#she gets to keep her lesbian colors from the second movie. obviously

[doesromandoart]

redesigned Mariposa again because I've never loved the outfits they put her in. she deserves to be cute

[phoenixyfriend]

The Naruto/Frozen Crossover

So I was planning on just doing an image ID thing for this post, but apparently the formatting on desktop is such a mess that it’s easier to just make a new post that’s text only. I can also like. Bulletpoint it so that it can be a little neater. All ideas were made with @firebirdeternal​‘s help, because they are the most efficient enabler I have.

Also I added some bits at the end.

Under a cut, because it’s Long As Heck.

I originally had two options: either Mid-teens Elsa and Anna being transported to ninja land sometime pre-canon and running into Haku and Zabuza... or just like. Born as a Daimyou's daughters.

Spoiler alert, we’ve got nukenin and I’m a sucker for an intrusive crossover, so transported to ninja land it is.

Suggestion from Birdie:

Mechanism for crossover: Elsa ices over a Wishing Well by accident after having Wished for someone else who understood her, Anna and her fall in and get Ice Mirror Portaled to Ninjaland, falling out of an iced over pond near a shrine that Haku recently prayed at for similar lonely child reasons?

Which I like! They don’t end up there soon enough to run into Haku, because I want a dramatic chase first, but I like it.

Obviously, Anna is forced to learn about Elsa's powers because it's the only thing keeping them safe

Or at least alive

(Elsa will do ANYTHING to keep Anna safe, and if that means she has to get her hands dirty...)

...neither of them knows Japanese, so, you know. There’s that.

I'm thinking that they end up in/near Kiri at first

And they aren't FAST ENOUGH to get away so Elsa panic-enchants a giant reindeer made of snow to run away across the suddenly-frozen ocean.

She and Anna have to ride and Elsa is probably crying the whole time.

Oh shit this is like. RIGHT after their parents die, I forgot. So that’s a thing! They are in mourning and all that fun stuff.

Point is, they use the powers for a Self Defense thing and BBY Haku is just !!! "Master can we rescue them for Ice Cousin reasons?" Zabuza: Yes, and only for those practical reasons and not because I collect endangered children like people collect pokemon cards.

I imagine that maybe they track rumors of a Yuki-onna down, or the Giant Snow Reindeer rides by and Haku’s just like Wat

The girls just tag along with Zabuza because. Like.

Do they like him? No. Do they trust him? No. Do they enjoy the fact that he considers them pathetic civilians? No.

However, Haku is Baby.

Zabuza is REALLY annoyed at them being Useless Civilian Royals “but Haku likes them so I guess they can stay.”

Age at meeting, three years pre-canon:

Zabuza - 23

Elsa - 18

Anna - 15

Haku - 12

Elsa is 90% anxiety/depression master combo BUT if Zabzua protects her then she's WILDLY dangerous so like. Whatever

Elsa's bingo book nickname options, uninspired:

Winter Witch

Winter Queen

Ice Queen

Snow Queen

Something about a Yuki-Onna maybe

She's Very Stately and kinda breakable but Winter is her Bitch

I mean like, the fact that, if protected, she can shut down the agriculture of a fucking country? That's an S-rank even if she's not that useful in a fight.

She's like. Jinchuuriki-level destruction. Generally speaking she wouldn’t. But she could.

Elsa: What the fuck is a chakra? Elsa: my snow monsters are self-sustaining. Elsa: I'm gonna build us a house.

Zabuza has NO idea how her powers work and it is INCREDIBLY frustrating but “there’s no chakra cost to keep these things going and we have shelters on demand” is too convenient to question after a while.

Haku: Delicate, deadly, incredibly fast ninja work. Elsa: I can't dodge a kunai but watch me wreck your entire country's ecosystem in under a day.

Elsa is a siege weapon.

Meanwhile, Anna is really, really into the physicality of ninja practice.

She's clumsy and she's not very good at ninja stuff, but she sure is determined!

Anna also gets on Zabuza's nerves because she keeps insisting that Haku get to be a kid.

Anna: Let's make flower crowns! Zabuza: No, he needs to train, not- Anna: FLOWER CROWNS

Consider: Haku saying Elsa-nee-sama and Anna-hime.

Or just calling Elsa “onee-sama.”

Anna is also younger than Elsa and way more Fun so she probably gets adjusted to Anna-chan or Nee-chan.

If Zabuza calls Elsa “Hime-chan” or “Elsa-hime” or, Sage forbid, “Elsa-sama/dono” then he’s VERY MUCH making fun of her and he’s probably getting his soup frozen that night.

At one point, Elsa... tries to like. Convince herself to have a crush on Zabuza or Kakashi or something until Zabuza just puts a hand on her shoulder and asks "do you even like men?" "...that's an OPTION?"

Zabuza urging her to try and ask out a Cute Kunoichi and Elsa's like.... I can't decide if she's bright red and a useless lesbian or uncomfortable and ace.

I am SO invested in the siege weapon thing.

SHE IS THE SQUISHIEST WIZARD.

It's not her fault that every single other combatant on the continent is Massively Dangerous in melee! She took a very traditional back-line build!

Enemy: Doesn't it GRATE to protect someone so pathetic, Zabuza? Zabuza: She literally froze an entire castle of enemies to death because they harmed her sister, so. No.

Most Ninjas: Sharp Knife. S-Rank Mega Ninjas: Gun. Elsa: High Yield Explosive Rocket Launcher. Literally loses fights to the Knife People, because she can't bring her power to bear on that scale. But if you can give her Time and Prep? No contest.

Long distance AoE

Like  you know how Nagato is literally dying of starvation due to illness and can't walk, but he's also capable of leveling powerful villages more or less on his own?

Elsa is the same Vibe.

It’s like sealing a bijuu in a civilian.

She's honestly both more and less powerful? Like it'd be hard for her to kill everyone in Konoha in the snap of a finger? But also, she could starve out the Country of Fire in a summer.

She WOULDN'T, but she could.

I always read Elsa as gay or ace but my brain keeps trying to ship her with dude ninjas and I have to yank it back on a child leash.

People insinuate that Zabuza is interested in Elsa and he's just "What? Ew she's like five."

"I'm eighteen."

"Five."

BUT

Elsa! Might mistake trust and companionship for a crush!

I can see THAT happening despite gay/ace.

Also like. I don’t think Zabuza is straight.

So mlm/wlw solidarity?

And Haku is probs genderqueer.

So Anna is THE TOKEN STRAIGHT.

Anna is like, the Straight Friend who will go to the mat for her queer friends. Like vicious. In-your-face barking like a mean dog at people who were being bigots.

You know how Elsa in the second movie uses her powers to make toys for kids out of ice?

Okay, so her practicing by making things with Haku.

But yeah, Elsa can't really do "throws ice senbon," but she can do Delicate Geometry Things since she apparently, canonically studies math for fun and loves fractals.

Haku: I can trap you in a prison of ice mirrors, and you are at my mercy. Elsa: LOOK AT THIS CASTLE I MADE???

Haku wants to do Pretty Things like Elsa

OH.

Elsa makes... snow bunnies..

For the ninja distraction reasons but also because it's a Soft Thing that makes her feel better about, uh, everything. And Haku likes bunnies.

Zabuza still takes The Dirty Missions but Elsa gets upset when he does something that hurts innocents and Nobody wants Elsa upset. Even Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset.

When Elsa gets upset, overnight accommodations are suddenly Very Uncomfortable for everyone except her and Haku.

And then Anna gets upset, which makes Elsa even MORE upset.

And then things just keep getting colder.

Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset for many reasons, not limited to: "Is actually capable of killing me from outside of Sword Range if she's mad enough, even if it’s not that easy" and "the Small Children would be unbearably sad if she died and honestly so might I."

She's more of a friend than a ward and he's not entirely sure he's okay with that.

Zabuza: "Ew, friendship."

He has absolutely no idea how to have a social interaction with people he isn't Bullying, Raising, or Threatening to Kill.

Elsa and Anna have no trouble convincing people they're related, at least. Different coloration with almost identical bone structure.

A tendency to burst into song when they feel emotions.

Identical weird accent that nobody can place.

FOOD

The girls are royalty, they don't know how to COOK.

But they also want food from HOME.

It's a lot of trial and error.

More error than not, since they have both no knowledge and also a language barrier to overcome. It probably takes YEARS before they can describe things like Unfamiliar Flavors well enough for people to say "OH that sounds like spearmint."

When they run into something they know that’s familiar, it’s life-changing.

Chocolate is more common in the elemental nations than in Arandelle and Anna may or may not cry about it.

Anna is loudly bossy, even at Zabuza.

Zabuza is gruffly commanding, to everyone.

Elsa doesn't actually like being in charge, but when she talks, people LISTEN.

(Haku is just happy to be here.)

Elsa radiates two things: Anxiety, and Natural Command, and she basically just fluctuates between those.

"I don't want to be in charge but also I'm vetoing this."

So, obviously, the main reasons that Zabuza keeps the girls around is that Elsa is a living siege weapon and he thinks she could be convinced to help him run a revolution in Kiri, and also that the Ice Queen schtick is like. Really good for Haku and Zabuza can’t really say no to the kid.

HOWEVER, Anna is clumsy and messy and all that, so Zabuza starts training her in Ninja stuff. Elsa joins in on the “I need to know how to Run Fast to get away from fights I don’t want to have in the first place,” but Anna’s the one that’s like “TEACH ME HOW TO SWORD.”

It’s honestly not that hard to teach her, she’s just really, really, REALLY enthusiastic.

Once or twice someone asks why she’s so bad at this yet running around with an A-rank nukenin and Zabuza’s just like “I’ve only had her for a year and a half, shut up!” because it’s not that he’s a bad teacher, it’s that she was a very pampered civilian until like a week before he met her.

He should get a MEDAL for even getting her to low Chuunin.

Zabuza: I'm taking a job from Gato Elsa, who has Training in economics and politics and bureaucracy: I have a better idea.

This is actually not entirely what I’d do but I wanted to make the joke first ANYWAY here’s an actual plot or something.

Oh, also by this point everyone is Canon Ages so Elsa’s 21 and Anna’s 18 and Zabuza’s 26 and Haku’s 15.

Elsa is getting paid to keep the water from interfering with construction, by way of....

ICE COFFERDAM

Elsa with Haku as her Guard while Zabuza is off running his own mission? Which Anna begged to go on because Cool.

Elsa also kind of keeps her involvement on the ice front semi-secret by claiming she’s there as an engineering consultant.

LISTEN canon made her like geometry, I can ENTIRELY believe she’d be excited about the bridge-building.

Gato has hired someone else on the danger level of Zabuza, who is Threatening to Team 7 + Haku? But then when things look bleak Anna and Zabuza arrive and then Scary Sword Man is on our side and oh dear that's a lot of blood.

Which, you know, fun!

Birdie suggested Raiga which I’m not feeling but I do feel the need to bring up as an option.

It’s also not Kisame BUT

Kisame: [giant lake dome filled with sharks]

Elsa: uhhhhhhhhhhh...

Giant lake dome: [is now a giant ice dome]

Anyway

Gato: I'm hiring an army. Elsa: [giant ice wall around his compound] Gato: ... these guys can walk up walls! Elsa: [adds snowman guards] Elsa: ... Elsa: [adds a ceiling]

Just puts Gato's entire mob in a fucking snow globe.

Zabuza shows up twenty minutes late with (Throwing) Star(buck)s just like "Oh, they dead? No? Want 'em to be? Okay cool I'm gonna go pick up Haku, I'll be back in like an hour."

Anna would... LOVE Naruto

ENERGETIC FRIENDLY GOOFBALL

"I found us a baby brother!" "No, we already have Haku." "BUT LOOK AT HIM."

Anna is only a year or two older than Itachi.

OH RIGHT

I wanted to make a joke about how Naruto also vibes with her because he's less judgmental that she can't really... talk properly.

Sasuke is Judgy and Kakashi is Paranoid and Sakura is Uncomfortable.

Meanwhile Naruto is just like "And I Shall Scream."

Anna, who learned Japanese from Zabuza (rude) and Haku (uber polite): WELL FUCK YOU, GOOD SIR Naruto: YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO, LADY Elsa, overly formal: I am... so very sorry.

Anyway, generic missing nin fights and all that.

Elsa gets injured in the process and after a variety of arguments, Naruto manages to convince them to take her to Konoha for medical attention.

Elsa is... usually the one getting injured.

Zabuza and Haku are FAST and Anna is at least learning (even if she’s only been doing it for three years), but Elsa is The Squishy Wizard.

If someone throws a kunai... she can’t... really dodge...

So yeah, gut wound.

Normally they find a nukenin medic to patch them up but Konoha is reasonably close and has some of the more skilled medics on the continent and they DID technically help the Konoha nin so like. Gah.

That’s Zabuza’s final thought. Gah.

Just “Fuck it, let’s save the ice queen.”

Elsa ends up in a half-literal-ice stasis state on the way there and it’s happened before (it is not the first time she’s been stabbed), but it’s always terrifying.

Especially to the Konoha genin who are just like WHAT THE HECK IS THAT.

So they get to Konoha, there’s a whole bunch of stuff about extradition treaties and “you are bringing a literal WMD of a woman into our town” and “we can’t just let MOMOCHI ZABUZA in.”

Anyway, it ends up being that Zabuza has to wait outside the village while Elsa is treated inside, and one of the Teenagers goes in. Obviously, it’s Anna, because Zabuza is INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE with letting Haku enter a village that’s known for having lots of bloodlines, and anyway, Anna’s the sister.

Bunch of stuff, she’s healing, etc, and then one day Anna comes in and is told “your sister had a bad reaction to the anesthetic, we couldn’t save her, I’m sorry, she’s gone.”

She flips out, gets shown the corpse, flips out MORE, gets escorted out to the village walls where Zabuza and Haku are waiting.

Horrified reactions

Zabuza doesn’t want to admit that it’s EMOTIONS because this is his FRIEND, he is clearly just upset about losing the living siege weapon.

Haku is just super confused and goes “But she’s not dead.”

“What.”

“She’s not dead, I can feel her, I can always feel her, it’s like sensing but just her, because we’re both ice. She’s alive, somewhere over... there?”

And points right in the direction of the Hokage Mountain, which for the purposes of this fic and also Drama is where ROOT headquarters is.

YEP we absolutely have that plot point.

Is Danzo overused as a plot device? Probably. Am I going to diabolus ex machina him anyway? Ye.

They kick up enough of a fuss that the Hokage gets called down.

He wouldn’t, normally, he’d leave it to a couple of skilled jounin and call it a day, except Naruto got involved so like. You can’t. Ignore that.

There’s lots of shouting.

Just like. A lot.

And then part of the mountain explodes!

AS ONE DOES

Elsa comes flying backwards out of the hole, catches herself on a spontaneous ice slide, gets to her feet.

Girl is swaying like MAD.

There are absolutely ANBU (both fake and real) coming after her.

At least one of them gets speared through by an ice spike.

Anna runs up to her, tries to hug her, gets batted away.

Elsa’s staring at her in sheer TERROR and starts muttering something about how Anna died years ago, this isn’t real, etc.

Nobody except Anna understands most of it, but Haku picks up enough to translate when Anna’s freaking out.

Elsa starts doing her Ice Castle thing in the middle of Konoha as a coping mechanism, mostly so she can get Up and Away and Shielded By Ice.

This is not a good look.

Especially because she’s singing, which Zabuza always thinks is a bad omen because it means shit is getting real and one or both of the girls are about to get a powerup or be beaten even harder than otherwise. When they start singing, things get More Dramatic And Extreme).

(Zabuza does not like Disney Musical Rules)

Danzo shows up.

There’s a bunch of arguing.

All the medics insist that nothing she was given at the hospital should have caused amnesia, psychosis, hallucinations, delusions, etc.

It’s. Not hard for Hiruzen to guess what happened.

Namely that Danzo, upon finding out that chakra dampeners didn’t do shit since none of Elsa’s powers come from chakra, decided to keep her drugged up and start using genjutsu to make her more malleable.

Because like. An injured WMD just showed up in your village. What are you supposed to do, not try to kidnap her and turn her to your side? Like, come on. What was he supposed to do?

Not that, Danzo. Literally Not That.

IDK how it gets resolved, probably Anna getting to her with the power of love, because Elsa is ultimately Super Disney.

I also don’t really know where to go from there other than “Maybe Jiraiya can get you home, but also I’m pretty sure Zabuza wants you all to get the hell out of here and take over Kiri” but who knows.

Also

IMAGINE ELSA MEETING GAI.

Imagine Ino getting a puppy crush on Elsa.

IDK that’s it for now.

[felicia-cat-hardy]

20 TV Shows & Movies That Are Almost Too Dirty To Be On Netflix

One of the wonders of Netflix is its expansive content offering. It's a place you can go to relive the joys of your youth, and to find some seriously sexy content (probably not in the same movie or TV show, but you get it). If you’re looking for the latter, sifting through the mass of titles can be a challenge; it’s sometimes easy to get lost in the silly or serious pieces of content without ever discovering the many raunchy movies and shows available — and what a pity that is, because there are plenty of shows and movies that are almost too dirty to be on Netflix out there for you to watch.

The site's dirtier fare ranges from art house foreign films to Netflix-produced shows, and they definitely give a new meaning to "Netflix and chill." Netflix obviously isn't a porn site, but there are a number of movies and shows that will make you wonder how — and why — they passed the site's censors. Actually, on second thought, you probably won't be questioning why so much because, as the old adage goes, it's best to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

Whether you're watching these shows and movies to turn up the heat with your partner, or just to broaden your streaming horizons, these are bound to make you think, "I wonder what this is doing to my algorithm preferences..."

