#she has me wrapped around her dewclaw
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that1nkyone · 2 years ago
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I’m being Trapped. She’s so clever and Good.
@rukewastestime
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mandana-the-service-pup · 3 years ago
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I wasn’t intending to make this a long post but there’s too much good information not to share.
Not everything we do is force-free.
Everyday this year I plan to work on positively conditioning Mandana to a piece of gear or a husbandry skill. The padded floor was part of the trigger stacking issue last week so I’ve made her shoes a priority in her training.
Every morning we’ve worked on voluntarily:
coming to her shoes
sniffing them
allowing me to hold her paws when I have the shoes in my hand
touching her paws to the shoes
putting them on
walking around in them on the carpet
position changes (various sequences of heel, sit, down)
I thought her issue was mostly walking over soft floors in her shoes but yesterday an unexpected issue popped up and it was a great reminder of how vast training can be.
When we were preparing for our snow adventure, I forgot to wrap her dewclaws. It’s something that I only need to do for longer walks so it’s easy to forget. When I later realized my mistake, I stopped to check her paws to make sure she wasn’t rubbing them raw. She allowed me to take a shoe off without any issue. There was no sign of abrasion but she was very unhappy when I tried to put her shoe back on.
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As far as I can, I try to be force free with Mandana. I use positive reinforcement, I frequently give her options to choose from and we have been working on her ability to communicate more complex topics with a combination of hand targets and select words. However, I’m not strictly a force-free trainer and neither is the service dog academy we are enrolled in.
We need our service dogs to be happy to work. Making our training voluntary insures that we aren’t trying to force a dog into a job thats not right for them. However, there are times when we have to take control of a situation and it’s not always pleasant.
The key is to minimize how much and how often force is required by training systematically (cooperative care), set realistic expectations and be fair to the dog. Think carefully about if an activity is truly mandatory in the moment or if it can wait until your training and relationship improves. When the time comes and you have to make that decision, be sure to communicate clearly with the dog that this activity is not optional and handle the situation with deliberate compassion.
So how did I handle the shoe issue in the moment?
I immediately stopped what I was doing when she pulled away from me and assessed the situation.
Her foot was not injured, raw or swollen. Her reaction was most likely based on a past experience where she had torn a pad while playing barefoot and I had to put a boot on her injured paw to help her to walk across the parking lot safely
She has soft pads that are not conditioned to rough terrain or harsh weather
I couldn’t see the ground because of the snow. Hazards in the area included ice, salt, and possible hidden debris
Distractions included lots of snow, multiple people playing with their dogs, traffic and geese
We were both having a good time and were planning to stay out much longer
I didn’t ask for her paw. I held her by her harness and gently wrapped her longline around her muzzle in a makeshift head halter. My hands were going to be busy so if a major distraction came along I needed to be able to restrain her with minimal effort. I double checked for any injury and then put the shoe on with as little fuss as possible. Afterwards, we sat in the snow for a while so we could process what just happened.
I found a twig nearby so we could engage playfully with each other and smooth over the stress that comes from a forced activity. After she relaxed, I used hand targets to ask some questions. I try to be careful with how I structure “conversations”. My goal isn’t to anthropomorphize. I’m trying to get answers that help me train & care for her; improve our relationship and fulfill one of life’s basic necessities which is having freedom of choice.
Some things to note in regards to her vocabulary. “Good” and “bad” do not have moral implications. She is a dog. Her actions are based on cause & effect and how they fulfill a function in her life. We don’t punish her for being a “bad dog” because that’s not a concept she can understand. Instead, we use good/bad & yes/no to refer to if a choice was correct or not. “Bad” simply refers to an incorrect choice that results in not getting what she wants. “No” means to choose a different option or activity. (Dhini is my nickname)
Mandana spooked? Yes / No
Shoes spooked Mandana? Yes / No
Dhini spooked Mandana? Yes / No
Dhini Good? / Dhini Bad?
Mandana Good? / Mandana Bad?
After this conversation and smoothing over our relationship, I walked her over to a sitting area and put her up on a bench. I asked for her paws and we practiced taking her shoes off and putting them back on. Then we continued with our adventure.
So there you have it. A detailed look into our training and how we handle conflict without damaging our relationship. I’ve added this activity (shoes off/on while outside) to our daily gear training so we can make this a voluntary behavior.
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations. Here’s a snow romping video for tax 😅
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serpentariusart · 4 years ago
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Ooops oops oops can you tell I haven’t read the tags of any of my posts in a few days? Thank you for the compliments though, and these are great questions!!!! I love when people ask questions about my art/designs/dragons/whatever it is great and makes me happy.
1. Not really any dexterity! I just like adding dewclaws, or dewclaw-like digits, to absolutely everything I draw. In some cases they are actually meant to be more thumb-like, though not in Naeri’s case. They’re big cus I like drawing feet with with chunky toes.
2. Her shawl does just wrap around her body with holes for the wings. She’s the strange pretentious-looking type to wear a coat howls-moving-castle style, just slumping it over her shoulders rather than putting her arms in the sleeves like a normal person.
3. Not in particular! In my lore physical items can be magically enchanted, and jewelry is often the subject of this. So her rings are essentially power stores that let her do bigger, badder, better necromancy. She’ll never admit it but she has a taste for gaudy things too, so she loves big flashy showy rings, and lots of them. She’s like that great-aunt who wears massive chunky rings on all of her fingers.
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justslowdown · 6 years ago
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can you tell us some dog grooming horror stories? :0
animal neglect/abuse cw
I’ll start by saying that there are also some really delightful, sweet, well-cared-for dogs that come in! I love our regulars, especially the puppies I get to watch grow up. And it’s so fun to see the awesome grooms that my co-workers pull off (I’m just an assistant, so bath, dry, nail trim, brush, demat, sometimes sanitary and paw pad shave). 
But then there are the ones where I wonder if their owners ever look at or touch their dogs, at all, period. At least they bring them in for grooming… even if it’s once a year, when they should be in every 8 wks. 
Pekingese last week with a bad underbite. She had a glob of something stuck to her tooth so while I was bathing her I tried pulling it out–to find it was a huge ball of grass seeds wrapped in fur, matted to her chin and wrapped around her tooth, keeping her lip permanently pulled down. There was plaque or something covering it, so you couldn’t even tell it was fur and seeds. And it was 100% visible and noticeable if you looked at her face for even a few seconds, not something I had to go digging for.
The same dog is one of a pair, a mother and daughter. Sweet as pie, super cooperative, nice personalities. I just wish they weren’t trapped in dysfunctional bodies and that their owner did even a little home grooming. They come in smelling rancid with eye boogers caked into every fold of their face, ears and tail matted to hell and asses caked with turds.
That’s something I see a lot of–how can owners not notice the smell of shit following their dog around and take a look under the tail? 
Nails curling into paw pads is another one. Let alone just plain overgrown ones. Tip if you’re not in The Dog World: long nails alter your dog’s foot structure and gait and are uncomfortable to walk on. It’s neglect to allow them to grow as long as your average pet owner does, to be honest, because it really does affect quality of life and comfort. We do nail trims for $8, not knowing how to do it isn’t an excuse. Just take them into a groomer (bring high value treats to distract the dog) and ask to be shown. Another thing average pet folk don’t know to check–if your dog has a longer or curly coat, check their paw pads for mats and burrs. I’ve shaved out marble-sized prickly burrs matted in between toes. 
Another dog that stands out in my memory is a little white fluffy who only comes in once a year. He was absolutely matted down to the skin, all over his entire body. I couldn’t find his dewclaws when I was trimming his nails because the fur was bound so tightly around his ankles. Filthy, disgusting, unidentifiable smells and scum under all that fur, so bad it was hard not to gag while I was helping the groomer shave him down. It came off in solid pelts. Back to the shit thing… a few inches of solid feces down the back of his legs. And he was such a sweet, easygoing boy, patient and calm the entire ordeal, though I’m sure it was incredibly uncomfortable for him.
Or let’s try the 160lb obese golden retriever (yes, 160lb, as in mastiff sized on a golden frame) who can barely stand or walk across the room without panting his poor sweet heart out. He comes in with tennis ball sized mats on his legs, but it’s hard for him to stand up long enough for the groomer to shave them out, so often someone has to hold up that enormous belly. Which is as hard as it sounds. 
The dachshunds whose bellies drag on the ground and get rugburn because they weigh easily twice what they should. The sheltie who was three times as wide (no, not just fluff) as my 60lb dog but half as tall. I couldn’t even find where his tail started without digging around underneath a shelf of flab… and then the base of his tail had an orb of fat the size of an orange. His TAIL was fat. How does that even happen?
This isn’t so much neglect as it is poorly bred and raised dogs… the high-strung, anxious, terrified dogs who come in just break my heart. A mix who had projectile diarrhea and pissed everywhere when her nails were trimmed. The ones who whine and scream starting the second their owners leave. The ones who’ve never been crated, so they screech and claw at the door for an hour straight. The dogs that thrash and shout and look like they’re gonna pop their eyes out if restrained for even a second. The ones who shut down and withdraw into themselves instead of lashing out, but who are clearly scared out of their wits because of a simple brushing or bath.
