#she isn't sleeping. you aren't sleeping because your dreams are full of screaming things and when you wake up you can taste blood
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what's naboo like? naboo is beautiful this time of year. it's always beautiful. naboo has great green fields, oceans of sweet smelling grass, old trees draped in vines blossoming into bright flowers, explosions of colour. theed is lovely; sunwarmed golden stone, streets lined with flower boxes and trees, graceful marble statues and verdigris green roofs. isn't it so beautiful. they have a tradition there, of young queens. it's a little odd, but naboo is so beautiful, so perfect, so idyllic, how could anything be wrong? what happens to those queens after they rule? well, they do other things, I'm sure. look at the lakes, so tranquil, so peaceful. morning mist rising and burning away in the sun. dew drops caught on spider's webs. what things? they retire, surely. listen to the birds. it's nothing bad, naboo is so beautiful. and it works, clearly. look at the planet! what's the palace like? oh majestic. golden stone and green domes, pillars and walkways and carpets of honeysuckle and ivy clambering up the walls. roses bloom, sweet and scented in the garden, lavender explodes out of urns, the pillars are pink marble, the main plaza has a tree lined walkway, so so beautiful, and the fountains! like nothing you've ever seen before. lovely. perfect. what's inside the palace? only the queen and her handmaidens are allowed in. you have to allow them their traditions.
maybe, inside the palace is a monster. maybe, inside the palace the shutters are drawn over the windows, and then curtains drawn over those. maybe, inside the palace it is soundless, oppressively quiet. maybe, inside the palace is something that is hungry. something that has made a deal. something that is waiting. maybe, queens and their handmaidens are identical to buy them a little more time, maybe the queen who (sometimes) emerges at the end of her tenure is the same girl who went in. maybe she isn't. maybe the handmaidens don't return for a reason, maybe they walk pretty to their deaths wearing the dress that they will die in.
but naboo is so beautiful, how could any of that be true?
#vampires. the concept is vampires.#queen gradually turning#or being hunted down#only the handmaidens for comfort#uuurgh I kinda want to actually write something here I have so many ideas#imagine: your queen your friend has been looking at you almost *hungrily* lately#she isn't sleeping. you aren't sleeping because your dreams are full of screaming things and when you wake up you can taste blood#are you you anymore#maybe you lost track of your name somewhere back there behind you. who is the queen here.#is the queen special to be saved. or special like a gift. which one do you want it to be#original ani thought#yes. this is cheesenames fault#Star Wars au
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I could share my works in progress and all the the things i'm working on related to those things or I can throw out cute headcannons and I think I have a preference so here are all the cute sleepy headcannons I've got
Heralds Sleepy Headcannons
John gets whiney when he's sleepy. Borderline nonsensical in speech as he gets more tired, his voice goes up a little bit and his old southern accent starts to slip out. Once actually convinced to go to bed, he isn't exactly a peaceful sleeper. He tosses and turns a little bit unless he's holding something (or someone) and he mumbles in his sleep. He can and will get mad at you about something you did in his dream.
How Jacob sleeps is entirely dependent on whether or not someone reads to him or helps soothe him to sleep. He refuses to admit he's tired if he's in the middle of doing something, but it takes a while to catch the little warning signs of his for when he's gone too long between siestas. He talks less, stares off into space, kind of agitated. Generally though, unlike John, he doesn't need to be convinced to go to bed. He's actually an adult about his sleep schedule, mainly because he's learned to value every second of sleep he gets. When soothed, he sleeps like a log, unmoving and peaceful. He snores, but its not very loud. Its more like a low rumbling you can't really hear unless you lay your head on his chest. Left to his own sleep care, he thrashes in his sleep. He mumbles borderline incoherent statements about whatever nightmare is plaguing him, and his prone to sleep walking. He's been a sleep walker since he was little, but it got better as he got older, only to return full force once his time in the service was over. Their mother use to say he was a "walker and a screamer," so at least he doesn't scream anymore. It is very rare that during a nightmare he ever gets physically violent or acts out the actions in his dreams, but it has happened before. As such, he's very hesitant to let people around him when he's tired or near him when he's sleeping.
Joseph sleeps flat on his back with his arms crossed over his chest. Always has. Everyone thinks its weird, but he doesn't get it. He also sleeps fully clothed, which he also doesn't understand why people say is weird. His visions often plague him in his sleep, so he does actively sleep talk. It is rather common for people who sleep in the same room as him to be able to have complete conversations with him while he's asleep, only for him to not remember them when he wakes up. When sleeping in a bed with someone else, he prefers to be the little spoon.
Faith is a very light sleeper, something she attributes to her "sinful past." Every small noise from the creak of a floorboard to someone she breathing differently than normal wakes her. Once woken up, she has a very difficult time going back to sleep. Fortunately for her, Bliss tends to make people very sleepy. She's a professional napper at this point. Sleeping through the night might not be easy but there's plenty of quiet, secluded places to get an hour or two throughout the day. Generally a rather fidgety person, the only time she's ever truly still is when she's asleep.
Assorted Guns For Hire and Side Character Sleepy Headcannons
Sharky snores like a freight train. Saws logs like nobody's business. Very avid cuddler, but if he's holding you when he falls asleep? Good luck getting out of that death grip, babe.
Pastor Jerome sleep preaches. He mumbles whatever sermon he was planning before bed in his sleep. He thinks people are joking when they tell him about it. They really aren't.
Kim swears up and down that Nick snores loud enough to send her to the couch most nights. He claims this is blasphemy. She laughs about it.
If you thought Adelaide was loud when she's awake, you should try sleeping in a house with her. While her snoring is sporadic, it is very loud. Xander will try to convince you it's cute.
#far cry 5#far cry five#joseph seed#john seed#jacob seed#faith seed#sharky boshaw#nick rye#pastor jerome#adalaide#more headcanons#soft n sweet#eden's gate
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Chapter Two-Too Bad the Sandman Isn't Here (The Big Sleep)
It was just another ordinary morning like any other for the campers in Camp Wawanawkwa.
Where they are all in their cabins, still asleep in their little dreams. However, when they hear the sound of an air horn going off in front of a megaphone, startling them all awake. All but two girls, Lucy and Marinette. As the two woke up, Lucy stretched her arms and lets out a yawn like a kitten would after taking a nap.
After they both got dressed and walked out of their side of the cabin, they looked to see everyone was already outside. "Glad you two can join us, girls," Chris said. He then continues talking to the rest of the still, tired campers. "Okay, now that everyone's here, I hope you're all ready because your next challenge begins in exactly one minute." "Oh, excuse me, I don't know if that's enough time to eat breakfast," said Owen. "Oh, you'll get breakfast, Owen." Chris said, "Right after you complete your twenty-kilometer run, around the lake."
"Oh, so you're funny now?" Eva questioned, not liking Chris's motives, and started marching towards him with her left hand formed into a fist, ready to punch a man to a bloody pulp. "You know what I think would be funny-" Before Eva can do anything, she is pulled back by Geoff and Duncan. "Eva, try to control your temper?" Courtney whispered to her. Eva then turns to Chris again. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" she asked. "A little," Chris admits. "You have thirty seconds."
CONFESSIONAL: COURTNEY
"Okay, that girl, Eva, has got to get a handle on her temper. She's only been here one day, and she's already thrown her suitcase out a window and broken the lock on one of the bathroom doors."
After that, they already started to prepare for their kilometer run. "Okay, runners! On your marks, get set, go!" with that, they all started running. All but Marinette and Lucy.
CONFESSIONAL: LUCY
"Nettie and I were a bit suspicious about us awake so early and are told to do a run around a lake."
CONFESSIONAL: MARINETTE
"As a result, Lucy and I decided to walk instead. That way, we can see what this challenge is."
As Marinette and Lucy walked around the lake, Harold started to break the ice, asking one question. "Do you know how much longer?" he asked. "Not sure. But you have to admit, it is nice to head out and get some fresh air now and then," said Marinette. "Still true," Lucy added.
"Pick it up, people!" Chris said in a megaphone. "If you're not back by dinnertime, you don't eat!" After a while of walking, they made it back to the main lodge. And Owen slams the door open. "Clear a table, stat!" he exclaimed. As Lucy and Marinette walked to their table, Gwen started to talk, "Hey, wait a minute, if they lost, that means we won the challenge." she said. As most of the Screaming Gophers cheer for their victory, Chris stops them. "Whoa there! Hold your horses, guys. That wasn't the challenge." he said. "What did you just say?" asked Gwen.
"Who's hungry?" there, they all see a table full of home-cooked food.
CONFESSIONAL: GWEN
"After a whole week of brown sludge, I almost cried when I saw that buffet."
CONFESSIONAL: MARINETTE
"I must admit, the buffet table looked amazing. However, since there were still suspicions about the running and the buffet, I decided to stick with something light. Such as a bread roll and maybe some of the salad."
CONFESSIONAL: LUCY
"As much as I want to enjoy a delicious home-cooked meal as if it was home if my hunch is correct, I'm just going to do the right thing and stick to the salad."
Marinette finishes eating her bread roll as she and Lucy see the others finished stuffing themselves with what was left on the buffet table. 'Boy, they sure ate a lot. And here I thought Mister Criminally-Insane-Though was the master of eating a lot and still having a built figure.' Lucy thought jokingly and quietly snickered to her little self-joke. Chris then jumps on the table with a megaphone in hand. "Okay, campers! Time for part two of your challenge," he said. "I thought eating was the second part," said Owen.
"What more do you want from us?" "Weird goth girl is right. Haven't we been through enough?" asked Heather. "Um, let me think about that. No! It's time for the Awake-a-thon!" Chris announced. "The what-a-thon?" Owen asked. "Hm. I'm not surprised." Lucy said, crossing her arms, and Marinette nodded in agreement. "Don't worry, this is an easy one. The team with the last camper standing wins invincibility." "So what you're saying is the 20k run and the turkey-eating frenzy were part of your evil plan to make it harder for us to stay awake?" asked Gwen. "That's right, Gwen." "Man, he's good."
After Chris told them to move, everyone started heading out of the main lodge to the campsite to start the Awake-a-thon. "So, how long do you think it'll be before everyone's out cold?" Trent asked Gwen, Lucy, and Marinette. "About an hour, give or take," Gwen said, giving Trent her answer. As they see Owen walking past them, looking as if he is going to pass out at any second, Gwen added, "Maybe less."
Twelve hours later, everyone was already too tired, had bags under their eyes, yawning away, and looked as if they are about to pass out at any minute or any second. All but the last two, Marinette and Lucy. Who are just sitting there.
CONFESSIONAL: GWEN
"The Awake-a-thon was definitely the most brutal thing I've ever done in my life."
