#she can't go through another toxic split SHE CAN'T!!! I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN TO HER!!!!

[taylorsabrina]

i am a child of divorce all over again, except this time my parents split actually hurts. 🥺🤧💔

[ironstrange1991]

As Strange As It Seems (Final Part)

+18 Smut

Pairing: Supreme!Strange, Defender!Strange, Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Y/n tries to navigate the constant quarrels between the Stephens and Supreme decides to impress her with a night she will never forget.

Word Count: 10k

Warnings: Polyamorous relationship dinamics, slight toxic behavior. SMUT: Male domination, narcissistic behavior, exhibitionism, male and female masturbation, oral sex with female receiving, choking, umprotected p in v sex, creampie.

A/N: This chapter got really long, but I didn't want to split it up because I think it only makes sense like this. I'm also sure that the end of this series doesn't mean that we won't have more fics with this reader and the three Stephens because I'm already writing at least three more fics with them. Anyway, have a nice reading ;)

SERIES MASTERLIST

"It's good to know I can count on you, Strange." Tony Stark said staring through his office panoramic window at the Avengers Tower. "I would have made a similar deal with the others if they were less arrogant."

Stephen chuckled "A problem of all Stephens I’m afraid and I'm definitely not an exception. However, I need to make a living here and you need my help. I don't see why we can't work together."

Stark nodded, taking his seat again and clasping his hands together "Exactly. I'm sorry if I sound nosy, but how do you guys deal with all this? I mean, I wouldn't want to meet another me." He said pointing dramatically to himself chuckling and Stephen caught himself thinking about how the Stark he'd known in his universe was different from that one. The two were physically identical, but the Stark who had worked with Stephen at the Baxter Institute was a bitter man and Stephen could not remember ever seeing him smile. Apparently whatever humor or joy the man had died along with his wife and daughter long before Stephen knew him.

"It's not a pleasant feeling, I can assure you Stark, but I'm grateful to have found a place to call home in this universe. It's more than I could have dreamed of after everything that's happened in my world."

Stark gave a condescending smile "Once again, I'm sorry for your loss."

Stephen sighed getting up "Anyway, I'll need an advance payment. If it’s not a problem for you." He smirked "I have a girl to impress."

Stark nodded raising an eyebrown "Of course. I assume you have a bank account..."

Stephen moved his fingers quickly conjuring a business card and then grabbed a pen from the table and scribbled some numbers on it. "You can deposit here."

Stark agreed "I guarantee you won't be disappointed with the amount." He said extending his hand.

Stephen smiled openly shaking his hand. "Nice doing business with you, Stark."

...

It was Sunday morning and you had just woken up. You patted around the mattress looking for Defender, but he was no longer there. You stretched and let out a small yawn and got up.

The morning was particularly hot, so you showered, brushed your teeth, and left your room. You were reaching the top of the stairs when you heard raised voices coming from below and you hurried down the steps. When you got there you found Stephen and Defender confronting Supreme.

"We don't accept Stark’s money." Stephen practically shouted the words to which Supreme replied in the same tone.

"Yeah, and why is that?"

"Because we have dignity. We don't work for him, and neither should you." Defender pointed.

You stood watching everything from a distance, knowing full well that you shouldn’t intrude.

"Dignity? I've never worked a day in my life without getting paid for it and I'm not going to start doing it now. I don't care if it’s the government or a billionaire who will pay me. I'm going to work for that money and with that I intend to save some lives. It's a good deal."

Stephen chuckled nervously, both hands on his hips "You certainly don't expect us to believe you're interested in saving lives, right? If that were the case, you should have started saving the lives of the people in your universe."

You felt those words. And you knew that Supreme had felt them a lot more. He clenched his fists "You shouldn’t talk about things you know nothing about, Strange."

"Doctor..." Defender called trying to calm Stephen.

"No, Defender, he's right. We don't know, do we?" Stephen answered and then turned back to Supreme "Why don't you tell us? What happened to your universe, Supreme? What happened to your fucking fingers?"

You knew you shouldn't interfere, but when you saw it, you were already between the two Stephens, right in the eye of the hurricane. Both your hands pressed against Supreme's chest who threatened to go for Stephen.

"Stop it. Now!" You yelled at them. "What the fuck do you think you're doing fighting like that?"

Supreme took a step back, but pointed his finger at Stephen’s face. When he spoke again his voice was slightly lower but sounded even more dangerous. "You are not going to talk about my universe or my fingers ever again, or I'm going to fucking kill you."

You stared at him totally suprised by his words, but didn't say anything. Stephen didn't answer either. Defender watched the scene, but didn't interfere again.

Supreme glanced at you. "I'm going to work for this money. It's mine and I'm going to earn it. That's dignity."

He left the room and slammed the front door leaving the Sanctum.

...

After what happened, you wondered how it was possible to make that deal work. It was clearly different this time. You didn't have answers to that question, you just had to move forward and force things to work out one way or another. What was the other option? You wouldn't give up any of them. It was irrational, but you loved all three of them equally, even though you had so little time with Supreme.

A week had passed since the argument between them and it was Sunday again. You woke up long before the sun came up. Defender was sleeping in his stomach, his face turned towards you. One arm under the pillow, his hair covering his face. You smiled to yourself and gently brush his hair back so you could actually see his face. God, Stephen was so handsome. When they slept, they looked so peaceful, their faces relaxed and there was no sign of worry.

You sighed still admiring him, then got up slowly being careful not to wake him up. You put on your night gown and went downstairs deciding there was no point in trying to sleep. There was so much on your mind, but one specific thing was killing you: You missed talking to Supreme. Since the night you first kissed, you haven't had any time together. He had worked all week.

The day before he had come home with blood in his robes and cuts on his face and you didn't even know what had happened to him and you worried about him as much as you worried about Stephen and Defender except that when it was one of your Stephens that came home injuried you could take care of them and last night you couldn't take care of Supreme and it broke your heart.

You were completely lost in your own thoughts when you heard footsteps coming from the hallway. Stephen was walking straight through the living room when he noticed you sitting in the armchair.

"Sweetheart?" He walked towards you "Why are you awake?"

You smiled "I lost sleep." You took his hand. "You apparently didn't even sleep."

He smirked "Actually I slept for about two hours."

"Wow. Must be some kind of record."

"I sleep better when you're in bed with me." He admitted pulling you to your feet and then sat down on the couch and made you sit on his lap. He caressed your hair in silence for a few seconds then exhaled heavily. "I was think about you."

You smiled "What were you thinking about?"

"That I owe you an apology."

You glanced at him wrapping your arm around his neck. "Why?"

"For that ridiculous scene with Supreme last week."

You did not answer.

"I know I've said more than I should, but he surely deserved..."

"Why is it so absurd for him to work with Tony? Tony needs all the help he can get and you and Defender aren't exactly helpful when he asks for help."

Stephen stared at you in disbelief "I help the Avengers as much as I can."

"I know, but is it really so bad that Supreme works with him? I can think of at least two reasons why that would be a good thing."

Stephen sighed "And what would they be?"

You rested your forehead on his. "He will help the Avengers save innocent people and with that you and Defender will have more free time for me."

Stephen smiled "Well..."

"And he will feel better having a role in this world. This was important for Defender, It’s important for Supreme as well."

Stephen nodded "I think you're right, as usual. Anyway, I'm sorry sweetheart. It was an unpleasant scene."

You kissed his lips softly "It's not me you should apologize to, Stephen. You said absurd things to him."

Stephen rolled his lips "I'm not going to apologize for what I said."

You sighed. "Stephen, how can our agreement work if you guys keep fighting like this?"

He did not answer.

"I'm walking on eggshells here, afraid to upset you, afraid to upset Defender, but it's been over a week since Supreme and I have talked and we've even had time to spend together."

Stephen smirked "So you and him didn’t..."

"How could we? Not exactly complaining, but you and Defender have been taking up all my time."

He smirked "That was the idea. I want him to know you're ours."

"He knows that. You don't have to give me hickeys for that, Stephen. But as far as I'm concerned, I'm his too, isn't that right?"

Stephen sighed "Yeah, I think so."

You cupped his face making him look at you "You will always be my Stephen. My first Stephen. You know me better than any of them. No need to be jealous."

"Don't ask me not to be jealous of you, sweetheart. This is something I can't control."

You kissed his lips deeply.

"But you need to control your temper and stop arguing with Supreme all the time."

He opened his mouth to respond, but you cut him off "Don't worry, I'll tell him the same thing."

Stephen nodded letting out a heavy sigh. "I'll try."

You smiled and pinched his cheek teasingly "Good boy."

"That's not what you call me when I'm fucking you." He teased with a raised eyebrown.

You opened your mouth to respond, but he kissed you instead, his tongue dominating yours as usual. You moaned into his lips and he hummed satisfied.

You were cuddling on the couch long enough for the sun to come up and you didn't realize you had dozed off in his arms until you woke up hearing voices in the living room. Stephen had also slept and you found yourself admiring him just as you did hours ago with Defender. They were so beautiful that looking at them like that took your breath away.

The voices of Supreme and Defender talking brought you out of your contemplation state and you rubbed your hands over your face trying to ward off sleep. The voices drifted towards the kitchen and you found yourself smiling as you noticed they were talking instead of fighting.

You adjusted yourself in Stephen's arms and went back to laying your head against his chest trying to pay attention to what the two were saying. Something related to a car, but you couldn't hear everything.

Maybe things could work out after all.

...

"So how are things at home now that Supreme has moved back to the Sanctum?" Natasha asked sipping her coffee.

Nat and Yelena had invited you to a coffee shop after work and you had agreed, eager to chat and being able to distracted yourself from your problems. The day had been tiring and although you had managed to escape earlier, it was still 4pm, you could feel the tiredness getting the best of you.

"I didn't know he was back" Yelena said in surprise "Didn't you say that the Stephens had banished him to the Kamar Taj?"

You nodded looking around at the cars rushing down the street. The day was particularly hot so you decided to sit at one of the tables set out on the sidewalk. "He came back two weeks ago and I'm happy to have him back."

"Do you think the other Stephens are happy too?" Natasha glanced at you through her eyelashes already knowing what your answer would be.

"They fight, a lot, but little by little I'm seeing that they are starting to understand each other better and I am hopeful that everything will be okay between them." You answered sipping your coffee again. It was bitter than you would prefer, but somehow it fitted your humor.

Nat and Yelena shared a suspicious look but said nothing.

"I hear he's working with Tony now." You said pretending you didn’t notice anything. "How exactly does this work?"

Natasha frowned "He didn't tell you?"

You shook your head "We haven't had a lot of alone time the last few days. I'm trying to fix this, but he's been working most of the time, so..."

"So you guys are together like really together?" Nat questioned to which you nodded with a shy smile.

"Damn girl, you're so greedy. Three Stephens?!" Yelena pointed out.

Voce let out a small chuckle. "It's not my fault, I can't help it."

Yelena rested her chin on her hand answering your question "He's an ass, but he's been really helpful, unlike your other boyfriends."

"Stephen and Defender help when they can. They have more to do than help the Avengers."

Nat rolled her lips "That's why Tony offered Supreme an exorbitant amount and he accepted. Clearly he's different from the others. He's been working as a sort of magical consultant."

"Why does Tony need a magical consultant?"

It was Yelena who replied "Since Thanos, Tony has been obsessed with the idea of ​​protecting the world against possible magical threats and Supreme provides him ideas and power to do so."

 "I guess it's a good thing after all. We need a sorcerer." Nat completed. "I just wish we'd gotten the least intolerable of them, if such a thing exists between Stephens Stranges." She said with a smirk clearly teasing you.

"Defender is the Stephen you wanted" You stated. "Unfortunately, Wong keeps him at the Kamar Taj most of the time."

"That's what I heard." Nat said.

