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kiribaku-some-cute-stuff · 6 years ago

Text

All Tongue Taped

For @serorokiweek 2018!!!

Day 1: First Kiss | Blind Date AU | Getting Warm/Staying Warm in the Cold Weather

@blondica2014 my dude it took a while and I’m so sorry it’s unbeta’d but ta-da!

Description: The four times Todoroki and Sero kept their feelings to themselves and the one time they didn’t. I’m really fond of this fic, it's a journey from Sero's and Todoroki's 2nd year to their early twenties. They have been carrying a torch for quite sometime until they finally realize their feelings are very much mutual. It’s pretty long so that’s why it’s under a cut. Words: 7,428 Because it’s a novel I highly rec reading it on Ao3: archiveofourown (dot) org/works/16821238 Disclaimer: Guys there is light gore in this story and a near miss on Character Death but NO ONE DIES. I PROMISE. Also if I missed a tag—I believe I got them but if I missed one please let me know and I will add it immediately. Rated: M because there are a couple of dark elements in here.

1. The time Sero didn’t Sero Hanta and Todoroki Shouto had been next door neighbors for 1½ years together at UA. There were a lot of people who didn’t understand their friendship—well only those who didn’t know them. Everyone else in Hero classes A and B knew why they were friends, they were into art, weren’t what you call foodies per se but they really liked going out and trying new places to eat. They hung out in each others’ rooms either studying or binge watching old tv shows. It wasn’t far too long into their second year when Sero noticed something had shifted in their relationship.

Sero found himself more and more unnerved whenever someone else had snagged Todoroki on a group assignment, or the way he didn’t mean to but he sort of forgot he and Sero had plans. Especially when Todoroki was specifically hanging out with a certain someone.

That someone, by the way, was Midoriya. The worst part was that Sero felt so guilty about holding a grudge like that against Midoriya. They weren’t best buds or anything but the guy was nice enough you know? It was weird though, and Sero thinking Midoriya was an okay kind of guy somehow made everything that much worse; and Sero couldn’t really place why.

One day while Sero was in the privacy of his own room he just sat on his bed back against the wall he and Todoroki shared. He needed to think because this madness was getting in the way of his grades now and he didn’t move up from 17th in the class to being one of the top 10 for nothing.

So Sero took out one of those tennis-sized rubber balls kids in his neighborhood would play handball with; and bounced it on the opposite wall. It was stupid—but it was an old throwback to when he was in middle school—it helped him think and it was oddly soothing. He’d toss the ball, it would hit the wall, bounce on the ground and Sero would catch it. He did this in an even rhythm, all the while absentmindedly talking to himself to figure whatever this weirdness was with Todoroki out.

“It sure as hell doesn’t make a whole lotta sense…” he said to himself. “Midoriya and Todoroki have been close friends since last year’s Sports Festival so why the hell is it only just bothering me now?” He mumbled to himself as he caught the ball, only to softly throw it again it was almost therapeutic. “And for the that matter, why the hell is it bothering me at all?’

Sero dropped the small ball which bounced a couple of times before gently rolling on the floor. The cause of this was due to Sero coming to an illuminating but horrifying realization.

“Oh shit—Oh Shit—I’m jealous. I like him. That’s why I’m—Oh fuck—what the hell am I going to do?!”

He looked at the ball that had rolled under his desk swallowing harshly. He felt his back stiffen but Sero still looked over his shoulder at the wall dividing him from Todoroki and decided that now that Sero had figured why he was being so freakishly edgy lately… he somewhat owed it to Todoroki and to himself to actually say something about it. So, Sero knocked on their shared wall. It was code. They came up with it during their first year after Todoroki’s dad nearly bit the big one. Todoroki needed to talk about it but he didn’t want it to be “a thing” so Sero offered to just listen whenever he could. It turned into a them thing before long it just became a signal that one of them needed someone to talk to.

What would usually happen was they’d meet out on their balconies unless the weather was horrible. Then the one who heard the knocking would go to the one who knocked. Mina and Uraraka had called it cute, Momo has called it sweet, whatever it was, it was their thing. They’d started doing it since the cultural festival, and it just sort of stuck.

Sero would regret this decision.

He and went outside to his balcony, the air was crisp, but not too cold, and the sun was setting. It was kind of a perfect setting if you think about it. Really, who could have asked for a better setting? It’s not everyday you could have the perfect conditions for ‘fessing up that you have a crush on your friend to their face. Except it wasn’t. Sero couldn’t help but think about how this whole scenery made what he was about to do heavy. It was like he felt like he was in love instead of just being ‘in like’ with Todoroki. And man… when Todoroki stepped out to join him, Sero actually gasped.

