#she already had her 'perfect world' with him đŸ„č❀
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lightaflametoburnmethrough · 10 months ago
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(💖) 😄 😊 (💕)
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lostaurorax · 2 years ago
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could you maybe do for the mini series where the pregnant reader is at Travis’ game and we reveal to his teammates and the whole world they are having a child?? also keep it up! i love your imagines so much! i find myself coming back and rereading!❀
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picture perfect - travis kelce.
summary | the chiefs win the super bowl making it the perfect opportunity to tell the world and travis’s teammates the news
warnings | mentions of morning sickness + pregnancy
authors note | hi nonnies!!!!! hope you like this!!! thank y sm for the kind words đŸ„č you motivate me to keep writing! lmk what you think and if u have any requests :)
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it was the day of super bowl 57. the kansas city chiefs were playing the philadelphia eagles.
you were about 4 months pregnant and still had only told your close family and very few friends just till you passed your third month. you and travis had been planning on telling the guys today after the game no matter who won.
“oh my gosh hi y/n!!!!!” brittany said to you with open arms, as you walked into to locker room with travis following suit. you went up to brittany and travis went to talk to patrick and a few of his other teammates.
you hadn’t seen brit for a while because due to your pregnancy and the sickness that came with it, you had to skip out on many games in person. although you always supported from home, you had missed experiencing them in person.
“hi, brit! aw, i missed you so much!!” you said as you hugged her back.
“oh, girl i missed you more!! how are you?” she said smiling at you as she leaned down to pick up sterling who had been trying to get her mom's attention
“im good hun! how are you guys? my god, she’s getting so big! hi ster!!” you said as you smiled at the two-year-old in her arms as she smiled back at you.
“oh, we’re good! ugh i know they grow so fast!! wait till you see bronze he’s so big already!!” she said with a frown on her face
“i can just imagine! they’re both so cute though!!” you said as sterling tried reaching for you causing you to put your arms out and take her.
“aw did you miss auntie y/n?” brittany said as she pulled out her phone to take pictures of you two.
“oh wow look at these little ladies!” travis said as he and patrick walked toward the three of you
“wow y/n you look like a natural.” patrick said as he stood on brittany’s side with his arm around her waist.
“she’s gonna be a great mom one day!” trav said as he smiled down knowingly at you and you looked up at him with a smirk on your face
“oh she definitely will be!!!” brittany said as she took sterling back from you as she was starting to get fussy
“alright guys let’s go! ladies clear out!” said coach reid
“good luck baby. we love you.” you said as you leaned up to kiss travis and give him a hug
“i love you baby.” he said as he pulled away from the hug and gently brushed his hand over your stomach.
as you walked out of the locker room you turned back to blow him another kiss and wave goodbye.
you and the rest of the girls made your way up to your designated lounge and got settled in.
“y/n you are literally glowing!! have you been doing something new?” one of the girls had said to you as you were mid-conversation with brittany
“aw thank you! no i haven’t done anything different lately..” you said with a nervous laugh
“wow now that you mention it you do have a glow to you
” britt said as she examined your features with a confused face
“hm i don’t know what it could be
” you said as you nonchalantly shrugged and took a sip of your drink
but brittany just became 100% more suspicious. honestly, you had wanted her to be one of the first people you told but travis wanted to tell the whole team together so you obliged with his wishes.
she has been pregnant twice so she thinks she would be pretty good at detecting it in somebody else. she noticed the glow, and how you had been eating tons of junk but that honestly didn’t faze her much. what threw her off was your outfit she didn’t think much about it until now. you were wearing an overly large hoodie with travis’s jersey number and said “mrs kelce” on the back. she looked down toward your stomach and noticed that the hoodie wasn’t as oversized as it should’ve been. she kept quiet about her suspicions though not wanting to be wrong.
the chiefs had beaten the eagles 38-35 and everyone was ecstatic. you and the rest of the girls were all making your way to the field to find your husbands.
as you walked through the large crowd of reporters, families, players, and interviewers your eyes were finally met with the ones you had been looking for.
with a large smile on your face, you ran to your husband.
“good job baby!!!! i’m so proud of you.” you said with a huge smile on your face as you jumped into his open arms and placed multiple kisses on his face.
“thank you, my love. you know i had to do it for my girls.” he said as he smiled down at you and you smiled back leaning up to kiss him.
“i’m so beyond proud of you travy. my super bowl champ!” you said as you smiled at him with tears in your eyes as he shared the same expression so happy with how far you both had come.
after many interviews and hugs, you and travis made your way up to the big platform where many of his teammates were already on.
“you ready?” he said as he looked down at you making sure you were certain.
“yeah definitely. i think britt is getting a little too suspicious and she’s going to tell everyone before i get too.” you said as you laughed
“oh she definitely would.” travis said as he laughed and rolled his eyes walking closer to the front of the platform.
as he was greeted by his coach and fellow teammates he grabbed hold of the trophy in his hands making sure you were right by his side.
as terry bradshaw called travis to join his side he did. he asked him many questions about the game and how well he had played.
“now i see you’ve got your wife y/n here next to you is that correct?” terry said as he smiled at you
“yes this is my beautiful wonderful wife y/n!” travis said as he kissed your forehead
“she’s got to be a big part of your motivation for this game right? i mean it must feel great to just go home to her and be a super bowl winner!” terry said as he smiled at travis
“she is the reason i do this. if it wasn’t for her i wouldn’t be here right now
actually she isn’t the only reason i do this as of lately.” travis said a shy smile on his face as your heart rate raced.
“oh really? what’s your new reason?” terry said curiously
“well y/n is currently carrying our baby girl who is definitely the newest reason to why i do this!!” travis said as he rested his hand atop your stomach and you both smiled wide.
“wow, congratulations buddy! baby kelce coming to the world soon everyone!!” terry said as he patted travis on the back and he was immediately bombarded with hugs and congratulations from his teammates.
“oh, y/n!!!!! i knew it!!!!! oh my gosh i’m so happy!!!” brittany said as she found you and pulled you into a hug
“thank you brit!! i wanted to tell you at the beginning but travis felt it was special if we told everyone today!” you said as you smiled at her
“oh that’s fine i’m just so happy!! sterling your gonna have a little friend soon!” she said to the sleepy toddler in her arms as you smiled at her.
“congrats y/n!” patrick said as he came over with travis to give you a hug
“thanks pat!” you said as you hugged hun back
many of the other guys and girls congratulated you and you felt nothing but happiness radiating in the air.
you and travis were finally home after a very long night.
“i hope you know how proud i am
” you said to him as his head rested on your chest listening to your heartbeat as his hand found your stomach and rubbed circles on it
“i know baby. i don’t know what i would genuinely do without you
.” he said as he kissed your chin
“did you like how we told everyone? it went to your liking..?” you said as your fingers ran through his buzzed scalp
“are you kidding? it couldn’t have been more perfect babe.” he said as he sat up slightly to look at your face
“i’m just glad your happy.” you said smiling at him
“couldn’t be happier
” he said as he kissed your lips gently and then returned his head to its previous spot. as he slowly drifted to sleep he couldn’t help the smile on his face. he had won his second super bowl with the same girl still on his arm and now bringing a baby into this world. what more could he ask for?
he had won his second super bowl with the same girl still on his arm and now bringing a baby into this world. what more could he ask for?
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agi-ppangx · 1 year ago
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hello, hello, we meet again for a new idea of a ff. (atp I think I deserve an emoji or smth, so you can know it's me bcs get used to me giving you ideas. you write too beautifully to not have requests, I'm sorry. P.S.: js recommended you to a few friends and to my girlfriend and they all congratulated your skills of writing!💕)
anyway, what do you feel about an enemies to lovers trope with lee know? reader's a trainee (dancing is her speciality) and she is the first one to break the trainee record of being the fastest trainee to learn the basic JYP entertainment moves in 4 weeks, which she was very proud of. This until a new trainee comes, Lee minho, who learns the moves in 2 weeks, breaking reader's record. This gets reader annoyed and works even harder to prove the people around that she is a better dancer than him. They never talk, only rarely mocking each other when the other one wasn't around.
Then, it comes the Survival Show (im sorry - not really - but im changing the shows's rules. there will be two teams, FEMALE 2TEAM - made with Yeji, Yuna, Chaeryeong, Ryujin, Somi and reader - and MALE 2TEAM - we already know the contestants for this team- which will create then a group of people who didn't get eliminated. the elimination happens every episode, two people leaving) where the two of them have to work together in order to create the perfect balance for the choreography between the two teams. That's how they start getting along better and actually realize that they could be friends. They still had arguments but never something too big. When it was time for the elimination in episode 4, minho, reader and yuna were om the verge of elimination. However, only reader didn't get eliminated. Tears in everyone's eyes as minho and Yuna leave the set, but reader soon understands that it was minho's place to be in the boy group. She talks to JYP about being a bad idea the fact that it will be a mix group and that she prefers not to be involved in such a drama, in order to get minho back in the team. she succeeds and runs to minho, telling him the situation. (the last few sentences, make it soft like- fluffy? idk??)
~ the jeongin ff anon
💭the right thing
pairing: lee minho x fem!reader
an: im really for the wait but the fic is finally here !! i hope you'll be satisfied with it❀ also thank you so so much for recommending my blog, it means the world to međŸ„č and yes, you do deserve an emoji !! please let me know which one you choose<3
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“our dancing queen~” you heard ryujin’s voice which interrupted your conversation with yuna. you looked up at her, curious what was that about. “i have bad news for you,” she added, sitting next to you. you raised your eyebrow - bad news? what kind of bad news? “someone broke your record, yn.”
you weren’t mad at all. were you mad? no, no, you weren’t. it’s okay, it’s just a stupid record. it’s nothing important. it’s okay. it’s not like it was something you’d worked hard your whole life. no. no, it’s fine. you were completely fine- “yn, put the knife down,” yuna said firmly, looking at your dissociated figure. “put it down, did you hear me? you have this weird absent expression on your face and it looks scary.” you slowly put the knife in the sink, sighing loudly, and leaned your hands on the counter. you felt yuna’s arms wrap around you from behind, gently placing her chin on your shoulder. “you know it means absolutely nothing, right? you'll always be our dancing queen,” she whispered, trying to cheer you up a little bit. did it work? no, no it didn’t, but you knew you couldn’t sulk for the rest of your life, so you just nodded weakly and proceeded with your daily routine, trying to forget about everything. after all, you had to prepare for the showcase and you didn’t have time to worry about some random dude you’ll forget in a month anyway.
your next practice was intense to say the least. It all started with just yuna, yeji and you, but then some other trainees decided to join you and after some time almost the whole practice room was filled with people. and among those people was lee minho, dancing at the front next to you. his presence was making you nervous, but motivated you as well. you tried your best for hours, sweat (and some tears) were making its way down your face, muscles hurting and head spinning, but you didn’t slow down. minho noticed your state in the mirror and mumbled something under his nose, smirking, but you didn’t catch it. so, you stopped the dancing and took a step in his direction. “you wanna repeat that?” you asked, your cold piercing gaze was trying to burn holes in his head. but he just looked at you and shook his head. “i don’t know what you’re talking about. go back to practising,” he responded, visibly happy with your annoyance. “you definitely need it more than i do,” he added with an evil smile, much quieter, but that you managed to catch. you scoffed at his words, amused by his exaggerated self-confidence and decided to try ignoring him for the rest of the practice. you had to prove something, not to get into stupid fights with minho.
“you need it more than i do,” you said in a mocking tone when you decided to take a break from practising. you were currently sitting in a convenience store with the girls, fumbling with your noodles and losing your appetite just thinking about minho. you were furious. “who does he think he is, huh?” you rambled on and on, your head hurting from all the negative emotions that were building up inside you. “yn, i love you, but i think you care a bit too much,” chaeryeong said softly, taking a sip of her drink. you looked at her and raised your eyebrow. she noticed your not-so-friendly gaze and spoke again. “don't get me wrong, but it really doesn't matter that he beat the record. there are so many other people who are great dancers without breaking the record, it's just a formality.” you nodded weakly at her words. she was right. of course it didn't matter. “besides,” ryujin started with a mouthful of ramen. “you still can show you're better by debuting sooner than him,” she continued and went straight back to eating. she was also right. the only way to show you were better than him was debuting and that was your goal.
“a mixed group?” you huffed after the showcase was done. you were still in your stage outfit, catching your breath after an exhausting performance. JYP surprised you all, deciding to change the rules a bit and create a mixed group instead of choosing one of your teams to debut. it wouldn’t be anything bad, but since minho was a part of the male group, to say you were mad was an understatement. “yn, look at the positives - we might be able to finally debut. you’ve been here for so long already, you should be celebrating,” yeji said firmly and the rest of the girls nodded with approval. “i am happy, of course i am. and i'm gonna celebrate. i just don’t feel too fancy about the fact that i might end up in one group with lee minho,” you exhaled loudly, sounding more and more defeated with each word. “i mean, nothing’s sure for now. lots of us are gonna be eliminated, so maybe he’ll be one of those people?” ryujin suggested and earned a slap on her arm from yeji. “stop the negativity, no one’s eliminated yet. let’s just go eat something and don’t think about anyone else other than ourselves,” yeji exclaimed, hyping you all up and you decided to drop the topic for the night and enjoy your little success, knowing that there was just gonna be harder with each day.
