#she is constantly scared im gonna get kidnapped or something to this day but even still she never insisted she had to be at my playdates

[muirneach]

instagram is convinced i am not only a mother but also one of them helicopter ‘crunchy’ health obsessed and overall paranoid mothers. anyways so a big thing they like over there is never allowing playdates unless if they are also at the other persons house and likeeeee i get it but my mom never ever did that as a kid. playdates r just for kids to hang out why do both parents gotta be there… did anyone here actually grow up like this im curious

[giganonyx]

TBB SEASON 3 SPOILERS

HEADS UP- I WILL BE TAGGING EACH OF MY EPISODE REVIEW THINGS WITH “tbb s3 spoilers”, AND OTHER SPOILER TAGS, PLEASE BLOCK THESE TAGS SO U DONT GET SPOILED!!!

AHHHHH OMEGA MY BABY. She has a pony tail stoppp my child is all grown up I will cry. Ok but she ate the new hairstyle she is slaying.

ERGH SHE HAS BEEN THERE 150 DAYS. Sick and twisted. She contrasts SO heavily with the whole sterile, orderly environment, it’s literally heartbreaking to watch. Forced into this mindless routine, her hopeful attitude constantly being beaten down on?? HURTING. GET HER OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE.

GOD seeing Crosshair look so broken BROKE ME. His shaking hands??? They took away the ONE thing he still had- his superior sniping skills, his steady hand. They took that AWAY from him. FUCKED UP. THEY TORE HIM DOWN. I can’t I’m so sad.

DADDY’S HOMEEEJWJWISNWIANQOQOQB (Hunter was on screen for the first time this season) (He is SO FINE)(MY HUSBAND HAS RETURNED FROM HIS HIATUS IN A TRAUMATIZED STATE BUT NONETHELESS HAS RETURNED TO GRACE MY SCREEN AND BE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE)

I had a horrible sense of dread overtake my body when he said something like “our mission isn’t over yet”… like idk I felt so ILL. PAIN. WHY do I have the feeling my man isn’t going to make it SHUT UP.

ALSO HIM MAKING RECKLESS DECISIONS???? The kidnapping of his daughter and the death of his brother have done a NUMBER on this man.

WRECKER my cutie patootie!! Yk it’s bad when Wrecker starts to become a voice of reason (which, Hunter in his desperate mindset, promptly ignores 😭)

HAHBANQKNSJQQKO CROSSHAIR IS SO FUNNY DURING HIS ESCAPE WITH OMEGA- literal snark fest

Need Omega bullying a mouse droid on repeat.

Stop mouse droid bullying 😭

OOOO NALA SE’S WARNING TO OMEGA TO LEAVE?? I’m scared. And Omega ate it up tho. She said “say less lmao I’m gone ✌️”.

Did palpy not feel a disturbance into the force. Was bro so into the “project Necromancer deets” he couldn’t tell his vessel was peacing out. Common Palpy L.

RUN OMEGA TAKE YOUR SARCASTIC BROTHER WITH U

JUST A GIRL AND HER DOG AND HER GRUMPY BROTHER EHEHEHEHE

OUGAHHH OK OK IM BOUNCING AROUND EPISODES HERE BUT STAY WITH ME

WHEN CROSSHAIR SAID “forget the hound, Omega.”, it lowkey felt like he was talking about himself. He was telling her to forget him, he was a broken animal, with no point in nurturing back to health. She needs to give up on him if she wants to move forward. BUT SHE DIDNT BECAUSE MAMA DIDNT RAISE NO UNLOYAL LOSER. NO. OMEGA IS THE REALEST ONEEEEE.

EMERIE you confuse me. I hate u yet am intrigued by u. Looking forward to her character development ahhhh.

HUNTER MY POOKIE BEAR BACK TO HIM BC that man was doing FLIPS chopping off the eldritch horror vines. They snatched his brother and he said “hell naw hoe let go of my BRO�� and just. Went to town. Me when Hunter exists 🎉🎉🎉🎉

OH OU OH IHHIWHAIANQO ALSO THE MYSTERY GUY IN THE GREEN TACTICAL ARMOR?? IS THE ONE DOING THE “TORTURE” OR WHATEVER TO CROSSHAIR AND THAT GROUP OF CLONES??? If that’s really tech I’m gonna scream. You’re telling me he’s torturing his own brother. Tech would never even THINK about doing shit like that the man just wants to read nerdy newspapers. Desecration of the nerd lifestyle. OK I REALLY HOPE ITS HIM. LIKE I REALLY DO. OOO PLEASE I WILL CRY. WHY ELSE WOULD THEY SHOW THIS MYSTERY CLONE. NO NEED. IT HAS TO BE BROWN EYES (delusion).

OK I AM SO TIRED MY HEAD HURTS MY LIFE IS CHANGING Jesse we need to cook (I need to make tbb art) BUT I AM GOING TO BED FIRST

[mychemicalaromanticism]

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

[jaremish]

I Want Him Gone - Part 2

Pairing: Sam x teen!reader, Dean x teen!Reader (both plantonic)

Warnings: Blood, lots of panic, torture, angst

Word Count: 1740

Summary: You were kidnapped at the age of 14, having your parents killed right in front of you by a demon. Tortured almost daily for two years, you luckily escape only to run into the Winchesters. They quickly help you, not only physically but also mentally, taking you in almost as a little sister. Though there’s something crawling under your skin… revenge.

A/N: Okay I know, I just posted the first part yesterday, but I couldn’t hold myself.. The next update will be some time later this week. Happy reading y’all!

Part 1 | Series Matserlist | Taglist (or send an ask)

You were in the state between being asleep and being awake. Not wanting to wake up, you shifted to get into a more comfortable position only to be meet with pain spreading from your left leg. With a small whimper your eyes shoot up looking around the room.

You were left confused and panicked, not knowing where you were or what to do. Maybe this was another set of illusions that the demon had set up. It was one of the first things he did to torture you, making you believe you were with your parents only for them to be killed constantly, breaking you down more and more.

Feeling terrified of what's coming next you shot out of the bed, not caring for the pain and making your way towards the corner. It was something you learned early, having your back free always hurt you. This way you had a clear vision on what was going on in front of you.

Pulling your legs up towards you chest and wrapping your arms around them was the next thing you did. Your leg was bulting, making itself known. The frustration and fear of not knowing what was going on forced fresh tears down your cheeks.

You stayed in the corner, feeling alert and focused for about an hour before you put your head down to rest against your knees. The black t-shirt you had on was not yours. It was really big on you, but it was still warmer than what you usually wore. It felt nice against your skin, it didn’t itch at all.

You kept staring down at the t-shirt, almost admiring it. Too lost in your thoughts about the shirt you didn’t notice the door out of the room open.

“Y/N?” A soft voice said from the door.

The sound made you jump and you turned your head towards the voice. Your whole body was tense until you saw who it was. Sam. The memories from how you literally ran into him, and him bringing you here made it into your head.

Sam spotted you in the corner of the room, shaking. He made his way towards you slowly, not wanting to startle you. When he was close enough he stopped and sat down in front of you.

“You okay?” Sam said.

You didn’t answer. You just kept staring at him, not trusting him at all. Your body was tense, ready in case he attacked. Maybe he worked for the demon? Maybe this was their new way of torturing you.

Leaving the door open for you to have a sense of hope and freedom only to stab you in the back when you started to trust them. But Sam looked like he cared. He didn’t have the same sick smile on his face like the others had…

“Can you tell me what happened?” Sam asked, still trying to make you say something. Quickly giving up on the heavy questions he asked something simple.

“Are you hungry?” He smiled after asking this. He had this calming effect about himself. A little sigh left his lips and he stood up.

“Well you must be, you’ve been sleeping for days kiddo. I’m gonna come back with some food, okay?”

With that he left the room. He came back after a few minutes with a tray in his hands. You had not moved from your spot at the corner. Sam knew you wouldn’t move up to the bed if he asked you, so he sat down in front of you again on the floor.

He put the tray down in between you both. On the tray was a plate with bacon, eggs and some pancakes. There was also a glass of water, a fork and a knife on the tray as well. He made a motion with his hands as if he wanted you to do something.

You shook your head at him, not wanting to eat the food he came with. For all you knew he could have poisoned it. Sam was pretty sure you wouldn’t eat at first glance, so he brought his own fork with him. He took a bite out of the eggs, showing you that it was okay to eat.

You watched him take a bite out of the bacon and the pancakes too before he reached for your fork and gave it to you. Your hand wrapped around the fork carefully. You looked down at the tray and took a small bite out of the eggs. This made Sam smile a little and he incurred you to eat some more.

You avoided the bacon, not liking how the smell reminded you a little of burnt flesh. You ate really slow, always watching Sam’s every move. There was a lot left on the plate when you decided that you were done with it.

You reached for the water, craving the feeling of the cool liquid. Your throat had been pretty sore ever since you woke up. You emptied the glass quickly and put it back on the tray, looking up at Sam.

“You know, you don’t have to sit in the corner. You have a pretty comfy bed in here.” He said after a while.

You made no movement as he scooted the tray away and reached over to the bed. He took the blanket and a pillow and put it next to where you sat.

“At least put this around you, it can be pretty cold on the floor.”

Sam then stood up with the tray to leave the room. He looked back from the door and smiled a little at you before he walked out.

You were all wrapped up in the blanket, ready to take a small nap when you heard voices. Straining your ears to hear what they said you quickly knew it was Sam and Dean talking in hushed tones.

“Did you test her? Was she clear?” The voice belonged to Dean.

“Yeah Dean. She held the silver fork and drank the holy water and nothing. She’s just a small terrified girl.” Sam answered back with a sigh.

“Do you know what happened? Did she talk to you?”

Sam sighed again and you assumed he shook his head or something before he answered.

“No, she’s not talking. She looks so scared, I’m worried something really bad happened to her.”

Their voices started to disappear. They were moving away from the room you were in. Still being tired you gave in and fell asleep on the cold, hard floor.

