#she can see things that others can't and can empathize with others more than anyone else
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Ichika Sakurai
"Back then, when I was admitted to elementary, I realized there was something different about me, and was doomed to keep pretending to be the role assigned to me. The moment I transformed into the Pink, I was able to be true to myself, screaming out loud, defying the doomed fate, that's what it felt like...I think the last time I got this kind of feeling was when I came out to you, that even though I was born a male, I've always identified myself as a girl. Back in eighth grade, remember? Nowadays it's better known as being transgender. Thank you for accepting me for who I am."
#the high school heroes#tokusatsu#sakurai ichika#ichika sakurai#momohero#momo hero#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.gifs#umbrella.posts#this was 5 gifs but i made it 10 bc i wanted shots of her in the suit#this one is for the toku fans who adore ichika and see themselves in her#i think she's a very important character and has had a great impact on people#she knows who she is and her team has her back no matter what#she can see things that others can't and can empathize with others more than anyone else#queen of talking villains down and letting them self-reflect before allowing attempted murder to occur
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my thoughts on Charlastor and Alastor calling Charlie "the daughter he never had"
this will be a very long rant/vent/whatever. also, a kind of... agressive one. if u wanna read, read it, if u don't, don't, idc and idm. I don't know if some antis take things for convenience (that way) or if they really are naive, because the fact that a manipulative guy like Alastor, whose intentions are unknown, tells Charlie that he sees her as "the daughter he never had" DOES NOT SOUND as CUTE to me as many DO seem to think it does.
I don't know if they don't realize the relationship Charlie has with her parents and how Alastor seems to take advantage of her.
From the pilot we realize that Charlie has no contact with her mother. In the series it is established that they have not seen each other for 7 years.
The first episode JUST talks about Charlie having so called "daddy issues" as her father, Lucifer, is an absentee father.
Charlie appears to NOT have had a close relationship with ANY of the two for some time (or quite some time).
The only person Charlie has is Vaggie, to protect and care for her (here's why Vaggie is so "boring", as some people call her, as she is acting as a guide/parental figure for Charlie, even though their relationship is romantic).
Where am I going with these points? That I think it's complete nonsense for people to take super-literally what Alastor has said: "you're like the daughter I always wanted to have".
Isn't it convenient for the most feared overlord (not the strongest) to approach Charlie and find that she's not as vulnerable as he thought (because Vaggie is there)? Isn't it convenient for Alastor to make a very absolute polarity between Vaggie and him in the pilot, where Vaggie comes off as the "bitter one" and he as the "fun guy"? Isn't it convenient for Alastor to PROVE to Charlie over and over again that HE knows what SHE NEEDS by pulling his tricks? And, oh, surprise… Isn't it even more convenient that when Lucifer arrives, who has a lousy relationship with his daughter, Charlie, Alastor rubs it in his face that he is doing everything that he (Lucifer) is responsible for, and furthermore, hits him right where it hurts, manipulating Charlie so that she seriously BELIEVES that Alastor REALLY sees her that way, and thus making her STILL not have a GUIDE other than HIMSELF?
I'll make it simple for you. You know how narcissists work? They will make you believe that YOU are special, and at the same time, they will ALIENATE you from your loved ones to keep gaining whatever they need from you. Charlie is, literally, his supply.
Alastor is a psychopath and narcissist. Do you really think that someone who can't genuinely empathize and love is literally going to feel affection for a grown woman who is very naive and doesn't even have power over her kingdom because she is so immature? Don't you think it is VERY OBVIOUS that he has literally said to her face: "I'm going to manipulate you in my favor because thanks to me you have all these upgrades in your stupid hotel"?
Alastor hasn't as such made a deal with Charlie, but he's winning her over in HIS way.
And I don't know who's crazier: charlastor shippers like me, who don't give a damn about canon and want to enjoy shipping WITHOUT bothering ANYONE (and don't come out with the stupidity that it's a "proship". Proshipper doesn't even mean "problematic ship", it means that you are FOR shipping whatever you want, living and letting live, without HARASSING others. Let's remember that Hazbin Hotel characters DON'T. FUCKING. EXIST. Alastor is not going to come out of the screen to say: "omg, user, thanks for defending me from those evil shippers uwu", or Charlie to say: "thanks for defending me, you're so good, user…. You're such a good person". Pro: "in favor of", shipper: "shipper, ship", however you want to call it. Don't modify terms to suit yourselves because you can tell that many don't even know how suffixes and prefixes work in words. Neither Charlie nor Alastor are going to die because someone shipped them. They are FICTITIOUS characters. The FANON is not going to change the CANON. Learn to sepparate stuff, ffs. Go out and touch grass once in a while) or antis who put on a pedestal what Alastor said, believing it as a justification to ATTACK people in the fandom who shipped something different, according to them, "problematic".
There they do forget that Alastor is a manipulator, that he is a person with a LOT of arsenal to get his way. There they forget that he IS a guy Charlie should NOT trust. There it DOES count because IT CONVENIENTS THEM. That's when the canon MATTERS to them. There it COUNTS. It doesn't matter if Charlie gets hurt because of trusting Alastor, they only see what they want to see. If you guys are going to humanize this fucking characters, at least be a little bit logical. Got me? Remember what Viv said?: "ship whatever you want, JUST DON'T HARASS ANYONE". These people say: "fuck what Viv says", but on this occasion, since she DID say something convenient for them, it DOES matter what Viv says now, doesn't it? Hypocrites.
Charlie has no one beyond Alastor, and I don't remember where I read that theory, whether it was here or elsewhere, where they talked about Alastor looking for a way to alienate the hotel itself in one way or another. That's why he doesn't use very flashy technology (Vox can travel through the latest electronics, and the hotel has an old box TV), nor does he go out of his way to provide anything of good quality (like the video camera). The hotel has its own power supply (we see this when the blackout occurs during the song between Alastor and Vox).
Alastor DOES NOT WANT Charlie as his daughter, he's just taking advantage of her to get whatever he needs to get out of her.
Charlie doesn't even seem to know exactly how her powers work, and the only person who can teach her is Lucifer, her father. And if Lucifer is out of the equation, Alastor can do whatever he wants.
He's hit Lucifer right in the jugular, and Lucifer knows that all the power in the world can't make up for the wrong he did to Charlie.
Anyway, if a real anti thinks Charlastor is problematic because "AlASTor AlreADy SaiD hE sEES hEr As a DauGhtER," I remind them that they are not dealing with a character who cares about others beyond maintaining his own status, and ffs... they're not even real. KEEP SHIPPING. KEEP DRAWING. KEEP MAKING FANFICS. FUCK THESE PEOPLE THAT TRY TO HARASS YOU, FUCK THESE PEOPLE THAT TRY TO MAKE EVERYTHING "PURE" ON A SHOW ABOUT DEMONS AND HELL. FUCK THESE PEOPLE TRYING TO MAKE A FANDOM THEIR OWN FUCKING WAY BECAUSE THEY CAN'T HANDLE THERE'S A LOT OF DIFFERENT VIEWS. FUCK THEIR SAVIOR COMPLEX, JUST COMING AROUND WHEN IT'S ALL ABOUT CHARACTERS THAT DON'T EXIST, FEEL, OR THINK FOR THEMSELVES, BUT DISAPPEARS ANYTIME SOMEONE REAL COMES, HARASSING AND SENDING DEATH THREATS TO THEM. FUCK THESE PEOPLE, GIVING PSYCHOLOGICAL DIAGNOSES OVER A FUCKING TIKTOK VIDEO OTHER ANTI MADE JUST BASING THEIR THEORIES ON THEIR FIST RESULT ON GOOGLE. FUCK YALL, CAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON YOU WHINE ABOUT THIS FANDOM. JUST AS WE SAY IN SPANISH: O LA BEBES, O LA DERRAMAS.
#alastor#alastor the radio demon#angel dust#charlie morningstar#hazbin alastor#hazbin angel dust#hazbin hotel#hb#helluva boss#sir pentious#cherri bomb#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#leviathan#beelzebub#charlastor#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin#niffty#husk#hazbin hotel husk#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin hotel charlie#lilith morningstar#proship#proshipper#i did nothing wrong fuck you all (apology post)
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Constantine's character introduction:
Description: Constantine is the first child of Lilith and Lucifer, 6 years older than Charlie and the crown prince of Hell
-Constantine is rational as a person, he doesn't approach anything with emotions, he sees everything as a plus or minus or as moves on a chessboard.
-Constantine would probably tell you the perfect way out of your problems if you went crying to him for advice, but he wouldn't try to console you emotionally.
-Constantine has the philosophy that everything is fair game for victory, if victory is the result it doesn't matter how much of a monster he is on the road, for example if it means protecting Charlie he will gladly do things to make Charlie hate him and not regret it, after all his sister will be safe even if she hates him.
-He's calm and patient and proud and egoistic, and his pride and ego comes from the intelligence and power that he has in general.
-Constantine is one of hell's foremost intellectually and is seen as having great potential even by his family. Even as a child he was able to grasp very difficult spells with ease and never had a problem memorizing spells due to his photographic memory.