CONFESSIONAL: LUCY
"Just as Nettie and I suspected. But then again, I feel like this challenge will be a walk in the park. This brings back some memories of when I was with some old friends of mine when I was five and six years old. I know I was too young to do any of that at night, but still. It's pretty much an easy task for me. I got this one in the bag."
CONFESSIONAL: MARINETTE
"This won't be too bad. I always take all-nighters whenever I have to do homework, work on design ideas, and work on commissions for my clients. So this won't be so hard."
As they all continued with the Awake-a-thon, Owen was already down and out. "This is the most boring thing I've ever done in my life." "Tell me about it. I can't read any of my Stephanie Queen books during this whole ordeal." Lucy said, upset she couldn't read her favorite books for the challenge. "Could be way worse," said Trent. "How?" asked Marinette. "I could be stuck here without you to talk to," he said to Marinette, making her smile. Gwen smiles, seeing that Trent is talking to Marinette.
CONFESSIONAL: GWEN
"Not gonna lie, but for some reason, I can actually see those two being together when this whole crazed storm of a show is over. Those two, totally deserve each other."
CONFESSIONAL: HEATHER
"So, my strategy is to get two other campers to form an alliance with me and take to the Final Three. The only question is, who can I find that is either desperate or dumb enough to do whatever I say?"
"Um, Lindsay? What are you doing there, Bambina?" Lucy asked as she and Gwen saw Lindsay in a mid-handstand position. "I'm trying to get the blood to rush to my head. I think it's working." "Can I try?" Beth asked her. And Lindsay told her sure. "I wouldn't do that if I were you two," Lucy said worriedly. "Lindsay, Beth, can I talk to you for a second?" Heather called. As they head over to her, Lucy, Marinette, and the rest of the campers continue with the Awake-a-thon while Heather talks to Beth and Lindsay.
As the sun went down, some of the campers were already asleep while the rest of them were still trying to stay awake. Which leaves eleven Screaming Gophers and seven Killer Bass still awake. "Congratulations, campers. You've made it to the twenty-four-hour mark. Time to take things up a notch. Fairy tales." "Oh, he's not serious!" Gwen exclaimed. "I know, out of all things, he has to choose fairytales? I could be reading Stephanie Queen's Critter Crematorium by now!" Lucy complained. As Chris read, more and more of the campers started to fall asleep while others were still trying to stay awake.
Now, there were six Screaming Gophers and four Killer Bass still awake. Meanwhile, Gwen, Trent, Lucy, and Marinette started to have a small talk to pass the time. "Okay, favorite song?" "Jagged's song tribute to the Parisian heroine Ladybug," Marinette said. "Too Cool for School by my favorite late Drummer of KISS himself, the Fox, Eric Carr," Lucy said, crossing her heart for the late drummer. "She Would be Loved. Favorite color?" "Pink and red." Marinette answers. "All colors from the 50s to the millennial 2000s. Oh, and black and Navy blue, of course," said Lucy. "Midnight blue." "Ah, mysterious. Nice," Lucy complimented. "Alright, favorite video game?" "Death Arise," said Gwen. "Music Gods," Trent said. "Ultimate Mecha Strike III," said Marinette. "What about you, Lucy?" "Victorian Servant: The Truth for the Vixen's Secret." "Sounds like a great video game, Lucy." "Well, not gonna lie, my friends back home and I needed a break from stuff related to violent and horror-like video games now and then," Lucy admits. Then, Gwen starts to yawn. "Whoa, hey now, don't fall asleep on us now, sorella," Lucy said as she, Trent, and Marinette helped her. "Okay, quick. Favorite movie moment." Marinette says as she and her friends try to help Gwen stay awake. "You guys are gonna think it's cheesy," Gwen warns. "We promise we won't," Trent said, with Marinette nodding in agreement. "Okay, the kiss at the end of that road-trip movie. You know, with the guy and the three girls?" "Oh, yeah! I remember that." Marinette said. "Hey, that one is one of the best classics," Lucy said, crossing her arms and nodding in approval. "You like that movie?" Trent asked with a chuckle. Just then, Marinette then noticed something.
"Hey, where did Owen go?" she and Lucy looked to see that Owen was not there. "That's odd. He was there a while ago." Lucy said, raising a brow. "Uh...it might be best you guys don't want to know," Gwen said awkwardly as she and Trent saw what they both wished they never saw was Owen sleep-streaking. Meanwhile, Lucy and Marinette both looked at Gwen and Trent confused.
CONFESSIONAL: OWEN
"Did I mention that I ate the entire dish of baked beans and maple syrup? Funny thing about baked beans, they make me sleepwalk."
The four then continued on when they saw Sadie and Katie both sleeping together at the same time. "Oh, cool. They even sleep together." Trent said. "It's actually cute, really." said Marinette.
A little while later, the four friends are lying on the ground, looking at the stars. "You guys still awake?" asked Trent. "I am," Marinette said. "Is that even a question?" Lucy questions, crossing her arms. "Yeah. It's weird, but I think I'm so tired, I'm not tired anymore," said Gwen. "Does that make sense?" "I really have no idea," Trent answered. "Hey, Nettie. You know where the Little Dipper is again? I forget." Lucy admitted. "You guys see the Big Dipper? Follow the handle to that bright star, the pole star, and it's right there." "Ah, cool." "Awesome."
It's been fifty-one hours and still counting, and the four started to notice something odd about Justin. Gwen noticed first saying, "Look at him. He's like a statue." "A statue? More like a realistic standee for a model class." Lucy explains. "This guy hasn't moved in like, over fifty hours or so." Gwen, Trent, and Lucy tried to wake Justin up, while Marinette walked up closer to him. "Amazing!" she said. "Just look at the concentration." Then, Marinette taps Justin's face, which causes him to shake his head, which surprises her. What surprises her and her friends the most is when Justin opens his blue eyes, which causes them to gasp and Marinette to jump in surprise and fear.
"His eyelids are painted. I saw it!" Eva pointed out, which got Chris's attention. "Get out," he said in disbelief. "Oh, I've got to see this." Chris runs to see that Justin has painted his eyelids. "That is so crazy incredible! But you're still out, dude." he said. With that, that leaves five Screaming Gophers still awake for the challenge.
Two days later, by the next morning, Marinette was still awake with Lucy, however, the bags in their eyes were telling another story. Just then, Marinette noticed Duncan doing something while Harold was sleeping. He takes Harold's hand and places it in a cup of water. Then, "Oh, gross, it works! Dude peed his pants!" Duncan exclaimed, waking Harold up. As Harold wakes up, he realizes that he did and tries to cover himself in embarrassment. "Duncan! Why did you do that?!" Marinette said, running towards the scene. "Ah, come on, dollface. You gotta admit that was hilarious." said Duncan. Marinette glares at him, the same way she would at Roth when he tried to plagiarize Kitty Section's song and her designs back in Paris. "Maybe for you, but that is still wrong. How immature can you be?"
CONFESSIONAL: DUNCAN
"Fiesty. I like that in a chick."
CONFESSIONAL: LUCY
"I saw that too, and believe it or not, but I've been through a lot of weird stuff back at my old high school, but that, that was just the lowest of low, even for Mr. Juvie Boy. That was just wrong. But aside from all of that, I got to get the bright side of things." Lucy then grabs a vintage-looking camera, takes a finished photograph out of it, and reveals the photograph to be Noah kissing Cody's ear. "Ha! We've been here for a week, and we're already getting a first ship. How fun is this in our second challenge?"
CONFESSIONAL: NOAH
"I didn't know it was Cody! I thought I was kissing Marinette!" Noah then realized what he said five seconds later. "No! I mean-AGH!"
After a while, Gwen started to yawn. "I'd kill for a coffee right now," she said. Lucy was taking a couple of whiffs of an essential oil. Until she opened her eyes and turned her head to Gwen. "Sorry, Gwen. Did you say something?" Before Gwen can ask what Lucy is sniffing, Chris walks in with a cup of coffee in hand. "What is the matter with you people?" he asks, sipping his coffee. "Come on, fall asleep already." Just then, Gwen grabs Chris by the leg. "You got to hook me up, man." She said. "I'll even eat the grinds. Anything!" "All right, you seven stay with me. The rest of you go and get a shower, for heaven's sake. You stink!" Chris said, sipping more of his coffee. 'Well, what do you expect McLean? You're the one who's making us this insanity you call an Awake-a-thon.' Lucy thought unamused as she continued sniffing her essential oil. She then turns to Marinette, who seems to be ready to fall asleep. Before the girl can close her eyes, Lucy quickly has the essential oil right in front of Marinette's face and under her nose. And with a couple of whiffs, Marinette's eyes were wide open.
"Huh?! Wha? Whe-where am I?" she gasped, looking around, looking awake. "I didn't want it to come to this." Chris started, getting both her and Lucy's attention. "I said that to Chef Hatchet last night. I said, "Chef, I don't want it to come to this." But darn it, these campers are tough. And so, I've come up with the most boring, sleep-inducing activity I can find."
CONFESSIONAL: GWEN
"Oh, come on. What now? Okay, you know what? Bring it on."
Just then, Chris opens a book, which Marinette and Lucy both realize that it was a...
"The History of Canada. A pop-up book. Chapter One."
'You're kidding, right?' Lucy thought as she and Marinette both looked unamused. 'I'd rather listen to Lila keep on lying about the host of the Puppy Bachelorette, Blainley.' Marinette thought while the other five groaned and Gwen let out a 'Stink!'
As Chris goes on and on in the book, it brung Eva, Heather, Gwen, and Trent to sleep. 'Elder Gods Dangit!' Lucy thought in frustration.
A little while later, Chris announced to the still awake three campers, "Time for a bathroom break. Any takers?" he asked. "I've held it this long, sweetheart," said Duncan. "I can go all day." Lucy scoffs. "Yeah, but I doubt you can hold it for another ten chapters." hearing that, causes Duncan to change his mind, and head to the bathroom. "You've got five minutes." Chris said. "Long as you don't mind a little company." "Fine, but stay out of the stall." Duncan warns.
After a little while, Lucy and Marinette started to feel extremely tired. That was until Chris received some intel from an intern. "And we have news. It looks like Duncan's taken a dive on the can, which means there is not one, but two official winners of the Awake-a-thon. And those two winners are...."
"Is it just me? Or is that a sorcerer from a different realm with an evil smirk heading our way?" Lucy mumbly asked with Marinette mumbly responding, "That depends. Is the sorcerer holding a dark purple butterfly that looks like an akuma we get from in Paris in his hand all of a sudden?" after that, the girls then fell back first, fast asleep, knocked out cold.
"Lucy and Marinette! The Screaming Gophers win!"