“Hi Sero.” Todoroki smiled easily upon seeing Sero, damn it. How the hell was he going to do this?

“U-Uh h-hey Roki,” Sero said, (casually calling Todoroki the nickname that was only reserved for him to use.) “Um listen, I was um thinking about something and I was um I-I think I um need some help.”

“What about?”

“H-Have you ever um, had a crush on anyone before?”

Todoroki’s eyes widened, “You’re asking me for relationship advice?”

“W-well not exactly I just—I really think I have have a deep case of the feels you know? A-And um… I-I don’t know.” Sero closed his eyes, what a mess. “What I mean to say is… Todoroki I think I like y—

“I just can’t believe you already found out.” It was clear Todoroki hadn’t been listening to Sero’s struggle of a confession.

“Huh?”

“Me and Izuku, that’s why you’re asking me right?”

Sero blinked, then slowly realized what Todoroki was saying… He and Midoriya. Todoroki and Mido-Izuku?

They were already dating.

“O-Oh, no! I actually h-heh didn’t know that. It kind of makes sense though… why you’ve been bailing on me.” Sero’s eyes widened he hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

Todoroki looked guilt stricken, “I’m sorry I don’t mean to…”

“It’s okay, I mean at least I know why now. Like um now I know I hadn’t done anything wrong.” Sero said softly. “And really it makes sense! You guys are just doing the new relationship dance. Kirishima and Bakugou had a period like this. Mina called it ‘the honeymoon phase’ or whatever. You guys must be just starting out huh?”

Todoroki blushed, “Kind of, it’s been one month and a bit… I think we celebrated our month anniversary two weeks ago.”

Sero swallowed harshly, he felt like he was going to be sick. “That’s awesome man, congrats.”

“Thanks… I’m sorry I didn’t um tell you.” Todoroki rubbed the neck of his neck and looked like he was truly sorry, but…

“Yeah, why didn’t you?” Sero asked with maybe with a touch too much of venom in his voice, but he was angry. And the guilt stricken look Todoroki was giving him? Did not help.

“I don’t know—I didn’t really think much of it when we started it um dating I mean… but when you asked about crushes I thought you knew about me and Izuku and I was taken aback because we haven’t told anyone except—”

“Let me guess… Uraraka and Iida?” Hearing Todoroki call Midoriya ‘Izuku’ for the second time really fucking hurt.

Sero didn’t want to be angry. He really shouldn’t be angry but he was nonetheless. Sure, Sero was a little bit sore because he missed his chance, but that was only a small part of it. But this ran a lot deeper than just Sero having the brief hope of being liked back knocked back to being just a crushed dream.

No, the part that really hurt—the part that really cut him through—was what had this meant for their “solid and close friendship.” Exactly… why hadn’t Todoroki told Sero about this? About any of it? Sero thought they were friends, close friends well shit—best friends actually. But Todoroki seemed like he couldn’t trust Sero with keeping his relationship with Midoriya under wraps… it felt like a gut punch to the stomach. Did Todoroki really not trust him? For fucks sake, Uraraka and Iida were allowed to know but he couldn’t? And shit what about all of those plans that Todoroki had cancelled? All that waiting Todoroki had made Sero have to do? And just exactly how many times had Sero rearranged his schedule for Todoroki and then it meaning… nothing?

Ok, alright, maybe that’s a little harsh. Sero admitted to himself that he was overreacting. Uraraka and Iida were mutual friends of both Todoroki and Midoriya. Sure Todoroki was not as close to them as Midoriya was, but still they were their own circle so Sero could understand why they were in on it. After all, Kirishima hadn’t told Tetstutetsu about his relationship to Bakugou right away. And yeah, ok, Sero thought that that made sense—it still fucking hurt but it wasn’t that bad—it wasn’t as if Todoroki told Momo or someone else that was only close to him or something.

“Yeah, they know but also I um well I told Momo.”

‘Oh.’

Sero thought he really was going to be sick now.

‘So, that’s how it is…’

In Sero’s mind that was all the confirmation he needed to think that Todoroki didn’t trust him. Momo and Midoriya weren’t close. Momo was pretty much exclusively Todoroki’s friend; she was allowed to know, but Sero wasn’t. Even if that wasn’t the case Sero couldn’t shake the thought; that he was untrustworthy to Todoroki’s eyes, and the worried look on Todoroki’s face reinforced that horrible feeling.

