#she could fix me (realign my spinal cord)

[sallymew4]

lazy girl psycho doodles

my back hirts

see-better ups

[emilia3546]

He Never Left Your Side - Nesta and Rhys

Nesta hasn't really spoken to Rhys since Nyx's birth, not for more than polite greetings anyway. But after attending a meeting about training the female Illyrians, they're stuck together with too much left unsaid.

*****

Nesta sighed as she stared out over the Illyrian mountains, enthralled by its rugged beauty, the raw untamed power in those jagged peaks, she almost forgot the male standing beside her, almost.

"You think it's beautiful," Rhys broke her concentration, and she held back the snappy response that would have allowed her to continue staring in silence,

"I've always been drawn the the wilder things in life," she said simply, let him take from that what he would, it was true in every sense, she'd never been the woman her mother had expected, not in her heart. But now, with the Valkyries, with Cassian, she was finally the person she was born to be, even if it was twenty five years too late.

"Thank you for coming today, I think we're getting there," Nesta wasn't so sure, the meeting had been a disaster, every Camp Lord had refused training to females, although, some had conceded permission for Nesta to run Valkyrie training, but no allowance would be made from camp chores and jobs. It was the first, very tiny, step, but a step nonetheless,

"Can't you just order them?"

"They'd disobey it, and I'd have to bring force in, I don't want a civil war, this is the only way, but with you showing that females can do it, we will get there, so thank you."

"I'll admit I never thought you'd say that to me of all people,"

"Will you hate me again if I say that I never expected to say it?"

"No. I'll mark you down as pragmatic though." Rhys laughed beside her, but Nesta couldn't tear her gaze from the view before her, "But you don't have to thank me, for anything, like it or not, you're my brother,"

"Still, I don't think I'll ever manage to thank you enough for saving Feyre's life,"

"She's my sister." Nesta did glance sideways at that, "And it was about time I returned the favor," she admitted, almost starting in surprise at the respect in Rhys' eyes, and the chuckle that left his lips,

"Don't tell her that. I'm glad that you found your own way to healing, and I'm sorry that it wasn't me who helped you, I was blinded by my anger over the past, it was wrong of me, and, well, you remind me of myself in some ways, I'm not altogether sure that's a good thing."

"That's a good thing."

"But, you are my sister, and I know we can't rebuild something that was never there, but I would like to really know you, I want you to be a part of the family. I owe you everything, and it shouldn't have taken me this long to give you a chance."

"You owe me nothing."

"Agree to disagree," Nesta offered him a small smile at that, the first time they'd truly agreed to anything, and stared back out at the mountains,

"I didn't believe Feyre when she said I'd like you, and I was right, but I hated you because you were what I could have been, with the right people, but I never truly hated you I don't think, I always respected you, somewhat grudgingly, but I did, mostly for your judgement of me, many males would have simply let me do what I was doing, left it to Feyre to try and reach me, you didn't go about it the best way, mind you, but the idea was what I needed. Maybe it was for her benefit at the time, but I doubt that's true now,"

"No, it's not, believe it or not, I like you, Nesta, I didn't like the Nesta who returned after the war, but I should have recognized that you were hurting and needed support, I'm glad you were able to find it." Nesta smiled,

"I do have a bone to pick with you, though,"

"Oh yeah?"

"You gave Cass baby fever."

"I do apologize," he laughed, "Are you sure you can't hold him off?"

"Oh I can hold him off, he won't insist, but still, it's all your fault," she teased, finally relaxing, her attention no longer zeroed in on Rhys, but their surroundings, as it usually was. The companionable silence surrounding them still surprised her, were it anyone else, she'd have expected incessant talking, but it seemed that he understood, they had said what they needed to right now, it was just about learning to trust one another, to find the family bonds that they had neglected.

It was this silence that alerted her to a slight sound, a sound she assumed was Rhys moving from where she couldn't see him, but the silence made her look round, not even the birds were singing any more, a flash of movement drew her attention. She moved on instinct, not knowing what the movement was, but a sense of danger overwhelmed her as she stepped into its path, shoving Rhys aside. As it crashed into her, she identified one of the Illyrians from the meeting, a Camp Lord's son, bringing up her hand to slam her fist into his face, his nose crumpling under her fist as he stumbled backwards.