After taking the two winners, Gwen, and Trent back to their cabin and putting them to bed, there was a commotion going on in the Killer Bass's cabin. Where Eva was trashing the girl's side of the said cabin in anger, in search of something that seemed important to her. Heather decided to "walk in and see what was going on". "Hey, guys. Wow, this place is a real mess," she said. "Someone stole Eva's MP3 player," Courtney explained to her. Heather then "realized" and asked, "You don't mean this, do you?" as she showed the MP3 player that got Eva's attention. As she ran to Heather, Heather "Explained" to them, "I was wondering who it belonged to. I found it by the campfire pit. You must've dropped it." Evan thanked her and Heather responded with a "Sure thing" and walked off.
CONFESSIONAL: HEATHER
"Turn a team against their own team members? Easiest trick in the book."
When the Killer Bass's elimination ceremony came around in the evening, Chris walked to them and spoke.
"You've all cast your votes and made your decision. There are only nine marshmallows on this plate. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow, must immediately return to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and leave. And you can never come back, ever." Chris then moves on with the names of the campers who are safe. "The first marshmallow goes to Duncan. Bridgette. Courtney. Katie and Sadie. Tyler. D.J.. Geoff. Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening... Harold. Eva, the Dock of Shame awaits.”
"Nice. Really nice." Eva said to the other campers, looking as mad as a raging bull. "Who needs this lame-o T.V. show, anyway?" as she stomps off to the Dock of Shame, she ragingly kicks Chris in the shin. As he lets out an 'ow' and holds his possibly bruised leg, he turns to the Killer Bass, telling them, "Have a good night's sleep tonight. You're all safe."
CONFESSIONAL: COURTNEY
"See? I told you. You can't act like a total raging psychopath and then expect people to just forgive you, no matter how tough and strong and fast you are." Courtney explains and crosses her arms, "She's never gonna have a career if she doesn't get her act together."
CONFESSIONAL: HEATHER
"So, Eva was one of their strongest players, and now she's gone. I am so running this game."
As Eva is in the Boat of Losers, she starts to talk, "I guess my temper got the better of me. Again. But whatever, they just lost their fiercest competitor. I hope they realize that." Just then, she feels something in her pocket. She checks to see that it is a little charm that has Rosie the Riveter that has words that say, 'Stay Strong, Eva! You Can Do It!', an essential oil that is labeled 'Anger Management', and a note that says, "To the strongest gal we know, M & L" Eva smiles, "But then again, there are some people that are actually understanding." she said.
Meanwhile, back at the Screaming Gophers' cabin, Lucy and Marinette, both smiled small in their sleep.
Desc. Prologue Get to Know My OC Chapt 1. Reactions Pt 1. Reactions Pt 2. Chpt 3 Reactions Pt 3 Chpt 4 Reactions Pt 4 Chpt 5 Reactions Pt 5
#total drama miraculous island#miraculous crossover#miraculous salt#total drama island#total drama crossover#total drama#oc insert#class salt#lila salt#lila sucks#cerise bianca salt#iris verdi salt#who the freak is she?!!💢#adrien salt#gabriel agreste redemption#gabriel is not a monster#nathalie sugar#good parents tom and sabine#tom and sabine sugar#caline bustier salt#damocles salt#marinette protection squad#marinette defense squad#marinette deserves better#everyone loves marinette#marinette needs a hug
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Frozen within the Night Wind: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Book 3 Chapter 1
None of the characters in twilight belong to me, all rights go to Stephenie Meyer.
Summary: Fleur has never been in more danger than she has now. Not only does she have the revengeful and angry Victoria after her. But the Volturi is wanting to go after her as well. Will Fleur be able to stay human? Or will someone end up getting in her way?
"Baby, that isn't how they look tonight
It took the light absolutely forever to get to your eyes
And as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?
It's the star treatment."
Star Treatment, By The Arctic Monkeys
Those speckled stars in the midnight sky are my possibilities of life, my fate.
That ocean is the course I will float through. It may be choppy and rough.
Or that tide that the moons controls will take me under.
Now in days, it always felt like that moon was going to take me in the water, pushing me down deep. I had multiple targets on my back and many deadly people trying to shoot their shots toward me. It seemed I had grown numb to the idea of my heart not beating anymore. It felt like a fate I couldn't escape. I should've known this would happen... I was dating someone whose heart had stopped beating over a hundred years ago. I would never blame him for my problems, of course, he couldn't control my sister's mouth as much as I wanted him to.
My dreams had started to get strange...Anytime I was "in" Victoria she was always alone. I felt her resentment, nervousness, and the constant hesitance of the people around her. I was always wondering what had happened to that man she had bitten. Leah and I hadn't talked since her dad had ended up getting killed, I hadn't seen Seth either. Bella and I had been worse than we had ever been. Seeing her still makes me sick to my stomach and Edward made me just as sick too. But I knew something was coming...and I knew that we would all have to stick together, whether we wanted to or not.
I was currently making my way down to the Cullens, I wanted to see Rosalie and Jasper, and Alice too. I couldn't stand to be in that house by myself with Edward and Bella not too far away.
Tell me, how am I to feel? Tell me how... I don't know if I can chill I need to scream it loud
Female Energy PT2 by, Willow Smith
I pulled into the Cullen's driveway and jogged up to the door, knocking softly. Jasper had always told me I never needed to knock and that I could just come in but, it always felt wrong not doing it. I looked through the glass and saw Rosalie smiling, she had more bridal magazines in her hands. Ever since she found out Jasper and I had gotten engaged she was gung ho on planning our wedding. I was convinced she could be a professional wedding planner.
"Fleur! You came right on time." I walked into the house and took my sweater off.
"Glad I made it on time... my rule is when Edward enters the house, it's time for me to leave the house." I joked.
"Oh, I'm sure they're driving you nuts."
"You have no idea... Is Jasper here?
"No, he went on a hunting trip with Emmett, Esme, Dean, Carlisle, and Alice, they'll be gone for the rest of the night."
"Oh okay. What'd you find?" I asked gesturing toward the pile of magazines.
"I was looking at wedding dresses perfect for forest weddings, and when the best time to have weddings at, as well as things you shouldn't have in a wedding because they can cause bad luck."
"Rose... Alice is starting to rub off on you isn't she?" I said a smirk was plastered on my face.
"Yes... I think she is."
"So, what do they tell us about what are the best dresses to wear?"
"Well, I was seeing a lot of lace, and most the dresses were short."
"I like lace."
"Good, we've made progress."
"I was thinking about having Lilies of the Valley for the main floral arrangements."
"You are reading my mind Fleur."
We were scanning through different magazines, pointing out some things I would want to have. The distraction was nice but soon enough those same thoughts crept back into my head. Rosalie noticed this and a concerned look was replaced with her joyful one.
"What's going on in that head of yours Fleur."
I sighed
"I'm just freaked out about everything...and these dreams about Victoria aren't helping either."
"You've had more dreams about Victoria?" She inquired, her face was full of shock."
"Oh...I didn't say anything about that did I?"
"No...what's she doing?"
"Well, the first dream I had of her again was while all you guys were gone. She had attacked some man but didn't kill him. The dreams of her I've had recently are just her alone... she seems so nervous now."
"I wish I could help you out with whatever's going on but, I can't do anything for your dreams."
"It's not your fault Rose... I just wish I knew why my dreams have been so accurate when it came to things involving her. Well... there was one other thing, but I'm not sure if Jasper told you."
"What's it about?"
"I was having dreams the night you guys had left, one of them I was standing on a random street corner, and Jasper was there driving a car. When he got a second look at me I disappeared. He had called me in the middle of the night and asked me how I found him."
"Oh my god...are you sure you're fully human?" She asked playfully.
"I don't know what the heck I am at this point," I said, chuckling.
"I have to admit, it's impressive... I've never even heard a vampire being able to do that stuff."
"I wish I could control it, the dreams cut off after a while."
"I wouldn't worry about it, for now, it comes into use for us when we've reached dead ends. You have to be hungry, why don't we take a break from wedding planning?"
"Sounds good... I'm starving!"
After I had finished dinner, it was late so I had decided to spend the night there. I pulled out my phone and called dad, so he didn't freak out about anything.
"Hey Petal, I was just about to call."
"Sorry dad, I'm over with Rosalie... we spent too much time wedding planning. I'm going to spend the night here since it's so late." I explained.
"That's fine, tell Rosalie I said hi."
"I will love you, dad."
"Love you too."
"I'm going to bed Rose, I'll see you in the morning."
"Alright, sleep well." She said.
I went up to Jasper's room and collapsed on the bed the Cullens had gotten for me. I was roused awake slightly a few hours later, those familiar cold arms wrapped themselves around me. I fell back to sleep a few seconds later. I awoke the next morning, the sun was burning my face. It was one of those rare day's the sun decided to make an appearance in Forks. I groaned and buried my face in one of the cush pillows behind my head. I heard a deep chuckle from the doorway.
"You never were a morning person were you love?" I heard Jasper ask...not matter how long I was here on this Earth, I would never get tired of his voice.
"I don't wanna get up...you can't make me."
"I technically could darlin, I am a vampire you know."
"But you're a nice vampire...you love me too much to wake me up."
"Edward and Bella will be coming over soon..." I shot up and looked at him, a grin on his face told me he was joking.
"I take it back, you're mean."
"If it'll make it up to you...I'll make you breakfast."
"As nice as that sounds... I better go, dad is probably waiting for me."
"Okay love, I'll see you tonight." He said, I kissed him before leaving, I bid everyone a goodbye in the lounge room and made it toward my car. The long drive back was going well until my car had broken down.
"Aww damn it..." I said, getting out of my car. I was still in the forest, the dead leaves were crunching underneath my feet. Before I could open the engine however I heard another set of feet coming toward me. I looked up and locked eyes with someone who looked familiar to me... his eyes were blood red.
"Fleur Swan... we meet at last."
#jasper hale x reader#rosalie hale#jasper hale#jasper hale x oc#jasper whitlock#jasper cullen#carlisle cullen#emmett cullen#esme cullen#alice cullen#edward cullen#bella swan#twilight saga#twilight
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"Black Magic" *Part 12*
Ayyyyy I fixed it!
For those who missed it, I wrote this chapter also on my phone because apparently I'm addicted to this story I can't focus on my real life even when I'm out.
Also sorry this is short but it was written in a Target parking lot on my phone. And also-- I just wanna put off "THE" part. 😂😬😘
Part 11
Part 13
Tag list
@madamsnape921
@lolliepopsicle
@chasingeverybreakingwave
@milkshqke
@wanniiieeee
@word-scribbless
@gibbs274
@sassyada
@aprildecker-blog
@bookishfanfic
@stars-in-the-skies-world
@stars-trash-18
@omgsuperstarg
-----
Rafael shook his head, still reeling from your encounter. You had no idea what the hell you were talking about, he loved Olivia. He was sure of it. But the last thing you said nagged at him. Even if you had been some kind of crazy mind reading witch, that didn’t stop him from telling Liv about his father.