You sighed. "Anyway, Stephen wasn't happy to find out that Supreme was working with Tony, but I managed to calm them down." You looked inside your empty cup "It seems my role now is to be a conciliatory force between them. It can be very tiring.”

"That bad?" Yelena asked sympathetic.

"They love you" Nat said trying to comfort you and reaching out to take your hand in hers. "And you love them. It's not a common situation but if you're finding a way to make this work you should be proud."

You forced yourself to smile "You think so?'

Nat nodded and Yelena opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by the sound of a car approaching very fast. The black Lamborghini parked right in front of the table you girls were sat at blocking your entire view and Supreme got out of the car slamming the door and coming towards you.

He was wearing black trousers and a navy blue button up shirt, the sleeves purposefully pulled up to his elbows, exposing his veined forearms. Hair carefully combed to the side, sunglasses on.

You were almost drooling when he walked over taking off his sunglasses and hanging them on the collar of his shirt.

"Hello girls" He greeted and then bent down to place a kiss on your lips. "I went to the office, but they told me you had already left."

"How did you know I was here?" You asked still stunned by his glorious presence.

He smirked "Simple tracking spell."

"Creepy" Nat replied, causing his smirk to turn into that beautiful open smile that you loved.

You just nodded, still staring and trying to convince yourself how a man could be so handsome.

"I came to evite you to dinner tonight. I made reservations at the best restaurant in town and" He waved his hands in an exaggerated gesture and a long black velvet box appeared in the air. He gave it to you. "I bought this for you, I want you to wear it tonight. Maybe with something…blue?"

You opened the box to find a necklace of diamonds and sapphires. Your mouth fell open.

Nat and Yelena exchanged glances but remained silent.

"So?" He pressed.

You looked at him still with your mouth open "Stephen this is beautiful… and terribly expensive."

His smile widened even more like somehow he understood what you said as a compliment. "You liked it then."

You nodded "Yes, yes of course." You were speechless.

Although you had a comfortable life with Stephen and Defender, you weren't used to that level of luxury. Stephen always provided for you, but money was always tight and he was always extremely proud. Both were. A jewel like that was something you never dreamed of getting in your life.

"Dinner then, 7pm" He confirmed to you and you just nodded again.

He grabbed your chin and kissed you, this time with more tongue and saliva, definitely an inappropriate kiss for where you were, even more so when you knew all eyes were on you. But Stephen seemed to like it.

"See you tonight, honey." He said pulling away and putting his sunglasses back on. "See you at work, girls." He said waving goodbye at Nat and Yelena and then got in his car and screeched away.

"And you still wonder why the other Stephens don't like him?!" Yelena said.

"He can be annoying, but we can't deny that wealth has suited him very well" Natasha completed.

...

You were in your own room at the Sanctum, sitting at the vanity table finishing up your makeup. You had chosen a blue dress that you had bought to wear at one of Tony's parties, but ended up not wearing on the occasion because the night was too cold for a dress completely open in the back. It was long with a slit that went up to thigh height. You chose black stilettos to complete the look and simple makeup. You weren't a fan of heavy makeup, usually you prepared your skin well and finished it off with eyeliner, blush and lipstick. You rarely wore eyeshadow.

You had your hair up in a neat bun and were putting on your earrings when you heard a soft knock on the door.

"Come in"

Defender entered and approached stopping right behind you. "You're going out...with Supreme I presume."

You turned to look at him. "He invited me to dinner and I accepted."

He tried to smile, but you could see in his face that the idea didn't sit well with him.

"I know I need to learn to share you, but now I understand how difficult it was for Stephen when we had our first date."

You got up and cupped his face "He said it was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life and I always feel so guilty for breaking your hearts like that."

He held your hand to his face "You are a remarkable woman, any Stephen who has the opportunity to take you on a date is a lucky man."

"And I am the luckiest woman ever." You kissed him softly and then turned around and opened the drawer taking the gift Supreme gave you. You opened the box and took the necklace.

"Allow me" Stephen said holding out his hand. You placed the necklace in his hands and watched through the mirror the admiring way he looked at the jewel. He didn't say anything though, just wrapped his arms around your shoulders and closed the jewel with some difficulty.

You turned back to him.

"You look beautiful."

You smiled and held his hand tight in yours. "I love you, Defender Strange."

He cupped your face "And I love you, baby." He kissed you softly one more time and then tried his best to smile. "Now, enjoy your evening."

...

Supreme drove very fast. Much faster than you would expect for someone who has been traumatized by a car accident.

You found yourself admiring the car's interior, but what you liked most was the smell. The mix of leather and metal mixed with the cologne he wore and the cigarette smell you hated to admit but loved.

He was attentive to the avenue you were going down, his eyes fixed straight ahead, but you couldn't pay attention to the path, your eyes couldn't deviate from him. Handsome, beautiful, gorgeous in a black suit and white shirt, his hair carefully combed and the slightly red of his skin fresh shaved. You could stare at him all night, but you doubted the admiration would wear off.

When he parked in front of the restaurant, he came around to open the door for you and tossed the car keys to the valet. His arm quickly wrapped around your waist and he ushered you inside. You were received by an extremely elegant man who kindly took you to a table arranged in the best place in the large and sophisticated hall. A crystal chandelier completed the elegance of the place and a group of violinists played in the background.

"The wine you ordered, the menu, sparkling water and lemon and a private waiter to serve you however you wish." The man reported when you sat down. "I hope everything is up to your requirements, sir."

Stephen nodded "It's Doctor, actually. Everything seems perfect."

The man gestured to a waiter who immediately approached, "This is Augusto. He will attend to you tonight."

Stephen nodded and man left. You smiled sympathetically to Augusto who was still standing waiting for instructions. Stephen then waved his hands indicating that he could leave as well.

"So? What do you think?" He asked gesturing around and opening the wine and pouring the two glasses. He raised the glass to his nose and inhaled deeply.

You smirked "It's nice."

He took a sip of the wine and smiled almost offended. "Nice?"

He clearly hoped to impress you that night.

You looked around at the tables filled with people so elegant that you wondered if your dress wasn't too simple for the occasion. "Too fancy, don't you think?"

His smile widened as if your statement was the compliment he'd been waiting for. "Never."

...

Stephen smiled, wiping his lips on his napkin and reveling in your presence. He was still learning how he felt about you, but he knew he loved hearing you talk, about anything, but especially about yourself. He knew so little about you, he felt in terrible disadvantage with the other Stephens, which is why he had you talking about yourself all night.

You had just ordered dessert when you engaged in a long explanation of why you wouldn't quit your job even though you were clearly tired of it and he heard you nodding and smiling, but basically he just let you talk.

You two seemed to have completely different opinions about a lot of things, but he didn't mind at all. At that moment, for example, he wanted to say that once he got such a good deal with Stark you would never need to work again in your life, but he knew better than that. Besides, he was pretty sure that your work was much more than the money for you.

"Anyway, I enjoy what I do. I'm good with numbers and at work I get the opportunity to get out of the Sanctum and interact with normal people." You said taking a long drink of your sparkling water. "Don't get me wrong, I love the Sanctum, it's my home, but sometimes it's so gloomy and I don't know, I think it's nice to be in a normal environment sometimes."

Exactly as Stephen had thought.

"I'm sorry I'm not part of the select group of normal people you have the opportunity to interact with." He teased making you chuckle.

"There is nothing ordinary in you Stephens, but I can’t complain, that's what I love about you, you make me feel special and safe."

He reached for your hand and wrapped it in his. "You are safe." He said smiling reassuringly. "But, I wonder if your job isn't also a way to get away from us. I imagine it must be exhausting having to live with the same man under these circumstances."

You vehemently denied "I never get tired of you, and I think I know why.”

“Care to elaborate?”

You shrugged. “ It's like I said, although you're the same person you act different, you think different, you have different tastes in almost everything, you're different persons and that explains why I fell in love with you I guess."

"How so?"

"If Defender and you were just an exact version of Stephen there would be no reason for me to be enchanted by you. It would just be a repetition of what I already know."

Stephen smiled smugly. "It's not the similarities then."

You shook your head "It's the differences."

When you got back to the car, Stephen started to feel a little more anxious than he remembered feeling before when he used to take lots of women in dates. He was out of practice, but much more than that, he was scared because this wasn't just another one of the many one-night stands he was used to having. You mean something to him and that terrified him. It didn’t help that he felt compelled to be better or at least as good as the other Stephens you already knew.

When he took a different path than the one that was supposed to take you back to the Sanctum, he questioned whether he had made the best choice. Perhaps you were more comfortable at home, but on the other hand, you had just told him that you liked being in normal places and there was nothing more normal than a hotel room. Although he was quite satisfied with the chosen room. The question was whether you would like it or not.

He could feel your eyes on him. In fact your eyes had been on him all night and he loved that feeling. It was no secret to Stephen that he liked to be looked at, he took pleasure in it and for that reason he could feel his pants getting tighter around his hips.

He cleared his throat before telling you what his real intentions were for the night.

"Y/n, I made something that I hope you like, well, come to think of it, maybe you will think I was taking for granted that you would want..." He allowed himself deviate his eyes from the road from a split second to look at you and study your expressions. You rolled your lips and the corners of your mouth were curved in a smile. He sighed "I booked a hotel room for us to spend the night, but it's okay if you want to go home..."

You shifted in your seat and he heard your seat belt release and you leaned in to kiss his cheek, your lips made their way to his earlobe and his cock throbbed in his pants with your answer whispered provocatively. "I don't want to go home, Stephen. Take me wherever you want."

...

You shouldn't be surprised to see the size of the hotel room Supreme had booked for you. It was clear he wanted to impress you with all that luxury and you were actually impressed because, aside from the times you've been to the Avengers Tower, you've never been in such a beautiful place, but the truth was, you didn't care as much for that kind of thing as Stephen expected you to and what really did it for you was his presence. Him.

He locked the door behind you and stood silently watching you. The suite was beautiful, luxurious and of a very good taste. It was huge, divided into two ambiences, one of which had a fireplace and a recamier accompanied by two other armchairs and a small coffee table in the Victorian style. The other was where the huge king size bed was, accompanied by two nightstands and a bedroom bench at the foot of the bed.

"So... what do you think?" He asked and you smiled a little shyly. "It's perfect."

He grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"You have no idea how I've waited for this moment. To finally being able to be alone with you. To do whatever I want to you.”

He took your hand and placed it on his chest, you could feel his heart beating as fast as yours. "You asked me before if I missed you when I was away, the honest answer is I've never missed anyone more in my entire life. It was almost a physical pain and when I'm around you... this is how my body responds."

You took his hand and placed it on your chest. "I know how you feel because I feel the same. I want this, Stephen. I've wanted this for a long time."

He grabbed you by the back of your head and pulled you to his lips, but this time the kiss wasn't gentle like the first kiss your shared, it was big and wet and desperate. A clash of tongues and teeth that drew a loud moan from deep in your throat, which seemed to goad him even further.

He lowered the hand that was at your waist grabbing your ass cheek and squeezing it, pulling you closer, rubbing you against his hip making you feel his hard on.

You pushed him against the wall, your two hands gripping the collar of his suit jacket pulling it down his shoulders. He let you take it off and you started undoing the first few buttons of his shirt, but then he grabbed your wrists and pinned you against the wall. He grabbed your chin making you look at him and went back to kiss you. Your hands continued your work of freeing him from his shirt and then moved down to his belt, unbuckling it.

Stephen lowered his lips to your neck, tracing the skin with the tip of his tongue, kissing, biting and sucking on your skin. He kept running his lips down your cleavage, he bit your breasts lightly and kept his mouth down your belly, kneeling in front of you and lifting your dress, taking off your panties. He made you hold your dress up for him and pulled you closer, wrapping your legs around his shoulders and diving between them. You leaned against the wall to keep your balance and threw your head back closing your eyes and surrendering to the feel of his lips and tongue ravishing you.