"Oh gods, Nesta,"

"What?" It was only when she stepped away from the unconscious male that she noticed the crimson drops of blood on the stone, except the blood from his nose hadn't fallen. She glanced down, her hands automatically pressing into her side at the sight of the dagger buried to the hilt just below her ribs. It hardly occurred to her that she'd saved Rhys' life, again, with the blade's trajectory aiming to sever his spinal cord had she not intervened. Horror was written across his features as her vision fractured from the pain radiating from the wound, and he stepped back to support her as she stumbled, "Now you owe me," she laughed, and winced at the pain such a movement caused.

"Hang on, I'll fix this, I will, I've just got to get us home first, okay?"

"Mmhm," Nesta mumbled, her vision failing completely as blood rushed past her fingers, staining the cliffs red as they vanished, reappearing in one of the River House's guest bedrooms. Nesta didn't register Rhys setting her down in the bed, didn't register when the door flew open and Feyre rushed in, gasping in horror at the sight of her sister.

"Could you go and fetch Cass, it'd be better to tell him face to face,"

"Okay yeah, what happened?"

"She saved my life."

Nesta did register the dagger being withdrawn, and the paint that redoubled afterwards, but a quiet tap against her mental shields encouraged her to lower them, she sensed no danger from that presence, and the pain vanished, allowing her to slip into a blissful state of unconsciousness. She didn't wake when Cassian arrived moments later, all but begging Rhys to heal her. She didn't wake when the sides of the wound closed, blood vessels realigning, skin sealing back together at Rhys' command. She didn't wake when Rhys explained what she'd done, without even thinking about it. She didn't wake when Cassian kissed her brow, when he demanded to see the male who'd hurt her. She didn't wake when Rhys admitted to having left him behind, or when Cassian checked over her again, making sure that she was really okay before leaving to find Azriel to catch the male who'd attacked them.

She did wake when her stomach demanded the dinner she'd missed, finding Rhys still sitting beside her,

"Don't get up, it was quite deep, it might not be fully healed yet, when I heal with my magic it can take a bit of time if it's a serious injury, just take your time, do you need anything?"

"Honestly, food, and a glass of water," Rhys smiled at that,

"You're okay then, so long as anyone who's been injured is asking for food, that tends to mean they're okay really, hang on, I'll be right back." Nesta closed her eyes again, only opening them when Feyre's voice sounded through her sleep,

"Nesta? You said you were hungry?"

"Thank you," he stomach growled again at the scent of the simple broth, and she slowly sat up, the pain reduced to a dull ache as she moved, pausing at the sight of Rhys beside her, sprawled in a chair beside her bed, his head leaning back against a precariously balanced cushion.

"He hasn't left your side," Feyre said, handing Nesta the tray of food, "He insisted on healing you himself, it tires him, his magic is not really designed for healing, but he wanted to do it," Nesta smiled to herself, he was a better male than she'd ever given him credit for, and she was proud to call him her brother. From Feyre's smile, she must have said it out loud, and she nodded, she meant it, it was about time they found the love that they'd been missing all their lives.

tags:  @teagoddess99 @brenda5601 @azrielsdarling13 @1helena @shisingh @valkygwyn @soffiiione @toolazymyguy @awesomelena555 @trashforazriel @dealingdifferentdevils @ximena-inlovewithazwyn @almosttenaciousmoon @aightimmaheadoutsblog @alexoik @selfdestructionfetish

[kenzieam]

Phoenix Rising - Chapter 6 (Eric X OC)

Rating: M (violence/swearing/smut :p)

Genre: General/Drama/Angst

Thanks everyone for the re-blogs and support!!! IT IS SO AWESOME!!!  

@emmysrandomthoughts @beautifulramblingbrains @iammarylastar @tigpooh67 @bookwarm85 @frecklefaceb @mom2reesie @elaacreditava @badassbaker @captstefanbrandt @jaihardy @treeleaf @pathybo @beltz2016 @lilu46

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The monitor began to alarm again and Fox shuddered. It continued and Fox's fear grew as a nurse hurried into the room. She leaned over Eric and pried his eyelids open again, shining the light into his eyes.