“no, no, i'm not doing this,” you whined loudly, falling on your bed late at night. your body was aching from the whole day of practising and recording a song JYP asked you to create with the male group. he assigned the composing to chan, changbin and han, while the people who were responsible for choreography were you and minho. and to no one's surprise you weren't happy about this. but you had nothing to say since it was JYP's decision - you had to respect it.
that's how you ended up in the boys' dorm, alone with minho. it was awkward, to say the least. you didn't know how to behave and since minho hadn't really said anything else than “come in” and “you wanna drink something?”you just stood there in silence and looked around a little. the rest of the boys either went to eat or stayed at the company to practise, so it was really quiet there. “chan sent me the finished song,” he finally spoke, his voice soft and steady. you nodded and asked him to play it to you so you could think about the choreography a bit. you closed your eyes when the song started playing and listened intently, paying close attention to certain parts of the chorus. when the song was done, you opened your eyes and noticed that minho was staring at you. you raised your eyebrow and he cleared his throat, converting his gaze at his phone. “so, um
 do you have any ideas where we should start?” he asked faintly and you started to share your concept with him.
that's how your little cooperation started. your first choreography was met with a huge enthusiasm from both teams as well as JYP himself. you did well and because of that minho and you were officially in charge of creating a perfect balance in choreographies between both teams. you weren't as mad as before, because you actually kind of enjoyed working with minho - he had different experiences with dancing and therefore he was able to share his unique ideas with you. it wasn't too easy though, because you both had strong characters and you struggled to come to a compromise sometimes, but regardless of your small disagreements you warmed up to him and felt this weird urge to spend more time with him. what was happening to you?
that's why, when episode 4 came and you two were on the verge of elimination alongside yuna, you felt as if your world was going to collapse. you struggled to breathe standing in front of JYP. he had this serious expression and was looking at the three of you. “yn and minho,” you heard his voice and stiffened, your heart speeding and tears welling in your eyes. “you were in charge of the choreography again, but something didn't work this time,” he continued and your hands started shaking. minho noticed it and quietly took your hand in his, squeezing it to reassure you. JYP shared his feedback with yuna as well and you exhaled shakily. you were scared. “yn.” you looked up at JYP again, expecting the worst. “for me your enthusiasm and willingness to work and become even better is clearly seen. and even if this week you and minho didn't do your job properly, i see the most potential in you,” he continued in a serious tone. “that's why you are the one to stay. you can come back to your team.” you stood there in shock, tears now streaming down your face. you bowed clumsily and took a step back, your vision blurry. you didn't really remember the rest of his words, but when he left the set, you rushed to yuna and minho and hugged them tightly, sobbing. “i'm so sorry,” you babbled. “i'm so, so sorry.” “it's okay, it's not your fault,” yuna said shakily. she then smiled at you and went to say goodbye to others. you then hugged minho again, burying your face in his chest. “you should be the one staying here,” you mumbled, sniffling. “i'll fix this,” you added, looking him in the eyes. he only patted your head and smiled softly. “it's okay, we did a great job anyway,” he chuckled. “bye, yn. i liked to work with you even if you hate me” “bye, minho. i don't actually hate you.”
it wasn't right. no. it was his place, he belonged here. you spoke to JYP once, but he brushed you off after a minute. then you spoke to him for the second time, he said no. you tried again, he told you his decision was made. but you didn't want to respect it. it wasn't right. after episode 5 you went to him again. this time, he listened to you, taking in everything you wanted to say about this being a bad idea. “i'm willing to switch places with him, just please bring him back,” you pleaded. but he only said you should go back to your dorm. you cried on your way there. and you cried yourself to sleep that day.
episode 6 and minho came back. you couldn't believe your eyes - JYP brought him back. you didn't really listen to the man when he was explaining everything. you only saw minho - his eyes were so sparkly and when they met yours, you saw him smile widely. then JYP left the practice room to give you some time to reunite and you didn't waste time. you ran to him and immediately wrapped your arms around his neck. you rambled on and on that you were so happy to see him again and explained the whole situation. you must've started crying at some point cause minho had to wipe some tears from your cheeks. “i make you cry a lot, huh?” minho said jokingly when you stopped the ramble. “no wonder you hate me,” he added and your smile faded. “i don't hate you. if i did, i would've choked you instead of hugging you right now,” you giggled, smiling again. “fair point. but if you don't hate me then how do you feel about me?” minho teased, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “i was hoping you would know by now.” “oh, i do. i just want you to say it out loud,” he said, his face getting closer and closer to yours. but you didn't respond to that, pecking his cheek instead and finally backing off a little to let the rest say hi to him. you were smiling the whole time and you knew you did the right thing.
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taglist: @lynlyndoll @iyenbread @flooo71 @skz-streamer @inniescandy-01
let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the taglistđŸ€
feedback and reblogs highly appreciatedđŸ«¶đŸœ
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soliloquent-stark · 6 months ago
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this is a bit all over the place, don't mind me. and don't keep reading if you dislike gooey stuff.
as you might know from the lovely asks i was sent (thank you, everyone 💗) it was my birthday yesterday. and unfortunately, as it often happens, some things didn't go so well. i won't go into details, but it was tough, and it sucked to cry on my birthday more than usual (teenage trauma throwback, am i rite) though i admit it was really handy to have a cake to absorb all the tears right up. đŸ€­
but good things happened, too! and almost all of them had one common denominator: k! (typing it out like this is so silly. she has a name. but for all intents and purposes, she's simply ✹k✹).
without even getting into the actual gifts that my fiancĂ©e got me this year—which are as always perfect and thoughtful and useful and just magic—or the cake, or the flowers, or anything else, i wanted to specifically showcase the marvel related stuff that put such a smile on my face:
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yes, that balloon gave me heart attacks whenever i walked into the room. yes, i pretended to hate cringy cowboy seb then ended up giggling and blushing every time i looked at him. yes, the spiderman gift bag is from the children's section and we've gifted it back and forth at various occasions for over a year now.
also a superfamily celebration:
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i loved feeling like a four year old little boy with my spiderman cake topper <3.
and i obviously won't share the rest of what she wrote, but the card included some sweet quotes i genuinely was so moved by, then i realised they sounded familiar, then i realised it's from my hedgehog fic (which was a gift to her, so honestly we're just throwing the same quotes back and forth pretending it's about steve and tony. it was never about steve and tony).
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quoting my own writing back to me?? hello?? queen behaviour right there. also peak moment for me.
(side note, that's not even all the marvel stuff i got from her this birthday. i didn't include any gifts in this post. also, i wish there was a way to show everyone just how many marvel things we own (including fanmade posters, stickers, zines etc. support creators if you can. ❀) and how much that shocks some people who visit us because it doesn't seem like it goes with the sapphic-grandma core we got going on. oh well, it does now.)
it would be impossible to list why k is the best person in the world without writing actual novels (believe me, i have tried and it was very long) and sharing way too much about her story. but just trust me when i say she is the best friend you could ever have, and she makes me feel so loved and appreciated every single day, which makes special occasions even harder because how do you even top that? well, she still manages to. every time. đŸ„ș
i guess the point of this was to share some appreciation and further my k propaganda, because i can see all the effort and care she lovingly puts into everything she does for other people, and to let everyone know just how much of an angel she is. i don't care if it's corny. and if you've ever seen a comment written by whinysteve, or read her excited tags on a reblog, or directly talked to her, or simply perceived her existence in any form, you already know she's the fucking best. it's not an act, it's all real. should get my shit together and finally wife her up. đŸ„č
tl;dr: she makes any moment better by just being there; and when she sets her mind to it, you will feel the power of her kindness. at the end of day, to be loved is to be seen. and she's got the world record for best vision. ❀‍đŸ©č
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chimivx · 7 months ago
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i'm literally crying while i'm writing this but ok
when I read nmwid I became obsessed (I read it 4 times in december). it became my Roman empire. i made 2 playlists and I told this whole story to my best friends
and now, reading cruel summer, I could have a new perspective of everything that happened. I loved her and all I wanted was to protect her from the messy life she had. I hope she finally has a happy ending :(
I cried while I read the second part. again, she suffered a lot. seeing her relationship with taehyun end made me feel bad because it wasn't what either of them wanted, but it had to be that way. but he was an idiot. but I smiled every time soobin appeared, I think I started to like him more after reading this. 
however, there is beomgyu. I'm suspicious of talking because I'm a bamtori, and I'm always interested when he's there. but he was an ANGEL. I wish I could hug him every time he took care of her when taehyun did something wrong. I wish they had had a better ending together too :( that's why I wanted to know more about the twins, the letters, everything. 
maybe in another life...
i want to say THANK YOU again. i wish you had all the sucess of the world and never give up, you writing is perfect! if "no matter what i do" had a book i definitely would buy it lol
thanks for changing my life ❀ i love you chimivx !!
ps: my writing in english isn’t good so please ignore if it have any error. <3
SHARE THE PLAYLISTS PLEASE!?!
I made one too! Of all the songs I’ve listened to while creating this world! <3
THANK YOU FOR THIS đŸ„č for reading and supporting and sending your thoughts đŸ«¶ I appreciate more than I can say!!!
I’ll say it till the very end- MC & Beomgyu wreck me. I almost feel as though I made a mistake not putting them together, but then when you add Soobin into the mix and see what a difference he makes in her life
 It makes us realize it wasn’t a mistake at all. She needs Soobin. 😭
Beomgyu’s entire story is rough. His life, what he endures
 It’s hard. (It mirrors me in a way, I’ll be honest.) So for him to have to deal with everything that’s going on
 It’s a lot. He loves MC to death, that much is very true, but
 in the end end

MORE IS COMING!! Another piece of this story will be coming because so much of it is swimming in my head and I cannot let it go. I promise you there will be more
 I’ve already started on some of Gyu’s letters

Thank YOU again my love for reading and showing your support, it truly keeps me motivated to continue đŸ˜­đŸ«¶
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shadowqueenjude · 2 months ago
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The fandom is so lucky to have you! We appreciate having you here and all that you contribute to it ❀❀
1. What brought you into the fandom?
2. What character(s) do you feel the most connected to and why?
3. Out of all of SJM’s books, which one means the most to you and why?
4. Out of all of the SJM couples (fanon, canon, endgame, etc) which one means the most to you and why?
Keep doing you ❀
This is so sweet! It made my dayđŸ„č
1. I finished the ACOTAR series late 2023 and I was devastated to find out that it wasn’t completed! It’s soooooo hard waiting for the next installment in a series. I went through this with The Land of Stories and The Trials of Apollo too 😭😭😭. So yeah I searched online for Elucien/pro Lucien/anti IC content and I couldn’t find shit ANYWHERE. The only place I even saw some decent content was on Tumblr, so I started posting my analyses and rants and writing about ACOTAR and it turned out many people agreed with me! It was such a relief to finally find Lucien stans who also saw holes in SJM’s writing!
2. I resonate with Nesta the most. She’s just so relatable and human to me. First with the parental trauma (real), second with feeling like they’ve disappointed everybody because they weren’t able to do things that no teen girl should have to do, pushing people away because she’s afraid they’ll leave, spitting facts and everybody getting mad at you for it. And Nesta’s modesty: damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I’ll never forgive SJM for robbing her of her modesty, but it’s honestly reflective of how women like her are treated irl. My own family wants me to be more modest (i’m already pretty damn modest) while the outside world wants me to be less modest, and it’s really frustrating being put in a box like that and not being able to be yourself. Nesta’s hard shell soft interior is me-core.
3. I think by far SJM’s best book is Tower of Dawn. The worldbuilding, the romance, the plot, the chemistry between Chaol and Yrene (and Nesryn and Sartaq) was perfection. And Chaol being a genuinely flawed and human character in a world full of Fae feeling useless and learning to grapple with himself and find his purpose and a man who had always prided himself on his body learning to see that he is so much more than that, that he is as much a man with his wheelchair as he is without it, and Yrene, a character who rules by peace and healing, not violence and destruction, showing everybody how strong she is
well, it’s unlike so many of SJM’s books and she didn’t write it to be popular and tropey (Chaol is wildly unpopular in the TOG fandom) which is why it’s so good.
4. My favorite SJM couple that is already confirmed endgame is Elide and Lorcan from Throne of Glass. God, I love them. Elide, the cunning little witch with a limp and innocent eyes, showing just how strong she can be, wielding Lorcan’s axe (😍) and saving him on the battlefield. Manipulating everybody with a few choice words and a flutter of her eyes. Lorcan being utterly mesmerized from the start. Being a menstruation king and taking such good care of her during her periods. Washing her clothes, bringing her dinner
i mean he is so malewife. Elide being a canon ace queen who only engaged in sexual activities after she trusted and loved Lorcan so deeply that she would allow herself to be vulnerable with him. Elide being sassy as hell and Lorcan being into it. Another human, very real character who is a survivor and quite unlike any other character in the SJM-verse.
Aside from that, Ruhnlidia is đŸ”„ and amongst those which aren’t technically canon endgame yet, Elucien. The political couple. The fashion-forward couple. The charming couple. The regency couple. The brown-eyed couple. The nonviolent couple. They’re the only two who know they’re mates from the start. Arranged marriage forced proximity trope. The tension, the yearning, Lucien as a fucking male lead
gahhhhhhhwodnwksnaklahiknj
Anyway thanks for the ask!
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punkshort · 2 months ago
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Your Marcus Acacius
 let me tell you, when I say my life hasn’t been the same since, I’m not even exaggerating. I mean literally. That man is so swoonable it hurts!!đŸ˜« it is impossible not to fall madly in love (and lust😉) with him! The way you described both his inner and outer beauty and his irresistible personality and riz and confidence and raw masculinity is just *CHEFS KISS!! You leave such a visceral sense of who he is he has me in a chokehold and Im just mad that he’s not reeeeeal!!😭😭
your world building is so beautiful! it’s so vivid and delightful it makes me wanna live there. (And I live in NYC😆)
The side characters Iizard and the brother are hilarious! I love them AND I wanna throw an oven mitt at them😂
Your protagonist: I like your protagonist so much she’s so endearing. She’s so sweet and kind even when she’s ready to kick Danny’s ass you can tell she still loves him and will always look out for him. She’s not perfect and struggles at work (and with life) like most of us do but she’s smart and strong and resilient like we all try/want to be so she’s very relatable. It’s easy to see how a man like Acacius would fall in love with her. And even when she’s angry and annoyed she’s still very lovable (in contrast to Kate and Leopold). And that Matt guy. Well
 he deserves everything he got lol And the smut
 oh the smut. It’s so fluffy and sweet and SO HOTTTđŸ„”đŸ„” I melted on the floor like your protagonist saidđŸ« đŸ« 
TW: I don’t wanna make this weird I swear. you don’t have to reply at all it’s totally fine. I just want you to know that your art has literally changed my life. I don’t mean to overshare but
 being able to take refuge in the world you’ve created got me through weeks of PTSD flashback hell. And I’ve had this one difficulty all my life and decades of expensive therapy couldn’t make a dent but In Another Life cured it. I’m excited to live againđŸ„č. I just wanna say from the bottom of my heart how grateful I am that you shared your beautiful writing with us!âŁïžâŁïžđŸ’đŸ’–đŸ’đŸ’–
Sincerely,
A Marcus Acacius Girly
PS I did reblog your work but I was too embarrassed to leave all this in my comments so I had to go anon in your inbox😅
This was so beautiful to read it took me a minute to figure out how to answer it - I can't really put into words what this means to me but I'll try đŸ„č
Firstly, thank you so much for pointing out all your favorite parts because that's my favorite part! I absolutely adore hearing what struck you the most as a reader and I like to hear if what I've written came across the way it intended and how I imagined it, etc, so this was and always is so wonderful to hear. It just gave me that extra motivation I needed to work on part 3 later đŸ€­ (I've already started it but didn't get very far)
Secondly, thank you for sharing a bit about your personal struggles. I know that has to be so hard for you to share and I appreciate that you felt impacted enough by something I wrote to want to say something about it. I don't think I know how to describe the way my chest literally tightened when I read that part but I'm floored something I wrote could help anybody in the world the way you described. It makes me so happy I could help you in that way, it really truly does. I really hope things are looking better for you now ❀
Lastly, thank you for reblogging! Don't feel obligated to write anything when you do, I appreciate it all the same!