You've wondered many times how his smooth face would feel between your legs and the answer was heaven. It felt like you had died and gone straight to heaven. He knew exactly what he was doing and he wasted no time, his mouth never left your clit, sucking it with the exact intensity that made you see stars and you couldn't help it, your body seemed to have a mind of its own and your hips started to move, rubbing yourself against his face to get the maximum amount of friction.

"Fuck..." You tugged at his hair as hard as you could and he groaned with the sensation, but proceeded to eat you with even more ferocity. "Stephen, you're going to make me cum."

He just hummed and continued without ever getting his fill until you were squirming, your moans so loud you wondered if anyone could hear them, but he wasn't worried, on the contrary, you were pretty sure he wished the whole world could hear you.

"Stephen..." He wouldn't listen to you until he got exactly what he wanted. You let out a choked scream and came in his mouth, your entire body shaking with the force of your release. He licked you, savoring your release, drinking all your juices like a thirsty man. When he finally was satisfied he got up and turned you over, face against the wall.

You heard him unbutton his pants and unzip them. He held your hand flat on the wall and lifted your dress. He spat into his hand and brought the saliva to your slit and with a single thrust entered you to which you both moaned loudly.

He bit down on your shoulder in surrender to his own pleasure and thrusted into you with a force that caught you by surprise. You didn't know what to expect from Supreme, but you definitely didn't imagine that. However, you couldn't say you weren't enjoying the violent way he was fucking you. It was different and different was everything you wanted him to be.

"Fuck honey, look how good you take it. You like this, don't you?" He teased. His hand on your hip pressed so tight to your skin you knew it would leave marks, but you were sure that was what he wanted.

"Fuck yes... feels good." You managed to say through your groans.

He let go of your hand and grabbed your neck squeezing slowly but enough to make you gasp in surprise, but at the same time your hips moved against his thrusts wanting him to fuck you harder.

He got the message, his hands tightened around your neck, choking you.

"You like this, I can see it. Tell me what you want."

You tried to grab his hand that was firm around your waist, but he grabbed your hand and pinned it against the wall again, thrusting hard into you. His face nuzzling yours, his mouth on your skin teasing you. "Let go for me, honey. I'm in control, all you have to do is submit."

Voce moaned loudly totally caught in his web of lust. "Harder." You begged.

And harder he fucked you. You were surprised at yourself, you never thought you could surrender so easily, but there you were completely at his mercy and oh he loved it. You could feel know good you were making him feel, he was pulsing inside you and his hand tightened on your throat.

"S-Stephen... I need to breathe." You asked when the grip of his hand became almost unbearable. He let go just a bit and you felt the air rushing back into your lungs and your whole body shaking, the knot deep in your stomach threatening to break, your pussy tightening around him, your walls fluttering.

"Don't hold back, give it to me." He demanded pounding into you with such force your whole body shook.

"Want you to cum too."

He let out a noise that was somehow a moan and a chuckle at the same time. You shivered. "Want to make me cum, uh? I’m almost there. Now do as I told you."

Voce let go of the little control you still had of your body and surrendered to the feeling, his thrusts got faster, his breathing got more irregular in your ear, his hand wrapped around your neck choked you harder and you came with a plea. “Please, Stephen, please.”

And because you were so good to him, he granted your request cuming hard spurting his warm cum inside you with a groan right in your ear.

"Now you're mine too." He whispered in your ear and pulled out.

...

Stephen went to the coffee table where there was an ice bucket and a bottle of champagne as he had requested. He opened the bottle and poured two glasses and handed it to you. You were panting, your makeup was ruined, your hair was disheveled, your dress was all wrinkled and he knew his cum was running down your thighs, but you've never looked more beautiful in his eyes. You gazed at him in silence and then took a long drink of your champagne, he did the same, and then pulled you to his lips. You kissed him passionately, an equally passionate little moan escaping your lips.

Stephen could hardly believe that you were there with him, that this was real and even though he had just cum, he was hard again, in fact he didn't even soften.

"I'm going to fill the bathtub, I'll be right back." He said walking away towards the bathroom. He didn't take long to come back, but when he did he found you quickly typing on your cell phone. Stephen wasn't sure why, but he felt an enormous discomfort about it. A twinge of jealousy that was more like a snakebite.

"I thought tonight was mine. It's one of your rules, isn't it?" He didn't even try to hide the bitter tone in his voice.

You put your cell phone quickly in your purse and went back to pick up your glass from the table and smiled shyly. You were barefoot now. Your shoes thrown to the corner of the wall. "I needed to let Stephen know. He'd be worried if I didn't. I don't usually spend the night out."

He nodded. He knew you were probably right, but he still wished you hadn't done it.

"He can't go one night without you, huh?"

You shook your head "It's not that, he would just be worried, he might think something happened."

"He knows you're with me, doesn't he?"

You nodded.

"Then he would be a fool to think I would let something happen to you."

You chewed on your lip clearly understanding that you made him upset. "Stephen, it's okay. He's not here right now. It's just you and me."

He sighed letting go and held his hand out to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist. "I swear, I can't control how I feel about you. It makes me mad." He confessed kissing your lips softly.

"I'm here. I'm yours."

He smiled smugly and kissed your neck teasing you. "You're right honey Come on, let's take a bath together."

He helped you undress and got rid of his pants and boxers, and you finally got into the tub. It was a big round tub, the water was hot and there were a lot of foam. The scent of lavender was inviting and comforting.

"This feels so good." You praised, resting your head on the leather pillow and closing your eyes for a moment. He took the time to admire you. Your hair was still tied back in a bun, but now there were several loose strands falling across your face. Your face was slightly flushed and your lips were red and swollen. You were so beautiful.

The bathtub was big enough to fit the two of you side by side comfortably, but he couldn't stay away from you. Before you knew it he was between your legs again. He touched your face and you opened your eyes biting your lower lip. He caressed your cheek, his thumb pressing your lower lip. He kissed you. His tongue snaking inside your mouth, sucking yours in a kiss that screamed sex. He grabbed one of your breasts under the water and squeezed, pinching the nipple hard enough to make you moan into his lips and your hips moved beneath him searching for him, asking for what was right there.

"You want it so much, don't you?" He teased nibbling your ear lobe. He held you by the neck, but he didn't squeeze, he just left his hand there. "I think you like when I hold you like this."

You nodded biting your lip and giving him your most innocent gaze, but a mischievous smile played at the corner of your lips.

"Oh honey, I'm going to fucking ruin you."

He reached between you and directed his cock toward your entrance and felt your walls stretch to accommodate him. You were so tight and so warm. Stephen never thought much of the concept of home, but there between your legs, inside you, he felt he had found his home and like an addict, once he had tasted it, he could no longer imagine his life without it.

Your hands slid down his back and cupped his ass cheeks as you shamelessly moved to the rhythm of his thrusts. Your moans got louder as you let go and he loved hearing the sound of them.

"Oh Stephen..." His name falling from your lips in that context was so deliciously inviting.

"Open your eyes, honey, look at me." He cupped your chin and placed a desperate kiss on your lips, his other hand resting on the edge of the tub, water spilling over the sides and making a mess, but he couldn't care less. "Tell me how good it feels."

"Feels good, Stephen. You're fucking me so good. Your cock feels amazing, so big."

He grinned  "Yeah? Cock feels amazing inside your pussy?"

You nodded.

"I know, you are taking me so well. Pussy feels amazing, honey."

Stephen buried his face in your neck and increased his pace, your legs intertwined behind his back and your nails biting into his skin. He could feel your walls fluttering around his cock and your moans turned into sweet pleas for more. Faster, harder, more of his cock, more of him.

"Fuck, you're gonna cum already? You're so easy to please, honey."

You opened your mouth to respond but nothing came out and he kissed you passionately "It's okay, I'm here, I'm gonna make you cum."

He put one hand between you and started rubbing your clit as you moaned loudly.

"Yes, yes, Stephen, right there."

Stephen could feel his body on the edge. His balls were swollen and starting to tighten, his cock was pulsing violently inside you and when you came your walls clenched around him so hard it was humanly impossible to resist.

"S-Stephen" You sobbed in the midst of your climax, your eyes closing instinctively.

"No, no, look at me, I wanna see you. You look so beautiful, so perfect. I'm gonna cum too, can you feel it?"

You nodded obligingly. "Oh, fuck honey... take it." He sank his teeth into your shoulder letting himself be carried away by the euphoria of his orgasm. You two ended up panting, gasping for air and kissing desperately.

...

You were lying facing each other in the bathtub. Your feet were on Stephen's chest and he was absently massaging one of them. Your body felt like jelly. Time seemed to have stopped, the world outside that hotel room seemed not to exist.

"Can I ask you something?" You asked. You were looking at him for some time in silence, admiring his absurd beauty, the wet hair he sloppily brushed back with his hand, the broad shoulders. Your face was rested lazily on one of your hands.

"Anything." He answered.

You smiled "You told me earlier that you were out of practice. How long has it been since you…?"

He didn't seem surprised by the question. "Since I got here. Well, a little longer." He shrugged.

"Not exactly a long time."

He disagreed "To me it's an absurd amount of time."

You chuckled, poking his chest with your foot, teasing him. "That's the difference between men and women. For men sex is a necessity, for women it's a choice."

He grabbed your foot and bit your toe, making you laugh.

"What's the longest you've gone without sex?" He asked.

You thought for a moment, without coming up with an exact answer. "Well, before I met Stephen...a couple of years I think."

He stared in disbelief. "How..."

You shrugged, "I never needed it that much. It's safe to say that I was never very sexually active before Stephen. Probably because men my age are disappointing."

He thought for a moment. "It occured to me now that I don't know your age."

"29."

"Really?"

"Why the surprise, do I look older?"

He smirked. "No. Of course not. It's just that I never thought about it. So, you and Stephen... how old were you when you met him?"

“I've been with him for 4 years. I was 25."

Stephen let out a low whistle. "It's a huge age gap. Don't you think?"

You shook your head. "I like it. Like I said, men my age are disappointing. Thinkin now, I wonder if the three of you are exactly the same age."

He smirked. "I am 45."

You nodded "Stephen is 45."

"Defender must be older. He looks older. "

You vehemently denied it. "Of course not. It's the beard."

He rolled his lips, probably holding back from saying anything that would provoke you. "So you think I look younger than I am since I don't have a beard or that hideous goatee?"

You poked him with your foot again. Supreme was annoying, cocky, and there was definitely a streak of narcissism in him, but you kind of liked that. "Yeah, a little."

When you finally managed to untangle yourself from each other to get out of the tub, you dressed in one of the hotel's robes neatly folded in the cupboard under the sink. The plush, soft fabric smelled fresh and inviting. Stephen wrapped a towel around his waist and busied himself with brushing his teeth and applying some deodorant. You stood there admiring him. "You don't even make an effort to look beautiful, it comes naturally to you. Isn’t it?"

He grinned, clearly pleased with the compliment and walked over to pinning you against the wall. "Careful, I really like to be praised, it does things to me and then I'll have to do things to you." He threatened, tracing the collar of your robe with his index finger.

You made the most innocent face you could muster. "And what kind of things would those be?"

He smirked and in one swift movement he scooped you up and you crossed your legs behind his back giggling as he carried you across the room. He laid you down on the bed and you patted the mattress biting your bottom lip to tease him.

"Come here."

But he seemed to think twice and denied moving away from you. With a gesture of his fingers the armchair that was near the fireplace slid across the floor stopping at the foot of the bed. He rummaged in his suit jacket that was neatly laid out on the bedroom bench and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He took one and lit it quickly and then sat in the armchair and gave you a leering look. "Come on, honey. Let me see you."

You feigned confusion "But you are seeing me."

He raised an eyebrow "Take off that robe and spread your legs for me."

