#she isn't given a name. she's played by a non-actor. and there don't seem to be any future plans w her.

[beheworthy]

I love how in Thor4 it's clearly shown that Thor is with the Guardians for a very long time - enough to get back in shape, go on multiple galaxy-spanning adventures, and even form drinking routines with Quill but James Gunn says he was with them for only 2 weeks. It's quite literally not possible but of course Gunn wouldn't want his beloved characters to spend any time with the bumbling buffoon bully.

I hope the same is done to the rando kid going forward. Say Thor took care of her for 2 weeks and then she left to be on her own. Or better yet, do what Feminist Waititi did to Jane - 'respectfully' discard her with a throwaway line.

[the-everqueen]

Wondering your thoughts on something I’ve noticed a lot in the Sandman fandom - namely, that every fanart or fanfic involving Daniel (based on the show!!) always portrays/describes him as white, despite the fact that show!Danny’s dad is a black man…

i think there's a few factors at work. first (and foremost) people trying to incorporate bits of the comix in the absence of "official" casting (almost every fanart and a lot of fanfics defaulted to Destruction as a white, red-haired man before the actor was announced). Danny in the comix is a blonde baby and then a sort of...ghostly amalgam of a young man who never existed and Morpheus as we knew him (disheveled hair, gaunt figure, sharp cheekbones, dark eyes). what would that look like in the show? i don't know! i'm hoping there's at least a nod to Daniel's human parentage (he's blonde in the comix BECAUSE he's Lyta Hall's son, and in the comix she's blonde), but i think there are a few ways that it could be cast. Danny!Dream as mixed, light-skinned, and/or racially ambiguous could be both really tragic and really compelling: the erasure of where he came from as metaphor for his personal losses (of family, of childhood, of "personhood" in a human sense), and the insistence on some reminder of his parents, his past, as a counter to his "function." i'd love to see that explored in fic! (as someone who also defaults to comix!Daniel - though there IS a reasoning behind this choice in the LA guard dog universe and non-Dreaming aus.)

at the same time, i think it's partially a function of fans getting attached to Tom Sturridge's portrayal of Dream. when s1 came out, i saw some discourse circulating about how already people weren't ready to "lose" him (and i think some of this filtered into the whole "retired" Dream headcanons, though that's another discussion). and i get that if someone else is cast as Danny, there's going to be a...reaction to both the actor figured as a "replacement" for Tom and the character as a "replacement" for the Dream that fans became attached to. which then becomes a possible burden on the actor. Rose's actor, Vanesu Samunyai, got significant backlash for being a Black woman to play a character who was white and blonde in the comix, and i could see that kind of racism seeping into people's reactions to Daniel. (also a fan grief/sadness at the tragic ending used as a "justification" for racism.) it's not clear to me how much support nonwhite actors like Vanesu get when they're cast in these roles where fans might "expect" a white actor. (like...Riordan told Leah Jeffries in the new PJO series not to listen to the haters because he chose her, which is great and all, but...is production working to ensure that she has someone she can safely process her experiences with, is she given reasonable accommodations, is someone else moderating her socials so she doesn't have to deal with trolls?) so that's another consideration.

(obviously the "solution" isn't to never cast nonwhite actors, but there's been an increase in "diverse representation" in media without a discussion of how these predominantly white spaces have material impact on nonwhite creatives.)

last thing is just that i've noticed the sandman fandom generally seems...more reluctant to engage in alt. casting than say, musical theater fandoms, where there's an expectation that the principal actor won't always be in a role or present when you witness the performance. there's this automatic turn toward finding someone who fits, for example, Delirium from the comix in the absence of an official show casting, rather than playing around with the uncertainty. (personally i'm out here championing Bailey Bass as my Delirium face cast, and tbh if they cast the rest of the Endless sibs as white, she and Stephanie Hsu will remain my primary Del references.) which i think is common in fandoms that rely on a visual "text" for reference, and even more so for Neilman tv fandoms, where fans seem to want/expect "word of god" affirmation. again, another discussion, but i'll just say for now i think the fandom suffers for it.

[gallavich-annise]

Shameless Rewatch Thoughts! 

