#she just rambled in that letter but she did send her wedding vows she had been working on

[darlingdearcst]

beatrice wrote a 200 page breakup letter in which she also included drafts of the wedding vows she had been working on her wedding with lemony

[enha-woodzies]

➸ CHAPTER 10 | " AT LONG LAST PT. 2 "

starring: enhypen ft. daniel

pairing: jungwon x fem!reader x sunghoon

genres: royal au, romance, angst, slowburn, 18th century setting

word count: 2.4k

taglist: @serendipitysung (betareader) @en-sun @affectionaterainoflove @renkiv @softforjungwoo @jislix @gyeraniee @fluffi @stxrryemxlys @jungwon-luv-bot-pt3 @lost-lepord-beanie @hyunsunge @hooniecore @thenoceurgirl @thonkingdeepo

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One of the strangest things about love is that it will make you feel rooted one moment, then wavered by the next; all by the person whom you treated like your resting place — only for them to be tired of you in their next waking day. In Jungwon’s case, he didn’t feel threatened by the marquess’ efforts to acquire his girl. Despite Y/n’s plead to stop the unlabeled thing going on between them, Jungwon refused to feel daunted. So he did what he does best: expressing his sentiments in the form of written words— the language of the unsaid.

The night Y/n ended things between them, Jungwon made a quick stop to their library to write down a few of the many things she did to him on the daily; it contained some of the uncountable things he wanted to say to her if she’d only listened. He poured out his heart, writing to the best of his ability with all the love and warmth she deserved, hoping his adoration would reach her if it wasn’t too late yet.

Crumpling away various parchments and scratching several more, he finally had it neatly tucked in between the pages of their favorite Jane Austen book she threw at him weeks prior. Before leaving the said book upon the large, round table in the center of the room, Jungwon topped it off with a little quote, once again, peeking from the worn-out cover of the antique novel.

“I will go if you need me to go, but bear in mind that I don’t want to leave. I have no other homeland but you. So I will patiently sit in the corner of your heart and wait for our time.”

If it weren’t for Jay’s knowledge about his friend’s almost parting gift, Y/n wouldn’t be rushing down their manor’s library with an eager yet tormented heart the day after. She immediately clasped the book, the repertoire of their precious memories and Jungwon’s poetic affection, the instant she saw it lying on the surface of her late father’s desk.

Y/n pulled out the tiny parchment with Jungwon’s last quote, putting down the book back on the wooden desk. She carefully muttered each word as if it was an ode, constantly bouncing in her mind back and forth.

Her heart found a bit of relief behind his written words, yet she still found it vague that he couldn’t face her and tell her himself. Y/n picked the book again and as she flicked through the pages, a small, handwritten envelope caught her attention. Her heart began to thump.

She gently tore the envelope open only to be welcomed by several folded papers brimming at the edge of the torn covering. Jungwon got her used to the underlined phrases and pieces of quotes, and almost nothing from Jungwon’s heart itself. And now suddenly, all the letters were about her, from the depths of her lover’s affection.

“Be still, my heart.” She whispered under her shaky breath.

My dearest Y/n,

We made quite a mess, don’t you think? Or rather, I did.

When I didn’t react to your efforts of reaching out,

I'm sure you thought I'd gone on or despised you.

I bet it never ever occurred to you that I just couldn’t

bring myself to say "hello" and risk another goodbye.

You wore your best dress that day we departed,

and you were there to watch me leave.

And all the times you let me in just for me to screw things up and leave again.

I’ve been trying to undo what I did to you by making amends.

I’m trying so hard, believe me.

Everything I said in the past and the phrases I underlined in attempts to confess to you,

They were all true.

I cannot stop thinking of you, my thoughts of you never end.

They’re so loud they prevent me from sleeping at night.

I’ve been restlessly rehearsing the words I’d tell you if time didn’t forbid.

But unfortunately, it appears that my time in your heart is up.

Truth be told, we were something, don’t you think?

I cannot shrug away the thought that we were nothing when

I could feel your calm breath against my heaving chest,

It felt like you were meant to reside there, in the warmth of my embrace.

I’m afraid I couldn’t bear myself to write more of these.

They don’t deserve to be kept in any longer.

If you still wish to talk to me and hear me out before giving your hand away,

Meet me in the Queen’s Garden at dusk tomorrow.

Jay has agreed to chaperone you there,

But he must leave us to ourselves when we reach the Catalpa tree.

Until then, I will remain in the state of waiting, for the last time.

— Forever yours, Jungwon

The awaited dusk came upon, and it was a shocker for Y/n that she rejected Sunghoon’s plea to spend the day together over an impulsive meeting with Jungwon. Jay helped lift his sister from the horse, firmly securing his grip on her corseted waist. Her heart was in a weary state; she feared it would be a cycle again of Jungwon acting out his affection and leaving her hanging when their moment’s up. She couldn’t trust him fully anymore, knowing he had recklessly wasted so much borrowed time and promises.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine? I can stay by the gazebo and wait for you.”