He had never told her, and if he was really honest with himself, he had no intention of telling her any time soon, maybe ever.
Why didn’t he want to tell her?
-----
Rafael decided to show you, he went straight to Liv's bridal room and knocked on the door.
"Yes?"
"Liv it's me."
"Rafa we can't see each other before the ceremony! It's bad luck!" She called through the door.
"Well it's more bad luck if we start this marriage with secrets." He replied.
Olivia's eyes widened: was he...was he going to tell her his middle name? All on his own? She KNEW you were full of shit
"O-okay just tell me through the door." Her eyes lit up with hope.
"No, I need to be looking at you or I might lose my nerve"
That was good enough for her! She swung the door open.
Rafael stared at her in awe, she had never looked so beautiful in all the years he knew her. He knew you were full of shit, he loved her completely.
"Liv I haven't been honest with you. My middle name isn't Antonio."
"It's not…?" Her eyes began to well up. It was happening. It was really happening.
"No, it's…." He paused and gazed at her. She was beautiful, she was perfect.... But there was no...safety.
"It's Ronaldo," he lied. "I just wanted you to have the right name on the marriage license"
"God damn it Rafael are you fucking kidding me? She yelled.
"What are you talking about?" Rafael was taken aback.
"Why can't you just tell me your real middle name? Why is that so hard for you?!" She yelled again..
"I'm sorry, you know that I'm lying? You know my real middle name?"
"What.. ? Yes...maybe, I don't know," she stammered.
"How do you know my middle name?" He asked.
" I, um...did...did you finish the flask I gave you?" She asked softly.
"....Excuse me?" Rafael asked suspiciously. He turned and walked back to his room. Olivia followed behind him quickly.
"You mean this flask that you supposedly gave me for our wedding day?" He asked, holding up a silver flask with his initials on it.
"You mean this nice loving gift, a token of your love on the most important day of our lives? You're asking me if I 'finished this'?"
"I.. well…" she stuttered.
"And what exactly is this Olivia?" He turned and headed to the bathroom of the groom suite.
"No Rafael, don't!!!" Olivia chase after him frantically.
Rafael opened the flask and poured its contests into the sink. To his horror and disbelief, a dark purple liquid poured out of it; as if it was purple and blue mixed together.
"Holy shit…" Rafael muttered.
"Oh my God!" he just stared in shock as the liquid dissipated down the drain. Olivia could only stand frozen in shock and couldn't speak.
"Oh my God, that girl was right wasn't she?" He stared at her.
"What girl? Was there a girl here?" Olivia quickly turned defensive. "Rafa you shouldn't listen to random ass people--"
"Oh no, fuck that Liv!" He screamed. Throwing the flask across the bathroom.
"What the hell was that?!" He gestured to the sink, now empty of the contents of the flask. "What the hell did you do to me?!
"Nothing!" She stuck to her denial. "It's just the color of the special liquor that I bought you. It's some kind of wine," She tried to think of a lie on the spot, but she wasn't great at it.
"Oh that is a load of shit!" Rafael scoffed while throwing up his hands. "I can't believe this...I can't believe some random ass girl knew more about me than you. She's right isn't she?"
"Rafa come on--" She started to speak, but Rafael wasn't hearing it.
"Oh no fuck that, fuck 'Rafa'. We're past Rafa, don't call me that!" Rafael screamed. "That girl was right, wasn't she? You made me forget her. I'm actually in love with her, aren't I?"
"No! You were never in love with her! That shit was fake. It was as fake as this!" She slapped her hand over her face after saying the last part inadvertently.
"Oh my God...This whole thing is fake. You manipulated my mind. You made me think that I was in love with you!" Rafael felt sick to his stomach.
"You are in love with me!" Olivia screamed. "You just needed to realize it," she added softly.
"And you wanted me to drink more so what? You could make me forget this ever happened so that I would marry you willingly? Like your little robot?" Rafael paced the room angrily.
"No I love you Rafael! That's why I did this! I did this for us!" She was crying now.
"That's BULLSHIT!" Rafael yelled.
"You didn't do this for me, you did this for you. You don't love me at all! If you really loved me, then you would want me to be happy no matter who that was with! I'm not your fucking Ken doll Liv! I'm not some guy you can just manipulate and tote around like some lap dog, doing whatever you say. That's not what love is!"
"Rafael come on, just look--- just, just drink this," she pulled out another vial from her bra. "Just drink it and you'll forget about this, and then we can be happy!"
"Are you not hearing me at all Olivia? Rafael asked her in actual disgust.
"You're still just trying to stick to your delusion? Don't come near me with that. In fact don't come near me at all. I can't. I can't even look at you right now," He started to storm out of the room but Olivia chased after him.
"Where are you going!?!"
"To get back what you stole from me!" Rafael yelled back, running out of the church.
----
You stood there in front of the penguins with Maria and Chloe just staring at them. It had gotten dark now. The tank was lit up, brightening the cave with its neon blue water. They looked so happy, just swimming and carefree, not a care in the world.
"Look at you guys," You sighed. "So happy, so innocent. You wouldn't lie to each other, you wouldn't manipulate each other, you just love each other unconditionally," You started to tear up.
"Oh honey…" Chloe came and put an arm around you.
"He's not coming, is he?" You looked at her with tears now dripping down your face.
She looked down at her watch; it had been about an hour since you had shown up there. That was about 20 minutes from the church. So it had been a while for Rafael to change his mind.
"I mean... I don't want to be Debbie Downer or anything but--" She have you a pity look.
"30 more minutes?" You pleaded with puppy dog eyes.
"Alright…." She looked at Maria who just shrugged sadly. Then she linked an arm in yours, laying her head on shoulder. "As long as you need."
------
Rafael was in an Uber, heading towards Central Park. He couldn't decide how he felt at the moment. He was enraged with Olivia for fucking with his emotions, his brain, his heart. How long has it gone on for?
Now that it had been a while since his last "dose", he was starting to realize he couldn't remember yesterday, or any of the past week, and it scared the shit out of him.
How could she do this? How could she just take memories from him like taking cookies out of a cookie jar? And with absolutely NO remorse? She was STILL trying to control him even when he was confronting her! Did she ever really love him? Were they ever really friends? It was like losing a lover and his best friend in one fell swoop.
And then there was you. Maybe you really had been Liv-- his lover and best friend. But she had taken that too, he had no memory of you whatsoever.
Even now he struggled to even remember your name. He was pretty sure you had said it in his dressing room, but all the shit he had in his system still left him all foggy. He did remember you knew his middle name, his Broadway dream.
You knew about Eduardo, how could he have told you about Eduardo? How important were you to him? How could he just forget that? He wanted that back, that safe feeling you were going on about. You were absolutely on the money about him never feeling safe once his Abuela had moved in with him and his mother. His mother's house never felt safe, even after Eduardo left.
His Mami was wonderful, but he never felt like he could ever fully be himself with her, because she wouldn't accept him. Which is why he never felt comfortable sharing himself completely, ever.
He wanted that safe feeling so badly….he wanted his feelings back so badly. Even if they were someone he supposedly didn't know.
"Uh….hey man are you ok? The Uber driver's question made him realize he was crying. The driver was awkwardly glancing back at him.
"Ahem...yeah no I'm fine. Can we uh...can we go any faster?"
"Hey man I can't control New York traffic," he gestured towards the stand still grid of cars.
He was still 5 blocks away. He wasn't entirely sure just how in love with him you were, though you were pretty damn hysterical at the church.
Would you wait all night? Have you already left?
"You know what, I think I can walk faster than this," Rafael told the driver as he got out on the curb and began running towards the park.
"....Don't forget to rate me five stars!!!" The driver called after him.
----
You glanced down at your phone, it had been 45 minutes since you had asked Chloe for 30. Maria was asleep on a bench, Chloe was falling asleep on your shoulder.
He wasn't coming. Olivia had won. You had to accept it.
You put your phone down and walked up to the glass of the penguin tank. They were all sleeping, except for one. They all were wearing these adorable harnesses that had their name on them, hers read "Penny".
Penny was sitting on a rock above the water, just staring at the "shore" of their enclosure.
You wondered if there was any explanation for that-- you googled "PENNY PENGUIN CENTRAL PARK ZOO". An article immediately came up. You scanned it, reading a particular sentence.
"....Penny's mate was killed in an accident at the zoo six months ago. Penguins are notoriously monogamous, so it's likely she won't ever take another mate. She just spends her night and days looking towards the place the Zookeeper's took Leonard from the enclosure."
Your heart broke, tears came to your eyes for the millionth time that day as you pressed a hand to the glass.
"I'm right there with you Penny, I know how you feel babe…" You sniffled as if the penguin could understand you. But she still continued to stare, waiting for her love to come back.
You wiped tears away and walked away from the tank over to Chloe and Maria, shaking her awake.
"Let's go," you sniffled.
"You sure honey?" She asked you as Maria stirred awake.
"Yeah…. it's over," you sniffled again, all out of water in your body.
She let you lean on her as you walked back up the stairs to the park.
You were so downtrodden, you didn't notice you had left your phone sitting in the enclosure.
#rafael barba#rafael barba x reader#rafael barba x you#rafael barba imagine#rafael barba fanficton#law and order svu
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I'm not going to review the season finale in quite the same way as I've usually written something afterwards. I'm ultra tired due to distinct lack of sleep. So it is more truncated than I'd intended. Also unedited so advance apologies if something makes no sense or is misspelled etc.
The episode was facing the challenge of not only being edited after COVID-19 shut down production, but what was intended to be the penultimate episode became the finale. So I'm trying to take that into consideration.
First part in Kara's loft. It was choppy. Don't get me wrong, I had nothing against the humour, or the scenes in general. Although they missed the glaring opportunity to place a "flew here on a bus," moment! It felt pretty disappointing they didn't recognise what has become an iconic line within the SG fandom, and made it even more iconic.
Before the bus though, back at the loft, considering that Lena had literally only just arrived at Kara's, with all that entails, it felt completely out of place for that context. Did it have been overwhelming heavy at that point? Absolutely not. But it was too close to slapstick at times for me and internally I was cringing. I admit, I'm not sure where they could've put it in, but perhaps if they'd just lowered it a fraction, made it a little more subtle a couple of times, it would've helped for me.
Some of the dialogue (especially early on) was also all over the place for me. It did get better as the episode wore on, but I wonder how much was the need to redo parts of the episode because of COVID-19? Unless they think to put an episode as intended in a future season DVD (perhaps S6 DVD), or someone gives us full details via an interview we will probably never know.
Which brought me to one piece of dialogue that I wish they'd not put in at all!