You chewed on your lip and shook your head stubbornly.

"Keep this attitude and I promise I won't let you cum when you ask me."

You pouted but nodded, untying your robe and letting it slide off your shoulders. You propped yourself back up on one of your arms and opened your legs for him.

He smirked satisfied taking a drag on the cigarette and then exhaling the smoke slowly through his nostrils "Beautiful. Now touch yourself for me."

You felt your face blushing. You had never done that. Of course, you had already touched yourself while Stephen was fucking you, but it was different. What Supreme wanted was just to watch you while you did it without taking part in it. It looked so pornographic. "I... I don't know Stephen..."

"Do as I say." His voice retained a tone of order that you didn't dare disobey.

You closed your eyes and began circling your clit with your fingers gently, testing the water to see how you would feel, but Stephen wasn't in the patience to wait.

"Open your eyes, honey. Fuck yourself on your fingers. Give me a show."

You opened your eyes and brought your index and ring fingers to your mouth and then thrusted them deep into your pussy, but you weren't having any of it, your shyness getting in the way.

Stephen took a long drag on his cigarette and then sighed making it disappear with a subtle movement of his fingers. "I think you need an incentive." He said pulling the towel from his waist and letting it fall to the floor. He stood there completely bare for you, his cock hard as a rock curved deliciously to his abdomen, the veins bulging, the tip a deep pink, almost red.

"Like what you see?" he asked in such a cocky tone you would have rolled your eyes if you hadn't been completely intoxicated by the sight of him looking that good right in front of you. Stephen gave you a cocky smile. He clearly had no problem getting naked in front of you, in fact you were pretty sure he loved it and the way you were staring, mouth open in total admiration, only served to inflate his ego even more.

He spat on his cock head and spread the saliva slowly starting to pump his cock while keeping eye contact with you the whole time. He was bewitching you like the sorcerer he was, but not using magic, just showing you his perfect body.

His hand movements were slow but had an insistent rhythm.

A low moan escaped his lips. "Come on honey"

You could feel the shyness disappearing and giving way to desire. Your fingers began to move in and out of your pussy as you were coaxed by the filth words that easily came out of his mouth.

"Just like that, honey, you have such a pretty pussy. Oh yes, finger this pussy for me. Do you think you can get off just looking at me pumping my cock?"

You let out a moan, your head nodding to his question.

"Yeah, just like that? Such a good girl doing as she's told." His voice was cut off by a long moan and he increased his pace for an instant, but then stopped, holding his cock by the base. "Look at it, honey. So fucking hard and pulsing just for you."

You took your fingers out of your pussy only to spit into your hand and drive the saliva back down your entrance, fucking yourself with your fingers. The loud, wet noise only added to your pleasure.. You could feel that you were close. "Fuck Stephen..."

He smirked, his cock throbbing violently now that it was being neglected. He clearly didn't want to come before you did. "Tell me how much you want it."

Your voice sounded shaky when you answered. "S-So much. I want it so much, Stephen."

He bit his bottom lip "You'll have it, but first, let me see you cum."

You nodded obediently, increasing the pace of your fingers. "Stephen, I need to see..."

"Need to see me jerking off? That will make you cum?"

"Y-Yes."

He grinned, spat into his palm and went back to pump his cock nice and hard. The obscenity of the scene added to the wet sounds that the friction of his hand on his cock made was what did it for you. You felt the knot breaking. Your fingers dipping into your own cum.

Stephen moaned loudly watching the scene and then hurried to you. "Open your mouth for me."

You just did what he said.

He shoved his cock into your mouth, gave a couple of deep thrusts and spilled his warm cum in your mouth. His two hands firmly in your hair keeping you there until he was finished.

He groaned and demanded "Don't swallow it."

You did like you were told and he pulled you to his lips and stuck his tongue in your mouth tasting his own cum with such lust. You moaned loudly into his lips, letting him control the kiss like you let him control everything else, cum leaking from the corners of your mouth.

 When he let go of you he wiped his own mouth with the back of his hand and wiped the corners of your mouth with his thumb making you suck on it afterwards.

Not just your body, but even your mind seemed tired after all the sex you made and Stephen seemed to realize that, because he quickly changed his demeanor and started to treat you with much more affection.

He caressed your cheek and kissed your lips lightly and dedicated himself to cleaning you of all the mess you had made on yourself and helped you to crawl under the comforter and laid next to you on the bed, but contrary to what you expected he didn't pull you to his chest, he just lay there on his side looking at you. His hand sought yours and your fingers intertwined.

"I don't want to be one of those guys who has to ask if the girl liked it, but... Did you... liked it?"

You smiled lazily. He suddenly seemed so unsure about everything.

"I did. Very much."

He nodded and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. The gesture felt so intimate, as if the two of you had done it so many times before.

"You're different." You stated.

He lifted his head from the pillow, staring at you "A good different?"

You held his hand and brought it to your lips kissing his palm. He stiffed a bit, but let go when you smiled at him. You kissed each of his blackened fingertips to which he looked surprised and a little uncomfortable, but you continued until you had kissed them all.

"A very good different." You finally answered.

...

You woke up in the morning feeling lost. In place, in time. You looked around at the unfamiliar hotel room and suddenly felt homesick. Whichever room you used to slept in, Stephen's or Defender's, it was certainly much warmer than the irritatingly white walls and sheets that now burned your sensitive eyes. Yet there was one thing there that was warm and felt like home: Stephen.

He was sleeping heavily on his stomach, one of his arms wrapped tight around your waist.

You allowed yourself to admire him for a few seconds before waking him up. His hair was all messed up, a few strands falling over his forehead. You gently set them in place, taking the opportunity to touch his face, tracing his cheekbones and his sharp jaw with your index finger. God, he was so beautiful. When he was sleeping he lose all his arrogance and became exactly like Stephen and Defender. Perhaps that was why you found it so fascinating to watch them sleep, because it was in those moments that you realized that they were exactly the same person.

You got distracted looking at him until he mumbled something you couldn't understand. You waited thinking he was waking up and talking to you, but then he went back to utterly unintelligible muttering and you smiled to yourself realizing he was talking in his sleep. Stephen and Defender didn't do that.

You lay there for several minutes watching him sleep and trying to control your little giggles every time he said something. You even managed to understand a few words like book, spell, Kamar Taj, but they were just loose words, most of which you could decipher.

It took some time for you to realize that there was indeed life outside that room, as much as you had forgotten about it in the last few hours, there was also work on which you were definitely late. You got up looking for your bag, but your cell phone wasn't inside it. You looked around trying to think where you had left it when you found it on top of the bedside table next to Stephen.

You picked it up and were speechless when you saw the time. It was past 10am. You should be at work at 7am. It was Friday, there was always so much work on Fridays. Phil would kill you. You sighed trying to understand why your alarm didn't go off until you saw that your alarm had been deleted. You stood there looking at your phone and at Supreme sleeping and you knew you should be mad but at the same time you couldn't help but smile at the realization.

You sighed surrendering and answered the thousand messages Phil had sent you with a simple: I'M NOT FEELING WELL. I'M SORRY.

You left your cell phone on the bedside table and walked around back to bed. You would talk to him about what he did, but in another moment, in that moment you would appreciate him a little bit more.

...

Sleep has always been an issue for Stephen. He always had trouble sleeping and even more trouble waking up. There was nothing he hated more than having to wake up early and that’s why his days at Kamar Taj were always a torture, because he had to wake up at sunrise every day.

Anyway, he was pretty sure he had never slept so well in his entire life and likewise never woken up more pleasantly than to the sweet sound of your voice.

He opened his eyes to see your looking at him with what he could only describe as love and tenderness. Your hand caressed his cheek gently.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." You teased with a smirk. "Do you have any idea how long I've been trying to wake you up?"

He ran a hand over his face. "What time is it?" he asked and he could see from your face that you weren't pleased that he'd turned off your alarm, but you didn't look mad either.

"It's almost 11am." You sighed "I'm not going to argue with you today, but I want you to know that I'm not pleased and I hope you don't do that again."

He smirked. You really did look even more beautiful when you spoke to him in that authoritative tone. It was as scary as a hissing kitten though. "Noted."

He held out his arms for you to settle between them. "Now come here, kiss me good morning."

You complied, kissing his lips softly, then pulled back and traced his lips with your fingertip. "You have beautiful lips. I like the way they stand out without the beard."

Oh honey. How could he resist you when you were a flatterer and he loved to be flattered? "What did I tell you about complimenting me?"

You bit your bottom lip "I can't help it." You said with a mischievous smile and then let out a small giggle. "I discovered something new about you today."

He raised an eyebrow "And what would that be?"

"You talk in your sleep." You said and kissed him again. Just a peck, like it was the most casual thing in the world. And he blushed. Stephen wasn't shy, not at all. He was a damned exhibitionist, but this newfound intimacy was something new to him. He hadn't been this close to a woman since Christine, but it sure as hell wasn't the same. You were important, you were the love of his life, he just knew it.

"So the great Supreme Strange is capable of blushing." You teased.

He cupped your chin between his thumb and index finger "I love you. I've never felt this way about anyone and it scares me. This love is so big that would make me do anything to keep it, and when I say that..." He held his hand up in the air staring at his fingers. All the memories flooding back to his mind. "I mean it."

You held his hand and directed it to cup your cheek. You kept it there. "I love you too, Stephen."

He kissed you deeply and rolled over to stand on top of you and held both of your hands above your head, with his knee he spread your legs to position himself between them.

"Stephen…we need to go home."

He shushed you "We will. But first I'm going to make love to you one more time before I hand you back to them."

You let out a small giggle. "As you wish, sir."

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[book-of-baba-fett]

Iris my love!!!

I love thos ask game and order if I could submit 3 to you? Answer only the ones you like, of course!

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited! (Totally not asking because I know there's a new chapter on the horizon.....👀👀👀)

Fic Writer Asks

Hiya Steph!!! Hope you're having a good night!!

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

So a bit ago I had this request about Rex helping you get over a toxic ex, that honestly took me awhile to get into just because it forced me to really pull from my own personal experiences. I also struggle a lot with writing more 'body worship' type things in fics just because of my own insecurities with my body, so whenever a fic includes anything like that it always takes a little longer.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

Well with Can't Let You Go, I really had debated including the part 2 and the part of the story that Reader's husband turns abusive. I was still fairly new to tumblr writing, and a lot of the community I was in at that point didn't seem to have topics that went that far and I was so concerned about possibly getting hate over it, but it was important to the story I wanted to tell. It also pulled from a deep emotional spot to write, and I put a lot of pressure on to get it right

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Well if you want something IA related 😏😏

So one thing is there's a LOT coming. I have definitly two chapters done, just working on the final edits. And the chapter that follows those is going to be the penultimate chapter for the fic. That is also VERY long, I have many fragments written and those are at about 4 pages right now, but I won't split that one just because I already know it won't have a spot that makes sense as a split, and where we get in the plot it is more fair to just have EVERYTHING in that chapter.

also since you asked so nicely; here's a lil snippet.

“Talia!” Rex shouted, and before Talia could see what was happening, he crashed into her, pushing her to the ground as another of the creatures swooped in; it’s claws grabbing the air where Talia had stood a second before. Rex raised his blaster at the creatures as they circled the ship, and Anakin shouted orders to the Batch. Talia’s body tensed; the unexpected impact caught her off guard. The debris in the air pelted her face as her back hit the hard, rocky ground, with only the roughness of Rex’s armored figure above her caging her in. She tried to center herself to the moment, vaguely aware that the Poletec that had been parked on top of the ship had lunged for Anakin, but she couldn’t focus on what was happening with the blood rushing through her head rivaling the gusts of wind from the storm. The unexpectedness of being knocked down, and Rex’s figure blocking her from moving herself quickened her breath, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to settle down, trying to remind herself that she was on Skako Minor, not under the rubble on Turia.