“Dude… I’m not going to tell anyone.” Sero sighed, Todoroki looked visibly relieved. Shit didn’t Todoroki realize how much this hurt? Sero’s was doing everything in his power to not cringe at the proverbial knife that sunk deeper and deeper into Sero’s heart. Did Todoroki really think Sero would spread the details of Todoroki’s personal life?

A chill went down Sero’s back.

Maybe Sero had been wrong this whole time. Maybe they were never as close as Sero thought. Sero felt his eyes stinging. Maybe Todoroki just hung out with Sero out of pity or guilt from the first year’s Sports festival, and if that was the case…

Had they ever been friends at all?

~~~

“Thanks Sero,” Todoroki said. He felt awful. He knew something shifted between them, he could just feel it. He didn’t know what had shifted exactly, but then he remembered that Sero had been the one who needed to talk and Todoroki had kind of interrupted—yikes—some friend he was…

“Um, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt before. You um said that you were worried over your feelings for someone?”

Sero looked pained, “Oh that? Aw man, don’t worry about that, i-it’s not important… it honestly doesn’t matter anyway—th-they like someone else. Um, I’m glad you told me about Midoriya, a-and um I’m glad that you’re happy.” Todoroki noted that although Sero had said the words, there was no life behind them. Actually Sero’s expression turned from pained to outright upset. What had Todoroki done? Todoroki went through everything he had just told Sero and he tried to find what could have garnered this subtle reaction of unrest.

“Are you sure?” Todoroki pressed on, hoping that Sero would tell him. He shouldn’t have interrupted him!

“I’m sure,” Sero put on a fake smile, Todoroki could tell because Sero had so many different smiles that no one had bothered to notice. And well Sero had become one of Todoroki’s closest friends of course he noticed. Sero had been there through the worst and the best of times. Sero knew things other people didn’t know about him—forget close friend, Sero really was his best friend.

‘Oh. Oh shit!’

Todoroki felt himself cringe in realization.

He fucked up. He fucked up badly. Todoroki couldn’t be 100% sure but he assumed that’s what Sero had to have been upset about. Todoroki—albeit inadvertently—had shut out Sero. Todoroki tells Sero almost everything but, how could he not tell him about he relationship with Izuku? It was kind of a big deal—huge deal. The worst part was Todoroki had told Momo who was near equal to Sero in terms of being close—but not really… Todoroki felt a deep sense of shame, he felt like he had betrayed Sero to a certain extent.

Todoroki had to do something to fix this. He honestly hadn’t meant anything by keeping his relationship close to the vest, he just needed to tell him that! Todoroki was ready to apologize for being so short sighted, for keeping Sero at arms length, for not being there for Sero when he needed him. Todoroki opened his mouth to speak but it was already too late.

~~~

Sero hoped he didn’t seem too bitter, he hoped he didn’t look too crushed, he just wanted to forget it, all of it, like all of this never happened. But it did happen.

Todoroki didn’t tell him about Midoriya, and there was no way Sero could tell Todoroki about his feelings for him now. It was stupid it was all so stupid, but Sero knew he couldn’t go back to how they were. He liked Todoroki. He had so many nicknames for Todoroki that now felt far too intimate than it being ‘just a friend thing’ anymore.

Sero had to let this go. He had to let any hope of them being a thing—having a relationship go. Sero thought—no, knew—it would be fucked up if he tried to be anything other than just a friend now. Todoroki had suffered so much and Midoriya made him happy, Midoriya could be the friend—companion Sero could never be.

Besides… he and Todoroki—fuck they weren’t even—Sero felt his stomach drop—they weren’t really friends.

Sero knew he could will himself to stop seeing some bullshit fantasy of a future for them, because in reality it would be so fucking selfish. He’d confess, make Todoroki choose, cause him some more suffering and even though Todoroki didn’t see them as friends, Sero did. He couldn’t do that, he couldn’t hurt his friend. If he tried then it would ruin relationships and end in tears. In fact, if Sero didn’t end this conversation right now then it literally would.

“A-anyway, it’s really no big deal man! I mean I doubt—honestly I don’t think you’d be able to help. Sorry for um dragging you out here for nothing. U-um goodnight Ro—” He paused… no, not Roki anymore, not ever again.

”Goodnight Todoroki…” Sero hated that his voice cracked. Sero felt like he was going to break but he didn’t. Even though Sero was devastated and wanted nothing more than to take back everything he said to take it all back. A small part of himself couldn’t help but feel some satisfaction at seeing his friend experience a fraction of what Sero had these past weeks—hell the way Sero was feeling right now.

Sero was surprised that all it had taken was calling Todoroki by his full surname instead of ‘Roki’ to see Todoroki’s face fall. It felt good for about a second and then twisted into almost grief… they weren’t the same anymore and Sero hated it.