In 5.18, as I've spoken about a lot on Twitter especially, the way Lex screams into Lena's face, and Lena's flinch, and how that had been me 20 odd years ago. They then had the line as Lena talks to Kara; "Go ahead. Scream at me if you have to, I know I deserve it."
I know for many, they'd just see it as a line to use, but .... for many of us who have suffered abuse, who recognised (& in some instances were triggered) by last weeks episode, to not have acknowledged why that line was so problematic is worrying. It heavily suggests they're not going to address Lena's trauma and abuse because they really don't understand it (& again, if anyone believes she didn't suffer trauma and abuse, but accept others in SG do, go away with your bias from my page), but considering they haven't addressed much of Kara's trauma, particularly watching Argo destroyed again, being stuck for months during Crisis like they were, etc - then I guess it isn't a surprise.
But it is uncomfortable as hell to watch a line like that glossed over.
Overall though, I did enjoy the episode. Once that 1st half was over, especially (baring a few moments, including watching Alex do her badass Mission Impossible meet Cirque du Soleil moment because that was awesome) it felt much more like SG of previous seasons. So that was great.
Watching Lena as she watched Alex and Kara hug behind her was so emotional. Watching siblings love unconditionally. Something she thought she had with Lex, only to realise he hadn't changed at all. Lena didn't need to say anything, as once again Katie's acting brought all the emotion Lena was feeling to the fore.
Having Lena and Alex mirror they choice of words in regards Kara was pretty iconic. Then having Alex whisper, "Jinx." really made it work.
Seeing Dreamer in her element, including some great lines again. "I can't believe you left to fight Earth, Wind & Fire without us." "Guess they didn't take the bait? Maybe you should've been meaner?" As they begin the fight with J'onn, M'gann Alex and Dreamer - Alex to Dreamer: "You ready?" Dreamer. "Nope." Alex. "Me neither." Dreamer at her best imo.
Kelly going all, damn my girlfriend is hot & I want sex right now despite the circumstances was pretty cute and funny.
The Kara and Lena monologues being in unison. Now that was pretty amazing and one of the best parts of the whole episode imo.. But again, you feel as if they're matching Lena and Kara together with those scenes as a couple.
Lena not only protecting Kara, but stopped Andrea from going down a dark path as Acrata. Was also great.
Last frame of Lillian. Does it turn out she is the head of Leviathan? Because again they laid out more than once the leader was a woman. It has been noted several times now in different episodes. I was hoping Lena's biological mother, considering she knew of the legend of Acrata, but it is now looking more likely this reincarnation of Lillian is who it is, unless it is a character we've not been introduced to, but I highly doubt that.
The 2nd half of the episode was what we missed so much this season. In fact aspects throughout the episode were missing for too much this season.
This includes the women being the focal point of it. Brainy though absolutely rightly taking a strong subplot to what else was going on. J'onn ably supported by M'gann. M'gann who managed to advise Nia on embracing her dreams and not trying to avoid part of them. Dansen actually working together and both being badass in their own way (after all, this is something I've advocated for much of the season, & while fantastic to see, it never should've taken this long. Now where have we heard that before?)
But we still have glaring unanswered questions that I can't imagine would've been answered in 5.20.
Every indication since 5.17 is Kelly knows Kara is Supergirl. Yet we don't know for certain, because they've failed to show us how or when. I've said before, considering every other person who knows Kara is Supergirl, we had them tripping over themselves to explain to the audience how it happened. I'm pretty annoyed that we as the audience don't get given the same courtesy with Kelly. This is why so many of us feel short changed on some characters this season. The really aggravating thing is would only take a few lines to clear it up!
Now onto Alex. This ties in with J'onn. Where are they getting the money to survive? Did J'onn manage to accumulate enough over all the years he was on Earth to finance everything & pay Alex a wage? No clue.
Also, are Kelly & Alex living together? Or do they have keys to each others apartments? Yes, Kelly was at Alex's in 5.17 so the answer is pretty much yes, but nothing has been said! We knew more about Brainy & Nia's living arrangements from 5a than we do Kelly & Alex.
Kara's trauma. Lena's abuse & trauma. See above.
Lastly, the one most I know want (except a few vocally against), leaning towards Supercorp becoming canon. Again for another season, we end up with the, 'Maybe they'll do it next season.' being said. Particularly as in 5a they really went all out on Supercorp parallels to Clois and at times Dansen, plus even a little on Brainia. But unless something pretty fundamental changes behind the scenes, they're going to recognise what their biggest draw is, keep baiting but never fully go into it. And that is what I fear the most. When you've got media, even non-Supergirl fans saying it, but the show refusing to acknowledge it - that could be their legacy, and it will not look good or have a lot of fans look back kindly on them for it.
The 4 seasons it took for Lena to find out Kara was Supergirl was, in the end, terribly executed. This waxing and waning as well of; is Lena good or bad? Will she follow in the Luthor footsteps?
She is flawed. She's made some pretty awful mistakes. But now they're said she is good. She isn't evil or a villain. So now that line they've drawn needs to stay there! No more ambiguity on her character being a villain.
But you know what's not good? Feeling you can't trust the show to draw a line under that aspect of the character. That doesn't mean you have to have any one of them not be flawed, or to even cross some lines (they've all done it at some point, some moreso than others, but not one character is innocent).
When the show is now generating that level of mistrust on how they could handle future events, that is a problem.
Season 5 overall (particularly 5b) was absolutely horrendously bad. It had some moments of sheer brilliance (either individual scenes, or some episodes), but the rest was just flat out awful. Irrelevant. Messy. No cohesion. 5b became too much of the Lex Luthor show. Certain character additions were vastly unpopular and definitely caused down turns in viewer numbers (& again, from far more than a section of fandom). As did keeping Lena away from everyone for so long.
To sum up. Season 5 was a disaster.
Season 6 needs to have considerably different direction to even try & pull back some viewers (if they can at all). Distrust is rife.
The worst is no-one in the cast deserved this, especially as they're so talented. Some of the performances, even with how poor much of the season was, have been magnificent. But as the saying goes, you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear.
I've never been so relieved a season is finally over. We'll watch our favourite episodes for sure, of which there aren't many, but a full rewatch of the season we normally do will not be happening. Some episodes were better off consigned to the trash.
#supergirl#kara danvers#lgbtq#chyler leigh#alex danvers#katie mcgrath#nicole maines#azie tesfai#supercorp#kelly olsen#melissa benoist#nia nal#nia x brainy#nia nal x brainy#brainiac#brainy#brainia#andrea brooks#eve teschmacher#lena luthor#5.19 finale#jesse rath#meaghan rath#david harewood#j'onn j'onzz#m'gann m'orzz#white martian#lillian luthor#brenda strong
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Snakebite Andi x Fem Child! Reader
A/N: Hello lovelies. This request was submitted by @trueknotlover who Tumblr will not let me tag because it wants to be a pain. Same with why there is no more read more on this. This is first time I've ever really written anything like this with Andi and a child so I hope you enjoy it. Love you all and hope everything is well.
Warnings: Mentions of child abuse
"..Y/n, what are you doing?"
"Quiet, Y/b/n! He's going to hear us!"
"You're worried about him hearing you? I'd be more worried about him seeing you. You know how dad gets when he drinks. He's nasty." You shushed your brother. "I know but-"
"What the hell are you two doing in there and still up?" You tensed up and your brother squeezed your shoulder. "Go!"
"What?" You asked. "Go! Now! Leave! Because I have a feeling he's going to go more off the hinges than normal." You started crying. "But I don't want to leave you.."
Your brother shushed you and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. "I'll be fine, okay? Just go!" He let go of your hand and opened up to the window for you step onto the fire escape.
His bedroom door was shaking from your father's rage and you knew it would be long before he got in. Your brother gently lifted you outside and set you down on the metal platform. "Now go! Before anyone sees you." Tears once again started flowing down your cheek and you nodded. "T-thank you." You started climbing down the rickety, old stairs. Hot tears still freshly flowing from your eyes.
'This isn't real. This has to be a dream.' You kept telling yourself over and over. Your life wasn't always like this. The four years of your life were similar to that of any other child.
You had a loving mother and father who always made sure you were cared for and you never felt unloved. That all changed though once you started kindergarten. From the time you were little your mother always told you you were special. You could lift objects with the slightest tap of your mind and reading other peoples thought.
'It's a gift' You could remember her telling you but it wasn't one to be taken lightly. You always had to hide yourself from people. Your true self. The more you grew, the more powerful you became and people became afraid of you for it. It caused strains on your parent's relationship and finally your mother could take no more.
All that was left of her when you woke up the next morning was the clothes she hadn't taken with her, laying scattered on the bed and a wedding band on the kitchen counter. Your dad tried to be support for a while but finally he hit the end of his rope to and the rest was history.
As your tiny bare feet touched the ground you could hear the sound of a gun shot coming from your apartment and you let out a sob. Not having to be in the room to know what happened.
You let out a sob of anguish and screamed. "This is wrong! This is all so wrong!" As you pulled at your hair a trash can that was in the alley flew off to the side. You jumped at the result of your outburst and breathed shakily.
'Control yourself, Y/n.' You tried to tell yourself. You felt a hand rest on your shoulder and you let out a scream. "Sorry, sorry!" You furrowed your brows. You didn't know anyone with that voice.
You turned around seen a pretty girl with blonde hair, probably about 7 or 8 years older than you with a snake tattoo on her upper arm. She looked you up and down as if she analyzing you and knelt down to your level. "What's your name?" She asked sweetly. "Y/n."
"Y/n. That's a pretty name. I'm Andrea. You can call me Andi though, if you want." You sniffled and nodded. "N-nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too." She attempted to pull you into a hug but you tensed up, shrugging her away. "I-i'm sorry. I don't like people touching me."
"It's okay. I understand how you feel. I was a lot like you once." You sniffled and wiped your eyes. "You do?" She grabbed a tissue to wipe your face off with. "I do. I know what's it like to be different and have others be afraid of you for it. To have people hurt you for it."
"I-i'm not hurt." Andi almost hard to resist the urge to laugh. "Honey, if you think I'm going to buy the whole you tripped and fell downstairs things I won't. I was your age once. How old are you, Y/n?"
"Eight." She ran a finger across your cheek. Same age her dad started hitting her. Andi let out a sigh and pieces of herself inside you. She seen that girl. The scared little girl who was afraid to tell anyone the truth because she didn't want to get hurt anymore she already was. That little girl was afraid and full of rage.
She wasn't that little girl anymore though and she didn't want you to spend the rest of your life in that little girl's shadow either.
Andi brushed a piece of hair away from your eye and stared at you. "You're special, aren't you Y/n?"
"I-i don't know what you're talking about." You tried to get her off your case but you could tell Andi wasn't buying it. "Oh yes you do."
