#sersi throws the wildest parties

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #325: PARTY GAMES!

October, 1990

Quasar: "Uh, Cap -- did you invite these people?" Captain America: "Don't look at me, Quasar -- it's Sersi's party!"

This is so embarrassing. Several of these guests are wearing the same thing. Someone is going to have to change.

Hm, though, that's the Crimson Cowl, Sharon Carter The Girl On Fire, Man-Wolf the Werewolf, Dead Guardsman, and the Mechano-Maurauder Mom-Killer. And two of each.

Don't know why there's two of each. To pad out the crowd? But these are the visions that haunted the various Avengers Support Crew people.

That's the last time on Avengers: by the way.

There was the Crossing Line incident, with the hijacked nuclear submarine and the getting stuck in a bag of holding. The Avengers just finished wrapping that up. And while that was going on Mother Night, Minister Blood, and Machinesmith were putting the Avengers Support Crew under mind control by showing them traumatic visions.

The Avengers are back from their silly submarine adventure, so now the back-up plot becomes the main plot.

Psshaw, Cap. Surely some fraternizing is allowed. Wanda and Vision did an entire courtship while they were on the team. Go ahead and bathe with Sersi.

So when the Avengers arrive back at the Subbasement, they're greeted by Micahel O'Brien, head of security. He's so eager to spring their surprise new meeting table!

Remember that? From the back-up story?

But, whoops. Thor already called dibs on rebuilding the old one.

Michael O'Brien: "whoops." Captain America: "Don't sweat it -- we'll find a good use for it!" Sersi: "If you don't wipe that hurt puppy look off your face this minute, Mr. O'Brian -- I'm going to bite your lip." Michael O'Brien: "Well, I wouldn't want that, would I?" Sersi: "Never know till you try."

Sersi, pls.

I said "some fraternizing."

But, also, this:

The world's most obvious bug.

I'm sure that the color is just for the benefit of the audience but that doesn't blend into the wall at all.

Captain America: "Great! The new laptop voice processors are in. This will speed up filing case histories considerably." Sersi, sarcastically: "the part of being an avenger i can't get enough of!" Captain America: "If you'll just look into the tiny screen when you speak, the processor will not only record your image and voice, it will also transcribe your words into cold type."

I love it when the Avengers book gets granular about their procedures. I truly do. Captain America, and presumably Mark Gruenwald, is very excited about the new way to file after-action reports.

And, hey! Science fiction becomes science fact. Voice recognition transcribing exists now and it is not very good!

As the Avengers work on the Crossing Line incident report, Mother Night, Minister Blood, and Machinesmith watch and congratulate each other on having bugged the Avengers' headquarters, something no one else has ever done apparently.

Machinesmith: "Mmm-hmm! The Red Skull is going to be tickled pink, I'll betcha!"

That's a fun turn of phrase.

Despite Mother Night's protests that she was watching that, Machinesmith starts flipping through the different bugs to see if any new ones have been planted.

Machinesmith: "Although you two may have been the ones to brainwash the fine upstanding members of the Avengers' support crew into planting the bugs -- I was the one who designed and manufactured the bugs themselves. Don't I have the right to examine my handiwork, too? Tsk tsk. I see they couldn't afford an interior decorator."

Hm.

Satisfied, Machinesmith turns the remote back over because he wants to go work on a transmitter so Red Skull can watch the feed all the way in Washington.

Mother Night: "You may be a just a robot, 'Chiney, but sometimes I feel like -- " Machinesmith: "Whoa! Time out! Save that stuff for someone who can appreciate it, Momsy! I agreed to help you with this plan of yours to get in good with the boss, not so you could slobber over me! Say, Blood, why don't you take your sister for a walk or something? I hate it when humans start going stir-crazy!"

Machinesmith is not about kissing humans. Or lady humans.

The comment about the interior decorating feels very... gesturing towards stereotypes.

Anyway, Minister Blood does take Machinesmith's suggestion and he and Mother Night go off to have lunch on the Red Skull's expense account. It's a business lunch!

Back in the Subbasement, the Avengers finish recording their reports and Sersi has an important announcement.

Sersi: "I'm having my monthly get-together this Saturday night, and I"ll take it as a personal affront if you boys do not attend. Shall we say eightish?" Captain America: "Uh, gee, Sersi, I've got the Wakanda Design Group coming in this weekend and --" Sersi: "They're invited too! I'm not taking a no for an answer. You boys have yet to make a single one of my parties! I did you the favor of joining your world-saving club, it's not that much to ask for in return!"

I love Sersi on the Avengers.

Also, the Wakanda Design Group. At some point it was established that Quinjets are made by a Wakandan manufacturing plant. Marvel wiki doesn't have a page for the group so I don't know what issue and date this was first mentioned.

But when T'Challa bankrupt Wakanda to own Killmonger, Tony Stark bought up all the shares in the Wakanda Design Group to keep Avengers tech out of rando hands. He also promised to give the shares back to T'Challa as soon as he uncratered the economy.

So I recognize it from the Priest run of Black Panther and a few other places. I just wish I knew when this was established.