I'm very grateful you reached out to me and trusted me enough to share a piece of yourself. I sincerely hope the rest of the story meets your expectations and continues to bring a little light into your life ❀ I also rely heavily on this platform (and my own writing) as a form of therapy (and maybe a little escapism, sure) so we certainly have that in common 😘
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parcequecestnotreprojeeeet · 1 year ago
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Hi, it’s me Fanfic Anon #2. I saw that there was a request for some grandkids fluff. (Thank you, kind Anon for your kind words about my writing đŸ„č) Hope you all enjoy!
He smiled as his littlest grandson stopped squirming in his arms, settling as he was now seemingly distracted by something.
“What’s up, little buddy?” He asked, mesmerized as his little mouth formed a perfect little “o” his hands starting to move from the blanket where he had him swaddled, little fingers grasping at his finger.
“What are you looking at, huh?” He smiled as the little one gurgled, fingers grasping on to his trinity ring.
“Oh? You like that, don’t you?” The little boy giggled in reply.
“That was a gift from your Mamie, and it’s very special. I have worn it every single day since she gave it to me way before you were born. And every time I look at it, I feel all warm inside because it reminds me how much Mamie loves me.”
He kept talking while the little one kept playing with the ring, “I’m going to give you my first piece of grandfatherly advice, you ready?
“One day, you are going to meet someone. And you may not know immediately that they’re The One, but that’s okay. One day you’re going to know. Trust me. And when you do - don’t listen to anyone else. Follow your heart. I know your Mamie and I have never regretted it. And you should know, no matter what the rest of the world thinks, your Mamie and I will always support you and love you.”
“Within reason,” he heard his wife correct from the doorway.
“ChĂ©rie!” He objected, scandalized.
“Well I don’t want him to marry a murderer!” She defended.
“Okay. Well I don’t think that’s likely to happen,” he laughed before turning back to their little one, amending, “we will always love you and will support you - as long as you don’t marry a murder. Better?” He confirmed with a smile.
“Better,” she smiled as she joined him on the couch.
“How was the tea party?”
“Long. I finally got her to wrap up the princess tea party to go down for her nap. But I love spending time with her like that, just one on one. Speaking of, how are my men doing?”
“Oh we’ve been fine! We’re having a great time over here, aren’t we buddy?”
“He not going to answer you yet!”
“I don’t know. He’s a pretty smart boy, he already has latched on to one of the most meaningful things I own. So at least he has good taste,” he looked with kind eyes towards where his grip was still strong on his ring.
“Well, he needs to let it go. It’s nap time for him too.”
“Five more minutes,” he begged, putting on his best puppy dog eyes.
“We have him all weekend, chĂ©ri.”
“Fine,” he sighed, moving to stand up.
“And,” she started trying to sweeten the deal, “if we get them both down for an hour, than that’s an hour that you and I can -“
“Brigitte!” He interrupted scandalized. “Not in front of young, impressionable ears!”
“Then put him down for his nap, Daddy,” she stood up to kiss him, before pulling back to head towards their bedroom, “I’ll be waiting for our nap time.”
Hellooo fanfic Anon #2! ❀
Yay for fluffiness! Double yay for fluffiness with the grandkids! Hahaha the little one playing with Emmanuel’s trinity ring and him telling the story...too adorable for words! 😍
Daddy Manu! *inserts daddy president poster photo*
Thank you so much, fanfic Anon #2! ❀❀❀
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pirouettefrappelatte · 2 years ago
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My experience seeing AOTV:
-It was really interesting to see behind the scenes of 1D’s last performance together
-Simon Cowbell was in the movie 2 times too many for me😑
-I loved hearing about the hiatus from Louis’ perspective and how he worked through everything in his mind to eventually get where he is now
-Definitely cried when he and his family talked about Jay’s passing. The way Louis described his relationship with his mum was just so precious. (The fact that he called her when he lost his virginity😂 I died)
-Louis’ grandparents being the absolute sweetest throughout. (Them showing Louis pictures of his mum when she was younger, ughđŸ„č)
-Loved hearing about things from Lottie, Daisy & Phoebe’s perspectives as well. It’s always nice to hear lovely things about Louis.
-All the home videos of the siblings as kids?😭
-I never knew how freaking great Oli is until now: “It was better than a one direction gig!” (I laughed at all of your jokes, Oli, even if the rest of the theatre didn’t)
-A little annoyed by the fact that they reused footage from the AFHF doc. Like we’ve already seen this, we know about COVID messing up the tour, can’t we see some new stuff??
-Lilo & Nouis backstage at the festivals so cute *chefs kiss*
-I needed more of Louis doing vocal rehearsals and more behind the scenes of him recording for the album. There was not enough. I just love hearing his voice without any editing and even when it’s not perfect. (That being said, his low voice?? BrooooooođŸ”„)
-I love you, Helene. Thank you for taking care of my baby.
-The “film strips” when talking about 1D where one would be Louis and then the next one would be Harry👀 (And yes, the Larry hug was cute but I’m not gonna make this about Larry haha)
-My personal opinion is that the scenes with Freddie were obviously contrived. Them going to the beach and Louis talking about him seemed extremely thought out/scripted. And the way Louis talked to the Freddie sounded like how he would talk to just any kid not his son. Also, Freddie at the LA show again was contrived. It was all too “perfect”: him singing along, holding up the sign and Louis yelling up to him, he being backstage when the show ended. Louis kept saying “you made me tear up” and Freddie didn’t seem to care, didn’t look at him when he was talking once. Louis hugged him and had to put Freddie’s hands on his shoulders. It was like the kid didn’t wanna touch him. The “give me a kiss” bits too. It was all too cringe and awkward for me and I’m sorry, but I’m not buying it. I understand that’s the story that Louis wants portrayed to the fans and no one has to agree with me, but that’s just my opinion on it. (Trust me, those were the only two bits of the movie that I didn’t enjoy and didn’t feel like Louis was speaking the truth. Otherwise it was amazing)
-Seeing Louis’ relationship with his band behind the scenes was wonderful. I already knew their dynamic was great but I loved hearing it from the boys’ perspectives.
-All of the fans at the tour shows, the dedication, Louis being nervous and then finally realizing that he deserves it all in the end
I definitely criedđŸ˜­đŸ„°
-I was saddened by the non-reactions from the rest of the theatre. Hardly anyone laughed at the fun bits, nobody sang along except my friend and myself when clips of Louis singing at concerts would come on, no one “awwwed” at the cute bits, no one clapped at the end, and everyone (save me, my friend and another pair) left before the credits ended. Despite all of that though, I had a wonderful time with my best friend. I’m so glad that I was able to support Louis in that way considering that I can’t go to any of his tour. I love him so much and he deserves all the success in the world❀
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elixirfromthestars · 1 month ago
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You already had me at Bucky Barnes. Then you added college Bucky with the ‘saying I love you for the first time’ prompt and I knew I was going to love this đŸ„č❀❀
All my feelings under the cut because after 11k words there’s so much I want to say!! ❀✚❀✚❀✚❀
First and foremost I absolutely despise John 😠 That man has too much audacity in general and he needs to be HUMBLED. Breaking up through text is the most cowardly and shitty thing someone can do 😡😡 And the fact that the reader put up with him for two years???? 😠💔 Never related more when she said she wanted to punch him in the face like yes me too girl đŸ˜€
Now that I got that out of the way 😌 time to go crazy over college Bucky đŸ„č❀❀ Because omg you wrote him so wonderfully and had me swooning over him the entire time he’s so perfect đŸ˜­đŸ©·đŸ©·
“Ya droolin’, babydoll,” James pointed out and used his pointer finger to close your mouth. Your eyes widened and you wiped over your mouth, growling at him when you didn't feel the saliva. “Jus’ wanted to warn ya before ya make a fool out of ya'self.”
^ BABYDOLL?! đŸ« â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž Excuse me I’m just melting over here at the sweetness don’t mind me!!!!
Like I’m sorry. If Bucky called me babydoll, looking at me like that, looking like that I— *instantly in love* đŸ€­đŸ’—đŸ’—
“Trust me, babydoll, if you asked me for the world, I would get it for you. You want the stars? Oh, babydoll, you would get even those. A man has to carry his princess in his hands or else he isn’t worth her attention and love,” James said, he let his hand travel from your cheek to your chin. He tilted your head up with his hand underneath your chin, getting all of your attention. “How about that
 ya put your stuff into ya bag. And then I invite ya to get ice cream with me.”
^ The reader is so much stronger than me because I would have fallen in love then and there. ❀❀❀ He’s so sweet and considerate it’s the cutest 😭💕💕
I loved that he had been crushing on her for awhile now!! I also love how much of a sweet gentleman he is đŸ„č💞💞 Carrying her bag for her, taking her out to get ice cream, holding her hand, and spending summer break with her. He’s the best!!!! 💘
It was so sweet how reassuring he was with her đŸ„ș❀ Like he was patient and made sure the reader knew how loved and beautiful she was and that was just wonderful 😭💖💖
THE PICNIC đŸ§ș❀ TOO CUTE!!! Like he’s never taken anyone to that picnic spot before and the fact that he took a picture of them to save it as his background đŸ˜­â€ïžâ€ïž Baking his best girl her favorite cake AND gifting her his football hoodie đŸˆâ€ïžon top of everything was *chefs kiss* đŸ„°
Their summer break was too cute like the flour fight, the cuddles, Bucky cooking/baking for her, and practically living with her calling her place home has me feeling so soft đŸ„șđŸ„° I adore that the reader was finally being treated like she deserved to be!! Like yes Bucky show her off!!! ❀❀
His friends being so accepting too and just giving her this support and kindness she deserves was everything to me!!! The reader definitely needed that đŸ«¶đŸŒâœš
John coming back 😒 let me at him đŸ˜€ because how dare he??? 😠 I wanted to give the reader a hug after those texts omg đŸ„ș And Bucky being so worried and just trying to get in contact like đŸ˜­â€ïžâ€đŸ©č
“It doesn't matter. Nothing matters when it comes to you, babydoll.” You inhaled deeply, leaning your forehead against his. “But I told him that my girl needs me and that I will win every fucking game this season when you're at the side in my jersey. You will watch the games, right?”
^ Everything about how he went about this was too sweet đŸ„č💖 He’s the biggest softie I love him ❀ I love that he came to comfort her, hold her in his arms, and just let her know how loved she is đŸ„ș❀❀ He’s so selfless too like??? 💖
“I can’t give ya the whole world
 not the one ya think at least. But I can give ya my world — our world. I can make everything shine for ya like I took every star and gave it to ya,” he mumbled, reminding you of what he said before summer break. “But I can tell ya, I'm so in love with ya. My heart, it's beating for you — only for ya. You're my world, everything for me.
^ STOOOOOP đŸ˜­â€ïžâ€ïž Saying this while the reader’s hand is over his heart and then kisses right after AHHHHH đŸ„č💗💗
And then the ending was just perfect!! 💕 Showing up wearing Bucky’s hoodie and letting everyone know they’re together and sticking it to John with the words and the kiss!!!! Loved it!!! đŸ«¶đŸŒâœš
Thank you so much for participating in my writing challenge with this amazing piece!! đŸ„čđŸˆâ€ïž I will be thinking about this Bucky for the rest of the day thank you đŸ€­đŸ’—
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^ me throughout the entire thing because omg!!! ❀❀❀
Summer of love | B.B
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Just before summer break you think you will spend all day in front of the television with lot of ice cream and even more romantic movies to dream about. Little do you know that your ex-boyfriend’s rival will turn your summer into a dream itself.
Pairing: College!Bucky Barnes x College!Fem!Reader
Wordcount: 11.106 Words
Warnings: college au, football captain Bucky, ex-boyfriend’s rival!Bucky, break up (not Bucky), fluff, love, bit angst, Bucky being emotional, love confession, more fluff, so much more fluff, did I mention: fluff!
Authors Note: The biggest thank you to @thevillainswhore for the title, for helping to decide pictures and proofreading. I’m so grateful and I love you!❀❀
Events: Writing Challenge | College Au; saying ‘I love you’ for the first time | @elixirfromthestars
Bucky Barnes Bingo | B023 | Y2 | AU: Sports | @buckybarnesbingo | Seasonal Delights Bingo: Types of love | G5 | unlikely friendship | @seasonaldelightsbingo | Multifandom Flash Bingo: Compliments | Row One-Three | I’ll take that as a compliment | @multifandom-flash
Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist
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Your world broke down when you looked at your phone and saw the message your boyfriend — now ex-boyfriend — sent you. It was just after the last lesson of the day — summer break had started.
You were sure as hell that he was going to fuck every girl that had an interest in him, which were a lot considering he was the captain of one of the college’s football teams.. He was handsome and well trained but his character? Well, that was something you would prefer not to talk about.
John was a nice, gentle boy when the two of you were alone. He took care of you and made you feel loved — most of the time at least. But whenever he was around his friends or anywhere the two of you could be seen together, he kept his distance. He didn’t bother to hold your hand or kiss you in public. When you had dates outside your dorms, it was mostly in small coffee shops or the next town where no one would see you together.
When you repeatedly asked him if he was ashamed,  he would just shake his head and tell you that you overreacted, that he just has to keep his image, he couldn’t  just date anybody. You tried to tell him that other boys show off their girls too but he still kept your relationship as much a secret as possible.
Even though people heard the rumor that the two of you were dating — some of them having seen you —he never made it clear that you belong to him. So you often had the bitchy girls who laughed at you, gave you side eyes or commented on your relationship with John. ‘How fake it was’ — and maybe they were right.
However, while John was probably using his whole summer to have fun and fuck around — having the best time ever — you would probably sit in your room and cry until your eyes burned. He hadn’t treated you as perfect as you wished for, like men do in your romantic books or movies, but he still ripped your heart out and shattered it into tiny little pieces. So, chocolate and lots of ice cream would become your best friends during your summer break, giving you the comfort you so desperately sought. You were sure you wouldn’t find a man who  would love you.
Maybe it wasn't even  that he broke up with you that hurt you so much, but the way he did it — through a message. He didn’t even have enough balls to tell you personally that he was done with you. No, he sent it as a message — two messages in fact, which now that you thought about it, made you want to punch him in his face. Hard.
