#she just rambles a lot kjdnds

[slylittlewizard]

〈 continued from here. / with @cnradfisher 〉

a frown curves glossy lips, expressing the disappointment alex feels when she gets whatever he's going through really must be a serious thing. a really deep deep serious thing. "aw, come on." a sad pout. "what about the point of... banana splits? or chocolate cake? there's no point in even those?" she gently nudges with her elbow, trying in her playful best alex way to get him out of this rut. where was someone who knew the right things to say when she needed them? she's never had a talent for words. just quips and sassy comebacks were more her area of expertise when it came to how to say things. being vulnerable and living outside of her 'hard edge' facade, well... alex found herself helpless.

after a moment of studying his features, she eventually comes to the conclusion maybe that's exactly what she had to be. since, she didn't just want to leave him alone with whatever's bothering him so deeply. "i know what you mean." brunette blurts, wondering if it's a good idea to continue on or not. then figures it's too late for that so she continues on, "well, maybe not really? but in some sense, i think. like how... i try so hard to compete with my older brother who does-no-wrong and yet... i STILL always end up as the failure, the biggest family disappointment. the things my dad says really... hurts a lot.." she admits, to herself first probably for the first time ever AND then the other.

"but i keep trying," she softly stresses, "and so eventually... i too, get to rock bottom and feel like it's not worth it anymore. that i should just accept it, that maybe i am a failure. but a part of me knows i can't think like that, because it's not true. it's not true about you either, it's just those sad thoughts in your head making you feel that way." she has no idea when she got so chatty on just EXPOSING her entire feelings on how being treated by her family feels, but apparently there's something she can trust about him to blurt all that out & risk telling just to hopefully show she can understand where he is coming from even if she's trying to help make it better. "this isn't even about me," she knows when to not be selfish, which is why she's actually trying to help. "but that's why i'm telling you this. because you're not alone in that really horrible feeling." she explains, doe eyes staring at his side profile then comes a hesitant way of asking, "what... exactly happened, anyway?"