#seriously the micro expressions from both actors in INCREDIBLE

[spineless-lobster]

I actually about to go insane!!!!! Upon rewatching the “I say, Havers” scene; I noticed that before he says the line about the operation, the Captain rapidly blinks and subtly shakes his head

The Captain actively thought about confessing to Havers, but he decided against it at the last moment. He was this close to saying something, and we can see those thoughts running through his head, but we can also see him repressing those thoughts

I… I need to lay down…

[itspileofgoodthings]

HI HELLO

Welcome to another installment of “Maria over-analyzes gifs and reylo micro-expressions” because over-analyzing, reylo, and micro-expressions are LITERALLY my favorite things on the planet. This over-analyzing is incredibly intense and microscopic so consider yourself warned. Let me invite you to not be weirded out though and just go with it! Life is short.

(I’d say this is the fault of quarantine and our fraught climate but it’s not. I’m always like this.)

Let us begin with this moment.

How. HOW. Is there this much happening in a gif?? Only because of these two amazing actors. What a blissful moment.

First of all there is Daisy’s smile—beautifully coinciding with her saying his name, like the smile and the name HAVE to go together. It’s such an open smile and it feels both full of an understated certainty—she says his name with such certainty—and such soft surprise. She! Is! So! Happy! Here! In a way she never demanded or saw coming!!

Secondly, her hand against his face. It’s hesitant and tentative and a little questioning and so incredibly gentle. She’s trying to process that he’s here, asking if it’s really him, if—after all this time—it means what she thinks it means. (IT DOES. KILL ME.)

Then there’s the expression on her face when the camera is on his face. Obviously you can’t see it full on but you can see her look down, like she can’t quite hold his gaze completely but then you can see her smile again when she looks back up. Rey...........doesn’t smile that often and here she literally can’t stop smiling. She can’t hold his gaze but she also can’t stop smiling. I love it.

Now moving on to his face. I can’t believe the way his face transforms between the moment when she’s not touching his face and the moment she is. His face absolutely alters at her touch, the previous intense love and concern suddenly suffused with happiness. If Rey rarely smiles, Ben has never up to this point looked happy AT ALL. And this moment is the moment when it really starts to wash over him like a wave. It’s still a little bit disbelieving—I feel like you can see him asking his own “is this real”—but he’s also welcoming in the moment and the happiness with his whole soul. It is. A lot. It is. SO MUCH. AHHHHHHH. I NEED A MINUTE OR SEVEN HOURS.

Also like, not to get overly detailed or weird about this—too late! It’s why I’m here!—but I love the way his eyes sort of rove over her face. It’s a look that we always have when we’re looking at something we love as intensely as we can, trying to take in every detail, trying to remember it. It’s a moment that has such hunger in it and I don’t mean just sexual desire. I mean I don’t not mean i guess, but it’s the purest, highest form of it. This moment shows you what that desire is in its purest form. And what it is is just. LOVE. Body and soul. Desire for the whole person. It’s the way it SHOULD be. I weep.

OKAY SO!! Rey can’t stop smiling here either!! And also looks down again!!! I just need to point that out!!!!! (Also I’ve read a lot of people say that they think she’s saying something here which maybe? That kind of makes sense! But I also think that she could really just be smiling and also trying to sort of deal with The Way He Is Looking At Her!!!!!!)

I love his expression here. It goes from the most peaceful tenderness—seriously Kinda wish I could freeze frame the very first second of this gif because he looks sooooo contented—to a SERIOUS face journey that I can only describe as love and intense worry??!?!? Like he’s definitely asking a question here and I actually don’t think it’s “can I kiss you?” as much as a cross between “are you sure you’re alright” and “do you know how much I love you?? do you know what you mean to me??” It is a LOT to handle, friends. A LOT.

Also wanna point out that these Two Looks are bridged by an almost smile??? He still hasn’t fully smiled but there’s a smile in the in-between moment of these two expressions that is a smile of friendship, almost, like he’s saying “can you believe we’re here and NOT trying to kill each other” and this might be a stretch—I say, on the post about analyzing facial expressions—it’s a little wry, in true solo fashion. His father’s son, indeed.

This is basically an extension of the same moment on his part so I will merely add that if I had to point out a different meaning in his expression from the last gif it would be that this one has maybe a touch more of fear, just that question that’s still on his mind that’s asking if he is actually good enough. (Love how the smile keeps trying to break through though.)

Now I Must point out three things happening with Rey!!

1) she looks down AGAIN! And yes I know that’s a pretty normal thing and that people don’t maintain unbroken eye contact all the time but also HE IS!! And it’s just cute that she’s still !! like!!! Trying to deal!!! Imagine being looked at like that. Can’t relate but seems both Fun and like A Lot To Deal With.

2) her hand is increasingly steadier against his face, not as floating, not as questioning as it was, more thoughtful, more clearly possessive

3) the smile is gone and that’s because she is Thinking About Kissing Him

Et voila!

Obviously Rey’s face is the Big Player Here. It is a beautiful moment of hesitance but not, I would like to point out, one where she’s asking “do I want to do this” but almost a practical hesitance, a kind of steeling herself moment, a “I’ve never done this/I have some tactical decisions to make” kind of moment. There IS still a touch of “do I want to do this” of course, and I love thinking about how this is an extension of her whole long arc of running from romance and running from him, that comes down to this tiny beat of hesitance but mostly this is a moment of gathering resolution and courage. ALSO now that I think about it she too has a moment like his that’s like “can’t believe I’m really doing this, who would have thought” in that flicker of a smile that crosses her face. This is Some quality acting. And THE BALANCE IT IMPLIES. AHHH.