It was definitely time to leave.

Sero waved at Todoroki before going back into his room. He shut the door; he put on his music and covered his face into his pillow so Todoroki couldn’t hear him cry himself to sleep.

~~~~~

2. The time Todoroki didn’t

Todoroki and Sero had been different ever since that night in their second year. The night Todoroki told Sero that he was seeing Midoriya.

It was subtle the way their friendship had changed. Not necessarily bad but—it just wasn’t anywhere near like it used to be—Todoroki knew it was his fault, he should have told Sero about Midoriya. Yes… Izuku was Midoriya again.

Todoroki didn’t realize how many times he had missed hanging out with Sero until he realized Sero stopped inviting him to movie nights—or that he had changed the day altogether…

Apparently when Sero and Todoroki had their movie nights it was because Sero had actually moved stuff around and made time for them, for him. Todoroki felt awful about that, and then having to deal with the shame of even asking if he could come along to the the new movie night—group night, no longer nights that were just theirs anymore.

Todoroki would never forget how embarrassed Sero looked when Todoroki asked to come back; and Todoroki would never forget the anguish he felt when Sero told him the reason he stopped inviting him. Sero revealed that he thought that maybe Todoroki didn’t really want to be friends with him. That Sero had been too pushy when it came to them.

That had hurt more deeply than when he and Midoriya broke up. That shouldn’t be how it works right? Shouldn’t you be devastated after a romantic break up? It wasn’t like Todoroki wasn’t sad that it didn’t work out between them—him and Midoriya. They had fun, but in the end Midoriya and Todoroki were better off as friends. The weird thing was, he and Midoriya only had one awkward week before they were back to being good friends again, if anything they were closer now than they had been when they were dating but they still weren’t anywhere nearly as close as how he had been with Sero.

Meanwhile, he and Sero seemed to be well… damaged. Yes, it was subtle, and yes they didn’t hate each other or anything but when Sero had told Todoroki that he thought Todoroki didn’t like him? The thought of Sero thinking that the only reason Todoroki hung out with him was out of pity? That hurt more than anything.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about it ever since that dumb night, and that’s when it hit him.

He liked Sero. He had a crush on Sero. He didn’t want to tell Sero he had been dating Midoriya because he had had feelings for Sero.

“I’m such an idiot.”

It made sense now, it all made sense now, and how could he have not realized it?!

He should probably do something about it right? He should tell Sero. Who knew? Maybe there was some sort of hope—but then Todoroki walked into the cafeteria.

He saw Sero sitting at a table with his friends and then a girl from class 1b came over—Tokage Setsuna—and sat on Sero’s lap, then kissed his cheek.

Todoroki felt his stomach drop and a pressure behind his eyes. And that was it, that was the end of that. The thought of confessing died instantly. He turned around and walked away, after all… it was his fault in the first place.

~~~

Sero hadn’t meant to tell not Todoroki he had been dating Setsuna. Especially since well he really hadn’t been seeing her for all that long actually—really—they had only been on two dates maybe? One on Saturday and one on Sunday—they just had a natural sort of chemistry—similar personalities and all of that. Sero had told the ‘squad’ but he hadn’t told Todoroki yet. It wasn’t so much out of revenge or anything. It was just that Sero and Setsuna were so new, it didn’t seem like they were ‘a thing’ yet. But also it felt weird—or wrong—or he wasn’t sure but something Todoroki knowing about Sero new relationship left him with an unsettling feeling inside. Sero supposed that maybe this was why Todoroki hadn’t told Sero about Midoriya last year.

But clearly they were ‘a thing’ because when Setsuna talked to his friends and kissed his cheek and he felt so warm. Sero just liked being around her, she had a great sense of humor and it was just nice to be—well to be liked back for a change—but then Sero saw Todoroki’s face at lunch. Todoroki walked in briefly making eye contact before turning around having his lunch somewhere else.