Iron City

Well holy fuck. This episode reminded me why I started this side blog in the first place... When it got to the point that the show was making me think and feel so many things I wanted to write it all down (at great length, lol, sorry not sorry). When, imo, the show lives up to its potential, albeit briefly.

One of my problems with the early season was how much happens and how many times things cut away and don't linger to let you really feel the emotional impact. The South Side Rules podcast talked a lot about the Significant Event of 3x06 not being given the weight it needed compared to the rest of the story. I also found the weird tone awkward in that episode switching from Ian and Mickey high stakes drama, to casual comedy from Carl and Sheila.

4x06 has none of those problems. This episode knew exactly what it wanted to do (break your heart, repeatedly) and it did it. Mission statement achieved.

What actually happens? Well, it's pretty much all dealing with the fallout from Liam's cocaine overdose. It's got a lot of Lip in the hospital. Fiona gets processed, arraigned, and bailed for possession and child endangerment. Debbie and Carl have little bits around that plot as well. Only Sheila and Frank have separate plots. Frank wakes in hospital and is told he's not got long, and Sammi convinces him to have a look at hospices. And Sheila gets into caring for kids again and decides to follow Roger Runningtree and his sister's kids to the reservation. 

The remarkable thing, to me, in this episode is how straight everything is played. There's some humour in the characters and the way they talk to each other (like Kev making an off-colour joke to lighten the tone with V, or Frank being chummy funny with the doctor), but it's not a comedy beat in the same way that Shameless usually goes for. All the humour comes from the way the characters interact with their story lines... There were only a couple of the usual "comedy beats". I remembered season 4 having very little comedy at all... I think binging it fast did obscure some of the more subtle stuff, so it's not completely lacking... But it definitely has a different mood and a more dramatic tone. It doesn't make a cheap joke after a heavy scene. Even Sheila's stuff was more sombre than usual so it didn't jar against the heavy stuff.

And it's fucking delicious. I love it so much. 

Another remarkable thing in this episode is the way the scenes are so much longer than earlier seasons. It really lingers on things, often just focusing on a character's face while they react to something. It's so beautiful. 

Just... This is the high. This is what I wanted Shameless to be all along. Using these incredible actors and all their talents, making their stories crunchy. Using levity in ways that real people do to deal with darkness. 

So where do I start with all that, huh?

Let's start with Sheila because she's entirely removed from the rest of the Gallaghers. And isn't that just the theme for her? It's entirely strange to me that she's still in the show at this point, but she is. 

Last episode we had her bonding with Roger Runningtree's nieces and nephews who he's looking after. In this episode they're staying with her, and there are some very sweet moments of Sheila's maternal side being sweet and lovely. She's so very obviously enamoured with them. I liked that when Roger points out that she's using names that aren't their real names, she says "they're the names they gave me" which just has this delightful blend of being in on the joke and also respecting them, even if it means calling one of them Stinking Wind. 

The kids are not interested in non-basic foodstuffs, but a couple of them seem to like Sheila and enjoy her attention. The older ones seem more indifferent, which feels true. Roger is very short with them about the food thing, and I disliked that even though it did also feel like a real parent thing... I dunno, he's an uncle rather than their father, and the sense that he's been lumbered with these kids that aren't his and he didn't want is sad and means that I have sympathy for him, even if I also dislike the way he treats those kids. It's not the kids' fault either... It's a shitty situation, that is actually kind of underplayed because the focus is on Sheila's response to having five adorable children to look after.

We also had a hint that Sheila is up to her old tricks in the bedroom, though Roger seems entirely okay with it. Maybe she used better BDSM discipline. I can only hope. 

After this, Roger says they need to be heading back to the reservation, so we get them leaving with Sheila giving them journey snacks. And then her going to bed and waking up in an empty house again, and deciding "fuck it I'll go stay with them". It feels, again, very much like they're trying to get rid of Sheila for a while... Which is fair enough. 