            Rex shifted, the hard weight atop of her lessening but Talia still lied rigid on the ground as she opened her eyes. Rex’s helmet tilted down at her but before he could do anything else Talia gritted out, “Get off me.”

            Rex tensed, his vizor staring down at her as Talia shifted her gaze to the golden clouds behind him; it was brighter, warmer than the grey shroud over Turia. Rex froze for a moment, but pushed off Talia slowly, his voice tight and clipped as he said, “My apologies, sir.”

[invinciblerodent]

Now that I'm thinking about it the next morning (with a groggy but still kind of fresher, less emotional mind), I honestly feel like... this one scene recolored Gale's character entirely in my mind, including all the scenes I didn't/won't personally see, but have seen recordings of (because I knew they weren't gonna happen in my own game lol).

Like breaking up with him, inviting Halsin in as a third, and cheating on him... yeah, knowing that Gale, if you only allow him, will all but give you his entire self in a kind of devotion that borders on zealotry, those scenes *definitely* hit a different tone. And yes, the player character's actions can definitely be understandable (from a point of view of a more realistic intensity), but... Gale IS that intense, and YOU not being that absurdly devoted to him still shows sort of an irreconcilable incompatibility in the ways the characters view their relationship.

What I mean is....

Of COURSE Gale's the monogamous sort. That's not to say other loves would be lesser, it's just that... you're his only thought. The mortal words and hands are a vehicle so imperfect that using them to express his feelings for you is like squeezing a tidal wave into a mason jar, and when you said "I'm in love with you too" and accepted him, he dared to believe you feel the same kind of sweeping, staunch, *overwhelming, singular* love he does. He says "I'm in love with you", because he can't say "Every molecule, every atom and vibration of my being, both earthly and celestial, mundane and divine, body and soul, belong to you, if you'll have it- in exchange, please let me too have all of you, let our souls intermingle, and let half of our scrambled, united beings make a home in my body, and half in yours". Because that sounds too weird, even for him, and he's... really just thinking "of course, this is what love is, everyone knows this is what love feels like, you're SUPPOSED to feel like your heart is about to fall out of your body through your mouth and asshole at the same time. You're SUPPOSED to feel like you're painfully constricted by your own mortal flesh, and like you want to melt into the other person to reconstitute the Platonic ideal of a singular human, prior to when the heavens split us all in half and condemned us to forever be searching for the rest of our complete selves in others. That's, like, totally NORMAL relationship-stuff.". (I think that's part of why afterwards he states, very clearly, that none of his feelings about Mystra are love. Because I think he DOES have a kind of love her still, that's why he says it's difficult to let it go, but it's just not what HE considers love. He'd never choose her over you, but any other person would probably still say his feelings for her are so complicated because they are still tinged with love. He understood inexclusivity with her because, um, duh, it was a toxic relationship and she was all wrong in so many ways for him, but tasting being an equal again for the first time in so long....! Definitely feels so much different! And finally feeling like an equal has him feeling almost selfish about his love!)

And of COURSE sleeping with another immediately shatters that illusion for him- in that moment he knows you didn't fall the same way he did (even though/if your love is genuine too, it's still very different from his), and he... feels foolish, like he fundamentally misunderstood the nature of your relationship, or worse- like YOU misunderstood HIM, even when he felt the most understood. (And that's also got to be frustrating, because he KNOWS that mind-melding, essence-mingling astral sex, while the best possible way to convey his feelings, wasn't a way that's immediately understandable by everyone- and there just ISN'T A BETTER ONE.)

And of course breaking up with him, or saying that this was actually just a bit of fun for you (not an earth-shattering, heaven-rending, *fundamentally self-alreting* experience of finally being seen, known, and still loved by an equal) has him retreating into humor (with that "oh, would you look at that, there's dust in my eye" line) and excusing himself to collect the mask he so carelessly tossed off and shattered in that moment of perceived understanding.

Just...... goddamn.

I'm feeling a lot of things.

So, uh.... my boy has finally got a boyfriend, I finally got Gale's second romance scene, and... man. I have a LOT of thoughts and feelings, and woefully few words to describe them. (But I'll try to keep it vague, lol.)

I honestly love how the writers didn't shy away from writing this to be something so earnestly, unapologetically STRANGE, but so heartfelt and romantic. That Weave scene, while it sounds weird on paper, I honestly don't think I've seen a romance scene that was more representative of a character before. I already felt like I related to Gale quite a bit, but now, I feel like I see him on almost a whole new level. Now, he showed just how deeply INTENSE a man he is.

Yeah, there is a bit of showboating in him (though I've always kinda seen that as less of a "look how awesome I am" and more a "look how useful I can be, please like me"), and overall he presented a pretty restrained image- but now, with that recolored by this, I feel like it all goes to show how he really just YEARNS for someone to know him. It most shows in how after telling him that you love him too, he immediately throws all his doors open, invites you in, whisks you away to the part of the world that feels most meaningful to him, shows you all that he feels important- the Weave included.

He wants to show you everything, to share all that he feels is himself with you, be DEEPLY, INTIMATELY KNOWN by you... and he just wants to GIVE you so much, show you so much love, so much pleasure, so much OF HIMSELF, that just one set of limbs, just one of him isn't even enough! He wants to melt into you, hold you with more limbs than a human could ever possess, become one with you and give you all that he is while taking in all that you are...!!!!

And all he wants in return is that you accept him, with a his... unusual, eager, awkward, kind, smart-mouthed, somewhat melodramatic, loving, silly, deeply DEVOTED self, and his love that feels so vast, he wouldn't be able to fully express it even if there were three of him. This man is so full of love for you, he's all but bursting at the seams.

I feel... emotional. I don't think I've ever been THIS moved by a video game love scene (I can't even bring myself to call it a sex scene, these mfs didn't just have sex, they made love), like I know that feeling!!!! I've FELT that before!!!!! And I, as myself, a person, not as someone roleplaying a character, felt weirdly SEEN just now!!!!

I'm just overall very impressed.

.... Oh, and the way he drops on one knee to kiss his new, dwarfy boyfriend? Just adorable. I know all companions do that when they touch a shorter player character (I still love the way Karlach crumpled into my boy's arms in the hug scene), but it still feels kinda special.

(You just know these two assholes are going to be so deeply OBNOXIOUS about being in love. Like yes, they already were, but now that they know their feelings are mutual, they'll be like... fkin holding hands while traveling, and cuddling by the fire, and all that cutesy shit. God, I'm so endeared.)

[tuesdayx]

So I thought it would be fun to do a song-by-song breakdown of our latest album Essential.

Essential started as some rough demos designated for a side project in late 2019, which then became our largest album to date in terms of song selection. Many of the themes deal with learning to cope with the changing world thanks to Covid, with a perspective of someone who had to keep working at an "essential" job with no option of self-quarantine. I was happy to continue working and being able to pay my bills over the past year, but there was always elements of stress, fear, and tension lingering over myself and everyone else in my position.

So here we go; starting from the top let's look at the Songs of Tuesday X's 6th album Essential.

1. Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams: the title was a reference to the 9/11 conspiracy memes, which as stated in the opening lines, "has nothing to do with this song." Written in January of 2020 before Covid had made any significant impact in the US, the song touches on many themes which happened to occur throughout the year, such as [another] Californian forest fire (Australia too), new diseases (Covid), a riot (the BLM movement over the summer, which I will state everything that movement has been fighting for is 100% justified and the United States is in desperate need of Police reform, as does our political system which has remained inherently racist to this day.), Civil War (and exaggeration for sure, but the civil unrest and political division in our country will soon split us apart further), more corporate giants(companies like Amazon profited more from this Pandemic than ever before and have helped further the gap between the American working class and the top 1%). Favorite line: "I won't get philosophical, I only wanted your attention."

2. The Only Difference Between You and Me is a Sense of Apathy and Your Brand New Nikes: This song is a blithing criticism of the American political system. Our two party system has left Americans with a choice between "the lesser of two evils" and allows politicians with no true interest in our needs to rise to power. The use of 3rd parties as an alternative is a overly simple compromise that would only just begin to alleviate the problems created in our political system. Both of our main parties are considered conservative parties to the rest of the world, and any progressive measures that would benefit society and reduce the effects of climate change are considered radical and preposterous by politicians with financial stakes in our crooked system where corporatations hold control and the people are treated as fuel for an otherwise worthless currency. Favorite line: "Listen to the radio, they played my favorite song. Now I'm bored and wanting more."

3. Blame it on the Elves: the title is a reference to an episode of the Podcast "Lore" by Aaron Menke (i can't recall which episode, but you should check it out anyway because it's great listen.) An instrumental interlude inspired by ragtime music of the 1920-30's, with an edge of course.

4. Class of Dropouts: This song was written when I was 16 during my sophomore year of high school and was originally featured on my now unavailable album "trees" before adopting the Tuesday X monicker. I brought it back 6 years later because I loved how raw and punk it was. The lyrics are dorky but I decided to leave them as is, it's a cool track for high school stoners to blare and let out their teen angst. Favorite line: "Walking in on my friends fucking."

5. Polaroids on My Bulletin Board: This is a song about growing up. As a 22 year old (now 23) who decided not to go to college straight out of high school, I felt isolated from my peers in a way. By going into the workfield right away I sometimes feel like I skipped a few years and missed out on a lot of opportunities. I regret not leaving my hometown sooner than I did and chasing my dreams of being a touring musician in a band. More often than not I reminisce of my youth playing shows and getting into trouble, as I now feel old and out of place in a scene I grew up in. Favorite line: "I know what it's like to be alive, I know what it's like to live a lie."

6. Labradoodle Underpass: Going back on the theme of growing up, this is about my recent experience with shows as an adult. When I was a teenager I felt ambitious and ready for anything, and I would drop literally everything to go to the nearest show. As an adult I feel introverted and constantly anxious about the world around me. I've missed out on a lot of great shows due to my own self doubt's and anxiety. Now that shows have been canceled for over a year I feel even more regret by not appreciating them more while I could. Favorite line: "23 years and a lingering fear that anything could happen, why am I here?"

7. Some Shit: This was me trying to be modest mouse lol jangly guitars and half talking/half singing vocals describing the world around me. I guess in a way it was an exercise in writing character description and setting, but otherwise it's just a chill track that almost feels aimless at parts. Favorite Line: "it's just some shit I learned from a friend. Just some shit I learned when I was trying to prepare."

8: Woe is the World: On the album this is a chorus snippet that barely a minute long (the full version is available as a bonus track on bandcamp, and it was actually a demo that turned out better than the final version.) I originally wrote this song when I was 15 with a different set of lyrics, but I came back to it while writing this album and re-wrote it to reflect my mental state and the world around me. Overall, just another melancholy track in a sea of melancholy songs. Favorite line: "you've never felt more alone than you do now, was everything worth it in the end?"

9. Then Why Was it Named Gideon?: the title is a reference to a line in Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour (my favorite series) and like the first track on this album doesn't have much to do with the song. "Gideon" is a simple love song, talking again about how growing up sucks but having the right person by your side can make all the shitty times worth it in the end. Favorite line: "it's time to move on, you're taking too long."

10. I am Here, I'm Looking at Her, and She is Beautiful: This song is entirely about the book "Perks of Being a Wallflower". That's it. Nothing else, let's move on. Favorite line: "Over Christmas I read them a poem about a brown paper bag and the boy who wrote it."

11. Try to Be a Filter, Not a Sponge: Like the previous song, this one is also mostly about "Perks of Being a Wallflower", but with elements of my own experience with toxic relationships. I like to think of it as the character Charlie's experience with Mary Elizabeth overall though. Favorite line: "She called my favorite book washed out trash, said I have no taste and I'm still too sad."