Sero thought that he was going to be sick, it was the exact same feeling he had felt last year. He should have told Todoroki. They may not have been as close as they used to be, but they were still friends. And since Sero had experienced this exact same thing he knew better. He could have said something, could have followed him, but instead he stayed where he was and watched Todoroki go.

~~~~~

3. The time they both didn’t

After graduation Todoroki offered to move in with Sero, and it was a god send because Sero was going to move in with Setsuna but well life happened, Setsuna had to move to Nagoya for with and they decided to break up.

It was on mutual terms and they still talk and all that, but they had fizzled out into friendship by then. The long distance relationship thing would have been way too difficult to maintain in their line of work. They were sad and were really emotional about their break up but ultimately they were at a crossroads and they knew it was for the best.

Unfortunately, this left Sero a little high and dry because he had signed a lease and the rent was way too high if he had to live there on his own. So yeah, when Todoroki offered to move in, Sero accepted without hesitation. It was weird at first, you know, living together? But after a while, it was like magic. They had gotten back to where they were before—being good friends, hanging out together, getting closer and closer. It was like their weird little rift had never happened—well almost.

Sero didn’t feel comfortable calling Todoroki, ‘Roki’ and yes it had been years—but it just didn’t feel the same anymore. Who knew? Maybe some things couldn’t be unbroken. It was a moot point though that was all behind them and there was no reason into have that small insignificant thing bog down the friendship they had rekindled. So back to being friends only it was, they got to be: Pro-heroes together, living together, fighting villains together, and of course being exhausted together. One day was particularly harder than most. They had come home and Sero immediately took to their couch.

“Ugh,” he sighed, “Fuck me, today sucked.”

“It was a long shift that’s for sure… do you want to order in? Watch something mindless.”

Sero’s eyes widened as he laughed, “Shit, now I KNOW you’re tired. When was the last time you caved on cooking yourself? Actually, never mind, I’m not gonna question it—that all sounds good, but uh before you sit down would you mind grabbing me a beer?”

Todoroki laughed back, “Sure thing.”

As soon as Todoroki laughed Sero felt something coil in his abdomen.

That was weird.

That laugh—Roki’s laugh—normally it wouldn’t have done anything to Sero. He knew that laugh, he liked that laugh… but wait no! He had completely gotten over what that light soft laughter did to him when he was younger.

No.

But then Sero remembered. That laugh, that fucking laugh. That’s how it all started in the fucking first place. He hadn’t been able to pick out the precise moment he started to be in like with Todoroki in his tender UA days. (Well at least not until he spent countless hours obsessing over it while he was mooning in unrequited love).

Sero remembered how Todoroki had laughed it one of his jokes and then well clearly started dating Midoriya so he tucked it away—buried it and never thought of it again until now. Todoroki’s laughter spread through him filling him with such a soft familiar warmth. He hadn’t felt anything for Todoroki during these past three years—not since they graduated from UA—until now.

That stupid fucking laugh.

He tried burying it again but he just couldn’t shake it and this time he was pretty sure it wasn’t going to go away as easily.

~~~

Todoroki couldn’t believe how exhausted he was how exhausted they both were. He was glad to hear Sero didn’t mind Todoroki missing his turn for cooking that night, and he even laughed when Sero asked him for a beer. Todoroki went to get it without question, in fact he himself would be part taking as well.

“Hey Sero?”

“Y-Yeah what’s up?”

“Do you want a glass or are you okay with a can?”

“Oh uh a can is fine, to be honest you could probably throw it at me and smack me in the face and I probably would care. What do you want to order?”

“Uh, I don’t know Sero you pick, I’ll pay.”

“Well shit then I shall go with something less healthy and more expensive than usual. And! I can rationalize that it’s really your fault because you gave me free range!” Sero laughed and what had happened to Sero moments before happened to Todoroki.

Todoroki heard his heartbeat in his ears.

That laugh… Sero’s kind—warm, laugh that so easily brought a smile to anyone’s lips and his smile—

“‘Kay just ordered garbage pizza.” When Sero laugh again Todoroki realized that that laugh made him feel this way before.

No.

Todoroki shook his head. There was no way he could feel that spark that again, that spark of love and longing that had pained him in his days at UA.

Could it?

No. No!

Todoroki decided, that he was just tired, it just had been a long day—yes that’s all. He shouldn’t—didn’t have the right to hope that they could work out this time. He broke them. He broke them because he was too much of an idiot to realize just how much he cared for Sero the first time back at school. And Todoroki realized that he shouldn’t try something it could ruin them again.

But…

~~~

Sero’s got goosebumps when Todoroki sat down. Their outer thighs touched and they gave each other a deep meaningful look, like they knew. Like they both knew there was something different about each other this time. If only they knew what the other was thinking, if only they realized that they were both thinking the same thing.

‘What could be the worst thing that could happen if I said it? If I admitted to liking him far more than just a friend… that I had a crush in UA and that it never went away. It could go wrong but what if—what if it turned out alright? Better than alright?’

The two of them looked over at each other and it was almost uncanny how they both turned their heads at the exact same moment and to see each others’ eyes look so vulnerable. Their hearts were beating like drums and they found themselves almost holding their breath. They gave each other a look full of longing, full of desperation and desire. It was dangerous but it held a promise of more—of everything they had ever hoped for.

They were ready—terrified but ready—and then the door bell rang.

Sero looked away and Todoroki felt himself standing up, dear god the bitter disappointment they both felt made it hard for them to breath.

Each of them had a secret hatred for the delivery man. When Todoroki came back with the food he saw that Sero had turned on the tv and put on an old tv show from the Quirkless Era.

He saw that Sero had moved away from where he had just been sitting. Todoroki offered Sero an awkward smile they both felt the tension leave the room.

The moment was gone.