 It’s tough for me to deal with, the sheer terror so many dogs feel. But grooming really is an integral part of many dogs’ health and quality of life. So I’m glad to be a part of it and to send them out feeling so much better than when they came in. Trapped under mats and burrs and painful nails and caked shit and anal glands so full they’re ready to burst. 
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kaoticspoonie · 6 years ago
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I had typed up a whole post about the traumatic incident with K the other day and just realized it never posted.
He is doing a lot better now, still favoring his bad leg and I can tell he is in pain but it's currently manageable. And I'm recovered enough to make a post about it. Which I've been debating doing but have had a few ppl ask me about it.
Basically a small dog charged at Missy and I had enough time to put her on the other side of me and try to grab the small dog. Unfortunately the small dog turned and attacked Kaos. He ignored it, looking up to my sister for help. However he was mid step and stepped on the dog and got his paw stuck in it's harness and the dog struggling plus the owner of it tugging on the leash made it very difficult to get the harness unstuck from his dewclaw.
I felt so helpless, I was able to get close enough to help Kaos fall without hurting himself or the other dog more.
I'm amazed the dog didn't die from Kaos stepping on it honestly.
The whole situation was almost five minutes long, felt like hours to me. We were at a pretty crowded farmers market and managed to draw a pretty large crowd.
I've had large dogs attack Kaos before, including one who bit my hand and dislocated multiple fingers because I had wrapped my arms around Kaos's neck to protect him while others I trusted were pulling the other dog off. This was more stressful somehow, probably in part to being concerned about the small dog dying from being stepped or fallen on and partly bc it was his bad leg.
Thankfully we had a lot of support (Kaos got so much free frozen yogurt and pets) and the owner of the other dog immediately put her dogs away and I gave her some advice (attach all the dogs to a belt so no dropped leashes) and trainer recommendations.
I basically sat in front of a nice persons booth and sobbed while Missy got to practice her DPT, and I can't praise her enough for how perfect she handled the situation, just laid down and followed commands but stayed as far away from the situation as possible and then stayed as close to me as possible aftertill I was back under threshold.
I'm going to have to do so much counter conditioning with Missy and K in the next month, now where to find friendly small dogs??? (My trainer takes September off from drop in classes, might do one at the kennel club or see if the other trainer I don't hate has any classes or opportunities.)
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xxcowardicexx · 7 years ago
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Dream (Day 8)
*i was steadily coming back to consciousness, i was rather warm compared to earlier. i began slowly opening my eyes, in front of me the fire was burning a low slow burn. The fire’s light reflected off the cave’s natural emeraldesk walls. I could still feel her arm wrapped around my stomach, my ears folded down.*
*She did so much for me, I felt so worthless. i hung my head slightly at all the memories, from when she pulled me up from that pond. Watching over me through all those hours of the night, laying with me to help me not have a heatstroke from the fever or kicking it from hypothermia. Constantly hunting out game for not just her, but myself as well. I definitely didn’t ask for her help.... but without her, i probably wouldn't be around right now and that much I was extremely grateful for. There was a lot to make up for, and i had a few ideas on what i could do to make things a little bit easier for her here...* 
*I listened quietly, her breathing was that of almost a slight snore. Which made me smirk slightly. At least she was getting some well deserved sleep, but then my smirk left. Now i had to try and sneak my way out from under her embrace and not wake her. I started thinking, i brought my paw up to my chin when i realized i WAS a furry. I shifted my tail up to her arm, and softly pushed it up off my side as i used my right arm to pull her wrist up. It allowed me enough room to slither my way from under her arm. As I did so i lowered her arm down to her side.*
*Her blackish grey fur was soft, I sighed quietly. Her beauty was quiet remarkable. As she laid on the bed of thick moss, the fire flickered over her. It’s amber and orange hues played along the grey ends of her fur giving her a outline that shined in a way i couldn’t really put it into words its almost like she eclipsed the sun. I slowly sat up, my body was in knots. With a small scoot, i picked myself up moved slightly closer to the fire off of the bed of grass. She didn’t wake which was a small relief, because surely if i woke her without a good reason she would be upset. Hmm... if she awoke and i wasnt there she probably wouldnt be happy either, or as warm as she was for that matter...*
*Thinking, I lightly grabbed the part of the bed of moss i was laying on and covered her with it. It seems with my weight it compressed it all together making it like a makeshift blanket. Lightly tucking her in from my sitting down position my joints wanted to fight me, seems that the cold has put some stress on my body. I turned to try and slowly crawl a little bit closer to the fire when my back popped audibly, it made me wince in more than one way. Physically because it send a jolt down my spine, and mentally as i slowly looked over my shoulder at the fact she was still asleep. With a slight sigh i slowly stood.* 
*I stepped lightly across the floor towards the waterfall entrance, my right foot was feeling much better. Still sore, but much better. I stopped against the stone wall that was the entrance of the waterfall. I watched outside. The snow was still falling, the wind had calmed down a considerable amount from the day before. The sun was rising? I couldn’t really tell what time it was of the day other than it was earlyish. I took a couple steps away out into the snow to the closest tree. I shivered as i touched the bark of the old oak.*
*I grabbed the tree with both arms, i held onto it with as much strength i could bracing my upper body with the tree. I moved my left leg carefully shifting the angle of my hips, twisting my spine. My ears folded down from the sound of my disks popping, it sounded like branches breaking... Slowly oh so slowly... i moved my foot back and moved my right leg the same way, popping my back the rest of the way. It was painful at first, my legs were weak for the moment, then were better as i stood.*  
“ahhhhhhh” i sighed lightly
“mmmmm” i heard deeply inside 
*???* 
*i frowned. looking around making sure there wasn’t anything about.*
Whats wrong? Can’t i enjoy the stretches too? 
*-_- Must have been that being inside of me* 
I am you after all 
*With a sigh i continued popping all the joints i could. Holding my hand on my elbow, holding my arm at 90 degrees vertical and slamming it strait releasing an audible pop. Rotating my shoulders and popping my shoulder blades. I bent over, and touched my toes popping the lowest part of my back, right near my tail bone. I then moved to the feet, just rotating them until the pressure releases. I didn’t know how to pop my knees.. so i moved my back against the tree and began to pop my wrists, and my fingers in more than one way. I each one from the base away from the palm, then i grabbed each finger in the middle joint and bent them sideways.*
“*slight gasp* Ew~* i herd
* I looked up  and around and saw Beautiful leaning against the cave entrance slightly appalled but intrigued as i moved from my little dewclaw to the next, popping it sideways as well. She cringed as she saw bend in a way that she clearly didn’t like to see. I smirked at her reaction, I was used to it.* 
“How can you do that?!” she watched in slight disgust, then moving down to try and make her claws do the same, wincing in pain as hers wouldn’t.
*chuckling* “ I’m double jointed in all of my fingers, even my thumbs” I said popping my middle finger sideways in a way that showed that it clearly wasn’t supposed to. 
“EW~ stop thats gross!” she exclaimed slightly looking away. 
*laughing now she looked at me as i finished popping my fingers.” 
“You done yet?!” she said impatiently with her arms crossed.
*With a insanely large smile, i looked at her knowing i had saved the best for last. It was my favorite thing to pop. With a slight chuckle*
“Not yet” i said cooly
“Hmph.” she said disapointedly
*I turned my head sideways, Putting my chin 90 degrees to the left above my shoulder, she looked at me weirdly. I than snapped my chin to the other side. The sound sounded like a gun rapid firing as stopped pretty much at the same angle on the opposite side.*
“OH EW, EW” she said in horror
*i then slung my chin the other way, pretty much making the same sound on the return. it causes her to shiver and look away revolted* 
“DONT DO THAT!!! YOU’LL BREAK YOUR NECK LIKE THAT” she shouted at me
“ Maybe one day, but that doesn’t seem to be today~ tehe” i said back smiling.  
“Anyways, how long have you been standing there?” i inquired. 
*slowly she looks back at me slightly nervously* 
“enough to know you have a nice ass.” she said quietly
*I laughed*
“Trust me, your’s probably looks better” i said as I started walking back
*She looked up at me aggravatedly*
“Ok ok, no probably about it~ Though... i’ve never seen my own ass before.” i said holding my hand up slightly
*she rolled her eyes and smirked at me* 
“just shut up already and get inside”  she said turning around walking back into the cave. 
*by the time I got into the cave she was sitting on the bed of moss, still kinda grossed out i guessed. she had her ears down.* 
*I walked over to her, and sat down on the dirt next to the fire* 
*she sighed a heavy sigh, I cocked my head to the side as i looked at her* 
“whats up?” I looked at her confused
*she was looking at the ground at first, then looked at me like i was an idiot.*
“O-oh nothing, just a little.. hungry. thats all” she said looking back down to the floor.
*My ears shot up, I looked around for my fishing spear as i stood. She looked at me.* 
“whats up?” she asked concerned. 