-But this intelligence has a side effect Constantine can't feel emotions very well, he can't comprehend them very well, he can't empathize with someone, sometimes he even thought that Charlie inherited the angelic and humanoid parts of his parents (it could be said that Charlie has enough empathy for both of them).
-And since he knew what hell was like, he knew that if he was powerless he would not be able to protect his sister or himself in the future, so for a period after his 20s he devoted himself only to his education and self-development.
-As Constantine became more interested in politics, he taught himself how to be a snake with snakes, which again began to corrupt his own personality.
-It is really hard to get him angry, even when he is angry he keeps his poker face and never shows his emotions.
-He doesn't tolerate disrespect in any form and doesn't hesitate to punish anyone (except his family members and the people at the hotel (he knows that if he hurts Charlie's friends, it won't end well).
-As genius and calm as Constantine is, there's a mad genius underneath, sometimes spending weeks in his workshop and library researching and Charlie has to drag him out of there, or he can be brilliant at the hardest things and terrible at the simplest.
-Constantine is a really great wizard, often inventing his own spells and combining what he has (he may have blown up parts of the palace a couple of times, but on the bright side he created a repair spell).
----
Constantine is heterosexual, but he has never been in love, nor has he ever had a lover (he has the same capacity to understand love as a tree. He doesn't have) Lust has never been something that attracts him. For Constantine, it doesn't matter how attractive someone is, if that person can surprise him with her intelligence and see her as his equal, he will consider having a relationship with her, but lust is just salt on the dish.
in fact when Asmodeus asked him if he ever planned to make a lover he said "Lust is not something that interests me, my dear uncle, if one day I meet a woman who can surprise me with her intelligence and who I can consider my equal, I may love her. end of story''
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After the disappearance of lilith, Lucifer didn't want to be so involved in royal affairs anymore, he needed a break, so Constantine started to take care of most of the royal affairs and this increased his authority a lot over the years and now all the nobles look at the prince as a king instead of a prince.
Speaking style:
Constantine's voice is cold, he speaks like an British aristocrat from the 1800s, he chooses his words very well, he is a sweet-tongued snake, and he likes to analyze the other party and reveal their weaknesses in his speech.
Fun facts:
Since his eating habits have been transferred to his own palace, he usually eats cereal, fried chicken and dessert-like things, except for royal gatherings (I mean, he's half Angel, so he knows his health won't be affected by his diet, so he doesn't care)
Constantine has owl features, walks very quietly and can easily turn his head in the opposite direction. He has feathers on some parts of his body. His hands are like bird claws and he has great vision.
Since he and Charlie are half Angel, 4 hours of sleep is equivalent to 8 hours of sleep for them, but despite this, Constantine sometimes stays awake for days and tries to fulfill his need for sleep by sleeping for 2 days in a row (this does not exist at the moment, Charlie disturbed him and helped him to establish his sleep pattern)
Relationships:
Lucifer: Constantine had a close relationship with his father as a child, he saw him as a role model and loved spending time with him, constantly following him around the palace like a duckling. And he did his best to make his father proud, asking him to teach him new spells and enjoying their time together. But as the years went by, they started to have differences of opinion and so on. Now, especially after what happened between Lucifer and Charlie, they had a fight and never spoke again. Lucifer is upset about this, but Constantine doesn't feel much because he thinks it's the right thing to do, even though he loves his father to the core.
Later in the series, when Lucifer overcomes his pride and apologizes to Charlie, Constantine forgives him and the ice between them slowly begins to melt.
Lilith: Constantine was always closer to his mother and developed many of his personality traits after her example, and Lilith was very interested in her son's upbringing, taking care to raise him in a strict manner, teaching him everything she knew and showing him what kind of king he should be in the future.
Charlie: Constantine loves his little sister so much that he would burn every ring of hell seven times for her. And although he doesn't have much empathy etc., when Charlie is sad he is always there to support her as much as he can, he always treats his sister with respect.
When they were little the two of them were mischievous enough to do things to destroy the palace, so Constantine's most fun memories are the times she spends with her sister and as much as they love each other, like all siblings they sometimes fight or bicker, when they were little it was normal sibling bickering, when they grew up it was usually about Constantine's inability to take care of himself properly, but now, even though they don't see each other much, they often call each other and they have a really healthy relationship and even though their opinions may be divided at times, they both respect and value each other.
Serenity: Constantine describes Serenity as an interesting case. As an overlord, Serenity was the only one Constantine noticed because she was someone who tried to gain power through sweet talk and knowledge, not brutality, a woman who built her empire through mind games, and she did something surprising for a sinner: she spread her power not only to the guru ring but also to other rings, which is why Constantine found her intriguing.
When they first met at the hotel, they naturally got along well, but as time went on and they were both in the same areas because of Charlie, Constantine got to know Serenity better and realized that he liked spending time with this sinner, even though even he was surprised by it. Serenity was smart and cunning, Constantine rarely found someone who could keep up with him in conversation, and he and Serenity shared many hobbies, so over time their enmity turned into friendship and even months after they met Constantine invited Serenity to his palace. He really liked listening to Serenity's comments on his books or projects and they both really enjoyed those days but of course there is no real trust between them, one is a prince of hell and the other is an overlord but they still like each other's presence.
Hotel residents: Constantine is neutral towards them.
Alastor: Constantine and Alastor have a relationship of respect, as long as Alastor respects Constantine, Constantine is neutral around him, he doesn't get into dogfights with Alastor like Lucifer did. And Alastor knows Constantine's authority, so he doesn't do anything out of line, but Constantine doesn't like Alastor, he knows he's not in the hotel for fun, and he finds it annoying that he's trying to get close to Charlie, but he doesn't see him as a threat, he just sees him as a fly that makes a noise, and he's waiting for him to do something out of line. But of course they have a lot in common in terms of personality and hobbies, if you don't include their positions etc, they could get along well in that way.
The relationship with sins:
Bee: Constantine loves his Aunt Bee very much, even when he was little he remembers like it was yesterday when he used to stay with Charlie and his Aunt Bee always did her best to keep them both happy and she was always kind to them and when they are with her he likes to forget all the royal stuff and have fun. Now Bee is one of the few people who can run up and hug Constantine at royal meetings.
Satan: Constantine grew up closest to Satan, who saw the potential for destruction in Constantine from the time he was young and wanted to guide him, and succeeded. Constantine's perception of power often comes from Satan.
Belphegor: Constantine likes to spend time with her. Belphegor is a women who studies medicine and science, so Constantine really likes to discuss these things with her.
Mammon: he doesn't like him, he thinks he's a clown.
Asmodeus: Constantine is not very close to Asmodeus, but he likes his uncle.
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It's the jealousy fic that has no outline so it's all bits and pieces until I figure it out.
First bit here
Second bit here
--
Buck paces around his loft - well, dusting and vacuuming, but he knows what he's actually doing - until he feels like he can't be alone with his thoughts any longer. He fires a text off to his sister and she tells him to meet her outside Jee-yun's daycare, and all three of them can go to the playground for a bit for the girl to run off a little more of her energy before they go home.
Buck is happy to see his two favorite girls and Jee-yun shrieks with joy when she sees her Uncle Buck, so this is clearly a great idea. On the way to the park, Buck lets his niece ride on top of his shoulders, while Maddie strolls next to them.
At the playground there are several other kids, most of whom Jee-yun knows - Buck winces when the little girl pulled on his curls to point out her best friend - so Maddie lets her daughter play with the other children, the two Buckleys sitting on a nearby bench to watch her tear around in some incomprehensible game that seems to be tag.
"Feel better?" Maddie asks.
"Yeah," says Buck. He squeezes his sister's hand. "Thanks."
She keeps her gaze on her girl as she asks, "What's the matter?"
"Tommy and I had a fight." Buck exhales and slouches. "And it's not... It's not a small thing this time. Not like that time we were deciding between traveling for Christmas or staying here."
Maddie glances at him, her brow furrowed. "What did you fight over?"
"Eddie. Or, well, not over him. It was about the amount of time I spent with him." Buck sits up and runs a big hand through his hair, smiling when Jee-yun runs over to demand a kiss from them both, and then she sprints back to her friends. Buck's smile fades. "Tommy claims that I've spent only five hours all week with him. And, okay, I know I haven't been able to get more than a day off together with him, but that was unfair."
Always a good listener, Maddie reaches for his hand and pets it. "How was it unfair?"
"Because Eddie is alone right now and he needs me," Buck says vehemently. He blows out his cheeks and shakes his head. "He doesn't eat much, he hardly sleeps, he won't come out of his house except for work, and he refuses to go to therapy..."
Maddie squeezes his hand. "I'm sorry, Buck. I didn't know it was that bad. Did you tell anyone else?"
"About... About Eddie? Yeah, I told Frank. Because I was worried."
"Did you tell Tommy?"
Buck looks at his sister. Her big, brown eyes gaze at him, soft and nonjudgmental. Then Buck lets go of her hand so that he can bury his face in his own. "Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit."
