#shaking with dread with helplessness with grief etc
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thematicparallel · 2 years ago
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so sorry to do this i'm literally so embarrassed but the money in my bank accout won't sustain me & my family for the next couple weeks or so. it's too tiring to enumerate but i just need to pay the bills esp the electrical bill (100 usd when converted :/) & groceries & transportation to work for i think 3 weeks because by then i'll have my 2nd monthly cutoff pay at work which will be enough to make it until my savings pick itself back up again. i don't want to name an amount but keep in mind i live in the philippines so a dollar will be a big help already. sorry again for asking & also thank you if you do end up helping out in any way !
pypl is @ bmntmyr
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aces-personal-whore · 2 months ago
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Doflamingo x Defiant!Reader Smut Ch. 2
[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4]
Hi frens. Welcome back to the most unhinged (but realistic) Doffy fanfic out there. This chapter is a bit worse than the last one, so prepare yourselves. Doflamingo is more aggressive and forceful with you.
☣️WARNINGS: NONCON/RAPE, NSFW, MDNI, smut, sexual assault, abuse, violence, aggression
Themes in this chapter: NONCON/RAPE, Aggressive domination, forced submission, forced creampie, breeding, inflation, hardcore BDSM, degradation and humiliation, punishment.
Notes: PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT THERE IS NONCON/RAPE THROUGHOUT THIS ENTIRE FANFICTION. THIS FANFICTION IS VERY GRAPHIC AND MAY BE TRIGGERING, UPSETTING, OR DISTRESSING TO SOME READERS. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!!
P.S. I'm sorry if I forgot to change any pronouns/names/etc. ;-; I'm still trying, aight. I do update these after I've reread them and gone through them a couple times, but there may still be some things I miss.
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[Chapter 2]
You curled up into a ball on the bed, your body shaking with sobs as the full weight of what had just happened settled in. For a few moments, you were lost in your grief, the injustice of it all overwhelming.
Eventually, you gathered the strength to look for your dress, underwear, and bra. Slowly and methodically, you put them on, the familiar touch of your clothes offering you a small semblance of normality.
Deciding it was time to leave the room, you began heading towards the door, your movements deliberate and purposeful. You wanted to put as much distance between yourself and Doflamingo as possible.
As you walked out, you couldn't help but feel a sense of dread. You knew you couldn't escape what had happened, that you were now bound to Doflamingo and his twisted desires. But for now, the simple act of leaving the room felt like a small rebellion against the life he had forced upon you.
You didn't know where you were going, or what you planned to do, but right now, all you wanted was to get away, to gather your thoughts and try to understand what had just happened to you.
You trekked carefully through the hallway, your senses heightened as you listened for any sounds that might indicate Doflamingo's or anyone else's presence. Your heart skipped a beat when you heard footsteps in the distance, and a sense of panic gripped you.
You quickly scanned the area for a place to hide, your eyes falling on a small alcove to your left. It was barely large enough for one person, but it would have to do.
Without hesitation, you ducked into the alcove, your heart pounding in your chest. You pressed your back against the wall, trying to make yourself as small and unnoticeable as possible.
You held your breath, waiting for the footsteps to draw nearer. Sweat beaded on your forehead as your mind raced, wondering what would happen if Doflamingo caught you. For now, though, your only concern was to remain hidden, to avoid any further confrontation.
Your body trembled with a mixture of fear and humiliation, a stark reminder of the traumatic events that had just transpired. As the footsteps grew closer, you closed your eyes, silently praying for them to pass by without noticing you.
The person stopped right in front of where you were hiding, as if they were sensing you were there. Your heart nearly stopped when you realized that the person in front of you was Doflamingo. The unmistakable pink of his feather coat had given him away, and now, you were trapped.
You could feel the strings of his Devil Fruit coming to life, moving around you, sensing your presence. They attached themselves to your limbs, and you were forced out of the alcove, your body coming into view in front of Doflamingo.