“You’re hungry, I should go get you some food then..” I looked at her with the smile equivalent of a “cat face emoji” 
*her ears perked up* 
*i saw my spear sitting in the corner and walked over to it.  I Picked it up and turned around. her face seemed like it lit up, her ears and tail were strait up and her tail was swishing in anticipation* 
“C-could you get a couple rabbits? I know i said i was hungry but i did eat two fish last night, so you don’t have to rush or anything... But some rabbit does sound pretty good.” she said looking at me with different eyes. I closed my eyes and smiled a big smile. 
“you can count on me!” i replied holding up a paw with a thumbs up 
*i started making my way to the exit of the waterfall, when i herd her call out*
“Hey!”
* I turned around and looked at her*
“Yeah?”
“B-be careful out there” she said timidly
“ I will, you rest up and stay warm now you hear?” 
*she giggled* “Fine, whatever~” she said as she laid down on the bed of moss next to the slow burning fire.
*as i exited the cave i sniffled through my runny nose, and sneezed, then snorted slightly. Finding them by scent wasn’t going to work. Seems that my nose was still recovering from almost freezing to death. But rabbits live in holes they burrow into the ground. So if i find some bushes with berries on them, then they shouldn’t be too far away i guessed.*
* began thinking about berries. I’ve had some. I know i had. Where? thinking back as i was walking away that i realized that I had some not long after entering this dream realm.. which was like over an hour walk after climbing that waterfall the opposite way i was walking. *
*I walked a slightly longer route around the far side of the waterfall, it was less steep and had some small thinner trees ( though covered in ice) to help me climb the hill.*
*after climbing the edge i began following the creek, my breath was a visible cloud as climbed the frozen landscape*
*I remembered all these trees from when i first walked by. Their leaves had fallen, branches covered in snow and icicles. there was no sound of birds singing their song in the trees. I heard the crunching of the snow underpaw,  there wasn’t much really going on. I eventually found the snowcovered bush of red berries. I picked a few and tried to eat one. Frozen solid. I spit it out in fear of it lowering my body temperature. But i was now taking each step slowly, lightly, and quietly. I had my spear set and ready to cast.*
* in my mind i was already saying thanks. I was creeping around the higher bushes and low foliage. after a few minutes I heard the skittering of small paws in the underbrush. I squinted my eyes and looked at the shrubbery. it was moving. I cast it ahead of where was going. There was a squee from the landing. *
* i walked over and picked  the spear up. It was a fat fluffy cotton tail rabbit speared through the neck. I shuddered as i put the spear on my shoulder, rabbit hanging from the end. I slowly started making my back. I hadnt realised that my whole way back to this place was all up hill. which is easier to climb up than climb down during this extreme weather.*
* I ended up falling on my ass a couple of times as i tried to climb down the hills, but eventually i made it back to that small brook that leads to the creek. which meant i was close to the cave. It had been quite a few hours and the sun was starting to set, the rabbits fur was kinda soaked in blood and slightly torn from where it bounced around on the stick and got dropped a few times from my impact with the ground.* 
*eventually i made it down to the hill to the ponds base, i smirked at the remark that i didn’t just dive head first this time. I walked through the entrance and saw that she was curled up into a ball on the bed. her tail pretty much was a big as she was and she had covered herself up completely with it.  The fire was almost dead, so i walked over the bundle of sticks  that was wrapped up in vines and crouched beside it pulled out a claw. I heard a slight whimper come from her.*
*my ears folded down, she must be cold...  Looking back at the sticks i sliced the vines and they clattered slightly to the ground from its tight bundle. I saw from the corner of my eye that she jumped slightly from the sound. I saw her come from out under her tail and stretch across the moss bed. She laid on her side, looking at me with a big smile.*
“Glad to see you made it back” she said softly
*i blushed* 
“D-did you sleep well?” i said looking away adding sticks and leaves to the fire . 
“I slept fucking fantastically~” she said stretching even more so across the bed. 
*I looked sidelong at her as she did. when she stopped she looked me square the eyes, she looked like she was posing, like “paint me like one of your french girls”  which in all honesty, a painting wouldn’t have done her justice. i could feel my heart beating slightly in my ears as the leaves started catching fire, making me look at the fire starting to burn a nice level* 
*she got up smiling, and strutted over to the fire right next to me as i put more sticks into the fire, she put both hands on my shoulders and put her mouth near my ear * 
“Nice!, thats a fat one isnt it? hehe I can take over cooking it if you would like” she said messaging my shoulders, which she seemed like she was having a difficult time because of how wide they are. 
“You can relax and rest, i’ll wake you up when its done i promise...” she insisted 
“ok ok, plus i think you know what you’re doing compared to me so ill let the professional handle it” i said smartly
“Oh- such High praise from such a strong, brave, mighty hunter” she said back  dramatically. 
*we both laughed as she stopped massaging my shoulders, i moved my way over to the moss bed, which was VERY VERY warm from where she was sleeping and i snuggled in on my left side, watching her as she pulled out a claw.*
*I Slowly closed my eyes as heard her go to work, and drifted off*
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the-everqueen · 7 years ago
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a long long time ago, i promised @stellerssong camping fic. here it finally is, with much love: 4k of wolf shenanigans and me dragging the founders. this is titled “werewolf gimmick” in my docs, but has very little to do with the tmg song - mostly i just found the dichotomy hilarious.
Thanks to general panic over midterms in the class he TAs, John gets home late that evening. Alex doesn’t jump to greet him like usual: he’s on the couch, eyes glued to his laptop screen, claws tapping at the keys. John toes off his shoes and sets down his backpack. “Have you moved at all since I left?”
“Mm?” Alex flicks an ear. “Oh. Yeah, we’re out of bologna.”
“And cheese.” John rummages around in the fridge for the salmon he’d set to marinate that morning. He has brussel sprouts he could roast, but that takes so long. Maybe he’ll make a salad instead. “Hey, Alex, would you eat kale?”
“Depends. Is there bacon in it?”
So, no. John takes out the greens anyway; he can have the leftovers for lunch tomorrow. The salmon just needs a quick sear, and he boils some minute rice. Fast, simple, nutritious: the kind of dinner he learned to make in his undergrad and thought he’d never have to cook again. Back before the — before Alex was a werewolf, John might have asked him to make quesadillas or breakfast for dinner, the two meals he could be guaranteed to not burn. But last week Alex tried to cook pancakes as a surprise and ended up eating a dozen raw eggs in the process. John found him licking the remains of the last one off the counter.
Alex is now exempt from kitchen-related chores.
John hands him a plate, sans kale. There are some battles even he won’t fight. “How’s the article coming?”
“Got another round of edits.” Alex snaps up a bite of salmon, not bothering with utensils. “I might be able to finish it tonight. Already started on the next project — the editor said she’s looking for a piece for December.”
“You’ve been working really hard.”
Alex snorts. “Yeah, well. Gotta make up for those full moons.”
“That’s one day a month.”
He nibbles at the rice, swallows down another piece of salmon. John waits for further argument, but Alex stares into space, thinking about his edits or maybe the neighbor’s cat. Ever since he got that piece published in Fast Company, he’s been writing non-stop, aiming for something bigger or more permanent. John is glad he’s recovered his sense of purpose — Alex, listless on the couch, eyes dull as he watches Cesar Millan videos, should be an aberration, not the norm. But then John is starting to think Alex is going too far in the other direction: working every second he’s awake, like he has to be productive or else he isn’t worth anything. He has bags under his eyes that aren’t just patches of dark fur growing on his face.
Last semester was — well, there isn’t a word to summarize it. Alex getting bitten, Alex dropping out of school, Alex changing in so many ways, obvious and subtle, all of them uncanny valley familiar. He deserves a break, a real one, a chance to not worry about looking human and just be able to relax.
A vacation.
John takes their plates to the sink. Alex has licked his dish clean and returned to his article, ears perked at attention. His laptop is perched on the arm of the couch, his hips twisted to the side to accommodate his tail, which thumps in time to whatever’s going on inside his brain. John grabs his own computer and shoots a quick message to Harrison: you have a tent, yeah? could i borrow it?
***
“We’re going camping,” John announces over breakfast.
Alex wrinkles his nose. “Like, today? Don’t you have class?”
“No, not today. This weekend.”
“This weekend.”
“Yeah.”
“Full moon.”
“Yes?” Alex is giving him a blank look, and John presses on. “You finished your edits, and you won’t have thumbs. I booked the campsite, Harrison is loaning me his tent. I just thought —  you’ve been working so hard, and you deserve a break, and we haven’t done anything special since, well. You know.”
“Since the bite.”
“Yeah.”
Alex picks at the cleft in his lip. At this point in the cycle he doesn’t have much that could be called eyebrows, since his face is mostly dark fur, but the tawny spots on his brow ridges draw together in something like confusion. “So you thought camping?”
“I can’t exactly take a wolf to the spa. Besides, you could use a change of scenery.”
Alex shrugs. “You’ve seen one tree, you’ve seen them all.”
“That’s not even remotely true.”
“Which one of us is the naturalist here?”
“I’m going to vet school, Alex.”
“Yeah you are.” His mouth falls into what’s probably intended to be a salacious grin but instead looks very canine, his long tongue hanging over his teeth.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I’m dating a future doctor!”