With a long exhale, Maddie soothes down his back. "I'm guessing, from Tommy's perspective, you're spending time with Eddie because you prefer to spend time with him."
"I was so caught up with, with trying to help Eddie that I forgot... Shit. He doesn't know. He doesn't know what really happened, he just knows Chris went to stay in Texas for summer... He knows that Eddie's upset because Chris isn't around, but not all the other stuff..." Buck sits up and rubs over his mouth with his hands. "God. No wonder he's so angry and jealous."
"So what are you gonna do now?" Maddie asks.
Buck sighs. "Will I have to grovel?"
Chuckling, Maddie shakes her head. Then she waves at her daughter, who is now at the top of the slide, and claps when Jee-yun slides down without anyone having to push her. "She's so brave. And no, Buck, I don't think you'll have to grovel. But, here's the thing, go talk with Eddie, figure out how much he's okay with Tommy knowing. Then you will need to explain the situation to your boyfriend." She sighs and a wry smile crosses her face. "That's the difficult part, really."
"It is?"
"Because you know he would feel bad that he didn't understand and empathize, and you'd feel bad for making him feel bad, for burdening him with your own feelings, all while you feel responsible for Eddie and his state of mind. Which is possibly why you didn't tell Tommy in the first place, right?"
Buck shrugs. It's complicated. "Was that how you felt? When you went back to Boston?"
"That was mostly guilt, really. And I hated that I felt so bad, and I didn't want to burden Chimney with all the weight on my shoulders." She smiles at her brother. "I'm so thankful you kept checking in with me, though. Made me remember that I wasn't alone, even when I most wanted to be."
Buck hugs her and kisses the top of her head. "Thanks, Maddie. I love you."
"I love you too." She squeezes him and then lets him go. "Go see Tommy your next day off. Have a proper talk. But text something between now and then, okay? He may not acknowledge it, but I bet he is missing you."
Buck feels something stinging his eyes and he breathes in sharply, relaxing only when the feeling passes. "Yeah, I will."
Jee-yun's on the top of the slide again, so Buck takes a photo of his niece, waving and laughing, the sky a beautiful blue behind her. Then he sends it to Tommy. "Jee conquered the slide"
About ten minutes later, when Jee-yun has come back to her mother all hot and tired, Buck hears the message notification.
Tommy has replied to the photo with a ❤️.
Buck smiles to himself, and shows Maddie the text. She gives him a knowing look and tells him to carry Jee-yun on his back while she takes her daughter's school bag. It's a nice walk back to Maddie's house, and a pleasant dinner afterwards.
#buckley siblings#bucktommy#jealousy#it's the jealousy fic#bits and pieces#evan buckley#maddie buckley
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No, Benedict, love IS finite and it begins and ends with Sophie Beckett
It's a matter of time before we get s4 Benophie announcement. I have so many posts planned, but I need to be 100% sure that Sophie will be Sophie before posting them.
Meanwhile, I want to discuss Benedict's line "love is NOT finite."
This is an example of how advice may only apply to certain people in specific circumstances. Luke Thompson explained it perfectly:
Eloise needed to hear this to understand that marriage wouldn't take Colin and Pen away from her.
However, the way he understands it has a totally different meaning. He takes his advice for himself to go and have a threesome with Tilley and Paul. Luke Thompson talked about it and said:
Good for him! But the thing is that the love Ben offers is still quite superficial. Like, yes, let him experiment and be free, but what Tilley tells him is that eventually, it gets tiring. And this is not even about monogamy. If both Paul and Tilley had asked him for exclusivity, he would have still rejected them. Benedict has deep commitment issues because he has never needed to commit to anything or anyone.
For him, the "love is not finite" will bring more problems than solutions.
The way I think it's going to go is:
Ben will meet the LIS, remember what Tilley taught him, and want to commit. But she will disappear.
Then he meets Sophie as a maid and he thinks he can marry the LIS AND keep Sophie as a mistress.
He will think that he has room enough for both of them, that he can love them both and won't have to choose and lose his freedom.
Sophie doesn't think the same. For her, love begins and ends with Benedict. That's it, there's no one else. So, if she can't have him fully, she would rather let him go (I have a post planned about this because Sophie is a queen of self-respect and self-love).
Moreover, he is the one getting multiple partners. I may be wrong, but book!Benedict never thinks of the possibility that the LIS found love elsewhere. And he never talks about letting Sophie be the mistress of other men. Mistresses could leave if they got a better offer, so how is Benedict so sure that it won't happen with Sophie.
Not to mention that his arrangement with Sophie and his wife will not be in equal positions. One is a wife, the other a mistress, a dirty secret kept hidden.
In AOFAG, Ben says this:
Remember what Tilley told him?
It's all fun until you develop feelings and suddenly, you want that person just for yourself.
I know I KNOW we're tired of love triangles, but frankly, Shonda loves them and Benophie might be the season where a bit of competition can do good.
Of course, there may be the LIS-Ben-Sophie triangle. But I want to give a mini heart attack to Ben when someone else shows interest in Sophie.
I don't want Sophie to have feelings for anyone else, THAT will upset me. But think of a moment when a vendor or a solicitor goes to No. 5 and sees Sophie, maybe even one of the footmen. He's taken by her beauty and Hyacinth notices. And since Hyacinth can't keep anything to herself, she brings it up during dinner or tea time and Ben goes pale.
And that's where he's going to understand what Tilley felt when she saw him with Paul.
I would even include a scene where LW or the family discusses Benedict dancing with some lady during a ball, Sophie hears and Ben teases her. Sophie's jealousy elevates his ego, but once he learns other men are looking at her, that will make him empathize with her.
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hey I know the whole 'I did not care for winter king' thing pretty much summed it up but i'd LOVE to hear what you thought of that whole fucking episode.
IT IS SO FASCINATING TO MEEEEEEE, i mean obviously a 'role swap' universe would be regardless, but beyond the surface lies a lot of hints towards reasons why this world was so different and fucked up fundamentally!! again, my big theory is that no matter what happens our simon is not going to be able to access the crown again in any universe they visit as an extension of betty's wish, so yeah winter king's ass was probably doomed the second they set their sights on duplicating the crown but also, good , because fuck that guy
one thing that stands out to me is how our simon's morals are very different and a lot stronger than wk's, especially how he very clearly doesn't wish the madness of the crown on anyone but himself, but he can empathize with other victims of the crown. throughout the entire episode he's desperately trying to get the others to empathize with candy queen's situation as someone who knows what the madness of the crown feels like and how it warps you. but also, his approach to her is so...
like he actually vibes along to her song, compliments her "metaphor", and above all BEGS fionna and wk to see her as a person who deserves compassion, patience, and understanding... something he seemingly doesn't seem to extend to himself as ice king.
but even her madness seems somewhat suspect to him - just before her musical number he seems mystified as to why the crown's madness would make pb obsessed with him, when he knows from his reality that it's marceline that she's in love with. i'd actually argue that there is a hint of distrust towards winter king that he can't quite put into words at first, but simon's self-loathing at how "functional" his counterpart is seems to counteract his instinct and so he never pries too deeply into it.
there's this interesting reaction to pre-winter king ice king that stands out to me, almost like he's confused and doesn't recognize this specific anger and wrath to be a part of his own ice king experience. our ice king seemed to be much more of a depressed and ultimately harmless nuisance than the threatening figure he appears to be in that sequence. in fact, despite the madness, our ice king is actually quite consistent in there being a line not to cross with violence: he saves finn and jake from the hitman he accidentally hired, he refuses to kill marceline and finn when the empress commands him, he's even horrified at himself in 'I Remember You' when he pushes marceline. our ice king cares infinitely more about having friends and for people to love him and understand him than he is to actively "fix" or change himself, and in the short-circuit that is his mind he always seems to find a way to redirect his 'bad feelings' into doing something fun or impulsive than to stew in anger.
and simon isn't exactly taken in by the splendor of winter king's whole thing the way everyone else is, he doesn't stop questioning how he did it. how did he supposedly "conquer" the crown through "sheer force of will", how did he manage to get the 'best of both worlds'?
except we know it's not. and the mask-slip starts pretty ominously with his insistence that candy queen's kingdom is "forbidden". he slips up just for a moment and then returns to his whimsical wizard of oz-ass persona, and he looks almost guilty for letting on that there's something wrong here that should be avoided
which is something else i'm very fascinated by: winter king's obvious hypocrisy and the awareness of his unethical behaviour. he's quite callous in performatively pretending not to remember who betty is, and then only referring to her as "the dead one". he also seems confused by simon's heartbroken reaction to this callousness, but even more so to his characterization of her as "the great love of (his) life". he obviously has some of our simon's attachments to the past and memories of people he loved, he definitely knows and loved marceline, so why is she the only person he cares about enough to make an "ice person" of? he doesn't recall betty as someone he had a great love with - though he obviously knew who she was, so does that mean he still had some kind of relationship with her?
remember, the mere notion of finding betty so he could apologize to her literally meant so much to our simon that he was able to hide his surviving research on time portals from himself inside the ice castle, long after she would have died naturally had she even survived the mushroom war. and during the bellanoche fiasco he literally staved off death from losing his magic through sheer force of will; the intense motivation to see her kept him going in a decaying 1000 year old human body long enough for him to jump right back into his research and create a time portal to her to say goodbye. that's how much she means to him.
winter king doesn't know that betty is technically still alive, or how our simon was freed from the crown's curse. he simply offers simon a solution to reuniting with someone who he loved who is dead, without knowing how very different our betty's situation is. and that solution is to make an ice-person of that person from the time you loved them, even though you know it's "unethical".