~~~~~

4. The time they kissed but didn’t tell

It was their day off and they decided doing some shopping for getting some groceries, some light bulbs, just ordinary run of the mill stuff you know? And maybe, just maybe they could talk about it. The thing that they once again been keeping from each other. They both caught themselves staring at each other with glances of longing.

It was time.

They honestly couldn’t subject themselves to this much torture again and again.

Sero and Todoroki almost touched pinkies several times on their walk to the store. Finally they both summoned all of their courage to make the bold gesture, but just as their fingers touched—the ground, building, everything began to quake.

~~~

The earthquake that rocked Tokyo, was huge, they’d find out later that it was a 8.1 on the Richter scale. It left Todoroki and Sero no time for secret wants and desires, their Pro-hero training turned on into high gear as they started escorting everyone out of the building.

They were successful in getting everyone out, but they decided to do one last sweep of the place before considering it officially cleared, it was protocol after all. There were only a handful of people who needed extra help in getting out. Once they were sure everyone was out of the store they started to exist the building. That was when the aftershock hit ultimately causing the ceiling to cave in all around them.

Sero acted quickly, grabbing Todoroki and slung his tape to a stable corner of the store and bungeed them there. They barely made it, if Sero had acted a second later they would have been crushed under the rubble. They were trapped, but they were alive and as long as there wasn’t another massive aftershock they were more or less safe.

Well, sort of.

In their semi-escape to safety, Todoroki broke his leg was completely shattered, it was a small miracle that the bone hadn’t broken through the skin. But Sero… Sero was a different story altogether. On a first glance you’d think Sero was completely unscathed minus some minor cuts and abrasions, but then all you had to do was look at Sero’s torso to see how not okay he truly was. Somehow, in their rush to safety a huge shard of glass had embedded itself within Sero, protruding from his abdomen.

“Sh-shit… Todoroki… you ok?” Sero wheezed before coughing.

“Yeah” Todoroki panted, “my leg’s broken but otherwise I think I’m ok, are you—” Todoroki looked at Sero and his chest swelled from dread.

‘No.’

Todoroki could barely breathe when he saw it. ‘It’ was a huge chunk of glass was lodged into Sero’s side. Todoroki suspected that cursed piece of glass was like an iceberg, he could only see a part of it but the majority of the shard was probably inside Sero. Dread turned into a black pit of fear, it coiled in Todoroki’s stomach and sent chills down his spine.

‘Please no.’

“It’s ok… Todoroki it will be ok; please don’t look at me like that. Remember help is coming, those people know that we came back in here. I just need to make sure not to move the glass. Man, being a hero sucks sometimes huh?” Sero tried to laugh but ended up mainly coughing.

“T-Take it easy, please for me, j-just no jokes right now,” Todoroki cried.

“O-Okay. Hey Todoroki, in all seriousness I um, I’m going to need you to um…” Sero took a ragged breath. “I’m gonna need you to bandage me with my tape, keep this thing in place, if it moves I don’t know how that will effect the interior wounds…”

“Yes, of course—you got it, I can do you one better.” Todoroki used his ice quirk to freeze the glass and broke off a big chunk of it. If nothing else it would take away some of the weight and stopping it from shifting deeper into Sero. After that Todoroki carefully bandaged him.

“Th-Thanks…” Sero said panting.

“N-no problem—hey S-Sero…” Todoroki looked at Sero biting his lip afraid to say exactly what he was thinking—what he needed to say.

‘Y-yeah? Heh,” Sero paused before he used the nickname he hadn’t spoken for years, “w-what’s up Roki?”

Todoroki closed his eyes—It wasn’t fair.

“Just hold on, h-hold on okay? You’re right, this is a heavily populated area they will send someone here o-okay? Sero please just hang on…” Todoroki wasn’t even aware how panicked he sounded, or how much he repeated himself he just needed Sero to stay alive. Sero’s eyes fluttered closed ‘fuck’ Todoroki had to keep him awake—something anything to keep him awake.

“You called me Roki h-heh I haven’t heard that name in a while. I can’t even remember when you started calling me Roki. But I do remember the day you stopped… I’m sorry I shouldn’t be—”

That did the trick. It woke Sero up enough for him to explain why he stopped. Who knows, it might be his only chance. “It was stupid of me to do in hindsight. I um. I just—” Sero shivered a little but didn’t complain. That was concerning but Todoroki dared not to interrupt.

He had been wanting to hear why he Sero stopped, up until this point Todoroki could only guess he spent years blaming himself but not really knowing why and now was his chance to know what specifically was the thing he fucked up that put a strain in their relationship.

“I just—i-it was a lot of things, a lot of small stupid things. I-I think I mi-might have told you the short version when we were y-younger, but i-it started with um you not telling me about Midoriya. I-I mean when you guys started dating. I-I thought um,” Sero coughed and Todoroki winced, “I thought that name was too intimate to say—or that m-maybe you had a problem with me using it because you didn’t trust me? You didn’t tell me about Midoriya, and it wasn’t so much that you started seeing him, it didn’t even matter that you told Uraraka and Iida. They w-were your mutual friends but Momo was exclusively your friend, b-but you didn’t tell me. I thought we were really close but you didn’t tell me and it made me realize that—I felt like you didn’t tell me because we weren’t close. That you didn’t trust me… that I… I thought that I didn’t matter to you as much as your other friends. I felt like I had been bothering you that whole time. It was stupid and I knew it wasn’t true but it hurt at the time and then I hadn’t meant to but I did the same thing to you with Setsuna… A-after that,” Sero started a hacking cough.

“S-Sero—”

“I’m okay,” Sero let out a ragged breath, “I’m okay… S-So I just stopped calling you Roki because I just felt too guilty to call you a nickname that wasn’t for me to call you anymore.”

Todoroki sniffled, “I’m sorry. I-I a-always trusted you—I don’t know why I didn’t tell you about my relationship with Midoriya. I think it was because of how guilty I felt about everything I had done to you. I didn’t realize how much you tailored your schedule to fit mine until I realized you changed movie night. I fucked up and I didn’t know how to fix it and I wanted to, but I felt like I broke us beyond repair.”

Sero felt a tear stream down his cheek, “you didn’t… of course you didn’t.”

A weight had lifted from them, pity it had to be now, here in the rubble. They heard a voice. Jirou—help had finally arrived, all they had to do was wait for the rescue team to fish them out. Jirou was one of them. She told them that everything was going to be okay, that they were coming, that things were a bit complicated with the way the building collapsed so they had to remove the rubble that covered them slowly and as carefully as possible. It was a waiting game that Todoroki wasn’t sure Sero could afford… Especially since Sero started shivering.

“R-Roki I’m okay j-just a little cold heh you were right this morning. I shudda worn an extra layer…”

“F-f-fuck no you’re not Sero! You’re going into shock,” Todoroki felt like crying. He had too keep Sero warm thankfully Sero was on Todoroki’s left side. Todoroki put his arm around Sero very very carefully and warmed him up with his left side.

“A-any better?” Todoroki said not feeling that much better himself.

“Much, th-thanks man.” Sero tried hard show Todoroki that he was ok but the reality was that Sero was slipping into shock and he was in an excruciating amount of pain.