(You can hear me, right?)
Your whole body felt cold at the sound of her voice in your mind and you tensed up. "You can-"
"Do that? Yes, I can. I'm special, Y/n. Just like you and there's even more of us that are like you too." Your eyes widened. "There are?"
"There are. How would you like a family, Y/n? A family who is going to love you and appreciate you all the more for how special you are?"
Tears started brimming in your eyes and Andi wiped them away. "No, no. No tears. All you have to do is come with me and all this pain will go away."
"I-i-" Andi wiped your tears away. "What's the matter, Y/n?" She asked softly. "Promise me I can trust them? I'm just afraid of getting hurt again. Because I feel like every time I trust someone they always end up hurting me."
"You don't have to worry about that with them. I promise and you know I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. Ever."
"You swear?" You asked softly. "I swear." You thought about her offer for a moment and nodded. "Okay..I'll come with you." Andi smiled and pulled you into a hug. "Good." She scooped you up and your arms and began to walk out of the alley. "Where are we going?"
"Home. Now, I just need you to do one thing for me sweetie?" You nodded. "Yes, Andi?"
"Sleep." You felt her hands poking around in your mind and you let out a whine. "Andi, I-i don't like that," You protested. "It's okay, Y/n. Just sleep. That's all you need to do. Sleep deeper."
As your vision began to blur you could see a woman with a top hat in the distance. "You took a while." Despite the blurriness in your vision, you could make out she was a pretty woman.
"I wanted to make sure it was what she wanted." You heard the top hat woman make a humming noise. "Good. Because I wouldn't be pleased if we had to return her to that place. Now hand her over, Andi."
Andi did as she was told and Rose took you into her arm. You felt a pinch in the side of your neck and you winced. "It's alright honey..soon enough you'll be home. Now sleep."
...
You didn't know what happened after that. You could vaguely remember either Andi or Rose setting you on a soft bed and seeing bohemian wall art but after that, every went black.
What felt like hours later you woke up to a dry sensation in your throat, your breath jagged and hot tears streaming down your face from a nightmare.
"Hey, hey..it's alright." You whimpered and buried your face in the pillow, rocking yourself back and forth on the bed. "He hurt me! He hurt me!" You sobbed over and over and Andi petted your hair. "Shhh..it's alright. He's gone now and he can't hurt you anymore..it's alright."
Andi swiped the few tears off your face that wasn't soaking into the pillow and carefully began to lift you up into her arms. "W-what are you doing?" She shushed you and carefully began to pull you into a hug. "Just relax, Y/n." You shook your head. Andi! I d-don't like it!" You tried to pull away from her but Andi kept pushing. "Y/n, listen to me."
You shook your head frantically, keeping at your squirming. "You want to listen to me." You could feel her poking around in your head and slowly you began to listen. "It's okay. See, I'm not hurting you. All I'm doing is hugging you. Okay?"
"O-okay," You hyperventilated. "That's all it is. It's a hug. Just relax. You want to relax." Your body began to grow limp and Andi rocked you back and forth in her arms as she embraced you. "See? It's alright. I'm not hurting you. I'm just comforting you. Okay?"
"O-okay.." You hugged the older girl tightly and let out a sob of pain and relief. "P-promise me you won't leave me?" You whined. "Never." You held onto her tightly, trying to calm yourself down.
“You can trust me Y/N. I know how many people have told you that and that they've hurt you, but trust me when I say this. That will never happen here. You are now surrounded by people who are gonna love you and you more then worthy of that. You deserve that.” She kisses your temples as she held you. "Are you ready to meet the others?"
You gave a slight nod and held onto Andi tightly as she carried you outside. The sun was shining bright and through the glare you could a small group of people looking at you with smiling faces. Despite the short amount of time you knew Andi, you couldn’t help but feel as if you could trust her. As if she already knew your life story and understood you. You felt safe for the first time in a while. You felt at home.
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✒ P.S. I Love You ✒
***
IV
***
"Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
Mister Sandman, bring me a dream. Make him the cutest that I've ever seen. Give him two lips like roses and clover, and tell him that his lonesome nights are over. Sandman, I'm so alone. Don't have nobody to call my own. Please turn on your magic beam, Mister Sandman bring me a dream.
Bum, bum, bum, bum,..."
V and Griffon both looked at Nico in utter confusion.
"What?!" The woman blurted out.
"Mister Sandman? Really?" Griffon sassed, slightly irritated at the song's cheesy lyrics.
"Hey, it's better than nothin', 'kay?" The woman answered as she went back to rearranging the mysterious wires that were scattered on the floor. "Or do ya want me to put in Zeppelin again?"
"NO! STOP! I BEG YA! PLEASE!"
"THEN, QUIT COMPLAININ' AND HELP ME HERE!" Nico screamed at the bird as she pointed a strange looking radio at him.
"AYE!" The bird obliged, swooping down on the floor near the wires to fix them.
"What is that?" V asked when he noticed the radio like thing on her hand.
Nico's eyes lit up in excitement as she looked at V and then at the gadget on her hand. "Oh, this work of art is my latest invention! It can record all kinds of sounds produced by both humans AND Demons!"
"Does it work on ghosts?"
Man, woman, and bird alike all glanced at the door as they saw it being pushed open. A few moments later, Avery and an unknown man, most probably the fiancé she was talking about, entered the threshold looking really tired and stressed.
"We'll see 'bout that. But, ya know, my inventions always get their job done." Nico proudly answered with a huge smile on her face.
"I hope so, because our wedding is next week. And you have to get rid of that - " But, even before Avery could say the word, guest, they heard the same noise that they heard earlier on the second floor. When the weird noise finally subsided, the blue haired woman shook her head in disbelief and faced them once more but, this time, with a sincere smile. "Never mind. By the way, I would like you to meet Roman, my fiancé. Roman, these are, ah,..."
"Nicoletta Goldstein." The Artisan introduced herself as she came forward and offered her hand to Roman. "Just Nico is fine."
"Pleased to meet you, Nico." Roman, who looked really shy and awkward, kind of like the opposite of his fiancée, took Nico's hand and shook it, his slight smile and furrowed eyebrows clearly betraying his uneasiness for being inside the house.
And when it was V's turn to introduce himself with a handshake, Roman's eyes widened in fright at what he saw behind him. Apparently, Griffon, who sensed the poor guy's uneasiness, noticed this and decided to latch unto V's shoulders to tease him. Poor Roman hid behind Avery and pointed at the demonic bird, who started making silly faces just to creep him out.
"¡DIOS MIO! ¿QUÉ ES ESA CRIATURA?" Roman screamed as Griffon raised his beak and swayed his head from left to right. He only stopped when V finally gave him an angry look.
"Hey, hey! Sshh! It's okay." Avery cooed her fiancé as she wrapped him in her arms. "It's harmless. See?"
Griffon saw this opportunity, raised his beak, and swayed his head once more, making Nico and Avery stifle their laughter so as not to offend the poor, frightened Roman, and making V bow his head down low and pinch the bridge of his nose, both embarrassed and annoyed at his demonic familiar's rude behavior.
Because of that, no one could really blame Roman for being too nervous and cautious in the dining hall a few minutes later as they enjoy the Chinese takeout he and Avery bought for everyone. His eyes cautiously roam and darted from V, to Griffon, then to Shadow, who was quietly staring at everyone from one corner of the room.
But, V had other things, or questions, in his mind, on the other hand: Maria, and that boy, were nowhere to be found.
"How did you two meet?" Nico mildly asked Avery and Roman as she enjoyed her noodles.
"Not without difficulty, to be perfectly honest." Avery candidly said as she raised her chopsticks. She leaned closer to the Artisan and mocked - whispered, "I made the first move, you know. Courting, confession, and all. I even took him out to Starbucks, gave him gifts, and sang to him! I have the voice of an angel, and he's just too shy, not gonna lie."
"Whoa, Roman! Aren't ya a lucky guy?!"
"I' am." The man proudly answered, blissfully unaware that Griffon was already stalking him from behind, trying to reach one of his dumplings.
"So, who proposed?"
"Me!" Both Roman and Avery looked at each other upon simultaneously answering Nico's burning question, the hilarity of the moment making all three of them laugh. Plus, it enabled Griffon to steal three of Roman's dumplings.
And as they were having fun with their conversation, V felt those cold daggers against his back once more. He carefully turned, and as all the other noises drowned out, plunging everything in total silence, he saw the boy from earlier peeking at him behind that half - closed door with those unnerving, dull - colored eyes of his.
And he looked as though he wanted to show him something, like he was beckoning at him,...
A hand suddenly went down to his shoulder, startling him and making him look up. It was Nico.
"Let's go."
V was still thinking of what happened earlier as he and Nico followed Avery and Roman towards the guest rooms. Occasionally, he would look behind him and see the boy following closely behind without being seen by either Nico, Avery, or the ever nervous Roman. And when Avery and Roman stopped at the third door from the left hallway, the boy hastily hid behind one of the Grecian statues near the grand staircase.
"Okay, we're here." Avery said as she opened the door of the room, revealing its old - fashioned interior, complete with two canopy beds, a walk - in closet, a vanity table, and a door which probably led to the bathroom. The large window was open, allowing them to see the garden outside that was being illuminated by the radiance of the full moon.
"Whoa, this looks really nice!" Nico breathed in awe as she entered the room and dumped her stuff on the first bed.
"I'm glad you like it." Avery said, then she turned to V. "Hey, man, you can also stay here if you want, or I could show you to another room."
"Nah, there's no need! V could behave, unlike Nero. Isn't that right, V?" Nico nudged the poet once more and winked at him.
"Yes, there's no need for it, Ms. Avery. After all," V replied as he playfully twirled his cane and tilted his head to the side. He smirked at them, making both Avery and Roman confused and uncomfortable. Especially Roman, who was still being stalked by the very mischievous demonic bird. " ... I won't be sleeping much in it."
It took both Nico and V almost two hours just to settle on their room. He waited for her to get comfortable enough, and when he noticed her finally snoring loudly on her own bed, he picked up his cane, motioned for Shadow to follow him, and opened the door.
"Hey, V, what about me?" Griffon asked as he flew right behind him.
"Stay here." The poet answered with a sideways glance at his familiar. "And protect the mouthy woman should something,... unexpected,... happen."
"I don't wanna get left behind with that woman! Look at her!"
V and Griffon turned and saw the very unbecoming Nico as she snored with her mouth wide open and turned several times on her bed, unknowingly throwing all her pillows and her blanket on the floor with her flailing arms and legs.
"See? Lemme come with ya, Shakespeare!" Griffon pleaded.
V just smiled at him as he finally came out. But, before he closed the door, he turned to him and spoke, "Consider it as,... punishment,... for terrorizing Ms. Avery's fiancé."