“Hmm, Y/N, tell me… for how long have you been here?” The demon said.

You were sitting in your usual chair, wrists and ankles bound by leather straps. Your hair and your clothes was sticking to your face and body. Sweat tickled your skin as it slowly ran down your limbs, almost as if it was teasing you.

“Screw you.” Was all you said.

The demon hummed as he came closer to you. He was holding something in his hand that blinded you as it came in contact with the light.

“I believe that’s the wrong answer..” He said.

The thing in his hand turned out to be a scalpel. He ran it down your arm, not putting any pressure, just making sure you knew who was the boss here.

“Let’s try that again, how long have you been here?”

“Go to hell!” You screamed at his face.

The scalpel was pressed against your arm, running down in a long horizontal line, blood seeping out of your arm. Your screams could be heard for miles away. You trashed around, trying to get away from the scalpel and the pain it was causing you.

“For how long have you been here?” He said again in a calm voice.

“One day I’m going to kill you, you better watch out.” You said through gritted teeth.

He laughed. He actually laughed. Then he rammed the scalpel in your stomach. You screamed, coughing out blood. He continued to cut you though your screaming. All you could see was blood everywhere, pouring out of you stomach and all you could do was lay there and scream, wishing you were somewhere else. You felt as if you were on the blink of death when he stopped and leaned down next to your ear.

“I do hope you remember how you should speak to me from now on. A lil tip is to never speak when you don’t have the word as well.” He whispered in your ear.

“I hope I teached you a lesson.” Was the last thing he said as he rammed the scalpel through your leg.

You woke up to your own screaming. Tears running down your cheeks as the memory flooded through your brain. You could almost feel the pain he inflicted on you that day. The door slammed open, making you scream even more.

“Hey, hey, hey, you okay?” Sam said as he ran to your trembling form on the floor.

You were shaking, panic running through your body. Trying to breathe was another challenge seeing as if there were no oxygen left in the room. You started to hyperventilate, feeling even more panicked because you couldn’t breathe. Your heart beat fast and your head started to spin.

Sam was by your side in an instant, picking you up from the cold floor you were laying on. He sat on the bed with your back plastered to his chest.

“You gotta calm down Y/N. Try to match your heart beats to my own. Feel this?” He said as he placed your hand on the sheet. “This is real, you’re here, nothing’s gonna hurt you.”

He continued to give you instructions on how to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, taking deep breaths with you. It was not long before you started to calm down. You still trembled in his arms, not letting go of the memory.

“Shh, just breathe. It’ll be okay. I’m here, nothing bad is going to happen to you.” Sam said camly.

Not long after that you start to relax, feeling his heartbeat was calming you down due to you having something else to focus on. Sam draped the blanket over you and continued to encourage you to take deep breaths. After a while of just breathing you started to fall asleep, leaning against Sam. 5 minutes later and you were out like a light.

Masterlist | Part 3 (coming soon)

Tagging

@miraxo-xo-supernatrual @bellero @chennyetomlinson @sammywiththegoodhair @im-forever-a-fangirl @whocares006 @sushisecor  @spectaculicious @oliolioxiclean @mrsmichaelclifford1 @ellaorelizabeth @iliketowrite02

[creepypocky]

Hiiii! May I have a match-up please? One who is my lover and a best friend one? Thank you!

My sun sign is pisces. My moon is Sagittarius. And my rising is virgo!

I'm a intj my personality is mostly independent, blunt, bold, and chaotic

Im somewhat shy at times definitely when im in love with someone but im also not experienced being in love like tbh its awkward for me but I try to shove it away. Im really kind and a passionate with certain things, im really psychic and it really scares me tbh but I can handle it.

My sense of style is kinda walk it changes every so often bc of my mood but my main style is vamp or romantic goth! I wear rings, jewelry, and some makeup to go with it!

My most favorite animals are bunnies, frogs, lizards, raccoons!! Maybe sharks too? Idk they seem cute & cool to me

My sexuality is so confusing rn but im gonna put myself as biromantic asexual!

Im very picky with my partners of course they don't have to be perfect but im only picky with the way their attitude and actions are! Im a classy type of gal to be respected and not treated like a toy.

I suffer from c-ptsd, major depression, ged anxiety, ocd, anemia and dissociation. I also have allergy asthma ;-; its sucks man but ill fine <33

My hobbies are playing video games, listening to music outside, doing art when I have motivation.

For date ideals are going to the arcade, going outside and looking at the stars, spending time together, watching movies, and going out to party!

Also thank you very much when you get the time to do this I really appreciate the time and effort you put into yout writing! <33

Alright, just woke up and I'm gonna work on this ASAP since I put it off last night, I don't want to be too tired to give you a good post!

Before I get into the matchup, just wanted to say I'm terribly sorry you're going through those health issues both mental and physical. I whole heartedly hope you recover from them soon! Take care of yourself honey!

~~~

|| I match you with: Hoodie! ||

Hoodie is also pretty independent and blunt, he’s a very quiet guy obviously but it’s not because he’s shy it’s mostly because he doesn’t like people. Regardless though, he doesn’t take disrespect from people and he will be blunt with them.

He loves how bold you are, it attracts him a lot along with your independence. I feel like you two are really compatible since he’s just naturally attracted to you without even noticing at times.

When you two get into a relationship, he also shares that kind of shy feeling since he’s in no way whatsoever experienced when it comes to love. But he’ll definitely try his best to make sure you’re always comfortable and will be as slow and chill with you as you need him to be. Remember, this should be a mutual thing.

You a psychic? He’s interested. Tell him all of your predictions hon he’ll spend hours just listening to you go on and on.

He’s honestly pretty indifferent about styles but he thinks yours is cool, he loves seeing you dress up into goth outfits and see how they compliment your form.

Hoodie really loves nature so he also loves going deep into the woods, which means he gets to see all kinds of animals. He’s more than willing to bring you with him to see all the animals you like and see if you two can even get one. He’s... not so sure about sharks. He thinks they’re cool, though.

Don’t even worry, this man always respects you, until you do something shitty to him, that is. But, you’re his and he wants to show you he appreciates you. If anyone ever treats you with disrespect he’s always there to back you up.

This is very important; he is there for you when you’re suffering from those mental illnesses, whether it be to give you advice, calm you down, or just simply listen to you rant to him. He wants you to understand you’re not alone in any way and will always slowly help you get back on your feet. If you’re suffering from an asthma attack, there he’ll be watching over you and helping. Just please make sure to show that contribution back bc pls he’s going through stuff aswell this man is super pent up.

He’s not much of a video game guy but he’ll watch you play, maybe even play with you if you teach him how. Teaching him is kind of funny though tbh because he acts like an old man and doesn’t even understand what the game is even if he watches you play it for hours, lmfaooo.

He does love listening to music though, he likes to listen to music with shared earbuds as you walk in the woods together hand-in-hand. Pls let him watch you do art and show him, he loves watching you work. He finds it super interesting especially since it’s you doing the art. I also canon that he’s trying to learn how to do art and get better at it.

He will 100000000x look at the stars with you babe, you two constantly go out at night and cuddle under a tree just to look at the stars in silence. It’s one of his most favorite things to do with you.

He’s honestly not the best at going into public to do arcades or parties, but he’s willing to try and go out of his comfort zone for you if you ever want to go to them. Pls he just wants to see that smile on your face and have fun with you.

Best friend:

||I match you with: Clockwork! ||

This woman is also blunt and bold, so the two of you make a pretty good pair. She’s very caring once you get to know her and tbh she’s a bit of a mom friend towards you. She’s always checking up on you and making sure you’re doing okay and if you’re not, trust me she gonna coddle you till you feel better.

I canon that she has a bunny so when you two hang she brings him with her and lets you play with him and it’s super wholesome like fjhgjkg. She’ll probably kidnap some frogs for you too so the both of you can mess with them together.

Honey, as long as you respect her she will respect you back. In fact you’re one of the people she respects the most in her life because she loves how strong and kind you are as a person!

If you’re suffering because of your mental illnesses, she’s your go to for advice and/or emotional support. She loves you platonically too much to just let you suffer alone so she’s always by your side and helps you get back up on your feet.

She doesn’t know many games but she’ll play Minecraft and Mario Kart with you from time to time. Honestly sometimes she’ll just call Ben into the room to play some games with you instead of her because she’ll feel like she’s boring to play games with unless you reassure her.

She loves doing art though and seeing your works, she loves to paint and share art ideas with you. She’ll be your main person who gives you motivation to keep doing art and will give you constructive criticism on how to improve.

All in all, she’s a bit blunt and rude at first but is actually extremely caring for you and she’s like one of the most wholesome people to be besties with.

~~~

I hope you enjoyed this matchup hon, as I said earlier, take good care of yourself please. I hope you have an amazing day/night.

Also, thank you so much. <3 I try to put as much effort as I can into my writing even when it’s not the best.