... but betty being "dead" was always the case to our simon, he knew that she was dead because of course she was, it was hundreds of years in the future! but there was always a way back to her, and it was because of his relationship with one miss betty "ancient magic was my major" grof that he had this plan ready at his fingertips
so i think maybe either this world's simon didn't have a very strong relationship with betty, or he did but he had some reason to write her off as 'dead forever' and throw away the prospect of ever seeing her again. it's interesting that despite writing betty off, ice king's obsession with bubblegum persisted as a point of his madness and transferred to her, when even our ice king still cared a lot about "weird lady", though he didn't know who betty was.
in any case, he dismisses the subject very quickly with "jokes" that creating an ice person of someone you cared about, who died, would be unethical. and yet...
this, too, is very interesting to me. little ice marcy has marceline's actual axe bass, the axe which hunson brought with him to ooo after simon summoned him to take care of marceline when he had to leave her - marcy converted it into a bass herself of course. and the two definitely met and stayed alive together when marcy was a child
i've seen people theorize that marcy died in this memory here, but considering the presence of the axe i'm honestly not so sure. i mean, she grew up enough to gain and convert the axe to a bass, maybe she died of old age as a half-demon and never turned into a vampire? except that non-vamp marceline from farmworld seemed to still be kicking, what would an extra 12 years be to someone like her?
despite simon's pleas for fionna not to hurt candy queen and for them to help her, winter king INSISTS that she can't be helped, and that the only solution is for fionna to "knock her out", not kill her, because he would lose his conduit for the crown's madness and so this cycle will continue forever. winter king seemed committed to keeping the secret of how he "conquered" the crown, and who he hurt to manifest this reality of his, only to reveal it supposedly when simon was infected with the crown's madness again.
so why did no one stop winter king for 100 years? finn wouldn't have been born yet, but surely marceline, if she were vamped up and aware of what winter king had done, would try to stop him? but there's no sign of her in this world... save for her one possession we know she had later in her life, in the hands of an ice clone of her, frozen at a time in her life when she still loved simon unconditionally.
... i'll leave you with one VERY interesting production note steve wolfhard posted today about the blade he gave fionna, because it implies that even beyond this simon lacking some integral part of what makes him himself, the madness of the crown wasn't completely absent the way he'd thought it had been, so even in the end it wasn't a "perfect" solution to the madness.
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Unknown Episode 10
I'm back just in time to dive into this exquisite final arc of my current favorite show, and the tension is delicious. I know after last week's near death experience many of us were hoping Qian was on the brink of accepting Yuan, but the thing about Qian is he is stubborn as a mule and terrified of change. We know this about him, so we can't be surprised that he's not quite done breaking down his mental walls.
I loved how much this episode was about Qian's struggle to accept what his heart is already telling him. He knows he has feelings for Yuan. He knows he feels differently about him than anyone else, especially in comparison to his truly brotherly feelings for Lili. Qian has finally accepted that Yuan loves him romantically and always will, but he still hasn't decided whether he can fully reciprocate. His conversation with Yuan at the end of the episode was the first time we heard him admit he has feelings for Yuan, but he is still caught up in whether they are truly romantic, and how he can know that. Qian has no romantic experience to speak of and his feelings for Yuan are so singular that I can't help but empathize with him here. He is not equipped to sort this out on his own, and he's too scared to give in to Yuan lest he hurt him or their relationship by trying to change something.
Which is why that talk with San Pang was so important. San Pang is the one who interfered in their relationship in the first place, tried to talk Yuan out of his feelings, and encouraged Qian when he decided to send Yuan away. He lived with Qian all those years Yuan was away and he saw the damage the separation caused. Qian's misery without Yuan was palpable, and now that Yuan is back and his feelings are only more intense, San Pang has the wisdom (and the distance Qian doesn't) to see that fighting it any further is pointless and only going to hurt them all. He wants them to be happy more than anything else, and perhaps through coming to terms with his own feelings for Lili and navigating the change in their relationship, he has also accepted that Qian and Yuan are happiest together.
San Pang has always been Qian's confidante, sounding board, and reality check, and you could see how shaken Qian was when he finally took away the last of Qian's rationalizations. When San Pang said "be honest, did you feel empty when Yuan was away?" you could practically see Qian fighting against the last of his resolve crumbling. The way his body started to tremble and his voice shook as he tried to make San Pang understand his fear was so moving, I didn't even feel frustrated with him. We can get swept up sometimes in romance narratives and forget how monumental this kind of shift in a relationship can feel, but with Qian we can't forget it, because his fear defines every moment. I love that the show is taking this change so seriously and not rushing us through these final moments of struggle (@wen-kexing-apologist I'm gonna need 1000 words minimum on Qian's mouth twitch, nervous body language, and tears in this scene, Chris killed it). And I felt a lot for Lili in this episode, who is once again witnessing her brothers in a deadlock with each other with no one talking to her about why (though at this point I think she knows).
We end this week standing on what feels like another precipice, as the brothers are once again in tension with each other. This new health wrinkle for Qian is not a set up for a big dramatic health scare (thank goodness) but rather a symbol of that last little bit that Qian is still holding back from Yuan. I loved the way the camera lingered on Yuan's bracelet in the scene where he grabbed Qian's hand and begged to be let in; Qian is the one who gave him that reminder of their connection even as he tries to keep this last small barrier between them. But they are facing each other with everything laid bare between them now. Qian looked like he was in physical pain in that last scene listening to Yuan go on about how all his desires are one-sided and his own problem, but the way Qian reached for him may indicate that he's finally ready to admit they are in this together.
A note about episodes 11 and 12: As expected, the final two episodes have leaked early. I will be sticking to the commitment I made with some others on here to wait for the weekly airdates to post about and interact with content about these episodes. I have filtered [#unknown the series spoilers] and kindly ask that you please tag anything you post early about these episodes. I will be unfollowing and blocking people as needed who can't do this basic courtesy. I have really loved discussing this show in depth with you all and hope we can continue for a couple more weeks!
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Hi it’s me again, the anon who asked about the Joker hating Dick. Back with two more things, sorry. First is Dick being the hardest bat for Cass to read, is that canon or fanon? Another is Dick, Cass, and Bruce being the only bats (heroes?) able to beat Jason in a fight, where is that from?
Sorry for the lengthy ask and I hope you’re having a wonderful day 💕
Hey again (^▽^)!! Not at all and thanks <3
Dick is just a hard person in general to read for anyone.
Titans (2016) Issue #11
And this is coming from a mind reader and empath.
But in terms of Cass, I think it may be because he's the only one whom she can't tell what he's thinking without him saying something. For example with Tim,
Batgirl (2000) Issue #59
Even though they're just sitting there silently, Cass can identify every emotion that Tim's emoting without him saying a word. However with Dick, she only learns about him by watching his interactions with other people.
Nightwing (1996) Issue #81
She can still read his fighting movements but she doesn't have the same level of emotional understanding of him through body language that she has on everyone else. I guess it comes with him being a born performer. It's like her trying to read Alfred given that Alfred and Dick both understand and bond with each other over their acting abilities.
Another thing about Dick and Cass is that Dick is able to read Cass as easily as Cass is able to read other people.
In fighting, just like she can easily see his form
Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #1
Dick can see hers too
Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #1
He's able to identify her weakness and analyze her fighting technique just like she's able to do his. Although Cass wins because she's always quicker on the draw than everyone. It comes with her almost meta-like ability to identify weak points in someone's body language.
So that's canon for emotional understanding I think but unless I have the direct canon panel I can't say for sure.
Dick, Cass, and Bruce being the only ones of the bats to defeat Jason is canon.
Dick beat Jason even after being electrocuted, tranquilized, hit with fear toxin, and blown up in the Battle for the Cowl
Batman: Battle for the Cowl Issue #3
Yet even after all this he still wins. He accidentally uses too much strength though and knocks Jason off the ledge
Batman: Battle for the Cowl Issue #3
Dick is always controlling his power. He's careful in the way he fights and goes easy on everyone especially if they're his friends of allies (evidenced in Vigilante comic), but when he loses that carefully maintained control, he always wins. There are other instances where Dick wins too but to give one that evens the playing field (where neither holds back), Battle for the Cowl is the best example.