You figured that was the reason why he hadn’t told you face to face. Because he didn’t want the backlash of your reaction. You may have been angry, but you would never lay a hand on him — even if he did deserve it. He may have broken your heart but you weren’t a monster. But for now, you were still sitting in school, staring at the message to try and find a little hint that it all was a joke. Your eyes were teary and your vision blurry when you re-read the message over and over again. There had to be a hint that it was a joke. He wouldn’t break up with you, right?
The feeling that John really meant those words settled heavily into your stomach. You inhaled deeply to try and stop your body from shaking. He couldn’t  mean it — he just couldn’t. The two of you were together for two years already and he threw it away like it meant nothing to him. Or maybe the reason he mentioned in his messages is true and he just wanted to have a summer break.
Your eyes roamed over your phone once again. The screen was blurred by your tears but you could still read it. Over and over again but it didn’t change a thing, it only made your thoughts run faster and  louder, but nothing else.
John: Hi, I’ll make it short. Things between us became boring and I know you wouldn’t allow me to have sex with anyone. Even though there wouldn’t be any feelings, I have to break up with you.
John: It’s neither your nor my fault, we just remind me of old people. We’re always doing the same things and I need action. So if you give me the summer break, we can date after the summer again.
He was your first real boyfriend but you didn't want to be second best. That’s exactly what you would be if you went back to him after summer break. He broke your heart, and he hurt you a lot — but that didn’t  mean you were a naive, little fucktoy for him to use becuase it was easy to date you. You never complained much and he always had you when he didn't feel well or frustrated.
And John may have been right that things between the two of you became boring, but he never had time for you in the first place. Everything else was more important and when he did have time for you, it was mostly sex or he came over really late. The dates became very rare, and you just wished he would have had more time for you but you didn’t want to push him or force him either.
You lowered your phone and inhaled deeply. With one hand you wiped the tears off your face, trying to calm down before you felt ready to go home. They all were right, he played with you, or at least he was ashamed to be with you and you never noticed — or just ignored it.
“Whatcha doin’ here?” A rough voice came from next to you and you immediately tilted your head to look at the young man who took a place next to you on a chair. His brown, long hair was tied to a bun, just a few strands fell into his handsome face and framed it. He smiled softly at you, leaning on the table with his head still turned toward you. “Who’s causing those tears?”
His smile slowly faded when he noticed your red eyes and the traces of tears over your cheek. Almost instinctively, he brought one of his hands to your cheeks, cupping it softly. His thumb caressed your cheek, removing the tears. The brown haired man was gentle, his ocean blue eyes pierced into yours and when you finally offered him a soft smile, he grinned at you, again.
“So, who caused this pretty girl to cry at the beginning of summer break,” he asked, his voice rough but so soft. You almost melted into his touch, his warmth sending shivers through your body and you needed a moment to gather your thoughts before you spoke.
“I— my boyfriend or now ex-boyfriend. He sent me a message that he wants to have the summer for himself and after we could date again,” you answered, smiling softly at the man in front of you. He shook his head, knowing that the smile on your lips was nothing but fake, and as much as he loved to see you smile, he didn’t  want you to force one onto your lips to play your hurt off. “What are you doing here still, James?”
James’ eyes widened when his name slipped past your lips. Before he could stop himself, he grinned even wider at you. “Ya know my name, huh, babydoll? I had something to clear up with the coach.”
“Of course, I do. You're one of the most famous boys in college,” you said and he nodded. You weren’t  wrong. Even students who didn’t follow football knew of him too. On the other hand, your ex-boyfriend was James' rival. “You're the captain of the football team, or the captain of one of them. The other is John
”
James nodded again, then he cleared his throat and tilted your head up with his hand that still captured your cheek. “Yeah
” he trailed off slightly. “So, can we get back to ya statement, that he sent ya a message to break up with ya. Ya know that’s how little school boys do it.”
You chuckled softly, nodding. You definitely knew that it wasn’t a nice way to break up with someone you used to love but you couldn’t change it. You let your eyes trail over James' handsome face for a moment, taking in every small detail of his pretty face. You had never been this close to him before and he looked even more stunning up close.
“Ya droolin’, babydoll,” James pointed out and used his pointer finger to close your mouth. Your eyes widened and you wiped over your mouth, growling at him when you didn't feel the saliva. “Jus’ wanted to warn ya before ya make a fool out of ya'self.”
You nodded, glaring at him for a moment longer before you finally found the courage and the words to tell him what was on your mind since he mentioned that John's behavior was kind of childish. You inhaled deeply, letting your eyes wander back to his beautiful blue ones. Your tongue poked out, wetting your lips and you noticed with a giggle that James eyes immediately darted down to your lips.
“It's not the only shitty thing he did,” you mumbled. James' eyes widened in curiosity. He didn’t  want to push you to tell him, but he would have loved to hear what his rival was like when he had such a pretty girl like you by his side. “He said we became boring, and that's neither mine nor his fault. Maybe he is right, but he never had time, it was mostly about sex, or nights together but otherwise he was always busy.”
You weren’t even sure why you told James about that but he was the only one who seemed curious and you just hoped he wouldn't use it against you. If anything, he would probably only use it against John.
James nodded, his eyes narrowed and he looked away for a moment. His hand never left your cheek and it gave you more comfort than you thought it would. But you were glad he sat down next to you and used his time to let you talk about John, offering you the comfort you were seeking so badly. When he looked back at you, his eyes glistened with something you had never seen before but it made you feel warm and safe with him.
“What a shame, with such a pretty girl by his side too
” he mumbled more to himself. “Did he at least introduce ya to his friends and family? The two of ya were together for over two years, right?”
You nodded slightly, definitely surprised by James' knowledge of your and John's relationship. “Yes but he didn't introduce me to his family. I know his friends but not really, he always tried to meet up when no one else was around.”
“So
.” James trailed off, he already knew the answer but he wanted to hear it again — he wanted to hear that John was a dick who couldn't treat his girlfriend like a man but like a school boy. His ocean blue eyes were piercing into yours again, his lips were slightly curled up. “He didn't show you off — neither to his family, nor to his friends, when possible — not to the world?”
You shook your head. “N-No, not once
 his friends saw us together maybe once or twice but we never went to their birthdays together. I-I was invited too, but John said I wouldn't like it there so he already told them I wasn’t interested in coming to their parties.”
“Dickhead,” James mumbled under his breath. His eyes never left yours and he inhaled deeply. “He's an idiot.”
You shrugged, smiling softly. But as much as you tried to hide the pain, it didn’t work with Bucky looking at you so intensely like he could read your soul. His fingers still caressed your cheek, two of them moving to your jaw and wandering along to your chin and back to your ear. “It's not that much of a big deal
”
James huffed with an amused expression on his face, shaking his head slightly. The few strands that hung in his face moved with his head from side to side. You wanted to wrap them around your fingers and play with his brown strands. “Oh, ya don't know how much of a big deal that is when a boy doesn't show off his girl by his side. If ya were mine, I would show you off to everyone — would make sure everyone knows you belong to me. I would even kiss ya in public, so everyone would know that this pretty girl is mine — would show ya off to everyone! Whatever ya ask for, wish for, it would be yours so ya know how much I care about ya.”
“What if—“ you thought for a moment before speaking your thoughts out loud. “If I would ask for the world, or for the stars? You can’t give them to me.” You chuckled softly, your heart beat faster when you heard his words. But at the same time you knew that he couldn’t give you everything. As much as a person loves someone, no one can give one the world, or the stars right?
“Trust me, babydoll, if you asked me for the world, I would get it for you. You want the stars? Oh, babydoll, you would get even those. A man has to carry his princess in his hands or else he isn’t worth her attention and love,” James said, he let his hand travel from your cheek to your chin. He tilted your head up with his hand underneath your chin, getting all of your attention. “How about that
 ya put your stuff into ya bag. And then I invite ya to get ice cream with me.”
James pulled your stuff closer and waited patiently for you to put it into your bag. He leaned back in his seat, his ocean blue eyes roaming over your body, mostly over your face. You put your things into your bag, his offer is too good to say no. With one smooth movement you closed the zipper of your bag.
You got off, and swung the bag to carry it over your shoulder but James grasped it with one hand and took it out of your hand. With a smirk he got up as well and walked towards the door of the classroom, waiting for you to follow him.
“Whatcha looking like that? Ya comin’ or want to stay there all day?” He grinned at you. With his free hand, he tucked a strand of his long, brown hair behind his ear. “Told ya, a man has to carry his girl in his hands, now get ya pretty ass over here or I’m gonna eat all the ice cream by myself.”
Your mouth dropped open at his words, clearly to his amusement. You walked toward him, closing your mouth slowly before you reached for your bag but James turned to the side and trapped it between him and the door. He smirked at you, holding his hand into the direction he wanted you to walk. James' slightly raised eyebrow gave you no room to argue with him.
“You don’t know if my ass is pretty, maybe you don’t like it,” you said with a shrug. James waited a moment before he followed you, his eyes roaming down your back to your swinging hips and your ass. He had to hold back a moan as a response to your beauty and the way your hips swayed from one side to the other.
He then walked through the hallway, following you until he walked next to you. “Ya have the most beautiful ass I’ve ever seen. But I couldn't have imagined it otherwise, ya’re the prettiest girl.”
It wasn’t like he had checked out a lot of girls, almost none since he had a crush on someone. James couldn’t look at another girl the same anymore after he fell in love, it felt like he had cheated and he didn’t like the feeling, even though the girl didn’t even know he was in love with her.
“Do you have a girlfriend, James? I mean, you're a football captain, handsome, nice. You should go to her instead of getting ice cream with your rival's ex-girlfriend,” you asked, curious about the captain's answer. You didn’t know much about him, he wasn’t a playboy — that was for sure. You had only seen him fielding once with a girl, maybe it was just talking to her.
“No girlfriend. Have a crush on someone but she doesn’t know about it,” he said with a shrug and opened the front door to let you walk outside first. You thanked him, feeling butterflies in your stomach about such a small but meaningful gesture. “Ya can call me Bucky. Most of my friends call me Bucky.”
“Okay, then, Bucky, who don’t you tell her?” A groan left his plump lips and you giggled softly. That was the topic every guy tried to avoid when he talked to girls. But since it was just you and him, he would maybe tell you more about her. “You look good but don’t talk to girls, that’s definitely a good thing when it comes to girls.”
Bucky nodded. He knew what girls liked and what they didn’t like — mostly because of his friends in the team who had girlfriends. He was not just once in the middle of an argument where he had to assure the girl that the team went out without other girls.
“I know, but ya know. Don’t think she even noticed me.” Bucky said, leading you to his car. His big hand had found its way to the small of your back after you had left the building with him. His hand was warm and comforting.
“How can someone not notice you? You’re the captain of the football team.” You were almost shocked about his statement. Everyone who wasn’t completely new in school knew about the captains of the teams — mostly even knew about the other members of the team. They were all pretty handsome and the typical guy girls read in books when they tried to make their perfect boyfriend in their minds.
“Because not everyone likes football? Some people ignore us too,” Bucky said. He opened his car, letting you sit before he shut the door and walked around the car, getting into it as well. He had a dark blue Jeep, it was clean and you were surprised that it was really that clean.
Bucky was a college boy, a football college boy. So you thought he would have a messy car, but instead it was even cleaner than yours would probably be.
“You really love that car?” You earned a nod, followed by a chuckle. Bucky's cheeks heated up and he wanted to hit his head against the steering wheel, he made a fool out of himself with you being so close to him.
“Yeah, don’t like it messy. Ya, don’t look at me like that, I know whatcha wanted to say!” Bucky laughed, starting the car to drive the two of you to his favorite ice shop. “You will love the ice there, they have more flavors than you can imagine.”
The two of you stayed silent for a moment, both stuck in your minds and thoughts. Your eyes were focused on Bucky while he was focused on the street. Even though he didn’t turn his head, he watched you out of the corner of his eye, smirking to himself when he noticed that you stared at him once again.
After a few minutes you cleared your throat, getting him to turn his face for a moment toward you. Bucky offered you a soft smile before his eyes darted back to the street, but he was still letting you know that he listens to you with a hum.
“Why are you doing this for me? I mean, you don’t know me and I’m just the pathetic ex-girlfriend of your rival,” you asked, smacking yourself mentally for even asking that. But you didn’t want him to do that for you because he felt pity.
“I will tell ya at the end of the summer break,” he said, his eyes finding yours once again. He could see the way you were looking at him, that there was more behind the question than just curiosity. “You’re not a burden and I don’t do it because I feel pity for you, so get those thoughts out of your pretty mind immediately, babydoll.”
You chuckled, eyes still remaining on Bucky while he drove the two of you to the ice cream shop he loved so much. Little did you know, it was also your favorite one, only when you arrived did your eyes widen and you stared at Bucky with an excited glisten in your eyes. He grinned at you, getting out of the car to almost run around so he could open the door for you, while you stared at the shop with a huge grin on your face.
“My lady,” Bucky smirked and offered you his hand to take. He helped you get out of the car, his lips curled even further up when he noticed that you couldn’t take your eyes off the ice cream shop. “Like that?”
“I—” you trailed off, letting your eyes wander to meet Bucky's ocean blue ones. You smirked at him, raising an eyebrow before clearing your throat to hide the excitement. Even though you were pretty sure Bucky knew how excited you were already. “I don't just like it
 I LOVE IT. That's my favorite ice cream shop!”
You had always wanted to go here with John, but he would just shake his head and tell you that the one closer to your apartment was just as good or that this one was too expensive for just ice cream. He wasn't wrong, it wasn’t as cheap as other smaller ones. But the others didn’t have that amount of different ice creams and they didn’t taste as good as they did in your favorite ice cream shop.
Bucky nodded, taking your hand into his and interlacing your fingers. His grip was firm but so comforting that you didn’t even think about removing your hand from his. The two of you walked then slowly to the entrance of the little building. It wasn’t as full as you thought it would be, even a few tables were free and you already looked around to find the best place before you had even decided which ice cream you wanted.
“You already know what you want?” Bucky asked and got your attention back. He had already pulled you toward the counter, greeting the woman behind it. The brown haired man didn’t offer her the smile he showed you, she only got a small grin which didn't even reach his sparkling eyes. The moment his eyes landed on you, his eyes were even softer and his smile bigger, lighting up the blue in his eyes. “You can have as many as you want.”
“I know I'm gonna pay for my ice cream myself.” You mumbled and looked at all the different ones to decide which ones you wanted. Bucky grunted, he would definitely pay for the ice cream, he wouldn't have asked you if he let you pay for it yourself. He nodded slowly, glaring at the woman behind the counter, letting her know that he would pay. You looked up at her, smiling softly. “I—”
You stuttered when you tried to decide if you really wanted those flavors or different but then you let her finally know which you wanted. Your eyes wandered to Bucky, who had a mischievous grin on his face and you rolled your eyes, letting your head fall against his shoulder and looked up at him.