"Mr. Coulter?...Mr. Coulter?" The nurses voice took on an edge and she pressed between his collarbones, shaking him slightly.

"His name is Eric," Fox whispered, her heart in her throat, is this the end, is Eric leaving me?

"Eric!" The nurse said sharply, her hand jerking against Eric's chest. She turned her head and called over her shoulder; a second nurse hurried in, and, at the first's instruction, injected a syringe into Eric's IV line. Fox waited, not daring to move as the nurses watched both Eric and the monitor carefully. All three women exhaled in relief when the alarm finally stopped. The second nurse left and the first bent over Eric, listening to his chest with a stethoscope. After a long moment she stood straight again. She gave Fox a small, sympathetic smile.

"Your husband is a very strong man, he won't stop fighting."

Fox rubbed her swollen belly and her voice was threadbare when she spoke. "We need him."

The nurse nodded once then said lowly, "call if you need anything," before leaving the room, leaving Fox alone with Eric's motionless body.

Hours passed, dragging by; Fox stayed in the chair, holding Eric's hand. A nurse had brought in a cot for Fox to sleep on, but she wasn't ready to move away from Eric's side yet. The doctor had come in a few minutes ago with some positive news. Eric was stabilizing; and if he remained so overnight, they would repair his leg in the morning.

Fox exhaled shakily, she was so tired, so scared.

"Fox?"

Fox turned, her lips pulling up into a tired smile. Four stepped into the room; he'd been forced to leave earlier to help Tris, had promised to return with an overnight bag for Fox.

"How is he?" Four asked quietly, setting the bag onto the cot and pulling a chair up beside Fox.

"If Eric stays stable overnight, they'll operate tomorrow. Then....we can start the healing serum." Fox gazed down at her hand, clasped with Eric's; his skin was grey and cool, the latent strength she always felt in his grip missing.

Four pulled her against his shoulder into a hug and Fox finally let herself cry. Four murmured soothingly and stroked her hair until Fox sniffed and sat back up, flicking an embarrassed glance at him.

"Sorry," Fox mumbled.

"Don't be sorry, if that was Tris in that bed I'd be a wreck, I can't even imagine," he broke off and looked away before continuing, "I made sure Princess has enough food and water, I'll check up on her again tomorrow."

Fox nodded. "Thanks Four, Eric loves that cat."

"Tris sends her love, she wanted to come with me, but Maddie's fussy."

Fox shook her head, "it's alright, thank you for coming...and bringing me clothes."

Four smiled. "Tris helped me pack." He sighed regretfully. "I can't stay long." He pulled a phone from his pocket. "You left your phone at home, call me or Max if you need anything, okay?"

"Thanks, Four."

Four patted her shoulder and stood. He moved closer to Eric's bedside and gazed down at his friend for a long moment before leaning over. He whispered something quietly to Eric, but Fox caught the word 'don't' before he straightened again and left.

Fox slept fitfully, although the monitor alarms came less frequently, Fox was uncomfortable in the chair. Finally, she gave in and moved to the cot, waking every few minutes to look over at Eric and study the monitors, watch his chest carefully until she saw it move with his next breath. Nurses came in often to check on him, studying the monitor, checking under bandages and shining a light into his eyes again, giving Fox small smiles if she was awake to watch them.

It was the longest night of Fox's life; and she'd had some long nights before.

The doctor arrived early, looking like he'd managed to snag a few good hours of sleep and Fox was relieved, she didn't want him half asleep during the surgery. He fixed Fox with a cautious smile.

"We're going to try surgery."

"Try?"

The doctor exhaled. "Eric is still critical, but we need to align his broken bones before they start to cause trouble."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

The doctor nodded soberly. "Eric has lasted the night, but, I'm sorry Mrs. Coulter. I know you want the truth, so here it is, Eric is still in danger, he could go at any time. I'd very much like to repair his leg so we can start the healing serum; even if it can't fix his spine, the serum will still pull him out of this critical state. If we tried the serum first, his leg would heal permanently into the twisted shape it is in now, we need the bones aligned and pinned into place."

Fox nodded, looking up as three nurses entered the room. They meant now. Fox stood and leaned over Eric, stroking his hair back from his smooth forehead.

