#she also asked me what kind of ice cream he might get

[lokislittlesigyn]

Today my therapist remarked about the fact I sometimes imagine Loki with me, to help comfort me and encourage me to do scary or intimidating things.

She then expressly encouraged me to imagine him coming along to get ice cream tonight. :’)

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i think i've finally come to understand why i'm so bad at communicating with friends 👍 at one point or another i've thought i was in love with every single person i've ever been friends with (for the most part, at least) because i don't expect other people to like me. OBVIOUSLY this is not true but platonic feelings are not dissimilar to romantic ones (baseline they're the same: you want to love and be loved by someone) but i always end up realizing that i'm not in love with them, just that they matter to me very much and i wouldn't know what do to w/o their presence in my life. BUT this brings me to facet number 2 of my awful communication skills: i hate it when things Get Real. i find myself retreating any time it seems like Something Could Change in my day-to-day life due to them being around and "forcing" the change. i run away from talking to one of my only irl friends on almost a daily basis bc i dread the idea of having to do anything she might want me to do. i think, at the end of the day, my problem might just be that i don't want to change... ANYWAYS

[puck-luck]

learning curves | trevor zegras

warnings: inexperienced!reader x experienced!tz, general anziety about having sex for the first time/doing sexual things for the first time, silly goofy sex questions that everyone has but refuses to speak on, conversation about kinks (lasts two seconds because they get derailed almost immediately), handjob, innocence!kink, probably some other stuff i missed. pairing: trevor zegras x inexperienced!reader summary: trevor zegras and his gf have "the talk" wc: 3891

Three dates. It’s been three dates. Your best friend in the world says that it’s after the third date that she considers putting out– but she’s also had sex before, racked up a body count that seems substantial next to yours (yours being a whopping zero and hers being a solid nine). Where you didn’t have boyfriends and were more focused on graduating early so you could start your dream job with the Angels, she seemed happy with the fast-paced, social side of college that afforded her connections and contacts with men of all kinds.

You told her about Trevor when you started dating him, after he brought you to your own baseball game, the last of the season against the Oakland A’s. It had worked out well in his favor, despite the fact that you hadn’t told him about your passion for baseball. Since it was the last of the season, your supervisor had let you take the day off as a reward for all your hard work and had pawned your tasks off to the other members of your team. 

Your best friend had called you mere minutes after that first date had ended, gushing with you about Trevor’s kindness in buying your food and drinks (and ticket) and laughing at the way you reenacted Trevor’s attempt to mansplain baseball to you. 

After the second date, when Trevor brought you to play mini-golf and took you to get ice cream, you had called her. She had asked if he had kissed you yet. She also asked if you were going to send a picture of his butt anytime soon. The answer to both was “no.”

And last week, after the third date where Trevor had taken you to see Killers of the Flower Moon when it released, she had told you about her policy: the one where she starts to consider putting out. 

It seems like Trevor might be on the same page. For your fourth date, Trevor invited you to dinner. Tonight. At his apartment. He’s cooking for you. At his apartment. 

Alone.

You haven’t told him yet about the fact that you haven’t had sex with anyone. He’s probably picked up on it by now, with how you shy away from his touches and swerved him twice (once at mini-golf and once after the movies). 

You’re going to tell him tonight. He’s going to cook a beautiful dinner, be nothing but sweet and caring like he always is, and then you’re going to tell him that you’re still a virgin, and he’s going to be freaked out, and probably break up with you.

That’s the only way it could go, right?

The potential for disaster is on your mind the whole night, from the drive to Trevor’s to the last bite of the cheesecake Trevor bought for dessert. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Trevor asks, pushing his plate away and leaning back in his chair. He crosses his arms over his chest. “Did I make something you don’t like? Are you not a cheesecake fan?”

“No, Trevor, I like cheesecake. You haven’t done anything wrong.” You continue to pick at your dessert. You sigh, then place your fork down on the side of the plate. “I think we need to have a conversation.”

You don’t miss the alarm that flashes across Trevor’s face when you say that. 

He stands almost immediately from his seat, taking your hand to bring you to his living room, where you can sit comfortably on the couch. Trevor stays quiet, something you know is difficult for him, but it means so much more to you that he’s trying to let you take charge here.

“Do you remember when I told you about my best friend?” You ask, finding it safest to start there.

Trevor nods. “What about her?”

You’re quiet for a beat, taking a deep breath. “She told me that she starts to put out after the third date.”

A sharp silence follows. Your heart is beating through your chest, but it starts to slow the longer the silence drags on.

Finally, Trevor breaks the silence. “So?” He asks. “What does that have to do with us?”

You fishmouth at him, jaw open wide and dangling. 

“Not in like a mean way, but I was inviting you over for dinner. If you want to fuck, we can fuck, but I really just wanted to eat with you today.”

Trevor’s words are both comforting and cutting. He’s sassy, always is, and the consonants of his words sound harsh. He’s saying everything like he’s so sure, like it was obvious, and the word “fuck” twists your intestines in a way that causes you to grimace. It’s nice that he didn’t intend to have sex with you tonight, but now it seems like an offhanded afterthought. If you want to, we can. 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” You bite the edge of your thumbnail. “It’s– well, that’s kind of a big deal for me?”

Trevor nods, encouraging you to continue.

“I haven’t, um. I, kind of, haven’t really… done that… yet.” Your voice shakes a bit in an embarrassing way, a way that makes you want to cringe, but you don’t want to seem so vulnerable in front of Trevor. 

The problem is that you like him. You’ve been going on dates as often as you can, with Trevor’s busy schedule. You enjoy seeing him, you like hanging out with him, and you want to keep doing it. You always get your hopes up and this time is no different, you can feel it. You’re hoping that Trevor won’t say the same shit as the other guys you’ve told this to, the ones that laughed or belittled you or asked “Why? Why haven’t you?” like there’s a good answer to their question.

“Oh,” is the eloquent response that Trevor comes up with. His eyes are wide and his mouth stays slightly open, even when he’s done speaking. It’s like he wants to say more, but he doesn’t know what. 

You’re the same way– you bite the inside of your cheek and your lip as you continue to watch Trevor. If you weren’t feeling so nervous, it would be a funny sight: two people sitting on the couch, just staring at each other with wide eyes.

“I really like you, Trevor,” You tell him. “I just– I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to disappoint you. I don’t want you to leave me because I can’t give you what you want.”

Trevor moves quickly, closing the space between you. He hugs you tightly and you sniff, holding back emotion that you didn’t realize was there. 

“Is there anything else?” Trevor asks , rubbing your back. 

You shake your head.

“I really like you, too,” Trevor adds. “I’m not going to leave you because you’re… inexperienced. I want to keep dating you, Y/N. If you’ll let me, I would really like to…” Trevor trails off, offering you a smile and a little bit of a laugh before continuing. “Teach you?”

Your mouth opens in surprise. “Teach me?” You repeat.

Trevor grimaces, an embarrassed smile on his face. “It sounds stupid, doesn’t it?”

“A little bit,” You agree. Your heart has slowed to its normal pace and Trevor’s hand on your knee is a comfort, not unwelcome pressure. 

“Can I kiss you?” Trevor asks. His voice is soft and his hand has drifted up to your cheek. 

“Well, I’ve done that before,” You joke. You’re not lying– you’ve kissed people in the past. You feel like that should be clear to Trevor before he gets too big of a head. 

“Not with me.” Trevor leans in and presses a kiss to your cheek, then the other. He kisses along your face until he gets to your lips, which is when he pauses before barely letting his lips ghost across yours. He holds himself there for a moment, waits for you to tilt your head up, and Trevor dives in. It’s sweet and he’s patient, never moving any faster than you want him to. 

Over the next week, you tell Trevor your theories about why you haven’t had sex before: that you were a weird kid, or too focused on school, or too eager for the next big thing that you never considered it. Or that guys were scary and often didn’t actually seem to care. Trevor reassured you that he didn’t care that you hadn’t had sex before, but that he did care more about you than anyone he’d ever been with in the past.

By your fifth date, Trevor had officially made you his girlfriend. He had also officially told you that you could ask him any questions you wanted, whenever they popped into your mind.

You had taken advantage of it, often at the worst times:

Over text before a game: “Is it going to hurt?” “Probably. But I’ll go slow and try to get you as ready for my cock as I can.” While you and Trevor are grocery shopping: “What am I supposed to do?” “What do you mean?” “Like, I don’t want to just lay there.” “There are a lot of different positions. I’m not going to make you just lay there.” “Okay, well I don’t think I’ll be any good on top.” “You don’t know that yet. Also, chill out. We’re in the middle of the toilet paper aisle. Can we finish this conversation at home?” Later, in that same grocery trip, while in the condom aisle: “Is it really that different?” “What?” “When you have sex with and without a condom. Is there a big difference?” “Uh, it’s more… intimate without. I think it feels better.” “So should we skip the condom altogether?” “Uh… probably not the first time. We should probably work up to that.” “Well, I want you to feel good.” “You’re going to give me a boner if you keep talking. Shut up. We’re buying condoms.” And when you pouted: “Just be patient, we’ll get there.” When you drop him off for practice: “How long do you usually last?” “I have to go.” Then, over text two minutes after he walks away from the car: “you’re hot so probably not more than two minutes <3”

You’d waited to ask the more pressing questions when you were in private. It brought you a thrill of glee each time you asked a question and you could watch Trevor grow uncomfortable with the effort it took to restrain himself, to not try and get some relief whenever you caused him to grow hard with your unintentionally dirty words. 

“I made a list of questions for you,” You tell Trevor. It’s the last time you’re hanging out before you head home for Thanksgiving. You’re sitting on the same couch, Trevor on one side, you on the other. 

“Twenty questions, sexy style?” Trevor teases, pulling your legs over his lap. 

“You’re my little encyclopedia,” You reply. “And I’m curious.”

“Okay. Go on.”

“What do you like, Trev? Tell me everything. Likes, dislikes, kinks, dare I say fetishes…”

“Don’t really think I have any fetishes, but thanks for being open about it,” Trevor laughs. He rubs his thumb over your ankle. “That’s a really big question, baby.”

You shrug, foregoing a reply.

“I mean, I don’t know. I like sex. I like getting head. I like giving head. I like it when I finger a girl. I like it when I can make a girl come. I occasionally like to spank a girl. I’m pretty chill, baby. I’m down for anything.”

You scoff. “Trev, I don’t know anything. You have to be specific.”

Trevor takes a breath and chews his bottom lip, seeming to consider your words. “I like that you don’t know anything.” His fingers circle your ankle and he squeezes what he can hold in his hand. For probably the first time since he’s talked to you about this sort of thing, Trevor seems hesitant, like he’s choosing his words carefully. “It makes me feel really special.”

“Special how?” You ask.

“I don’t know, just… that you trust me with this.”

You suppress a smile. “Look at you, Mr. Emotional Intimacy.”

Trevor snorts and rolls his eyes. “I’ve never been a huge relationship guy, Y/N. I think it’s really cool that you make me want to experience all this shit with you. It’s nice to feel this way. We get to treat every moment like it’s really special, and that makes me feel special, since most of my other sexual encounters are just heat of the moment hookups with other experienced partners.”

When you open your mouth to apologize for your inexperience, unable to help yourself, Trevor cuts you off. 

“I also think it’s really hot that– God, this sounds so fucked up– I get to show you everything. It’s… like, okay, fuck, it’s kind of the student and teacher thing.”

“So you do have a fetish!” You accuse, pointing your finger at Trevor wildly. He captures your hand and rolls his eyes. “You want me to dress up like a Catholic schoolgirl!”

“I do not!” Trevor replies, sounding exasperated. He pauses to consider it. “Okay, it would be hot. But that’s not why, bro. Chill out.”

“Why, then?” You ask. You’re interested, almost too interested. You want to know what makes Trevor click, what you can do to make him hard and what he looks like when he’s in pleasure, when he comes.

“I like that you’re innocent. It just makes me feel like I get to take care of you. It’s dumb, but I get to be the man and I get to make you feel good and show you how to make me feel good. I’m the only one who’s seen you like this, it’s fun for me.”

Your eyes drift lower to his lap, wanting to see if he’s tenting his shorts just at the idea. He is. You move closer to him, taking your legs off his lap and tucking yourself into his side. Feeling bold, you place your hand on his stomach.

“Can I see you?” You ask, making sure your voice sounds extra sweet and you’re blinking up at him through your eyelashes. 

Trevor practically convulses, his mouth pressed into a straight line, but still wobbling a bit as he stares at you in shock. “What?” He asks.

You let your fingers drift to the waistband of his shorts, but you dare not to tread further. You don’t want to touch him wrong, or mess everything up. But, at the same time, you really want to see his dick. “Can I see you?” You repeat. Then, you let out a little laugh, just to yourself. “I’m–” You cut yourself off and press your lips together, proud of the joke you’re about to make. “I’m a hands-on learner.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Trevor says, shaking his head at your terrible joke. “Baby, are you sure?”

“Trev, I want to see your dick.” You roll your eyes, pulling your hand back. “I should see the hardware before I ask of any more questions, right?”

Trevor seems to be battling with himself. 

You dip your finger under the waistband, feeling his v-line with your pinky. 

