#shadowbloodninja

[thebibliosphere]

Sorry if you’ve answered this before, but how did you and ETD meet? I love reading about your interactions! You guys are so sweet and you make me excited to find someone in the future who loves me and my oddities. ^-^

All right well brace yourselves, this is likely not as romantic as you’re thinking.

It was online a very long time ago, on a geeky writer fanzine run predominantly by elf enthusiasts (the final Lord of the Rings had just come out, everything was elves for a long time). He liked my writing, and I liked that he liked my writing, so we became friends in what would turn out to be very turbulent times for both of us.

I was an emotional wreck, stuck at home, dating my abusive ex and unable to get away from him, and ETD was also going through some shit as well. My abusive ex was also on the fanzine (because wherever I went online, he went too. He also used to log in as me and go through my messages and delete any he didn’t like) and unlike ETD and a few others, like @ahzuri and @dreamwaffles (holy crap we’ve been friends a long time), he thought my writing was worthless and took every opportunity to put me down and just generally be a bag of assholes.

So while I was dating Asshole, future-husband-to-be and cryptid-in-training now known as ETD, sort of filled in the void where emotional stability and support ought to be. Something which I was also doing for him, while we both urged the other to get help and basically just sort of held each other above water long enough to find the strength to keep kicking on our own again. He was my best friend, long before I realized he was my soul mate. (Though not necessarily my sole mate, I’ve never ascribed to the idea of “one true love” or fate.)

I still remember the first time we had a webcam chat and I felt my stomach drop cause “oh no he’s hot”. I tried valiantly to stop staring at his hands or the crook of his smile, but the guy talks a lot with his hands and smiles a lot too, so it wasn’t easy. And I was still very much firmly in denial that I had feelings for him because nope nope nope, that just wouldn’t do. Besides, I was still dating Asshole and as much as I was desperately unhappy, I was just as equally desperate for his approval and affection and thought maybe if I just tried harder, I might deserve it.

Except things just kept going from bad to worse and some days the only thing keeping me going was the hour a day where I could talk to the dorky American sending me vaguely flirty but mostly benign friendly messages from over 4000 miles away, and who was always telling me I was smart and funny and he loved what I had written that day, and how he always looked forward to talking to me. Vs. my then actual boyfriend, who isolated me from my friends and got off on hurting me in not good ways, and made me feel like I deserved it. And he hated that I was talking to husband-to-be, hated it. It actually resulted in an argument where he told me (again) that I was lucky to have him because no one else would ever want me because I was so ugly. But instead of backing down like I normally did, I stormed off thinking to myself, “fuck him, who the fuck does he think he is, I bet ETD would appreciate a picture of my tits” and, well, I was right.

…Anyway. 

That went on for a while and I eventually found the emotional strength to break up permanently with Asshole and moved on with my life. I started going to college, made new friends…and still lived for those little moments when the $1 text message would show up every morning that would say “Good morning gorgeous :)” and tried to convince myself I had no feelings for him beyond enjoying his attention and our meaningful conversations about love, life and the universe as a whole. We even talked to each other about other partners we had, we were just…the constant in each other’s variables. 

And then my family decided they were going to go on vacation in the USA and we thought, hey great, lets meet up. He needed a friendly date for a wedding, and I needed to not spend three weeks in Florida with my family, great, sure lets meet up.

So I’m getting off the flight from Florida and I want to vomit. Like for real, I almost throw up in a trashcan I am so nervous which is ridiculous. Because I am meeting my friend. Sure he knew all my deepest darkest fears and all my fragile hopes in dreams. And what I looked like without my clothes on. But it wasn’t like this was a Big Deal or anything (haha, right…right? guys?…right?)

So I’m hightailing it through the airport, checking my phone to see if he messaged me back after I texted him from the plane, and I make it to baggage claim, and there’s a lull in foot traffic and the people part—and of course he has his back to me—and I get this overwhelming sense of calm wash over me. But he also very firmly has his back to me, and because I’m an absolute gremlin I decided to sneak up behind him because that’s the kind of person I am. Except that didn’t work because he turned at the last minute and suddenly I’m off the ground and we’re hugging and laughing and it takes over a full minute or more before either one of us actually says anything and when we do it’s this giddy breathless rush of hi/hello…you look, haha, no you go first, no YOU…how was your flight/drive, here let me get your bag/no it’s okay I, well if you insist…

I’d like to say it was love at first sight but I’m not that much of a romantic. I mean it was something at first sight because on the drive back to his parents house we didn’t say anything, we just stared at each other, holding hands the entire way. Which was very bad because he was meant to be watching the road not me. But we survived, made it into his parents house, put my suitcase into the guest room, went downstairs to get a glass of water and managed about maybe…two minutes?? of polite conversation?? And then we just sort of launched ourselves at each other and have been largely inseparable (emotionally speaking) ever since. 

It was one of the best weeks of my life, and I finally knew we had something more special than what I had allowed myself to believe it was. And not just because the final Harry Potter book came out that week and he let me read his copy before he did, but I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a big part of it.

Flash forward through five years of me finishing college and only being able to see each other once a year and trying to figure out where our relationship was going, (we like each other, we decide, we really really like each other and we’re good for each other and we love each other, maybe we could make this whole thing work if we try really hard) and he proposed via a rhyming treasure hunt and a mug of tea.