Other things to note. Obviously it’s so important that 1) he stays so still until he’s fully certain she’s chosen it and 2) he rises to meet her kiss before it’s even fully there. I just. It means a lot to me on a character level and I WILL cry if I think about it and also i feel overwhelmed and shy about this moment and do not want to cheapen it with words so we are going to speed on to the next moment but not before I say that I love this kiss because it is, on the whole, quick and simple and decisive and understated. It’s a beautiful contrast to their whole journey up to this point, which is very long and lingering and slow in terms of gazes and Moments. This is just So Simple and Pure and Certain and it happens fast. Some movies (actors) would have overplayed the hesitance or newness of it but they don’t. Because they do know and love each other. And this IS right and I love that and I cry.

Skipping ahead to this moment because there are no faces to analyze (and gosh darn I have to give them some privacy and just let SOME moments be just theirs)

I love: Rey’s sigh of relief, her breathing out moment that breaks the kiss, her hand now firmly against his face, and also just literally how cute and young Daisy looks from the back. AHHHHHH. So pure.

Ben’s face here—man. It gets me. To be honest I think this is the saddest his face looks in the whole sequence. This IS a moment of sadness for him and I think you can see it. It is very pure though, detached from anger or any kind of selfishness. It is, as I have said many times, a moment of almost-teenaged starry-eyed softness and it is sad. It is almost thoughtful, a moment that is one of Taking In what just happened and what it means. And at the same time that I think this moment is teenaged—he looks SO young here—I also think you can kind of see a window into the man he is and also the husband he would have been as he got older and spent a lifetime with her. Yeah it’s okay. You can cry about that loss. I’m crying tbh. And maybe finally processing some of the grief of him losing the fullness of a human life. It IS a loss and a real one that he didn’t get to live for and even more importantly with her, that this is his first and last kiss with her and not the first of many. I think we can see that on his face here, see it in his eyes in this moment.

But here we are. (I’m going to start “backwards” and keeping going with Ben first bc it makes sense.) Ben in both true Solo fashion and true Ben fashion, doesn’t mourn long. Delight, full delight, that’s been brimming under the surface this entire scene but hasn’t quite broken through yet, breaks through here. It’s—look, poets have written about moments like these. If I were a poet, I’d write a sonnet on this moment but I’m not so let me flail about for a second anyway. It breaks over him like a wave and this moment isn’t just a smile, it’s a LAUGH. And it’s transformative. Chelsea (northgalis on Twitter I believe) wrote a stunning meta on this moment and what it means for him in terms of his whole journey, talking about how this is the moment where the spell breaks and the mask Ben has been wearing on his face fully shatters and we see The Boy he should have been and GOT TO BE here in all his beautiful, joyous glory. She broke the curse here; all suffering and tortured anxiety falls away in this moment.

And it is boyish!! When I first watched this moment I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe struck by how boyish he looks here! It isn’t what I expected; it took me by such beautiful surprise and I suppose it’s why in the end his death hurt me so much less than I thought it would. Because his story Is so deeply that of a boy and this is the Fullness of that, a moment he had that does make up for everything, for every kind of suffering. To me, a moment CAN recompense for a lifetime of sorrow. To me that is the secret of joy and of love. But now’s not the time for a meta on that—that’s part of an essay i need to write later and also I know it’s not why everyone is here.

Let’s get back to analyzing on a more technical level! Back to his smile.

I love the way Adam chose to play it. There is no danger of it being “cringey” because of the way he plays it—and on paper this really could have been. It’s the most Han-like moment to me. That almost reckless, almost cheeky, good-hearted joy. It’s a very skillfully played moment, just on a technical level. It’s High Difficulty and he pulls. It. Off. Is my point.

And Rey’s face. (Yes we’re still talking about the above gif. Let me add it again so you don’t have to scroll up.)

Rey’s face here is PERFECT TO ME. Truly a top five Rey/Daisy Ridley face moment for me. I love that her smile fades as his grows. I know some people found it odd or upsetting but I love it. They always hold each other in balance and this is no exception. She settles back into herself in this moment. She is so relieved that she kissed him and that it went okay, she’s relieved that her Arc of struggling against him over and!!!! in the beautiful give-and-take they never fail to display I think this is HER moment of processing loss. She looks at him with such tenderness here. Rey is not tender like Ben is; she certainly does not show it on her face in the same bleeding-heart, utterly open way he does. She’s so much quieter about it. But this breath of relief? This moment of grave stillness? That’s Rey saying that he is fully hers now. I love it so much.

And finally—my header. The Best Moment???? The BEST moment!! You can see the laugh even more here. His face is ALL LINES IN THIS MOMENT. Smile line, eye crinkles—I just can’t. He’s just utterly blissful here. I want to say he is grateful but that would feel like he was trying to be and he’s not!! There is no processing here, or trying. It has all sunk in—romance, Rey, the kiss, what this all means—and this is his response. Only joy. Nothing but joy. A life of pain and hurt and this is where he ends up. Yeah you better believe I’m crying!!!

Also let me point out. Rey does NOT break the gaze here—and Ben does. The BALANCE. Always the balance. KILL ME. What I love about this moment is that it IS Rey’s moment “to look at him and love him” and let those moments be the same thing. (cc: match) She is looking at him here Unflinchingly with none of her earlier shyness or embarrassment and how right it is that we don’t get to see it. Rey, always private, always quiet, has always loved Ben where we can’t quite see it, in the deepest, most private corners of her heart. But he can feel it and he can see it and that’s really all that matters in the end.

My final, final, final thought is that I love her hand against his face here, gently proprietary, I believe I once called it. It is her way of treasuring him, memorizing his smile and this moment forever and it also says “Reader, he’s mine. I married him.”

And between the first gif in this set and the last, she did.

Thanks for reading!

*credit to @benandreykissed​ for the beautiful gifs! 

[oceangenasi]

D&P and Merther for the shipping ask game???

Yax I would die for you except you’d probably stop me from dying with your EMT wizardry and then where would we be

🖤 D/P 💙

1. What made you ship it? I have eyes? But seriously, I like to joke about how my ships are either softboys and their badass women or queerbait m/m angst.... and then there’s this shining exception. A canon m/m ship that gets a love story and a happy ending :’’’) I started watching the show very casually, knowing David was queer but not that D/P was endgame and then the next thing I knew I had ascended to another plane of existence

2. What are your favorite things about the ship? I am never not thinking about the Dynamic... it’s the complementary aspects of their personalities for me!