It snaps Trevor out of his inner turmoil and he bats your hand away. He shimmies his shorts off, leaving his boxers on. They don’t leave much to the imagination and you bite your lip with a gasp.

It’s big. It’s not even out yet, and it’s big.

Trevor dips his head down, tilting your chin up with a finger, and kisses you softly. “Still sure?” He whispers.

“Leave it in there for a second,” You reply. You lower your voice to a whisper to match his: “How is that going to fit inside me?”

“We’ll go slow and I’ll get you nice and open for me. Three fingers, so it’s easier.” He winks. “Maybe four.”

“Jesus Christ, Trevor.” Your voice is more admonishing than turned on, but it would be a lie if you weren’t intrigued by his words. 

“And you know what else?” Trevor asks. 

You nod for him to continue. 

“If we need to, we’ll use lube. But I want to make you come a couple times before I get my cock in you, that first time. Wanna make it so good for you. You’ll be so relaxed that you’ll forget it’s your first time.”

“A couple times,” You repeat, feeling a little dazed. “Is that… normal?”

Trevor shrugs. “Normal is different for everyone. It’s possible and I think you’ll like the feeling of me making you come. I know I will. So, I hope it becomes normal for us.”

“Okay,” You say. You know your voice sounds unsure. You clear your throat. “Take it out,” You tell him, a little hoarse still. 

“You’re sure?”

“Trevor, just do it,” You let the words burst out of you. “If I hate it, I’ll tell you to put it away!”

Trevor laughs. “God, I hope you don’t hate it. That would really derail my plans for us.” He hooks his thumbs in his waistband and inches his boxers down.

The inching slowly reveals the head of his cock, red and shiny. Eyes wide, you tilt your head to the side. Your lips part as Trevor continues to reveal himself to you. It lays flat against his stomach, curved a little to the side. 

Trevor smiles, the right side of his mouth tilting up into a smirk. He brings his hand to the base of his cock and watches your breath hitch when he pumps himself once, slowly, just to gauge your reaction. He squeezes, milking a little precum out of his tip. 

You tense up, watching the drip slide down his length. 

“Oh my God,” You whisper to yourself. 

“What do you think, baby? Hideous?” Trevor asks, a knowing lilt in his voice. He sees how your eyes haven’t left his dick since he pulled it out of his boxers, curious but also enraptured.

Your hand twitches on his stomach. “Can I…”

Trevor hums, stroking himself again.

“Can I touch you?”

“Whatever you want,” Trevor agrees and takes his hand off of himself, practically dropping his cock like a hot potato. 

You reach out, hesitating at the last second. You pull back. “I feel so stupid.”

“Why?” Trevor asks. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” You say begrudgingly, pouting under his watchful eye. 

“That’s okay. Just get your hand on it, feel it out. I can help you, if you want.”

“No, I want to do it.” You reach out, making contact with Trevor’s cock with a single finger. You draw a line from his base to his tip, following the vein on the side. You bite your lip in concentration, circling the tip of his cock with your finger and thumb. You purse your lips and feel the weight of his cock in your hand, tilting it gently from one side, to the other, forwards and backwards like a joystick, just to see how it moves.

You fail to notice Trevor’s breathing grow deeper, nor the way his eyes are trained on your face.

You press your thumb into the underside of the head of his dick, where the tip meets the shaft. You drag your thumb up, swiping over the slit. A bubble of precum appears and leaks out. You rub your thumb through it, then turn your hand over to look at your thumb.

Trevor’s jaw drops and a strangled noise leaves his mouth when you bring your thumb up to your mouth and take a taste. 

His cock jumps, drawing your eyes. You then look up to him and notice the sweat on his brow. He’s biting his lip to recover from his groan, but lets out a whimper when you circle his cock with your entire hand and pump him. 

“Oh my God,” Trevor whispers, mirroring your reaction from earlier. His voice is shaky and his eyes roll backwards into his head. 

You bring your other hand down to cradle one of his balls, rolling it in your palm. You pump his cock at the same time and Trevor’s hips jump into your fist, catching you off guard.

“Gonna come,” Trevor chokes out. “Just– fuck– keep going.”

“Help me,” You request, taking his hand and bringing it so his hand covers yours.

He moans aloud, tightening his grip (and yours by extension), and moving his hips up into his hand in short thrusts.

“Fuck, is this– is this okay?” Trevor checks with you, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. “Can I come?”

Your eyes stay on his face, watching as his face contorts with pleasure. “Yeah,” You breathe out. “Want to see you come, Trev.”

He lets out a moan at that, throwing his head back as you continue to stroke over his member in tandem. He fucks up until your fists as he hurls himself over the edge, ribbons of come shooting out of his tip and falling in pools over his hand and abdomen. 

A bit drips through his fingers onto your hand and you stare at it, crinkling your nose at the feeling of the sticky substance as it settles on your skin.

“Gross,” You say, wincing at the way it cools on your skin. 

“Let me clean you up,” Trevor offers, tucking himself away and rising off the couch to wet a paper towel. You stand and follow him, holding your hand a reasonable distance away from yourself, and trying not to drip everywhere. When Trevor turns to you with the paper towel, he laughs. “Well, don’t act like it’s acid!”

“You look pretty when you come,” You tell Trevor as he wipes his come off of your hand. He dumps the paper towel in the trash can and you elbow him out of the way to wash your hands for an extra long amount of time. He follows suit when you’re done and you plaster yourself to his back, hugging him from behind.

“What’s that for?” Trevor asks, throwing a glance over his shoulder fondly.

“For being so understanding and nice to me,” You mumble into his back, hiding your face. “Thank you.”

Trevor turns around in your grasp and returns your hug, holding you tightly to his chest. “Oh, baby, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Cuz you find me so hot when I’m innocent,” You giggle, poking his ribs.

“It’s my kink,” Trevor teases back, with a hint of truth to it, though you won’t find out about that until Trevor sheepishly admits it the next time you jerk him off and he’s babbling aimlessly about how pretty you look when you’re staring up at him in awe, asking him how he feels and if you’re doing well. He’s praising you and whining and when he finally comes, he almost hardens immediately after because you lift your hand up and give his come a little kitten lick, getting a taste of him. 

You end up scrunching your nose in distaste, not because you dislike it, but because it’s such a unique taste.

It makes Trevor laugh and it makes him lean in to kiss you, even venturing to open his mouth and let you take the lead with tongue (the way he taught you).

note: the monday morning streak continues! pls send feedback to my inbox (not requests, i'm booked) but i want to talk about this series!! I love chit-chatting with y'all! i also think that since i'm starting my new job(!!!!!!) this week, we might be down to one post this week & then i'll just work on a bunch of stuff throughout the week so i can hopefully post more when i'm acclimated to my job! also, my cousin is having her baby today! it's the first baby of the next generation! i'm so excited for her!

[sc0tters]

Long Time Coming | Jeremy Swayman

summary: you’ve been in love with each other for years, so surely you guys have picked up on it by now

request: yes/no

warnings: mild swearing?

word count: 2.21k

authors note: this is my first time writing for any of the bruins players and I have to say that this is really one of my favourites that I have written in a while. This is the softness we all deserved before I get to something a little more fiery tomorrow for valentines day!

It was a friendship that was never meant to work. 

Jeremy was a popular hockey player and you were a journalism major who preferred spending her time in the library as opposed to the dorms. You swore that the hockey team on campus was bound to all be irritating but when you ended up in a class with Jeremy. Surprised to say that you were paired up with a hockey player for your pottery course was an understatement. 

But three weeks in to your first semester and you found your random elective quickly becoming your favorite class. The goalie made you feel alive as he brought this spark to your life. His teammates started seeing less of him at parties and they were confused until they finally met you. 

Jeremy spent weeks convincing you to finally come to his game. Of course the tale went that when you showed up it was his first shut out game of his college career. Even as the crowd chanted his name, all he wanted was to look for you. It was like clockwork when the boys saw Jeremy lock eyes with you. 

That was the first time that the boys realized Jeremy was in love. The way he spun you around, gushing about how you were his lucky charm. It was also the night that seemed to be the turning point in your relationship with Jeremy. He was no longer your classmate, he was your friend and soon to be your best friend. 

Years had gone by, Jeremy had made his way to the NHL and you had finally graduated. It was funny how you had grown attached to each other, like the moment you left college you were in Boston. Jeremy had you in the guest bedroom of his apartment which made life tougher than ever. 

It was Valentine’s Day and you ended up in his dorm after he revealed that his girlfriend was cheating on him. 

Jeremy swore you had never shown up as fast as you did there. The boy didn’t even time to fully open his door before you were in his arms  “hey Jer.” You sighed as his body clung to yours “she left me.” Jeremy sobbed as tears streamed down his cheeks. 

You rubbed his back desperate to ease his pain “you are better without her.” You mumbled kissing his shoulder as you raked your fingers through his hair “you know I’m not.” Jeremy had spoken to you of how he loved her like she was his world. 

The boy huffed into your neck “I brought everything we need tonight.” Your words made him furrow his eyebrows as he pulled away from you “for what?” Jeremy saw the plastic bag in your hand that had a mixed bunch of goods. 

You took the opportunity to walk into his room as you shut the door behind you “because we are going to eat our feelings away tonight.” You smiled pulling out two tubs of ice cream knowing that neither one of you were about to share. 

Jeremy couldn’t help but smile as he ran his fingers over his jaw “I can’t ask you to stay with me on Valentine’s Day.” He shook his head as it made your lips curl upright “then it’s a good thing that I’m insisting.” You shot back as you held the pint out in his direction. 

It was your kindness that Jeremy first fell in love with. The way you would think about giving someone the shirt off of your back if it could help them. Jeremy felt his heart grow full at the way you were always in the TD Garden with young fans helping them get his attention during warm ups and at the end of games. 

He had grown so comfortable with you and maybe that was his fault. Everyone treated you like you were his girlfriend because you were his partner. You might not have been his romantically but in life you were clearly his. 

That’s why it was so surprising to see you in your room getting ready for a date “you look nice.” Jeremy let his bag drop to the floor as he had come home from practice “thank you.” You smiled plumping your lips together as it coated your lipstick around your lips. 

The hockey player had to admit that he was confused as he leaned against the wall “do you think that he will like it?” You asked as you did a little spin letting him see your outfit in full. It was a blue dress that looked perfect on your skin as the springtime came in “you look perfect.” Jeremy nodded as he felt his chest pang “he?” The boy repeated your words as he froze. 

Watching you grab your phone from your table you rolled your eyes “remember when I told you I was going out with Taylor for lunch.” You motioned to the calendar that had the date and time that you were meant to see him “I didn’t know that Taylor was a dude!” Jeremy’s words brought a scoff to your lips as you crossed your arms. 

He was quick to mentally curse himself as he saw you furrow your eyebrows “why does the gender of my date matter to you?” You cocked your head pressing your finger against his chest “because.” It seemed that in that moment all Jeremy wanted was to tell you that he loved you yet he had all but forgotten how to talk. 

Your foot tapped against the wooden flooring as you awaited an answer “you want to give me an answer?” You watched him practically crawl back into himself as he sighed “have a nice night Jeremy.” He gasped at the feeling of your shoulder hitting his as you walked straight to the front door not giving him a chance to talk.

Jeremy was left wallowing in his emotions as he stared at the different pictures of you two that lived in his phone. The time he surprised you by making it to your graduation, the time you were there for his NHL debut. Even the picture of you two at one of his teammates weddings when Jeremy was caught staring at you. 

That was the day when his current teammates realised that Jeremy was in love with you “you will not believe it!” You groaned as you slammed the door behind you “you’re home early.” The boy mumbled going quiet as he was met with a glare.

Jeremy frowned as he watched you collapse onto the couch next to him “think he wanted to go on a date with you before me.” You complained resting your head on his shoulder “I’m sorry you had a bad date.” The hockey player was quick to wrap his arm around you.

Like always you melted into his touch “no you’re not.” You mumbled feeing him kiss your head “just like that I was right.” Jeremy could have lied but you knew him far too well for the chance to go unnoticed. 

You couldn’t help but laugh “you’re such an ass.” A giggle left your lips as Jeremy turned to look at you “sorry you let this outfit go to waste on him.” His hand ran along your cheek “you like my outfit.” You batted your eyelashes as you smiled. 

Jeremy nodded enjoying the feeling of your soft skin against his thumb “like anything you wear.” He mumbled beginning to turn his head to yours. Like clockwork his eyes shut and just as yours did your phone began to ring “shoot.” You groaned seeing your mom’s contact appear on the screen. 

It hit the boy like a cold shower as he watched you get up grabbing your phone “hey mom.” You tan your fingers through your hair as you sent Jeremy a sorry look “yeah I can talk.” You nodded along walking back into your room as you began catching her up on the events of your day. 

As the evening turned into night and the hours went on, Jeremy didn’t see you again as he had gone to bed. Whilst the lights in the apartment were off both of your minds were active. Truthfully neither one of you remembered what it was like to have your minds this full. 

Jeremy stared at the pictures on his phone of you two and he couldn’t help but curse your mom for calling. Especially after you called your mom this cool woman who was your best friend, that was a far cry from what he would have described as a cock block. 