John rolls his eyes. Swallowing down the last of his tea, he wraps his arms around Alex and buries his face in the fur poking above the collar of his hoodie. “I heard he even makes house calls,” he murmurs.
“Now who has the bad lines?” Alex asks. But he shivers as John presses a kiss to the side of his face, and his tail thwacks against John’s leg. “I’ve never been camping.”
“You never — oh.” He knows bits and pieces about Alex’s childhood, collected from hints dropped like breadcrumbs, but he feels stupid that this is the first time he’s realizing Alex probably didn’t have annual family vacations as a kid. “Well, I can do the setup and teardown myself, so that’s not a problem. Maybe you can catch dinner?”
“Oh yeah, cause I do that all the time.”
“You caught that squirrel.”
Alex shoots a doleful glance at the faded stain on the living room carpet. Two months later, and John still hasn’t managed to scrub out the evidence of Alex’s anniversary present. Who would have thought squirrel guts would be the Achilles’ heel to every cleaning product on the market?
One ear perks and the other tilts down in an expression John has come to understand as extreme skepticism. Alex says, “Let’s hope your surprise turns out better than mine did.”
***
Alex might be dubious about the concept of vacation, but that doesn’t keep him from howling along to Lorde as they drive down the interstate. Not quite in tune, though he makes up for it with enthusiasm. According to his phone, it’s a five-hour drive to the camp, and since Alex can’t pass the time with an extended rant, John has Pandora and a half dozen chew toys to keep him occupied. Alex “sings” along to the techno-pop, prods John into telling him about the latest gossip in the animal husbandry department, and manages to wrestle the squeaker out of his stuffed turtle — all in the span of an hour. Hour two, a Prius rides next to them for a couple miles, a grinning pit bull in the backseat, and Alex goes wild, barking and clawing at the door. When the car pulls ahead, he grumbles.
John takes pity on him and rolls down the window.
Alex sticks his head outside, face breaking into a canine grin. His tongue lolls and flaps in the breeze, and he laughs, an incongruous human sound.
“Having fun there?” John asks.
His tail thumps on the center console.
***
It’s afternoon when they get to the campground, their arrival delayed by a quick lunch stop. Alex has thumbs enough to open the door, but his hips have given up on being bipedal and he clambers out of the car on all fours, still wearing his Columbia hoodie. John hauls out his backpack, the tent, and the cooler. “Ready?”
Alex paws at the cooler and whines.
“It’s fine, I got it.” John hefts the gear for emphasis. “See? Marta used to make me carry her shit on vacations. Dad always sided with her, too, said I had to be a gentleman. Like she didn’t scare half the boys at school with her left hook.”
Alex snickers.
Workout benefits of being the packhorse aside, John is glad their campsite isn’t far from the parking area. He dumps their gear in the center of the cleared ground and rolls his shoulders, looking around. The weather forecast predicted a warm weekend, but cold nights in the mountains, meaning the fire pit should be useful for more than just roasting marshmallows. Through the trees, their neighbor’s tent is visible — must be a family, he can hear kids shrieking and laughing. Alex’s ears swivel in the direction of the sound.
“You can explore, if you want. I gotta set up the tent.”
He cocks his head.
“You won’t get lost, you can — I dunno — smell your way back? Just don’t go too far. Also maybe take off the hoodie.”
Alex wriggles out of his sweatshirt, with some help from John. Shakes out his fur. It’s not quite full moon, but close enough that Alex passes for some sort of wolf-dog hybrid. Only John would recognize that his thumbs haven’t yet receded into dewclaws, or what the awkward slope of his shoulders means.
Alex scratches at his belly with his hind foot.
“Oh, wait —” John digs around in his backpack until he finds the leather collar. The tags jangle as he fastens it around Alex’s neck, and his boyfriend makes a disgruntled sound. “There. Looks like you belong to someone.”
A warning growl.
“Well, you’re mine, aren’t you? Don’t want you getting picked up by some cute park ranger.”
Alex swipes a lick across John’s cheek and goes bounding into the trees.
Turns out pitching a tent is not like riding a bike — it’s been years since John went camping, and he had at least one other person to help him. He wrestles with one stubborn corner, grateful that Alex isn’t here to watch and laugh at him. By the time he rolls out the sleeping bags and stashes their gear, he’s sweating and the sun has crawled closer to the horizon.
Childish screams alternate with a familiar bark. John wanders over to their neighbor’s campsite and finds Alex playing with two little kids, sisters if their matching shirts and corkscrew curls are any indication. The younger one toddles after Alex, her arms outstretched, and he lopes just out of reach, reverses to dodge the older girl. His tail wags.
“Nice dog, is he yours?”
John turns to the couple sitting in fold-out chairs, watching the kids. “Yeah. I’m John, we’re —” he gestures back at the trees “— right next door.”
“Mattie,” the woman says, holding out her hand. “This is my husband, Thom.”
The man gives John a considering look. “What brings you out here?”
“Well, uh, it’s spring break.”
“You’re a student?”
“Grad student. Vet school.”
Thom nods. “So you like the outdoors.”
“Yeah. And Alex needs a lot of exercise.” John glances at his boyfriend, who’s getting belly rubs from the girls.
“I didn’t think wolf-hybrids were a thing in California,” Mattie says, not accusing, just curious.
“He’s not — we don’t know what breed he is? Got him at the local shelter.”
“Well-trained,” Thom observes.
“Ha. Well. You should see what he did to the couch. But he likes kids.”
“I’ve heard larger breeds tend to be really social.” Mattie adjusts her sunglasses. “We were thinking of getting a pet, since the girls have been asking. But I’m not sure how much time I can afford to train a dog when I can’t even get this one here to make the bed.” She swats playfully at her husband. “I swear, he gets up at six in the morning just to get out of fixing the sheets.”
“I’m checking the temperature!”
“You’re a philosophy professor.”
“Global warming is a real issue that affects us all.”
She rolls her eyes. “See? No help.”
“Pet ownership is a serious commitment,” John says, relieved to have the conversation move away from the subject of his boyfriend. “You wouldn’t believe how many animals we get at the shelter because someone didn’t realize their cute little puppy would grow into a bigger dog.”
From there the talk revolves around hypoallergenic dogs and finding a reputable breeder. At some point Alex wanders over, panting. He rubs his face on John’s leg, and John pets the tawny spot between his eyes. “Hey, ba — boy.”
Alex snorts.
Thom gives them a funny look.
John blushes and opens his mouth to — explain? deny that he’s dating his dog? — but the girls choose that moment to interrupt, the younger climbing into Mattie’s lap and burying her face in her stomach.
“Oh dear, someone needs a nap.” Mattie pats her back soothingly. “Thom, you want to get her blankie out?”
That’s their cue to leave. John pats Alex’s side. “We should go. Those hot dogs I brought won’t cook themselves.”
“Sure,” Thom says. “We’ll see you around.”
At least Alex holds in his (suspiciously human sounding) laughter until after they get to their tent.
***
“Alex, no — drop it!”
John grabs for him and Alex dodges, running to the other end of the campsite, the bag of marshmallows dangling from his teeth. He drops it, not for John, but to paw at the hole cut into one corner, trying to make it wider. Sugar smell, want want want. He bites at the opening and manages to snag one marshmallow before John snatches the bag from him.
“These are for s’mores,” he says, exasperated.
Alex grumbles. What’s the difference? They’re going to be eaten regardless, and Alex can’t have chocolate. Graham crackers are bland and not made for people whose canines evolved to better tear apart flesh and bones.
“We’re gonna toast them.” Oh, of course, that human fascination with cooking food. John continues, “Besides, you can’t be hungry, you ate an entire package of hot dogs.”
Like that’s ever stopped Alex from going through the trash. He whines, giving his best pout.
“Nope. That’s not working.”
He gets down on his belly and rolls over.
“You can wait the literal two minutes it’ll take to brown these.”
Fine. He slinks over to where he abandoned his book and lays down with a huff.
Three minutes later, he’s licking gooey marshmallow off John’s lips.
***
John has a hike planned the next morning. Nothing too long — Alex might have better stamina than him, but he hates exercise as much as he did when he was human, fetch and the occasional game of “chase me around the living room” being the exceptions. But it’s cool and green out, and Alex preens at the attention from other hikers, and when they reach the end of the trail there’s a waterfall.
Alex jumps onto a flat rock and tilts his face toward the spray. His whiskers twitch, eyelashes fluttering and collecting little droplets. John sits down next to him, shrugging off the backpack. “Having fun there?”
He wags his tail. Then his expression turns considering. John has just enough time to register his boyfriend tensing before Alex leaps into the water with a terrific splash.
Since the bite, Alex hasn’t been a big fan of baths, but he likes water — at least, more than he seemed to as a human. He paddles around for ten or so minutes before he climbs back onto the rock and shakes out his fur. John grimaces at the drops that spatter his face and shirt. Their tent is going to smell like wet dog tonight.
As if reading his mind, Alex flops into his lap, rubbing his muzzle on John’s cargo shorts. He looks up, fur sticking out in wet spikes. John bursts out laughing.