“You won't let me pay for my ice cream, right?” He shook his head, looking down at you with the most intense but softest expression you had ever seen on someone's face. You were not sure what there was between you and him but it gave you the comfort you were always looking for — you didnt really know him but it felt like you had known him forever already.
“I asked you out, so I'm gonna pay. No discussion, just get your ice cream and get us a table,” Bucky said and leaned his head against yours for a moment until the woman behind the counter gave you your ice cream and you did as you were told after mumbling a soft ‘thank you’ into Bucky's shoulder.
— —
The first few days of summer break you spent in your apartment, wrapped into a blanket and watching a lot of movies while eating even more ice cream. But instead of crying your eyes out, you had company from your — now — best friend. After your ice cream date with Bucky the two of you walked through the park until the sun went down and even then you two had so much more to talk about — so you offered to meet him the next day. And that's exactly what the two of you did, since then you met every day.
Bucky always brought you small presents and gave you a lot of compliments. You could stand in front of him in a dress or in your pajamas with messy hair — he always told you how beautiful and stunning you were. You first didn't believe him, thinking it was just a joke but whenever you looked into his ocean blue eyes, there was nothing but the truth and love visible.
Today he asked you to go out with him again. He had a surprise and who were you to say no to such a sweet and gentle man? Bucky didn’t just help you to forget about John, but he also showed you what love and affection really meant. He wasn’t afraid to show you off to the world, even though you were not his girl, yet.
“Babydoll, are ya ready?” he asked, peeking through the door of your bedroom with a smirk. Bucky knew that you were at least dressed, otherwise he wouldn't look without permission. When his eyes met yours you blushed softly but shook your head.
Bucky's eyes widened, he then narrowed them and took a step into your bedroom. You looked so perfect in your outfit — just like always, so why weren’t you ready? He noticed the slight struggle in your eyes when he let his roam over your body. Without a word he understood what was stopping you from being ready for your date with him.
Bucky walked closer, his arms reaching out and pulling you toward him. He snook his arms around your waist, pressing his broad chest against your back before he turned the two of you around so you were looking at the two of you in the mirror. “You're beautiful, look at ya. Ya’re the most beautiful and I'm honored that you allow me to take ya out. Don't ya think you look pretty?”
You swallowed thickly. Bucky looked stunning, always so perfectly fine and every girl was staring at him. He could have anyone and the feelings you developed slowly for him didn’t 
 help your running thoughts — they only made it worse. Especially because John had never asked you out like that, he never wanted to show you off to anyone. But Bucky acted like you were the only girl in the world — little did you know, in his world you were the only one.
“Y-You're so pretty
” You mumbled, causing Bucky to chuckle into your neck. He had his head placed on your shoulder, staring at you in his arms through the mirror with a smile. He wouldn’t leave the room, not until he’s sure it was what you wanted too — otherwise he would just carry you into the living room and cuddle with you all night. “You're so perfect, stunning. Every girl is always staring at you, and you could have them all
 And I am just me.”
“Ya don't understand, do ya? I don't care who is looking at me, they can look all they want,” Bucky said into your neck, trying to hold himself back so he wouldn’t confess everything. “Do ya remember the day where we went the first time to the ice cream shop? Ya said it ya’self, that I'm not a playboy. Let them look, they aren't out with me, are they? Plus the thing I’ve planned for the two of us is just ya and me.”
He wanted to say so much more, but he just couldn’t. At least not right now, it wasn’t that he didn’t mean it or is scared, but he wanted to prove it all to you, before he made the next step. Bucky wanted you to see that he meant everything he said and then — then he would do the next step with you.
You nodded softly, letting Bucky lead you out of the bedroom. His arms were still around your waist, his chest pressed against your back while the two of you walked through the floor toward your living room to pick up your phone and his bag.
“Do you trust me, babydoll?” With a soft smirk you turned your head to face Bucky, nodding slightly once again. “Then trust me that you're stunning and you are you but that's the point, that's what makes you special. You make yourself special.”
Bucky’s expression was soft but serious. You didn’t have words, knowing that he meant every single word he said without doubt.
“T-thank you,” you mumbled, sending a shiver through Bucky’s body. He adored the way you reacted whenever he made a compliment, so shy and just cute.
He led you to his car, still being such a gentleman and when you first thought it was just to impress you, you were now pretty sure that Bucky was always like that around someone he likes. He didn’t promise you too much when he said that a man had to carry his girl in his hands — you may not have been his girl but he did it anyway.
As much as you tried to find out where the two of you were going, he didn't tell you. Bucky was good at changing topics when it came to a surprise and you didn't get the tiniest of information out of him.
Bucky kept his soft smile the whole time while he drove the car through the streets of the town, you were pretty sure you sometimes drove in circles so he could confuse you because everything looked alike. When he stopped the car in a quiet, almost empty parking space.
“So, ya can either close ya eyes and promise me to keep them close, or I’m gonna use that pretty scarf to cover ya eyes until we’re there.” He held a soft, fluffy scarf in front of him and you trusted him enough that he wouldn’t let you run against something. You knew you would try to sneak, so you had to decide that Bucky should use the scarf to cover your eyes.
“I- maybe
 I won’t sneak?” You giggled, it didn't sound serious enough for Bucky so he just wrapped the soft fabric around your head and tied it together. You felt his warm breath against your cheek, your breath hitched and you dug your fingers into your thighs, trying to calm the butterflies in your stomach.
“So, how many fingers do you see?” Bucky chuckled, leaning back to hold his hands in front of your face. Instead of fingers he made a heart with his hands, smirking at you.
Your chuckle brought him back to reality, his eyes shot from your lips back to your covered eyes and he waited for an answer. “Mhm
. Three?” You giggled, not seeing anything because of the scarf in front of your eyes.
“Guess again,” he smirked, letting his hand fall down before he got out of the car. Bucky walked around, opening the door for you to help you out as well. He took care that you didn’t hit your head somewhere. “We are walking a bit but it’s not far, and I promise I won’t let you run into something.”
With that he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, pulling you tight against his chest to make sure he had control where to go and that you wouldn’t fall or hurt yourself somewhere.
You had never trusted someone before that much that you would have let them cover your eyes and lead you somewhere. But with Bucky it felt different, you knew that — you felt it — that he would never do anything where you could be in danger or hurt yourself. You trusted him with everything, and you used every opportunity to show him just that.
Bucky led you a bit, holding you firmly pressed against him. His fingers played with the fabric of your dress, tickling you softly. “Don’t squirm, babydoll.”
“Then don’t tickle me,” you giggled, trying to get away from his tickles. Bucky laughed, pulling you even closer but stopped tickling you.
“Can’t keep my hands to myself when it causes such sweet noises from you,” he mumbled into your neck. The two of you walked a bit further and when you inhaled deeply you smelt some flowers but also water. You didn’t know where you were, but it had to be pretty because Bucky told you that he had never brought people there with him before.
When Bucky stopped he took a step backwards, one of his hands remaining on you, while he untied the scarf around your head. The soft fabric fell down your face and you caught one side of it with your hands, the other was stuck in Bucky’s big hand.
You needed a moment to get used to the sun but when you opened your eyes and looked around your mouth drops open. Bucky had brought a blanket and food there. In front of you was also a small lake surrounded by trees and some floors in front of it. It was the most beautiful place you had ever seen.
“B-Bucky
” you said quietly, turning your head to face Bucky. He grinned at you, his eyes shining beautiful in the light of the sun combined with the way he smiled at you. He was proud of himself for making you happy and impressed with such a small gesture. “This is
 it’s amazing. I love it, it’s so beautiful.”
He let go of you to take a step away, taking out his phone. He opeed the camera and turned around, pulling you in front of him, his arm wrapping protectively around your waist as he snapped a photo of the two of you. Only when he showed you the photo did you notice why he took a step to the side — it now showed everything, the trees, the flowers, the lake, the blanket with the food and the two of you with a huge smile across your faces.
“Ya know, it’s my new background now,” Bucky explained as he made it his new background. Now you were smiling at him every time he turned his phone on. And everyone knew you were his.
You smiled, already decided that you were going to use that or a picture you would take of him or him and you as background as well. It was such a sweet idea and you would love to look at him whenever you looked at your phone.
“Now sit down. I made the cake myself!” Bucky said with a proud smirk on his face as he pointed at the cake. It was your favorite one, you told him about it and you already noticed that it just looked like the description you gave him.
“You’re the best.” With a giggle you sat down, Bucky did the same, taking a seat next to you and offering you some food and drinks.
The cake was perfect, just like you described it and you wouldn’t have know better, you would have guessed he bought it from a baker. You suggested that Bucky could become a baker, he would be rich in no time. But he just chuckled and shook his head.
His eyes roamed over your face before he looked into your eyes once again. He was the first person you didn’t mind staring into one another’s eyes for hours. “I’m only baking for my best girl.”
Your cheeks heated up and you had to look away. You were still not used to all his compliments and sweet words. And Bucky used every opportunity to make you blush, loving the way you smiled shyly at him before you had to look away for a moment. But then, you couldn’t even look away for long, and he adored the effect he had on you, he could spend all day just watching you giggle and blushing. Bucky wouldn’t mind listening to you all day either, as long as it was you who was around.
The two of you sat there, talking about everything and nothing. You had never laughed that much with someone like you did with Bucky. He knew all your weaknesses and strengths, the two of you hadn’t even talked for over two weeks but he was your best friend already. The only one you knew you could be completely honest and open around, he could read you like a book anyway.
When the sun went down, you were sitting between Bucky's legs, your back pressed against his chest. He drew small circles on your stomach while you watched the sunset. It was the most beautiful yellow followed by red until it was only the clouds that were still painted in a slight pink before it became dark around you.
You shivered lightly in Bucky arms, pressing yourself further against him. With a smirk he removed his hands from you, grasping his bag. “I have a present for ya,” he told you before he placed his bag in front of you. “Open it.”
Your slightly shaking hands opened the zipper of his backpack and your eyes narrowed when you saw just some fabric inside until you noticed what it was. Your eyes widened when you tilted your head slightly and took it out of the bag. In your hands you held a hoodie, and it wasn’t just one. It was Bucky’s football hoodie, where his number and his name were big on the back. You pulled it closer, burying your face in his hoodie and inhaling his scent. Bucky chuckled, he looked at you like a puppy in love — and he was exactly that. “Y-You give me your hoodie?”
Bucky leaned his head on your shoulder, nodding. “If ya want to. Ya can also have another one or just for yet so ya won't freeze. But actually I thought I would love the sight of my name on ya back.”
Sometime at the start of the summer break, the two of you made that unwritten plan to spend all the time together. You never asked him if you could spend some more time, neither did he. He just took you out, making sure you wanted to but slowly he had the feeling you could have moved into his apartment with him. He knew he hugged you all the time, made sure you’re happy and the urge to tell you about his true feelings got bigger with every day.
But as much as he wanted to tell you — he didn’t want to do it just yet. He wanted to give you the whole summer break to see that he didn’t have the intention to get into bed with you. Bucky wanted you to see that you were worth so much more than what John was willing to give you. Bucky wanted to show you what real love meant, he wanted you to crave him just as much as he craved you.
This night Bucky spent at your apartment, he made pudding for the two of you. The two of you were wrapped in a blanket together and he held you as close as possible. You had the best sleep in years, knowing that Bucky would be still there in the morning when you woke up. And you were right, he had you pulled onto him, your head resting on his chest and you listened to his steady heartbeat. His heartbeat and his scent had such a calming effect on you, and you used every opportunity to be as close to him as possible. His arms, his embrace felt like home.
His morning voice was the hottest you could imagine, it was slightly rougher than his usual and it sent shivers down your spine every time. Bucky almost moved into your apartment with time, he brought most of his stuff like clothes so he could spend all day and all night with you. And even though he allowed you to take his clothes if you wanted, he didn't realise he would have to wash them so often because you stopped wearing yours. So you both wore Bucky clothes — you offered him to wear yours and he once tried a dress of yours.
You took a picture of him, making it your new background. Or it was more a picture of the thick, muscular football captain in a red dress of yours, while you wore the hoodie with his name and number on his back. The two of you stood in front of the table, your chest pressed against Buckys, while he held the phone and took the picture.
As much as you loved to go out with Bucky, you also loved the times when it was just the two of you. Bucky was a perfect cook and baker. So he either cooked for the two of you or you did it together, same went for baking.
The two of you ended up as snowmen one time, it started with you accidentally blowing the flour at Bucky. He then took way too much flour and let it fall down over your head with a huge grin across his face. Little did he know that you would grab the whole bowl and throw it at him. His reaction was to run away and into the wall by accident so he was trapped between the wall and the fridge.
It was a lot to clean, especially because Bucky hugged you and was smearing all the flour he had on his clothes on yours. You were sure you could have baked a whole cake with the amount of flour the two of you used for our little snowman action.
But the most special moment for you was two weeks before school started again. Your best friend has asked you out so often, you made trips together and spent every minute together. But when he asked you to come to Steve's birthday your mouth dropped open and you didn’t know how to respond. Of course, you would have loved to but John never wanted to have you around his friends — around his team. And Steve was one of Bucky's football team members, so there would be a lot of other people too. With a lot of assurance from Bucky you agreed and there you were now.
Bucky stood with his big hand on the small of your back next to you, looking down. The two of you were in front of Steve's house and you knew that you could still say no and Bucky would have immediately drove you back home. “I-I
 Are you sure you want to be seen with me, Bucky?”
His eyes widened and he narrowed them. His hand wandered up to your shoulders to turn you toward him. His other hand settled itself on your chin and made you look directly into his intense blue eyes. “I'm more than sure that I want everyone to see us together. Babydoll, I’m not ashamed of ya, but if ya don't feel comfortable we can go home and watch movies.”
Home. You could go home. Yours, Buckys. It was more than just your apartment now, it was everything because even Bucky called it home.
“N-No, I think I can do that,” you mumbled nodding with a soft smile. You inhaled deeply, feeling Bucky's big hand take yours and interlacing your fingers with his. He then leaned down and kissed your cheek softly. You felt a shiver run down your spine, you were so in love with him but too shy to tell him — it would maybe ruin your friendship so you just enjoyed him being so close to you.
“If ya want to go home, ya gonna tell me,” Bucky said, his voice soft but leaving no room for discussion. So you nodded once again. Bucky smirked at you, knocking at the door which swung open almost immediately. The man grinning at the two of you was just as big as Bucky, his hair was way shorter and blond. His eyes were as blue as Buckys and you looked him up and down for a moment.