What he didn’t know was that you were pacing outside of his door. You hadn’t even noticed but halfway through your phone call with your mom you were bringing up how you wanted kiss your roommate. Because of course you had been in love with him since your college days too. Yet yours came from your time in class together. 

You had been in the lecture hall for five minutes as you set yourself up in the middle of the rows. Whilst students came flooding into the cramped room, you were too focused on your phone to notice how Jeremy walked right to you “this seat taken?” The question was innocently asked with a voice barely above a whisper that you didn’t even care to look up as you instead opted to nod. 

It gave Jeremy the chance to settle in next to you “I’m Jeremy.” Even as you two had been in classes together, he had never gotten the chance to see you, especially not like this “Y/n.” You took his hand that he held out for you to shake. 

A smile formed on his lips as he couldn’t help but study your facial features that stood before him in all their glory as you woke up late with little to no time for make up that morning “I know.” Jeremy grinned seeing your lips curve upward “you know?” Your words were playful as you didn’t believe him.

The boy laughed as he nodded “think you’re real pretty y/n.” Your name sounded like honey as it rolled off of his tongue “think that’s enough flirting from you for one day Swayman.” You tucked your hair behind your ear avoiding how wide your smile had grown as you avoided his stare when your cheeks turned red. 

The memories of that day made you smile as you never thought you would fall in love with him. But you couldn’t help but come back to your dorm to gush to your mom about how different your expectations of him were. Yet all of those thoughts were pushed to the back of your mind as the boys door opened letting you be met by his chest. 

You almost fell back as Jeremy’s quick reaction time pulled you closer to him as he steadied your feet “what are you doing awake?” His voice was low as he watched you gulp “couldn’t sleep.” Your fingers ran over his bare chest as you looked up at him. 

If eyes were the key to the soul then the two of you were currently open books “you?” Your lips pursed together as the tension between you both could have been cut by a knife “couldn’t sleep.” He shrugged as he reached behind your head tucking your hair behind your ear.

Jeremy loved how you smiled up at him “what’s on your mind?” He asked noting how your eyebrow arched like something was on your mind “you.” The word came from your lips like it word vomit. 

But as his expression turned surprised it made you go quiet “me?” You nodded letting out a sigh “I try to ignore it but god I’m in love with you.” You ran your fingers through your hair as Jeremy just stared at you.

Maybe it was the shock of hearing you say that but he swore he was dreaming “and I don’t want to lose you but I can’t.” Your chest heaved “I can’t keep on going on these dates hoping it might get you to say something to me.” Tears formed in your waterline as you chewed at the inside of your cheek. 

Jeremy finally opted to put you out of your misery when he smiled “you love me?” His voice was shaky as he squeezed your hips “you’re being mean Jer.” You nodded feeling like you were on the edge of your seat waiting to hear what he would say.

A laugh left his lips “think you can answer my question f’me pretty girl?” Jeremy taunted as he smirked “I’m in love with you.” Your voice was barely a whisper as he shut the gap between you both.

The air was palpable as your heart pounded “I love you too.” Your hair wrapped around his finger as he smiled “can I kiss you?” Jeremy let his lips hover over yours “please.” You nodded letting your eyes shut when he kissed you. 

The kiss made you melt as his lips swiped across yours. Jeremy let his hands travel through your hair settling at the nape of your neck refusing to let you go. Only when you both needed air did you pull apart “wow.” Jeremy groaned running his thumb over your lower lip. 

It made you laugh “yeah.” You nodded sending him a smile “think we should do that more often.” Your words had the boy pulling you into his room “why wait?” The hockey player asked picking you up as your legs wrapped around his waist as he picked you up.

Whilst the city might have been colder as the rain came in that night with a spring storm but what nobody would know was how hot the activities were in his room. You were left twisted in his sheets as your hearts intertwined and life began to show that the only way possible for you both was together. 

[sunshine-zenith]

I mean. If A New Wish takes place roughly 20 years after the original series (which seems to be the case since Vicky was 16 in the original and is said to be 36 here), then wouldn't Peri be RIGHT at college age?? Why is he immediately going into childcare instead of spending some time partying at the club.

Like I kind of get why he keeps getting distracted by his parents- he literally hasn't seen them in years and there doesn't seem to have been any contact between them during that period. Who was raising him while Cosmo and Wanda were gone. Is he still the only fairy born within the past ten thousand years. Did he cope at all with suddenly losing his brother forever, or is he just repressing it like he's apparently subconsciously been doing with Vicky and who knows what else. Peri and Dev can go to therapy together

This ask got me seriously thinking about the timeline between FOP and FOP:ANW, especially in relation to the Cosma-Fairywinkles

So Wanda and Cosmo’s ten thousand year long vacation obviously involved time travel, and from how both Wanda and Peri words things, it sounds like he wasn’t there with them, at least for the last part of it — she specifically says they lost track of him during those ten thousand years and he specifically call it their (his parents’) vacation, not our vacation. That said, this trip, again, obviously involved time travel, meaning that while ten thousand years passed for Cosmo and Wanda, they might’ve only been gone for a few months for Peri. While that’s still a super long time, given how old Cosmo and Wanda are, it might not be that long for them (ex I was talking about school timelines with an older coworker, and she said that while an extra year is a long time for someone in their 20s, like me, for someone in their 40s-50s like her it’s nothing)

That said, even if the vacation wasn’t that long from Peri’s perspective, Peri specifically notes he hasn’t seen them since they got back from it — we don’t actually know how long Cosmo and Wanda were living as a “normal retired human couple” but it’s been long enough that they at least know some of the local celebrations (the lightbulb-ice cream parade)

Wanda and Cosmo don’t seem like the type of people to abandon/neglect their kid, especially after something as presumably tragic and traumatic as their sibling completely forgetting about them, so I’m just gonna assume that they either didn’t start their vacation until Peri was old enough to be on his own, or that they took Peri with them and Peri broke off from them early on when he reached the age of majority

Cosmo specifically notes the year 2001, which is a reference to when the original show started airing. This also technically establishes 2001 as the year Peri was born, since Timmy doesn’t age over the course of the series (ignoring timeline shenanigans from later in the series that ended up being reversed anyway) (also Peri is officially Gen Z rep)

I’m gonna say that ANW takes place in 2023-2024, since that’s when it was animated/aired, so about 22-23 years from the original series, which works with Vicky being said to be in her late 30s-early 40s and AJ looking to be in his early 30s (plus for all the fantastical elements these shows include when history is concerned — ie every they do with dinosaurs — this writers do seem fond of establishing political events in the series as matching the real world — ie Cosmo getting emotional over Obama and wanting to go back to those days. Establishing the show as being 2024 instead of 2021 gives enough distance in universe from quarantines that the writers can get away with not mentioning it. If it was meant to be set in 2021, I feel like the writers would include some kind of reference — a throw away line establishing it as something that did/didn’t happen in universe)

We don’t know how fairies age, how long it takes them to reach the age of majority, but yeah, Peri just feels very Young Adult coded, and him being 20-23 just kinda works with his character. He comes off as someone fresh out of school working their first real job and being blindsided by how different it is from what he expected/studied. Assuming that he aged like a human up until adulthood and assuming that Cosmo and Wanda waited until he was old enough to study on his own (18) in a safe environment (a fairy academy presumably), that means it’s potentially been 2-5 years since he’s seen them and that he spent his adulthood/adult education without them — no wonder they still see him like a kid while he wants them to treat him like an independent adult, he was basically still a kid going off to school when they last saw him while he had years of his own to give the adult thing again (again, in a hard but semi-sheltered environment that would be a school in fairy world). It’s possible Cosmo and Wanda are overcompensating for the thousands of years they missed (for them)/missing important events like graduation (for Peri)

It makes me think of the fact that the writers specifically named the robots that care for Dev and fulfill his demands (ei what ends up being Peri’s job when he comes along) “au pairs” — an au pair is basically a cross between a foreign exchange student and a nanny, someone (typically a young adult) from a different country who moves in with a local family and helps take care of the children and house in exchange for a living situation, and many au pairs specifically take on the role while studying at a local university. That’s not too far off from what Peri/a Fairy Godparent’s role is

All that out of the way… yeah Peri should be in the club. BUT who would he even go out with? Yes he had similar aged peers in the original series (Foop/Irep and Goldie), but we don’t actually know if fairies started having kids again after he was born. If he had classmates as an adult, they would likely be fairies much older than him returning to school, so people he might not easily relate to

Thinking about it, it starts to make sense why Peri was given such a hard case for his first godkid — fairies can chose to go into retirement but for the longest time couldn’t have children, so there wasn’t anyone to take up the jobs they leave behind. In the original series there was a fairy godparent shortage that probably only got worse as fairies working that job got to the point of “okay, this is my last child, I’m done after this.” Peri was possibly one of the only fairy godparents available (who else would go to Dev? Cookie? The fairy still pissed off at Cosmo and Wanda and going after Hazel? Please, she’d probably refuse before even looking at Dev), plus he didn’t have anyone experienced to give him advice going into things, so he couldn’t, say, negotiate for an easier kid to start with or something before taking up the job

Peri is a young adult with almost no one to relate to, choosing a career that he views as “the family business” to make his parents proud, choosing a career he automatically has a unique relationship to because of the timing of when he was born and who he grew up with, who has a strained relationship with his parents because of years of (unintentional but still) no contact (not to mention the very real family loss of having their other kid/his big brother basically go away forever and completely forget about them in the process, which can’t be easy to navigate), who’s working a hard job with no experience and seeming no resources

He really was doomed from the get go, wasn’t he

[hayleythesugarbowl]

trevor evarts x smosh cast member! reader PLEASEEE

Am I The Crush? || Trevor Evarts x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: when trevor joined smosh, you quickly became friends, helping him settle in—and secretly crushing on him. then some interesting things are revealed in a reddit stories video.

word count: 2.2k

warnings: mild swearing

a/n: happy to give you the trevor content you deserve �� this takes place shortly after trevor joined smosh. reader is relatively close to trevor’s age. fem!reader. enjoy darling!!

<— another trevor fic • trevor hcs —>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     “So, what’s up with you and Trevor?” 

     Your eyes snapped up in shock, looking at Angela’s expectant face across from you.

     “What’s up? Nothing!” you said quickly.

     You sat across from her and Arasha at a table, quickly eating your lunch before your next shoot. She raised her eyebrow at you and you just took a bite of your sandwich, avoiding her gaze.

     “It’s just you guys are, like, always together,” she prompted, looking to Arasha for help. 

     “You do spend a lot of time with each other,” Arasha chimed in. 

     “We’re friends,” you told them both. “That’s all.”

     The truth was, you kind of wished that wasn’t all.

     Trevor had just joined the Smosh cast no more than a month ago. You, having been a cast member for years now, had taken it upon yourself to help him get acclimated and feel comfortable there, befriending him immediately. 

     Which you did out of the kindness of your heart and definitely not because Trevor was insanely cute and also happened to be the closest cast member to your age.

     You quickly became close friends, confiding in each other, hanging out at work, talking for hours on end. You really enjoyed his presence and you couldn’t imagine Smosh without him now.

      And the more you had spent time with him, the more you realized that you had feelings for him. Some days you thought maybe. Maybe he might feel the same way.  And then then other days you thought you were delusional and you should stop crushing on your friend and coworker. 

     You were brought out of these thoughts by Angela’s voice.

     “Yeah okay, and Shayne and Courtney are ‘just friends’,” she said sarcastically.

     “That’s nothing like this,” you assured her. “There’s nothing going on between me and Trevor.”

     “What about Trevor?” 

     You spun around to find Trevor himself walking up behind you. 

     “Nothing! We weren’t talking about you!” Angela blurted out.

     “What she means,” Arasha shot Angela a look, covering for her obviousness. “Is that we were just talking about how you and (Y/n) have that Reddit stories video to film later today.”

     “She’s so good at it,” Angela whispered to herself, shaking her head at Arasha’s easy lie. 

     You ignored her and turned back to Trevor. 

     “Oh yeah,” Trevor shot a quick glance at you. “It should be an interesting one.”

     “Do you know what the theme is?” You asked him. “They didn’t tell me.”

     Trevor ran a hand along the back of his neck. “I’m not sure. Something about romance?”

     “Safe bet,” you nodded. “How was Two Truths One Lie?”

     “Wet,” he announced, gesturing to his shirt. “Shayne sucks.”

     You giggled.

     “So,” Trevor started. “Are we still on for coffee after work?”

     Across from you, Arasha raised an eyebrow and Angela grabbed Arasha’s arm. You shot them a look before your gaze returned to Trevor.

     “Why, are you trying to cancel?” You asked.

     He put a hand in his heart. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Boy Scout’s honor.”

     “You were a Boy Scout?” Angela asked in disbelief.

     “No, it just sounds cool,” he shrugged. “Well, I’ll catch you guys later. (Y/n), you still owe me an ice cream.”

     “And you owe me a pineapple.”

     “I thought that was just cause you loved me,” Trevor pouted.  

     “It was. And now I want my pineapple back,” you teased.

     “I love you,” Trevor tried, batting his eyelashes at you.

     “Let’s call it a wash,” you agreed, mostly because you were too flustered by him saying he loved you to come up with anything else.

     Angela coughed into her hand.

     “Right, I’ll see you.” Trevor made a small waving motion, before continuing on the other way.