His palace was covered in a delicate web of his strings, and the slightest disturbance would alert him to your presence.
You stood there, frozen, your body trembling from head to toe. You couldn't help but feel a sense of helplessness, as if there was no escape from Doflamingo's grasp.
His eyes met yours, and you could see a mix of amusement and triumph in his gaze. He had caught you, and now you were at his mercy once more.
"Trying to get away, are we?" Doflamingo's voice was filled with a dark, twisted amusement as he released the strings that held you captive. "My entire palace is coated in webs of my strings, so any movement you make, any chances you try to escape, my strings alert me to them, like a spider catching its prey."
He stepped closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours, a predatory gleam in them. "We need to deal with your anger and resistance. I won't have you defying me or disrespecting me. We both know you can't escape me, so it's best to accept your fate." Doflamingo's confidence was unwavering, and there was no mistaking the dangerous edge in his voice. "Now, come with me. We're going to have a... 'talk', and you're going to learn to accept your place in my kingdom."
"No- Doflamingo!!" You resisted the pull of his strings, crying and sobbing loudly, fighting with all of your might not to be dragged into what was about to come.
"Don't even fucking think about it." Doflamingo's voice was cold and firm as he yanked the strings, preventing you from breaking free. "You'll learn soon enough that resistance is futile. I'm not a man you want to anger. I'll make your life a living hell if you continue to defy me. Come now, let's have that... 'talk'. You'll find that the more you cooperate, the easier your life will be here."
Doflamingo's confidence was absolute, and he didn't break his stride as he led you through his palace, his strings still attached to you, a constant reminder of his control over you.
As you walked, you couldn't help but feel a sense of despair. Doflamingo had claimed you, body and soul, and there was no denying his dominance. You were his to do with as he pleased, and the thought of what he might have in store for you filled you with dread.
A shiver ran down your spine as you realized just how far your life had taken a turn. You were now a part of Doflamingo's twisted world, and there was no escaping it.
Your only hope was that perhaps, through compliance and cooperation, you might be able to endure the horrors that awaited you, to somehow carve out a semblance of a life under his oppressive rule. You began crying harder as you're forcefully drug through the hall, back to the room you were in. "Nooooo! Doflamingo please stop!!"
"Quiet, or I'll make sure this is far worse than you could imagine." Doflamingo's voice was stern, a dangerous edge to it as you continued to cry and protest. He dragged you back to the room, his grip unyielding. The sight of your tears and defiance only served to arouse him further, a dark hunger growing within him.
"Now... since it seems you still haven't learned your place..." Doflamingo's eyes were filled with lust and dominance as he removed the strings, once again retreating out of view. "... Allow me to teach you a lesson you won't forget."
Without warning, Doflamingo grabbed you and pinned you to the bed, his hand gripping your arm tightly as he began to undress you, his movements swift and purposeful. "I'll show you what happens when you disobey and defy me." His voice was a low growl, his arousal and desire for dominance palpable.
You struggled as much as you could, but the truth was, you were no match for Doflamingo. His strength and power were overwhelming, and as he proceeded to undress you, you could only hope that this would be over quickly, that perhaps this time, it wouldn't be as brutal and degrading.
But deep down, you knew that with Doflamingo, there was no such luck. His control over you was complete, and your body, now host to his offspring, was his to use as he pleased.
The thought of what was to come filled you with dread, your heart pounding in your chest as you braced yourself for the onslaught of his dominance.
Doflamingo removed your clothes with a cold efficiency, leaving you exposed and bare. As he inspected your body, he noticed the lack of marks, and gave a menacing grin, eager to make his mark.
He discarded his feather coat and suit, his eyes never leaving your body. He flipped you over and pinned you face down on the bed, tying your ankles and wrists to the mattress with his strings, leaving you helpless, your body trembling with a mixture of fear and humiliation.