[fairielust]

yesterday !

ok ok i’m finally gonna sit down n write this shit out before it leaves me shjbgk

ok so as we know yesterday was my japanese excursion (last one evER) n for some god forsaken reason my parents thought it’d be a good idea to see the annual light festival, vivid, on the same day Sooo your girl had to get off an earlier stop @ the end which sucked but i’ll get into detail later lol

so i got up nice n early for a saturday to have a shower n do my makeup n i realised i looked extra asf for an excursion but wisteria knew i had vivid afterwards so i had an excuse lol

our lil class got to the station an hour early to buy drinks n snacks n @ 11 we were all waiting for wisteria who, like a goddamn angel, had come up the stairs n saw us sitting @ a bench n my heart stopped bc i forgot it was a saturday n i was in casual clothes n makeup n seeing wisteria outside of school was incredible wtf

also i was drinking hot chocolate n of course my lipstick was all over the cup n i got heaps shy n quickly drank it all lmao i hate myself

anyway so we’re waiting for the train to come n we’re all chatting in japanese n english about random shit like this movie i watched the night before n how we all did not want to do this speaking thing n how dinner was gonna be the best,,, eventually the train came n we boarded n i got super jealous bc wisteria called one of my friends over to talk about her major work n of course they were talking for the entire time n i was lowkey jealous bc i wanted to sit beside her lmao. we also had to change trains n for some reason it dropped to like -10 degrees ?? n we were all huddled together in a cute asf circle shivering while i constantly asked if i could (jokingly) jump off the platform bc i hATE SPEAKING n i hatE WHEN IM COLD 

all was good n we walked to the fancy asf school where the speaking thing was held n wisteria had to leave us bc she was going to be one of the teacher’s who asked questions 2 the students but like,,, we’re not allowed to go to her n i wanted to die even more bc there was a shit ton of native speakers n a few white teachers n i knew no one but wisteria n i hated it so much omg,,,

i find it ironic how i can speak japanese quite well when i’m not pressured hmmm

so yeah that was a miserable experience n now i’m so scared 4 the real thing help

wisteria had to stay till 4 (we were there since 1) so she let us walk off to the plaza that was nearby n we chilled there until it was close to 4 before we returned. while waiting for her outside the building we all decided to remix a song that we constantly sing in class that’s one of wisteria’s favourite japanese songs (by remix it was like an acapella edm remix where i dabbed bc lit) n when she came out of the building we hurried her over to where we were sitting n started n she was laughing @ our stupidity wow i love an iconic class

next we started walking to the restaurant where we’d be having dinner n it took absolutely forever,,, when we got there there was a small queue n suddenly wisteria got really excited bc she realised that this particular restaurant was the one she wanted to try for a while now n it was so cute tbh (i wasn’t gonna admit that in person tho hell to the no)

we got a table n again i wasn’t sitting beside her :(( but it’s ok bc she teased me either way. my brother had texted me asking if i was gonna get the kid’s ramen n i told that to wisteria n she laughed so loudly lmao

let me tell you. torikaraage, or fried chicken, is legit the best thing in the world. it’s not like kfc. it’s japanese fried chicken. it’s incredible. that’s my obsession, alongside ramen. wisteria on the other hand,,, her favourite drink is oolong tea n when she had it she was squealing like a little girl agAIN so not only is she obsessed with walls n green tea but she also loves oolong tea n i’m just sobbing she’s so precious :’)

we got a group selfie together which was cute <3  

after dinner we started to walk to the train station but we got lost a bit n had to catch a bus but it’s ok we eventually made it lol. 

tho,, along the way,,, wisteria (for the millionth time) had stopped and squealed n it scared me a lil ngl so i turned around n she was already running off w some of us,,, i followed n honestly my breath caught in my throat.

there like this opening which had a view of the city from afar with all the lights on the buildings from the light festival i’m supposed to be seeing afterwards. n while it was afar it was magical ?? like one of those surreal anime moments. just the five of us w their japanese teacher standing in the darkness, watching the city n the lights w the wind in our hair. 

(n i was standing right beside wisteria)

i was actually ready to cry both emotionally n bc i was so tired

we made it to the station n caught the next train n i realised that it was only two stops after that i’d have to get off which SUCKED my gosh. BUT i was sitting beside wisteria n when it got close to my stop i started to hug all my friends goodbye. n then,,, i made a risky move (in my mind, at least) n turned to hug wisteria n she returned the hug n honestly it was one of those(TM) hugs,,, yknow those rare ones that for a moment you actually believe things will be okay n she was so warm n soft n i’m tearing up thinking about it (you best believe my arms did not leave my body the rest of the night) <3

n she jokingly said ‘nice knowing you’ when i said i might get kidnapped n i rolled my eyes n laughed smh !!!

n here’s another thing: i was wearing my scarf the entire day n i had worn it today, n while i was doing something i randomly put my face in it to keep me warm n there was a perfume scent that was most definitely not mine,,, my perfume is sweet n stuff but there was a v new scent that isn’t mine, or my mums, or anyone except wisteria. bc i knew i could smell her perfume when we hugged. oh my fucking god i aint washing my scarf now.

someone (wisteria) pls hold me i’m so emotional n i’m planning on talking to her tomorrow after class to ask if it was possible to have some sort of weekly speaking practice from now to the final speaking exam bc again, i’m an anxious unprepared shit n i need actual help @ this point,,,

okAy that was a wild ride !!! if you made it to the end thank you for reading my emotional ramble !!! i love one teacher n her name is wisteria !!! <3

(also happy pride month fellow tc-er’s if you celebrate it <3)

[lastskiss]

My LA Reputation Secret Sessions Story :D

(i realize that this post is long so i decided to break it into fun little sections with names inspired by friends episodes :D )

The One Where Taylor Nation Attacked Me

On Thursday, October 19th I got the taylor nation dm :D The one that made my heart beat faster than ever. I stared at the blue little “new message” circle for what felt like hours (it was minutes, tops) and it had me crying and shaking at 10:24 am in my school’s dining plaza probably weirding out everyone around me. I was honestly minding my own business freaking out over the Gorgeous announcement when this happened. I could not believe it I couldn’t even breathe properly, but I opened the message and there it was, the all caps CONFIDENTIAL and everything.

The gag is, in the days before that moment i constantly shoved that thought in the back of my head because i didn’t want to be sad knowing that it would never happen to me. Yet even with it shoved in the back of my head I had such a feeling of hope. Sooo many people tried saying 1) taylor loves me 2) they think i’m gonna meet taylor this era or 3) they want me to meet taylor and as happy as that was for me it felt so :( bc it was such BLIND HOPE and i felt like it would honestly never happen for me. Ironically, i made so many tweets being sure that this would never happen to me, for example:

(the amount of old tweets or posts of mine where taylor proved me wrong and has made me look like boo boo the fool is hilarious)

but it wasn’t blind hope :D

Also, three hours before my taylornation message, I randomly tweeted “Don’t you see the starlight, starlight, don’t you dream impossible things!” which is....wild...like i can’t believe the universe works that way.

(point being i hope you guys who haven’t met taylor yet know you shouldn’t ever stop believing that this could happen for you. I know it feels like aimless dreams and impossible wishes but it definitely could happen for you, especially when your idol is trying just as hard to reach you.)

*taylor swift voice* next chapter

The One When It Was October  22nd

i have never felt so many emotions before in my life and i’m literally the most over emotional person in the world. my organs were flipping inside of me my heart was ready to jump out of my chest and there wasn’t enough air. it was such a feeling you guys. I was riding in my car with my parents where they would drop me off and i’d like to first of all thank the world that there is a 1989 secret sessions video out there so I could prove to my parents that this is a thing Taylor does and it wasn’t a scam and i wasn’t going to get kidnapped. My mom was legit scared to let me go and said “Lizbeth if you’re not back by 11 i’m gonna call the police” laasdkljakljs it was so funny (I got back at 11:17 she was scared but she obviously did not call the police she just waited outside the meetup with other worrisome/waiting parents) but anyway i checked in i met up with people and a lot of us knew NO ONe or just made friends with anyone we could find or some people did get to meet up with friends which was so nice ...honestly everyone in that room was just very friendly and very happy for each other and just happy in general. We were all going through the same “i can’t believe this is real and it’s happening to me” thoughts. So we got loaded into the bus and everyone was chatting and excited and nervous and excited and happy and just in shock. 

The One Where I’m In Taylor Swift’s Home

holy fucking shit??!!?!?!?!?!?! it was soo beautiful and big and we stayed in the pool area and were greeted with refreshments and food/snacks that i was too nervous to eat (except 1 rep cookie). When we were called inside, the room was very cozy and warm and there were candles everywhere and blankets and pillows and i loved it it was very intimate. I was so excited for her to just pop up and she did, she came in from the back and we all started screaming :D you can hear people start to sniffle bc honestly most of us were just on/off crying the whole night. She was so cute she did a little happy dance holding her laptop and there was extra screaming when we saw Alana, Jack, Ruby Rose, etc it was just so surreal. You guys...taylor was there..... she was so close and this wasn’t some high quality video interview i was watching her from this was my own two eyes and she was right there. She greeted us and explained how it’s gonna go and told us how excited she was to be doing this for us. You guys she loves us so much, not just the 100 fans in that room but everyone of us on here. She wants to do this, she’s excited to do this. She is also the happiest I’ve ever seen her be. throughout the whole night I just got very emotional at how happy she was and how sure of herself she was and just how cute it was seeing her so :D. Honestly, the fact that I’ve always called her my best friend but this time in that room she was talking to us and sharing stories with us like we were best friends was....wow. I love her. We danced to LWYMMD and it was so fun and the entire room just radiated :D :D :D :D!!!! and everyone was having the time of their lives just dancing with her. She truly wanted everyone to have a good time and made sure everyone knew how happy she was to have you there. Many of us have eye-contact moments and it’s completely amazing to know. Like that’s just how much you can tell Taylor was really dedicated to making this night feel special for all of us. i love her idk if i’ve mentioned this, i love her. fun fact: i love her

The One When I Liztened To ‘reputation’

just kidding i have a few words that i can say :D !

It was so good. It was so so so good. My face went through every emoji possible the whole album through. Sonically and lyrically it stunned us all and it was so enjoyable and full of bops and classic Taylor Swift genius writing, but like on a whole other level of amazing. That’s all I’ll say :D (Also the pre-releases, as much as i love them and would die for them, aren’t the peak of the album trust me, there’s soooo much more)(y’all are gonna be so shook)(i still am)(im also so proud of her you can tell she’s proud of her work and she very much should be)

The One When The Night Was Flawless And It Finally Happened

I have loved Taylor for as long as I can remember. She’s my #1. She’s always been, like she’s genuinely my best friend. Her saying “you are the longest and best relationship that I have ever had” that one time at the 2013 BMA’s was the most validating thing. Because like...i know. She’s been there when I was sad and when I was happy and when I needed someone. I’ve loved and defended that woman to anyone for years and have dealt with sooo many teasings and “she doesn’t even know you”s. So the fact that this happened was........ wow.

