#she fucked around around there not doing her angelic duties and then fell in love w an emo boy😐

[reggiestein]

What if we were friends and i wasnt supposed to see you again because you had a "dark fate" or whatever but i maybe had a crush on you and i wanted to see you again so i disobeyed my realm and saw u anyway and maybe we kissed what would you do

[pedrospatch]

run

Raider! Joel Miller x Female Reader

*moodboard is for aesthetic purposes only. no mention of reader’s race or skin tone.

summary: When you’re given the chance to run from your captor, you don’t take it.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. RAIDER ERA. DARK!JOEL. DUBCON. MENTIONS PREVIOUS NONCON. UNSPECIFIED AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 50). reader is described washing her hair (the exact length is not specified) and she wears a dress. she is also shorter than Joel. violence, kidnapping, reader has major stockholm syndrome, Joel is fairly soft for her but HE IS STILL NOT A GOOD MAN, brief mention of Tess and Joel being involved with each other, Tess seems like the villain but she might actually be the only one of these three who is not totally fucked up in the head. SMUT. daddy kink. size difference (no description of reader’s body type, Joel is just a big guy with a big dick, enjoy it). oral sex (female receiving), super risky unprotected p in v sex (mention of reader ovulating, Joel pulls out, don’t be be like these two, practice safe sex), creampie (yeah he doesn’t give a fuck the second time around). many, many pet names (baby, baby girl, honey, angel, sweetheart, little girl). um i think that’s it. oh, and they fuck in the dirt.

PLEASE HEED ALL WARNINGS.

word count: 8.6k

a/n: one thing about me is i WILL soften up EVERY version of Joel Miller to my little heart’s content. HUGE HUGE thank you to @endlessthxxghts and @joelsdagger for lending me their eyes and beta-ing this fic for me last night. <33 i love and appreciate you guys SO MUCH. i loved seeing you both in the doc at the same exact time lmao. this can be read as a standalone, but it is considered part of the captive universe.

Everyone in the group has a job. Except for you.

Or at least, that’s what you hear them say.

That bitch doesn’t do shit.

She never has to lift a fucking finger.

She should work for her meal—just like the rest of us.

Bitterness laces their tones when they talk about you.

Insults grow a little bolder when he’s not around.

Useless.

Freeloader.

Leech.

You might not be out there with a rifle in hand hunting game or invading camps and spilling blood for supplies—but you do in fact have a job, and that job is to make Joel Miller happy. It is your responsibility, your duty, to please him, and to keep him satisfied. Because keeping him satisfied keeps him in a good mood, and one thing you’ve come to learn about your captor is, where there is a good mood, often there is mercy.

Hell, you’re doing them a favor by keeping their violent, fearsome leader in a good mood. Because you’ve seen what he does to them when he’s not. He can be just as brutal towards his own people as he is to strangers.

It doesn’t make a difference, though. They still see you as nothing more than his coddled little whore.

“Fuck, that’s it.”

He groans, his thick, callused fingers digging harshly into the softness of your flesh as he holds you firmly in place underneath him. “Oh fuck, baby girl,” Joel curses through gritted teeth, his hands gripping your hips as he uses his own weight against you, pressing you down into the old mattress until you feel every uncomfortable lump, each creaking spring.

While he isn’t fucking you as roughly as he has on other occasions, he’s hardly being gentle. It’s hard, fast.

Loud.

Joel couldn’t care less about the rest of the group, the men and women on the other side of the wall, forced to listen to the sounds coming from the single bedroom of the cabin he decided they would hunker down in for the remainder of the summer season. Strings of curses and brutish grunts that came rumbling from deep within his chest, pleading gasps and whimpers that fell from your swollen, bitten lips. If anything, knowing they were listening only spurred him on—it didn’t hurt to remind them, especially the men with wandering eyes, that you were his special girl.

His good girl.

You certainly did your job, and you did it so, so well.

“Christ, sweetheart. M’so fuckin’ close—” Joel picks up speed, his hips snapping even harder, faster, the front of his thighs slapping against the backs of yours. Each thrust causes the bed’s rusted, iron headboard to slam violently against the wood panel wall.

You clutch fistfuls of the single, stale, yellowing sheet beneath you, each stroke he delivers knocking the wind out of your lungs, making it harder to breathe. He is so heavy on top of you, this big, broad, bulk of a man who makes you feel swallowed, smothered, and small. Joel takes up so much room inside of you, and it’s a wonder how you could possibly have any space left to spare.

It’s a fullness you can’t seem to get enough of.

It’s a craving, a need.

Worst of all, it’s slowly becoming a want.

“Daddy,” you choke out, fisting the sheet tighter, your skin stretching taut over your knuckles. Can the others also hear the squelch of your drenched cunt around his cock as it begs him for more?

“Fuck. You’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for me, baby,” Joel croons his praise. His hands abandon your hips and he hunches over you, his thrusts momentarily ceasing. He crushes his chest against your sweaty, quivering back and leans forward even further, bracing his large hands on either side of you. Then, his lips move to the shell of your ear and he speaks, his breath blazing hot on your skin. “Y’take me so well, honey. Y’take Daddy’s cock so fuckin’ well. This pretty little pussy was fuckin’ made for me. She was made jus’ for me—ain’t that right, angel?”

He’s right.

Oh, how you fucking hated that he was right.

It was made for him. Your cunt. Your body. You.

Every part of you was made for him, and only for him.

All you can do is nod dumbly in agreement.

“Say it,” Joel whispers his firm command. “Wanna hear you say it. Be a good girl and use your words. Say it, say this pussy is made for me.”

“Yes, Daddy,” you moan obediently, prompting him to grin against your ear. “My pussy is made for you, just—just for you. No one—no one else. Only you.” Could this really be the same voice that would break, grow hoarse from screaming for him to stop? The same voice that would beg and plead for him to set you free?

Jutting his hips forward, Joel buries himself to the hilt, eliciting a noise from you, something caught between a pained whimper and a contented sigh. His balls, heavy and full for you, rest on your clit, which is still sensitive to the touch after he’d spent a majority of the morning with his head buried in between your legs. Desiring yet another release, you try wriggling around beneath him in a silent plea for more. More, more, more.

Please, Daddy. More.

Joel’s grin widens. He places one of his hands on your soft lower belly, fingers dragging down the slope of it until he finds the slick swell of your seam between your legs where his girth splits you open. “Ready, baby?”

Nodding, you open your mouth to answer him, but the sound of your own groan cuts you off when his fingers firmly circle around your throbbing, swollen bud. “Oh,” you breathe, instantly sinking right into his touch. Your eyes screw shut tightly in pleasure, and you throw your head back onto his shoulder. The scruff of his beard is rough on your cheek, and it burns, the same way it had burned the tender flesh of your inner thighs.

His hips find their rhythm as you rub against his hand—you’re almost there. He knows this, you can tell by the chuckle that thunders in his chest and against your back. But you’re too busy chasing your pleasure to be embarrassed.

He’s made you a needy, greedy girl.

“Daddy,” you mewl, trying your hardest to move under him, to work your cunt up and down on his cock. “I’m gonna come—” You gasp, back arching as Joel strokes in and out, his fingers rubbing your clit with urgency.

Joel plants a sloppy, wet kiss on your cheek. “Give it to me, baby,” he grunts. “C’mon. Lemme feel her squeeze me.”

Feeling how close he is too, you try to hold on for just a little bit longer, at least long enough to finish with him, but Joel’s relentless, and you’re forced off of the ledge you’re both standing on first.

Crying out, your walls spasm around him, asking to be filled until he’s made a complete mess out of you, until white leaks, and it slowly dribbles down the insides of your trembling thighs.

“Fuckin’ Christ,” Joel rasps. He lifts himself off you and he pulls out, taking his throbbing cock in his hand. His chest heaves as he fists himself, the wet sound of your slick in his palm filling the room. “Down,” he grits, and you obey him, lowering down yourself on the mattress until you’re lying almost completely flat before him. He gives himself one final stroke just as you look over your shoulder at him, the gentle flutter of your eyelashes the last push he needs. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck—” Joel spills his load, shooting thick ropes of warm cum along the soft curve of your spine.

You rest your cheek on your folded arms, biting back a small sigh.

He’s left behind an ache—you feel painfully empty.

But it was Tess, who had been given the task of helping you track your menstrual cycle, that had given him the warning earlier that morning. “She’s ovulating. Don’t be a fucking idiot, Joel. Last thing we need is for her to—”

“Relax,” he’d gruffed in response. “I fuckin’ know.”

Spent, Joel hunches over you once more and he lightly kisses the top of your head before burying his nose into your hair. “Good girl,” he murmurs. Affection that once was unwelcome and unwanted, that once made you feel sick to your fucking stomach, now makes you feel something else entirely. You’re not quite sure what it is, only that it’s warm. Comforting. “Y’did so well for me, sweetheart. Always do.”

Your lips curl into a faint, tired smile he doesn’t see.

A while later, you find yourself perched on the bed with the sheet wrapped around you, quietly watching as he gets dressed. “Daddy?” you say tentatively as he drops into a nearby chair to pull on his boots.

“What is it, baby girl?”

“Do you—do you think we can go to the creek today?”

Joel finishes lacing his boots and looks up at you.

“I’d really like to wash up,” you admit, softly. That, and you would like to see the light of day. He’d boarded up the windows with slabs of wood—sometimes, if you’re lucky, you get some decent light seeping through the teeny gaps.

“Not today, honey. I’ve got some things to take care of. Supplies are low, we gotta do a run. Don’t have the time to take you.” He stands and picks up his rifle, slinging the strap of it over his shoulder. Noticing the crestfallen expression on your face, Joel’s eyes soften. He walks over and gingerly cups the side of your face in his palm. His thumb strokes your cheek. “Promise I’ll take you to the creek tomorrow, sweetheart. First thing. Alright?”

Nodding, your eyes fall to your hands in your lap.

“Okay.”

Joel kisses your forehead, then leaves the room.

He makes sure to lock the door from the outside, and you can’t help but wonder if he knows locking you in is no longer necessary.

“I can take her.”

Joel’s dark eyes remain focused on the state map laid out on the table in front of him. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about, Tess?” He sees her in his periphery, but is too busy figuring out the group’s best route to look her way.

“I heard her asking you to take her to the creek so she can bathe,” she tells him. “I can take her.”

Finally, his head snaps up and he turns to her. “What?”

Tess leans her hip against the table, crossing her arms over her chest. “You and Tommy can take the group, go and take care of what you have to take care of. I’ll stay behind and take her down to the creek,” she suggests casually, as if she’s not asking him to trust her with his most prized possession—the only damn thing on what was left of this fucking earth Joel Miller actually gives a shit about. “Once she’s washed up, I’ll bring her back to the cabin and put her back into the room. Easy.”

Joel stares at her, bewildered. “What makes you think I’d fuckin’ allow somethin’ like that?”

“Oh, come on.” She huffs and rolls her eyes. “Anytime I bitch about having to do something for that girl, you’re on my fucking case about it, and now that I’m offering to do something for her, you don’t wanna let me?”

He shakes his head and lowers his voice. “You’re talkin’ about takin’ her outside, Tess. Without me.”

“The creek’s just a mile away,” Tess reminds him. “I’m pretty sure I can handle getting her there and back with no trouble, Joel.” When he says nothing, she cocks her head to the side and scoffs. “What? You don’t trust me enough to take her under my wing for a couple hours?”

Joel’s lips pull into a tight line. 

Of course he does. Tess was his right hand woman, his second in command.

He trusted her more than his own fucking brother. She had never given him any reason not to, had never given him a reason to doubt her loyalty to him. No, his lack of trust has nothing to do with Tess—but everything to do with you. He doesn’t trust you. He will never trust you.

“What if she tries to—?” He can’t even say it.

“Tries to what?” She pauses. “Run?”

His throat goes dry and he gives her a subtle nod.

Joel Miller was a bad man who did bad things, but you were his good. You’ve brought back some meaning into this wretched life of his, gave him something that felt a lot like a sense of purpose. You were something for him to take care of, to keep safe and protect.

Tess raises an eyebrow at him. “You think I’d even give her the chance? Besides, the girl’s not that stupid, Joel. She knows better than to try anything. She knows she wouldn’t get very fucking far.”

“Tess—”

“I’m just trying to do something nice for her. Besides, I think it might do her some good to be in the company of someone else for once—the company of a woman.”

Joel peers at her, taking a minute to think it over in his mind before asking, “You’ll have her back in the room before I get back to the cabin?”

“Long before then,” she swears. “All in one piece.”

He hesitates. He’s still not sure.

It’s then that he remembers that disappointed look on your sweet, pretty little face. “Alright,” he relents with a deep sigh. “I trust you, Tess.”

It always feels a bit strange to be outside.

But being outside without Joel?

It feels even stranger.

When he’d walked back into the room and told you Tess was willing to take you to the creek, the news had taken you by complete surprise. When he said he was willing to let her take you, that you almost couldn’t believe. It hadn’t even sunk in until the three of you stood outside the cabin and he was kissing your forehead sweetly in a temporary goodbye before turning to Tess.

“Never take your eyes off her,” he’d instructed her.

“She’ll behave.” She had smiled at you as she pulled her pistol from the waistband of her jeans, the gleam of the silver barrel catching your eye. “Isn’t that right?”

Swallowing dryly, you had answered with a strained, “Of course.”

She’s the last fucking person you wanted to cross. She was almost as terrifying as Joel, if not more.

“Tess? W-Where are we going?” you ask as you trudge along behind her, hoping you don’t sound as winded as you feel. Although you had no way to keep track of the time, it felt like you’d been trekking for at least an hour. Your feet are starting to hurt in your shoes—old, worn, yellow canvas sneakers that certainly weren’t made for hiking. “I don’t remember the creek being this far from the cabin.”

Tess snorts. “Don’t tell me you’re tired already.”

“It’s just—we’ve been walking for a really long time.”

She glances over her shoulder at you. “Here I thought you would be a little fucking grateful to be out getting some fresh air,” she chuckles, shaking her head before turning her attention back to the path ahead.

“I am,” you squeak, stumbling over a fallen branch.

Silence falls over the both of you.

“We’re not going to the creek,” Tess finally speaks after a minute. “I’m taking you somewhere else. Somewhere even better. Just trust me, kid. Now hurry up.”

It takes another hour before you reach your destination, and you hear it before you can even see it, a humming sound that turns into buzzing the closer you get. Then, you feel it, a vibration in the rocks beneath your feet. “Is that a—?” Stepping around her, your mouth falls open in absolute awe at the sight before you.

The waterfall is nestled right in between the trees and surges over the rocky mountain, throwing up bubbles of spray as it plunges into the lake at the bottom, and from there, it foams into a thick, white lather at the base. On the bank, where you stand, you spot different types of vegetation you couldn’t identify even if you tried—all you know is that it’s green, and it’s beautiful.

“This is incredible,” you gasp.

“Way better than some little creek, huh?” Tess tucks her pistol into the waistband of her jeans and shrugs off her pack. She digs around in the front pocket and pulls out something wrapped in a piece of crumpled brown tissue paper. She hands it to you. “Here.”

“What’s this?”

“Well, if you’d fucking open it, you would know,” Tess rolls her eyes. “It’s my last piece of soap. It’s all yours.”

Her kind generosity comes as a surprise—usually, Tess wanted nothing to do with you. But you don’t question it, and you certainly don’t turn the rare luxury down.

“Thanks,” you say, shooting her a grateful look.

Tess nods towards the body of water. “Alright, then. Go on and get to it.”

You take the piece of soap out the tissue. The scent of lavender is faint, but still very much there. Joel will like the smell of it on your skin tonight, you think.

As you start to pull the strap of your cotton blue dress down your shoulder, you feel her gaze fixed intently on you. Heat rushes to your cheeks. “Uh, aren’t you going to turn around?”

“For fuck’s sake,” she scoffs. “I’ve got what you’ve got. Now hurry up, we don’t have all fucking day.”

Nodding, you peel off your dress and underwear, your face on fire as the older woman’s eyes slowly drag over your naked body. Carefully, you step off the bank and wade into the water. It’s so clear that you can count the pebbles underneath your feet.

Leaning against a nearby tree, Tess calls out, “You have ten minutes! And stay out of the waterfall! Last thing I need is for you to fucking drown.”

As she lights a cigarette, you can’t help but stare at her. Her features, though worn down after the hell she had been through trying to survive the post outbreak world, are beautiful. Big, dark green eyes, a perfect nose, and full, pouty lips. There’s never been a doubt in your mind that she and Joel have been involved with one another, and lately, the mere thought of anything between them made you uncomfortable.

It’s an odd sensation deep in your gut—jealousy?

But what were you jealous of? Her having had him first?

It shouldn’t matter to you, but it does. Insecurities you have never in your life felt before seep into your bones.

“Anyone ever tell you it’s fucking rude to stare?” Tess quips, raising an eyebrow at you. She shoves her lighter into the back pocket of her jeans.

Nervously, you sink lower into the water, nibbling the inside of your cheek. “Tess? Can I ask you something?”

“What could you possibly fucking want to ask me?”

You hesitate.

“How—how long have you known each other?”

“Who?” Tess plucks the cigarette from between her lips and flicks the ashes. “Me and Joel?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

She shrugs. “Don’t know. Six, seven years?”

“How did you two meet?”

“Long story that’s none of your fucking business.”

You ask your next question before you lose your nerve. “Have you two ever—?” Unsure of how to phrase it, you stop and clamp your mouth shut in instant regret.

“Have we ever what?” Tess studies your face, and she quickly realizes what you’re trying to ask her. “You’re seriously asking me if me and Joel have ever fucked?”

Biting your bottom lip, you glance down into the water at your feet. You honestly don’t expect her to answer, so when she does, you look back up at her in surprise.

“Yeah.” She takes a long drag from her cigarette, then adds, “Few times.”

Something unpleasant claws at your insides. “You two were together? Like a couple?”

“Something like that,” Tess mutters, flicking her ashes once more.

“What happened?”

She looks at you, pausing before answering, “You.”

Oh.

Before you can utter another word, Tess snaps, “Quit asking so many goddamn fucking questions and finish up washing. You’ve got eight minutes left.”

Not wanting to push your luck further than you already have, you do as she tells you in complete silence.

You lather up the soap in your hands, washing your hair first, and then your face and body, using your hands to scrub yourself as best as you can. Between the calming scent of the soap, the soothing sound of the waterfall, and the warm afternoon sun, you find yourself relaxing. You try to clear your mind, live in this peaceful moment which you very well may never get again, but your mind begins to wander.

And it wanders straight to Joel.

Closing your eyes, you can’t help but picture him here, standing behind you in the lake. You can almost feel his hands on you, long, thick fingers lathered with lavender soap, sliding down your body. His lips at your neck, he cups your breasts in his hands, rolling his thumbs over your hardened nipples until your head lulls, falling back onto his shoulder. Joel drags his hands further down, over your stomach, going lower and lower towards the place where you need them the most. “Yeah, baby?” he murmurs into your neck, dipping one of them between your legs until you are, quite literally, in the palm of his hand. “This where y’need me?”

Breathless, you respond, “It’s where I want you.”

Suddenly, your eyes snap open.

There is a wetness between your thighs, one that has nothing to do with the fact that you’re standing waist-deep in the middle of a lake. You shake those thoughts away and finish washing yourself.

“Time’s up,” Tess calls. She meets you on the bank with a dry rag. “Here.”

The rag doesn’t exactly cover much surface area, but you dry yourself off as best you can before tugging on your underwear and slipping on your dress. Just as you crouch down to slip your shoes on, she tosses her pack and it lands in front of you with a soft thud.

Confused, you glance up at her.

“There’s about a week’s worth of jerky in there. Longer, if you know how to ration,” Tess explains, calmly. “And a canteen for water. I also packed you a flashlight and a pocket knife. It’s not much, but—”

Frowning, you rise to your feet. “What are you talking about, Tess? What’s going on? Why are you giving me your pack?”

“Because I’m giving you a chance, kid.”

A feeling of dread pools in the pit of your stomach.

“A chance to what?”

“Run.”

Your heart stutters a beat. “Run?”

“He’ll come looking for you. You need to get as far away from here as possible. Run away, as far as you can, and don’t fucking look back.”

All you can do is stare at her in shocked silence.

“I can help you get a head start,” Tess offers, quietly. “I can show you which direction to go in and put you on a path leading to the closest state highway—”

“But what if I don’t want to run?”

Tess places her hands on her hips, and she exhales an incredulous laugh. “Jesus,” she breathes, shaking her head in pity. “He’s really got you fucking brainwashed, doesn’t he?”

You glare at her. “I am not brainwashed, Tess.”

“You’ve gotta be if you’re telling me you wanna go back to him.”

“Tess—”

She cuts you off. “He gave the order to raid your camp and kill your people,” she reminds you. “He fucking slit your father’s throat right in front of you, then took you as his prisoner. He made you his fucking sex slave.”

“He takes care of me! He feeds me, makes sure I have a bed to sleep in no matter where we are. He keeps me safe. He—he cares about me.” You will your voice not to tremble as you stand your ground. “No. I’m not running away, Tess. I want to go back.”

Tess sighs. “You’re really not gonna make this easy, are you?”

“Take me back,” you all but demand, your hands curled into the least menacing little fists she had ever seen in her life at your sides. “Take me back to the cabin—take me back to him, Tess. I mean it.”

Amused, she huffs through her nose. “Or else what?”

“You can’t make me run away, Tess.” As you take a step towards her, she reaches behind her and swiftly whips out her pistol from the waistband of her jeans. You halt, freezing in fear when she aims the barrel of the gun at your chest.

“Actually, I can,” she says, her finger hovering over the trigger. “So here’s how this is gonna go. I’m gonna walk away now. And if you even think about following me, or trying to find your way back to the group, you will die.” She tosses you a tiny, wry smile. “Believe it or not, I’m doing you a real big favor, kid. Problem is, he’s got you so fucked in the head that you can’t see it.”

“Tess, please,” you plead. “Don’t do this to me!”

She begins to back away. “Remember when you’d say that to him? How you’d beg him not to do those things to you every night? Beg him to let you go?”

“Please, just take me back to him!”

You start to follow her.

“You take one more fucking step and I’ll shoot you,” she threatens, her eyes darkening. “Don’t think I won’t.”

Tess keeps her pistol pointed at you until she slips into the trees and disappears, abandoning you in the middle of the forest.

He’s furious. Livid.

Joel paces back and forth on the porch.

“Where the fuck are they?”

The old, rotting wood that wraps all the way around the cabin creaks, and certain softer spots bend and buckle, threatening to give way beneath his heavy boots. Joel’s younger brother leans against the railing, which is just as fragile, an unlit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth.

“Christ, Joel. Can you fuckin’ relax?” Tommy grumbles, fishing around in his back pocket for his lighter. “You’re gonna bring the whole damn cabin down if ya don’t cut that shit out.” He sparks a flame and lights the filtered end of the cigarette. He takes a long drag, and exhales the smoke through his nose. “You’re gettin’ worked up over nothin’, brother.”

“S’almost sundown, and they’re still not fuckin’ back.” Joel shakes his head. “Fuckin’ knew I shouldn’t have let Tess take her. Somethin’ happened, Tommy. I just know it.” He lifts his shirt and reaches for his pistol, pulling it from the waistband of his jeans. “M’gonna head to the creek myself to find ‘em. Ain’t gonna sit around on my goddamn hands and wait for it to get fuckin’ dark.”

“She’s with Tess. M’sure the girl’s fine—” Tommy stops, his eyes widening slightly. “Well, hell.”

“What?”

Tommy jerks his chin over Joel’s shoulder before taking another slow, casual drag of his cigarette. He savors the last few seconds of peace before shit inevitably hits the fan and his brother unleashes his wrath on anything, or anyone, in his path.

Joel whips around and his stomach sinks, his blood ice in his veins when he sees Tess approaching the cabin. Alone.

Both his mind and body go numb. It’s a jarring shock to his nervous system, and it takes him a minute or two to fully process the fact that you’re not with her.

“Joel,” Tess says his name carefully as he descends the porch steps and walks towards her. “I need you to take a breath, alright?”

“Where—where is she?” His voice breaks, his weakness momentarily slipping through the cracks.

Not that Tess didn’t already know you were Joel Miller’s weakness, his soft white underbelly, the only vulnerable part of his hardened self that could be penetrated—you would have been his downfall. As much as she’d like to say she did what she did solely for your own good, she also did it for his, and for the sake of the group as a whole.

It needed to be done.