Ah, well.

They're going to be at the party, maybe.

After the party conversation, Vision deduces that he wasn't included in the invite because Sersi only directly addressed Captain America and Quasar. Since the invitation wasn't explicitly addressed to him, he assumes he's not invited.

Vision: "Perhaps she reasoned that synthezoids would be out of place at such a gathering. I don't recall ever attending a party. Who is to say then that she is wrong?"

I'm sure some people are vibing so hard with Vision right now.

Anyway, Quasar also has something important he has to say, to Captain America.

He confesses that his civilian identity runs a security consultant firm and he wants to offer his services to the Avengers. Buuut he also doesn't want to be exploiting his membership for personal gain. So he makes it clear that he definitely doesn't need the business, really, he just wants the Avengers to be as secure as possible!

(I read a big chunk of the first half of Quasar's book. He WAS hurting for business for a while but Moondragon mind-controlled various companies into signing contracts with him. She was trying to help, I think. Point being, he's not just covering his ass when he says he doesn't need the work.)

Captain America asks if Quasar's company is any good. Quasar, obviously, says yes so Cap says the Avengers could use an independent security firm to double check their defenses. His razor sharp Cap insight also has him ask if Quasar blames himself for Avengers Island being sunk and Quasar doesn't really deny it.

Machinesmith is vexed to hear that an outside security group is going to examine the Avengers Subbasement. If they find the bugs, they'll have to get the mind-controlled staff to plant some more. It'll just be a big hassle.

But he also doesn't have to do anything about it now so he changes the channel to see what else is on.

I like how the scene transitions are framed as Machinesmith flipping around to different camera feeds.

Anyway, Sersi has cornered Jarvis and has gotten him to agree to go to her party too. In fact, the whole Avengers Support Crew is invited. She doesn't do an upstairs downstairs thing. Sersi parties are fun for everyone.

Machinesmith: "Partying with the Avengers? I can't think of anything more boring!"

Fun for everyone except Machinesmith.

But, look, I see where he's coming from. Captain America leading the Avengers. You wouldn't think that wild parties would come of that. But I bet Sersi knows how to cut loose. And She-Hulk, of course. And you know that Beast smoked a ton of weed back when he was an Avenger.

Machinesmith: "Let's see what else is shaking at the manse. Maybe I can tune in on that gorgeous hunk of man-machine... the Vision!"

Okay. Machinesmith is very queer coded.

He finds Vision hanging out with Fabian Stankowicz, where the synthezoid is asking Fabian if he has a life outside of work.

Which would be a rude question but Fabian says this job is everything he's ever wanted. "A place to work, lots of junk to work with, and folks who appreciate what I make."

Vision confides that he sometimes thinks there should be more to his life than just the Avengers but he's not certain what it should be.

Then he does Machinesmith a jump scare by flying directly through the spy bug. And then popping up in the bloodmobile that is the evil trio's base of operations.

Felt it important to show the entire confrontation in case you thought I was misrepresenting how horny this machine man is for Vision.

Anyway, he tries to hack Vision by staring into his eyes. Which doesn't work. Vision has been hacked by the best, i.e. Ultron. You ain't tall enough to ride this rollercoaster, dude.

Then Vision does what he always does and fists a guy. Except Machinesmith had a failsafe system and both him and Vision wind up knocked out.

Mother Night and Minister Blood return to find Vision and Machinesmith intertwined in a heap together.

Machinesmith managed to beam his consciousness into the computers in the bloodmobile. Where he appears as a wire frame on the monitor.

Vision damaged him too badly to re-inhabit his body so he has to have another delivered from Washington. In the meantime, Minister Blood decides to just dump Machinesmith and Vision's bodies in the East River.

Bye forever, Vision.

The next day, Quasar arrives in his secret identity of Wendell Vaughn with his follow security guy Kenjiro Tanaka. Quasar's secret identity is protected by a pair of glasses and everybody privately gives him shit for it.

Somewhere, Clark Kent is indignant and he doesn't know why.

But, anyway, Wendell knows security.

He brought an anti-eavesdropping device with him. When he turns it on, it jams all the bugs Mother Night et al had placed in the Avengers' base.

They flip from camera to camera, frustrated at getting just a blank screen.

This is even more vexing than the bugs being found and needing to be replaced. This means placing any new bugs is pointless. Mother Night wants to order the mind-controlled support crew to destroy the jamming device but Machinesmith points out that would give the game away.

Mother Night: "We must get something out of this! We can't go back to Washington empty-handed! At the very least let's get those insipid civilians to kill themselves!" Machinesmith: "I have it! Everyone's been invited to a party tonight at Sersi's...!"

Geez, these guys are kind of played up as kind of doofuses. Sure, they pulled off hypnotizing the support crew and getting them to plant bugs. But that's just it. They've triumphed... over supporting cast.

Vision almost instantly uncovered their scheming. Quasar thwarted them without even trying. Even their latest evil scheme is more petty spite than the masterstroke of a brilliant planner.

But that petty spite is is to have a bunch of people killed just so they can say they accomplished something.