This idea of holding back ties into Bruce too. Bruce doesn't restrain himself nearly half as much as Dick does but he does it too. When he doesn't hold back against Jason, he wins
Batman: Under the Red Hood Issue #13
Cass beats everyone, there's no question but here's the evidence anyway:
Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #3
Even as he's saying this, Cass has already identified all of Jason's weak points
Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #3
People sometimes use the following scene to say Jason can beat Cass but c'mon. It says right there he caught her by surprise and she wasn't seriously fighting.
Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #3
But Jason can beat Tim, Duke, and Damian canonically.
Here he beats Tim when Tim decides to dress up as Batman.
Batman: Battle for the Cowl Issue #2
It's kind of a one-sided fight. He also beats Tim when Tim is Robin but it's a little unfair to use that given than Jason is a trained adult and Tim is sort of just starting out. Also to be fair to Tim, Jason catches him by surprise and hiding but overall I'd say Jason still wins.
He also beats Damian in a fight rather easily
Teen Titans (2016) Annual #1
He also beats him in Batman and Robin and in Batman (2016)
Batman and Robin (2009) Issue #5
Although Damian has beaten Jason a few time in a no holds barred fight. I guess it just depends on how much they feel like fighting and who's writing. I can't tell with these two but I believe Jason would win eventually.
He can beat Duke too
New Talent Showcase 2017
He does it so easily.
I can't remember him fighting Stephanie so I'll leave her out. In terms of fighting ability in the batfam, I'd say Jason's solidly in the middle. Still a strong fighter though.
#dick grayson#nightwing#tim drake#red robin#cassandra cain#black bat#orphan#jason todd#red hood#bruce wayne#batman#damian wayne#robin#duke thomas#dc signal#cl anon asks#thanks for the ask!
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You know what, fuck it: Baldur's Gate 3 Thoughts.
(The world is so so bad right now, can't even name all the bad things, so fuck it, no more bad feels, just some nice garbage right now)
I really love that the big 3 pairings all kinda arrive together:
Lae'zel and Shadowheart are already trapped on the ship together, like they are both trapped by their beliefs. They both know more about what's happening than anyone else and are also perhaps the most frightened.
Astarion and Gale show up stuck and as potential bait. They're both concealing some pretty big problems. The only way to succeed with them is to trust them despite this. And they both badly need to bond with others so they can survive their ordeals.
Karlach and Wyll actually already have a relationship, just one founded on misunderstanding. They can each empathize with each other in ways the others can't and adjust quickly to thinking of a previous adversary as a friend. They both have so much going on that when they arrive on the Sword Coast, they just resettle into business as usual. They've both been misused by those with control over them and seek to break that control, even if that doesn't fix everything, even if it means more loss.
They're all good ships, I love them. And all the other combos are good too, there are no bad options here, but I'm a bit of a sucker for these. Honestly, really appreciate having an entire party of bisexuals. I love that so much <3
Gale and I are the same person ha ha ha FUCK
I do have fic ideas, potentially for Gale & Astarion and Lae'zel & Shadowheart (spoilers below)
Like, I actually have a lot of feelings about Shadowheart being a complete dick to Lae'zel while she goes through a crisis of faith, only to eat pigeon pie later when she gets a crisis of her own.
And I'm obsessed with the idea of Lae'zel learning how to be comforting as she watches Shadowheart crumble apart, as she loses all sense of identity. Because at least Lae'zel has that. Lae'zel lost a lot in parting from Vlaakith, but she didn't lose who she was. Indeed, she left in defense of who she was, in defense of what she knew to be right. Shadowheart doesn't even have that. And it's a wild thing that comes over you, to feel like you've fucked up and lost and to find someone you can actually help. I think it would be a really cool and beautiful thing to see, Lae'zel helping Shadowheart find the pieces of herself. That would just be really, really good.
And then there's Problematic Old Man Yaoi over here
Maybe what I love best about Gale and Astarion is how much fucking WOULD NOT solve it
Like, some people just need to fuck it out and then it's all good, you fixed the issue
And 100% fucking would not solve their shit. Like, it would help, or it certainly wouldn't not help. But it'd only help like... max 20% The rest has to be solved by Talking, Using Your Words, Talking To Other People No Not The Imaginary Conversations, and Admitting When You're Wrong.
I also love that this is true no matter where you think they get together.
Like, let's take Act I: I cannot IMAGINE how Astarion could talk Gale into bed that early. Gale "Never Nude" Dekarios who's never had a crush on anyone who wasn't Mystra. He'd be shaking and fumbling just trying to ask Astarion on a date. And Mr. Emotionally Available over here, who is not ready to be vulnerable in any sense, who uses sex as a crutch because it's so familiar and so easy to dissociate from... yikes, what a combo. Poor Gale would be sent reeling by the hot-cold of it, he'd act insane those first few days after sex as he tries to make sense of how Astarion said yes to everything, but didn't mean it, but also he did? So should he pursue that or leave it be? Is the best choice to let Astarion thaw in his own good time or obsessively work on cracking this because Astarion clearly needs help and just doesn't want to ask for it? Stupid question, OBVIOUSLY the second! I... instant explosion. God, it would go so bad. Honestly, the good version is Gale resists the invitations and instead Astarion sulks for a few days over his blue balls or just fucks someone else, thus giving Gale a new case of mixed signals to obsess over. Jesus, we're just never going to escape that are we? Wizards gotta fixate.
Act II: In which Astarion chooses to ignore his own problems by instead arguing with Gale about his. Not because he's invested, merely because Gale is clearly being an idiot. Gale at first demurs, refusing to be argued out of his guilt, but then when Astarion becomes more insistent, counters with why Astarion cares so much? This would inevitably erupt in some kind of sexual encounter, but the fighting wouldn't stop because despite getting laid, Gale is still sure he's right and Astarion is still sure he's right. Dick actually can't solve this today. The camp mournful of ever finding a solution, they would like to sleep peacefully again someday.
Act III: Make or break time. Both Gale and Astarion escalate as the threat of death or destruction looms ever nearer. Gale now just as dead set on stopping Astarion from destroying himself as Astarion is on stopping Gale from destroying himself. Same threat, very different outcomes. Gale keeps looking at him with those damn puppy eyes and whining about "he'll regret it instantly" and "hate who he becomes" and "I can't stand to see that happen to you" or whatever. Obnoxious. And Astarion keeps trying to convince him that Mystra was wrong, that she "manipulated and groomed" him and "didn't even give an explanation" which he's owed, or some such nonsense. As if an inhuman, all-powerful goddess was out of line for being afraid of mortal actions... wait, was that a logical inconsistency? Damn. I think Gale would convince Astarion first. I think deep down Astarion would hate to be a full vampire too much, I think they both know it, and when Gale promises to stand by him, to take care of him, to always protect him... As much as Astarion doesn't want to trust, knows he's a fool for trusting, he agrees. He won't do it. He won't take the power. Because, damn him, he believes Gale. And what would suck is Gale would go "Cool! I'mma become a god, I can protect you way better then!" like entirely missing the point. And Astarion would be galled, deservedly so, by the hypocrisy. But Gale's so caught up in how sure he's right and how sure he's wrong, he's not even listening. I think it'd piss Astarion off so much, he'd convince the whole camp to kidnap Gale so he can't go sacrifice himself, full "He won't get the chance to kill himself because I'll do it first!" Until we finally get to the Nether Brain and... Astarion lets him go. Because that's the point. Trust isn't real if there isn't a choice. And as much as he hates the fact that Gale might choose what he doesn't want, he has to let him do it on his own. And I think that'd finally break through. That simple act of trust and sacrifice and playing willing to lose would finally make Gale go "Oh... oh god, what was I thinking? This isn't right." The fact that Astarion loves him more for the flawed and fallible person he is than for the heartless god he could become... That would finally make Gale see, Mystra was wrong all along and she never loved you because she can't really love. Not like that. Yeah. That's a personal favorite of mine.
But there's also a lot to be said for post-end, Astarion with nowhere to go and Gale going "You know... I've heard of spells that allow creatures form the Underdark to safely experience sunlight. We could try some of those, I don't see why they shouldn't work on you." and Astarion being floored and not even having the words for everything he feels at that offer. And then the raw sexual tension of living in his tower together as "friends" as Astarion mercilessly pines and Gale blissfully carries on, unaware until Tara finally goes "That's it! I can't take it any more! I'm going to live with your mother until you two sort this out!" and flies off. Leaving Gale to go "Huh... wonder what she meant by that?" Meanwhile, Astarion can hardly stand to be in the same room with Gale because he ends up basically drooling and yet, he can hardly stay away, staring obsessively from the shadows, creeping around wherever he is, looking exactly like the jealous lover he longs to be. Also, Astarion and Gale's mother! Oh, I can't wait! Too funny!
Oh, tower days with Astarion would be so good as he tries to adjust to having a life again. A slow, painful process, but very deserved. He'd need an occupation, he can't have nothing to do. Maybe he can look into magistrating again?
Anyway, there's some thoughts. I haven't finished Act III yet, but I'm close so I guess careful with those Act III spoilers.
Also, for anyone still reading, if you want to do me a solid: There exists somewhere a Bloodweave fic where Astarion walks in on Gale with a construct of himself only there's a twist... and the author is Very Correct about this twist. if you know, you know. But I can't find this fic anywhere! Please help a girl out if you've read the one I'm thinking of.