You’ve got David: flamboyantly queer and deeply dramatic, who’s had intense emotions his whole life that have scared people away but he’s also brave and unique and creative and wonderful. He’s everything that Patrick didn’t know he needed. He’s been hurt a lot of times and he almost doesn’t believe that he’s capable of being loved so wholly and completely. Enter Patrick.

Patrick is so straight-laced and repressed and invested in being well-liked that he had built up a whole seemingly perfect life that was making him deeply unhappy. I don’t think that even Patrick knew he was capable of loving David the way he does, because he hadn’t cast off his old life and gone on that emotional journey until he met David. His “you make me feel right” speech is my favorite bit of the entire show. Patrick found himself in finding David.

They balance each other: Patrick grounds David, providing him the unconditional love that David can flourish with, and David brings beauty and color into Patrick’s life.

I also adore how much casual intimacy they get on screen, all the kisses and shoulder touches. It’s incredibly healing to watch after so much queer angst and suffering, when we get representation at all.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Yeah, Patrick’s not perfect. I get very pissy when people trash David for his actions surrounding the barbecue and/or the wedding and imply he was being unfair/selfish -- because even if he was, Patrick has a responsibility to communicate his concerns if he wants David to respond to them. Patrick has a tendency to avoid/repress his feelings and that can be incredibly damaging in a relationship if not addressed. David can’t read Patrick’s mind, nor should he be expected to. He doesn’t need to magically intuit Patrick’s distress from Patrick’s micro-expressions or whatever the fuck -- Patrick needs to step up and tell David when he doesn’t like David’s behavior. Yes, I’m projecting like hell when it comes to this but it is something that made me furious during season 6 and the discourse surrounding it.

------------

💙 Merthur ❤

1. What made you ship it? I watched the first episode and was like “oh wow this show is even gayer than I’d heard it was.” No but seriously... fellas, is it gay to be literally and canonically someone’s other half? Fellas, is it gay to stare intensely into each other’s eyes at every given opportunity? Fellas, it is gay to dedicate your entire life to serving and protecting someone? Fellas, is it--

2. What are your favorite things about the ship? ah jeez where do I even start... Arthur is Merlin’s whole world. Merlin’s magic is “only for Arthur” and Merlin’s magic is... everything he is. I literally don’t know how you could read that as Merlin not being in love with Arthur. I genuinely and honestly think this interpretation is backed up by commentary by the actors and writers: Merlin loves Arthur, and that’s not even a point of debate. I adore Merlin as a character (son boy baby sweetheart sunshine child) and his unwavering faith in Arthur, his dedication, his tenderness, the years spent protecting someone who didn’t even know how much Merlin had done for him.... it gets me good.

And then there’s what Merlin is to Arthur! Setting aside the stuff Arthur doesn’t know about, which I will talk about in a moment, Merlin is possibly the only person in Arthur’s life who has always, always treated him as a person first and a prince second. Merlin’s unwavering faith and freely given friendship are because he sees the best in Arthur, not because of Arthur’s hereditary right to the throne. Merlin is Arthur’s first and truest friend -- I know the knights and Gwen care for him, but there is a component of social discrepancy to their relationship that Merlin simply has ignored. Merlin’s disrespect is because he fundamentally views Arthur as his equal, which is a gift Arthur didn’t even know he needed. Arthur was touch-starved, emotionally repressed, and incredibly lonely before Merlin came into his life. (Yes, the similarities between my two OTPs are well-known to me.) Just because Arthur struggles to express his emotions (thanks, Uther) and doesn’t have the same plot opportunities as Merlin to show how much he’d sacrifice for Merlin, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Merlin as deeply as Merlin does him. This is why I like writing Arthur POV so much -- I like describing how fundamental and immutable a concept Merlin is to him. He takes Merlin for granted, yes, because there is literally nobody else that he is so vulnerable around or trusts so completely. This is why the magic reveal was so temporarily devastating to Arthur -- it broke something he’d built his entire life around. Or at least, that’s what he thought.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Canon is a trash fire and I hate a lot of things about season 5, because it had some stellar opportunities that got rushed and squished by the way they timed the plot.... but I actually really, really like the finale. I think that considering what they’d done with the plot up to that point, it was brilliantly executed and gorgeously acted. There wasn’t enough time to do everything I would have liked with the magic reveal*, but in the last episode they hit every one of my buttons at least once. Arthur witnessing a competent Merlin, Arthur experiencing realistic grief and anger but being able to see how deeply Merlin loves him... Setting aside the plotholes and the timing, the people who made the show realized what was critically important in the finale, and it was digging deep into the relationship between Merlin and Arthur. This is why it completely and totally wrecks me, incidentally, and why I can’t watch the last part of the episode because it actually unhinges me too much. I’m not joking, I went into some kind of grief spiral the first time I saw it that took me a literal week to recover from. I care about things too much and feel my feelings too intensely, but we been knew.

Oh, and an even spicier opinion on later seasons/the finale: I don’t think that Morgana “isn’t really evil” or that her fall was “unnecessary.” I think that Morgana was indeed capable of being a fiercely good and loving person, but I also think that people with the kind of anger she carries can be dragged into some very dark places. I don’t think it was unrealistic, I think it was painful to watch, and there’s a difference. She didn’t get the support she needed -- she was gaslighted, manipulated, and tortured -- and I think that the same person who could be good in another situation is absolutely capable of becoming monstrous, considering the hand she was dealt. I have very similar opinions on her as I do on Anakin Skywalker, which is to say: her evil was both believable and tragic. She was a product of her circumstances, but her actions are not excusable, and she is responsible for how she responded to her trauma.