As I was getting closer and closer in line the butterflies (the beautiful kind) were going wild inside of me. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe i got to be here. I spent the last three days convinced i was gonna get a message that it was a mistake and she didn’t mean to invite me or it was gonna be cancelled or i couldn’t go or something because i was honestly so in denial. but it was almost my turn and the feeling when it’s hitting you that this moment you’ve wanted for so long is here is the most amazing and exhilarating feeling in the world. 

When it was my turn I walked up to her and was greeted with open arms and said “hi I’m liz” and she goes “Yeah i know you’re lizbeth right’ and i like gasped and was like “omg how did you know” and she’s like “yeah you’re lizbeth” :D :D :D :D (HER SAYING LIZBETH ACTUALLY MEANT SO MUCH TO ME I MADE A POST ABT IT) so i was like “taylor...i have to get this all out because if i don’t i’m gonna hate myself” and she laughed at me. queen of laughing. and then i just went for it and said “taylor, you’re my best friend.” and she said “aww” and I continued “like you are really my best friend. you’ve been there for me in my lowest moments and in my happiest moments. I love you so much. Like i literally sing with you in my car all the time and make sure it’s loud enough so it sounds like we’re singing together” and she laughed and went “oh my god i love that it’s like we’re duetting” and I’m like “yeah we are duetting taylor we honestly go off!!!” and then got serious again and told her about how there was an entire year period where I would cry myself to sleep every night listening to Safe & Sound because that year was so bad for me and it was so comforting to listen to. Then she gasped and said “oh my god” with the most concerned and loving look in her eyes. And i said thank you for everything and she grabbed my hands into hers and said “thank /you/ for everything i love that thank you” and then she went on about how happy she was that she was doing this and how she loved getting to do this for us and even with jack being there how nice it was for them to be seeing our reactions to the work they made. and she goes “and your reactions to eVERYTHING i love that” and i was like “oh my god taylor all those reactions were so genuine” “i know they were!” “because that album was just so so good it was so amazing i loved it so much!” and she said thank you :D 

when it was time for our picture she asked what kind of picture i wanted and i was like a hugging pic but for Reasons. and she looked at me like she was ready to #lizten which i appreciated. so i explained that there’s a picture of Taylena hugging at an awards show i couldn’t remember i probably looked sTUPID when she asked which one it was and i was like guh...idr.... but anyway i was like i wanna be on this side bc Selena was on that said and i was like “taylor i love you and Selena so much you have no idea I literally call myself taylena’s daughter and everyone agre-” and she cuts me off and goes “oh we would definitely adopt you we would totally adopt you she would want to adopt you i can confirm that she would want to adopt you”.... IF Y’ALL COULD SEE THE DUMB LOOK ON MY FACE............. GUH..... every time i call taylena mom now it’s gonna be #legit ....wow....anyway i was shook. so we got into position i was like another reason i wanted to be on this side is because when I met her i was on this side of our pic too and she goes “oh i like that I love your attention to detail”...wow.....queen of compliments. and then we :D (((also quick mention that the fact that she has curly hair again also meant...a  lot to me..not that she doesn’t always look good in any hairstyle ever but i’ve just always been insecure about my curly hair and seeing that she’s embracing hers again makes me emo.))))

so i hugged her one last time and told her i loved her and she told me she loved me and i walked out of the room still looking at her, facing her as i walked backwards and she still looked at me and that was it...I got handed my reputation merch bag and couldn’t stop smiling on my way out. :D

I am so happy and so grateful for her and everything she’s done for me and I feel so blessed to have gotten to thank her for it all.

@taylornation​ thank you for all the work you did to help make this possible for all of us too.

@taylorswift I love you and I miss you already. i can’t wait to see our picture together. you are still my best friend and will always continue to be. i’ll also be sending you the adoption papers for you and Selena to sign soon. :D

[sweetnestor]

You Look Happier | Chapter 4

university au, teamiplier + jack

platonic/romance/angst/(smut at one point but it’ll only be on ao3)

previous chapter

One of the things Jack and I had in common was that we were our best selves when it came to making videos. We brought it up during a session with Helena, then she required we do this as a trust exercise. I wasn’t exactly reluctant, but I was nervous about what would come up in the middle of this particular video.

Jack and I sat on the couch in the living room, camera and lights on us. Depending on how this went, this video would be going on YouTube, so we had to treat it as such. It was also going to be viewed by Helena, who was going to go in depth at our next session.

“Hey, it’s Bella!” I greeted. “Today, I’m doing something that a lot of you requested, which is the best friend tag! And as of… last year, my best friend is…”

I gestured to Jack, and he put his arms up in the air.

“It’s me.” He smiled before putting his arms back down. “Y’know we first met around this time last year?”

“Really?” I asked, surprised. “Jesus Christ. Actually, that brings us to the first question: how and when did we meet?”

“Ah, it was a bright and sunny morning,” Jack began, “in nineteen fifty four…”

I giggled. “Yeah, basically. Feels like we’ve been friends for a lifetime. It was last year, first day of the spring semester, Mark introduced us.”

“You were so shy,” Jack said fondly. “Aw, that car ride was-”

“Quiet and anxiety inducing,” I finished with a laugh. “But I thought you were really kind.”

“Aww.”

Next question: what’s your favorite memory together?

We sat there and thought about it. Jack was the first to speak.

“I liked the time we went to The Tube,” he said. “Where we drank a lot and someone had to come pick us up.”

“Oh yeah,” I said. “That was fun. I think I like… that time I was sad and you let me do your makeup.”

I was starting to understand why Helena made us do this. Remembering little moments made me feel a huge rush of affection for Jack. My heart was already swelling.

“Describe each other in one word,” he read off my phone.

We looked at each other in thought. I wasn’t sure what to expect from this prompt. What was I to Jack?

“Welcoming,” I answered, deciding to go first this time. “You always treat people the best you can, and you always try to make everyone comfortable. I don’t know, the energy you give off is always kind and warm. You’re just full of good vibes.”

Jack was smiling ear to ear. “I think Helena was right to make us do this.” He paused and then faced the camera again. “My word for you is passionate. You care so much about everything you do. You’re so passionate about your viewers, LGBTQ rights, mental health, makeup.”

The moment was sinking in. But to keep myself from crying, I read the next question.

“What’s one thing you don’t know about each other? Here we go, it’s time to get deep.”

There was another moment of silent thinking, though I knew what my confession would be. I had thought about it plenty of times, and Jack seemed like the only person I could tell.

“Um, I fart a lot in my sleep,” Jack said jokingly.

I chuckled. “I knew that already.”

“Well, I guess you know everything about me!”

“Okay, well I can’t tell them,” I began, gesturing to the camera, “but I’ll tell you.” I hesitated. “You’re probably not gonna believe me.”

“What is it? Just tell me.”

“Santiago isn’t my real last name.”

Jack was silent at first, looking like he was trying to see right through me. He let out a small laugh in disbelief. “No way.”

“I’m serious,” I told him. “I swear, honest to god. I legally changed my last name to Santiago a little bit after moving out of my parents’ house.”

“So what was your real last name?”

“Sanchez,” I said, and then added, “I just didn’t want to be tied to them anymore. Plus, it’s a super generic Mexican last name, and I didn’t really want to be generic.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Jack nodded. “Wow… Bella Sanchez.”

I chuckled at the sound of it. “She’s dead, I don’t know her.”

The next few questions were just guessing each other’s favorite whatever’s. Those were easy and left plenty of room for banter.

“Three things I always carry with me?”

“Easy. Phone, car keys, and whatever lipstick you’re wearing that day.”

“See? This is the kind of man I need! Okay, what nicknames do we have for each other?”

Jack giggled as he sat up. “Let’s see, you were Bella, then Bellers. Then fuckin’ Baller. Nervous Ball, Tiny Ball.”

“You give good nicknames,” I commented. “I have none for you, though.”

“I have enough for the both of us.” He took my phone and read, “Strengths and weaknesses.”

This was definitely going somewhere else. I should mention that Helena picked out the questions for us. She obviously had specific things she wanted us to bring up.

“Bella Santiago. Strength: sharp eyeliner. Weakness: people,” Jack announced, still joking around.

“Well you’re not wrong,” I said. “Let’s see, for you… I think your strength is… remaining humble. Like, you’ve made it so far, you’ve accomplished so much, and none of it has gone to your head.”

“Aw… can I change my answer?”

“And a weakness…” I paused, actually stumped for once. “Hmm…”

“Confrontation,” he admitted. “That’s a tough one.”

Helena was going to have a grand ol’ session with us, that’s all I knew.

“Last question,” Jack went on as he took my phone, “what do you admire most about each other? Oh, that’s easy. Well, you talked about it on your channel, but uh… you were in a very bad situation when you were, what? Eighteen? And you took the initiative to pack everything up and start a new life. You found a way out, even when you thought you couldn’t. And that’s very admirable.”

I let out a strangled, whiney noise. I wanted to cry at his words. Not knowing what else to do, I hugged Jack from the side in a somewhat silly way. “I love yooouuu!”

When I let him go, I took things seriously again. This was proving to be therapeutic.

“The amount of empathy you have for other people is something else,” I told him. “Like… you really can put yourself in other people’s shoes and you can feel what their feeling. I’ve told you some shit about me and we both ended up crying.”

“Your pain is my pain,” he said. “But I think that’s because we’re friends and we’ve also been in the same situation, with the breakups and all.”

“That’s true. But still. Even in your ‘Try Not to Cringe’ videos, you’re still feeling what the other person is feeling, and you’re trying to understand the situation.”

“I’m just being a decent person!”

“But you do it so well! I don’t know, you’re a good role model.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.”

I looked at him, then at the camera. “What’s one thing you hate about your best friend? He can’t take a fucking compliment!”

Jack laughed. “Well, neither can you!”