“Thought you won’t like to come in,” Steve said with a chuckle, letting both of you walk into his house. His eyes roamed over his friend, then over you until he noticed your interlaced fingers. Bucky squeezed your hand even more, pulling slightly  you closer to him with a raised eyebrow at Steve.
They both have a moment of silent communication. Steve knew what was going on, he knew who you were. Not because you were John's ex-girlfriend. He knew you because of Bucky, who just couldn’t stop looking at you. The two men had a lot of talks, where Bucky just needed to tell him about you, that he had to have you and that he was so fucking in love with you.
“Happy Birthday,” you said after a moment, getting both men's attention. Steve smiled at you nodding.
“Thank you. Now get inside, the others can't wait to get to know ya girl, Buck,” Steve said and walked in front of the two of you. He knew that Bucky was going to mention that you were not his girl — at least not yet — but you were his best friend. To Steve's surprise the statement never came, and Bucky just grinned down at you, his eyes shining when he led you through the hallway to the living room where the others were.
“Ya don’t mind him calling ya my girl, do ya?” Bucky asked, knowing that you didnt mind it. None of the two of you had ever said those three words yet, but he knew you felt the same for him. Bucky had seen you shivering and giggling enough whenever someone mentioned that you and Bucky were a couple. But he also noticed the soft, sad flash across your face when someone did, knowing that you were scared to fully give in to your feelings without having any voices in your mind that told you you were not worth it.
You just didn’t understand that you were everything for Bucky. You always were, you always would be. But you were sometimes stuck in your mind, thinking about all the girls who looked better than you — all the ones he could have. And then you didn’t notice that he didn’t m care about a single one of them, for Bucky it was just you. You were his one and you Would always  be his one — he would spend his lifetime to make sure you understood that there could be everyone but he only wanted you.
“I don't mind that,” you giggled, following Steve further into the living room. ‘I actually love it when people notice that I belong to you’.
Every pair of eyes was on you and Bucky when you walked into the room. Some of them were curious, some of them had an expression on their faces like ‘knew it, pal’. Through the whole evening and night Bucky introduced you to everyone with a proud smile. His hands were always somewhere on you, either around your waist or holding your hand.
His teammates were really nice, they were interested in you. And you had a lot of fun with them all, no one was mean and even the girls — mostly girlfriends of the other boys — were nice. They never looked at you with judgeful expression but they talked and laughed with you. No jealousy, no hate — just fun and a bunch of new friends.
You never would have thought it would feel amazing to be shown off by a man who owned your heart. But with Bucky it felt just perfect.
After the party you spent a few more nights with Bucky and the others, they became your friends and everyone knew that the two of you really needed to confess your love for one another. Most of the time Bucky was either hugging you from behind or you were sitting on his lap. There was no just you or just Bucky — it was always you and Bucky.
The weekend before college started again Bucky had to go to his apartment again. He called you every night, sleeping with you on the phone or he just watched you half of the night because he still couldn't keep his eyes off of you. Heeas addicted to you, you were like his air — he needed you to live.
So while he had some talks with the team and the coach and also organized all of his school stuff, you did the same. Most of the time you wrote him messages and waited for his response. Until the sunday before school, where you felt like your heart was ripped out of your chest.
John: Hey, I'm sorry I broke up with you. It was a shit decision and I couldn’t stop thinking about you all summer break. I love you.
John: I know you love me too. You know there is no one who loves you, they all just play with you. You're pretty but they only want to fuck you, come back to me and let me make it better this time.
Sobs and tears wrecked your body, you couldn’t  believe him. He hadn’t  tried to talk to you the whole summer break and suddenly he wanted you back. And maybe he was right, no one else showed any interest in you, only John. But now you had Bucky, who spent all summer break with you, he showed you what it meant to be loved even though he was ‘just’ your best friend. Bucky could have asked to have sex with you the whole time but he never did, he just wanted to cuddle, to see you happy, so maybe John was wrong and there was someone who loved you without just wanting to have sex.
Bucky wrote you a few — a lot of messages — and tried to call you but you didn’t answer him. Maybe he wanted to tell you that he had enough of you, that he was going to be happier with someone else. You didn’t want him to hear your broken voice and you didn’t want him to see your tears because of John's messages.
You didn’t love him anymore, but the voices in your mind — the ones John could control so perfectly — screamed at you, that he was right. So you just wrapped yourself into a blanket and watched all the movies Bucky loved, making your heart ache even more, especially when his scent came into your nose whenever you moved because of the hoodie you were wearing – his hoodie.
Bucky told you that he would be busy all day with the coach and the team but it didn't stop him from sending one after another message, calling you every hour until he started to speak messages on your voicemail.
Bucky: Hi, babydoll. How are you? Just checking after you before the next meeting starts, would prefer to be cuddled up with you.
Bucky: Are you okay? Do you need anything?
Bucky: I asked the coach to make it short so I can come over but he has a lot more shit for us to do, I'm sorry.
Bucky: Fuck, are you alright?
Bucky: Please, answer me. I come over!
You read the messages but never opened the chat. Tears streamed down your cheeks while you stared at your background and the incoming messages. 10 missed calls: Bucky. You just couldn’t bring yourself to answer him, to tell him what was going on and you knew you couldn't find an excuse to tell Bucky.
Around half an hour later Bucky knocked at your door, calling out your name. He called out your name. Bucky always used your pet name, the one he gave you but right now he called you by your name. His voice was broken, Bucky sounded worried but you didn’t want to move, your body felt way too heavy.
After a moment you heard the familiar sound of the key in your door. You gave Bucky your keys a while ago so he could come home whenever he wanted. He stormed into your apartment, shrugging off his shoes and jacket before he literally ran to you into the living room. His heart broke at the sight of you laying there, crying and wrapped into his hoodie and a blanket.
“Babydoll!” He said, crouching down next to you. Bucky eyes roamed over your body, trying to find something that could have hurt you but when he didn’t notice anything he narrowed his eyes. He brought one of his big hands to your cheeks, wiping away the tears and a few strands out of your face. “Look at me please, what's going on?”
You hadn’t even noticed that you closed your eyes until he asked you to look at him. You inhaled deeply, your body shaking as you slowly opened your eyes. His blue eyes pierced into yours immediately, he looked worried. You had never seen him like that, almost broken. More tears fell down your cheeks as you looked at him, noticing the love and care that's mirroring in the eyes you fell in love with.
You shook your head slightly, you didn’t want him to hear your broken voice. Bucky got up, wrapping his arms around you to lift you and sit down with you on his lap. Your head fell down against his shoulder and you inhaled his scent, feeling the warmth of him against you. Bucky wrapped his arms tightly around you, pulling you as close as possible.
“You came
” you mumbled into his shoulder.
“You didn't answer,” he replied, leaning his head against yours. You felt a bit of wetness against the side of your forehead, noticing that Bucky was finally relaxing since he had you safe in his arms. You never thought he would cry because he was worried about you, but he did — maybe even relieved that you're fine.
“But the meetings. He could throw you out of the team,” you said, leaning back slightly. You looked into Bucky's face, seeing the soft smile on his face but also his red eyes. Slight trails of tears slid down his cheeks and you captured his face to wipe them away. Bucky tilted his head slightly, leaning more into your soft touch.
“It doesn't matter. Nothing matters when it comes to you, babydoll.” You inhaled deeply, leaning your forehead against his. “But I told him that my girl needs me and that I will win every fucking game this season when you're at the side in my jersey. You will watch the games, right?”
You chuckled softly, nodding. Bucky just came because he was worried, he didn't mind that he could be thrown out of the team — he came because he was worried. And you planned to go to his games anyway, but now it made your heart beat even faster. His girl. His jersey.
“Are you going to tell me what happened? You won't just ignore my messages and calls,” Bucky asked, his voice soft. His breath was warm against your lips and you closed your eyes for a moment.
“John wrote me
” you mumbled, feeling Bucky tensing. Without him asking you knew what he wanted to ask ‘What did he say? Did he hurt you?’ “He said
 he said that he wants me back and that no other guy wants me anyway. Unless it's about sex, so you know
”
Bucky nodded, leaning back on the couch. He brought some distance between the two of you to look into your eyes. “Do you want to go back to him? Whatever your answer is, I
” Bucky trailed off, closing his eyes to take a shaky breath before he looked at you again. Something in his eyes switched and you squirmed slightly. “Whatever your answer is, I want you to know that you're really loved by me. And I want you for more than just sex. If you want to go back to John I will accept that, but I just— I want you to know that I love you, forever already and it will never change.”
Bucky's confession caused your jaw to drop open. You thought about a lot that he could say but hearing him confess his feelings for you wasn't one of them. It was the most obvious but you felt so insecure, so scared that it wasn't what you thought.
“Iïżœïżœ You love me but you would let me go back to John?” You asked, you had so many thoughts but that was the first that came past your lips. Bucky nodded, a sad smile flashing over his face.
“I don't say I would like it. But I don’t want to be the barrier that stops you from being happy. When you love someone, you're willing to break yourself to see them happy,” Bucky said, another tear rolling down his face. He was scared to say those words, he was scared you would go back to John but he knew he had to accept whatever you thought was best for you. “I'm willing to give everything for you because I love you.”
You smiled softly, the urge to punch him grew about his words. You were never more happy than the weeks of summer break with Bucky. So how could he even think about breaking himself for you? “You're an idiot.”
“At least I'm your idiot,” he smiled softly, shurgging. You stared into his eyes, nodding while he brought your hand to his chest, pressing it down just above his heart. You could feel the steady rhythm of his heart against your hand and you sighed softly.
“I can’t give ya the whole world
 not the one ya think at least. But I can give ya my world — our world. I can make everything shine for ya like I took every star and gave it to ya,” he mumbled, reminding you of what he said before summer break. “But I can tell ya, I'm so in love with ya. My heart, it's beating for you — only for ya. You're my world, everything for me.
You leaned closer to him, until there is barely an inch between the two of you. You smiled softly, his words and gesture making your heart beat faster and a warmth spreading inside of you. “When you're willing to break yourself for me because you think I would ever be happier with someone who isn’t you, then I have bad news. There is no one who makes me happier than you. And I'm willing to fix everything that broke when the thought that someone could be better than you crossed your mind.”
“Can I kiss you now, or do you want to tell me you love me in another way than you just did?” He asked, chuckling softly. You didn’t say those three words but you didn’t  have to. You told him that you loved him with so many more words but in the most perfect way he could have ever imagined.
You leaned even closer, allowing him to finally press his soft, plump lips against yours. You could taste both of your tears while he deepened the kiss softly. Bucky pulled you even closer, your hands wrapped around his neck and you played with his bun, making him growl playfully into the kiss.
After a moment you pulled away, panting softly. Both of you had heated cheeks and you leaned your forehead against Bucky's shoulder to hide your growing smirk. “I know that ya smiling,” Bucky said, his accent back and you melted into his embrace, giggling softly. Neither of you had to say anything about the kiss — it was indescribably perfect. “How long have you been in love with me already?” you asked, turning your head, still resting it against his shoulder. Bucky drew small circles on your back, a low chuckle escaped his lips.
“Forever
” he said. “I'm not sure, but it's like forever. And then before summer break, my heart broke when I saw you there so sad. I could have told you I love you, fucked you and could have helped you to get over John but I wanted to show you what love means before i confess my feelings. I could have told you at the beginning of summer break but I wanted you to know how it feels to be loved and cared for, how to treat the girl you love right. I wanted you to be just as much in love with me as I am with you.”
“Then congratulations, you made me fall in love harder than I thought I could ever fall in love. And I don't love John anymore, long ago I did but I don't, I just
” you trailed off, letting your fingers wander over Bucky's neck, admiring the goosebumps. “His words, they just hurt.”
Bucky grinned, having already a perfect idea for the next day. “Babydoll, i don't want you to feel that i just use you to make you jealous, because I really fucking love you, but
”
“I love you too, but what?” You giggled, wrapping your arms tighter around Bucky's neck. You kissed your way along his jaw, pulling him in another kiss before you listened to his plan.
— —
The next day — the first day of school you were walking next to Bucky from his car toward the building. He held your hand tightly and you felt a lot of people staring at you, maybe it was because of the man next to you, but maybe it could have also been because of

“Y/N!” John shouted behind you and when you turned around his face was pale. He thought you were wearing the hoodie with Bucky's number and name on your back to make him jealous but when he saw the thick man next to you, holding your hand, his eyes narrowed. “Why are you wearing his name, why are you holding his hand?”
You didn't plan to have that conversation in front of everyone but you didn't mind it either. Bucky gave you a strength you never thought you had. With a soft smile and a look at Bucky you inhaled deeply before looking at John, smile fading away.
“I wear his name on my back because it belongs there. I hold his hand because he’s my boyfriend. And instead of being ashamed and hiding our relationship like you did, he likes to let everyone know that I belong to him. Bucky doesn't mind, that everyone sees us together.”
“I actually do love to let everyone know that this pretty girl is mine. She is mine and she will be forever. And ya, Walker, can fuck off. Ya didn't know how to treat her right but don't worry, I love her enough to make ya shit up to her,” Bucky growled before he grasped your chin.
It wasn’t part of the plan, you knew what he was going to do but you didn't care about the plan to just wear Bucky's hoodie to show John that you were with Bucky now. Bucky turned your head toward him, pressing his lips to yours and you sighed softly, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him even closer.
The people around you clapped and screamed about this news. Who watched Bucky knew that he had the biggest crush on you. Even Bucky's whole football team jumped and shouted like they just won a game. You heard John muttering ‘but he is my rival, and so are you now’ but you couldn't have cared less.
Bucky smirked against your lips. “Mine, all mine, babydoll. You belong to me, just like I belong to you, I know.” He chuckled and pulled you into another kiss, letting you know that everything he said was true. He loved you with his whole heart, his soul.
You could feel his heart against your chest, feeling it beating the same rhythm yours was beating. His words from the day before where he confessed his love echoed through your mind. And suddenly everything made sense, everything lit up — no fear, no doubt. Bucky loved you — he really loved you. This was different, it was more than you ever had with John, more than you ever felt for the other one. Buckys and your heart beated in the same rhythm, they were connected — you were connected. He had used his whole summer break to prove that he loved you, to let you see how much worth you had, how much you meant to him. And finally, he was able to let his girl know, to show you his real feelings. This man — your man, your Bucky — he belonged to you, just like you belonged to him. You would take care of one another, love one another like nobody else ever did. He showed you the whole summer break that you were his one and now the two of you had the rest of your lives to be just happy with one another. Your journey, your life together had just started — in the most perfect way ever.