He stands in front of her, a ticking time bomb about to go off.

Prepared to face whatever consequences of the choice she had made, Tess tucks her gun away and sighs. “You need to take a breath—”

Joel snatches her arm, his fingers digging into the flesh above her elbow. His emotions hit him all at once.

Fear, worry, anger. It’s the third that takes precedence, and before Tess can utter another word, Joel yanks her forward. She crashes against his chest so hard that it knocks the wind out of her. “Where the fuck is she?” He leans down, his nostrils flaring as he brings their faces the closest they have been in almost a year.

“Joel, take a fucking breath—”

“Where. Is. She.” His grip on her arm tightens with each word he bites out through his teeth. He’s vaguely aware the others have piled out of the cabin, gathering on the porch to watch the altercation.

“She ran,” Tess explains, calmly. She doesn’t falter, not even as his fingers sink deeper into her skin, promising her painful bruises which will take days to fade away. If he decided to let her live. “She ran away, Joel. I turned my back for one fucking second and she was gone. She even took my fucking pack. I tried going after her, but it was no use. She was too fast.”

Behind him, Tommy snorts. “She outran you?”

Her eyes momentarily flicker to him. “Her knees are a lot younger than mine,” she replies, flatly.

“Which direction did she go in?” Joel demands. When Tess doesn’t immediately respond, he shouts, “Which fucking direction!”

Tess manages to snatch her arm out of his grasp. She glowers at him, hissing, “What the hell does it matter which direction she went? You won’t fucking find her.”

His eyes meet hers, and he sees it. Feels it.

She’s lying to him.

“Tess.” Joel’s voice drops dangerously low. He studies her face, his brows creasing with suspicion. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do shit, Joel. She fucking ran away.”

Without warning, Joel takes her by her throat. His other hand brings his pistol to her head, shoving the barrel of it against her temple. His nose touches hers. “Now, tell me why I have the feelin’ you’re not tellin’ me the whole truth?”

Tess lifts her chin. She searches his eyes, a sharp ache shooting through her. After everything, all the hell they had been through together—he would end her life, put a bullet in her because of you? Did she mean that little to him?

Or maybe she’d never meant anything to him at all?

She’s not sure which stings more.

“Because you’ve fucking deluded yourself into thinking that she willingly wants anything to do with you,” Tess finally answers. “That’s why.”

He ignores the burn of her scorching words.

“Where the fuck is she, Tess?”

“If she’s smart, she’s far away from here by now,” she hisses. “I did everyone a fucking favor, Joel. That girl is just another fucking mouth to feed. And what if you get her pregnant? That’ll be another one. Not to mention, a crying baby could draw unwanted attention and get us all killed. Ever thought about that? She’s not an asset to the group, she’s a fucking liability. Besides, I think I can speak for everyone when I say we’re all fucking tired of hearing you ra—”

Joel digs the barrel harder into her temple, his finger hovering over the trigger. “Listen to me. You’ve got ten seconds to tell me where she is, y’understand me?”

“Or what? You’ll blow my brains out?” Foolishly, Tess chooses to call his bluff despite not knowing for certain whether or not he’ll actually pull the trigger. “Go ahead, then. Kill me, Joel.”

His finger twitches over the trigger, but he doesn’t pull it. He can’t fucking pull it. Not on her. Not on Tess.

Still in his hands, she sags slightly in relief.

Swallowing harshly, Joel Miller lowers his gun and does something she’s never seen him do before. He begs.

“Tess, tell me where she is,” he whispers. His pleading is subtle, and only she can hear it. “Please—just fuckin’ tell me where my girl is.”

Tess stands her ground and says nothing.

Releasing her, Joel shoves her aside and with nothing but his gun in his hand, he sets off to find you.

“Ow, fuck!”

You gasp, quickly lifting your bare foot off the ground.

You’d stepped on something sharp—a stick, or maybe a rock?

In a desperate attempt to try and keep up with Tess’ tracks, you had stupidly left behind your shoes back at the waterfall. But the mere seconds you had spared by not stopping to put your shoes on hadn’t given you the advantage you thought it would. She had moved much too fast, and within minutes, you’d become helplessly, hopelessly lost. Every tree and every bush, they all look exactly the same, and for all you know, you’ve probably been going around in fucking circles for the past couple of hours in your search for her footprints in the dirt.

Sagging against the trunk of a nearby tree, you take a minute to try and catch your breath, to give your poor little feet a break from hiking over fallen branches and jagged stones.

Your head falls back, eyes gazing through the canopy of trees. Dusk has settled in, and nightfall is on its heels. It was foolish of you to leave behind your shoes, but even more so to leave behind the pack she had given you—in the pack were all the things meant to help you survive. Knife, flashlight, food.

Sure, you can survive a night out here in the wilderness without any of those things—but then what? Come dawn, what do you do? Where do you go? Do you just stumble around in the woods and hope for the best? Pray you’ll make it onto a highway with signs that will point you to a quarantine zone?

Hell, maybe you’re overestimating yourself. Maybe you wouldn’t survive long enough to worry about your next move. Howls in the distance remind you there’s wildlife out here, dangerous predators that come out after dark in search of their next meal. Or what about infected? It wasn’t unheard of for them to veer off the highway and lose themselves in the trees.

You recall your first few weeks in Joel Miller’s hands.

Escaping them was all you could ever think about, even though the chances of you surviving alone were slim to none, just like they are now. Never having been on your own, death would have been inevitable—but back then, in your darkest moments in captivity, you wished for it. You’d welcomed the idea of starving, freezing, or being torn apart limb from limb by an entire hoard of clickers. At least then, you’d die with your freedom.

Almost a year later, that wish has been granted.

You’re free.

You may very well die, but you would die free.

Closing your eyes, you think about Joel. His arms, that once held you down—held you still—as he did all those things to you without your consent, are arms your heart yearns to have wrapped around you, holding you close.

“Jesus,” you grit, a tear rolling down your cheek.

Maybe Tess had been right. Maybe he really does have you fucked in the head.

Joel was a monster. He had taken everything from you, including your innocence. He’d defiled you in ways you hadn’t known were possible. He was a terrible, terrible man.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you fed.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you warm.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you safe.

Another tear slides down the side of your face. What is fucking wrong with you?

You don’t know. But what you do know is, the thought of never seeing Joel again is somehow more terrifying to you than the thought of dying even the most brutal of deaths.

A loud rustling sound brings your train of thought to an immediate, sudden halt, and your eyes wrench open.

It’s darker now, but you manage to catch a movement in the shrubs, only mere feet in front of you. Panic flares in your chest, it rattles you to your very core, and even though every nerve in your body is urging you to move, you freeze, your back flush against the tree trunk. Your fingernails dig painfully into the bark as you watch the shrubs part down the middle, and a tall, hulking figure emerges with a heavy grunt.

At first, you think it’s just a figment of your imagination showing you what you wanted to see—a hallucination. Blinking furiously, you lightly shake your head, and then take another look at him. Your breath hitches when you realize it’s Joel.

He stares at you in the same manner, as if he’s trying to figure out if you’re real, or if his mind is playing a cruel, cruel trick on him. Feet cemented to the forest floor, he watches you take a small, tentative step towards him.

Once adamant that you’d never look him in the eye, you find your gaze locking directly with his as you carefully take another step closer. Then another, and another.

“Joel?” It’s the first time you’ve ever uttered his name.

He seems as taken aback hearing it as you are saying it.

“Joel.” It rolls off your tongue smoother, and with more ease the second time around.

It sparks a flame somewhere deep, deep inside of him, a fire that burns differently than those ignited by carnal desires.

No, this is something else entirely, and you feel it too.

“Baby?” he whispers hoarsely. “S’that really you?”

“Joel!” you cry, hurling yourself into his arms.

Joel’s gun falls from his hand and he curls them around you. Burying his nose into your hair, he inhales deeply. The scent of you, the feel of you—you’re fucking real.

Shuddering with sobs of relief, your arms wrap around his waist, and you cling to him as if you’re clinging onto dear, precious life itself.

“Hush now, s’alright,” Joel soothes, cradling the back of your head in one hand, while the rubs soft, calming circles into your back. “I’ve got you, honey. M’here.”

“I swear I didn’t want to run away,” you explain through your tears. “I begged her to take me back to you, Joel, I really did! But she left me out here—she said she would shoot me if I tried following her back. Please, you have to believe me, you just have to believe me!”

He squeezes you harder against his chest. “I do, baby. I do believe you,” he assures you. Pulling away, he takes a step backward and takes your face between his palms, peering at you in concern. “Y’hurt, sweetheart?”

“No,” you hiccup, curling your hands around his wrists. Your lower lip trembles. “I—I thought I’d never see you again. I was scared I wouldn’t,” you admit, softly.

Joel’s thumb wipes away a fresh tear. “M’here now,” he murmurs. “You’re with me, baby. You’re safe, alright?” As a late evening breeze passes through, he lets you go and shrugs out of his brown jacket. He goes to drape it around your shoulders, but you snatch it right out of his hands, then toss it aside.

Something in you snaps. You take fistfuls of his flannel, pulling him down towards you to do yet something else that takes you both by surprise—you initiate a kiss. You lean forward and press your lips to his, a little swipe of your tongue across his bottom lip as you clutch tighter at his shirt, holding him in place. Groaning, Joel opens his mouth more, his tongue brushing yours.

Liquid heat pools in your belly, and before you realize it, you’ve grown frantic, kissing him with fervor. Releasing his shirt, you slide your hands down his chest, over his stomach, lower and lower until you find his belt buckle. Desperate, you clumsily fumble with it, and that’s when Joel tears away from you, his breath hitching.

You’re begging before he can even say a word. “Please. I need you—I want you. Right now.”

You cup him through his jeans, and he exhales sharply.

“Fuck.” Without giving it a second thought, his hands reach for the straps of your dress, pushing them off of your shoulders. He roughly tugs at the material, letting it slip down your body until it falls around your feet. In a tangle of limbs and tongues, you both sink to the forest floor. Your hands brush his buckle, and he catches your wrists. “Not yet, baby girl. M’still in charge, alright?”

Sheepishly, you nod.

“Say it.” His command is firm, but somehow still gentle.

“You’re—you’re in charge.”

“Good girl.” Joel guides you onto your back. He’s over you in a second, swelling your lips with a hard, hungry kiss that leaves you dizzy and breathless. He moves his mouth, teeth scraping over your cheek and jaw, down to your neck where he nips at the tender, delicate flesh over your pulse point. Then, he bites his way over your collarbone and to your shoulder. “Bet she’s already wet for me,” he mumbles into your skin. “Ain’t she, baby?”

Pushing himself back onto his knees, he slides a finger over your clothed cunt, eliciting a small gasp from you. Hooking his fingers under the elastic waistband of your cotton underwear, he yanks the fabric down your legs. It catches on your foot, your wetness smearing against the inside of your ankle.

You’re drenched.

“C’mere,” Joel grunts, sliding his hands under your ass and pulling your hips over his thighs. He leans over you once more, your bare, throbbing cunt rubbing against the crotch of his jeans. He tuts lightly into your neck as you buck against him. “Such a fuckin’ needy little girl.”

Desperate, you try rolling your hips into his. “Joel.”

“Kinda like it when y’say my name.” He starts making his way down the length of your body. “Think I’ll like it even better when you’re screamin’ it. Won’t I, baby?”

Your stomach tightens as he nibbles his way down your neck again, teeth scraping over your clavicle and down your chest to your heaving tits. Taking one in his hand, the other goes into his mouth—his tongue is scorching hot over your nipple. He licks the pebbled flesh, sucks it and bites it while he rolls the other peak in between his thumb and index finger. “Oh fuck,” you gasp.

Releasing your breast with a wet pop, Joel sinks further down your body. He plants hot, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your tummy, leaving behind a trail of fire in their wake. He stops over your mound and hovers for a fraction of a second before pressing his nose into the silky soft curls there. Inhaling deeply, Joel picks up the subtle, herbal scent of the lavender soap you had washed yourself with. “Fuck, y’smell so fuckin’ good.”

He pushes your thighs open, pinning one to the ground with his hand while the other goes over his shoulder. Your foot slides down his back, toes curling despite the fact that he hasn’t even reached the spot where you’re aching to have him most. Heart thundering, your blood rushes, roaring in your ears.

Joel turns his head, his lips brushing your inner thigh in another kiss. “S’this where y’want me, honey?” he asks you. Goosebumps erupt over every inch of your skin as he draws closer, his breath like steam on your core. He glances up at you, his cock twitching against his zipper at the sight of you laying naked before him on the floor of the forest. Willing. Wanting. “Hm? Right here?”

“Yes,” you breathe. “Please, Joel.”

Thankfully, you only have to ask him once, and then his face is buried between your legs, and he is giving you what you want.

“Fuck!” you cry out. Back arching, your head tilts back until the crown of it meets the ground, leaves and twigs finding their way into your clean hair.

Joel’s tongue flattens over your cunt in a broad stroke, then dips between your folds, collecting your slick with a harsh groan, one that sends a bone-rattling vibration throughout your entire body, from head to curled toes. His mouth opens wider—a starving, greedy man trying to eat you whole. Sliding his tongue over your clit, Joel seals his lips around it, sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves until it swells in his mouth.

High-pitched little cries and whines spill from your lips. Your hands shoot down, fingers tangling themselves in his dark, graying curls, eliciting a grunt from him when you tug at his roots. “Joel, fuck,” you choke, your nails scraping against his scalp. He slurps and swallows your wetness, the sounds drowning out those of the night—the chirping of crickets, the croaking of frogs, the soft hooting of owls are washed away until all you can hear is him devouring your pussy.

Your body starts to tremble, and you know you’re close. Joel does, too. He feels your thighs twitch, threatening to close around his head, but he wrenches them further apart with a muffled but firm, “No.” He drapes his arm over your pelvis, his large hand splayed on your belly.

Relentless, he sucks your clit, gliding his tongue over it, again and again until the muscles in your lower tummy tighten and you burst at the seams, unraveling into his mouth. Warm slick gushes out of you, a sweet mess he licks clean. You choke back sobs of pleasure, your body tensing, vision blurring with every stroke of his tongue, each scrape of his teeth over your clit.

Joel lifts himself onto his knees with a grunt and gazes down at you—his good girl, sweet and pliant and ready to be fucked full of his cock. His hands slide his belt out of its brass buckle, eyes still trained on you as he pops the button of his jeans and yanks down his zipper.

Your mind is fuzzy, still syrupy and dripping—it doesn’t fully register what he’s doing, not until he climbs back over you and you his hard cock brushes your thigh, hot velvet that sears the inside of your leg. Precum smears your flesh.

“Y’feel that? Feel what you fuckin’ do to me?”

“Joel.” Hands shaking, you reach for the buttons of his shirt, desperate to feel more of his skin on yours. You whine when he catches both of your wrists in one hand, pinning them above your head. “Your clothes—”

“Stay on.” Ducking his head, he nips at your pulse point and mumbles, “Tell me what y’want, pretty girl.”

Joel shifts over you, his cock now resting on your lower belly, thick and heavy and leaking.

You squirm under him, hips coming off the ground, that hollow thing inside of you begging to be filled.

“Use your words, sweetheart. Tell me what y’want.”

“You, Joel—I want you. Please, please, please—”

He hushes you.

“I’ve you, baby. I’ve got you,” Joel promises. He wraps his other hand around himself, dragging the head of his cock along the seam of your puffy folds, up and down—he elicits a ragged little gasp from you when he grazes your clit and his fingers tighten around your wrists. He coats himself in your slippery slick until he’s glistening with it, and then he gives a slow roll of his hips, working himself into you.

Your mouth falls open. No words come out, no pleas for more—only jerky breaths, pathetic little pants for air as you take it.

Joel’s cock throbs, pulses like a heartbeat as your cunt welcomes him home. He presses his forehead to yours. “She’s always so fuckin’ sweet to me.” His voice is low, rough gravel. His eyes meet yours in the dark blue glow of the forest, and he savors the last moments of seeing your pretty face before the last traces of dusk are gone. Brushing his lips to the corner of your mouth, he feeds you his cock inch by inch, murmuring, “That’s it, honey. Good fuckin’ girl.”

You melt around him at his praise.

Releasing your wrists, he moves his hand, placing it on the crown of your head. “Ain’t ever lettin’ you out of my sight again,” he swears. “Alright? Never gonna be apart from me again, baby girl. Never. Y’understand me?” He curls his other hand firmly around your jaw, his fingers sticky with you and him. “Do you understand me?”

“Never,” you repeat, softly.

Joel kisses you, deep and slow, almost sweet. Tender. He breaks away, his lips hovering right over yours as he pushes his hips forward, bottoming out inside you.

Moaning, your hands grasp at his shoulders. Your legs widen further to accommodate the breadth of his hips.

“There y’go.” Joel presses deep within, until your belly feels hot and full. “That’s it, baby. Good girl,” he coos, drawing his hips back, then rolling them right back into you. He takes one of your ankles and tosses it over his shoulder, giving himself a better angle to fuck into you.

A loud cry tears from the back of your throat. “Joel!”

He grins in the darkness. He knew he’d like hearing you scream his name.

Joel’s hand settles on your leg that’s over his shoulder, your thigh already shaking. “Y’gonna be a real good girl n’ give me another one?”

You try to answer him, you really do, but your mind falls further and further away.

His fingertips sink into your thigh. He strokes in and out of you, never retreating more than inches at a time so he keeps you full. Stuffed. “Christ. Takin’ it so fuckin’ well,” he croons, moving your leg off of his shoulder so they are both wrapped around his waist. Hunching over you, he bears down hard, using most of his weight. He almost chuckles at the little oof that puffs out of you.

Rocks and twigs dig painfully into your back, but all you can do is feel him. How close he is.

You’re right there with him.

“Joel—fuck, I’m gonna co—”

You’re cut off by your own sharp gasp.

“That’s it. C’mon, honey.” Joel slips his hand between your thighs, his fingers firmly rubbing your clit. “C’mon, baby. Be a good girl and come on my cock—”

It rips through you like an electric current, a shockwave that has you clawing at the dirt. You come crying Joel’s name, crumbling into a whimpering, quivering mess.

Within seconds, he’s swept away by the same tide.

“Baby,” he groans, dropping his head into the hollow of your neck. He goes still and lets your tight cunt clench at him, gripping his cock as it throbs, pulses, empties into you. After a minute, he brushes a kiss to your neck before mumbling, “My sweet girl.”

Joel makes no move to pull out of you. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, your soiled fingers toy with the soft curls at the nape of his neck, shattered breaths slowing and piecing back together.

You gaze up through the trees at the night sky, feeling the safest you’ve ever been with the earth at your back and your whole world on top of you, his cock buried in your cunt.

Tess is right. Joel Miller really does have you fucked in the head.

You’re certain of it when you make the realization with a smile.

divider credit to @/saradika 🖤

for fic notifications please follow @joelsgreysupdates!

[lxkeee]

Hi! Is it okay if I ask for Lucifer seeing female sinner!reader when she is breaking down, panicking from both insecurity and overthinking (generally having trouble breathing and not being able to stop herself from crying at all) and being there with her in general?

Like, what would he say, how would he react, how would he comfort her, stuff like that!

notes: I was debating whether this should be platonic or romantic lmao.

warnings: panic attack.

edit: I fucked up, it said sinner and I accidentally made reader a fallen angel here lmfao omgg 😭

Lucifer is trying his best, even though he dissociates a lot and doesn't realize how much time has passed, he spends most of his time in his room just making rubber ducks or doing paperworks. After he and Lilith split, he had fallen more into depression and began to slowly lose his will to do his duties, hell would've crumbled apart if it weren't for his closest friend who decided to help him run his kingdom. [Y/n] fell from grace at the same time as him as she was an accomplice, Lucifer begged for her forgiveness years ago—apologizing for bringing her to this mess but the woman just chuckled and told him it was fine, she believed in his intentions and it was her decision to follow him.

Thinking about her, he realizes he barely saw her, let alone he forgot when was the last time he saw her. A couple of months ago? He barely saw her as she took it upon herself to lead as he isn't fit to lead as of lately, she is his right hand man afterall.

On top of that, with her taking on his duties, she also made sure to check up on him occasionally to make sure he is still functioning.

“I really need to show her my appreciation... She's doing so much for me...” Lucifer mutters as he lies on his bed, a few rubber ducks on his mattress. His recent memory of her is when she came back to check up on him and he noticed how tired she looked.

“Luci, how are you doing these days? Do you feel slightly better?” the door in his bedroom opened as she entered his room, he was making a new rubber duck and her voice cut off his concentration. He turned around to face her and gave her a grin, “I have been feeling slightly better, [n/n]! Time off seems to be doing me some good.” he says with a smile but his smile faded a little as he noticed how her eyes looked so... Tired... The usual sparkle gone and her once vibrant orbs now dull. Worry fills his chest as he hesitantly asks her, “Are you okay...?” he spoke softly and her eyes widened before giving him a closed eyed smile and when she opened her eyes again, that sparkle was there once more.

“Of course, don't worry too much about me. You should worry about yourself first.” [y/n] says softly with a smile and he just nodded, deciding not to push her boundaries. “If you say so...” he says softly and the two hanged out that afternoon before she decided to take a rest in her room—as she had a room in the palace as she did help in making it.

Lucifer sighs once more, he's worried for her. She's always working so hard. He grabbed a nearby rubber duck and held it near his face, “Mr. Waddles, I'm such a bad friend... She keeps on checking up on me but I forget to check up on her...” he says softly. He's afraid to admit it out loud, but he always loves her. Sure, he loves Lilith with all his heart but it was [y/n] who's his first love but he was too scared to confess and then he met Lilith and he fell inlove with her. Though, after his separation with Lilith, it feels like his love for [y/n] is returning but he doesn't want to think too much about it and wants it to develop properly. After all, he doesn't want to make her a rebound. That's why he wanted to fix himself first and give himself time.

He sighs to himself once more before eventually getting out of bed, he needs to get a drink. He got out of his room, passing by many rooms. He passes by [y/n]'s room. His body stopped as he heard soft sobs. It was coming from [y/n]'s room.

A few moments ago.

[y/n] angrily storms back into the castle, tears running down her cheeks. She just finished a meeting with Adam at the heaven's embassy building. It was just a meeting about hell's population. The meeting would've been bearable if it weren't for Adam's misogynistic attitude towards her. How she isn't fit to lead and how egoistical she is for putting herself in Lucifer's shoes. The major stabbing words she received is when Adam told her how pathetic she is for doing this to a man who doesn't even bat an eye on her. “You're really doing all of this for a dick you can't suck.” is what Adam said to her condescendingly with a mocking laughter. She doesn't even think of Lucifer in lustful thoughts, she only sees him in romantic scenarios, going on dates, holding hands, being there for each other.

It truly reminded her that Lucifer wouldn't be hers.

She's grateful that she was able to keep it together for the rest of the meeting but when she left, she couldn't hold back anymore and quickly teleported to her room.

She couldn't think properly. Chest heaving up and down irregularly. Barely catching her breath as she covers her mouth with her hands to muffle her cries so that Lucifer won't hear her. Though, a few sobs escaped here and there.

She felt so pathetic, so tired. Voices of other demon's comments on her work are starting to repeat in her head. She was only upset by the comments made by Adam but now, she's crying for everything as all the pain and exhaustion she was bottling up has now exploded.

She curls up in her bed, wanting to be as small as possible. Hair messy, dark circles around her eyes. Dull [e/c] orbs. Shining no more as she was exposed more and more to the cruelty of mankind.

She can only have herself to blame, she wanted to be here with him. A speck of light in darkness, slowly getting dull.

Lucifer hesitantly holds his hand towards the door handle to [y/n]'s room, he knows she's crying in there and each second his heart slowly breaks for her. He is debating whether to leave her alone or go inside and comfort her.

“For fucks sake, I need to go there and be there for her.” he mutters before sighing and then taking a deep breath. Curling up his fingers and then knocked on her door.

“[y/n]? It's me... Can I come in...?” He asked softly and he could hear the hitch of her voice when she heard him.

A brief moment, silence.

“Yes... You can... Come in...” she said behind the door, her voice audibly breaking and Lucifer was close to crying just by hearing how broken she sounded. But this isn't about him, so he composed himself and opened the door.