Tonally, I liked the way this segment felt. Sheila is always this heightened character with the more off-the-wall plots. And this still has a touch of that, but it's downplayed so that it doesn't jar against the rest of the episode. There are beautiful scenes with no dialogue of Sheila wandering around her house, first checking on the five kids, then tidying up and waking to the empty house. It speaks volumes and it's wonderful. I loved the way it looked and felt and the music and everything... It just felt weaker because a) the rest of the episode did so much more to play my poor heartstrings, and b) it's still painfully obvious that the show was out of ideas for Sheila. They wasted Joan Cusack and that's a shame. 

From Sheila to Frank, then. 

Frank wakes up in the hospital, and I absolutely adored that scene. First, we met Dr Zabel who is very familiar but I'm not sure where I've seen him... I looked him up and apparently he was in ER, and I watched a couple of seasons of that back in the day, so it was probably that? Which... Given he's playing a doctor here, is pretty amazing and cool. 

A lot of times in Shameless we've had these abridged interactions with medical staff, either meant to just move a plot along or to demonstrate the overworked underfunded hospital staff not having time to devote to our characters. In this episode we get two excellent, compassionate doctors that were really beautifully done. 

I loved Doctor Zabel. He was in precisely one scene and I want him to come back. The conversation with Frank is so beautiful. They're darkly comedic with each other. He's amused by Frank's devil-may-care attitude and his insistence that he's not ready to die so he won't. They laugh together and it was so sweet it made me want to cry. It's so rare to feel so emotional over a Frank scene. But Zabel perfectly walks the line between being realistic and being compassionate. He's telling it like it is, aware Frank doesn't have many options. Aware this isn't someone he's going to be able to save. He cares. He's not brutal or dismissive. It's intensely sad that Frank has been an alcoholic since he was 12. This doctor looks like he's completely genuine when he wishes Frank luck. Fuck it's so good I want to go back and watch that scene again, and it's a fricking FRANK scene. 

And the episode doesn't let up from there. 

Sammi manipulates frank into visiting one of the hospices with her, in a move that nicely foreshadows how she gets in season 5, actually. Basically threatens to abandon him if he doesn't at least look. 

And the way Frank reacts to the very idea, and even moreso to the reality is again really powerful. Frank has been so nihilistic and instant gratification-y his whole life that now he's being forced to reckon with his mortality he's railing and screaming at it. It's one of his more poignant character moments. It's beautiful and powerful and I felt sorry for him, despite all the fuck-you-Frank of his entire life. Even knowing it's his own choices got him here, I found it impossible to sit unmoved while he fled the well-meaning hospice people.

And again we have that very muted humour. The stuff about massage therapy and music therapy, and a singer playing "amazing grace" to a comatose woman could have been played for harder black comedy, but in context it's sort of humorous reality. A half smile that will never go into a chuckle. Because we're there with Sammi who is starting to pre-mourn the father she only just found, and Frank who is out of there pretty quick for someone with a broken leg and liver failure. 

"Don't put me in there. Take me home."

It's effective, is what it is. So Sammi takes him back to the Gallagher house, and puts him to sleep with various pills for his pain. The comedy beat that is the strongest in the episode comes when Carl says she should check he's breathing, and she puts her ear to his mouth then does a little grin and thumbs up. It's like a release of tension as much as a laugh.

Oh... In the hospital and before the hospice visit, we also have Sammi and Frank talking about her mum. There is potentially some inconsistency there, because Sammi says her mum lost a foot to diabetes and I believe when Queenie shows up in season 6 there's no sign of that (probably they forgot, but I don't remember if we ever see her feet so maybe she's just really good with her prosthetic). It also makes a lot of comments about her having a double mastectomy and getting them rebuilt bigger 🙄. But the stuff about Frank and Sammi's mom, and how honest he is about it all is, again, pretty effective. "She told me she was pregnant and I told her to lose my number" and describing their sexual encounter... I feel like it slightly contradicts stuff he said about her in an earlier episode (saying she wanted to get married and for him to get a job?). But Frank is always an unreliable narrator so the show probably gets a bit of a pass on that. I liked that interaction, and how Sammi walked this line between hurt and understanding. Because she was the unwitting victim and she's coming to terms with the dad that didn't want her, but does now. She does a really good job with that... I like the ripples. 