“It’s alright, Jay. Didn’t he promise you that he’d send me home? Ride safe, brother!”

Jay walked closer to her and draped his arm around her shoulder, planting a long, soft kiss on the crown of her head. “See you at home, sis.”

Y/n heaved a deep breath before taking baby steps towards the Catalpa tree where Jungwon had been lounging hours prior. With a heavy heart and romantic complications in mind, she stood in front of the lover she forced herself to detest; eyes never leaving his.

But Jungwon, being easily distracted by her tantalizing eyes, quickly averted his gaze to the grass he had been standing on. His confident stance stripped away though he mustered the courage to look at the beautiful pair, as the object of his affection gradually approached him.

“Why didn’t you come and talk to me yourself?”

“Would you have listened?” Y/n ran out of retorts as she was guilty enough, cutting Jungwon’s explanations that night in their garden.

The boy drew closer to her, softly lifting her resting hand to interlock it with his. “Y/n…” only to be shrugged away by the maiden.

“You must have gone crazy, coming here like this. Tell me, are you that desperate to impel your pride-”

“This is not about my pride! I-” Jungwon ran a hand through his hair as he let out a frustrated sigh, realizing what he just did. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice. It upsets me to know that you still think this is all for my ego, supposing you’ve read the letters I left you.”

“So you’ve been living in denial all these years?”

“I never meant to come between you and him.”

“Yet here we are. Someone’s caught in the middle, and it’s definitely not you, Jung.” The boy stared down at his worn-out boots, million-dollar thoughts running through his mind, yet he couldn’t find the ones he needed to say.

“Do you want me to start it off for you?” Y/n crossed her arms, trying her best to compose a cold approach to Jungwon, although the chap’s been looking unkempt like he hasn’t slept for days in every passing minute of their imminent bickering.

“Haven’t you gotten the letters?”

“I did.”

“Is there anything you want to say about it?” Y/n scoffed at the timid boy who was shattered by the lady’s callousness.

“You asked me to come here, Jungwon! All this time you’ve said nothing but a few words to me. Are you even serious right now?” She half-yelled in frustration.

“I’m trying to prevent myself from saying the wrong things.”

“You’ve barely been able to look me in the eye!”

“For the reason that I cannot bear witness to the misery I’ve caused you!”

Y/n gulped when she saw a tear grazing down Jungwon’s dimpled cheek. It was the first time she’d seen him cry in a long time, the last one being the day he left her for university five years ago.

“It pains me,” he stammered, breaths shaky as tears kept dripping down the grassy lawn. “It pains me to know that I’ve yet again, caused you another heartache. If there was anything I could do to bring back the hands of time, I would. I would do it in a heartbeat. If I could go back to when we were thirteen, on the exact day I left you for London, I would vow to you then and there that I will spend every lifetime with you when I get back.” Jungwon went on and on, eyes now fixated upon her sparkling orbs that reflected the full moon above them.

“But I was a stubborn, scared, idle bloke who’s now deserving of punishment. It’s long overdue, but I still think I deserve this, and I’m sorry. I’m tremendously sorry that it took your beautiful marquess to be caught in the middle of our mess for me to realize that you were my all and more. You are my all and more, Y/n. I couldn’t bear this any longer. My feelings will not be silenced this time, and I must let you hear of how I truly, madly, and deeply love you now more than ever. I’d hate myself for eternity if it came to the conclusion of having to lose the one real thing I’ve ever hoped for in this lifetime. If the mighty heavens don’t forbid us to love again, I swear I’d love you right.”

“Why are you telling me this now? You had all the chances, Jung. Why did it have to be in the most unsuitable moment where Mother and the Duke are preparing for the imminent wedding?!”

“Sometimes you don’t fully know the answer until someone’s breaking badly in front of you. I’m sorry, Y/n. But I’m here now, in all my glory, swallowing my pride, and laying my armor down if you choose to rather love than fight.”

Jungwon approached her. Too close until an inch of distance was left between them. His eyes had been watering with tears the entire time he was rambling his feelings, but he wiped her glistening tears away instead, bearing in mind that he’s making up for lost times. His face was mere inches away from hers, breaths fanning against each other as Y/n sniffs lightly with Jungwon’s nose bumping against hers.

“I love you, Y/n. My longing for you aches like piled-up bricks pushed against my chest, as my love for you burns, heavily and passionately, like a thousand suns set ablaze right before our very eyes. My heart is, and always will be, yours. You’ve imparted me this quote once from a book you found scattered around my room. ‘Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony’ and I had carved it into the depths of my soul, putting myself under the commitment of being worthy of your choice. I grew confident because I know you love me truly more than him.”

