#she kind of hates Johnny for what he's doing to Kerry too

[vole-mon-amour]

Kerry trying to hide his jealousy with Johnny about Alt, but then steaming with snarky comments that Johnny sees right through.

They bicker. They fight. Johnny tries to kiss Kerry, Kerry protests and pushes back. "We ain't exclusive. Take it or leave it," Johnny says. They aren't a thing. There's nothing to build or continue, there's no and will never be any actual dating between them, yet Johnny keeps trying, keeps pushing—because deep down he really, really wants this.

And Kerry takes it. Of course he does. How could he really resist when it's right there? He'd tell anyone to go fuck themselves, but this is Johnny.

He tried to leave and he came back. He tried to leave again and Johnny still managed to smooth talk him into returning.

The truth is very simple: until Johnny is gone, he'll take it—again and again. Love will keep them together and love will tear them apart.

[emeraldhaven]

Celebrating You and Only You

V hated birthdays.

Another tick of the clock towards inevitability, a step towards the end of a life she loved so very much. She didn't hate them purely because of this of course - she also didn't like the expectations that came on a day like today. Gifts, parties, celebrations of her life which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't all that important. She'd much rather head out on her bike, drive by some Tyger Claws or Maelstrom and fry their brains to a crisp using her cyberdeck than have to accept gifts from her friends that, bless their souls, would be trying to make this year a "year to remember".

"Jesus V - could you be any more depressin'? Cheer up, live a little!" Johnny whined, appearing on the sidewalk beside V. He was looking wistfully over the Watson community centre, leaning on the handrail exactly the same as she was.

"C'mon Johnny, you've been trawling through my memories, you know why I don't like today." V said, looking over to see whatever Johnny was also looking at. She didn't really see anything other than a few people drunk or high stumbling along the sidewalk. She breathed in deeply, held it and closed her eyes, the stale Night City air burning her lungs, then dropping her shoulders and breathing out slowly, her hand gripping tightly onto the railing.

Johnny shook his head and scoffed, pushing off of the railing and crossing his arms.

"Hey, I'm not sayin' you need to like today, just at least visit the people who care about you most. Quit bein' a little shit and make people feel like you appreciate their efforts."

V sighed. She really didn't want to go and see anybody today, but maybe Johnny was right - maybe she ought to go see some of her friends? Taking out her phone, she opened up the contacts menu and scrolled down, tapping on So Mi.

The phone rang, and rang, and rang, and rang.

"Huh. Why isn't So Mi picking up?" V wondered. It's quite unlike her little Songbird to not pick up the phone when she called, given everything that happened between the two. Granted, she'd just come back from her little trip up to Tycho, and any kind of operation is going to be taxing on somebody - maybe she wasn't feeling up to chatting?

V tried to contact her other friends: Kerry went straight to voicemail; Judy was on do-not-disturb; Panam was "out of cell range" - whatever that meant; River was "at work". Tapping her phone against her chin, V hummed out loud some familiar tune that was stuck in her head whilst she thought why every single person she could possibly want to hang out with was suddenly completely unavailable.

She hears a ping from her cellphone - it's a photo from So Mi and it's of the front door to her apartment. The caption reads:

"Come home."

V's heartrate shoots up - what does she mean, come home? Songbird has no idea where her apartment is, she'd never gone there during the whole Dogtown event, instead staying at the various safehouses that Reed and Alex had set up. It was a worrying thing for So Mi to know both where she lived and that she was there - it wasn't a particularly safe megabuilding.

Hopping on her Kusanagi, she turned the key and kicked off the pavement, pulling the throttle hard and speeding off to her home. After some incredibly reckless driving (Judy calls it "literally asking for trouble"), she arrives in quite possibly the shortest amount of time it's ever taken for her to drive across Night City. V practically jumps up the entire flight of stairs in front of her block, somehow leaping up 4 stairs at a time to reach the elevator, barely even registering the small red-electrical glitch on the TV screens, and once it arrives at the top sprints towards her apartment door and opens it.

The first thing V notices is that it's too quiet. Taking a quick scan around her apartment with her eyes, she can't see anyone and even her Kiroshi's aren't registering anything out of the ordinary. It takes one, two, three steps into her home before anything happens. A red glitch takes over her vision; quite similar to how the Relic would give her trouble, but she feels completely fine; until it all starts to clear and…

"SURPRISE!!" A loud cacophony of voices and cheers and party horns and poppers go off, showering her in a sea of noise, warmth and a shocking amount of confetti. V blinks away the odd bit of static to see all of her friends standing before her: Panam, Mitch, Judy, Rita, River, Kerry, Misty, Reed, Alex, Jackie, Viktor, Takemura and right in the middle as though she was illuminated by the stars themselves, So Mi holding a cake with the cutest little artistic (and quite edible) depiction of V at work, Mantis Blades in hand.

"Guys, you didn't have to do all this!" V exclaimed, shocked that they could have even set up something as elaborate as this without her really knowing.

"V, choom, we wouldn't have had it any other way." Jackie said softly, walking over and placing a hand around her shoulders. "Now kick back, relax and grab a cold one - it's time for celebrating you, and only you, today. None of this back and forth shit."

V looked up at Jackie and back towards her friends, her eyes starting to well up from all the emotions. She started to see all the little details - the cake, the small pieces of ribbon around the apartment, the bunting celebrating her 24th birthday, and all her friends dressed up and here for her. It wasn't something she was used to, but it was definitely something she could grow to enjoy.

As the party started, Jackie left V to go talk to Viktor and Takemura about some boxing thing that V didn't really know a whole lot about. She walked over and sat down next to So Mi, dressed in an immaculate jacket and jean combo that was quite similar to what her Relic-form had actually looked like. She was stunning, truly a beautiful woman in her own right, but since she got back from Luna she had this sparkle in her eyes that made V's heart flutter.

"Hey V - didn't see this one coming did you?" Songbird smirked, her soft lips accented in a beautifully red lipstick. V felt almost unable to take her eyes off of them, flicking down between her two newest vices: Songbird's eyes and lips.

"Uh, um, n-no no I didn't actually. How long have you known?" V stuttered.

"Ha! Well, it was a combination of everyone really. I got back from Tycho and, well, I got contacted by Panam - something about you not really having a lot of time celebrating your birthday in the past?" So Mi took a sip from her drink, lips wrapped around the straw in her cup.

"Ah I shouldn't have gotten drunk and chatted life with Panam - didn't realise that I'd have left something like that slip." V chuckled. "What was your little part to play in all this, Song?"

"The whole fact you couldn't see anything - hooked into the Relic and altered your visualware for the whole effect. Might have spruced other things up, as well, but y'know that's just for personal fun." Song couldn't have looked any more smug, nor more beautiful given that it seemed like, to V at least, that she was literally glowing.

"You're beautiful." V muttered, completely unaware that she'd said that out loud.

Songbird blushed a deep red. "Thanks V, that means a lot coming from you." She started to play with the top of the typical red cup she was holding.

V's eyes widened and her own scarlet blush creeped across her face, the tips of her eyes going ever so slightly pink. Taking a swig of her drink, she placed her hand on top of So Mi's, their pinkies ever so slightly hooking onto the other's.

"No, thank you Song - for all of this. I really, really appreciate you being here, and I'd want nothing else." V smiled softly at So Mi, flicking down to her lips again. She suddenly got quite aware of how close they were actually sitting on the couch.

"V… I-"

"Hey V! Come check out this sweet new gear that Judy's got!" Panam called over, rushing to grab V's arm and pull her away from Songbird. V looked back guiltily at Song, mouthing out "I'm sorry, talk later!" towards the redhead who smiled back and nodded in return.

The party would continue into the late night, and one-by-one people said their farewells and see-you-laters until everyone had left except for Jackie and Songbird.

"Alright V, I'd best be off - got a cute date with Misty in the morning, and I don't wanna miss it." Jackie said, slapping his legs and standing up. V walked him over to the door and hugged him.

"Thanks Jack - I had a preem time today." V said, choking on the last few words and giving Jackie another hug before he left.

"And then there were two." Songbird chuckled, lounging back on the couch, heels off and feet up on the couch, arms outstretched over the couch's spine.

"Well it was one at some point right, back when you were just a cute ghost in my head?" V chuckled, the room slightly swaying. V stumbles over and flops down onto the couch, falling right into the space between So Mi's side and her outstretched arm. V's back is suddenly warm, the machinery within So Mi's body heating up as the alcohol within their systems work independently, but seemingly together.

So Mi wraps her arm around V's chest, slowly stroking her abdomen, fingers raising and dropping at the curves of her abs. "Mmm - only a cute ghost? I seem to remember a certain someone thinking quite a lot about other things that involve the 'cute ghost in her head'." So Mi giggled, squeezing softly.

"Would be a gonk ass move to think too much nowadays though; pretty sure I was getting quite visceral feedback myself." V looked up at So Mi, gazing back into those captivating eyes. "Couldn't help it, Song, you had me when you invited back to that bench."

So Mi hummed, a multitude of thoughts, feelings and pure emotions coursing through her head. As her heartbeat ramped up, the whirring in the motors in her spine lowly increased, and V noticed.

"Not gettin' too mushy on me, are ya' Song?" V giggled back, placing her own hand on Songbird's, the dark glow of both her apartment and Night City from her window illuminating the two.

Songbird shook her head and then slowly, softly and with the most care anyone has ever given to V, leant down and kissed the top of her head. Burying her nose in the plushness of V's soft, delicate stained-red hair, she exhaled in complete comfort.

"No V, I'm just as mushy and as happy as I want to be right here, right now, with you. Spending as much time as I can while we still have it to spend in whatever ways we want. Happy birthday, V." Songbird murmured, closing her eyes.

Taking a minute, V calmed her screaming heart and said quietly: "It's, um, it's Valerie. My real name is Valerie."

"Then happy birthday Valerie - you deserve it." Songbird affirmed.

V hummed happily, sleepily planting an ever softer kiss on So Mi's hand, entwining their fingers and drifting off, her eyelids fluttering closed as the comforting embrace of Songbird enveloped her in her wings.

Maybe V didn't hate birthdays after all.

[trashcatsnark]

Wip Christmas Eve

Hewwo~ I was tagged by @nightcxty to share some WIPs a while back, I have finally done some writing I feel good about sharing so- have words~ TW: mentions of gore and blood

First WIP: Can You Feel The Sun- Chapter 85

“There is no Samurai without Silverhand,” Nancy says, V feeling a cocktail of melancholy and pride stirring in Johnny’s chest. His eyes staring at the back of Nancy’s seat. V’s hand finding his leg where his feet are propped up, squeezing the muscles there to provide a modicum of comfort or something.  “Well, on the technical level- I’d be filling in for him.”  “Hahaha... You?”  “Kerry vetted me himself,” V assures her, “Know I don’t exactly seem to the type, but different person on stage- trust me. And sides, way I see it, concert would be Silverhand’s honor.”  “That so, what's got into Kerry all of a sudden? Thought he got over this ages ago���” Nancy muses more to herself than to V. “I mean, maybe just the timing,” V suggests, shrugging her shoulders and trying to feign ignorance as she delicate tries to steer the conversation,”I mean, fuck- Silverhand’s birthday is right around the corner. Another life, another timeline- be turning 89 in just a few days.” “Swear to fuck, only number that sticks in your head is how old I’d be..”  “Doubt it,” Nancy whispers, but there’s almost a breath of a laugh around her words, “Don’t think there’s anything that could have stopped that gonk from putting himself in an early grave. Hate to say it, but people like Johnny die young and they die violently, way of the world.”  “What do you mean, people like Johnny?”  “Should know, you’re one of ‘em after all,” Nancy mutters, eyes lingering  where V bleeds against the leather.  V swallows a lump in her throat that tastes like blood. She wonders how she must look to someone like Nancy. Dex’s old question, to burn out young and die without seeing thirty or to have a long quiet life. She said back then, all that time ago, that the world doesn’t give a choice. That she wasn’t meant to choose, that sometimes those on a long quiet like find their plans cut short by a single stray bullet. But she can’t deny that people like her, like Johnny, like Jackie, like Bug- they rarely get to see their hair turn gray.  Nancy sits here, deep into her eighties with gray curls and soft wrinkles lining her face. She’s got her quiet life, she’s lived long enough to see her later years, made enough of a name and enough money to stay looking relatively young while doing it. And here’s V, freshly twenty-one, riddled with bullet holes and face a mess of bruises and blood. She’s lived on the brink of death since she was born, even if not for the relic- she’d probably find her end young. At the hands of a gang member, at the hands of her father, her sister, or any of the dangers that lurk in this city.  She wonders how Nancy feels- knowing she’ll likely outlive V.  V can’t imagine, can’t imagine seeing someone so much younger- a child to her and just knowing their story will end before her own.  The merc sucks in a lungful of smoke, lets it settle into her blood before blowing it out the window; “Point is, Ker wants to put on a show.”  She tries not to linger too much on wondering how long Johnny will live this time, beneath her skin once she’s gone. He’s not a man meant for a long life, it crushes her heart but she knows Nancy is right. Even with his edges softening, he’s not the kind of man to seek peace and quiet. But that doesn’t mean he’s any less deserving of more time, of a longer story- once more chapter, one more paragraph, one more line, one more word- he deserves that much. 