Now that leaves us with the rest of the Gallaghers, and I can't really tease them apart too much because part of what made this episode so fucking effective was the parallels and the cross-cutting, particularly between Lip and Fiona. The approach in this episode seemed to be "let Emmy Rossum and Jeremy Allen White work absolute magic" and they seriously deliver.

So let's go.

Fiona's episode summarises as "Fiona is processed at the police station, transferred to jail, arraigned, and then eventually bailed". And I feel like in an earlier season maybe that would have been all there was to it. 

Instead we get to linger on every horrific moment of it. It doesn't cut away from her along the way or fail to emphasize how dehumanising the whole process is. Fiona's never been through this before. She knows what it entails but she's scared and uncertain the whole time. She wants to know how Liam is. She doesn't have any of the Gallagher fighting spirit we often see from her. We're just there to watch every degrading horrific moment. Dumped in with at least half a dozen other women. Shoved into a van. Strip-searched. Ordered around... Not gruffly or too impolitely (by which I mostly mean the cop does say please), but nonetheless in a way that makes clear she has no choice, no recourse and if she makes a fuss it will go badly. Nothing is explained before it happens. It's horrifying. Knowing that it feels true makes it ten times worse. 

In the hospital, we see the Gallaghers waiting to see what's happening with Liam. Kev tries to talk to Lip about lawyers for Fiona, but Lip is very shut down... Given that Lip is occasionally prone to violent outbursts, I find his quiet rage almost more terrifying, because it feels like he could do anything at any moment. He's coiled. His fury at Fiona is a simmer under everything he does and shades this whole episode, even when he tries to rein it in. Even when he's focusing on how scared he is for Liam, and being there for Liam.

The doctor initially asks for either Fiona or Frank, as Liam's guardians, but he steps up... He's over 18, and is the best the doctor is going to get. And this is another good doctor this episode. She does a reasonable job of explaining what the situation is, and says that Liam will live but might have cognitive issues. 

Aside: that is a thread the show never pulled on, which is something that does bother me... There's this discontinuity between season 5 and the latter seasons of Shameless that is so sad because there are so many things they could have made a big deal of and used for really significant drama and they just... Don't. It's such a waste. It's not that I wish they'd given Liam severe brain damage, but the worry about it, the concern about medical care, could have been a great source of drama that could have fuelled a couple of interesting plot lines. 

Anyway. Through all this there are intercut shots between Lip and Fiona. Fiona walking down a corridor in cuffs, flanked by cops, paralleled with Lip walking down a corridor flanked by the doctor. Both their lives dominated and dramatically interrupted by this single event.

Lip gets to visit Liam, but only alone. And big brother Lip makes me want to cry. It's so sweet and heartbreaking watching him with his baby brother, trying to hold himself together while he must be falling apart inside. But he doesn't have that luxury because he's in charge now. It's... a lot. 

Later we find Lip filling in paperwork for Liam, and lamenting that they don't have money or insurance to pay for medical care, even if the hospital will care for Liam either way. I did have a question about Fiona's health insurance here, given that she's not strictly been fired yet? But I guess that's kind of academic because Lip doesn't have that information anyway.

Kev talks to him again about Fiona, and Lip again shuts down. Kev makes the point that it wasn't her fault and that she's family so he should be trying to help her avoid hard time. And Lip's reaction is so... Real. He's angry. For so many reasons. 

This is one of those examples where Shameless just leaves it all to you. No one is presented as right, no one wrong. They just act in character. And in this case? Well, I find it tough. Because taking hard drugs with a toddler around is something I would never even think about doing... It's bad. It's irresponsible. As such, it is Fiona's fault and I completely get Lip's anger at her. He left her in charge, went to college on the assumption that she was stable and in charge and they would be okay. He probably also has an edge of guilt because he knows that Fiona has gone from having two older kids to help with the logistics to doing it alone. But I understand why he blames Fiona, especially in this high emotion high stakes initial period before everything settles in. 

Regardless of fault, though... I do not think chucking Fiona in prison for however long solves any problem or constitutes any kind of justice. My feelings about carceral justice are not the subject of this side blog, but... I'm with Kev in the sense that I think the knowledge that she hurt Liam will do more to change Fiona's future behaviour than any amount of time spent in prison.