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Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.
HOWEVER.
It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.
People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?
Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?
And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:
HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.
Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.
And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.
You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly imo likability is not. the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.
#thessaly#wanda the sandman#hob gadling#fandom racism#I could've cried sexism!!! Problematic Male vs Female Characters except 1) I don't actually think that's the main reason *here*#2) there are WAY better examples of that particular double standard in this fandom#also i can admit when I'm a bit of a hypocrite or was.#i used to dip my toes into the dreamling stuff too early on#but idk. It just got too sour seeing ppl whitewash (lol I know I'm a comedian)#what he did over and over. And I genuinely had started to wonder#if the show hadn't included that particular crime and I'd just imagined it from the comics because#my memory is shit sometimes and I guess I was naive. I *wanted* to believe someone would talk aboutit#if it had made it in. but ultimately i went back and checked and no#and seeing how the whole fandom behaving affected my non-white mutuals some of whom...#like these are my friends man or ppl I just respect and I can't just. Ignore their feelings and their pov#and act like they werent making points or it doesn't matter#like it's all just fun and games for everyone on the same terms. And seeing how easy it was#for everyone to ignore was so unsettling. I couldn't keep pretending it was just fiction and didn't affect anyone real#Call me a bully a t3rf apologist (fuck you and for the record. no)#a puritan or a Fancop (actually stop comparing#people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom)#whatever man. Whatever helps you sleep. I'm just gonna block you#if you're clearly sticking your fingers in your ears. engaging with you is a waste of time and energy then#Hell I have sympathy for anyone who doesn't like thessaly#especially trans fans. Especially rn. But lbr that sympathy for a lot of the white trans/queer fans only goes one way!!!#never gets extended to anyone else's issues. Like THATSthe issue. And it's shitty!#(sorry this post is not about me in the confessional lol that's why I put this at the bottom#I just had feelings to get out and yes its my blog but i didn't want to clog the airways)
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My evolving thoughts on who Yuki should've ended up with, and fanfic's role in changing my mind
So, I want to talk about Yuki Sohma.
Yuki is the member of the main trio in Fruits Basket with whom I most identify. I have little in common with both Tohru and Kyo, and it took me several watches and read-throughs to start to understand their characters/arcs. (I love them, don't get me wrong! I just didn't fully appreciate the depth of their characters/arcs until maybe my third time through the series.)
Yuki, on the other hand, not only had many external qualities in common with me, but the way he grew mirrored some of the ways I changed in early adulthood. His arc felt true to my life, and so he was my favorite character from my first exposure to Fruits Basket.
When I started reading fanfic, I initially limited myself to canon compliant or limited canon-divergence fics, but eventually, I dipped my toes into some alternate pairings. Interestingly, while I truly can't see Tohru with anyone but Kyo, and I can only see Kyo with someone other than Tohru in very specific circumstances, Yuki seems to work with almost everyone he gets paired with. I mean, Yuki and Machi are my OTP, yet I have probably read (and bookmarked) every Yuki/Kakeru fic on Ao3, and some of the most beautiful fanfic I've ever read is Yuki/Kyo.
This confused me at first. Deeply. If Yuchi is my OTP, why do I devour every Yukeru and Yukyo fic?
Well, I think that's because Yuki's arc is, among other things, one where he rejects compulsory romance. This is made explicit in the Cinderella-ish story (why yes this is my favorite part of Fruits Basket, why do you ask?), where he quite literally rejects the role of the prince - the role that's been put onto him by others through the series. I think his arc would have been complete without him ending up with Machi, but there are things about their relationship that make his ending so much more satisfying. In stories where he ends up with Kakeru or Kyo, Machi almost always appears as an important friend for him. I think, for him, having strong bonds outside the Sohmas that he forged on his own was the point, rather than ending up in a relationship.
Anyway, with that out of the way, here are my thoughts on the five most common Yuki pairings on Ao3!
Yuki/Machi
Yes. I love them. 1000/10.
Okay, so the one criticism I have of Yuki/Machi is that Yuki is strongly gay-coded throughout the series, and it would've been awesome to see that play out in the way it was set up. I think that's a huge part of why I connected with Yuki - his arc definitely reminded me of my own experience coming to terms with my own queerness. For more on this, see this exceptional post by @yunsoh
But there are so many moments between them that make me swoon. The chalk scene, first and foremost. I used that scene to talk to my partner about how to support me when my OCD or ADHD is bad. Then there's scene where Yuki figures out why Machi destroys things, then asks to make footprints in the snow together (and tells her he's proud of her! and sees how hard she's worked!). The way he bought her Mogeta memorabilia or figured out she likes red or understood her intent when she chased him around the school to give him a flower and just ended up getting angry at him. The way he understood she bought Tohru a bath set because it's what she would want, just because Kakeru made a similar remark. The way he lit up when he saw Machi's trashed apartment - "the sea of despair."
And the way Machi understood and empathized with Yuki. The way he lit up and started laughing when she called him an airhead. The way she said it took someone like him to notice someone like her. The way she opened up to him and always sought him out. The way Kakeru shipped them. The way he knew she would miss him if he were to disappear, and the way being a support to her was something he needed for himself. The way she accepted him as he actually was, and not the way he thought he was supposed to be. The way she broke the door down with a chair when Yuki was trapped in the storage room. The way he teased her!
They've both been put in seemingly desirable positions within their families, yet those positions are responsible for so much of their pain and trauma. They get each other at a deep level. There's a mutuality to their relationship that Yuki desperately needed. I love them so much!
PS: if you also love Yuki/Machi, come find me on Ao3! I'll be posting some Yuchi content later this week!
Yuki/Kakeru
They have a fantastic and fun dynamic, and they are always touching each other. Kakeru is Yuki's confidant and someone who makes Yuki feel safe in being himself, flaws and all. They help each other grow - Yuki helps Kakeru be more empathetic, and Kakeru helps Yuki become more comfortable with himself. I think this pairing would have also been a satisfying end for Yuki, full stop. I love them, and I will read all your Yukeru fics, please and thank you. (Also, lots of Yukeru writers are just really good writers, so there are some gorgeous works for them.)
Yuki/Kyo
So, I didn't get why this ship was so popular at first, but then I was reminded that Yuki's first thought when he met Kyo was "pretty!" They both secretly admired each other, they're written as foils for each other, and there's a reason enemies to lovers is so popular (and it's called sexual tension).
There's a Yuki/Kyo fic that I'd credit with showing me what fanfic can really do - especially in the ways it expanded the universe, found its own way of handling the curse, and developed the relationship between the two boys in a way that also grew their characters. That fic is The Pursuit of Repeating History by @mistergrass
I do think that Yuki ending up with someone outside the Sohmas is more satisfying for his character arc than someone from the Sohma clan, but his relationship with Kyo is such a key part of his arc that this could be satisfying in its own right.
Yuki/Haru
I absolutely love the relationship these two have in canon. I love how Haru looks out for Yuki, and I love how he drives Yuki a bit crazy. I love how Haru tells Yuki the things he needs to hear, like that it's okay for him to focus on himself for a while, and I love how Yuki braves the Sohma estate to check on Haru. I also love the way Haru can read Yuki like a book.
Haru's words to Yuki about finding someone who will appreciate his fragility and kindness are always so touching. Haru is almost a mentor to Yuki, in a way, or a fairy godmother. (Or a long lost sister?) The fact that he was the one who got Yuki out of isolation at the hands of Akito, or that he was the one person who would check on him just speaks to the strength of his loyalty to Yuki.
I take Haru's statement of "Yuki was my first love" seriously, because he tells Yuki he is serious when Yuki warns him people will take him seriously when he says that. I know there's an argument to be made that Haru is just being his weird self, but that gives me and they were roommates vibes.
Unfortunately, most of the Yuki/Haru fics are dubcon with Dark Haru, which is not something I enjoy reading. What I'd really love to read is an AU where they're together in high school or later, or something that explores Haru's early feelings for Yuki, or just something that explores interesting sides of their characters that are brought out when they're together.
I don't think this would be a terribly satisfying end for Yuki, but I do really love their dynamic.
Yuki/Tohru
Okay, so, full disclosure: I was #teamyuki when I first watched Fruits Basket. Yet now, they're the only pairing on this list that I don't like. Why? Well, as I said above, Yuki's arc is much about rejecting this specific compulsory romance.
Compulsory how? Well, from the beginning, the series seems like it's setting up a love triangle, but kind of tells us (more and more explicitly as the series goes on) that things are not what they seem.
I think the series does a phenomenal job of making the reader/viewer complicit in placing this compulsory romance onto Yuki. A brief aside, making the reader/viewer complicit in the thing a story is criticizing is one of the most effective ways to criticize something, IMO, because it doesn't let the reader/viewer off the hook. We don't get to say, "Look at them, they're so foolish!" We're forced to examine our own expectations and acknowledge that we were made a fool of, too.