Second WIP- been writing a bit from my durge's POV, early game stuff~

No name. No home. No connections. No idea where he is.  But he knows he’s fucked.  So, there’s certainly that- he heaves a heavy sigh, scratching black claws over his short dark horns. He’ll have to figure out how to pluck the tadpole from his head and make sense of the abyss sitting inside of it, but perhaps the first step should be just figuring out where the hells he is.  His boots crush through sand, the leather thuds softly against a limp corpse. One of many that decorate the beach, crimson streaked rags cover the body. Hair matted to their greying forehead with a mix of blood and sand. The heavy gash across their skull giving away the cause of their death, the smell of drying blood burns at his nose stirring something inside of him. An ache settling within his bones, fingers twitching as thoughts of sinking his fingers through the soft meat flitter in his mind. How easily he could crack the already fractured skull, feel it break within his fingers, play in the viscera he finds inside. Only a pity they're already dead, that he'd never get to hear them scream.  What the fuck,no, no- he shakes his head like a dog throwing off water. That's, no, no, he blinks through a haze he can't name. Nudges the body again with his boot, seeing where half their body is turning purple where the blood settles. And as his heel hovers above the corpses head, impulse strikes it down, hard and swift as he crushes their skull- a smile pulls at his lips when he hears the crack of the bones and the squelch of viscera beneath his weight. Then he jolts back, as if struck, smearing blood through sand- why did he do that?  Is that the tadpole, making him violent- monstrous?  Despite the gnawing gap where a memory should lay, he can't shake the idea this isn't the first corpse he's stood over. Not the first time he’s heard the crunch of bone, watched crimson seep into the edges of his boots, nor smiled at the sight. He shakes his head, pushes through again and leaves the crushed corpse behind as he begins his march across the sand.

[fereldanwench]

so since i had the tower ending available to me, i figured i'd run through it

disorganized, spoilery thoughts under the cut

so a few world-state items of note:

valerie had no romance (ofc)

valerie did the parade and saved goro (ofc)

valerie never met kerry

valerie didn't help judy with the clouds stuff so judy was also not a friend to call

valerie did have panam and river available as friends

valerie and johnny were very much not friends

i had only seen the ending with a friendship johnny, so getting to experience the rival dialogue was actually really cool. i did record the whole thing so i'll probably upload some clips from that and muse on it properly, but yeah, i love it when valerie and johnny fight. i loved being able to have her call him a narcissist 10/10. and i like that i could play her as still somewhat sympathetic to his situation

i love 2079 reed. his tie and office bod are precious <333

since valerie had no romance, i did get to hear goro during her in-and-out-of-consciousness scenes, which i absolutely loved

i knew about river and panam's phone calls/msgs and neither one of them are actually that close to valerie so the emotional impact there for me was minimal

much like with the devil ending, though, i wish goro was at least listed in her phone, even if it went to a disconnected number in 2079. valerie did tell him she was going to go with hanako prior to this, so having some kind of 'hey, are we doing this thing' msgs from him in 2077 would have been cool.

and like there seems to be some recognition from the devs that players who didn't get attached to any of the romances or had any other friends likely had some degree of fondness towards goro--hence using his voice in the coma. so once again, it just feels like there's missing content from him, basically. not even asking for romantic stuff here either--just more platonic interactions would have been very much appreciated!!!!

vik's situation depresses the hell out of me, even moreso than v's, although i did love getting to spend more time with him and see a different side to him just for characterization purposes. i loved the employee eval on his computer that said he talks to patients too much, because MUSE FUEL MUSE FUEL MUSE FUEL

(i'm actually in the process of working on some story sets for the events that happen directly after the heist, and vik gossiping to goro has been on my mind since the 'vik likes to talk' line v can deliver so this just compounded that)

connecting with misty briefly does kind of heal the soul a little at least

seeing valerie un-chromed and with a shaved head was pretty jarring, although not as much as seeing her in those clothes lmao. like wtf did the fia do with the clothes she arrived in??? even if she wasn't in top form, she would still make an effort to look somewhat nice going to see an old friend but i mean, i get it, at this point my vision of valerie is so beyond the possibilities of the game's potential characterizations for v

i also have a glitch in my game in which she's constantly holding a pistol during some cutscenes lmao so uh having randos try to beat her up while she's visibly armed was odd

the devil ending is still valerie's canon so this was just a curiosity playthrough, but i am somewhat intrigued by the possibility of another AU/alternate timeline for her and goro playing off these events.

the obvious scenario would be valerie becoming a fixer and goro becoming her bodyguard after they work out their shit since goro is clearly unhappy in 2079 lmao, but this ending plays on the convenient-lack-of-communication tropes that i fucking hate in stories (like really, the FIA couldn't find a way to get in touch with v's friends and let them know what's going on? i don't buy it) so it'd require a lot of rework for me.

and i really can't see valerie willingly going with the FIA, particularly after she told goro she was gonna go with arasaka, so i think a lot of that would have to change too

but idk, it's not a priority. i like having the AU stuff to tinker with when i need a break from their canon, which i currently do not. maybe it'll be like the nomad AU and suddenly hit me out of nowhere :3

but yeah im glad i experienced it for myself since there can be so many little personalized variations, but i also feel kinda out of sorts because it just felt really OOC for valerie and there were some major downers there, lmao. i feel like i need a bit of a palette cleanser

OH and i liked rogue taking nibbles, that was a pleasant surprise

[justawhimm]

you’re real

fandom: cyb//erp//unk 2077 summary: it's the first time he's really been alone with derry since she's been born. being the extrovert he is, though, he's losing his mind a little with the lack of people around to talk to. at least derry's a pretty good listener. this series explores the births of his four children and some moments of his parenting style toward each of them.

chapters: 2/8

content warnings: mention of alcohol use, mention of initial resentment toward an unborn children, mention familial issues

notes: Just a reminder that Derry isn't my creation! She's from the Cyb/erpu/nk TTRPG sourcebook known as Cyb//erGen//erat//ions, but has since been deemed noncanon. But! I liked the idea of her, so I'm writing about her.

Current Year: Early 2007 Kerry's Age: 19

cross posted on ao3

Being forced into a vacation wasn't necessarily how he was expecting the end of the tour to look like. … Ok, that sounded stupid as soon as he thought it out completely. Of course he would've had to have a break, regardless of whether he was still pregnant by the end of tour or not. Kinda inevitable and all of that. The part Kerry really hated and didn't expect to be an issue was the fact that he had to miss Nancy's wedding because he was fresh off giving birth and the idea of taking the baby on a plane sounded like a special kind of torture.

Nancy assured him it was fine. There wasn't much they could do about it. She insisted someone would record the ceremony, so he'd be able to watch it all with the rest of the band once everyone got back.

So, that left him. Alone. With his new daughter.

Derry Eur/ody/ne's birth had been all over the screamsheets for a while, unsurprisingly. What did surprise him was the fact that he'd actually decided to keep her. How? Well… fuck, he still wasn't totally sure yet. Just about a month postpartum, he was still struggling to figure out the details. There was a lot to think about. But honestly, he couldn't stand the idea of giving her to anyone else anymore. She was his. His tiny, insufferable virus. 

That sentiment had changed a lot over the weeks, though. He thought he was going to hate her from the moment he set eyes on her, but that was far from the truth of the matter. No, no… fuck, it really wasn't difficult to realize within just a few hours that he adored her. And much to the dismay of Johnny, he actually liked her name, too. 

What was so bad about it, after all? Sure, it was unconventional, but he thought it fit her pretty damn well. If she hated it, then whatever. She could change it when she got older. He didn't give a fuck. It was her life.

Back to the matter at hand.

For the first time since the day she was born, Kerry was alone with his daughter.

His bandmates and best friends were gone, off at the wedding. Probably getting drunk. God, he wished that was him. Kerry didn't really have contact with his parents anymore. Yeah, that was… mostly on him (Long story. He wouldn't dwell on it in his mind for long). That left him without anyone to rely on but himself.

It wasn't really like he was swimming in eddies, either. So hiring a nanny or something just wasn't an option. Hell, even getting any help from Johnny when he was home was almost impossible to attain. His kid, his problem, apparently. Guess he got that, yeah, but fuck. He would've hoped that maybe Johnny would have a single compassionate bone in his whole damn body.  Sometimes that was just asking way too much out of him.

Derry's little gurgles pulled Kerry out from letting his mind wander. Brown eyes trailed down to look at the baby girl on his chest, smiling at her slightly. That was one thing that kept him from getting too pissy with the idea of being a dad: the fact that she was so fuckin' cute.

"You sure sound like you're havin' a hell of a time," He remarked, pecking the top of her head. "Bet you're about as bored as I am, lil' Derry-Berry. All you've got ta do is eat, sleep, and shit. Can't even play with the toys your Aunt Denny got ya yet. Poor baby. Just… stuck with your dear ol' dad." Kerry sighed. He was beginning to feel ridiculous, talking to her like this. What was the point? Or maybe he was just so lonely and bored that he didn't give much of a shit.

"Ain't it pathetic, kid?" Kerry adjusted how he sat, his hold on her. He held her in a way where she was practically sitting at the end of his torso, his hands keeping her up and his fingers supporting her neck and head. It was hard not to smile at her, seeing her peer at him with those big eyes. "Dad's just… talkin' to you, but you don't really talk back. And I never really know what the fuck I'm doin'. Not like that's too much of a surprise, though. Don't think I ever know what I'm doin' in life. Your lolo and lola would probably already hate how I'm raisin' you, but… I'm doing my best."

Derry blinked at him, making a little "o" briefly with her mouth. She was so fuckin' cute, Kerry could hardly stand it. Bringing her closer, he'd press his lips to her cheek to make it squish against her face slightly. With that, he'd adjust how he held her again. He would let her lie back down in his arms, sitting himself up properly so he could look down at her.

"I don't think I'll do too bad… Doubt I'd be the worst dad in the world. Not by a long shot. I don't know who you're gonna be yet, but hopefully I'll instill a little bit of patience in that cute baby face of yours! 'Cause trust me, you'll need it when it comes to me. I'll get it eventually. You just might need to sit my ass down and tell me how it is sometimes. Yeah. Yeah… Just have some faith in me, Derry. I know I was a piece of shit while you were doing all your growing shit, but I wanna do right by you. I might still act like an asshole sometimes, but I promise I love you."

But that wasn't enough, and Kerry knew that. As much as he knew his parents loved him, they didn't give a shit about what he wanted. It was out of caring, out of love, but it'd caused more damage than anything else. Kerry never wanted that with Derry.

"I wanna listen to you. I want you to love me, too."

[redheadrae]

WIP Not-Wednesday

I'm a big dumb dummy and didn't see this til now but @wanderingaldecaldo tagged me on Wednesday so here I go lmaoo <3

TW/CW for drug use, but this is something!!

“I can deny the satisfaction of getting a graze because I was too worried about loading my gun bullet by bullet. Listen, do what you will recreationally, but if I’m in the middle of a shootout, I’m choosing the convenience of releasing a mag and shoving one right back up there,” Rogue leans back, crossing her ankle over her knee.

Kerry clucks and hands her a glass, “Shovin’ one up there- Tsch. No finesse!”

“Come on, Ker! Thought you liked it up the butt?” Johnny pitches in, dragging from a cigarette, “If you’d have told me in bed the first time I wouldn’t have put my-“

“Fuck off!”

The group howls with laughter at the pair, and Rogue joins in. When she looks to her right, Johnny is grinning at her, and she hates a little bit how it makes her heart skip a beat. He takes his cigarette and holds it up for her, eyes dilating as he watches her lips close around it. 

“Take good care of that for me, baby.”

The pet name makes her warm this time – or perhaps it’s the tequila doing its job –  and she’s having too good a time to pretend she’s mad about it. Rogue relaxes back, dragging on the cig as she watches one of the groupies pass a baggie to him, full of what she imagines is probably synth-coke. Her excitement spikes. She hasn’t been high in well over a few months; she’s been far too busy with gigs lately to have time to go out and load her brain up on party stimulants.

Johnny sprinkles some onto the back of his hand and passes the bag on, using a card to separate it into two lines. It’s kind of impressive that he doesn’t spill it all over. She watches him plug one nostril and take one of the lines in a long sniff. The cigarette hangs between her lips as she stares. He reaches out and takes it back, smirking as he raises his hand to her. Rogue sits up and paints a coy smile on her lips, tucking one leg beneath her so she can get a better angle to lean down with. She blocks one side of her nose and breathes in the line with the other. It hits the back of her nose quick, bitter, and thrilling, and she only pulls back slightly to make eye contact with him before dragging her tongue over his hand to collect any stray powder left behind. 

His chest vibrates and he turns his hand to hold her jaw, tilting her head and leaning in to put his lips to her ear, “Not too much of that tonight, sweetheart. Want’chya to have some feeling left in that tongue when you’re-”

“Wanna share with the class, Johnny?” Kerry pipes up, shit-eating grin on his face.

Johnny releases her to flip his middle finger at his friend, “Just havin’ a debate about who you’re gonna take to the bathroom first,” he says, and Rogue laughs.

Her red cheeks aren’t fooling anyone.

I'm gonna go ahead and tag @raciflaulaine @halfdreamtnomad and @g0n3-rogue hehehe <333

[justagirlsearchingforamuse]

I wanted to write what characters I think should’ve been romanacable or at least been able to have a one night stand with in Cyberpunk 2077 because I feel they should’ve had more options tbh. I will talk about what kinda missions they should’ve had for the characters were romanceable and how their relationships should’ve developed or could’ve per say.