Lip, though, isn't in that space. He wants to punish her. And we see that when she calls him from jail. It's another scene that lingers and holds on to moments and says as much in the silences as it does in the words. On paper? Lip accepts the call from Fiona and lets her know how Liam is, but hangs up when he has to talk to a doctor.

But the pauses? Where you see him consider whether to answer the call. Where he considers what to tell Fiona about Liam and eventually settles on telling her how he is in the flattest monotone he can possibly manage. Fiona's tearful questioning, wanting him to let Liam know she loves him, but Lip doesn't listen or give her the chance. Lip hanging up at the first excuse to do so because he doesn't want to be on that call. 

It all knots itself up in my gut and twists like barbed wire and I have So Many Feelings. 

The doctors tell Lip that Liam is awake and can be moved out of intensive care but they need a parent or guardian to discharge him too... Lip could apply but it would be a long process and Liam would go into foster care. Which means Lip has to find Frank. And then we get another beautiful beautiful big brother Lip moment, hugging the adorable now-awake Liam. 

Lip tells Kev not to get a lawyer, so they get a public defender. And the public defender seems a decent sort... Busy, maybe. A little perfunctory, but decent. This episode actually does have the professional side characters being the "good" side of what they could be. With Liam's doctors and Frank's seeming like decent sorts, too... Maybe because the episode needs to strike a balance between hard-hitting and emotional and just plain depressing. I think it strikes the balance quite well, though I did notice it.

So after the very brief moment with her attorney, we get an equally brief arraignment. Fiona pleads not guilty and bail is set at 100k. 

Lip's reaction is, again, this excellent balance between the face he knows he's supposed to show and being kind of relieved that it's an amount they can't ever hope to raise. When he snaps at Debbie it's like he's saying "don't blame me that we can't afford it, blame Fiona for doing it". It's a dickish big brother moment, and Kev and V are right to call him on that, but he's also right that it's not the most traumatic thing that's happened to her in the last 24 hours. Actually Lip, that possibly makes it worse... Like shouting at a traumatised kid whose guardian has been imprisoned is... Not good. But I get where he's coming from, because he's under a lot of pressure, and being told by his younger sibling that he suddenly has to raise 10k for bail is a lot for someone who was just getting the hang of college. 

And after his lovely moment with Debbie in the previous episode, it's a stark contrast. 

Debbie runs off... Straight to Matty's apartment. Sigh, Debbie. Please don't... I mean I know your brother's a dick but this guy is a grown adult who's into a very young teenager and that's gross. Please... No...

Oh dear. She goes to him for comfort, and sleeps on his bed. And... There's the way that Matty is kind of sweet and also really creepy. Mainly because he's 20 and she's 13... But also because he takes her phone. He answers at least one call from Sheila, and notes a bunch of others from Lip where he's trying to contact her. It's... Like, I can see what he's trying to do, let her rest after a stressful time. But it's still got vibes just because of who he is. It's really horrifying and effective and so so depressing and tragic. I love you Debbie. You need a decent grown up to talk to Debbie. Sigh. 

Lip and Kev do a "round of find Frank" which is the played-straight dark/sad version of the hunt in season 1... They find Sammi's trailer, but no Frank... But eventually Lip returns home and finds Carl has returned there from the hospital and Frank is there too. So they have Frank available to help them get Liam out of hospital. 

Carl doesn't do much independently in this episode, but he does have the little connecting exchange with Sammi which links up the stories. He also steals food from Chuckie, who is sitting on the sofa watching porn, which... Yeah, Sammi not demonstrating significantly better parenting skills than any other Gallaghers, I guess?! 

Then there's the conversation with Lip over a pinched Big Mac. "Why is the world so fucked up. Are all families this fucked up?" "Not all. But some. Guess we're that extra special Gallagher kind of fucked up, though." It's a wonderful moment. Sad and poignant and real and Lip, once again trying to be a good big brother. It does things to my heart. 