"WHAT THE F - !"
"Maybe next time, isn't that right?" V looked down at Shadow as he closed the door and left Griffon behind with Nico. "Because for now," He looked at the Grecian statue and saw the boy come out from behind it, waiting for him to join him. " ... we have a more,... pressing,… engagement."
***
✒ Thank you so much to @micaelagua for providing Roman's name. ✒
✒ @la-vita ✒
***
✒✒✒
***
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Whalien 52
Many others have discussed this song and done it well, but Imma use it to start our move into BTS' music and symbology. Because, to my mind, it's one of BTS' best songs ever and embodies everything that's so special about them. First, let's look at the lyrics. I'll write the translation out here and not repeat the refrain, for space purposes. I'm using Genius English Translations. I'll also indicate which rapper sings which part, so you know what they wrote, basically.
RM:
Yeah, the most lonely creature in the world
Eh, do you want to know my story?
I've never told this to anybody
Yeah, come on
Suga:
In the middle of the vast ocean
One whale speaks softly and lonelily
The fact that no matter how much they shout, it won't reach
Makes them so gravely lonely that they quietly shut their mouths
Of course i don't care what's the matter or what I've now become
When loneliness is the only thing that stays by my side
I've become completely alone. It's a lock that fills sadness
Someone says "Bastard, you've become a celebrity"
Oh fuck that! So what?! Nobody remains by my side and I'm fine on my own
These words that are easily said towards me quickly becomes a wall
Even loneliness turns into something you can see
Even if my breaths are blocked
Because I'm confined in that wall
Head towards the surface of water above
Hey oh, oh hey oh yeah
Chorus:
Lonely lonely lonely whale
Sing alone like this!
Will i ever shine so brightly like a remote island?
Lonely lonely lonely whale
Like this, try calling once again
Until this song that doesn't have a response
Reaches tomorrow
No more, no more baby
No more, no more
An endless signal will reach someday
Everywhere, even to the other side of the earth
No more, no more baby
No more, no more
Even the blind whales will be able to see me
Today i sing again
J-Hope:
The world will never know
How sad i am
My hurt is oil and water that can't mix
So only above the surface of the water do I
Breathe, and the interest ends
A child in the lonely ocean
I want to make it known too
My value, Everyday
I become sick with worry, the sticker always beneath my ear
Never end... Why is there no end and always hell?
As time goes by, it's a Neverland in a cold abyss!
But I always think, now
Even if i sleep a shrimp's sleep, my dreams are like that of a whale's
The upcoming big praise will make me dance everyday
Like me, Ye I'm swimmin'
Bridge:
I go towards my future
That blue beach and
Believe in my hertz
Hey oh, oh hey oh yeah
RM:
Mom said the sea is blue
She said to let out your voice as far as you can
But what do i do? It's so dark here and there are only different whales
speaking entirely different words!
I just can't hold it, ma! I want to say I love you
Alone, I look back at this music sheet that's like a rotating song
This ocean is too deep
Still, I'm lucky
(No one besides me knows of these tears.)
I'm a whalien.
Chorus to end
Wow, really strong moving lyrics. Just by reading, you can feel the pain and loneliness that they've experienced. Now add the music and voices. Even down to Adora's adlibs in the background, reminiscent of whale songs...
(Adora is a long-time producer with BigHit, in case you were unaware.) And the way they use the "radio sound" to make RM's voice sound further away. And lonelier. The credits for writing this are Kim Namjoon, Min Yunki, Jung Hoseok, Brother(?) Su, PDogg, Hitman Bang and Slow Rabbit. They are the dream team, when it comes to some of BTS' best songs.
Then you figure out that the basis of the song is the 52-hertz Whale, the loneliest whale in the world. The story goes, a scientist discovered a lone whale in the Pacific who sang at the frequency of 52 hz. And whales can only hear up to about 40hz. So none could ever hear it sing. But it sang its song throughout the ocean, nonetheless.
What genius! Why aren't there more songs about this?!? Isn't it the perfect basis for a song? Then, they added alien to the word! The very spirit of feeling disassociated, unfamiliar, remote... unheard. The incredible word play that BTS is known for, on full display. How could you not love this song? It's not a trite boyband love song, but rather, a scream from the soul, much like whale song. Reaching out to those around the world who can "hear" this level of loneliness and want. And doing what BTS has always done... Letting the listener know they can "hear" you, too. And they share your fears. And they're in this with the rest of the world. But we are together. Our lonely songs in the dark aren't in vain. They will be rewarded with time, as in all else. Keep singing, no matter who hears, because your song is also valid and necessary in the world.
So, if you haven't heard this song, it's off of their HYYH (The Most Beautiful Moment in Life) pt 2 album. Released all the way back in November, 2015. Go listen immediately. It's obviously one of my favorite songs in the world. And I would love to share it with everyone. Even while we're all singing our own songs. ❄👸
PS: if you have any questions about how we interpreted something, or just want to relate interpretations of your own, feel free to let us know. Here or on our Instagram page 🙏
#kpop#music#positivity#방탄소년단#jimin#kim taehyung#bangtan#bangtansonyeondan#bangtanboys#bts#jungkook#v#rm#rap monster#rap mon bts#suga#min yoongi#jhope#jung hoseok#jeon jungkook#park jimin#kim namjoon#jin#kim seokjin#love yourself#you never walk alone#bts related#btsarmy
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Blind Memory
Chapter 3: Something hopeful
The asylum can be creppy yet haunting for the moment you stayed this place for a very long time ago until your sanity will drop out and get used of it as you become one of them which is called insanity. By the echoing noises across the empty halls in the early morning, the door belongs to the Rabbit brothers that they stayed and slept for god knows 9 years. Joen peacefully sleeping his comfy bed after that long hours inside the Box for some reason was his attempt to escape by the psychiatrist and the guards with his outburst, he smiled at his sleep finally had his head rest from the horrific noises, bad odors from his inmates inside their solitary confinement who are in between his cell, lack of comfort of sleep because of his restrained jacket and laying at the rough floor and most of all his hunger.
He haven't been eaten any dinner after his attempt to escape for an hour which he deeply regretted for skipping his meal and not being with his brothers as such. He was in deep tiredness as he heard shouting from his ears causing him to wake up and hurt his eardrum to who ever woke him up this early morning.
Jason: WHITE!!! Wake up!
Leon: its time to wake up White.
Joen groan in annoyance, sit up from his bed slowly with the black rabbit's assistance to carry his body in sitting position and yawn tired, rubbing his eyes before he confronted his younger brothers.
Joen: *groan* Why do we have to wake up so early in the morning?
It is 6:30 am, that is the asylums daily routine to wake up early in the morning and the start of the day. Nothing much actually. The white rabbit lazily stands up from his bed and scratching his head, looking at his brothers together with their own stretches, Helios is still sleeping while Jacob tried to wake the big black and white rabbit besides Leon and Jason fixing their beds.
Leon: White, you should go take a shower first. I could smell you stinking out at your sleep while we snoozing at night.
In all honesty, the black rabbit isn't lying. The white rabbit did in fact smells horrible because of his sweat and tears during his solitary confinement time. Joen rolled his eyes, slowly leading his way to the opened metal door before giving a small fart to make the younger rabbit disgusted from his mischief action and giving the white rabbit a punch at the shoulder causing them to laugh together before he headed to the mens bathroom.
7 am they all went to the canteen where they all lined up in boredom. The Rabbit man felt his stomach growling loudly through his ears with a sigh in annoyance about the fact he haven't eaten for a long hours and he waited impatiently from the line of his inmates are getting their food trays. This place felt like a prison instead of a asylum because when he finally made it to the line, his tray was nothing but less food or anything that he likes. However his oldest brothers told the other 4 to force eat the food that they gave them in their trays because the lunch lady isn't really kind enough to give the patients what they really like or inmates isn't allowed to sneak inside the asylums kitchen to steal food. He hated about this and went to his brothers same table they hang out together.
Eating just a small portion of vegetables, meat and a single apple at the corner of his tray, to his brothers have different foods they get but the portion of their food is less like he had except his brother Jason who was a bowl of cereal and suger for some reason. Forcing himself to eat like he didn't mind because he likes food yet the asylum canteen is worse then the school canteen when he and his brothers are just young cotton balls.
They aren't allow to go back to their cells instead all the patients will either go to their own routine, some has a schedule for their therapy section. For Joen, he has one, he couldn't just skip to meet his same psychiatrist since the guards in this place is well secure and much stronger then him when he outburst his rage toward his psychiatrist or his attempt to escape out of struggle. As for his brothers, the brown rabbit is actually been to the same routine, Jacob did been to the Box multiple times but not mostly then Joen's. Helios has been restrained like Joen to prevent him to go crazy from the hallucinations that haunts him and often go to a room which they didn't know or explore that room, Leon however been out of reality at the same chair and table with yellow flower that he pluck it out making a huge mess while singing weirdly or doing scary pranks at patients, doctors, guards or anyone except for his brothers. Although his youngest brother Jason, the gray rabbit has been to the Box for just 2 or 3 times then the white rabbit and the brown rabbit.
They all had their own daily routine, the Rabbit's psychiatrist will be here soon and he had time to go any therapy section that is available. Two rooms that he enjoyed, one was the music room which is mostly what he and the 5 Rabbit brothers was most talented. He always be there to practice dancing his own dance moves with inspiration from his brothers, singing vocally and mostly writing his own song with his own head, he is a very intelligent rabbit man he is. Speaking of intelligent, the other room he always went were the puzzle room to test the patients intelligence. Books, puzzles experiments, and interesting education is just what Joen like the most. Being the smartest rabbit from his brothers, he likes to have a common everyday questions. He may be a mentally unstable rabbit man but he is still the most smartest one of the asylum.
Hours later, the speaker called his name echoing through the halls with Joen jolt his head with a twitch then sigh as he get off from his chair and left the room grumpily walking through his way to his favorite (hated) psychiatrist to her office. Hours later of argument talk to his psychiatrist, it is almost night time with his brothers going back to their cell to rest. Joen came in the room with just 3 of his brothers, he knew his brother Jason will always be the last one to came back to the room. The white rabbit take a deep breath before yawning by tiredness again due that he is still tired from the lack of full sleep. Before he could went to his bed, he heard something from the outside of the door through the halls.
Joen look back at the door window and take a peak at the window door to see what it is.
A sound of metal wheels squeaking, loud multiple foot steps walking through the empty hallow halls that some screaming and shouting at the distance, a quiet faint sobbing that sounds almost like a little girl crying. He look closely seeing the shadows of many people coming to pass his cell as the people revealed was doctors and nurses behind the new patient while one big guard carrying a type of stroller that has chains and a strapped little girl crying with her head down.