1. Jackie Welles

First and foremost, I believe Jackie Welles who a lot of people want to romance believe me I can see why but I feel that if you wanted to keep his death in there, I could see V and it wouldn’t matter if what gender you were confessing to liking him. V is realizing that he’s dying right before them and is begging him not to go whilst putting pressure on his wound, Jackie cups their cheek before apologizing and giving them the chip. V manages to say that they love him and whether it’s platonic or not it’s up to you especially if you talk to other characters such as Judy, Panam, & River. You can talk about your relationship with Jackie as being somewhat like unrequited love, if you have the guts and the balls to you can even tell Misty that you had these feelings for him. But it’s gonna slightly bring down your relationship with her, she’ll express how she wasn’t surprised and how she noticed it. If you choose to end yourself in the final mission, depending on if you saw Jackie as a love interest you’ll end up saying how you love Jackie and how you can’t wait to see him. Even kissing the necklace and putting it on yourself before it all ends. But if you managed to keep him alive, I’d say that you’d be able to have a threesome with him and Misty cause honest to god I thought that’s what the developers were hinting at with the fucking ;). If you would manage to pull off such a feat you’d have to collect all of the tarot cards, do all of Misty’s missions as well as Jackie’s which I might talk about more in depth in future posts. Depending on how you’ve been treating them both which is well I hope, Jackie will bring you back to his apartment and talk about your relationships as well as your sex life. It eventually leads to Jackie whispering in your ear about how would you feel having a threesome with them, you can answer according to how you’re feeling. If you say yes then Misty will soon come into the room and she’ll sit right beside you, touching you and kissing on your neck whilst Jackie kisses you. If you guys would want me to write a Misty/V/Jackie smut or go into more depth about it then just send an ask in my ask box.

I’d like to imagine that if you manage to keep him alive up until the very end, he is with you when you visit Alt and when the bad news comes, you’re both pissed and it’s even to the point of Jackie nearly breaking down in tears. Jackie begins to blame Johnny for this, getting pissed at him and Alt, saying this should’ve never happened to V. Johnny can choose to argue with him or try and talk Alt into more options. Depending on how you played V, you can get a scene where if you choose to take over V’s body then V will end up confessing to Jackie saying how it’s the end for them and how sorry they are for this happening. V can even kiss Jackie and apologize once again before saying a tearful goodbye to Jackie. I’d imagine that Jackie would want little to nothing to do with Johnny not just because he believes it’s his fault for taking away his best friend but because everytime he sees Johnny he sees V and it breaks him every time. Jackie can break up with Misty sometime after the incident and is seen just living life with Mama Welles but he’s always thinking of V. If you choose to sacrifice Johnny, depending on how you treated Jackie and Misty you can end up in a polyamorous relationship. Though you all are trying to do your best to manage this, your relationship is pretty decent with them both.

I believe that you couldn’t romance him without Misty being there or I feel that he would never break Misty’s heart to date V or cheat on Misty with V because he doesn’t give me those vibes. If anything he’d seem to be against cheating, but I’d like to imagine if you’re a dick and whatnot that you’d be able to try and romance him but he keeps pushing you away if you end up being too touchy or romantic with him. So naturally he’d be quite hard to romance that’s if you include Misty. He is bisexual/pansexual and should be able to be romanced no matter your gender. Also, he gives me bottom vibes or power bottom vibes.

2. Johnny Silverhand

Personally I believe that you’d be able to romance him slightly towards the end of the game, like I imagine that if you manage to get on his good side and get him to trust you as well as remaining non romanceable to other people. I’d imagine that it’d all really depend upon the endings really, like you’d able to confess to him or kiss him in all of the 5 or 6 endings. You can confess in both of the main endings, it goes the same with you crying and saying how he’s one of the bestest friends you’ve ever had and saying how he really impacted your life. You can choose to kiss V or to hug them in a totally platonic way, as Johnny you can choose to say whether you liked them or whether you just wanted to give them as kiss as being able to recognize their feelings for him. Johnny in the Temperance ending will talk to Steve about V vaguely saying about whether he had feelings for them or how they were an amazing friend. He can even say kiss the necklace that V always carried with them before saying something like, “I won’t forget you, babe.” if you chose to make it where Johnny began to develop feelings for V. V in the ending if you had feelings towards Johnny, you can see that she tells that to her Life Coach or whatever if you are a Corpo V and she’ll confess that she liked him, saying how she’s been missing him a lot lately. As much as I’d love a Johnny and V sex scene that I’d be able to imagine in the game, I can’t see sex happening, maybe making out but Johnny seems like the kind to really become angsty at the idea of not being able to actually feel you. But I’d imagine if you could by some miracle would be able to get him to kiss you early on in the game then I’d say it’d be a lot of making out and Johnny getting off of you. Feeling as though he has nothing to offer you or that he hates not being able to actually feel you. But basically a romance with Johnny Silverhand and V would be angsty af or would be short-lived, sorry guys. Also, Johnny is bisexual so it doesn’t matter what gender you are. Though I do like the idea of an ending where you choose to spend your final days with Johnny whether it’s having sex (in some way), doing stupid shit, or just being in each other’s presence, I feel in this ending he’d ask you if you’d want him to take over your body before you go, if you say yes you can kiss him before telling him to take care of them. But if you say no, then he just spends his and your final moments just laying on the bed and staring into each other’s eyes.

He is bisexual especially from how much he regrets not fucking or getting with Kerry back then but he goes give me heavy dom vibes but at the same time he doesn’t seem to care as long as he’s getting some.

3. Viktor Vector

He’d also be bi, I feel that most of the romances are bi/pan or are gay such as Judy. He gives me bi nerd vibes though as well as I am a tired bi vibes. You should’ve been able to romance him in game or at least have something with him tbh. I feel he’d have about 4 quests which should lead to a romance, once you pay Viktor what you promised he’ll say how he thanks you and will text you a quest which would probably be something like being his boxing partner or something. i feel his quests would have to do a lot with him reliving his younger years of boxing or just doing what he’d call stupid shit with V, I can imagine that the quests would be V getting Viktor to do things he usually doesn’t do. In the final mission, I’d imagine that he’d come to your apartment or he’ll text you about having dinner and some drinks or even the final date being after the last mission you guys both did which was dangerous, something that resulted in you being checked up on by Viktor. Depending on if you’ve been playing your cards right, I can imagine him finishing up on your wounds or whatnot and you end up being the one to confess that you’ve grown closer to him, you caress his cheeks and he ends up telling you to shut up and he kisses you. It leads to you both making out on the chair before you end up on top, you caress his cheeks once more before kissing him again and he in between kisses says how you need to be more careful with your wound. You snarkily tell him to shut up and you kiss him again before it fast forwards to some cute yet steamy sex with plenty of Viktor trying to be gentle on you. Though I’d imagine if you were Male V/Non-Binary V he’d be a little less gentle on you or the roles would be reversed in the mission before I’d imagine in the mission before he either took a bullet for you or you took a bullet for him. He’s a little less gentle with you and a huge tease towards you whether you’re fem’ V or male’ V. He’d play a bigger role in the ending if you romanced him, I feel similar to Panam he should have his own ending or at least a secret ending where it ends with him just trying to take care of you in your final moments. He is there with you along with Misty and Jackie if you managed to save him and you say your final words to them, thanking them for being there forever and always with you. Viktor takes off his glasses and ends up kissing you before nearly breaking down in tears as you begin to slowly fade away from this world, muttering how you’ll never forget them. Viktor ends up wanting to keep his business, wanting to try and help people if he can with you always on his mind and he ends up becoming a big thing, He always is thinking of you, even adopting a child who takes after you with their mischievous personality. It ends with him gifting your child with the necklace that Jackie ends up giving you, beginning to tell your child the journey that you went on that he witnessed. He gives me strong bisexual or maybe even gay vibes tbh. Also, gives me major switch vibes.

4. Goro Takemura

Of course everyone loves him, I do too just not as much as some do. I feel a romance should’ve formed or he should’ve had a few sidequests that would lead to more of a romance. His side quests should’ve been exploring the city with him as well as him just trying to find people who can help V with the chip, 2 or 3 of the quests are you and him exploring the city and helping him learn about Night City. Even learning more about his past and him learning more about yours, which could lead to you both having a romance. Realistically speaking I feel there wouldn’t be a sex scene, so sorry but I feel he’s the kind to want to want things to get more serious and whatnot before considering having sex. He gives me very much if you like it then you better put a ring on it vibes. I can imagine on their last quest which I can see being an expensive dinner date that Takemura keeps insisting on paying for but you choose to because you want to see his face twist in pleasure at the amazing food. I imagine he takes you to an expensive restaurant and once you say all the right things, you can grab Takemura’s hand and take him to his car in which you’ll end up making out with him heavily and before you can get his pants off. He pushes you off, insisting that he doesn’t want to move too fast with you and that he’s enjoying the relationship he has with you he just doesn’t want to give that up yet. But I can imagine if he lives he plays a bigger role and even gets his own ending or plays a big role in the endings where you choose to follow after Hanako, he keeps telling you that you’re doing good and that you made the right choice. I can imagine if you romanced him/kept him alive he’s the one trying to convince you to do the final test/experiment to keep you alive. i can see him playing a good role if you manage to keep him alive and if you romance him, overall I feel he’s bisexual or demisexual. He gives me strong demisexual vibes and or bicurious vibes. Also, he’s a bottom/power bottom and I’m leaving it at that.

5. Kerry Eurodyne

He should’ve remained bisexual tbh, I get it wanting gay rep but also don’t do bi erasure, I see him as bi leaning more towards guys but he’ll be happy to date fem’ V as long as they play their cards right. I feel he should’ve been a more serious option or could’ve been more serious, I feel in the first quest or 2 you have to make a good impression on him and show him you’re down for whatever. Show him that you will make an impact on him and that you’re different, during the first few quests which I can see are just helping him with fans who have no boundaries or helping him get rid of his writer’s block and get back into music. I can imagine the first quest he is calling you anxious about a bunch of fans out in his driveway which you can try to convince them that this isn’t right or knock the fans out which the latter can have Kerry a little distant from you. Thought if you don’t manage to convince them they might try to get violent if it means Kerry would come out, which results in Kerry coming out and helping you I’d imagine he’d need someone who can handle the crazy lifestyle that he has, the fans, handle all of the crazy shit that is in his life. I feel the love scene would happen all the same to be honest and would happen after you finish all the quests and show great interest in becoming more. I’d imagine that he wouldn’t play that big of a role but he’s there and often texting you about random ass shit and he’s honestly just enjoying having some company. Also, he gives me power bottom vibes or a switch who likes to talk a lot of shit and tease you, lol.

6. River Ward

I would talk about River Ward who is my favorite love interest in the game tbh but I feel I’d be repeating what I’m saying for Kerry, River should’ve been bi imo or maybe even bicurious and Male/Non-Binary V is his first boyfriend. The love scene could be different in which I feel he’d be the bottom this time, he’d be trying to tell you to go easy on him and saying how he hasn’t done this before. Honestly it’d be just a fluffy love scene with River and he gives me total bi or demisexual vibes. Also, he is a total switch but he is dom more than he is submissive.

Also, this should go without saying that I feel that you should be able to go on a date that is a sidequest with them or even be able to call them and plan dates out with your respectable partners and you can go to bars and food places or even your own place. It’d be nice to have that added in the game but it’d be a lot to do.

Alright so I promise to do girls next and I am totally down to writing about what should be included in Cyberpunk that could improve the game greatly, cause honestly I feel that the story is great and immersive but it’s everything that happens outside of the story that is kinda not done right. Also, send me asks about these possible scenarios such as a Takemura and V dinner date quest, lol.

[fresh-prince-of-denmark]

Cyberpunk 2077 Literary Analysis Pt 7: Leave me Alone, Hemingway, You’re Supposed to be Dead

Surprise bitch I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.

Cyberpunk spoilers ahead!

Cyberpunk meta literary analysis masterpost here 

Okay, so I thought I would be done with this, but it kinda feels like Hemingway has me by the left asscheek and won’t let me go as of late. So here we are: Cyberpunk literature meta-analysis part 7: For Whom the Bell Tolls

Hemingway comes up a few times in Cyberpunk, too many times to ignore. It’s not surprising, really. We know that Johnny is actually a pretty well-read guy from some of his passing comments, and if I had to guess, he’d probably really connect to Hemingway. In fact, if you play Johnny’s ending with Rogue, the final quest is called “For Whom the Bell Tolls” (which is also cool since it keeps the theme of all the missions being song titles, as this is also a Metallica song). But for once, this analysis isn’t entirely about Johnny or V. Hopefully this rings a bell (pun intended), as we’re very explicitly told who else really connected to Hemingway.  

Jackie Wells.

During the quest Heroes, Mama Wells will ask you to go through Jackie’s garage to find something for the ofrenda. One option is a book, For Whom the Bell Tolls by Earnest Hemingway. Misty will comment that he used to read it before a big job, and that it was important to him. If you choose to bring the book for the ofrenda, V will “read from the book” (I put this in quotes because the passage they read has actually been misattributed, it is a Hemingway quote, but not from FWTBT, rather from another of his works titled “Men at War”):

“When you go to war as a boy, you have a great illusion of immortality. Other people get killed, not you... Then, when you are badly wounded the first time, you lose that illusion, and you know it can happen to you.”

The majority of our main characters start out as The Fool, naive and feeling like they’re on top of the world, the kind of hubris that can only come with youth. Yet, like Hemingway says, it takes a bullet to give one a dose of reality.