*I can and will read every damn magic reveal on ao3 because it’s really important to me that Arthur understand what Merlin has done for him. Truly, truly conceptualizes how crucial Merlin has been in helping him build his kingdom. That’s the one thing that I wanted to see so badly that never happened in canon.

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: The one where Komaeda is the producer for a terrible movie, Enoshima is the worst kind of celebrity, and Hinata is just a stuntman for Kamukura.

Author: @serahne-is-here

For: @ask-the-sakamaki

Rating/Warnings: Some swearing, but that’s it

Prompt: AU ! ( I picked a ‘Actors AU’ even if technically neither Komaeda nor Hinata are actors )

Author’s notes: I didn’t write in english in ages, so I really hope you enjoy it <3

“And… cut !” declared Director Kirigiri, holding firmly her bullhorn with two hands.

As soon as the magic word was spoken, relief flooded the studio, as everyone on set felt allowed to relax, if only for just a little while. It was a stressful - and yet, pretty normal - day in Hope’s Peak Studio : one scene down, two to go.

“Sonia, it was your best take, we keep it. Izuru, stunning as usual,” offered Kirigiri off-handedly, before standing up and starting to stretch, arms behind her back. “Let’s take a thirty minute break, and then we move on to the Waterfalls. Please tell the stuntmen they need to go get dressed, we miraculously managed to be on time for today, let’s try to keep it that way.”

Everyone in the studio mumbled in agreement, before they dispersed themselves around the room, in a chaotic, yet very organized fashion. From where he was standing, just a few feets behind the camera crew, Hinata was perfectly well-placed to admire how everyone in this creative hive was buzzing around, in a dance that they all knew by heart. It was, after all, their sixt day of filming Dreams of Future, and they knew their roles and lines as well as the actors did.

Koizumi, Kirigiri’s assistant, bounced toward Sonia and started praising her, at such speed that Hinata couldn’t understand half of it. Kamukura looked around, his eternal bored expression carved in his face at this point, before he disappeared inside his lodge. Slowly, as would a heavy animal migrating for winter, cameras and micros started to move to the Waterfalls set.

Hinata was about to go and get dressed - Kirigiri had been really adamant stuntmen shouldn’t be late, and he wasn’t about to make a bad impression to the studio owner’s daughter - when, from behind him, came a voice he only knew too well.

“What did you think of the show, Hinata ? Absolutely splendid, was it not ?”

Hinata turned around, frowning, and his eyes immediately found the voice’s owner : Nagito Komaeda, main producer for the movie, and all around one of the most unpleasant person he had ever met. Which wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t also one of the most attractive person he had ever met.

Both of these things sent mixed messages to Hinata’s brain, and it tended to just shortcut whenever Komaeda was nearby.

“I guess,” he replied, making sure that his eyes didn’t linger too long on the other - over his dead body would he be caught staring at Komaeda. “Sonia is really talented. Her role might be small, but she is nailing it.”

She really was. Sonia Nevermind was an european actress, looking to make herself a name in Japan. Beyond her eccentric personality, typical of foreigners, she was also incredibly sweet, humble, and hard-working, which was more than could be said for most actors than Hinata had worked with.

Komaeda huffed at Hinata’s reply, a sound that made him both incredibly adorable and punchable at the same time. As he said : mixed signals.

“Only Miss Nevermind ?” he noticed, amused. “I see that your jealousy over Kamukura’s incredible success is alive and well. How awful of you.”

“I’m not jealous of Kamukura,” said Hinata, gritting his teeth. “Why would I be ? He has the emotional range of a vacuum cleaner. A four-year old emote more in a minute than he does in a year.”

Komaeda hummed quietly. “That might be so. But we both know you couldn’t care less about anyone’s acting skill. Actually, if you truly think so low of his skills, his popularity must be even more insufferable to you, right ?”

“Will you shut up ?” Hinata mumbled back, 

Hinata shook his head. Kamukura’s success in the filming industry was the most bewildering thing for him. The guy didn’t act. He wasn’t even bad at it, he just didn't try. All he did was wearing the same bored, vaguely annoyed expression, movie after movie. And for some reasons, critics loved him, praised him for his ‘original take’ on his roles, and promised him a glorious career.

This was ridiculous.

“Don’t be so bitter, Hinata,” the white-haired man calmly smiled at him. “The truth is, even if Kamukura wasn’t as talented as he is, it wouldn’t make you more popular. These studios are full of nobodies thinking they can become somebody. This is admirable, but useless, for most of them. In a way, I think you should be proud of your achievement : at your own level, you are helping our stars to shine, in their creative processes. A wonderful stepping stone for the glorious people blessed with talent.”

Hinata narrowed his eyes. Back when he first met Komaeda, this kind of insult would have made his skin crawl, and he would have breathlessly argued with the other. But he had eventually realized that no amount of arguing would change his mind. And he had to be on set in twenty-two minutes.

“Great talk, but I have to go and get in costume. And them I guess I’ll throw myself from the top of the Waterfalls, if Enoshima acts her usual self.”

“That sounds lovely !” Komaeda clapped his hands, excitedly. “I wish I could come with you, but alas, I have to talk to Kirigiri before the next scene begins. Though I won’t leave without saying goodbye, of course.”

Hinata sighed, a smile working his way up to his lips, despite his annoyance.

“Sounds good.”

*

Stunts weren’t Hinata’s first choice of career, of course. He had always dreamed of being an actor, ever since he was a starry-eyed kid, whose nonsensical babbling wasn’t taken seriously by the adults around him. This dream had stuck with him, up until adulthood, when he had finally found out how impossible it was to get roles when one didn’t have any contact in the industry.

One year ago, when Hope’s Peak Studios had called him, telling them that he had the ‘perfect body type’ to play Izuru Kamukura’s double, the offer has been too tempting to refuse. It was finally his chance to meet people who could help him grow as a true actor.

