#shakes fist. g.aius WILL get to cry over his family one day when he finally deconstructs from being a weapon and a soldier and -

[heirbane]

i am in a love/hate relationship with gaius after the sorrow of werlyt, in his ship with alta. because they do get pregnant. because he has buried four of his children and is being forced into fathering another from the moment they take their first breath.

gaius has only ever known three babes in his life. He had known of Cid, as Midas' marriage began to unravel, their son but a stream of piss on a pyre. He had known Varis' firstborn, the daughter that never woke. and he had known Zenos, the son that killed his own mother.

he had known of them. he had not raised them, despite his closeness to both midas (as his young side piece as his marriage dissolved) and varis, both men had done what rich garleans were wont to do: they entrusted their sons to wetnurses and tutors. even then, gaius had been but a fun, occasional visitor, the uncle that taught zenos how to wield a gun, the elder brother figure that cid's parents often squabbled over.

and then the woman he swore to kill brought life to him, and in his fear - in his anxious, traumatized, horrifically regretful wisdom - he tried to shun them, too.

he had been there for his children, and they had all perished. at least, he thought, cid and zenos had lived - and they had lived because he was not involved at all. because he had not touched them. because he had not wrapped them up in his arms and promised them succor.

or so he believed.

gaius danced around holding his firstborn for days. he had excuses. he had ways out. he had dread, because he had tried to win against the warrior of light before and failed, and she was not someone who would simply allow him this weakness.

at the end of it all, it wasn't even alta that forced his hand: it was allie, his one remaining daughter, the last one who remembered what it was like to have a home and an education and a family name but not a father.