For Whom the Bell Tolls is a story of war. Our protagonist, Robert Jordan (I’d be really interested to know if Johnny’s birth name, Robert John Linder, was inspired by this), leaves his cushy job as a college instructor in the United States to join the Republican side in the Spanish Civil War. Robert begins the novel fairly bland; he has no real friends, no real family, and he feels completely disconnected from the world. In all honesty, he’s boring. Like, if wet cardboard were a person. He doesn’t really care if he lives or dies, not because he’s a badass, but because he really doesn’t have anything to lose. No passion, no connections, nothing he loves that ties him to this earth despite the fact that he is a man of such strong convictions that he willingly joins this war. Robert is tasked with destroying a bridge, meeting comrades of varying philosophies along the way, who become a kind of found family to him. Despite going out of his way to avoid making connections, he falls in love, not just with the love interest Maria, but with his friends, finally giving him something worth fighting for, something connecting him to this life. The novel concludes as the group finally blow up the bridge (a task done in vain, since the Republican side has ultimately sustained more losses than the Fascists), and Robert is injured. He convinces the others to leave him behind so he can buy them time to escape. The novel ends just as it begins; our protagonist lying in wait in a forest, gun in hand, “heart to the ground,” on a bed of pine needles. (For more on cycles/mirrors/reflections, see here).

While there’s a much larger political message here that could parallel the themes of Cyberpunk, I want to focus more on the philosophical side, as it ties in with my previous analysis much more coherently. The biggest theme of this novel is about how interpersonal relationships are what matter most in this life, which is summarized very nicely by the poem by John Donne which not only lends the novel it’s name, but serves as it’s opening epitaph:

No man is an island,

Entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less.

As well as if a promontory were.

As well as if a manor of thine own

Or of thine friend's were.

Each man's death diminishes me,

For I am involved in mankind.

Therefore, send not to know

For whom the bell tolls,

It tolls for thee.

This poem and the overall meaning of the book work on two levels. The most obvious is that we all die one day, that mortality is fleeting. But on another level, No man is an island. Our identity is tied within our communities, those that love us, and those we live for. “Therefore, send not to know/For whom the bell tolls/It tolls for thee.” Each time a person dies, a piece of all those who loved them dies with them. Funerals are not just for the deceased, but for us, a chance to bury the pieces of ourselves that died with them. “Each is a piece of the continent/Apart of the main/If a clod be washed away by the sea/Europe is the less.”

Johnny is incredibly similar to Robert Jordan. Despite knowing a lot of people and having a lot of connections, Johnny is not particularly loved, and that feeling is mutual. He even tells V that they are the only person who knows him that that doesn’t hate his guts. Both Robert and Johnny are men who base their morals and identity solely on principal and ideals; standing up for what is right, fighting against oppression, rebellion, but that passion is not borne from interpersonal relationships and connections. It is made of hate of the world, not love of their fellow man. This leads to one of Johnny’s fatal flaws; he did not fear death, because he did not feel as if he had anything to lose. He was consumed and driven by hate, not love, leading to all of his failed relationships. Had Johnny something to lose, he may not have taken all of the stupid the risks he did, acting as if he did not care about his own life.

V, in many ways, parallels Maria, Robert’s love interest in the novel. While Robert salvation lies in the love he has for all of his newfound friends, the main focus is on the love interest, Maria. Here’s an interesting bit of dialogue between Maria and Robert:

"Now, feel. I am thee and thou art me and all of one is the other. And I love thee, oh, I love thee so. Are you not truly one? Canst thou not feel it?"

"Yes," he said, "it is true."

"And feel now. Thou hast no heart but mine."

"Nor any other legs, nor feet, nor of the body."

"But we are different," she said. "I would have us exactly the same."

"You do not mean that." (20.66-71)

In this moment, Robert and Maria are talking about how they feel as if they have fused into the same person, as if they share a body. Yet there is a key difference in how they view their relationship: Maria wishes that they were exactly the same, while Robert states that she doesn’t mean that. Similarly, while Johnny seems to enjoy the growth he and V provide one another, his greatest fear is V/himself being changed into something they are not. Hmmmm….

Johnny and V are very different people by the end of Cyberpunk, finding meaning in relationships just as Robert has. For V, this means Judy, River, Panem, Kerry, Misty, Vik, etc. And for Johnny, this means V, and by extension, all of the people who make up V’s identity through their love and friendship. Despite dying and rising again as lines of code, V is able to finally show Johnny what it means to be human. His journey, I believe, can be accurate summed up by this quote from the novel:

“This was the greatest gift that he had, the talent that fitted him for war; that ability not to ignore but to despise whatever bad ending there could be. This quality was destroyed by too much responsibility for others or the necessity of undertaking something ill planned or badly conceived. For in such things the bad ending, failure, could not be ignored. It was not simply a possibility of harm to one's self, which could be ignored. He knew he himself was nothing, and he knew death was nothing. He knew that truly, as truly as he knew anything. In the last few days he had learned that he himself, with another person, could be everything. But inside himself he knew that this was the exception. That we have had, he thought. In that I have been most fortunate. That was given to me, perhaps, because I never asked for it. That cannot be taken away nor lost. But that is over and done with now on this morning and what there is to do now is our work.”

In addition, Robert’s final conversation with Maria as he is convincing the others to leave him behind so he can buy them time to escape is nearly identical to Johnny and V’s final conversation:

"Listen to this well, rabbit," he said. He knew there was a great hurry and he was sweating very much, but this had to be said and understood. "Thou wilt go now, rabbit. But I go with thee. As long as there is one of us there is both of us. Do you understand?" (43.319)

Here, Robert is telling Maria that because they are the same, only one of them needs to survive in order for them both to live. Compare that to what Johnny tells V:

V: For fucks sake, defend yourself! You’re not even trying!

Johnny: Hmm…sounds kind of familiar. We know that attitude. See, V? Stayin’ with you whether you like it or not.”

This scene is further paralleled by the fact that V crosses a bridge to reach Mikoshi, which is set to be destroyed, just as Robert was tasked with destroying the bridge. Furthermore, in the Suicide ending, the overall theme is about how V “never realized just how many friends they had.” Friends who, in all other endings, were willing to die for V, as losing them meant a piece of themselves dying with them. Similarly, Robert considers killing himself as his friends escape, as the pain of his injury becomes too much to bear. However, he is comforted knowing that his sacrifice will mean that they live, telling himself, "I don't mind this at all now they are away.” Despite now having something to live for, like Johnny, they are still able to brave their deaths as now they have been given meaning. And not just any meaning; love. No longer hate, or rage, or blind idealism. Love. 

This is the overall message of Cyberpunk: maybe you won’t change the world. Maybe you won’t win the war. Maybe your sacrifice isn’t going to change history. Maybe, in the grand scheme of the universe, you don’t matter, and you won’t ever be a legend. But you do matter to the people in your life. No man is an island. We were made to be in each other’s lives, to love one another, to change one another for the better. And that’s what life is all about.

[asleepyraven]

Reflections

Summary: Johnny processes the conversation he and V have in the oil fields.

Word Count: 1101

Warnings: Language and brief mention of blood.  Characters: Johnny, Female V (Nomad) A/n: If I missed any warnings please let me know! In the mean time hope you enjoy! I haven’t written in a while and this asshole (affectionate) has taken over my life so I thought I’d practice by getting in his head for a bit.

Johnny stood, arm pressed against the cool glass of the window of V’s apartment mulling over the conversation they’d had in the oil fields a few hours ago. He’d never really...talked to anyone like that before.  Sure, sometimes he and Kerry had gotten too drunk or too high on god only knew what and they’d had some talks, but it was nothing like what he’d had with V. Most of those times it was Kerry going on about something, Kerry spilling his guts about one thought or another, and yeah sometimes Johnny would agree, admit he felt some of that shit too, but it never felt like last night had. He never felt so fuckin’.... vulnerable.  He glanced over at V, passed out on the bed and shook his head. Why the fuck does she sleep like that? How many nights now had he spent with her; and he still didn’t understand it. It was just a quirk of hers he supposed. Maybe it blocked out more of the light, but then, she could just close the window shades and she refused to do that too. She liked the neon lights. Something about them comforted her, which made no sense since, as a Nomad, she was used to falling asleep under the stars. The only time she actually used the shades was when she tried to sleep during the day. V was just strange.  Johnny had spent weeks in her head now, and he still didn’t quite understand her. He’d spent days going through her memories (sure, maybe it was a huge invasion of privacy, but what else was a guy supposed to do?). He watched how she interacted with people, tried to study how she operated, but it didn’t quite explain how she thought. He’d told her he’d figured it out, and he thought he had, but she kept surprising him.  Like tonight.  The oil fields. A whole lotta nothin’. The final realization that no sign Johnny Silverhand ever existed at all. Arasoka tower had been rebuilt, Samurai had faded to dust, and the battle cry he had died for had been silenced. Johnny who? All his rage, all that anger he took out on everyone around him, it did nothing. It amounted to zilch. All it did was hurt anyone that had ever been gonk enough to care about him. Maybe he didn’t deserve to be remembered at all. 

But then V had carved his initials and for some reason that helped. It was like she snapped him back to reality, forced the world to remember that he had once lived in it. He was almost too scared to ask her, but he had to- she knew him better than anyone; what was his legacy? What should he be remembered for? 

“The guy that saved my life.”  Felt like he’d be shot clean through when she said that. How the fuck was he supposed to live up to that? He was the one fucking killing her. 

“You don’t know how much I want that to be true, V” He’d surprised himself with how true that was. Of course from day one he had to care about what happened to V, they were sharing a body after all, but she was just some gonk merc. Now? Well you couldn’t live in someone’s head for this long and not root for them even if they were fatally empathetic. 

He’d fucked that up too though, or so he thought, but against all odds she’d given him a second chance. Maybe that shouldn’t have surprised him since V was almost always willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. It was the kind of thing he hated in her at first. He didn’t understand how someone so naïve could survive in this city, but V wasn’t naïve. She did these types of things eyes wide open, one hand outstretched and the other on her weapon. V wanted to help people, plain and simple as that, and while it was insane, Johnny couldn’t help but admire it a little; his gonk, idealistic, little Nomad with her sense of honor and family. 

V rolled over in her sleep so that she was on her back now, her arm stretching above her head. Johnny grinned at the sight of the tattoo he’d gotten her. She had claimed to be furious about it, but she hadn’t removed it and once the initial anger had passed, he’d caught her shaking her head at the irony of it. Like it or not, they were in this together. 

He moved from the window and went to sit on the bed. She looked so small, so fragile, so tired. V was sleeping longer and longer since the last major malfunction. It was easy to look at her and think nothing was wrong; she was, when she wasn’t coughing up blood, pretty good at hiding it. Seeing her like this though, when her guard was down, he could see the toll the chip was taking on her. She didn’t think it about herself, but she really was strong.  “I’m not going to fuck this up again, V, promise,” he muttered. 

He really hadn’t meant to hurt her with his night out; he just wanted a little fun. Why did his brand of fun always end up hurting someone?  He crawled to the back of the bed and laid down, his flesh arm behind his head and metal one across his stomach. Maybe it wasn’t too late to change things. He’d been sort of given a second shot at life, more than most at any rate, and he’d have to be an idiot to waste it. From now on, he’d do better. He’d try to fix what he could, starting with Rouge. Not only had V given him a second chance, but she’d agreed to call Rouge. 

Johnny wasn’t sure if she really would give him control again though. When he pointed that out, she suddenly seemed a lot less excited by the idea, but she had agreed nonetheless. 

“Tomorrow,” she promised. “I’m exhausted and Rouge needs space. I’ll call her first thing tomorrow.”  She didn’t have to call at all though, and there was fuck all Johnny could really do about it, if she wanted to, but he believed she would. Something changed between them out there, they had... fuck, an understanding now? Maybe that line that had divided them was blurring or gone all together. Who the fuck knew anymore? The whole situation was fucked sideways. 

Speaking of fucked sideways, what the fuck was he going to say to Rogue? 

Next Part: Overthinking

[hustlemeanokay]

Vega's Interview - The People You Know Pt 7 - Final

[Takes place right before or shortly after PNR] Your thoughts on...

Hanako Arasaka, Saburo Arasaka and Yorinobu Arasaka

Okay, I thought long and hard about this one. About what I would say on this because I knew that they'd come up. So, okay, you ready. -sits up a little straighter, cups hands around mouth to amplify sound- FUCK. ALL. THEM. BITCHES. Two down, one to go, I say.

Sandayu Oda

Dunno where he is now, hope he got Goru out, maybe... they split off into... fucking ninja land or somethin'. Maybe got their own version of a happy ending. Dude was wicked fast.

Alt Cunningham

Scary... big... red lady. Just... -gestures above his head- big. Now she's bigger. Like... there was this Goddess, I think... she used to eat people? Kind of. I mean, was it her... or was it... hell, I don't know. Read it in a book somewhere. Point is. Where ever she is, no matter what I think about her, I owe her. Hope she never calls to collect.

