#shawn mendes apartment

[speakercrab666]

please no more please please no more shawn mendes stitches please please please

[withwritersblock]

When You're Ready

~When You're Ready by Shawn Mendes~

Author's Note: requested! not entirely proud of how this turned out but enjoy! italics are flashbacks as always Summary: Luke drunkenly confesses his feelings for his friend. Warnings: ermmmm idk Word Count: 4,275

Luke was drunk, probably the most drunk he’s been since the frat parties back at UMich. He was leaning against the bar, not sleepy but was definitely feeling dizzy. He was only allowed water because Jack was getting protective over him. 

Jack leaned against the wall, in the corner of the bar beside Luke. His phone was against his ear as he was listening to it ring and ring. 

“Jack?” Y/N let out sleepily.

“Hey! Luke is shitfaced right now, I would offer to take care of him but-” Jack paused as a giggle fell from his lips, “I’m also pretty fucking shitfaced and waiting for my girlfriend,” he explained. 

“Is that Y/N? Can I talk to her!” Luke shot up, a wide grin on his lips. Jack nodded, but kept the phone against his own ear. Luke whined as he reached his hand over. 

“I guess he can stay in my guest room. Just give me like twenty minutes,” she mumbled before she hung up the phone. Jack’s lips curled up into a grin as he shoved his phone back into his pocket.

Luke lifted up the glass of water and drank a long sip before he cautiously placed it back down onto the counter. “Y/N is taking you back to her place,” Jack offered as he brought his beer towards his lips.

“Aw man, I missed her. We’ve been traveling so much,” Luke offered as he shook his head slowly. His head moved delayed to either direction. 

“Are you going to tell her?” Jack drunkenly let out while he patted his hand against Luke’s back.

“Will not,” he said simply. 

“C’mon!” Jack pleaded as he continued to hit his hand against Luke’s back. “S-see I knew she li-liked you because she’s coming here at-” he trailed off searching for a clock, “What ever time it is.”

“Don’t want to talk about it, let me drink more booze,”

“No, Lukey you’re cut off,” Jack demanded.

“Me? You’re the one sl-slurring your words!” Luke said, pausing he realized he slurred too. The brothers began giggling.

Jack gasped as he scooted back away from the bartop. He smiled widely as he walked quickly towards his girlfriend entering the bar. “My girlfriend!” he let out happily as he shoved passed many drunk people. She giggled loudly as Jack happily wrapped his arms around her pulling her tightly towards him. “Come on, let’s go,” Jack muttered.

“Let’s wait for Y/N to get Luke,” she mumbled as she met his gaze. Jack groaned as he wandered towards Luke. 

Luke lifted his gaze, clenching his jaw as he smiled towards the pair. “He’s pretty drunk,” Luke observed. She rolled her eyes as she leaned against the bar. Jack rested his hand onto her lower back.

“I figured, thanks Luke,” she let out while laughing. 

Y/N was convinced that this party was going to actually ruin her whole mood. She was not a fan of giant crowds, especially a huge crowd of people whom she barely even knew. 

But Courtney was so sure that she would have fun, despite Courtney knowing everyone there. Well she’s only met a handful of the people at the party a few times but her boyfriend knew everyone. Which meant Courtney knew everyone. She never told Y/N who her new mystery man was. Even though the pair had been going on for months at this point. 

Courtney needed it to be secret, so secret that she would never tell anyone. Courtney and Y/N sat in the back seat of the car as they headed towards her boyfriend’s apartment. 

“So we’re going to his place and then the night club? Can’t we meet there?” Y/N groaned as she leaned her head against the headrest. It was safe to say, she was already tipsy and not in the mood for extra work. 

“You have to meet him,” she argued. 

The Uber pulled off to the side of the road, in front of a building that was definitely out of either of their price range. They stepped out of the Uber and Courtney began walking towards the building like it wasn’t her first time. Y/N stayed put as her eyes scanned the building.

“You forgot to mention he was rich,” Y/N mumbled as her gaze finally landed on Courtney.

“He’s not rich, he has money there is a different,” she explained while wrapping her arm around Y/N’s before she guided them towards the entrance.

“I feel like you just said the same thing,” Y/N mumbled while laughing. Courtney rolled her eyes as they stepped inside of the building. 

The walls were dark blue, with white tile on the floor. There was white curtains from the ceiling to the floor. The dark blue couches look like they’ve never been sat on but they were giant.

“Courtney, you can head straight up,” the doorman said excitedly. 

“Thank you, Danny,” she let out happily as she pressed the up button towards the elevator. 

Y/N leaned towards her, “How often are you here?” she whispered.

“Often,” she mumbled. 

The elevator ride was fast as they were only heading up a handful of floors. The fifth floor was the same decor as the lobby but less extravagant. The walk to the apartment was fast as it was only three doors down. She knocked four times. 

After a few seconds, the door was swung open and to Y/N’s surprise it was John Marino. “This is John?” Y/N let out quietly.

The music poured into the hallway. The music was not usual party music but it was loud and music she usually enjoys.

“Hey baby,” John let out as he reached towards Courtney, he wrapped his arms around her. Pulling her towards him, he smiled towards Y/N, “Y/N, it’s great to finally meet you,” John said as he motioned for her to step inside. Slowly, she walked inside beside John and Courtney. 

“Nice to-uh meet you too,” she let out shyly. Her eyes started to scan the room noticing two more Devils players sitting around the room. One with a gorgeous blonde girl in his lap and the other was sitting on a couch by himself. She wished she was not fan girling while in the room but she was. 

Luke Hughes looked up, meeting her gaze. She felt her heart jump in her chest as she met his gaze. His cheeks pinked up but he quickly shifted his gaze down towards his phone. 

Courtney slipped away from John’s grasp and walked back towards Y/N. She wrapped her arm around Y/N’s. “You should’ve brought up the whole Devils player thing,” she whispered, her gaze shifting around the room.

Luke’s eyes widened as a grin formed to his lips. He saw Y/N enter the bar. Jack’s girlfriend wandered towards her, leaving the boys to themselves.

“How bad is it?” Y/N asked teasingly. 

“They’re trashed,” she said simply. Y/N tossed her head back while laughing. 

“Alright, I’ll go take care of Luke,” Y/N let out, a smile on her lips. Jack’s girlfriend’s eyebrows raised as she held a smirk on her lips. “Oh shush,” she muttered as she pushed through the crowd to reach Luke. He was resting his head on his hands, his eyes starting to shut.

A sleepy smirk formed to his lips as his eyes were open slightly. “Y/N, you came!” he let out excitedly. “I’ve missed you,” he let out. She rolled her eyes as she stood in front of him. Resting her hand onto the bartop, she tilted her head to the side to try and meet his gaze. 

Jack and his girlfriend had already slipped out of the bar, leaving Y/N and Luke alone. 

“And you’re in your pajamas,” he observed, his sleepy gaze scanned her frame. Her body was covered with an old thin long sleeve top with a pair of sweatpants. She took a hold of his arm, helping him stand. He leaned against her, using her to help him walk.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” she mumbled as they continued through the bar, shoving through people to go to the entrance.

It was a quick and easy exit out of the bar, her car was parked directly on the street. Luke was still using her to help guide him as he walked. “You’re a great person, Y/N,” he mumbled.

“Thank you, Luke,” she mumbled while laughing. Slowly pulling away from him, he stood on his own. Stepping back, she tilted her head to the side meeting his gaze. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he leaned his head back. His lips curled upward slightly as he admired her frame. “What?” she let out shyly.

“You look beautiful,” he mumbled. Y/N smiled softly, knowing the words leaving his lips were drunken thoughts. “I meant as a friend, you know like because fri-friends can say that stuff. Can th-they say stuff like that?” he ranted nervously.

“Friends can call each other beautiful,” Y/N said as she met his gaze. He smirked as he ran his tongue across his lips.

“Well then,” he muttered as he took a step towards her, “How come you never called me beautiful?” he teased.

She rolled her eyes playfully as she pursed her lips forward, “You’re very beautiful, Luke,” she let out. His lips curled up into a toothy grin.

“Thank you,” he sing-songed. 

She met his gaze and watched the drunkenness take over in his eyes. With each blink it was evident he was getting more and more exhausted. She ran her fingers through her hair as she pointed towards the passenger seat door.

“You going to get in the car?” she asked him teasingly. He took a small step towards her. Biting his bottom lip, he was taking in a deep breath. “I mean I did practically carry you out of the bar,”

“You did not,” 

“I absolutely did, walk in a straight line right now,” she let out laughing. He straightened his body as he confidently walking towards the passenger seat of the car. 

His steps were definitely not in a straight line but as he leaned against the car door, he nodded proudly. 

“Wow, that was horrible,” she teased. 

Dropping his gaze to the concrete, he shook his head while chuckling. “Yeah, n-not my best work,” he said as he flung his head back up. He pulled on the door handle, opening the door. Smiling towards him she excitedly walked around towards the driver’s side of the car.

Y/N sat down on the couch beside Courtney. Her and John were not sitting close, almost on purpose to push her towards Luke. He lifted his gaze from his phone a handful of times to meet her gaze. Shyly, she avoided his eye as much as possible.

It started to feel like a set up. Everyone was in their own couple. It left Luke and Y/N to talk. Except they were not doing much talking.

Y/N was still freaking out that she was sat beside him and he was freaking out because if Jack and John were setting him up with someone, she could’ve been a little less hot. 

A little less intimidating because he couldn’t focus.

Or maybe it was because there was too much alcohol in his system, he couldn’t tell.

He knew he would get made fun of for the whole night if he didn’t speak to her but right now it was too intimate. 

“Okay, our Ubers are here,” Jack jumped up, keeping his hand loosely around his girlfriend’s waist. 

John did the same thing. Luke and Y/N stood up, sharing awkward glances. They both started walking towards the exit, side by side.

Reaching towards the door, he pulled it open, she smiled politely towards him. He slowly shut the door behind him and they continued down the hallway.

“Are we being set up?” she asked, pointing her finger between herself and him. Luke let out a nervous chuckle as he shoved his hands into his pocket.

“I wish I knew,” Luke rolled his eyes playfully, “With those two who knows.”

He pressed his lips together as he met her gaze for a few seconds. 

“I wish I knew my roommate was dating one of you guys, that would have been a nice heads up,” she explained.

“Wait, Court and John have been together for almost four months and you had no idea,” Luke questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. She nodded dramatically. “How did you not know, you guys live together?” he let out while laughing. 

She took a deep breath as she fought the smirk forming to her lips, “It just so happens that I grew up a huge Devils fan,” she mumbled. Luke’s eyes widened as he grinned. 

“Oh so you’ve been silently freaking out since you stepped into the door,” he teased.

“Have not,” she muttered crossing her arms over her chest.

“You want an autograph?” he teased. She shoved him away from her while laughing.

She happily sat down in the driver seat and quickly turned on her car. Heat blasted through the vents to warm the cold air inside of the car. Luke was watching her every move, his eyes dragged as he scanned her frame.

She stared towards her phone as she tried to find the perfect playlist. She played her own favorites mix before she rested it into an empty cup holder. Putting the car into drive, she pulled away from the bar. 

“You need my address?” he asked before swallowing hard. She glanced towards him, smirking slightly before she looked back towards the road. He pressed his lips together while shutting his eyes.

“I think I got it,” she let out laughing.

Furrowing his eyebrows harshly, he tilted his head back against the headrest, “I can’t believe you went to the bar in your pajamas,”

Her mouth fell open as she fought off the grin forming to her lips, ‘Clearly you’ve forgotten, I was asleep!”

“Right,” he muttered. He stared towards his hands as he took in long breaths. She pulled up to a red light, shifting her gaze towards him. 

“What’s on your mind?” she mumbled. He shrugged as he continued to stare down towards his lap, “Luke?” she asked again. 

It was a fast friendship. It seemed like out of no where they were inseparable. Ever since that night at the club, where they drunkenly danced together the whole night they’ve been inseparable. 

Tonight was no different, Luke was coming home from a game where they lost. He was not in a great mood but he knew that Y/N could make him feel better. Ever since he met her, he found himself gravitating towards her whenever he was in a bad mood. Whenever he was sad she made him feel better. 

He texted her that he was waiting outside of her apartment and she happily shot up from her couch. She walked towards the door pulling it open to reveal Luke. He was wearing a hoodie and a pair of sweats as he walked inside, holding his arms open.  She smiled towards him as he wrapped his arms around him. Sinking into his chest, she let the door shut behind him. 

“Is Courtney here?” he asked as he rested his hand onto the back of her head as he caressed her hair. Shaking her head, she slowly pulled away from him. “Are you sure it’s okay that I’m here?” 

“Always,” she mumbled as she met his gaze for a few seconds before she began to walk backwards towards her bedroom, “Let’s watch a movie,” 

His lips curled upward into a small smile as he followed after her, digging his hands deep into her pocket. He followed after her, his gaze trailing her frame as she guided him towards her bedroom.

She pushed the door open as she dropped down onto the bed. Luke stood in the doorway, admiring her from the small distance. 

“You can lay down y’know,” she teased as she patted the empty space beside her. 

He walked around the bed and cautiously laid down beside her.

“Any recommendations?” she offered as she met his gaze. He pouted his lips forward as he shook his head. He turned his body to the side, facing her. Looking down towards him, she turned her head to the side as she felt her lips curl upward. 

“Harry Potter?” he asked softly.

Furrowing her eyebrows she shifted her body towards him. They laid face to face, their noses nearly bumping one another with how close they are.

“You can’t just watch a Harry Potter movie, you have to watch them all,” she offered as she found her gaze lowering towards his lips.

“I don’t have plans tomorrow,” he offered teasingly. 

“You know, I think you’re beautiful in like a not a-a friend way,” Luke let out, he lifted his gaze to meet her eye. Her eyes widened slightly as she continued to look into his eye. “That’s obvious to you right?” Luke let out.

She took a deep breath as she watched the light turn green through the corner of her eye. She began to speed ahead with her heart beating faster and faster. “Luke, you know, I don’t have time for a relationship right now. With work and school, I barely have time for a social life-”

“I know, which is why I never said anything.” he let out, he swallowed hard as he shyly shifted his gaze down towards his lap. He took a deep breath, “I know I’m drunk or whatever but you’re literally everything I’ve ever wanted, you know that?”

She took a right turn into the parking garage beneath his apartment. “Luke,”

“I’m serious-”

“You won’t even remember this conversation tomorrow,” 

“When you’re ready or when you think you have time for one, I’m right ‘ere,” he explained as he lifted his gaze again. She pulled into a guest parking spot and quickly put the car into park. “I’ll always be waiting for you because you cannot tell me you don’t feel the same way. You can’t look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want to kiss me,” 

“Luke-” 

“But if it’s forever that I have to wait for you, I’ll wait because you are worth waiting a lifetime for,” he further explained as he looked deeply into her eyes. She took a deep breath as she pressed her lips together.

“You don’t know what you’re saying right now,” she expressed as she turned her body to face him.

“I know exactly what I’m saying because I haven’t stopped thinking about it for months. I mean come on, Y/N, look me in the eye and tell me it hasn’t crossed your mind,” 

“You know I can’t,” she mumbled. 

“So whenever you’re ready, I’m waiting,” he said as he leaned his head against the window.

“Let’s get you up to bed and then when you’re sober let’s have this conversation,” she explained as she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door harshly. Luke unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed out of the car. 

He stumbled out of the car, nearly falling over. “See-” she barked out a laugh, “How am I supposed to take you seriously when you are this drunk!” she took a hold of his arm, he looked down towards her as he allowed her to guide him towards the elevator.

~

The walk towards the apartment was fast while getting Luke ready for bed was another story. He kept making jokes about her taking his clothes off and helping him get into a pair of sweats to help him get comfortable. Or chug a bottle of water and eat a handful of snacks.

He laid beneath the comforter, shirtless and whining. “You have to stay,” he called out, reaching his hands towards her. Letting him take a hold of her hand, he interlocked their fingers. She would be lying if she said she didn’t feel her heart flutter at the sudden touch.

“Luke, I want to sleep in my own bed,” she told him as she looked into his eyes. 

“But you’ve slept in my bed before, what’s wrong with doing that tonight? I me-mean you’re already in your pajamas it’s perfect,” he explained, swinging their hands.

“Well you brought up some things that make this weird,” 

“Only weird if you make it weird,” he offered teasingly. She took a deep breath as she continued to look into his eyes, they squinted slightly as he leaned his head back against the head board.

“You’re the one that made this weird, by the way,” she said sarcastically as she climbed over him to lay beside him in the bed. Slowly, she climbed under the comforter and rolled onto her side to meet his gaze. 

“I just put the truth into the universe,” he teased while pursing his lips forward. She rolled her eyes dramatically as she rolled onto her back.

“Good night Luke,” she mumbled. He took in a sharp breath as he fell onto his back as well. 