~~~

It seemed like hours and Jirou had given them periodic updates but they still weren’t anywhere close to getting the two of them out and it was taking everything from both of them to not scream, cry or pass out, but even with all of this mess a single thought passed through their minds. ‘I need to tell him before I go.’

“Sero—we might die here and there’s, there is something I have to tell you.” Todoroki hated that he could barely talk without sounding like he was panting.

“Don’t.” Sero let out a humorless laugh, “I-I have to tell you something too a-and I think it’s the same th-thing, and i-if it is what I truly hope it is.” Sero lifted up his arm and stroked Todoroki’s cheek, “then please not now… not like this, pl-please not like this.” Sero choked back a sob. His eyes were both foggy and glossy. Foggy from what Todoroki from what he knew was shock and glossy from tears that had threatened to spill out this entire time. Sero was shaking each breath he took considerable effort, but he smiled anyway… that stupid beautiful smile.

“Besides, I-if we…” Sero swallowed, “if we say it now then h-heh you know one of us will definitely die and um the odds look like they’re more in my favor of dying than in yours.” Sero tried to laugh but ended up coughing again. Once Sero caught his breath he continued on meekly, “And if we die… what will have been the point?”

Todoroki could feel his lips quiver as silent tears streamed down his face. This wasn’t right... None of this was right.