12. Lavender Spray Bottle: This instrumental dates back to 2017. I recorded the guitar part as a demo on my phone and forgot about it. Over time I forgot how to play the guitar part, so I used the demo as a basis and layered everything else on top of it. The title is a reference to a bottle of water with lavender essential oils mixed in that my ex used to fend away spiders in the house we lived in at the time.

13. Hindsight is 2020: I will admit, this is my favorite song on the whole album and was actually the last to be written and recorded. With a simple guitar part and layers of vocals, this song is a direct reflection of life during the peak of the pandemic. With curfews in place and rising case counts, I had to learn to cope with life at home during my late nights away from work. My partner was quarantined during this time and I reflected on the mental strain this put on her. Favorite line: "Don't go to work, you need the money but you're not happy when you're there. Sometimes life is so unfair."

14. I Don't Know How to Deal With Serious Emotions Without Turning Them into a Fucking Joke: the title came from a meme I found on my phone from high school. The song itself was about my own inability to handle serious emotions without coming off as sarcastic. In both the music and lyrics, the song starts as a simple confession before exploding into raw chaos. Favorite line: "it's so hard. I'm so scared, what have I become?"

15. Say Hello to My Little Friend: the last instrumental on this album. A short haunting tune that reflects the final two tracks. The title is probably a reference to Rambo or something, but I never watched it and I thought it fit the feeling of this song.

16. Minneapolis: What became one of the most emotional tracks on this song actually began as a joke. My partner was snap chatting a friend one night and they asked me to write them a song on the spot. So I improvised the first two verses and chorus of this song, referencing her going to school there at the time. I found I actually liked what I had written however, so I refined the track and changed it from a sassy country song into a melancholic lament of my experience in the twin cities and southern Minnesota. Favorite line: "I miss Camp Snoopy, and Paul Bunyon's log flume ride that went around the whole damn mall."

17. Before the Sunrise: the final song on the album is an intimate look at my relationship with my partner. Through past experiences i have become riddled with self doubt and always looking at improving myself as a person. With hopes that one day I'll be the person I'd like to be for mine and their sake, it's an optimistic tribute to my best friend. Favorite line: "the cycle ends until the sun rises again, you're my best friend."

Thank you all so much! Check out Essential and our other music on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple, and other places! I hope you all enjoyed this personal look at these songs that got me through the worst parts of 2020.

[punkscowardschampions]

Liam & Edie

Liam: get out of work early, I need your help Edie: alright Edie: what are we doing? Liam: I finished a 🎬📽🎞 & it has to be screened tonight at a specific time Edie: do you know what cinema you wanna infiltrate Edie: like, max capacity blockbuster moment or a more independent arthouse style? Edie: I have ideas for both, if you don't already Liam: gotta be sold out seats for max exposure Edie: looking up whatever dumb superhero shit is on right now Liam: put the word out for me too, yeah? 📢 you've got more 👀 on you Edie: of course Edie: keep it vague but intriguing? Edie: what's the angle Liam: my sister is Edie: your sister? Liam: she's 16, would've been Liam: today Edie: the film is for her Edie: not a hard sell Edie: every twat loves a party Liam: every twat's forgotten about her already Liam: I have to do something Edie: I'll get all the people there I can Edie: 16 is a big one Liam: I'm looking for a cake to blow up Liam: big enough to splatter lots of rows but not too huge to sneak in Edie: really do need a pram Edie: if you do wanna go big, my ma has a kiln, easy to bake in and quicker Edie: I could put it in a backpack or some ridiculously oversized handbag my sister has Liam: you're amazing Edie: you or the audience haven't tasted the cake yet Liam: be more fitting if it tastes bad Liam: like we're shoving bittersweet down everyone's throats Liam: & in their faces Edie: that's easily done Edie: toxic hazard here we come Edie: how long have you been working on the vid? Liam: a while Edie: are you happy with it? Liam: there's no more time left to do edits Liam: I gotta get it out there, like I said Liam: 18 is gonna need something bigger Edie: timing is key Edie: did you talk about it Edie: what she'd want to do Liam: looking that far ahead wasn't something she let herself do Edie: that's fair Edie: I haven't looked that far ahead before Edie: we'll make it special Edie: something she'd approve of Liam: there has to be some way to throw a party after that's not the standard gay shit Edie: an anti-party Liam: yeah, without being ☢️ & barcode tattoos about it Edie: so a disgusting cake, what else can we fuck up Edie: bastardized 🎈s are almost a given Edie: maybe we can play some party games Liam: use your talents on the happy birthday song Edie: I'll do my best for you both Edie: did she believe anything happened after you die? Liam: she wanted to come back as someone else, show up back in my life just when she reckoned it'd gotten settled & boring Liam: but I don't think she really believed that, just didn't want me to turn into one of those twats Edie: yeah, most people want to believe something like that Edie: some continuation Edie: but the percentage who genuinely do, I don't know Liam: a lot of shit she said was for my benefit of my ma's, I don't know if she knew I knew that but I did Edie: Yeah Edie: but through reassuring you, she was probably trying to give herself that same comfort Edie: again, whether it worked is unlikely, but we keep going 'til we don't Liam: yeah Liam: I have certainty in her not wanting everyone to act as if she was never here this fast, I'm going with that Liam: her friends, a lad she liked, they're supposed to give more of a shit Edie: we'll make them remember Edie: I was thinking Edie: she'd be in transition year now Edie: they're always having bollocks seminars and lectures Edie: that would be easy to hijack Edie: well, not easy, but we could Liam: you're so fucking smart Liam: I didn't even think Edie: it'd be a way to get the ones who won't hear our call tonight Edie: which are arguably the ones who need a lesson in caring more so Liam: keep it going like pass the parcel Edie: a project worth the waste of time that whole year is Liam: then a holiday, me & you Liam: where we won't waste any time Edie: are we going to find a holiday home? Liam: did you like living with me? Edie: so much Edie: I wanna live with you properly Edie: all the time Liam: then yeah, we'll find a holiday home & when we get back you can move into mine Edie: really? Liam: our mas will both have shit to say about it but so do we Edie: if they're really going to object to that degree Edie: we'll work for enough money to rent our own place Liam: & sleep wherever else we have to until we've got that Edie: as long as I'm with you Edie: I miss you when I'm not Liam: I wanna be with you all the time too Edie: maybe if we split our time between mine and yours, they wouldn't even notice Liam: they can tell themselves they're keeping a better 👀 on us if we do Edie: yeah, and it's not 'as serious' as moving in together Edie: in their minds Edie: guess it'd be better if we were going 'round sleeping with anyone and everyone Liam: I've had more offers since I got a girlfriend than before Liam: must be a shared view between our parents & lots of the girls at school Edie: 😡 Edie: adds to them feeling something if they get to fuck someone over at the same time as, I guess Liam: I'll never hurt you or let anyone else do it Edie: I know you won't Liam: I love you Edie: I love you Edie: no one is gonna stop us from living the life we want Liam: [a pic of a pram he has stolen for her to fill with stuff and there's a birthday pinata in there currently like oh hi] Liam: I found this for you Edie: 😍 Edie: Baby! Edie: you got me wheels Liam: I couldn't stop thinking about you struggling with a heavy backpack Edie: You're so sweet and I'm so excited Edie: is what's going in the pinata a surprise? Liam: I was gonna tell you but lets keep the excitement going Edie: is it 🕷s Edie: or 🦷 Liam: do you know where I can get that many 🦷? Liam: that'd be a great idea Edie: 🤔 Edie: maybe a vet's dumpster Edie: think people dentists study 'em Liam: maybe my ma kept our 👶 teeth Liam: I'll have a look Edie: Mine kept hers Edie: you'd need quite a few to make an impression Liam: the fake blood I'm gonna add will help Liam: but you're right Edie: there's loads of roadkill around mine Edie: could get that for the 🦴🦴 Liam: I don't know if I want you touching it though Liam: you could get sick or something Edie: I've got gloves Edie: the only illness they had was potentially bad eyesight 🚗 Liam: you've gotta be careful, baby Edie: okay Edie: for you Edie: how else can I help you though? Edie: the cake is in Liam: keep thinking, all your ideas are perfect Edie: I wanna be Edie: what about spiking the drinks, but not in a fun way Edie: or is that too 👿 Edie: just a laxative or something, nothing mad Liam: it don't matter, we won't drink it Edie: I definitely won't Edie: don't even miss any of it Liam: we need something that'll make them 🤮 she did lots of that Liam: only fair Edie: what does that 💊🧪 wise Edie: too much salt is a dead giveaway with one sip Liam: charcoal is probably too big a giveaway too Liam: & you can't get ipecac no more Edie: 😕 ugh Liam: we'll have to settle for the laxatives Edie: they'll make themselves sick all on their own Liam: you did make a fucking disgusting cake Edie: you don't even wanna know what I put in it 😏 Liam: I want all your secrets Edie: you can have everything Edie: [a gruesome list of god knows what] Edie: it smells so gross cooking right now Liam: don't make yourself 🤮 Edie: I'm getting some fresh air Liam: what can you 👀? Edie: from here, the pond Edie: which also smells, so I might need to go look at the 🍅🥔s growing instead Liam: go decide on your outfit Edie: what do you want me to look like? Liam: beautiful Edie: nothing more specific? Liam: nah, not until I've seen what you come up with Liam: you test well Edie: 🤞 Liam: 😍 Edie: that's what I want Edie: always Liam: I want you Edie: I can't wait to go away with you Edie: are we going to the sea Liam: we can Liam: we can go anywhere you like Edie: I just wanna watch the sun go down under the waves with you Liam: you watch that, I'll watch your face while it does Edie: You're so Edie: you make me feel like a person Edie: a real one, that matters Liam: you matter to me, Eds Edie: I'm not used to this feeling Liam: you know I'm not either Liam: we'll get used to it Edie: it's like I believe you but I can't believe it Edie: if that makes sense Liam: I get it Liam: I do need you to believe me though Edie: I do Edie: you're just perfect Liam: nah, I'm not Edie: to me then Liam: whatever's wrong with me, we're good together Edie: we're going to make a perfect baby Edie: that always feels like a person Liam: I'm gonna love it even if things go wrong Liam: I need you to know that too Edie: I know you will Edie: and I believe that Edie: I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't Edie: you won't be able to not love your own child Edie: even if it's hard Liam: & I'll wanna be with you, perfect or not Liam: whatever else happens Edie: we can do it Edie: I love you and I want it to work Edie: I wanna be a good mum and give the baby all the love and attention and everything it could ever want and need Edie: that is so much more than most people have Liam: the baby is so fortunate to have you for its ma Liam: you've done everything right already & its not even here yet Edie: I wanna do it right Edie: I can't imagine doing it wrong Liam: I know you will Liam: you set your mind on shit & it gets done, that's how you are Edie: makes me sound like an assassin Edie: don't hate that Liam: I don't hate thinking about you holding a 🔪 Edie: next video Liam: it'll be on my mind until then Edie: I can give you a preview Edie: if you show me the fake blood Liam: [does obviously] Edie: 🤤 Liam: I made extra for you knowing you'd be into it Edie: That's just one of the reasons we work Liam: are you gonna give me the rest of them? Edie: I'll start on the list but I don't know if it'll ever be done enough to be conclusive Edie: and I'd hate for you to think I'm not serious Liam: that's another reason why we work Edie: see, they keep adding up Edie: good thing I didn't commit to tattooing it on me Edie: run out of space so quick Liam: I don't think her video is done enough Liam: I don't know what to do Edie: You'll regret it if you miss her birthday, I think Edie: you'll have chances to add to it and improve on it every year if you want Edie: it's a tough one to know what's enough on, yeah Edie: 'cos what could be Liam: if it's shit I'll have ruined her birthday Edie: do you think it's shit? Liam: I can't tell Liam: I can't feel anything Edie: I can watch it before you show it Edie: or you can just do it Edie: they aren't going to forget it though, regardless, and that's what you want, yeah Edie: for them to remember her Liam: you've gotta watch it on a big screen Liam: I'll watch you & I'll know if it's good or not Edie: okay Edie: I won't tell you I know it'll be good Edie: cheapen my actual reaction Liam: 👌 what do you wanna tell me instead? Edie: another reason we work is you're talented and creative too Liam: I have to try to bring something to the table if we want a perfect baby Edie: you mean aside from how insanely hot you are Liam: its gonna look like you so that don't count Edie: maybe it'll get to be tall like you Edie: my 10 year old sister is already taller than me Liam: you only wanna be taller for kissing me Liam: there'll be a no dating rule until they're like old enough to properly move out Edie: might save your back, that's all Edie: they won't need to, they'll be happy with us Liam: I've already saved yours with this pram, I'm not bothered about mine Edie: but I am Edie: I'll invest in some stilts Liam: & have you snatched up by the circus, nah Liam: don't matter if its twins in there, I'll pick you all up Edie: 🥰 Edie: you make me look and feel like that emoji, legitimately Liam: [a picture of some random people he's sneakily taken a photo of while he's out and about and changed so they have no eyes because he misses and wants to see her rn] Edie: ooh baby Edie: 👁s would be a great pinata filling Liam: have we got time to turn 🍇 or some gay shit into 👀 like a ma on halloween? Edie: OH Edie: speaking of mas Edie: just had a 💡 Liam: what? Edie: she has mealworms to feed the 🐦🦅s Edie: too late for the cake but how perfect Liam: genius Edie: my next idea was going to get some caviar but I don't think my wage is stretching that far Liam: I could steal some Liam: dunno where the fuck from though Edie: bet they don't have any at the spar Edie: there are tadpoles in the pond but I'm not murdering them Liam: the worms will work Liam: I'm on my way to yours, how long til the cake is cooked? Edie: you're coming here Edie: 😄😄😄 the excitement is only going ↗️ Edie: about 10 minutes, though a bit of burning can't hurt Liam: I thought you'd like a hand with decorating Edie: I'd like to see you Liam: you miss me too Edie: so bad Liam: I know Edie: come see me Liam: I kept the secret for as long as I could but I'm nearly there now Edie: no secrets, right Liam: I don't want there to be Edie: I'll tell you everything you wanna know Liam: tell me what we're doing tomorrow Liam: after this Edie: we're gonna get in the car and drive 'til we get somewhre we want to stop Edie: and we'll get fish and chips and ice cream and play on the beach and then we can talk about bringing the baby back and doing it all again Liam: the baby's face when it eats ice cream for the first time Liam: & feels what sand is like Liam: we'll film it all Edie: 🥺 Edie: I feel like I might cry? Liam: everything we don't remember any more we'll do again with our 👶 Edie: there's so much good stuff to relive Edie: stuff we didn't get to do too Liam: yeah, there's lots of shit I've not done Liam: I used to feel properly awkward about it Edie: just 'cos my childhood was weird in an 'exotic' way doesn't mean it weren't too Edie: there's loads of Irish childhood staples that we didn't have Edie: we'll make that list too, for the 👶 Liam: I can't think of a better way to start the baby book Edie: I'm gonna do it for your birthday Liam: yeah? Edie: I've got a feeling Liam: that might be knowing that I'm outside Edie: [dramatic run out] Liam: [we know he's as extra and would immediately stop whatever he's doing/ drop whatever he's holding so they can kiss dramatically, don't get a hole in that pinata yet sir] Edie: [ah you crazy kids, dunno where the rest of the fam is tbh] Liam: [100% gonna say he puts her in the pram and pushes her into this gaff like a giant nerd, so imagine her just squished in there please] Edie: [LOL adorable, try not to break it already] Liam: [you probably don't have time to do pram repairs on top of everything else lads] Edie: [we got schemes honey] Liam: [if you don't draw on each other with icing pens when you're decorating this cake I don't wanna know either of you] Edie: [my boo has put her foot down] Liam: [all the tattoo practice and ideas in any possible artistic medium thank you] Liam: [we all know what saucy behaviour you'll be getting up to as soon as he gets there though] Edie: [but the softest ever tbh 'cos a tough day and you just wanna make sure he's okay] Liam: [honestly there's only so busy you can keep yourself boy, we all see you] Edie: [not gonna force you to talk on it but also gonna be clear it's an option] Liam: [he's just trying to get today over with as if tomorrow and on any other day he won't think about it, oh hun] Edie: [mood] Liam: [where is his mother? what is she doing rn? those are my real questions] Edie: [sad things don't think about it Liam: [anyway we know the vibe so is there anything else you wanna make a point of happening rn before we skip to the aftermath?] Edie: [hmhmhmmm we can probably skip] Liam: [everyone gonna be cross at you lads] Edie: [I like to think the fam was there earlier so they were already moody, but then you come back with the police and you're gonna skip town tomorrow so lol] Liam: [his poor mum having to go down the garda station when she's already living her best life, likewise gonna be in a great mood] Edie: [safe to say you will not be invited back tonight gal] Liam: [Rio is gonna tear Liam a new one cos he was all I'm gonna look after her it's chill when they last talked haha] Edie: [oh lordy] Liam: [I just hope they got to do all their creepy plans before the police ruined it] Edie: [or at least the important ones, and that it went well in that people are talking about it] Liam: [gotta let you have that] Edie: [tis important and a mood] Edie: how's your ma now Liam: she's still going Edie: I thought she'd like it Edie: if you explained what you did Liam: she likes what we did but not how Liam: she don't understand that playing it in the sitting room wouldn't work Edie: she wants to keep it all private Edie: if people feel uncomfortable it's only because they should Liam: we know that Edie: is she more 😭 or 😤 Edie: one is easier to deal with Liam: it's both, at the same time for a while Edie: that must be so exhausting Liam: it's just what she's like Edie: you've not really known her any different? Liam: I must have, but I don't remember Liam: not clear enough Edie: I'm sorry Edie: if I could've taken the blame harder, I would've Liam: I don't want you to take any of it Edie: I don't care about getting into trouble Liam: you will if it sticks next time & you maybe can't earn as much cash Liam: be the perfect ma you've set your heart on Edie: not at the sake of you though Edie: it's so unfair I couldn't take my fair share Liam: you did, you weren't there for the shit I did before that got me my talking to from the 🐷 Liam: it's about her not you Edie: yeah, I know Edie: wish we'd saved the pinata for them though 🐷🤮☠ Liam: we'll make a 🎬📹 I've still got the rave masks Edie: Yes Edie: it's the least we can do Liam: you'll feel a bit better at least Edie: no, it's not about me Edie: how do you think it went, before they showed Liam: you thought it went decently I could see it in your 👀 Edie: it did Edie: it was beautiful Edie: but did you like it? Liam: I reckon she would've Edie: she'd be proud, for sure Liam: yeah Edie: but I am, whilst I can't guarantee that Edie: I can this Edie: are we still going tomorrow Liam: I'll show up, if you can't get out send me a 6 Edie: I'll get out Liam: safely Liam: I'm not gonna watch you fall out your window Edie: I won't, babe Edie: no guard dogs here Edie: they can't keep permanent watch Liam: no 🔥🌉 either though Liam: your ma must already hate me Edie: I'm not staying though Edie: I'll pretend to listen to them Liam: I understand baby, I don't want to be here Edie: I want to take you to the beach Liam: we'll go then Liam: smooth it over after if we have to Edie: I don't know how to care about making them happy, never mind doing it Liam: all you need to do is say what they wanna hear Edie: wait 'til they hear about the baby Liam: we just won't tell them until your 🤰 makes us Edie: but 'til then Edie: literally who knows what they want Liam: we know what your sister wants, she told me Liam: we'll base it off that, be good Edie: 🙄 Edie: she's a fine one to talk Liam: don't you wanna behave with me & for me? Edie: for you, not them Liam: I'm only asking you to do it for me Liam: so they won't be getting in our way Edie: what do you want me to do now then? Edie: tell me Liam: explain why we did it but pretend you're sorry that it got out of hand Edie: alright Edie: I'll hate every second of it but I'll do it Liam: I'll make it up to you Edie: tell me how Liam: 💍 Liam: I'll get you one Edie: you already got me a pram Liam: that was for the 👶 too, I wanna give you something that's just yours Edie: oh Edie: will I have to hide it too though Liam: as long as you don't bury it Edie: we could pretend it's not THE 💍 Edie: put it on a different finger Liam: you've still got great ideas after earlier Liam: you really are a genius Edie: Hardly Edie: I'm just trying very hard to be very good for you Liam: you don't even have to try Edie: I do when it means having to hide how I feel about you Liam: nobody can say shit about me promising to marry you one day Edie: they say all kinds of shit Liam: you don't have to hide that we're in love whatever they say Edie: I never will Edie: they know I am, that they can't change that Liam: if you don't wanna be good we can leave tonight Edie: you're right that it'll make shit easier Edie: I can ignore them Liam: I don't care about shit being easier if you're not happy Edie: I am happy Edie: they might not be happy with the way it's come about but they can't harp on it too hard without making me miserable Liam: I couldn't have done everything today without you Edie: I'm glad I could do that for you Edie: that's how it should be Edie: is going to Edie: I've got your back, you've got mine Liam: yeah, like a family Liam: me & you are, however long this baby takes to show up Edie: there's nothing you could ask that was too much of me, seriously Liam: not a test this time Edie: can handle it either way Liam: I know 👀 Liam: but I can't handle missing you more than I do, if you wanna like be a huge bitch to me or something like Edie: I could try if you wanna be less loveable for a sec too Liam: one sec I'll have to try & stop thinking about how alive you were tonight first Liam: & find a less gay way to say it than that while I'm working on it Edie: you say gay, I say workable lyric or tat inspo Liam: when you've filtered it through your 🧠 it'll be right Liam: all I know is beautiful wouldn't be good enough Liam: 🎇🎆 Liam: either Liam: I think the closest would be when you get a puddle of petrol, all those colours, that kinda bullshit Edie: I wish I could tattoo that onto me Edie: a bruise would be closest to that Edie: but I wish I could see me how you see me more Liam: I'll start filming, see what I can do Edie: you have a year 'til my birthday too Liam: lots of chances to get footage then Edie: be good for the baby too, when it grows up Edie: see we loved them before they even got here Liam: we'll record as much as we can Liam: starting at the beach tomorrow Edie: we'll make a sandcastle dreamhouse Edie: and find the perfect shell to start a collection for them Liam: I don't think I've ever made one Edie: 1/8 ratio water to sand is a good start Edie: then it depends if you want the castle buckets, or a plain one so you can sculpt it yourself Edie: add seaweed, shells and pebbles, et voila Liam: I'm gonna look for enough shells to make a mobile too Edie: 🌌🧠💡 Liam: maybe we can make it sound on top of looking nice Edie: if we find some driftwood too, that would be 🔝 Liam: we'll go back if we don't Liam: until we do Edie: if we like it we can move there Liam: what kind of 🏠 do you want? Edie: one that's the perfect size for just us three Edie: and always feels cosy and like a home and is the place you actually always wanna come back to because it's that comforting Liam: 🗺❌ Liam: I'll take you hunting Edie: maybe we'll find another to takeover when we're down there Liam: lots of them are holiday homes now summer's over they'll be empty Edie: and not everyone invests in good security, even though they're rich enough to Liam: pick the one you like best, I'll get us in Liam: most people don't bother changing their alarm codes from the default Edie: right Edie: they kinda deserve it Liam: if you're not gonna treat your shit like you want it, someone else will take it Liam: why not us Edie: 9️⃣9️⃣9️⃣ Liam: how long can we stay this time without your ma calling that number herself? Edie: when we're on our way, I could tell her we've gone Edie: rude of her to stifle our creativity 📹🎞📼 Edie: but if we give her something, she might freak less Liam: you got any 🎁 in mind? Edie: you mean getting her a stick of rock or? Liam: whatever works Liam: you know I'll do it Edie: It's not even you, they admit they don't know you Edie: maybe we give them the chance, when we do come back? Liam: 🎲 Liam: alright Edie: it might be totally unbearable Edie: I make no promises to the contrary Liam: you don't have to, you'll be there Liam: unbearable is when you're not Liam: like now Edie: I know Edie: it hurts my heart not being with you right now Liam: if my ma decides to stop, I'll call you Edie: do Edie: I'll get out of here as soon as I'm physically able Liam: me too Liam: even if it means I'm waiting outside for you 👀 Liam: 🛰🌏 Edie: You can wait outside my window any time Liam: 📹🎞📼 Liam: 🤫 Edie: 😳 Edie: everything you do is hot Liam: I'm thinking about you whenever I do anything, maybe that's why Edie: I won't dispute that Edie: even though you definitely deserve more credit Liam: you can give it to me when the credits roll on your film & you realise what you look like to me Liam: & that everything I do is to turn you on or make you smile, laugh, all that happy shit Edie: I don't know what I ever did to deserve you Edie: but I'll be a better person from now if it means I get to keep you forever Liam: nah, don't change a single thing Edie: 🤏 😈 🤏 😇 Edie: got it Liam: we won't show every 🎬🎞 to the 👶 Liam: or every 🎤🎧 either come to think of it Edie: got to have things to protect them from Edie: may as well be us, not actually a threat Liam: [sending her all the cute baby videos such as when they eat a 🍋 etc like this will be us because we can't be dealing with our mother popping off anymore] Edie: [sending her stuff of the twins 'cos that big sister evidently lol] Edie: him* soz babe Liam: [Grace would die if she knew] Edie: [when you are 10 and MORTIFIED honey] Liam: [when his ma is having a breakdown and he's just spamming the bae with random adorable baby content from the internet casually] Edie: [so sorry to your ma but also not sorry we did] Liam: [he can't handle all your emotions gal I'm soz, we're living our best fantasy life here instead] Liam: [I vote this happens until he can actually call her and thus end the convo cos we know they highkey enough to do that]