“Good night,”

~~~

The following morning, Y/N woke up before Luke. She tiptoed out of the bedroom towards the living room. Which was always surprisingly clean. It was early enough, she figured Luke would be asleep for several more hours, especially with how drunk he was towards the end of the night.

She walked into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee, it wasn’t the first time she would wake up before Luke and make herself at home. Luke would be more upset if he found out she stayed in bed waiting for him to wake up to get ready for the day.

She leaned back against the counter as she watched the Kurig pour into the small red mug. Her mind wandered around the words Luke said last night. There was no way Luke would remember everything he said. 

Maybe he would remember some of it but she was convinced he didn’t. She barely had time to spend with him as a friend let alone the effort a relationship has to have.

She couldn’t put that effort in right now, but was he genuine with saying he would wait? She didn’t want a relationship until after school, she still had a year and a hlaf left.

She took the cup from the Kurig and she secured it with both of her hands as she wandered towards the couch. 

It was another hour of her scrolling on her phone and finishing her cup of coffee when Luke stumbled out of the room. His hair was slightly messy but he did not look worse for wear. He stood at the start of the hallway, watching her for a moment.

Lifting her gaze she saw him standing there, she brought her hand towards her chest as she giggled. “Scared the hell out of me,” she muttered.

“Sorry,” he let out as he walked towards her. He sat down beside her, keeping a whole cushion between them. 

They stayed silent for a moment as they let the awkward tension fill the air. 

She swallowed hard as she delicately placed the mug onto the coffee table, “So, how hungover are you?” she questioned, trying to break some of the tension.

He chuckled as he ran his hand across his chin, “Actually not that bad,” he mumbled. She nodded as she kept her gaze towards her lap. He pressed his lips together as he took another deep breath, “I’m waiting,” he let out as he tilted his head to the side. She furrowed her eyebrows. He smirked as he looked into her eyes. 

“Oh, yeah, that conversation we had last night; that you swore I wasn’t going to remember. I remember every word-well okay, not every word but I remember it all-most of it. So-um I guess it’s-yeah you’re turn,” he ranted.

She smiled as she continued to look into his eye as she took in a sharp breath as she stood up from the couch and walked towards him. Standing over him, she started to climb into his lap. He leaned back, cautiously hovering his hands in the air. 

“I don’t know about a relationship,” she began as she rested her hands on the base of his neck, her thumbs grazing the side of his neck briefly. “But I’ve been dying to kiss you,” she muttered. He smiled as she leaned towards him, kissing him urgently.

The kiss was electrifying as Luke finally rested his hands onto her hips. Leaning into him, the kiss was everything that either of them were waiting for. 

“Yet,” she muttered against his lips.

“What?” he mumbled as he leaned towards her, desperate to feel her lips against his again. She returned the kiss for a few seconds before she pulled away.

“Can you wait a little longer?” she mumbled against his lips.

“Can we at least do this?” he pleaded. She leaned towards him kissing him urgently, pulling his bottom lip into her mouth as she ran her fingers through his hair. 

They stayed in that position for a long time as they were enjoying being that close to one another. It didn’t matter that Jack was probably on his way back or that friends with benefits was always a bad idea or that anything in between friends and lovers was a horrible idea. Right now all that mattered was that their lips were connected and that they both felt the same.

[itoshiexx]

wonder

synopsis: sae wondered what it was like to be loved by you.

pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 800 | warnings: established relationship, tooth rotting fluff, sae is stupidly in love with u

notes: why hello! i'm barely alive! i know i kinda disappeared but i was struggling with personal issues and my mental health, so i didn't really have creativity to write. i'm not sure i like this either, but i couldn't let sae bae's bday go by without posting anything. also this is slightly inspired by the song "wonder - shawn mendes". thank you for your love and patience! <3

masterlist

there are certain things itoshi sae would never admit. like the way he loved calm walks at the beach or how seagulls were his favorite animal. how he secretly regret hurting his little brother’s feelings when he was a stupid teenager. how his life was way lonelier than the world could even imagine, making him hate the walls of his oh so empty apartment.

mostly, he would never admit he wondered what it was like to be loved — not just by anyone, though, but to be loved by you.

he’s not sure when it started. he can’t pinpoint the exact moment his heart began beating faster and his black and white world was filled with color, but he does know that, inevitably, it all comes back to you, like you’re some sort of big bang that created his whole existence. itoshi sae doesn’t think he was actually himself before he became yours.

if you ask him, he’d say it’s a bit pathetic, really. he was never a guy that cared about romance, and he definitely didn’t believe in the concept of a love that could sweep you off your feet, like the hollywood movies desperately tried to sell. perhaps one of the reasons he liked you so much was because you managed to prove him wrong, and not many people were able to do that. 

sae was usually right. but you, in his life — that was even more right than his stupid beliefs. 

“sae, i need to get up,” your voice breaks him from his stupor, and, instinctively, his hold on your waist tightens. it’s some sort of protection, he thinks. not to you, but to protect him from the pain of having you stray away. 

(he never wants to let go).

the football player twists his body to trap you even further on the mattress, burying his face on your chest and tangling his legs with yours. your giggle reverberates through his whole body and brings warmth to his cheeks. his heart flutters, and he can’t even find it in him to hate it. 

you must have put a spell on him, he concludes.

“i’m serious. i need to make breakfast,” you say again when he doesn’t answer.

“don’t wanna.”

“you don’t want breakfast?”

“nuh-uh.”

you giggle again, and this time, you seem to give in, relaxing your body and welcoming him in your embrace. sae can only sigh in satisfaction when you card your fingers through his reddish-brown locks, relishing in the peace only you seem to be able to give him.

“i wonder what people would think if they knew how clingy the all mighty itoshi sae can be,” the teasing lit in your tone doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and you earn a scoff.

“shut up,” he quips, although there’s no real bite in it. “you love me.”

and you must not be from this world, because it’s easy — the way you pick up on any slight nuance of his voice or demeanor. it’s so fucking easy for you to read him like an open book and to give the reassurance he so desperately needs; albeit unaware. 

your voice becomes impossibly soft, “i do, baby. i love you so much.”

you kiss his forehead, and after wandering around for so long, sae thinks he’s finally home. 

for a while, you two just stay there, in bed, wrapped in each other in a way you can’t know where he starts and where you end. the thought of being one with you makes him happy, but that’s just another item in his long list of things he would never admit. 

your sweet voice breaks the silence. 

“we’re gonna be in bed all day?” there’s nothing but pure curiosity in your voice. no judgment — you never judge him, despite the way he deserves it sometimes. the thought makes his chest tighten with the amount of love he has harbored just for you.

sometimes he thinks he’s too small for it, and he’s scared all this love will overflow and consume him whole. though, it’s even scarier to think he wouldn’t mind: sae is yours. you can have all that he has and all that he is. 

“just a little longer,” he whispers, a little more vulnerable than he would like. but it’s okay. it’s always okay when it’s you. “please?”

you hum in agreement, continuing to caress his hair. 

“of course. whatever the birthday boy wants.”

sae allows himself to close his eyes and bask in your warmth, on the safety that you so effortlessly gave him. by smelling your perfume, he’s filled with gratitude for all the times he wondered what it was like to be loved by you.

“happy birthday, love.”

he’s glad he doesn’t have to wonder anymore.

© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.

[fairyrcts]

WHY WHY WHY , M.S.

by fairyrcts contents - (unresolved) angst , intended lowercase , pet names , 2nd person , pregnancy , cursing

warning ! - this may be triggering to some readers as this story does include pregnancy and abandonment. please read with caution.

an - i unironically love shawn mendes and i needed some dad matt stuff :P

taglist - @pvssychicken , @gothiccvnt6996 , @emely9274

you'd woken up feeling absolutely terrible. you were sick to your stomach, throwing up every now and then.

matt sat on the bathroom floor beside you, rubbing your back in attempt to sooth you.

"this is so weird. you were just fine yesterday." he mumbled to himself.

"i fuckin' know."

you had no idea what came over you today. no one at work was sick, you hadn't eaten anything bad. you were confused as to why this was happening.

matthew knew you hadn't been in contact with anyone who was ill and you hadn't even left the house in a day or two, so he was confused himself.

he felt terrible that all this was happening to you. "do you think it might just be your period?"

his voice took you out of your thoughts. no, it wasn't your period. in fact, you were late. four days late to your period.

"uh, no. i'm pretty sure i'm late." you spoke quietly, scared of the response to what you had just admitted.

matt took a second to process the words that had left your mouth. he began racking his brain with the possibilities.

"do you think you're.. pregnant?" he could barely bring himself to say the word. he wasn't ready to be a father whatsoever.

the words hit you hard. pregnant?

"i dunno.." you managed to let out.

matt's breath audibly caught in his throat. "i- do you wanna get a test?"

you avoided the question for a moment, not knowing if you were even ready to find out.

"yeah, okay." a sigh followed your sentence.

the two of you stood up, walking out to the car in silence. he didn't bother opening your door like he usually does or ask what song you felt like playing.

he was insanely stressed. you'd only been dating 8 months but you were incredibly connected.

you'd moved in together a while back, you'd both met each others parents and to say you loved each other was an understatement.

but becoming parents? that's a completely different story.

he pulled the car into the cvs parking lot. "i'll be right back." he muttered to which you nodded.

when he exited the vehicle, you were left alone with your thoughts.

you knew you probably weren't ready for this big of a thing. having a kid together was huge and you were barely even an adult.

but deep down you knew if that test came out positive, you'd make yourself ready for the situation. and you had no doubt that you and matt could handle this within time.

right?

matthew came back with two boxes in his hand. "i got two just in case."

he gave you a tight-lipped smile to try and give you some sense of comfort. he was aware you were probably as nervous as he was.

you reciprocated that smile and drove the rest of the way home in silence.

the second you walked into your apartment you let out a deep exhale. you knew this was gonna be a heavy moment.

"uhm, okay. i'll- uh. i'll wait on the couch." matt said, finally managing to make eye contact with you for the first time in fifteen minutes, giving you some hope.

while you were in the bathroom, matt mentally lost it. he had no absolute idea how he was going to handle this if it came back positive.

he began biting his already less than short nails even farther down to the nub. he bit back his lip to keep tears from streaming down his face.

after a couple of moments, he turned his head at the sound of the bathroom door opening.

you stood in the doorway with a nervous look written all over you.

"matt, i'm pregnant." you spoke just above a whisper.

his eyes widened at the new found information.

"seriously?" he allowed himself to choke out.

you gave him a nod, a smile just barely noticeable on your face as you thought about how great this could turn out to be for the two of you.

"y/n, i'm not ready to be a dad. i'm barely 21, i can't be a fucking father." matt stood up, running a hand through his disheveled, brown hair.

your face immediately faltered. "what?"

"i'm not capable of taking care of children right now. i still have my whole life to live." he raised his voice ever so slightly, but enough to cause a few tears to leave your eyes.

"you don't have a choice. you act like this isn't partially on you too!" the words left your lips as you became more and more upset by his reaction.

this is nowhere near how you imagined this would go.

this is not the matt you knew. the matt you knew would tell you it's okay and would support you through the situation.

"it was a mistake! i can't do this!" you weren't the only one crying now as the conversation got more intense.

"that's too damn bad! you have a kid now, matthew! man up!"

matt simply shook his head, looking like he was ready to break down completely.

"i don't know what to fucking tell you, y/n." his voice came out shaky.

"tell me we're in this together! that you and i can get through this! we're a team, remember? what happened to that?!"

"what happened was you got pregnant!" he shouted, regretting what he had said instantly.

"you're telling me that all of a sudden everything between you and i has changed i'm pregnant? mind you, the person responsible for this was you!"

matt remained silent, not even knowing how to respond.

you tried your best not to lose it in front of him before he spoke up again, this time quieter.

"fucking say something, matthew!" you yelled, the words getting croaked up in your throat due to the amount of sobbing taking place.

"i'm sorry, i can't do this."

and with that, he left the apartment, leaving you alone, sobbing in your living room.

[maxillness]

Treat You Better || LN4 OP81 x Reader

Warnings: Angst (ish), 18+, unprotected sex, alcohol consumption, sub!oscar, praise kink,

Wordcount: 1.4k

Part 3 of Nattely and I Don’t Forgive You

He won’t lie to her, he just know he’s not right for her

Oscar could see it on her face when she says he’s the one that she wants

She’s spending all her time in the wrong situation

“I broke up with him” He heard her says from the other end of the call

I know I can treat you better

“I’m sorry” He sighed “I’m in Monaco, want me to come over?”

“If it’s no problem”

He was there in a matter of minutes, speeding over to her, not wanting her to be alone

“I’m an idiot” She cried, spilling her tears out as she was hurtled up into Oscar’s arms

“You’re not an idiot” He said, hand soothing her hair

“Why didn’t I notice earlier?” Her head was starting to hurt from the crying

Her crying had settled for a while, but still in his arms, feeling the warmth of his body against his

“Any girl like you deserves a gentleman” He said, feeling her body get heavy against his

Feeling her body heavy against his, and hearing her small snores, she lifted her up and put her gently under the sheets on her bed

“Goodnight” He whispered, softly pulling her hair away from her face

It was a few weeks later when he got a call from her “What’s up?” He picked up the phone almost immediately

“He was here. Said he missed me. Wanted to be friends again. Admitted to not wanting me back”

Just let me treat you better

“Here’s what I’m gonna do. Next time I’m in Monaco, I’m gonna come by with ice cream, okay?” He offered, hearing her light sniffle

“That would be great”

He did just that. He came by her apartment with ice cream. They sat on the couch, stuffing their faces with ice cream, talking about everything and nothing

At some point, the alcohol had joined them. They had scooted closer, knees brushing each other, sending shivers down his spine

“What are you thinking about?” She asked, seeing his zoned out state, but still looking at her

“Nothing” He answered, obviously lying as he looked down into the almost empty ice cream

“Tell me” Her finger hooked under his chin, making him look up at her

He sighed, but spoke up anyways “I’ll stop time for you. The second you say you’d like me too” Her hand dropped from his face

“I just wanna give you the loving that you’re missing. Baby, just to wake up with you would be everything in need, and this could be so different” He looked with fear into her eyes, waiting for a response

“Tell me what you want to do” She said, leaning closer to him

He didn’t answer, to caught up with colour in her eyes, and the feeling of the bubble in his throat

“Oscar… Don’t be shy, tell me what you want” She smiled, getting fully in his lap, legs on either sides of his thighs

Her arms were around his neck, his hands on her waist, eyes so innocent they looked like puppy eyes

“You” She could see the blush starting to creep up on his cheeks and down his neck “I know I can treat you better than he ever did”

“Any man with a good soul can” She leaned in, titling her head slightly to the side, closing her eyes as their lips made contact

“Do I have a good soul?” He asked softly as she pulled back

“Very much so” She nodded, pulling him in for a deeper kiss “The best” She repositioned herself, allowing her to get closer to him

Her tongue glided across his bottom lip, access given immediately, without hesitation

Her tongue felt spongy against his. The kiss had gotten more sloppy and wet like this, saliva pooling in the corners of their mouths

Her lips moved over his jaw and down to his neck. The way her lips moved on his skin drew out light moans from him

“We should move to the bedroom” She said between kisses, starting to stand up “Come on” She took his hands pulling him up

Their lips attached again as she guided them into the bedroom. She closed the door with her foot before pushing him down softly, making him sit on the foot of the bed

“You’re so beautiful” She whispered as she got in his lap again, hands under his shirt, pulling it over his head

She noticed the blush that deepened at her words “So fucking beautiful” She chuckled slightly at the whimper he let out

She pushed him softly down so he was laying on his back, her lips attaching to his neck, slowly moving over his throat and down his chest

She had gotten off the bed, styled between his legs on her knees, lips trailing down just above the waistband of his jeans

She disconnected her lips from his skin, looking up at him as her hands fiddled with his belt

She unbuckled it, moving to his button and zipper. He bucked his hips, giving her access to pull down both his pants and boxers at the same time

Beautiful brown doe eyes were looking down at her as she spit in her palm, attaching her hand around his hard cock, drawing out a whimper from him

Her other hand held his hip as she kissed the insides of his thighs, hand on his cock starting to move, throwing his head back, closing his eyes

The soft moans and whimpers he let out were like music to her ears

She slid her thumb over his slit, a loud moan leaving his lips, her name rolling off his tongue, in a breathless whimper

“Please, I need your mouth, please” He looked down at her, lost in her eyes

She granted him his wish, her mouth attaching around him, starting to slowly move, louder moans starting to fill the apartment

“Please- fuck… Just like that- Ah” His hips were starting to shutter as his thighs shook and he started twitching inside her mouth

“Fuck, I’m gonna come. Please, I’m so close” He had a hard time keeping still as she moved

Her tongue traced the vein up his cock, sending him over the edge with her name rolling off on his tongue with a loud moan, shooting his cum down her throat

She swallowed and stood up before quickly removing all of her clothes, Oscar laying tiredly on the bed, chest still heaving from his quick breathing

She got in his lap, hovering of his body, making him open his eyes and look up at her

“You okay, Osc?” She asked, kissing his lips softly

“Mhm… I can give you one more” He said, hands softly tracing her sides, landing on her hips

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to” She said, caressing his cheek with her thumb

“N-no, I want to, want to make you feel way better than he ever did” He said, encouraging her to take him back into her hand

She drew the tip of his cock through her folds, making him moan as he was still sensitive from his orgasm

She slowly slid down on him, both moaning at the sensation of him inside her

She started moving, nails digging into his chest as Oscar’s nails dug into her hips, not able to keep their moans down

“Fuck- Never imagined you to sound so good” She praised, making him whimper, bucking his hips up into her

She leaned down, putting her arms in wait her side of his head, lips attaching to his neck

This new position made her clit rub against his pelvic bone, giving her more pleasure, moaning loudly beside his ear

“Please- fuck- ‘m so close” He said, starting to twitch inside her as his hands went to rest at her ass, squeezing her slightly

He let out a high-pitched moan when she clenched around him “Please- I need- I need to come, please”

“Come for me” She placed open-mouthed kisses on the exposed skin on his neck, giving him a few more rolls of her hips as he came deep inside her

The feeling of his cum filling her up sent her over the edge, rapidly clenching around him as she came

She laid down beside him on her side, propping her head up on her hand, the other softly pulling the hair out of his face

His brown eyes looked at her with such adoration she never got from Lando, or anybody for that matter

[kochslut]

𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫╰┈➤ cooper koch

playing: treat you better by shawn mendes

synopsis: after a painful betrayal, you find comfort in your best friend, cooper, who tries to show you he can treat you better than your ex ever did. torn between the fear of ruining the friendship and the growing attraction you feel for him, you both face the tension between friendship and love, with an uncertain future but full of possibilities.

paring: cooper koch x reader

warnings: cheating, emotional abuse, detailed intimate interaction, oral sex, +18

It was late at night, and you were at home, your face wet with tears you couldn’t hold back. The image of Luke, your boyfriend, with another girl kept replaying in your mind, and the pain of betrayal felt unbearable. Your chest tightened, and the emptiness inside you grew with every passing second. You knew you couldn't be alone in this moment, not now. Without thinking too much, you grabbed your phone and called Cooper, your best friend. He picked up after a few rings, his voice rough from sleep but clearly filled with concern.

"Coops…" your voice came out weak, almost a whisper choked by tears. "I… I need you."

On the other line, Cooper sighed, and you knew he was already tired of all the mess Luke had been putting you through. He always said that guy wasn’t good enough for you, and now it seemed like all his worries were coming true. "Y/N, I'm on my way. Just hang tight," he said, not even giving you a chance to argue. Before you could respond, the call had ended, and you knew he’d be at your door in just a few minutes.

Sure enough, minutes later, the doorbell rang. You opened it to find Cooper standing there, concern etched across his face, holding a paper bag in one hand. He didn’t need to ask anything; one look at your face and he knew exactly what had happened. Without a word, he stepped inside and gently pulled you into a tight hug, letting you cry into his shoulder.