     There was silence between you, Angela, and Arasha for a moment.

     “A pineapple?” Arasha asked finally.

     “It’s a long story,” you told her.

     They both looked at you.

     “Okay, so maybe I like Trevor a little bit,” you whispered. 

     “Good, because he definitely likes you,” Arasha said. 

     “What?” You felt your face warm. “How can you tell?”

     “How can you not tell!” Angela interjected. “Were you not just here for that? Who owes someone a pineapple?”

     “She’s right.” Arasha nodded. “He obviously cares about you a lot. He’s making plans outside of work. There’s always the inside jokes. He feels comfortable around you but was clearly nervous about something.”

     “You got all of that out of one interaction?” You looked at her in disbelief.

     She shrugged, taking a sip of her drink.

     You pondered what your friend had said. You couldn’t deny that you hoped what she deduced was true. Did Trevor feel the same way about you as you did about him?

     No. You shook off the delusion. This was Trevor, your friend, who definitely didn’t have feelings for you. 

      “Well, it doesn’t matter, because I’m not going to do anything about it,” you decided. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship if he doesn’t like me back—which I still strongly suspect, by the way.”

     “Hey, do whatever you want,” Arasha put her hands up. “Again, it’s your decision.”          

     “I’ll tell him,” Angela said suddenly, shrugging.

     “You most certainly will not,” you warned her, slapping her hand. 

     “Don’t worry, I’ll be subtle!” She teased, waggling her eyebrows. 

     “Angela, I love you, but you’re about as subtle as a sledgehammer,” Arasha patted her shoulder. 

     “Hey!” Angela shouted, looking around in outrage. “I can be subtle!”

     Your mind wandered as they argued, thinking about Trevor.

     You still didn’t believe them that Trevor had a crush on you, but the more you thought about, it the more you pictured what it would be like to be dating Trevor. Sharing jackets, holding hands at work, forehead kisses after a long day, going on coffee shop dates that were actual dates.     

      “(Y/n),” hearing your name, you looked up, your fantasy ending abruptly. “Tell Arasha I’m subtle.”

     You smiled at you friend. “Like a bull in a china shop.”

     ₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

    “You ready for this?” 

     You approached Trevor, smiling at him as you walked towards the set a few hours later. 

     “You say that like we’re going to war,” he said. “I’ve been in these videos before.”

     “Sure, but not since you’ve officially been Smosh cast. You don't know about the rituals—it’s pretty hardcore,” you teased. 

     “Hold my hand?” Trevor joked back, and your heart fluttered, if only for a second.

     “The horrors you’ll face are that which even I can’t protect you from,” you said in a dramatic voice.

     “Well in that case, I’ll hold Shayne’s hand.”

     “Sorry man, I’m taken,” Shayne said, overhearing as you walked towards the couch across from him.

     “You’re much cuter than him anyway,” Trevor stage-whispered as he sat down next to you.

     Your stomach flipped. It was times like these when you could almost imagine that he returned your feelings. You shook the thought from your mind, trying not to read too much into it.

     You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the shoot and pushing thoughts of Trevor out of your mind. 

     You heard the director call rolling and then action. Shayne began the intro.

     “What’s up guys, we’re back with yet another Reddit stories video,” he said. “I’m here with (Y/n)—”

     You waved at the camera. 

     “—and Trevor, who just kind of walked in here, so apparently he’s in this video.”

     “Hey!” Trevor objected. A couple people off camera laughed at Shayne’s joke.

     “Today we’re going to be looking at some stories about crushes.”

     Great, you thought. Just what you needed right now. 

     “So, I think we should just jump into these. We have some interesting ones here, so let’s get into it,” Shayne said, looking at you and Trevor.

    “I’m ready,” you said.

    “Let’s freaking go,” Trevor agreed. 

     “Alright, so this first one says: Am I the asshole for leaving my fiancé after I met an attractive celebrity at a party?”

     “Starting off strong,” you said.

     …

     And that’s how the rest of the episode went. Shayne reading stories about people who sabotaged others because of their crushes or changed themselves completely or simply liked people they shouldn’t.

     You almost forgot about your crush on Trevor as you listened to the stories and provided your commentary.

     Almost.

     Hearing his responses to everything just made you remember why you had feelings for him in the first place. You were reminded of how kind and funny and thoughtful and wise he was. And it took all of you to not reach over to the other side of the couch and touch him.

     Not that this was exactly new.

     “Alright,” Shayne said, after a particularly insane story. “That was pretty wild.”

     “I know,” Trevor agreed. “Hiring sharks is crazy.”

     “I mean, I see where he’s coming from,” you joked and they both looked at you before you all started laughing.

     “Moving on,” Shayne said. “To our last story.”

     Trevor shifted in his seat next to you. You looked at Shayne expectantly, but Shayne was watching Trevor. He looked away quickly, beginning to read. 

     “So this one says: Am I the asshole for not asking a girl out, even though I really like her?” 

     “Story of my life, am I right?” Trevor held his hand up for a high five, and you returned it weakly. What other girls was he referring to?

      “I can’t relate,” you joked, “I ask people out.”

     Well, you know, except for Trevor.

     Trevor looked uncomfortable just then and you furrowed your brow. But then the moment passed and it was as if you imagined it.

     “So,” Shayne began again. “This person continues: So for some context, I just started working at a new company. I really enjoy my job there, especially because there’s this girl that I’ve been crushing on ever since I started my job. She had already been working at the company for years, and after I started working there we became friends. She was really nice to me and helped me feel comfortable there. And I quickly started to really like her.”

      “Pretty standard so far,” Shayne interrupted himself. “One of the tamer ones.”

     But you were barely listening to him. Something about this story seemed oddly familiar, but you didn’t dare hope.

     “However,” Shayne went on. “I haven’t asked this girl out. We’ve been friends for a month now, and I really want to, but I keep chickening out. I don’t want to ruin our friendship or work relationship if she doesn’t like me back. She’s way out of my league, and I’m scared she’ll say no. And I feel like the asshole because she deserves to know how I feel and that I think she’s the prettiest, funniest, sweetest, most talented person I know—even if she does still owe me a mint chocolate chip on a waffle cone.”

     Your eyes snapped up. Your heart had started beating faster and faster as this story had started to sound more and more like one you knew well. 

     But now your gaze immediately shot to Trevor who was watching you with an expression like nerves and hope.

     “So,” he swallowed. “What do you think? Am I the asshole?”

     You couldn’t believe this. Trevor had feelings for you. And if this really was his story, you had basically been living the same experience for the past month. 

     You shook your head, your voice coming out breathy. You felt out of breath, even though you hadn’t even left the couch. “No. No you’re not the asshole.”

     Trevor breathed out. “Phew. I was afraid between this and the pineapple thing, you’d think I was some kind of mega-asshole.”

     “Only if you don’t ask me out right now,” you said, taking in a breath and smiling up at him.

     “(Y/n) (Y/l/n), will you go out with me this Saturday, and buy me ice cream?” Trevor asked. 

     “Gold digger,” you rolled your eyes at him, but you couldn’t have been happier. 

     “Fine,” he said, eyes sparkling. “Will you go out with me if I buy you ice cream.”

     “That’s more like it,” you teased. “And yes, yes I will.”

     “She said yes!” Trevor mock-whispered to Shayne.

     “Nice dude, she likes you back,” he said, continuing the bit. You’d almost forgot that Shayne—or anyone else—was there. In your mind, it was just you and Trevor.

     “A lot,” you said, grabbing Trevor’s hand. “She likes you a lot.”

     Trevor beamed at you. 

     “Yeah she does!” Angela called from where she and Arasha were sitting off-set. You hadn’t even known they were watching. “Who’s subtle now?”

     “Should I say ‘I told you so’ now, or do you want it in written form?” Arasha said.

     “Shut up,” you yelled at them, but it was without any conviction. You were too happy to be bothered by their antics.

     “So, it appears we have an update,” Shayne ad-libbed. “Looks like OP is actually not as big of a chicken as we originally thought. And it looks like this girl he talked about must’ve settled.”

     As everyone laughed, you looked at Trevor, grinning. You couldn’t wait for your date—and not just because of the free ice cream. 

     “Well, this has been Crush Reddit Stories. And also Trevor finally getting his first girlfriend.” Shayne joked. 

     You giggled, leaning closer to Trevor on the couch. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder. 

     “And we finally have confirmation that Trevor is, in fact, a Redditor,” Shayne said.

     “Only for you,” Trevor said to you as Shayne continued the outro. “Only for you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed my lovelies 💌 trevor is so bbg and more people need to be talking about it !!

[oldwritingm]

I wish I could go on a date with Nina :( but I might make a part 2 of this if you guys want :3

Creepypasta/MH - Dates With Them

Characters: Nina the Killer, Jeff the Killer, Tim/Masky, "Ticci" Toby

Nina the Killer

I feel like you have a good mix of types of dates with Nina

Some of them are super impromptu; like she'll pop her head in your room and tell you to be ready to leave soon

And then you'll head out for ice cream or to the mall or smth :)

But she also likes to plan things sometimes, particularly romantic things

Like picnics or romantic walks at night

Or, if you're also crazy, midnight murder sprees <3

She always seems to have the perfect outfit for whatever occasion though

And, if you're dating her, so will you

She would have showered you with enough gifts (and taken you to the mall enough times) that you also have like. the PERFECT outfit for a specific occasion

So neither of you really have to worry about what to wear

But Nina still does; specifically when it comes to planned dates

She'll fret over what to wear for at least a day, having long private fashion shows in her room until she finds the perfect one

She's always super confident in whatever she wears, practically beaming when you meet up to get going :)

And she will combust if you mention her outfit; she knows she looks great, but to hear it from you is just <33

Ofc she always compliments you too!!

But for more casual dates sometimes she will stop you like "ok you are NOT leaving the house like that. come on, I'll help you pick something that actually suits your stunning beauty."

No you don't have a choice when that happens ^

Dw though, she'll pick something nice that you both like and that fits your aesthetic :3

Jeff the Killer

Dates with him are always a surprise

In many ways...

There's no way to know what he's planning or when he's planning it or if it's even planned at all

Like, sometimes you'll just be out for a walk and he'll say:

"This is a date btw."

"What?! You could've told me beforehand, I would've worn something nice..." >:/

And he just laughs, because he thinks you're still gorgeous in your hoodie and jeans :)

But another way that his dates are a surprise is because his concept of a "date" is so broad and obscure

One time he literally just took you to look at this old truck that crashed in a creek

That was it. That was the date. You walked a short distance and just looked at the truck for like 45 minutes

Jeff rarely plans his dates ahead of time

The most of a head's up you're going to get is a text saying "dinner at 8"

(you got the text at 6)

("dinner" is most definitely either McDonald's or some trashy two-star hole-in-the-wall buffet)

Needless to say, Jeff isn't very romantic in the traditional sense

But for all his weirdness and un-romantic date planning, he still loves every second he gets to spend with you

He loves that you're beautiful in whatever you're wearing, he loves that you laugh at whatever lame joke he makes...

Maybe that's why he doesn't feel the need to do something showy... you're already perfect when you're casual :)

But he's also just lazy and kind of a dirtbag

Tim/Masky

Dates with him are rare

Unless you're the one planning them; he's not going to be the one initiating them in most cases

He just doesn't know how to plan a date

And he's nervous he'll get it wrong :(

But at the same time, sometimes he just really wants to go out and do something with you

So sometimes he'll ask you out for a meal, or for a drive

Something pretty quick and casual; something easy that's hard to screw up

It'll seem impromptu, but in reality he would've been planning to ask you for days at least

You guys definitely have a few favorite diners, or some scenic routes to drive

Honestly that just makes it even easier for him; he'll just shoot you a text:

"Dino’s tonight?"

And ofc you'll say yes; you both love Dino's :) (or whatever little diner)

If and when he does do something romantic, it’s rarely as big as a whole date

Like he’ll get you flowers or smth, but it’s super rare that he’ll take you on a really romantic date

But sometimes he will :o

And he’ll dress up and act a perfect gentleman, complimenting you, getting you little gifts, holding your hand…

It’s like he’s trying to make up for all his un-romanticness in one night

And maybe he is tbh :(

“Ticci” Toby

Toby just likes spending time with you; it doesn’t really matter what you’re doing :)

As long as it’s at least vaguely interesting to him, he’s cool doing whatever

So oftentimes he’ll be the one asking you what you want to do for dates

He doesn’t really have a set “date night” for you two, but he tries to have one every now and again

It’s usually when he has an idea that he decides it’s time for a date night

(Or just when he feels like going on a date with you)

Sometimes he’ll see a cute date in a movie (or when stalking “people watching”) and decide he wants to try it with you

Especially if it looks like fun, like a paintball game or trying a crazy new restaurant

But he also likes the sappy stuff, like a home movie night or stargazing

It ends up being pretty boring for him, but the way his heart races when you hold his hand is more than enough to keep him on board :)

Toby likes to do romantic gestures, no matter what kind of date you’re on

At first it was only because “it’s what people who date do” (stuff he saw in movies)

But he found himself actually enjoying your reactions, so he made a habit of doing those kinds of things

Getting you a bouquet of your favorite flowers, kissing your hand, pulling out your chair for you…

(grinning wildly at your subtle reactions all the while)

It almost makes him seem like a gentleman

But then he’ll spend the date yapping about the most unhinged shit and you’ll be reminded that he’s. Like that

But hopefully that’s what you’re really into if you’re dating him :)

Thank you so much for reading! Take care duckies <33

(divider by saradika)

[bleedingoptimism]

Steve only agreed to go out with Tommy after their parents set them up because he “owed” his dad for ruining a potential business partnership for him at a dinner party.

To the rest of the guests, the man had just tripped and embarrassed himself but he knew and Steve knew and Steve’s dad knew: Steve had tripped him. But the guy had groped his ass when he crossed him on his way to the bathroom. He had it coming.

And even if his father had agreed with him after Steve told him the truth, he still needed help landing another client since his most profitable opportunity turned out to be a big ol’ creep. A date with another client’s son. Young, rich, good-looking, a single dad. It didn’t sound that bad.

And so Steve met Tommy. 

At first, Tommy was… good. He was charming, cute, a praiser and a joker but the more Steve got to know the less he liked. After a while the compliments stopped and the commanding requests began. Get me this, pick this up, cook me, blow me, dress me, feed me, drive me, me, me, me.

But if Steve wanted or needed something? Tommy was sooo tired and busy. He hadn’t even made an effort to meet Steve’s friends yet. Plus he was always making Steve feel dumb and unimportant, saying his job was silly, even if Steve made almost as much money as him with fewer hours.

Telling him not to ‘worry his pretty head about it’ when Steve asked for clarifications or wouldn’t talk to him about work because Steve ‘wouldn’t get it’. He talked down on Steve all the time and offered him money to ��buy himself something nice” in a degrading manner as if Steve was nothing more than arm candy for him.

The worst part was when he realized Tommy… wasn't funny. At all. All his jokes were based on making fun of other people. And he was the only one who laughed at them. He was no better than a bully. He… kind of sucked.

And Steve would’ve loved to never have to see him again. But the problem was he had fallen in love with Tommy’s daughter, Tarja. Because Tommy might have been a terrible boyfriend but at least he was a good enough father. So the weeks Tommy got Tarja, Steve spent most of his time with her. 

She was just a delight. Cute, smart, and actually funny. She had the most deadpan sarcastic humor a 6-year-old could manage and it cracked him up. She was also super creative and loved drawing, reading, bedtime tales, and coming up with stories of her own.

Her emotional maturity was impressive, better than her father’s actually, and one of Steve’s favorite things about her. He’d never forget the day he went to pick her up from school and she’d been upset. When Steve asked her how he could help she had calmly explained what had happened, how it made her feel, and what she could do about it… over ice cream, obviously. It made him wonder what kind of person her other dad was like because she had clearly not learned how to communicate like that from Tommy.

And the thing is, Steve had always wanted a kid, ever since he was young all he wanted was a family and even if Tommy wasn’t great he just couldn’t make himself leave the connection he felt with Tarja. And he couldn’t just come out to Tommy and say: ‘Hey I wanna break up, but I’d love to keep seeing your kid,’ that would land him at best a punch, at worst in jail.

There was also the fact that, no matter how much he tried to deflect, Tommy’s comments were starting to get to him. Maybe Tommy was as good as he’d get, maybe he was dumb and uninteresting and the only thing he had going for him was his looks, maybe this was his only chance for a family. So he stuck it out. Cherished the times when they were all together.

And then he met Eddie.

👈previous part

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[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddie-week.

Seen Nothing, Heard Nothing

Day #4 - Prompt: Trade | Word Count: 833 | Rating: T | CW: Steve's S3 Injuries, Spooky Vibes, Language | POV: Eddie | Tags: Canon Divergent S3, What If Eddie Crossed Paths With Steve and The Upside Down Sooner?, What If Steve and Robin's Run-In With The Russians Happened Just Bit Differently?

"Hello?"

Eddie freezes. Utterly fucking freezes. The stilted male voice that has come from somewhere around him sounds ethereal, floating. Like it's an echo. Bouncing through the trees. Like it might be right next to him, but also far, far away.

Ignore it. 

That's what his grandma always taught him. You've seen nothing, you've heard nothing. 

Mind your own business.

"Hello? Is somebody there?"

The voice is familiar, less creepy this time, but he can't place it. The familiarity doesn't mean safety, though. Mimicking known voices isn't at all unusual in the realm of weird, and it's best to not engage. Rule one: Do not invite anything of that world into your own world.

So, Eddie ignores it and keeps gathering up his stuff, acting like he's not in a hurry, even if his heart is hammering behind his ribs.

"I need some help."

Then he hears the rustling through the trees along the well-worn path, and his heart drops. It sounds like something is tromping towards him, getting loud and louder with every step. 

He slings his backpack over his shoulder, and takes three big steps away from the picnic table, away from whatever that thing is, without running. Not that he has anywhere to go. Not really.

That's the way out, and unless he wants to just stumble through the thick woods, getting lost, he's kind of trapped.

He's never felt scared here before, and he hates it.

So, he decides he'll just forge past whatever it is. Without acting like he's heard a damn thing.

He really hopes it's invisible. He can ignore noises, voices. But if he has to see something? He's gonna freak the fuck out and get himself disemboweled, for sure. He'll scream like a little bitch and freeze.

Then he'll run.

He just knows that about himself.

You've seen nothing, you've heard nothing. 

You've seen nothing, you've heard nothing. 

You've seen nothing, you've heard nothing. 

He keeps telling himself that as he walks up the path, trying desperately not to run. Hawkins is weird, but it's never been this kind of weird, as far as he's seen.

But this has scared the shit out of him.

"Eddie? Eddie Munson?" 

Eddie stills. That voice is closer, and crystal clear.

And definitely Steve Harrington. 

"Thank god. Dude, are you deaf, or what? I've been asking for your help for ten minutes. Goddamn."

Okay, not a monster.

Just a dumb jock.

Eddie wheels around, snarking, "What's the matter, Harrington. The big bad wolf take a bite out of ya?"

And the next words, the next bit of sarcasm, dies in his throat. 

Steve's face is wrecked. His body, too, Eddie suspects by the way he's limping along. Eye nearly swollen shut, covered in a dark purple bruise. He's missing a shoe.

And he's in a sailor suit. Like the ones from the ice cream shop in the mall. Does Harrington work there? Surely not.

Eddie drops his bag, and bounds towards him, "What happened to you? Who did this? Or what?"

Steve looks at him from his one good eye, and sways. 

"Robbin'," Steve says, and Eddie grips his shoulders, forcing him to back up until he can sit down on the bench of the old picnic table.

"Robbing? You were robbed?" Eddie asks, and Steve's mouth is swollen, too. Blood staining his front teeth, dried on his face where it came from his broken nose.

"No. Robin," Steve repeats.

"Who's Robin?" Eddie questions.

"Robin. Buckley."

"From band? Robin Buckley from band did this to you?"

Steve looks exasperated, and like he wants to cry at the same time.

"No. No. The Russians. She made a trade. I said no, I did, but she was scared, and I was…this," Steve says. "We have to go back. I just need help. They drugged me."

"The Russians?" Eddie asks, his eyebrows shooting up. 

Steve nods, "Under the mall."

"How'd you end up out here in the woods?" Eddie asks. Because he's a long way from the mall, even if what he's saying is true. That's on the other side of town.

"They dumped me," Steve says. "I think they thought I was dead."

"Well, you look it," Eddie says, and then regrets it. 

"We need to find Nancy Wheeler. She'll know what to do."

"Steve, are you sure this is really something that happened? And not just in your head after whatever accident you've clearly had?"

Steve sighs and holds his head in his hands. He's missing a fingernail, like it had been plucked right off. Like he was tortured.

Shit. Okay.

"Okay, okay. We'll go back. We'll find Robin."

Eddie isn't at all sure what he's agreeing to, but Steve can't do anything by himself. Not in this condition. They'll find Nancy Wheeler, and Eddie isn't sure what a little priss like her is gonna do, but whatever Steve wants, they'll try.

"Thank you," Steve breathes, and as sure as Eddie is that he'll regret this, he's in it now.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddie-week and follow along with the fun!

[babsvibes]

To see your fortune, keep reading. Thank you @drawthething for the perfect spooky cute graphic, and happy halloween!

The Jack-O’-Lentil Burger

Lemme see, gimme your hand, come on come on. Oh. Oh wooow, yeah I’m getting some big energy here. Huge. It’s saying… you want an ice cream sundae with lots of chocolate sauce and nuts on the side. Or wait, maybe I’m just hungry. Or wait! Maybe not. This could be a sign that you should look for the sweeter things in life. Do it on purpose! Say “I’m gonna be sweet to me” … no go on say it. “I’m gonna be sweet!” There you go, there they are. Hey maybe you can find a bunch of trick-or-treaters and swipe a candy or two, haha! Just kidding… To enjoy the sweeter things in life, reblog fanart you enjoy with something nice in the tags!

If Looks Could Kale Burger

And that’s when I tell Ginger “hey, who’s the one driving this mustard on wheels” and she goes- huh? Ohhh, right right, the fortune thing, right. You should, uh, avoid dark tunnels and also take an umbrella. For the dark tunnel. Wait no don’t go in the dark tunnel. Wait, let me see your hand again. To always have an umbrella if you need one or don’t, find one of your favorite posts and reblog it again!

Beets of Burden Burger

Oh! Ah, nuts. You, uh, might not like this one. You’re going to lose something soon. It's not the end of the world, but it’s not fun either. Like, oh, one time I lost Gene’s favorite nickel. That was a rough two weeks. He couldn’t even be bribed with special crackers! Sorry, hon. To find your lost item or Gene’s favorite nickel, spend three minutes with a project you’re working on!

Texas Chainsaw Mass-Curd Burger

Look at you, so pretty, such a lovely face. And your hands! Oh, I’d kill for these hands. Not that I would, no I wouldn’t… maaaybee :) Okay, let’s see. Oooo I love it, you’re going to get good news soon! Maybe from me because I won’t steal your hands? Probably not, but there is good news coming. Alriiight, good one! To keep Linda from stealing your hands, leave a comment on one of your favorite fanfics!

Rest in Peas Burger

Uhhn yuhh yuhh gagaga oo… I got it! You know that thing? You know, the thing? Yeah, I think a solution is coming your way. But you might not like it. What’s important is that you look on the sunny side, and there is a sunny side! That’s what I tell my Bobby all the time. He uh… he’s getting there with the whole cheery thing. Sorta. To enjoy a "Keep Your Sunny Side Up and Your Cloudy Side Down, Stay Positive, Bobby, Things Are Gonna Be Okay Burger,” spend three minutes with a project you’re working on!

Every Breath You Tikka Masala Burger

Come on, what do we got? Hmmm, oh yeah it’s coming to me. I’m seeing… three bats and a purple tophat. The bats can’t wear the tophat. It doesn’t fit their head. Oh god, they’re trying anyway. Don’t do that, little bats! You’ll get smooshed! N- oh, no, okay yeah they’re fine. And they’re so cute, awww dressed up in their hats, adorable. I think that’s a good thing? To… accept whatever that was, share a draft that you’re proud of!

Sympathy for the Deviled Egg Burger

You might need to give me a minute, my brain bucket feels busted. Tina’s got a spooky secret admirer, and we’ve been trying to figure out who it is all day. Being a fortune teller isn’t an easy job, but neither is being a mom! Haha! Noo I love it, I love it. Maybe your fortune should be thanking someone who has helped you grow? Hmm, I AM getting a strong sense of loyalty. Maybe check in on someone, and make sure to let them know how you’re doing too. To spread the love, send a kind ask to a blog you admire!

Onion-Tended Consequences Burgers

Oh my god! Is this blood on your hands?! Or is it… tch, it’s just a bit of ketchup, so silly! Are you a prankster or a murderer? You were just eating fries? Yeah okay, sure sure sweetie… um, your fortune is that sometimes people jump to conclusions. Sometimes even you. Take a second and remember most people are just being a little silly, not intentionally mean. And most people are definitely not going to tell their husbands they met a murderer today. To get away with any other alleged crimes, post a headcanon or find one you enjoy and share it!

Human Polenta-Pede Burger

Mmmmhhhmm mmm umuinimumunim. Oh no. Sweetie, I’m so sorry, but you’re going to get food stuck in your teeth. And it’s going to be green! And the waiter’s going to see! Oh this is horrible, maybe we can take your teeth out? No, no we can’t do that… To laugh it off with the waiter, spend three minutes with a project you’re working on!

I’ve Created a Muenster Burger

Now this is a juicy one! Did you do something a liiittle naughty? Something involving the letter M? Or J? Or B? Oh yeah, I can tell, but that’s okay! Everyone has a bit of a wild story they’re hiding. Like this one time, I turned my back on Louise when she was a baby for two seconds! Two! And the next thing I know, she had crawled on top of the fridge with a packet of Froo Froo Fruities snacks and refused to come down. Can you believe that? Ohhh, but she was fine. She doesn’t even remember the bump she took coming down, so it all turned out okay. You’ll turn out okay too, I promise. To lessen the swelling, recommend a fanwork to someone!

[burnyourtrains]

SDV Bachelor/ette Headcanons!!

I was peer pressured by @jessibbb into posting these <3 (also I'm on mobile so if it looks bad no it doesn't.)

ALso divider credits to the lovely @thecutestgrotto and @saradika

Done in alphabetical order, because we're not playing favorites here

Bachelors:

Alex

I feel like he was into band when he was younger and in school, but he got bullied for it, so he switched to gridball instead. He loves gridball, but sometimes he wonders what would have happened if he stuck with the trumpet.

Jess thinks he's short, but I don't think he'd have as much arrogance/confidence that he does in game if he were short. I think he does the hands on top of the doorframe thing.

To me, he was one of those semi-annoying popular guys in high school who would interrupt the class of the younger grade and ask the teacher if she missed him.

Takes skincare seriously (ty Haley)

Helps Evelyn in the kitchen and around the house

Shockingly handy? He's good at fixing things (doesn't want to be a burden on his grandparents, and he knows George feels bad that he can't do maintenance around the house.)

He and Haley have matching friendship bracelets

Elliot

(To the Elliot stans, I'm so sorry, but I cannot stand his character. Initially I was gonna marry him but then he started talking and I just Couldn't. So here's how I thought he was going to be. (I try to keep it somewhat similar to how he is in game but I just,,,,,,,))

Very romantic

Comes on too strong at first, but once he realizes he apologizes and learns how to be one of your really close friends (unless you ever want to be more, obvs)

Loves the drama of a historical romance

Adores Jane Austen

I feel like the game suggests that he isn't very tidy, but in my mind he keeps himself and his space neat and clean. (He might have a depression pit when he's feeling morose or lacking creativity, but he gets it together after a shower or a walk)

He's not egotistical (I also feel the game implies some of this), but he's not entirely humble, either. Very self-assured, but that could possibly be to mask that he really worries about whether or not his writing career will take off.

Harvey

(Jess drew little hearts around my notes for this one lmao)

Actually very sickly as a child, which I think had a huge factor in driving him into medicine.

Likes when the farmer does his nails. It's nice to have someone want to dote on him. (He ends up taking the polish off when he has to work for sanitary purposes, but that just means you can do them again later <3)

Secretly had a piercing at one point, but he was relatively anxious about having it, even though it made him feel good about himself. Possibly anxious because it didn't fit his "image"; he doesn't have it anymore. (He was So crazy in college literally what was he thinking??????) (it was a bellybutton piercing btw)

His guilty pleasure food is ice cream don't tell

Podcast lover. (Mainly medical and aerospace)

Sam

Mans has a mullet. I will not be accepting arguments at this time

He doesn't have a favorite color, but he really loves bright ones

Definitely has ear and possibly facial piercings

Idk where I'm getting this from, it's kind of based solely on vibes, but I feel like he might be colorblind?

Loves having his makeup done

Wears minimal jewelry, but is always wearing at least one ring, whether that's on a chain or on his finger depends on the day.

Sebastian

He gets called emo but I get more punk vibes from him

When you meet him he's just starting on his second sleeve tattoo

He uses candy cigarettes when he's trying to quit smoking, partially because he thinks it's funny, and partially just because he likes the sugar

I think he feels very stuck in the persona the town has given him, so he kind of just gives up after living there for so long on trying to convince people otherwise

Ear and eyebrow piercings, at least. Very willing to accept constructive criticism here.

Probably has the chain belt thing

Rings rings rings

Shane

I feel like he's either very tall, or very short, and I cannot decide which one

Cleans up very nice after he gets sober

Raises Jas more than Marnie does (Concerning bc alcoholism, but I can't stand Marnie so. The lesser of two evils I guess?)

Regularly takes walks to ward off dark thoughts

Keg king back in his college days

Bachelorettes

These are more look-based, since Jess and I were trying to do a redesign situation. The men I was struck with sudden inspiration and clarity for how to flesh out their personalities more, but I'll have to update the character work for the women when the creativity strikes.

Abigail

I kind of get undercut vibes from her

I think she has gages, for sure

Facial piercings but idk what most of them are called. Specifically a lip piercing

She has a small stick and poke that she, Sam, and Seb designed together

The big overlined lips that were popular in 2020 (might still be popular now but I'm no longer chronically online God bless)

Tattoo choker that was popular in the early 2000s

Big shaggy wolfcut

Elevated HotTopic vibes

Emily

Mixed metal jewelry queen

Wears multiple necklaces

Hippie-esque style (they really did her dirty with her game design she looks like s clown but she's so sweet that it's Criminal)

Crystal girly (a given)

Definitely has some sort of altar set up. Idk much about witchcraft so very loosely assigning her as a crystal witch

Really likes incense

Alice Cullen haircut, y'all know the one

Haley

She has such pretty lashes, I just know it

Big yabos

Her nails are always immaculate. Despite thinking her sister is weird, I think Emily is the one who learned how to give her acrylics

Alex is definitely the person she's closest to

I don't really have that many ides for her I'm sorry :(

Leah

Very wispy, ethereal hair (1908s aogg vibes)

Former hairdresser. While she still lived in the city, she went into cosmetology since it had the opportunity to be a creative career, and her partner at the time didn't really support her in her art (I think the partner bit is canon). Ultimately, she came to resent her job, and she left the city for Stardew Valley. I think she still uses the skills and knowledge she acquired when doing her own hair, and occasionally the hair of some of the residents in the valley.

Howl's Moving Castle earrings

Honestly Howl's Moving Castle vibes overall for her style I think

Dresses masc. but in a way that still comes off as feminine, if that makes sense. Think billowy white shirt from the male lead of a period drama

Most likely covered in some sort of art medium, (acrylics, wood shavings, oil paints, etc.), in a charming way, not an unclean way.

Maru

Minimal makeup, if any at all

She has cute little stud earrings she got as a kid (they're stars)

Has an astronomy charm bracelet, but it's only worn on special occasions. I think she'd be wearing it when she shows you the telescope and tries to confess her feelings for the first time.

She's a silver girly

Little baby hairs. Give my girl Maru better hair

Lowkey loves Hello Kitty (idk where this one came from but I feel it)

Penny

Bumper bangs. In general I get very 50s vibes for style

Doesn't think she'll ever leave Stardew Valley, so she doesn't really have any huge aspirations for herself anymore.

She mostly invests herself in teaching Vincent and Jas to the best of her ability.

Would have loved to be a teacher if she were to leave, but she worries about her mother, so she's never left

I know there are some ideas on here that seem insubstantial compared to others, but this is the best I can do currently! I'd love feedback, since I'm relatively new to the fandom and the game, but I hope you enjoyed!!

[rom-e-o]

Belisma/Guinevere watching Emmerich interact with small children as they're out and about in public.

Maybe they're standing in line somewhere and there's a parent in front of them with a toddler and the little tyke is just staring intently at Emmerich and he just gives a little smile and wave. Or maybe makes a funny face. And the toddler just breaks into a grin and giggles in the cutest way.

Maybe they're out doing errands and come across a lost little boy, so scared and crying and not sure where his mum/dad is, so they "go on a side-quest" (lol) to reunite him with Mum/Dad. And Emmerich carries him, first in his arms, then transitioning him up to his shoulders. And he and the boy are chatting the entire time, the child's tears and fear completely forgotten. The little boy laughs in delight and marvels at how high up he is on Emmerich's shoulders.

Maybe they're on a date, getting some ice cream and a little girl starts crying because she dropped her cone on the floor. So Emmerich steps over to Mum/Dad who already looks completely strung out and has a brief exchange before ordering another cone exactly like what the little girl had and gets down to her height to offer it, having a quiet little conversation that makes the little girl smile and giggle as she takes her new ice cream.

Maybe on a stroll they come across some children. One of them is seated on the ground, obviously in pain, holding a wrist or ankle or something and is in obvious distress the others are all freaking out trying to figure out what to do. Here comes SuperEmmerich (or maybe AwesomeEmmrich because Superman is probably Awesomeguy in the au😅) to the rescue sweeping in to ask what happened. The other kids probably scram because they don't want to get in trouble. After discovering the injury isn't very serious just quite painful, Emmerich heals the child, all while speaking soothingly and drying their tears. Then he and Isma/G'iney safely escort the child home.

Maybe they're in a waiting room somewhere and there's a little girl there who is clearly quite bored and getting fussy. Emmerich can't help but start performing some of his prettier magic spells for her entertainment. Before long the tyke is laughing and clapping, completely entertained and demanding further pretty magic: "Again! More! More!"

Every interaction he has with little ones, whatever it is, is just so natural and sincere and gentle and kind. Wifey is just slathering him with tender kisses at the end of the day, praising him and admiring him for his golden heart.

Awww. Okay, firstly, I love this. Also, it gives me a reason to wax poetic about this side of him, haha.

So, we see Emmrich being a nurturing, kind presence, even in the face of calamity. Specifically, helping unite a child with their parent. We see him act that way with little Mila as they search for her father as literal hoards of darkspawn attack.

The Siege of Weißhaupt, where this happens, is a grueling battle. It's an endurance test of waaaaves of enemies.

Your team gets tested.

Yet, even as the team talks about the hopelessness and comes to terms with the fact that this might be their last stand, Emmrich still speaks to Mila calmly and reassuringly. He also asks her good questions and listens to her answers.

He reassures her that her father is okay, and to keep going. He's a calming influence.

And she's reunited with her father. All is well!

So, I can totally see him being a sweet and caring guy that puts kids at ease. He knows that a friendly wave or a kind gesture goes a long way, especially for an innocent soul. He has some experience with those early days with Manfred too - cleaning up messes, helping him walk, etc.

I LOVE him replacing the ice cream cone for the child that dropped theirs ("It's such a simple gesture, but it makes everyone feel better") and him performing simple magic for the child in the waiting room as well ("You learn to never take it for granted. What's mundane to you is extraordinary to another.")

He's such a nice, sweet guy, and very patient. It makes sense why he could rear Manfred the way he does - he very much treats him like his child. He uses a guiding hand and is always patient. If he scolds Manfred, it's pretty gently.

Belisma/Guinevere sees all these instances, at it just exemplifies what they love about him. He's an intelligent, esteemed man of wealth and status, yet he'll stop everything to brighten a child's day. He's never too good for anything, and he's never patronizing or condescending to them either.

"No wonder Manfred is such a fine gentleman already," she says after giving him a long smooch, "Look at his example."

"Oh, you mean today? My dear, nothing I did was admirable. Just being a good samaritan, as we all should."

"I think it was. I think I loved watching you be so gentle and caring with those children ... fatherly, even. You're a good role model."

"F-Fatherly? I don't think ...do you really think so? Maybe?"

"Oh, definitely." <3

Wifey's already imagining him cradling their baby a few years out, and it's the most easy image in the world to conjure.

[angstigone]

«keep up my game» you had muttered to aki before taking the plate of vegetable soup he had slaved onto, and bringing it to the table, where power was comfortably sat with meowy in her lap, waiting to be served.

it took aki a few minutes to realize your 'plan' as he noticed you lay down the plate of soup right in front of power; he thought that you had forgotten that - under no circumstances - power ate vegetables, but he was quick to understand that you remembered, you just had come up with a plan.

«you must have mistaken your rations with my own, dumb human» the pinkhaired fiend commented with her usual crassness, while you retained an almost seraphic serenity.

«no, power, it's your dinner» and stalling the fiend from throwing the plate, you were quick to add «... it's made of a special kind of meat».

power looked like she didn't believe you fully but the fact that she hadn't yet thrown you off was a sign of growth as both aki and denji stared at you from the safe haven of the kitchen counter.

«how dumb does she think power is?» denji simply said albeit he looked onto your efforts quite attentively.

«... is it?» power asked still diffidently but her hand released the plate, clearly not having - for the moment - the intention to throw the plate right in your face «it smells like veggies».

«it doesn't» you were quick to say, although not quick enough to seem suspicious «... it's... a special kind of meat. it does smell like veggie but it's wholly meat».

«meat of what?» power inquired definitely curious.

«duck!» you muttered taking a good luck at the color of the soup «can't you tell from the color? also... duck is a very... esteemed meat. we were lucky to grab some of it at the supermarket!».

that did it, strangely enough, as power's eyes filled with what looked like a deep sense of utter pride and getting up from the low table - almost sending her own plate flying - she declared raising her fist up in the air.

«ahhh, you finally recognized power's true value! and you are rewarding it accordingly!» she then sat down as fast as she had gotten up and pushed her spoon into the soup, with little to no protest at the taste much to denji's and aki's startlement.

they didn't utter anything, worried that power might catch onto and then that'd be a whole mess that neither wished to deal with; still, the pinkhaired fiend quickly finished her whole plate and sent you to get another one praising the taste and insisting that she could feel the blood of the hunted duck.

dinner, hence, fell into a utter bedazzlement as even the usual awkward small talk was avoided, till denji and power moved onto their nightly routine while you and aki went to clean up the dishes.

«how... how did you come up with?» he asked promptly as soon as he regained his ability talk just to make you lightly chuckle.

«I have been observing power and I did realize that she has been lying, most often choosing which foods she might like or not, so I thought that she wouldn't be able to recognize which type of food is which» you explained and aki couldn't help but think that you had put too much thought into this, especially considering that the fiend's health didn't depend onto healthy human habits «... although in all truth, it was something that my mom said about how she convinced me to eat spinach by telling me it was mint ice cream».