A truly heartbreaking sight to see, his best friend sitting at the corner of her bed and room, knees pressed against her chest as she tries to look as composed while her breathing is uneven. Eyes red and puffy, dark circles surrounding it. “Oh... [N/n], What's wrong...?” he asked softly and that question alone was enough to make her burst into tears. Lucifer panicked and quickly closed the door and then went to her side. Putting an arm around her. “Sshh... It's okay, I'm here... You can talk to me...” he says softly and [y/n] just sobbed and continues to hyperventilate. He remembers how she used to calm him down when he was in this position. “[y/n]... Look at me...” he says, voice gentle and [y/n] hiccups but hesitantly looked at him. “Can you try to focus on your breathing for me? Follow my breathing... Can you do that...?” he asked softly and she weakly nodded. “Okay... Take a deep breath and inhale...” he says, doing the action and gently urging her to follow. [Y/n] trying her best to match his slow and deep breathing. “Now... Exhale...” he says softly and exhaled, [y/n] following shortly after him. “You're doing great sweetheart. Now inhale...” he says, “Exhale...”

Once Lucifer notices she's beginning to calm down, he needs to move into the next step. “Focus on your breathing sweetheart, can you identify five things you can see for me...?” he asked softly and she nodded weakly, still trying to focus on her breathing while looking at her surroundings.

“The desk...”

“The window...”

“My pillows...”

“The hanged picture of us...”

“You...”

Lucifer smiled, his other hand gently playing with her hair, “You're doing so good sweetheart, now.. Can you tell me four things you can touch for me please?” he asked softly and she nodded.

“Your suit...”

“My blanket...”

“My pillows...”

“Your hand...”

She says softly, her breathing slowly going back to normal and he nodded, proud of her. “Very good, now, can you name me three things you can hear?” he asked softly and she nodded.

“Your heartbeat...”

“Your voice...”

“And your hand rubbing against my arm...”

Lucifer was trying hard not to blush and quickly calmed himself, “You're doing so well, can you tell me two things you can smell...? Can you do it for me?” he asked softly, grabbing a nearby tissue and gently wiped the tears off her cheeks, “Your perfume... And the smell of apples...” she answers.

“Now... Can you answer one more question for me?” he asked her softly and she nodded, “Can you name me one thing you can taste...?” he asked softly and she nodded, “my... Tears...” she answers, letting out a small chuckle... Occasionally hiccuping but she significantly calmed down. “Now there's my girl, are you feeling better now...?” he asked softly and she nodded, feeling exhausted after crying so much. “Do you want to talk about it...?” he asked and she shook her head and he nodded, “Alright, how about we rest for a bit? I am sure you have been very tired.” he says and allows [y/n] to get into a comfortable position to lie down on her bed. He was surprised when she held his hand, looking at him as if asking him to join her. He sighs before smiling softly and decided to take the extra space of her bed and cuddled her with her the little spoon. Both of them could feel their hearts beating erratically but decided to calm down as this isn't the time and this isn't the first time they cuddled in bed. [Y/n] was so tired that after calming herself, she quickly fell asleep on his arms.

Lucifer noticed her to have fallen asleep so quickly and he just smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Sleep well, [y/n]. You deserve it.”

[babygirl-riley]

Daylight

Simon thinks about Reader and how his feelings are conflicted between wanting to hate her or to care for her.

Warnings: angst, swearing

simon x reader guide

simon x reader fluff/angst list

Simon sat in his flat thinking about the last mission he was sent on. It was a tough one, was suppose to be an easy tag and grab but instead, a rat in the mix made sure the enemy knew. Ghost, Soap, and you were to retrieve the person and go, however once the truck pulled right up to the extraction point. That’s when it turned the gun fire, ducking, running, and of course failing.

It was Simon’s fault, at least he promoted himself that it was. Once shit hit the fan he made sure you were okay. Made sure you were shielded somewhere, in his sights, and gave orders to where you wouldn’t get too much in harms way. He knew you could take care of yourself but bloody fucking hell…ever since you came along into his life he made it his duty to make sure you’ll live.

Your beautiful eyes when they first came through the doors. You are confident, held yourself together, hell, fucking followed orders. You seemed perfect in his eyes. Too perfect for him. You were drawn to him, god only knows why. He knows you can’t be near him, it would blacken your soul like his is. So why did he want you so bad?

You would laugh at his horrible army jokes or dad jokes. You would stare right back at him when you both talked. You made sure that both you and him would be next to each other during debriefings, going to destinations, or hell even in the mess hall. You and him were inseparable to the point Johnny made a sly comment.

“Ya know she digs ya?” Soap said watching as you waltz over to them.

Ghost rolled his eyes. “Buzz off.” Ghost couldn’t shake that feeling, the butterflies, the drop of excitement running through him. Her liking him? How? Good.

Simon held his glass of bourbon in his hand before sipping it. He can’t care for her, it’s starting to get to him. He would do anything for you, drop anything, jump when you say jump. Anything. At the same time he wants to stay completely away from you like you were a new plague.

Simon tried that, right after both of you fucked. When you fell asleep he left, ignored you, made sure you knew he didn’t want anything to do with you. Then you cornered him. Yelled at him for being such a coward. That made him fall harder, you weren’t afraid to put a man in place. Well it did piss him right the fuck off but after thoughts it made him hard. So he went to your quarters and did some sort of make up sex.

He still remembers your whimpers, cries, moans for him. What Simon loved the most was when you bit down hard enough to leave a mark for a couple of days. Simon even considered to get it tatted on. Never after having sex with someone if they left marks on him he wanted it there forever. It scared him.

Keeping the wall called Ghost up for no one to see Simon, was getting more and more difficult when you were around. Simon is a weakness that is what he would think. A broken man. A man that no one could or should love. That is where Ghost comes in, making sure he is the biggest bastard. Scary. Not to fuck with.

It’s like when you came around he was more kind, soft. You are too pure to be around him. Too kind. Too pure. It would be like putting black ink on a white paper, smearing it so it becomes dark. He couldn’t do that. Not to an angel like you.

“Lt,” His heart stopped as he heard the angelic voice. “I need a reminder on where I am suppose to be.”

He knew that she was shocked that her and him were going on a duo mission together. Simon AVOIDED her like the plague for about 5 months, since she started. You didn’t mind no, you weren’t scared of him but it made you irritated that the man doesn’t know you and avoids you. Soooo why not avoid him?

“With me Sargent.” He blankly said looking down at your doe eyes.

“Good,” You said with a smirk. God that that smirk did in his stomach. He glared out of curiosity. You did this all the time, the moment he gave you attention you would make a remark. A glance. A smile. Even when he barely wanted you around. That’s what drew him in. “I will pack my things and we can head out.”

He watched you walk away, the way you hips swayed. How her hair swayed. God he fucking hated you (he didn’t really hated the feelings he felt). He wished that he didn’t have to sit here smoking all his cigarettes, chewing his nails, and adjust his pants when he would think of you. Especially adjusting his pants, made him feel like a bloody child, a creep.

His mind would be plagued each night thinking about how you would look underneath him. Or even in a night breeze walking with you hand and hand. Ghost hated it but Simon. Simon is the one who would drop anything for you. It killed him. He wanted to but he has no one that he would drop his walls for. Hell even Price knows small details.

“Fuck.” He whispered lighting a cigarette. He brought it to his mouth inhaling the cancerous paper.

You laughed actually laughed, he told the most common dad military joke. Ghost was confused when you laughed hard, you shook your head. “Jesus Ghost never would have thought that you would be a comedian.”

Ghost huffed. “You think am just an all killin’ machine?”

You stopped walking making him stop as well. “No that’s not what I meant,” You said little panicking before he could stop you, you continued. “I think you are more than just a killing machine.”

Ghost just looked down at you didn’t know what to say. You just placed your hand on his cheek and smiled. “Y/n,” He grabbed your hand and holding it. “We have a team meeting to be at.”

Simon sighed, her face froze, it was engraved into his mind. Her half “fake” smile she gives when rookies ask dumb questions but she answers them. Because she is an angel. A light. Simon didn’t want his past to come back and darken her light. Of all the things he has and been doing. Simon sighed inhaling on his cigarette.

“LT,” Her voice rang through his ears. He turns to her she is smiling handing her a bloody knife. “Believe this is yours?”

He grunted taking it nicely from you, even in the middle of battle you looked beautiful. Ghost would of course concentrate at the task of hand but when the mission would be “dull,” he would look over at you. Make sure you were safe and not injured. Then notice how your hair would fall loose from a ponytail/braid. How when you killed a man it would be graceful.

After missions you would have a cigarette with him. Sit there talking about some family stories or banter back and forth. He wanted you so bad, watching how your lips would wrap the cigarette. Your laugh. Your voice. Ghost could listen to you all day and night.

Simon stood up grabbing the phone that ran throughout his flat. “Ghost we need ya.” The familiar gruff voice that belongs to his Captain.

“On my way.” He replied huffing the last bit of cigarette, hanging up.

Simon sighed looking down on his phone. He inhaled deeply thinking about seeing you again. Watching your moves. And not being able to have that light full out the darkness he so craves.

[redrandomposts]

hi, I think the little mermaid au idea is so cool and I really like the concept! How does Mizi feel when she sees what left of Ivan and figures it out? I feel like since they are very close she would be very sad and mad at herself :(

Maybe Ivan can come back and everyone can be happy! :D

-🍎

hi 🍎!!!

mizi wouldn't notice, actually, because sua didn't tell her (or let ivan tell her) what would happen to ivan if he failed. sua's just like that. and... idk, man, she's pretty sheltered. too much to even make conclusions based on death, because she barely knows of it. she only feels something is wrong when she has to go back to the ocean without catching a glimpse of her best friend.

(she doesn't notice the letters, either. perhaps a passing servant had dropped them on accident, or it was specifically left for till)

but i can one up you!!! hahaha!

...it's kinda implied that till actually falls in(sane) love with ivan. why else would ivan would have his own entire wing near till's personal office, with jewelry and all kinds of clothes at his disposal?

ivan doesn't notice this because he was a prince and thought that ah yes, fancy lobster dishes and clothing made of the finest silks... this must be how everyone is treated. (guys ive grown fond of ivan and long black hair??? i knew what i was doing)

i have ideas for a HE, but for now...um, ok, here u are, something u did not ask for (till's pov (might be ooc))

===

it started at the beach. till ran away from his duties yet again (he was six! who entrusted him (of all people, nonetheless) with duties?!), this time heading to the beach. he's never been to the ocean so closely before, and couldn't help to just... get closer.

he never learned to swim before, as he was swamped by all other tasks that he despised. oversight on everyone's part. he was swept away by the waves, hopelessly fighting against the salty water. the salt burned his eyes, making him close them, but when arms (...smaller than him, what the hell!) wrapped around him he tried to open them.

pale skin, a pearl breaking through the water's surface. red and black scales that reflected the light so beautifully, as if sunset had just reached its end. jewels and silver chains that slowly fell back to place when displaced.

...skin? scales? what was going on?! is he like those... those addicts his mentor talked about?!

he closed his eyes. this was not happening. this was not happening.

when he opened his eyes, he caught sight of an angel from the sea. her face was beautiful, her pink hair, wet, fell like waterfalls. she had... blue scales, slightly tan skin, with gold decorating her. (what about the black and red sunset scales? the pale as pearl skin? the silver that reflected the sunlight like the moon did?) she was the most beautiful person he's ever seen in life.

a week later, he couldn't help but sketch the angel that had the wrong colors again and again by the beach. perhaps, if he got her attention again, they could become friends and eventually the king and queen of his kingdom! in his fervent imagination, he didn't notice the pearl until it slipped into the waters again, far from his grasp.

annoyingly, this repeated for weeks on end. over a year (or way more) of weeks, actually! the only reason till didn't think this was a weird doesn't-actually-exist image were the odd things he'd find when he was done sketching. fish, crabs, actual pearls, clams, a shattered but ornately-made hand mirror, a locket without anything inside, dadada...

and when he went into the library to find out (the first time he's stepped into there! everyone weeps in joy!), all he found were books about creatures in the sea that love music and make others love music.

music? he could do that! he brought a guitar out to the beach, and somehow got so lost in the music he forgot to check for the pearl! when he looked again, all he saw was black slipping underneath the waves again. what the fuck?!

each time he'd try this, it'd have the same result. he'd be so engrossed in his music and making songs that he'd barely, if at all, catch black hair and silver jewelry slipping into the ocean before he could clearly see it.

and he had a solution! if he came at night, then he'd surely catch the pearl before it could see him!

...listening to the singing, till once again missed his chance. pearl-pale skin reflected the moonlight, the ocean grew quiet to listen to the music, birds and fish crowded the rock the pearl sits on. black hair blended into the night, and the silver took and stored the moonlight, reflecting it to mimic the moon the best anything ever could.

and when it stopped, till was too dazed to react! he had to watch helplessly as it slipped into the ocean once again.

this continued for years. till was driven insane. a face he's never once seen, yet one he kept on chasing and chasing. he bought silver jewelry, imagining that one day, he could lay it out and trap the pearl once and for all. he bought various clothes, both men and women's, so one day he could cover the pearl and keep it for his eyes only.

it turns out he didnt need it, though! on his sixteenth birthday, the pearl was in the sand, a coat on his body, covering his thighs from the sun. long black hair splayed out, framing the face he's gone insane over trying to catch a glimpse of.

till decided to put him in the unused wing, the one right next to his. he carefully washed him, combing his hair and dressing him up to the neck. this could be a foretelling of his future, maybe. it's a much brighter future than he could have ever imagined.

ice-cold water, the kind that only appeared when the snow fell and the nights grew longer than day, poured on him when letters slipped through his door, sea foam decorating the parchment.

[thisonesock]

Drowning in Shadows

Here is the promised One-Shot. I have to mention once again that a certain part of the dialog is not mine, but comes from a game. More on that at the end. Until then, have fun and hunting season is open for grammar or spelling mistakes. (This is the first time I'm writing in English, so show mercy)

Lucifer was miserable, to put it mildly.

He felt like he was in an endless loop, spiraling deeper and deeper into something, that felt like a never-ending void. Like a black, silky goo, that wrapped itself around his mind and soul, if he even had one left. It shifted his sight and the way he saw the world around him. What once was a bright world full of color, life and opportunities was now nothing more than a greyish, cold place, that wasn’t worth getting up for.

Could anyone blame him, that he rather chooses to lock himself away? That he tried to find something, that might light his heart again? Even if its just a spark, it would be more than enough. He knew, he could do it. He just doesn’t know how long he could still hold on to that fleeting thought.

If he wouldn’t have his family… Lucifer doubted, that he would be still here. The urge, to just end all of this sometimes became so strong and irresistible, that he often wonders, how he overcame it. And it wasn’t that he particularly wanted to die. He just wished the pain, the loathing, the fear to end. He wanted to breath. He wanted to live. He didn’t want to fight with the thoughts in his mind. He wanted to see the world, the way he saw it once. He wanted to be full of passion again, full of cheer and jumping into a day, full of energy, like he had done it so often.

Sometimes he can do that. Sometimes its easier to get out of bed. On some days he was able to prep his wife’s cheeks with endless kisses and twirl his little girl in his arms, just listening to her happy laughing. How he adored it, when she smiled, how he loved it, when his wife watched him lovingly…

The more it hurt, that in the last weeks – months – it had become less and less.

Charlie didn’t know it better. She didn’t understand what was wrong with her daddy. That was main reason why he put on a brave face and smiled at her, when he wanted to cry and curse the whole world to hell, before remembering, that he was in that place anyway.

But Lilith. Lilith did know what was wrong with him. And it hurt.

It just fucking hurt to the point, that it became numb and turned to a part of that endless void. He couldn’t even blame his wife. Who wouldn’t be disgusted with the person, that was just a mere shadow of himself? He wasn’t the man, that she fell in love with once. He wasn’t the beautiful angel, that promised to show her all the horizons, that they wanted to explore. Instead, he became a demonic beast, cast away from its home, deep into the darkest pits of the world for something so meager like free will. For the opportunity to show humanity more, than the limits of their view. And he had dragged her with him. Away from the light. Away from the warmth and comfort of Edens lap. Sure, she won’t have to deal with that bastard Adam… but Lucifer doubted that this was the alternative that she had hoped for.

And that she showed him. Less and less became the affection, that she showed him. Less and less became the moments, where they talked and shared time together. If it wouldn’t be for their royal duties, they wouldn’t probably meet at all. The Public hadn’t noticed yet, but how long would that take? Maybe a month? If even?

But the worst part was, that his dear wife took Charlie with her. Lucifer had understood her first explanations, why she held their daughter away from him.

“I don’t want her to see you like this, my love.”, Lilith had whispered. “You understand that right?”

It had hurt. The words, even said gently and full of care, right in his face. But still he just had answered: “Yes. Tell her that I will make her a new special toy, yes? As an apology?”

That apology – much to his dismay – never happened. Not only because he barely saw his child, but also because no matter how hard he tried… nothing seemed perfect enough. He wanted to build Charlie a Music Box in form of a carousel, but it wasn’t good enough.

He wasn’t good enough. And that thought – that fact – breaks him. Because he knew, he can do it. He knew, he was able to. He had done it so many times before, creating the most beautiful dreams out of thin air and know? He could spend as much time as he wanted. He could polish every detail as long as he wanted. It wasn’t enough. Every time the product was nothing but a dull, gray and empty attempt to gain something, that he had lost a long, long time ago.

So, he could do nothing, but sitting miserably in his workshop, starring at the many attempts and the many sketches he had done, just to throw them away in fits of rage and despair. How often had he pulled at his hair, in hope the pain would numb the pain inside him? How often had he thrown the started project into a corner, because a screw wasn’t at the place he wanted, just to pick it up again and feeling sorry, for destroying the progress he had made?

Lucifer didn’t know, how long he sat there, staring at the failed music box, until he heard a sound. A small clicking and the groan of the heavy door opening behind him. He could smell the sweet scent of roses and lavender and could hear her featherlight steps.

“Charlie had asked, why you didn’t say Goodnight to her?” Her calm voice disrupted the thick silence in the room and Lucifer turned around, to meet her cool and distant eyes. Her dark violet dress felt perfect over her curves and for a moment he felt awful for his appearance. His shirt was wrinkled, his hair spread in all directions, and he didn’t even want to know how deep the bags under his eyes were. The angel’s eyes widened in surprise as he glanced on the small clock on his desk. Past 9. Charlie slept for already one hour.

“Shit.”, he mumbled, running his hand through his hair. “Sorry. I didn’t realize how late it is. I guess, I won’t be able to say it now, right?”, he said with an uncomfortable chuckle.

“No, I guess you don’t.”, Lilith said, her eyes watching him carefully. “When exactly do you think to spend time with your child? Or do you plan to stay in here for the rest of eternity?”

“Excuse me?” – “You know what I am talking about.”

Lucifer felt his mouth open and closing, while he blinked in utter surprise. Lilith’s voice had changed quickly from distant cold to held back anger. He wasn’t a fool. He could see that she was pissed at him and for the first time, he was able to feel something, besides the Numbness inside him. He was doing this for Charlie, right? He sat in here, because he wanted to make her the perfect gift.

“I do this for Charlie!”, he argued back, shifting aside to present her the music box, that he builds, but Lilith, much to his dismay, just shook her head. The long blond strains of her hair fell into her face, her arms crossed in front of her.

Still on the other side of the room, it felt like something held them apart. Like an invisible wall, that parted the room and them. Lucifer wondered if Lilith felt the same.

“I’m not talking about this, Lucifer.”, she finally said, her voice thick. “I’m talking about, that Charlie grows up without you. When was the last time, that you came out and talked to her? Played with her? Do you even know what she had learned the past days? Oh, what am I talking about? Months? While you hid away?”

Not willing to see her glaring and yet painfilled eyes, Lucifer turned his back to her, crumbling over his desk, while he stared at the little carousel in front of him. He felt anger, rising in him, but it was nothing compared to the harsh pain, that came with her words. The problem was that Lilith was right. He didn’t know how much Charlie had learned and done the past… time. But wasn’t it Lilith, that had suggested to keep the girl away from his misery to shield her? How could he have known that this void lasted so long?

“Are you going to answer me?”, she pursuit further, causing him to shrug helpless with his shoulders. “What do you want me to do?”

“Getting out!”

He could clearly hear the despair in her voice, yet she didn’t cross the room and he didn’t turn.

“Getting out of this cocoon that you have created around yourself to keep everyone out, Lucifer. Do you know how much it hurts to see you like this? This…”, she failed to find the right words and he could hear her seeking for breath. He could her the thickness in her normally beautiful voice and he only could imagine how far she was from crying. Still, he couldn’t feel anything. He wanted to feel something. Why couldn’t he feel? Why couldn’t he cry? Why couldn’t he tell her, how he felt?

“Like what?”, he asked instead, lacking any emotion.

Lilith was silent for a moment, before he could hear her crossing the room and turning him around on his chair.

“Is this funny to you?” – “Can’t you see me laughing? Hardy har!”

“You are unbelievable. Do you even care about the people around you?”, she snapped back and that, finally, let him feel something. Anger. Pure anger, that had built itself up over the past weeks, no, months.

“I do care about you!”, the angel shouted, jumping up from his chair, to face Lilith. He could feel his horns growing and his tail appearing. “How can you even dare to suggest something else, Lilith?! I love Charlie and you. You know that!”

“Then why don’t you show it? Why wont you talk? Why do you lock yourself away from us? Tell me!”

Lucifer shut his eyes, clawed his palms in his hair, while he crossed the room to get space. He tight feeling around his heart grow smaller and smaller. Like a snake, that dared to choke him, and Lucifer didn’t know, what he could do to stop it. To give himself some sort of Relief instead letting everything out, that he kept hidden for so long. “Because it was your fucking idea!”

“My idea?!”, Lilith gasped in utter shock. “My idea?!”, she echoed him again, before puffing in disbelief. “I have never told you to isolate yourself from everything.”

“You said that it would be better to keep Charlie away.” – “Yes, so she can have a relative normal life, Lucifer!”

“Well, big surprise, she won’t!”, he shouted suddenly, before continuing his raging thoughts. “And you know why? Because she is in fucking hell! I don’t know what makes you think that any of this is good. But let me tell you something, it isn’t! It’s a big pile of shit, a hole full of the waste and garbage of this world. If something of this makes you see anything good in it, please tell me, because I can’t fucking see it.”

“Why are you angry at me now? I did nothing to hurt you.”, she defended. “I was always at your side and supported you. And know, when I come to pry you out of this miserable hole that you have created yourself, you attack my like Im your enemy.” Tears shimmered in her eyes and Lucifer felt a pang in his chest. He didn’t want to make her cry. He didn’t want to do anything. He wanted to lie down and sleep. To never get up again. He wanted to dream again.

“Is it that, what I am to you? Your enemy?”, she now asked choking.

“No. I just…”, he attempted an explanation, but failed. Hopeless he lifted his hands but let them fall to his sides again. “… just what? Lucifer, please tell me. Talk to me! What is wrong?”

“I don’t know…. I just…”, a new wave of anger overcame him and gave his shattering voice more power. “I hate it. All of this! This shithole that you call a home, this whole situation. Just everything.”. Again, he walked past her, slamming his hands down on his desk and digging his claws deep into the wood.

“Good!”, she now said, nearly mockingly. “At least you can still feel something!”

He could feel her eyes in his back.

“Do you know what I feel, Lucifer? I look at you and I feel nothing. Not the man, that I fell in Love with. Not the father of my child.”, she scoffed. “Not even the hateful monster that you pretend to be. You’re just empty. And that scares the hell out of me.”

He could hear her turn, walking away from him and in a last attempt to have the last word and maybe, just maybe, get the answer, that he was sure he had for him, he said: “Didn’t you forget to mention you much you hate me? How you loath me, for dragging you down here?”

He heard Lilith stopping and turning, just for him, to turn to her, his eyes full of pain and despair to get an answer, that he didn’t want to her, but needed to her, just to justify his fears. “Go on! Admit it! You are disgusted with me, aren’t you? The fallen angel? The demonic monster, that has nothing to do with the beautiful being that you met so long ago.”

“Not this again.” Lilith look dry at him, tears running over her pale cheeks. “But if you need to hear it so badly, I will fulfill your wish, my love. I am disgusted with you.”

Lucifer, even though he knew, that the answer would crash him, felt his heart shatter. For a moment he even thought he could cry, but his eyes stayed dry. Something, that just fed his inner void and despair. He let his chin sink to his chest, just listening to his own breathing and his heart beating.

“But it has nothing to do with the way you look or that I am here with you.”, she continued. “I am disgusted with what you have. And I am disgusted with what you let it do to you. How you just let it change you.”