In all this, Lip doesn't forget about Ian. I had forgotten this scene before the rewatch, but he goes to the Milkovich house and sees Terry being dragged away by the cops, then talks to Mandy, asking her to find Ian and let him know what's happened. Because he has too much on his plate. Which is both terribly sad, but also sensible, because he can't possibly do everything and (as far as he knows) Ian is safe-ish and well and doesn't need him as much as his younger siblings. 

Poor Ian, though.

There's a meaningful look from Kenyatta as Lip walks away. Sigh. 

The final solo Lip scene we get is so subtly hard-hitting that I almost cried. It's beautifully underplayed. He's sitting in the hospital waiting room again, text books splayed out around him and his college roommate stops by to drop off another text book and a marked assignment. First, the roommate seems like a good dude to drive across town for Lip, very sweet. Second, the look on Lip's face as he sees his much improved grade is... A lot. You just see it all. He's proud of his achievement because he's doing better. He's getting there. He's been struggling with the nature of college and now he's in it, he's there. And... Liam's in the hospital, Fiona's in jail and he knows knows knows he might not get to keep going to college. It fucks me up how he conveys all that in a complicated facial expression he makes at the grade on a paper. I am distraught. 

Before I go back to Fiona, there is a little Kev and V scene I want to mention that is also kinda lovely. Where Kev is worrying about Carl and Debbie and school and V is thinking and ruminating and feeling guilty. And Kev is so sweet about it. It wasn't her fault, none of them saw Liam. (I have complicated feelings about that, as I've said, but it was an accident, even if it was one that occurred because none of them were thinking about it). And he reassures her that their kids will be fine. It's a lovely Kev and V moment finished off with a racist joke to lighten the mood and... I could have done without the racism but the sentiment was sweet. 

Fiona, meanwhile, has a meeting with her attorney where she's told she might get a better plea deal if she tells them where she got the coke... She thinks about it *real* hard. I love that it's not a straightforward thing for her. Because she wouldn't snitch, can't snitch. Snitching is bad where she comes from... But it was Robbie, and he isn't from her normal circles and she's still so angry at him. But she doesn't give them the name. When the going gets tough she doesn't turn her back on her values, for better or worse. It's a great moment.

Lastly we see Fiona's struggles in jail. It's all kind of vignette moments. Lights out and breakfast of horror. She knows how hard it would be for her family to raise 10k, so she's not expecting to be bailed. The uncertainty on her face, the fear. The knowledge that her usual Gallagher bluster won't fly in there, and that she's probably going to be there a while and needs to find ways to survive... It all plays out in these scenes and it's a great performance. 

But then she's called away from breakfast slop by a cop who says she made bail. 

Everyone is surprised (well I wasn't because I'd seen it before, but you know what I mean).

It's Mike. Sweet lovely puppy dog Mike. And the conversation is awkward and horrible, where he cares about her but is incredibly hurt. It turns out Carl called him (which... Okay? Surprising good thinking there, I had thought it would be Debbie, but... She's busy with her manfriend).

Poor Mike. But such a good guy to bail her out. The conversation about "you're going to turn up at trial because I like my condo" is 🥺. Poor sweetling. 

And he drops her off at home even though he has no obligation. But he never wants to see her again. Which is also fair. I will miss you Mike. I love you Mike. You deserved better, Mike. I hope you find a lovely person to love who can make you happy. 

Strangely, though I do think Mike deserves better in life, he's not a character I think the show mistreated... I feel like his appearance and character was done really well, his story line was full and true and ended the way it was always going to. It's not like with Mandy and Svet and Sheila and Karen where it felt like the writing itself failed them. Hmm I wonder what those characters have in common. Tough to know. 

But anyway. 

Fiona gets home to an empty house and a heartbroken little expression feeling alone and isolated because nobody's there. But at least it's for a positive reason, because no one (except presumably Carl) knew she was getting bailed, and they're all at the hospital to pick up Liam.

The lingering intercuts strike again, of Fiona wandering around her empty house, and Lip and everyone, including Frank and Sammi seeing Liam and making a big fuss of him. As they should. 

