#she is being a full wholehearted bastard here

[zorkaya-moved]

"Can I kiss you?" : )

@prefectess

Words cannot describe the beauty that Yuuna shows in the eyes of an artist such as Morozova. The songs that leave her lips are always making people listen and her voice would make the royalty wish for her presence like a songbird in a cage, but little will they know that with a cage they’ll bring a snake that can bite and end their lives. It makes one wonder how much beauty hides danger behind Miyazaki’s eyes. The green apples will not come close to that bright and beautiful green that she witnesses before her very own golden eyes now. Don’t they say honey with apple slices tastes exceptionally good? It might be why they are such a wonderful fit together, standing as both beauties and artists of their own. What does this sunflower hide behind such bright colors, taking in the rays of sunshine? It makes the winter wonder as she wants to uncover every single secret.

Yuuna is new, unexplored, untamed, untouched. It makes one wonder how would she fare in the world of Twisted Wonderland. This plane of existence must be so different to her from the culture, to names, to languages, to products, but she holds her post and she stands up proud while keeping up her smiles. They aren’t true, but they are a showcase of her own strength. She is protective. There is a saying from where she’s come from: a smile can be your most dangerous weapon. Miyazaki seems to use her smile exceptionally well in situations that called for it while withholding back enough information to not question her too much but also know there is something there beneath the surface.

It excites her, it mesmerizes her, it makes her long for these secrets but also for closeness to someone who seems to understand the need for survival through hiding the danger away. The sharp looks she’s given once in a while, the words spoken with more confidence than ever, the moments where the truth would slip out and it would only make Zarina want more. The greed continues to manifest, baring its fangs when close enough to Yuuna but when she does not look. Golden eyes shine with appreciation of the other as she asks that small inquiry. As if a princess has finally given up on her prince, instead of wishing to befriend and remain with the dragon. How beautiful of her to go down this road despite the warning signs of deceit and lies, a tango danced with the music of others’ cries and fearful whimpers. The shadows love the Moon but will the sunflower change itself to become a moonflower?

“ Are you sure you won’t regret it? ” Zarina reaches out to caress her cheeks with the back of her hand, letting the knuckles kiss her skin almost in a feather-like notion. A careful caress, all to prove how important this inquiry was despite how hushed her voice sounded. The privacy of inquiry underlines the importance of Yuuna’s choice. Even if her tone remains velvety and tempting, she doesn’t not move away or closer as to not confuse the other. On the contrary, she is alluring by not doing anything and inviting the other to do the first step just to see if she truly means it or not. Ever the tease, Zarina’s red lips curl into a small (yet slightly amused) smile. What will the treasure of this college do? Crowley is such a fool for letting her walk around so freely. She might as well wish to steal her away from this place, not allow her to return home if she does move forward and capture her lips. It’ll be too late. “ They say one taste of me then nobody compares. ” She could ruin so many men and women for her with one kiss alone.

“ I don’t mind, ” she continues while glancing at the golden locks that she starts to twirl around her index finger after finishing her tender caress. Despite how colder her hands were compared to Yuuna’s, the tenderness in her touch is unmistakable. It would’ve been better if Miyazaki settled down on her lap, letting her wrap her hands around her waist and indulge in her warmth all the more. She isn’t a good person, she is messed up in the head and she is immoral despite how she presents herself before camera. Survivor erased the need for morality and the need for shame, she is all too honest in the primal desires she has. Right now, it is the wish to kiss Yuuna herself, but she is also all too patient in making the other want it more, kissing her first. It’s a dance of tease and taunt, the tugging here and there until the control of the other will snap. It’ll be a gorgeous end of a spectacle. It makes her want to hear Yuuna’s replies all the more. She is exceptional. She didn’t feel the same way with Kai before. Her eyes are glued to the allure of Yuuna’s lips and to the sound of her voice. Her own gaze softens without her understanding, lacking the same cruelty that it showed to others. Instead, it was more teasing and playful like a cat would do when trying to show affection while playing around. “ If you want to, kiss me right now, but I won’t take responsibility for ruining all other people who you might kiss in the future, Yuuna. I will leave you breathless, are you sure about that? ”

[andrewuttaro]

Same Humans, Different Worlds

This was initially going to be a thread of tweets but then I realized this deserved a full post if not a lot more. I’ve tweeted and posted my thoughts on the new set of eyes we seem to be acquiring as a country right now for racial issues. The murder of George Floyd set off millions of conversations just as it set off a world of protests. For black and brown people these conversations are part of everyday life. For those of us in white America these are the uncomfortable conversations you have a couple times in history class and a few times with your family if you’re lucky. We’ve never really completed the conversation. We prefer to point out we’re all the same humans while allowing others to live in different worlds.

Black Lives Matter. It is bizarre to me how this was ever a controversial statement. When I think back on the rise of the movement and my early encounters with it, I see why. The response among white friends and family moved toward the bastardization All Lives Matter. A statement, not a movement, really to silence others. Just like with Colin Kaepernick’s kneeling protest we privileged populations like to misdirect: Forget his message, make it about the flag. We silenced him with the flag. People I love would say these things, not out of racism, but out of ignorance. When a white person, especially a straight white male like myself, is confronted with racism and discrimination our first reaction is always some variation of “I’m not a bigot.” We just want to clear ourselves morally as a way to not need to educate ourselves any further.