Jungwon raised her flimsy hand and kissed it with much intent before placing it around his shoulders and having his hand rest on the small of her back. With his other hand hanging freely to his side, he lifted it up to graze his gentle fingers upon the lady’s soft cheek, carefully taking in her satisfied reaction to his touch as she kept her eyes closed and her lips parted. Jungwon pulled her chin up with his forefinger, his thumb softly pinching it in the aftermath. He brushes his nose against hers, bathing in each other’s warmth and shy touches, bodies electric.

“Marry me.”

Y/n shoots a concerned look at Jungwon, “but what about Lady Choi? I thought you two-”

“No one else could make me the happiest man in this world, Y/n, no one but you.” Jungwon wasted no time and crashed his lips against hers. First, and long-awaited kisses are finally shared under the illuminating beam of the fullest moon of the year. The gent tilts his head to the side, gaining more access to the lady’s lips as Y/n heaves a deep breath, slowly taking in his upper lip within hers.

He pulls away mere seconds after to get some oxygen into his system while taking the opportunity to continue his unrehearsed proposal. “My heart will only rest in yours. Marry me, Y/n, will you?”

The lady buried her face against his chest that was clad in blue, velvety frock coat adorned with gold embroidery upon its hems. She sniffed his immaculate scent in before letting out muffled whispers. “Give me time to reflect on it. Only then will I give you my answer.”

“Time, of course. As much as you need, my love.” Jungwon gave her a quick and final kiss on the lips before freeing her from his embrace. “I must get you home now. Your mother would be frantic if she knew you were frolicking around with me while she worries about your wedding plans with Sunghoon.”

“Don’t say that. He hasn’t proposed to me yet.”

“But when he does, I’m certain your mother won’t pass up the chance.”

Y/n kissed him back. Fleeting, but full of love. “It’s me who’s getting married, Jung, not her.”

“I love you.”

“You’ve said it already.”

“I will say it again if I have to.” Y/n chuckles lightly, feeling relieved now that Jungwon has trampled down the barriers preventing them from transparency.

The gent lifts her up to his white horse before following after. He instantly took hold of her hands and had them wrapped around his small waist. “Hold on tight. We’re past my promised hour so I’m going to have to speed up, okay?” Y/n didn’t say anything, instead, she hugged Jungwon tightly by the waist and snurfled her cheek against his back. It was enough affirmation for him, so he yanked the thick rope, revving his horse on the cobblestones on their way home.

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ㅡ © ENHA-WOODZIES, 2021

[black-lagoon-rokuro]

