#she had a nice schoolyard fight to intro her character

[juanabaloo]

ugh watching Sicario: Day of the Soldado and i do not recommend it. i'm only watching for Isabela Merced, who plays Isabel Reyes in it.

Anyways it's very bad and I realize it's sort of like the Elon Musk (most derogatory) fantasy version of that King of the Hill episode where Peggy accidentally kidnaps a little Mexican girl.

this movie is sort of like they decided to remake True Lies, but make it WAY MORE racist (which is REALLY saying something), and also less diverse, and also no comedy at all. i'm only *checks* OMG i'm only half way through it. Ugh.

[near-dareis-mai]

HDM Episode 1x06 recap

Recap of His Dark Materials Episode 1x6: The Daemon Cages

So we start off with Lyra getting introduced to life in prison Bolvagar

Establishing shot to remind us that we’re in the north

so lyra decides to sit by herself so as not to let the gobblers/bolvangar guards know that her and roger are friends

of course they decide this via a not-at-all obvious tete a tete between their respective daemons

a girl comes to sit at Lyra’s table and anyone with the slightest sense of narrative framing should already know where this is going

Of course their dinner is interrupted by the Bolvangar doctor, accompanied by handmaid# 2, who asks for lyra’s table buddy to come with her

then we get a 10 second creepy shot of handmaid# 3 staring right at us, for no real reason, until she's interrupted by the doctor

which segues into the intro music

up next, we get another doctor, who tells lyra that he needs to take some kind of "measurements" from her

lyra figures out that he’s taking pictures of the dust around her through the special camera

which prompts the doctor to ask where she found out about dust

the doctor buys it, of course

then lyra, truly the child of lord "gives no fucks" asriel and marissa "gives negative fucks" coulter, straight up calls him out on cutting children from their daemons, which the doctor of course denies

then they get interrupted by the fire alarm, and handmaiden #4 (or just #3 again? I'm losing count) gives directions to go to the nearest fire exit in the most robotic voice ever

we then cut to a very prison-like locker room where all the children are getting into their jackets, while being watched over my more handmaids  

more handmaids are taking roll call outside

surprise snowball fight started by lyra and roger, because this show is really determined to drive that schoolyard/recess allegory in with an anvil 

lyra and roger escape while the snowball fight is happening

they run in a direction which roger thinks is the way out and i have Questions as to why he would ever think that

another dead-eyed handmaid is coming around the bend (seriously do they order them from handmaid-costco or something?) so lyra and roger have to hide

they realize that they're in the room where the children's severed daemons are kept, neatly filed away by name

but cage containing billy costa's daemon is empty, of course

then they find the room in which all the children who have undergone intercision are kept

lyra and roger rejoin the other children as they go back in, resolving to escape before lyra is chosen for intercision next

meanwhile, bolvangar has an avian visitor

then we get a way-too-creepily-normal breakroom scene with the two bolvangar doctors

doctor# 2 seems to be exhibiting signs of having an actual conscience

then we cut to "our" world, where will is listening to an interview of his father's on his laptop, and then tucks his mother into bed

of course they're being watched by Lord Boreal's goons

STAY AWAY FROM THEM! GET A JOB!!

meanwhile back in Lyra's world, She is here, and the children all know it as soon as they wake up

lyra has a talk with the other girls and they agree to hide her from mrs. coulter

the girls tell lyra to hide under the bed, and the rest of them pretend nothing is out of place when marisa comes in to inspect them

meanwhile, we check in with the Gyptians who are trying to break into Bolvangar and save the kidnapped children (seriously, how is this show managing to juggle so many locations and characters in 50 minutes??)

back in bolvangar, lyra is organizing the girls to break out

doctor# 1 is back, and asking for Lizzie Lyra this time

lyra says goodbye to her newfound friends

lyra tries to make a break for it, but is stopped when doctor# 2 catches her daemon

dr. conscience locks pan up in a cage

of course lyra raises hell trying to get him out

LYRA YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

but she’s eventually subdued

doctor# 1 primes the intercision machine

pay not attention to the incredibly sharp giant blade 

as a last resort, lyra screams out for mrs. coulter and well, speak of the devil

then, marisa sees who's in the cage

of course she stops the “experiment” and saves lyra

we cut to lyra recuperating in what are presumably marisa’s quarters in bolvangar

we finally get a chance for lyra and marisa to talk, and for some things to be explained

and it just kinda goes downhill from there, guys

lyra asks her mother why she is intercising children and marisa gives her the same half-gospel half-pseudo-science spiel that we've seen everyone else give

Lyra of course calls her out by asking the obvious question here... if intercision is such a positive thing, then why was Marisa so afraid of Lyra undergoing it?

marisa promises not to hurt lyra's friends and of course lyra claps back because billy is already dead

marisa then explains to lyra that this experiment is her calling in life, and she's not about to be stopped by petty things like a conscience

marisa asks for the alehtiometer, and lyra hands over the box that it's presumably in

lyra escapes while marisa and her daemon are busy fighting off the metal-insect-spider-tracking thingy

synchronized screaming... loving these mother daughter bonding sessions the show is giving us!

lyra pulls the fire alarm, and tells the other kids to get out while she keeps the bolvangar guards distracted

in a truly horrifying intermission scene, we learn that the dead-eyed handmaids have in fact had their daemons intercised from them

roger finds the intercised children and tries to get them to leave with him, while lyra blows up the intercision machine

the children try to escape but are waylaid by Dr. Conscience and his bolvangar goons

who are then waylaid by the Gyptians coming to the rescue

because prison break-in is a family fun activity, the whole gang is here

meanwhile, the Gyptians are obviously outnumbered by the Bolvangar guards 

why, perhaps a witch by the name of Serafina Pekkala?

I didn’t have to take this many screenshots of Serafina taking out the trash. I CHOSE to take this many screenshots of Serafina taking out the trash.

then she peaces back out as quickly as she came

look who's still alive

we don’t even have time to breathe after the battle, before lyra says goodbye to the Gyptians and the freed children, and continues with roger, scoresby and iorek to free lord asriel

serafina pekkala shows up on the balloon out of nowhere but i'm not complaining because i'm always happy to see madame pekkala on my screen

lee and serafina have a very Important and Foreshadowing talk about lyra

cut to cute scene of Lyra cuddling to sleep with Iorek

LEE ADMITS HE LOVES LYRA THE ADOPTION PAPERS ARE GOING THROUGH IMMEDIATELY

then serafina bounces, and we should have the nice, peaceful, hopeful ending THAT WE ALL DESERVE, but of course we don’t, because lee gets woken up in the middle of the night by some noises

between all the chaos of fighting off the cliff ghasts, lyra tumbles out of the balloon

the return of synchronized screaming, the only true Lyra Family Bonding Experience

and that’s what you missed on Glee