Todoroki gazed upon Sero’s face, his watery eyes and then focused on Sero’s smile once more. That smile that all but destroyed him. Sero’s perfect, albeit weak brave smile. It took everything in Todoroki’s power to stop himself from sobbing outright as he felt nothing but fear. It looked like Todoroki would have to suffer the inevitable heartbreak that would come w-when Sero—when he…

Todoroki gritted his teeth, he waited too long. They waited too long, too fucking long. Sero was right Todoroki couldn’t say it definitely ‘not like this’ but he could do something…

Todoroki didn’t say a word when he leaned in and softly kissed Sero’s forehead, he just closed his eyes tightly.

“R-Roki?”

Todoroki leaned over palming Sero’s cheek; Sero realized what Todoroki intended so he leaned in as much as he could.

When their lips met they moaned they weren’t sure if it was from pain, fear or longing. The kiss was gentle at first—gentle but desperate it It wasn’t enough, nowhere near enough. So when Sero parted his lips Todoroki wasted no time deepening the kiss.

Their first kiss, it was perfect, and it would most likely be their last...

~~~~~

+1. The time they did.

They got out of the rubble.

Not unscathed, broken ribs, physical therapy, horrible injuries and hell mental health therapy not to mention all the paid leave they were forced to take. At first they were annoyed by it all, but later on? Well… it wasn’t that bad—even if they were on medical leave for the next 4 months. But then they realized how exhausted they were, how sore how scared and how much they were relieved just to take the time to spend with each other.

However… they still hadn’t talked about what they had been desperate to say during their little near death experience.

They both wanted to—so very very badly—but something about it almost felt like it hadn’t been real. They both felt like maybe it had all been just a dream… So they stood by for weeks and said nothing.

Sero felt a swell of sadness in his chest because even though he had held out all of this hope he felt like it was never going to happen… Meanwhile, Todoroki was on edge. Seeing Sero in what looked like his final moments was about more than he could take for a lifetime. He wanted to say something—anything—but it just felt all so fragile.

So instead they did what they had always done for the past 7 years. Said nothing, did nothing, smile and nod and pretend their feelings that ran do much deeper than friendship did not exist.

Until one day.

One ordinary boring day—halfway through their medical leave—they were stuck inside. It was raining and their joints ached so they gave up and settled on the couch.

“What will it be today?” Todoroki asked numbly. Why did he bother asking? That’s not what he wanted to talk about—that’s not what he wanted to do. He wanted to reach other and kiss Sero again. He wanted to hold him—cry to him just to make sure he was still there, still alive.

“I don’t know a comedy maybe? Heh, I think we’ve had enough devastation for the year, right?” Sero replied rubbing the back of his neck. Why couldn’t he just bring it up? He’s the one who told Todoroki “not now” when they were buried alive. He should be the one to bring it up right? If only he had some confidence, someway of knowing it wasn’t just a dream or Todoroki doing Sero a favor… a small comfort to a dying man. Fuck.

Todoroki had wanted to talk about it, about what happened down in the rubble but he was scared that maybe it was only because they were in a life and death situation… but then Todoroki looked at Sero and saw his discomfort. Todoroki realized he had to be the one to do it. Todoroki slowly moved his hand over placing it carefully on Sero’s knee. Todoroki didn’t miss Sero’s breath hitch when Todoroki let it rest there.

“Sero—H-Hanta?” Todoroki said, testing out Sero’s first name carefully.

“Y-yes?”

“Can you um look at me?”

Sero closed his eyes pausing before turning to face Todoroki, “H-Hey.”

“Hi, um if it’s alright—I would like to um continue the conversation we never finished when we were—when we were down there—in the rubble.” Todoroki took a beat, “Hanta I nearly lost you. I nearly lost you without ever telling you how much—how much I care about you. How sorry I am, and how I know mostly to blame for us having to wait for so long and I-I." Todoroki swallowed and clenched his jaw before continuing, “And yes, you’re okay now, but I nearly lost you Sero. I nearly lost you and you keep going on like nothing happened like we didn’t kiss like it didn’t matter—a-and it’s okay if it didn’t but Sero I—

Sero turned and cupped Todoroki’s cheeks in both hands and pressed his lips to Todoroki’s briefly before speaking, “I love you too, Roki. I have always loved you.”

They took a moment to look at each other—to really look at each other. They studied all of each other’s features and made out all the emotions etched behind them. There was some fear, there but also hope but above all there was so much love.

They kissed each other again but this time? It was different. It was feather light—soft—and even though they had waited so long… they didn’t want to rush it. They didn’t have to this time. It wasn’t desperate, it didn’t need to be, not like the way their first kiss was.

Because this time they knew, it wouldn’t even come close to being their last.

Fin.

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