Her words echoed in his mind. He could hear her sniffling while she watched him, maybe hoping for a response. But he just couldn’t. Without another word, Lilith turned and left his workshop, closing the door behind her and leaving him alone. 

The Void grew bigger.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

I hope you had fun and now to the Inspiration to it. The game, that i mentioned is called Layers of Fear, which is in my opinion a great psychological horror game. The particular dialog is from the DLC Inheritance, so all credits for that go to the Bloober Team, who created the game. The Original Dialog will follow after my little monolouge. I will also crosspublish the Story on Ao3. If you really want the full experience of this story, read it with that song: https://youtu.be/om-keDOy5cU?list=PL4fFy6wYdYt90D7sotlvTvu07-f_aiiMY

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"I hate you."

"Good! At least you can still feel something. I look at you and I see nothing. Not the beautiful girl I fell in Love with. Not the mother of my child. Not even the hateful monster that you pretend to be.  You’re just empty. I look at you and I feel nothing. And that scares the hell out of me."

"You forgot to say how hideous I am. Go on. I know you want to!"

"God, not that again!"

"I know you’re disgusted with me, admit it!"

"Right, I am disgusted with you! But it has nothing to do with the way you look. I am disgusted with what you let it do to you.  How you let it change you."

[punkshort]

I'm trying to soak up what's left of my summer (before my teacher duties begin) by binging stories from you (my favorite writer!). I absolutely fell in love with Somewhere to Run and it's become a comfort piece for me. 🥰

In Another Life, Roommates and Swept Away are absolutely amazing and I always look forward to updates from them! They will definitely help me make it through the school year.

Thank you for taking the time to create wonderful pieces of writing and sharing your talent with others! ❤

Oh wow, you're a teacher? You are a saint, my friend! I do not know how you guys do it. Whenever I drop my son off at school I genuinely can't wrap my head around how teachers do this all day (and likely go home to their own kids). So I just want to say THANK YOU for being a teacher, you're doing such important work. My son has an EI teacher I am convinced is an angel because she's made so much progress with him and she's so amazing and he just adores her. Teachers fucking rock, man.

ANYWAY thank you so much! If you can find escape in my little stories then I am honored to do that for you. Truly.

[redmelawashere]

SNS 2022 Prompts week 4

Week 1 summaries are here! 

Week 2 summaries here :) Week 3 summaries reporting for duty.

Full fics can be read here on my AO3 😊

I finally completed them THE SECOND DAY OF THE SNS 2023 EXTRAVAGANZA. WHICH I WILL ALSO BE PARTICIPATING IN. Stay tuned on my AO3! Those new prompts will be uploaded as of tomorrow :)

22 - Traveling Together

In which there is a cold hotel room, Naruto starts to feel more like herself, and there is a shared moment of intimacy between her and Sasuke in the early morning somewhere in Northern Lightning Country.

(Pt. IV of the "Sun and Moon", "Early Mornings", and "Naruto Opening (Diver)" prompts and honestly, an excuse to write 3500+ words of women empowerment pwp.)

23 - Royalty AU

"I’m sorry, but not all of us are related to the King and have the pleasure of being an insolent, pompous, shithead in front of the entire continent without fear of retribution.”  She stomped past him, hoping that this would be the last she’d see of Uchiha Sasuke. Her mother tells her a week later that Sasuke has accepted the proposal.

She takes the letter, handwritten by the King himself, and rips it up into tiny square pieces

(A very loose HouseoftheDragon!AU, without the incest, and a dash of arranged marriage.)

24 - Angels and Demons

“Alright kid,” Naruto started midway through the day, rubbing her temples. “Why am I an oni?”

“Because you ensnared, Sasuke-kun! All he does is stare at you all day!”

“Ugh, haven’t you ever heard of like, women supporting women?”

(In which the Daimyo's relative is a massive royal pain in Naruto's ass.)

25 - You Bring Colours to this Bleak World

"Come with me." he commanded in a low and dangerous tone, his red eyes gleaming in the darkness of her room.

She stared at him with disbelief, not knowing whether this was yet another one of her hallucinatory dreams or some sick, twisted joke.

(The sister fic, and pt.II of “Soulmates” prompt.)

26 - First Love

He sighed heavily, pressing the heels of his palms into his forehead.

"Dobe—I didn't mean—fuck—what are we going to do with all of this? We are going to be eating onigiri for days."

(Sasuke is reminded of the fact that he was the one who fell in love first. Pt.II of the "Going on a date" prompt.)

27 - Side by Side

“You’re free to interpret it as you like.”

“Did it make you think of me?”

Sasuke froze, staring at her with piercing, obsidian orbs.

“Yes,” he admitted lowly. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

(In which Naruto starts to feel better and Sasuke, once again, has to shake the blonde out of her ugly insecurities. Pt. V of the "Sun and Moon", "Early Mornings", "Naruto Opening (Diver)", and "Travelling Together" prompts.)

28 - Greek Mythology

“Sasuke, I’m sorry—”

“—F-fuck you.”

He has to keep moving.

(A Hades!AU for the Greek Mythology prompt featuring Zagreus!Naruto and Maegara!Sasuke instead of the classic PersephonexHades adaptation. Another yaoi fic! )

29 - Touch him and I'll kill you!

“—What are you two talking about?” Ino interjected again, eyes darting between her two solemn friends. Sakura looked at Kiba who nodded. The pinkette then cupped her hands around her mouth, whispering loudly, “we think Naruto is pregnant.”

“Oh? Tell me everything.”

(The one where rumours are swirling around Naruto and Sasuke's expanding family. If only they knew the truth was more furry in nature.)

30 - Rockstar/Band/Music AU

“Wait, your training sessions are a secret?” Sakura hissed; eyes narrowed suspiciously as she grabbed another piece of barbeque ribs.

“Jinchuuriki things you normies wouldn’t understand,” she shot back. “Seriously. You think he tells me about his music career when we’re busy beating the shit out of each other or meditating with our Bijuu? Obviously not.”

(In which Naruto lied. She did know, and accidentally became a secret back-up singer for Bee and everyone loses their goddamn minds. Crack treated seriously.)

31 - Winter

“Do you care if I record something?”

“Yes. I don’t want my fucking face all over the internet and especially in your dumbass TikTok’s idiot—which, by the way, I’m still pissed about.”

She turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

“Stupid Tiktoks? Okay, I’m sorry for posting that one video of you without asking, but I guess it's kind of funny that you think they’re stupid, considering you’ve been spying on my profile for months.”

(AKA Naruto becomes TikTok famous in the ninja world and Sasuke has had just about enough of her going viral every other Tuesday. Crack treated seriously.)

[althaiareads]

I am ready, love. Come at me. I am unbreakable.

"And then one more", you spun around, making the baby giggle in your hands

Oh fuck, there's a baby. I am not ready. I'm going to cry, am I not?

"You promise you won't leave?", Sarah crocked out, big brown eyes searching yours. (...) Her dad needing to go through this alone again.

DUDE?!?!?!??!?!??! NOPE. NOPE. NOT DOING THIS.

"And best wife to be", those words made your heart flutter a little. God, you loved this man, and you couldn't wait to be a Miller soon.

OKAY, SO ON TOP OF THE BABY, THEY WERE GETTING MARRIED?!?!?!??!?!??! AND YOU JUST WENT THROUGH WITH IT.

You pressed Sarah closer to you, her arm falling over Emma's body. You started to hum one of the lullabies. The lullaby that had followed Sarah through her childhood. The one even she sometimes hummed to her little sister if she took over the nap duties.

That is one of the cutest things ever. And, I'm already sobbing, nice.

"If something happens", "Y/N, don't…", you yanked at Joel's arm, firmly gaping at him. "You fucking take them and run", you muttered through gritted teeth.

Not the foreshadowing.

Your eyes fell on Em in Tommy's arms; her bright pink cheeks were visible in the night. Your little angel baby. Your girl that you will never get to see grow up. She might not even remember you. You were going to be a distant memory. Just how Sarah's mom was to her. Sarah looked at the blood seeping through your skin.

THE SARAH PARALLEL WAS NOT NECESSARY! God, I am in so much pain right now.

"Don't go; don't die; you can't die", he croaked out, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

WHY?!?!?!??!?!

This was absolutely heartbreaking, I can't keep doing this to myself. Amazing job breaking me into pieces. Wow.

And to the person that requested this:

We bleed together

a/n you want pain!? I'll give you pain. The person who requested this is responsible for the damage.

summary: what if the last day of humanity was different? What if instead of loosing Sarah, Joel lost you - the mother of his two children and the person who had built him up to a better man.

warnings: car crash, blood, injuries, wounds, death ahh I would say medium emotional damage

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"And then one more", you spun around, making the baby giggle in your hands, "And one more", you twirled around, smiling to yourself as yet another giggle filled the still-empty kitchen. Emma was one giddy baby. For a five-month-old, she was extremely alert, her curiosity driving her to look around as much as she could. If only her body was strong enough, she would be crawling around day and night. Following Sarah around or any of you for that instant. Sarah barely left her side. You were worried at first about her reaction. Sure, you had been there almost from the start, helping Joel take care of her, and she was like your own daughter, but still. You had plenty of conversations about her biological mother. You understood her desire to know. To ask questions. To understand.

"She didn't want me, right? I was the problem", you were halfway through your pregnancy when this conversation surfaced again. Putting down the baby sweater that you were just folding, you motioned for Sarah to come in. She had become more avoidant once you started showing. The reality started to kick in, and it pained her that the baby was going to have a real and normal family.

"You were never the problem, my beam of light", you cupped her face lovingly, whipping away some of the tears that had started rolling down Sarah's cheeks. "But… she didn't love me like you love your baby", "Oh, Sarah", you pulled her closer to your chest, "I've loved you from the moment I saw you kicking around in that makeshift crib your dad had going on". Running your hand through Sarah's curls, you made her turn to you. "You've been my special girl since then. I love you and the baby the same. There are no differences to me between you two. Sure, you and I don't share DNA, but, like, who cares about that?", she shrugged her shoulders. Biting her lip as she tried to stop the tears. "You promise you won't leave?", Sarah crocked out, big brown eyes searching yours. It broke your heart so much, but you understood her. Her fear of losing a mother figure. Her dad needing to go through this alone again. You took both of her hands in yours, squeezing them, "I would never dream of it; you are my world".

Joel couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, especially once the baby caught sight of her father in the archway, kicking her little legs happily. The sudden burst of excitement made you turn your head to the side, "Ah, so dad is the one you get all happy for, huh", You nuzzled your face into Emma's neck, leaving endless amounts of kisses there and making her squeal happily. "She's a daddy's girl, aren't you?", Joel walked closer to you, hand reaching instantly for the smallest Miller. Emma's babbles filled the kitchen as she told her dad all the stories she could. "Honestly, rude. When both of our kids are like that", "Maybe I'm just more awesome", you let out a fake gasp, your hand coming up your chest. Joel smirked before giggling to himself. "No, sir, soon you'll be going to work without birthday sandwiches", you warned him, and Joel instantly lifted his free hand in the air defensively.

It felt surreal this morning for some reason. Joel had laid in bed awake for some time just thinking. Thinking about Sarah's mother. Thinking about you. About how his life had shifted once you stepped in. How much he valued the love you gave Sarah. How much he valued you going through a tough pregnancy to bring another baby girl into this world. Joel wondered if you knew. Knew how much he loved you. It wasn't just love. It was his whole existence. You were his rock, as he was yours. But he knew, Joel was convinced, that it was all thanks to you that he found purpose in life again.

"We can't have mommy mad", Joel mumbled to Emma, ticking her stomach. He moved closer to you while you were cutting up the vegetables. Leaning in to press a kiss on your shoulder, then another. Before a whole line of kisses was drawn from your shoulder up to your temple. You giggled, loving the slight tickle of Joel's beard against your skin. "I love you so much", Joel muttered, bringing you closer to his chest as his hand sneaked around your waist. You leaned back into him smiling, "Not as much as I love you, birthday boy", you cupped his cheeks, moving into Joel's embrace so you could place your lips on his. "The best mama ever", he muttered in between kisses, "And best wife to be", those words made your heart flutter a little. God, you loved this man, and you couldn't wait to be a Miller soon. You deepened the kiss just a little.

"Seriously? In front of a baby?", Sarah's voice made you two tear apart quickly. "You're officially out of the age to say ew when your parents kiss", Joel chirped, turning to his older daughter, who was rolling her eyes. "Yeah, but Em isn't, so don't be disgusting, right Em?", Sarah reached for her sister, whom Joel had carefully placed in her little high chair. Her little fist tightened and wrapped around Sarah's finger. You place the plates with food on the table.

"Tommy?", you ask, but Joel shrugged his shoulders. "Probably left early," strange, you thought to yourself as you slipped into the chair next to everyone. "So, how old are you again?", Sarah asked, mouth full of food. "Thirty-six", the girl shook her head, making you giggle. "Hate to break it to you, dad, but dippers are in the near future", she teased, but Joel only hummed, "Who said I ain't wearing one now?". Sarah let out a laugh, which Emma mimicked, making you smile. "Well, at least now I know why Em's diapers are disappearing", you said ž, making them both let out a laugh.

You wished you could freeze moments like this. Where you all were laughing. Where nothing bothered you all. "Don't forget to get the cake on your way back", you reminded Joel, who instantly hummed, "I will don't worry", he muttered, and Sarah sent him a warning look that he returned by leaning across the table to cup her cheeks and placing kisses all over her face. She squirmed in her dad's hands until she couldn't contain the laughter anymore.

Joel came back to a dark house. He wasn't expecting anything else, considering that he was three hours late coming back. He knew you would forget him for skipping his birthday dinner. It was Sarah, whom he knew must be upset. And letting her down was his biggest fear in life. Joel tried to move past the hallway as quietly as possible, stopping only when he noticed a light coming from the living room. Sarah was fast asleep with her head laying on your lap, your eyes were tired as you held Emma close to your chest. The light sounds of her suckling and the television playing were the only noise in the room. Joel couldn't help but smile slightly. He will never be able to get tired of a sight like this.

"Am I in deep shit?", you blinked a couple of times, shaking your head, "You can't even imagine Miller". Joel sat down next to you, lips instantly moving to kiss the side of your head, hand reaching to support Emma, who was happily eating, her tiny hand holding onto the pendant necklace that Joel had gotten you. It had four gold-plated letters. All the first letters of your little family's names.

"Don't overthink it. She'll understand eventually. Sarah wants your presence more than that cake anyway,", you reassured him, already feeling him slip into his mind. You knew Joel best. You knew how much he cared. The family was always first, and his working hours were so hectic just because he wanted to give you all the best. "I know. I will… I'll squeeze in a free day, and we can all just have a day to ourselves", Joel muttered, and you leaned closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder.

"Have I told you lately that you are the love of my life?", he asked all of a sudden, making you look back up at him. "Well, I would freaking hope to be", you teased him, moving to nuzzle closer to him once more. Joel let out a light chuckle, "But you have; you always remind me of that. Because you are the best fiancé and father ever", you muttered sleepily. Joel's warmth dangerously lulled you into a slumber.

The sound of what appeared to be a military helicopter flying over the house woke you up. You frowned, reaching over for Joel only to find his side of the bed empty. You quickly sat up, looking at the bassinet that stood by the side of your bed. Breathing out a sigh of relief when you saw Emma fast asleep there. Lights from outside were illuminating the room. It seemed like the search troops were out. What the heck was happening? The sight of a paper note caught your attention next. You picked it up quickly. It was Joel's handwriting on it: "Needed to go bail Tommy out. I'll be back as soon as I can. Love you, J.

The sound of footsteps approaching made you grab a book off your bedside table. Something was wrong, and you could just feel it. You could feel it deep in your gut. "Mom, dad", Sarah's voice filled your ears, right before another helicopter flew by. "Cone here, darling", Sarah threw the door open, rushing to you as she jumped onto the bed. "What's going on?", she asked, as your eyes fell over the window. "I don't know,", you muttered, "But daddy will be home soon, and we'll figure it out, okay?", You cupped her cheek tenderly, giving Sarah a light smile. You stood up and opened the wardrobe, pulling out a wrap-around carrier. Quickly draping it over your body, you leaned to pick up the smallest addition to the family, tucking her close to your chest. Now more than thankful that she was a deep sleeper, a gift from Joel.

"Come on, let's see if there's something on TV,", you said, reaching for Sarah's hand. The commotion outside only made the anxiety more and more intense. "Where is dad?", Sarah asked as you walked down the stairs. "He went to get your uncle". It wasn't the first time, so Sarah didn't ask any more questions. She knew it meant that Tommy had once again gotten into trouble. Something that made her dad rather frustrated most of the time.

All the channels were turned off, the only thing on TV was a warning. "Indoors, law enforcement and emergency services are in the area and will be in contact with further instructions", your hand was still holding onto Sarah when the sound of something hitting the window made you both jump. The barking filled your ears next, and you let out a shaky breath. Sarah instantly rushed towards the doors. "No, get back here", you called after the girl, but she was already opening the door, sinking to her knees as she petted the dog. "Easy, easy, Mercy. What are you doing out here, boy?", Sarah looked around the street, the chilly nighttime air hitting her cheeks. She moves to step closer to the street, but you were quick to hold onto her arm. "Get back inside," you said, "But what if ms. Adler…", she tried to argue, but your grip on her hand only tightened.

"I said inside", you tugged at her hand right as another person or whatever that was stumbled into the street. It twitched awkwardly before starting to dart in your direction. You moved Sarah behind you. "Go, go, go", you shouted before, pushing her into the house, closing the door behind you. Pressing all of your body weight against the door. Eyes closed as your body started to shake. Where was Joel? Where was he? The baby lets out a whine. Your hand instantly moved to rub up and down her tiny back, hoping to soothe her into sleep.

"Mom", Sarah calls out. You lifted your eyes to see her teary ones, instantly reaching for her, "Come here baby. We're okay", "What was that?". You pressed her to your side, kissing her head a couple of times. You wished you could answer, but you couldn't. "I don't know, baby, I don't know", you nudged her closer to yourself. Banging on the doors got louder, and a part of you was telling you to move to somewhere safer to at least get the girls safe. But you couldn't move. So crippled by anxiety. You just sat there with silent tears falling down your cheeks. Then a shot rang out, making you flinch. And then there was silence.

"Y/N", you let out a cry at Joel's voice that filled your ears from the other side of the door. Sarah was the one to stand up fist, quickly reaching for the handle, giving you just enough time to move slightly as she yanked the doors open. Joel stepped in, his hands reaching for Sarah instantly as he looked her over for any sign of injuries, "You're not hurt, baby girl?", he asked her. Sarah shook her head. "Dad, what's going on?", but Joel said nothing as his eyes fell on you. Crying on the floor, hands wrapped around your baby. He crossed the distance between you in a couple of steps. Kneeling beside you, "Joel…", you cried out, and he instantly brought your body closer to his, weary of the baby between you but making sure you could physically feel that he was there, "I've got you dove, come on, we need to move now".

Joel's arm moved to steady you from behind as he helped you up. Tommy was by Sarah's side, gun in hand, as he walked her towards the car. You barely made it down the front porch stairs as someone ran out of the Adler's house. You all froze in place, and Tommy hiked up the gun. "Get in the truck now", Joel roared, briefly turning to you and Sarah. But there was little time to think as the woman's body twitched and, with an unhuman-like growl, she started crawling towards you.

"What are we doing, Joel?", Tommy's voice rang out, but Joel didn't answer. With the tool in his hand, he swung his arm. He hit the old lady straight on the head, and her body fell to the ground. It was a split-second decision. A decision that had both you and Sarah staring at Joel because you had never… Never seen him this way. Never seen so much anger. Never seen this kind of violence. You didn't even know that Joel was capable of that.

"You killed her", Sarah whispered, pulling you out of your trance. Joel stepped to her, cupping her cheek, "Baby, I'm sorry", wrapping his arms around her, embracing her. "Joel, we need to move", Tommy said in a worried tone, now moving to grab your hands as he walked you toward the car. "You're okay?", he asked you as he opened the door, making sure you didn't hit your head. His hand lingered on his niece's back, her big brown eyes now staring at him. You nodded your head. What else were you supposed to do? "We'll get out of here", Tommy said firmly, rubbing his thumb on Emma's cheek. You turned to Joel and Sarah; he was still holding onto her. Her cheeks were stained with tears.

"Listen to me, it's not just the Adlers, but we need to be brave; we will get out of this together", Joel said to her before opening the door for her. An explosion rocked the street meters away from you. Both Miller brothers were quick to shield you, baby, and Sarah. Emma's cries echoed through the empty street now. You met Joel's eyes briefly. Eyes that were also scared. Worried eyes. "Let's go, guys, we need to go", Tommy jumped in the driver's seat before starting the car.

Sarah was silently crying beside you. Crying alongside Emma. You tried to soothe both of their fears, but with your anxiety being so high, you knew that you could try to hide it all you wanted - they could still feel it. The frantic driving and Joel's shouting at Tommy didn't help much. You pressed Sarah closer to you, her arm falling over Emma's body. You started to hum one of the lullabies. The lullaby that had followed Sarah through her childhood. The one even she sometimes hummed to her little sister if she took over the nap duties. "And in the darkest of nights, the stars shine bright above us. Sleep tight, little one; let the light calm you", you hummed softly. Rocking both of them in your embrace.

The world was falling apart. Houses were on fire. There was so much screaming. "What if it's everywhere?", Sarah muttered, looking up at you. "We'll find a safe place. Remember what your dad told you? We need to be just a tiny bit braver tonight", you said, meeting Tommy's gaze right as he looked up. A plane flew over the car. "The fuck", the younger Miller cursed while watching the ship sway in the sky. "Keep going", Joel encouraged his brother. His arms slipped toward the back. Joel's fingers were running up and down your calve. His way of grounding himself, of making sure that you knew he was there. That he still had this under control. That he was going to get you all out of here.

The chaos was like nothing you had seen before. The screams. The cries. People were running in front of cars. Hitting the sides as they fell. The streets were full. It all felt like a blur and the worst nightmare all at once. Sarah's grip on your hand was deadly. Your fingers had found Joel's hand as you leaned forward. Tommy started to move out of the street. You felt a tug on your hand. Sarah's eyes were gazing through the back window. "Dad" she whispered, "Dad!", this time the word came out more firm and loud. You only managed to see another airplane flying right at you. Then came the crash. The sound of static. Everything moved at lightning speed. You caved into yourself. Hoping to provide as much shelter for the infant with my body, and then everything went black for a moment.

Joel had never been more scared than the moment he crawled out of the car that was now lying on its roof and found your unconscious body covered in bits of glass and blood. Emma's cries soothed him almost; at least he knew she was alive. Sarah moved as well, and Joel let out a somewhat relieved breath. "Babe", Joel touched your leg, but you didn't move. He inched closer, dragging you out of the car by your shoulders. The moment Joel tugged on your hand, your eyes snapped open with a cry.

"Hey, I've got you", he tried to sound calm, but the sight of the blood trickling down the side of your face made him want to tear the whole world apart. Joel pulled Sarah out of the car as well before turning his attention to you. "Does something hurt?", "My shoulder, I think I…", you hissed when Joel's finger came in contact with your skin. "Give me, Em. Sarah, can you walk, baby?", Joel was loosening the carrier from around your body as he gazed at his firstborn. The girl nodded, and you ripped the side of the carry. Crawling toward Sarah and reaching for her ankle. "I'll wrap it tight, okay; it might feel uncomfortable, but you'll be able to move for now", "Mom, your head", she mumbled, fingers reaching for the blood, but you stopped her quickly. "It's nothing, darling. You focus on staying close to us, okay?"

Tommy came up from the other side, glancing over his shoulder. "The military trucks are here; you need to move; go towards the river; I'll meet you there", Tommy said, Joel rocked Emma in his arms as she screamed her little lungs out. She, too, felt the threat without the warmth of your skin. Tommy shrugged off his jacket, draping it over Joel, before helping you stand. "I'll see y'all there", he ushered you to move. "You stay safe", you said to him, and he only nodded. Regardless of his stumbles in life, Tommy was a good man. A loving brother-in-law. Someone whom you cherished. Cherished so deeply. But you couldn't let your sentiments get the better of you now. You needed to get your babies out of this mess. Get them somewhere safe. So you grabbed Sarah's hand, and so did Joel, and you all ran.