“I brought your favorites,” he said softly, lifting the bag with a few of your favorite sweets, but all you could do was sob against his chest.

He led you to the couch, never letting go of your hand, and sat down beside you, opening the little treats and offering one to you. "Try to eat a little, it'll help," he suggested, but you shook your head, unable to even think about food in that moment. Cooper sighed softly and rubbed his hand gently along your arm. “Y/N, I know it hurts right now, but you deserve so much better than this, you know that? He… he wasn’t the right guy for you.” His voice was calm, but there was a quiet intensity in his words, as if he’d said it a thousand times in his head already.

You lifted your tear-streaked face to look at him, wiping the wetness away with the back of your hand. He looked at you deeply, his eyes full of understanding, but there was something else there, something you couldn’t quite figure out. "I know it’s hard to accept now, but I know he's just not right for you, and you can tell me if I'm off. But I see it on your face. He hurts you, Y/N, and I can’t stand by watching you get torn apart by someone who doesn’t see your worth." Cooper’s words hit you hard, but they also felt like a balm to the pain. There was something about him that always soothed you, and even in the middle of the emotional chaos you were in, his presence made everything feel just a little more bearable.

Minutes turned into hours as you talked—or rather, as Cooper spoke and you just listened, enjoying the comfort of having someone by your side who truly cared. He shared funny stories, embarrassing childhood moments, and even some memories from school that made you smile through the tears. The soft light of the room seemed to dance, creating a cozy atmosphere, and slowly, the pain of betrayal began to fade just a little. As the night went on, you realized that even with a heavy heart, Cooper's presence beside you brought unexpected comfort. He had always been there for you.

When the conversation shifted towards your insecurities and the confused feelings that consumed you, Cooper leaned in closer, his gaze intense. "You have so much to offer, Y/N. Don’t let someone who can’t see that make you forget it. You deserve someone who recognizes how incredible you are," he said, his voice full of sincerity that made your stomach flutter.

A warmth started to spread through you. It was admirable how Cooper looked at you with respect, and a wave of gratitude washed over you. You smiled, trying to hide the mix of emotions stirring inside. "Thank you, Coops. That really means a lot," you replied, your voice trembling slightly. You noticed something different in the way Cooper spoke—maybe it was the vulnerability of the moment, but for a second, you wished he was the one for you.

He smiled back, and in that instant, something sparked. You realized that even in the midst of the pain and confusion you felt for your boyfriend, Cooper was there, ready to support you. The tension between you grew, and for a moment, silence filled the room. You thought about how his presence brightened the darkness surrounding you.

"You really are an amazing friend, you know?" you said, a slight smile on your lips. His friendship was something you treasured, and you couldn’t forgive yourself if you crossed that line with him.

"I just want the best for you, Y/N. Always," he replied, the sincerity in his voice resonating deeply in your heart.

It was like his words echoed a truth you didn’t want to ignore. As the night wore on, the idea that Cooper could be more than just a friend began to take shape in your mind, and you felt a mix of hope and nervousness for what might come next.

The clock on the wall showed it was much later than you thought. The house was quiet, and you could feel the fatigue setting in. The warmth and safety of Cooper’s company surrounded you, and the idea of being alone that night felt unsettling.

With hesitation, you looked into his eyes, searching for the courage you needed. "Cooper..." your voice came out soft, almost a whisper. "Would you… would you mind staying with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone."

He paused from fiddling with the sweets, his gaze soft and understanding. "Are you sure, Y/N?" he asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I really want you to stay," you insisted, vulnerability lacing your tone. "Your presence… it helps."

A smile spread across Cooper's face, and he nodded, "Of course, I’ll stay."

"I’m going to run a bath," you said, trying to keep your voice steady. You didn’t want to show any signs of nervousness. "After, if you want to take one too, feel free."

Cooper nodded again, his eyes following your movements as if he wanted to make sure you were okay. He stayed in the living room while you headed upstairs to your room, the soft sound of your footsteps fading down the hallway. In the bathroom, the hot water felt soothing, easing some of the tension, but it didn’t calm the confusion swirling in your mind.

After getting dressed, you went back downstairs to find Cooper sitting on the couch, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. When he saw you, he stood up, and the air between you felt thick with unspoken words. "If you want, the bathroom is free now," you said, trying to sound casual, but there was something in the air that made it hard to act natural.

He just nodded, silent as always, and went up to freshen up while you tried to gather your thoughts. Minutes later, he came down, the fresh scent of soap filling the space, bringing an unexpected sense of comfort. You both headed up to your room, where the soft light of the lamp was still on. The bed looked huge but somehow inviting. When you lay down, Cooper hesitated for a moment before joining you, lying beside you. The space between you felt too small, and even in silence, there was an invisible current connecting you two.

For a moment, you just stared at the ceiling, as if the words were stuck, waiting for the right moment to be said. He slowly turned to you, the mattress sinking slightly beside him. His hand slid to yours, fingers intertwining in a calm, almost hesitant way. He took a deep breath before speaking, as if choosing his words carefully.

"I never understood, you know? How you could settle for so little… when you’re so much." His voice was rough, full of honesty that made your chest tighten. "You don’t deserve someone who makes you doubt who you are. You never did." He squeezed your hand gently, and you finally looked at him. The look in Cooper's eyes was intense but not angry. It was filled with concern, with care. There was something there you had never noticed before, as if he was trying to show you something you had always refused to see.

"I know I can treat you better than he can, Y/N," he continued, his voice heavy. "And I know you’re still hurting now, but look at me…" He hesitated, searching for your gaze. "Any person like you deserves a gentleman. I always said that."

Those words made you lose yourself for a moment. Cooper had always been there, always taking care of you, but there was something in the way he said it now that felt deeper.

"I’m not here to say I’m perfect, or that I can fix all your problems." Cooper swallowed hard, the tension in the air growing as the truth came out. "But I know I can treat you better. Because seeing you like this, broken, hurts. And I’d do anything to keep you from suffering like that again."

Was that a confession? There was a raw sincerity in each word, no grand promises, no games— just the truth. He looked at you so intensely that you felt exposed, as if all the walls you had built were coming down.

"Cooper, I…" The words wouldn’t come. Your heart raced too fast, and you felt your face heat up. "I don’t know what to say."

He didn’t let go of your hand; he just held it tighter, his eyes burning with an intensity you’d never seen before. His touch, the way his thumb brushed against the back of your hand, stirred something within you. It felt familiar yet completely new.

"You don’t have to say anything right now," he whispered, his voice low but filled with meaning. "I just want you to know that I’m always here. I always have been."

The silence between you thickened, charged with emotions that felt electric in the air. Your heart raced, and suddenly, you realized that his body was closer than before. His warmth was almost tangible, and you could feel his breath—slow and steady—while yours was uneven.

You tried to look away, to fight against the thoughts flooding your mind, but it was useless. Cooper’s fingers intertwined with yours felt like an anchor, and every delicate gesture he made seemed to spark sensations you had never felt so vividly. Your best friend, always so steady, so constant. But now, in that room with the soft light illuminating your faces, everything felt different. And you didn’t know if you were ready to face what that meant.

"I just… don’t understand how things got so complicated," you murmured, more to yourself than to him.

He let out a low, almost bitter yet soft laugh. "Love doesn’t have to be complicated, Y/N."

That phrase shattered something inside you, as if finally, something had been revealed. The weight of his closeness, his touch, his warmth… it all made you question what else you had overlooked. You could smell him, feel his strong presence, and the tension in the air was palpable for both of you. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes drifted to his lips, and you mentally reprimanded yourself for it. What was happening to you? It was as if an invisible force was pulling you closer, and every second beside him heightened that feeling.

Cooper noticed your gaze fixated on his lips, and a playful smile formed on his face. "I don’t bite, if you want to get closer… I wouldn’t mind," he said, laughter escaping his lips, light and teasing. Instantly, you felt embarrassed, your cheeks burning a deep red. That feeling of awkwardness only intensified the tension between you. The atmosphere grew charged, and his laughter echoed in the room as his eyes remained locked on yours. Your heart pounded in your chest, and the idea of moving closer made you both nervous and excited.

"Cooper, this isn’t…" you began, but the words faltered. You didn’t know how to explain what was happening, how he made you feel confused and exhilarated.

"It’s just a joke," he replied, but there was a spark in his eyes that made it clear he felt the same electricity. "If you want to, of course." The teasing in his tone made you bite your lower lip, trying to suppress a smile that threatened to appear. The tension grew, and you felt a wave of courage wash over you. It was as if the line between friendship and something more was blurring, and you wanted to explore this new territory.

Without a second thought, you moved a little closer, the distance between you shrinking. Cooper’s expression changed, and you saw surprise flicker in his eyes, as if he were questioning whether you would actually do this. But he didn’t pull back; instead, he leaned slightly in your direction, as if inviting you to take the lead. The pounding of both your hearts was almost deafening. Expectation hung in the air, and you found yourself holding your breath. Your gazes locked once more, and it felt like the world around you faded away. All that existed were the two of you, suspended in a bubble of possibilities.

"Are you sure about this?" Cooper asked, you could feel his breath growing closer to yours, his voice soft yet heavy with desire. The question felt more like an invitation than a doubt.

"I… I think so," you replied, feeling the vulnerability in your words, but there was something more there, a rising determination. Without another word, you decided to let yourself go. With an almost involuntary movement, your lips met his. The kiss started softly, hesitantly, as if you were both trying to understand what it meant. But soon the hesitation gave way to urgency, to the need to draw even closer.

Cooper pulled you nearer, his hands firm on your waist as you got lost in him. The heat radiating from him was intoxicating, and you didn’t want to pull away. Your bodies molded against each other, each touch sending shivers down your spine. The kiss deepened, the tension that had once been almost invisible now transforming into a fiery connection. It was as if all the confusion and pain you had felt before evaporated, leaving only pure, true desire.

When you finally broke apart, both of your breaths were ragged, your eyes meeting with a mix of surprise and joy. Cooper smiled, that smile that made your heart race. "I… wow," you murmured, still dazed.

"See? I didn’t bite," he joked, the lightness returning to his tone, but the intensity in his gaze remained. It wasn’t long before you found yourself enveloped in his kisses again, and he seemed surprised. So much time waiting for you, for your touch, and now it felt magical.

The intensity of the kiss wrapped around you like a warm cloak, and Cooper seemed to absorb every moment with careful calmness. He gently pulled you even closer, now there was no distance between you both. His fingers glided softly over your waist, while his other hand caressed your face, as if he were trying to imprint every detail into his memory. His touch was gentle, but there was a strong connection pulsing between you, a growing desire that was barely contained. As your lips moved together in a smooth, deep rhythm, you felt a shiver run down your spine. He pressed your body against his, and you could feel the rapid beat of his heart against your chest.

He explored your neck with gentle kisses, his lips gliding over your exposed skin, and the sensation was exquisite. Every touch made your mind spin, a whirlwind of emotions and sensations you had never experienced before. He was being careful and attentive, always paying attention to your reactions, as if he was making sure you were comfortable even while the passion was already stronger than you could handle.

With a smooth movement, he pulled you on top of him, you had your crotch very close to his, and he had his hands sliding down your back as the intensity between you grew. The way he held you was protective, but at the same time full of desire. Your bodies moved in harmony, each movement resonating with an echo of a repressed passion that had finally found freedom. You could feel Cooper’s dick rubbing against your thigh. You still couldn't believe it was real.

The best friend? what a cliché.

The kisses became more urgent, deeper, as if you wanted to merge into one being. The man explored every curve, every contour, and you let yourself be carried away, surrendering to the moment. The mix of affection and passion was electrifying, and each touch seemed to ignite a flame inside you.

When he pulled away for a moment, his gaze was intense. Cooper leaned in, sealing your lips again in a kiss that said more than words could express. You knew that moment was just the beginning of something much bigger.

"Can I take off your clothes?" The request was barely a whisper, but there was an intensity in his gaze that made your heart race. You felt a shiver run through your skin, a mix of nervousness and anticipation. Unable to find words, you just nodded. It was as if, from that moment on, all his fears and insecurities disappeared.

Gently, Cooper raised his hands and began to pull at his clothes. He did it slowly, as if he wanted to appreciate every second, every little detail. The touch of his fingers on your skin was soft, and a wave of heat ran through your body as you felt the cold air touch your exposed skin. His gaze was fixed on you, full of admiration and desire, and in that moment, you felt more alive than ever. Cooper seemed to respect every part of your being, every nuance of your vulnerability. He moved even closer, his hands caressing your torso, exploring every curve with a delicacy that was both electrifying and calming.

As his hands slid across your skin, you gave yourself over completely, feeling the connection between you grow stronger. Cooper moved slowly, his actions full of intention, each touch an invitation to explore the depths of it. His breathing was labored as he watched you, as if he was trying to burn that moment into his memory. The chemistry between you two was undeniable, and the way he touched you awakened a desire in you that seemed to have been dormant for so long.

His gaze intensified, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that was both soft and fiery. There was a seething passion, but also a tenderness that made it even more special. You felt completely enveloped by him, and the anxiety that once dominated you now turned into something delicious. Cooper's hands were all over your body, he caressed you while lightly squeezing your skin.

In some moment of courage, you started to move your hips towards him and were satisfied when you heard him make light moans during the kiss. That man was driving you insane, you no longer had any doubts that you wanted more from him; of that moment. As if in fright, you moved a little, putting your hand inside his shorts and stroking his erect member through his underwear.

He looked at you with wide eyes and you gave him a friendly look, as if to say everything was okay. It seems that this was confirmation for what you would do from now on, because you got off of him and tried to remove his clothes, who soon helped you. There was a half-naked Cooper on top of your bed, his penis looks like it would tear his underwear at any moment and you were the only one who could help him at that moment. And without any shame, that's what you did.

"Stand up." his ordination sent a shiver down the back of Cooper's neck and he did so without dissent. With the man standing, you began a difficult kiss, perhaps due to the difference in height, but it didn't last long; You soon started distributing kisses even close to his genitals. His underwear was quickly removed and you couldn't help but swallow hard at the sight of his member without anything covering it.

Cooper gave a perverted smile "Don't choke, y/n", he said in a teasing tone. Well, you weren't a loser, you weren't going to leave your best friend there with that victorious smile on your face. You gave him a wink and squatted down, coming face to face with that man's genitals. You couldn't help but wonder if you could really handle it, was it too big or were you just unaccustomed to your ex-boyfriend's small dick?

So, amidst not at all favorable thoughts, you placed your mouth on his member, who quickly entered a greater state of excitement upon feeling you. He can't help but grab your hair, helping you move back and forth. While keeping your mouth around the entire head of his cock, you ran your tongue over his glans, which made Cooper let out a hoarse moan.

He rocked back and forth as his mouth did all the work down there. You ran your tongue up and down, now using your hand to help with masturbation, trying to feel every part of that man who was there just for you and for you.

His breathing oscillated with each contact your tongue had with his penis, you noticed this and felt increasingly confident in continuing with the sliding movements. You could already feel him inside your throat, pressing so hard that you would probably not speak for some time.

It was hard to tell if Cooper was aware of how big he was, because he was forcing your head forward, making you gag a few times. He was already throbbing in your mouth and you tried to keep control of the situation, taking his hand carefully and removing it from your head. You wrap his penis in your hand and slowly slip your lips around and over it. Your tongue moves slowly under the ridge and around the tip in a figure 8. With Cooper standing, you run the outside of your teeth up and down the underside of his penis, moaning with his penis in your throat, lightly caressing his thighs.

He tried to say something between moans and trembles. "Y/N…" his voice came out shaky and you felt a shiver when you heard him say your name at that moment. "I want to cum with you." He moved back, interrupting the continuation of the blowjob.

You stared at him with watery eyes after a few sessions of gagging. "You're the boss, today." And you smiled at him, and he couldn't help but laugh and think about those words, perhaps the best choice of words you can give a man at that moment.

He took your hands and pulled you back up, the difference in size between you was striking. He felt like your protector, you were so fragile today. All he wanted was to take care of you and… well, he was doing it masterfully. He bent down a little and placed a long kiss on your lips, placing his hands on your back and feeling the soft skin that covered you. He didn't want to be rough with you, not today. Not with such a delicate moment, today he wanted to be a gentleman, kind… He couldn't see himself treating you roughly - even though that man wanted to throw you on the bed with all his strength and fuck you until you begged him to stop.

Now, he lightly lowered his lips to your collarbone, leaving wet kisses there. Your neck had now become his domain, he kissed every part and in some he gave light bites. You were breathing roughly, you were embarrassed to moan at that moment. You didn't want to seem like a poor and desperate bitch, even though you knew that Cooper would never think that of his best friend. The connection between you was unbreakable, and, as those kisses on your neck intensified, you knew that desire and vulnerability were intertwined, and you were ready to explore all the nuances of that new reality.

He ran his warm tongue over your collarbone for the last time, causing a strong shiver to run through your body. Now, he had picked you up effortlessly and laid you down on the bed, the way he looked at you made you blush. It was all unbelievable. He was sitting on a corner of the bed, giving him complete freedom of your body. He started another kiss that ended near your underwear. He stared at you as if asking if he could.

"Today I'm yours." You said in a pleasant tone, making him even more excited than he already was. Today you were his.

He removed the piece of clothing that prevented you from being completely naked and threw it somewhere in the room. Nothing mattered at that moment. You wanted him inside you. You wanted to feel him, have him. And as if he were reading your mind, Cooper put his mouth on your genitals; his warm tongue ran all over your intimate area, making you arch your back more and more. His mouth was all over you, as if he was devouring you. He wanted to taste more and more of you. He felt like a hunter with prey in his hands. Today he had you and he wanted to make the most of it.

Cooper's hands were holding your thighs, as if he were stopping you from leaving. He was squeezing you, but not tightly, it was more like a way of showing that he still had a certain dominance while being so tied to you. His fingers dragged along your walls, eliciting increasingly loud moans from you.

"You're already dripping," he said, caressing the entire length of your arousal. Now, his fingers were helping him with the work while his tongue continued to play over your genitals. The touches were almost hesitant, as if they were both exploring the limits of their shared desire. Their ragged breathing filled the air. His fingers followed a slow path, gradually discovering the areas of greatest sensitivity and a shiver ran through your body, each movement increasing the heat that spread through both of you.

His hands carried a firmness that made each second seem eternal. There was a care in his gestures, but also an urgent need to surrender completely to that moment. Your parted lips let out a sigh, as your hips moved along with Cooper's fingers you could feel a different sensation. It was almost certain that you wouldn't last long there, not with that man touching you like that. And he knew it because he started to increase his speed, staring at you from below. And when you exploded in his mouth, he knew he had done a good job.

You were panting, he enjoyed having you completely surrendered, now he knew your weak and sensitive points even more. Now he knew you better than anyone, and he hoped that you could truly surrender yourself only to him. That was what he wanted most.