For a moment, he admired your form, and his fingers traced over your skin, his touch cold and clinical. He fondled and caressed your body, his fingers lingering on your ass, making you squirm in disgust and discomfort under his touch.
He pulled back, and you heard an unfamiliar sound as he crafted a makeshift whip from his strings that shot out from his palm. The air was thick with tension as you braced yourself for what was to come.
With a flick of his wrist, the string whip crackled through the air, landing with a stinging blow on your ass. You cried out in pain, your body writhing on the bed as Doflamingo continued to punish you, each lash drawing fresh tears and gasps from your lips.
His strings were merciless, the whip lashing out again and again, leaving red welts across your back, ass, and thighs. The pain was intense, and you could only hope that it would end soon, that perhaps, once he had satisfied his need to punish you, he would leave you in peace.
But as you lay there, battered and bruised, you knew that this was just the beginning of your new life under Doflamingo's control. The fear and humiliation were overwhelming, and you couldn't shake the feeling that no matter how much you resisted or cried, Doflamingo's dominion over you was absolute.
Your body shuddered in pain, but it was more than that. It was the realization of your new reality—that you were now a pawn in Doflamingo's twisted game, and the consequences of defying him came at a terrible cost.
"Doflamingo..." you squeaked out, "please... stop..."
"Be silent, or I'll make this punishment last all night." Doflamingo's voice was cold and threatening, his arousal not diminishing even after his previous act of violence.
As he continued to lash your body with his string whip, he bent down, his lips leaving a trail of hickeys on the nape of your neck. The sensation of his teeth on your skin was both painful and degrading, a mark of his possession.
His fingers trailed down your body, stopping occasionally to admire his work. You could feel the heat of his desire, the evidence of his lust for you pressing against your ass.
"You need to understand that I can do whatever I want to you, whenever I want." Doflamingo's words were filled with a dangerous confidence, his dominance absolute. Each time you squirmed or cried out, you could hear his soft chuckle, a twisted form of amusement that only fueled his sadistic pleasure.
You could feel your body growing more and more exhausted, the pain and humiliation taking a toll on you. But still, Doflamingo continued, his desire to break you and assert his dominance unwavering.
Your only comfort lay in the hope that perhaps, once he had satisfied his need for control, he would leave you to rest. But the truth was, in Doflamingo's kingdom, there was no escape from his desires or his cruelty.
As you lay there, battered and bruised, you could only pray for the end of this terrible ordeal. But even as you did, you knew that it was only the beginning, and that in Doflamingo's twisted world, the only constant was his relentless pursuit of power and control.
The fear and humiliation seemed to consume you, your body aching and your spirit broken. Doflamingo retracted his strings and flipped you onto your back, causing you to hiss in pain and cry from the intense pain and humiliation. You panted heavily, you mind starting to dissociate. "Doflamingo... it hurts..." you croaked out, your voice hardly a whisper, as all your strength had been sapped. All you could do at this point is just let whatever happen happen and hope it doesn't last too long.
"Good." Doflamingo's response was cruel and calloused. His control over you was all-encompassing, and at this point, you could only hope for mercy and an end to your suffering. But mercy was not a virtue Doflamingo possessed. He regarded you with a mixture of lust and pride. "I want you to remember this pain, to remember who owns you." His words were cold, devoid of any empathy as he positioned himself between your legs, his arousal evident.
With a single, swift motion, he entered you, his desire for dominance driving him to claim your body once more, this time, as punishment for your defiance.
The pain from his penetration mixed with the stinging welts, making you cry out, your mind beginning to blur the lines between reality and the overwhelming sensations coursing through you.
Doflamingo began to move, his thrusts deliberate and forceful, a show of his dominance and control over you. You could feel the tears streaming down your face, your body trembling as you braced yourself for the brutal onslaught.