“I brought peanut butter bars,” he says. “Eliza gave me her recipe. I might’ve left them in the oven too long, though.”
Alex snuffles at the backpack, tail frisking.
“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t mind.”
***
The thing about the outdoors is, it gets dark sooner than in the cities. Not that Alex really cares about the dark: his night vision is good enough he could read by the full moon light (theoretically, if his eyesight wasn’t fucked for small type and the Roman alphabet), and he usually goes to bed around midnight even when he’s not working on a project. But John is human, and worn out from their day of hiking and swimming and playing tug-of-war with his shirt; once the fire dies down and the stars come out, he crawls into his sleeping bag and promptly falls asleep.
Alex turns in a circle, settles down on his blanket. Waits. John’s breathing is deep and even. Soothing, in the general mate is content, mate is safe sense, but it’s not getting Alex any closer to rest. He crosses his paws, flicks an ear. Outside the tent crickets chirp, an owl hoots. Something rustles through the underbrush.
That gets his attention. He lifts his nose, scents the air. Musk smell, animal smell. His mouth waters. A twig snaps in the distance. His ears perk and swivel. Big animal, close, sniff it out, run it down.
He glances at John. Mate is sleeping, mate won’t notice if Alex goes out for a quick hunt. He’ll be back soon, maybe bring a share of the kill with him.
Alex creeps out of the tent on silent paw pads.
***
The first thing John registers is that there’s something warm and wet on his face.
He forces his eyes open. There’s a dark blur in his vision; it takes a second for him to focus and realize it’s Alex’s muzzle. Alex noses at him again and whines. John sits up, blinking hard. “Babe? What’s wrong?”
Alex prances in place. The fur on his face is matted and slick, the rest of his coat disheveled. Where has he been? “Are you hurt? What happened?”
He grunts and bounds out of the tent. John follows in his t-shirt and boxers.
Outside, Alex has picked up a large, misshapen stick. No, not a stick — he lopes toward John with the thing in his mouth, and it’s not a stick, it’s a leg, it’s a fucking deer leg, the hoof still intact, and Alex shoves it at him.
John stumbles back with a yell. “What the FUCK?”
Alex pauses, his tail curling between his legs in confusion. He whines around the mouthful of animal carcass; he hasn’t dropped the leg, and his teeth glint in the moonlight.
“What the — where did you even find that?” Alex huffs, and John feels his stomach swoop. “You killed a deer? What the fuck, Alex? How —”
“HEY, what’s going on?”
A bright beam of light cuts across the campsite. John raises a hand to his eyes.
“Excuse me,” the woman says. She’s wearing a khaki uniform and a green jacket with RANGER in bold letters on the side. She aims her flashlight at them, and Alex cringes, moving closer to John. “Would you like to explain what happened?”
“Uh…” John brushes a stray curl out of his eyes. His hand comes away dark, and he realizes the wetness on his face is blood. Shit, he must look like a mess. What is a park ranger doing out here this late? Did the neighbors hear them and call someone? Or maybe she’s on patrol? John didn’t think park rangers did night patrols.
“Sir.”
“Sorry, ma’am.” John gives her the most charming smile he can muster. “My, um. My dog — I guess he found some dead animal. Just, startled me, is all.”
“This is your dog?” The ranger frowns.
“Yes, ma’am.”
She shoots him a Look. “You know wolfdogs are illegal in the state of California.”
“He’s licensed. And — uh, I got him at a shelter? I think he’s a shepherd mix.”
“Uh-huh.” She turns her light on Alex. He drops the deer leg and licks his lips, folding his ears down submissively. He looks at her with wide, sincere eyes. Her face softens.
John interrupts, “Yeah, so. Are we good here?”
“You said he found it?” The ranger glances dubiously at the leg on the ground, mostly intact and smeared with fresh blood. Alex inches closer and butts his head against her thigh with a whine. “Hey, boy,” she says, holding out her fingers for him to sniff. “Well, out-of-season hunting results in a fine. But, since you weren’t hunting… I suppose I can let you off with a warning. Just this once.”
John sighs, relieved.
“But make sure you keep…”
“Alex. His name’s Alex.”
“... Right. Keep Alex from wandering beyond the campsite without supervision. There’s bears and wolves around here, you know.”
Alex coughs. John glares at him.
“Oh, and make sure to get rid of that.” She points at the deer leg with her boot. Grimaces. “You don’t want to attract scavengers.”
“Sure thing.”
“If you want, I could…”
Alex grabs his prize by the ankle, tenses like a puppy ready to dash off with its newest toy.
“I think we can handle it,” John says.
“Then you boys have a good night.” She waggles her fingers at Alex. He frisks his tail.
John waits until he hears her driving off to address Alex. “Did you really have to do the whole puppy eyes thing?”
He snorts.
“Yeah, thanks for getting us out of a fine. You wanna get rid of that thing?”
Alex slaps his paws on the ground.
“No, no, I don’t want to play with it.”
He runs a few feet, dragging the leg with him. John sighs. Moves to rub his face, remembers the blood, thinks better of it. “Fine. Just… bury it, at least? Don’t bring it in the tent.”
Alex trots off to the other side of the campsite and settles down, gripping the leg between his paws so he can better gnaw on the protruding bone. John climbs back into the tent, puts the pillow over his head to muffle the sounds of his boyfriend eating a deer’s leg. At least he’s enjoying himself.
***
One perk of dating a werewolf is that John never wakes up cold.
Sometime during the night, Alex wormed into his unzipped sleeping bag and laid down next to him. His face is buried in John’s chest, and he makes little grunts and whuffs as he sleeps, ears flicking. John rubs the velvet fur of one ear between his fingers — it’s damp but not tacky with dried blood. Alex must’ve washed off after he finished his snack. John feels a warm flush of affection, despite the unsexy smell of wet dog. He presses a kiss to his head.
Alex stirs and squints at him.
“I was thinking we could go for another long hike,” John whispers, “but maybe we’ll just sleep in? I can cook sausage for breakfast.”
Alex closes his eyes and snuggles closer.
***
“Y’all leaving?”
John shoves his sleeping bag into the backpack. “Yeah, I have to TA a class tomorrow and I still need to finish grading their midterms.” Also Alex is starting to get his thumbs back and twisted the lid off the tea thermos this morning, but it’s not like John can mention that.
Thom laughs. “Just give ‘em all a B-minus.”
“Well, it’s a lab-based class, so it’s kind of important they can do the math.”
He waves a hand. “Grades are just an artificial metric for determining whether students grasp the basic concepts.”
Yeah, and John doesn’t think Ethan realizes he solved question thirteen with the formula for quadratic equations, which has nothing to do with the test. At least Ethan is a double-major; maybe he’s better at bassoon performance.
“Are you teaching this semester?” he asks.
“Nah, on sabbatical. Supposed to be finishing a book on Voltaire, but…” He makes a vague gesture. “My best work is more last-minute. Besides, I want the girls growing up in the outdoors, you know? Our lives are so industrialized these days. Is your dog reading a book?”
John glances over his shoulder. Alex snaps his copy of Gibbons shut with a guilty look.
“Oh. Um. He must’ve… gotten it out of my stuff.”
“Huh.” Thom stares at him for a moment, then shrugs. “Well, the girls will miss him. He’s a good dog. Seems real clever.”
“He is,” John says, a bit too enthusiastically. “Erm. I have some stuff for s’mores left over, if you and Mattie want a treat for the girls? I can’t eat it all myself.”
“Sure.” Thom accepts the half-full bag of marshmallows as well as the uneaten graham crackers and chocolate bars. “I’ll tell them you said bye. Gotta extend the nap for as long as possible — I can’t believe Mattie got them to lie down in the first place, their schedules have been out the window this vacation. You should swing by the philosophy department sometime. Bring the dog, I’m sure he’d have more to say on Foucault than my upperclassmen.”
“I’m… certain he would.”
Alex barks in agreement. John tries to imagine a class discussion on French philosophers being led by an opinionated werewolf.
“There you go, open-invite. Where’s the place you work? The girls are gonna want a dog after this weekend, might as well go local.”
John gives him the name of the shelter.
“You boys have a safe drive.”
***
Hour three of the ride back, John makes Alex drive, claiming he’s too tired to focus on the road. Alex thinks that’s a weak excuse for poor night vision, but since John organized the trip and loaded their gear into the car, he supposes he can do this thing. Even if he doesn’t particularly like driving anymore: his new chase impulse means he’s tense behind the wheel, ears swiveling every time a car zooms past. His paw pads don’t get much traction on the gas pedal, either, so he cruises just above the speed limit.
A compact car pulls alongside him. The driver taps on their horn — probably wants to flip him off, the asshole, he’s trying his best here, it’s not his fault he can’t wear shoes —
He sneaks a glance. The woman behind the wheel gapes, slack-jawed.
John mumbles, sinks down so his face is buried in his sweater. Alex returns his focus to the road. Warm, pleasant feeling inside him: he and his boyfriend had a romantic weekend, and it wasn’t even new moon.
He drives them home.