There's the tiny moment where Matt drops Debbie off and comes in and Lip sees him and says "How old are you?!" in protective big brother mode... And I really wish that moment went somewhere. The show makes a big deal of how the moment is usurped by Liam's appearance, but... Lip really needed to follow up on that but doesn't. Which is horrifying, but it's part and parcel of the story this show is trying to tell about kids growing up too fast and making bad decisions because the adults in their life are failing them... mostly through no fault of their own, to be clear... It shouldn't be Lip's job. It is Fiona's, but it shouldn't be hers either, she just took that on because no one else would. It's definitely Frank's, but fuck Frank. Sigh.

I love season 4 so much. And I still have my favourite to look forward to!

In summary(!) what a good episode! I love the way it tells this story. The story it tells feels powerful, and even the weakest plot of the episode felt tonally consistent.

[kristianhrabkolma32]

Rehearsal process

Opening Scene

- Veronica moves from left to right, opening the reading from her diary.

Beautifu, the name of the opening song introduces 'Baxter hill high' which is the school where majority of scenes take place. Veronica is still reading from her diary which reveals rest of the cast throughout the whole song.

At the very start of this song my mind always tells to count, counting beats in time and rhythm of a song is very fundamental skill to have in any practitioner repertoire.

My role at this point is a moody teenager, who always wanted to be with the popular kids but secretly hated them which lead him to express wearing dark clothes and really going into emo culture yet he's still a geek at heart.

Going into a bit more technical side of this, ensemble has 3x8 to un-freeze from each of their position. So the song consists of beats knowing the mean of beats is commonly used amongst musicians, musical theatre performers or just performers overall.

On the second count of 8s in the music, curtain is lifting and allows me to be ready in time so my professionalism is shown right from the start. There are 3x8 counts leading into 4th where ensemble joins in on the first count of 8 count sequences. Progressing each 8th count into the song the ensemble starts on different count for three times.

For exanple:

FREAK!SLUT! BUNOUT! BOGEYE! - we start on the first count of 8.

Moving into next section,

FREAK! SLUT! LUSER! SHORTBUS! - this time ensemble starts on the second count, which leads to third change and this time it begins on third count.

Knowing how to count enables me to be on time in my place positioned, which shows commitment to knowing & understanding my material.

This link contains footage of our rehearsal process , I wasn't able to insert actual video here so I'm taking a different approach. In the first 18 seconds of the video, you can see techniques of progressive counting as previously mentioned in the sections above.

As Veronica takes us through the song she reveals the rest of the cast thus showing her emotions and setting the scene which is reflected in the technical aspects in choreography. The choreography is strategically placed along with music to create what the director envisioned . Near the midway of Beautiful Heathers are being introduced, there is change in music to more minor, this is an expression used to describe mood of songs or melodies. As Heather's enter through the archway created by us the non-populars , this is a strategically placed choreographed exert to showcase class diversity within the school society.

This footage is only to support my analysis and to help demonstrate points mentioned above, it is not our final rehearsal footage therefore it serves as a teaching tool.

Dramaclasses (2020) "Verfremdungseffekt, or the ‘estrangement effect,’ was used to distance the audience from the play and is sometimes called the alienation effect. Brecht did not want the audience to have any emotional attachment to his characters, so he did various things to break it."

Thus confirming that Bertol Brecht technique uses several techniques to alienate audience, however it can be used in different situations such as in this instance. 

Following, the music comes off into a scene that takes place two weeks late, it is stated by Veronica as a clue for audience. Brecht technique is used to tell the audience there is time change or that something has changed.  Brecht technique consists of literally tell the audience actors mood, intentions or it can be simple character change , this is shown through either literal representation of the change or simply writing the representation and displaying it.

Candy Store

Leading into 'Candy Store' , the scene is showing use of power within school society by Heather's. They are telling Veronica that it is their "job" to keep losers like 'Martha Dumstock' in their place. Martha is Veronica's best friend,  although she thought. Veronica gets blinded by the limelight as she enters the world of Heathers, the Heathers want to invite Martha to Rams party as a joke but Veronica quickly realizes what is about to happen and try to stop them. This is when Heather starts Candy Store with the infamous " are we gonna have a problem…." line to tell Veronica you're either with us or against us. 