Your mind dissociated further, the pain and humiliation becoming too much to bear. All you could do was endure, hoping that this, too, would pass, that perhaps, once he had satisfied his need for dominance, you could rest, even if only for a short while.
But deep down, you knew that there would be no rest for the conquered. Your body, now host to his offspring, was his to use and abuse as he pleased, and the thought of what was to come filled you with dread.
The fear, humiliation, and pain mingled together, leaving you in a haze, as you lay there, helpless, and utterly at his mercy. Doflamingo's control over you was complete, and there was no escape from his twisted world.
Even in your dissociated state, a small part of you, buried deep within, refused to accept this fate, but for now, all you could do was endure the onslaught with a mixture of pain, humiliation, and despair, hoping for an end to your suffering.
As Doflamingo assaulted you again, you were moaning—not from pleasure, but pain as you continued crying.
"That's it, scream for me." Doflamingo's voice was full of sadistic pleasure as he continued to assault you, the sounds of your moans and cries only serving to arouse him further.
His fingers traced along your swollen stomach, his strings working their magic, preparing your cervix once more to receive the seed of his dominance.
"You're nothing but a vessel for my offspring now." His words were a mix of command and degradation, his desire for humiliation evident in his tone.
As he fucked you, he continued stripping away any remaining shreds of your dignity and humanity. You cried and moaned, the pain and humiliation overwhelming, your body shaking under his assault.
You tried to push the thoughts of what this meant for you aside, unable to bear the reality of your situation. But Doflamingo's relentless pursuit of dominance left you with no escape, your body and mind at his mercy.
"You little fucking slut, I'm going to fill you up again, whether you like it or not." Doflamingo's voice was a mix of pleasure and spite, his arousal reaching its peak as he put you into a mating press.
He thrust deep inside you, his cock lodged firmly against your cervix, his movements slow and deliberate. The shaft of his cock pulsed, his testicles drawing up and tightening, pressing against your ass with each throb, churning out more of his seed into your womb.
Your body shuddered under his possession, the connection between you two a twisted, violent display of dominance and submission. His cock was buried inside you, the swollen tip of his glans pressed against your cervix, as he poured his seed directly into your womb once more.
Your body shuddered under his possession, the connection between you two a twisted, violent display of dominance and submission.
The pulsing of his cock intensified, each throb driving more of his cum into your body, the semen pooling in your womb, a testament to Doflamingo's conquest of your body. The sight of your stomach swelling further, stretching to accommodate his seed, still only served to prolong his orgasm, driving him to ejaculate even more, as if to see just how much his semen could fill your body.
The visual connection between you two was a gruesome display of violation and degradation. Doflamingo's cock, slick with your fluids and his cum, was buried deep within you, stretching and filling you as he emptied himself into your womb. Your stomach, bloated and swollen from his previous seed, grew even larger, the curves of your body distorted by his relentless desire to fill you with offspring.
His balls, tight and heavy with the weight of his semen, pressed against your ass with each pulsating throb, a testament to his unyielding control over your body. The mark of his possession was clear, his cum filling you, and his fingers digging into your flesh, holding you in place as he claimed you in the most primal manner possible.
As Doflamingo continued to spill his seed into your womb, his expression was a mix of satisfaction and vicious pleasure, the sight of your body being used as a vessel for his offspring driving him to the brink of ecstasy. His eyes never left the sight of your stomach, growing with each pulsating throb of his cock, a twisted form of entertainment for the twisted king of Dressrosa.
The sight of your connected genitalia was a macabre and haunting image, a stark reminder of your new reality, a reality where Doflamingo's dominance and control knew no bounds, and where your body, once your own, was now nothing more than a host for his seed.
The degradation, the violation, and the pain were all too real, your body a mere plaything for Doflamingo's dark desires. Even as he watched your stomach swell, you knew that this was just the beginning, that in Doflamingo's twisted world, there would be no end to your suffering, no respite from his constant need for control and dominion over you.