The river bank was practically a hand's reach away. Sarah was limping badly. You knew her leg was going to give up at any moment. You pulled her closer to you so she could lean more of her weight on you. Ignoring the pain that shot through your shoulder. Whispering words of encouragement to her. "Stop right there", a male's voice called out. Joel brought you all to a halt as the light from a gun darted onto your body. "We are not infected. My family got into a car crash", yet you could tell that the soldier didn't care about it whatsoever as he inched closer. "I have four civilians by the river. The female is covered in blood, girl limping", he said coldly into the radio, gun still pointed your way. "Please, we", "Shut up", the male roared, and you instantly pushed Sarah behind you. "Joel…", your hand held onto his forearm, but your eyes didn't leave the person in front of you. Something in your gut twisted. A sense of dread almost pulled you down.

"If something happens", "Y/N, don't…", you yanked at Joel's arm, firmly gaping at him. "You fucking take them and run", you muttered through gritted teeth. "Hey, no one told you to move", the soldier shouted, and you moved to face him again. The sound of your breathing was the only sound you could hear as your hand came up over Joel's hip, and you moved forward. The gunfire pierced the air. The echo was almost unbearable. Freezing. Static. Joel must have dragged you to the side after the first shot rang out, making you all tumble down the hill.

All Joel could hear was Em crying and a couple more shots ringing out. He needed to think quickly. He needed to come up with a plan. "Mommy", Sarah's shaky breath followed by a scream, was what got Joel to look up. And he wished he hadn't. He wished this was a dream. Maybe it was? His worst nightmare? What if he pinched himself? Make it all disappear. Make it all stop. "Joel", Tommy called out, reaching for the crying baby, and the moment the girl was out of his hands, Joel was moving towards you, falling over himself but moving to you.

"Hey, hey, love", he muttered. You had two gunshot wounds on both sides. The blood had already soaked your clothes. Sarah's had her hands pressed against your skin as she shook. "Listen to me, Y/N; I'll get you out; I'll make it", but you moved your hand up, gripping his arm. Lips pressed together as you tried to keep yourself from screaming in pain. You had to. For your girls.

Your eyes fell on Em in Tommy's arms; her bright pink cheeks were visible in the night. Your little angel baby. Your girl that you will never get to see grow up. She might not even remember you. You were going to be a distant memory. Just how Sarah's mom was to her. Sarah looked at the blood seeping through your skin. You reached for her, making her eyes snap at your face.

You pulled the last bits of your strength so you would smile at her, "I love you, sun-shine", you breathed out, and burning pain shot through your body, making you close your eyes. "Mommy, please. I… don't… please", she said, moving to wrap her hands around your neck. You breathed in her flowery scent, feeling your eyes burn with tears. Knowing very well that this was the last time you were going to feel her touch and smell her, "Let… mommy and daddy have a moment", you pleaded. Feeling your body starting to crash already. You didn't want her to see you fade away. No. The blood. Everything from tonight was already too much. She shook her head, but Joel grabbed her hands and moved them away from your blood, saying, "Go to Tommy, baby girl".

Joel, however, moved back to pressing down on your wounds for dear life. Even if he could tell, it was hopeless. He couldn't. He couldn't and was not about to let go. "Joel..", you cried out, and he instantly moved your body closer to his. Pulling you against his chest, "Don't go; don't die; you can't die", he croaked out, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. "Hold me", you whispered, feeling the metallic taste in your mouth getting stronger, "I'm here, love. I've got you", Joel pulled you even closer to him, savoring the last bits of your warmth. He hoped it would have been him dying here. It should have been because you three would have been fine with Tommy. But with you gone… What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to live?

"I lo-ve…", "I love you too; I love you so much", your grip on his arm started to loosen as your body shook. Joel got to meet your eyes one more time. He got to capture the depth and warmth of them that he knew he wanted to remember for the rest of his miserable life. "It's okay, it's okay", more blood poured from your mouth. Your big, worried eyes eased. Joel's rocking stayed the same. As if he were swaying you to sleep. As if you two were back home, back in your bedroom, and you had just had a bad dream. A bad dream that Joel was desperate to chase away. "I will always love you. There will never be anyone to replace you. My heart is yours; I'm bleeding with you, dove", he said through the tears.

Then you took a breath in. A surprisingly smooth breath in. Joel looked down at your face. And with a final exhale, your body let go, and the weight of you in Joel's hands told him loud and clear that you were gone. He looked up at the sky, at the stars that shone brightly despite the complete chaos. His body shook with a sob, a sob that guided your soul away from this world. A sob with which a part of Joel died. You took it as you went, and he was never going to be the same.

Tommy didn't rush Joel. Couldn't bring himself to. Sarah was crying with her head buried in her uncle's shoulder, and Emma's choking sobs followed suit. Joel held you till your body was ice cold. His eyes had dried, and he was staring ahead of himself, but he saw nothing. The same darkness that danced within his heart was now dancing all around him. He took your hand into his, carefully taking off the engagement ring from your finger before doing the same with the necklace. He needed something. He needed something from you that he could carry with him.

With you in his arms, Joel stood up. His legs were shaking, but he stepped forward. Tommy rose as well, "Joel, you can't… ", he tried to stop his brother. He understood that parting with your lifeless body was hard, but Joel couldn't carry you around. "We're going", Joel said dryly, as he moved past them. Sarah managed to brush her fingers over your cold skin as her father walked past. "You can't", Tommy tried again, but Joel turned back around, looking feral. "I said we MOVE,", he barked out, making Sarah shiver, and Em only cried more. "Dad,", the older girl tried, but Joel paid her no mind. He couldn't, not now. Acknowledging her would mean that he would have to face reality. And he couldn't. He couldn't fall apart. Especially not now. A shield of coldness embraces Joel as he continues walking through the dark field, still feeling your blood dripping off his hands. Dead.

[chandlerxfitzgerald]

No Requiem // self para

Chandler never minded living in luxury's generous lap. He spent the money on designer clothes, owned the latest advances technology offered, and practically slept on silk sheets night by night. He even held the option being driven around the city by another, but today, this is something that required a trip alone. No private drivers means no one would judge him. True, he oftentimes enjoyed an audience of his flourishing dramatics, this time isn't the right moment for a performance.

He stepped out of the Rolls-Royce as soon as he pulled up along the edge of where he knew Douglas' grave sat and slung the duffle bag over his shoulder with a gentle huff. As he began the trek through the newly trimmed grass, he passed tombstones engraved by the names of the dead and placed aside the thought of how much he truly despised cemeteries. They were depressing, a reminder that a majority who ended up there had died at Urie's hands, at least that is what the young Fitzgerald imagined. Chandler finally reached the final resting place of the man who caused so much damage to everyone around him. The tombstone was tall, foreboding in a way, and a sculpted angel sat at the very top, looking down on him as if in mockery. Douglas was no angel in life, definitely not one in death. It may as well have been Lucifer's previous angelic form overseeing the former Hedgestone leader.

"Well, hey. Pops." Chandler greeted sarcastically, dropping the bag he hauled to the ground and sticking his hands in the pockets of his wool coat. His gaze briefly flickered the etching on the stone, the elaborate border lovely if it weren't for its place on a monster's marker. The header, Father, son, husband, dedicated leader forced a snort from the irony. Dedicated leader, Chandler's ass. "You're probably gazing up at me from Hell and wondering why I've wasted my time coming all the way here. I have a faction you cared more about than your own children to help run." He waved a hand dismissively and continued, "Personally, I think we should've cremated your ass and flushed what's left of your ashes down the toilet like the piece of shit you were. Would've been funnier."

"Morrigan's doing fantastic, by the way." Chandy couldn't deny the smug grin stretching his lips, glowing pride overtaking every inch of his being. "You underestimated her, Pops. She can be ruthless when she sees fit, she instrokes fear in an artful precision you never succeeded during your reign, and we both know who we have to blame for that. Don't we?" The thing they didn't talk about, those nights of torment and psychological warfare waged by their father leaving scars in different methods.

Chandler erased the memories from his mind for the moment. "She stole a page from your book, though. Messing with someone's head, forcing her victims to believe something that was not actually true just to make an example." He nodded once, "True, Momo knows you wouldn't have hesitated executing two traitors if you were still in charge, but she bloodies her hands when needed. She isn't the meek flower obeying under a dominate man that you thought she would be. The prize, the submissive whose only purpose was providing her husband a male heir. A sexual object incapable of thought." Morrigan rose above and proved her worth. "She's a kingless queen. And I her loyal second-in-command standing proudly through thick and thin."

His eyes hovered over the death date, practically burning a hole in the granite, as he fell silent for a long minute. "Do you know the day I remember often? I was fourteen. It had been about a month since I came to live in the mansion and you forced me to a suit fitting. You gave the spiel about how I was flying the Urie banner and shoved the responsibility of sharing duties with Desmond down my fucking throat." There was another pause. "That's also the time I finally understood how worthless you thought about your own daughter. You made me her replacement and I never asked for it." A sardonic chuckle exited Chandler's mouth at the next statement. "However closeminded you became, no matter my particular lifestyle, you'd rather suffer a flamboyant son than hand over power to a woman. I wasn't about to make it easy for you, Pops...I wanted you paying for it every goddamn day."

"Do you want to know a secret between us manly men with our superiority just because we have dicks? The same way you underestimated Morri, I underestimated you with your cruelty." Chandler began fidgeting with the sleeves of his coat considering the tightness those memories created constricting inside his throat. When most people experience severe trauma as the siblings endured, a brain would block out what causes the pain and buries it deep. Untouched, forbidding access until the person is ready if they ever reach the point in their lives. "Four days. You dragged me from my room to your office and subjected me to Morrigan's imprisonment. The whippings, every punch, I felt along my flesh as if I was there. You fucked with the temperature of my bedroom. Freezing cold with nothing to keep me warm but the sound of Morrigan's screams all night long as company. I couldn't sleep with that sound ringing in my ears. If I ever broke free from that room, I swore I would have hunted you down and separated your head from your body. Without question."

Chandler perceived himself as an overall friendly extrovert who could be bothered offering kindness to anyone that didn't deny his hand of friendship. He was the life of the party and welcomed the adoration, which made his interests of theater in his high school days reasonable. A temper tantrum and revealing the wrath wasn't synonymous with Chandler's personality, but as guarded as he is with emotions, he experienced them ten times stronger than most. "You were a suffocating presence in my life, Douglas. There was this," His hand hovered to the side of his temple, indicating his head, "This noise I couldn't silence. Your voice and her screaming repeating over and over like that fucking recording. I wanted to die. Believe me, those thoughts crossed my mind while I laid there in my bed. Shivering one night and sweating the next." The man's expression grew somber for a flicker and then drained completely of anything. "I was taunted by the pair of scissors in my desk drawer. The letter opener on my desk Dezzie gave me for my sixteenth birthday, it'd be that easy ending my suffering and spiting you in the process."

Another unspoken secret not even his psuedo sister knew and had she, it would break her heart surely. "I fought for Morrigan to stay alive, so I bided my time obediently. I knew the moment that diploma landed in my hand, I was gone. Away from Hedgestone, away from my responsibilities, from you. Running was the only option I had. Still...you didn't break me how you wanted." It sounded falsely confident and certainly, the sake of his self-esteem depended on faking until he could make it, and providing Douglas the gratification wouldn't ever materialize. "Then I arrive home to hear you and Dezzie perished in a car bombing. While my brother's death caused ripples of mourning in the community, yours was met with no deserving fanfare. As they say, the kingdoms never weep when the villain falls."

Chandler dropped to one knee beside the bag and unzipped it, removing the only object contained within and rising to a standing position. The brand new sledgehammer he purchased for this specific visit came highly recommended by the hardware store he purchased it from. The clerk clearly knew who he was the moment Chandy strutted through the door and was right forgoing asking questions as to why a Urie elite required the piece of equipment. "No one lights a candle to remember you, Douglas. No one prays while your corpse rots, certainly not me." Chandler gripped the handle and inspected the metal piece attached to the top thoroughly, "I want you to know the punchline. That boy you mutilated and tossed in the river like garbage, the name you thought you beat from your daughter, wasn't the one Morrigan was seeing. His name's Julian Reese."

Chandler raised the sledgehammer over his shoulder, uttering the small sweet victory, "You lose." The mallet's first forward swing landed right in the middle of the epitaph, poetically making contact on Douglas' name. The satisfaction instantly shot down his spine and slowly traveled from limb to limb. A euphoric experience exploding from pent up aggression and placing feelings underneath the floorboards. He lifted the hammer and struck the stone again with a forceful grunt, sending substantial sizes of rock flying every which way. It was a miracle he wasn't hit by anything, but he didn't stop there. Watching Julian take out his rage on a batting cage sparked the idea and he wasn't pulling his shots with losing complete control like the other did. While Julian feared the strength of his anger, Chandy thrived on his. The hammer created contact several times, enlarging the cracks along the surface.

The pedestal in which the tombstone sat on finally gave way with Chandler taking a small step backwards as the remaining pieces collapsed in on itself and sent the angel toppling to the grass, shattering in two pathetic slivers. There is a certain beauty when destruction happens, chaos St. Cascadia brings out in its citizens. That even the most civilized man like him could become monstrous when facing a tormentor. If Chandler cannot kill Douglas, he would erase the last piece of the Urie patriarch's identity. "No one will remember you now, bitch." Shooting a middle finger at what was left of the gravestone, Chandy stuffed the sledgehammer back inside the duffle and looped his arm through the straps.

As Chandler moved away from the ruins after a long minute staring at what he created, he stopped at another gravestone that wouldn't suffer the same fate by a million years. "Hi, Dezzie. Don't mind the mess beside you. Though, if we're being a hundred percent honest, you were always a witness to mine. This is one I don't want you cleaning." The wrath previously dissipated and melancholy formed in its place. A heavy heart. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for the funeral. You'd want me not blaming myself, but the second I leave, I lost you. I was supposed to be at your side and I wasn't, Dez. I was supposed to protect you and I couldn't because of my cowardice. We needed you." Chandler did his best pushing back the tears no matter how they stung. "I still need you." The sentence hung in the air. "But I'll protect her like we've always done and I will spend every day making you proud. I promise." He reached out a hand and placed it on top of the stone.

"I love you, big brother."

And somehow by design, Chandler almost sensed Desmond saying it back.

[kurosaaki]

CH. 1 - BLACK LIPSTICK, VIOLET LACE.

TW (+16): SMUT— teasing, semi-public sex, praising, reader and mikasa fight for dominance, god(ess) complex.

Word count: 3.3K

A/N: i’m back into writing again—fresh new start. i needed to re-take this series again. i couldn’t resist leaving blvl mikasa. she was haunting me. enjoy ;)

A woman has her enchants.

Mikasa Ackerman is no exception.

She is the definition of captivating—and she knew that. She used that fact like it was the last bullet on her gun, the same arrow that she used to hunt, the knife she sharpened each day after fulfilling her duty: devouring her miserable prey.

Beautiful, plump lips and captivating onyx eyes that made every man and woman put their attention on her, angelic voice making them fall in love just how a siren could bring every men to their knees as her ethereal voice sounded on their ears, and a breathtaking body that could've fallen from heaven itself.

So many delicate features for a merciless woman like her.

But she had something more up her sleeve. If her captivating looks couldn't make you fall on your knees for her, she had something that not so many people owned.

Her aura.

Something about her presence made everyone feel vulnerable. Their voices stuttered, so many eyes tried to avoid hers, their bodies sweated, feeling afraid enough to not approach her unless she wanted to. They were mere pawns on her little game, innocent humans that didn't know what spell she could cast on them to make them go obsessed with her.

And she did this all for the simple purpose of feeling her blood pump on her heart with so much explosiveness, to draw a devilish smile on her soft lips, to have anyone at her mercy and to treate them as how they deserved—as slaves for her.

There was only one person that she couldn't handle how she wanted to, and that made her furious but at the same time, she felt desire.

Desire to hunt that prey—to take their freedom away and make them succumb to her spell, to watch them squirm under her, to turn them into her slave and make them know that she's the only one they could ever serve.

And that person was you.

You were so fucking careless it made her blood boil everytime she saw you ignoring her when she moved around you, the fact that you were the only one that couldn't fall for her was stupid. she made sure to use every spell she knew to haunt you and make you go obsessed with her, she wasn't going to let you ignore her.

She couldn't handle it, but she put a smile on her face, waving at you every single day and talking with you when she had the chance. After some time, she started to think that you were the one who haunted her.

She didn't care anymore for any of her pawns. she let them live without having to adore her every day—some of them left her side, but most of them stayed around her like her little pets.They wanted to touch her, to kiss her, to feel her.

Little did they know that the only one who could do that to her was you. And she was going to do everything she could to have you between her legs as soon as possible.

She was hungry, and she craved having your lips against hers.

What she didn't notice was that you knew that she wanted you as bad as you wanted her. In fact, her magic worked on you—she was the main character in your dreams every night when you fell asleep, she showed you what she wanted to do to you in the most merciless ways, always leaving you wanting more after you woke up.

The sexual tension between you two was so obvious to everyone else, even to mikasa's fans, which were furious with the fact that you could taste her whenever you wanted. and Mikasa was waiting for you to make the first move.

And you did.

Slamming the bathroom door with just the two of you there, bodies touching and her black eyes greedily looking at your mouth, biting her black lipstick lips and smirking at the thought of what was about to happen—that's what made you smack your lips furiously against hers.

She smiled against the kiss, seconds before she took the lead and grabbed your hips to pull you close to her, putting her left leg in the middle of your thighs to have you at your mercy. but you had other plans.

Your fingers touched softly her exposed thighs while she kissed you, now slowly, taking her time with you and exploring every inch of your mouth. fingertips making contact with her little black skirt, your positioned your hand under the skirt, touching her ass cheek—which made her chuckle as you massaged it.

"This is what you wanted, wasn't it?" breath against your neck, licking her lips slowly before trailing wet kisses from your jawline to your collarbone, "To touch me and have my lips against yours, huh".

"Mhmm" you murmured before capturing her lips again. something about them made you want more and more every time you abandoned them. "Bet you wanted this, too. how does it feel having exactly what you want whenever you desire it?"

"I can't lie" she said, exhaling deeply as now you were taking your time with her, trailing down your kisses from her pretty lips to her neckline "It feels amazing".

Tugging the hem of her black top, your eyes connected to hers, expecting her reaction to your needy action. She smiled again and taking off her top, your vision went straight to her perky breasts cupped on a beautiful violet lace bra.

You could've knelt in front of her at that exact moment, you could've shown her that you were another slave for her and that you were there to please her and nothing more—but you weren't going to do that.

Instead, you smirked. mikasa already knew you were going to be hard to control, or even better, to dominate. You were just as wild and free as she was, tough and difficult to approach but an excellent hunter—always saving the best part of the meal for the end. And she knew you were going to use her. you both were aware of the fact that it was a battle between two hungry and wild beasts.

"Wearing lace to class?" you muttered, pressing your lips on her breasts and making her breath hitch "So naughty" you smiled, smacking her ass and making her moan.

You felt your blood rush through your veins after hearing for the first time what Mikasa's moans sounded like. a whimper of pleasure followed by a grin that made you lose control—that was the only thing you needed to prove that this was real, that you were really going to fuck Mikasa Ackerman, the merciless woman who had everyone behind her back trying to touch her like you were doing it right now, to make her moan like you just did and to show her heaven—or hell—over and over again.

This time you were the one grabbing her hips and cornering her against the wall. You gently touched her already wet cunt, stimulating her clit and seeing her legs shake with excitement. a few breathy moans left her lips when you slid one finger inside of her, and her whimpers stopped when you pressed your lips against hers. Her tongue slowly explored your mouth, and you just couldn't help but imagine how good she must be using that muscle between your thighs.

"Someone may hear us if you keep moaning like that" you whispered, breaking the kiss and prepping her to receive your second finger "So keep your mouth shut"

In another life, maybe one where you would be one of her dear followers, you would be dead by now if you ever said that to her.

No one had the guts to tell her what to do. she earned such a high reputation, everyone respected her even if they weren't interested in her—which was weird. You were with her or against her, it was your choice to stay or to leave.

"It'll be your fault anyways" she said trying to catch her breath. She had slept with so many people yet the only one who was making her feel so excited and horny was you. She wondered how the hell she lived until this day without having someone who knew how to touch her the way a woman like her deserved.

"My fault?" you raised an eyebrow at her statement "Don’t act like you weren't the one haunting my dreams since you decided to be obsessed with me"

She chuckled, but not for so long as you finally slid your second finger inside of her, making her whimper. You were the one chuckling now.

"Oh, so you knew about that" caressing your face just to kiss you again, Mikasa felt how her orgasm was about to appear. you pumped your fingers inside her in a way that she couldn't describe—it was just how she liked it "F-fuck, how are you so good at this?"

"You could say that i memorized every single one of your weak points while you were in my dreams—i guess it's working"

Mikasa threw her head back, sign that you took to kiss her exposed neck and keep the stimulation going down between her thighs. you imagined how she would look after reaching her orgasm—would she just close her eyes and smile, knowing that she got what she wanted? would she bite her lip? would she exhale?

You wanted to know.

Your left hand caressed her body from her breasts to her thick thighs, taking your time to remember with all of your senses her body, her touch and her angelic moans. Never in your entire life you could've imagined this exact scenario happening. Not here, not now, not with her. You were still wondering how you ended up here, with your fingers inside of her, touching her body and kissing her soft lips.

"S-shit!" she muttered, black eyes watering from the waves of pleasure she was feeling with your movements and soft kisses on her neck "I’m gonna-“

Speeding up your finger movements, your thumb made slow, deadly movements on her clit. For the first time in her life, Mikasa was lost in the pleasure you were giving her. she knew you were going to be a deadly prey, the most difficult yet the worthiest one. The black-haired woman didn't care anymore if she was looking too vulnerable.

This is what she wanted.

And the game just started, it was her turn to move.

Seconds after her warning, you felt her walls clenching on your fingers and her soft little whimpers made you realize she just reached her climax. You just made her cum for the first time, she practically was yours now.

Which meant that she was hunted by her own objective. now, you were the one with power and she was the weak and poor beast that was trapped.

She looked so peaceful, so angelic and tired. Astrand of hair on her face covered her eyes and you could even see a faint blush on her cheeks. Her eyes were closed, her breath was calm and she seemed to be tired after her first real orgasm.

That's at least what you thought.

"Take off your fucking clothes, right now"

You arched an eyebrow at her command, but you obeyed and all of your clothes were on the floor in just a second.

Her face was now as serious as always, she didn't look like she was squirming and reaching her orgasm a minute ago thanks to your fingers. she wasn't the same—it was like there were two different versions of her.

The first one was the one who whimpered and moaned your name a few minutes ago, clenching around your fingers and grinding her hips to search for her own pleasure. The soft and calm version after her climax and the peaceful look on her face made you think she was the one being hunted.

The second version of herself was the real one. The one you saw everyday. The stoic, serious and bossy side of mikasa ackerman. That was her real identity, the thing that made her so desirable and followed.

Mikasa's mischievous chuckle brought you back to reality and your sight went down to where she was: on her knees, pulling your panties aside and having a hungry look on her face.

That was the real Mikasa Ackerman—the one with the hungry and lust-filled eyes.

Her index finger teased your entrance, making your hips move to cause some friction to relieve that eagerness, which made Mikasa laugh and finally introduce her finger inside you, after stimulating your clit and making sure you were wet for her.

"Look at how wet you are," she smirked, "is this all for me, huh?"

You silently closed your eyes, avoiding her question and just focusing on the amazing feeling of having her inside of you, even if it was just her finger—that was enough for you to get lost.

"Keep your eyes open, baby" she said, moving her finger and pumping it inside of you "I wanna see your pretty eyes cry for me"

You would never cry for a woman like her. You never cried for anyone who didn't deserve it, and even if you did, you still felt like it wasn't okay. Mikasa Ackerman wasn't worthy of your tears, she wasn't worthy of your body but she already had you exactly how she wanted. She lost her ego just to see you like this, she used every single spell she knew to have you squirm under her touch and prayed for your attention.

She looked for the prey, and she found it—simple as that.

Her face was now between your legs, she removed her finger to use both of her hands to grab your thighs and spread your legs wide enough to let her tongue lay on your wet cunt, savouring your juices and finally eating her prey—you—out. Gasping, you quickly felt how her tongue movements were painfully making you fall for her.

"Please, Mikasa" you whispered “Give me more!"

How could someone like her be so good at making you beg for more?

That was so pathetic. Watching you beg for her was awful, you shouldn't let her know that she was handling you better than you could.

Mikasa didn't obey because you wanted to—She did it for her own pleasure. She ate you out like it was the last thing she was going to do, she made sure to drive you crazy and to bring you heaven and hell at the same time just for you.