Walking almost pass his cell, the little girl has black, long hair in a messy pigtails and a white bandage around her face to cover her eyes when she raise her head and look at Joen's door with her wet face and a soaked bandage from her eyes as if she has been crying for hour. The Rabbit man could make out what she looks like behind the bandage covering her eyes and the people who carried a mysterious new patient girl carried her to her cell. Curiosity lead to some sort of feeling, that's what he felt when a new patient came to this place, he became pity from them if they are stuck in this place for a life how long will she last long.
Jason: White?
Joen heard his brother called him from behind and turn his head to see his brother.
Jason: its time to bed.
Joen: yeah Gray, I'll be on my bed for a moment.
He soon went to his bed with his hand rubbing into his face as he groan. He had a long day of a never ending boredom from the asylum. No fun or anything new for him to see, he still thinking about the amusement park he used to have along with the circus. Yup, he still missed his old times at the amusement park where he entertained, cheer, do magic tricks and things that he loves, food which he made and his favorites that he want to devoured for his greedy stomach after that long starvation when he is finally release and lastly..... He missed his time with his brothers together with a song they all make for the longest time as a family together in one house.
Unfortunately, the asylum has become his home too..... That he loves and hated so much. Joen loves to wear all white straightjacket that is so crazy which reminds him of his crazy ringmaster suit that doesn't fit him anymore. He likes to keep the straightjacket after he release him but if they doesn't allow him to keep it then he must make one for himself, actually he doesn't know how to draw his own straightjacket design that he likes, his time at the music room and the puzzle room where he boost up his talent in the highest level in the past 9 years and mostly that one friend who is now release 3 years ago.
However, what he hates is everything. Torture, restrainment, lack of proper food and sleep and the people who put him into the Box, the horrible smell, the disgusting inmates beside his Box, the noises that he wanted to block his ears and most of all loneliness. He hates being alone at the Box where he is unable to call for his brothers that he needed them the most from the intense mental breakdown for hours for christ sake!
He said goodnight to each of his brothers as they said goodnight in return before forcing them to swallow a single sleeping pill to knock them out to slumber. Joen was in deep sleep opening his eyes to his dreamscape nonetheless this isn't his....
Joen look around his dream and it felt something wrong about this dream. This dream isn't his, the dream revealed a location that he never went there at all. The place in his dream was some sort of school, a huge school and he is standing at the middle of a open spaces. He started walking around the huge school with strong curiosity and excitement, this may not be his school that he used to enrolled but this dream just told him to explore the place.
He went around, up and down, reading articles and some books can be found in classrooms, the calendar even wrote the same year and date, rooms he could look around, he teleported to return to where he had started, then lastly he is going to explore the huge stage outside the open space of the school where he just first standing. He look around the stage first then ended to the right side of the stage with stone stairs, he get into the first step of the stone stairs until he heard a soft humming song at the stage. He didn't look up until he step by step through the stairs then stop where he was going, there is someone at the stage seeing just right infront of him with her back showing, she looks familiar to him.
There is a girl in a white dress, black long hair in pigtails and there is a bandage around her but couldn't make out her face because he is behind her.
Joen: hello?
He said giving a stranger a small greeting to caught her attention. Did he saw this person before?
She flinch from behind that someone is here in this lonely place, she turn around slowly to meet the rabbit man behind her with her bandage covering her eyes. Joen was surprised to see the girl turn her face to him. This is the same girl he just saw at the halls, the new inmate.
To be continue.....
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HOW I GOT MYSELF TOGETHER ?
HOW I DECIDED TO GET MYSELF TOGETHER?
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 16
Hey guys! I know it's been a quite while I haven't posted anything here, it's just I've been through extreme moment of indecisiveness and doubt with plenty plenty plenty of breakdowns, hesitation and fear.
Fear of what? Of not being able to get myself together and make everything move through the correct path. If you're a huge procrastinator, a reluctant soul that has that hidden glow that's afraid to step outside, hope this helps you and be your sign to get your shit together.
Don't you ever get that feeling in your insides that makes you feel strange? Makes you feel there's something wrong? Or most likely, can it be a sign that'll push you to change your life?
I got that feeling that twirled my insides and let guilt build through me and sneak into my blood, it was screaming that I was wasting my time and indeed I was. Then, I automatically smiled and I felt clips of my future self flashing in front of my eyes, I realised back then that I didn't want to be that girl who spends her day in her sweatpants watching TikToks or scrolling through Instagram watching people reach places when I know I can reach the same places, does it make sense?
PSA: Sweatpants will always be the greatest piece of clothing ever made for women.
When I got that vibe, I knew my energy wouldn't lie to me. My mood changed real quick, from depressed and doubtful to someone who's sure of what she wants to do and where does she want to reach.
In a night full of stars, here's how I decided to change the way I lived:
1. Wake up early everyday, even on weekends.
All those who know me know that I run to my bed as soon as the clock says 9:00 PM, sometimes 8:30. They'd be like, "What makes you go to bed so damn early?" "The night is still in its beginning, at its finest, why would you want to sleep now?" Etc etc.. and my answer would be that I'm exhausted or I don't like staying up late, boring answers I know, it's just the way it is. However, it's been scientifically proven that sleeping early and waking up early increase your life's longevity, and sleeping for less than six hours will make you susceptible to illnesses. The health benefits of sleeping early are endless, do your research! The point is, waking up early doesn't only have you ready the day with positive energy but it makes you more organised if you're a busy person occupied with school, career, hobbies or interests. Take advantage of sleeping early!
2. To Do lists are your new best friends.
The best timings to write your to-do lists are either before you go to bed or after you wake up. To Do lists are known for keeping you on track, it helps you plan your day and accomplish things you postponed to go out with your friends or ignoring what you gotta do to finish another episode of your favourite show and end up forgetting what you have to do. Get a journal or a planner and take it EVERYWHERE you go, jot down reminders, appointments, chores, anything that won't make you forget your duties. By doing that, you'll feel responsibility has grown to be a part of your existence, neatness and organisation as well. Personally, in my To Do list I writ down tasks that I believe I can finish in a day. For example, doing homework, writing a new chapter for the new project I'm writing, make character maps, take pictures for my VSCO, write excerpts to post on MoonlightCrossfire, etc etc. When I write my first to do list I tried my hardest not to procrastinate, it was quite difficult not to procrastinate but I accomplished 70% of what I wouldn't have done if I was on my phone all the time. So, start writing your first To Do list right now!
3. Read affirmations, pray, set goals.
I've heard that reading affirmation boosts your mood to a certain extent. I believe it's what law of attraction is about. For who doesn't know what Law of Attraction is, it's the law which uses the power of the mind to translate our thoughts and turn them into reality. Specifically talking, if you think positively, the positive things will come to life. Reading affirmations such as calling yourself beautiful or believing you can do whatever you want to do or striving to love yourself more and being grateful for whatever God has given to you will make you see thing from a bright perspective. Try calling yourself beautiful in front of the mirror, our conscience will hug you and warmth will contaminate your skin.
Praying for a beautiful day or a better life or a respectful job or a happier self by means making your relationship with God a genuine relationship even if you aren't religious will turn your tables. Whenever you get the chance to pray, do it for yourself before anyone else.
Setting goals whether they're near goals or future ones will make you feel more stimulated by clinging more to them as passion eventually strengthens, that's when you know that you should never give up on things you find your peace of mind into and unleashes your true self to.
4. Focus on your education.
I'm an average student, my grades are like rollercoaster, I reach high highs and get unfortunate grades, it's pretty normal. I maintain a good score by giving my best to subjects I love and find myself flexible in studying such as literary subjects, as for scientific subjects however I don't mind a passing grade. When you study the subjects you love and feel like shining in them, you'll study them with so much effort yet so relaxed because you are aware of your abilities in these subjects. On the other hand, the subjects that you feel like you study them for the sake of passing, you need to build a mentality that you know passing these classes will bring you closer to achieve your dreams. You have to know that the path to reach your dream life will be full of thorns and and barriers to reach the sunshine and butterflies.
5. Eating healthy + moving more.
Sleeping early isn't enough for a drastic life change if you sleep with a mouth full of chocolate or a bag of chips or a burger. I'm NOT saying you should kill your evil cravings, but try to do a little bit of swapping. Pinterest is full of recipes and swaps that will statist your craving and at the same time revives you instead of slowly killing you. I've realised that a little bit late and I felt something blocking my throats that I won't eat as much McDonald's as I used to, but we have to let go of things that makes us happy sometimes. (McDonald's is the love of my life :/) Healthy food isn't as bad as people make it look like, we convince ourselves that they're not flavourful to run back to fast food and satisfactory foods.
If you're a lazy person like I am that moves from a couch to another and considers it a workout, you might want to read this. Doing chores will have move automatically and as you move you are helping your body become more flexible, you burn calories and you feel lightweight. At school or work or stuff, try to walk as much as you can, it keeps you alive.
Last but foremost, when I write my to do list, I write a water tracking list that makes sure I drink 8-10 cups of water a day. Water is your life saviour, it keeps you hydrated, helps you lose weight, keeps you in the bathroom so you won't get involved with bullshit and drama + it clears your skin. Who said detox water isn't recommended as well? Water with lemon and mint is my favourite water detox combination, you can add pomegranates too!
6. Limit distractions and use of electronics.
Your series can wait, your friends can wait, your lover can wait, your family can wait but your future doesn't wait for you. Why? Because you chase your future, it is not your future that chases you. It is preferable to limit the use of electronics while working or studying. I'm teaching myself to get used to not be on my phone a lot, I'm teaching myself to focus without looking at my phone and surrender to surf social media, I'm teaching myself to resist it. You should learn resistance, too. Try to use your electronics when you're 100% done with all your tasks on your to do list, you won't have anything to carry on your shoulder and you can check your friends' posts and stories or watch some celebrity tea.
7. DON'T KILL THE VIBE, CREATE PLAYLISTS!
Ever since I downloaded Spotify I made different playlists for different moods and I honestly love them all and vibe to them with my heart like I can't explain how I am passionate about my music taste. The fact that people make fun of the music I listen to because I don't listen to what they're used to listen to, not because the music I listen to makes me superior, it's just a matter of taste. When you listen to music you love, your happiness hormones boost your body, mind and soul. When your body, mind and soul are full, your creativity becomes limitless. I listen to music pretty much all the time specially when I'm writing, it gets me in the mood and I get so inspired by the stories every song holds. If you're a lover of music, you're forever young.
To sum up this blogpost, planning your life out and finding yourself and getting your shit together are major keys to reach your purpose. It will make your life much easier, enjoyable, satisfactory and pleasurable. Who doesn't want that? Then, learn to live your life the way you want to live it. They say you only live once, right? Live by this motto.
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