“I know…”

~

That video went up before our next therapy session. Our followers went absolutely wild over it. It was sweet. Made me smile for a little bit.

I did cut out certain parts, though, like my last name reveal. Thankfully, instead of people speculating over it, they made it into a meme instead. Not only that, everyone seemed to like us solely as friends, so I was glad I didn’t have to stress about that anymore. I could see the internet as a safe place again.

Another thing I noticed was my subscriber count. I was dangerously close to one million, and it scared me. It was such a big number. It was intimidating, overwhelming.

I took a screenshot of my live subscriber count and tweeted it out with the caption “lmao.” My heart began to race as my mentions filled with responses. Then one particular notification made my head spin.

CrankGameplays quoted your tweet: “Go subscribe!!”

I wanted to reply in all caps, but I was even more nervous about the backlash. I mean, he brought to attention the fact that we knew each other. That, and he told his followers to subscribe to my channel. Strange, a gamer promoting a beauty guru. Not the first time it’s happened, but it was still bizarre.

“Ahh!!” I yelled out when the number on my screen rose dramatically.

Jack was currently in the shower, so he wasn’t here to talk me down from my oncoming anxiety attack. He did scream back in response, though. It was starting to become a regular occurrence within the apartment.

999,028. I wanted to shit my pants, and I tweeted about it. 999,057. I wanted to throw up. 999,102. Jack finally joined the show.

“Did I miss it?” he asked excitedly as he barged into my room. “Did you hit it yet? Man, I should have brought party poppers or something!”

“Almost there!” I told him, anxiously picking at my nails.

Jack came over and sat next to me on the bed. He pulled out his phone and opened up Twitter. Not long after that, I had another notification of another quoted tweet. The live count rose rapidly right then, and I began flailing my hands around hysterically.

“Ahh, what the fuck?” I exclaimed.

999,921. I opened up Snapchat. I recorded the screen and let out a stressful noise. Jack screamed along with me as the number got higher.

I nearly burst into tears when it got to one million. Jack jumped onto the bed and cheered. I quickly tweeted out a thank you in caps lock, my hands shaking from all the excitement.

“WTF THE FCUK IM NT CRYIGNG YOU AR E TE AMO ❤💓💖💗💘💙💚💛💜💝🖤💕💞”

Suddenly, Jack tackled me in a side hug, nearly knocking me off the bed. “I’m so proud of you, Bellers.”

I couldn’t help but think that I literally could have been dead in this moment. I could have been dead for almost six months, and I wouldn’t have been here to see this. Life is wild.

~

Later that night, I was able to see Ethan. I did have to pick him up at the office, though… and I had to park somewhere down the road. I felt like a stalker fangirl, waiting for my YouTube crush to come out of the building so I could kidnap him.

Ugh, crush. I felt like I was sixteen, stricken with lovesick emotions. My chest was constantly warm, and my stomach was always full of butterflies. I had Cupid’s arrow in my ass, and now I couldn’t see anything except the hearts circling my head, and the guy who gave me all these gross, mushy feelings.

Those feelings intensified when I spotted him leaving the building. Just seeing Ethan a distance away made me grin like an idiot. He spotted my car and walked over, holding a balloon in his hand. When he got closer to the car, I looked towards the building, just to make sure that none of his friends/coworkers had followed him. It was short, but I didn’t see anything. I turned my attention back to Ethan when he got in the car.

“Hey,” he greeted, “I got you this.”

He struggled slightly to pull in the single purple balloon. It only made my heart sing more.

“What for?” I asked.

“‘Cause you hit a milestone today,” he told me.

I blushed. Thank god he couldn’t see me in the dark. “That’s sweet.”

Ethan pushed the thing into the backseat before I drove off. Today, we decided to go up to Hollywood Hills. It was better for us to go at night because there were far less people, and neither of us were busy at this hour. I had to have him navigate though, because neither of us had been up there before. Thankfully, we got there without any extra difficulty, aside from the usual traffic.

It was quite a walk up to where we wanted to go. There was a specific view we wanted to find, and honestly, I was not a hiker. But this was mainly Ethan’s idea, and I was willing to do whatever he wanted, despite the underlying bout of nerves.

“Is this high enough?” he asked when we reached a certain landing.

I looked out at the view. It was all black with many dots of light. I wasn’t one for heights, but since the elevation was blocked out by the darkness, it wasn’t as scary. The stars in the sky were covered by the busy, neverending lights of the city. My legs were sore, and I was out of breath, so I nodded in response and went to sit on a nearby rock.

“How long have you lived out here?” he asked me as he walked around the cliff.

Uh oh. Interrogation time.

“Two, almost three years,” I replied.

“Oh, you’ve probably seen a lot of the city, haven’t you?” he guessed.

I chuckled, and rubbed my hands together nervously. “If you count my skill of handling traffic from driving so much, then yes.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, I don’t really get out much.” I could tell this was going to bring on an awkward pause, so I quickly added, “but what about you? Are you liking it here so far?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” he said. “I, uh, I miss my family a lot, though. It still feels weird being so far away.”

“Aw, I know,” I said, even though I really didn’t. “You get used to it. At least you really get to value the time you do spend with them.” Again, I didn’t know the feeling, I just heard that from other people.

“Oh yeah, I loved this last Christmas,” Ethan said, pacing around some more. “Did you get to see your family over the holidays?”

Oh god, why did he ask that? I couldn’t stop the awkward tension from arising.

“No.”

Before I could explain further, Ethan stopped in his tracks and interjected, “Oh! You mentioned at homecoming… uh, I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about that.”

“It’s okay,” I reassured. Although, I did cringe at the mention of homecoming. I had to give him the gist of my family thing. He had to get an idea of all the emotional baggage I carried. “I have been living on my own for…” I counted on my fingers. “Six or seven years. My parents didn’t exactly like the idea of their daughter being bi, so as as soon as I turned eighteen, I left and started fresh.”

Ethan took a minute to process all of that. I could tell I made things awkward with that bit of information. There go my chances.

“Oh, I didn’t know that was the case,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

I waved it off, as always. “It was years ago, it’s no big deal.”

He nodded and continued pacing. “Were you scared when you first moved?”

I was grateful for the subject change. “Absolutely. I cried a lot when I moved out of my parents’ house, and I cried more when I moved here.” I paused. “Are you… how have you been since you moved?”

Ethan hesitated. “I don’t know how to put it. I miss my family, but I’ve also been so busy that I don’t really feel it all the time. And I miss my friends too… But YouTube is all I’ve wanted to do, and everything is taking off, so I shouldn’t be sad, right?”

“You can be sad,” I reassured. “Like, you’re far from your hometown and all your friends, it only makes sense. And chasing your dreams comes with a lot of sacrifices.”

“Yeah…” he hummed.

I was eighty percent sure I said it to him at homecoming, but I was thinking about it again: how lucky was he to have a family so good to him that he’s genuinely upset to be far away from them. I didn’t really envy him for it, though. I could see why he was feeling like this.

“D-Do you need a hug… or something?” I mumbled, but he caught it anyway.

A little smile began to etch on his face. I half meant it as a joke, but as soon as it was in the air, that was all I wanted to do. The look on Ethan’s face said the same thing, and he opened his arms.

It should have been a quick, jokey-joke hug. But as soon as I was wrapped up in his arms, I didn’t want to let go. I was supposed to be comforting him, but I felt so light and warm. His hand went down to my lower back, which sent intense feelings of heat and electricity throughout my body. I felt weirdly comfortable, and that was so rare.

Then, a bright, blinding light shone on us.

_______

next chapter

[punk-rock-pixie]

1-50 for the OC asks boi do 'em all

1. Your first OC ever?

FUCKIN MEI.

Cuz I was a weaboo piece of shit once. 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

Hazel and Wendy. My beautiful children. Hazel is a demigirl of the dystopian future and Wendy is a trans female elf of the same world Both do magic and alchemy. They’re gonna be girlfriends. 

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

I mean the time twins are made with the help of my friend Timmi

4. A character you rarely talk about?

That’d be Kuro. 

Made her back in 2012. She is a shinigami and she is a total mary sue.

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? 

Either of the time twins, Wendy or Mr. Wicca. I love those four so much….

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

Not really. I have two sets of twins and the others don’t look alike. 

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

Yes. Kuro was part of the D. Gray-Man series. The time twins are part of this web comic idea called Eereree. Blue Topaz is of course my gem for Steven Universe.

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs 

I don’t but here’s Wendy and Hazel

Wendy: Good evening, chaps. My name’s Wendy. I currently am the assistant of Mr. Wicca. Love to stay and chat, but Mr. Wicca has me on some errands currently

Hazel: Evening, all. Hazel’s the name, alchemy’s the game. I… also really don’t have a lotta time. I’ve got a kingdom to rule after all because, of course, my brother won’t help me. He’s a pain in the ass, but I love ��im anyway. 

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

LITERALLY TAKE KURO AWAY. 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? 

I mean… None are super like hard… Mostly Wendy is hard because she has vitilligo, and I can never remember which pattern I used for her.

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? 

Maybe Mr. Wicca. He’s always excited about magic but idk he has his points.

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

I love the other eereree characters honestly. 

 13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? 

Mr. Wicca is mischievous as fuck. He uses his elixirs to screw with people. 

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory 

I have Kuro’s backstory up because I’m on my Deviantart page for this crap. 

I wrote this way back when so yeah….