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alifurt · 5 years ago
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The Puppies’ Birthday
I can’t believe they are here! Our Tippy girl has had 7 adorable little puppies - 3 boys and 4 girls. She was due 7/15-7/19 and they came right in the middle on 7/17/19. 
During the daytime on Tuesday, Tippy had a drop in her temperature - a normal sign that labor is near. She started acting squirrely and trying to burrow under our house and behind bushes. She is not a digger but now we have some pretty good size holes around the front bushes. I didn’t want to get my hopes up but it seemed pretty promising that we’d be having puppies pretty soon.
Sure enough, that evening, Tippy was starting to pant like crazy and at 11:40pm when she jumped up on our bed her lubricant plug came out (which is a lot like water breaking). Not knowing exactly what that meant for timing, Tyler and I started getting things ready. Tippy was extremely restless and could not settle down to relax. We tried watching some TV knowing we probably weren’t going to get much sleep.
With lots of ups and downs, Tyler and I finally decided to take Tippy for a little walk on our street - not going far with lots of down and backs in case labor really started. She went to the bathroom countless times and it was clear she was trying to push but nothing was coming out. We went back inside fearing that a puppy would be born outside. Upon coming inside Tippy immediately went into her crate - not where we were planning to have puppies. Knowing that this was Tippy’s safe place, we let her get comfy (as much as she could) and we got some cushions to lay by her. Not too long after I heard Tippy clearly trying to push with a little whimpering.
We migrated her into her whelping box in our room so we could try to have pups where we were prepared and had all of our emergency supplies. We moved the cushions next to the box so we could lay by her while she labored. Finally at 3:00am Tippy stood up and started pushing for real. At 3:04am the first little puppy (408g) was born. It was a little girl who had the exact markings of her mama.
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Tippy was unsure what was happening for the first pup but her instincts kicked in and she cleaned up her eldest daughter. We had 62 minutes of downtime while mom and pup got to know each other before another little girl (418g) was born at 4:06am. Tyler and I were exhausted at this point - me having taken some melatonin and Tyler having taken some NyQuil because of a cold at 11:30, literally moments before Tippy started labor. Once Tippy started getting up and pacing again, Tyler went down to get the kids so they could see a puppy being born. They were super excited to be involved and see that two puppies had already been born.
The third pup, the first boy (417g), arrived only 34 minutes after the 2nd at 4:40am. Another boy (406g) quickly followed at 5:07am. Tippy was ready for a break at that point and Tyler got the kids some popcorn to make it even more of a fun experience. We all took a very brief rest not knowing if or when more puppies would be coming.
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I took Tippy out for a quick potty break and when we came back in she had another girl (a whopping 440g), mostly white this time with two black spots on her butt and a black head, at 6:49am. I had a meeting at 7am so I had to leave Tyler and the kids to watch Tippy. As my meeting was wrapping up I got the news at 8:15am another little girl (350g) was born and she, instead of black and white was mostly black.
Tyler and the kids had some breakfast after that while I prepared for another meeting. They were talking to my mom on FaceTime showing her the puppies and all of a sudden they saw that Tippy must have accidentally gotten the collar off the last little black puppy. Upon another look, they realized that she didn’t get the collar off but had just stealthy delivered another little black puppy (340g) at 10am! He was the final surprise for the morning and Vivian came running in during my meeting announcing the newest little surprise pup. Of course everyone on my web call wanted to see the pup so Vivian went to get the final little boy to show my coworkers.
Once my meetings were all done, I was in total mom (grandma???) mode and pretty much didn’t do anything other than clean up after Tippy for the rest of the day and also try to take a quick nap while kids watched some TV as I was quite exhausted by the afternoon and Tyler had gone to work for a team event and dinner with friends that had been planned. Of course, the day we had lots going on was the day Tippy had her puppies.
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Tippy has been an amazing mama and was a natural taking care of her pups from the get go. All of the pups have been gaining weight although both the little black pups are on the small side at about 100 grams less than the rest. We’ve been watching the last little dude very carefully as he is only very slowly gaining weight and he is quick to get pushed out of the nursing lineup.
The first night with the pups both Tyler and I were very light sleepers despite being exhausted - I can’t even imagine how tired Tippy must have felt - even I felt more exhausted than any of my own children’s births! 
During the night we helped a couple pups from getting lost and just generally checked on everyone’s wellbeing. Thursday was a blur of kids and puppies with a few visitors, Friday the kids and I ventured out of the house for a playdate at the beach trusting that Tippy and the pups would be ok on their own for their first time.
All went well and we stayed home the rest of the day with some more visitors.
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The pups are doing absolutely amazing and are the sweetest things. Today, we had their dewclaws removed and now it is just living the life until they open their eyes and ears around 10-14 days then they get their first deworming at two weeks. Once they have their first set of shots at 4 weeks, they should also be able to walk and we will be able to play with them a bit - the kids are really looking forward to that phase but are loving the cozy snuggles right now too.
4 days in and we are loving the puppy life. We can’t wait to see how they all grow into personalities to figure out which will be staying in our home. Right now, we are just so excited that Tippy and our whole family can bond with her sweet loves.
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mischiefandspirits · 7 years ago
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Scales and Arpeggios
Part of the Cat of a Different Color series
While Allura's resting from the Balmeran ceremony, the paladins go on a training mission. Meanwhile, the cats run into an old friend and see an enemy.
Part 1: Fur Real
The group heads off and Merla and Blue have a talk.
“Careful Merla,” Keith called as the cheetah dodged around their opponent's blade. He ran forward and locked blades with the robot. Using the distraction, Merla jumped onto its back, holding on with her dewclaws as she tripped it up with her hind legs. As soon as it hit the ground, she darted away and Keith made the final blow.
Merla panted as the Gladiator deconstructed. <Again?>
Keith nodded and called out, “Start trai-”
“End training sequence.” The two turned to see Shiro standing in the doorway, Ryou peeking over his shoulder. “We’re getting ready to leave for Coran’s training. Get cleaned up and meet us at Allura’s room.”
“Right.”
Once Keith was showered and both armored up, they met the others by Allura’s door. The princess was still laid up after the ceremony at the Balmera so she was staying at the castle while they were gone. Coran was already with her when they came inside.
“Hey gorg-” Lance began before Shiro shoved his shoulder.
“Morning, Princess. We all came to say goodbye before we leave.”
Pua gently stepped onto the bed to nuzzle Allura’s cheek and she chuckled. “I’ll miss you too, Yellow.”
“Is there anything we can get for you before we leave, Princess?” Coran asked.
The princess sat up slowly. “Coran, I am fine. I needn’t be doted upon like a-” She cut off with a gasp and fell back onto her pillows. “All right, perhaps I am a bit off-color.”
“Returning life to an entire Balmera is nothing to sneeze at,” Coran said, pulling her blankets back up.
“Take your time and rest up,” Shiro said, stepping forward. “We’ll only be gone for a day or so.”
“And where are you going again?”
“Coran says he’s going to take us to some kind of training grounds,” Hunk explained.
“Should be real exciting,” Keith said, less than enthusiastic.
Merla couldn’t help but agree. Between Allura’s weapon test, Coran’s blind flight, and the invisible maze, the Alteans didn’t exactly have the best track record when it came to training humans.
“Yeah, relax princess,” Lance said, leaning over her. “You won’t be missing anything. Except me.” He winked and did a finger gun.
Blue huffed and grabbed his paladin’s arm, dragging him out of the room as Allura groaned, “Now I am ill.”
The rest of the paladins said their goodbyes as Lance shouted at Blue from the hallway.
“The Fripping Bulgogian!”
Coran led the paladins and three of the cats into the tavern, or nunvillary as Coran called it, but Blue stopped Merla from following. <We’ll stay out here and keep watch,> he called to Ryou.
The liger nodded and disappeared inside.
Blue turned to Merla, who looked away from her love. <You’ve been avoiding me,> he said.
<No I haven’t. We sat together just this morning during breakfast.>
<With Keith and Lance sitting nearby. You’ve been avoiding being alone with me.>
Merla ducked her head.
<We need to talk about this at some point, love.>
<Do we really though?>
<Merla.>
<There’s nothing to talk about.>
<You’re paladin is Galra.>
<Half.>
<That’s something to talk about.>
Merla growled and jumped up to lay on her metallic form’s paw. Blue followed and curled up around her.
<You said he doesn’t know?>
<Liva left just after he was born and his so-called father and Shiro never knew,> she said. <He has a Galra dagger, but he doesn’t know what it means. As far as he’s concerned, the Galra symbol on it is just fancy decoration.>
<Could Shiro know? If he’s seen the dagger…>
<I doubt it. Akira gave the blade to Keith when he was little, inside a box with a few of Liva’s things, but Keith only started carrying the blade around after Shiro disappeared. As far as I know, Shiro never messed with the box out of respect and Keith keeps it wrapped up to protect the design so Shiro probably hasn’t seen it.>
Blue chuffed and nosed Merla’s snout. <He looks pretty human for a hybrid.>
<Liva!> Merla spat and her armored claws scratched against their perch. <She gave him something -- dark magic -- that changed his appearance. He didn’t look this human when he was born.>
<She used dark magic on him! No wonder you hate her so much,> he growled, his own claws flexing out and in. If anyone ever tried to use dark magic on Lance… <Are you ever going to tell him?>
Merla pressed into her love. <I… I don’t know. With everything going on… The paladins can’t have secrets. Once Keith knows, the others won’t be far behind. I don’t know how the others will react and I just can’t risk that. Everyone will have to know eventually -- especially considering… I just don’t think any of them are ready, not right now.>
<I understand,> Blue growled softly.