‘Duck Butter’

Two women meet and decide to condense a relationship into 24 hours — by having sex every 60 minutes. The movie creators wanted to show a funny and tender film with “lesbians as far as the eye could see,” and the chemistry between the two women is also on fire.

Watch On Netflix

‘Altered Carbon’

In the future, human consciousness can be transferred to available human bodies, called “sleeves.” And boy do we see a lot of those (very naked) sleeves, as well as a bunch of sex.

Watch On Netflix

'Orange Is The New Black'

The popular Netflix original goes where most network TV's explicitness-parameters cannot. Naturally, if you lock a bunch of people up in an enclosed space with not much to do, naughtiness is gonna ensue.

Watch On Netflix

'Y Tu Mamá También'

This movie has everything. Sex in cars, sex in beds, sex in twos, sex in threes. Everything else in between is pretty great, too. Subtitles optional.

Watch On Netflix

‘Sense8’

The tragically cancelled Sense8 from the Wachowski sisters (The Matrix) introduced a plethora of beautiful, complex LGBTQ characters, and a ton of very sexy sex. Yes, this is the series with that orgy scene you’ve heard so much about.

Watch On Netflix

'Amar'

Amar is a Spanish dramedy all about sex and relationships. Literally everyone is doing it (or talking about it) all the time. And the creators aren’t shy about showing all this sexiness onscreen — a very, very good thing.

Watch On Netflix

‘Ride Or Die’

This edgy Japanese film is about two childhood BFFs: one of them (Rei) is in love with the other (Nanae), who’s stuck in an abusive marriage. Nanae asks Rei to kill her husband — and violence (and sexiness) ensues.

Watch On Netflix

'Newness'

Newness is a serious movie about Tinder and dating apps — which also happens to be quite steamy. Two people meet through a hookup app, and despite the odds, start to fall for one another. But can it last?

Watch On Netflix

‘365 Days’

Caveat: this movie has been widely criticized for depicting what starts out as a non-consensual relationship (a woman is kidnapped and given 365 days to fall in love with her abductor). But it’s still managed to gain notoriety for its sex scenes, which are insanely hot — so if you’re curious about the buzz and haven’t watched yet, consider tuning in for those scenes alone.

Watch On Netflix

‘Outlander’

Before Bridgerton, there was this sex-filled period piece. Still going strong and entering its sixth season, this (sometimes literally) bodice-ripping drama sees a woman on her honeymoon accidentally time travel from 1945 to 1743 — and subsequently meet the love of her life.

Watch On Netflix

‘Bridgerton’

But, while we’re on the subject, why haven’t you watched Bridgerton? Or, if you have, why haven’t you watched it again? This is Jane Austen romance, plus glorious mansions, plus a mountain of sex — and it’s sure to have your television exploding from the hotness.

Watch On Netflix

‘Sex Education’

I mean...the title says it all, doesn’t it? Otis is a shy teenager who just so happens to know a ton about sex (the theory at least, less so the practice), thanks to his sex therapist mom. His crush Maeve uses Otis’ skillset for a brilliant concept: a sex therapy consulting business for high schoolers. Oh, and because they’re all teens, lots of sex is happening.

Watch On Netflix

'Elisa & Marcela'

This drama about forbidden love is set in 1885, making it ideal for those who like corsets with their steamy love scenes. It's about two women who fall in love with each other but have to keep it secret — until one of them poses as a man in order to get married. It's also based on a true story, which makes it educational and hot.

Watch On Netflix

‘MILF’

Again, this one’s pretty self-explanatory: three French women in their 40s are dealing with life and heartbreak. The trio of friends go after — and land — much, much younger guys on vacation. Age-related hilarity (and tons more sex) ensues.

Watch On Netflix

‘Riverdale’

Who knew that a redux of the Archie comic books could be so dark and twisty? Also, so adult: the series is known for its (many) sex scenes involving the characters in a wide variety of couplings. The genius of the show is you’ll end up rooting for certain pairs, but cheering for a lot of the sex.

Watch On Netflix

'Easy'

Easy features a series of vignettes about various people's sex lives. It's voyeurism at its finest — and it also offers honest insights about how people navigate intimacy.

Watch On Netflix

'Shameless'

Shameless is very NSFW. If you're going to watch TV at work (perhaps not advisable in any scenario, but no judgement), you should probably steer away from Shameless in case a co-worker happens to sneak a peek during one of its many sex scenes. It could cost you a trip to HR.

Watch On Netflix

'Blue Is The Warmest Color'

Its sex scenes have been deemed unrealistic by many LGBTQ viewers, but Blue is the Warmest Color is still pretty steamy, and it also features a sweet story of a woman coming out into the world.

Watch On Netflix

'Weeds'

I could rave about Weeds for many reasons — its writing, its acting, and its soundtrack — but we're here to talk dirty, so I'll just say this: Weeds has some of the hottest sex scenes ever to grace Netflix. The fact that so much of its plot revolves around taboos and scandals makes for a great deal of naughtiness.

Watch On Netflix

'Concussion'

This is as hot as it gets. Concussion tells the story of a bored suburban housewife who starts seeing female sex workers for pleasure. Eventually, she decides to become one herself.

Watch On Netflix

Get Relationship Advice Here

[diamondsandlemons]

Just finished my very slow quarantine rewatch of K-On!. Wanted to write down some of my thoughts and feelings. Several paragraphs under the cut!

I’ll get this out of the way first; the recurring “joke” where Sawako tries to get the light music club to wear sexy outfits is uhhhh terrible, borderline sexual harassment. Luckily they mostly cut that out in the 2nd season, (which is great because otherwise her relationship with them is really nice) and other than that the show is perfect in pretty much every way.

Isn’t it weird how the first season takes place across two years, but the second season (which is twice as long) takes place across only one year? No idea how they pulled that off without it feeling strange, but they totally did.

I love this show so much. It’s great as a “cute girls doing cute things” type of anime, but its also substantially different that others of that type (that I’ve seen). It feels much more real. For one thing there obviously aren't any brightly-colored anime protagonist haircuts, so I guess it is more realistic from a character design standpoint.

But also just, everything... I think the school is based on a real school building, which makes it REALLY stand out from the very generic appearance of most anime schools. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole town is based on a real place actually (if so I bet that's great for the people who live there- remembering my experience watching Steven Universe for the first time and seeing a real place I know quite well translated into animation)

But yeah, there’s just so much detail put into all the backgrounds and character animations. It’s incredibly,,, believable, I guess. It’s pretty timeless too, there’s hardly anything anchoring it a specific time period, so it can be relatable for all time (although, it is kinda funny on the rare occasion things do pop up, like when they literally use tapes to record music...)

And I was thinking about this recently, I think the opening and ending themes are somewhat unique as well. How many other animes have OPs and EDs that are rock songs actually performed by the characters? I mean, it’s catchy pop-rock, so I guess that’s probably not so uncommon (also I know nothing about music genres so this might just be entirely wrong). But I can’t think of many other examples of the characters literally performing the music. And the ending themes are like fully produced music videos! its great. Unfortunately its not diegetic; I don't think any of those songs actually exist in the lore. (and I haven't even mentioned the BGM scores... which are all perfect).

The third OP and ED are my favorite of each, btw (at least thats how I feel atm. I admit it could be because I like just finished watching the show so those are the ones I heard most recently). I love how the third opening is upbeat and energetic like the rest, but in the last 15 seconds it shifts into something slightly more melancholy. Reminding you that K-On! is approaching its end, but you should still feel happy and grateful for the time you spent with it. A nostalgic feeling.

I feel like nostalgia is an important part of the whole show’s tone, actually. (Though again I could be biased on this, I may very well just be nostalgic for when I first watched it (which was while I was in high school)). 

So much time is spent in the episodes approaching the ending focused on what’s going to come next for the Light Music Club; both the characters, who have to figure out where to go to college, and what they want to study, and the club itself, which will (hopefully) live on without them. (Azusa and Sawako-sensei will make sure of that). I can’t help but feel like that’s the point. HTT goofing off in the music room after school was never something that could’ve lasted forever, but for the time it did, it was incredibly impactful. Both the big stuff (live on-stage performances, trip abroad to England, etc.) and the little stuff (tea and cake every day, animal costumes for no reason, etc).

What K-On! is most of all is “comfortable.” That’s what lead me to turn it on again at the beginning of the pandemic, I just wanted something light and cute and comfy. It’s definetly “real” but it’s also “nostolgic.” It’s like what you remember good times feeling like. And since it’s immortalized in animation, it’ll always be that good.

Bonus thoughts:

... ... ...Hey, what happens to Ton-chan after the end of the show??? Hm. I think my headcanon is that he stays in the club room for a year, but then Azusa can’t bear to part with him when she graduates, so she takes him home.

Also its sad to think about, but HTT probably wont keep in touch with Sawako in the long run. I mean, I had some very formative teachers who I liked a lot, but I don’t ever talk to them. or event think about them most of the time. She’ll be fine though, she’ll have the future of the club to worry about. New students constantly cycling in and out with the years. Hopefully.

Mugi is definetly a lesbian, and I greatly appreciate that. (the others are less cut and dry but I’m gonna throw out some guesses. Ritsu is bi preferring men. Mio is ace. Azusa’s also a lesbian. Sawako is bi but she needs to keep a lid on it around high schoolers, as I already mentioned. Yui, I have absolutely no fucking clue)

These girls spend a lot of time at McDonalds.

(I haven’t actually rewatched the movie yet. I plan to do that within the next few days, then after that I may or may not come back to this post and add something, if I have anything new to add! edit: seen the movie, it’s great, better than I remembered actually. but other than that I don’t have much to say. Please go watch k-on if you haven’t already!)

[curls-cat]

night by lonesome night

read it on ao3 here!

Sabrina and Red are both chronic insomniacs. It makes sense that they'd fall into step with each other. And from there, fall into feelings.

Conversations between two oft-overlooked girls, late at night. Shared cocoas and shared secrets.

(It’s Sabrina/Red, guys. The audience for this fic is two people. Me and @lesbianedelric That’s literally it.)

//

“I miss color the most,” Red confesses.

It’s after midnight, and she and Sabrina are the only two awake. It happens like this, most of the time. They’re a pair of insomniacs, the two of them. Nightmares. When they can get to sleep, that is. Sometimes they just… can’t.

One or the other of them will go padding down the stairs after either giving up on sleep or after starting awake, sweating and with their hearts pounding. She’ll make her way down the stairs in the dark, put the kettle on, and wait. Before it starts whistling, most nights, the other girl will join.

Some nights they talk. Not every night. Talking can be hard. So can listening. Often, it’s enough to sit in silence, and to know someone else is suffering, too. Tonight, apparently, is not one of those nights.

“You can’t see color anymore?” Sabrina asks.

“Some colors,” Red says. “Everything’s yellows and blues.” She gives a sardonic little laugh. “I can’t even see my own name.”

“Shit,” Sabrina says. She’d like to be more eloquent, but she’s never been particularly good at saying the right thing.

“Yeah,” Red agrees. “And Papa doesn’t— he understands, most of the time, what I’m feeling, but he doesn’t remember colors, not really.”

Sabrina doesn’t have a good answer for that, so she doesn’t say anything, just takes a long drag of her cocoa.

“He still can’t see them,” Red says. “Colors. So even if I got rid of the wolf—”

“Do you want to?” Sabrina asks. “Get rid of it?”

“Sometimes,” Red says.

“I’d’ve thought you’d want it gone all the time,” Sabrina says.

“Why?” Red says. “It can’t be killed. As long as I have it, I can keep it from hurting anyone else.”

Sabrina thinks about her own history of doing the hard thing, of being the monster, so someone else didn’t have to. “Yeah,” she agrees.

Again, they drink their cocoa in silence. It’s heavy, but comfortable.

*

Another night. Today Sabrina is drinking coffee. She won’t be going back to sleep, not after that nightmare. Red hasn’t joined her yet, so Sabrina is alone in the kitchen, no company but the house and its small noises. Wind juddering the windows, rain splatting against the walls and the roof. The creaks of settling floorboards. Her own thoughts, loud and racing.

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Ah, there’s Red. Sabrina looks up from her cup of coffee to give Red a wan smile. “Not really,” she says. “The kettle’s still hot.”

Red goes to pour herself a cup of water, gives a suspicious look at the jar of instant coffee on the counter, and squints at Sabrina. She shuffles back to the table. 

Sabrina tosses her a teabag. “Chamomile,” she says when Red sniffs it. “One of us should get some sleep tonight.”

Red looks at the little mesh lump for a bit, then takes a long glance at the dark circles under Sabrina’s eyes. She gets up again and goes for the instant coffee herself.

“You don’t even like coffee,” Sabrina protests weakly.

“Neither do you,” Red says.

Fair enough.

Sabrina settles a little to the sound of Red’s slippers moving along the kitchen floor. Red puts an ungodly amount of sugar and milk into her coffee, microwaves it for a little while to offset the milk’s temperature, and makes her way back to the table. It’s a familiar sound. Nothing like the ripping flesh sounds that haunted tonight’s dreams.

“We could watch a movie,” Red suggests. “Or play spit.”

Sabrina shakes her head to both.

“Mario Kart?” Red suggests.

Sabrina shakes her head again. “Let’s just sit here, okay?”

“Sure,” Red says. She takes a sip of her coffee and makes a face.

Sabrina chuckles a little, fondly. She feels more settled into her skin now. More like a human, less like a collection of lit nerve endings. “Here,” she says, standing. She reaches a hand out for Red’s mug, holding her own in the other. “I’ll make us some cocoa.”

Red hands over the mug with more relief than she probably meant to let show on her face.

Now it’s Sabrina’s turn to bustle around the kitchen, turning the kettle back on and rinsing mugs and pulling cocoa out of the cabinets and pouring milk into the mugs to offset the wateryness of the brand of cocoa Granny buys and the whole time feeling the floor under her bare feet, a little too cold but textured and firm and steady and grounding.

“Did Puck get hurt again?” Red asks, once Sabrina’s finally settled down again. “You’ve been better about the bad nights, recently.

“You’ll never see the scars,” Sabrina says. “I’m the only one who’s upset.”

“Yeah,” Red says.

“It’d be easier if I heard from him literally any other time,” Sabrina says, because she said she didn’t want to talk about it, but now that she’s started she doesn’t want anything but to vent to someone, because whatever she and Puck had, it seems like she’s the only one who wants it anymore, and even still sometimes she’s not sure if she wants it at all or if she just wants someone. “But no it’s all ‘I’m off to see the world, you’ll wait at home for me, right? You never wanted adventures anyway!’ Of course I didn’t want adventures! I was twelve! I wanted to feel safe, for once in my life!”

“Do you still want that?” Red asks. “Safety?” There’s something heavy in her tone, something Sabrina doesn’t quite understand.

“I dunno,” Sabrina says, thinking about it. “I mean, yes, of course, but maybe not just safety? And I don’t want safety if it means getting left behind while everyone else is in danger. Does that make sense?”

Red nods. She sips her tea.

“I wish I could just get over him,” Sabrina groans, burying her head in her hands, fingers digging into her hair. “We were never even friends. But my stupid heart wants what it wants.”

“Yeah,” Red says, and it’s heavy, again. Sabrina wishes she understood.

*

Red and Daphne have had a fight, so Sabrina doesn’t even bother going to bed. She has no idea what the fight was about. She wasn’t home for it, because she and Puck went off by themselves to have a long-overdue talk about feelings and what they both want out of life. It turns out, at the moment, what they want is Not Each Other. And she’s not as upset about that as she’d thought. They’re going to try being friends. See if that works. And if it doesn’t, well then? You can’t build a relationship with someone you don’t enjoy spending time with. They’ll see.

She’s not really upset. She thought she would be, but she’s already spent years mourning the death of something they never had. It’s nice to know it’s actually gone.

When they came back, it was obvious that the girls had gotten into it. Daphne was being pointedly chatterboxy, talking to everyone but Red, including Pinocchio. Since Daphne and Pinocchio get along about as well as, well, Sabrina and Puck, that’s always a bad sign. And Red’s eyes were blue. She wasn’t being noisy about it, and she actually looked kind of sad, but her eyes were furious, furious blue.

So Sabrina doesn’t go to bed. She settles in the living room with a book and a pitcher of iced tea, lets the box fan in the window lull her into complacency as the room grows dark around her.

Red appears promptly at eleven, which is when you can be sure everyone else is asleep. Sabrina knows from experience, from her own nights waiting for a little space to mope in peace.

“In here,” Sabrina says without looking up from her book. She waggles the second cup she’d brought into the living room.

Bare feet scuff across the wood, then shff through the plush rug. The couch squeals and shakes as Red sits down on the other side, the kind of heavy plonk that someone as slight as Red can only achieve with intent. There’s some sniffling sounds, and Red’s breath is coming out in hiccup-y heaves.

Sabrina finishes her chapter to give Red time to compose herself.

“What are you reading?” Red asks when Sabrina’s almost done.

“Carmilla,” Sabrina says. “Do you think she’s real?”

“I’ve never read it,” Red says. “What’s it about?”

“Lesbian vampires,” Sabrina says. “It got a youtube series that’s like a modernization or something? My English teacher last year was really into ‘translations of classic works for modern audiences.” She makes her voice mocking, even though she’d been interested, too. Obviously. Otherwise she wouldn’t be reading one of the books listed in the packet.