She was excited to make you hers, to have you as her most precious soul and touch you over and over again until you both were tired. She never felt this way for someone before, and she didn't want to pressure herself: whatever she wants, regardless of how and when, she was going to have it and she didn't care if she didn't deserve it or if it was impossible.

When Mikasa Ackerman wants something, she always gets it.

You whispered her name and begged for her a billion times to let you cum, to release all the tension that was building up thanks to her tongue and to set free. She loved hearing you beg for her, it was her favorite thing and she wished to hear that not only in that moment, but in other ones too. She wasn't going to leave you alone after this.

You were completely hers, you knew it, and she did too.

"Lemme cum, mikasa" you begged again, feeling that familiar knot in your lower stomach building up "Please, I just want that"

Her tongue licked your clit up a few more times before she decided to introduce her two fingers inside of you. You didn't even notice it, as she continued to eat you out while pumping her fingers inside of you.

At that moment, you didn't care if someone could hear you. even if there wasn't anyone in the bathroom at that moment, you weren't going to suppress your moans. You were too fucked up to shut your mouth, and, to be honest, you wanted to enjoy this moment.

"Faster, please—go faster!"

Mikasa fell in love with your moans. It was her favorite melody and she was so fucking proud to be the one making you feel so good.

"Almost there, baby" she smiled "You’re such a good girl for me. So pretty...you're so fucking perfect for me, fuck"

You let out a high-pitched moan after hearing her, and you weren't far from reaching your climax. Your breath was erratic and your eyes half-closed: mikasa's perfect view.

At one point, you questioned why you were there. Why you were getting fucked by her and what did you do to her. That last thing was something you wished to know, because she could have anyone she wants and she decided to be with you right now. You tried to not think about it, as your orgasm was about to hit you like a truck.

"Oh, you're coming?" she removed her fingers and started eating you out again "Fuck it—that's it (y/n), come for me”.

“M-Mikasa!” you trembled.

“C’mon, baby, you can do it”

Just seconds after she gave you permission to do it, you reached your long awaited orgasm. and in fact, it did hit you like a truck. Her tongue was full of your juices, and Mikasa couldn't be happier about it. She finally did what she wanted most: to make you hers. Watching you cum all over her tongue was something she day dreamed of every single day, and she finally got that.

She wasn't sure about what was going to happen next. But what she knew is that you couldn't escape each other now.

The game ends when she decides it.

Kissing you one more time, she gently touched your body, appreciating you in that vulnerable state of bliss and absolute pleasure. Her kisses were now sweet and soft like a feather, nothing like her hungry, desperate ones a few moments ago. She had you all by herself now, and instead of ruining you forever, she decided to keep you and take care of you, just like how you deserved it.

Mikasa was never one for relationships before. She found them gross and a turn-off. But she couldn't deny the fact that she started thinking about that term when she met you and saw that you were her type. She wasn't bothered by the thought of you being everyday with her. To be honest, she craved more of you now that she already tasted you.

You quickly dressed yourself up as the bathroom door opened. freaking out, Mikasa also put her black top on and fixed her skirt, as well with her black hair. On the other hand, you looked like a fucking mess in front of her.

Minutes after hearing the bathroom door opening, it finally closed, meaning that you were alone again now.

"You were good, (y/n). I liked that'' she confessed, a smile on her face and looking at you while you buttoned up your shirt. She chuckled.

"You too, Ackerman" you smiled, still a bit lost and feeling ecstatic "You should go to you class now, we don't want someone suspecting about us"

She nodded, and giving you another kiss on your lips, she got out of the bathroom. But before that, she made sure to let you know that this wasn't going to be the last time you did something like this. She craved for more and of course, she's going to get what she wants.

When you finally fixed yourself up, you checked yourself in the mirror to see if something was out of place.

Fuck!

A stain.

Jet black lipstick on your white shirt.

Mikasa Ackerman’s signature lipstick color on you now permanently.

Same black lipstick that made you kiss her until you were breathless.

And a short, violet thread on your arm.

Same violet color lace bra that was the trap that made you a sinner.

She’s always going to be the one having everyone at her mercy, and you weren't the exception.

[watchmegetobsessed]

DIZZY

A/N: merry christmas my loves! i know it's just the 24th but this is considered christmas for me lmao. so today is day one of my triple holiday update, meaning that i have two more fics coming out in the next two days! hope you'll enjoy them and have a great time with your family, loved ones, whoever you're celebrating with!🥰

PAIRING: doctor!Harry Styles X Reader

WORD COUNT: 3.3k

masterlist

This fic is part of ❄️ FANFICmas 2021 ❄️ Read more about fanficmas here!

This is pretty typical, who else would end up like this? Spending Christmas Eve at the hospital because you fell down the stairs while being wine drunk, spending the evening alone since you just threw out a week ago your cheating boyfriend. You were supposed to spend tonight at Martin’s parents so you could spend the 25th with your family. It was all planned and you were looking forward to it… right until you found another woman’s nudes in his phone and at first he denied it, but he couldn’t lie enough to convince you of his innocence so he gave up and admitted everything.

You didn’t have the courage to tell your family, so they are still expecting the two of you to show up tomorrow, that’s why you chose to chug a whole bottle of white wine and get drunk. It would have been fine, crying some, watching a movie and falling into bed either ridiculously early or at sunrise. But you fucked it up. Your apartment has this awfully steep set of stairs leading up to the bedroom and your fuzzy socks slipped at the top of the stairs, you flew right down, screaming for your life as you fell face down and hit your head pretty badly.

Your neighbor, Amir heard you and came to your rescue. He was the one who told you to get your head checked, you could easily have a concussion. At first you tried to play it off, but you could barely get up from the floor without the world spinning around you. Being the angel that he is, he drove you to the hospital and told you to call him if you need a ride home, but you won’t bother him any longer so you’ll probably call an Uber to get home.

So now you’re sitting in the waiting area of the emergency room as part of the biggest holiday losers in the city. There are burnt hands and faces, sprained ankles and there’s a whole ass family and from where you’re sitting two of them had a fight at dinner and someone’s nose broke.

And here you are, trying not to fall off the chair because your head is still spinning. You’ve been here for an hour, at this point you’ve memorized the names of all the nurses on duty: Brenda, Stella, Lucy and Norah.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket and pulling out you see your sister’s name on the screen. She sent a photo into the family group chat, a nice picture of her and her husband with their daughter who just turned one. They look so damn cute and disgustingly happy. You’d be fine with it normally, but not after what Martin did to you, turning you into a bitter single woman right before the holidays.

“Cool, can’t wait for their pity to hit me tomorrow,” you growl, sending a heart emoji as your answer before locking the phone and putting it away.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” Nurse Stella calls out and you get so excited it’s finally your turn that you jump to your feet, but that’s the worst you could do.

“Woah,” you breathe out as the whole room starts spinning and you feel like you’re gonna lose balance any moment. You hear the nurses call out to each other when they see you and before you could meet the ground for a second time tonight, two strong arms catch you.

“Easy, Miss Y/L/N,” a smooth, husky voice with a thick British accent speaks up and it definitely belongs to the arms that are holding you.

It takes a few moments to clear your vision and see the ridiculously handsome man helping you up to your feet. He is wearing blue scrubs and a white coat with a nametag on it that reads “Dr. Styles”.

“Um, thanks,” you mumble with a nervous laugh as you’re standing on your feet again.

“Alright, let’s get you in there to have a look at you,” he hums gently, one hand on your waist as he holds yours with his other, walking you into the first room in the hallway. He takes you to a chair next to his desk, helping you sit before his hands let go of you.

He looks unfairly sexy, doctors shouldn’t be this hot, because how can you focus on anything about your health when all you can think about is him? He looks a bit older than you, but not more than thirty-five probably, a gentle stubble adorning his face that has a friendly smile stretched across his face.

“I’m Dr. Harry Styles, I’ll be making sure you’re alright tonight,” he smiles, peeking at your papers you filled out when you arrived. “Y/N Y/L/N.” You love the way your name rolls down your tongue. “Can I call you Y/N? Or do you want to stick to Miss Y/L/N?”

“Y/N is fine,” you manage to speak up, sounding a tad bit out of breath. He shoots you a small smile before turning back to your papers, giving it a good read.

“So, tell me what happened exactly.”

“I, uhh… I fell down the stairs,” you clear your throat, feeling your cheeks heating up.

“How did that happen?” he asks with a concerned look on his face as he is now looking at you instead of your papers. You can tell he is thinking that it wasn’t just a coincidence.

“Oh, I was just… Alright, I’ve had some wine tonight and my fuzzy socks were extremely slippery, so I slipped and fell down the stairs. My neighbor heard me screaming and he brought me in.”

Dr. Styles seems amused by your story, a cheeky smirk is tugging on his pink lips. He scribbles down something to your file before rolling closer to sit in front of you.

“Okay, let’s check if you have a concussion. Did you throw up?”

He holds up his little lamp, checking both your eyes and you try to ignore how you just want to melt into his hand that’s holding the side of your head to keep you in place.

“No, I’ve just been feeling dizzy.”

“Does your head hurt? Where did you hit it?”

“Here,” you sigh running a finger over the side of your head, a small bump already forming on it. Harry inspects it gently, humming to himself before writing a few more things into your file.

“Okay, I think you don’t have a concussion, but the way you collapsed was a bit concerning. So I want you to stay here for the night, just to make sure you’re fine and you can leave in the morning.”

“Oh…”

“Do you need to be somewhere?” he asks without looking up, he just keeps writing.

“No, not until tomorrow. Well, I wouldn’t mind if I stayed tomorrow as well,” you add mumbling.

“Don’t want to see your family?”

“Usually I do, but now I’m gonna have to tell them that my boyfriend cheated on me and that’s why I showed up alone.”

You have no idea why you just said it, he is a total stranger, he doesn’t need to know how big of a loser you are, but you just couldn’t help it.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” The way he furrows his eyebrows is just so adorable, you want to kiss him so badly. “This is an awfully bad time to be alone,” he hums and you nod awkwardly. “Well, you won’t be alone tonight now, I’ll… make sure to check on you often,” he smiles at you swear you forget to breathe for a moment as you nod, completely stunned by him.

Nurse Brenda walks you to a room where you’ll spend the night at, sharing it with a woman in her forties who got taken in with a broken leg. She introduces herself as Celine and she is actually great company. The nurses lend you some clothes you can sleep in and you’ve barely just settled down when Dr. Styles shows up again and your heart skips a beat.

“Hey, everything okay?” he smiles at you, walking closer to your bed before greeting Celine as well shortly.

“Yeah, I’m feeling just fine,” you nod with a nervous smile.

“Still feeling dizzy?”

“Just a bit.” And it’s mostly because of him, but you keep that to yourself.

“Hopefully it’ll go away soon. I’ll be around if you feel worse, just call the nurse station.”

“Thank you, Dr. Styles,” you blink at him with a small smile.

“Alright, take care, ladies,” he smiles at you and Celine before walking out of the room.

“Woah, he was… sexy!” Celine gasps.

“Right? I can barely get a word out when he is around,” you chuckle.

“I think he likes you too.”

“What? Come on, no!” you scoff shaking your head.

“Oh he does. And if he comes in to check on you another time in the next hour he is definitely into you,” she grins before turning back towards the TV.

You don’t believe Celine. There’s no way this sexy doctor could be interested in you beyond just his job which is to make sure you’re okay.

But then he shows up again.

Two times.

Celine can barely hold her laughter back when Dr. Styles walks in for the second time in the next about one and a half hour just to check in on you. With your state and how well you’re feeling it’s totally unnecessary to come by your room this often, so you start to think that there’s something else behind his nice act.

It’s sometime after one am when you dare to wander out of your room. You can’t sleep, the unknown atmosphere totally throwing you off so you opt for a little walk around the floor.

“Everything alright, darling?” One of the nurses asks you.

“Oh, yeah, I just can’t sleep, is all,” you shrug smiling.

“Would you like some medication to help you?” she offers, but you decline.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

The hallways are quiet and empty, most patients on the floor are sleeping, only the nurses are walking from one room to the other, checking in on some patients. Rounding the corner you find the waiting area where friends and family can usually linger around, but now it’s empty. You plop down to one of the cushioned chairs and reach for a magazine on the table, mindlessly flipping through it. It’s old, from years ago and you try not to think about how many people have touched it.

“You should be resting in your room.”

Your head snaps up at the familiar voice, finding Dr. Styles walking towards you with a cup of steaming coffee in his hands.

“Oh, I’m just… I have trouble sleeping at unfamiliar places.”

“You can get some meds for that.”

“I know, but… it’s alright,” you just shrug. He finally arrives to you and takes the chair next to you. “On a break?”

“Kind of,” he chuckles. “You just use the quiet minutes to have a break before hell breaks loose again.”

“Must be really tiring. I always admired doctors for their dedication.”

“Some can’t deal with it, but I feel like I’m alright for now,” he smiles at you, taking a sip from the coffee. “I hope you’re not restless because of your ex.”

“Um, I would love to say it doesn’t bother me anymore, but that would be a blatant lie,” you chuckle awkwardly, dropping the magazine back to the table as you lean back in your seat.

“He must be a real asshole to do that. Especially to such a pretty young woman,” he smirks at you and your heart skips a beat again. This man has you wrapped around his fingers.

“You’re saying that as if you are decades older than me,” you huff smiling.

“How old do you think I am?”

“How old do you think I am?” you ask back.

“I hope you do realize that I’ve seen your personal info in your papers and it had your date of birth as well,” he chuckles and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Okay, then how old did you think I was before you sneakily saw my age? I’ll tell you too after.”

“Alright, I was guessing about twenty-three.”

“But I’m actually twenty-five,” you smile, stating the obvious he already knows. “I guessed you no more than thirty-five, but you seem younger than that actually.”

“I’m turning thirty-three in February,” he answers with a warm smile. Okay, so that’s a total of seven years of age difference, that’s not bad at all.

“And how does your wife like your night shifts?”

It’s a sneaky question, not as sneaky as you would have liked to mask your interest in his relationship status, but it’s only fair if you know it after you eagerly shared yours earlier.

Harry eyes you with an amused smile before shaking his head slightly.

“I don’t have a wife. Not even a girlfriend actually.”

“Oh, then something must be wrong with you. No way a man like you is single!” you gasp dramatically and at this point, you’re openly flirting with him. There’s no use of hiding it, especially because you’re convinced you’ll never see him again once you leave in the morning.

“A man like me? What does that mean?”

“Smart, successful, funny and incredibly hot.”

“Wow,” he chuckles, a rosy tint adorning his cheeks and you like the thought of making him blush. “You don’t beat around the bush! You surely feel better because you could barely speak earlier,” he teases you, making you laugh.

“Just shooting my shot at the hot doctor.”

“Are you just fishing for a new date to bring home to your family?”

“Oh, that’s actually a great idea!” you gasp, but he just chuckles. “Are you free tomorrow?”

The question is half a joke and half serious. You realize that it’s a little too much to ask from him, bringing him home to your family as a first date, but part of you can’t help but imagine what it would be like to walk in, tell your family that Martin cheated on you, but it’s all good because you’re dating this hot doctor now.

He opens his mouth to answer, but then something buzzes in his pocket and he is quick to check it.

“Sorry, I have to run now. Please, try to sleep a little, you need to rest,” he gently smiles at you as he stands from the chair, chugs his coffee down and rushes away fast, leaving you hanging.

You don’t see Harry for the rest of the night and you manage to fall asleep a little after two, only to be woken up at six by the nurses bringing breakfast. Another doctor arrives soon to check you and finalize your release and you’re actually disappointed you haven’t seen Harry since your little chat.

Just when you’re dressed, gathering your things, saying goodbye to Celine, a familiar figure appears at the door. Harry is still wearing his scrubs and coat, he looks undeniably tired, but still so handsome it’s unfair.

“Heard you’re clear to go,” he smiles at you as you grab your bag and walk closer to him.

“Yeah. Thank you for everything.”

“Let me… Let me walk you out,” he offers and he definitely seems a bit nervous. You nod and the two of you head out side by side.

“You owe me an answer,” you smirk at him teasingly.

“I do,” he chuckles breathily. “But I’m afraid I don’t have one for you.”

“You don’t have one because you don’t know whether you want to see me again or not, or because…?”

“I’m gonna be honest, I haven’t been on a date in so long, I’m not even sure I know how to do it,” he admits with a nervous laugh. “You’re… an incredible woman, Y/N. And I would love to see you again, I’m just… not sure if I’m ready for it. I spend most of my time here, working, I’m afraid it’s not the right time.”

“That’s fine,” you smile at him and you do understand his reasons. Still, you’re a bit bummed you won’t be seeing him again. “But if you change your mind, feel free to check my address in my files. I’m leaving for family dinner at four,” you add with a cheeky wink.

“Okay,” he chuckles softly. “Take care, Y/N.”

“You too, Dr. Styles.”

“Harry. It’s just… Call me Harry.”

“Harry,” you say, tasting the name on your tongue. “Happy holidays,” you smile before walking out through the automatic sliding doors. You glance back one last time, seeing Harry still standing at the same spot as he waves after you. Returning it you turn back around and head home.

Thanks to the eventful night and the lack of sleep, you opt to spend most of the day napping. The dizziness is finally gone and you’re feeling just fine, only have a little lump on your head, but your hair is hiding that perfectly. When you wake up you throw together a quick brownie that you promised your mom you’d bring and then you get ready to at least look like a presentable loser at the dinner. You’re truly not in the mood to answer all kinds of questions about Martin, the best would be if you could just stuff your face in peace and come back home and chug another bottle of wine alone.

You’re already getting ready to leave when your doorbell rings and you freeze. Could it be…?

You rush to the door and peek out through the peephole and your jaw drops to the floor when you see Harry on the other side.

“Dr. Styles!” you greet him eagerly as you throw the door open. “I mean, Harry,” you correct yourself quickly, making him laugh. He’s changed the white coat and blue scrubs to a pair of black slacks and a red sweater under his coat and you can’t ignore the fact that he is holding onto a bouquet of supermarket flowers he probably picked up on his way here.

“Hey, I hope… I hope it’s not weird that I’m here,” he chuckles awkwardly.

“I told you to use my address freely,” you smile at him. “How can I help you? I hope you didn’t come here to check in on me.”

“No,” he lets out a laugh. “I’m actually… I thought about it… I thought about you and I realized that I was stupid. So I’m here to make it up and if you still want me to, I would love to be your date today.”

Your eyes widen at his offer, you were definitely not expecting this turn of events.

“What? You really want to meet my family?”

“If it’s alright,” he shrugs chuckling. “I know it’s not the best idea for a first date, but I… I want to help you. And my male pride will not let you go home on your own after what your ex did to you.”

“That’s really nice, but I wouldn’t want to throw you in front of my whole family just like that. Have you even slept since you left the hospital?”

“I had a trip home, took a nice nap, that’s enough for me to last this one evening,” he smiles at you and you don’t doubt him.

“You can come with me, but under one condition.”

“And what is that?”

“We come back here and you’re gonna sleep. I will not be the reason you turn into a zombie.” The coy smile on your face is a tell for him that there might be a bit more than just sleeping, though you’re serious about that.

“I can work with that,” he chuckles softly. “So, do we have a deal?”

“Yeah, let me grab my coat and we can leave. And I’ll give you a quick lesson about my family before I throw you in front of the wolves.”

“I’ll take notes,” he smirks at you before you head out to your car.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[metaladam]

" No one is innocent. Not children, not me, not you, not even Sera and the other big wigs."

She was getting angry and so was he, the way she spoke reminded him of himself at one point. It was as if he'd taken a time machine or something. He'd need to try and keep his cool, this was a seraphim after all, and he had grown fond of her lately.

Still, the panging in his skull was driving him mad. The frat boy persona he so often clung to fell away as he was forced to argue with someone he could not order away or mock.

" You have spent a lot of time up here in Heaven, Emily. Looking after the needs of angels, and you do a fine job at keeping this place happy. You have not lived as a a mortal for 930 years though, you have not watched the world turn into a beautiful place with creatures living their lives until it was time to give back to the Earth, only to see it gradually fill up with warring factions, those factions turning into civilizations who cater to the few and the weak are trampled and discarded like trash. Families living happy lives growing crops only to have raiders take the land, rape the women and sell them into slavery, and sacrifice the men to false gods. I have seen men impoverished because they did their duty, neglecting their home life to serve in an army in distant places, returning home to find their estate in a place of disrepair, in debt and starving, only able to save themselves and their children by selling their land to the same fucking person they just fought for.

You have not seen the rape, the murder, the lies, the abuses, the complete and other degradation of man! You have not looked as deep as you can into the abyss and KNOW that the only reason it exists is because of the mistake YOU made! That all the evil and suffering in the world came from your mistake, because you were too naive and trusting! I have watched the madness invoked my descendants for many millennia, I have suffered for it to no end! If these are MY children that means they are pieces of me! That means I am the one doing all this! I am the one who has committed all the vile acts of humanity in the world! Or rather I am the only one to take responsibility for it! Where is my ex wife?! GONE! Off to skip around and forget all her troubles!

Where are the beings who abused their power on me?! I was a freshly made soul! I had the mind of a child and Lucifer came out of nowhere and inserted himself into EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE! He corrupted both of my wives and DAMNED ALL OF US simply because he could! And where is his punishment? To live in Hell? BAH! He is the fucking King, he lives in a fantasy world so far away from the consequences of his actions! HE IS LOVED! HE HAS A PARTNER WHO LOVES AND SUPPORTS HIM AND A CHILD! HE HAS A FUCKING FAMILY THAT LOVES HIM WHEN HE BROKE THE FUCKING RULES! WHEN HE FUCKED WITH MY HEAD FOR NO FUCKING REASON!

Everyone else involved in this mistake, this abomination? They all got off free in their hearts, they get to live in their little fantasy world! They were rewarded! And the evil in the world gets to channel into fucking Hell! A place where justice can finally be served! A place where the worst parts of me can suffer and finally face the consequences of their actions! Where I am not some? WAIT BUT NO! Now they have 'overlords' who get some kinda power, who can control resources and make fucking businesses and money? They have cities! They have clubs! They have the fucking internet! Hell is not a place for sinners....its just a fucking big ass city! Its New York! Its Chicago! Its Rome! Its Nineveh! Its Babylon! They don't suffer down there anymore then some random dude living on Bourbon Street! There is no justice in Hell! Hellborn demons have gone from punishers to the punished! They don't rule Pride, they have become minorities and an oppressed class and the Goetia eat that shit up!

There is no JUSTICE in the world! NONE! Not even in the purest fucking form! Just a bunch of ideas no one sticks to! Laws are not taken seriously, this whole world is fucked up! SO YES! I want to correct it! I want to make things right and I am tired of being held back by Seraphim who are so separated from the struggles of mortality they could never hope to lecture me on anything about right or wrong! This whole existence is a mistake! A mistake I contributed the most to and I want to make amends! I want to do my part in fixing it! Someone has to! I can not bare to hear another story about a child taken from their home to be used for evil purposes! A civilization that claims to be upright and stand for morals and Godliness only to hide behind smokescreens each time another land is obliterated by their proxies and contractors. A church that lines its own pockets instead of helping others! That builds there grand cathedrals to intimidate the masses they are meant to help. ALL OF THESE INSTITUITONS WEARING MY FACE!

I'll die before I contribute to this complete lack of accountability! This abortion of divinity! I'll fall and throw myself on a holy spear before I become someone who just maintains this! Everything is rotten! The world is a dark and twisted place with no redemption! There is no free will! There is no hope! Not as long as this continues!"

The seraph stood there silent, eyes closed, her hands clenched into fists.

Her wings opened up, trying to seem larger than she was, despite being rather small compared to him. Her face flushed golden in anger. "Why do you think they were 'pissing' themselves, Adam? Huh? Because you and your 'girls' fly down there and slaughter them every year! Do you think their fear is unwarranted? Look, I know there are evil demons. I am not completely blinded by my compassion, but not all of them are. Some of them are kind and are wanting to change. And children? Children are innocent, often forced to go through with heinous actions due to their parents. Some haven't done anything at all, like the hellborn who call Hell their home! They don't even have the luxury of a chance to even go to Heaven!" She shook her head, tears forming in her eyes.

"I....I was lucky enough to be born in Heaven. Why is it my life matters more than the ones who were unlucky to be born in Hell? Or human souls that were corrupted by someone else's actions!"

[idy-ll-ique]

My Little Secret.