[quokkalatte]

Mixtape pt. 4 [M.YG]

Part 4

Category: One Shot series

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Female!Reader

Summary: Living as an aspiring rap artist in Seoul, all you want to do is work on your music and try to get your name out there. Of course when you have someone as annoying and spiteful as Min Yoongi makes that extremely difficult. Until he decides to help you out.

Warnings: smut, language, some Namjoon action (which ofc is a warning cause oof), angry Yoongi, alcohol consumption, perhaps some angst but not really

Warnings for this chapter: Honestly none except slight mentions of sex

Author's Note:so sorry it took so long to get his out thank you for being patient ♡ this chapter is short. Like really short but I'll try to make the next one longer ~ Autumn

Tags; @notsolovelykarsyn @psychoticshawtyy

Cannot tag: @deesixx2801

[Message me to be added to the tag list so you can be notified for new updates]

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It was like clockwork, waking up again and feeling angry and bitter at myself. Making myself something to drink and brooding and contemplating telling Yoongi not to come, tell him I'm sick. Any excuse not to see him again.

I sat on the couch, staring at Yoongi's contact, chewing my lip. I pressed his contact and texted him.

Me: don't come today, I've come down with something

Jerk: OK

I sighed, putting my phone down, going to take a long shower and try and get over the pounding in my skull, drinking was never a good idea. I undressed, stepping into the shower and allowing the steaming water to pour down my body, my eyes closing in content. I lathered myself in soap and wrapped myself in a towel, ruffling my hair with another to dry it faster. A faint knock had me frowning, dropping the towel I was drying my hair with I quickly adjusted the one covering my body, making sure I was appropriately covered, I went to the door, checking the peep hole and nearly yelped in shock.

Yoongi stood outside the door, container in hand and two drinks in another. His blonde hair was tousled and he was peering down the hall at something, scratching at his neck for a moment, pushing the grey goodie he wore for better access. I let out a short gasp. I told him I was sick! What was he still doing here? I backed away, from the door, eyeing it like it was deadly or toxic.

"Open the door Y/n I know you aren't still asleep, you texted me 30 minutes ago" Yoongi's aggregated voice came from the other side of the door. I swallowed and glared

"I told you I was sick Yoongi"

"And? Just let me in please your druggy neighbor keeps peeking at me and it's unnerving" he says, the last part fading into a whisper. I groan, pulling the door open, and Yoongi steps in quickly. He freezes once he sees my attire. Color floods his pale cheeks, and I blush darkly. "Uh, did I interrupt something?"

"N-No I just got done showering. I wasn't expecting you to still come" I mumble, excusing myself to dress, leaving Yoongi in my living room. I quickly pulled on a hoodie and sweatpants. I found him peering around my desk, and I clear my throat, and he turns to me. "Finished?" He asked and I roll my eyes.

"I still don't know why you're here, I told you not to come"

"I was already on my way when I got your text, and it wouldn't be the first time I've been around you when you're ill" he prompts, walking over to my kitchen island and setting the box and drink tray down.

"Have you considered maybe I don't want to see you?"I snap, fed up with him already. Memories of last night kept swimming in a haze, the alcohol making it dim to remember everything, but I understood the jist of watching Yoongi stick his tongue down some girl's throat and going to bed with her.

"Have you worked on a song yet?"

He completely ignored my question, opening the box and the tempting smell of sushi wafted towards me. I folded my arms, and huff

"You didn't answer my question"

"You didn't answer mine" he smirks, plucking a sushi roll and plopping into his mouth. "I brought you some too come eat" he mumbles, his cheeks puffed as he chewed. I growl in frustration and take one. "Well?"

"Yes I've worked on the song" I grumble, remembering the furious drunk scribbling I did last night in anger. Yoongi swallowed, taking a drink from his cup and dusted his hands on his pants.

"Let's see then" he asks, and I walk over to my desk and snatch the papers and handed them to him. He raised his eyebrows at me, before scanning the angry lyrics. I knew what they were, those were the one thing I remember about last night. The lyrics spoke of harsh love, love that wasn't reciprocated and the pain of having to watch him move about and not do anything about it. I suddenly realized the inspiration of the song was reading it, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth formed the words. I grew nervous, wanting to know what was running through his head. He read through them twice before handing them back to me.

"They're very meaningful, full of emotion. I'd tweak the grammar a bit and take out a couple of repitions" he says, but his mouth moved as if he wanted to ask something else. His tone was guarded and he took another sushi roll and chewed it. I nod, returning the paper to the desk. The silence that followed was awkward. Yoongi wanted to ask something, I could see it in his eyes. It did nothing more than agitate my already hostile mood with him. He chewed the sushi in silence, eyeing me as I watched cars come and go out the window above my desk. It got to much.

"Just ask what you want to ask Yoongi" I sigh, turning to look at him. He seemed embarrassed that I had caught him, but as he eyed me, his nervousness quickly snapped and he spoke.

"Is the song about the guy you're with?" He asks, tone cold and judging.

"What guy?" I frown at him, halfly with exasperation

"The Panda Express guy" he said impatiently, like I was an idiot of some sort. My eyes widened and a blush rose on my cheeks.

"I'm not seeing the Panda Express guy Yoongi" I growl.

"Are you sure?" His tone mocking.

"Positive."

"Then what are the looks he gives you every time we go out after a session?"he accuses. I groan, this boy. He acts almost like he's jealous. Which couldn't be true considering the activities he had partaken in merely 12 or so hours ago.

"That's what they are Yoongi. Looks. He kept trying to ask me out but I turned him down. He thinks we have something special after we drunkenly kissed at a friends party over a year ago" I scoff. Yoongi squinted at me, trying to see if I was telling the truth.

"Jimin?" I groan, wanting to strangle him.

"Just a friend"

"You sure?" His tone was sharp "you seemed awful cozy last night"

"Dammit Yoongi I don't like Jimin! I don't like the Panda Express guy! I've never done more than kiss a guy so stop treating me like I'm some common whore" I yell, fists clenching in anger. Yoongi blinked, taken aback my my outburst. He looked guilty for a split second, and he eyed me. I blushed, realizing I had admitted my viginity to a guy who had probably taken many.

"You've never had sex?" He asks after a pause. I turn my eyes to the ground, not meeting his gaze

"No. Never found a guy I liked enough to do things with" I mumble. I didn't like the silence. That all that seemed to be happening were bouts of awkward and tension-filled silence. I just wish he'd speak. Yoongi was always bad with words, except when he was rapping. Then he could spit out words faster than I could comprehend.

"Neither have I" I was caught in my thoughts that I almost missed him saying it. I looked at him, and he looked back. This pissed me off. I balled my fists, walking over to him, and grabbed him by his hoodie. He yelped as I dragged him towards the door. The shock must have allowed me to do so, considering Yoongi was taller than me and more built. I shoved him towards the door.

"Get out" I snap. "I don't want you here again. If all you're going to do is patronize me and slut shame me and tell lies then I don't want you here. Ever" Yoongi sputtered at me

"What are you-"

"No!" I cut him off "you don't get to listen to me announce my intact viginity only for you to reply with you haven't had sex either" I growl, pointing my finger in his face.

"I havent-"

"Liar! You had your tongue down some poor girls throat just last night! I saw you so I dare you to deny it" I hiss. He swallowed cautiously.

"I won't deny it, but I didn't have sex with her" I snort and he glared at me. "it's true. I was going to, but I stopped. I always stop. I can't bring myself to do it" he mumbles, running a hand through his hair. I frown, not fully believing him. He always had girls at parties, every single time. He'd take a girl upstairs, and now he's trying to say he's never slept with them? I was doubtful.

"Why do you stop? They're pretty and eager" I ask

"Because I don't like them. I don't want to have sex with someone I don't care about. It needs to mean something." He says. I study him before replying. He seemed honest and genuine, I didn't see a trace of a lie on his features. My next question I knew would anger him, it was a touchy subject, but I couldn't deny my jealousy that wiggled it's way into my head.

"The girl in the song you wrote for, is she special?" I ask. Yoongi's gaze was intense, and I had to will myself not to look away. I stared into his brown eyes as he spoke.

"More than she could possibly know" he says, his voice low and calm. The air sparked with a new kind of tension, created from his words and gaze. It sent pickles of emotion up my spine and caused a round of goose bumps to grace my arms. The jealousy egged me on, I wanted to know more about this girl that apparently plagued his thoughts enough to have a song written for her. Did she know about the crush Yoongi was harboring so deeply for her? Maybe not, or they'd be together already.

I didn't realize how close Yoongi was to me. His face hovered inches away from mine. I could feel the exhaled breath fan across my face and the heat his skin put off warm the air between us. It chilled me, him being so close and my cheeks spread with warmth as I realized he hadn't broken eye contact. He licked his lips, and leaned forward just slightly, his breath setting me aflame.

The loud sound of a phone ringing caused us to jump. Yoongi stumbled back into the door and I turned to find the offending noise. Yoongi phone was vibrating and ringing nest to the food and drinks. I tried to still my rapid hear beating as Yoongi quickly walked over to it, picking it up and answering it.

"Hello?" His voice was higher pitched and his cheeks were flushed pink. Incomprehensible words came from the other side. Yoongi hummed "okay I'm in my way. Try to get him not to move it" he says and hangs up. He glanced at me "I need to go"

"What happened?" I ask, instantly worried. He wrinkled his nose

"Namjoon's roommate, Seokjin, got his hand caught in the sink. Reached down to grab something and it got stuck. I need to go help get it out while Namjoon panics unnecessarily" he says. I open my mouth to respond, to tell him I wanted to come, but he was already out the door with a quick slam and a rushing sound of clothing, leaving me alone and confused.