"I'll be here when you get back, baby." Fox murmured, pressing a kiss to his cool skin. She fought a shiver as she stood up straight and stepped back, watching the nurses push Eric's bed out of the room. The door closed behind them.

Then she was alone.

Fox waited nervously, her leg jack-hammering the floor restlessly. Eric had been in surgery for over five hours now, with no word on his condition. Fox tried not to think too much about what could be going on; that was an easy way to drive herself insane. The maybes. Maybe Eric was crashing right now, maybe Eric had already died on the table and the doctor was on his way to tell her, maybe Eric would survive the surgery only to be failed by the serum and linger in pain until he died, maybe, maybe.

Fox had no delusions as to what would happen to her if Eric died; Fox was irreparably tied to Eric now, their souls were intertwined, if Eric died, Fox would follow. Not only because they were connected, but Fox did not want to live without him. For someone who'd spent almost half her life purposefully isolating herself from others, Fox had bonded to Eric irrevocably, tied herself to him with unbreakable knots. The agony of waiting rubbed Fox's nerves raw.

Finally, Fox noticed she was no longer alone in the room. Her head snapped up, her neck muscles popping painfully. The doctor waited quietly, a sober look on his face.

"How is he?" Fox murmured, not entirely sure she was ready to hear the answer.

The doctor exhaled. "Eric is in recovery, the nurses will be bringing him back soon. The surgery went well; his leg has been successfully realigned. I have to, however, discuss the healing serum procedure with you before we proceed."

Fox nodded, relief flooding her like warm water; she swallowed hard as the doctor sat across from her, waiting to hear what he had to tell her.

The doctor took a deep breath, curling his fingers on his pants legs. "The procedure will be difficult, very much so; on both you and Eric. He will be sedated, heavily, as we transfuse the serum; so deeply in fact Eric will considered comatose and will require a machine to breathe for him. Everyday, however, we will need to reverse the sedation and bring Eric back to consciousness. During that time, Eric will be extraordinary pain and unable to move; partially due to the spinal injury, partially because we will probably need to restrain him. The incomplete ability to move that I expect him to retain due to the location of his spinal injury will only cause further damage. His movements will be jerky and uncontrolled, and will risk injuring him further, hence the restraints."

"I don't understand, why do you need to wake him up if it will cause him pain?"

The doctor sighed heavily. "The tests we need to perform to determine if the serum is having any sort of effect can only be done while he is conscious. The scans, the nervous system sensitivity, all of it. We will try to limit the amount of time we keep him awake, but it will never be shorter than twenty minutes."

Fox shuddered, then said. "We can explain that to him, give him at least a heads-up."

The doctor shook his head sadly. "No, the sedation we put him under will prevent him from remembering. Every time will be new for him, all we will be able to do is comfort him until we can sedate him again."

"Will he ever remember any of it?"

"Yes, others who have undergone this do eventually remember, usually in the form of nightmares."

"So.....we will put him through absolute hell, torture him daily, basically......and there is still no guarantee of recovery?"

"My most successful patient regained 90% function."

"90% isn't good enough for Dauntless, it won't be good enough for Eric."

"Eric has one thing going for him," the doctor said, hesitantly. "His spinal cord has not been fully severed, that already improves his chances of a more complete recovery. I understand your hesitation, but, Eric was in peak physical condition when the accident occurred, that, coupled with the nature of his injury, gives me hope."

Fox chewed her lip. "He is still unconscious? Can you wake him so I can ask what he wants?"

The doctor sighed. "We've been trying to rouse Eric since he was brought in, but he remains unresponsive; if we decide to go ahead, it has to be soon, before the body's natural healing process gets in the way."

Fox dropped her head. Torture Eric for a chance at recovery? Leave him be? He'd be paralyzed but not put through any cruelty. If Eric remained as he was, he would be either kicked out of Dauntless or would beg for death. He would not want what he would consider a half-life. He was too Dauntless for that. He was too Dauntless to not try.

"Let's try the serum."

The doctor nodded briskly and stood. "I will prepare the first round, the nurses should be in soon with him and we can get started right away." He hurried out.

Fox stood again and started to pace. What had she just agreed to? If the situation were reversed, would Eric choose the same thing for her?

Her voice shaking, Fox whispered, "I'm sorry baby. Whatever happens, please forgive me for what we're about to do to you."