Wedding

Wedding I always hated the idea of weddings and marriage. What's the point? All marriage is a piece of paper that controls your life. Weddings are just a waste of money. Whatever. Rock said he wanted one. Thought I owed him after drinking half to death a while back. Since I had Hana, I've been drinking less. Instead of it being everyday it's closer to every month. And each month it's a fucking binge. Each time I drink I make sure I'm away from Hana. Just in case. Although, I'm not an angry drunk. I'm all giggly and happy. Last time, I was hugging Rock and board line panicking over how much I love him. God I didn't want him to hear that. It's embarrassing in a dumbass way. When it comes to the marriage part, ugh. Rock proposed way back when I was pregnant. I said yes obviously. Mainly because I was pregnant. We never were legally married since he went into a coma and shit. Then we had to worry about baby Hana and ugh. It just never crossed our minds. Either way, we still aren't. Since we aren't even legal citizens. Hana is the only one in Lagoon that is. That's just because of Sis. Blah blah. It still feels like we're married. Just without the bullshit. The ripoff church was perfect for us. Irony. There wasn't a lot of people here. Just Lagoon, Sis, Chang, Eda, Yolanda and Ricardo was the preacher. Kinda embarrassing having them see me like this... I'm in a dress. Skirts are fine every once in a while, but fucking dresses. Ew. It's puffy and long. Ugh. Even got makeup on. I actually look kinda nice. Doesn't feel like me. ------ Never thought I'd be a groom at a wedding. It's funny. Seeing me like this. The wedding is overly simple. No best man, brides maids, or anything. But there's cake! An 8 layered cake! That's better than I thought I'd get. I'm surprised Revy agreed. Drunk her brought it up. So there's that. To tell the truth, it's kind of hard to enjoy this. My mother always wanted to be at my wedding. She always talked about it whenever I'd get a girlfriend in middle school. It's foolish but this is making me miss her. Knock knock knock. "Come in." Hana came in. Her pink dress matching the hair tie holding her hair in a ponytail. Whenever she did that she looked more like her mother. "Dad, I saw mom. She looks really pretty!" Hana said as she came closer. "I'm sure she does." I replied while looking at her dress. "Yeah. I even helped her pick out the dress!" I picked her up and asked, "Now are you sure you got her in a dress?" Hana just giggled. There's something special about Hana. She's probably the smartest 5 year old I've ever met. She's always able to sense when I'm upset. "Dad, I thought you wanted this." Hana said while looking at me. "I do, silly. I'm just missing my mom. Nothing to worry about." Hana kept looking at me. She got Revy's eyes but they can still look innocent at times. "It's ok, Dad. I'm sure she misses you." I kissed her cheek and put her down. Hana went out into the aisle. "They're coming, everybody. They're just being girls and worrying about how pretty they look." ---- Ugh. So it's actually happening. Chang said he'd 'hand me off'. Since he's the closest I've got to a dad. Felt so prissy like this. Whatever. It'll make Rock happy for a bit so I guess it's worth it. Chang opened the door. He smiled when he looked at me. "I know. Fucking priceless, right?" He shook his head and took off his sunglasses. "No. You look cute, Two hands." Just rolled my eyes. "We going?" He lead me out there. Ugh. They're already staring. Benny even had his jaw drop. Heh. Ok. ----- Seeing her there made everything about my mom fade from my mind. Her eyes were softer and she looked amazing in a dress. Maybe it was just the color red. I couldn't look away. The way her hair looked. Her eyes. Even the tiny blush she had made me stare. Ricardo closed my mouth for me. "Hey, punk." Revy said when she got up to me. All I could muster was a weak "h-hi." She smirked at that. My heart was beating fast. God. And I thought all that movie shit was just for jokes. I felt like my heart was melting. Fuck, she's so beautiful. I had to fight the urge of kissing her right there. "I could just ramble up here about marriage and love and all that, but let's skip to the vows." Ricardo said. Thank god. I probably look stupid up here drooling over my wife. "I'd normally say ladies first, but he's already taking his script out." Hana said that. Looking at her just made me smile. She's such a beautiful and sweet girl. Can't believe I made her. "Revy, There's no graceful way to start this so I'll just start. Before I met you, my life was a mess. I was in Japan, with a boring job, a dead son and in a relationship with an abusive meth addicted girl. My family didn't talk to me. I was so isolated from them that I was a stranger to my own blood. Nothing in my life was going right. My girlfriend at the time was going crazy. Her sister was my only friend and even that was just out of sympathy. It wasn't until the night that my girlfriend tried to kill me that I realized how empty I really felt. Although she tried to kill me, I got a ring anyway. I thought I was too weak to leave her. I thought she would just kill me eventually and that was unfortunately what I wanted. I wanted to die. Instead, I went to work that day after getting the ring. My boss sent me to Thailand to send a disk. I didn't pay attention to details at the time but the details are in my head so clearly now. I was listening to Pink Floyd and was partially suicidal. When I stepped out of the boat, I got a punch to the face. It's funny now. Now that we're getting married. You took me as a hostage. Those first weeks were awful. I thought you would kill me. But no. Instead, we started drinking together. That was great. Since I never drank and enjoyed it before. Then that escalated into a friendship. Now we're here. I'm not really sure how we ended up here. We're here with an amazing daughter and a fun family in general. All I can really say is that I'm glad that you saved me from myself and the stupid decisions and I love you." Everyone was shocked. I never told anyone besides her about Ai or my son. Revy looked at me with wide eyes when I brought it up. Now she's looking at me with a darker shade in her cheeks. ----- Fuck. I didn't write anything that beautiful. Ugh. Guess I gotta read my piece of shit letter now. Should've known he'd write something that good. "Wow... okay. Now, it's you." Ugh. I hate my vows now. "Rock, We both know I got no idea how to fucking write this, but here goes. I care about you, obviously. It's kinda retarded how I put things. I know it's gotta be hard putting up with my bullshit and my anger. Not to mention the drinking. Either way, I'm not as bad as I was so hopefully that means something. Everyone in this room thinks that you're useless without me. It's got some truth to it. Since without me, you would've been dead a long ass time ago. But they're wrong. Without you, I would be disgusting. None of these fucks know the half of it, but you do. So I'll let you connect the dots. Without you, I would've killed myself with liquor by now. I would've gotten into more gunfights and wouldn't have as many laughs. The biggest thing I gotta thank you for is Hana. Without her, I wouldn't understand as much as I do now. Hana is the best person to ever come into my life and she wouldn't exist with you. I don't know what else to say, but I love you and I love Hana and I love this fucking family." Everyone in the crowd clapped after that. Heh. After that, Hana was supposed to give us the rings but Rock kissed me before that happened. There was more clapping and Eda whistled. Don't think any of them saw us kiss before. Whatever. After that, Hana gave us the rings and we walked out towards the cake. Eda nudged Hana and said, "You should leave your parents alone tonight." I just rolled my eyes at that. Not such a bad wedding after all.