Panam Palmer

Panam. When I first found out that I was dyin'... I was pissed. Angry. Who wouldn't be, right? I had a real - fuck the world - attitude. Didn't give a shit if the next gonk took me out, fuck'em. Today, tomorrow, didn't make a shit difference. And I know she'll chase me around camp with this fucking thing if she ever reads it but... I had fucking given up before I met her. No foolin'. But... I saw her and... all that anger inside of me just kind of... twisted itself around into pure, unadulterated, fight. Suddenly... I wasn't okay with divin' head first into shit without thinkin' things through. She said jump, I said how fuckin' high, Panam? Caught a lot of shit over it, too. But I didn't care then and I don't care now. Lovin' someone is lovin' all of 'em, every single part. No matter how flawed... or how rough. She looks at me and it feels like lightning goes... right fuckin' through me. And I don't think that'll ever change. Sometimes, I can't believe this is real. From a nightmare to a dream. And she did that for me. She'd scoff at that, say I was being a big ass gonk. But she'd get a small smile on her face. She may not pour her heart out or weep or any of that prissy shit. But she makes sure I know where she stands. All the little things she does... small things like... savin' me the last seat at the table. Stuffin' a sandwich in my pack when I head out, even if it's all squished... callin' back to camp when she's not gonna make it back in time... pulling herself tighter against me when she thinks I'm asleep. All these things she does to tell me she loves me. Fuck, I hate the idea of leaving her here when I go. Nothing else scares me more than that. And nothin'... nothin' else hurts more than that. I see the hope in her eyes when she talks about Tucson and it just… shreds, ya know. Sometimes I think… maybe I should have just kept my distance. Saved her from this. She’ll probably pop me one for sayin’ that.

and finally, Robert John Linder aka Johnny Silverhand

Johnny Fuckin' Silverhand. God what a fucker. A piece of work. One second, he acted like a total piece of shit, a son of a bitch. The next... he'd be my rock. I hate how it had to go down. If I had known that the end result out here was gonna be the same then... fuck, doesn't matter. I just hope that he knew how I felt. I think he did. Sometimes, I'll still wake up sharp, seeing his face above me, feel his hand on my shoulder as he pushed me down into that well, tellin’ me to keep fightin’. So many people thought they knew him. Rogue, Kerry... even Alt. And ya know what? None of them did. They didn't know shit. It wasn't his memories that let me know him. It was the echoes. His feelings... his thoughts. Knowing how much it hurt him to hear people call him an asshole. Knowing how... he was mean, angry because he was so fucking scared all the time. Scared of fading away, of being forgotten like so many of them guys were when he went to war. Hell, even he couldn't remember their faces anymore. Scared him shitless. And it made him angry, which made him mean. Made him drink, do pills, drugs, whatever he could. Just to try and chase the shadows away. It never worked. He'd start getting close to someone and then push 'em away as cruelly as he could. If he hurt them, they couldn't hurt him. Fucking gonk logic. But one that still rolls around the face of the earth and probably always will. He didn't even love Alt, not really. It was his own short-comings that made him set that chain in motion, hating himself for letting it happen and then later, for doing something so fucking stupid. Better to burn out than fade away. And now, no one knows who he was. That hurt him the most. But I sure as shit will never forget him. I hope he knows that, wherever he is.

[moved-attre]

Rewriting Cyberpunk 2077 into a bullet point list! LET’S GO!

(Disclaimer: I’m trying to be realistic. So no, “every single detail of the game changes based upon every single choice V makes” but just things I expected in an RPG from an AAA company in 2020. I take a lot of inspiration from the old trailers, and rumors of pre-2018 development.)

And this is really long, too. Sorry. 😜

Okay, so first off: Act 1 generally goes off the same as it does in canon. I’m open to other ideas, but I don’t think it’s a bad starting point. I do think V and Jackie should have had more time together, doing smaller jobs until Dex calls. Like, there should’ve been side jobs that were only available in Act 1. You have to get a minimum of 5 street cred before you get the conversation with Jackie about Dex.

The heist still goes to shit; Yorinobu kills his father, Takemura rebels against him and Arasaka factions split. V inserts the chip into their head, Jackie still dies and Dex shoots V in the head. Takemura rescues V, kills Dex, V wakes up in Vik’s and is told they have 4 months to live. (2 weeks is not enough!)

On to Act 2! The origins actually affect the game, so there’s three versions of it you can play. (Some things happen regardless of the origin, though.) For example: Corpo V has contacts in the Corpo world and pursues leads about the Relic there through their old friends. Street Kid V has contacts in the gangs, like the Valentinos or Maelstrom, who have dirty dealings with corporations and can get V in on Arasaka knowledge, Nomad V has leads out in the badlands about the corporations and gets in that way, hijacking transports to get some info. All origins can work with the corporations (like Hanako’s branch of Arasaka, Militech, Biotechnia, etc.) or against them. Like, the point is to snoop around the corporations and dig up some dirt on the Relic and Yorinobu’s Arasaka branch specifically but each origin goes about it differently?

Maelstrom vs Meredith Stout choice actually matters. It’s one point in a subplot I mentioned above, where V continually makes choices on whether they’re gonna side with the corporations or the gangs/people of NC against Arasaka in order to be rid of the Relic. Also affects V’s relationship with Johnny. You can also have a real, long term relationship with Meredith if you pick her side and get Militech support, or count on Maelstrom to help you in the main plot against Arasaka. Both sides will still attack V if they poke their nose in, meaning random encounters can still happen.

^ The subplot is like, making a deal with the devils (The corpos) or... other devils (The gangs). One person objectively could say one is better than the other, but they’re both awful. Night City is kind of rotten to the core, and V’s problems can’t be fixed by a pursuit of justice. V can still be a good person in either case, and it’s still kept kind of punk by going against the head honchos. I think this more suits the “Wake the fuck up, Samurai. We have a city to burn.” quote because V is churning up a path to the top, even if their methods are purely selfish. V themselves can be uninterested in righting wrongs, but they kind of turn NC on its head by challenging Arasaka so changes come anyway.

Point, is you fuck everything up either way. THEN, V can choose whether to trust the corporations and work with Hanako to “change the system from within” without disrupting people’s day-to-day lives (short term good choice I suppose?) or to let the gangs rise up and cause total anarchy. (long term good? since the downtrodden are rising up and maybe there shouldn’t be absolute power in the hands of a few.)

T-Bug doesn’t die. V thinks she’s dead, but sometime in Act 2 gets an anonymous call and meets up with T-Bug. She went underground after the botched heist, and isn’t eager to work with V again. Maybe you do a few missions with her, and she comes around? Or you fuck up and never hear from her again. I imagine she’d love to poke around at the Relic, if V helps her.

Giving Jackie’s body to Vik has real consequences. If you give his body to his mother, you attend the ofrenda and get his bike, his mom allows you to use his den as a place to stay... It’s basically the ‘good’ choice, if you care about the characters. If you give his body to Vik, you unlock a side mission where Arasaka steals his body to find the relic. You have to go and find it but it was destroyed(?) at some point by Arasaka. You can get his pistols (Which are, aside from Johnny’s pistol, the best weapons in the game. I don’t get why they aren’t in canon...) in this route and whole lotta angst, so his mom basically hates you because she blames you for not being able to bury her son and the bar is off limits. No getting the bike, either.

More content involving Alt Cunningham. V still witnesses the scene with her and Johnny, her kidnapping and death. But, Ghost AI Alt allows V to look into Alt’s memories for information on Mikoshi. V accidentally accesses some more personal memories. We can see Alt as more of a fleshed out actual person, not just a tragic backstory for Johnny. Some of the memories do involve Johnny, and the tone is very different from her perspective. We see that Alt has genuine affection for him, but Johnny is possessive and abusive... It’s far from the relationship Johnny recalls. Of course, Johnny can see all this too since he lives in V’s head. He and V have a heart to heart afterwards, with Johnny realising how badly he treated Alt and yeah. I wasn’t satisfied with how Alt was just used as a sob story for Johnny, but I was sent an ask by an anonymous person about how the memory was from his perspective and thus biased. It really got me thinking! If I was more creative, I’d come up with a way for Alt to live... But Johnny still needs to bomb Arasaka and Alt’s death was the reason why he did that.

You have to return one of your apartments/safe houses every few days to wash and sleep. If not, V will get a penalty that means they are less accurate when aiming and slower when breaking in a vehicle. Also some NPC’s will refuse to talk to you if you don’t bathe, because... stinky.

And you have to eat! Otherwise you get hungry, and get penalties for that too. Can’t concentrate on an empty stomach. I’d say eating once or twice a day would be enough.

Instead of fast travel points (that are supposed to be taxi services, I think...? But we never see a taxi! And why can’t we just call Del? Ugh.), V takes the metro. There are side missions that can sometimes only start once you get on or off of a train. (You meet NPC’s in the train, or waiting for one.)

Takemura and Johnny are romance options, and are available for all genders. They’re the most difficult to romance, with some (kind of obvious) dialogue choices ending the possibility. Like, for example: Takemura’s romance ends badly if you choose to go against the corporations, and Johnny’s ends badly if you go with the corporations. It’s the same with Meredith, essentially, in that going against her won’t allow you to romance her. I know a rival-mance system is possible, but I think that might be too complicated.

Takemura and V’s relationship is much, much deeper. They have more time together, and grow closer. Takemura trains V in combat, and takes over from Coach Fred in the street fights side missions. You go with Takemura to fights, he’s your coach, is very proud when you win. (He’s basically training V in the event that they have to take on Adam Smasher and Oda. Like, why did we have no training montages with Takemura?!) V is able to choose romance or stay friends with him. There’s plenty more missions with Takemura too, mainly espionage stuff against Yorinobu. Finding out his weaknesses, replacing his staff with people that are loyal to Hanako, digging for dirt on him. Lots of stake outs, hehe. 😉 Romance!™️ Also makes it that much more tragic if V doesn’t choose to trust the corporations, since Takemura will end things and leave NC.

There are garages to upgrade your cars but Panam can upgrade it further if you do her missions + befriend her, and you can find super secret parts for your cars that Panam needs all around NC by stealing them from gangs or Corpos! Like, make your car go 200 mph fast or a setting to make it hover. 😎

FOUND FAMILY TROPE... Involving the LI’s + more characters. I wanted Misty, Vik, Judy, Panam, River and Kerry to all know each other and be friends. Also, somewhere for them to hang out. Judy coming down and hanging out with Misty and Vik would’ve been so cool.

Missions involving Vik. I think he deserved his own personal missions. Also, he’s gotta be romanceable! I’ll add more to this later.

I’m still figuring out how Johnny’s romance would go. It’s a tricky one. Lots of tension, jealously if V flirts with anybody... Heart to hearts... Holding hands... Passive aggressive confessions of love...

River is introduced in the main story. Maybe you team up to hunt down somebody who knows stuff about the Relic, like Anders Hellman, or something else to do with it. River’s like “What the fuck is going on?” but V doesn’t really tell him. Then, of course, you meet him later on and recognise him in the BD given to you by Jefferson.

Meeting Kerry earlier in the story, say mid Act 2? Ideally there would have been 5 Acts, and maybe I’ll edit this to include more once I figure out how the story could have gone. AND he’s part of the main story.

Less generic, “get in, get item and get out” side missions from Fixers and more side missions like the Peralez’s and that guy who got crucified. More freaky Cyberpunk subjects like what constitutes a soul, what is “intelligence” (What makes a machine different than a human? Without shitty false racism analogies), human rights abuses (and in that: classism, racism, ableism, transphobia), pollution, more on “Cyberpsychos” and how harmful that term is, etc. Nauced and thought-provoking. Reminding us that this is a dystopia and the issues are different but not all that wildly so from today. I would’ve developed Brendan’s mission more, because it seemed like we were going to see an earnest discussion on Artificial Intelligence but instead it was just confusing and “Haha, tricked you!” 🥱 Like, what if he really was a person capable of free thought and emotion? And that company still owns him and can overwrite him? Isn’t that fucked up?! It didn’t need a happy ending, just something to unnerve me.

Adding to that, Delamain had plenty of opportunities to discuss AI and the rights of individual contructs. His “children” could be freed, but nothing really happens as a result? I wanted consequences! The emails about human staff being made redundant because of Delamain were so interesting, too. I wanted to see something about the consequences of that in a city with no basic universal income. What happened to them? What can be done to help people who are made redundant by machines? So many possibilities for truly emotional and scary side missions!

I’m gonna watch black mirror for more inspiration, but stuff like the IRL blocking feature? Freaky as hell and totally plausible. Would’ve loved if one of the side missions involved V getting involved in some dispute involving something like that. “I can’t see his face!” or the copyright stuff about people’s appearances! Imagine if there was a Johnny lookalike? Engram Johnny would either find it hilarious or get really pissed off.

I’m hoping the DLC will deliver on more Takemura, so I’ll hold my breath for critiquing the Arasaka ending.

More to come! I’ll probably edit this later, if there’s any mistakes and/or I realise I hate an idea hehe.

[sephiwhore]

Ok but literally all the cyberpunk oc questions? LETS GO CHOOM!!! -thosetwistedtales

Bet you didn’t think I’d actually do it >:3 Okay well I technically didn’t, I did skip some of them cause I couldn’t think of anything, I’d already answered it, or the answer was just “no”.

Without further ado I present, All The Questions about Tess, answered under the cut!