That hasn’t been the case, so far. His work was spotless, and he was regularly called back by the Studios - who was even ready to discuss his fees from movie to movie - but always as a stuntman, and most of the time for Kamukura. It wasn’t the worst job in the world, he was being paid more than most people working in the Studios - he was putting his body on the line, after all - but… if anything, being so close to his dream, without being able to live it was his own personal hell.

Something was missing. And maybe Komaeda was right, and it was the popularity, and the spotlight, and the journalists begging you for interview, and the expensive gifts, and all this superficial stuff that society told him to adore and reject, all at once. But, Hinata knew, it was more than that. It wouldn’t have hurt that much if it was only that.

He did want to be an actor, and a part of him had always thought he would end up being one. As a child, he had wanted to be a samurai, a cowboy, a wizard, an adventurer, an astronaut, and has soon realized that only one job would allow him to be all that - and even more - at once.

Being an actor was to live a thousand lives. And maybe it was worth wasting the only one he had over it.

*

It was four hours later, and nothing was going well. Everyone was on the Waterfall set, which was pretty awful in itself - everything looked really fake, and Hinata knew everything would be corrected in post-production but still it was barely better than a green screen at that point.

Everyone was exhausted, Kirigiri was on her four coffee cup, and Kamukura seemed almost in a dissociative state with how much he seemed to care about his surroundings.

Of course, it was all Enoshima’s fault. She was objectively one of the biggest star in Japan, and everyone knew that her being in the movie would guarantee some kind of success. She was also a terrible human being, who enjoyed nothing more than to reduce to tears her assistants.

“This is what you call a macchiato ?” She spat to the poor girl’s face, who was already quivering in fear. “I could piss in a cup and it would taste better than that. Are you trying to poison me ?”

“I can’t believe you accepted to hire her,” Hinata mumbled to Komaeda’s attention, as they were both looking at the scene with consternation. “She is not a bad actress, but she is not worth the hassle. Sonia could play her part just as well.”

Komaeda looked at Hinata, all wide-eyed and pink-cheeked, and it was really infuriating how pretty he looked after so many hours of being stuck in the Waterfall set with the entire film crew. Hinata was sure that he looked like a mess, even after he took off the heavy wig he wore when he incarnated Kamukura.

Seeing how things were going, he wouldn’t have to save Junko’s ass from a well-deserved fall to death before ten o’clock, anyway. And only if Kirigiri didn’t give up and call it a day until then.

“I’m not taking any creative decision,” Komaeda replied with a shrug. “I wasn’t the one who asked for Enoshima. I’m not sure who did, to be completely honest.”

“Someone who doesn’t have to spend hours with her everyday,” guessed Hinata, grimacing when he saw Enoshima’s assistant run away, probably in order to get another coffee. “I never thought she was that good of an actress. Did you ?”

Komaeda hummed noncommittally but didn’t add anything, which, considering his habit to wax poetry about every actor in the Studios, definitely meant he was agreeing with him. Hinata weirdly felt vindicated by that.

“She will attract a different audience,” explained Komaeda. “She is very popular with teenage girls, and straight males. Since I’m neither I might not be the best person to judge of her appeal.”

They both fell silent, looking at Kirigiri and Enoshima’s argument about a specific line that Enoshima wanted to change in the script, and Hinata took the time to file the information he had just received from Komaeda, just in case. 

“You could fire her,” Hinata suggested. “You’re putting the money, you get to decide, right ?”

Komaeda chuckled. “I’d rather leave the creative process to talented people, that’s better for everyone.”

“Wait,” Hinata replied. “You are talking as if you didn’t take any decision for the movies you are funding. That makes no sense.”

“That’s the case,” Komaeda shrugs. “I just give the money, and the Studios does the rest.”

“But this is ridiculous ! All your movies were success. All of them. Including the one that is entirely made in sign language. You have to… I don’t know.. influence some creative choices, right ?”

“Nope !” Komeada said, laughing. “You are confusing any kind of skill with pure luck, Hinata. I’m no different from someone who son the lottery.”

“Who won the lottery five times,” Hinata corrected. “You produced five movies. Six with this one, which will probably be an incredible success. I don’t know why because Kamukura can’t act, Enoshima is the worst, the script is terrible, and the set looks like it’s made in cardbox,” Hinata argued.

Komaeda fell silent, and looked away from Hinata.

“This is what you think ? Interesting.”

He didn’t have the time to say more, Kirigiri was calling him for his scene, and he had to put on his stupid, smelly wig and save Junko Enoshima from her death.

Sometimes his life sounded like a joke.

*

“And… cut !”

Hinata almost cried in relief, throwing his wig on the floor - almost hoped it would fall in the water, but since the waterfall wasn’t really one, it wouldn’t make this horrendous thing disappear. It was finally over. The crew was given a day off, and the express command to rest during that day, as everyone looked dead on their feet. Every scene with Enoshima had been filmed though, so the rest would probably be a piece of cake.

He was surprised to see Komaeda still lounging around, as exhausted as the rest of them were.

“You’re still there ?” Hinata asked him. “How surprising.”

“It really is,” Komaeda yawned, hand in front of his mouth. He was always so proper. “I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Shoot,” Hinata replied

“Let’s walk.”

Komaeda started to drift away from the crowd, getting closer to the waterfall.

“Uh, sure ?” Hinata said, following him, a few steps behind. “I kinda want to go home, at some point ? And, you know, sleep until friday morning, or until I’m dead may-”

“Why didn’t you ask me to star in one of my movies ?” Komaeda cut him off, very seriously.

“What ?” Hinata asked, caught off-guard. “Where the hell does that come from ?”

“Komaeda tilted his head on the side, curious. “You seem to think that I have some sort of curse, that makes all the movies I’m producing highly-successful. You are wrong, as I was only lucky, but if that is what you think, and if you truly want to become an actor in the future, why didn’t you ask for a part in one of my movies ?”