I totally got tingles at the spa scene (pictured above), even though upon rewatch, it's obvious how much of an act it is on Yuki's part, and how uncomfortable it makes Tohru. In fact, many of their most "romantic" moments, where the shojo bubbles appear and everything, are when Tohru is acting in an explicitly motherly way to Yuki, and he awkwardly tries to flirt because he's either misinterpreting his feelings or in denial about them.
I also thought his line, "that isn't what I want!" when he tells Kakeru about his true feelings for Tohru is one of the most powerful moments in the series. It's the moment he's finally letting go of being the Princely character and choosing to be himself, for himself, because he deserves to be known and accepted - something he'd never fully believed until that moment.
I think part of why I was initially #teamyuki was because I came to Fruits Basket through the anime first, where much of the development of his relationship with Machi was cut. Also, as I said above, I didn't really get the characters of Kyo and Tohru right away, and I think that prevented me from seeing the power of their romance. The True Form arc was a key moment that I truly didn't understand until several viewings/readings later.
So, all of that is why I don't care for this pairing. I get why people do, but I do feel it undermines Yuki's agency and his character arc. It's a pairing that makes me sad when I see it, as if this character I love has taken a step backward.
(Incidentally, I've been wanting to write a fic where the True Form arc plays out differently and Yuki takes longer to realize the nature of his feelings for Tohru. I truly wonder how he would've come to that understanding without witnessing her running after Kyo. Would he have tried dating her? Would it have been a total disaster?)
Other pairings and larger relationship structures
Out of the other pairings I found, the only one I'm genuinely curious about is Yuki with Saki Hanajima. I'll have to go read those fics. They are each the "cold" half of a "hot/cold" duo (the "hot" halves being Kyo and Arisa, who are basically the same person). I'm very curious what led people to pair them in the handful of fics about them!
(Interestingly, I think it's possible to read Saki and Arisa both as having a bit of sexual tension with Kyo, but not with Yuki.)
The others include Akito, Ayame, Hatori, and Shigure - all pairings that would have a noncon/dubcon element due to Yuki's age, and that's before you get into the specific traumas that these characters have inflicted on Yuki, or the inherent power dynamics between them, or the close familial relationship with Ayame, etc...
The trio relationships are all intriguing and full of possibility. Yuki/Tohru/Kyo? Obviously. Yuki/Kakeru/Kimi? Potential for lots of wackiness. Yuki/Kyo/Haru? Could be the next Mabudachi trio.
(No shade to anyone who enjoys fics with the pairings or tropes I don't like! This blogger believes in "don't like, don't read.")
#fruits basket#furuba#fruba#fanfic#yuchi#yukeru#yukyo#yukikyo#yukiru#yuki x machi#yuki x kyo#yuki x kakeru#yuki x haru#yuki x tohru#analysis#fruba analysis#fruits basket analysis#fanfiction#yuki sohma#romance#kyo sohma#rarepair#ao3#ao3 fanfic#tohru honda#kakeru manabe#machi kuragi#haru sohma#by cinderella-ish#my meta
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About act 2
So this could be just yapping, the experience is still very fresh and I have to rewatch it to catch everything but. I feel a bit underwhelmed. The show up to this point did a great job of managing the different storylines and the causality but in this act it began to fall apart. I felt like some happenings were left unhandled or were resolved underwhelmingly. With that said this show is still an amazing piece of art, I absolutely love it, and some of the things I will say could very possible be resolved in act III. For example, at the end of act I we saw Caitlyn appointed commander, but in this act she didn't really do anything with it. There was a chance for character development through this yet all we saw were enforcers still being violent, Ambessa pulling the strings as it was expected, Maddie being a rebound for her I guess..? But the act didn't show how power could've changed her, what policies she would bring or what decisions she made. It's especially frustrating because they did it so well with Jayce last season. Not to mention she didn't really show how she felt after leaving Vi.
Ambessa showed her teeth in this act, a little more than she should've. She got a lot of screentime which she used to assert dominance so to say. I think it was a bit too much of her, she didn't really change that much, other character's could've used this time better. Time is the weakness of this season for me so far, they want to show so much, they only have 3 more episodes and yet they don't use it wisely. The Black Rose and Mel being an actualy magic user(which I speculated for 3 years btw its amazing) could've been shown in 2 scenes and still would've the same meaning and depth. This is also true for Singed to a decree, tho not that much, I enjoyed his scenes, and the reveal with his daughter. With more characters back in the final act I'm a bit worried about this.
For Vi's depressive period I would've expected more than the montage we already saw in the trailer, but I guess that's okay. They did a great job with the sisters finding out Warwick is Vander, finding his old hideout, expressing their emotions, I really liked that part. She and Jinx came to terms very quickly after hating eachother and fighting so much but I can accept that it was overshadowed by Vander being alive, given that was the cause of them braking apart in the begining. I didnt really get why she went into Ambessas camp, and why that being captured act was necessary, I know they mentioned a diversion but it was a bit weird for me. This is on Caitlyn more, I dont think her flipping sides was justified enough, we didn't see her frustrated with Ambessa or Singed.
Jinx's story took a 180 turn with her not caring anymore. I loved to see her relationship with Isha develop, how emotions, positive emotions came back to her. She even got in touch with Vi for Vander and from her perspective it made more sense, cause I think she let go of her hate in act I already. I loved how they stopped fighting when Vi hurt Isha, that moment empathizes that they never wanted to hurt innocents and children, but through their story it happened again and again. I can't wait to see her lose her shit again in act III because of the traume she yet again experienced.
Viktor's story didn't go the way I thought it would but with this ending it kind of makes sense. I don't think he's actually dead, he still has a role to play. With he's community ruined he'll choose another path which I'm excited to see. This community didn't really seem that great with everyone connected him like a hive mind, and also we've seen with Salo that anyone he healed went through personality changes which is really shady. I can't wait to get to know the difference between him and Jayce.
And Jayce my boy the hate you're about to recive, you're in for a rough time. I actually liked how his character made everything more complicated in the last episode, and that he killed Viktor without a word is just Wild. Cant wait to see.
Warwick has been teased for so long and it was worth the wait. He carried this act for me, the sheer distruction in the prison was enough. And they gave him emotion with Vander still being inside, but I think with Viktor's "passing" that's over. He's gonna become the monster we waited for.
What do you guys think?
They did my girl Sevika dirty, losing an arm again?! Poor woman fr
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Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.
So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.
I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.
6x06 Secret and Lies.
Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*
Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...
Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....
Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.
Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.
God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.
Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.
Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.
I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.
Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.
The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.
The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.
Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.
Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.
He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.
This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.
We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....
I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.
I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.
Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...
Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.
Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.
'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'
Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.
Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*
Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.
But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.
Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...
So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.
Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.
Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.
Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.
Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.
Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.
This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.
It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.
I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.
'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.
This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.
When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.
Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.
The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.
That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.
I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They’ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.
~~~
Side notes non Chenford.
Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.
Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3
#Caitlin mini reviews#chenford#s6#the rookie 6x06#6x06 Secret and Lies#otp: unless it is#otp: doing my job#the rookie#tim x lucy#tim bradford#lucy chen#lucy x tim#eric winter#melissa o'neil#tim bradford x lucy chen
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Dark Moon Lilith/Waldemath Lilith (H58) : Mother Gaia, Spiritual Realm, Shadows, Night and the Moon.
Waldemath Lilith (h58) was discovered by scientist George Waldemath .
Wanting to take the time to explain my feelings towards this placement. As it's different from the other lilith placements, but has nothing to do with lilith in its entirety.
When Waldemath saw the planet in the sky, he said he seen it as a dark shadow in the sky and thats when he got the name for it.
Connecting it to lilith is great, but understanding its prophecies are bit different. So lets begin.
With the energy of dark moon lilith, its connecting to a cosmic force that focuses on the 'Mother'. Who is that you might ask?
Well in this case, The Mother is the Universe. But its so much deeper than that.
Because we exist in a timeline where we don't say thank you to mother gaia, where we pretend that the feminine is lesser than the masculine. Where we think of 'God' as a masculine entity and nothing more.
And this is where it gets challenging.
To say its a lilith placement isn't far fetched, just have to take into note that this energy that the dark moon portrays is far more connected to something spiritual than the lilith placement itself.
This one focuses on the spiritual elements, the ancestor, the mother, the unseen forces and realms that we hear about but can't get our grip on.
So when I say this placement has some deep shit to unravel, I mean it.
So starting off with someone having this placement in there first house. These individuals could deal with the world where the empathic effects can be overly daunting or exceptionally healing.
At some point, people will look to you as something other than. For better or for worse.
In the beginning phases of life, you may be forced to see how much different and sensitive you are to others and this may shape you in a way that makes your outlook on life far connected to something spiritual and enlightening. You can explore the different realms and find solace in what it is you came to do without shame once you realize those experiences where you were outcasted were suppose to shape you into your original form.
You're different in a way that connects the universe to your vision, never forget it.