As they sat in comfortable silence and began to relax, they suddenly realized the slight distress coming from their paladins. They both looked up at the tavern.
<What do you think is happening in there?> Merla purred.
<Don’t know. Should we go in?>
They watched the entrance for a few moments.
<Naw, they don’t seem scared enough to be in danger. Keith probably just picked a fight,> Merla said, tucking her head over Blue’s. <As much as I love a good bar brawl, I’d rather stay like this.>
He chuffed and laid down, curling closer to her.
<Well this is…> Pua’s nose scrunched up. <No, I’m sorry. This place is a pigsty.>
<Is Pidge even old enough to be in here?> Chip asked, baring her teeth at a group of wolf-like aliens that were staring at her paladin.
<Are any of our paladins old enough to be in here, aside from Shiro?> Pua added, nervously looking at a pair of bartenders sending the cats considering looks.
<I’m not even sure Chip’s old enough to be in here->
<Hey!>
<- so just stick close to your paladins,> Ryou said, snapping at a muscular blue alien that tried to touch Chip while she was distracted.
<Uh, guys.>
The two turned at Pua’s call to see Coran picking a fight with a trio of aliens, Shiro and Keith looking ready to back him up.
“… Names in red, green, blue, yellow, and black. Five assigned seats, and none of them is for you,” Coran snapped, leaning into the face of the largest of the three, as the cats came to their paladins’ sides.
“Yeah?” the brute growled, standing up. Shiro and Ryou both stepped forward, though they went ignored. “Who’s they for?”
“The Paladins of Voltron!”
The aliens jumped at the new voice and fled, the large one calling out, “Wuh-oh. Time to cheese it, fellas!”
<Chickens,> Chip called.
“Well I’ll be a wabble’s plonk! Kythylian Mu!” Coran greeted the large, armadillo-like, blue alien that came up to the Altean.
“Coran, Coran the Gamblin’ Man.” The alien pulled Coran into a hug.
<Do you smell that?> Pua whispered to Chip.
The leopard sniffed the air and gave a soft growl. <Anodites! It smells like salmon and shrimp!>
<We shouldn’t.>
The two shared a look then slowly slipped away from the group, following their noses. They tracked the scent to a pair of Nyx snacking on what appeared to be a roasted turkey with four-wings and eight-legs.
<That looks delicious.>
<I want one.>
<We don’t have money.>
<Quiznak! How mad do you think Ryou would be if we just->
<I’m going to just stop you there, Chip.>
<You’re no fun… Merla would help me.>
<You both are terrible.>
<And you and your brothers are boring.>
<Is that so?>
The two spun around to find their leader standing over them.
<Oh, uh, hey, Ryou. You need something?> Chip asked, her tail twitching rapidly.
He glared down at the two. <What are you doing?>
<Contemplating the pros and cons of stealing food.>
<Pua!>
<What? You want to lie to him?>
Chip glared at the lion, then ducked her head. <Fair.>
<No stealing, especially not food,> Ryou huffed and shoved the two. <Now come on. If you two hadn’t been messing around you’d know we have a mission.>
<Seriously? I thought we were supposed to be training. What happened?>
Ryou sighed and turned to lead the two back to where the paladins were heading towards the exit. <Apparently Coran left some debts unpaid before falling asleep for ten thousand years so we need to go get a Yalexian Pearl to pay off his debts.>
<Ugh! That again!> Pua whined.
<Oh man! Does this mean we get to go back to see Zylin?> Chip chirped.
<Maybe.>
“Aw, look at them!”
The three looked over to see the paladins staring at Merla and Blue, who were curled up together asleep atop the Red Lion’s paw.
Growling, Ryou stomped over to the two. <Can any of my pride-mates be professional?>
“What are you up to, Ryou?” Shiro called.
<WAKE UP!> the liger roared from outside the particle barrier.
The tiger and cheetah scrambled to their feet.
<You two were supposed to be guarding the lions.>
<We were! We were just… astral projecting! Right, love?>
<What in the Anodites is astral projecting?>
<Merla!>
<This is ridiculous!>
<Be quiet.>
<She kind of has a point. Why can’t we just rescue Coran from this Mu guy?>
<Neither you nor Merla have room to complain. You both are going to be in big trouble once this is all over.>
<What are you going to do, ground us?>
<Don’t push me, Merla.>
<Anyways,> Chip cut in, trying not to laugh for fear of Ryou’s wrath. <Should we give our humans a hand?>
<Yeah, I could just tell->
<No,> Ryou cut off Merla. <Coran made a point to make it seem like this is something that hasn’t been done before. Poorly, but still.>
<Seriously? Why?>
<No idea, but for now we’ll just go with it. Coran’s not an idiot.>
<Not completely anyways,> Chip muttered.
<Come on, he can be forgetful sometimes, but he is pretty smart,> Pua said. <You guys shouldn’t be s- OH QUIZNAK!>
<Pua!>
“It’s got me!”
“Fire!”
<Careful! Don’t hit Pua!>
“It’s outer shell is too strong for the lasers!”
<I don’t care if you hit me -- I can take it -- just get this thing off my leg!>
“I think it’s gonna tear my leg off!”
<Keep calm, Pua.>
“I’m coming!”
<Thanks Ryou.>
“This thing’s armor is too strong for our weapons!”
“Our armor isn’t too strong for it! Another second and I would have been a leg without a leg!”
<Tell me about it.>
“If it can chop through Hunk’s armor, the rest of us are cooked.”
“I think we know what we need to do.”
“FORM VOLTRON!”
{Engaging Voltron Interlock. Red and Green Lions connected. Blue and Yellow Lions connected. Black Lion Faceplate released. Voltron Interlock engaged. Engaging Voltron Shield. Voltron Shield engaged.}
“Split it open, Keith!”
{Red Bayard inserted. Scanning. Red Paladin Keith Bayard operation accepted. Weapon formed.}
<Take this you- Language! Eat Dwylip! Focus!>
“So maybe we should just leave?”
<Tactical retreat?>
“We can’t. We’re the only thing standing between that monster and those houses.”
<Point. Bad point. Merla! Live near beast. Probably prepared. Love’s right.>
“We don’t have any weapons strong enough to hurt it.”
<Better point. Hush!>
“We need some of those shoulder blades it used on Hunk.”
<I studied the bla- NOT NOW CHIP!>
“That’s it! I know how to beat it. Put the shield away. We’ll have to do this just with the sword.”
<What thinking? Epicness!>
“I hope you know what you’re doing!”
{Disengaging Voltron Shield. Voltron Shield disengaged.}
“Get ready!”
<Hahahahahahaha! Merla…>
“On my mark, push down and in with everything we’ve got. Ready? PUSH!”
<Victory!>
“Nice work, Keith!”
“That’s the way to use your opponent’s strength against him.”
“Sharp work, samurai.”
<Aw! How cu- Don’t.>
“Do you think that was the yalex?”
<Nope.>
“I don’t see any pearls.”
<Oh look. Tiny bugs. Giant bugs. Big as human children. Sweet.>
“Looks like the welcome wagon is here.”
“What happened? Oh no! The Guardian has been slain!”
“Guardian?”
<Oh no.>
{Red Bayard ejected. Weapon deconstructed.}
“Did that guy just say Guardian?”
{Disengaging Voltron Interlock. Voltron Interlock disengaged.}
“We’d better land and find out what he means. But good job working together on that monster that attacked us.”
“Maybe you should be saying, ‘Great job, Lance.’”
<Excuse me?>
“What are you talking about? I’m the one that formed sword.”
<My sword!> Merla hissed, phasing out of her metallic body to prowl next to her paladin.
“Oh, plugging in a bayard, real hard!” Lance scoffed. “I coordinated a complex pivoting movement with a mechanical, leg-shaped lion!”
<All things considered, I’m pretty sure that means we did all the heavy-lifting,> Pua pointed out, nudging his sister.
“How hard can that be? Hunk flies a leg.”
“Hey!
<Excuse me!>
<Love, mind your cub!>
“Sorry. But you always say you’re the worst pilot.”
“Oh, totally.”
<Merla, Blue, stay with the lions.>
<But->
<And stay awake this time.>
Merla glared at the liger as he, Chip, Pua, and the paladins continued forwards to meet the bug-like aliens.
<This is unfair.>
<We did fall asleep on guard duty.>
<Please. Guard duty was just an excuse and you know it. Our shields will keep anyone out. I mean, we left the lions alone right in the middle of a Galra occupied Balmera.>
Blue hummed and came up behind the huffy cheetah and started grooming her. <Of course, love.>
<I hate you.>
<Uh huh, sure. Love you too.>
Up ahead, the group was watching the alien in the fancy clothes yell at them.