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Innocent!F!Reader

Genre : Fluff, little bit of Angst

Warnings: none

Requested: nope

Summary: Y/N listens to music 24/7 on Spotify. At first Ransom is irritated, but now he knows just how to use the application to his benefit. I mean, come on, it can't be considered stalking if it's his wife, right?

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! oml a ransom drysdale fanfiction 😳 if I ever meet this asshole in real life I'd sock him in the jaw but in fiction? mamma mia. enjoy!

---

Does she really love an app more than me?

Ransom scoffed to himself as he opened his laptop, clicking on the music app, Spotify. He rarely used it, but his wife was obsessed with it. She listened to music 24/7; singing along to the soft tunes in her playlists while working, reading, cleaning, cooking, anything. Ransom thought it was insane how submerged she was in the activity.

Until that activity gave him an upper-hand in their relationship.

When he had first opened the app on his laptop, he was a tad bit surprised at the "Friends Activity" feature. He saw her account. Then, as more months passed, he started noticing how when she was happy, she'd always be listening to some happy playlist, when she was sad she'd be listening to sad songs, et cetera. And he started using it to his advantage.

Now, everyday before leaving his office he'd check the app to see what playlist she was listening to. If it was a happy, dance playlist, well and fine. But a sad one? Ransom's mood would also sour because my darling is not feeling okay. While going home, he'd buy something for her; mostly flowers or chocolates, or a nice little trinket that he'd find in the displays of shops that he thought his wife would enjoy.

He never told her about it. What he was doing would be considered stalking but come on, is it stalking if she's your wife? As the app finally loaded, his eyes immediately strayed to the Friends Activity and his heart clenched when he saw her listening to her sad playlist that she had named Melancholy. Sighing, he turned off the laptop and left his office for the night.

As he drove back home, he stopped outside a flower shop and bought an adorable little bouquet of mixed flowers. "She'll love it," the florist assured him, assuming he was buying it for his significant other. He gave her a quick smile and got back into the car, driving home as fast as he could. When he reached home, his heart broke at the sniffle he heard.

"Kitten?" Y/N's head shot up at her husband's voice as she hurriedly wiped her tears, getting up from her spot on the couch. "Hi, welcome home," she whispered, giving him a quick peck on the lips, smiling widely to avoid being caught. "Hello, how was your day?" He wanted to sigh, to chide her for keeping her bad mood from him, but he only smiled at how cute she looked trying to hide her true feelings.

"It wasn't bad! So, shower first and dinner later or dinner first?"

Now was the time. "Kitten, the truth, please. How was your day?" He raised a stern eyebrow when her face fell. How does he always read me so well? Knowing she couldn't hide now, she hung her head low as her shoulders sagged. "It was bad," she muttered. Ransom pulled her close, her head resting on his chest, his chin atop her head. "What happened? I swear if it's those fucking coworkers of yours—"

Her silence gave him the answer. The thing is, when Ransom and Y/N had started going out, everyone in the city was shocked. A cute, innocent little thing like her dating an asshole like him? Why? She had lost quite a few friends when she told them, but Ransom was there for her. "You don't need them, you have me." He was right. While the world saw him as a first-class jerk, he was the softest soul with her.

Her priorities were always placed before his. He took care of her, treated her like no previous boyfriend of hers had, and within 2 years of dating, he had proposed. People were even more shocked. She managed to get him to settle down?! How?! Then the gossip began. "He has to be cheating, I mean look at him. Look at her," she had heard one time after the engagement. That had made her super upset.

"Ransom, they're talking… someone said you were cheating on me…" She had broken down on his chest that night, crying her eyes out. And Ransom had immediately switched off the television. He sat up, holding her close. "You know I'd never do that, angel. Why would I, when you're with me? Do you really think those women out there have the same effect on me that you do? Huh?"

"Well, they said… they said I was ugly."

"What?! Those fucking whores—"

"Ransom, don't call them that," she had chided, swatting his chest. He caught the hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each fingertip. "If it makes you feel better, no, I'm not cheating on you. I love you a little too much to do that. You mean the world to me, Y/N, there's no one on this planet I'd rather be with than you. And you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen, in and out," he told her sincerely.

Her crying ceased. "Thank you." And he held her close the entire night, rubbing her back as she slept on him. People talking about him? He could handle that, God knows he had been handling that for years. But them talking about her? His perfect, angelic, goddess-like fiancée? No, no, he wouldn't handle that. That whole thing was 4 years ago. People still talked.

"What did they say to you, Y/N?" he asked, coming back to the real world.

"They asked me why I was still with you." He exhaled loudly through his nose when Y/N's arms tightened around him. "I told them I loved you. You are nice, you're not what everyone says you are. But then Amy talked about… about how you used to be— what was the word she used? Oh, uh, yeah, she said you were something of a Casanova before you met me. But I told her that was over."

His arms snaked around her waist, his fingers gently dancing over her hips as she continued speaking. "She insisted that people can't just change over a small period of time. I tried ignoring her but then she started gossiping with someone else about you. And then I snapped at her. But you know me…" Ransom hummed, pressing his lips to her forehead.

His wife had a docile soul. Everything from her looks to her mannerisms was soft. She couldn't yell, she couldn't tell people off— she was too pure to do that. The world needed people like her, to be honest. That was also one of the things he liked about her. Sometimes, he thought about how beneficial it would be for her to hold her own in a fight, but his ego shoved the thought down each time.

He liked being her big protector. He loved taking care of her like that. "Yes, I know, angel. You're too good for this world, you know that?" he mumbled, slightly pulling away from her so he could cup her face, looking into her eyes. She huffed and looked away. "I'm too soft. I can't help it. I don't want to be this way." He chuckled and leaned over to kiss her. "Oh no, you should definitely be this way."

"Why?"

"Because it suits you. Don't change for people who don't even care about you. I like you like this; gentle, caring… you have the biggest heart in the world, Y/N. And I want to keep it that way. Don't let people ruin your innocence. Keep being you." He pressed her closer when she started sniffling again. "You're too good to me," she pouted and he laughed. "That's my duty as your husband, kitten. Look, I bought flowers."

He took out the bouquet from his bag, smiling when Y/N's eager hands accepted it. "Thank you! Oh, these are so beautiful! Let me replace the flowers in the vase on the dining table!" Squealing, she walked away from him, leaving him to stare after her with an infatuated smile. You have no idea what you do to me, angel.

---

"Night, Ran," Y/N yawned, keeping her phone away. He held his arm up and Y/N snuggled into his side, allowing him to wrap his arm around her side. "Night, sweetheart," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her nose. He watched TV for some time until the match got boring; then he switched it off and carefully lay down on the bed, about to doze off when Y/N's phone rang. He blinked. Who'd be calling at his hour?

He lifted the phone off the nightstand, grimacing when he saw the Caller ID. Amy. As soon as he picked the phone up, Amy started blabbering. "Hi! Sorry I'm calling so late, Y/N, but I wanted to apologize for how I spoke to you at work today. It was wrong of me, really, I hope you can forgive me!" Ransom stayed silent, his jaw clenched. He had been hearing that line for years.

"Ransom, it's okay, she apologized, she won't be doing it again. She told me so herself!"

It was never the last time.

"Are you done?" he snapped and Amy froze on the other side. "M-Mr Drysdale—" "Listen, I don't want to hear it. I'm not Y/N; she has a heart of gold, God, I wonder why I let her hang out with people whose hearts are made of pure shit. How many times have you apologized for the same thing, huh? Using my girl's pure heart to your fucking advantage like that?"

"You're being—"

"I'm being what? I'm being rude? Who started it? If you ever mention our marriage in front of Y/N again, I'll have your fucking head." Amy bristled on the other side. "Are you threatening me?" Ransom smirked. "If you don't want to be threatened, I suggest you keep your nose out of other people's business. What mine and Y/N's relationship is like is no one's concern."

Amy stayed silent. "Gossiping won't get you anywhere. I have the best lawyers in the city, and I swear, if Y/N comes crying to me one more time about how someone was rude to her, I'll sue. Trust me, I will take legal action. Is that understood?" Amy quaked at his menacing tone. "Y-Yes, sir." Ransom's lips curled into a devious smile. "Great." And he ended the call.

"Ransom, who was that?" Y/N sleepily murmured next to him. She hadn't heard a word of the conversation, but could tell he was on the phone. "No one you need to worry about, sweetheart, go to sleep. I'm here." He lay down next to her, pulling her close. "You know, I have a question." He nodded at her to go on. "How do you always know when I'm going to be in a bad mood?"

"What do you mean?" he smiled, knowing exactly what she meant. "I mean, I have been wondering for years! Everytime I happen to be in a bad mood, you bring home a gift. It's like— it's like you can read my mind! How?! It can't be a coincidence, it has happened a lot of times for it to be a coincidence," she rambled and Ransom's heart fluttered at how innocent and adorable she looked.

"I have my ways," he teased, lightly poking her nose. "You're not gonna tell me, are you?" she pouted and he couldn't help but lean forward, pressing his lips to hers. "Nope, just so I can keep surprising you." She giggled, snuggling further into his arms until her face was pressed into his bare chest. "I love you so much, Ransom," she whispered. "I love you more, my sweet little angel."

Both of them went to sleep with giddy smiles on their faces.

Oh, and the Spotify thing? That was his little secret. Shh, don't tell anyone!

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

[imagineyouandharry]

Gypsophila (H.S)

Summary: Prince Harry has been under great pressure to find a wife, and he finds his Queen in a way far more unconventional than he could’ve imagined. 

Words: 5,730

Warnings: It’s a bit strange I guess? Idk lol.

A/N: Someone requested a Prince!Harry au forever ago, and then I didn’t really have an opportunity to write for a while, and then this idea sprung up on me and I’ve been lost in this little au for the past few days. It’s like a little twisted fairytale, taking inspiration from Snow White and Sleeping Beauty mostly. Part two is already a work in progress. If people are interested I’ll even put out a little sort of world building lore post with a map of the kingdom etc (I’ve been in DEEP). This part is a bit choppy and barely edited because I was just so eager to write it and get something out, but I would really appreciate any constructive criticism and editing notes! TYSM!! Long story short, enjoy!!!

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Harry Edward Styles did not believe in true love, in fact, he thought it was the most ridiculous idea ever. Harry’s certain he’s laid eyes upon every eligible young lady, from his kingdom and the ones surrounding, and he hadn’t felt a single thing when looking at any of them. He prayed every night that he would find his love the next day, and finally be able to put his parents out of their misery and ascend to the throne. At the age of 27, Harry’s the oldest person in his family to not be married, no one every waited this long in the royal family. He would’ve had an arranged marriage at 21, though when his parents suggested that he ran away on a sailing ship for two months. One thing was clear to him: though he may not have experienced love yet, he wasn’t going to ruin his chances at true by being forced into a loveless marriage. It wasn’t only Harry’s parents, but the entire kingdom that woke each day hoping to hear that their Prince had found his Queen. They referred to Harry as the Good Prince, his subjects adored him, and lived for his acts of charity and selflessness, and they only hoped he would find a Queen that would treat them the same.

Harry’s outlook on love changed however, after his most recent hunting trip. Sundays are for family and hunting, that’s what Harry was always told. No day was for Harry, he’d come to learn that. Living under a microscope meant for very little alone time, and almost no guilt-free alone time. He and his hunting party rode across the fields and out to the dense forest surrounding the kingdom, and over the two hour journey Harry found himself agitated with the topics of conversation going on around him. He wanted a break, tired of everyone only ever speaking about royal duties or politics. Harry had discovered a fresh water lake if he went off the trail, and when he realised they were edging closer to his favourite place he decided to excuse himself with the excuse of needing to fill his canteen.

The natural spring was a hidden treasure indeed. Harry’s entire kingdom was cut off from the rest of the world due to the thick forestland surrounding it. There was only one trail in, and one trail out, and even then only experienced riders were able to make the journey. The end of the trail, in the deep of the forest, was also often lined with thieves and outcasts making it not the safest journey. This spring wasn’t necessarily hard to find, however thick trees that lined the main trail hid the spring, the gorgeous wild flowers, and clearing of soft grass either side. Harry tied his horse to his usual tree, softly parting the bushes careful to not cause any permanent damage, and stepped his way through. His kingdom was full of hidden treasures like this, tucked away in places only to be found by those adventurous enough.

The sound of the running water was most prominent, however the closer he walked to the spring, the more he could hear a faint, delicate singing voice. Harry couldn’t recognise the song, but it was one he’d never forget now. It felt as though his heart dropped in his stomach, and he had to lightly scratch his arm on a branch to double check he hasn’t died and was hearing an angel of heaven sing to him. He walked closer, with quiet footsteps so not to disturb the singing. He knelt down to the edge of the spring and began to fill his canteen, looking around his eyes eventually focused on the source of his siren, standing in the clearing over the other side of the spring as she picked a bouquet of dainty flowers. Lavender, daisies, bellflowers, poppies. Her body was dressed in sage green, the simple dress showed she definitely was not from a wealthy family, but it was simple and beautiful in its own way. Perhaps she sewed it herself, it did look as if it were made for her. He could see her hair shine from here, and the features of her side profile were striking him even from a distance. She didn’t look real. The strange girl across the spring looked ethereal, like her beauty was too surreal for this planet. Had he hit his head? Was he seeing a forest fairy? He hadn’t even realised the staggering increase in his heart rate as he watched the girl, and listened.

He lost track of how long he had been watching her for, snapped out of his daydream when he heard a “Your Royal Highness! We must be getting on!” Harry heard shouting at him from a distance, most likely back where he had tied his horse. The girl had heard the faint noise and her eyes shot in Harry’s direction. His cheeks flushed with heat as their eyes met only for a brief second, before she ran away. The eye contact brought a slight curve to his lips, although she was leaving, at least he got another good look at her.

“Wait!” He called as he stood up, his hand and canteen dripping wet. His eyes softened as she simply left, looking back briefly in her stride, but he’d blown it. “God fucking damn it.” He cursed under his breath as he began to trudge back to his horse, his feet weighing heavy on the ground.

That was the most he’d ever felt, looking at the stranger across the lake singing as if it were for him, and he couldn’t help but feel like he’d just lost his future Queen. Half of him wanted to wade through the water and run after her, but Harry wasn’t a often disobedient Prince, when one of his parents or advisors told him to jump, his usual response would be “how high?” It’s ironic how for someone who’s whole life depends on finding his future Queen is given so little time to actually explore a social life, or love life himself. He was always set up with suitors who his parents found best. In the rare times he’s able to sneak away he’d gotten around, and most definitely wasn’t a virgin, but he’d never found a girl who had made him feel the way he wanted to feel about his future queen. He only wanted to please his family, and his realm, but this was the one thing where he refused to compromise.

Y/N was as far away from a future queen as it could come, or at least that’s what her step-mother wanted everyone to think. The entire town hoped to marry their daughters off to the elusive Good Prince Harry, however her step-mother only wanted her biological daughters to have that chance. When Y/N’s father passed away her step-mother sent her out to live as a recluse in a tiny cottage in the woods, she had always feared that her beauty would distract future husbands away from her actual daughters, and didn’t want to ruin their chance of being married. Each Sunday she drops Y/N off the supplies she needs, but that was the only human contact she was given. It wasn’t too bad, she managed to keep herself busy with sewing, baking, or whatever other art or craft she could think of and had the materials for. It was lonely though, and she was ultimately alone.

Well, if you don’t count forest fairies. Y/N hated being outcast into the forest, and spent most of her early months in the cottage crying to whatever wild animal she could find that day that would stick around long enough. Eventually, these wild animals started bringing their fairy friends along with them. They would spend their days with Y/N tending to fruit and vegetable gardens, watering plants, having picnics, and making daisy chains. Her life was simple, and although not one she asked, it was one she was growing fond of. Male company was something she could only imagine and long for, or read about in story books. There were dozens of fairies living in the forest, but she’d become particularly close to a group of some of the female fairies.

Each Sunday before her step mother visits, Y/N will pick her step mother a bouquet of flowers in attempt to win her over, in hopes maybe one day her sweetness will earn her way back into town. Y/N had total obliviousness towards her step mother’s plan, and towards what was going on in the city. This year, any woman over the age of 21 was to present herself to the Prince. Y/N’s 21st birthday fell on the day she was scheduled to be presented to the Prince. The letter had been delivered shortly before she was sent away to the forest, Y/N never laid her eyes upon it though. The letter outlined the royal guard would be coming to collect anyone who failed to present themselves on the day, and to Y/N’s step mother that meant the only option was to make it so Y/N never turned 21, or made it to her birthday for that matter.

Seeing the Prince most definitely did spook Y/N during that day in the field, if her step mother ever found out she’d had contact with a male there was no chance she’d ever be allowed to move back home. She did all she could think to do. She ran. She ran so fast that the petals of the flowers she had picked were ruined in her haste, quickly shutting herself inside the cottage to gather herself before her routine afternoon visit from her step mother. Sure she knew of men to be dangerous and terrible, but she feared her step-mother’s wrath more than anything any man could put her through.

Like any other Sunday, she scrubbed the house and dressed herself in whatever new garment she had stitched herself this week. The fairies had been busy this week and she’d had a great deal of time to herself, embroidering colourful flowers into the soft white linen of the new dress she had made. Her step-mother would bring her fabric and thread to sew dresses for her step sisters. It was something to be proud of, but most likely would be over looked. Little was said upon her step-mother’s arrival, but her character seemed off. Her step-mother’s eyes darted around, checking windows as she insisted on making the two of them tea. Y/N sat down at the small dining table, recounting tales of her week, ensuring to leave out anything about fairies or a boy. She watched a small bunny outside the window, forgetting to speak as awe overwhelmed her whilst she watched its tiny nose twitch. Her daydream came to an end when the sound of the ceramic mug hit the hard wood of the coffee table. “Drink while it’s warm, my love.” Her step-mother told her, sitting down in the seat at the head of the table beside Y/N. It wasn’t long after that that Y/N hit the floor, and her step-mother was shrouding herself in a hooded coat and sneaking out of the tiny cabin.

Elsie, a fairy most close to Y/N, who specialises in healing, came to the conclusion that she was only out for about six hours before the fairies found her. They did all they could over the following weeks to bring her back to life, trying as many possible rituals, potions, and spells to give life to her body once more. Nothing was of use though, and instead they decided to preserve her in a glass case in the clearing amongst the wildflowers. She had professed to them that the clearing by the spring had been her favourite place, so they saw this fit. Preserving her in the glass case was simply because the idea of her beauty decaying away made any of the fairies shriek. Fairies never communicated with humans, however Y/N was different. Elsie had always theorised that Y/N had magic in her blood. Amongst the many spells and rituals they tried to bring Y/N back, they threw in a spell that would hopefully bring her back with true love’s kiss. It was like a safety net, or a ‘what if?’ But they eventually tired and wore out, preserving her was well enough for now. They kept her dressed in the new dress she had crafted for herself, it was so beautiful after all. They had placed tiny baby’s breath flowers throughout her hair, and made sure everything was perfect. They even went as far to adorn her in delicate gold jewellery, with beautiful crystals of all colours. Her body rested upon a large rectangular slab of rose quartz.

****

Harry was dreading sitting in the throne room, while all the eligible females from the town were presented to him like livestock. It made him sick, and left a terrible taste in his mouth. All he could think of was the girl from the clearing. Is she a sign? Is he his ticket out of here? Was seeing her fate? Questions like that simmered over his mind and kept him awake at night, he had been sleeping little and finding it hard to focus on his duties. His best friend Niall was he closest confidant, the only one he had told about the beautiful girl in the clearing that day. Niall cared more for Harry than anyone, really. He didn’t just care about his fame or power or wealth, Harry was his best friend and he hated seeing his best mate so down about his love life and the pressure to marry a woman he doesn’t love. He made it his mission to find the woman, and his detective work lead him down a path he didn’t expect at all. First he went to the clearing where Harry filled his water in the spring, that was where he first noticed something over the other side of the spring that he couldn’t quite make out. He followed the spring and found an area narrow enough to cross, making his way to the structure he’d seen earlier. He didn’t know what to make of this discover, a dead girl in a glass coffin. ‘Forever at rest, only to be woken by true love’s kiss’ read an inscription on a gold plaque. He really didn’t know what to make of this. He didn’t know what to tell Harry.

Sweat lingered Niall’s brow as he made his way back to the castle to find Harry, to tell him of his discovery. “Look… I just need you to come with me and tell me what you think when we’re there.” Niall tells him, his voice somewhat breathless. Niall himself was still in disbelief, shock, his eyes wide as he shook his head. “I just- I don’t know what to tell you. You need to see it for yourself.” He adds.

Harry nods. “I’ll come immediately.” Harry tells him, his trust for Niall outweighing anything else going on in his head. Together they rode to the forest, crossed the narrow part of the spring, and towards where Niall had discovered Y/N.

“Is this the girl you were talking about?” Niall asks, however when he looks from the girl to Harry, he knows the answer. Harry couldn’t help but fall to his knees, pressing his palms against the glass as he looked inside. He noticed how long her eyelashes looked, and the freckles on her nose. His nose was almost touching the glass as he leant here on his knees at the side of her, taking her in up close.

“What happened to you?” He whispers, his eyebrows knitting together. Niall gives him a moment before he decides to mention the plaque at the foot of the structure.

“It uh, says something weird about being awoken by true love’s kiss. I don’t know if it’s true, and it’s revolting to think you would kiss a dead body for nothing, but someone has put her here. Someone made this. My grandmother in her old age would mutter stories about forest fairies and their magic… It just makes you wonder, you know?” He ponders, his eyes wandering away. It felt silly to bring up magic, it was something very commonly dismissed.

“Help me get this off.” Harry said as he brought himself from the ground, the soft grass had left green stains on his tan riding pants. He pushed the sleeves of his white linen button down up past his elbows, and the two men carefully lift the heavy glass case up off of the rose quartz Y/N had been resting on. It wasn’t easy, and the glass at the bottom dug into Harry’s fingers before they set the glass piece of the structure down on to the grass. “Alright. Here we go.” Harry said, in attempt to psych himself up for kissing a dead girl. She didn’t look dead though, just sleeping, you could only tell she was dead due to the missing rising and fall in her chest with her breath. “I might start walking back to the horses, give you some privacy.” Niall said, giving him a slight smile. He also didn’t really want to witness someone kiss a dead person, if she didn’t end up waking up.

“Good luck. Take your time.” He adds, part of him had no doubt it was going to work though. The stories his grandmother would tell him of the forest fairies were something he’d always held on to, those stories were amongst his most treasured memories. He’d always had some hope.

Harry waited until he could no longer hear Niall’s footsteps before he leant down close to Y/N, brushing a strand of hair back behind her ear. He took a moment, if this never worked it was going to be the last time he’d ever see her. He couldn’t fathom coming back to this spot if this didn’t work. His heart began to ache at the thought, it made his chest feel tight, and gave him the urge to rub at the spot.

“I really hope you’re who I think you are.” He whispers as he looks down at her. “This might seem like absolute madness. I don’t even know your name, but if you wake up for me, I swear to you I will be yours forever.” He began, to Harry this almost did feel like a ritual, it felt special, and the words he was speaking were amongst the most genuine he’d ever given life to. “I promise, I will protect you. I will provide for you. I will love you. I will never, ever harm you. I will love you until my very last breath, I just need you to do this one thing for me.” His voice was barely a whisper now, and breaking as hot tears welled in his eyes. He very carefully leant down, pressing his warm, puffy lips against her cold, smooth ones. He didn’t know how long to wait, but it didn’t feel wrong. It was a sweet, tender kiss. His eyes closed, and he felt at peace. It felt more than at peace. The long grass, wildflowers, and tree branches that surrounded them began to stir with wind, petals floating up into the gusts that took them. This girl had a tendency to make him feel like he’s dead and in heaven. Her lips slowly began to warm, and skin began to glow with heat. It felt like they were floating, as if the universe was made up of just the two of them. The flowers beneath him began to grow taller and more dense, and it began to feel like his heart was pulling towards hers. It felt like a tether had been formed, connecting their energy, he could feel as her heart began to pump blood again, and her energy radiate from her skin. It felt too surreal.