Hinata blinked. Truth was, he didn’t consider Komaeda as a ‘contact in the industry’. He was unpleasant, rude at the time, unwillingly hilarious, and Hinata enjoyed spending time with him, more than he would admit it. He didn’t want to… use his relationship ( whatever it was ) with Komaeda to further his career

God, he was never going to be an actor at this rate, right ?

“I didn’t want to owe you anything.” He settled for something that sounded vaguely honest.

“Well, aren’t you a prideful nobody,” Komaeda huffed.

But he was smiling too. And Hinata felt like he had done something right, in this whole mess. Without thinking, he took a few steps in the other’s direction, until he was so close he could see every nuance of green inside Komaeda’s eyes, and noticed how the other’s eyes fell on his lips. They were… as alone as they had ever been.

“I…” started Hinata, without any idea what he was going to say.

But he didn’t have to rack his brain for anything, as suddenly, previsibly, a chunk of the so-cheap-it-was-probably-carbox set cracked under Komaeda’s feet. Hinata saw his eyes widen comically, his mouth open in a silent scream of surprise, and the next instant, he was plunging toward the ground, five meters under them.

Hinata reacted in half-a-second, and caught Komaeda’s wrist as a reflex, and didn’t let go even when he heard the characteristic crack of a broken bone. He almost let go, though, when he heard Komaeda laugh breathlessly.

“See, Hinata ?” His laugh was borderline hysterical. “Am I not the luckiest person alive ?”

“You broke your fucking wrist, Komaeda,” he replied.

*

As predicted, Dream of Future was a huge success. It might or not have been because Enoshima created a huge scandal by pretending being pregnant with Kirigiri’s husband’s child, and then claiming that she would kill herself if he didn’t recognize the baby. Sure, critics tore the movie appart, as it was objectively a pile of burning trash, but everyone wanted a taste of the scandal, as short-lived as it was.

All in all, Hinata was happy to only be a stuntman in this whole affair.

Maybe not wanting to be in one of Komaeda’s movie wasn’t that stupid of an idea.

[overthinkingkdrama]

Can you explain to me what makes IU a good actress in your eyes? I like her but I’m also really trying to understand why everyone’s praising her to the skies after My Mister. My favorite performance from her is actually in Producers, where I thought she stole the show from the other leads. But Ji Eun in My Mister always just has this one same steely look, and in gifs of the show I feel this one-dimensionality becomes very obvious: I couldn’t tell if she was feeling angry, or sad, or numb, etc.

(Continuing from my last ask about IU’s acting): the same with Man Wol in HDL. She does all the right expressions, and they’re all quite convincing, but I never feel like they go beyond the surface. Maybe she’s just not good at micro-expressions and that’s what I’m having trouble with? I hope you don’t mind this ask. I’m not ratting on her because I genuinely enjoy her shows and especially loved her in Producers, but I am struggling to understand the sudden love for her acting post HDL.

(More on IU): compare her with someone like, say, Han Ye-ri, or Esom, or PMY, who all have these really expressive embodiments of their respective characters, and the difference becomes quite stark, I feel.

***

Let me start off by saying that I don’t pretend to have any expertise in the subject of acting. I both praise and criticize it as an amateur and a layman. I just know what works for me and what doesn’t work for me. So when you ask me this question, understand that for me the measure of what makes someone a good actor or a bad actor will always, by necessity, have an huge element of subjectivity to it. What is good or bad is going to be largely in the eye of the beholder. And so when I answer you it’s going to be on the basis of my subjective opinion and my experience following Lee Ji Eun’s acting consistently through 5 different projects since 2015.

That being said, there has been a dramatic turn around in the general fandom response to IU’s acting in the past two years, and that’s not by accident. She’s been involved in some high profile projects (My Mister, Persona, and most recently HDL) that have allowed her to showcase different aspects of her talent and demonstrate a distinct progression in her technical abilities and people are sitting up to take notice.

Three years ago I was interacting with posts on tumblr about her lead role in Scarlet Heart Ryeo, where both Knetz and English speaking drama fans were claiming that she was single-handedly ruining the show for them. That she only had one, saucer-eyed expression and that she wasn’t able to keep up with her more seasoned male costars.  Now that she’s in the fandom’s good graces they like to forget, but the vitriol (which female idols in general still frequently face, btw) was nearly constant at that time. I wholehearted disagreed with her critics then, and I disagree with them now.

I had first become aware of IU while watching Producers, which was also the first drama I ever watched as it was airing in the days of Dramafever. I was completely enamored with her portrayal of Cindy and I, like you, thought she completely stole the show, despite coming into the drama as a fan of her costars. From then on, I’ve been a fan of her as an actor and I’ve enjoyed all of her subsequent projects to greater or lesser degrees.

My Mister was the turning point in her career.  I’m on the record on tumblr as saying that My Mister is my favorite Kdrama. Ji An is my tumblr icon. I’ve made my partiality no secret. And for me, the reason should be obvious. The drama was controversial but it was also a huge critical success, with a beloved, veteran director at the helm, and I think it made people change their preconceptions about her. If she is being praised for HDL, then I would credit My Mister as the reason. People went from dismissing her out of hand as another singer who made a mediocre actress, to hailing her as one of the best idol actors out there.

If you can’t see why, or you think her performance in that drama is “one-dimensional” then a reply from me is probably not going to convince you otherwise. However, I have to ask due to the way you’ve phrased the question about My Mister in particular: Have you actually watched the drama, or are you only familiar with it from social media and gifs? Because if it’s the later, I can see why you might have formed this opinion. My Mister is an incredibly restrained drama, and the characters in general but Ji An specifically, carry a lot of trauma and emotion beneath the surface and are very reluctant to give anything away lest they be viewed as weak by others. If it’s the former, and you have seen the drama, then I don’t know how you can say, in all sincerity, the performance is one-dimensional or that Ji An only has one expression.