“… protected us from the most terrifying beast in the galaxy, Abomination !”
“Wait, another monster? No, no, no, not again,” Hunk groaned. “We just got out of a fight! We’re looking for the Yalexian Pearl.”
<Are we going to have to kill this Abomination too? Will we get yelled at then as well?> Chip questioned.
“You killed our guardian for the Yalexian Pearl? What kind of monsters are you?”
<We’re not monsters. We’re friends,> Pua growled softly. He tried to approach the aliens, then jumped back when one tried to hit him with their stick.
“Back monster!”
<Stay back. Let the paladins handle this,> Ryou ordered, shuffling back behind the humans and the other two cats followed.
“We’re not monsters. We’re paladins. Those lions you see there transform into Voltron, Defender of the Universe,” Shiro tried to explain reassuringly.
“Never heard of it.”
<Why is it that Reject’s the only one who knows who we are anymore?> Chip growled, clawing at the ground.
“It has been ten thousand years,” Lance sighed.
“I am Shiro. This is Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Keith, Ryou, Chip, and Pua. We’re the good guys,” Shiro tried again.
“I am Elderbug Blate, the town’s leader. I’m in charge of keeping everyone safe from squashing -- something you just made much more difficult.”
<Well, excuse us for not wanting to be killed by a giant bug,> Chip growled.
“Can you please tell us where the pearl is? Our friend’s life is at stake,” Pidge pleaded, leaning down.
“I’m not telling you anything, and I’m the only one here that knows where it is,” Elderbug Blate scoffed.
“What if we defeat your monster, this Abomination?” Keith offered.
“How can we possibly trust you? You’ve doomed us all!”
<That’s good. I didn’t much feel like helping you lot anyways,> Chip snorted. <Ungrateful little bugs.>
<Chip,> Ryou growled.
“What’s that smell?” Hunk asked and his lion scented the air.
<Ooh! That smells amazing!> Pua chuffed and he and his paladin slipped away from the others.
“We know you’re scared, but we will protect you.”
“Why should we trust you and your robot felines? Maybe we should be seeking revenge…”
“Great job, Keith. You destroyed their Guardian!”
“Me? That was your fault!”
<Oh, so now he gives him credit,> Chip snorted.
<Which one?> Ryou asked.
<Both of them. Maybe Merla’s onto something.>
“HOLY CROW! LOOK AT ALL THIS FOOD!”
Around the bend, Hunk and his lion were salivating over a literal hill of food.
“After the Guardian ate the bowl of food, He would only eat a few of our people,” an alien next to Hunk was explaining as the boy tossed in a few herbs.
“Yeah, if you add a little of this, and some of that… Wait, did you say ‘Ate a few of our people!?’ What kind of guardian eats villagers!? ”
“Well after we made the feast, He would come and eat our food…” the alien said, trailing off as she ate some of Hunk’s improved on food. “And a few villagers… But He always kept Abomination away. We would eat whatever was left in celebration of another year protected. But our Guardian probably wouldn’t have eaten any villagers if He had a meal as delicious as this one!”
<She’s got a point,> Pua growled softly, lapping up some of the mix. <This is the best stuff I’ve had since we left Earth!>
“What is the meaning of this? You destroy our Guardian and desecrate our sacred meal!?”
Pua immediately scrambled away from the food. <I wasn’t doing anything!>
Ryou sighed as Chip laughed.
“It’s delicious! Everyone must try it!” the food alien cheered at the same time that Hunk said, “I didn’t know it was sacred. It just tasted like it could use a little more seasoning-”
“Enough! You’ve ruined too much,” Elderbug Blate shouted. “I’d rather this village be smushed by Abomination than deal with one more insult from the likes of you! It’s time we stomped you out!”
The food alien rolled her eyes and jumped down to hold out her plate to the elderbug. “Just try it, dad. I know you’ll like it!”
The elderbug scowled, but scooped a little bit of the food into his mouth. His eyes widened and he yelled to the heavens, “This is incredible!”
Immediately all the other villagers started scooping up some of the food to try for themselves, letting out sounds of enjoyment as they did so.
“Perhaps we misjudged you. Maybe after you defend us from Abomination, I will tell you where the pearl is,” Elderbug Blate announced.
Boom.
<Woohoo! My paladin just saved the day!> Pua cheered slinking back over to the food.
Boom!
<Great job,> Ryou chuffed, noising the boy’s side.
Boom!
“Let us commence the feast and celebration. To our paladins!”
“Great! Let’s eat! I’m-”
BOOM!
“- starving…” Hunk trailed off and turned to see the cause of the loud stomping coming towards them. “What’s that noise?” A giant shadow cloaked the village. “Aww man!”
A giant beast stood a few miles away, gazing down at the village hungrily.
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noahwareness · 7 years ago
Text
ONCE REMOVED: ON TAXIDERMY AND TAXONOMY
for Luke There I was, stitching Percy the teagle together—four lengthwise strips, that is, of tabby and juvenile beagle— cat's name was Periwinkle, dog collar said L. Schmidt, and I sure might have counted the teeth better. Whole face had crept out of order. Like all the wide world's gingivitis united within my teagle to build itself a ten-lane speedway. Man deserves a challenge sometimes. You bore yourself wrapping desiccated trout around pre-molded fiberglass, retouching their goddamned scales Diffuse Moonlight #32. Besides, diffuse moonlight's forty-one dollars fifty a jar. We're fallen back on shellac and ecru house paint… You ever seen an ouroboros? Snake's asshole vanishes up his own maw, so there's no beginning to him anymore. Hard knowing how to start... no, I'm shitting you. It's Saul. The ketamine was too efficacious, I couldn't distinguish his galoshes on the concrete from ambient buzzing. Or get the tarp over my teagle in time. Abruptly he flaps up—it's that bad yellow raincoat he's in—and he might be my cousin, but there's birdshit on his specs. He leans in and kootchie-koos the unseamed abomination like his own plush Garfield cat. Saul would get drinking at dawn. These days I don't mean the clear liquor. Said the fluid would arrest his aging. He stopped recollecting things, how many knees on a squirrel, and he'd lose entire smokes pouring the molds... Never seen so many filter-tip drakes. Friend, even if you do need a duck who won't decay before all human memory lays in tatters, you might still take your custom elsewhere. Anyhow, I finally dragged Lucky the cougar back inside, extracted the milk bottle from his caved-in asshole... Hours later he's doing time as Saul's hassock, missing teeth where somebody opened a beer with his face. I didn't complain on it, just took a blunt from the porpoise, got my fuzzy earmuffs and hit the cold room—I wanted to organize some frozen whooping cranes and relax, but the cranes were already in perfect order. Wingspan. Cloacal width. Hue, saturation and chroma. Diameter. Cause of death. Presence or absence of vestigial dewclaws. I squat down, start randomizing the whoopers, whereupon my cousin's shabby bowline hitch slips in the rafters— Bucky the elk plummets twelve feet to the tile, nosefirst. Like a frozen pond meets a porcelain piano full of steak. So I put four hundred pounds of elk chips in the bin, bleeding through my prized earmuff where I'd intercepted a flying shard of tenderloin. But needle and thread's worth two doctors, I've always thought, and Bucky's haunches were still rosy fine. Unholstering my bone saw, I riddled aloud to Saul what kind of sort might need a human torso— for instance, someone in possession of an incomplete satyr... Now, you can correct an ouroboros with an ordinary pair of wire cutters—Shit, though, I've become morbid. See this lifelike iguana? She'd crawl right off her mount, clickety-clack talons on the desk, parietal eye pulsating, tongue sniffing for mangos in your ear, right? She's a favour to the best customer we've got: Tucker the barber, she grew that lizard from a spermatozoon. Better than any dog; no dog can pluck no-see-ums from the air. Tucker the barber came to me weeping... stray Buick hubcap bullseyed her reptile while she sunned herself on the gazebo rail. Hands me an old oil bucket, there she all is: four-foot leather hematoma with spikes and a dewlap. This is ten days later. No charge for Tucker... I'm joking, friend. That iguana, she was born a salmon. Her jawline still has a few imperfections, but what's perfect? There's days I can't tell my eyes to match. Don't know why I bothered hiding anything under that dusty yellow tarp. Saul was too busy spilling butyraldehyde on his khakis to ever peek underneath. Ever seen a jackalocust? —Half jackal, half locust. We surprise ourselves sometimes. Catfish, dogfish, geese orientated centripetally. Traffic cone fish—these really puzzle the cat. Pear-headed chicken—hippopotagriff— oysterantula. Gopher tree, that there's from Genesis 6:14. Lindorm—praying manta ray—praying manta reindeer— chicken-faced pear. Aurumvorax there needs touching off with pyrite. Over there's the cat, finally at peace with Yip and Yop, the Siamese bunyips. You can guess where I found the top for my satyr, and his raincoat needed no alteration. All the fucker does now is smoke. I'd spend nights here, make a blanket of the tarp, except I'd gotta fix that cougar. Can't handle the way he implores me from the dog's-eyes encircling his rent asshole, begging for a change of pelt and a colostomy bag.
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