It’s wrong. It’s counterproductive. We need to be done with that. My wife and I had an interesting conversation recently. We met as undergrads at Niagara University. Niagara is a college I’m proud to call my alma mater. It is also an institution with a history and many issues. My wife and I marvel at what appears to be a disconnect between our experience of this institution and friends of ours who see it in a completely different light. Some context here: my wife and I went to Niagara for Social Work. Our line of study and our participation in service projects through Campus Ministry and what not defined our time there. For us, Niagara was our education in diversity. It was our education in Black Lives Matter.

We came from very white communities with little exposure to the issues of people who look different from us. As Social Work undergrads we learned about structural inequality, empowerment, systemic racism, and internalized sexism among so many other things. Yes, I was among only a handful of men, white men at that, in the Social Work program but the diversity I learned there wasn’t a pill for me to swallow. It was a joy. For my wife and I we were excited to build a better world and fight for equality. We still are. I recall a particularly eye opening service trip to Camden, New Jersey that taught me a lot. This was not everyone’s experience of Niagara University; far from it in fact.

My Senior Year at Niagara saw a Black Lives Matter march and rally. It was quite controversial at the time and I recall black friends of mine experiencing pushback from fellow students and yes, even professors and staff. Though I made an effort to participate in that rally I felt, as I do today, that I didn’t do enough. Discrimination and bigotry ran deep at Niagara. On numerous occasions racist incidents would happen unprovoked. After the re-election of President Obama in 2012 there was racist vandalism. Just like with Kaepernick’s very educated kneeling protest the Black Lives Matter rally at Niagara was met with a defensive, misdirecting venom. Protestors demanding a black studies curriculum had their words perverted into asking for a separate institution, as if they were demanding a new segregation. The misdirection was overwhelming but painfully familiar. The privileged white world of Niagara was clashing with another world in its midst. All these people were as close together as classmates and colleagues on a college campus.

The women on campus who spearheaded greater accountability from the administration on the MeToo Movement were met with deeply sexist rebukes from their classmates, and yes faculty too. Sexual Assault on campus was underreported and silenced more often than not. One friend of mine became a vocal advocate because of trauma in her own life and the silence she saw from Niagara’s administration. As someone who had become accustomed to checking my privilege and not really taking issue with doing so I was shocked when other friends of mine were so hostile to these movements. A close classmate of mine was accused of sexual assault and confessed it to me one day as we played video games. He passed it off as more bitching and moaning of “those people” who just want to make life harder for others. When I reported this to University authorities they said they knew of the incidents in question and to not talk about it anymore. That was the small experience I had as a straight, white, male of what it means to not be heard. Something others experienced so much more frequently.

If you’re not familiar, Niagara University is a small, private school with a less than diverse student population and faculty to match. There was and remains an affluent part of the University population that is generationally connected to the school for better or for worse. It also happens to be founded by an order of Catholic Priests called the Vincentians whose whole charism is based on charity, fighting poverty and the systemic evils that oppress humanity. These two worlds were held in ironic contrast for me in my four years there as I received an education I feel was an awakening while seeing part of the same institution that was educating me fail to live up to the dream of its own founding. My wife and I lived in one world of Niagara while our black and brown friends, as well as many of our female friends, lived in a quite different world.

I look at these experiences in the context of our current moment and think about this nation as a whole. So many of us in the white community and the middle and upper classes prefer to say the comfortable thing over the right thing. We pander to the systemically oppressed by our brief education in racial history by quoting Martin Luther King Jr. We point to peaceful protesting in his message while conveniently forgetting this man was also murdered for his activism. Like with so many incidents in recent memory, MLK’s killers were never found or charged either.

Now, even to white America, it is plain as day that this kind of thing happens all the time. What black and brown people have always known, what women have faced since the dawn of time, is no longer hidden from anyone. Credit it to smart phone cameras, protest-minded Zoomers, or a large portion of the country unemployed because of the ongoing Pandemic: there will be no hiding institutionalized hatred anymore. At the very least we ought to be serious about it this time and not look for another misdirection.

There was once a time the political authorities dealt their way out of these protest movements by identifying a leader and working through or against them. Those days are done too. A leaderless movement now delivers us a generation of change, not just by affected populations anymore. No, this is everyone who wants to even pretend they’re social responsible now; everyone who wants to stick with societal progress. Police brutality isn’t going to be something we wave off with thin blue line flags because we don’t want to face the hard truths of an institution in desperate need of reform. My white male privilege isn’t blinding me anymore. And if there is a just soul at the heart of American Democracy it won’t blind our country anymore either. The time is ripe for wholehearted change from everyone.

Just like Niagara University I think our country is a collection of institutions that are deeply flawed in need of reform. Meaningful reform takes everyone, not just those affected by the issues. When we vote we can’t just vote for our own interests anymore. We also have to vote thinking about the same humans who live in a different world right here in the same country. We’re the same humans living in different worlds. To my fellow privileged Americans: the least you can do is recognize that. The least you can do is finally say Black Lives Matter without indulging our privileged desire to misdirect.

The next thing you can do is educate yourself, and then you can act. Action is made into this aloof hobby of activists, celebrities, and politicians. No more. In a truly functional democracy with the promise of the values this country has built in, built in deep in the circuitry of it all, everyone should be active in the process. Everyone. It works better that way.

Yes, action is voting. But its also not being a bystander. It’s speaking up. It’s knowing how to listen. A wise man once told me God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen more than you talk. Act more than you react. Don’t silence the tough stuff because you can. Our country, it’s leaders, it’s institutions, right down to the small communities like Niagara University and all the little small towns who don’t know diversity. We have to be continuously learning, listening and acting not just for ourselves but for those same human beings who live in a different world right beside us.