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floydsglasses · 7 months ago
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I just read ‘Way out There’ and holy shit I’m obsessed with Jasmine and Mickey, they’re perfect together!!
“Did you break something in there?” He asks.
Her eyes widened, embarrassed. She leaned over taking it from him. “ I got mad and kicked the panel .” she writes.
He covered his mouth to stifle his laugh, she rolled her eyes at him. “I’m sorry.” He signed to her , she shrugged.
I loved that part so much especially since it was the first time in such a long time that either of them had experienced a lighthearted moment đŸ„čđŸ„čđŸ„č
“I’m supposed to be on watch, remember to protect you.” She tells him, he sits up.
“You can sleep, I’ll take the first watch.” Mickey reassures her, she shook her head.
“No, you’re my responsibility.” JJ states, his heart skipped a beat at her determination.
I love how quickly they were already looking out for each other!!
Them talking about what their lives used to be like had me so emotional
“This world is so goddamn lonely
 it’s suffocating.” His breath shook at his last words. That part made me cry!! Poor sweet Mickey! 😭😭😭
But I was later cheered back up by them dancing together: “ I’m giving you what middle school you didn’t get.” That line gave me butterflies!! I also love how the mixtape was from the original squad!
Some of my other favorite parts were them smoking weed and mickey asking how the sex was 😂😂😂
I really enjoyed getting to know the backstory on the radicals. And Jasmine making a bomb was so badass!! I can’t wait to see who is on the island awaiting them!!
Thank you so much for tagging me!! â€ïžđŸ˜˜
OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH AND YOU ARE SO WELCOME!!! ❀
This one was a lot harder for me because I was definitely trying to not make the stories the same, that's why you see Mickey not knowing ASL. Oh once all of these stories are completely done everything you have read will make sense in the end.
And I'm gonna warn you, that you are not prepared for Bob's version of a quiet place because you poor boy is going to be going through it, but it will be fun.
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beckyandrick · 2 years ago
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See you later, Boston! ❀
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It’s been just over a week since we packed up our home and took a one way flight to San Jose, Costa Rica. The last 10 days or so before the move was a whirlwind. I think it was only as I sat down on the plane that I started to process it all.
This move has been the definition of bittersweet. We absolutely LOVED our life in Boston. We made lifelong friends as a family, Kai had a great school community, we loved living in Southie, the northeast is the perfect combination of seasons for outdoor sports all year long, I am having so much fun in my job, Rick fell in love with mountain biking in the area and it has been so great to be a short flight from the grandparents. To say it’s been hard to leave is an understatement.
The week before we left was a series of ‘see you later’ events. Not goodbye
because if there’s anything I’ve learned from moving countries 3 times in the last decade it’s that the world can be a really small place if you make it that way.
Thanks to our sweet friend Julia for organizing, Kai got one last Southie beach day with her buddies and we all got to give and get plenty of hugs.
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Seeing her give Ben a big hug was hard. He was probably her first good buddy in Boston and they’ve spent countless hours swimming, fishing, biking and even doing little triathlons together. But all the more reason to get together again soon!
Then I had to say ‘see you later’ to my Thursday running crew. These girls have been my sanity
especially during the pandemic lockdown when the only thing we could really do was run and chat. We’ve celebrated birthdays, milestones, achievements and each other on those early morning runs. I’m so grateful for this crew and for the effort to get together for a nice dinner out before we left (thank you Juli for organizing and coming home from Canada!!). These girls clean up well! ;) I may have ugly cried all the way home after our last run together. ❀
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The ‘see you later’ we all dreaded was Kai’s best friend Eliza. They are both only children and really created a bond the last few years. Eliza’s mom described the move well
their first broken heart. 😱 The girls soaked up lots of play dates and sleepovers the last few weeks and have already been texting and calling each other from afar. I’m hopeful that technology will keep this girls close until we can get together again. ❀
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We got super lucky during our time in Southie with a bit of Ohio. First, we hit the jackpot with our townhouse neighbors. Kara, Bill, ‘baby Thayer’ who grew up before our eyes and became big brother to ‘baby Shep’ are also from Ohio. So we bonded over the Buckeyes and small town Ohio. We had pizza dinners across our respective rooftops at the height of the pandemic and enjoyed watching the kids play and grow together the last several years. Kai would always excitedly run downstairs anytime she heard the boys playing out back. We didn’t anticipate just how hard it would be to leave the family we’ve almost lived with over the past 4 years. Thanks for being amazing neighbors and friends!
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And finally, our other piece of home we have had is my cousin Megan. Megan moved to Southie last summer to start her career after graduating from Ohio State. After having ‘Meggy Megan’ babysit once, Kai would never accept any other sitter. So we planned our date nights around Megan’s availability and everybody won! It’s been sooo nice to have family in the neighborhood! Take care of Southie for us, Meg!
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And just like that, the house was packed and it became real.
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Ashe left with pet transport the day before we did. While we always know they take such great care of our dogs
it’s a hard moment. If only we could tell him what’s happening and we’ll see him soon. đŸ„č
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We had been so busy checking items off the list just to get it all done that it all seemed to happen in a blink of an eye and next thing we knew we were at the airport
with 7 bags, one bike, multiple carryons and heavy hearts.
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My good friend Julia drove us to the airport (thank you, thank you!) so after some quick tears and hugs, we were off.
As the saying goes
how lucky I am to have something so hard to say goodbye to. It’s so true.
While we are thrilled about the next chapter in Costa Rica, our Boston chapter was pretty amazing, thanks to the people who became our family. We love you all and miss you already. Come to Costa Rica!!
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milla-frenchy · 10 months ago
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Ok let's go, final chapter, and I'm totally ok đŸ„Č
“What, don’t you recognize me?” he says. You do, though. Of course you do. He was the one Joel beat the shit out of in that alley.
You mf!!
You hear it before you feel it, leaving you blinking in shock for a moment. Life may not have been great in the apocalypse, but no one’s actually hit you before. Not like this. Your cheek and eyes sting sharply. Ball Cap certainly hadn’t held back. “Don’t lie. We’ve seen them coming in and out of your place, you stupid cunt.” When he hits you this time, it’s less of a rage reaction and more for fun with a closed fist. You’re still reeling when you register the heat first, then the slick, sickening drip of blood from your nose down your lips.
Fuuuuuuck I'm hyperventiliating rn đŸ˜­đŸ˜©đŸ˜©đŸ˜©
“You better hope they show up soon,” Ball Cap snarls at Mustache. “Or there won’t be much left for them to find.” It’s true, no matter how he means it. You’re not suited for this. You wish you were a secret badass with balls of steel, but you’ve given pretty much all the fight you had.
I'm just a mess, leave her alone please, pleeeeaaaase 😓
He takes them out first, silent as the falling snow, which melts as it lands in pools of hot blood.
Omg this is so beautiful đŸ˜â€ïž
“Tell us where she is,” Joel says before pointedly shifting his gaze to where Tess holds the knife buried, “and maybe you’ll be able to salvage that arm.” He gives in so quickly he might have been able to, if they had left him alive.
They're such badasses
Tess is on the other end of it. It’s hard to conflate her with anyone else; they never made a girl superhero more badass than Tess.
If I wasn't already in love with her, I would be now. I love your Tess, Toni
You look up at his blank eyes. There’s viscera splattered on his shirt and face. When you crane your neck to look at Tess, still behind you with both hands on your shoulders, she’s soaked in gore. “Not yours, right?” you say. “Not a drop,” she promises. You look back at Joel. “Now, please,” you whisper, even though it makes your stomach turn. “Get her out of here,” Joel says.
I am so amazed by this rescue. I know you're going to break my heart later, but this? Jesus, that's so good
They play you like a harp, keeping you trapped between their legs and plucking pretty sounds one after another from your taut body. There are a lot of orgasms all around, and you’re not even trying to keep track. Your head is blissfully empty, each climax wringing your brain like a sponge. At some point, you push Joel off so you can suck his cock. Tess helps herself to feast from your cunt while you do, and somehow, when you look up, Joel’s buried his face in her as well. The circle shifts and warps but never breaks. Eventually, they get you on your back again, and after a bit of whining on your end, Tess sits on your face while Joel has your cunt again. He switches between licking and fucking, and you actually pass out a bit this way.
Fuck, this is so hot seriously. These 3 are perfect together and I love them and I want them to stay together until the end of their lives đŸ’•đŸ„°đŸ˜â€ïž Right? Toni? Please? đŸ„čđŸ„č
On your loneliest nights, you think of them. You hope they’re okay. It’s never a guarantee in this world. You like to think they’re wrapped up warm and safe in bed. On cold, sleepless nights under the starry sky, Joel likes to think the same of you.
This is the 3rd time this chapter has made me cry. And this time, it's even worse than the previous two, as if the fact of rb it made the reading true and inevitable. And that's probably why I didn't do it right away.
I always say that what I look for when reading fics, is emotion. Woah, Toni ❀
I don't think I've ever been so moved.
Thank you for this journey. These three will stay in my heart for a long time. And I think this is the perfect ending. Even if it hurts ❀
I'm gonna buy a box of tissues now
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ain't no rest for the wicked - chapter five
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ain't no rest for the wicked series
five: way down below
series masterlist | prev chapter
Tess Servopoulos x f!reader x Joel Miller
words: 4k
summary: After sneaking out of Joel and Tess's apartment, you wake up in an unfamiliar place.
warnings: creator chose not to use warnings, dark-ish Joel and Tess, smuggler!Joel, smuggler!Tess, boston QZ, QZ life, poorly negotiated d/s-style dynamics, poor communication, enthusiastic consent, oral sex (m & f receiving), p in v, threesome, description of violence & wounds, canon-typical violence, canon-typical killing.
Welcome to the end, my friends. I omitted a specific warning due to spoilers. If you need to know before you read, DM me.
also on ao3
dividers by @saradika-graphics
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When you come to, head pounding, it’s on an old dining chair with cheap metal legs and a moth-eaten seat. Your hands have gone to pins and needles from the rope that burns when you try to flex them, bootless feet in a similar predicament. The cloth stuffed in your mouth tastes metallic, though you don’t seem to have bled.
You’re swimming through static. You think you might throw up.
Wherever you are is long abandoned, which doesn’t really help narrow it down. It was maybe a break room, once, with a shattered microwave and the cupboards askew.
A tall, spindly man in a Mets hat leans against the counter. He’s bundled in a jacket while yours is missing.
You take comfort in that it’s the only other piece of clothing you’re missing. You wiggle your toes, trying to coax a modicum of warmth back in them.
Ball Cap snubs his cigarette on the counter and leaves it there. “Nice to see you again,” he says.
You wish it wasn’t to you.
“What, don’t you recognize me?” he says.
You do, though. Of course you do. He was the one Joel beat the shit out of in that alley.
“You sure were a talker before. Aren’t you gonna give me that same offer? Your mouth for your life?”
You squeeze your eyes shut and try to think. Come on. Any time now, brain.
He seems to be alone. Could you take him? Probably not. Is he armed? Yes, definitely. He had struck you over the head with the butt of a gun last night.
At least, you think it was last night.
He stomps over to you and yanks your head back to look at him. “Aren’tcha gonna answer me, you little whore?”
When he sees the gag, he throws back his head and laughs. “Shit, right. Well, no point in this,” he tugs the knot loose and tosses the cloth to the ground. “Nobody’s gonna come help you, no matter how loud you scream. And kinda wanna hear it. Y’see, the boss man didn’t take kindly—”
You manage to hold your tongue, due largely in part to the tackiness of your mouth, but your lip curls a little. Is this guy for real? He’s fucking villain monologuing?
“Hey,” a nasally voice says. “Better not be starting without me.”
The newcomer is tall like Ball Cap, but beefier. He’d be more intimidating if he wasn’t sniffling and wheezing, his nose a constant faucet of mucus that pooled on his upper lip.
He coughs deeply for a minute, fist against his open mouth. The part of your brain that’s actively pretending you aren’t going to die tonight is worried about catching whatever he’s splattering across the room.
“Don’t you want to know what we want with you?” Slimy Mustache says.
“Not really,” you say before you can stop yourself.
You hear the rattle in his lungs as he steps closer. “No, you already know, don’t you?” His hand lifts, a finger stroking down your cheek. You flinch away, squeezing your eyes shut.
Slimy Mustache laughs. “Don’t worry, we’re not going to start the show without your friends.”
Friends? You don’t have—aw, fuck.
“Not my friends,” you say. “I didn’t—they were strangers, too.”
You hear it before you feel it, leaving you blinking in shock for a moment. Life may not have been great in the apocalypse, but no one’s actually hit you before.
Not like this.
Your cheek and eyes sting sharply. Ball Cap certainly hadn’t held back.
“Don’t lie. We’ve seen them coming in and out of your place, you stupid cunt.”
When he hits you this time, it’s less of a rage reaction and more for fun with a closed fist. You’re still reeling when you register the heat first, then the slick, sickening drip of blood from your nose down your lips.
“Knock it off, man,” says Slimy Mustache. “He said we had to wait for them. Ain’t gonna negotiate if she’s dead.”
“They’ll kill you,” you lie, grimacing as it invites the coppery tang into your mouth.
Ball Cap grins with a set of unusually shiny, straight teeth for a thug at the end of the world. “Nah, honey, that’s why we have you.”
You spit blood at his feet. He moves to backhand you, but Mustache tries to stop him, and it knocks him a little off course. His hand is decked out in gaudy rings, and the edge of one snags on your cheek. You gasp, and it turns into a whimper as the pain bleeds through.
“You better hope they show up soon,” Ball Cap snarls at Mustache. “Or there won’t be much left for them to find.”
It’s true, no matter how he means it. You’re not suited for this. You wish you were a secret badass with balls of steel, but you’ve given pretty much all the fight you had.
And you know no one’s coming for you.
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When Tess wakes, the sun peeks through the window aggressively, and she has to shield her eyes to see Joel. He’s shaking her shoulder gently to let her know he’s leaving. He’s already bundled in his coat and hat, tugging gloves on. It’s unusual, but he doesn’t look distressed.
She sits up and stretches. “Where ya going?” she says, but she thinks she knows since the bed is empty and the apartment is quiet.
“Just gonna make sure she got home okay,” he says and kisses her. “Musta snuck out sometime in the middle of the night.”
“Yeah, I think I spooked her when I asked her to stay,” Tess admits.
“M’sure she’s fine,” he says, but he isn’t looking at her, and that’s when she realizes she misread him earlier. He is worried.
“I’m comin’,” she says, already on her feet. “You go on, take the long way, and I’ll meet you.”
He nods.
There’s only one lurking outside your apartment, but two in nearby alleys on standby. He takes them out first, silent as the falling snow, which melts as it lands in pools of hot blood.