«please tell me that you didn't fall into that as power» aki pleaded with a laugh at your offended look.

«I absolutely didn't! I clocked it out at the first taste and required some mint ice cream as compensations» you shot back promptly before joining aki's laugh as well «... still, I thought that it might be easier with soup and meat, especially with the little I gathered... mmh, wonder whether I can use it for something else...».

«we could brainstorm later» aki joked as you took him seriously before realization settled into you «... oh, c'mon, I do have to admit it was ingenious, alright?».

«you don't apprecciate me enough, hayakawa» you turned your back to him, crossing your arms over your chest, obviously pouting your fake displeasure. aki couldn't help but huff, although his heart filled with tenderness and endearment.

there was something downright domestic about the way you bickered with him. with how you cared about denji and power as if they were humans. as if they were your children.

the thought startled aki, as he gently went to hug you from behind, if not to truly ease you to ease his swifly moving mind which pictured a whole other scenario: you were still pouty, with swollen ankles and an heavy belly, blaming him for something that hormones made you feel.

"it's alright, just a few more months, sweetheart" he'd say instead of apologizing for not seeing your brilliant genius.

«you better apprecciate me!».

«I do, sweetling» he said softly, gently kissing the back of your head, as he tried to shun away the thought of you acting this way with children, your children.

you had always agreed that you were better off without children in your professions, neither wanting to leave behind any orphans.

still, it was tickling aki at how well you handled the manchildren that you had been tasked with; it wasn't just forcing them into good habits. it was the way you genuinely cared for those two even though you shouldn't have because they were liabilities.

«mmh, I don't know if I am convinced» but you were smiling, even turned aki can tell yo were smiling and suddenly he thought for a moment of a life where it's your children that you trick into eating vegetables and it brought some pricky feelings to his eyes, not that he'd define them as tears.

no, this isn't a life that he can have.

even with you.

so, he'll have to make this one last.

[jamneuromain]

Wild Child Chapter. 1

Series Summary:

As the granddaughter of the sole Duke in your country, you know that you were going to marry some douche prince, because it is the only way to solidify the grasp the future king has on the Upper House. On the flight home, you come up with a brilliant plan to defy your upcoming matrimony.

Bringing a random man to your grandfather's place, and say you have a boyfriend already.

"Is there anything else I should know about? Before I meet your family?" Ari cocks his head to the side, watching you adjusting your cerulean Valentino dress when you wave your hand dismissively.

"Just say we're in love and help me get out of marrying this D-bag."

Ari Levinson x You

#i didn't know he is my fiance-douchebag-prince

#when i did, it was too late

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome on board Flight CM80072 from London to Ancetol. This is your Captain speaking. My name is…”

The broadcast started as you stuffed your ears with your earbuds. The screeching static along with the horrible noise whenever the captain chewed the mic in his lips and popped every consonant as if he couldn’t speak otherwise.

You should have brought your earplugs.

Or fly your private plane.

Correction: Fly your family’s private plane.

But you guessed they were still mad at you, which was probably the reason why the bodyguard they sent simply handed you an envelope with an airplane ticket inside.

“Would you like to see the menu?” The stewardess asked you with a kind smile, handing you the thick book of menu, “We have foie gras, smoked salmon, or veal rolls for the main course. Of course, you can also choose the vegan meal. All the ingredients are listed below the dishes.”

“I’ll have the veal roll.” You took a sip of the lemon-flavored soda she gave you earlier, “First course - the shrimp, and dessert would be the … ice cream, with extra berry toppings?”

“Excellent choice, Miss Y/L/N.” The stewardess nodded, taking notes of your demands, the impeccable smile still on her lips, “Any drinks?”

The bodyguard to your back coughed. Very loudly. Very spontaneously. As if he would be dead if someone didn’t hand him a glass of water or ship him off to the chemotherapy very soon.

“Cappu…” you changed your mind as soon as you were “reminded” that you were not allowed to drink alcohol, "Screw it, apple cider please.”

“Miss -” The bodyguard in the full black suit tried to warn you, “His Lordship won’t be pleased.”

“His Lordship,” you sniggered, “desperate measure to demonstrate his control over me, huh? Plus, I don’t think I recall our King has issued any announcement on the succession of the title. So, Lord him all you like. Pathetic man. I’m not respecting someone who participated perhaps even less than a minute in creating me.” You muttered the last few words under your breath.

You could practically imagine what “His Lordship” would do when he hears the report from the bodyguard, word for word.

He might throw some crystal ornaments to the wall, shouting at the top of his lungs, as if that would reinforce his authority.

A man to your right chuckled. Like you, he was just approached by the stewardess regarding his meal choice, now sipping scotch on the rocks. You glared at him. He looks like a man in his 30s. Terribly well dressed. The suit fitted his tailoring right up to his cufflinks. Golden cufflinks, you might add. White shirt without a tie. Long hair with a full-grown beard.

“Sorry, can’t help but overhear.” He raised his hands and folded them on his knees, “I’m Guy. Guy Thomas.”

“Mr. Thomas,” you shared your given name with him, but left out your family name, offering to shake his hand.

“Guy.” He stressed, “You’re from Ancetol?”

You were born in the outskirts of Ancetol, the capital of your home country, Ballenia, one of the few countries that are still ruled by a monarch. Your mother was relieved that you were blessed with a quick birth. But your father wanted nothing more than a boy. A boy that could take the family title and carry the family honor. Probably why he didn’t make an appearance until the second day of your birth. Reluctantly. You might add.

You spent the next couple of years of your life in a small town in Ballenia, growing up with your mother who thought innocently that your father would miraculously love you and accept you both as family.

You stopped believing in “a happy marriage” a long time ago. No. You stopped believing in “marriage”. And the fairy tales. And the lovely stories that told you one day, Prince Charming would come to rescue you riding his big white horse and ask you to be his wife, and some happily ever after bullshit.

No.

The reality was, fairly close to the story of your family, where the “Cinderella”, your mother, was abandoned by the prince, who is your father, and he had a couple of mistresses when Cinderella was only allowed to be presented during formal circumstances.

Ah yes, after all, a divorce would destroy the reputation of His Lordship. Making them look bad if they kick a civilian woman out of the door. The press would go frenzy about it, spreading the news that the “Cinderella” had been divorced by the cold-hearted heir of the Duke.

Luckily, or, unlucky for your father, it was your grandfather who carried the Duke title. Your grandfather who was equally displeased with you, a useless girl. Your grandfather, who passed away quite recently. Three days ago.

Hence, your urgent return. And some pretenses for the reputation of your family.

So, sunglasses it is then. During the funeral. With a white handkerchief. No one will see your dry eyes incapable of producing tears, not for that old bastard anyway. You thought to yourself, eyeing the huge bulk of a man next to you.

Did you forget to mention that the late Duke did the same trick as your father? Marrying a civilian woman and keeping a dozen mistresses in the same mansion they live in?

“You sound local.” You commented on the way he speaks English, “Are you from Ancetol as well?”

“Aww, what gave it away?” The man switched to fluent Ballenian, the language you haven’t heard of for years, and asked you, sounding sincere, “Is it the ‘r’? I always mess up the ‘r’.”

“Your name doesn’t sound local though,” you buckled your seatbelt as the stewardess stepped close to inform you the plane was ready to depart, lowering your eyes to fumble with the metal link, “Guy Thomas. Very American.”

Ari, no, Guy, pushed a little smile on his lips.

Of course, this name sounded American. You would freak out if he told you his true name.

“My mother is American and my father is Ballenian.” Which was 75% true because his mother was half American. The other half Danish.

He went by “Guy Thomas” when he was having fun among people and didn’t want to spoil everything by announcing he was Ari. The fucking prince of Ballenia.

Total mood killer.

“Are you here for business or pleasure?” You joked, “Or visiting your family?”

“Mostly business.” Ari fabricated a lie out of nowhere, “I work as a manager of my family business.” Technically that’s not a lie. He even slipped in some details for credibility.

Family business, the kingdom.

Manager, well sort of, since his dad owned the country.

“And I’m back in Ballenia to secure a deal.”

You lacked interest in business and all that, waving your hand as if dismissal, but allowing the stewardess to come and take away the food and drink in front of you, “hard to do business nowadays, especially when the Minister of Foreign Trade is a jackass.”

“You speak as if you know him.”

“Please, he’s been in that position for fifteen years.” You rolled your eyes.

The minister tried to get you to marry his hideous, lazy, pig-like son who knows nothing more than eating, smoking, and partying. Promising your father to “sweeten the deal” by favoring the company your mother owned but your father controlled.

Your father really would have said yes if it weren’t for the deal years ago, promising you to another man already. A man more powerful than the minister or his son will ever be.

“Of course, he is a jackass. If not now, then somewhere in his 15 years of gripping the foreign trade.” But you were not telling a total stranger about you being promised around like a Ming-Dynasty Vase. “Just look at the new announcement he made with the U.S. What deal did he make? None! Claiming that ‘further efforts are needed’. Further my ass. The Ambassador from the States could barely keep the smile on his face for Christ’s sake.”

Ari took a mental note to look into this “jackass” Minister.

“What about you?” He asked, “Visiting your family? Plan on staying here long?”

You pursed your lips on hearing the question.

Visit your family? How about dead family?

You were here to attend your grandfather, the late Duke’s funeral.

Staying long?

You wouldn’t curse yourself like that.

The longer you stay, the more probable your father and your mother will talk you into marriage.

You loved your mother, but for Christ’s sake, “I hope not.”

Ari didn’t respond to your reply. He simply hummed, making you confused about whether he agreed with you or not.

The plane did not wait for a minute more before departing into the air. A short while of gravity shift brought you 30,000 feet up in the sky. You pulled down the blind as the annoying sunlight burned your eyes, getting up for a bit more leg room and heading to the bathroom.

In the blink of an eye, a violent turbulence threw you off your own feet.

The soft ring of the safety belt sign turned the orange light on, while you slowly came to your senses that you weren’t embraced by the ground, but rather a firm body wrapping around you. One arm on your back, holding your upper body, another hung – rather awkwardly – in the air. You were sitting on his thick thighs sideways. Your ankle hurting. You were pretty much sure you twisted it with your damn heels.

“Miss Y/L/N!” The bodyguard hurried towards you, completely disregarding the tremble of the plane, rushing to your side. “Miss, I need you to try and stand up.” He held out an arm, leaning towards you to help you up.

Seeing him trying to assess how hurt your ankle was, you were very touched that he was concerned and reacted quickly. Maybe a small pay rise for him if you get back to your home?

Your bodyguard sighs, shaking his head with a disapproving look, “If this is your way of trying to escape the deal, his lordship won’t be pleased.”

Oh yes, the deal. The deal that simply packed you like a FedEx item and threw you to the palace door. The deal that promised you to the prince, right after you were born. The deal that you were told by your parents to honor for as long as you can remember. The deal lurking in the corner and bit you in the ass whenever you had done something to displease your father, reminding you over and over again that the only reason that you were alive was the fucking deal.

Apparently, your father had left out a most important piece of detail when instructing this bodyguard to “guard” you from running away.

You hardly ever do as you’re told.

“I think my ankle is broken.” You said dryly, pointing at your feet, not even trying to pretend that you can convince no one with your bland facial expression, “Can’t get up.”

Ari bit his lips so that he wouldn’t laugh.

You were sure as hell an interesting soul.

If he had any doubt or concerns regarding marrying you, a complete stranger in a matter of weeks, he now had none.

He thought you were the kind of girl who was a black sheep in the family, a wild child, with tattoos on your eyeballs or something. But you were nothing like his imagination.

Wild? Sure.

Black sheep? Compared to your father, the to-be-Duke, who seemed more like what the term was describing.

Ari raised his eyebrows, “Although I wouldn’t oppose you sitting on my thighs,” he nodded towards the stewardess who lurked behind the thin veil of curtain, “I’m afraid she would be unable to do her job properly if this continues.”

You clenched your jaw. Ignoring the extended hand from your bodyguard, you stood up, feeling instantly a sharp pain stinging your bones.

Bathroom was long forgotten, not that you have a chance to reach there on your own, you slumped down the seat and made sure you pushed the seat back until you could almost lie down like on a gurney. Lifting the hurting ankle on your other ankle, you closed your eyes.

Fuck his lordship.

The pain throbbing on your ankle. Your body dipped in both the coolness of the AC and the heat from your spine and the back of your head.

The few hours on the plane became more and more unbearable.

The veal roll didn’t lift your spirit in any way when it was brought to you.

The meat itself was fine. Only that it tasted like wax to you. You let out a long exhale as you outstretched your leg to ease the stress. Finishing the meal barely, you pushed the plate away, not even looking at the cider that you were thrilled to piss your father off with, and asked the stewardess for some paper. Empty sheets for writing.

She was clearly dumb-founded by your request, but hurried to carry your idea out.

You thanked her when she brought you some sheets, torn from some notepad as there were jigsaw razor edges on the side of the paper.

If the pain and the fact that every second you were closer to Ballenia was bothering you, you only needed something more bothering to take your mind off.

Ari narrowed his eyes when he cast a glimpse that you pulled out a pen from your bag from the overhead compartment and started writing on the empty sheets of paper.

Call him nosey but he wanted to know what you were writing.

Too inconvenient for him, your letters scribbled too small for his eyes to see. Occasional glimpses couldn’t help him read your writing. Nor that the content on your phone was clear enough for him to read either.

He did know that should be a text of some kind.

What text though? That was the real question.

…not some kind of text that could curse the royal family of the Ballenia, right?

Ari was almost amused by his own thoughts, before a shiver ran down his body and stuck an idea in his mind that this was totally and perfectly possible.

…you wouldn’t, would you?

Hard to tell. You weren’t exactly obeying the orders to marry him. Delaying it a couple of times in the past three years. And now, hearing that you had just called a minister “asshole” … or was it “butt ass” (?), anyway, something about ass, behind his back, and that you could mull a long face over your own bodyguard? Ari couldn’t figure out your temper and your actions all of a sudden.

The adjectives, that your father and his father used when they were talking about you, didn’t even come close to you.

“Kind” “Warm” “Considerate” “Perfect Princess”.

“Exceptional”. Maybe this was the right word.

Definitely different and strong-minded.

He could almost imagine the changes you would bring to his family and the kingdom.

He could discuss politics with you. You had your own thoughts and ideas, which was a good sign. Talk about foreign policies. Speaking of, he should really have someone fetch your dissertation from your university to understand where lies your interests. He’d allow gossip on the table too, if that’s what you like.

Ari hated gossip.

And there he was, imagining the future with you, before you were willing to marry him.

“If you want the book, I can lend it to you.” Your voice snapped him out of his fantasies. You had stopped scribing and rubbing your knuckles with your other hand. Pursing your lips together, you had, obviously, found out that he had his eyes glued to you.

“I’m sorry?”

“The History and Nature of International Relations.” You shrugged, twirling your wrist and your shoulder for writing too long, “I gotta warn you though, it’s pretty boring.”

Ari knew the correct answer to his question, but he asked either way, “You are studying it?”

“No. Yes. Hmpf,” You pouted at your change of words, “I did. I was. I was studying International Relations.” Something blipped in your mind, “Did you know this book?”

Ari smiled, “Took a course in International Relations years ago. I’m surprised they are still using it as an example of a textbook – where did you study?”

“NYU.” That’s a plain fat lie. You had a friend studying at NYU, but you were not planning on giving all your personal information away to a complete stranger, “You?”

Ari cocked his eyebrows. You were studying in Cambridge. He read that from your file.

“University of Ancetol.” Because studying there demonstrated the confidence of the Royal family in their country’s educational system. From there, the lies weaved themselves from his lips, “Got an undergrad degree and started to take over the family business. I visited New York last year,” along with his father, the King, but they travelled as quietly as they could, initiating a state visit without disturbing the press, “I miss school, now that I’m thinking of it.” Ari sighed deeply, “Wanted to get a grad degree but work’s too busy.”

“A manager in your family business?” You teased him light-heartedly, “Surely you can spare the time and study for a grad degree.”

Ari chose to evade this question. Reaching for his suit pocket, he fished out a business card with his name (Guy Thomas) and phone number on it, handing it to you, “Grad school doesn’t exactly tolerate me flying all over the world for … my family business.” He pushed his soft brown hair behind his ears, his eyes sparkling with a hint of joy that he had successfully fooled you, “Jewelry, my specialty. Diamonds, pearls, gemstones … call me if you need anything.”

“Oh, and she got her Master’s degree two months ago.” Ari casually dropped this to his parents in the middle of having dinner, he almost felt proud of his future wife, “Majoring in Political Science and International Relations. With a merit… no, distinction. The top 10% of her class.”

“We want a princess, not a college professor.” His father looked rather disappointed, “We were promised a princess.”

Ari didn’t understand.

If it were to be a marriage without love, he’d rather his spouse would be clever than bimbos who need help spelling “distinction”. Clever would mean he has a handful to deal with, yes, but what’s the fun in talking with someone who only cares about mani-pedi and the latest fashion magazines when he would be running the country?

Why wouldn’t they want someone smart as his wife?

“Your father is right, Ari,” his mother, Queen Olivia, reminded him with a softer tone, “we don’t need someone academically outstanding. We only want her to care for your home, you, and your future children.” She then turned to Ari’s father, King Victor, with blame framing her tone, “Told you should’ve just kept her with us when she was born. I knew Y/L/Ns were incompetent in raising our son’s future wife.”

Ari nearly spat out his food, “HOUSEWIFE?” Earning the “Shhh” from the Queen, he ignored the palace rules and the rules of being a prince altogether, “You want a HOUSEWIFE as the future queen?”

“For the moment.” Olivia waved her hand as if all this was not important, “Only temporal. After you get acquainted with the Upper House, you could divorce her and we’ll find you a proper wife.”

Taglist: @irishhappiness @patzammit

Find the Wild Child Masterlist here 👈

Questions? Comments? Requests? 👉Send them to my inbox 👂

[wordsvomit101]

This will be a short one, with credits to Hikifans (@shyanimeboi), and here is the link: https://twitter.com/shyanimeboi/status/1778300826995335505

I will use metaphors this, a lot of metaphors for the H-scenes if you're curious. Hopefully it Bible friendly.

Ok here we go

I could never be an MC, like I cannot be a player, I do not have the rizz to think of another man while rubbing another dude's abs like this

Well MC isn't wrong, I barely see his abs in his S card. The guy looks broad but I thought he wore baggy clothes the longer I look at him.

So Ppyong slipped into MC's clothes and touched her soft stomach and apparently, it might be MC's weak spot causing her huha be quaking and ya'll:

It might seem normal but think it is the regular Ppyong saying it. MC is stronger than me cause I would already be laughing at the images in my head

I'm so gonna draw this, but it gonna be Minhyeok wearing what he wears in my other fics-

Are we fighting???

"Was always careful with you"... in what??? In WHAT????

... I guess the reason why I like this ship so much is how it could work. It's weird, but it's not as weird as MC's romances. They literally felt like that side couple or ship in drama media that I often like more than the main couple. I'm also a sucker for the friends-to-lovers trope

WOAH OK- Sir you spend too much time with Sitri-

Wait- Hold up- MC has rizz- OMG they have rizz

YO she taco-ed her legs around his thighs and holding his waist and saying all this? Absurd- I could never- The girl got game

You don't have to call me out like that you know?

Idk why but it's kind of wholesome, his smile is so cute that it is hard to focus on the tension. Like that smile is a puppy smile but his hands do be parting MC's rear like Moses parting the Red Sea like- Bro is giving her booty a rubdown treatment

It can be somewhat flattering and comedic in fiction but it would be scary irl, but that's just me

I-🧍- Ihsbhjdabdsjbd- What? What do you mean by that?? *Shaking him on the shoulders* Ayo what do you mean by that??????

I need to calm tf down cause either I'm misreading and misunderstanding his words or the translation sucks but it could mean A FEW THINGS HERE SIR *(¬¬)🙄 bombastic,side eye(¬¬")(◔_◔)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)¬‿¬(ಡ᎔ಡ)( ͡º ꒳ ͡º)* and one of them is how you definitely want to be sandwiched between them-

Ok now this is the cringy smack metaphors territory, don't say I didn't warn you:

Ok so when I said his hands are kneading her double cheeks like dough I mean it, like he could rip both her pants and bum open right there-

Then he went on to ask if Minhyeok had ever seen her making her applesaucy face before and they were sweating because of their sitting marathon session with their hands and Ppyong dead ass told MC to lick his sweat to see if it was the same as Minhyeok.

And MC does what MC does, it doesn't matter if she doesn't know what Minhyeok tastes like, she sucks on Ppyong's face like he is the last ice cream cone in flaming summer. As if his face is a soft serve with zero net carbs, as if he is cannoli gelato, and her tongue is all over it, or in her words "like a dog that stuck his nose in a bowl as soon as the rein is released"

It tastes salty mixing with the sweet scent of flesh if you're wondering and she salivating all over his face. Going full Beelzebub on his face like she is slurping on the finest meal of her life. Hey at least, Ppyong enjoys it👍

Then when Ppyong asked if Minhyeok ever saw her this parched and MC recalled how Minhyeok always came into his room on time after she was done petting the cat, finding Nemo, sexy DIY, etc... you get the gist. MC speculated that Minhyeok was definitely outside waiting for her to be done like a peeping tom, you know, creeper behavior <3/jk

The thought makes MC dripping like a faucet, overflowing like a dam. Then they are back in their hands on investigating shenanigans and we get to the part where it would get the original poster banned on YouTube if they posted there. I also just gonna leave these here, MC is a player istg:

OK that's enough smut for this week bye-

[demonbanisher]

Psssttt @impishtubist a gift for you based off of this

Newest Additions

Sirius walks into the kitchen to find Harry sitting in front of the oven with rapt attention.

“What are you doing kiddo?”

Harry looks up at him with watery eyes and sniffles as he wipes snot from his nose. “They needed to be warm.”

Sirius frowns and walks closer to discover that the oven is indeed on. He is a little bit terrified that Harry somehow knows how to use the oven at the age of five but he files that away for a parental breakdown at a later time.

“Who’s cold sweetheart?”

Harry’s eyes go back to the oven and Sirius steps close to tug the oven door open and proceeds to curse, trip over his own feet, and land squarely on his ass in response to what he sees.

He takes a deep breath to level the fear out of his voice. “Harry, darling, can you please tell me why there is a pile of baby snakes on a cookie sheet in the oven?”

“They were cold.”

“So you put them in the oven.”

“The oven makes things hot.”

“The oven cooks things darling.”

Harry shook his head. “They told me they’d let me know if it got too hot. I put it on reallllly low.”

He looks between his godson and the now ajar door of the oven. “Hazza, can you understand the snakes?”

Harry chews on his lower lip. “Don’t be mad. Auntie Petunia didn’t like snakes.”

Sirius also does not like snakes but he sure as hell isn’t going to make his godson cry over it. “Not mad. I just want to understand. Can you hear them?”

Harry nods nervously.

Okay. Add parseltongue to the list of parenting hurdles to tackle.

“Harry that’s very sweet of you to bring them in to keep them warm, but we need to put them back outside. I’m sure their parents are looking for them.”

Harry’s lower lip trembles and his eyes start to water. “They can’t. They’re like me.”

“What do you - oh.”

“Someone took their mom in as a pet but then got mad when she had eggs and threw them out. Their mommy got hurted.”

Sirius takes a deep breath processing that he can’t tell his godson that he has to put the orphaned snakes back outside without making him afraid that Sirius and Remus will one day leave him outside too.

“Do you know what kind of home they’d like?”

Harry beams. “Sand. They like when it’s warm so they can sleep like me with my blankies.”

“Okay. Let’s find somewhere safe to put them while we go to the pet store.”

“You mean I can keep them?”

“Of course kiddo.”

Harry promptly tackles his godfather in a hug. They walk down the street to the pet store and Sirius can see Bathlida smirking at him before they even get up to the counter.

“Brought in another stray?”

“This one was all Harry.”

“They’re snakes!” Harry proclaims excitedly.

Bathilda laughs as she rings things through. “Live mice come in on Tuesdays.”

“Live mice? Ah, right.”

“Might want to pick up a book on snakes while you’re out.”

“It’s okay,” Harry tells her struggling to pick up the big bag of sand. “I can talk to them so I’ll know if they’re sad.”

Bathilda raises one eyebrow at Sirius who shrugs in a way he hopes says ‘kids, huh?’

When Remus gets home later that evening Harry immediately grabs him by the hand and drags him to his room to introduce him to all his new snake friends. Slinky, Worm, George, Edwin, Slither, Slime, and Bartholomew the Third. He doesn’t ask where the other two Bartholomews went.

Bedtime is a struggle as Harry is too excited about his new friends to go to bed. It takes the promise of ice cream for breakfast to finally get him to sleep.

“So,” Remus says as he steps around the pile of dogs slumbering on the floor to crawl into bed, “snakes huh? How bad did you scream?”

“Only once at the initial shock but Remus we’re going to have to feed them live mice and watch their jaws do that thing.” He shuddered.

Remus chuckled. “Don’t worry love I’ll protect you for the big scawy snakes.”

“I hate you.”

Sirius climbs in on the other side and pretends to put up a fight as Remus cuddles into his side.

“You’re a big softie you know.”

“I know, but I haven’t seen him that happy in so long. How could I say no?”

“Mhm,” Remus mumbled. “I think the ten dogs, three cats, six bunnies, and two kneazles proved your inability to say no a long time ago. Not to mention the Niffler and hippogryph in our backyard.”

“Buckbeak and Swiper are bonded. I couldn’t possibly separate them.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the creak of the door as a small child entered their room.

“Everything okay Harry?”

“I opened the cage to give the snakes a kiss goodnight and now I can’t find Slither.”

Sirius was sitting bolt upright on the bed in a moment, turning the lamp on, and throwing the covers off the bed.

Harry’s little face scrunched up in confusion. “What’s wrong with Padfoot?”

“Nothing,” Remus says, putting his slippers on. “He just loves you too much. Come on, I’ll help you find your snake.”

“Slither.”

“I’ll help you find Slither.”