Someone with this placement in the first house would have to learn the hardships & lessons of being 'Other' and knowing how to navigate things in a way that correlates with their plane of existence. You're not alone in it, and deep down you are a source of divine inspiration because all your life you had to get your level of intellect and knowledge from some where. And at times this can reflect on your appearance and show itself brightly. You have a big aura that shapes the people around you, and a lot of times people can see you in a odd way than most, but it's Mother.
Mother isn't just one thing, she is everything. And thats you.
Now for someone who has this placement connected to the Sun, you will have to surrender to the divine forces within more often than you'd like. The shame, guilt and fears you've succumbed to where not that of your own, which is very similar to lilith, but again, its connected to something cosmic. It's as if your life force is here to shape the perceptions and realities of others with just your mere presence. You have a gift that enlightens a lot of people into being who they are and you're very captivating to say the least. You may have been bullied with how unique you stand in your aura but thats because children and even adults had not known what the outer realms we're trying to teach them.
The way you express your divine feminity is not that of anyone else, which can confuse others and they'll try to change your perception of what it is and what it isn't. But you'll keep going nonetheless.
You're a shape shifter, a healer, and a vortex opener. Someone who knows the ins and the outs when it comes to spiritual knowledge. But you keep this to your self. Something about you is incredibly magical, and the more you connect to nature, crystals and animals the higher your vibration will be.
Moon aspecting the dark moon can show an individual whos psychic prowess can take form and connect to the areas around them. You're likeliness is like a witch, and you're connected to the stars and all things unseen in a way that most people will never grasp. It. isn't for them too. You're like the crone but you haven't lived that long yet, its been ingrained in you since a young age.
You guys are different in the way you carry yourself, you could end up going into something connected to candle magick, witchcraft if you will, as the feminine magic you carry needs expression at some point.
Theres a special quality to the connection you have with others, it passes the concept of time and other things related to beliefs in religious doctrines. You have a interesting persona and the way you carry yourself is unique and has nothing to do with social standards carried out in society.
Your energy holds weight and it may push people into believing in something and thinking deeper than what is totally normal.
This was a fun, short, intricate analyzation of the planet and the energies connected to the big 3. I hope this helps someone wanting to learn more about the dark moon and its ties to the spiritual. More to come on this. Adios!
#dark moon lilith#waldemath lilith#astrology knowledge#astro observations#astro notes#astrology thoughts
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Persona 3 Characters Ranked By How Good of Hugs They Give
kotone/hamuko/minako. best hugger in sees. she's a hashtag empath, so she always knows when you need a hug, too. will tug your head down to rest on her shoulder and start rubbing your back and everything. the technique? perfect. 10/10 no notes.
shinjiro. he's a lot less likely to hug anyone but aki, but when he does, it's big ol bear hug and he's not letting go until they feel better, period. he feels slightly awkward about it, but once he's holding on, he's committed. he's got that weighted blanket swag. (he doesn't smell the best though which holds him back from first place)
ryoji. hug will be a bit awkward at first but then he'll find his stride and suddenly he's a good hugger for all the same reasons as kotone. he had to get it from somewhere, after all. loses some points because he can be a little overly familiar, so he might employ back-rubbing in situations where it's unneeded.
fuuka. she's a little shy and less likely to hug, but if she does, she'll do it with all her heart!! a very gentle hugger who will try to console you as you're hugging. she might also start crying if things get emotional tbh but she won't get your shirt too wet. she also isn't likely to let go until you're smiling again.
aigis. she may be made of metal but i think we know from the ending of the game that she will cradle her loved ones so gently and with all the love and protection in her whole body <3 probably hugs a little tentatively because she doesn't want to crush the recipient of her hug. she's surprisingly warm, not cold, and her arms are less rigid than you would think.
i HAD to put koromaru this low because he technically can't hug you. but you can hug HIM and he is soft and warm and loves you so much.
yukari. she has good hugging technique, like fuuka's, but she's much more hesitant to actually hug and is more likely to pull away prematurely because she suddenly gets bashful. if someone else hugs her, she might even freeze up rather than hugging back, even if she wants to. her mind is racing with other thoughts as they hug, which makes her hug a little awkward and distracted.
theodore. gives an excellent gentle hug but he has no idea what to do next. he'll just stand there totally still indefinitely, and you have to kick him to get him to let you go.
elizabeth. hugs very enthusiastically but she will be saying some weird eccentric shit into your ear while you're trying to enjoy the hug. you could be on the verge of tears and she'd be like "oh my, is this what you humans call a 'bear hug'? should i summon a bear persona? ohohoho."
akihiko. he will hug with reckless abandon, but he is very awkward about it and hugs way too tight. like, a firm hug is nice and all, but akihiko please i cant breathe you'rE CRUSHING ME AKIHIKO--COUGH COUGH HACK--
minato/makoto. very stiff and wooden while he hugs you, so the hugging technique itself is pretty poor, but he has good awareness of when a hug is and isn't necessary and knows exactly when to squeeze a little and pull back. a quiet, slightly awkward hug.
ken. would be higher up on this list if he could just accept that he is Small but whenever he hugs someone he has to attempt to hug them in a Big Boy way which means he'll be trying to pull you down so he can hug you from "above", like with your head on his shoulder, and your back is gonna hurt like hell afterwards because he is just way too short.
junpei. gets self conscious and jerks away in the middle of a hug, just like yukari, but his technique is also awkward and wooden like minato, and if he's emotional enough to hug without feeling awkward then he'll be squeezing too tight like akihiko. worst of all worlds.
mitsuru. oh god. you're hugging her. why are you hugging her. what does she do with her arms. where should her face be. oh my god you're still holding on. are you saying something? she is not listening. she is too busy standing completely still like you're a t-rex whose vision is based on movement and if she just stays perfectly still you'll forget she's there and wander off.
#Persona 3#P3#Rage Rambles#Kotone Shiomi#Shinjiro Aragaki#Ryoji Mochizuki#Fuuka Yamagishi#Yukari Takeba#Aigis#Koromaru#Theodore#Elizabeth#Akihiko Sanada#Minato Arisato#Makoto Yuki#Hamuko Arisato#Minako Arisato#Junpei Iori#Ken Amada#wow thats a lot of guys
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Do you have any thoughts on Aemond in this episode?
I really didn't want to see him as someone who only cares about himself or who is apathetic :/, but idk what to think; as Ewan said, Aemond puts up a cold and ruthless facade to keep himself safe and not appear weak; and in the little moments where his armor slips and we see his vulnerable side, like in the brothel scenes or how he looked at his mother as she touched his cheek, he seems like a different person. It leaves me confused on what to think of him, as I don't want to see him as evil. Do you have any opinions you'd like to share? I ask because I really enjoy your insights. <3
So happy you enjoy my insights 🖤 I always get worried I might strike a nerve with people.
Let me start off by saying that sympathizing with Aemond is not a bad thing as the characters in HOTD are so complex that it forces you to empathize with people you don't want to care for. For example, Larys talking to Aegon in this episode added another dimension to a man who we only ever saw as a manipulator of the weak.
When it comes to Aemond, one could easily say that they understand and not necessarily condone. While some think Aemond is a Chaotic Evil, I still see him as a Neutral because I think he acts out of self-interest and not out of hate. Yes, he resents Aegon but not to the point that most people keep saying. Yes, he feels resentment towards his mother but not to the point where he's outwardly cruel.
Aemond doesn't consistently act on his anger or disdain. I look at him as someone who finally grew too tired of being the cushion for the failure of others. Aegon fled? Aemond found him. Aegon won't be studious? Aemond buried himself in books. He wants to be everything no one ever expected of him, and when you live up to either an impossible standard or no standard at all, there are no parameters that confine you to how these goals can be achieved.
I honestly still don't think he's evil?? Every time I feel like I'm ready to say he is, I watch the scene over, and my thought slowly twists to something along the lines of "This guy just can't stand to appear weak because if he does, then he'll never reclaim the mask he fights so hard to put on all the time."
And perhaps, this is also a fault of mine because I love knowing people who have that shell - as I have one myself. People whose trauma response is to eliminate weakness from their face are fascinating, and I am the type of person who works hard to be someone they allow themselves to be weak in front of. Probably no different than Aemond. He acts with self-interest, yes. Fully-fledged evil? No. Did Aegon deserve it? No. Would Aegon have ever bowed down otherwise? Probably not.
Aemond doesn't act for the Greens, he acts for himself. His downfall will be that this goal of simply proving he is more than what anyone expected has no actual end point. He will keep going as long as people confuse him with being something he's not. If anyone gets on you for defending Aemond, I'd just say there's a fine line between a reason and an excuse. Why he does what he does, I see the reasons, and maybe you see the excuse. There's no defending here - I'm just saying I get it.
I'll wrap this up with - my mask has definitely slipped before, and when it does, my reaction is automatically annoyance or anger. I've told people before that when I'm mean, I'm cruel, so I'd rather not be mean. Hard not to understand Aemond when my attitude is the lesser version of his.
#house of the dragon#hotd#aemond#aemond targaryen#aemond one eye#hotd aemond#prince aemond targaryen#character analysis#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon aemond#house of the dragon spoilers#hotd analysis#ask lunarflux
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