He lets the third man catch him. There’s a pistol in his face, but he knows he’s not really in danger.
“Where’s the girl?” he growls.
“Don’t worry, we’re just showin’ her some of the same hospitality you showed my brother,” the man tells him.
He seems to think that by pointing a gun at Joel, he has the upper hand.
He doesn’t think that for long. Not when Tess’s knife sinks into his arm and twists, the gun clattering to the ground as he reflexively jerks. Joel picks it up and stuffs it in his waistband as casually as if he had just adjusted his belt. His jaw ticks as his hand wraps around the man’s throat.
“I suggest you listen real close,” Tess says, voice low and thick with danger.
“Tell us where she is,” Joel says before pointedly shifting his gaze to where Tess holds the knife buried, “and maybe you’ll be able to salvage that arm.”
He gives in so quickly he might have been able to, if they had left him alive.
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“Think we made a mistake,” Ball Cap drawls. “They arenïżœïżœt comin’ for this bitch.”
You don’t know how long you’ve been here, but you keep slipping in and out of awareness. Floating through something like a dream, but not enough to escape reality. Worse yet, you keep snapping back to the world, having been close to escape or rescue, a sick hope still brewing in your brain.
“That’s too bad,” Slimy Mustache says with an exaggerated pout. “I wanted them to watch.”
“Guess your pussy wasn’t good enough to save you,” Ball Cap says.
You keep your mouth shut. They’re still pretending they need a reason to hurt you, and you sure as hell aren’t going to give it to them.
They’re right, though. The late afternoon sun is dragging wearily through the clouds.
You don’t blame them. You knew the danger. You didn’t just open your door to let the tornado in; you had sex with the—no, okay, you have to retire this metaphor.
It’s okay. You knew what this was.
And what it wasn’t.
Still, you think. You’re not really keen on dying here and even less keen on what you’re pretty sure will precede it.
“I dunno. I still think we should find out for ourselves,” Slimy Mustache says.
“Not a fuckin’ chance,” someone snarls behind Slimy Mustache, a knife to his throat.
You must be delirious from fear and blood loss because your first thought is that motherfucking Batman is here. You’re at a point where you apparently genuinely believe, if only for a moment, that it’s more likely for Bruce Fucking Wayne to show up than Joel. Except why would Batman be in Boston?
There’s a gun resting against Ball Cap’s head; his namesake knocked to the dusty ground. Tess is on the other end of it. It’s hard to conflate her with anyone else; they never made a girl superhero more badass than Tess. Not that you’d say no to Wonder Woman, but who would?
You close your eyes. You’re not getting tricked by this dream again.
“That’s it, sweetheart, keep ‘em shut, okay?” Tess says.
There’s a lot of rustling fabric and soft, wet sounds muffled by agonized cries.
When hands touch your shoulders, you flinch.
“It’s just me,” she says. “Hold still just one more minute, okay? And don’t look.”
You squeeze your eyes shut tighter as she goes around the back of your chair, her hand never leaving your shoulder. It’s easier to breathe with her touch to anchor you, even through your swollen nose.
With one hand, she flicks open a blade and cuts through enough of the rope that she can tug the rest away. She doesn’t have to come up with a way to free your ankles without letting go, because Joel’s already cutting the knots.
“I gotcha,” he’s murmuring. “We’ve got ya, sunflower. Hey, look at me.”
You do, hesitantly opening your sore eyes. His broad body is blocking everything else, though there’s clear whimpering and groaning behind him. He cups your face in his hands, turning it to look at the cut on your cheek and survey the swelling.
“Don’t,” you mumble. “It’s not pretty.”
He ignores you. “We’re gonna get you home. But first, I need to know—you want me to drag it out or just kill ‘em now?”
You look up at his blank eyes. There’s viscera splattered on his shirt and face. When you crane your neck to look at Tess, still behind you with both hands on your shoulders, she’s soaked in gore.
“Not yours, right?” you say.
“Not a drop,” she promises.
You look back at Joel. “Now, please,” you whisper, even though it makes your stomach turn.
“Get her out of here,” Joel says.
“No,” Tess surprises both of you. “I’ll take care of it. I don’t think she can walk on her own.”
You remember Tess in the kitchen with the chef’s knife and how you thought she looked like an angel when you first met. They both do, now.
“I’ll meet you there,” she says, her tone offering no negotiation.
Joel doesn’t argue, though you think he looks disappointed. Like he wanted the kill.
You’re just barely aware that it should scare you. It doesn’t.
He scoops you up with no problem, as if it doesn’t strain his aging knees.
“I think I can walk,” you say.
He doesn’t dignify you with anything more than a shake of his head.
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It’s not a long walk. The setting sun frames him in gold, the blood gone dark and sticky. You’re only a block from the alley you first met them in, which in turn is only two from your apartment. But by the time you get there, you’re asleep against his chest.
He sets you down gently on the bed, meaning to go looking for your first aid kit, but you dig your fingers into his shirt.
“I ain’t leavin’,” he says, gently prying them off. “Just gonna get you cleaned up, okay?”
It’s so hard to open your eyes, but you manage a few seconds to take him in. You nod and let go, but the deep pout is unshakable.
He opens the door to the bathroom and flicks the light on, stepping over the towel threshold and then nearly stomping on who, if he was forced to guess, is Georgie. Both mice scatter immediately, luckily into the wall instead of out into the open apartment.
He shuts the door to prevent an escape and rifles around your cabinet until he produces a mostly empty bottle of rubbing alcohol and some bandages.
You wake again when he sits on the bed at your side, booted feet still on the ground.
“Sit up for me, sunflower,” he murmurs, helping you up as you groan and popping a pillow behind your back. “Look at me.”
He waits until you do and hands you a glass of water. While you sip at it, he gets a better look at your nose.
“It’s not broken,” he says, and you sigh, shoulders slumping. “It’s going to be swollen for a few days, though.”
You flinch back from his touch but try to work through it. “Okay,” you whisper.
He cleans your face, murmuring to you all the while about what he’s doing. You hiss when he wipes the gash on your cheek, tears welling up at the sting.
There’s a familiar knock at the door, but Tess doesn’t wait for anyone to answer; she just slips inside.
“Not gonna need stitches, either,” he says. “You got real lucky.”
“Don’t feel lucky,” you mumble. Your eyes dart to the horseshoe. Both of theirs follow yours, and they exchange a look.
“Think you can take a bath?” she asks.
You shake your head.
“What if I get in there with you?” she offers.
You think about it, biting your lip, and nod.
Joel gets the tub filling while Tess gently peels you from your battered clothes. When he comes out of the bathroom, he’s scrubbed the blood from his skin and has his shirt hanging up to dry.
Your bath isn’t very big, but you make it work, nestled close between her legs. It’s maybe the least sexually charged moment you’ve had with them. Joel kneels on a towel and washes the blood from both of you. None of you speak.
It does help. Having it cleaned from you, having it be them who do it. Joel’s firm hand scrubbing the blood and dirt away, Tess’s steady embrace keeping you grounded.
Joel helps you each out of the bath and dries you off, swatting away your hands when you try to do it yourself. The look in his eyes is still kind of distant, so you stop protesting and let him do what he needs to do.
No one bothers with clothes. There’s no point. While the bath may not have been sexual, whatever is happening now definitely is.
You’re on your back in bed, wet hair splayed out on your pillow. Joel is on your left, and Tess is on your right, and their hands are everywhere. You clutch at them in return with each of yours.
They’re passing you back and forth for kisses, deep, consuming things with teeth and tongue and spit. You understand the “beast with two backs” thing now. Except, how would it work with three backs? Are you some kind of mutated monstrosity squished into a triangle? A pyramid of flesh and sweat and moans?
“Stop thinkin’ so much,” Joel growls against your neck, and you’re inclined to obey when his fingers find your clit. Thoughts aren’t super useful right now, and you’d like to keep most of them at bay anyway.
Even that’s a little too close, and you must tense because Tess nips at your ear and whispers, “Just focus on us, okay? Just us.”
They make it easy to lose yourself in their hands and warm mouths. You genuinely can’t tell who touches you where until you end up with three fingers in Tess’s cunt.
Joel rolls your lower half and yanks your legs where he’d like, leaving you contorted with your top half focused on Tess. He plunges into your pussy while you mouth at her tits. One of her hands cups your head to her breasts, and the other gropes at your own.
Neither of them are being rough with you, but they aren’t treating you like glass, either. You really fucking appreciate it, even if you don’t register it right away. Even while he fucks into you, Joel can’t stop his hands from roaming, smoothing over your hips and thighs and stomach.
They play you like a harp, keeping you trapped between their legs and plucking pretty sounds one after another from your taut body. There are a lot of orgasms all around, and you’re not even trying to keep track. Your head is blissfully empty, each climax wringing your brain like a sponge.
At some point, you push Joel off so you can suck his cock. Tess helps herself to feast from your cunt while you do, and somehow, when you look up, Joel’s buried his face in her as well. The circle shifts and warps but never breaks.
Eventually, they get you on your back again, and after a bit of whining on your end, Tess sits on your face while Joel has your cunt again. He switches between licking and fucking, and you actually pass out a bit this way.
When you wake, it’s to Joel getting out of bed and pulling his clothes back on. He catches sight of the look breaking across your face and shakes his head.
“I’ll be back. Runnin’ over to get her some clean clothes ‘n stuff.”
You settle back down. Tess slides an arm over your waist, and you roll over to snuggle up to her.
The next time you wake up, it’s because of the nightmares. You jerk awake with a cry, and she’s right there, rubbing your back and coaxing you to lie down.
“I know, sunflower. I’m so sorry,” she murmurs as you cry.
“I was so scared,” you whisper in the safety of the night, voice wavering.
“I know, baby. You were so brave, though.”
You don’t feel like you were very brave. You feel like you let the creeps crawl into your skin and ruin everything.
When Joel gets back, you’re still awake.
“Good,” he says. “I didn’t want to have to wake ya, but I need you to eat.”
“M’not hungry,” you say. Tess is up and getting dressed in a soft tee and sweats. She tosses you another set, and you put them on without thinking about your own clothes in the dresser.
“I know,” she says. “But you need to. It’s nothin’ much; just need to get something in ya.”
“I brought something for the pain, but you can’t have it on an empty stomach,” Joel says.
You give in and unscrew the thermos he hands you. It’s chicken noodle soup, and he presses warm bread, wrapped in cloth, into your lap.
Once you’ve satisfied their expectations, Joel drops a round white pill into your hand. “I can only give you one,” he says, laced with raw guilt. “But I got some ibuprofen for ya, too, for later.”
He hands you a glass but pauses. “It’s gonna make you sleep,” he warns.
“Okay,” you say and chase the pill with a swig of water. “I trust you.”
He winces a little, almost imperceptibly.
“I’m going to run out and talk to someone ‘bout the mess we made,” Tess says.
Joel scowls. “Can’t it wait ‘till later?”
“You know damn well it can’t,” she hisses like she doesn’t want you to hear.
“I’m sorry,” you say. They both look at you, and you sniffle. “I’m sorry I’m trouble, I’m s—”
“You cut that out right now,” Tess snaps, but her face softens right after, and she comes to sit on the bed beside you. “It ain’t your fault. We should be apologizing to you.”
“Please don’t,” you whisper.
She and Joel exchange a look.
“Alright,” she concedes. She kisses your forehead. “I’ll be back soon. Joel’ll stay with ya, okay?”
You sniffle again but nod.
They share a significant glance when she reaches the door, but say nothing. Joel locks it behind her and slides back under the covers. He tugs you to his chest, and you melt into his warm, broad shelter.
They phase in and out of your apartment all night, but never both at a time. You wake just a little at each changing of the guard, just enough to snuggle into whoever slips in and holds you.
There are murmurs and whispers; you don’t catch most of it. Just huffed breaths, a few sharp snips, and lonely words with no meaning—dawn, you hear once, and for. Or four. Or fore, you suppose, but it'd be strange to be talking about golf. Anyway, there’s no context.
They don’t break through your slumber as anything more than a soft breeze.
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When morning comes, you’re alone.
It’s painfully obvious. Your tiny studio is occupied by only yourself and the ghosts. The towel is neatly stuffed against the bathroom door, betraying its vacancy.
There’s a bottle with a handful of painkillers on your kitchen counter next to a glass of water. You can tell there’s a note and something wrapped in cloth. But if you stay here, stay tucked into bed where they left you, you don’t have to see it.
It could say that they’re cleaning up the mess and they’ll be back later. It could be instructions for when to come over next.
But it’s not going to be. You don’t need to read it to know. The truth’s been trickling into your lungs since you woke up. Since last night, really.
You get up anyway, shaky legs on autopilot. You take the pills first, sipping the water, and stare at the paper. It’s bigger than their usual scraps, and neatly folded. Someone’s drawn a little flower on the outside. You wish you knew who.
When the water is gone, and you’re out of excuses, you pick up the paper with a trembling hand.
Rough capitals take up most of the page. “Be good.” You close your eyes, choking down the acid in your throat.
At the bottom is a neater, slanted scrawl. “It’s the iron.” You blink stupidly for a moment and then reach for the cloth.
It’s a flannel Joel brought over last night, clean and soft. When you pick it up, something clatters against the countertop and falls to the ground.
It’s a fucking horseshoe.
You sit, right where you had stood, legs folded and the flannel clutched to your chest with both hands. Your head droops so your nose is buried in the fabric, and you stare at the gift and let the tears burn down your cheeks.
You don’t change out of their clothes for three days.
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The note gets tucked between the pages of “An Unsuitable Job for a Woman.”
The horseshoe sits on your table for weeks until you shove it under the bathroom sink. Half of you wants to bury it somewhere, afraid it might actually work.
But it’s just a horseshoe, and they’re just human. They only wanted you to think it would work—that it might protect you.
The flannel lives tangled up in your blankets. The smell of them fades fast.
You don’t return to their apartment. You think about it. Think about haunting it like they haunt yours. Think about banging on it until they tell you why.
But you know why. You saw it in the fear in their eyes that night. You had become something they could lose, and so, they had to. Quick and sharp, like their knives at the throats of those men. How could you blame them? Hadn’t you run away for the same reason?
On your loneliest nights, you think of them. You hope they’re okay. It’s never a guarantee in this world. You like to think they’re wrapped up warm and safe in bed.
On cold, sleepless nights under the starry sky, Joel likes to think the same of you.
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Thank you all so much for coming along on this journey.
I hurt my own feelings with this one, y'all. Please feel free to yell/vent/talk with me about this because I am not okay.
*title from "Heaven Knows" by the Pretty Reckless.
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