Long ago when the world was created, small pieces of shiny fragments called innocence were scattered around the world after the great flood. One in particular was called the Heart… When people discovered this “Heart” it was somehow split into two halves- two sisters with large, white wings. Adam and Eve cared for these two…. until the day the Earl came. He stole half the heart. This part of the Heart *aka Dark (obviously)* was raised to become an enemy towards the human race. After about 200 years of being raised, the kidnapped part of the heart had become so sick and twisted with evil, that her wings turned an ominous black.Her sister, on the other hand, had learned how to survive on her own. She worked in a town called Mater building dolls, playing with the children, and helping those in need. *holy beep what a do gooder* Her wings may have stayed white, but they seemed to glow even whiter with every good deed she did.Soon, after about 400 AD, the two were locked in a supreme battle. The pure side thought her sister had betrayed the human race, but in reality she was only kidnapped and manipulated to kill. (NOTE: The Earl taught her that the human race was a foul thing, and it needed to die off)) From what the Pure girl had said, the Dark girl had turned on her “father” and killed him. Or so she thought…Now, in the 21st century the Earl is back and even stronger than before. The two girls have been doing all they can to keep him from sending the universe into utter chaos and causing the complete destruction of the human race…

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

Yes! @dreamxng-forever and I constantly crack jokes about our eereree characters. Her princess is in love with the time prince, but she forgets he is like…. SUUUUPER fucking gay. “Is it hot in here or is it just you.”“Oh, Sar, uh. That’s just our kingdom’s natural climate. You see, we have lava falls…”

“Ohhh… Okay…. SO IS IT HOT IN HERE OR IS IT JUST-”

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? 

Definitely Wendy or Mr. Wicca.

17. Any OC OTPs? 

Hazel and Wendy all the way. They’re girlfriends maybe. Mr. Wicca also would be nothing without Wendy. They’re very close friends. 

18. Any OC crackships?

  Not really????

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

Chloe Lockwood. I created her in like sixth grade. First OC. I projected a lot onto her. Even though we was good at a lot in school, she was bullied a lot. She felt alone, but she had one really good friend who cared about her a lot. It’s something I went through when I was in elementary school. 

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details  (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

Hazel and Hades sing a lot together. Hazel sounds a bit like a higher pitch Meg from Hercules. Hades has my voice essentially. Both are basically parts of me in a sense of like… idk. everything. Hazel is my more like…. Confident, get-shit-done side and she doesn’t take a lotta shit. Hades is more my sensitive side. He was affected differently by what the two went through I guess.

21. Your most artistic OC

Wendy. She draws flora and fauna when not in the lab. She probably owns an etsy or something. 

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? 

Hazel- She isn’t COMPLETELY stone cold and Hades really isn’t just a shy ball. Hazel can be vulnerable but doesn’t like it a lot. Hades really can fight. He’s just scared to. He isn’t totally helpless. Mr. Wicca is not good and pure. He is actually a terrible person, but Wendy keeps him under control. 

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

Hazel started out as having my dead name, much more feminine, and likes dresses. Now, she has some form of pixie cut or something punky, REFUSES to wear something to feminine because of her mother, and is also Filipino rather than white. Hades also became Filipino. Or they might be Japanese. Idk. 

 24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

I’d like to meet the time twins. They’re both parts of my personality. Idk. 

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

The time twins, like I said lmao. Mostly the three of us share personality traits and interests. 

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? 

Not really?????

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? 

Nope.

28. Your most dangerous OC? 

Likely Kuro. Again, she is kinda a mary sue in a way. Although, Hazel IS trained in combat so idk. Also Mr. Wicca straight up has magic. But probably Kuro.

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

Mr. Wicca. He lives in a creepy haunted cabin already. 

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? 

Well Hades has a not-so-secret one. Hazel might have one.

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Okay so Wendy would have like this gorgeous like elven/fae/magic aesthetic blog filled with flowers, potions, and pretty stuff. You can SMELL the lavender off her blog. 

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? 

The time twins. Think about it- rich kids probably in a super haunted mansion. They have to solve mysteries left behind by their dead parents? Idk

33. Your shyest OC?

Mei. She doesn’t like speaking. Crippling social anxiety. 

34. Do you have any twin characters?

The time twins and Mei/Yamiyo. 

35. Any sibling characters? 

Above answer.

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? 

I mean. Most of Eereree are friends so. The main job of my OCs in an ever-changing future is to go back in time and be like “whatever you just did…. it fucked this shit up. Fix it”

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human 

I have already. Kuro and Wendy. The twins LOOK non-human, but they are. They’re just like horribly experimented on. Well, and I also briefly mentioned Blue Topaz. She came out all skinny and weird. She has a scythe as her gem weapon. She’s blue I like her. 

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? 

Mr. Wicca loves to waltz. Blue Topaz because of fusion. 

39. Introduce any character you want 

I mean…. Okay. 

Mr. Wicca has been practicing magic for as long as he can remember. He’s about 500 years old and keeps himself young with necromancy. His assistant, Wendy, is an elf who is a few hundred years old. Both work together create potions and elixirs that they give to the time twins to sell. Mr. Wicca dyes his hair lavender to keep out any silver while Wendy dyes hers blue for fun. Mr. Wicca wouldn’t be anywhere without Wendy, and he sees her like the little sister he never had. 

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

Just all the head canons between my eereree twins and @dreamxng-forever ‘s eereree twins.

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

NO. OH MY GOD I’D LOVE FOR THAT TO BE A THING.

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

The Time Twins. 

 43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

Gay. Probably not human. 

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

They’re all very unique. 

45. A character you no longer use?

Kuro, Mei, Yamiyo, and Chloe. 

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

Oh, yes. 

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

No. I don’t usually talk about my OCs 

 48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

No. They’re all garbage people. 

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

Hades fuckin ADORES memes. 

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wantIf you want, you can tag your ask answers with #yetanotherOCmeme so I can check them out too `v´9 

 have a lot of diversity in my characters and I’m proud of myself for not going into like default for them

Hazel: Demigirl or maybe genderfluid. Idk. She uses She or they. Panromantic demisexual, polyamorous. Either Filipino or Japanese. Main ruler of the Clockwork Kingdom. She and her brother are people who survived through abuse. Super toned

Hades:  Cis graysexual/homoromantic boi. Social anxiety despite having to do public speaking every day. SUUUUPER bad ADD/ADHD. Takes potions for it because “medication is a social construct” he says. Chubby boi is trying to work out. 

Wendy: Trans MTF lesbian. black and has vitiligo. Insomniac and recovering from some eating issues. 

Mr. “Wics” Wicca: Albino. He’s not sure what he is. “I like what I like. I don’t know what the bloody hell I am” loves Wendy more than anything. She’s like his little sister and is very protective of her, even though she is a capable young lady. “Wics” is the nickname Wendy gives him to annoy him. 

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Home Sweet Home

Request: Hey there, I was wondering if you could do a Dean x reader where Dean finds the reader after she’s kidnapped by demons and fights all of the demons off just for her. Can this be really fluffy?

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 2,600ish

Warnings: mentions of torture

A/N: Fluffy, fluffy Dean...

You were so sick of everything hurting all the time. It wasn’t the things the demons did to you necessarily although those were pretty bad. But it was the dull throbbing in your shoulders that was permanent, the way your wrists and ankles stung constantly, the way you craved to be able to move out of this chair again, see sun again.

You wanted to see your boys again.

After the first day it was clear you weren’t getting out on your own and they weren’t going to kill you. Demons were weird like that. You knew Dean would find you, rescue you, help you get better and back to normal strength. Dean wouldn’t stop until he knew you were safe.

It’d been a while though, not a few days, not a week. Almost two months and still no Dean. They taunted that he wasn’t coming, he’d forgotten all about you and that they’d keep you here, keep doing things to you until you begged them to end it all.

But you knew Dean would come so you took all of it and thought of every good memory you had with him.

You’d gotten used to sleeping with the bag over your head, always too tired to wake up when the door opened when they started in on you in the mornings, instead only waking when the pain stirred you. 

Today you didn’t wake up to pain, didn’t wake up to darkness. You were off the ground, being carried. You used up the little energy you had to open your eyes and find the ten or so demons you’d come to call your captors slaughtered on the ground. Maybe you recognized the arms under you, maybe they were his.

But you were too tired and your body took over, forcing you to sleep as it understood it could finally relax for the first time in months.

You woke up laying down which was strange. You had to remember that people normally woke up that way. Eventually you managed to open your eyes after settling into that nice place of snuggling into your bed, noticing the smell of grease and leather with fresh apple on the pillow you were using. Dean’s pillow.

You rolled onto your back, surprised that you weren’t feeling any pain, weren’t feeling any pain at all other than being completely run-down. Tilting your head you saw Dean passed out in a chair, his hand outstretched and laying on the bed from where you guessed he’d been holding yours. 

Dean looked tired, even as he slept, like he hadn’t allowed himself the luxury in months. He probably hadn’t given himself more than a few hours a night tops. There was a blanket mostly on the ground as he wrapped one arm around himself, a slight chill in the room without the warmth of something on top of you. You knew he’d gone through hell and the second he woke up, he’d give all his attention to you and not take a second for himself. You could climb out of bed, pick up a blanket and drape it over him at the very least.

You were okay on your feet as you walked around the bed from one side to the other. The second your gaze travelled downward to the blanket though, your next step stumbled as your body forgot how to support you.

You whined as your knees hit the ground. Your hands normally would have braced you but your weakness was hitting you as they crumpled under you and your head smacked against the floor. You managed to roll onto your back to look up and see the most fearful green eyes in your life looking back.

“Your blanket fell off,” you said, staring up, perfectly content to lie in that spot for the rest of your life if it meant not having to move. “You looked cold.”

Dean gave you a sad smile but didn’t saying anything. He simply slipped out of his chair, down to his knees and cradled you so he could put you back on the bed. He put a hand on your head where you were sure a bruise was forming and sighed.

“You okay?” you said in unison.

“Yeah, I’m gonna be okay again,” said Dean, smiling, running his thumb over the bump that was forming. “Cas couldn’t heal you all the way. He has to rest up and finish in a few days. He’s sorry he can’t get you better all at once.”

“That’s okay,” you said, closing your eyes, relishing in Dean’s touch.

“I’ll take care of you,” he said quietly. You popped open an eye to see him still looking sad. 

“Thank you for saving me,” you said, reaching up to hold his hand. “I knew you’d bring me home again.”