Certainly, Ji An is a very “steely” character.  But that’s because she lives her life on a knife’s edge. When we meet her it’s like she’s already dead, living in despair, trapped in a situation that she can’t see a way out of and perhaps on some level she doesn’t thinks she deserves to escape from. She slowly, very slowly, comes back to life over the course of the drama. That’s is how she is written. I would go further and say that is probably how IU was directed to play her (an actor isn’t an island, the director has a lot of say too in what they show and what they don’t.) I think there are many shades of subtlety in the performance, which cannot be captured by facial expressions alone. They come down to the timbre of her voice, the way she moves and holds herself, etc. Many of which can’t be captured in a gif sets or in stills. However to say that those expressions are the only things IU gets to show in the drama is simply disingenuous.

She gets to show the hard edges of disgust, fear, self-loathing, and cruelty. She also gets to show vulnerability, heartbreak, softness and remorse. She has explosive scenes, she has wrenching scenes, she has quiet scenes of grief and of gratitude.

(Couldn’t find exactly what I was looking for on tumblr so I grabbed these gifs off google images, credit to the gifmakers.)

I think she showcases them all. Maybe these emotions and they’re expression aren’t what you’re looking for in “good acting”. Perhaps there is another deficiency you are seeing that I’m not. Or maybe the way she shows these things isn’t loud enough, big enough or varied enough for your tastes. If that’s the case, then I don’t know what to tell you. Something about it isn’t striking a chord with you. It did for me. There’s really nothing I can do to change your mind.

However, I would venture to ask...did you have the same criticism for Lee Sun Kyun? His character is hardly so expressive that what you’ve said about Ji An couldn’t just as easily apply to Dong Hoon. I’ll go so far as to posit what you might be having a problem with in My Mister is the direction and not the acting.

As far as your critique on HDL that she “does all the right expressions, and they’re all quite convincing, but I never feel like they go beyond the surface” I’m not sure what to tell you. If she does all the right expressions AND they are convincing then how can you say they don’t beyond the surface? If they don’t go beyond the surface, then aren’t what you really saying is they aren’t convincing? At least to you? It could just be that you’re not connecting with her character for one reason or another, or maybe some of the idiosyncrasies of IU’s acting style just don’t connect with you. Maybe this is just a “different strokes for different folks” issue.

I, for one, do not enjoy Suzy’s acting. I think she’s perfectly serviceable as an actor, and she’s improved in recent projects. Even so, she never works for me especially in crying scenes. And kind of like with what you’ve said above, I think she makes the right expressions at the right times, but something about it rings false for me. And I’ve watched enough of her stuff at this point to be certain it wasn’t a one off.

But when it comes down to comparing one actor to another, or IU specifically to some of the actors you’ve mentioned, again I can only plead subjectivity. Different actors bring different strengths to their projects, and some projects require different things of their actors. I could sit here and dither with you about Han Ye Ri (who I think is the best out of the three you’ve mentioned above, and the most similar to IU in the characters she picks and how she plays them) and her different characters, but it would only be a wheel spinning exercise since we’re never going to have an exact one-to-one comparison between people.

To summarize, I believe you when you say you sent this ask in good faith. And I did my best to answer you, though I’m afraid you may not find my analysis very satisfying. This isn’t a subject I can approach with a lot of objectivity, because IU is one of my favorites and like I said, I’m just an amateur critic. If you’re noticing a lot of love and praise post HDL, I think it’s probably a result of the boost she got from My Mister and not as much because of her current drama on its own. Although I think she’s continuing to demonstrate that she knows what she’s doing and her turns in My Mister or Producers or Persona weren’t just a fluke.

Don’t feel like you have to like something just because other people are telling you it’s good. And don’t feel like you have to criticize something because it’s suddenly grown in popularity in a way you didn’t expect. Don’t take all of this too seriously, and try to enjoy yourself out there. That’s all any of us are trying to do, and I think it’s easy to lose sight of that.

Sorry for the long reply. Thank you for the ask.

Jona

[maydei]

What is it about Hannibal (the show + person) and his relationship with will that you absolutely love about? They do seem like an interesting couple (I haven’t seen the movie so I cannot relate much) but what about them? I genuinely curious and am interested with your thoughts and opinions.

Hi Anon!! This is a really big question, but I’ll do my best to answer it. I’m definitely gonna put most of this under a cut, because it got really, really long.

First of all, the relationship that I love in regards to the Will//Hannibal dynamic comes from the TV show Hannibal, which was written by Bryan Fuller and ran on NBC from 2013-2015. It was an extraordinarily unique and in-depth take on the Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham friendship that was based on the books, insofar that Will Graham was one of the few who deeply understood Hannibal Lecter prior to the revelation that he was a cannibal. Of course, Bryan took that concept several steps further.

My first suggestion? If you can stomach any kind of horror or gore, watch Hannibal. It is without a doubt the best television show I’ve ever seen, if only because it is visually beautiful, every character is complex and has clearly outlined motivations of their own, and is a really deeply intellectual piece of media. It’s not an easy watch, and I don’t mean that because of content. The story itself, the character drives, even the dialogue will challenge you. It’s not something you just sit down and understand, it really did take a lot of work for me to grasp the full spectrum of what was going on at any given time during my first watch. I’d never encountered something that pushed me that hard before, and even with a week between episodes or more (since I watched when it was originally airing), I was often left like ?????. Think of it like Black Mirror, except every episode is tied together. It’s gonna screw with you a little, so you’ll want to be prepared. 

The thing other than the fantastic writing that brings this show and these characters to life: the actors. Mads Mikkelsen as Hannibal Lecter presents a character that you better not take your eyes off even once. Hannibal says things so smoothly and with such conviction, but it’s only if you watch his face at all times that you will see the micro-expressions of what he is actually thinking and feeling. There’s a reason he’s often referred to as the Devil, as smoke. 

Hugh Dancy as Will Graham presents a man who is haunted by his own desires from empathizing too closely with killers. He can feel what murderers feel, and that gives him a unique perspective. He puts himself inside their minds to recreate their thought processes as they kill, and that gets to him. It haunts him, and sticks with him. It puts him in the position of needing someone to help him find his way back to himself when he gets in too deep.

It’s such a unique dynamic. I really couldn’t tear myself away. And that’s only where their story begins.

It starts as a sense of curiosity. Hannibal by nature and necessity is a solitary creature, and he has been pretty damn happy that way. When Jack Crawford asks him to profile Will Graham and clear him for field work, it is a unique opportunity for him as an already-established killer to see inside the workings of the FBI. That’s advantageous for him, of course. He can then keep tabs on the investigation against him. But in the process, he discovers Will, who thinks like a killer. Will, who has forcibly shoved his own personality into a very safe box of isolation and rescued dogs and fly fishing, things that require control and perfection. Will uses these constructs as shields to keep the darkness inside him at bay. He absorbs killers to gain their insights, but once they are inside, he has a really hard time getting rid of them. 

It may seem backwards, but despite Hannibal meeting other killers who are very much like him, he ultimately rejects them because he doesn’t want someone exactly like himself. He wants Will because he is so incredibly human, but trying so hard to restrain his own darkness. What Hannibal wants above all is to set him free, come hell or high water. And fundamental transformations can be exquisitely painful, even in their beauty. Hannibal wants to see what will happen.

The Hannibal/Will relationship doesn’t stay stagnant, ever. There is a constantly shifting dynamic of power once we reach S2 and Will is aware of Hannibal’s nature. Will puts himself in a position to learn more about Hannibal, and in doing so, finds himself feeling the pull that Hannibal described, discovering the ways in which they are so alike. And the tension in these scenes is indescribable. If you’ve seen any of the gifsets I’ve reblogged, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Every molecule of space between them is charged with intent. Every word is carefully weighted. Every glance is measured to not be too soon or too late, hoping to glimpse beneath the other’s veneer of civility and see the creature inside. They are so cruel to each other as they learn one another, but in their cruelty, they push each other to higher heights, and the friendship never quite fractures. 

In a word, they get close. There are moments standing in firelight and shadow, genuine smiles shared, tension that builds and grows until every inch of darkness between them is thick with it. Flirtatious glances. Familiar, intimate touches that hold such rich subtext. They understand each other like no one else does. They stand on the very edge of becoming something more, becoming family, when everything collapses, and they are both devastated by it.

Their relationship is the very definition of “can’t live with him, can’t live without him”. They are described by others as being “identically different”, as being “nakama [friends, but more like… family. like a group of people tied together by life and circumstance who would not easily be broken apart]”. 

Hannibal’s revelation of love for Will Graham comes in their separation. It hits him like a train, to be honest. It’s the first time the viewer realizes that underneath the very polite and elegant and put-together man that covers the vicious killer, he really does crave companionship. Even in his solitary life, Hannibal has never been actually solitary. He fills the gaps in with friends and acquaintances, people he cares for to an extent, but mostly people he uses for their advantageous nature. Will is the first person who really sees Hannibal down to his bones, and the loss of him, and the loss of their mutual potential, deeply wounds him. 

Like. I can’t even fully explain all the things about these characters that get to me. I think the thing I like most is that, even as a serial killer, Hannibal is still so very human. He finds pleasure in art and architecture. He enjoys history and philosophy and educational pursuits. He’s a talented artist and musician and chef. He gets annoyed by rude people the same as the rest of us. The main difference is that he eats them. 

This show is visceral. It’s a game of cat and mouse, a chessboard of intellectual bad decisions, but every choice is born from emotional need. And the best thing about it is that Bryan Fuller fully accepts, welcomes, and acknowledges the love between Hannibal and Will canonically in the show. Not just “haha that’s gay” jokes. Everyone else can see it. Everyone has some sort of parting shot about it. But in the end, even Will is faced with the point-blank realization that, yes, Hannibal is in love with him, and has the question turned back on him: but do you ache for him?

By the end, there is no doubt that the call has been heard, and the draw between them culminates in what Hannibal has really desired all along: he and Will hunting together, fighting together. Achilles and Patroclus, as they have been described by Hannibal himself. 

This show is a masterpiece, honestly. It unfolds the confines of civility and sees predators set free. It sees them together, reunited. It sees them in love. It sees them from beginning to end, where even the end is not really the end. 

I dearly, desperately hope for a season four of this show. I’m comforted by the fact that all the writers, producers, and actors have voiced their support of doing so, if they can find a production company to pick them up and get the rights of the other Hannibal characters [re: SotL] the way Bryan desires.

The fandom is incredible. Everyone is a little bit older than my prior fandoms, and people tend to be well-seasoned to the concept of reading what they enjoy and silently passing over things that are not to their tastes. There’s… not really any fighting the way there is in other fandoms. Those who disagree have civilized discussions, because the first and foremost rule of the fandom is the first and foremost rule of understanding Hannibal Lecter: “Whenever possible, one should always try to eat the rude.” 

And the fandom is alive!! It’s actively creating new art and new gifsets and new fics and new everything every day, and not on a small scale, either. There are thousands of people still out here eagerly awaiting the revival of a truly groundbreaking show that showcased LGBT relationships (not just Hannibal and Will, mind you. Margot/Alana is real and alive and nourishes my soul to this day), a diverse cast, riveting and powerful female characters, and the kind of plotline and visual storytelling that the ancients would weep if they could see. 

TLDR:  I love this fandom. I love these characters. I love these monsters, and I see myself inside them in ways that is absolutely concerning to polite society. I love the imagery, the depth of morality. I love that it’s feasible for me to write a fic in which the characters can love each other and are constantly working around one another to achieve their own ends, and that every fic I read by everyone else has a different insight to their relationship. That every fic I read is a fucking masterpiece, seriously, oh my god, the quality of fiction in this fandom is so high, it’s amazing. 

Join us, Anon. The Atlantic is a little chilly this time of year, but you’ll get used to it, I promise.