Slowly, Harry removed his lips to allow Y/N to breathe. He let a hand lay gently resting on her cheek as he watched her gasp for her first new breath, eyes shooting open as she looked up at him. It wasn’t shock she was met with when her eyes met Harry’s, but peace. The luminous green eyes that were gazing down upon her were like lighthouses, guiding her towards safety. So many questions began to race her mind as she came to reality, unable to decide which one to ask first. As if based on intuition, Harry decided to speak. “I uh- I’m not too sure what happened to you but my friend found you here today and brought me to you. I believe I saw you a few weeks ago, in the same spot. I’m not sure how long you’ve been out here, but there was this little plaque at the end of this thing here, that said something about a kiss to wake you up… I’m sorry for kissing you without your consent, but I couldn’t risk not taking this chance.” He didn’t mean to ramble or to overwhelm her with his spiel, but he was overwhelmed himself with everything that had just gone on. True love’s kiss. His queen. His true love. The other half of his soul, in human form. Y/N’s lips parted as if to speak, but nothing came out. She closed them once more as she sat up and looked around, swinging her legs off the side of the marble before looking back up to Harry. Her movement had disconnected his hand from her face, and they both longed for each other’s touch once more already. Her eyes began to well with tears as she began to think about how she got here, her last memories.

“I can only assume how overwhelming this must all be for you… We can stay here as long as you need, it’s just us. When you feel ready for it, I can take you back to my home and we can get you showered and fed. I don’t mean you any harm.” Harry doesn’t even need to add that last sentence though, because she can feel it. She can feel his love for her, she could almost hear it if she listened closely enough, as if his heart was now beating a song for her.

Harry stood back, as if to give the doe eyed girl some space. She looked at him as if he was the most precious treasure on Earth, he’d never felt so overwhelmed with love. This was followed by her delicate hands reaching out, taking ahold of his as she brought herself to stand in front of him. “Is it alright if you hold me for a second?” She asked softly, needing time to process things.

It had been so long since she had been touched affectionately, she couldn’t really remember it. Her father was never affectionate, nor her step mother or step sisters or anyone else she’d met. She felt comfortable with the stranger in front of her though, and didn’t have the energy to resist the magnet like force pulling her towards him.

“Of course.” He responds, his voice soft as he wraps his arms gently around her frame, pulling her into his warm figure. Harry was like the perfect, giant teddy bear… but he wasn’t really that soft. Pressed against him she could feel how chiseled his features are. Her arms wrapped around his waist as she relaxed into him, cheek against the skin of his chest kindly revealed by the first few buttons of his shirt being undone. “What’s your name?” He asks, tangling his fingers in her hair to lightly rub his fingertips against the tender skin at the back of her neck.

“Y/N Y/L/N. Yours?” She asks, looking up to the tall, broad man.

“Harry.” He decides on leaving out his royal title or last name.

“Just Harry?” She asks, her eyebrows raising.

“For now. We have plenty of time to talk about me later.” He notes, removing the same rogue strand of hair as before from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. It was almost as if her hair had a life of its own, breathing, like the other flora growing in the forest. He had noticed the baby’s breath in her hair, though her hair moved, they remained in the same places, as if growing out of their place on the strand of hair. “What do you last remember?” He asks, needing to know if whatever put her in eternal sleep had been by accident, or as an act of malice. She looks back away from his face, resting her cheek once more against his chest.

“My step-mother, Styephania came over, she made me tea. That’s all I can really remember.” She said, unable to stop the disappointed sigh from escaping her lips. Maybe she’d had a freak health accident, like a stroke. Just because she’d been mistreated by her step mother her whole life, didn’t mean she was capable of murder. She knew her step mother didn’t put her out here though, this was the work of fairies. They were looking on, hiding in the bushes as they stood witness to young love blossom in front of them, not wanting to disturb the two of them. “I look crazy, and it sounds crazier saying this, but I’m certain the forest fairies are responsible for looking after me and putting me here. The day she came over was the day I think you saw me here, and I’m not sure how I’m meant to feel but I don’t feel like I’ve been a dead body since then. I feel like no time has passed at all.” Harry avidly listened to her speak, her voice like caramel, seeping in his ears and warming his whole body. Harry wasn’t phased by her mentioning fairies, Niall had suspecting this being their work earlier. It was the only explanation Harry could think of. He couldn’t understand why her step mother would leave her here, why she wouldn’t find her help.

He didn’t want to worry his sweet girl now, he wanted to make sure she felt alright, safe, and cared for. His grip on her wasn’t too tight, but firm in a comforting way. “The plaque… It mentioned how you’d only be woken by true love’s kiss.” He figured the longer he waited to tell her the stranger it would be. His cheeks were red, as if embarrassed or ashamed to tell her about the plaque, how strange it all was. Her eyes met his, and the connection gave him whiplash. He couldn’t peel his eyes away, getting lost in the little pools. He wanted to know everything about her, what she liked, disliked, what she ate for breakfast, her favourite songs, flowers, secrets. Everything.

“I don’t know if I know what love feels like. The only men I’ve spoken to are all twice my age. I wasn’t really allowed to see boys. You’re definitely much, much more beautiful than I would’ve imagined a man to be, and I’m certain that my heart is literally beating for you now, since you woke me.” She tells him, the descriptions of heroes in stories she would read, or how she would imagine the older men to look when they were younger, were incomparable to Harry. The compliment made his cheeks flush. With each beat of her heart, it was as if it was pulling her closer to Harry, calling out for him, begging for him to love on her and soothe the ache in her chest.

“How has God made something so sweet?” He mumbles, he hadn’t even realised he’d said it out loud at first. “You’re breath taking. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes upon, and trust me when I say I’ve seen a lot of them. Even from far away, the first time I saw you… You make me nervous. You make my heart race, and my palms sweat, and I get butterflies in my stomach and nervous when I think about saying the wrong thing or not having you like me. It’s as if you’ve been carved by God himself, like he was showing off when he made you so beautiful. I wish I’d met you sooner.” Those last words burn his throat, how easier the last few years would have been if he had just been able to find her sooner.

*****

Harry sent Niall back to the castle first, having him instruct everyone to clear out the path that the Prince and his soon to be queen would take to his suite, he didn’t want to spook her with people around. The guards had to stay though, non-negotiable. He also had Niall ensure the doctor was on standby, just to check on Y/N and stay in the castle over the upcoming weeks in case anything else happened. Security was going to be increased, and tightened, and a warrant put out for her step mother.

The two hour horseback ride to the castle would give them well enough time to get to know each other, Harry and Niall had also switched horses, Niall’s being the slower of the two. “I don’t want to startle you when we get there. I also don’t know how to really tell you this. I’m in the royal family, so the guards and whatnot are something to just be ignored. They’re for your protection. I don’t know if you heard much of what I was telling Niall earlier, but you’re going to be very safe here, and we’ll find out what happened. I’ll look after you, I promise.” His eyes are ahead as he speaks, looking over the vast green fields ahead of them once they eventually emerged from the forest.

“Still just Harry, to me.” She reassured, sensing his nerves about revealing this information to her. His shoulders relaxed at her reaction, and a smile formed on his lips when his mind began to wander into what their future may be like. His queen.

“Hey, one day that’ll be King Harry to you.” He joked, thankful that it was received with a laugh. Her laughter was almost as sweet as her songs, and for the rest of the journey he made it his mission to mine as many possible laughs out of her as he could, like little nuggets of treasure. After making their way through the fields that lined the forest, they went down a long road that served as a divide between two of the castle’s towns, and at the end of that road just past a small valley of mountains was a sight far more glorious than Y/N had imagined. Her village was a small village that contained mostly candlemakers and dressmakers, and it sat further to the east, people only ever going out there to purchase fine candles and clothing. It was niche though, and not many could afford the fineries the master crafters in her village would create. Y/N hadn’t even really seen a home larger than a cottage, Harry’s castle looked large enough as if it could contain its own little world, a complete wilderness of towers surrounded by fine gardens, protected by a large moat with a standalone drawbridge. Harry didn’t even need to announce himself, the drawbridge was already in the process of being lowered for him.

“I had Niall clear our path, I don’t want to overwhelm you. I’ll introduce you to everyone when you’re ready.” Harry reassures her, she hadn’t even thought of anyone else though, too in awe of the sights around her. Flowers she’d never seen before laced these gardens, with fine marble sculptures and fountains protruding from them.

“I can’t believe this is your home.” Y/N whispers, unable to think of anything else to say.

“Your home too, if you’d like.” Harry replies, though his words immediately shrouded him with nerves about rushing Y/N into anything. It was stupid, they were each other’s true love’s, but it felt wrong being strangers, so Harry tried his best to conceal things. He’d never been in a conventional relationship before, never mind whatever this arrangement is or was going to be. He just knew he wasn’t meant to rush things, so he tried to refrain from expressing his feelings as best as he could. Her arms around his waist tightened, Y/N needing to feel as close to Harry as possible. He held the reins in one hand, the other arm resting over hers around his stomach, holding on to her arm to make sure she couldn’t let go.

“I’d like that.” Y/N reassures, gently rubbing his side to soothe him. Harry was too caught up in his own feelings to pay attention to how calm Y/N was. She could feel his anxiety though, and continued to try to soothe him as best she could. Y/N knew very little about Harry so far, but what she did know was that he was kind, caring, and had a lot of worries. She’d never been a worrisome person, and if anything would even refer to herself as naive, it was something she’d always been almost ashamed of but in this moment felt like maybe she’d been made to be by Harry’s side. Y/N liked the idea of spending her days being Harry’s rock, a voice of reason. She’d rather a man like this than one who had no emotions, that was for sure. It could’ve been whatever was now eternally bonding them, but she swears she was feeling his emotions, able to see his aura if she really studied hard enough. She sunk into him some more, her arms around his waist, cheek resting against his back. Harry made sure to take it extra slow, giving his love enough time to appreciate the flowers. She seemed to like flowers, and his mother took pride in this being the most beautiful garden amongst all of the kingdoms. He couldn’t wait to show her all the fineries that came with his life.

[insufferablelust]

i have had this in my head for days now and i need to tell you about it lol so a lot of fics on here have the concept of being a brat and a bad girl and I love those but it got me thinking about spencer being with someone whos s u c h a good girl for him like the most obedient little girl who never breaks the rules no matter what he says or does and he absolutely loves it and he asks her why she never breaks the rules and whatever her submissive reply is makes him go FERAL

wow you’re a genius, i’m actually loving this piece so much because this is screaming me, i’m super subby it’s unbelievable🥺 anyways, i hope you enjoy love! thank you so much for the req and support, love you. xx MASTERLIST.

WARNINGS : Soft!Dom!Spencer x Sub!Reader, lots of praising so praise kink, soft cute dom and sub dynamic, oral (f receiving), bit of rough sex but its cute still, and pure submissive and dominant dynamics meaning it might seem like the sub is way too subby but in reality they hold the same amount of control, its just how the dynamics go. :) oh and fluff!

There’s something about Spencer Reid that always amazes Y/N, the way he handle things, the way he talks, the way he thinks, the way he manages all the things inside his head. He was rather complicated, but the mesmerizing kind that always caught her attention, the kind that stopped her from doing anything else but to listen and to cater his every need. He has her whipped for him like a puppy to it’s owner, but she loves it- she loves him, he’ll always her devotion— but so will she from him.

Y/N adores a lot of things, a lot of people— like Penelope Garcia and all her quirks, or David Rossi and all his wisdoms. But no one ever comes close to get the same amount of adoration and respect from her, as Spencer. The moment she joined the BAU, she knew that she had to give him her all, so she did. Now 2 years later, working in different divisions with him still in BAU and her in the human recourses division, their relationship remains strong, even stronger than ever.

Its rather challenging for them both to find the time together with him on case duties while she waited at their shared apartment considering that she spends more time on desk job rather than the field, but lately since he got his mandatory 30 day off, their time with each other becomes more and more interesting and sparked the utmost pleasure.

Of course he has lectures to teach, and papers to grade or sometimes on call cases to help, but that all means he’s mostly home with her. When they started the relationship, her intense adoration for him only sparked to greater level which is submission. When they started dating, she revealed that part of her instantly which ignited something inside the Doctor.

You see, Spencer was experienced but when they met, he never seen someone so devoted... so obedient... and so submissive to him like her. She’s the epitome of raw beauty not because she’s weak when she submit, it’s because she trusts him to take control but in order for him to take control, she’s also the one that holds the wheel— if she said the word, he’ll stop. Their dynamics are as harmonious as an instrumental piece. She submit to him in more ways than one— he owns her and most importantly he takes care of her like she takes care of him.

Y/N is not the one to misbehave, of course there are times when she wanted to be bratty, to break the rules he set for her, which was fairly simple; like she must tell him how she feels at all times (communication is key), no touching herself and no orgasms unless he’s there to give her the permission, and don’t disobey him. And she really wanted to be bratty, and tease him until his palm twitch and bend her over his lap, yet every time she was about to break one of his rules, the guilt settles in, and she thought,

You’re his, you’re his baby, his love, his bunny, his doll, his person, his home— he said so. What are you doing disobeying him? ungrateful brat.

The submissive in her just melt down its brattiness and pushed her deep to subspace, where all she wanted was to please him anyway possible, to be as good as she can be, to behave, to obey, and to serve. She’s willing to do anything to hear his sweet praises and to see the blissed proud expression featured on his face when she did something that pleased him. The euphoria from the praise seared her core, and sent her to heaven.

The atmosphere of this situation always have and always will be the most comfortable content thing in the world for her— and Spencer couldn’t agree more. Praising and taking care of his beautiful lady, seeing her so submissively devoted to him sent a venomous thrill to his bloodstream, and hearing her beg for him just makes him want to stay with her forever— and they planned to stay forever.

———

Y/N found herself pacing around the bedroom as she pouted cutely at the flashing thoughts of their late night rendezvous last night, she could still feel the burning sensation on her inner thigh, the way he whispered on her ear, the way his palm collided with her skin several times, the way his teeth graze on the skin of her breasts— claiming her for the 100th times, the way he fills her up to the brim that rendered her into a pathetic panting mess at the end.

Saying that she’s soaked through her panties surely is the statement of the year, because god she was soaked— dripping at the thought of his sinful immaculate fingers, how does one get excited and aroused by their dom’s fingers?!Certainly Y/N. He was currently inside his study, grading and preparing for his next lecture which is tomorrow, they spent their morning together with over-sugared coffees and pancakes before he went to do his professor things and Y/N went upstairs to.. apparently think about getting fucked by her dominant genius boyfriend.

She was contemplating to just hump the sheets or using the shower head for less evidence, or just touch herself then and there— he won’t know right? he’s busy downstairs, when the doctor is busy, he won’t come here. So here she was, walking slowly to the master bathroom, as she chew on her bottom lip. The closer she got to where she needed to be, the greater her guilt arisen.

“He took such a good care of you last night, he gives you multiple orgasms, give you the privilege of having him inside your mouth and princess part— now you want to disobey him? disobey the man you love?”

She whined at herself before pulling the bathroom door harshly to close it— maybe a bit too harsh because one minute later, Spencer ran to where she was at the front of their bathroom, eyes brimming with tears and lips in a constant pout.

“Hey Baby, come here.. what happened? are you hurt hm? let me see your eyes, dove.” His voice made her whined ever louder and sunk her head even deeper as she fluttered her eyes shut, ashamed that she was even considering to disobey him. “Baby please look at me..” Spencer tried, pulling her close to his chest and rubbed her back.

He knew the look, she’s deep inside her space, what’s gotten him so confused was that they didn’t do anything this morning, she only gets like this after they have a rough session or when she feels— ah.. His mind clicking on its own, and its his job to make sure she crack her shell.

“Y/N, look at me.” Y/N’s eyes snapped open at the authority behind the tone of his voice, causing her to squirm against his front and then she looked up at him, even though she’s not ready to face his disappointment laced on Spencer’s face. Yet when she did look, she found no disappointment but rather a gentle smile and a sigh,

“There you go, Missed your pretty eyes my love.” He mused wiping the tears off of her cheeks before carrying her bridal style to their bedroom and sit down on the edge of the bed. “Now, why don’t you tell me what’s gotten you so upset that you fell under deep like this, princess?” His voice is gentle, laced with adoration and hint of worry which made her swear he’s an angel.

“I-I..” Her lips trembled as she looked up at him, it’s then that he realized just how deep she’s under— her eyes focuses solely on him and the only think that crosses her eyes is him- just Spencer, Spencer, and Spencer.

“Shh, i’m not mad, i’m not disappointed, now let me know what has gotten you like this angel?” His velvet voice sent chills yet the calming kind onto your guts and you sighed, crawls up to his lap and hide your face in his neck, before mumbling cutely,

“I was um thinking about last night... and i just.. Spence i was about to use the um shower head but i didn’t! i stopped myself cause i won’t ever disobey you sir! i promise!” The way she talked made his heart bursts inside his chest, god he’s so whipped for her and she’s clueless sometimes.

So Spencer leaned in to place a lingering kiss on her lips, closing his eyes and transferring all his adoration towards her onto the kiss that surely has her needy by now.

Her lips moved in sync with his, both’s raw emotions could be seen on the kiss, they projected each other’s desires and wrapped it up with a gentle smile. He pulled back a little, caressing her flushed cheeks before muttering, “Baby—“

“So you’re not mad?” She beats him to it, batting her eyes innocently at him, the sight made him weak on his knees, that all he wanted was to worship her in every way he could.

“No, no i’m not mad petal. You’ve done nothing but pleasing me and making me happy.” He could see the way her eyes gleamed at that, the way her lips smiles so big, and the way she held onto him so tightly like an adorable koala, He muttered a low “Fuck me.” under his breath but of course she heard, every one of her senses were sensitive in times like this so of course she heard.

“W-What’s wrong?”

“No no baby, i said it because fuck.. how are you so perfect hm?” Spencer leaned to brush their noses together before trailing kisses from Y/N’s flushed cheeks to her ear where he whispered, “You’ve never broken any of my rules, always obeying me like a good girl, the perfect little love for me... how hm?”

Y/N was visibly shivering at the praise, a whine was stuck inside her throat, as she breathed heavily at the feeling of him biting softly on the skin below her ear causing her to gasp. “Ah!”

“Answer me, dove.” He groaned before making yet another mark, he could feel the way she squirmed that it sent a huge amount of pleasure toward his sweats covered cock.

“Sorry! i just.. just.. I wanna be good, i will always be good for you because you take care of me but most importantly.. you own me sir, i’m yours, body and soul. You can do anything, tell me anything, and just— i’m yours.” Oh to see her was one thing but to hear her high pitched voice spewing out those words awoken something inside of him, The absolute Feral need to claim her again and again. Cause she’s so damn precious and fucking his.

When she didn’t hear a respond from Spencer, she was about to pull away for a second to see if she has made any mistakes, but got cut off quickly when he flipped them over, pinned both of her wrist against the headboard. “Don’t move.” He whispered sternly, and she nodded, all the blood is rushing to her every sensitive nub.

“You’re fucking mine, just me, i will get you a collar, something that will show everyone that you’re mine.” His voice was rough, deep, and dripping with authority as he rip her flimsy nightgown open, trailing marks all over her smooth skin. He was worshipping her, owning her, making her his again and again.

“I’m yours— oh!” Y/N let out a yelp at the feeling of his lips enclosing on one of her nipples, gently rolling his fingers on the unoccupied one, before switching from time to time— making Y/N moaned every time he tugged too hard, suck too long, or licking way too fast. Her whole chest was on fire, overly stimulated yet couldn’t- and wouldn’t stop it.

“That’s right, you’re mine.” His growls were animalistic, as he trail his kisses down from her sternum down to her tummy, lips never missing an inch of its trail without marks. Y/N was positively buzzing with oversensitivity and pleasure, god she could just cum like this.

“My good girl, my best girl.” His praises has her closing her legs which Spencer quickly denied by spreading her thigh as wide as possible and lay on his tummy in between them.

“Sir.. please..” She kept pleading, eyes soaked with tears, panties soaked with arousal, and lips bitten red and raw. Totally a damn sight. “What do you want?” He demanded, he was the one pulling the strings whilst she laid there taking everything he’s going to give her. She wanted to say that she wants her to make her cum, but her submissiveness muttered something else,

“Whatever you want, whatever you think i deserve, whatever you choose for me.” Although her response were shaky, the message was clear enough for him to suddenly yanked her panties down and buried his face on her sweet sweet peach. Licking, and exploring every inch of her burning core as she squirms like a kitten. Spencer Hummed against her sensitive numb at the sound that she was making, lapping every drop of her sweet nectar, and suck on her pearl like there’s no tomorrow.

“Sir! Oh so good! thank you..” She was getting close, he could feel how her walls contracted around his wandering tongue, and her toes curling as her back arched. “Ask for permission like a good girl i know you are.” His voice against her cunt sent right to the edge.

“Please! please may i cum sir?” She was sobbing at this point, positively burning with pleasure and the adrenaline of being his. It was like there’s molten lava that swallow them both to a new world where the only people exists were Y/N Y/l/N and Spencer Reid.

“Cum, now.” He ordered, and she obeyed, instantly. Releasing onto his tongue which he happily lap every bit of it until she’s screaming due to overstimulation which he then pulled back, knowing just how sensitive his girl is at this point.

As he looked up at her, he could see how shivery she was, with a satisfied smile on her face and wrecked with his mark. “Thank you.. Spencer..” She drawled, nuzzling close to him before getting on her knees in the bed to straddle him shakily,

“Hey hey what are you doing?” Spencer grasp her trembling wrist stopping her from moving anymore. “Please let me ride you! please Spencer.” She does the thing with her eyes again, the one that Spencer would never ever dream of dishonoring her every requests.

“Baby, aren’t you tired?” His voice laced with worry as he thumb her lips, which made her instantly suckle on the thumb, and shakes her head. “Please sir! let me be your good girl, wanna show you how good i am.”

“Shh i know that you’re good baby, you don’t have to do that.” Y/N frowned as she suckle even harder on the thumb before releasing it and whined, “But i want to, doctor please!” even in her mushy state she could still think about one of Spencer’s biggest pet name.

“You should be glad, i love you this damn much pet.” He muttered yet still very pleased at the name. “Now come on, ride me, show me you can be good.” He doesn’t hold her, he just place his hand on his sides and watch her intently.

Y/N blushes under his intense gaze, as she took out his cock (finally) from his sweatpants, and god— his cock was so pretty, tip ruddy red, and the veiny skin was hard, her mouth watered at the empty filling inside her mouth— wanting so bad to feel the heaviness warmth on her tongue. “Gonna eye my cock forever like an undeserving brat or are you actually going to be good hm?”

His voice pulled her from her thoughts as she let out strings of apologies which he stopped with a sealing kiss.Y/N graze the tip of his cock against her opening as she took a deep breath before sinking down his length softly, his eyes never leaving his even when she moaned lewdly and shaking.

“You’re so good, warm and tight for me love.” He whispered, feeling immense pleasure being wrapped up inside her, he wished he could stay like this forever. “go on baby, bounce like a little bunny for me.”

And so she obeyed, placing her palm on his chest before bouncing slowly at first yet keep on picking its pace on his cock, their faces flushed, keeping eye contact as Spencer gripped her hips so hard before helping her bounce faster— making sure to hit her spongey spot each time.

“That’s it bunny, good girl.” He praised, earning a scream from her, her eyes rolled back and lips parted as she tightened her walls around his cock “Fuck Y/N..” His eyes shut now at the intense pleasure from the tightness of his girl’s walls.

He then pulled out for a second, flipped them over, before putting himself back in and then continue pounding her into the bed with a brutal pace yet its all so sweet and full of passion towards each other. “So good Spence! oh oh so full and deep!” Her pornographic moans send him over to the edge.

“Cum baby, now come with me.” He grunted against her lips before pulling her into an intoxicating kiss, and then both of them cum at almost the same time— they trigger each other’s pleasurable desires and needs like a soulmate would.

—————

“Shh good girl, I love you so much Y/N. You’re the best girl ever.” He wrapped his arm around hed after he cleaned them both with a damp towel, changing her into a pajama and then change himself.

“I love you.. Spencer...” She whispered, her eyes still swimming with the thought of him, she’s his.

“I need you to come back to me Y/N, come on.” Before they sleep he needs to coax her out of it, or else she would be sad and grumpy the next morning.

“I’m here!” She giggled as she stared at him, pressing onto his pouted lips and then eyes widen at the sad expression on his face that was one of the way to show her how she really needs to sleep now. The next minute she opened her eyes, he could feel the warm graze of hers and Her voice were small but its Y/N’s wonderful voice nonetheless.

“Spencer?”

“Hi Y/N, here with me?” Spencer intertwined their fingers together before pulling the covers up to their chest and then cuddled around her.

“Yeah.. yes baby..” Her voice droopy, Spencer then let out one more ‘i love you princess’ before she drift asleep, as well as him.

——————

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