“I-”

“Dean,” you groaned, his eyes going wide as he feared you were in pain. “Sit next to me and just listen for a minute okay?”

“Okay,” said Dean, hesitantly climbing onto the bed, sitting up against the headboard, helping you when he saw you wanted to sit up and lean against him.

“I didn’t have much to do but think all that time and the one thing I kept coming back to was how you were going to punish yourself for this, somehow make this on you. I don’t care how long it took. I don’t care that you probably took one look at me and thought of how if you’d just been a little faster maybe I wouldn’t have been so bad off. I don’t want you to think any of this is your fault. You’re the good guy, my hero in all this. Honestly, it’s starting to catch up with me and I just want to curl into you and know you’ll protect me. I don’t want to be scared that you’re hurting. I’m tired of being scared, Dean,” you said. Dean held in a big long breath before finally exhaling. He said nothing but he pulled you into his lap, throwing the covers over the two of you, one arm across your chest, holding you tight against his.

“You don’t have to be scared anymore, sweetheart,” said Dean, resting his chin on top of your head. “I gotcha. I gotcha.”

You stayed that way a long time, silently comforting one another. Dean held on, afraid to ever let you go again, you never wanting him to. But you couldn’t stay in that bed forever and there was one thing you desperately wanted after all this time.

“Dean, can you help me take a shower?” you asked, lulling out of the calm state he’d helped you fall into.

“Of course,” said Dean, helping you to sit up. “Afterwords do you want to try having some food?”

“Um, okay, yeah,” you said, feeling Dean’s stare behind you. “I didn’t really get to eat much so don’t make any big meal or anything. It’ll go to waste.”

“You don’t have to ration your food anymore, sweetie,” said Dean, swinging his legs over the bed and going to your closet, pulling out his favorite shirt you wore to bed and a pair of warm sweatpants for you. “Anything you want you can have. Sam can go run out and grab it while we wash you up.”

“Pizza? And something with chocolate? I’ve been craving it for three weeks,” you said, sliding your covers off. 

“I’ll go tell Sammy and ask him to pick up some of your favorites at the grocery store while he’s out,” said Dean, kneeling down in front of you. “I want you to stay in this bed until I get back. You’re letting me take care of you, remember?”

“Sure,” you said, Dean standing up and giving your lips a kiss, like he was never going to catch up on all the ones he missed out on. “Why haven’t the guys come to see me?”

“They did while you were sleeping,” said Dean, pausing at the doorway. “I asked them to give you some space. You try to be tough for us sometimes and I want you to just feel however you want to right now, not be scared to be how you’re feeling.”

“I am,” you said, knowing it was okay again. “I want the guys at dinner though. I want my family.”

“You got it sweetheart. I’ll be back in two minutes,” said Dean, walking out the door with your clothes. He was back in less time than that, strong arms waiting to carry you.

“I want to try walking,” you said, holding out your hands for Dean to help you stand. He only shook his head. “Please Dean?”

He sighed but helped you to your feet, one arm wrapped tightly around your waist, the other on your upper arm, carrying most of your weight for you. You got to the doorway but could feel your legs starting to give out again. 

“Need you,” you got out, Dean’s hand on your arm falling away to scoop up your legs and carry you again. “Sorry, I thought I could do it.”

“I told you, I got you,” said Dean, moving with no effort at all down the hall, setting you down on a shower bench that normally held towels instead of being actually used by anyone. “Do you mind if I take off my clothes too?”

“God no,” you said, not expecting him to have jumped in there with you fully clothed in the first place. “I can in fact take a shower with you without having sex.”

“This’ll be one of the few then,” said Dean with a chuckle, moving over to you. He was careful in how he helped you out of your clothes, noticing how you winced when forced to move your shoulders that far. Glancing down at your body, it looked the same as before if not a little smaller from your lack of proper diet. Dean noticed that as well, one of his hands ghosting over a rib that seemed too prominent.

“Just a couple days and then you’ll be healthy again,” Dean said, more for himself than you. He took off his shirt and pants, getting down to nothing as he turned his attention on you. He realized you wouldn’t be able to stand and instead picked the bench you were on off the ground and put it under the shower head. He stood in front of the water to make sure it wouldn’t be too hot for you before stepping to the side.

“Ahh,” you moaned, the feeling of warm water running over you the best medicine thus far. Dean adjusted the shower head and soon you were already feeling the grime of two months come off.

“Body or hair first?” he asked, holding up a few different bottles in each hand.

“Don’t care,” you said, ready to fall asleep right there. Dean picked your body wash first, putting a generous amount in his hands and then some face wash in yours.

Dean had washed you before, several times in fact. Most of them as foreplay, once when you had a large gash on your back that made it impossible for you to clean yourself. But this was different.

There was nothing sexual about it, even if the touches were soft, rubbing the dirt, sweat and blood from your pores. You took care of scrubbing your face, your arms growing achy after not long. Dean avoided your more private areas, letting you wash those yourself until you were a bubbly and tired mess. Dean moved the shower head to your hair and grabbed your shampoo, squeezing out more than necessary but you didn’t mind if he wasted it. 

“Mhm,” you hummed, his fingers running into your scalp and through the strands, washing away every last trace of that awful place. Your mind drifted and you settled into the feelings of warmth and safety you had, of knowing Dean was by your side again.

He helped get all the soap off your body as you told him the rest of your normal routine could wait. He got a towel around you and one in your hair quickly after turning off the water, moving you into a dry seat as he quickly patted himself off and dressed again. 

You weren’t expecting him to pull out your hair dryer and start helping to move it over your wet hair. 

“I want to,” he said before you could utter a thank you. When he had you dry and warm, he helped get you into your clothes, his larger shirt going on easier than your own had come off. You sat there on the seat, warm and clean as he picked up, feeling your eyes on him. “You okay?”

“You’re perfect okay? Whenever you feel bad about yourself, just remember that I think you’re perfect,” you said, Dean giving a small and shy smile.

“We’re home with food!” you heard Sam shout. Dean picked you up again, piggyback style this time so you looked a little less helpless and carried you into the kitchen where Sam and Cas were pulling out plates.

“Hi guys,” you said, resting your head against Dean’s. Dean got the message and sat you down at the table, closest to the wall so you had something to lean back against.

“Hey, Y/N,” said Sam, like it was any other night and he’d picked up pizza. “I got you some brownies from the bakery on fifth you like.”

“Thanks Sam,” you said, finding Cas put a plate with pizza and the chocolate dessert down in front of you. “Thank you as well Cas.”

“I apologize that I can’t do it all at once,” he said, ducking his head down. “Your injuries were severe and-”

“Just say you’re welcome and forget about it Cas,” you said, motioning for him to sit down. “So, what’d I miss while I was gone?”

“Dean decided he’s going to-”

“Shut it Sam,” said Dean, catching your furrowed brows. “Don’t want to spoil it.”

“Can I make one more request before we start dinner?” you asked, all three men at the table nodding. “Next time one of you gets kidnapped alright?”

“It’s Cas or Dean’s turn next I think,” joked Sam. “I got shot last time.”

“You got caught by that crazy family actually. You gotta work on that Sammy,” joked Dean. “I hardly ever-”

“Dean you have probably been taken the most out of any of us,” said Cas with a chuckle of his own. “You have a way of angering people.”

“How about no one gets kidnapped?” said Dean, picking up his pizza. “That sounds like a good plan to me.” You nodded as you poked at your food, unused to having something hot to eat, something with flavor. “Y/N?”

“Hm?” you asked, noticing all three watching you carefully.

“I can cut it up for you if you want so you can eat it easier,” asked Dean, putting his slice down.

“That’s not…” you started but you remembered what Dean said before, about not having to act tough. “That’d be great.”

Dean smiled as he grabbed your plate, returning a minute later with the pieces in manageable sizes and a fork. 

“Better?” he asked, using a knife and fork of his own to cut up his slice, just so you wouldn’t feel silly eating like that.

“Yeah,” you said, smiling at him, so thankful for him in your life. “I’m going to be okay again.”

@anokhi07 @xxwinchester-22xx @charliebradbury1104 @everyday-supernatural-af @squirels-angels-and-moose @youwerelikeadream @drugpug@darkx143 @kristaparadowski @tom-is-in-my-tardis @tanithlowisabamf @smoothdogsgirl @dancingalone21 @ktrivia @demonic-meatball  @oaisara @feelmyroarrrr  @illisea @cojootromuelle @gallifreyansass@fangirl1802 @angelwingsandsupernaturalthings @itstheprincess @casgetoutofmydiddlydarnass @mogaruke@secretlyfurrydragon @perpetualabsurdity @ria132love @heycassbutt-67 @aingealcethlenn @docharleythegeekqueen  @missmotherhen@smacklesandstretch67 @ceeceewinchester  @tumblinwith-me @xfanqirlinq @heaven-is-aplaceonearthwithyou @zippybee

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Sometimes my brother stays in the house all night. And annoys my kid.

But after tonight i see why.

He had to register his hands as militant weapons. He said militant. lol.

He was in karate all through elementary minus some years and some high school.

He knocked me out with two fingers once then started crying cause he thought I was dead. My mom didn't care. She told him good job.

My little brother paralyzed my arm once by jabbing it. That shit hurt. It was temporary but my arm was sore for days.

So obviously neither are afraid. They have skills,i always believed out powered my own.

I woke my brother up to open a jar but he couldn't either so soon after he went to his home. He said for some,reason no one was outside.

He knows Jesse i know he does cause we used to work the same gas station. Jesse and Stewie are the same but I call him stewie after the Family Guy baby cause he always tries to kill his mom.

He went to ministry school for college and has all kinds of degrees in philosophy and church and all that.

Anyways stewie got a job with my brother at nights and my brother got him fired.

I got him banned but our boss was a bitch thinking about her pussy.

Anyways. So he gets those feels when,there is dumb asses thinking they got a brain.

Me and my kid do too but its different. We don't live by them.

Usually she comes out for a little while with me but she said tonihht she had a feeling she djdnt want,to.

But I know at home,she gets them. Because one of us will sleep,at different times and one of us is always awake.

Thats whn i knpw some type monster you wish only lived under beds has been outside,

I dont say anything. But I think we both know.

.....

I went out again, this time with the light off and smoked. 4th cigar later and my sinus feel great!!

....

I could hear joints pop. Starchy grass being stepped on. And a chain.

I could feel a vehicle's presence. One with people in it.

.....

I heard the truck start drive slowly up,the north mesa. I could hear for so long i knew they were stopped.

...

Random dogs had barked. First in the yard then one 3 acres away. Then in the yard again.

I listened to how many birds chirped and how.

....

I knew someone was there when i moved my foot there was another sound... When you concentrate on doing something and you focus on it... I didn't hear the sound until i had already focused to move..its a random thing but always valid. If i move my foot someone else is moving theirs.

Its a constant.

......

I said shhh to the dogs. I whispered a loud hey that echoed to the weakling that couldn't stand still on the other side of the fence.

No one appropriately responded.

.....

I heard the there's a mother fucker there bark.

....

So i went in and as soon as I did that coward ass took off running to his waiting truck.

.....

I unfortunately can feel people's emotions. So i felt him being terrified. I also felt his chest heaving after running when i went in.

I feel his backward heart hurt the last two nights.

.....

#fbi he wants to kill me but he doesn't know how. Hes wanted to for 20 years after he believed jesse James killed my kids. That's why other people call him Jesse. Ive admitted to be fuddled about certsin things and barely have a glimpse of things. He had me,take an abundance of pills once to over dose. Right after the babies were murdered by their grandpa.

And hes tried to kill me and Annie multiple times.

The only person he has a right to kill is himself or anyone that is trying to kill him -- except when he decided to kill them first. Like me. Because I will kill him.

But if someone like wanted to mug him and had a gun then its okay to defend yourself as best as you can. The goal being to get them away from you and disarmed if possible. But not always death is the answer dependin on who it is.

.....

And since he collaborates with Denise, she focuses him on killing me. So he has a right to kill her to shut her up. Becsuse this is an extreme 20 plus year issue. Its not an issue for every one. Its not always the answer.

But in this case it is.

......

Stewart often has someone drop him off where i am,then he walks where I can see him. Then he has them pick him up.

Lately I've honked at him and given him the bird. Just so he knows i see him and i still hate him and i will kill him.

Denise was driving today so i couldn't but i yelled my hate at him,anyways.

.....

Weird was when i got,to the gas station there was a black girl in the back seat of a red SUV with huge eyes like she was a victim of human trafficking. But I always see cops there. And all the Windows were down. IDK why people look like that. Last,time they were worrief about my tire. Windows were down some,dude was outside smoking. She could had screamed. She seemed to be the only one there,

Just a random thing.

------

I was really worried about him going through the,gate. Because they wantef me to sit where I was safe and could see through the fence. But i was super close to the gate and i could hear him within the outer fence. Theres like 4 fences and shit... So he was within the half yard where I was but outside of,the porch fence.

So trespassing. New Mexico law is i can fight back with an equal or lesser weapon. Since he uses needles... And I'm handicapped. I can use a broom, chair, table. Pretty much anything i want but a gun. I could use a knife cause they're close to needles. He uses insulin so a big butcher knife.. Since I'm diabetic ... Insulin won't bother me much but he does use extremely high doses which would cause me to pass out. So then i would be able to equalize that with a stun gun which i have, pepper spray which i have. And blood loss from a butcher knife will cause him to pass out.

Now here I'm not suppose to equalize his crime and kidnap him.

But since I know he wants to kill me, has kidnapped me, etc....

They asked me what i would say if he ends up missing.

I don't care. That was my answer. I don't fucking care. Ive been complaining about him for years.

He tried to kill me and my daughter Annie. Hes constantly harassing us. He follows us. There's records.

If i go through the trouble of disposing him. Dude. They already fucking know where he is. They fucking watch me. They can push rewind on the dam satellite,

So seriously. I go through the trouble of disposing him myself or with my family don't fucking say shit but thank you snd pay me a reward.

Call me,crazy but im fucking telling you. So PREVENT IT.

Or don't bother arresting me or asking where is currently 50 extra pound ass is.

Lets not play dumb, here. Get someone smarter than you if you don't understand, #FBI

Self defense. Hes a threat and has been. Hrs fucking crazier than me,

We all know i can go sociopath, psychopath, serial killer. I can do them all all day any day.

Yes he is crazier than me because he can't go sane.

And despite me sounding crazy. I am actually sane.

......

So. He is terrified of me. He asked me about a year ago to let him help me load my groceries on the black tread at the store. He was shaking like a leaf. I was PISSED because he came up behind me and squeezed next to me,to,get in front of me.

They're all he doesn't have his black bag!!!!! He wears a fanny pack to carry his insulin.

THATS WHAT I DONT GET.

hes scared yet he wants to kill me????

What the Hell. Stay away from me.

Then he will sit where he knows i should be able to see him and he eats candy and smiles all big showing his teeth like he just ate out some ones ass..

Telling me hes gonna have to have his needles out soon.

........

But they tell me he doesnt have his bag.

.....

He will and has tucked them under his dick on his nut sack. And pulled it out in front of me and my child.

.......

I will fucking kill him before he can get his stupid hands in his pants,

I do not fucking care.

Hes lucky i don't have a gun. Because h3 would already be dead.

That's why i don't have a gun.

I almost got one a few years ago.....

But i don't want to go to jail. So if he is close enough for me,to,touch on private property not belonging to him.

Hes a dead man.

........

Anyways so i was concerned for him to go thru the gate because I wasn't feeling the kill rage. So i felt like i wasn't ready so i was weary.

And i kept on although everything else was telling me,he wasn't but to my right,

So my left ear started buzzing like crazy and i was all fucking shut up i can't hear..

But duh. I didn't need to listen at the gate.

So god was there talking to me. Telling me he was there and ready to help me as i need.

To help me as i need.

Once i got the understanding then the buzzing quit.

And I knew to focus my ears to my right.

....

I wasn't alone and,had a lot of support and understanding from a legend. She was really awesome in being curious and understanding. It was pretty awesome. She has a clear and strong voice. I bet she will be a guardian angel one day and i know she will be awesome at it. I was starting to wonder if she was dead because she was so good.

She's not but yeah i was like whoa. I could trust her. Its unusual.

Just because she was awesome doesn't mean she's near death, its just an Earth skill.

I trust the dead most because they can go anywhere even under water.

And i felt i could trust her just as much as a spirit sent from Heaven.

.....

I can hear stewart again.

......

[vaughnlogg-blog]

3/28

well last night was a shit show. my parents called me and started grilling me about my mental health and I kind of broke down on them. They always do this. They always push me to the very edge and once I have a meltdown only then do they start to realize st scope of what’s going n. it’s still super frustrating because I tried talking to them about my PSTD (one of the biggest hurdles as far as me healing and starting to maintain a healthy mindset)and they brushed it off entirely. Guess I’ll let out my venting here cause they wont listen and i’m not sure if im ready to open up to my therapist abut this. I dont really trust her enough.... anyway So the source of my trauma really stems from two things; my childhood experiences with my dad and the torturous two years i spent with an ex partner who heavily abused me in every sense of the word. I used to have really bas seperattion anxiety from my mom when I was little and remember her signing up for cooking classes at Whole foods or whatever. The classes ran late sometimes (outside their 6-8pm time frame) so i never really knew when she would come home. i remember staring out my bedroom window terrified that she was not coming home. I remember some nights i’d make myself throw up with how worried I would get;always imagining something terrifying happening like her dying in a car crash or getting kidnapped since the town she took the classes was in had a high crime rate. I would always cry and since i was 6 and hadn't mastered the art of crying quietly it was a big ordeal. my dad was usually home and when i sarted crying...it like evoked this /rage/ in him. Not understandable concern or mild frustration that your one kid is making a scene and likely keeping his little brother and sister wake, but legitimate rage. One night, this rage caused him to pull me out of my bed and throw me into the spare bedroom we had and he would scream at me to stay put. If I even so much as opened the door to go to the bathroom he would bold up the stairs, grab me and throw me back into the room. I remember he yelled at me so loud i wondered how my crying was more disruptive to the household than his tirades. He threatened me with violence more than one time and this only made things worse. That room I was in as very dark with no source of light save for the one window it had, and was about 7′x9′ in space, making it very dark. Was I grew up, the abuse continued as i started to struggle with things like my sexuality and depression. my grades started to tank and really started showing a difference when I received my 8th grade report card and received a D in history. He would fly into that same rage, screaming at me and once even threw a textbook at me for crying because he scared me. I started crying myself to sleep each night and would often find myself crying in the bathroom at school for 30 minute clips on end. this often landed me in the principals office.I remember they pressed me several times asking about this, but i clammed up? what was i supposed to tell them? “My dad is hurting me and screaming at me because i’m failing my classes?” I was told nearly every day by my mom that my dad “loved me” so how was I supposed to understand that it was abuse? Today this has contributed to my PTSD because I’m constantly living in fear of being trapped in small spaces, afraid that my loved ones would leave and never come back, abandonment issues andfear of the dark. I’ve most recently discovered that really odd things in movies trigger this like right off the bat. weird things too. My current partner and I started watching The Sopranos, and each time Tony’s mother would gaslight him and guilt him.... I’m also weirdly Triggered by the actor John Goodman? You know the fat dad from Roseann and the crazy guy from 10 Clover Field Lane. Weird right? I think it stems from him being a really chill and caring dad in Roseann and it reminds me of the way my dad used to be before he started getting like this. !0 Cloverfield lane reminds me of like...idk being trapped in a room, and scared? It sounds so stupid as im writing this out. I’m gonna make a second new post about the ex abuse cause this is getting too long.