"Do you have lube and a condom?" he said when he realized that you had already relaxed. In fact, now he wanted more than anything to feel you inside. He didn't usually use lube, but since he had already decided that he would treat you docilely today, he preferred to ask before trying anything else.

"I think there must be some in the drawer, I'll get it" you got up from the bed and went towards your wardrobe. He watched you open some drawers until you found a purple tube and some small packages, which he soon identified as what he had asked for. You approached and handed everything to him, who graced you with a smile.

"Lie down." He asked and you obeyed, lying down on the bed and watching him put the condom on his penis without difficulty. He soon approached you and placed the contents of the bottle at your entrance. The liquid was cold, making you let out a soft sigh. He was careful as he penetrated you, entering you slowly and asking a few times if he was hurting you, which you denied. In a fright, you could already feel the sensation of being filled by Cooper, he moved back and forth while leaning on the bed.

His cock slid inside you with shocking ease, it was as if your bodies belonged to each other. With each thrust you moaned in unison, transforming the room into your private world. Your breathing quickened as he entered you more deeply. The movements were slow and rhythmic, but the pressure increased, the desire intensified. The caresses explored your skin and the most sensitive areas, provoking visceral reactions that echoed through your mind and body. The emotional connection was as strong as the physical one, creating a fusion of pleasure and surrender.

Muffled moans filled the room, desire taking over both of you. As the temperature increased, the rhythm also intensified, your bodies giving in completely to the mutual pleasure, feeling each wave of ecstasy grow and spread like an invisible current. He let out a few inaudible curses and you scratched his back, it was already impossible to measure the strength at that moment. All you were focused on was giving that man what he wanted.

Without warning, Cooper pulled out of you and managed to turn you around so that your back was facing him. Now you were face down and he started to penetrate you again. One hand was holding onto the bed and the other was running down your back, exploring with more confidence, sliding gently over your skin, knowing every inch with instinctive precision. Your body responded to his touch almost immediately. The pressure of his fingers intensified on the back of your neck, causing deep sighs and muffled moans that escaped without control.

The heat between you grew rapidly, and desire took over every movement, your body reacting in an impulse of pure need. Your skin seemed to pulse under his touch, and the rhythm that formed between you was as much a dance as a battle between self-control and surrender. Cooper moved with a mixture of firmness and gentleness, provoking sensations that ran like sparks through your body. Your bodies moved in perfect harmony, closer and closer, more and more connected.

Each movement was more intense than the last, and the touch on the most intimate parts made your body react with spasms of pure ecstasy. The caresses were deep, exploring every nuance, every inch of skin and every area of ​​sensitivity. Your entire body was on alert, responding to each new touch, each new movement. The heat rose unbearably, and the proximity of your bodies made it clear that neither of you wanted to stop. The rhythm increased, the touches became more intense, bolder, as if they both knew exactly where and how to provoke the strongest reaction.

The intensity of the touch between the two of them kept growing, their bodies adjusting in search of greater proximity. With a firm movement, he guided you so that they changed positions. He sat on the bed and pulled you so that you sat on top of him, positioning yourself on his penis. Now, his hands explored your back, slowly moving down, making your breath hitch. He slid his hands around your waist, moving up your torso, while you tilted your head back, giving in to his touch.

He pulled you closer, the direct contact with his body increasing the tension. Your movements were now instinctive, natural. Cooper's hands continued to explore, his touches firmer and more precise, while you felt your desire grow with each second. Your mouths met again, with more urgency, the kiss deepening the heat that already dominated both of you. Your hands, which had been hesitant before, now moved confidently over his body, exploring every muscle, feeling his warm skin against your fingers. Your breaths mingled, the air between them filled with desire and expectation. Cooper held you firmly, controlling the rhythm, but still giving her space to lead what came next.

The change of position left them completely surrendered to the moment, each touch, each sigh making the desire rise even more. Her body moved deliberately, seeking pleasure with precision. The bed creaked under their weight. The sound of heavy breathing and moans of pleasure echoed as your bodies moved together, growing in intensity. Each touch, each movement, was a path of no return; both were in a state of ecstasy, that sensation was completely different from anything they had ever experienced.

The movements intensified, each brush of skin raised the desire to an almost unbearable level. Your body, still in his lap, moved with precision, and Cooper responded with firm hands on your waist, guiding you, the two of you completely in tune. The heat between you seemed to dominate everything around you, overshadowing any thought beyond that moment. You could feel Cooper's breath against your skin, panting, as he leaned in, gently biting your shoulder, each gesture increasing the electricity that ran between you. Your body reacted to each touch, and he could no longer control the moans that escaped, filling the silence of the room.

Cooper tilted his head back, his eyes closed for a brief moment, focused on the pleasure that was rapidly building. The tension between them was reaching its peak, and he could feel his body throbbing against his, both completely surrendered to the moment. The rhythm was accelerating, each movement bringing them closer to climax, the accumulated pleasure ready to explode. Your bodies moved in perfect harmony, accelerating until the final moment. When the climax came, it was like an uncontrollable wave that took over both of them. You contracted in a spasm of pleasure, followed by his, who held your waist tightly, the two of you completely losing yourself in each other.

For a moment, time seemed to stop, your bodies still shuddering with the last waves of pleasure. Silence returned to the room, broken only by the heavy breathing of both of them. Cooper held you firmly, but tenderly, as if he was still processing what had just happened. You lay down with your head on his shoulder, exhausted, but with your heart racing, your body still warm, feeling the last remnants of that moment. The two of you stayed there for a few moments, enjoying the newfound intimacy, the silence filled with everything you had experienced.

Memories of what had just happened swirled in your mind, and shame began to set in. Awkwardly, you rolled to the side, lying next to him on the bed, pulling the sheets up to cover part of your body. Cooper chuckled softly at your expression, clearly embarrassed, and turned to the side, resting his arm around your waist, pulling you slightly closer.

"You look adorable when you're blushing, you know?" he commented, his voice low and still a little hoarse, with a relaxed smile on his face.

You huffed, looking up at the ceiling. "Cooper, please, no… That was… I don't know…" Your voice was hesitant, as if you were trying to find the right words, but failing miserably.

He chuckled again, clearly more at ease with the situation. "I know that was… unexpected. But it was good. Really good." He made sure to emphasize the last part, leaning down to kiss the top of your head. "There's no need to be like this. We're fine."

Your heart was racing, but you didn't know if it was because of the intimacy you had just shared or the uncertainty of what was to come. You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to process everything. Cooper was so relaxed, almost happy, while you were still trying to sort out your own feelings.

"I just… need some time to think," you said finally, glancing at him sideways. "It… changed some things, you know?"

Cooper nodded, not pushing you, his smile softening. "I get it. And I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to decide anything right now." He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, making it clear he was there for you, no pressure.

You looked into his eyes, feeling torn between the comfort he brought and the fear of messing everything up with your feelings. "Thanks, Coops. For everything." Your voice came out almost like a whisper, sincere.

"You know I’d do anything for you." He replied, his voice low but full of certainty. You smiled, turning on your side to face him, your faces close together. Even though you had no idea what the future held for you two, you felt at peace. For now, that was enough. Cooper just smiled back, pulling you closer as you both settled under the blanket. He wrapped his arm around you, snuggling you against his chest, and without another word, you both found your comfort in each other’s warmth.

You closed your eyes, trying not to overthink things. There was still a lot to sort out, but for now, you were together, cozy, and that was all that mattered. With your heart calm and your body relaxed in Cooper's arms, you finally drifted off to sleep, wrapped up in the feeling of safety and the mix of emotions he brought.

hey loves, it's me again! this time i tried to write a more chill smut because i was listening to the old shawn mendes songs and this story popped into my head. hope you guys enjoy it, and thanks for all the love and support on my first smut. by the way, after some comments, i decided to make this one with an implied reader gender; hope i pulled it off. love you all! just a reminder: english isn't my first language, so please be kind.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ reblogs, likes, and kind comments are totally welcome! my inbox is open if anyone wants to request a specific fanfic. ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

[asrielinfected]

I Can Treat You Better

Paring: Jenna Ortega x Female Reader

Summary: You’re speaking to Jenna about your ex boyfriend that broke up with you. Things seem to escalate from then on.

Warning: Profanity

Authors Note: Ngl, I got lazy and rushed a bit. So I apologize if there is any mistakes.🫡

Words counted: 1.4K

You and Jenna were bestfriends since childhood. No matter the situation you both would be there for each other.

And of course you call her to meet up with you, and talk about your toxic relationship with your boyfriend. Well ex boyfriend.

There was a thing about your best friend that you didn’t know. Jenna had been falling for you hard. Ever since you were kids and it never seemed like her feelings for you would stop anytime soon.

When she heard you got a boyfriend she was absolutely devastated, but she knew that she needed to stay positive and supportive for the sake of your friendship.

So when she heard you guys broke up she couldn’t help, but feel a little relieved.

You’re currently here with Jenna, sitting at a table in a restaurant, gossiping about how toxic he was, while Jenna listens.

“I can’t believe I even dated that guy. He was a fucking jerk. I was just too blind to notice,” You rolled your eyes to the thought of him and grumbled as you took a sip of your drink.

“Yeah, Y/N from the way you described him he is a total asshole, I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Jenna commented.

“I know right!? Who the hell does he think he is, moving on so fast. Actually.. I’m going to see who he decided to leave me for, I feel sorry for them.”

As you pick up your phone to go look you kept on rambling about him, but Jenna still seemed to listen no matter how much you talked, not taking her eyes off you for even a second.

Jenna finally decides to speak again after you’ve been angrily talking about your ex.

“I can treat you better than he can,” Jenna says quietly but loud enough for you to hear.

You then put down your phone, and look at your friend after those words came out of her mouth.

“What did you say, Jen?,” You looked at Jenna Ortega with confusion.

You were so oblivious to Jenna’s feelings towards you.

Jenna finally snaps out of her loving gaze she was staring at you with, and immediately started to think about something to cover up what she just said.

“I meant that he treated you shitty. If I were him I wouldn’t have ever thought of leaving,”

“Oh, exactly! I was such a good girlfriend to him. Still he chose to be disloyal.”

After you said that, there was some silence between you two until you spoke again.

“Yknow I’m so glad we’re friends, Jen,”

As those words left your mouth Jenna couldn’t help, but smile. “Im glad too, Y/N,”

There’s a thing about you that made her fall in love. You always made her feel wanted when she was with you. You were truly a great friend to her. She just wishes you both could be more.

You smile back at her, but then you soon realized that you had to get back to your house, because you were about to have company over.

“Shit! I lost track of time. I’m sorry but I have to leave. I’ll text you when I get home.”

You grabbed your things, quickly pay for the bill, and leave. But not without giving Jenna a hug.

Jenna wished that hug would’ve lasted longer but fully understood you had other places to be. And with that, Jenna also puts all her stuff in her purse and returns to her apartment.

She went ahead and hopped in the shower for 30 minutes, and then went to get dressed in her pajamas to relax.

Jenna checked her phone, and saw the message you left for her 10 minutes ago.

It read, “Me family came. sorre that we could not had talke more longer :(”

jenna saw the message, and texted her back, “No worries. Also Y/N your grammar is awful.”

“Go fuck yourself, Ortega”

Jenna snickers at your response, “no need to get angry Y/N, Im going to go to sleep, love you.”

Jenna texted that, and went ahead to close her phone. She laid down on her bed, about to go to sleep but she had a notification pop up on her screen saying,

“Love u toooo”

Jenna Ortega smiled brightly at the sight, and then went to sleep.

The next morning she was awaken to noise in her kitchen. She lives alone.

She knew being famous would mean meeting crazy fans, but not a person breaking into her home!

The poor girl was already jumping into conclusions.

She quickly grabbed her pepper spray and walked slowly to the kitchen, and saw that the persons back was facing towards her.

The mysterious person turns around when they heard footsteps stop. As they do, they get sprayed in the eye with pepper spray.

It turns out it was just you making breakfast for Jenna.

Once Jenna noticed it was you she immediately threw the pepper spray on the ground.

You screamed in agony as you fell on the ground.

“WHAT THE FUCK, JEN!?”

Jenna may had forgot that she gave you the keys to her apartment.

“Shit! I’m so sorry!”

She quickly ran to get you water. As soon as you got the water you poured it on your eyes, hoping that the pain will go away.

Newsflash, it didn’t.

It still helped ease the pain though. Jenna kept on apologizing as she sat you down in her bedroom.

“Jenna please be quiet, it was an accident it’s fine”

“No Y/N that was completely my fault. I totally forgot that I gave you a key to my apartment. Yknow how fans are these days. Can you at least open your eyes”

“I’ll try,” You say as you opened both of your eyes, but not completely. All you saw when you opened your eyes was Jenna’s face close to yours.

Jenna obviously knew what she was doing but has to stay professional because she was the one who caused this.

“Just wait a few minutes. It’ll feel better. I’m sorry again”

You nodded, and closed your eyes again as your back laid down on Jenna’s bed.

It had been quiet for a few minutes and Jenna went ahead, and broke it.

“Y/N, can I just say something really quick. I know this isn’t the time, but you’re already here.”

You sighed and sat up in Jenna’s bed again, you could now open your eyes again without it hurting like hell, “Go ahead and say it, Jen.”

What you didn’t prepare for is that Jenna was about to confess her whole entire feelings to you.

The girl took a deep breath in before speaking, and she spoke quickly, “Y/N I can’t hold back my feelings for you anymore. I had feelings for you for a while, and I mean, a while. I know this isn’t the proper time, because I just pepper sprayed you, and your boyfriend broke up with you, but I feel like I wouldn’t have an opportunity like this again if I don’t say my feelings for you. I love you I really do. I can treat you better than those guys, if you just gave me the chance to do so.

You stared at Jenna with wide eyes, your mouth open in shock and you trying to process all that she said.

This is why she never spoke about her relationship status, this is why she avoided questions about having an crush, this is why.

It’s all starting to come together now.

You actually did not know what to do in this situation. Your best friend had romantic feelings for you. How could you be this dumb.

But then, Jenna let her inner thoughts win over her, and hesitated before grabbing both sides of your face and pulling you into a kiss.

You were even more stunned when she did that.

You felt her try to deepen the kiss and you instantly pull away.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t deal with this today..”

You quickly get off her bed and leave the apartment.

Leaving her disappointed and guilty on why would she do that and say that.

First your boyfriend broke up with you. Second, you get pepper sprayed by your bestfriend, because she thought you were an intruder. Lastly, that bestfriend confessed her feeling for you, and kissed you.

This is a lot to take in

[joocomics]

I really love your works, and the things you write for jiung ...ughh soo incredibly💕✨️

could you write more about him, anything you want, him being teasing in public, just anything :)

tags: soft dom!jiung x fem!reader, friends to lovers (?), edging (f!rec), praise kink, light choking | mdni

song rec: treat you better - shawn mendes

“don’t let him ruin your night.” jiung’s voice finds you through the banging techno music.

you nod, repeating his encouraging words in your mind, trying to let them do their magic so you can really forget about your ex being meters away from you. the club is suffocating from people, yet the face you’ve been trying so hard to forget is all you see.

you feel jiung taking your face in his hands, his thumbs form gentle patterns on your cheeks that slowly bring you back into reality; drifting you away from the unpleasant memories. it seems that his touch definitely works quicker than his words.

“y/n, look at me.” despite almost shouting in order for his command to dominate the vibrant scene of the night club his tone still has a note of pleading that rings out to you. “focus on my voice… my hands.”

your fingers find support in his shirt as you tug on the collar. you don’t know what it is. is it the power of his voice, the heavy energy around you, gravity, or some unknown secret desires that live inside you, but something pulls you closer into him.

you’ve never been this close to your friend before. the feeling of having your lips centimetres apart from his is something new, but for some reason it doesn’t feel wrong. not at all.

there were times when you’ve enjoyed the scent of his cologne, but it hasn’t made your head dizzy like this, - and you’re only slightly tipsy so it’s not from the cocktail you had. you’re certainly far from drunk, but there’s a possibility that a few more minutes in his embrace can get you lightheaded as if you are.

and his gaze… it definitely hasn’t made you feel like you’re being tortured by thousands of butterflies inside your tummy like it does right now.

“your hands…”

“yeah? tell me.” jiung’s lips turn into a soft smile with just a hint of mischief as he moves them lower on your body, savouring every curve.

“keep them on me,” you beg as your own palms shift around his neck. your thumbs brush his chiseled jawline as you stay pressed into each other, swaying out of sync with the music and the rest of the crowd. his voice has created another kind of melody that you rather move to. “please..”

“i’m not letting you go.”

these kinds of words said by a friend would normally wrap around you like a comfort blanket, however, as you look at jiung now, gorgeously painted from the neon lights with hands roaming on your lower waist and heavy breaths sticking to your face like secret kisses… they make your skin hot; they got you thinking of kissing him.

you don’t realise that you’ve been chewing on your lips until jiung lifts up your chin and swipes his thumb over them without minding your lipstick. his digit brushes the upper row of your teeth before you let it sneak inside your mouth and rest on your tongue. such a small taste of him, but invites an immense amount of adrenaline rush inside your chest.

“can i kiss you?” he asks with a raspier voice, watching you unwrap your soft lips.

and you say yes.

you find yourselves in his apartment. you’ve been here before, but this is the first time you’re laying in his bed - only in your bra with legs spread wide. one of his pillows is placed underneath your lower body with a dark spot forming from the way your arousal builds up, dripping from your cunt.

“doing so well for me,” jiung coos softly while observing your squirming figure. at one point he has to hold you down with a palm pressed against your lower tummy so he can keep his attention on your sensitive spot. “so perfect…”

his index finger continues to move in circles just as slow as it did when he started toying with your clit. occasionally he slips inside you to spread around your slick, making your puffy lips glisten nicely, then he resumes to the overwhelming little shapes in infuriating speed.

you whimper as his slow finger suddenly stops. it freezes in one place causing the thrill to fade away from your core leaving only the lingering warmth that you desperately need to feel snapping.

“jiung… w-why…” you arch your spine, feeling the tip of his fingers brushing against your stomach lightly as a feather; from your bellybutton up to your neckline. they crawl to your neck, wrapping around it just as gently, before he leans to kiss you.

you can’t stop yourself from whimpering in his mouth, feeling so stimulated from every single thing he does to you.

“gonna make you cum now, sweetheart.” jiung’s words almost end with a groan as a reaction from the way he feels you gulping against his hand. “it’s just… you look so pretty when you’re all needy like this, i wanted to look at you a little bit longer.” he pulls back, one hand holding your left thigh, as the other one returns to your clit. “wanna cum now, is that it?”

“yeah, really bad…” you shut your eyes sensing the familiar light brushing of his digit. it barely touches the swollen bud, but you’re so turned on, it instantly shoots pleasure into your tummy. “jiung—“ you moan, grabbing the bedsheets.

he glides it so easily and smoothly from how wet you are; drawing perfect circular patterns that have you feeling like you’re about to melt into the surface.

“go ahead, beautiful,” he encourages you, but without changing the pace of his rubs. “cum for me, i want to see you.”

his gaze is fixated on your convulsing figure that’s succumbed to his control, on the way you whimper and tug the sheets desperately, but his finger doesn’t speed up. it keeps the slow motions going till you start to lose control over your voice, breathing; over your own body.

after you open your eyes you realise that even the butterflies tattoed on his skin look different than they did the last time you saw them. nothing feels the same when you fall in love with your closest friend.

a/n: tysm for reading my works! i’m glad you like them <3 i thought of this scenario while listening to the mentioned song, so i hope you enjoy how this turned out too!! ♡

[sanakiras]

TREAT YOU BETTER

PAIRING — lee chan x fem!reader

WORD COUNT — 3.7k

SYNOPSIS — your boyfriend of five months has been treating you like hell, and one of your closest friends, lee chan, refuses to let it go on any longer, taking matters into his own hands.

TAGS — college au, best friends to lovers, cheating, explicit sexual content, mutual pining, mentions of reader struggling with low self-esteem, cheesy stuff, yes i did come up with this after accidentally listening to treat you better by shawn mendes, this didn’t turn out as good i hoped it would but oh well!

NOTE — first fic here. he looks so good in the wait m/v so i wanted to write something for him :D my beloved

the slam of the door behind you rings through your ears. you try to wipe your cheeks dry, hoping you don’t look like the tearful mess you are.

your voice feels raw from yelling for the past hour or so. it’s been going like this for the past two months at least twice a week, and you’re exhausted because of it.

as the rain pours, you notice the familiar car driving towards you, bright lights feeling heavy on your eyes. you open the door without hesitation to let yourself sink into the passenger’s seat, taking a few deep breaths, all without looking at the driver.

but the quiet sobs escaping you are enough to give it away.

chan has his one arm leaning on top of the steering wheel, the other gently touching your shoulder to make you look at him, but you refuse.

“i’m fine,” you stutter out, sniffing from the cold, “really.”

of course you’re not fine. both of you are more than aware of the toxicity of the situation. you getting into arguments with your boyfriend several times a week, resulting in you calling chan and staying over at his apartment for a night, only to hear you make it up to the guy the next day when you weren’t even in the wrong to begin with.

“we have a different definition of that, then.”

“it was just an argument. we’ll work it out in a couple hours.”

“it’s not normal.” he says, trying to get it through your thick skull without raising his voice. “it’s not normal, baby.”

you sniff, trying to somehow get rid of the pain beating against your forehead. “he can be so mean, and then… then he’s so sweet again.”

chan wants to rip his hair out of his head. five fucking months of this have passed at this point, and he doesn’t know how much more of it he can take. he’s not sure how to handle the situation the right way, either.

he’s been in love with you for years. years. since sophomore year in high school. it was never his intention to fall in love with you, nor did he think he would, but he did, and god did he fall hard. embarrassingly hard.

nevertheless, he was always too afraid to make a move. too afraid that you’d reject him and he’d be out of your life forever like he was never there in the first place.

but he’s grown up now. third year of university, twenty-two years old, longer hair, a leather jacket and a solid bunch of experiences. some great, some he’d rather forget.

and so five months ago, he’d finally mustered the courage. he was finally going to own up to his feelings and tell you the truth.

only for you to excitedly come up to him, telling him you’re seeing this guy. and it made his heart sink in his chest, but he pushed his feelings to the side for your happiness.

or so he tried.

your boyfriend treats you like shit. he was sweet in the beginning — they always are.

then the cracks in the façade started to show.

it’s not that you don’t see it. you do — but it’s difficult to leave when someone knows just how to keep you where they want you. every time you tell yourself you’re gonna break up with him, he sweet-talks you and says things can be fixed, and that going through a rough patch is normal.

but chan knows better.

he just needs you to know better as well.

it breaks his heart to see his favorite person let herself get hurt like this. he becomes a little more torn with every sob leaving your body, every tear spilling from your eyes.

he gently puts the buds of his fingertips on your chin and jaw, slowly turning your face to him so he can look you in the eye.

the tears are still quietly running down your cheeks, your face numb, now devoid of any emotion, ashamed to have him see you in this state.

“you’re killing yourself like this.” he whispers, voice laced with concern. “he’ll never make you happy.”

you sniff from your breakdown. “maybe it’s me. maybe i just need to stop giving him such a hard time—”

“don’t even think about finishing that sentence.”

“please, chan, just… just go and get me somewhere else. all i need is some breathing space — please.” you beg him.

he wants to scream, wants to tell you to break up with him for good, wants to walk into that damn house and do it himself — but he can’t.

instead, he obliges, driving you to his place.

his cozy one-person apartment feels like the best place in the world to you — the one place where you can get away from everything else.

you watch chan as he locks the door behind him, then leaning against it for a moment as he watches you sit on the armrest of the soft chair. “you okay? want some tea?”

the corners of your lips curl up at the suggestion. he knows you awfully well. “that’d be great.”

his lashes flutter before he nods, kicking his shoes off by the door.

once he’s busy in the kitchen, you bite your lip as you recall the way he softly talked to you in the car, eyes trailing past the curves of his arms and the sharpness of his jawline.

he’s dated more than you have. not much in high school, but definitely during the past three years he’s spent at college. though it doesn’t surprise you. he has such warmth to him, with the beautifully infectious sound of his laughter, that big smile and some of the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen.

it wasn’t until recently you began to see him in a different light. whenever you saw him with a new girl, arm around her waist or over her shoulders, you secretly imagined yourself next to him more than once. you can’t believe you didn’t take notice of how handsome he was before.

but you’re too much of a coward to tread over that line of friendship, too much of a coward to see if maybe, just maybe, your feelings are requited.

“wanna stay here for a while?” he asks, hoping you’ll at least spend the night here before you go back to your boyfriend, as you’ve done countless times before.

“yeah. don’t feel like going back yet.” you smile, trying to somewhat make light of the situation.

“then don’t.”

you sigh at his response. “it’s not that easy.”

“why not?”

“because i don’t wanna throw something away the second things get hard.”

“there’s a difference between hard and unbearable. your case is the latter.”

feeling backed into a corner, even though he hardly means to do so, you turn the topic on him. “you’ve had some rough experiences with past girlfriends too and you stuck around.”

god. if only you knew he ended up leaving them because he never enjoyed being with them as much as he enjoyed being with you. “you’d be surprised.” he mutters under his breath, pouring two cups of tea, making yours exactly as he knows you like.

when you stay quiet, he tries to think of a way to get it through your head that you need to break up with your resident ass of a boyfriend.

“can i ask you something?”

“sure.”

“what’s it going to take for you to leave him?”

the question makes you look up before using a tone that almost sounds like you’re scolding him. “chan.”

“i’m serious. he’s treating you like shit. you call me crying every week.”

“it’s just—”

“no, it’s not ‘just a tough time’. you know it isn’t.” he interrupts, jaw clenched tight but voice controlled. he will not yell at you like that piece of trash does. “he’s a controlling, manipulative asshole. it’s not gonna get better. if anything, he’ll just treat you worse in the future.”

“yeah, well, not all of us have people lined up.”

the words have left your mouth before you can comprehend it, leaving you to lower your head in regret. not that it’s any less true. to you, anyway.

“what, and i do?”

“don’t you?”

he’s not sure what baffles him more — you thinking that he’s got girls lined up to date him or you thinking that you don’t have anyone else out there that would be willing to date you.

“what’s this really about?” he sits down on the empty coffee table, facing you directly. “what does my dating life have to do with yours?”

“nothing — it doesn’t. i never said it did.”

“then why the comment about me having people lined up? which i don’t, by the way.”

the answer sits at the tip of your tongue, but you can’t bring yourself to say it without looking away from him. “maybe not. but at least you won’t end up alone. i can’t say the same for myself.”

and there it is. the sole reason you’re still with the guy. your crippling fear of ending up alone, your heavy insecurity that makes you believe no one could possibly want you.

the last thing he wants is for you to get hurt — but he’d rather have you suffer through your first heartbreak than end up with someone who walks all over you like a doormat.

“please don’t take this the wrong way, sweetheart, but if you think that low of yourself, you’re a little stupid.”

the comment makes you snort. “well, it’s certainly fitting.”

he wipes some of your half-dried tears away, his one hand remaining to cup your cheek, an alarmingly intimate gesture.

“aside from the fact that there’s nothing wrong or shameful about ending up alone... i need you to know that you’re worth it. you’re gorgeous and intelligent and—” he halts for a moment, in a way confessing his love for you, not caring how cheesy it sounds, “—you deserve everything you want. ‘cause you’re one in a million.”

fuck, has he always looked at you that lovingly?

his words catch you off-guard for a moment before you press your lips together. “as much as i think it’s sweet of you to say those things, you’re only saying them ‘cause you’re my friend.” you interrupt him, having made up your mind.

after which chan shakes his head, gently twirling a strand of your hair between his fingers. “i’m saying it because it’s true. any guy would be lucky to have you in his life.”

“i don’t think ‘lucky’ is the term my boyfriend would use.”

“yeah, ‘cause he’s a fucking dick.” he immediately comments, adding the next part with a softer tone. “if you were with me, i sure as shit wouldn’t be acting like that.”

that last sentence catches your attention, and chan realizes what he just said, suddenly very aware he’s treading on thin ice now.

but it had to come out one way or another.

though you seem to be going along with his words, not showing any signs of being uncomfortable with it. “and who’s to say you wouldn’t break my heart?”

he sees the intrigue on your face and decides to lean in closer. “if i broke your heart, i’d be breaking mine as well.”

“i’m not convinced.” you murmur, just loud enough for him to hear, and chan feels his heartbeat quicken.

every rational thought going through his mind is thrown out of the window the moment he catches you staring at his lips. it’s enough for him to put his hand on your lower cheek and smash his lips against yours.

he kisses you like he always imagined he would. perhaps a little too enthusiastically, but he’s waited too long for this moment to care.

and you’re kissing him back.

you both get hot from adrenaline and arousal. his hands roam down your hips, but when you start pulling on the collar of his jacket, he finally has it in him to break the kiss.

“are you sure you want this? i don’t want you to feel pressured—”

“i’ve wanted this for so long, chan. take it off, please.”

maybe he should pinch himself to make sure he’s not dreaming. you’re underneath him, lips swollen, gazing at him like he’s your whole world and more.

he leans down again to pick you up, ensuring you’ve got your legs wrapped around his waist so he can carry you to his bedroom.

once he lays you down on the soft bed, you watch him take off his jacket and throw his shirt over his head, leaving him with his chest bare, elastic waistband of his underwear visible.

he’s a dancer in his spare time, but you know he’s been hitting the gym recently as well, and it’s paying off, noticing his bigger biceps and toned abs.

then he chuckles from the way you’re observing him, and that smile — that beautifully big smile is what you fell in love with.

one of many things, really.

you remove your basic long-sleeved shirt, exposing your skin before him, enjoying the way he’s looking at the black bra you’re wearing underneath.

you’re seated at the edge of the bed, at eye-level with his chest, which you kiss softly.

he follows your actions like a hawk, unable to keep his eyes off you. he proceeds to move your hair behind your shoulder, his right hand finding your jaw when he kisses you again, lips trailing down to your neck and collarbone.

his touches are slow and sensual. at the end of the day, it’s your first time together, and you both notice the pressure and tension that comes with it.

you’re both aching to touch each other more already, but it feels so much better like this.

he gently pushes you to lay on your back, hovering over you to kiss down your chest and stomach, smoothly pulling down your skirt before his fingers hook onto the fabric of your lace underwear.

“what’d you want me to do, pretty girl?” he asks while getting rid of your panties, looking you in the eye as he does it.

the nickname makes you shiver. “you can do anything you wanna do.”

“wanna eat you out. bet i’m better at it than that motherfucker.”

“not hard to beat when he never does it at all.” you mumble to yourself, but he hears it.

“are you kidding? has he ever even made you cum?”

you just give him a deadpan stare that has a hint of embarrassment to it, which is enough for him to know the answer.

just being aware of how bad that fucker treats you makes him want to prove to you that he can make you feel so, so much better. and that’s exactly what he’s gonna do.

he wastes no time, spreading your legs so his tongue can get to work. you shiver at the feeling of his mouth on you, biting your lower lip to not squeal already from sensitivity.

“no. none of that. i wanna be able to hear every sound you make.” he says after taking your hand away from your mouth. “you can pull on my hair if you like.”

“do you like that?”

“yeah, i enjoy a bit of pain.”

that makes you giggle a bit. “you masochist.”

to which he responds with a gentle pinch to your skin. “keep it in mind for next time, baby.”

fuck — you definitely will.

your hands run through his soft black hair. you’ve locked your legs behind his head, hips bucking up a little every time he hits a spot that feels good, his warm breath and wetness of his mouth on your pussy turning you on like crazy.

chan is pretty sure he’s descending into heaven when he hears you moan his name for the first time. he doesn’t know how many times he’s fucked his fist imagining that sound.

so he adds a finger to the warm and wet mess between your legs, sliding in easily, biting his own lip as he watches your reaction to it. you’ve got your head thrown back, one hand fisting the sheets, the other still holding his locks.

then he moves to a second, and not much later he’s got three of his fingers pumping in and out of you, arching them a little to find the right spot, rubbing and sucking on your clit.

“does that feel good?” he asks, just a bit out of breath, which is nothing compared to the writhing mess that’s you. he keeps messing with the pace, edging you a little every time, making you go crazy.

“please, channie, please let me cum—”

“i will if you answer me, baby.”

you whine, nodding at him desperately. “feels s’good, so fucking good.”

“want me to go faster?”

“please. god—need you inside me so bad.”

even he can resist so much. you’re so good for him, so he increases the pace of his fingers, relishing in the way you start squirming underneath him, trying to push him away and pull him closer all the same.

then you pull on his hair almost violently, making him moan against your pussy as you hit your first climax in a long time.

and he doesn’t stop yet — only once he sees you’ve regained focus does he pull his fingers out of you, sucking on them to savor the taste right before kissing you again, your trembling body aching for him.

he only breaks the kiss to reach for the drawer in his nightstand, grabbing a condom out of it, getting off of you to push off the last pieces of clothing still on him. the realization of the fact that your best friend is about to fuck you after god knows how long finally begins to dawn on you, and it makes your heart beat that much harder.

once he’s slipped the condom on, you move your hands to his neck and shoulders, biting your lip when you feel him push your legs behind his waist.

you gasp when he bottoms out of you for the first time. his head is buried in the crook of your neck as he finds his rhythm, sucking at your sensitive skin, not giving a damn whether he leaves marks on someone that’s technically not even his.

yet.

“do you remember that time we went to senior prom together?” he asks breathily, not slowing down even a little bit. “you were wearing that pretty blue dress. god, i wanted to take you home that night more than anything.”

you remember that. it was just before you two graduated high school together — he looked so dashing in his suit. you’d even imagined kissing him underneath the basketball bleachers like some cliche rom-com.

“so why didn’t you?”

“was too much of a pussy to do it.”

you bring yourself to chuckle inbetween your moans. “that’s a shame. i would’ve let you.”

just knowing that his feelings are reciprocated turns him on. he lifts his head up a little, kissing the front of your neck, your jaw, your cheeks — everything, only halting for a moment when he fucks you just a little faster, watching the way your eyes roll back from pleasure.

your hands run over his strong back as he pushes in and out of you at a steady pace, your lip nearly bleeding from how hard you’re biting it.

he hisses and relishes in the burning feeling of your nails digging into his shoulder blades.

“chan—god, harder, please—”

“i know, baby, i know, i got you.” he breathes out, changing up the position by hooking your legs over his shoulders.

it hits the exact right spot when he fucks you again, harder and deeper this time, your hands desperately clinging onto his skin, teeth sinking into your lower lip until they're nearly drawing blood.

beads of sweat roll down his muscular back. he feels you’re getting closer to hitting that release, so he moves one hand down to rub your clit again, aching to see you fall apart underneath him.

“fuck, ’s too much, channie—” you whine, throwing your head back in the pillow for a moment.

but he shakes his head, continuing, knowing you’re close. “you can do it, pretty girl. cum for me again. i wanna feel it.”

and he discovers that begging you works wonders, because it’s enough for you to come undone, clamping on his dick, making it feel so tight that he spills his own release into the condom mere seconds after.

with a layer of sweat on your foreheads, he feels how sensitive you are when he pulls out. he throws the condom in the trashcan, turning his face back to yours and kisses your lips more softly this time.

“how do you feel?”

“a little worn out.” you sigh, proceeding to show a smile. “but better.”

“good. how do you feel about taking a bath?”

“sounds nice.”

chan can’t help himself and leans in to kiss you again. he’s already getting awfully used to this, but one issue remains. “i wanna be with you. i meant everything i said tonight.”

the sentiment warms your heart. he’s always had that effect on you. “i know. i wanna be with you, too.”

he nods, happy with your words. “you go on ahead to the bathroom. i’ll clean things up here.”

“okay.” you tell him, pressing another kiss to his cheek before leaving the bedroom, feeling utterly lovesick.

he shares your feelings — it’s like he’s reliving that exciting feeling of seeing you the first few days after he realized he was in love with you.

there’s something that pulls him out of it, though. a certain vibrating sound. what is that? he thinks to himself.

and after looking around the room, he discovers it’s a phone receiving a call. your phone, to be exact, sitting in the back pocket of the jeans you discarded earlier.

the screen of your cellphone lights up, and he picks up the device, about to let you know someone’s calling — but his voice gets caught in his throat when he notices it’s the asshole who made you cry in the first place.

scoffing to himself, he taps the red button and declines the call.

thank you for reading. let me know if u enjoyed it x

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[sweetiepoison]

Famous Baby (social media blurb)

Who’s (Y/f/n) (Y/l/n) Dating Now?

(Y/f/n) (y/l/n) has been in the spotlight since she was 15 so it’s no surprise her relationships have been as well. From first love to whirlwind romance , we’ve seen it all from the singing sensation. She’s mainly been in serious relationships, but the lineup is impressive.

Shawn Mendes

(Y/l/n) and Mendes came into the spotlight around the same time. The pair met, instantly hit it off, and became the new young Hollywood “it” couple. They dated for three years from 2014-2017 and wrote a few of their hit songs about each other. (Y/f/n)’s song ‘Dandelions’ on her debut album is about Mendes. The love wasn’t one sided though, as Mendes reveled many of his love songs were about (y/l/n). After winning an American Music Award, Mendes said, “All of my songs are about her, so this award is as much hers as it is mine, she’s my inspiration.

We loved watching their young love romance evolve, but the two split in early 2017. (Y/f/n) discussed the breakup on the Jimmy Fallon show. “We just realized we were growing apart and going in different directions, but he will always hold a special place in my heart as my first love and no can ever replace that.”

Harry Styles

The British singer is (y/l/n)’s longest and most high profile relationship. The two began dating at the end of 2017 and remained together for four years before breaking things off. Their love caught the attention of the world and had many talking. It’s believed Styles hit song, Adore you is about (y/l/n) before they were official.

The couple raised the bar for relationships. Harry took (y/f/n) on a vacation to Greece for her 21st birthday. Which she followed up by throwing him a massive surprise party with all of his close friends and family. When asked about their relationship in an interview (y/l/n) said, “Harry is the type of boyfriend girls dream of. He loves me so well and he wears his heart on his sleeves which is beautiful.”

The breakup came as a surprise to many as it seemed the couple was going strong. It didn’t last for long though as they got back together at the end of 2022 before finally calling it quits mid 2023. Neither have revealed why they split, but both have remained consistent and committed to supporting each other.

Michael B. Jordan

During her brief break with Harry, (y/f/n) dated Creed actor, Michael B. Jordan. Despite the 11 year age gap the couple had a lot in common and spent plenty of special occasions together. Jordan helped her celebrate her 24th birthday where we got their most infamous pictures together as a couple.

The relationship lasted 10 months before they broke up and (y/l/n) was back with Styles. Despite the sudden end Jordan had only good things to say, “She’s an amazing, hardworking woman who deserves all the success she’s had.”

Auston Matthews

The newest boyfriend on the list may be NHL superstar, Auston Matthews. An insider reveals they saw Matthews and (y/l/n) at a bar together in Toronto. They were with a group of friends including Justin and Hailey Bieber, but the two seemed particularly close. The pair was also spotted leaving together at the end of the night. While nothing is confirmed, we could definitely get behind this match.

[allaboutsturns]

Perfectly Wrong

christopher sturniolo x reader

content/warning(s): angst, toxic relationship, verbal abuse.