— BASICS

full name: Tess Valere

birthday: She has no idea, and for most of her life she didn’t even know birthdays were a thing

gender and pronouns: Female, she/her

nicknames or aliases: V (obviously), her surrogate brother called her Tessa

sexuality: a big ol bisexual

ethnicity: a big ol white girl

affiliations [corporation/gang/themselves/etc]: she grew up on the streets of Heywood, so certain Valentinos would help her out now and again. She’s nowhere near loyal to them, but she’ll try to avoid killing them during jobs

what languages do they speak?: English, conversational Spanish, and she knows a handful of Japanese words

— PERSONALITY

alignment: Chaotic Good, but she dabbles in Chaotic Neutral

color(s) you associate with them: cyan and black and after Johnny comes into her life, red

theme song: Unbreakable by Fireflight

what heavenly virtue would you assign them? Humility

what deadly sin would you assign them? Wrath

what is their biggest strength? Sheer fucking perseverence, mostly fueled by spite

what is their biggest fear? Losing the people she loves, because throughout her life those have been few and far between and she’s lost a good number of them

what is their biggest weakness? Again, the people she loves

are they confident in their abilities? Oh you bet your ass she is, so confident that she stormed Arasaka Tower with nothing but her revolver and her cyberdeck

what is their opinion on cybernetics? They’re a necessary evil. Her brother dealt with cyberpsychosis so in a way she resents cybernetics, but she also knows that you won’t get far as a merc in Night City without a few implants

do they have a good sense of humor? Yes, very dry and sarcastic

how do they cry? When she cries it’s either from rage or panic, very little in between

how do they laugh? Quite subdued, usually the most you’ll get out of her is a hearty chuckle. Very rarely does she go into a full laughing fit

do they smoke? She started smoking after Johnny popped up in her head cause she felt bad for his situation (after she stopped hating him anyway) and figured she could give him this one thing. And now she smokes like a chimney.

do they drink? She’s been dealing with alcohol dependence and borderline alcoholism for half of her life

what kind of drunk are they? As she drinks more it progresses from pretty chill, then VERY affectionate, and then Fightey

do they take any drugs? She knows how she is with alcohol so she avoids drugs like the plague

— COMBAT

preferred weapon: For close/mid-range, a nice beefy revolver (Overture) or Johnny’s Malorian. Long range, a sniper rifle.

combat style [stealth/melee/brute force/etc] Depending on the environment, it’s either stealth with a silenced pistol and lots of quickhacks, a John Wick style headshots-galore shootout, or sniping from a distance

primary stats [ex: intellect] Intelligence and Reflexes

biggest weakness in combat: She sometimes forgets to watch her back, and tends to ignore injuries and see the fight through when retreating would probably be the best course of action

threaten or charm? Depends on the target, she’s great at both

lethal or non-lethal? For corpos, the more malicious gangs (Tygers, Animals, 6th Street), or anyone who has hurt innocents, full lethal. If she’s just infiltrating a warehouse full of workers, non-lethal

leave quietly or send a message? She sends a message WHILE leaving quietly

strategy or improvise? Improvise

— APPEARANCE

hair style and color [is it natural? do they change it a lot?] She has synthhair so she can change the style and color at will (I have no idea if that’s how it actually works but I say it is) but she usually sticks to come kind of short sideshave/undercut in some shade of blue.

eye color: Natural eye color is green, but she usually has black scleras with a red circle

height: I had her at 5’8 until yesterday when I realized ya know what, I want a tall girl. So she’s 6 feet.

describe their body type: Skinny, small tiddies, but still fairly curvy

describe their style: Dark colors, leather jackets, lots of boots (also Johnny’s tank top and aviators)

do they wear makeup? Very smudgey eyeliner. Her upper lip is tattooed black and she usually leaves the bottom one bare

tattoos? any significant ones? Lots of tattoos that I haven’t figured out yet, except fir a modified version of the Valentinos neck tattoo, the V being to honor her brother Ven (she took on the name V to honor him too)

scars? Random ones here and there from random gunshots, stabbings, and other work-related injuries

piercings? A bunch that I can’t remember off the top of my head

cybernetics? Gorilla arms, the charge jump ankle ones, eventually she gets synth lungs as a preventative measure cause of the whole smoking thing

— FAVORITES

favorite place in night city: The streets of Heywood because they’re home to her, despite all the awful memories growing up. After Johnny comes along, she starts to like high places, and she loves to hang out on the patio outside Kerry’s house

favorite tv show and/or movie: She loves horror movies, except ghost one cause she doesn’t believe in ghosts so she just finds them dumb

favorite vehicle. do they prefer cars or motorcycles? Vastly prefers motorcycles, she hasn’t really driven a car much since she was a teenager. Her favorite is Jackie’s Arch.

favorite food: She sees food solely as a source of fuel, she will eat whatever is easiest

favorite drink: Tequila

favorite song: Black Dog :3

favorite type of weather: She LOVES the rain (but the water kind, not the acid kind)

favorite radio station: Vexelstrom, and then Morro Rock cause Samurai :3

favorite pastime: Working out, shooting ranges, Jackie and Vik got her into occasional boxing

— RELATIONSHIPS

what are their parents like? what kind of relationship do they have with your character? She had no memory of her parents and assumes they’re both dead

do they have any other family members? what kind of relationship do they have? She has a “brother”, who she knew only as Vendetta (or V). He found her on the streets and took her in when she was 10, and raised her from then on until he “died” 12 years later. Their relationship was great, despite the fact that he was not a very nice person to everyone else but her. 

who is their closest friend? Of course Jackie, and then Kerry (and Johnny ofc)

who are their other friends if they have them? Nope! :D

what are their exes like? any significant ones? She’s never really had a serious relationship, mostly just flings and acquaintances-with-benefits

are they in a relationship? with who and how is it going? Johnny! And it’s uh. Well, ya know.

who are their enemies? She has a passionate hatred for whichever corpo makes cyberpsychosis medication, and for Max Tac cause she sees them as responsible for the loss of her brother. And of course Arasaka.

have they ever lost anyone important to them? Her brother, Jackie, Johnny

would they betray their own morals for their loved ones? Abso-fucking-lutely

have they ever sacrificed something for someone they care about? if so, what? In one of my two canons for her, she gives Johnny her body

— BACKGROUND

where did they grow up in night city? if not from night city, where are they from? The streets of Heywood, then in a shitty apartment in Heywood

how would you describe their childhood? Miserable

were they well-off, poor or somewhere in between when growing up? After Ven took her in, they did have an apartment but because he needed monthly baloperidol (cyberpsycho meds) injections, they were quite poor

what kind of education did they receive? The only real education she ever got was “how to shoot a gun”

what is the biggest lesson they learned growing up? Everything and everyone in the world is going to try its best to destroy you. Destroy it first.

what is their happiest memory? A few weeks after Ven took her in and and it finally hit her, this was real, she had a home, someone that cared for her, and she never had to go hungry again,

what is their most painful memory? Watching her brother, in the middle of a psychotic break, being gunned down. After that it would be saying goodbye to Johnny (in the canon where that happens)

have they kept any meaningful mementos from their past? One of the revolvers she owns was given to her by her brother, and all of her piercings and a couple of her tattoos were done by him so they’re mementos, in a way

is there anything they would change about their past? She would do anything to save her brother.

[trashcatsnark]

NGL I love how much you have embraced the silverv stuff here - its so nice to read. I submit for consideration, Rogue notices the tattoo while on the disaster date and both Johnny and V play it off as a joke and holy shit poor rogue stuck in a room with two morons.

Also - V getting dressed for that date and realizing they just MIGHT be a little jealous with a side of some thoughts of "Oh God Johnny Would NEVER Feel That Way About Me Gotta Bury This Deep So He Doesn't Know"

Johnny notices the anxiety but is very dense about the cause.

Oh hell yeah, I have fully embraced it and this ship; I was writing SilverV porn before the game came out, like I knew what my ship for this game was gonna be from the second I saw gifs of

“You’re a dick, Johnny” 

“And you’re a cunt, so maybe we’ll fit together after all.” 

That banter sealed my fate and I’m fairly sure I had named and created my V then wrote porn of her with Johnny literally a week later. The devil works hard, but my brainrot works harder and faster. 

Spoilers! 

Okay, so I’ve thought a lot about that date in both a silverv context (and largely how it fits with my V, Aidan and her fic) I’ll try to stay general though. 

Firstly, I whole heartedly believe Rogue sees through their bullshit. Not only is she just good at that, but Johnny even states she has MRE’s (?) and can see through people, like her eyes can pick up on signs of lying. And usually, thats not an issue for when V talks to her, but when she asks about Johnny and their relationship with him. Its a mess. And when Rogue asks Johnny about it, its a mess. 

And when Rogue notices the tattoo it’s like Oh... I get it . And Johnny is of course like, “hahaha, yeah I thought that’d be so funny, the kid hates it.” But Rogue isn’t stupid, she knows a lovey dovey heart with their names, something that looks like someone doodled it on their third grade notebook about their crush, is not really typical of Johnny’s “joking” She knows that if Johnny is not really the kind of guy to hahahaha its so funny to make it look like we love each other; he’d be more likely to get a dick tattooed on V’s arm if it was just to mess with them. For gods sake, look how many people didn’t pick “the other one” because they were convinced it was gonna be a dick. That’s a Johnny just trying to fuck with someone move. So, she doesn’t buy it, but doesn’t push it...with him. 

She asks V about and of course they play it off as “Yeah, Johnny thought it’d be funny, what a fucking asshole, its so fucking dumb, I totally fuckin hate it.” 

“So, why not get it removed?” 

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh, well you see what had happened was, um, I, just uhhhh, never been enough time, I guess yeahhhhhh.” 

Cause lets face it, in cyberpunk universe, getting a tattoo removed should be easy. If you can get blades in your arms and can have a completely newly reconstructed body in like an afternoon; you can get a tattoo removed in like twenty minutes. So, V still keeping it, says volumes about how they really feel.

Now, V’s jealousy and the date. 

I do absolutely agree that any anxiety or ill feeling V might have up until the date; Johnny is gonna feel, but not realize where it’s coming from. I think if anything, he’s gonna chalk it up to V being anxious about giving him control again and he’s gonna be like worried that maybe V doesn’t trust him as much as they let on. 

And I do think a V who has feelings for Johnny, would not be able to help feeling some jealousy regarding Rogue and Johnny. Just because jealousy is natural thing to feel and while you can debate if they were ever a good or healthy couple, you can’t debate they shared very real feelings for one another. And I think a lot of V’s jealousy would come from just how much Johnny seems to first think of/go to Rogue. When he needed to save Alt, first person he turned to, Rogue. When he wanted to bomb Arasaka tower (going by his memory of it and ignoring that the event was probably actually planned by Morgan Blackhand), who’d he go to? Rogue. When he becomes determined to get Smasher, who is he determined to get him with, Rogue. When he first decides to atone for his past mistakes, who’s the first person he wants to make up with, Rogue. When at the rooftop, who does he want to go grab to help him save V, Rogue. 

If you got feelings for someone, that’d hurt, I think it’s impossible for that not to spark some jealousy. And V if anything is also mad at themselves for having those feelings, because they like Rogue, she’s a badass, a legend, they respect the hell out of her. And of course they have feelings for Johnny and they wanna help him make shit right and they wanna give him a chance to enjoy himself. But this stupid reptilian part of their brain is screaming but i want to be the first person he goes to, the first person he thinks about, which they know is also stupid cause for fucks sake the man literally lives in their brain, they’re as close as two people can be and literally when Johnny has the power to go to someone for something, he can’t go to V because they’re reduced to sleeping essentially until Johnny hands back the reigns. Yet, feelings aren’t aren’t always, rational, sadly. 

And to Johnny’s credit, he probably doesn’t even give it that much thought. Rogue is a badass, someone he cares for, someone he can depend on and someone he hurt really badly. The two people he can and always has been able to depend on the most (other than Alt prior to her death) have been Kerry and Rogue. And, bless his heart, the fuck is Kerry gonna do? Kerry ain’t a merc, Kerry isn’t gonna bust into Arasaka Tower or plant a bomb. Kerry doesn’t have the connection to Smasher. So, of course, Rogue is gonna be his go to. And in terms of making things up to people...he literally cannot really do much to make things up to V, not the way he can for Rogue or Kerry. Cause, when him and V are both conscious, he can’t do much beyond touch and talk to them. Hell, even with Rogue and Kerry, he relies mostly on V to help him do anything. Even with people he can interact with and do something for; V is doing all the nitty gritty work for him. V drives Rogue to the theater, V breaks into the theater, V gets the projector going. V breaks into Kerry’s house, V disables the security. V gets in contact with Nancy. V gets Nancy out of Totentanz in one piece. 

Which probably if V actually thought about it critically, does mean he’s going to them and relying on them more than Rogue, but they’d probably dismiss it out of it being for necessity and not because he cares about them and feels he an depend on them. 

Anyhow, Johnny would probably love to do some nice gesture to make up for his bender to V, hell they probably were the first person he wanted to make things up since they are his catalyst for changing. But what feasibly can he do for them? Anything he’d want to do with/for them, would just be asking V go do this thing and i’ll also be here. Anything that would put them in public interacting is out, unless they want MaxTac called on V for looking cyberpsychotic. He can’t even do an at home date, because he can’t cook (engram or not) and he can’t buy them anything nice he has no money and also doesn’t technically exist. He could try to do so sneakily while he’s in control...but he’d be using V’s money so they might as well just buy it for themselves. he can play music for them,,. but that doesn’t seem too special and more than a little egotistical to think it’ll make V feel better about what he did... So... all he can really do, is prove he’s worth trusting by being on his best behavior and more importantly do what he can to save V’s life. 

Then there’s the date. And as usual, I have some opinions and feelings about a thing.  Like, okay, I’ve seen some people (aka Gamer Bros on Twitter) being like, Rogue is Johnny’s girl. Wanting to date either of them is wrong because they like each other. (then you also get the BUT ALT crowd, but rants for another day.) And I can’t help but ask, did we play the same date? Their entire date is about how they’re both desperately clinging to the past. Rogue is trying to reclaim 2013-2023 Rogue and Johnny just wanting for a night to feel like the world and his place in it haven’t been completely rearranged. And it ends with Rogue telling him, she is not that girl anymore, she can’t pretend to be, and frankly she doesn’t want to anymore. She wishes she could be, wishes she was still that tall haired street punk who’d never dream of working with corps or being a fixer, but she’s not. Her and Johnny are no longer the same people who met back in to 2010’s. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about one another and doesn’t mean what feelings they had weren’t real or important; but they’re just not those people anymore. Rogue more so than Johnny since he’s freshly on the course of change.   