At this point ensemble wise I'm in the scene witnessing how this unfolds, obviously feeling scared by Heathers, I'm showing this through my timid positions and acting style as they burst through the crowd of students. 

I'm not singing in this scene as our director want to show female empowerment thus giving this song stronger meaning using the lyrics in quite literal sense as Heather C. Talks about school being her candy store. The viewer can see this as a very sexual innuendo situations as we are in school environment and these are three young adolescents students in mini skirts talking about how they 'own' everyone.  

Here is a footage of our Candy Store rehearsal, this is only to demonstrate and support points made above. This footage is not a final piece it is only a rehearsal at its beginning stage.

For our final show I thought it would improve my performance, stamina and focus if I make a timetable to be in that mindset constantly.

Here's an example of my timetable:

I've tried my best to keep in sync with it , from our last performance I understood that it is vital for an musical theatre practitioner to have some type of regime even if they are not performing.

This gave me some room for improvement and allowed me to see how simple regimes can implement massive changes in a short time.

This semester I have improved on my overall stamina/ strength which I'm more than pleased with , however it gave me more than that. I am able to understand and apply my skills where are needed.

Fight for Me

Moving forward we have another school scene just after Candy Store, this time we are in groups that we stay with for the majority of time. We are watching how things will unveil with Veronica's new status as she meets Jason Dean or J.D. for short.

We're in semi-circle of students now, watching a fight with J.D., Ram And Kurt who are other characters known as Jocks.

Going into three different positions at the beginning of this song called 'Fight For Me/Holly Shit', just like previous we have 3x8s of call and response from the female/male ensemble leading into 4th eight where we freeze frame as Veronica confesses her interest in J.D. as he fights those two Jocks, she finds this very arousing. Our role is to be interactive students just like in a normal school environment when you see fights. This highlights the overall relationship within society and how it molds pupils into bigots from a young age.

Kurt: " Hey, sweetheart. What did your boyfriend say when you told him you were moving to Sherwood, Ohio?"

Ram: "My buddy asked you a question."

Kurt: "Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a 'no fags allowed' rules?"

J.D. : "They're seem to have an open-door policy for assholes though. "

Kurt: "Hold his arms".

As its shown above in the exert from our script on the page 33, this leads into the begging of Fight for Me. J.D. gets into an alteration, this insinuate the societal mindset structure how pupils are raised up in this environment which they bring into their adulthood thus continue the cycle of abuse.

In Big Fun we have a scene with Ram and Kurt, following rest of the students arriving at Rams party.

The scene revolves around Heathers, Veronica, Jocks and Martha's relationship, it is shown throughout in a party environment of underage drinking takes place. As an ensemble member I'm one of the guests at this party having good time, nothing unusual for a teenager that age he's no stranger to alcohol or even pretends that they don't know what they're doing.

In the next footage you're about to see there is proof of rehearsal progress, from the instructions given by tutor I now know that at the time I was incorrect in the technical intention of the movement.

For example: in the footage you can see my counts and movement itself are correct however the speed of my delivery isn't. We have been given 3x8 of step,step,step drag behind, drag behind, drag behind. It is put in as a dynamic change to show off that we are affected by alcohol or whatever substances these teenagers consume.

You can see this from 2:20 minutes into the video, notice me in my green cap and buckle belt as I do those steps accurately yet incorrect.

I was able to correct this once I understood the intention behind this movement and what it was representing.

Which brings us to Blue , this is the last scene that I was a part of before this world wide pandemic occurred.

There is a scene leading into this song , including Heathers and Veronica as she is called into the woods for help yet instead is misled and offered up for a daterape.

This I a kind of thing people do to one another on daily basis, 'rather you than me' type of situation.

The song itself talks about teenage boys testosterone levels rising out of control, (this is the nicest way I can put it) boys from early teen hood develop testosterone levels high enough so they are ready to mate. In this instance it is forced upon Veronica by Heathers, knowing that parental views and opinions impact their children and how they treat on another, proves why Ram and Kurt thinks it is okay to treat women with such disrespect. Maccoby (2020) states, "There is clear evidence that parents can and do influence children."

You can see this throughout the footage , it is solely focused on how the boy needs help and would do anything for you once you help them.