Petty isn't harmless.

Anyway, party. And more people thinking Quasar is a big dingus for thinking glasses work as a secret identity.

Oh, and I see that Jarvis is still dating the younger girlfriend he got during Inferno.

Well, power to him.

He's also back to wearing the eyepatch. I'm not sure whether he needs it or whether he just wears it to look cool.

Also, Sersi has a really nice party pad and maybe owns the building. Being an Eternal means you can really capitalize on long investments. Also, she can turn anything into gold.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Mother Night, Minister Blood, and Machinesmith arrive in disguise. They hypnotize the kitchen staff, leave them tied up out of the way, and impersonate them.

A DJ, a live band, and a rapper? Wow, Sersi's parties have everything.

And yet what I notice most is how thrilled She-Hulk's date is.

Steve Rogers (secretly Captain America) arrives with his lady friend Rachel Leighton and immediately gets in trouble when Sersi gloms onto him and asks how close a friend Rachel is.

Rachel Leighton: "Sersi... what an interesting name. Is that your first name or last?" Sersi: "Like Madonna and Cher, I only need one name. Save the last dance for me, Stevie!" Rachel Leighton: "You come to this 'lady's' parties often?" Steve Rogers (Captain America): "I swear this is the first."

-sitcom laugh track-

As might be expected from a guy whose dream job is sitting and tinkering with mechanisms all day, Fabian Stankowicz doesn't quite know what to do with himself at a party. But he's happy to enjoy the free food.

Then Mother Night disguised as a waitress mind zonks him to come to the kitchen in five minutes.

God. Just let the man enjoy a meal!

Off-panel, the trio of dastardly no-good-niks must have zonked every member of the support crew to come to the kitchen because scene change, they're all in the kitchen.

Mother Night tells the hypnotized crew that enemies of the Avengers have infiltrated the party and are up to no-good. For some reason, we can't tell the Avengers this, we gotta take matters into our own hands.

With these guns neuronic neutralizers which are not guns at all.

And two minutes after the support crew returns to the party, Mother Night will 'reveal' their enemies.

So, that's somehow more grim than when the villains were just going to make the crew kill themselves. They're going to hypnotize them into killing as many people as possible at the party.

The Avengers, thankfully, are mostly quick on their feet.

Quasar sees Jarvis pull a gun on his girlfriend, Glory Garsen, thinking she's the Crimson Cowl, so he quases the gun away. Captain America wrestles the gun away from Michael O'Brien. Sersi just turns Fabian's gun into one of those toys with the "BANG!" flag. Who I guess is Gabriel Jones, based on the cast list, wrests the gun to the side before Peggy Carter can shoot him.

The mostly though is that She-Hulk doesn't reach John Jameson before he shoots his date.

Whoops. Four out of five ain't bad?

Mother Night and Minister Blood hear the gunshots and figure mission accomplished, now time to skeee-daddle.

Except, Vision suddenly intangibles into their path.

They try to claim they are simple caterers but without hypnotic disguises, these two are the most dramatic people for a mile. Vision's robot brain can't be hypnotized and he's not buying it.

And when they try to knife and/or kick him, he has to explain what intangible means. And then he fists them.

Back at the party, the support crew have been apprehended and they've also gone into a daze. Leading to suspicions that they've been hypnotized.

It also turns out that John Jameson's date, who he shot, has not been shot. All the bullets in all of the guns were blanks. The woman actually just fainted, probably because someone pulled a gun on her and the gun made a loud gun-shooty noise.

Vision arrives with Minister Blood and Mother Night to Explain It All. Well, most of it all. He doesn't actually know who these two are.

But Cap does! And since he recognizes them as Susan and Melvin Scarbo, hypnotists, it confirms the idea that the support crew was hypnotized.

Sersi has her priorities and decides to ask why Vision isn't dressed up for the party.

Vision: "I don't believe I was invited, Sersi." Sersi: "Jarvis didn't give you your invitation?"

So that clears that up!

Vision was invited but he was too on the bottom of the river for several days to be informed!

He only recovered night of the party and found the bloodmobile parked outside Sersi's building. Since they were smuggling in guns, Vision used his SOLAR BEAM to sabotage the bullets (hence why they were blanks) and then just. Waited around to see what their evil scheme actually was.

He was curious.

But it worked out. Nobody got hurt and the baddies got caught in the act.

Captain America: "You used good judgment, Vision. Sersi, I recommend you tell your guests the party's over. We're going to have our work cut out for us clearing our crew's minds of post-hypnotic suggestions." Sersi: "Oh, I think these hypnotists will be more than eager to cooperate, Steve. That is, unless they want to be turned into furniture. Zuras, how I hate party-poopers!"

You mess with Sersi's parties at your own peril.

So, that was a fun decompression issue. Avengers between adventures and unwinding at a party. Some excitement happens but Vision had it handled.

Next time in the Avengers book, the introduction of Rage. But next time on Essential Avengers, the Terminus Factor.

Follow @essential-avengers because if you don't, I'll feel bummed. And maybe like and reblog?