#sevensmind

[sevens-mind]

for a while i thought i was an audial learner

recently have discovered it REQUIRES to be paired with something else 

bc my adhd says no

like audial and reading along

or visual and audial

i am struggling send help

[sevens-mind]

me & ocean r same

[sevens-mind]

i didn’t know what the fuck i was doing before

now

i really don’t fucking know

anything

at all

[sevens-mind]

I've noticed my hands go cold. They shake. I'm not on any medications and I can feel thoughts flood in. I pick and choose the ones that resonate with me. Death has come from all sides, I've been resistant but I am tired. Tired of resisting. I have surrendered before and I thought I did it again but here I am hands cold, alone, seeing 47 and losing my mind. My soul feels trapped under layers of old newspaper and glitter. I saw a vision of myself sat in a teacup shape with flower pedals forming around me. Like a flower that has not bloomed. I sit like fine china protected by more glass. All it takes is an earthquake. What if I am my own earthquake. That's why I sit and type about my cold hands. Because the human in me still tries to hold on, but the soul in me can't stay still.

[sevens-mind]

when life is still but good, i have felt the chaos of needing movement. frictionless. i notice i have been watered down, it is for the better and maybe so that i am not so overwhelmed by myself. still i pull cards and make spells in hopes to feel my inner child again.

[sevens-mind]

ive come to the conclusion the whole ‘bad person’ is not me, rather a human quality. it is the choices we make that make us ‘bad people’ but being aware of your choices is what makes the world of a difference. as my frontal lobe develops all my impulsivity and bpd brain has settled with all the healing and shadow work that ive done. i have been deeply uncomfortable for over a year now, but its also been the most stable healing year of my life. i can really say im not the same person i once was. im excited at who i will be at 25 someday. because i have proven to myself the strength and self-love that the universe has gifted me will get me thru it all, trust. trusting. believing it gets better. because it does. random thoughts. i miss tumblr but im trying not to miss anything anymore, let it all go and embrace a new reality.

[sevens-mind]

why do i even bother

[sevens-mind]

what a crazy journey it´s been to find out your neurodivergencey is why you suffered so much growing up... glad i can be kinder to myself now. four years of healing and every year i learn more about myself and how to make life a little easier... thank you universe for opening up my mind and helping me become a better me everyday

[sevens-mind]

my therapist told me i need to fix my all or nothing mentally but honestly...

nah.

[sevens-mind]

health is wealth

[sevens-mind]

i still cannot handle anger...

why

[sevens-mind]

everytime this apps logo changes i think of you!

[sevens-mind]

imagine getting married durring sunset somewhere green 🥺

[sevens-mind]

if only we were all transparent

[sevens-mind]

and so we dance

-

what if his defense mechanisms are high too

[sevens-mind]

why are my defense mechanisms so high

like

why cant i just not care if i get hurt?????

isn’t that better than building fucking walls