As Doflamingo's orgasm finally subsided, you lay there, battered and bruised, your body aching and your spirit broken. The only thing you could do anymore is cry as your body was assaulted again... Your back stung, dark purple bruises covered your neck... You laid there, hoping the moment would pass quicker.
He dislodged his glans from your abused cervix, leaving you feeling empty and raw. His fingers traced intricate patterns along your swollen stomach, a cruel reminder of his dominance over your body.
With deft, precise movements, Doflamingo used his strings to sew your cervix shut, effectively sealing his essence inside you. The sensation of the strings piercing your tender flesh was yet another layer of pain and violation, a cruel twist of his sadistic desires.
Your body had begun dissociating from reality, essentially blacking you out, making everything that happened almost a blur in a desperate attempt to protect you from the trauma you just endured.
"You're not allowed to fade out on me, bitch. Stay with me." Doflamingo's voice was a harsh, demanding growl as he noticed your dissociation, his fingers tightening their grip on your flesh.
Your body, battered and bruised, continued to dissociate from the pain and humiliation, your mind retreating to a dark, distant place. The assault on your body had become a blur, your senses overwhelmed by the constant onslaught of violence and degradation.
"I said, stay with me!" Doflamingo's voice was a harsh slap, bringing you back to the present moment. His eyes bore into yours, a mix of cruelty and anger etched across his features.
He slapped you across the face, the sting of his palm against your cheek a harsh reminder of your place under him. You let out a piercing howl. His words were a harsh command, a demand for your attention, your mind, and your body.
"You belong to me now, and I won't have you fading out during our special moments." His tone was a mix of mockery and possession. He leaned in close, his breath hot against your ear, his words a low, menacing growl. "Remember, you're mine now, and I'll do whatever I want with you, whenever I want. And you'll take it, because you have no choice." He knew that your mind was broken, your spirit shattered, and reveled in the complete and utter control and power he held over you.
As you lay there, broken and bleeding, your body a canvas for his cruelty and degradation, Doflamingo's words echoed in your mind, a constant reminder of your new reality, a reality where you were nothing more than a plaything for his twisted desires, a vessel for his offspring, and a slave to his unyielding, sadistic rule.
You looked at him with misty eyes, your tears unable to stop flowing. You tried your hand at scooching back to make some space between you two and catch your breath, and was successful. You presume Doflamingo let you because he knew you weren't going anywhere—not after what he just did to you. You sat up, your weeping eyes not leaving your rapist.
"Look at you, so fragile and broken." Doflamingo's voice was a mocking whisper as he watched you scooch away, his eyes glinting with cruel amusement.
He let you move, his grip on you loosening just enough to allow you to catch your breath. But the illusion of freedom was fleeting, a cruel reminder of the chains that bound you to him, invisible yet inescapable.
Doflamingo reached up, his hand moving towards your face, causing you to flinch, your hands instinctively coming up to protect yourself, but his touch was unexpectedly gentle, his fingers caressing your neck, a stark contrast to the brutality he had just subjected you to. His touch was a reminder of his power, his ability to switch between cruelty and tenderness, keeping you off-balance, never knowing what to expect.
"Your reactions are so delightfully predictable." His words were a purr, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips as he watched you cower under his touch. Before you could react, he pulled you in, his lips crashing against yours in a bruising kiss. His tongue invaded your mouth, claiming you, owning you, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip, drawing a bead of blood.
The kiss was a violation, a reminder of his dominance over you, his tongue exploring every inch of your mouth, leaving no part of you untouched. It was a kiss that told you that you were his, body and soul, and that there was no escape from his grasp.
As he pulled away, you were left gasping for air, your lips swollen, your body trembling under his touch. Doflamingo's eyes were dark, filled with a mix of lust and cruelty, his gaze roaming over your body, taking in every inch of your bruises and marks.