“Cool,” Red says. “I don’t think vampires are real? But I’d have to check.” She sounds apologetic. “I wasn’t really paying attention ‘til a few years ago.”

“Yeah,” Sabrina says easily. “It’s not that important. I think I’m aware enough that if I start dreaming about a lady coming to chew on my boobs I’ll be able to sound the alarm.”

Red lets out a snort of a laugh, and Sabrina grins to herself. Point, Sabrina.

“Can I vent to you about Daphne?” Red asks after a moment. “Or would you rather I didn’t?”

“There is nothing bad about her that you could say that would surprise me,” Sabrina says drily.

“Are you sure?” Red asks, and there’s a darkness in there that Sabrina recognizes, because she’s felt it, too, when she looks at the way Snow treats Charming. Because she loves Snow, she does. Snow’s wonderful. But she’s not wonderful to Charming, and Charming just lets her hurt him, like he thinks he deserves it.

Ah.

Okay, so Sabrina has some self esteem issues, particularly where it comes to her perfect little sister. Daphne who’s good at magic and good at people and not traumatized and is everything Granny ever wanted in a grandchild and Veronica wanted in a daughter and even when she butts heads with Henry she’s still always so certain she’s got the moral high ground, and Sabrina knows, she knows that Daphne isn’t better than she is. She knows that if it hadn’t been for her, Daphne would be just as messed up as Sabrina is. But still.

“Tell me you weren’t fighting about me,” Sabrina says, tired and a little miserable.

“She’s so mean to you,” Red says, sounding twice as miserable as Sabrina feels, wobbly like she’s gonna start crying again.

Sabrina sighs and raises an arm. “C’mere,” she says.

Red burrows against Sabrina’s side like she was waiting for the invitation. Her arms wrap tight around Sabrina’s middle. They feel right, there. Comfortable. Sabrina settles her own arms around Red’s shoulders, and that feels comfortable too.

“Why do you let her get away with it?” Red asks. “I get it with the grown-ups. They’re adults, and they mean well. But Daphne… she’s my best friend, and I love her a lot, but she isn’t trying to—she doesn’t just want you to grow up to be a different shape of person. She just— she’s just mean. And only to you.”

There’s a lot Sabrina could say to try to explain this to Red. A lot about wanting Daphne to be safe, about needing to be loved by someone, even if that love is broken. About the person Sabrina was before her parents disappeared, and how hard it must have been for Daphne to watch that little girl die, and to see someone furious and always scared walking around wearing her face. About how many times Sabrina took the blame for Daphne because someone had to stay happy. Something had to stay good. And it wouldn’t be Sabrina, would never be Sabrina, was too late for that.

What she says, instead, though, is, “It’s easier, I guess. To let her feel her feelings at me without trying to get her to understand that sometimes people think differently to each other.”

“I hate it,” Red says. “I hate that Granny’s harder on you than everyone, and that your dad treats you like you’re fragile, and your mom is always disappointed in you for doing your best, and that Daphne can’t understand that she’s not helping, she’s making it worse!”

And now Sabrina wants to cry. Because, for once, she feels seen. And loved anyway. And that’s way too rare, that people look at her, really look at her, and like what they see. Want to stand up for it.

“You—” Sabrina swallows, clears her throat. “You don’t have to be my champion.”

“Someone should,” Red grumbles.

“Yeah, well,” Sabrina says. She had something else she wanted to say after, but she can’t fit it out around the lump in her throat.

They hold each other for a long time.

*

Daphne and Red don’t talk for over a week. Sabrina watches with interest. She’s never held out this long against the silent treatment, and it’s fascinating to see someone who’s not only as stubborn and Daphne, but as self-righteous about it. Red’s such a strong person, it’s kind of amazing. She isn’t loud about it, but she’s so, so good. Sabrina’s a little in awe.

The two girls might never have spoken again except that Sabrina manages to wake Daphne with one of her nightmares. Daphne’s usually a pretty damn heavy sleeper, so Sabrina isn’t careful about being quiet anymore. So she screams herself awake without much thought to anything but her own racing heartbeat, and makes her shaky way to the kitchen.

Red joins her there a minute later.

“Was I that loud?” Sabrina asks. She tries to make it a joke, but it doesn’t come off with any kind of levity.

“Yeah,” Red says. She starts making tea.

Sabrina is grateful. She feels too shaky to handle mugs or hot water or anything, really. Too scared. Too certain she’s going to drop something, and get locked away again in the dark by herself.

But she won’t, because that was years ago, now. She never has to go back there, never has to be that tiny scared girl again. She’s older. She knows how to protect herself, and she knows people that she can turn to. She is not alone. See? Red’s here right now, handing her a cup of something hot.

“It was about the orphanage,” she tells Red. “I was alone in the dark, and it was just—I haven’t dreamed about that in forever. I don’t know why it’s coming up now.”

“Cindy would say it’s that you feel safe,” Red answers. “Trauma comes back when you’re finally able to deal with it.”

Sabrina snorts. “Tell that to all the nightmares I’ve been having for the past seven years.”

Red shrugs. “I dunno. I’m not the counselor.”

“How’s that going?” Sabrina asks. “Counseling, I mean.”

“Good,” Red says, “You should try it.”

“Someday,” Sabrina says, and means it. “But I have to be able to talk about it first.”

“Yeah,” Red agrees. “I still haven’t talked about the whole ‘feeling like I deserve to be miserable’ thing.”

Sabrina grimaces. She raises her mug towards Red, her hand only a little shaky. “To thinking we deserve everything we’re getting,” she says.

“Hooray,” Red says, voice dry.

They drink in comfortable silence for a while, and Sabrina begins to find her center. Red always helps her find herself.

“You don’t deserve it,” Red says suddenly. Fiercely, too. “You don’t deserve any of this and screw everyone who thinks you do and made you think so, too.”

“Right back at you,” Sabrina says, though she’s going warm and mushy inside.

“Yeah, well, at least mine aren’t still around to make it worse,” Red mutters.

Sabrina laughs a little, bitterly. “Most of mine are out of my life, Red. There are so many people who screwed me up so much worse than my family.”

“So that make it okay?” Red demands. “Just because they’re not locking you in a basement or starving you or hitting you, it’s fine that they’re hurting you?”

Sabrina shrugs. “I mean. It kinda has to be.”

“No it doesn’t.”

Sabrina lets out a blustery sigh. “What do you want me to do, Red? If Daphne won’t listen to you, she won’t listen to anybody. Except Granny, maybe, but I’ve never been good enough for her, either. No matter how hard I try.”

“I don’t know,” Red mutters. “I just—I can’t sit back and watch it anymore. It feels like I’m condoning it or something. You deserve better.”

“Do I?” Sabrina says. “I’m not a great person, Red.”

“Neither am I!” Red says. “I’ve killed people, Sabrina. Actually killed them. Literally caused them to get eaten. And before you say that that was when I was sick—so what? You’ve been trying to be better every single day I’ve known you. And it’s never good enough for them! Someone needs to cut you some slack and understand that you’re trying! And I know Puck got it, sort of—’

Sabrina’s breath catches in her throat.

“But he didn’t cut you any slack, either! He just figured out how to help you be the kind of better you were trying to be! And that’s not what you need! I know it’s not! I’ve been watching!”

“I don’t want you to lose your best friend over me,” Sabrina says. She’s not worth it.

“Tough,” Red mutters.

Neither of them notice Daphne standing in the doorway. Not until she runs away, sobbing.

*

Red and Daphne sort it out. Daphne starts trying to be nicer to Sabrina. It’s slow going, but progress is made. It’s nice, to feel cared about.

Sabrina tries to pay attention to Red back, because she knows Red has always been good at watching people, looking for what they need, finding quiet ways to give it to them. And sure, they’ve got their cocoa nights (iced tea nights coffee nights chamomile nights), but knowing how someone likes their hot chocolate is different from seeing the ways you can meet their needs in the light of day.

Red’s sweet. And kind. And she tries so hard to make up for her past. She’s got a core of iron in her. She’s wise, in a weird way. She makes brilliant art, even in black and white, or when she can’t see the colors right. Sabrina can help with the colors, at least, can label them clearly. But even when Red gets the colors wrong, it looks cool. Like it was done on purpose.

She also gets overwhelmed when there are too many people around, and has to fight to keep a lid on her temper, always fight the wolf that’s living inside her. She looks at Basil like she’s longing for something she knows she can never have, like she has to hold herself back from being his sister. If she sees bone china something inside her freezes and it takes her a few seconds to come back to herself.

Sabrina notices these things, and keeps noticing. It stops becoming something she does on purpose and becomes something she just does. But it isn’t until she has a nightmare about Red, dead and bleeding, that she puts two and two together.

She’s had nightmares about Red before. But they’ve been the wrong kind of about, the kind that leaves her feeling guilty that she can’t shake her terrible first memories of someone she cares about so much. Not the kind where losing Red is what she’s so afraid of.

And today she doesn’t go to the kitchen, because even though she knows it was just a nightmare, knows Red will be fine, she can’t wait for the other girl to come downstairs, she needs proof right now, needs to know that Red is alive and whole, because she—

She loves her.

And not the way she loves Daphne, or Basil, or her parents or Granny or even Puck. This is not familial love. Nor is it the kind of reluctant passion she and Puck shared, once. No, this is a soft love. A creep-up-on-you kind of love. A love that you can overlook for a long, long time.

Red meets her at the door. “Hi,” she says, surprised. And why shouldn’t she be? This is a break from their tradition of meeting each other downstairs.

Sabrina looks at her, whole and healthy and beautiful, and breaks down crying. Right there on the floor outside Red’s room, she collapses to her knees. Red crouches with her, making shh-ing noises and rubbing Sabrina’s back.

“I’ve gotta tell you something,” Sabrina says, once she’s in control of herself again. Why not? She’s already changed things. What’s a little more? A little bravery, just this once? “And if you don’t want—it’s fine. I just—”

“Sabrina,” Red says, and she’s smiling, a little, tentatively. Glad to see she’s all right, or getting there. “What?”

“I just—my nightmare,” Sabrina starts again. “It was—you were—and I just—” She stops, breathes. “Red. I. I need you to be alive. For, like, ever. Because I—”

“Sabrina,” Red says again, and her tone is different, this time. Cautious, hopeful, shocked. “Sabrina. Do you—”

“I think I went and fell in love with you,” Sabrina says with a little unhinged laugh.

“Sabrina,” Red says, and this time her voice is transcendent. 

Red kisses her on the forehead. On the nose. Sabrina meets her lips with her own for the next kiss. And so what if they’re moving fast? Tonight barely feels real anyway. Maybe Sabrina will wake up and this will have been a dream too.

They stop kissing, eventually, because the floor is cold and hard and uncomfortable. And they go downstairs, as they always do, for cocoa.

“I’d have loved you from the sidelines forever,” Red tells her, eventually. “Loved you harder for all the people who don’t love you the way you deserve.”

Sabrina knows. Knows that’s how Red loves. Quietly, without expecting anything in return. 

She reaches out, twines their fingers together. “You don’t have to,” she says. “And now I’ll try to love you as much as you deserve.”

And maybe, someday, they’ll believe they do deserve it. Until then, they can believe for each other. It’s worked so far.

[elliotjgdb427]

Gay And Lesbian Porn Groups And Programs

This really is no longer the situation in the United States, given that such laws and regulations were dominated unconstitutional from the Supreme Courtroom in the year 2003 in Lawrence v. Tx. P. S i9000. Sorry, I am just not spreading my telephone number, even if most likely a sweet boy (18+), hot man or muscled male pornstar trying to get in touch with me; ).

Mislav can be described as woodland otage who has hidden himself a long way away from civilisation. With some moving, Mislav may reveal which he had a romance with the lord's son, Florian. As for the information on their age ranges & Paige's crush- both these styles those things have been supposed to be clean in the game, when they were not, I apologize. Throughout Fable 3, once once more there are a lot more lesbian, homosexual, and andrógino NPC townspeople to courtroom and get married to. Reaver dividends, this time appealing the main character to have a 'private party' in the bedchamber. In the 1980s, personas that can be asserted as discovering as LGBT were seldom shown in the realistic or even non-stereotypical circumstance and had been often the items of poker fun at or humor.

What just about every married couple recognizes is that just what takes over a relationship through the years is certainly companionship. Sex satisfaction is definitely an aspect, yet only a great aspect–not typically the core in the marital relationship. In the Fall forward, Scripture stories the disease involving sin which has set themselves in the design of gentleman. Regarding sins of a love-making nature, there is not any longer an organic sense regarding monogamy. During marriage, a guy is likely to keep soupirant and rest with prostitutes.

Commenters have the event planners and guests "COVIDIOTS!, inches with remarks such as, "So many self-centered people, inches and, "You are the purpose thousands can be dying per day. " Hardly any of them will be worth spreading, as they would certainly add practically nothing new or even interesting towards the alreadyimportant movie. But in this situatio, dancer Nicole Kirkland together with beauty changer Mac Daddyy have joined to bring us all a version belonging to the ‘WAP’ video clip that features mainly queer persons of colorations. He mentioned Wednesday he "started to be able to slowly realize" he's gay and lesbian in 2017, and started to feel "inauthentic and disingenuous" in his video clips. “Captain Marvel” star Briekäse Larson possesses queer Forums in a tizzy today right after she shared a video involving herself addressing personal inquiries to her Youtube . com channel in addition to one response, dropped a touch that this lady could be homosexual.

Yet , they said, typically the wider issue of law enforcement abuse with their arrest power for homosexual, lesbian plus transgendered individuals will carry on unless the particular political kings protesting the previous look into the second item. But as racy as the online video is, supporters are beneath no sham that the a couple of are in typically the throes regarding gay new puppy love. Mister. Robinson in addition to Mr. Finney identify because heterosexual, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/?search=gay but since some TikTok influencers have found, man-on-man motion is a quick way to crank out traffic. Published in Feb ., the video features gotten greater than 2 . two million landscapes and thirty-one, 000 reviews. In the online video, Trump looked after her hubby as a staunch champion regarding lesbians, gays(i think they are sick), bisexuals, transgender and singular Americans, and even rejected typically the claims regarding his "enemies in the personal establishment" which he is anti-gay or towards equality. "I know how a lot my husband adores the Us people and am know the passion is obviously is to find all the individuals of this excellent country flourish and succeed, " the girl said inside the video. LGBT Studies within Videois some sort of cinematic study of the everyday life of saphic girls, gay, androgino, and transgender people in addition to the cultural and even political progress of the LGBT community.

Simply by clicking on the particular "Enter" switch, and by getting into this website a person agree with all of the above and approve under charges of perjury that you are a grownup. If you are underneath the age of eighteen years, or even under the regarding majority within the location through where you are getting at this website there is no need authorization or even permission in order to enter this site or entry any of the materials. In case you are older than 18 several years or over age majority within the location through where you are being able to access this website by simply entering the web site you hereby agree to abide by all the Conditions and terms. You also concur with and consent that you are definitely not offended by simply nudity and even explicit depictions of sexual acts. Michael Lucas' Dangerous Attache Lucas Leisure is the greatest production with this director together with studio. Variously described as a movie adaptation regarding Les lien dangereuses, and also a remake involving Dangerous Attache.

It’s a brazen pro-sex anthem that doesn’t clearly tie getting a pussy or even being major in the bedroom in order to womanhood together with, thus, has the capacity to bring out the lining “freak” that individuals of all sexes and sexualities. It should become said, for many who don’t understand, that Cardi and Megan are 2 women who happen to be attracted to men and women. Footage of this Australian soccer star showing up in a gay and lesbian porn video clip has been going around online current weeks. The particular scene was initially shot nine years ago, plus Capewell, who is in an extensive relationship using a woman, claims he was tricked into engaging. She is relocated to see the wonderful blessings the lady does have got and then is targeted on how she could honor normally the one who perished for her. Meant for, again, which is only point that distinguishes romantic absolutely love and associate love–sexual love.

My personal Masters any movie by the director that has influenced several gay painters. L. Some sort of. Plays By itself is a movie by an important director which is archived with the Museum of recent Art, Nyc. The sixties and 1971s also noticed the grow of gay and lesbian publishing along with After Dark together with Michael's Issue. During this time more magazines have been founded, like In Touch plus Blueboy. Playgirl, ostensibly developed for women, had been purchased and even enjoyed by simply gay as well as feature total frontal nudity.

L'ensemble des Minets Sauvages (Jean-Daniel Cadinot, 1984) is among the biggest movies of colorgaytube the important French pornographic director. Lack of Aspen series, from 1978, is probably the Adult Movie News' top all time gay and lesbian movies. Several scholars believe while "barebacking" and "UAI" technically each mean exactly the same thing, they have various undertones. With all the increased technique term "barebacking", the term continues to be adopted to get marketing reasons.

This is because "Unprotected Anal Intercourse" makes an immediate connection among unprotected intercourse and the danger of getting diseases such as HIV/AIDS. Nevertheless , although "bareback" seems to have end up being the favorable phrase, studies show that will both conditions ultimately have got equally harmful implications. Inside a study exactly where participants had been shown 2 different moments featuring anal sex, the importance of the words and phrases "bareback" plus "UAI" grew to become apparent. Include galleries in order to playlist simply by clicking the icon on your own favourite movies. Gaymaletube. possuindo has a zero-tolerance policy towards illegal porn material. Click here designed for records necessary pursuant to eighteen U. Ersus. C. 2257 Record Maintaining Requirements Conformity Statement. Simply by entering this website you vow that you are associated with legal age group in your area to see adult materials and that you intend to view this kind of material.

[spectraspecs-writes]

@troodon17​ here’s that story bit, under the cut

btw anyone else reading, please let me know of any other trigger warnings I should add, I added all the ones I could think of

I copied this from my notes, so obviously it still has notes to myself. In my document they’re colored blue, but I’m on the desktop so i can’t do that here without a lot of effort, so I just put the strikethrough through it, they are also in brackets. (In case I missed any.)

Note, David’s got a lot of internalized homophobia and it really affects his self esteem, so hence the repeated “queer!” because he gets very upset at himself for thinking gay thoughts. So he’s trying very hard to stay in the closet because he’s convinced people will hate him, and... gah, i love this so much. 

Now, as for the name. They weren’t Blair Wizards at first, but they did like the name Blair and David was the lead guy, so they kept tossing around all these variations with Blair. They’re at a bar - this is great. David is trying to work out “how to be straight”, because besides having absolutely no idea how to imply sex around women, he’s just a polite guy who doesn’t know how to flirt at all.

David started over at the bar, watching a man (who looked a little cute, maybe QUEER okay, maybe not) talking to a woman. He was leaning up against the bar, facing her, and she was sitting sort of daintily on the stool, seemingly listening intently. David could sort of hear him - “Let me buy you a drink.” He couldn’t tell what she said, but the man sat down next to her, with this charming smile and this sort of… was it sexy? look in his eyes. Not sexy like… ooh yeah sexy face I should be in movies, but more like “yes, sex me, lady.” (Yes, David, that was so smooth, exactly what he was trying to say.) [Bruh, you are so sassy even to yourself. I don’t know if I can take this, man. David, your descriptions.] Then it seemed like he was talking about himself for a little while, and then David saw the woman uncross her legs and cross them the other way. She leaned on the bar on her arm. Then the man said, “Hey, you wanna get out of here?” And they both stood up and left. The woman had a sort of sway in her walk. Were they… yeah, probably, you awkward duck. Great, that phrase of your sister’s is now firmly in your vernacular. Wonderful.

“Dave!” Kit clapped her hands in his ear and he turned to look at her. “Are you even here right now?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” David said hastily, “I was…” He made a motion with his hand like his brain had left his head. “Sorry, I just… zoned out.”

Greg chuckled. “Yeah, you were looking at a girl, right?” he said rhetorically.

“Greg, I was…” David started to deny it. But wait! You have to look straight, otherwise they won’t like you anymore, you fucking queer. He smiled a little. “Yeah, you got me.” he said. Then he added awkwardly, “Spying me some ass.” You awkward duck. [Jesus, David, you are an awkward duck. I was shaking my head at that phrase before but there is no better way to describe you. Perfect. Flawless.]

“Yeah, I knew it, you dog!” Greg exclaimed. He wrapped his arm around David’s shoulder and they both looked towards the bar. “Which one was it, the blonde or the red head?”

Fuck I wasn’t actually looking at one. What the shit do I do? Which one would be sexier to a straight guy? Shit, the blonde actually looks like my sister, if I say that is it weird?  Just answer, you fuck, before he gets suspicious. “The red head,” David answered finally. Yeah, and that weird looking mole on her back. Why the hell did she wear a dress without a back? [David, I can’t handle this. This is getting to be too much. You are just… This is all coming from the guy who later uses words like “fabulous” with the accompanying hand gestures and is determined to please Mallory and Aaron, and yet this is all still perfectly in character. You are just so goddamn sassy.]

“Ooh,” Greg said, and he had a pale imitation of the other man’s sexy face on his own. “Go talk to her, man, I think you’ve got a chance!”

“No, Greg, no,” David said, shaking his head and smiling, “No, we’re working here, we’re doing band stuff.”

“Yes, and you were so involved in that a minute ago,” Kit said sarcastically.

“Yeah, man, go talk to her,” Montrell chimed in supportively.

“Go!” Greg said.

So, slightly nervously, David stood up and went over to the bar. Great, they can’t hear me here. Maybe I can just act like I’m talking to her and then later go tell them she turned me down. Yeah, great idea. He went up to the bar and ordered another of his drink. Then he thought, Wait a minute. Are you ever going to have this sort of opportunity again to practice being straight? Maybe she does turn you down - fine, you don’t want to fuck her anyway. What are you going to do, though, if she wants to “get out of here”? Like the guy earlier. Well, what’s the chance of that? I mean, she probably says no anyway, right? “And another one for her,” he said confidently, “On me.”

The red head looked him over with a small smile. Not a polite one like he usually got, but more… interested? “Thanks,” she said. Her voice was sort of deep. Still feminine, but not squeaky or really high up like any of the girls he’d heard before, or even like Kit’s. Just kind of low. (Mr. Rhodes had called that an alto, hadn’t he? Jesus, David, you awkward duck, why the hell are you thinking about vocal ranges right now? Who’s even to say she sings any?) “Aren’t you gonna sit down?” she asked.

Fuck fuck play it off play it cool. “Just waiting to be invited,” David said smoothly, and he sat on the stool.

“Oh, a gentleman,” she said, sort of raising her eyebrow a little, “Haven’t met one of them in a while. Quite a rare breed.”

Do I even say anything to that? [My lack of experience is such an ally here. I honestly don’t know how David gets this off the ground. Talk about a wizard.] “Hi,” he said as the bartender set his drink down, “I’m David. David Blair.” He put out his hand for her to shake.

“Cassandra.” She shook it. “Ooh, that’s quite a lot of callouses there,” she commented, “What do you do with these hands?”

“I play guitar. That’s what I do, I’m a guitar player.”

“Oh, a musician,” she said, with a hint more intrigue sneaking its it way into her string-like voice, “How fast can you go?”

How fast can I go? That’s a weird question - what is she even looking for from me? But shit, don’t act confused. He raised his eyebrow sort of flexing it. “Pretty fast. Bit like van Halen.” There aren’t even that many callouses on my right hand - is she looking at my left, because that’s weird. Maybe from all that time I spent finger picking, I guess. Damn, this is weird.

“Mm,” she hummed softly, “I’d love to see what you could do for a woman.”

Shit, is she about to ask me if I want to get out of here? Shit fuck shit shit what the fuck do I do? Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kit leave. Greg, get up and follow her, just go. You too, Montrell, just get the fuck out of here because I am not going to fuck this girl. I can’t get it up for a girl QUEER! Shit, how long have I been quiet? And fuck, what do I say? “Yeah?” he said smoothly, not reflecting one ounce of the panic within, “What do you need to have done?”

She put her hand on his leg and leaned in sort of close. “Me…” she whispered. Fuck are they supposed to be this horny? Is this how it is for straight people? Is that why there are so many of them - girls are just so… eager? [yeah, this is a kind of easy transition and that’s why I’m going with it, but head cannon time, maybe she’s a lesbian trying to play straight, like David is but backwards. So she doesn’t know how this is supposed to go, either. But what about a less pleasant head cannon? She is a serial killer who kills men at climax. David’s gayness may have saved his life. What the shit, Brain? What is wrong with you? She dyes her hair red with the blood of her victims. No, God, shut up. That is just insane. yes, yes very insane. Go away…]

Okay, now, what do I do? Is this the right moment to…? “So,” he started, trying to mimic the other man’s sexy face, “you wanna get out of here?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” she said in a sort of sultry? voice, “Walk me home?”

“Glad to,” he said. Okay, maybe this is just going sort of gentlemanly what the fuck are you thinking you awkward fucking duck she’s going to want to sex you! Yes, David, that is the term for it. She got up from the stool and David followed her. He saw Greg make several weird… victory gestures, sort of. Yeah, okay, dude, just be careful I don’t steal all your weed or fuck with your guitar. I will get you back for this you fuck. She led David to her apartment, which wasn’t all that far, maybe a couple buildings down. “Well, she said, “this is me.” David sort of smiled and hoped to God this was the end of this. “You wanna come up?” she said. Fuck fuck you have to say yes.

“Sure,” he said, trying to keep up his straight facade. He walked up the steps and joined her. Her apartment was on the second floor. She unlocked the door and went in, then David went it.

She slammed the door closed behind him and pounded him against it, kissing him. Fuck how do they do it in the movies? What the fuck I don’t want to fuck her what the fuck do I do? He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her back, because what the fuck else am I supposed to do? He sort of massaged her head a little. Then she stopped for a brief moment, breathing heavily. “You got protection?” she asked.

“No…” Fuck what the fuck fuck fuck…

“Oh, fuck it, I’ve got some…” she said, and she resumed kissing him, “… in the bedroom.” Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck and am I supposed to be breathing like that too? Well, I’m already panicking, so that’s just a different kind of adrenaline. Fuck fuck fuck…

She sort of pulled him further in and pulled his shirt off over his head. She turned him around and shoved him and suddenly he was on her bed. Fuck this is going to be just like that girl Dad told me to fuck isn’t it I’m going to be throwing up all night. Greg I’m going to fucking kill you! David felt sort of paralyzed, watching her as she wriggled out of her dress. It fell around her legs - fuck why is this woman not wearing a bra did she leave expecting this fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck… She climbed on top of David and unbuttoned his pants, kissing him. David could feel her breasts on his chest fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. “Come on, you sexy fuck, show me what those fingers can do!” she exclaimed. Woman you are NOT a guitar! She sort of took his hands and placed them on her hips. Oh fuck she wants me to undress her oh fuck fuck fuck. David wasn’t even sure how - he was trying to detach himself and not pay attention - but he ended up above her and her underwear was off. Maybe I can just try to appreciate her as a really well built guitar even though I don’t want to fuck a guitar that would actually hurt I mean, where would I put it? Between the strings? That’s… ouch. So he ran his hands up and down her curves yes, there’s the cutaway so I can play up on the 20th fret oh wait that’s not a fret fuck fuck that’s gross how is any man straight because this is just so fucking disgusting oh and fuck it’s wet is it supposed to do that fuck that’s gross! But she seemed to like it. “Oh, baby, yes, that’s magic!” she exclaimed loudly. [I’m imagining the neighbors - “Oh, look, Harold, Cassandra’s having sex again.” “The shameless hussy.” And then back to the evening news. And now I’m laughing even more.] [Furthermore, I want her to specifically say the word “wizard” but I think this is the only way I can do this.]

David stopped. Like he was frozen. He looked up at nothing. “Magic…” he said, like it were the most brilliant thing he’d ever heard. “That’s it. Magic.” Hastily he stood up and zipped his pants. “Thank you,” he said to her, “You’ve been a big help. This was great.”

“But…” she said, confused.

“Thank you so much.” With his clean hand, he grabbed his shirt from the floor, pulled it on over his head, and left her apartment.

No wait, fuck was there a bathroom on the first floor because I am not going anywhere near my car with this… gross liquid… on my fingers, and I think I’m feeling nauseous so… There was! There was a bathroom on the first floor. Wash my hands, cough up this filth, and get on with my life. But then it was quick back down the street to his car. Good, Greg and Montrell are gone, good they won’t see me fuck I am not doing this again. Tell them you prefer to fly solo, peer pressure, you can’t flirt when they’re around, whatever shit they believe. He had to go talk to Kit. He had to tell her he finally had a name. Blair Witch! No, wait that was that weird horror movie in the 90s, wasn’t it? God, that movie was awful. Okay, what about Blair Wizard! But it’s not just me though, it’s more than one, what about Blair Wizards, with an “s”! Ha, the perfect name!

He dashed up the stairs to Kit’s apartment and hastily knocked on the door. “Kit?” he said loudly, “Kit?”

Kit opened the door and looked at David with tired eyes, her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. “I finally figured out the perfect name for the band. It’s perfect. I can’t believe we didn’t think of it right away.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked, and it was sort of muffled because the toothbrush was still in her mouth.

“it’s the best name ever. What do you think of ‘Blair Wizards’?” he said, breathing heavily from running up the stairs.

“You walked out on sex just to tell me this?” she asked in disbelief.

David breathed in, thinking for a moment. Fuck does she think I’m gay now? Fuck. “Yes,” he said. “Can I come in? I think I need some water.”

“What?” she said, “Yeah, yeah, come on.” She went back into her bathroom and spat out her toothpaste. “How’d you come up with that name?”

Do I tell her do I not tell her that feels out of weird, either way. “Just… came to me,” David said with a shrug as he got himself a glass of water from her sink.

“‘Cause if you got it from anyone we might have some copyright issues or something like that. Russ will be all over that.”

Well, she won’t be anything to worry about. She has no idea about this or how I’m using it. And she didn’t mean to give me the idea, so… “Nothing to worry about.”

“Well, it’s a good name. I like it,” she said, “So we’re all wizards. Neat. But since you’re the lead guy, I think you’ve got to really run with it.”

“Come on, Kit, Brendon Urie doesn’t make panicking or discos his bit. MCR doesn’t bring hazardous chemicals or lab coats on stage.

“You’re not Brendon Urie or MCR.” Kit came out into the main room and sat criss-cross on her couch. “Hate to break it to ya, Dave, but…”

David chuckled a little. He leaned on the wall and looked at her. “What are you thinking, though? I come out on stage looking like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice?”

“Not so much,” she yawned, “But maybe like a stage character or something. You know, like… oh, what was that band that killed Santa in concert?”

“No, yeah, I know what you mean,” David said, “So you’re thinking like a spectacle, make it a real show.” He bit his lip and looked down at his shoes, thinking. “I guess I could learn some quick magic tricks or something. Or maybe… What if I have a sort of costume on stage, and my guitar sort of mimics that? I could call myself the Wizard, have a bunch of magic references in the set and any songs I write.”

“Dave, that’s up to you. I on the other hand would like to go to sleep, please.” Kit said, “And you need to head out before Greg sees you here.”

“Right, yeah. See you tomorrow.” David started to leave, then he turned back. “Hang on, how did you know about Greg?”

“I’m smarter than you guys think.” She shook her head. “Good night.” She ushered him out the door and locked her door behind him. David went to the stairs and left.

[defenestrata]

Jiwon (the only enfp I will stan 👀) + all

you just want me dead. also if anyone is interested first thank u sm i love u ur my new best friend. and secondly here’s the pinterest with all my babes discussed so far on it !! brunner is erich, kim is hyeonjin and choi is jiwon. 

QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OCs

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

like three seconds ? jiwon has the attention span of a goldfish and must be constantly entertained otherwise he’ll die

How easy is it for your character to laugh?

so, so, so easy ! my boy is a ray of sunshine. he’s laughing at his own goddamn joke before he even tells it.

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

listen ? whale songs and all that cutesy stuff ? for losers. if you’re a real alpha you surf youtube for eight hours till your eyes straight up don’t work anymore.

How easy is it to earn their trust?

surprisingly difficult. jiwon has a big circle of acquaintances that he’ll do a lot of things for but if you want to know the man’s deepest darkest insecurities you won’t get them very easily. he has only four or so friends that he would trust that shit to.

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

again, not very easy. jiwon is not very good at cutting people out, and he tends to keep giving people second chances to sully his trust again and again. save this fool.

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

laws are generally there for a reason, and jiwon respects most of them. and the fact that they exist makes it all the more fun for him to try and break some of the lesser ones like speeding laws. on a scale of 0 meaning inflexible to 10 meaning ‘a light suggestion’, jiwon considers laws to be a 6. 

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

meeting younger people and generally being in environments previously visited may sometimes trigger a feeling of nostalgia in him. but this isn’t very frequent. he’s always thinking about the new, not the old. the rare times he does experience nostalgia, he can get kind of mournful about it — where did the good old days go.

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

child jiwon was louder and more confrontational than adult jiwon. one story i am absolutely convinced happened was that he was painting in the first grade when the teacher came up to him, looked at his work and said ‘it’s wonderful but don’t you think it needs more colour?’ so my man jc dipped his fingers in paint and held her cheeks saying ‘you need more colour!’ so, yeah, he definitely was told to be nicer and more respectful.

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

jiwon swears without abandon, but doesn’t have a natural inclination towards especially vulgar words. his first swear word was probably 년 ( equivalent of bitch ). likely directed at his sister.

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

jiwon’s parents and sister are pretty liberal, and he’s managed to get his way without offending them too much. he’s only ever frequently lied to teachers about work and skipping classes, and occasionally to the house warden about why his window was open, and why so many stones were thrown at the finley hall down the street. no, it absolutely doesn’t haunt him; it’s too insignificant.

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

ask. ask like sixty questions. sometimes he’ll play devil’s advocate and poke holes in people’s knowledge. just as a test, you know.

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

you know how baloo in the jungle book rubs against a tree when his back itches. yeah. he tries to make it look natural. 

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

i mean, jiwon’s face and body ensures that he looks good in any colour. and he also believes he looks good in any colour. 

What animal do they fear most?

listen. jiwon doesn’t trust horses. back when he was 14 or so, he wanted to learn to ride and for some reason the horses didn’t take to his absolutely irresistible charm. the one called johnny knocked him off after less than ten seconds. other than that he’s also not a fan of rats and crows.

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

jiwon speaks with ease, he’s fluent in the language of flattery and charm. he hates to put too much thought it what he says, and can end up mumbling a lot if he’s distracted. 

What makes their stomach turn?

the idea that one day he’ll have to start wearing suits and talking to shareholders and live a normal, boring working life. oh, and rollercoasters and oysters. 

Are they easily embarrassed?

jiwon is near impossible to embarass. his confidence in himself mixed with a natural talent at shrugging what may even be serious things off as jokes enables him to take everything in his stride. compliment him ? he’s flattered. insult him ? he’s unbothered. upload a picture of him spongebob underpants on twitter ? he’ll retweet with 😍.

What embarrasses them?

the only thing that might embarass him to any degree is being reprimanded in public. he has an image as a good boy gone bad with a heart of gold that’s he’s cultivated in the years he’s been on social media. so interrupting that with a lecture about responsibility in public ? no thanks. 

What is their favorite number?

10. a perfect score, his birthday, just a nice number. 

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

jiwon doesn’t think about this much, but he doesn’t make a big difference between platonic and familial love. his best friends are family, and his sister is his best, best friend. he figures that romantic love and sexual attraction are correlated (which of course isn’t really true but). aka, if you wouldn’t mind banging them, you’re probably in romantic love.  

Why do they get up in the morning?

to upload a good morning ‘woke up like this’ selfie, duh. nah but on a more serious note — because each day is a day that he’s gonna have fun, right ? wrong.

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

jealous jiwon is … messy. the last time jiwon got jealous was about his girlfriend in high school, and he made it a point to act extremely romantic and charming whenever rivals for her affection were around. that, and he was remarkably cruel with anyone he considered so. if he was ignored, he’d get mopey. 

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

jiwon doesn’t feel envy one goddamn bit. life is so good, other people envy him. be a better bitch not a bitter bitch, is his motto. of course, it’s easier to be better when you’re the one with a hundred million wons to your name. 

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

again, liberal family. jiwon has no trouble talking about sex. with his friend vicki from school, with hyeonjin (although he’d rather not hear), with anyone but family (for obvious reasons). he gets annoyed about the conservatism of society on the topic, especially among the elder generation. 

What are their thoughts on marriage?

marriage is — okay. he still feels way too young to be even thinking about marrying, but he’s not averse to the idea. 

What is their preferred mode of transportation?

jiwon’s very glad you asked. in the spring of his 19th year, god aka his father got him a ducati panigale bike to celebrate his graduation. that baby is his goddamn pride and joy, and he zooms everywhere he can on it. the only problem is that it’s constantly on and off — every time his mother hears of a new motorcycle accident she forbids its use. 

What causes them to feel dread?

the future in general. realising that he’s going to have to buckle down after college. also, i don’t know about you, but have you noticed that hyeonjin’s acting really weird lately ? like, he barely talks on the phone anymore, looks exhausted, goes out to strange places at night. weird. hope he’s okay. 

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

jiwon doesn’t like being lied to, period. hypocrite that he is, he has no trouble telling white lies to cover his ass. but, telling a lie to cover something unpleasant — he’d rather not. it’s him who’s going to deal with consequences if the truth comes out.  

Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

well, his ideal, so to speak, would be a legendary actor/musician with millions of adoring fans around the world. so no, he hasn’t really gotten to that point yet but he’s getting there, chill. 

Who do they most regret meeting? 

well, nobody. #noregrets. actually no there was this one bitch in 9th grade who used to keep calling him oppa even when he told her to quit —

Who are they the most glad to have met?

hyeonjin. best friends since they were like seven. haven’t ever had a major argument. plenty of minor ones, but what do you do. vicki, a closeted lesbian pal for whom jiwon was a beard for a couple of months. she’s amazing. 

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? 

at least six hundred. there was the time that he crashed his bike at his country club. another time that he almost died while on a glass bridge in the mountains in china. oh, how about that time that he was almost scouted for uh…. adult movies ? not exactly the talent range he was intending to go for.  

Could they be considered lazy?

if jiwon doesn’t want to do something, he won’t. and that’s the tea. he’ll get it done through a third party, or just let it die until he finishes it in a 2 am red bull panic. 

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

obviously depends on the severity of the event, but in general — jiwon’s pretty good at moving on from things. he’s especially good at changing subject and throwing himself into something new, forgetting the past entirely. 

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

ehhhhh a catch here. if you’re close to him, yes, he will try to be excited for you. but you can’t really force him to be excited about anything. if you start talking about how absolutely mindblowing axolotls are, he’ll nod and zone out. 

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

seek out. life’s too short for anything else. 

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

my man makes little jingles about everything. it’s honestly pretty annoying at this point. his magnum opus would have to be the english conjugation table rap. it was popular at his old school for months.

What memory do they revisit the most often?

memories are kind of fuzzy with him, he doesn’t remember the details of places as much as he does the feeling of them. some select memories are of dance nights at ketterbridge ( his english boarding school ) and holidays in jeju, kyoto, bangkok and hawaii. what can i say, he’s a big fan of beaches. 

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

fairly easy. unless he’s being especially catty, which he certainly can be, people’s flaws don’t matter to him. he’ll make up for them. and if they share flaws ? too bad. the world will have to deal. 

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

not much, no. i’d say his biggest flaw is detachment from reality and his sheltered lifestyle. he doesn’t know how to do anything on his own. if he was abandoned somewhere (not even like a deserted island, i’m talking apartment in seoul) he’d die. but because it’s unlikely he’ll ever have to be alone ( devil emoji at least that’s what he thinks ) he doesn’t really care about his own flaws.

How do they feel about children?

on surface level, jiwon looks amazing with kids. they’re funny, he’s funny, they’re reckless and silly, he’s reckless and silly. but jiwon would be an awful, awful father, and he knows it. handling a kid is too much work, he doesn’t like hanging with them, because it’s like hanging with slightly less capable clones. 

How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

here’s the thing. his end goal is to become a legendary actor/musician. the path he chooses to follow to get there is still really unclear in his head — he has an impression that it’ll just happen. 

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

jiwon would just say he likes cute girls, and because all girls are cute, he likes all girls. i envision him as bisexual with a ginormous preference for women. he definitely express attraction to men, but brushes it off as bro stuff. basically, when hyeonjin confesses to him later in the plot, he’s going to be pretty confused emoji. like … he’s straight … but he would maybe date hyeonjin ? he doesn’t mind the idea ? what

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?

he’s a dumbass !!! also his attitude makes him so much fun to write. constant quips and jokes and not taking anything seriously. also, karma is gonna get him very soon for that sheltered, pampered life he’s been living :) 

B) What inspired you to create them?

uhhh nothing tbh ? i needed a lighthearted foil in hyeonjin’s story, that’s really it, and he evolved over time to be this monstrosity. 

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

not for the first little arc. but after that, absolutely idk what’s gonna happen to my son.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

actually, jiwon was supposed to be relegated to the position of minor character in hyeonjin’s story, and was never part of the eight mcs of this particular idea. later, after i dropped one of the characters because she was getting a bit controversial, i plopped him in. so his physical appearance was only properly defined once he became an mc. and it hasn’t changed since. 

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

i’d be filled with immense intrigue and admiration and also deep hatred. like he’s a goddamn idiot but i know i’d love his silly sense of humour and his attitude. 

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

just — happiness tbh ? i lov him. he’s my son. 

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

that he doesn’t NOTICE ANYTHING. ffs jiwon TAKE INTEREST in your surroundings and maybe then you’d realise that your friend is STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION AND BEING INVOLVED IN ORGANISED CRIME. 

H) What trait do you admire most?

he’s just. impossible to insult. that kind of self esteem. where can i buy it. how much is it. is there a warranty

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

yes. although he’d fit in awfully well anywhere tbh. 

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

yes, sort of. again, it was mostly related to fleshing out his history, getting a better idea of his family dynamics and so forth. 

[hoynovoy]

20 TV Shows & Movies That Are Almost Too Dirty To Be On Netflix

One of the wonders of Netflix is its expansive content offering. It's a place you can go to relive the joys of your youth, and to find some seriously sexy content (probably not in the same movie or TV show, but you get it). If you’re looking for the latter, sifting through the mass of titles can be a challenge; it’s sometimes easy to get lost in the silly or serious pieces of content without ever discovering the many raunchy movies and shows available — and what a pity that is, because there are plenty of shows and movies that are almost too dirty to be on Netflix out there for you to watch.

The site's dirtier fare ranges from art house foreign films to Netflix-produced shows, and they definitely give a new meaning to "Netflix and chill." Netflix obviously isn't a porn site, but there are a number of movies and shows that will make you wonder how — and why — they passed the site's censors. Actually, on second thought, you probably won't be questioning why so much because, as the old adage goes, it's best to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

Whether you're watching these shows and movies to turn up the heat with your partner, or just to broaden your streaming horizons, these are bound to make you think, "I wonder what this is doing to my algorithm preferences..."

‘Duck Butter’

Two women meet and decide to condense a relationship into 24 hours — by having sex every 60 minutes. The movie creators wanted to show a funny and tender film with “lesbians as far as the eye could see,” and the chemistry between the two women is also on fire.

Watch On Netflix

‘Altered Carbon’

In the future, human consciousness can be transferred to available human bodies, called “sleeves.” And boy do we see a lot of those (very naked) sleeves, as well as a bunch of sex.

Watch On Netflix

'Orange Is The New Black'

The popular Netflix original goes where most network TV's explicitness-parameters cannot. Naturally, if you lock a bunch of people up in an enclosed space with not much to do, naughtiness is gonna ensue.

Watch On Netflix

'Y Tu Mamá También'

This movie has everything. Sex in cars, sex in beds, sex in twos, sex in threes. Everything else in between is pretty great, too. Subtitles optional.

Watch On Netflix

‘Sense8’

The tragically cancelled Sense8 from the Wachowski sisters (The Matrix) introduced a plethora of beautiful, complex LGBTQ characters, and a ton of very sexy sex. Yes, this is the series with that orgy scene you’ve heard so much about.

Watch On Netflix

'Amar'

Amar is a Spanish dramedy all about sex and relationships. Literally everyone is doing it (or talking about it) all the time. And the creators aren’t shy about showing all this sexiness onscreen — a very, very good thing.

Watch On Netflix

‘Ride Or Die’

This edgy Japanese film is about two childhood BFFs: one of them (Rei) is in love with the other (Nanae), who’s stuck in an abusive marriage. Nanae asks Rei to kill her husband — and violence (and sexiness) ensues.

Watch On Netflix

'Newness'

Newness is a serious movie about Tinder and dating apps — which also happens to be quite steamy. Two people meet through a hookup app, and despite the odds, start to fall for one another. But can it last?

Watch On Netflix

‘365 Days’

Caveat: this movie has been widely criticized for depicting what starts out as a non-consensual relationship (a woman is kidnapped and given 365 days to fall in love with her abductor). But it’s still managed to gain notoriety for its sex scenes, which are insanely hot — so if you’re curious about the buzz and haven’t watched yet, consider tuning in for those scenes alone.

Watch On Netflix

‘Outlander’

Before Bridgerton, there was this sex-filled period piece. Still going strong and entering its sixth season, this (sometimes literally) bodice-ripping drama sees a woman on her honeymoon accidentally time travel from 1945 to 1743 — and subsequently meet the love of her life.

Watch On Netflix

‘Bridgerton’

But, while we’re on the subject, why haven’t you watched Bridgerton? Or, if you have, why haven’t you watched it again? This is Jane Austen romance, plus glorious mansions, plus a mountain of sex — and it’s sure to have your television exploding from the hotness.

Watch On Netflix

‘Sex Education’

I mean...the title says it all, doesn’t it? Otis is a shy teenager who just so happens to know a ton about sex (the theory at least, less so the practice), thanks to his sex therapist mom. His crush Maeve uses Otis’ skillset for a brilliant concept: a sex therapy consulting business for high schoolers. Oh, and because they’re all teens, lots of sex is happening.

Watch On Netflix

'Elisa & Marcela'

This drama about forbidden love is set in 1885, making it ideal for those who like corsets with their steamy love scenes. It's about two women who fall in love with each other but have to keep it secret — until one of them poses as a man in order to get married. It's also based on a true story, which makes it educational and hot.

Watch On Netflix

‘MILF’

Again, this one’s pretty self-explanatory: three French women in their 40s are dealing with life and heartbreak. The trio of friends go after — and land — much, much younger guys on vacation. Age-related hilarity (and tons more sex) ensues.

Watch On Netflix

‘Riverdale’

Who knew that a redux of the Archie comic books could be so dark and twisty? Also, so adult: the series is known for its (many) sex scenes involving the characters in a wide variety of couplings. The genius of the show is you’ll end up rooting for certain pairs, but cheering for a lot of the sex.

Watch On Netflix

'Easy'

Easy features a series of vignettes about various people's sex lives. It's voyeurism at its finest — and it also offers honest insights about how people navigate intimacy.

Watch On Netflix

'Shameless'

Shameless is very NSFW. If you're going to watch TV at work (perhaps not advisable in any scenario, but no judgement), you should probably steer away from Shameless in case a co-worker happens to sneak a peek during one of its many sex scenes. It could cost you a trip to HR.

Watch On Netflix

'Blue Is The Warmest Color'

Its sex scenes have been deemed unrealistic by many LGBTQ viewers, but Blue is the Warmest Color is still pretty steamy, and it also features a sweet story of a woman coming out into the world.

Watch On Netflix

'Weeds'

I could rave about Weeds for many reasons — its writing, its acting, and its soundtrack — but we're here to talk dirty, so I'll just say this: Weeds has some of the hottest sex scenes ever to grace Netflix. The fact that so much of its plot revolves around taboos and scandals makes for a great deal of naughtiness.

Watch On Netflix

'Concussion'

This is as hot as it gets. Concussion tells the story of a bored suburban housewife who starts seeing female sex workers for pleasure. Eventually, she decides to become one herself.

Watch On Netflix

Get More Dating Advice Here

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Ding Dong

Amy Dunne is one of my all-time favorite characters in cinema. She is effortlessly terrifying in a tragically beautiful sense. An overwhelming force of nature, focused on a singular purpose; The Utter destruction of the man who betrayed her. Until she changes her mind. Gone Girl was an amazing, amazing, film and the backbone of it’s Amazing Amy is the absolutely villain performance by Rosamund Pike. This chick is incredible at her job but this role really made me pay attention to her craft and, to this day, i believe she was robbed of her Oscar for that role. Look, i love Julianne Moore but f*ck all of that. Pike was robbed. Now, lately, there’s been buzz of another, Amy Dunne, level performance from Rose in this Netflix flick, I Care A Lot. Obviously, i had to see for my self if this sh*t stand’s up to the hype.

The Great

This film feels a lot like Promising Young Woman. I love that kind of energy. Everything is so kinetic, so organic. It’s weird to describe but there is an undercurrent of raw, near-visceral, force about this flick. It’s that flirty intensity that grips you and keeps you invested from scene to scene.

This film is beautifully. The way it’s shot is so pleasing to the eye. It’s borderline Wes Anderson-esuqe with all of the color and symmetry but still it’s own thing. Like, the shot composition is all very meticulous and i kind of love it. Absolutely outstanding scene composition. Brilliantly complimentary music. impeccable shot choice. Jonathan Blakeson directed his ass off. He put together one hell of a technical masterpiece.

Dude also wrote one hell of a film. That’s right, Blakeson pulls double duty on this thing by being both director and writer. No way to f*ck up the vision if you have complete control over it like that. Cats sh*t on the auteur director but, it’s like, why? How? Films are art and the director, the creator, is the artist. Of course they should be able to bring their vision to life. It’s dope seeing Blakeson finally getting the shine he deserves. Dude is the writer/director of The Disappearance of Alice Creed, another excellent film that went under the radar. That was the flick which turned me on to Gemma Arterton and I’ll thank him for that fr the rest of my life

Seriously, this f*cking music kills. It’s kind of an aggressive, New Wave, Eighties Synthfunk, tenor to it and i f*cking love all of it. I’m a sucker for that sound, always have been, and can’t get enough of it’s current revival. Bless the kids and their Retrowave movement and bless Marc Canham for adding it to this film. Like, this is some Tangerine Dream/The Keep levels of dope.

This cast is very small, very tight, so there’s no room for your performance to hide. Everyone is excellent in their respective roles, even the smaller parts. Dianne Wiest as  Jennifer Peterson, the catalyst for this film’s conflict. Nicholas Logan as Alexi Ignatyev, a cowardly good and taxi driver for the film’s antagonist who I'll get to in a second. Damian Young as a crooked doc and silent accomplice to ALL of Marla’s shenanigans. Chris Messina, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Macon Blair, and Alicia Witt; All in smaller roles but still powerful and relevant to this plot. There is no dead-weight in these performances at all. That said, the three principals are absolutely amazing.

Of tops, this is a f*cking clinic put on by Rosamund Pike. Her Marla Grayson is every bit the straight up, stone cold killer, that her Amy Dunne was. I cannot stress that enough. Pike has a way of exuding this quiet malice in these types of roles and it rings through in this particular performance something fierce. Marla is the WORST kind of person and Rosamund just f*cking effortlessly, nonchalantly, b ring that cold, cruel, energy to life. Marla isn’t Amy but she’s kind of a saccharine sweet, pastel pastiche, version of her and if Pike doesn’t get a proper Oscar for this performance, this go around, there is absolutely no justice in the world.

Eiza Gonzalez is getting dumb work lately and I'm here for all of that. She’s been gaining momentum in Hollywoodland since her scene stealing turn as Darling in Baby Driver. She’s found her way into Alita: Battle Angel, Hobbs and Shaw, and just recently, Godzilla vs. Kong. Her role as Fran in this film, is definitely a departure from those other roles, and it allows Eiza to really show her skills. This is the best i have ever seen Gonzalez and it makes me yearn for more of her, in tighter roles, like this one. 

Peter Dinklage is always excellent in anything he decides to attempt, outside of Destiny, so, obviously, his Roman Lunyov was spot on. I bought into his weirdly uber-gangster persona without pause. No need to suspend my disbelief, it just felt real. Dude sells this character without even trying. That level of ability is rare, especially taking into account his versatility overall. It’s been a while since I've seen Peter in something as good as this and I'm glad he as able to shake that disgusting Thrones finale aftertaste. It’s great to see him back in his fine form.

The level of diversity in this is very interesting. Female lead, in a lesbian relationship with a Latina women, whose principal antagonist is a dwarf? Black Judge, Female doctor, and an elderly plot catalyst. That’s all the identity boxes checked. Knowing what i know about Hollywood, you have to check those boxes in order for studios to even look at your script nowadays. OscarsSoWhite really f*cked up those egocentric, performative liberals, in the movies. The thing is, though, while this movie definitely exudes “GHURRRL POWER”, a lot like the previously referenced Promising Young Woman, it doesn’t thump you over the head with it. This sh*t is nuanced, organic, and never intrusive. This is how yow represent. This is how you instill identity politics into your films without being so goddamn hostile about it.

The Verdict

This movie is f*cking amazing, man. It’s so well written, it needs to be, because these performances are the best I've seen all year. So far. Seriously, these characters are all the worst but, at the same time, so goddamn real. They feel legitimate, so much so, i forgot i was watching a film. I was that deep into this narrative, it’s really that immersive. Rosamund Pike comes through and just destroys this screenplay, embodying Marla, while Eiza Gonzales and Peter Dinklage deliver just a strong supporting duties. Jonathan Blakeson really put together one hell of a film and considering he wrote the damn thing, too, a lot of the credit has to go to him for that. I mean, aside from the laughably strong performances, this flick is gorgeous, has brilliant dialogue, an organic score, and some of the best cinematography I've seen all year. I Care A Lot definitely lives up to all this hype and then some. If you have Netlfix, this thing is worth the watch. If you don’t definitely fly that Jolly Roger for this one. I can’t sing it’s praises enough.

[4kadhd]

Ki’s Thoughts on S4

When regressing to my four year old self I was much entertained with pretty colors and dogs driving spaceships. Very nice, very colorful.

Would’ve been nice if they explained exactly why Keith felt the need to work with the BoM. They really could’ve made that a sub plot in itself by showing him searching for any info on his mom considering she was apart of it. And from seeing How Thace recognized the knife it was possible he knew her and in turn Kolivan might’ve known something as well but okay.

Lance sounded fond as fuck during the group hug fight me.

People also saying K/ance is dead???? Sweetie I’m looking at s1 and s3 and um.....where???? Kinda hard to have those moments when one person’s not even there but okay.

I’m in a love hate relationship with Matt tbh, I love him but at the same time he sounds like a pokemon trainer from the 80′s and him going “Brock” on Allura did not help one bit.

Also Lance is me, I too would be glaring fucking daggers if some thirsty white boy was trying to make the moves on my friend when I damn well she too good for him. And a princess at that, man please.

I got so mad at this scene:

*Shiro getting in the black lion and seeing her powering up for him*

Me: NO, NO, NO FUCK YOU, THAT IS NOT YOUR SON YOU TWO TIMING BITCH WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU, IT BETTER BE OUT OF NECESSITY YOU FUCK OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SLAP YOU, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU’RE ABOUT 100FT TALL AND ARE MADE OF MAGICAL SPACE COMETS, I WILL END YOU.

Shiro and Keith hug like fucking dudebros, how anyone could interpret that as them being gay for each other is beyond me but okay jan.

They keep saying Allura is a teen but I have yet to see her actually...be one you know??? I dunno just let her have fun you fucking fucks.

People also saying Sh@tt lowkey died because Matt called Shiro sir which is understandable but they’re like....different ranks obviously so I mean...yeah.

Can’t wait for these hoes to find out Shiro is not their Shiro, hopefully we see their reactions instead of the aftermath but okay.

All those new Galran Female commanders???? They’re my moms and they’re mine, fight me.

Love how Lotor killed Narti and apparently didn’t even explain why.

Also guys, Kova is alive. Like...I mean yeah they were left in a currently being destroyed base but the cat is 10k years old and some change, I’m pretty sure this isn’t the worst thing they’ve been through.

But yeah Lotor’s on my shit list for killing Narti, no redemption arc for him, I don’t give a fuck if he actually does change, he killed off homegirl in front of her girlfriends and I refuse to let that slide, too many lesbians died this season.

Now I thought this season was okay, but apparently The Voltron Show episode was the one that really grinded people’s gears and I didn’t watch it at all. I got five minutes in but the physical pain I felt from the second hand embarrassment was too real and I quit. But apparently they reduced my babes to gross traits and I refuse to let them go about that.

Also this whole season just felt off and all over the place. They’re rushing this show and I don’t like it, it seems like they’re just trying to get it over with and that’s not a good thing to do lmao.

I was also informed that odd numbered seasons have been good while even numbered season have been shit. So I can’t wait when s5 and s7 come out, the last two seasons of Voltron like...wow we’ve come a long way.

A Few Other Things I Noticed:

The rebel with the helmet that looked straight outta Destiny with the nice voice???? She’s my fucking wife back the fuck off, I call dibs.

I don’t think Lotor meant to save Keith, homeboy was directly in front of the shields and Lotor was a ways behind it so for all intents and purposes he didn’t really save Keith in that sense if this makes sense???

Zarkon looks like fucking Shredder from the new tmnt movies, fucking overkill, looking like a goddamn gundam.

People were talking about Ka//ura???? Lmao where my dudes???? There was nothing romantic about the scene they had, she was giving him a lecture that he didn’t want to hear and nothing even subtly friendly was going on between them, she was literally there to talk about the team and how this could affect them because she’s the “heart of voltron” but okay, you do you I guess.

I loved those Lance and Allura scenes, they’re turning into good friends and people that support each other and goddamn I wish I was able to see that shit growing up.

Dreamworks likes to take things too fucking far like...we want shiro to rest and you pretty much “kill” him off, we want Keith to kinda just take a step back for a moment and you mcfcuking have that boy almost die like...are fucking sixteen???? What is the deal my dudes?

Aslo, Lotor you fuck what the fuck, how the fuck did you get your fucking arms like...what the ever loving fuckSFDGdfjh.

Long story short I enjoyed this season even if it was a little messy and I can’t wait for s5 to redeem the show but yeah, cool beans.

[mistyheartrbs]

good luck wizards

so on december 20th, 2017 aka last night i thought “aw man it sure is weird that all disney channel sitcoms take place in the same universe!” and then literally ten minutes later i was knee-deep in writing a really gay wizards of waverly place/good luck charlie crossover fanfiction in tweet format. and i loved doing it. 

so here it is, my masterpiece, good luck wizards 

a/n: some background: alex and teddy are roommates at whatever unattainable college teddy ended up going to and i have been mad about stevie’s death for six years now

"she just died," alex whimpers to teddy one night, curled up in her arms with two cups of magic hot cocoa in their hands (winning the wizard competition has some perks - learning the spell to keep hot cocoa warm indefinitely is one of them) "i could've done something." 

"they put her back together. it's okay." 

"it was like i could hear...laughing. nobody cared. nobody mourned her."

"yeah that's pretty terrible." 

"wizards suck, teds. don't get mixed up with them." 

 "i'll try." 

"should i...should i visit? i haven't seen her since..." 

"why not?"

"guilt. it took like, six months. i could've probably done it in half the time. messed up, man." 

"where is she now?" 

"wizard juvie. i dunno." alex starts making loops with her wand, little tendrils like snowflakes following her motions. it's lovely, teddy thinks. "probably being made to clean up after slime toads or whatever. the wizard world's got some cra-appy punishments." alex's voice lilts on "crappy," and she jerks her wand sharply upwards. teddy tries not to flinch. "help me out with a spell, would you?"

"okay?" teddy wonders if this is like that time gabe asked her to "help" with a "harmless prank." it's probably worse. 

"just sit here and take my hand when the portal opens.” alex raises her wand. “when the world slips apart and wants to see me / take me there to go to my friend stevie." a portal opens in truly bad 2007 cgi. they go in. 

"that was a really bad rhyme," teddy deadpans as the two of them fall through the void. 

"i'm working on my original spells, okay? it's an ~experimental style~"

"whatever you say."

and then the portal closes and they land. not very gracefully. on top of each other. it's not wizard juvie, and it's not some slime frog habitat, either. it's a little apartment. dusty and dim, with a faded rainbow flag hanging on one wall. a funny-looking dog skitters across the floor, and its footsteps echo around the room. 

"susan?" a familiar voice calls out. alex freezes. "hey, i said i was gonna...oh." stevie nichols stops dead in her tracks at the two intruders. "hi."

"i'm just gonna..." teddy awkwardly backs away to go back into the portal, only to realize it's not there anymore. she pokes at the air anyway. it's fraught with tension, alex and stevie staring at each other.

"took you long enough," stevie finally grumbles. "i thought you'd forgotten." 

"i wanted to," alex admits. "it's easier to just bury that sorta thing down deep, though, isn't it?" 

"yeah."

teddy stares helplessly at the blank wall. she needs to leave before this gets bad. 

"it was like i was asleep for a while," stevie murmurs. teddy notices a few weird little cracks in her body. "after that happened. and then i wasn't. and i was in wizard juvie."

"i could've broken you out," alex realizes. "the dynamic duo at it again, right?" she laughs hollowly. "but they all wanted to forget about you! and you were dead! they'd have thought i was nuts."

"for trying to help?"

the wizard world is really truly messed up, teddy thinks. 

"with the competition and everything, it took me forever to even find out you had a chance of coming back, and i tried to tell myself that was enough. i mean, if it was enough, i wouldn't have to see you again, right?"

"and you'd forget just like them. move on with your life." 

"exactly." 

"that's a crappy thing to do to a friend, dude."

"maybe i didn't know if we'd be friends after this stuff at all!" alex snaps, and then she claps a hand over her mouth. teddy crouches behind a counter - it's all she can think to do to get out of this awkward situation, since there's no clear door.

"i don't give a flying fruit bat about what most people think. but you, stevie, you were like some kind of visionary! and how could i face you after i betrayed you and then let you die and then tried to forget?" 

stevie still isn't moving.

"do you ever think maybe i wonder about what would've happened if none of that had ever been a thing? we could've been two wizard kids and just, like, lived. maybe we could've gone on a date or something, i dunno." 

stevie turns red and her cracks start showing again.

"i would've liked that, too," stevie croaks. it occurs to teddy that maybe stevie doesn't talk much anymore - living in what's apparently another dimension consisting only of her apartment with just a dog present seems awfully lonely.

"open the portal, open the gate," alex says suddenly, and stevie recoils at the sight of the wand like it's a weapon. "take me and stevie to our first date." the three of them are whisked away.

(PREVIOUSLY ON GOOD LUCK WIZARDS, alex entered the lesbian dimension and teddy third-wheeled for an argument)

"that was a better rhyme," teddy says, trying to keep pace with alex and stevie as they walk. stevie looks at her strangely. 

"do i know you?" she asks. teddy feels vaguely threatened.

"yeah, yeah, she looks just like justin's vampire girlfriend, it's weird, we've been over this." alex rolls her eyes, and stevie looks at her warmly. "real weird. i know." 

"if it helps, i don't know much about wizards at all," teddy offers. she looks around - it's not like the last portal, where they were falling through a purple void. instead, it's just a white space, with fog bunching around her ankles.

"she's my roommate. i got dropped into all of this stuff after she showed up."

"so you've still got your powers. i guess you won the wizard competition?" stevie looks alex up and down. "and you're going to college?"

"contrary to popular belief," alex drawls, "our lives don't end after we graduate high school. i spent two years having a good time doing wizard stuff, and then i got up off my butt and applied to some places and bam! new friend."

"how'd she find out about...all of this?" stevie gestures to the space they're in. even though she's asking alex the questions, teddy feels like she's the one being interrogated, somehow. 

"that was my bad," alex admits. "i thought she wasn't gonna show up until later, so i went and used a teleportation spell and..." 

"there i was," teddy finishes. "have you guys ever noticed how all of your magic looks like something from a low-budget movie?"

"we've noticed," alex and stevie say in unison, and then they look at each other and laugh. teddy feels like she's intruding on something. 

"hey." alex stops in front of a massive door, patchy and glowing. "we're here."

"whoa, whoa, whoa." stevie steps back. "you didn't tell me we'd be stopping at your house first." 

"i mean, yeah. what, did you think i'm actually a good enough wizard to just get us right to where i wanted to go?"

when we get back to college, teddy thinks, i'm getting her some lessons in self-esteem. 

"besides, my folks aren't even around half the time. max runs the shop now."

"max. great." 

"what's wrong with max?" teddy had met max, once, when he'd visited their college. he seemed nice enough, if a little bit of an idiot.

"he-" 

"made a really bad mistake," alex intervenes, and she seems to realize why this is such a bad idea. "i'll sneak you past him."

"better than being trapped in that apartment, i guess," stevie sighs, and follows alex through the door. teddy almost stumbles back into the wizard world when she sees the room - it's dark and cluttered and nothing at all like her pastel-colored rooms back home.

"aw, c'mon!" alex moans. "did dad really rearrange everything? if he's here i'm gonna give him a piece of my mind, i'll tell you what." 

"you know, i think i'm just going to stay here," teddy says.

"nope." alex takes her by the arm and all but drags her out of - what the heck why is their living room in a vegetable cooler - and into a brightly lit diner, with stevie close behind. max looks up from a magazine. 

"hey," he says. stevie narrows her eyes. max stumbles back. "o-oh," he mumbles. "hey, stevie." 

"hey, squirt." stevie pushes past him for the exit. 

"sorry for killing you!" max calls behind her, but she can't hear him.

"okay!" alex claps her hands together and lets out a long sigh. "where to?" 

"for what?" 

"for our date, you doofus. what do you think 'me and stevie's first date' meant?"

"seriously?"

"yeah." 

"okay, what about . . . the movies? i can't really see movies in the apartment but i hear about 'em. is Bird Dude 3: Revenge of the Birds still playing?"

"Tender Vampire Romance is out now, too," teddy says, too quiet for either of them to hear. 

 "i've been meaning to see that one!" alex exclaims, starting to grin and very much ignoring the other suggestion. "this one's too scared of horror to go with me." she jabs a finger at teddy, who feels a little bit insulted. 

"i can do it," she says, since apparently she's not getting out of this situation, probably doomed to be a third wheel forever. "i mean, it can't be that scary after seeing magic, right?"

"it's decided!" alex bends down, plucks her wand from her boot, and starts to wave it around. "whether it's the first, second, or third," she starts, "let us see the movies about birds." they're whisked away again.

and then they end up in the movie theater. more specifically, behind the ticket counter. on top of each other. 

"now that's just overkill," stevie mutters. "isn't the movie theatre like, ten minutes from your house?"

"dad says i've gotta start working on my teleportation skills." 

"they're obviously not great," teddy groans, from underneath stevie's boot. 

"plus, this one's got a bonus." alex holds up a bowl. "baby tomatoes!" she cheers, and stevie's eyes light up. teddy leers at the bowl.

"they're just regular tomatoes?" she asks. "not, like, actually infants from a sentient tomato species you weirdos eat for fun?" 

"what? no!"

"what kind of monsters do you think we are?" stevie adds. teddy shrugs. "we just like 'em because they make us feel like dinosaurs. rawr, i'm eating a tomato. woo." stevie pops one in her mouth. "man, i've missed these."

"they don't have baby tomatoes in your apartment dimension?"

"nope. just regular-sized tomatoes." alex claps a hand over her chest like she's been wounded. 

"what kind of sick torture is that?!" stevie shrugs. 

"eh. could've been worse. i could've been dead for longer." 

"listen, guys, i'm loving this feelings session, but we're going to miss the movie if you keep up like this." teddy points to the showtimes. "and if i stay stuck in this ticket booth for another two hours with you lovebirds-" 

"crap! birds! stevie, we've gotta go!" alex takes stevie by the hand and drags her out of the ticket booth down the hall.

apologetic, teddy slips a twenty-dollar bill on the counter. hopefully it'll be enough. she runs after the pair of wizards and they just barely make it into the theatre before the previews start. teddy stops a few seats above alex and stevie.

Bird Dude 3: Revenge of the Birds starts and it's truly awful. but teddy can hear alex and stevie laughing from their seats, so that's something. it's a whole lot of something, actually.

***

"... and then when the bird dude jumped out and went 'rahh!' i could hear everyone screaming!" alex cackles, and stevie laughs with her. 

"okay, okay, but what about when his enemy the lizard gal punctured his throat?"

"that was so good!"

"they need to make a movie about lizard gal. she's the best." 

"aww, does big bad stevie have a crush?" alex teases. stevie elbows her, hard.

"tell me you didn't see something there between her and otter lady."

"when it comes out on dvd, we have to have a movie night at your place. all three bird dude movies, back to back!" alex is happier than teddy's ever seen her, but stevie's smile drops, and teddy can see the cracks again. "i'll even bring baby to-"

"you can't." 

"what?" 

"you can't bring stuff to the apartment. stuff appears, like the dog and the flag, sometimes when i want it or need it or whatever, but not from other people."

no wonder wizards keep their world a secret from everybody, teddy thinks. they've got some terrible rules. 

"you shouldn't have even been able to show up. at wizard juvie, sure, but the apartment? i'm supposed to be alone."

"maybe it was the power of love," teddy offers unhelpfully, half-meaning it as a joke but half-wondering if it's true. from the way alex and stevie actually ponder it for a moment, it seems like she's hit the nail on the head.

and then she walks off before alex and stevie can turn her arms into jelly or something like that, slipping behind a massive cutout of the leads from Tender Vampire Romance. she's in way too deep to stop now.

she watches as alex's face crumples in defeat. as stevie just stands there. as a few people pay them odd glances. 

"we can do something," alex says. "we have to." 

"we really don't," stevie says. "it's okay."

"hey, when did the bad girl get so sweet?" alex awkwardly nudges stevie with her shoulder. "the old you would've taken the offer and run with it." 

"i guess i've changed," stevie says. "being alone in an apartment dimension gives you a lot of time to think."

"that still sucks, by the way," alex scoffs. "that's, like, worse than wizard juvie."

"yeah." 

"i'm gonna visit, okay? a lot. and we can keep going on dates out here and stuff. you're not gonna be alone." alex clenches her wand in her hand. "not on my watch."

"that's my cue to leave, huh?" stevie sighs. "it was nice seeing you again, russo. i hope you'll keep that promise, but i get it if you-" and then alex kisses her, and teddy has to put her hand in her mouth to hide her excitement.

stevie sinks deeper into the kiss, and for a moment they're just two girls in a seedy movie theatre, with no magic or anything. 

"been wanting to do that for like three years," alex breathes, once she pulls away and stevie is shellshocked. "it's just as nice as i thought it'd be."

"wait!" teddy yells, and both of them turn around in surprise. "uh, stevie, i've known you for like four hours? but i don't think you deserve to be . . . alone, like that. come with us. i'm okay with it." 

"seriously?" stevie points at her.

"sure, you'd have to hide and stuff since i guess legally you died in 2011, it wouldn't be great or anything, but you two would be together, and that's what's important, right?" 

"you're too nice for your own good," stevie laughs, but she's holding alex's hand. "okay," she finally says. "as long as everyone's okay with it. alex?"

"another wizard in this place? heck yeah!" alex pumps her fist and kisses stevie again, and teddy feels an odd sort of warm swelling in her chest. it's a disney ending, and a lovely one at that.

"are you ready?" alex asks, and both stevie and teddy nod. "okay . . . through the world we might roam . . ." 

"this is pretty bad," stevie whispers to teddy, and she nods in agreement. "it's kinda cute." 

 ". . . let us now go right back home." 

they're all whisked away.

[lilnasxvevo]

KINGSMAN 2 SPOILERS

Okay I have a lot of thoughts about Kingsman and I am going to share them with you. They are silly and disjointed thoughts. This post is extremely long. 

Uh the fight scenes in this movie were fucking top notch. No single scene beat the true majesty of The Church Scene in the first Kingsman, but overall the quality of fight scenes was higher.

This movie was also a lot grosser than the first one tho? I did not need ANY of that meat grinder shit. Literally did not enjoy a single second of it. Kingsman has gone from campy violence to Coen brothers violence, and while I absolutely love the Coen brothers, I didn’t like that level of violence in Kingsman.

Listen. Roxy isn’t dead. Brandon isn’t dead. JB isn’t dead. Whiskey isn’t dead. Merlin isn’t dead. Nobody is dead. No one has ever died. Those deaths were so bullshit and I hated all of them and I haven’t emotionally processed any of them but I am probably going to cry my heart out the next time I watch this movie. (Here’s my rationale: Mark Strong has already teased that Merlin might still be alive so obviously he’s alive--plus  I covered my eyes when he died because I was afraid it would be super gross. We didn’t see the bodies of Roxy, Brandon, or JB, so obviously they’re still alive. Finally, that wasn’t Whiskey at the end of the movie, it was...his evil twin. That’s all I got on that one.)

I LOVE AGENT WHISKEY and I literally refuse to believe he was a bad guy. That was so sloppily done. At the very least they should have explained how Harry knew that Whiskey was a bad guy--that might have gone a little ways towards convincing me. But in general, Kingsman’s shit-ass treatment of people of color has got to stop. Whiskey could have just been a good guy but apparently Kingsman as a franchise has devoted itself to taking men of color down a notch. It sucks. There have been, what, four named men of color in two movies? And out of all four, Jamal is the only one who’s still alive. Fuck that shit a lot. (I believe half of the named women of color have died--I can only think of two across both movies.) 

I was suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper disappointed that there wasn’t more Agent Tequila. The trailers and the whole premise of the movie made it seem like he would be an actual character and not a guy who gets three appearances and ends up in a damn cryo pod for most of the movie. 

I wish this whole movie had just been about Ginger Ale. Okay, here’s a more realistic wish: I wish Ginger Ale had gone with the Kingsman guys instead of Whiskey. When she told Merlin that she really wanted to be a field agent, he should have stood up for her when the time came to decide who went on literally either or both of the field missions in the movie. (Honestly, she probably would have been more help in Italy than Harry--no offense, Harry, but you almost killed Eggsy twice and Whiskey three times.) 

Elton John was fucking stellar in this movie. Totally divine. I love him. I ship him with Harry now.

I’m literally going to cry for the rest of my life about the fact that Harry wanted to be a butterfly scientist. Regressed amnesiac Harry was the cutest thing I have ever seen. Scratch that, it’s the second cutest thing--the cutest thing was Harry in the flashback in the plaid Kingsman trainee jumpsuit that they’ve apparently been using since time immemorial. 

I was unclear on this, but surely if Harry remembered everything else about being 20-something, he would remember his own name. “We didn’t know who he was so we didn’t know what to do with him” Bullshit. Do a fuckin google search for “Harry Hart,” which is both his legal name and the name he introduces himself by to literally everyone despite the fact that he has a code name. 

I love Tilde. I really love Tilde. I promise I love Tilde so much--I think she is cool and funny and down-to-earth and smart and kind. But. Why did she and Eggsy get fucking married. Really? Someone who is royalty dates a foreign commoner for like a year and they decide that’s enough time to know whether or not they wanted to get married? Plus, at the music festival, Eggsy literally sounded zero percent into the idea. I’m so mad. 

Speaking of the music festival...Why? Why? I get that Kingsman logic is the logic of the absurd, but that was way too much Plot Gymnastics just to get in a pseudo sex scene. Fuck off with that bullshit. “Mucous membrane.” Just stick your finger up her nose and run away!

There were not one but two puppies in this movie. I am pleased. It almost makes up for the fact that I am meant to believe that JB is dead. Which he isn’t. Because reasons. (I have always been and always will be a “IF WE DIDN’T SEE THE BODY THEY AREN’T DEAD” kind of fan.)

Harry is gay. Harry is literally gay. Literally everything about him suggests that he is gay and I really wish someone would just mention that he likes men. He’s gay. In both movies, he got into a bar fight because someone who just met him called him gay in an insulting way. I know straight men are like really into that brand of insult, but that’s just excessive, especially the bar fight in this movie--someone approached him to call him homophobic slurs just because the sheer force of Harry’s gay aura offended him. I believe this counts as deliberate queerbaiting but because I don’t have any self-respect I’m totally falling for it because I need positive gay male role models. (Harry counts as a positive role model, doesn’t he? ...Doesn’t he?)

Ginger Ale is a lesbian. Roxy is (PRESENT TENSE BECAUSE SHE’S STILL ALIVE) a lesbian. Everyone in these movies is gay or bi. It is law.

I wasn’t expecting the president to be so Trumplike. I appreciate that he was impeached. I’m a little troubled because this movie is supposed to take place in 2015 and so the president would still be Obama like it was in the last movie. I thought for a moment that maybe Kingsman!Obama accepted Valentine’s invitation and was killed during the head explosion part, but Kingsman!Obama is likely a Democrat just like the real Obama, and the president in this movie was C L E A R L Y a Republican, when in real life it would be Obama’s vice president, who would also be a Democrat. So just a plot hole I guess. 

Weird that just like last movie, the villain was a person with a reasonable goal (stop climate change, legalize drugs) going about it in an incredibly unreasonable and genocidal way. I think both movies are going for positive social messages, but it...it’s just weird. IDK.

Boy, Kingsman sure is getting a lot of mileage out of those mountain-camouflage white snow suits. Where’s the next movie going to take place, Siberia?

Charlie better stay dead this time. I hate that bastard. 

Did I mention Elton John was great in this movie?

Ginger looked so good at the wedding. I love her. 

I did like that this movie showed that most people who do drugs are just normal people. 

I liked that Statesman was more diverse than Kingsman but I straight up saw like one Asian woman and one black man (and Whiskey) and then a ton of white guys. Call me back when Statesman is half women with just...considerably more people of color. Considerably more. It’s cool that Ginger is an agent now but keep working.

Are code names linked to your position in Statesman like in Kingsman? Is Ginger now Agent Whiskey, or still Agent Ginger Ale? (I didn’t like that the only woman was the only non-alcoholic beverage, by the way. I get that it miiiight be tied to her being the only non-field-agent but I still hate it.) Also, how do they not run out of beverage names? Can people be named after their favorite mixed drink? Agent Cosmopolitan? Agent Screwdriver?

Oh my god here are some agent names that totally exist within Statesman: Agent Beer. Agent Wine. Agent Scotch. Agent Brandy. Agent Gin (hard to say). I love this stupid organization. I hope Agent Beer is from Wisconsin. 

Eggsy jumping through Whiskey’s lasso was so fucking sick. I saw the movie with three other people and we all SCREAMED. 

Colin Firth in a wet white shirt can only ever make me think of Pride and Prejudice. Thanks for that, Kingsman. 

I knew I was forgetting something I really wanted to talk about: GOD SHITTING FUCK I CAN’T BELIEVE EGGSY AND TILDE MOVED INTO HARRY’S OLD HOUSE. I GET THAT IT MIGHT BE TIED TO THE GALAHAD POSITION BUT GOD FUCKING DAMN. It’s been a year and they haven’t redecorated? Possibly at all? That one bathroom is still full of butterflies and Mr Pickle is still mounted on the wall? 

Eggsy’s voice breaking and his lip quivering when he and Tilde talk about Harry. Kill me.

THE BREAKFAST SCENE MADE IT INTO A MOVIE PLEASE KILL ME

Harry and Eggsy are in love? They’re in love

I love Roxy so much. Did I mention she’s still alive? 

Agent Tequila’s thighs when they take him out of deep freeze. God damn. 

Just remembered that Eggsy was like “this dinner is really important to me” and everyone assumes that it’s the dinner with Tilde’s parents from the trailer but it’s his friend Brandon’s birthday party. ;___________;

I think that’s all I got. 

[lutsofluv-blog]

london falls with its king: 

a shadowhunters oc story

CHARACTER 1: Ivo Archer

ABOUT HIM

Name: Ivo Archer

Name Meaning: In English the meaning of the name Ivo is: Archer’s bow.

Nickname: Archie (hates it)

Ethnicity: British

Birthplace: London 

Places Lived: Normal house in London

Current Residence: Penthouse in central London

Birthday: April 2nd

Species: Warlock

FAMILY/RELATIONSHIPS

Mother: Evka Lilian

Father: Prince of Hell, Sammael 

Other Important Relatives: Step-mother (Scarlett Lilian), father figure (Ragnor Fell). 

Closest Friends: Magnus bane, Luke Garroway

Enemies: Valentine

Boyfriend/Girlfriend: None

Crush: Luke Garroway

Past Relationship(s): Has had past run ins with Magnus Bane, went on one date with Isabelle Lightwood

PERSONALITY

Positive Traits: 

headstrong 

confident

leader

passionate 

Flaws: 

aggressive

short-tempered

impulsive

impatient

Good Habits: Has gentleman manners and loves to clean

Bad Habits: Taps when bored and breaks things when angry

Likes: To lead others, taking on challenges and comfortable / fashionable clothes

Dislikes: Delays, being late and doing nothing

Hobbies: Practising abilities and shitty mundane reality tv shows

Fear(s): Loosing everyone and everything he has built or fought for in his past centuries 

Opinion on Shadowhunters: Ivo being a High Warlock has many interactions with Shadowhunters and as well as being super fucking old, he has watched the Clave develop over time. However this doesn’t lead him to have respect for them, he believes their ways and ideals are wrong. He does however respect his shadowhunter friends and what they have done for him.

Relationship With the Clave: Helps and contributes to their work.

WARLOCK INFO

Warlock Mark: Eyes that burn with fire and produce sparks of flames

Color of their magic: Light blue with red tinged in

How long have they been alive?: 202 years

Demonic parent: Prince of Hell, Sammael

Age they appear: 25 

FAVOURITES/LEAST FAVOURITES

Food: Mexican cuisine, English breakfasts

Drink: Tea & 7UP

Colour: Monochrome

Season: Winter

Scent: Christmas and warmth, cookie crumble and men’s aftershave

Music: Anything modern

Time of day: Night

Movie: Marvel movies (Mainly avengers)

BACKGROUND 

Ivo grew up luckily very well off in a posh area of London, he lived with his mother Evka Lilian for a short amount of time with her wife Scarlet Lilian. Evka had migrated from Czech when she had a intimate run in with the Prince of Hell, Sammael. Having a child with him and soon marrying Scarlet when they met at a Lesbian bar.

Ivo lived 8 happy years with his two mothers until his warlock mark appeared. The two eyes of fire burning with passion and anger. Neither Evka or Scarlet wished to keep him as he scared them both too much. They believed they couldn’t handle a devil child.

Ivo, soon becoming newly homeless, began to lead himself on the streets of London till Ragnor Fell found him. Ivo was fascinated by him and his warlock marks, he finally found someone like him. Ragnor took him into his home being the High Warlock of London. A bond was created between them, Ragnor became a father figure towards him but Ragnor never seemed to like the idea.

Eventually Ivo stopped ageing around 25. In his time with Ragnor he had met Magnus Bane, a powerful warlock who he grew to become very close friends with and occasionally be more. Nothing serious. As well his mothers had been killed by the mundane government as gay relationships weren’t accepted. Later on he became very close friends with Luke Garroway and harboured a crush on him (which to this day he still isn’t over). He went on one date with Isabelle but they ended it off right after as it was just for her shadowhunter mission.

When Ragnor passed away it was painful for Ivo, he had grieved before but never this hard. He struggled to look after himself and that’s when Magnus stayed in London for a bit to help him recover. Eventually when he had mourned he took over the position of High Warlock of London and became a very respectful Warlock amongst all downworlders.

Ivo began to develop his magic especially in the areas of mind control, hellsmoke and electricity. Currently Ivo lives in Ragnors past penthouse in London where he helps the London institute. More recently though he has been in a lot of contact with the Brooklyn institute and the problems with shadowhunters & downworlders over there.

QUOTES

“Magnus bane you never fail to surprise me and I hate surprises.”

“You should train with me sometime Luke, I mean you don’t have to because I’ll obviously win”

“Shadowhunters are a mess, I swear they have new inquisitors every two days.”

“Every time Jace Wayland speaks, I’m pretty sure I get headaches afterwards.”

“The only way I’ve stayed sane over these hundreds of years is watching shitty reality tv shows Luke, so as much as I would love to sit and discuss why downworlders are a mess and how shadowhunters get really annoying after two seconds in the Jade Wolf, I have to watch this last episode.”

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

6’ | blue eyes | lanky | good posture 

usually wearing something casual with an aesthetic side

[see above]

izzy xo

[dreadhaus-literature]

{A/N}

I~ truthfully don’t know why I came to write. I’ve just been kinda doing my own thing tonight, gave myself a manicure (would have done a pedicure too but it’s cold and I have sockies on) and otherwise was messing about in my closet. Having one of those rare restless moods where I don’t really want to do anything, but y’all know me. I can’t not do something.

So here I am. Doing something.

Uh, well first I suppose I oughta address I hyped up coming out of hiatus today and then, lmao, didn’t. I opened a document to write initially but I just wasn’t feeling FL was connected, so I went to talk to Monica about how things are going. No sense beating a dead horse, we all know what goes with FL and why stuff gets the way it does. So at this point, I’ve just set my pen down until I’m told to pick it up again. Not going to put the blog in hiatus, just don’t expect regular updates anymore, I guess? I’m finding I get discouraged trying to do this alone, so if I can’t do it with my partner, I won’t be doing it at all--and that’s coming from a place of support.

FL isn’t FL without Monica, nor should it be.

I’ll give it a few months and if things keep stagnating or I haven’t gotten a chance to write for FL anymore, I’ll take a look at other stuff to write. I don’t want to not write through 2019 like I did the past three years, I meant what I said at the start of the year.

My whole inspiration for what was going to be today’s prompt was Carol, actually--because I watched the red carpet premiere for Captain Marvel earlier tonight when it was live. Haha, I cried three fucking times. Three! First time was watching everyone SO hype for Carol, like the little girl in me could not handle seeing so many people so excited about someone I’ve loved since I was a kid. I’ve said it before, several times, but I never thought I’d get to see Carol on the big screen. Now, I get so excited I cry, lmao.

The second time I cried was when the youngest actress (who plays Carol as a little girl) was doing an interview and she said how important and special the movie was for her--again, the little girl in me could relate plus Mama Bear was all aflutter at seeing this little angel talk about how excited she was to see another female superhero get her own movie. I remember she said something, “Now every little girl in the world knows she’s special!”

Sweet Christ I’m about to get teary again remembering that. THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT MOVIE. 😤

...And I cried when Brie came out, lmao. I was not ready. She wore a dress full of sunbursts/stars, for Carol’s insignia. 💖💖💖

I could not handle that, like one of Brie’s first lines during her red carpet interview was that Carol changed her life, and my heart about shattered. You can tell Brie is proud to play Carol, and she worked her ass off to be able to do so--and I have so much respect for actors who commit to these roles like that. These characters mean the world to me and I love when the actor who plays them takes that seriously. You can tell, listening to Brie, she does. It was genuine, and I have renewed respect for her and I sincerely hope she knows how much support she has for this movie, despite all the fuckhead trolls out there.

So yeah, I cried for like, an hour? Haha, no, that’s an exaggeration and even if it wasn’t, it was all happy tears. I’m just so excited about this movie and to be somewhere I never thought I’d be. It isn’t to diminish, like, Tony or Peter or Logan but I always knew there’d be Iron Man or Spider-Man or X-Men movies--but there are others, like Thor or T’Challa or Carol, who I never anticipated seeing on the big screen and it’s so huge to be here.

I’m so grateful that we are here.

I’ve kinda just been all over the comicverse today, actually, looking at stuff--well, haha, in the two biggest backyards, rather. I only really stray outside of Marvel and DC to visit Anung & Co, but y’all know me. I’ve got my faves and I stick to my familiars--which up until very recently just included Marvel, lmao. But DC’s in there now, obviously, so I do wander about there from time to time. I feel like I visit a new school or some shit every time I do this, because I recognize some folks now but I run into others and I’m just like, yeah, i have no fucking idea who you are, haha. My DC coloring book came and it was vastly different from flipping through my Marvel book; I could name every single person for my Marvel book but I think I can count on my fingers and toes the DC folks I know. BUT I AM TRYING. Haha, I am learning, and it’s fun for a lot of reasons. Say this all the time but I am grateful to Monica for getting me to stop staring down my nose at the lot of them. I was missing out.

But I uh, well I’m noticing that a lot of what I like...not a lot of other DC fans do, lmao. And I’m not going to be tooting my own horn over here--or Avery’s rather, because I gave that back to her--but I just mean, I was taken aback by how, uh, upset some DC fangirls are about things that I liked or enjoyed? And I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, it happens on the Marvel side too. People are opinionated and I usually fall to the counter-culture side of arguments. I guess because I’m a wide-eyed newbie to the DCverse, I wasn’t thinking about it. Okay, like, for example--

My first unpopular opinion is that Arthur Curry looks better in the comics than the DCEU.

“Whaaaaaat?! BUT DOT, ARE YOU SAYING JASON MOMOA ISN’T HOT?!”

I’m not here to say Jason isn’t attractive or that he doesn’t do Arthur justice--but I’mma stand here and on the same hand say Tony Stark looks better in the comics than in the MCU. One, because I’m a huge gigantic lesbian, and two, because I always think the comics look better. Like, you will never hear me say otherwise, in terms of looks. Real life cannot compete with fantasy; characters can be drawn perfectly and try as we might to emulate that in real life, we never can.

It has nothing to do with the actors, nothing to do with Jason or RDJ, it’s all about the comic character they play--which a lot of fangirls seem to forget when it comes to these live-action portrayals, might I add.

And so uh, when I wanna look at Arthur, like everyone else in the comics, I’d rather see his comic iteration. And ain’t nobody here for comic Aquaman for some reason. I never see him around and it sucks. I guess I shouldn’t judge but I do a little. Like, y’all been sleepin’ on Arthur or mocking him for fucking years and even I knew that, from my DC-hating lawn chair. But now that Jason plays him, now he’s acceptable? Now he’s okay?

Arthur is literally in the same boat as Loki, like if you don’t love them at their comicverse then you don’t get to love them in the movies. Ya don’t love Arthur, you love Jason. And I just don’t get that. Jason’s a beefcake and y’all know I’m here for some bulk but if we’re comparing looks comic Arthur is who I’m diving into the briny deep for every single day of the year.

^ LIKE THIS GIF IS SAVED IN MY PHONE LIBRARY, I LOVE IT SO MUCH how do you not find this sexy, like I am a gay woman and he could part me like the Red Sea.

Anyway.

My 2nd apparent unpopular opinion is that Edward Nygma, Mr. Riddler, looks super scrumptious in the Batman, War of Jokes and Riddles arc. I went to look at him for...reasons, earlier tonight, and I was expecting others to agree with me and was pretty stunned that everyone in the tag was making fun of him. I felt like Peter, like I went, “Riddle me this, how hot is Edward in this arc, guys, amirite?” And I held up my hand for a high five and got left hanging by the entire rest of the fandom--Monica not included because she’s above the fandom on her lofty angel cloud.

And I don’t give a shit, y’all know I hate popular things and I’m not complaining about this, I’m talking about it because I’m still not over my surprise. I’m aware I don’t like conventionally attractive types, I have this thing with unique bone structure or just unique appearances to begin with but I didn’t think Edward fell into that. I just thought he was handsome, like...at the risk of embarrassing myself but I found myself staring at him a lot during the arc when Monica was reading it to me because it was the kind of attractive that kept catching my eye. And so to hear so many people saying how ugly he looked or how they hated that iteration of him and I was like...lmao, am I missing something?? There’s every chance I am, I am very new to this party.

But I’m not new to the general premise of finding someone attractive so to look me in my retinas and tell me this--

This is not an entire look? Y’all seriously gonna hit the pass button on this particular Nygma?

This--

This is ugly, to you?

??????????

I’M NOT JUST USING QUESTION MARKS BECAUSE IT’S EDWARD I’M BEING SERIOUS, I am seriously confused by this. I see people posting photo sets of him in this arc and I wanna reblog them but they’re being shitty/sarcastic/mean about his appearance and i can’t delete OP’s unnecessary commentary.

I just can’t believe people think he looks ugly here. 😗 I can’t believe this particular opinion is an unpopular one...but whatever it’s my opinion and I’ll just sit on this island with my giant cardboard cutout of him. I don’t need y’all.

Man, and I thoroughly enjoyed that arc and so many people hated it, lmao. It may be because I’m new--actually, no. I’m not giving the fandom the benefit of the doubt for that one. Monica and I read that arc and while I didn’t have a ton of Batman history to base it on, it was solid writing and it was enjoyable to read. I think it comes down to that everyone is so quick to shit all over anything, anymore. Everyone is so fucking miserable, lmao, like it’s so chic to hate everything that’s put in front of you. It reminds me of trying to serve a toddler lunch. I can still remember trying to appease my little sister’s picky ass tummy when she was a baby, even things I knew for a fact she oughta like or that she did like, she’d smack off her high chair and cry about wanting something else--so she could repeat it when I set something new down. It’s the same fucking thing. As someone who is pretty happy with pretty much anything, it makes me anxious, like I worry everyone hating everything is gonna make content creators stop doing things. Why should they keep on, all you wanna do is bitch about anything they do? I wouldn’t write if I got that many complaints about my perfectly good stories. It’s...aggravating, why people can’t just be happy.

Which~ brings me to my third unpopular opinion, that I know Monica shares with me--BatCat sucks. Like, it’s a crappy pairing. It’s in the same boat as Peter & MJ, or Matt & Karen, or Tony & Pepper--I am not writing their dumbass ship name. I only wrote BatCat because the ship name is cute and that’s 90% because it has cat in it and I love kitties.

Anyway.

I see...so much support for this pairing and I’m like...y’all know she left him at the altar, right? Broke his heart? I really don’t care why she did it, there’s not going to be a single reason she could give that would make it okay in my book. I don’t know Selina all that well and I don’t actually dislike her like I do MJ or Karen or Pepper but I do dislike that I’ve been told she does this to him all the time. Everyone knows I have trust issues and someone flaking or betraying me constantly would drive me...haha, batty.

It’s 8AM leave me alone.

In all seriousness, it really makes me question the sort of girlfriend some girls think they are. I’m a feminist through and fucking through but that doesn’t mean I have to support shit-ass behavior and I don’t tolerate foolishness. As I said above, she could show up in a few issues and say there was some reason why she did it, some noble reason to do with Bane (seriously what the hell is he doing, I know he’s up to some shit) but you let your man know. You let your partner know, you don’t leave them hurting. There’s no fucking excuse for that. I’m a sensitive bitch and I’m 100% fine to admit that and admit that is where I’m coming from but I get so tired of women being selfish in comics, like why do you think it’s acceptable to act like this? I don’t know the nuances of Bruce and Selina’s relationship very well but like I said, I know she betrays him or leaves him a lot and that flaky shit gonna turn me off just as fast as when I saw Joker uncaring about Harley’s love. There are some things I just can’t truck with and that’s one of them.

I shouldn’t be surprised there’s so much love for this pairing, so many people are pushing for them to be married and I shouldn’t be shocked--Tony/Pepper and Peter/MJ is super fucking popular but that doesn’t...make them good pairings. You don’t treat your partner the way these women do. You just...don’t. I used to hate Bruce, h-a-t-e him, but it’s polar opposite at this point. He about did me in, initiating all those “I love yous,” and she broke his heart and I just...fwah. The fastest way to make me love you is to give me a reason to take care of you, I have learned.

Shit like these unsupportive relationships for people who give and give until they literally bleed flares my Mama Bear up bad.

I went from hating Bruce to this--

AND THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT, WHAT’S DONE IS DONE. Bruce can protect Gotham, that’s fine, but I guess my black ass finna be there when he gets home to protect him.

THIS IS WHERE WE ARE NOW.

My poor future children are fin’ta be smothered.

So yeah, I kinda went off on a tangent there and I initially...didn’t mean to, lmao. I’m sure there’s other shit I’m missing in terms of my opinions on DC, and I could go on for sixteen years about my Marvel shit, but I’ve...rambled on long enough.

Good night, my loves~♥

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews… I Love Dick (S01E02) The Conceptual Fuck Airdate: May 12, 2017 @amazonvideo Ratings: @amazon streaming only Score: 8.25/10

***********SPOILERS BELOW**********

Just like the first episode of ‘I Love Dick’, the second is over in a flash. It happens so quickly, so ferociously fast, with these seemingly large events that have a heavy significance on these characters, that they are almost too fast to catch. There’s irony in there somewhere because I can see someone easily professing that not much is happening, but in its characterization so much is transpiring I can almost feel my neck break from the whiplash. The episode opens with who I am assuming to be the two head honchos of the Venice Film Festival where Chris’ film had to be pulled because of music rights. They are attempting to watch the film and it looks straight up awful. It’s a lot like the French-Belgian film referenced in this very episode, Chantal Akerman’s 1974 black and white, supposedly charged with raw feminism ‘Je, Tu, Il, Elle’, just without any kind of hypnotic beat, sensuality, or weird lesbian sex scene where two women wrestle around in the bed, looking like an early WWF Women’s Wrestling Match during Post-Attitude Era when women with actual talent and showmanship were actually in the ring. Sorry, I have really weird, repressed, mixed feelings towards that film. Anyway, the two Italian Men toss it because they can’t take it anymore and then we cut back to Marfa, TX. Prepare for lots of cuts, I am very well aware of the presence of editors Julie Cohen & Christal Khatib.

Again there are some really strange, very human moments in this episode. I personally haven’t read the book, but my bestie in Brooklyn raves about it, even calling it her favorite. I keep going back to three big moments in the episode and I’m running them through my mind trying to figure out where these people are coming from. The first is when Chris shows up and interrupts Dick’s seminar, much to the chagrin of Sylvere, who believes that Chris attempting to attend Dick’s seminar is crossing a line in their fantasy that he’s just not comfortable with. Chris could give two shits, obviously this isn’t really a two way street, and shows up anyway… Later lying to Sylvere about being able to get in, claiming that it was full.

She brings a laptop with her terrible film on it and she’s literally a hot mess, once again a possible reference to 'Je, Tu, Il, Elle’… Her phone goes off, she’s bumbling all over the place, Dick dismisses his class and watches a few seconds of her horrible, horrible film and she legit, *and I can’t get over it*, but she legit strokes his head as he’s bent over watching the film. The gesture, the moment, his response to immediately shut the laptop and tells Chris, 'Its not my thing,’ It all sent me into a sort-of paralyzing shock. WTF just happened? Chris freaks out and points out that he hasn’t made art in 7 years and that brick he had set out as an art piece wasn’t art at all… To which he affirmed his love for straight lines. The rich metaphor isn’t lost on me, I died laughing and am chuckling as I’m writing this but I think it’s a combination of that comment and everything that happened so fast in that scene. My love for it increases with repeat views.

Meanwhile, Sylvere is having his own awkward encounters with the woman he met in the first episode, Toby (India Menuez)… This one I had to watch twice as well. Both Sylvere and Chris might have reinvigorated their sex life with this weird sexual fantasy about the mysterious, straight line loving 'Dick’, but they are tanking in the Marfa social scene. Sylvere questions Toby’s taste in art, finding out that her project is about 'looking at hardcore porn without judgement’, and verbatim, 'So I reduce it to its shapes.’ He takes the judgement further and calls her a child and asks her why she’s obsessed with porn, then reduces her to her beauty. The ironic and stunningly ignorant comment is met with the long pause from Toby, striking facial emotional-responding realization and then she simply tells Sylvere, 'You’re awful.’ And again the scene cuts fast, it’s almost dizzying, like I don’t have time to react. The cut is to a red screen with Chris’ words appearing large in and in charge on the screen, 'Dear Dick, I will not be muzzled.’ Only later when I’m sorting out my feelings on the episode, I find myself laughing at the quick edits, and just slightly tonally jarring direction led by the great Kimberly Pierce (a woman who literally burst on to the scene in '99 with the Oscar Winning 'Boys Don’t Cry’). I don’t even know what to think.

Chris returns home after her disastrous meeting with Dick, finding Devon (Roberta Colindrez) installing a water heater or some sort of handy-woman work (see what I did there?), and after the initial shock that someone is in her house, Chris goes right to ranting. Asking her if she knows who the director Maya Deren is, saying that Maya is supposed to be the most important female director of all time. Devon replies No, which I’m guessing most people wouldn’t know her either. Deren was big in the way Indy Bands are big now, but in the 40’s. I know film pretty well, but Meren is mainly a mystery, and while I’m familiar with a lot of films in the 50’s, they are more of Monster Movie in taste (I love classic, iconic trash 50’s cinema, like 'The Blob’, 'Alligator Man’, 'Them’). Trancey, experimental avant-garde types… No the 40’s would be far too early for me to consume that type of genre, despite its cultural importance.

It’s just hilarious to me to see Chris go on and on about how she likes mainstream directors and hates Sofia Coppola, who I’ve always loved btw… Chris cites Sofia’s 'perfect chestnuts highlights’ as another reason she hates her, 'Ooh, hey, how’d you get that brunette? A lotta money!’ I’m literally dead. 😂 Devon starts to follow her around, she’s literally mesmerized by Chris’ unhinged rant. Chris is now just asking rhetorical questions and ranting on as Devon almost salivates at Chris’ crazy as a pure inhibited spectator, 'It is a wonder that any woman could think of herself as an artist.’ Devon actually responds here… 'Uhm, I’m an artist too, so…’ Chris barely recognizes she spoke, muttering back, 'Oh, I didn’t realize’, like that has any bearing on the conversation that could’ve blossomed from there. I’m usually pretty empathetic but if I wasn’t laughing so hard from her rant and the Sofia Coppola comments, who once again I’ve always been fond of, I probably would have reached through the tv and pulled Chris’ hair a bit. I wonder what kind of rant Chris would produce about the cultural cancer of Oxygen’s 'Bad Girls Club’. In a perfect world, there would be an extra scene that Amazon would allow subscribers to see an outtake of this very scenario.

I guess Chris’ interaction with Dick is so jarring that she starts to rip down all the letters she wrote to Dick from the lines strung across her bedroom. And it appears Chris’ visit to Dick’s class was so jarring we see him sitting on his porch staring intently into the Great wide Texan open, clearly annunciating her name in full, 'Chris Kraus’. The editing is fantastic in these final moments (tho to be fair it’s great the whole way through). We see Devon shirtless, confidently writing as if a lightbulb is literally shining bright above her head. Sylvere somberly mopes back through town to his home. This is when we cut to 'Je, Tu, Il, Elle’ where the protagonist speaks about taking everything she had written and spreading it out, then just laying in bed. Cut to Chris laying in bed looking up at the empty wire dawned with clothespins that once held all the letters to Dick, the same letters that had Sylvere and Chris fucking like they had just met each other. Sylvere walks in professing that he hates the town and tries to sit next to Chris and touch her, but without the letters there is no longer warmth and a red pulsing glow in their bedroom. She jerks away from him and claims her 'skin is tight’. Yeesh.

Suki & Geoff arrive at Devon’s trailer and she reveals what she was fervently writing about… A play… About a couple from New York… A woman… She wants to 'become somebody’… 'But she hates herself’… Another quick cut, God I’m in love with these editors… Chris is packing up all her letters to Dick. Cut to Dick who sees a snake, slithering in the very opposite manner of the straight lines he claims to love so much. He arranges multiple rocks in the shape of the slithering, wavy snake and runs along side of them. Is this Dick beginning to let go of his rigid nature? Cut back to Chris who is walking into Dick Jarrett’s office and drops off a box containing all the letters she had written Dick, and so passionately made love to her husband under. The box is tied with a single ribbon, and there’s a dead moth at one corner of the box with a card… 'To: Dick Jarrett / From: Chris Kraus’… Cut to RED. That’s the perfect color alright.