#she is so queercoded (though I doubt it was on purpose)

[crazy-fruit]

When you're re-reading one of your favourite childhood bookseries and your favourite character from back then is still your fave, but for different reasons.

[bogunicorn]

I wish some bi!Dean/Destiel fans didn't feel the need to defend or "prove" that Dean has been purposely written as queer from the start, as if trying to convince people who will never be convinced is the gold standard of what's true in media. Because when you take that tack, you'll only ever be half right at best.

The homoerotic undertones were in SPN from Day 1 because Kripke likes that stuff, but Kripke certainly didn't intend Dean to actually be bisexual, just queercoded when it was either funny or when he felt like it.

Here's the thing though: straight people write or make queer art all the time without realizing it. Sexuality is SO much more fluid than cishets tend to realize, and the reason that you get these stories that have a really strong queer reading and creators who go "well I NEVER" is because those creators have the misconception that Straight Stuff and Gay Stuff really are two distinct categories. And they're just... not.

And it's super unfair that SPN specifically gets all this extra scrutiny when other things don't. Esp when there are so many queer writers in later seasons doing gay shit on purpose. And, hell, even if you assume that Jensen Ackles has a hardline "no I play Dean as straight" (which lol I doubt he has because I have eyes to see with), that... doesn't preclude Dean being queer. Because straight people create queer content by accident all the goddamn time.

Look, Diana Gabaldon might not think she wrote Jamie Fraser as bisexual, but she absolutely did. Charlotte Bronte might not have thought Jane Eyre is queer, but she's wrong. Any one of you can name a laundry list of obviously queer characters written by straight people who didn't mean to make them kinda gay. Dean Winchester is not that special in that regard.

In the end, yes, of course writer intent is a thing. The author is rarely truly dead. But often what makes it to screen is the definitive version of a thing, and if a creator's personal interpretation contradicts what makes it into the story, there's gray area that you have to interpret as the viewer.

And frankly what made it into the screen in SPN was gay as shit. There is no point in engaging with or "debating" people who choose not to see it or are too media illiterate to read any deeper than the thinnest surface level in the first place.

[pandofndm]

Nemesis, Holons’ designs and the Chase family

So, I think it’s now a pretty popular speculation that the Chase family (minus Julian) might be involved with the Union. Julian’s mom didn’t seems that shoocked about the attack, kind of surprise, but not so much. And She took charge pretty quickly. We don’t know what is her current work but the different pictures we can see in the background show her and her husband being cop (or military ?), so she knows how to keep it cool and act.

Thinking right away that she’s from the Union solely based on the fact she’s not that surprised is kind of weak. BUT. Then comes episode 2 with what’s Sinclair say : “I know someone who'd very much like to say hello to you.”

Assuming he’s talking about a character we know, and we can be pretty sure it is... there is not a ton of person he could refer to. Mom, Drianna, or maybe the dead (?) dad but I don’t buy that one with the informations we have so far.

Then, episode 4 happened. Tl;dr Drianna is Nemesis or at least one of the pilot/mind controling Nemesis, and a traumatized child just traumatized another child and eveything is NOT FINE. Long post under the cut.

We don’t really know if Nemesis is a Holon or work the same way. But assuming Nemesis is a Holon, with episode 4 we know that the pilot must be young (something younger that 30 I guess. julian is 25 or 26 i think, Leon seems to be 30 or early 30′s) Thats the first thing. Oh also I’ll refer to Nemesis as a sort of entity with a “it”, because we don’t know who controle it, if there is more than one person, we don’t even know if it IS a person for sure.

Second thing : something is REALLY wrong about this mech. It act super weirdly. Its way of moving ? Very unatural. Sometimes it seems to... struggle. I thought it was just the head movement, but I saw something else when Nemesis is attacking Julian. (21:16)

First Nemesis has the upper hand on Julian. Julian hold one of the right hand, the left is pretty tight, pulling him against the ground. But if you watch again, you can catch a sort of... struggle, visible on the left hand

Nemesis has NO reason at this moment to remove its hand. Its head shake, its hands shake. Creepy and weird. Julian didn’t talk so I’m not sure if Dri, if it’s her, could guss it’s her brother.

Then, the most unsettled thing of the whole scene. All the “help me”. It’s hard to hear at first. But there is several instance when we can hear something. The person who pilot this thing try to communicate.