summary: you and chris realize that your relationship is rather toxic and that the two of you are perfectly wrong for each other but no longer working as a couple no matter how hard you try to work. you make the final, hard, decision on whether to stay or go.

taste the poison from your lips,

lately we're as good as gone.

you shifted nervously on the stool that you were seated on as you watched your boyfriend, chris, closely. the two of you had hardly interacted all day. you were feeling incredibly touch deprived; it had been a day or two since chris last kissed you.

he got into these moods sometimes where he didn't even want to look at you and it crushed you but you always stayed because you knew the him you fell in love with would come back, and to be fair, you got in your moods too. sometimes you would snap at chris because you got too overwhelmed and sometimes you would start arguments just because it was a defense mechanism.

you grew up with parents who constantly argued and used you as their mediator so you were almost always apart of the argument. to you, arguing meant that you loved the person.

you shifted again, wanting to touch him, your body begged to be held by him and you knew that because you felt a painful ache throughout the entirety of you.

chris was making dinner for everyone so you felt guilty about wanting him all to yourself, but you couldn't help it. he was yours and you were his and you just wanted some time to have him to yourself.

after a mental battle with yourself, you slowly stood up from the stool and looked at your feet as you shuffled towards your boyfriend, "chris..?" you whispered. his back was turned to you but you still looked at him with doe eyes, so afraid that he was going to yell at you. you felt your body begin to shake with anxiety and you tried to calm it but you couldn't.

chris sighed loudly before placing the utensils in his hands down on the countertop. he turned around and looked down at you with an annoyed expression on his face, "what." he stated harshly. you looked back down at your feet as your fingers fidgeted with each other shakily.

"i just miss you... can i have a kiss?" you asked quietly, afraid that if you spoke to loudly he would snap.

chris rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated chuckle, "is that seriously what you're bothering me for?" he asked, his tone sounded angry. he pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes tightly, almost as if he was suffering from a terrible headache that wouldn't go away.

you caved into yourself, still looking at the ground. you just needed one kiss, one hug, one touch, and you would be happy. why couldn't he just give you that?

"chris... please, baby," you pleaded. he shook his head before turning his body away from you and back towards the food that was cooking on the stove. you looked up when you no longer felt his sharp gaze and felt tears tug at your waterline.

"fine." you mumbled while taking a few steps backwards, "fuck you, asshole." you whispered to yourself before turning away and walking to you and chris' shared room.

the moment you shut the bedroom door the tears began to fall. a thunderstorm roared in your mind as your eyes poured rain. you slid down the door and brought your knees tightly into your chest trying to hold yourself together so you didn't break. your body heaved roughly as sobs escaped your soft, parted lips.

crack.

'fuck, chris. one kiss. i just wanted one kiss... or even a hug... you could've just brushed my hair out of my face and kissed the top of my head and that would've been enough.' thunder cracked repeatedly and the absence of lightning made you incredibly anxious.

crack.

'i can't do this anymore... i can't. fuck but i love him so much. damnit.' the thunder echoed through your mind again.

you couldn't do it anymore. you wanted to be able to so badly and you knew that you would continue to fight for your relationship no matter how badly you wanted to quit, you just didn't know how much longer you'd be able to before your body physically gave up on yourself and chris.

-

you know how much it hurts

every time you say you hate me.

"fucking god damnit, chris!" your voice boomed throughout the house. you could see chris flinch at the loudness of your voice but you were too blinded by anger to acknowledge it. you picked fights pretty often and he always hates it when you do. chris knows you can't help it but he doesn't know how much more he can take.

"you're always screwing around! are you fucking stupid?! like i'm genuinely asking, chris, because i don't know anymore." you shouted, walking closer to him so you were directly in his face. he moved his face away from yours for a moment before looking directly into your eyes, his own completely barren of emotion, almost as if a switch had gone off in his head, like he had turned his emotions off.

"yeah, hah. yeah i am 'fucking stupid'. can't believe it took you this long to notice." he said blankly, looking directly into your eyes. your eyebrows furrowed and your nose scrunched with anger.

"fuck you. you think you're so fucking funny with the sarcasm." you scoffed. he shrugged and moved his eyes away from yours, now looking behind you, seemingly uninterested in the conversation at hand. you threw your hands up in defeat, "i can't stand you. god i fucking hate you." you growled before walking to the front door. you stopped for a moment and looked back at the boy that you forgot you loved in this moment. you could see that the emotion had returned to his eyes and face, you could see the tears pooling in his eyes and the shake of his gentle hands. that was the last thing on your mind right now though.

"don't text me, don't call me, don't reach out and don't have your brothers reach out for you," you paused and took a deep breath before continuing.

"i just can't even look at you right now or i'll explode. i'll be back in a couple days." you finished your sentence and grabbed the door handle, turning it and pulling the door open. chris watched as you shut the door behind you and disappeared. he didn't want you to go, he wanted to fix this and talk to you but you were in one of your moods. his heart panged in his chest as he heard your car start. you were seriously leaving. you had gotten into heated arguments before where nick and/or matt had to intervene, but you had never actually left and he was horrified that you did.

crack.

'what if she doesn't come back... oh god please come back. i need you, ma... please don't do this to me. not now.' his mind boomed as a thunderstorm erupted throughout every corner of his brain. he couldn't stop the thoughts that kept coming at him like a freight train.

after thirty minutes of standing in the same exact spot, unmoving (aside from the body tremors he was experiencing due to overwhelming emotion), waiting for you to come back as tears fell aggressively from his eyes, he turned and walked to your shared room. he was too tired to keep waiting and he wasn't a damn dog, he had no clue why he was acting like one.

he grabbed one of your hoodies from your side of the closet and hugged it tightly against his chest before curling up on your side of the bed. he was too shaky to get under the covers so he just laid on top of the comforter and fell asleep, breathing in your scent which lingered on the hoodie he grabbed.

-

there's no use,

we were made to break.

after a couple months of smooth sailing in your relationship, chris fell into one of his moods again. it was an endless cycle and for some fucking reason the two of you couldn't break it. you knew that you both needed some hardcore therapy, but you guys were too stubborn to admit it and take action. you didn't want to be so vulnerable around a stranger the way you'd need to be during therapy and chris didn't want to come across as weak for attending therapy.

you looked at the tv as you quickly clicked through various tv shows and movies, trying to find something that would catch your attention. chris sat a couple inches away from you and rubbed his eyes, the bright screen shining in the dark room began to elicit a headache, "can you fucking pick something?" he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before looking over at you.

you nodded quickly and put on a random show, "yeah... sorry." you said quietly as the show began to play in the background. chris rolled his eyes so hard you thought they might fall out of his head. he looked back at the tv and his face twisted in annoyance, "the fuck is this shit." he scoffed. you wanted to shrink into yourself, wanted the couch to swallow you whole and allow someone else to deal with his shitty attitude but you knew that wouldn't happen and you couldn't take it anymore. you were about to crack.

"hello? like you put on a stupid ass show and then don't answer?" he said, his tone sharper than a knife. you closed your eyes tightly trying to fight the anger and annoyance and sadness surging through your body. you knew it was time but you were so scared and felt your heart breaking.

"damnit, chris." you mumbled before standing up and throwing your hands up, "i can't do this anymore. i seriously can't." you stated, looking directly into his beautiful blue eyes, the same eyes that made you want to melt away into him, yet this time you just wanted to look away.

"huh? the fuck do you mean, ma?" he asked, his expression softening but his tone still frustrated. you chuckled out of disbelief, "i mean i cannot physically do this with you anymore. we are slowly fucking killing each other and i am not ready to die." you said, hoping he would understand your poetic language. you felt all of the air leave your lungs and you felt dread cast a shadow over your body as tears began to form in your eyes.

chris' heart dropped as did his face. he shook his head, praying that this was a dream and that you didn't actually mean it. he loved you so incredibly much and wasn't ready to loose you, no matter how right you were about the situation you had put yourselves in. all he could think about was the night you became his girl, the night he kissed you under the moon and the stars, the night the two of you promised to never hurt the other. he now knew that he broke his promise and that you broke yours.

"baby..." he said, his voice breaking slightly. he hardly ever called you 'baby', it was usually 'ma' or 'babe' so this had taken you aback a bit, but you shook your head to rid the thoughts of staying from your mind. you needed to leave and you knew that now, no matter how much it was going to hurt you, hurt him, hurt his brothers. oh god it was going to crush his brothers. you were all so close, they were your found family and you had no choice but to let that go. it was the four of you against the world since the day you met them. you had their backs regardless of the circumstances and they had yours.

"please don't do this." chris spoke as loudly as he physically could but his voice didn't get past a whisper due to how badly his throat ached. your throat ached too. you were fighting for your life against the tears, the sobs, the wails that wanted to escape so badly. you walked over to him and sat down, your knee resting against his thigh gently.

you looked at him so painfully yet so carefully and gently as you thought about what you were about to do, "you know i love you... and i think i always will," you said gently, "and i love your brothers so much... you guys are my family.." you took in a shaky breath as tears began to fall.

you placed a hand against chris' cheek carefully the moment you saw the first tear fall from his own eyes, "but we aren't good for each other... and i don't want to hurt you anymore. i can't take you hurting me anymore." you whispered, the words felt like poison leaving your lips.

chris leaned into your touch as you rubbed your thumb against his cheek, a stream of unbreaking tears falling from his beautiful eyes. his heart was breaking inside of his chest as was yours. it felt like someone was stabbing you in the chest in the exact same spot over and over again, "i love you, my moon... we love you, me, matt, and nick.." his voice broke as a sob fell from his lips.

you kissed the top of his head before standing up again, still looking at him even though he was looking at his lap, "you're perfectly wrong for me and i'm perfectly wrong for you.. i truly wanted to fight for us for the rest of my life, but i can't... not now at least. not until we've healed." you started, "i promise i love you and i always will, but i have to go. i have to find myself and i have to give you space to find yourself." you continued, "you have to allow yourself to be found... allow yourself to heal, love." your tone was gentle and kind, it was hard to keep it that way when all you wanted to do was break down in chris' arms.

chris continued to just look at his lap, his grey sweatpants now stained with tears, nodding ever-so-slightly at your words.

"don't forget about me.. maybe down the line we can try again, when we're both ready. i wish we were ready now but we just aren't." you stopped the sentence abruptly, realizing the part you had been dreading the most, the part you had nightmares about, was here.

your feet shuffled and you grabbed your keys off of the coffee table, finally looking away from chris. you just couldn't look at him during this part. you felt his eyes burning into you, he finally looked at you the moment you looked away.

"i love you, chris. i'll see you again someday, stay strong for me tough guy..." you turned and began to walk towards the front door, "i love you, y/n... stay strong for me too, beautiful." he whispered quietly but just loud enough for you to hear. you smiled to yourself as more tears fell from your orbs. it was a sad smile, a grieving smile. you lost something today, something that had the potential to be beautiful, something that has the potential to be beautiful, but it's not ready to be beautiful yet.

you walked out of the front door and that was it. you locked it behind you. for a moment you held the house key in your hand, rubbing your thumb against the valleys of the key, reminiscing on the day you got it. after a couple minutes you placed the house key that the boys had made for you under the door matt.

you shot the group chat that the four of you had made years ago a quick text, letting them know that the key was under the matt before leaving the group chat and getting into your car.

you put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway for the last time, well, for the last time as this version of yourself. who knows what the future will throw your way. you had your car idly sitting in the middle of the empty road for a moment as you looked at the house that you had made so many memories in. you allowed yourself to take it all in one last time because you didn't know if you'd get the chance to again.

you were sobbing harder now that you were alone. you had a habit of keeping everything in until you were alone because of how vulnerable it made you feel and you really didn't like being vulnerable around people. it was odd though, you always felt okay with being vulnerable around the boys... that is up until this point.

after about five minutes, you put the car in drive and drove off. your phone was buzzing with notifications from matt and nick but you ignored them, putting your phone on 'do not disturb'. you didn't know where you were going or what your plan was, but you knew you'd figure it out. you always did.

all the stars in the sky could see

why you're perfectly wrong for me.

wow okay two in one day!! wahoo! hopefully this makes up for my absence! i'm going on a ten day cruise soon and there won't be any wifi so you will be starved of content for a little while im sorry!!

this one is a sadder one please dont hate me, im a sucker for angst and this idea was just tugging at my brain cells, i cant help it... I LOVE U GUYS SM!! ;(

- ace <3

taglist: @whoisabbyysblog @mattyblover07 @b2cute @samandcolbyfan22 @h3arts4harry @nickgetsmewetter

[fanficlolsblog]

WE DON’T TALK ANYMORE

back to my main masterlist

pairing: fem singer!reader x taylor swift

summary: falling in love with taylor swift felt like a whirlwind, but when the pressure of fame and her struggle with coming out grew too much, you broke up. as she tried to move on with travis kelce, you both admitted to missing each other, but her jealousy over your friendship with shawn mendes created tension. despite the distance, you both realized that your love story wasn’t over and that there was still hope for a future together.

warnings: contains themes of unrequited love, heartbreak, and emotional distress, struggles of coming out, complexities of a relationship affected by fame, jealousy and emotion turmoil.

a/n: i posted this on wattpad to, i would appreciate it if you would go check it out :) loversxoxoxo.

w/c: 2.1k+

you never thought that falling in love with taylor swift would feel like stepping into a whirlwind. the world had always seen taylor as a perfect fairytale princess—her songs echoing tales of love, heartbreak, and personal struggles. but for you, she was so much more than that. taylor was the girl who stole your heart with a smile that could light up a room and laughter that made everything feel okay. you shared stolen moments, whispered secrets, and a love that felt both exhilarating and terrifying.

the first time you and taylor kissed, it was in the dim light of her apartment, surrounded by the remnants of late-night songwriting. taylor had been nervous, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. “are you sure about this?” she had asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“i’ve never been more sure,” you replied, pulling her closer, your lips brushing together softly. that kiss marked the beginning of something beautiful, yet complicated.

as the months passed, you and taylor navigated your relationship in the shadows, always careful to keep your love hidden from the public eye. you found solace in private moments—lazy afternoons spent cuddled up watching movies, spontaneous road trips, and the quiet comfort of each other’s presence. taylor would often write songs inspired by your time together, her lyrics weaving the essence of your love into melodies that resonated deep within your heart.

but as your love blossomed, so did the pressures of fame. taylor felt the weight of expectations, the scrutiny of the media, and the fear of coming out. you understood her struggles, but as time went on, the walls between you grew thicker. it became clear that taylor wasn’t ready to embrace her bisexuality publicly. the more you tried to be patient, the more the silence between you grew.

“i just need time,” taylor would say, her eyes filled with uncertainty.

“how much time?” you would ask, frustration creeping into your voice. “i can’t keep hiding, taylor. i love you, and i want the world to know.”

the conversations turned into arguments, and the love that once felt so strong started to fray at the edges. it hurt you to see taylor struggle, but it also hurt to feel like your love was being treated as a secret, as if it were something to be ashamed of.

finally, you reached a breaking point. one night, as you sat on the balcony of taylor’s apartment, staring at the stars, you made the hardest decision. “i can’t do this anymore,” you said, tears in your eyes. “i can’t keep waiting for you to be ready. it’s tearing me apart.”

taylor looked at you, her expression a mix of shock and sadness. “please don’t say that. i love you, but—”

“but you’re not ready,” you interrupted, shaking your head. “i can’t keep pretending. it’s not fair to either of us.”

that night, you parted with heavy hearts, a silence stretching between you that felt insurmountable. you walked away, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders, while taylor watched, knowing she had let go of something precious.

the weeks that followed were a blur for both of you. taylor tried to distract herself with her music, pouring her heart into her songs, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t escape the void you left behind. she heard whispers about a new romance with travis kelce, a handsome athlete who seemed to have everything figured out. it felt like a desperate attempt to move on, but taylor knew the truth—her heart still belonged to you.

on the other hand, you struggled to breathe without taylor’s laughter and warmth. seeing her with travis in the headlines was like a dagger to the heart. every time you scrolled through social media, you were met with photos of the two of them together, laughing, enjoying life, while you felt like a ghost in the background.

“i just heard you found the one you’ve been looking for,” you sang softly to yourself one evening, the ache of longing flooding your chest. “i wish I would have known that wasn’t me.”

you would lie awake at night, haunted by memories of taylor’s smile, the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy, and the warmth of her embrace. it was unbearable, knowing that she was moving on without you while you were still stuck in the past, replaying every moment you shared.

“why can’t I move on?” you wondered, staring at the ceiling, tears streaming down your cheeks. “why can’t I let her go?”

the loneliness was suffocating, and with each passing day, the world felt a little darker without taylor’s light. you wished for the courage to reach out, to tell her how you truly felt, but fear held you back. what if taylor was happy with travis? what if she had moved on completely?

the pain of seeing taylor with someone else was a constant reminder of what you had lost. every time you caught a glimpse of her in the tabloids, smiling next to travis, it felt like a cruel twist of fate. you couldn’t help but wonder if she ever thought about you, if she missed your late-night talks and your shared dreams.

one night, as you sat alone in your room, you picked up your phone and hesitated. what if you sent a message? would it hurt more to reach out, or would it provide the closure you desperately needed? finally, with shaking fingers, you typed out a simple message: i miss you.

after pressing send, anxiety washed over you. what if taylor didn’t feel the same? what if she was truly happy with travis? you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was too late, that your moment had passed.

but to your surprise, taylor responded almost immediately. i miss you too.

the floodgates opened, and soon you were exchanging messages late into the night, your words filled with longing and regret. it felt like old times, like you were reconnecting the pieces of a love that had been shattered.

despite the distance and the silence that had stretched between you, you realized that your love for taylor had never truly faded. it was still there, waiting, just beneath the surface. as you talked, hope began to blossom anew. maybe it wasn’t too late for you both. maybe love could find a way back.

in that moment, you understood that your story wasn’t over. the road ahead might be rocky, but you were willing to fight for the love that had once burned so brightly between you. you couldn’t forget about taylor, and perhaps, just maybe, she felt the same way.

the late-night messages between you and taylor flowed for weeks, reigniting feelings you thought were long buried. but the more you talked, the more you felt the weight of her new relationship with travis pressing down on you. you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was unfair to her, that being in constant contact with her would only complicate things more. you didn’t want to be the reason she felt guilty about her new life.

one night, as you sat on your bed strumming your guitar, you started writing a song. the lyrics spilled out of you like a torrent of emotions, reflecting your heartbreak, your longing, and the bitter truth that you and taylor had become strangers. we don’t talk anymore, you wrote, each line dripping with the pain of loss. it felt cathartic to put your feelings into words, but the more you wrote, the more you realized that this song was your goodbye.

you reached out to shawn mendes, a friend and fellow musician, hoping he could help you shape the song into something meaningful. when you asked, he didn’t hesitate. “of course, i’d love to help,” he replied with a supportive grin. “i know how much this means to you.”

together, you poured over the lyrics, crafting melodies and harmonies that captured the essence of your lost love. shawn’s presence brought comfort, and as you worked, you felt a sense of healing in creating something beautiful out of your pain. but deep down, a nagging guilt lingered in your mind. you were hanging out with another musician, and the thought made your heart heavy. you didn’t want to be the person who came between them, even if your connection with taylor was special.

as you finished the song, you decided it was time to take a step back from your conversations with taylor. you couldn’t bear the thought of being a temptation for her, so you quietly withdrew, letting the silence settle between you once more. it felt like a dagger to your heart, but you knew it was for the best.

when the song was ready, you released it, pouring all your emotions into the music video, which reflected your journey of love and loss. the haunting melody and poignant lyrics resonated with fans, and soon, it began to gain traction online.

but the moment you shared the song, taylor saw it. she scrolled through social media one afternoon, and her heart sank as she came across pictures of you and shawn hanging out. your smiles, your laughter, the undeniable chemistry—it all struck a nerve. jealousy burned inside her, igniting feelings she thought she had buried beneath her new relationship.

we don’t talk anymore played in the background as she watched video clips of you two, the lyrics echoing her pain. taylor felt a mix of emotions: anger, longing, and a deep sense of loss. how could you move on so easily when she was still reeling from the end of your relationship? she scrolled through your posts, her mind racing with thoughts of what could have been.

every time taylor saw you and shawn together, the jealousy swelled within her. she couldn’t shake the image of you laughing and sharing moments with someone else, and it hurt her more than she could admit. travis noticed her distraction, the way her smile faltered when he mentioned you in passing. “are you alright?” he asked one evening, concern etched on his face.

“of course,” taylor replied, forcing a fake smile. inside, her heart was breaking, and she struggled to hide her true feelings. deep down, she knew she wasn’t just jealous of your success; she missed you, the connection you shared, the intimacy that seemed irreplaceable.

as days turned into weeks, the silence between you and taylor grew heavier. she found herself staring at her phone, hoping for a message that never came. you had put up walls to protect her from guilt, but the absence of your voice left her feeling hollow. you had become a ghost in her life, and the ache of your absence gnawed at her.

taylor played the song over and over, the lyrics haunting her thoughts. it became her anthem of longing, a painful reminder of what she had lost and what could never be again. each time she sang along, she felt the tears sting her eyes, realizing how much she missed the sound of your laughter, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke about your dreams.

one night, after a particularly long day, taylor sat down with her guitar. she began to strum the chords that had become familiar to her, attempting to write her own song. but as she tried to find the words, all she could think about was you. the memories flooded back—your smile, your embrace, the way you understood her like no one else ever could.

“why can’t we just talk anymore?” she whispered into the silence, feeling the weight of her unspoken feelings.

as time passed, it became clear that neither of you could truly move on. you focused on your music, finding solace in your art, while taylor fought against the whirlwind of emotions that surrounded her. she missed you, and it hurt to know that you were trying to find happiness with someone else.

in that moment of realization, taylor understood that she had to make a choice. she couldn’t keep pretending that everything was okay. if she wanted to find peace, she needed to confront her feelings and, maybe, just maybe, reach out to you again.

but as she made that decision, she also knew it wouldn’t be easy. the lines had been drawn, and the world was watching. could she find the courage to step away from travis and follow her heart back to you? the journey ahead would be uncertain, but deep down, she felt a spark of hope that your love could be reignited. and for now, that was enough.

[jenflirts]

mending my broken heart

pairing: tara carpenter x fem!reader

theme: angst :)

summary: maybe you're the one...

warning: profanities, grammar, no ghostface and cheating

a/n: based on my feelings :) | enjoy.

Falling for someone isn’t for weak people,

Nor being attached,

Nor loving someone.

These are the feelings that will make you mentally and physically weak, just because you would do everything just to have them, just to give them all your attention, love, and hell, even your soul, but why isn’t it for the weak? Well, only emotionally controlled people can survive these challenges. These are the obstacles that we face when we’re in love and this makes us vulnerable.

We’ve always thought that if a partner loves or falls for you it means they’ve accepted your flaws, insecurities, clinginess, stupidity, good days and bad ones, but sometimes don’t you think that they accepted that because they needed too? Out of pity? Or sometimes just to play you cause they’re just bored. I’ve always thought about falling in love and being vulnerable to a person, but then my overthinking mind stops me from doing so.

Yeah, taking from my perspective—a person that’s been played and got attached too many times just because they showed affection—I’ve been hurt so much that I don’t even count how many times that they scarred my heart and still gave them another chance. I did everything I could just not to fall for someone, but I just can’t stop myself ‘cause it feels like an addiction I cannot control. I keep thinking about the past relationships I had and even thought about the times that I let my heart heal and mend it by myself and yet, I keep longing for the wrong people and their fucked up affections.

And then there’s Tara, the girl that makes me feel special, the person that let me believe that love is worth waiting for, and love really does exist. Tara is the type of person that would really make you fall in love with her and not in the bad way, but because she’s the type of girl that you’ll feel comfortable to be around with, rides with your antics, will help you in any possible way, and makes you love your true self.

Tara and I have been dating for almost 2 years and the truth is I’ve fallen deeply in love with her, she already accepted my vulnerability and I accepted hers so there’s really no turning back. I’ve thought about these feelings thoroughly ‘cause I don’t want to hurt her nor she wants to hurt me, I’ve always wanted to feel vulnerable around someone I trust and love the most ‘cause I don’t want to let people see my true facade. Tara saw something in me that people don’t and she’s been helping me to cope up with that.

Everything has been great ever since I dated Tara.

December 09

It's our finals and both of us are stressed out since both of us picked a hard course and I actually want to do something special for her since it’s our anniversary so I’ve prepared dinner, movies and gifts just to surprise her. I went home earlier than she did so I could prepare the things I wanted to give and the words that I wanted to say; Thankfully, Sam and Mindy helped me to do everything.

“Minds? Do you think Tara would like it if I gave her a promise ring on our anniversary?” I asked the girl as we strolled through the jewelry shop. She stopped her tracks and looked at me surprised “A promise ring? Really? Doesn’t that curse relationships?” She asked as she glimpsed the rings.

A promise ring breaks relationships? Now what kind of fuck-mind would believe that. “And where did you get that information? Is it one of those crazies at the uni?” I joked.

“I’m just telling you that rings don't mean forever,” she said. That’s actually true, but I’m not gonna listen to her and Tara deserves a promise that I will love her forever so I picked out the ring and necklace for our anniversary tomorrow.

I helped Tara go inside our apartment and took the blindfold off. She engulfed me into a hug and kisses all over my face. "Tara, we need to eat" I said as I put her down on the floor.

Everything went smoothly and both ended with a promise to love and hold forever.

December 14

The day that feels eerie and gut wrenching, it feels so slow and bothering. "Minds, Tara hasn't texted me for the last few weeks and it's concerning me" I said as I tossed her my phone to check Tara and I's conversation.

"She also hasn't been going home" I added and groaned loudly.

"Yeah, I noticed that. You didn't confront her about this? But I always see her at the uni tho" She said.

Is Tara avoiding me? Did I do something wrong last week? Did she do something wrong? Did something happen that I didn't know? A lot of things suddenly hits me, I thought about everything that I've done last week ago, but nothing really came into my mind.

It's already past midnight and I'm still going on about Tara. I heard the door open and keys tossed on the counter. I went outside and checked if Tara's here or just Mindy wanted to crash by.

"Tara? Baby? Where were you?" I asked as I sat beside her on the living room coach.

"Sam's and did some thinking, so can we talk?" she said.

Why does it feel so suffocating? The way she looks at me feels so different; it feels empty and drained. I nodded and sat in front of her.

"For the last few weeks I've been isolating myself to you and it felt different after what I did. It's been perfect for the last 2 years and I loved every single moment that we've done, but I think we must part our ways and fix ourselves" She cried.

What? Just like that? After 2 fucking years? She's just going to throw it all away? I was too stunned to speak, my brain was spewing out words, but my mouth can't function properly. I felt my eyes stung and tears rolled down on my cheeks.

"So? That's it? Gonna throw away our 2 year relationship out the fucking window like its nothing? Damn Tara, I don't know what to say nor to react" I said as I wiped the tears that keep continuing running down on my cheeks.

She doesn't say anything, but her eyes tells me differently like she's guilty for not telling me the reason why.

"Tara, what's the sudden break-up? what's the reason? 'cause I know for a goddamn fact that it's not about self improvement shits. Tell me so that we could fix it" I assured her

She shook her head no and keeps sobbing uncontrollably. I went to her and wiped her tears; I held her hands, "Love? what happened? tell me so we could fix it" I said as I gently squeeze her hand.

She slowly stopped crying and let me wiped her mascara tear-stains. "It was at Wes's parties and you were studying for your final lesson at that time. Amber snuck me out and helped me unwind by bring me to Wes's parties then I got drunk and I couldn't control myself and so did Chad" she explained.

I couldn't believe it.

The love of my life, cheated.

The girl that I trusted the most, cheated.

I felt my whole world fell apart. It feels like my heart just shuttered into pieces, it feels like there's a new cut to it. I feel betrayed, angry and disappointed all at the same time.

I stood up and went back to my seat and comprehend what just Tara said. I can't do this right now, my mind is all over the place.

"babe? hey? I thought we were gonna fix these" she said

does she really think there's something to be fix? I gave her my everything and this is how she repays me. cheating on me with my other best friend? damn, that's another form of betrayal.

"tara, get out. I can't right now. I just want to be alone for a moment"

She doesn't understand what pain I'm going through right now.

After Tara closed the apartment door, I tried smashing everything so that I could somewhat calm down.

I sat on the living room floor and thought about the things that I have done on why Tara have to do this. Wasn't I enough? Am I that easy to replace? Is our relationship just out of pity? There's so much unanswered questions that I have on my mind, but right now I just want to be alone and mend my broken heart.

I thought she was the one that’s going to help me mend up the open cuts that people leave on my heart, but I would never predict that she was going to leave a big one.

(part 2 of my lovely, jenna is on-going)

[astraveritas]

★ people with taurus rising or prominent taurus in their chart tend to have eyes that are more far apart, their cheeks are usually fuller, and smiles are wide with nicely shaped lips

serena williams (taurus rising); brendan fraser (taurus moon/rising); gigi hadid (taurus sun/mercury/rising)

janet jackson (taurus sun/mercury/mars); sam smith (taurus sun/mercury/venus); dionne warwick (taurus moon/ rising/jupiter/saturn/uranus)

★ scorpio rising men eyebrows are just low straight thick line above their deep set eyes, they out there looking like -_-. they also have long eyelashes, and their eyes tend drop on the outer corners. this whole thing kinda creates the illusion of their eyes always being hidden in shadows.

hrithik roshan (scorpio rising/pluto in 11h); chris evans (scorpio rising/pluto in 11h); kid cudi (scorpio rising/pluto in 12h); jim carrey (scorpio rising/pluto in 10h)

★ cancer sun/virgo mars women have the prettiest eyes, just baby deer in the headlights.

ariana grande (cancer sun/virgo mars); saweetie (cancer sun/virgo mars); phoebe cates (cancer sun/virgo mars); lady london (cancer sun/virgo mars). — also both ariana and saweetie have taurus venus, and phoebe has taurus moon)

★ leo sun men with cancer placements in their chart tend to have cleft chins

ben barnes (leo sun/cancer mars); ben affleck (leo sun/cancer ascendant/venus); matt leblanc (leo sun/cancer ascendant); 

cameron monaghan (leo sun/cancer venus); sebastian stan (leo sun/cancer venus); shawn mendes (leo sun/cancer venus/mars)

★ queens of the bohemian/hippie style are without a doubt mutable suns/heavy mutable energy in personal placements, especially the gemini-sagittarius duo, I mean look at the material

stevie nicks (gemini sun and mercury/virgo mars); sasha obama (gemini sun and mercury/saggitarius mars); florence welch (virgo sun/gemini moon); 

zoe kravitz (saggitarius sun and mercury/virgo moon); mary-kate olsen (gemini sun/virgo moon); erykah badu (pisces sun and moon/saggitarius mars/ascendant)

★ it’s weird but I can always spot scorpio rising women cause of their shoulders, they’re usually bit broader, straight, with nice collarbones, their upper body seems to be triangle shaped cause of their shoulders and wider ribcage

diana ross (scorpio rising/pluto in 9h); lana del rey (scorpio rising/pluto in 12h); lily rose depp (scorpio rising/pluto in 1h)

★ margot robbie and sharon tate both have cancer rising and moon in 3h with jupiter conjunct ascendant

they both have more square shaped head with really short chin, that I’ve noticed in a lot of cancer rising with chart ruler in 3h

carla bruni (cancer rising/moon in 3h); sara gilbert (cancer rising/moon in 3h); fergie (cancer rising/moon in 3h)

[lonelywhalien22]

ten seconds to midnight

pairing: jungkook x gn reader

rating/genre: second chance, fluff + sprinkle of angst or angst + sprinkle of fluff idk lol

summary: it's new year’s eve and you see your ex jungkook again for the first time since you broke up with him.

warnings: time and location are abstract af in this fic so don’t try to piece together distances or a timeline from anything in this; I wrote it in a more poetic fashion – it’s just a *vibe* if you will lol

word count: 4.6k

song(s) to listen to while reading: tis the damn season by taylor swift, ruin by shawn mendes, new year’s day by taylor swift

note: cleaned this up to share while I edit my next longfic – this is something sweet with a sprinkle of midnight angst. if you happen to enjoy this fic you’ll probably like what I have coming next so stay tuned. happy new year’s everyone and i’ll see you all next year <3

Two years.

It had been two years since you and Jungkook had seen each other for the first time in that art history class – had studied together, hung out together, and eventually dated.

Six months.

It had been six months since you'd left suddenly. Unexpectedly.

Six months since those words were flung like daggers between the two of you, as if you’d been in a competition to see who could hurt the other more – who could prove they were less attached than the other was. Pretending as if all of those late nights, whispered confessions, soothing touches, and sweet kisses had meant nothing.

As if in some sort of war, the two of you had thrown, burned, abandoned, and trashed every last remnant of your relationship, overcompensating to try and prove that none of the feelings were real, that the vulnerability was all a lie, and that you'd actually been keeping your shields up all along.

It's the reason you moved further away than you'd originally planned after you graduated - why you’d signed on to the extra work at your job, the extra responsibilities…you’d even gotten a new phone number, claiming you wanted a completely fresh start.

It's the reason why your brief visit home during the holidays this year just wasn’t the same. Why Jungkook didn’t stop by with the rest of his family to drop off gifts or send cards. Why you no longer saw him at the store he always used to frequent at a specific time, the two of you in charge of picking up whatever your respective families had forgotten for Christmas dinner.

It seemed like you and Jungkook had finally succeeded in creating an irreparable chasm between the two of you.

So instead, you spent your short visit home for the holidays nervously traversing the town that still held memories of him. You pushed your cart through the local grocery store in a near state of paranoia, drove around town with the windows up, let others in the house open the door when you got the usual holiday greetings from family and friends.

You didn't miss him, you told yourself.

Even as you chose to go to his mom's favorite grocery store, or mindlessly drove by some of your old spots from when you two had been together - eagerly looked out the window of your old childhood bedroom whenever you heard the doorbell ring.

You didn't miss him.

Now it was New Year’s Eve, and you currently found yourself outside on a fire escape in the chilly night air, high above a city you were still getting to know, at a party you didn't want to be at, terrified to go back inside.

How exactly had that happened?

Let’s take a few steps back.

The New Year’s Eve party was one put together by some old friends from college you’d reconnected with in the area.

None of them felt particularly close, but after spending last New Year’s Eve alone in your tiny studio apartment guzzling down an entire bottle of champagne and falling asleep before the ball had even dropped, you figured you’d try getting out and doing something in the city you were trying to call home for once.

As you walked into the crowded party space, you immediately scouted out the food and beverages area - your trusty diversion ever since you’d been to your first party as an underclassman in college, terribly shy and fearful of large crowds. You could still remember the moment you’d spotted Jungkook from afar for the very first time in a cramped living room all those years ago - laughing with his friends in a corner, his eyes on you for the tiniest of milliseconds before he went back to sipping whatever was in his red solo cup. It was his hands you’d noticed first, the handful of tiny tattoos scattered across his knuckles. You’d been so surprised when he’d said hello to you in a class one semester later, even more so when he’d smiled easily as he admitted to remembering you, the mural of tattoos on his right hand having spread, two new ones on his index finger and another near his wrist.

Back in the present, you grabbed a few cookies and some water, slowly sipping on your beverage of choice as you resolved yourself to silently watching the party from a distance. You were here – that was progress enough wasn’t it?

"Y/n?" you heard someone shout your name eagerly.

You were surprised since you didn't think you knew anyone at this party all that well, but the friendliness of the voice made you perk up.

Turning your head in the direction of the voice, you recognized the owner as an old friend from back home.

"Changkyun?" you exclaimed, shocked.

You hadn’t seen him in forever. He was so tall and almost athletic in his build now, that you almost didn’t recognize him.

"Hey! Wow, long time no see!" he smiled and immediately pulled you in for a hug. It nearly squeezed the surprise right out of you.

You two began a conversation and caught up, laughing over old memories and how much you’d each changed since last seeing the other before he interjected quickly.

"Now that I think about it, pretty sure I saw someone else you know around here..." he pondered out loud, scanning the crowd before he spotted who he was looking for.

"Oh yeah, Jungkook is here. Hey JK!"  you heard Changkyun quickly shout across the crowd towards the center of the room.

Before you could even fully register the name of your ex you glanced over to where your friend was calling, instantly spotting the back of a familiar head of hair, though it was longer than you remembered, the ends curling slightly from the length.

“J-Jungkook..." you repeated quietly, eyes widening as your brain registered what was happening.

"You good?" Changkyun asked, noticing the change in your expression. "Oh shit, wait - you two were together at some point weren’t you? Did I -"

The rest of his words evaporated into nothing but muffled noise as you watched the head of your ex swivel around, searching for the source of the voice that had called his name. He was still as mesmerizing as ever - those big brown eyes and soft lips. His hair fell into his eyes as he turned, and it made your view of him both painfully nostalgic and exhilarating all at once.

He was gorgeous. Just like you remembered.

You stood frozen, eyes wide in admiration, until Jungkook’s gaze singled in on you and broke you out of your trance. Quickly his eyebrows furrowed in confusion before they lifted up softly upon recognizing you. You watched as he mouthed your name, as if he was asking himself whether or not it was really you. But it was all muddled within seconds as you realized your vision was beginning to blur. Your throat dried up and your head began to pound, and finally you realized you were about to cry.

For some inexplicable reason, you were upset.

"Damnit," you muttered to yourself, looking down, a tear slipping down your cheek against your will.

"Y/n, are you ok?" you heard Changkyun ask beside you, but you only shook your head quickly.

"I…I gotta go," you barely managed to choke out before turning away and pushing through the crowd as fast as you could. You quickly reached the front door and tumbled out, searching for the elevator before instead opting to take the stairs rather than risk standing around for any longer.

After wandering around aimlessly for a couple floors you came upon a shaky fire escape entrance and yanked open the doors, cool air slapping your face like a tide in a storm. It brought goosebumps to your skin - the chill of the night breeze, the cool steel grates that scraped against your thighs as you sat down, the hard brick of the wall against your back, but still - you found yourself grateful for the getaway.

You shimmied to the side so you couldn’t be seen from the glass door entrance and tried to make yourself comfortable in the space that remained, your legs slipping into a makeshift crisscross position. It was ridiculously cramped, and probably not at all safe, but at least it was quiet. The isolation gave you a chance to work through some of your thoughts without interruptions from annoyingly drunk partygoers.

"Why did I come here," you whispered to yourself, frustrated.

You knew how much you hated parties, and yet you'd gone anyways, only to find yourself in the very situation you’d been fearing since the holidays had come upon you – trapped with him just steps away and nowhere to run or hide.

You were terrified to face all the damage you’d left behind in your breakup with Jungkook - the stuffed closet full of baggage and hastily thrown together lies that you knew would all come tumbling down if you ever saw him again.

If you were being honest, you'd been running from this very scenario ever since you’d broken up with him. Because somehow, after all this time, he still wouldn't leave your head - his smile, the sound of his laugh, the way he could be incredibly cute but could also make you completely flustered at the flip of a switch.

The way he’d felt like a best friend, a confidante, and a lover all at the same time. How he’d made you feel so loved in a way only he could.

You had searched for that same feeling in others, from the occasional coworker to the random blind date, but no matter how hard you tried you couldn't get yourself to fall out of love with him. And deep down, you think you always knew it. You'd be lying if you said there wasn't some part of you that saw a piece of him in everything you did and everywhere you went. You just couldn't lie to yourself anymore – not after seeing how you'd reacted from just seconds of seeing him in person again.

You took a few deep breaths, staring out at the lights and bustle of the city as your finger trailed longingly up and down one of the steel bars that separated you from the open air. Funny how the rest of the world just continued to go on, even when it felt like your little corner of it was being shaken to no end like a snow globe in a child’s hands.

But watching all the cars and pedestrians below carrying on with their lives – it also helped you put your worries into perspective - helped you keep calm.

Suddenly, your thoughts were interrupted by the cracking open of the fire escape door.

Please don't be a couple, please don’t be a couple, you thought to yourself. The last thing you needed were some handsy lovebirds interrupting your ruminations and reminding you of your own failures in the relationship department.

"Y/n?" you heard someone whisper softly. "Y/n, you out there?"

You’d recognize that voice anywhere - warm and soothing when it was singing along to a song on the radio, smooth and sweet like caramel when it was directed towards you, and immediately your body tensed.

The voice continued to call your name again and again, and you could hear his footsteps shuffling around closer and closer to you in the dark. Folding into yourself and squeezing your eyes shut, you prayed he didn’t notice you, or maybe he’d think you were some stranger - turn around and leave you out here all alone like you thought you wanted.

The footsteps continued until you heard the door open one last time, someone mumbling something too far away for you to hear before banging it shut again. You figured he didn't see you, deciding to look elsewhere, and your shoulders relaxed again.

"Didn't think I’d see you here," you suddenly heard loud and clear.

"Fuck," you shouted, too spooked to really think about it before your reflexes kicked in and you jumped, quickly turning towards the voice. "I thought I was alone out h-"

As soon as you looked up you saw that it was your ex. He stood feet away, one hand still lingering on the fire escape entrance.

"Jungkook."

You mumbled his name, aggravated as he raised a brow at your rare curse.

Quickly, you angled yourself back towards the view of the skyline, shaking your head profusely as you attempted to make him go away.

"I don't wanna see you."

"Believe me, this wasn't really how I pictured spending my night either," he retorted, and you couldn’t even lie - the words felt like a cold knife straight to your heart.

He took just one tiny step forward, hand falling from the rusted metal handle of the door.

"I couldn't just let you go off crying though."

"I wasn't crying," you spat out. It was your roughest voice yet, but Jungkook didn’t even flinch.

"You're still shit at lying," he said with a smirk instead. "We may not be together anymore, but I can still recognize the face you make when you're about to cry."

You wished he’d elaborate so you could practice never making that face again, but he just stood still, glancing back through the window. It both annoyed the heck out of you and made your heart flutter, knowing he could still read you like that.

He took another few steps towards you. Like a giant, his stature towered over you as he continued to stand, his feet careful not to step on your fingers.

"Anyways, you left this," he suddenly said, a chunk of metal entering your view. It was your phone.

How that happened, you had no idea. You must have placed it on a nearby table as you ate, distracted by you conversation with Changkyun. You grabbed it swiftly, careful not to touch his hand in any way, but you still couldn’t help but notice the decorative ink that now danced all over his fingers, the way his skin reddened in the cold.

Did he notice you still used the phone case he’d bought you for your birthday?

"Thanks," you told him curtly instead, avoiding his gaze.

You kept quiet, expecting him to finally go away now that he’d returned your phone but instead the silence lingered, Jungkook’s feet shuffling awkwardly.

“Come back inside Y/n,” he said, tone gentle, the edges of his jawline softening.

“Why?”

Jungkook looked down, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Changkyun’s worried about you,” he mumbled eventually. “…and besides, it’s dangerous - sitting out here all alone like that.”

“I’ll be fine. No need to worry about me.”

You could feel his frustration brewing as he looked at you in silent incredulity, a cloudy huff leaving his lips in the night air before you felt him sit right down beside you. His denim-clad knee scraped yours just faintly as he settled into a comfortable position. Together the two of you took up nearly all the space on the tiny ledge.

"You want a drink?" Jungkook offered coolly, a cup of red liquid seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

It was tempting, but you hesitated. After all, you weren’t looking to get inebriated while on a shaky fire escape with your ex nearby to bear witness to some sort of embarrassing, drunken confession of longing. You generally preferred to stay sober anyways.

"It's just cranberry juice,” he told you, as if he could read your mind. “They have a bunch of it to mix with the cocktails."

Fuck.

Not only did he remember how much you hated alcohol, but also that cranberry juice was your favorite?

"You're the only person I've ever met who drinks that stuff," he used to always joke.

Back in the present, you took the cup from his hands, finally looking at him to search his face briefly, but his expression gave nothing away. You took a sip to busy yourself.

A blanket of silence fell between you. It wasn’t awkward or even necessarily tense, but it didn't feel like it was truly quiet either. Instead, it was more like there were a bunch of unsaid words bouncing around between the two of you, trying but failing to break out.

"What're you thinking about?" Jungkook asked innocently, looking down at one of his hands before focusing back on the view of the city skyline.

"Nothing," you shook your head tersely, only to hear the tiniest of hums escape his lips out of disbelief.

"So you're outside all alone, staring at the sky in the freezing cold and nothing's wrong? You sure about that?"

You closed your eyes, more and more memories rushing back to you – like the times Jungkook used to find you alone out on the campus green, just sitting with the palm of your hand pressed against your cheek, pouting as you stared at some point in the clouds. Or how he used to poke you on the nose whenever you laid your head in his lap and stared into space, that same pensive look on your face. His words were always the same every single time.

"What're you thinking about?"

It was beginning to drive you crazy the more you thought about it – how, even after all this time apart, he was still able to pick up on little things like that.

And it made you feel even crazier when you thought about the fact that you still remembered those little things about him too.

Trying to keep yourself from becoming any more affected by his words, you tried a slightly more aggressive approach.

"Well maybe I would be fine if I was actually alone."

But he only turned to face you at that remark, another deep sigh escaping his lips.

"Y/n/n.." he used your nickname this time, and he sounded regretful, like your words had actually stung. "Look, I just wanna make sure you're ok."

"I'm am ok," you said back harshly.

Another bout of silence fell between you at that – this one like a cascade of bricks instead of a gentle blanket.

"Why are you acting like I'm the one who did you wrong?" Jungkook piped up, exasperation inching into his voice.

"Last time I checked, I told you I wanted to be left alone."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about,” he said, undeterred by your attempt to change the subject.

You didn’t respond immediately, not ready to talk about your breakup out in the open.

You weren’t sure you'd ever be ready.

"I told you I wanted to experience other places…" you started after a minute or so, quieter than expected. "You know I never wanted to stay so close to home."

"And I get that, but one week?" Jungkook asked incredulously. "How could you only tell me a week before you left? I thought I meant more to you than that."

You huffed out loud in frustration, unsure how to respond.

It was true - you did tell Jungkook about your big move only seven days before you left. You did it out of fear.

Because you were scared.

You and Jungkook had gotten so close after only two years, and you’d never felt that way about a person before - you’d never felt in love.

It scared you - especially when you thought that maybe you were just getting too attached, too quickly.

If there was one thing you hated, it was dependency. Needing someone else felt like an indefensible weakness, and you were afraid that being with him, needing him, would only hold you back.

All you’d wanted was some space to cool off and clear your head - evaluate how you felt from a distance in solitude, like you always did when you felt overwhelmed by your emotions. When you finally did tell Jungkook about the move, you were hoping you two would just dial things down a little - keep in touch remotely while you took some time to think about your life post-graduation.

But instead, the whole thing had turned into one big shouting match.

Hurtful words had been thrown like weapons on both sides, and by the time the dust had settled, you were driving hundreds of miles away.

You’d ignored his calls, deleted his texts, and even refused to listen to appeals from your mother, who still kept in touch with his family. Distancing yourself away from him had only made your worst fears become a reality, and in turn made it even easier to run away from it all rather than confront your fears head on.

Avoidance was the only way you knew how to approach things that were hard - uncomfortable.

And maybe that's why you were sitting here on this damn fire escape in the first place.

"I just wanted some space," you defended yourself.

"But so suddenly? Was there something I did wrong?" he asked you dejectedly.

You turned to look Jungkook in his eyes, and behind his seemingly calm face you could see real pain. You really had hurt him, and in that moment you wished you could tell him the truth – that he hadn't done anything wrong. He'd done everything right, but you just hadn't known how to deal with the intensity of your feelings.

"Did you really have to change your number? Pretend like I didn't even exist?" Jungkook spoke up again.

"That's not fair," you shook your head. "You really hurt me with your words when I finally did tell you."

"Because you broke my heart," he exclaimed, getting visibly upset. "You told me you never loved me - that all of those memories, all those moments we shared...” he looked down for a moment. “You said none of it mattered. That I’d ‘taken it the wrong way.’"

"I didn't mean any of that," you blurted out loud.

"That's what I told myself," Jungkook started, "but what was I supposed to think when you completely cut me out of your life?"

You sniffled silently, unable to come up with any more excuses.

Simply put, you’d both really hurt each other.

As you focused back on all the lights down below, legs beginning to cramp, you felt a curtain of warmth envelop your shoulders.

Jungkook had draped his denim jacket across your body. You couldn’t help but fixate on how the fabric was soft and worn, and it smelled just like him - that same combo of body wash and cologne that you still couldn’t erase from your memory.

"Are you two dating?" you heard him ask quietly.

"What?" you asked, confused before putting two and two together. "Me and Changkyun? No…"

The question took you aback. What did it matter to him anyways?

"I came alone and ran into him unexpectedly," you explained further. "Why are you here?"

"An old classmate invited me," he told you casually, contemplating his next words for a moment before continuing. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping that maybe I'd see you though..."

You felt your heartbeat quicken at the casual admission, but you didn’t have much time to think about what it meant as he smoothly moved on.

"What about you? I thought you hated parties."

You sighed, hesitant to be so honest but feeling a strange sense of courage regardless.

"Well normally I do, but last New Year’s just...wasn’t all that great," you started.

"How so?"

You took a deep breath before continuing, counting off the reasons on your fingers. "Well, I was alone. And it sucked. I didn't even make it to midnight before I just fell asleep. So I decided this year I'd try going out instead."

"And how's it going?" Jungkook asked, the tiniest hint of a twinkle in his eye. “Tonight, I mean.”

Was he flirting with you right now?

"Not sure yet…" you played along, "but I'm still awake so that's a plus."

Again you sat quietly for a few minutes, neither of you making a move, not a single word shared between the two of you. This time the silence was comforting. You became hyper aware of his knee brushing against your own, and your insides felt so warm that suddenly the cold air didn’t faze you at all.

Maybe, just maybe…

Your quiet stalemate was interrupted when the fire escape door slammed open and the sound of drunken giggles grew louder and louder, a shaggy head of hair sticking itself outside to ogle at the two of you.

"Oh, shoot, looks like this one's taken babe," the random guy shouted in a slurred voice.

"Well hurry up and find somewhere else, I can't wait any loooonger," some poor girl whined, just as tipsy.

They disappeared as quickly as they came, the door shutting with a bang, and you and Jungkook couldn't help but burst out into laughter.

"Was their plan to screw each other on the balcony?" you heard him utter your exact thoughts aloud. Not so innocent memories crept into your mind for a split second before you squashed them.

He's still your ex, you reminded yourself.

"Not sure,” you said instead with a chuckle, “but it certainly looks like we’ve reached that point in the evening where I typically remove myself from the situation."

You pulled your phone out to check the time. "It's midnight,” you realized.

You two had been out there together for over half an hour.

"Guess that means it's time to go, huh?" you heard him ask.

"Yeah…"

Neither of you moved to get up though.

You weren’t expecting to still be with Jungkook at this point, and suddenly you were unsure of what to do. How did one say goodbye to an ex?

How did you say goodbye when you didn't want to?

"Y/n?" Jungkook said your name, pulling you out of your thoughts. You looked at him with bated breath, urging him to continue as fireworks began to go off in the distance.

"Um…" he stalled, clearly trying to find the right thing to say next.

Hating the silence, you improvised, taking off his jacket to give back. The warmth that previously enveloped you disappeared immediately, and it left you feeling strangely empty.

"Here, let me give you back your jacket before I forget."

"Oh…yeah, thanks," he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

As he leaned over to grab it, you quickly kissed his cheek before backing away and looking down, brushing the hair out of your face.

"Sorry if that was weird," you started, "but I just…wanted to apologize. For everything I put you through back then."

To your surprise, Jungkook shifted a little closer to you, lips pulled into a soft smile as he shook his head. "You don't deserve all the blame. We both said things we shouldn't have, and I'm sorry too."

Butterflies burst free in your belly, and the fireworks that lit up the sky seemed to form a faint outline around Jungkook’s head as he stared at you, eyes boring into your own, keeping you frozen in place.

His hand slipped into yours lightly, and you looked at them for a split second, fingers intertwined in warmth as he spoke. Slowly but surely, you felt yourself drawn towards him in a familiar lure, like a moth to a flame.

Like a wanderer finding their way back home.

"Any chance we could just pretend like it's ten seconds to midnight again?" you asked shyly, and he instantly cracked the biggest smile you’d seen from him all night.

Jungkook said nothing, instead leaning in to kiss you gently.

[hwangism143]

treat you better

synopsis: in which changbin gives you a pick me up, while making you realize your feelings along the way

pairing: non-idol!changbin x fem!reader

genre: fluff, comfort, platonic to something else (?)

warnings: mentions of eating, starvation, fatphobia, self-hate, fatshaming

word count: 1.1k words

requested by: @kayleefriedchicken

now playing: treat you better - shawn mendes

a/n: i'm open to writing a part two, if kaylee and the rest of u want me too!

"when you could be with me instead?"

Society's view of women was so fundamentally that it led women themselves to believe that they were fundamentally flawed.

The obsession this wretched society had with a women's appearance and the amount of hatred they displayed to a woman when she didn't fit the bill was enough to ruin somebody's faith in humanity. Maybe that's why you were so wary of people.

They thought their comments were passable, needed constructive criticism. Hell, they thought their words were encouraging. But in truth, every sentence felt like a deeper stab wound, pushing you to the brink of exhaustion in an effort to just be acceptable.

You rarely made friends. Each time you did, it just took a few weeks for them at most to say something along the lines of the way you look. The distaste, covertly disguised as concern, was so familiar to you that you instantly knew it.

It was the same situation you had to suffer through at the hands of your family for eighteen years.

And so, when you met Changbin for the first time, despite taking an instant liking to him, you kept him at an arm's length. You waited, waited for him to say something and anything about your weight, your face, you skin.

Why? Because Changbin was somebody who genuinely seemed to look past the way you appeared and having never felt that, you constantly thought he was taking advantage of you. But he never was. Over five years of friendship and he was still here, with you.

He took you to the gym and helped you get on top of losing any harmful weight. He introduced you to his friends, as kind to you as he was. (Except maybe Seungmin. Seungmin was a little shit.) But most of all, he was always there, a shoulder to cry on and an ear to talk off.

Whenever you felt like you were posing to be a bother to him, he replied with a quick, "You can always talk to me, I will always be here for you."

That was why you were currently sitting on his apartment sofa, your eyes red and puffy and his full of concern.

Once again, un fucking lucky you, was regarded based on looks, not merit. You were passed over for a promotion you had worked relentlessly a whole year towards in favor of a younger, prettier college fresher.

To make it even better, you had dinner with you loving family. Your mother prodded at you, forbidding you from eating anything more than a morsel which was unfit to fill the stomach of a baby. Your father joked around about how you looked less 'whale-like' from before, but still retained some of it's qualities. Only your sister gave you a reassuring smile, reaching over to squeeze your hand.

It was ironic. Your parents acted as if you invited yourself to dinner, as if it wasn't them begging for you to join them for just one meal.

You were spiraling again.

Maybe not eating would be better.

You weren't obese. You weren't even overweight. Just curvier than the beauty standards that accompanied most women these days. But the world was so fucking dystopian that people were ready to come at you like sharks to chum.

This world was so fucking dystopian that even you were quick to berate yourself.

It had taken a very, very long time for you to finally love the way you looked standing in a mirror. It had taken a long time for you to even face a mirror. And yet, you still poked at the skin the hung loosely on you, pinching yourself until you felt like crying.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

To say that Changbin was worried would be an understatement. He had seen you at your best and worst, and could say with his full chest that he preferred you at your best.

Watching you cry made it feel like his throat was drying up. Making you happy came as naturally as drinking water to him; so you not being happy had severe consequences. The repercussions were deadly, but then again, Changbin was spending a lot of time as of late with Hyunjin.

"My curves are in all the wrong places," you huffed, picking at your skin.

"I am of the humble opinion that wherever your curves are, those places instantly become the right places," Changbin retorted.

He handed you a bowl of ramen and gave you a glare that sent a resounding message of 'eat. or else you will be attacked by tickles.' You bit your lip nervously. Maybe not eating really, truly would help. But you knew that he damn well knew that family dinner meant you were coming home hungry.

Changbin looked at you, his eyes softening. "Everything will feel that's it's not okay but don't forget - you're not alone this time."

You give him a small smile. You would never be alone when you had Changbin. But you wouldn't be free from the demonic voices in your head either.

"I know, it's just-"

"Stop," Changbin interrupted you gruffly, "and eat. And let me speak."

He brought his face level to yours. "You, Y/N L/N, are beautiful. I am so sorry that you have never had anyone to say this to you, but it's true. You're so beautiful that quite frankly, the first time I met you, you took my breath away. So stop making yourself feel inferior because I care for you and I will always be here to tell you that you are an incredible woman."

He turned quickly, as if he had committed some forbidden act. You felt a blush creep up your cheek. The lined between 'just friends' and 'something more' blurred indefinitely. But that was a headache to deal with for another day.

"Changbin?" you said softly.

"Hm?" came his steady response.

"You're very beautiful too," you told him.

A smile slowly stretched across his face, his eyes still trained on the wall in front of you. You were entranced by the way his hair fell into soft curls and the way his eyes sparkled like stars were embedded into them.

You were so lost in his features that you didn't even notice Changbin reach for your ramen and take a bite, munching on it silently.

And so, two beautiful people sat on a couch. One, who slowly came to terms with how she really felt about the person next to her, the way his very presence lighting her up ignited flames that friends don't feel. And the other, who had been in love with her since the first time he saw her.

Changbin decided to ask you out on a date tomorrow.

please reblog and comment if you liked this fic! it means everything to me and I love reading your thoughts <3

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