A year and a bit later we were married in Scotland, with our friends and family around us, and a sizable chunk of Internet friends who had been following our blatant denial for years, cheering us on from the sidelines. And now we’re here, five years married in May, still holding hands in the car when we shouldn’t, still very glad with the life choices we made that brought us here. Even on the bad days.

Which I figure must mean we’re doing something right.

[warau-okami]

@shadowbloodninja replied to your post “I remember you mentioning a while back that you thought you were the...”

Inspiring! You rock for learning a new language. I think a lot of people would be discouraged the later they try to learn a new language. I love your blog! がんばって��

Thank you! I appreciate it! 

[simplykorra]

It was a while ago but I binged RWBY through the latest season, and what are your thoughts on Roman Torchwicks's death? I always thought it was rather anticlimatic and deus ex machina, but it also let Ruby not have to face potentially killing someone and keep her innocent self. I kind of hope he got out of that too, bc i thought he was a fun lower level villain for them to face.

I was very indifferent about his death. I’d heard them say that he was supposed to die much sooner than that. It’s like...I liked Roman well enough, he was a good villain - but his death served the purpose of showing that the Grimm don’t have any allegiance in this fight. They’re just a darkness that needs to be contained. 

Once Cinder made her presence known and then we met Salem and her crew, Roman became kind of unimportant. Roman’s death scene was a lot like his character in general. Full of bravado and self-importance, as he gives his big speech to Ruby, but on the grand scale he was just as insignificant as the way he died. 

[nedsseveredhead2]

What's the anime from the gif set you reblogged where a purple haired guy answers the phone and it's god? Thanks ^u^

Hallo! I didnt know off hand but I did some snoopin’ for you, and it looks like its from an anime called Noucome ?

[jestingwithdragons]

19

My bestie @shadowbloodninja I love her she's the best.

[thebibliosphere]

Tumblr mom I'm having trouble with a sensitive tooth and its where they had to drill to get to a cavity in between my teeth. It wasn't bothering me until I went to the dentist like a month ago and since then cold things, like water, bother it and my cereal in the morning. I'm scared of the dentist and I'm terrified that I'm going to need a root canal. Can they knock me out for that? Laughing gas triples my anxiety and I'd rather not be left to my normal anxious thoughts. ;-;

So sometimes a tooth can become extra sensitive after work is done, and it can take a few days, or a couple of weeks or up to a month for the area to calm down, and sensitivity to cold can be a problem. If the tooth isn’t hurting the rest of the time, they likely wont root canal it, it’s just one of those annoying things that can happen after a filling is placed close to the pulp. (Responding to cold = live root which is good! Responding to heat = not so good, possible infection which they might be able to clear out without a root canal but if it starts responding to heat you need to see your dentist asap and tell them on the phone, you might need antibiotics.)

So before you panic thinking you need a root canal, are you using a toothpaste designed for sensitive teeth? If not try and get one. You can use it to dab the affected area throughout the day too, (just a small amount) to help your tooth go back to not being as sensitive. (It literally works by plugging the tiny tiny gaps with fluoride) I actually have this problem so bad I have to use a prescription toothpaste which is like 5x stronger or something ridiculous, than the ones you buy in stores. Your dentist might prescribe something similar if you ask them about it or if they think you might benefit from it. (I use Clinpro 5000, it’s the only thing that helps with particularly bad reactions to cold stimuli because pretty much all my teeth are drilled at this point) You can also ask your dentist about getting a fluoride sealant to help with sensitivity, with the bonus that it should help prevent future cavities as well.

But if your pain becomes persistent and you do end up needing a root canal, you can opt for sedation dentistry, which has two levels. One where they knock you out completely under general anesthetic (really expensive if you are in the US) or a wonderful thing called conscious sedation where you are awake, but you have been given a drug that means you just don’t care if you feel some things—which unless you’re a literal genetic mutant like me—you shouldn’t do with proper local anesthetic. You need to go to a dentist that specializes in that though, as not all dentist are qualified for it.

You can also tell your dentist you suffer from anxiety, as that will effect how well certain numbing techniques work for you. They may be able to prescribe something, such as a one off mild sedative to help you combat the stress.

Also are you sure it’s the laughing gas and not the shot making you anxious? I only ask because a lot of shots contain adrenaline, which helps you to stay numb longer. For me it induces immediate heart palpitations and nausea, and feels like a panic attack. I’ve been able to avoid this sensation by only using anesthetics that don’t contain epinephrine (adrenaline) so that might be something worth looking into too.

Good luck, I hope it’s nothing more serious than a sensitive tooth *hugs*

[jestingwithdragons]

When you get this, respond with 5 things that make you happy. Then send anonymously (or not) to the last 10 people in your notifications. Have a nice day/evening! :)

I just remembered this! Sorry. I guess I'll do it five thins that make me happy... hmm.. well Critical Role makes me happy every on there are great! Good Amvs or Amsvs make my day. People messaging or leaving an ask like this! :)What else, well video games do, and playing with people always makes it more fun. Oh and my dog Ziva she's adorable. Oh and one more thing well more like person but whenever my friend @shadowbloodninja talks to it makes my day she's the best.