The first “help me” is at 20:25. Very robotic. 20:33, more quiet. 21:16, awefully human, this time. I swear I’m hearing a girl’s voice. 21:18, very robotic and low pitch, just when Nemesis seems to hold back. 21:26, again, high pitch, a bit less robotic. Seems to me like a “break me” than a “help me” but it’s so hard to hear... And again Nemesis seems to hold back again. 22:23 I hear something but I don’t know if it’s a sound effect or again someone’s talking. Can sounds like a “Help”.

And last thing before the design analysis : Nemesis is knocked out for a second, Miranda come and talk, Nemesis react to it, seems hesitant or susprise and decide to leave. It’s not just because it decide it can’t beat the heroes. The way it’s done, we’re supposed to understand there is an implcation there. It has a purpose. The person who’s piloting Nemesis knows Miranda’s voice. Again, it’s assuming this person is a character we already know. Maybe it’s a new character. But anyway...

Now I’m gonna talk design wise, using the heroes as example. It may be far fetched, I won’t lie. But it’s interesting.

Chase. Not a lot to talk about. He kinda has the “default” mech. The biggest characterization is his wings, because he was a pilot. Also the Teal blue is his color, white secondary color.

Val/entina. They’s the sniper and the stealth one. Their outif is a cloak, a hood and heels. Their mech has the same elements. The mech even have something to match the dreads. And their color is different shades of purple, with black and grey as secondary colors. I added the simple mech but I don’t have a lot to say about it.

Kazu. He’s the tough one. Cammie comment something like “do you really need to look tougher ?”. He’s the big guy, so his mech is big. Even the simple version is already a bit bulkier than the rest, and has a beginning of “samurai like” features. Also, color red and black.

Yaz. Hers is really interesting. I read several time that the whole design of her mech is based on a mythical bird creature and well, she named her Holon Huma, and the creature is named Huma. ...So yeah. That’s why all about her is so bird like. Her short hair ? Sorry but it kinda look like feathers to me ! The pendant ? Huma. The basic mech ? Has some head shapes reminding feathers. The final mech ? Oh boi it IS feather on its head baby. Also I noticed she has baby heels that’s cute. I read Huma is also associated with phoenixes so it might be the reason of all the golden color but I’m not sure and frankly I’m not enough informed about this to talk about it and I don’t want to offense anyone. Black is her secondary color, sort of.

Finally Cammie. She’s the furry one, a little bunny. She has short legs, her suit has ears-like tech, previously she had a sort of ribbon bunny ears shaped, her sleeves give her arms the same shape of her mech and it remind me the shape we usually use on cartoonish character or some type of anthro chara as well. The first thing she put on her basic mech is... the ears. Also green everywhere, and white as a secondary color.

What about Nemesis ? Well...

I think the pictures talk for themselves. The design of Dri’s avatar is strangely really close to the design effect of the nanobots. All her design is based on shards. Pointy diamond-thingy in the hair, on her dress, on her shoes, as her earring. And Nemesis ? Pointy everywhere. Nemesis’s black color is kind of purple tainted but it may be because of the lighting here. Also black is the color of the Union with red light because they are super eviiiil. Drianna’s color on her avatar are pink, blue and purple. IRL it’s more pink. But hen again it’s a badguy robot so it must look EVIIIL and Dri play with contrast, really dark with really bright and shiny.

Nemesis has heels and, I might say fck to gender cliché usually, but it’s a hell of a coincidence. Also the mech has some sort of tights, so does Dri even is it’s really different. Nemesis doesn’t have a general “””feminine””” shape, but some part are feminine coded. And Roosterteeth don’t queercode male villains.

The heroes are... well, the heroes, so they can make their mech look like them as they want. The person controling Nemesis though ? I doubt they can do whatever they want. It’s not their mech, it’s the Union’s mech. But design-wise and character wise, Nemesis design is probably a bit tied to the person(s) piloting it. It’s a show, designs have purposes.

Also to the question “How the hell Drianna can almost beat 3 full trained soldiers ?” I reply she had four years to train, she may be not alone in the mech, the mech seems kind of... more advanced ? and she has 4 arms, it helps a bit let’s be honest.

I’ll end this by adding that I’m pretty sure whoever pilot that thing ? It has nasty effect on them. They seems to suffer. Maybe there are 2 pilots, because of the four arms and the way Nemesis hold back sometimes. Who knows ?

Oh and side note : Weller and Colonel Marin did not seems surprise a bit. They know someting. Something’s up. And it’s gonna be hella good folks !

Edit : QUICK EDIT BECAUSE I FORGOT SOMETHING Julian thinks his family is dead, Dri seemed suprise to see Julian in the Ether so maybe she doesn’t know he’s alive but her mom knows ? Or simple neither of them know and fake Sinclair was about to snitch. Anyway, Dri knows, Julian doesn’t, that’s SUSPICIOUS.