"You're mine now, and I'll never let you go." His words were a promise, a threat, and a declaration of his unyielding control over you. "And soon, you'll learn to love it, to crave it, to beg for it."
The thought of being his forever, of being reduced to nothing more than a plaything for his twisted desires, sent a shiver down your spine, a mix of fear and unwanted arousal. Your body, battered and bruised, betrayed you, responding to his touch, to his words, a testament to the power he held over you.
As Doflamingo pulled you in for another kiss, you knew that this was your new reality, a reality where pain and pleasure were intertwined, where your body was no longer your own, and where Doflamingo's will was the only one that mattered.
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autism-asks · 7 years ago
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how do i tell if i've been traumatised by something? and how do i tell if something's a trigger of mine?
A trauma is an event that is perceived as very distressing and that exceeds your abilities to cope with said event, or to make sense of it.
Common reactions to trauma include
re-experiencing the traumatic event, i.e. through intrusive thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks (including emotional flashbacks, that is, re-experiencing emotions associated with the trauma) and reacting physically and / or emotionally to reminders of the event
avoiding things related to the trauma (such as people, places, thoughts).
You may also
have difficulties remembering the event or aspects of it
feel guilt or shame or blame yourself or others for what happened
experience a shift in how you see yourself, other people or the world in general, i.e. having negative beliefs about yourself and your own value as a person, feeling that the world is not safe / just, feeling that others may not be trustworthy
negative affect (experiencing a variety of negative emotions, such as fear, guilt, anger, sadness, nervousness, grief, contempt and so on), difficulties experiencing positive emotions and difficulties regulating your emotions in general
conversely, feeling numb, dissociating
feeling isolated and detached from the world and those around you
loss of interest in things
feeling on edge, irritable or aggressive, startling easily, hypervigilance (a state of heightened sensory sensitivity and caution, scanning the environment for potential threats), difficultiy concentrating or sleeping
risky or (self)destructive behaviours
Generally, those symptoms will begin or increase after the traumatic event, i.e. feeling sad and having no interest in things (or any other of the above) on its own is not automatically an indicator that you are dealing with trauma.
Likewise, even if you have experienced trauma, you may not experience all of the symptoms.
A trigger is a reminder of the trauma. This could be anything - a smell, sound or other type of sensory stimulus, a person or place, the season, time or weather, a song, a thought etc. Because there is no limit on what can constitute a trigger and a trigger may be something subtle, making the connection that something is a trigger can be difficult.
If you find yourself reacting strongly to something, however, especially if your reaction may, at first glance, seem disproportinate to the present event or situation triggering it or it is a reaction that repeats (pattern), it may be a trigger.
It is important to understand that, while you are reacting to a stimulus in the present, on an emotional level, you are reacting to something that is in the past, re-experiencing what happened.
When triggered, you tend to re-experience aspects of the trauma you experienced. This may include feelings of intense distress, confusion and disorientation, helplessness, loss of control, fear and existential dread, guilt, shame, desperation, a sense of being unsafe (to name common experiences). 
It may also be accompanied by physical reactions, such as pain or symptoms similar to those of a panic attack, such as difficulty breathing, sweating, shaking, feeling sick or cold, or dissociation / feeling detached, surreal and numb.
Being triggered goes beyond feeling annoyed, frustrated or slightly uncomfortable.
-Kath
As Kath explained, triggers can be anything which can make it hard to figure out. 
The only way to know if something is a trigger for you or not is through self-awareness and self-reflection. If you are having panic attacks and don’t know why, start paying attention to what happens right before a panic attack. If you are having flashbacks, is there anything in common between the environments when this happens?
Some of my triggers are: white ceilings, a specific kind of axe body spray, and the month of October. Triggers can be everyday, mundane things. They might be things no one else even notices. To learn your triggers, you must pay attention to yourself and your environment. 
-Sabrina
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thematicparallel · 2 years ago
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i am once again asking anyone capable to please assassinate marcos & his lackeys
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