Something else in regards to the date, that I think is important to talk about and how it relates to silverv and its something I personally have very conflicting feelings about. The fact that Johnny can initiate some physical intimacy with Rogue. See, I have never chosen the option to kiss Rogue during the date and actually did not learn until relatively recently, that if that choice is made it goes a biiit further than a kiss. I have watched the scene now.

And god I have mixed feelingssss. Like, I get it, but I’m not sure I like it. And I know full well, my silverv bias impacts my feelings on the matter, it’s be disingenuous to say otherwise. But I don’t think the ship is purely my reason for having these feelings. But at the end of the day, its all opinions. So, I get from a character perspective that Johnny and Rogue are trying so hard to reclaim their past and what they use to have that they get caught up in trying do what they would do if this was the 2010’s. And Johnny’s relationships as we’ve seen are very physical, sexual chemistry and attraction are major factors in his relationships because he kept things very superficial most of the time. He even says part of the issue with his relationship with Rogue is at the time he didn’t realize he could let her see the true him and still hid behind walls, kept things at a distance. So, the idea that’d they fall back into the old habit of trying to just be physical and ignore their feelings, isn’t out of character. 

However, and Johnny even seems to acknowledge this issue when Rogue interrupts it, they’re doing this with V’s body. V...who did not consent to sexual contact. They consented to a date and while one could logic that this would mean everything a date could entail up to and including physical intimacy; I would argue that that is something that would need further conversation to have clear consent. And like again, this might come down to boundaries and personal feelings. Because I go back to the bender and what’s been interesting to me is too see different opinions on it; some people weren’t actually bothered at all by Johnny’s bender in V’s body, some people were bothered by the drugs and alcohol specifically cause their V is straight edge. Me, personally, it was the sexual content and the endangering of V’s life. Like, it was mostly funny and oh yeah, I expected that it’s bad but eh I’ll move on, to me, until he started getting sexual with people in V’s body. Like that to me is not just crossing the line, it’s catapulting over it. 

And like I said, Johnny even responds to Rogue’s “this isn’t fair” with “what, you mean it’s not fair to V?” which she says she meant it isn’t fair to Johnny. (Which viscerally upset because you nearly used V’s body for sexual gratification without their consent and you’re worried about Johnny, which tbf Rogue has no way of knowing what V has and hasn’t consented to, so its not on her but that was my knee jerk thought). So, he has some awareness that maybe that was a bad move. 

And yeah, it definitely to me and my V would be a very bad move (unless he explicitly talked to them beforehand and got consent). And in general, it made me feel like, dude, you just promised you’d be better and not break V’s trust but again not a day later you’re nearly using them to have sex. It felt like a backslide, which isn’t necessarily unrealistic, cause change and growth is not always linear, people can commit to changing themselves and still fuck up and not get it right; in fact it’s rare for them not to have any sort of backsliding or repeating of mistakes. 

Again, I will also give credit that he could have been assuming that given V consented to the date, they assumed or were cool with their being physical intimacy between him and Rogue. He also generally, might not have really planned for it to happen, because I don’t think Johnny plans a lot of anything. It very well might have just sort of happened. Also, V doesn’t clearly communicate if the sexual component was an issue in the bender. All V really seems to have an issue with in game is the very general thing of; he misled them and used them. So, he might have assumed that wasn’t ever an issue. And hell, if you wanna go full meta, the player is technically the one who makes that choice and V is largely an avatar for the player, so that alone could be seen as whether or not V would/does consent. 

But, from a story perspective, removing the player choice element. I think how that’s handled would have a huge impact on silverv and where it goes from there. 

Because if V and Johnny did talk about consent prior and V did consent while having feelings for Johnny, god I’d have to imagine they’d still feel pretty hurt, but feel it’s irrational to feel that way and have put their own feelings aside because clearly Johnny cares about and wants Rogue and they should ruin what could be his one chance to make things right. 

If there like in game was no talk of consent and Johnny ends up kissing and touching on Rogue and V finds out or has memories of it surface,that could be devastating for them. Not only from their own feelings for Johnny, but this since of betrayal and hurt. Was the oil field conversation just a lie? A manipulation? V might feel like they were used; that Johnny never gave a shit about them or how they feel. And Johnny would have to deal with the realization that intentionally or not; he earned back V’s trust just to destroy it again. He fucked up again, he ruined everything again, he got his second chance and destroyed it…. And he doesn’t know how, if he can, or if he should bother trying to ask for a third. In general, I do think, V would come out of the date assuming (naturally so) that Johnny really only has romantic feelings towards Rogue, that they’re just a friend at best, a host to be used at worse. I even in my own universe with my V have them after everything is better, everyones got a body, expects Johnny to start pursing Rogue and trying to swallow their own feelings and be a supportive friend, try to encourage and push him to do it and Johnny’s just like please stop, Rogue is this close to murdering us both.

I was gonna add more funny stuff to this and include a shitposty interaction he has with my V over them dressing up for the date and shit, BUT HOLY FUCK THIS GOT LONG AND SAD????? I’M SO SORRY.

[foofygoldfish]

odds for Thea :P

... i deserved that....

taken out any that i’ve already answered!

BASICS

1. full name

althea victorie vaughn!

3. gender and pronouns

cis female, she/her

5. sexuality

lesbian!

7. affiliations [corporation/gang/themselves/etc]

ex-corpo, works as a (low-level, lbh) merc, and eventually the aldecaldos.

9. faceclaim

elizabeth debicki!

PERSONALITY

1. alignment

chaotic good

3. tarot card

....i still don’t know

5. enneagram

...i don’t have the energy to actually do research and apparently i’ve been slacking on updating my masterlist and didn’t write this down so i’m gonna guess based on short descriptions: type 8/the challenger

7. color(s) you associate with them

gold!

9. five positive traits

can i skip this one

i always forget every single trait in existence when i get this question lmao

unless tall counts??

11.what heavenly virtue would you assign them?

diligence!

13. what is their biggest strength?

she can talk her way out of almost anything.

15. what is their biggest weakness?

pizza. not entirely sure if that’s a serious answer or not...

17. are they confident in their abilities?

her combat and tech ones? absolutely.

21. how do they laugh?

quietly, but with her entire body

23. do they drink?

yes

25. do they take any drugs?

not anymore?

APPEARANCE

1. hair style and color [is it natural? do they change it a lot?]

i keep flipflopping on this lkdsfj - currently she has ~ shoulder length hair, after growing it out from the pixie cut she had when she was still a corpo. 

3. height?

6′3, and johnny hates it.

5. describe their style

uuUH. i’m bad at that.

honestly, she’s not quite sure what it is - since leaving the corpo world, where she either followed the strict arasaka dress code or wore floaty, highly impractical outfits, she’s been... at a loss. she mostly wears loose shirts, leggings, and combat boots now, all in bright colors.

7. tattoos? any significant ones?

none until johnny happened, and he got the johnny + v one lmao. she doesn’t have the heart to get it removed or covered up after mikoshi. 

9. piercings?

none.

FAVORITES

1. favorite place in night city

lizzies, her apartment, and a hillside in north oak. mama welles place is up there, though - she has a lot of good memories with the welles family.

3. favorite tv show and/or movie

she likes the space dramas - not because they’re set in space, but because it’s just so different from life in night city.

5. favorite food

cup ramen. she knows it’s bad, she does. but she absolutely loves it.

7. favorite song

pain by the red glare! (...i catch myself singing along to this every time it comes on lmao)

and uh... don’t tell kerry, but while it’s not her favorite, she actually does like ponpon shit lmao

9. favorite radio station

radio vexelstrom!

RELATIONSHIPS

1. what are their parents like? what kind of relationship do they have with your character?

distant - she’s the second youngest of six kids, so between her other siblings and her parents jobs, she never really got close to them. her dad died before the game starts, and after she was kicked out of arasaka, her mom (and most of the rest of her family) cut off contact. thea... doesn’t really miss any of them (except for her aunt diana, cousin delia, and her baby sister, ariadne)

3. who is their closest friend?

jackie! after his passing, eventually panam takes his place.

5. what are their exes like? any significant ones?

yes.

she has them.

i still haven’t named them.

... naming people takes energy, okay? 

7. who are their enemies?

anyone associated with arasaka (takemura is an exception, though she still doesn’t exactly trust him), the raffen, scavs.... 

9. would they betray their own morals for their loved ones?

before leaving arasaka? nope. now? it... depends on the situation and the people.

BACKGROUND

1. where did they grow up in night city? if not from night city, where are they from?

she did! she was born and raised in charter hill. 

3. what are the reasons they chose that lifepath?

...her parents? it was simply expected that she joined either arasaka or her aunt’s company. 

5. who raised them?

her parents would say they did, but really - it was a series of nannies.

7. did they have any childhood pets?

nope. her parents thought that pets were too much work and too dirty - mr nibbles was her first one.

9. what kind of education did they receive?

she has a bachelors in [insert subject that is helpful for uh... whatever corpos do, hi i’m doing this out of order and i’m fading hard lmao] and was working on a masters degree when she left arasaka!

11. who is the most important person from their childhood?

her aunt, delia. 

13. what is their happiest memory?

her first dinner at the welles house - mama welles was so welcoming, and her and jackie felt like family.

joining the aldecaldos is a close second - she misses mama welles, but even considering the situation, she loves leaving the city with her found family.

15. have they kept any meaningful mementos from their past?

she has an old journal that her grandma gave her when she was little - she hasn’t written much in it, but every now and then she goes back and reads her old entries. she starts journaling again after leaving with the aldecaldos, but she tends to keep it on her laptop - it’s just not easy to keep a stack of journals with her, and with their solar panels, they usually have enough power for her to charge up.

[justawhimm]

you’re real

fandom: cyb//erp//unk 2077  

summary: a short time after ted's birth, kerry, louise, and kelvy all take a visit to north oak's columbarium.

chapters: 6/8

content warnings: mention of character death, general grieving

notes:  for the unaware: while not canon, within the cybergeneration lore for derry, derry died in 2026. I didn't think much in terms of canon ages and years for derry when I wrote the first two chapters, so they don't really line up with that canon. oh well! but yes, this was not just me killing her off for the sake of it, I knew this would be canon if I added her in this. :( so yeah. rip derry, she deserved so much better. also! the lyric used for derry's epitaph is from "the world spins" by julee cruise

Current Year: 2063 Kerry's Age: 75

cross posted on ao3

He lived so close to the columbarium, it was kind of inexcusable that it'd taken him this long to make his way there. Louise insisted it was ok. He was recovering, it was an emotional time. He just wasn't ready yet. She kept making excuses for him, and he really appreciated it. She made him feel like it would be easier with time.

But as it was getting to be almost two months post Teddy's birth, Kerry was becoming more and more anxious about it. It felt like he was avoiding the entire situation. He didn't want to face it in any sense, or really even give it any thought. This avoidance felt about as strong as his avoidance about the Johnny situation. It hurt too much, why did he have to face it? Why did he have to think about it anymore? Please, he just had a baby. Leave him be.

And that was what happened. He'd been left alone.

This time, Kerry felt like shit for it.

Kerry was the one to request they go to the columbarium with both his wife and children in tow. Louise didn't argue with him. She did the work of inviting Kelvy, to Kerry's relief. He wasn't sure if he would've been able to do it himself.

They planned on meeting there, visiting for a bit, and then going back up to Kerry and Louise's home to spend the rest of their time. A nice visit. A nice time together. Kerry could only hope he'd be able to handle it.

-

"I know, bud…" Kerry cooed down at Teddy as he made the careful movements to pull his carrier free from the car. Ted wasn't having the great of times already. He was huffy that the rhythms of the car had stopped. The exact opposite of Kelvy. She'd hated the car. Oh, his boy. Already so opinionated. "We'll come back to the car soon. We're just gonna go say hi to your sisters."

"There's Kel," Louise spoke up from where she was waiting on the pavement, holding the diaper bag just in case. Kerry raised his head up, where he'd spy so many other sets of eyes staring at them first. 

Don't do it, you fucks. This is a columbarium. Don't you get near him or his family.

He sent those staring a hard glare of warning, tightening his jaw and his grip on the bar of Ted's carrier. Shutting the car door, he finally averted his eyes and looked over toward Kelvy's car.

She was getting out of her car, her head of teal colored braids poking up just over the top. Straightening herself up and shutting the door, she circled around the front of her car. Now even more eyes were drawn to them. A legendary rockerboy and his media star daughter. A spectacle for the public to eye and behold. All he could hope was that these fools knew better than to approach any of them right now.

Kelvy's smile was strained. Attempting to stay strong for the day, just as they all were. She hugged Louise first, then moved on to her father to hug him before her gaze fell on her baby brother.

"Hi Teddy," she cooed, squatting down so she was at eye level with where Ted was settled in his carrier. "Remember me? You're gonna get so annoyed with me." Extending out her arm, she touched one of his tiny hands with her finger and pet the back of it. She would get her chance to hold and cuddle her brother later. For now, the mood stayed somber.

Pushing herself back up to stand, her eyes would lock with her father's. That strained smile reappeared. This was gonna be hard, they all knew it.

"Ready, Dad?"

"Not even a little bit…"

"Need us to take a minute?" 

Kerry shook his head. No, he'd be alright. 

"Thanks for bein' here, Kel," Kerry breathed out, his own eyes trailing down to his son. From the angle he held the carrier, all he could see of Ted was his little feet, covered up by his onesie.

"Wouldn't be anywhere else. Let's get these fuckers to stop staring, huh?"

Looking up again, Kerry saw that some were still staring. Others had either walked or looked away. Fucking vultures. With a sigh, Kerry nodded his head and started to finally step away from the car. Teddy was still whining, but he knew he was alright. Just being a pouty little boy. He'd feel better in Daddy's arms here in a little bit.

Exchanging the carrier into his left hand, Kerry offered his right to Louise once he made it to where she stood on the pavement. He was quietly thankful when she accepted it readily. Kelvy wasn't far behind, with both of them waiting for Kerry to make the move toward the columbarium first.

It would take a few moments for Kerry to get the nerve to. When he finally did, he felt as though he was on auto-pilot until he made it to the row she was in.

There were so many different niches around hers. Hell, it was in this same columbarium that Johnny and Alt both rested. An empty niche for Johnny, while he didn't know nor care about the state of Alt's. Neither of them mattered today, anyway. He stood in front of the specific niche they were visiting, staring at it with burning eyes. 

Derry Eurodyne [ Come back and stay. Forever and ever. ] 2007-2026

Even after all this time, it was hard to believe it to be true. He still had those times of having to remind himself that she was gone, and had been for so long now. He knew Kelvy hardly had any memories, if any, of her older sister. Now Teddy would have to live his life without her too. His heart broke for them both, for Derry's mother. He was never going to be able to bury the guilt, or even just move past it. 

He knew this would be a constant for the rest of his days.

"Hey, Derry…" Kerry finally managed to force out of his mouth. Louise and Kelvy both had been quiet, standing solemnly at either side of him. Letting his face fall, he'd instead look to his son. "I know, it's pretty wild. Your dad's this old 'n' still poppin' out babies," he joked, letting a fake smile spread across his face. "Didn't think it was possible either, but here he is." He carefully began to kneel down, unbuckling Teddy from his carrier. "Your baby brother. His name's Theodore, but Louise and I've been calling him Teddy."

Teddy let out a whine of discomfort as he was picked up out of his seat, with Kerry quietly shushing him a moment later. He kept his hold of him gentle, making sure he got him comfortable in his arms.

"Don't be like that, Teddy Bear. Gotta say hello to your big sisters. Especially Derry. Haven't met her yet." Standing himself up, he'd hold him so he could get a good look at the hologram epitaph. The projected image above her name and information was a picture of when she was still a little girl. Kyra had wanted it that way, and Kerry hadn't been willing to argue with her. The hologram wasn't even that great, but… well, too late to change things up now.

"Your little brother's pretty damn adorable, Derry. You'd probably love holding him. Like how you loved holding Kel. But, we're gonna tell him all 'bout ya. I know I've been-" Before Kerry could go on with what he was saying, his attention was swayed by a quiet little coo from Teddy.

The cooing wasn't terribly common just yet. Most of his noises were still just cries and grunts, but he did love it whenever he made those sweet little noises occasionally. Looking down to his son's face, he would see Teddy's wide eyes gazing up at the teal colored holograms. And then… a smile. 

Oh. Oh, shit. 

There'd been smiles before, he'd admit. They hadn't been totally voluntary before, though. Nothing gave indication that he was actually smiling at what he saw in front of him. Part of Kerry wondered if it was more of the same, or if he was actually doing this. So as the smile stayed for longer than a second, Kerry felt his eyes burning all over again.

He knew it wasn't because of Derry. He wasn't some silly, emotional idiot that was thinking too much about this. He knew it was probably because of the pretty light. Despite that, though, his eyes just couldn't stop watering.

"What is it, Dad?" Kelvy spoke up, since she was the only one able to see his face.

With a sharp sniffle, he'd gesture down toward Teddy with a nod of his head. Kelvy followed his gaze, hunching over slightly so she could see her baby brother's face. That smile was so clear as day, she didn't even really know what to say. With a gesture from Kelvy, Louise would lean over to see too. And she saw it. The sweet little smile on Teddy's face as he was looking into that teal light.

"Shit," Kerry breathed, feeling his voice shake. "...Happy ta see your big sister, bud?" A small chuckle bubbled out of him. "Or are you just mesmerized by that pretty light? Either way, you're cute as fuck, ya little bug." Kerry carefully adjusted his hold on Ted, turning him around and placing him up to his shoulder so he could embrace him the way he wanted to.

"She makes all of us smile too."

[altcvnningham]

1, 3, 5, 15, 18 and 20 😳😳😳😳

thank you for the ask!!! (also superior url omg 👁👄👁🤲🏻)

also my answers here are suuuuper long, because i’m a rambling idiot who’s way too involved in my OC’s. so uhhhh sorry in advance,,,,,

1. what radio station(s) do you listen to?

Vana’s a Samurai stan. She wishes she wasn’t. But, y’know, Morro Rock it is. Once upon a time when she was an even angrier teen, though, she’d listen to shit just like Ritual FM.

(My music taste is all over the place, and though blues is technically my fav bc i love old music, i never listen to it in 2077. So I switch between Body Heat, the Dirge, Vexelstrom for like 2 songs, and ofc, Morro Rock. But of all stations, there’s at least one song that i HATE so I can never stick to one for a whole ride sknsksjsjs)

i think i got the names right?? Idk yall i dont have it in front of me ndndndndhjs

3. how did you feel about Johnny that first night in the apartment, and how does it differ from what you feel now after everything?

so i’m gonna cut a read-more here because i decided to just lore dump Vana x Johnny here so uhhhhhh rip also //SPOILERS//

Vana is an extremely, seriously private, guarded person. Before Johnny, Panam, Kerry- Jackie was the only person she’d ever truly let near her, to get to know her. So obviously waking up to someone else living inside her fucking head was one of the worst things that’s ever happened to her. Her past is also something she’s not particularly proud of, so Johnny getting to witness all that is traumatising. Getting Johnny out of her head was priority number one, even if digging the chip out would kill her.

But after getting fucked over by the VBs, and both of them thinking she was gonna die, Johnny takes her to that abandoned hotel in Pacifica- it’s the first time he’s given her even a sliver of kindness, and the first time she’s ever openly expressed her fears to him, even if he could already sense them before. Oaths and promises are something she holds to incredibly high importance, so obviously when Johnny gives her his dog-tags, ‘proof of my promise’, she never, ever lets them go, never takes them off. (she still doesn’t. they keep her grounded. holding them to calm herself has become a reflex, for whatever reason.)

Everything just seemed to slowly change after that. For two people who hate vulnerability, it’s the only thing that helped them actually see each other. As the Relic continues to take over, they both understand each other more, feel each other more- and eventually it becomes hard to discern where Vana ends and Johnny begins. In cliché Johnny x V fashion like yeah duh it goes further,,,, cockwhore!Vana,,,,,, but with that they also start to become extremely possessive and jealous over one another- Johnny immediately on the defensive about whoever comes close to her, Vana selfishly hiding and keeping Johnny’s existence to herself, even if it slows the hunt for a remedy to the chip- to the point of seriously toxic co-dependency. It’s full of volatile ups-and-downs, fights and make-ups, and Vana almost comes to like the fact that she never has to explain nor hide what thoughts and feelings pass through her mind, no matter how dark or vulnerable. She prefers most things to remain unsaid, but values the fact that they both have a clear, transparent understanding of each other regardless.

But there's also... softer moments. When Johnny puts aside his ego for once, he learns to like the quiet that Vana does, brief as it can be sometimes. He'll sort of just... stay around the room, even if just to procrastinate retreating back into her head, because they realise they like each other's silent, wordless company. He'll wake her up from nightmares, hold her neck and kiss her back to sleep, or until the sun comes up, if she can't. It's all tender things they often pretend doesn't even happen, out of pride, I think, but they both know deep down that those are really the best parts.

Comes to a place where she suddenly hits a wall, and realises, I don’t want him to leave.

She’s never the same again after Mikoshi.

(But uhh anyway fuck V I’m horny on main for Keanu so i was here for the whole riiiiiide yeeeeeee)

5. how do your loved ones (LI, found family, etc) feel about you being a merc? or if you’ve given up the life now that everything’s finished, what was their reaction?

Vana grew up in a rich corp family, and after all the shit she’s endured just to appease her father, don’t think anyone could hate corps more than she does (some details of her past here!!) So when Arasaka kicks her out and Jackie finally convinces her to start merc work, it’s amazing how quickly she slips into the role, almost like she was made for it- an anonymous face within the city, free to roam and drift as she wants, relying on herself and herself only.

Vana works quickly and quietly enough (though not at all with clean hands), relying on stealth and netrunning, so she doesn’t cause too much of a noise that’d have her loved ones (rare as they are) all too concerned. Judy isn’t scared Vana’d be caught in gunfire, because when Vana works, her targets rarely know she’s even there. She’s smart, cunning. Panam appreciates that these skills have helped her out, so she can’t complain. River- who is unfortunately more fond of Vana than she is of him, given that she’s not too comfortable at accepting affection- isn’t too happy about the life she leads, but hey, it’s her skills as a merc and as one of NC’s most adept netrunners that he even stood a chance of finding Randy as quick as he did, so he feels indebted to her for that. Kerry thinks it’s fuckin awesome that she gets to do as she wants and provides for herself, bestieeees

Given she isn’t all that close with many people- keeping her distance and all- the only people who seriously worry about her are folks like Vik, Misty, and Mama Welles, especially the latter two, who knew how much Jackie meant to her, and how easily she cracks under the weight of grief. The only thing, really, that concerns everybody around her, is how insatiable her bloodlust becomes, and how much she'd throw away just to try and quell it.

Johnny’s just in it for the ride. Rather she work for herself than a filthy corp, anyway.

After Mikoshi, losing Johnny, making it to the major leagues, she fuckin... just doesn't care anymore. She hates the big glass house that was practically forced onto her (reminds her too much of her stifling corp childhood), she hates that she has 20 cars that clog up her garage and not just her trusty red Yaiba Kusanagi, hates that folks keep giving her all this shiny golden shit that she doesn't want, like any of it's worth a damn. Since then she's hardly in one place- never at home if she can help it, and either wanders aimlessly around the streets and crashes over at Kerry's to sleep through grief. It isn't the merc life she wants to leave, but major leagues turned out to be a glittering pile of dogshit she wants no part in. She only really stays there because Jackie would've wanted it.

(i’m a lazy bitch like i don’t wanna be a merc. i wanna be one of those cute npc’s with the glowy earrings and bunny backpacks and skimpy plastic skirts, who picks up noodles on the way home to go watch watson whore. in my ideal life i am NOT the main character snnsmsnsks)

15. which NPC is your bff?

Kerry. Kerry is Vana’s ride or die. No fucking questions asked. Kerry’s the only person (besides Johnny, i guess) as close to her as Jackie was. He’s really the only person that ever gets her to smile, like really, stupidly, goofily smile, and despite being almost complete opposites, they just understand each other so well. Whenever they need something, they're the first person they'll call. Happens so often that just as Vana sifts through her contacts to find his, Kerry's already calling for her first. They're practically joint at the hip.

They both live loud, fast lives, but also know how to make time for silence and introspection, something they both need to stay grounded. Vana doesn't buy into his zen-wellness-yoga crap, but sure, she tries copying a couple moves while he's doing it on a lazy afternoon, before scoffing how this is fuckin' dumb and retreats back to the couch. Also, as much as she hates being reminded of the wealth that came with her corpo upbringing, she loves using up all his expensive products, and tends to klep a bottle of his shampoo when she runs out. Cute how she thinks he doesn't notice.

After what happened in Mikoshi, she practically lives at Kerry's place, just dozing away miserably as he lounges by the pool, or curl up on the couch to mindlessly watch his old Samurai tapes (he doesn't like it much, but if it helps her through whatever shit she's going through, he's not gonna take that away from her). On better days, when she actually pulls herself out of bed, he teaches her to play guitar, slipping in a couple tricks Johnny taught him. Funnily enough, the whole thing helps him find some closure too.

( me,, I need a girl like Panam in my life to endorse all of my stupid ideas )

18. what’s your dream cyberware (either something that was shown in lore that wasn’t available in game or mental creation of your own)?

I don’t have access to the tabletop lore stuff rn so i’m gonna pull this out my ass jsjsns

Anything that helps Vana become more deadly at stealth and netrunning. The most eddies she’s ever blown are on increasingly powerful cyberdecks, cooling systems, netrunning gear she can comfortably slip on under a jacket and boots- she likes convenience and functionality, but she needs it to be comfortable, too. She’d fucking kill for anything that lets her scale silently up walls and across ceilings, though- like a spider- and anything that lets her get her hands reeeeal bloody, but quietly. Guess that’s just called a knife, though.

(Me?? Fuck uhhh man i just want synth-skin that looks normal but also shimmers all pink n cute. Literally wanna be an edward cullen sparkly lookin mf. Also, i’m sorry but scanning shit w Kiroshi’s are so dope that’s literally all i want?? Idk i’m boring and mantis blades freak me out uhh)

20. is there anyone you’re crushing on that’s unavailable? (yes this is the “what romance option(s) are you foaming at the mouth for” question)

Answered here :)

(And i’ll say it again, PLACIIIIIIIDE,)