[book-obsessedtomboy]

I’m like, thinking about things tonight, idk. I’m tired and I spent too long typing this up and it probably isn’t coherent but it’s not like I’m trying to publish an academic essay on this shit right this second so, whatever.

Thinking about my draw to villains that have redemption arcs (kinda)

The most straightforward, of course, is Ken Ichi/jouji. He’s literally The Worst TM and then he realizes the truth of it all and everything comes crashing down around him and he’s wracked with guilt and doesn’t even want to be redeemed because he feels he doesn’t deserve it, and he manages to fight for good until the end. There was also a bunch of stuff that is emphatically not actually his fault which he still feels immense guilt for, and combined with the parental pressure and expectations of being a brilliant child it’s all a little too #relatable for me. 

There’s then the seeming reverse--Sayaka Miki. A crusader for justice who takes it a little too far, goes through a shitton that makes her doubt everything she believed in, ends up falling into despair and wrecking so much in the process. But in Rebellion, she’s back, and considering her as she is there...as Madoka’s fronting warrior, she’s basically an Archangel Michael equivalent. A fallen angel becomes the right hand of God, is how I’ve put it in the past. But also, that whole falling into despair thing, super #relatable. I watched the series in full around the time of my first full-blown depressive episode and man did I identify with her.  

MCU’s Loki has been stanned to hell and back, but like, trickster archetypes are my jam, he is emotionally damaged but it’s not an excuse for how half the time he’s a flaming asshole, but ultimately, even if it takes a lot of shoving, he does what’s right. He’s that grumpy former enemy who becomes a reluctant part of the team and all. Not quite as #relatable, but that sweet, sweet queercoding sure is a draw. 

There’s one other particular character I’m thinking of but then you’d all know one of my guilty pleasure animes. Mainly unsavory due to elements of the fandom, which is why I don’t actively participate in it here or anything. One of my friends in real life reacted with derision when he caught sight of it in my history, however, so I’m keeping hush about it. Maybe someday...

I’ve been sticking to anime/mainstream movies because those are more widespread than particular books I’ve read over the years and all. But like, I recently reread for the first time this novel I initially read in middle school or something? Anyways it’s cute for me, because it’s this ‘evil’ dragon child, and a girl who’s a liar and a thief, and they have to team up to save the dragon’s mom and like it’s wholesome okay, it’s two people who are absolutely not heroes being not quite heroic and I’d rec it as a lighthearted fantasy read if I didn’t know it was very hard to find copies of nowadays. 

I SWEAR I HAD A POINT IN THIS. 

I guess...I’ve been told over the years, by various people in various ways, mostly indirect but still harmful, that I’m bad. I’m a shitty human. Whether it’s because I’m lazy, or mentally ill, or queer, or whatever else. And whether or not it’s actually true, it feels like it is. I’m a rotten person in need of redemption but I’m not worthy of it anyways, so why do I try? 

These sorts of ‘villains,’ I think, give me hope. We are all a mix of traits, and while some of those are good or bad, most are neutral and circumstantial, and...and even the worst of us can end up doing good. It’s not an excuse for people who are willfully evil or anything, I’m not saying that. I don’t condone villainous actions. I just...think that lots of us feel like we’re the bad guys, for whatever reason, whatever we’ve been told, and it isn’t true. And even if we’ve done bad, the average person isn’t like downright evil, we are capable of bringing light to this world instead of darkness, doing help instead of harm. 

I don’t know. I’ve noticed, in my own writing, that most of my characters are not traditionally heroic in any fashion. Some are angry, some are bitter, some are on the wrong side of conflicts or doing bad things on purpose, for their survival or even for profit. The character I’ve had the longest and loved the most over many many years, she pushes her newfound best friend off a cliff, for fuck’s sake. It isn’t done out of malicious intent--it’s to get the friend’s wings working, but like, damn, that is not an appropriate way to go about it. If I start talking more about that character I’ll never stop, though, so...

TL;DR: HI VILLAINS REDEEMING THEMSELVES IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME THAT EVEN THOUGH I, TOO, MAY SUCK, I CAN DO GOOD IN THIS WORLD, AND EVERYONE IS A MIX OF ALL SORTS OF STUFF, AND DAMMIT, WE CAN CHANGE AND WE CAN IMPROVE BEYOND OUR WILDEST IMAGININGS. 

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk.