#seriously guys stop i get these so often and everytime i explain that i dont them

[e-luxion]

hi! big fan of your work! may u do a compatibility reading with my chart with enhypen, 127, and dream? preferrably a MTL? thank uu (cancer sun, cap moon, gemini merc, cancer mars, leo venus, and scorpio asc) ,, thank u for all ur hardwork! <33

Hi! If you were a big fan of my work, you'd see that in my very last post, i talk about not doing compatability questions like this 🤗 thank you and have a nice day/evening

[shuatoyou]

one last summer - l.c

[day 38 of a tct summer collection]

✗ pairing; chan x reader

✗ genre; fluffy fluff and angsty angst :p

✗ wc; 3900

✗ summary; each day is spent counting down until the end of summer, you do this every year but this time around, its harder to watch the days go down knowing once the count hits zero, its time for him to go.

✗ song; pink skies by LANY <3 

✗ a/n; i cant believe this is my longest fic yet ?? i hope u guys like it !! i chose to write for chan kinda on a whim bcos i dont do that a lot and he is just the best angel ... also i thought i should involve a little bit of my signature angst for my first writing collab with my best friends if u wanna see amazing stuff click below to travel to . . .

A TCT SUMMER COLLECTION *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

the alarm ringing at a time you would never find yourself awake during summer, it could only mean you had an important day to look forward to.

today was the beginning of the countdown to the last day of the last summer you had together.

“chan, wake up,” you mumble sleepily at the boy, who was in a deep sleep at the foot of your bed. he scrambled about for a second before going completely still. of course he was back asleep.

you groan at the sight of him cuddling into the blanket, even more in spite of your attempt to wake yourself up and him at the same time. although, it was cuter than you wanted to admit. perhaps your heart went slightly crazy... but that was another issue for another day. or never.

“fine don’t wake up loser, i’ll eat pancakes on my own.”

hearing that, he jumps straight up “i don’t think so.” he glares at you while you sit under the warm blankets amused at his reaction.. he sighs in defeat once he realises it was all a play for him to wake up. of course you wouldn’t indulge in a beautiful breakfast without him.

morning flies by, and before you know it noon comes around. the clock reads three pm and you’re both sprawled over the couch binging ‘a silent voice’ for the nth time. the entire movie makes you sad but after watching it so many times you become immune to the tears.

chan on the other hand, doesn't. like always he finds himself getting teary at the same scenes every time. perhaps that was one of the qualities you adored in him: he never hid how he felt even if he hated the teasing that came with it.

after deciding on a whim you didn’t want to waste the day inside, you switched off the tv and threw a box of tissues at the emotional boy.

“what was that for?” he whines, throwing the tissue box off him.

“wipe your tears. i wanna go out,” you smile cheekily before skipping off to get your shoes on, shortly followed by chan.

“we’re going out in sweats?” he questions, pointing at the lazy attire you had both become accustomed to everytime you were together.

you shrug, grabbing the keys off it’s special hanger. special because it was made by chan himself when you were both in the second grade and making matching key hangers for each other's houses was sentimental you could say. or as your parents said.

when you were both younger, they were convinced you two would grow up together and maybe get married in the future. the two of you became inseparable over a short amount of time - all because of the one day he offered you his juice carton after yours had been stolen by the class bully in the first grade. that was almost twelve years ago now and that same boy was still standing in front of you.

“what are you thinking about?” chan nudges you as the two of you walk down the same road to your usual frozen yoghurt place.

“just some stuff,” you shrug.

“like?”

“pre-school.”

he hums in response, and you take this as an indication to go on.

“our parents really dealt with our crazy friendship the daily playdates... imagine if we ended up how they wanted us to.” you smile fondly, the thought of it all was enough to plaster an expression on your face.

“don’t remind me, they would’ve married us the moment we turned 18 if we left it up to them.” he chuckles. “they think we were meant together”

“do you?” you retort.

“do i what?”

“think that?” you ask not facing him. you would rather not have him fully see the crimson building up on your cheeks.

“i don’t know, i guess. we've been friends for so long, i've never thought about it.”

you nod understandingly and walk the rest of the way in silence, a comfortable one at that. there was never anything else when the two of you were together.

maybe that’s why you didn’t want to let go yet.

“BEACH DAY!”

“ugh, do you seriously have to scream that down the entire hallway, y/n?”

“yes because it’s beach day!” you yell one more time, forcing a reaction out of him but your amusement quickly dies down after feeling the soft impact of your pillow in your face.

“heh”

chan proudly walks out the room leaving you dumbfounded but you quickly scramble back onto your feet and chase after the boy jumping on his back earning a grunt from the much taller male.

“you suck.” he groans

“be careful you are in my territory little boy” you snicker signalling to your house which had been the location of the endless sleepovers for the summer holidays.

“speaking of, i really should go back home and pick up some more of my stuff before we leave for the beach.” he mentions as he lets you down from his back and the two of you take your seats by the kitchen island.

“oh that’s fine, want me to come with you? i miss your mom anyways.”

“don’t you have your own beach bag to pack?” he asks, grabbing a plate which mimics his actions and starts piling up your plate with his favourite breakfast stuff before passing it over to him.

“i can do it later” you smile now making your own breakfast plate. chan looks down hesitating with it.

“nah it’s okay, i’ll be back quick anyways” he mumbles, picking at the food making you lift a brow without saying anything as you delve into your own happily.

he didn't want to upset you but the small little things you had been doing for him had been harder to let go of as time went by.

however it's not long before breakfast is over and chan waves a quick goodbye before leaving for his own home for the first time in ages. it was quite normal for the two of you to spend a large amount of time at one and others houses both families gave up in trying to send you two back to your respectable homes.

meanwhile you spent the time he was gone packing your own beach bag consisting of the usual tower, sunscreen and one of the disposable cameras you bought for summer memories documenting. chan had laughed at the big box that arrived at your house a month ago especially when you told him it was a box of eight disposable cameras.

“you have your phone plus a polaroid camera, why do you need disposable ones?” he asks curiously prodding at the box.

“these ones come out cuter don’t judge. plus i’ll give you one or two that we use during the many adventures for you to process and hang up the pictures in your new room” you look up at the boy hopefully as he sighs in defeat.

giving yourself a little round of applause you open up the box and immediately grab one of the cameras pulling chan closer to get a selfie.

“this one is to mark the start of our summer adventures documented by a disposable camera.”

shaking your head you pull yourself out of your daze right on time as the doorbell rings. you only assume it’s chan and you’re right as you open up the door to the boy with his hands filled.

you take one of the bags from his hand letting him into the house.

“what’s all this?” you ask curiously trying to look at the bags as best as you could through the little openings.

“extra clothes, stuff for the beach and snacks my dad brought back from japan for you. he said he forgot to give them the last time”

excitedly you rush over to the bag he held up to you, japanese snacks were one of your favourite and chan's father had made it a regular occurrence to always bring you back some after his long work trips away in osaka.

which was where the family would be moving by the end of summer hence why the two of you spent each day doing something new counting down the days till the moment he stepped onto a plane without you.

noticing the sad look on your face while you looked at the snacks longingly chan threw an arm around your shoulders.

“what’s with the look? come on we’ve got waves to catch y/n”

“i'm gonna miss you” you pout and his gaze softens pulling you away from the bags and into his embrace allowing you to relax in his arms for a bit. he thought this would happen one way or another but he only expected it when it was the last day.

“are you ready to go?” he whispers while rubbing your back and you almost wanted to say no just to be able to stay like this a little longer but nevertheless you pulled a way nodding beginning to walk over to the bags so you could put them away into the car.

the drive to the beach was only peaceful, which was normal when it came to you two. just endless music and comfortable silence but you knew the tension in the air would not decrease anytime soon due to the nature of this entire summer.

“will we still talk when you leave?” you blurt out, failing to face the boy currently sat in the driver's seat.

“why the sudden question?” his face evidently changed to the questioning look he’s always had when he was confused about something.

you shrug and he doesn’t question furthermore which you appreciated because it would’ve been tough having to explain the endless worries in your mind.

reaching forward for his phone you scroll through his playlists until you find the one song that the two of you often found comfort in when together or apart.

“we have seriously got to get over this song”

‘shut up, i love you’

you laugh at his statement but that doesnt stop the two of you from singing along to the lyrics like it was your own song. you occasionally turned to the other watching him nod along to the song, your heart was in pain. how could you let go of him so soon?

‘you're my best friend’

another morning, another day crossed off till chan had to leave by the end of summer. the thought of him leaving soon made your stomach churn to the point you wanted to scream. so many unexplained feelings and yet you had to act like everything was okay and making the last few memories this summer would be nothing. you had no energy to get out of bed and do anything today even if you knew that the day would just go to waste.

“so what are we doing today? making more memories?” chan asked right on point with your thoughts almost teasingly.

“you ask that as if i have no reason to do this.” you mumble turning away from the boy and nuzzling further into your blanket.

“there's still time before i leave y/n”

“not enough though, chan.” you finally turn back to him, frustrated that he couldn't understand why you were so keen on spending time with him.

“yeah but i don't want to do all this just for the sake of time, i want to do it because we both love spending time together. don't we?”

you nodded pitifully, struggling with the real reason why it was harder to get through summer. your feelings were a factor in it all but you couldn't find it in you to tell him.

“can we just spend today at yours?” you asked softly, scared if you raised your tone it might betray you somehow.

this time it was his turn to nod before moving closer to you, unsure of what he was going to do. you looked up at the boy who only brought you into his embrace once again, causing your heart to do countless backflips.

“you’ve been giving me a lot of hugs recently.”

“mind your own business”

you giggle, letting your breathing steady at the pace of his. your mind drifts to the fact somehow you only felt this way when he was the cause of it.

he couldn't help but smile to himself when you let go in his arms, allowing him to hold you, physical affection was never a common thing in your friendship.

‘i think our hearts are starting to show’

“let's get ready to leave, hm?” he spoke, almost in a whisper as you pulled away and met his eyes. they had that usual sparkle in them. the one you adored.

his house, you were always warmly welcomed by mrs lee who treated you like her own child, perhaps that's why you and chan’s friendship was able to last as long as it had, your families ordered each other as much as the two friends did.

“i was wondering when he would bring you around again, how’s summer been so far?” his mom asked as you took your seat on one of the island chairs like you usually would while chan went to grab a bottle of water for you and him.

“it's been okay” you smiled at the woman now sitting across from you with a kind smile waiting for you to continue. “we’ve just been chilling you know how it is.”

“has he confessed his undying love for you yet?”

“mom! what the hell?” chan exclaims in shock trying not to choke on his sip of water and you sit there stunned.

“i'm joking sweetheart” she reassures the two of you noticing the red on either of your faces, giving you a knowing smile before turning away which lingers on your mind slightly longer than you would have wanted.

it takes a moment for chan to calm down and when he does he drags you out of the kitchen to his game room hoping to get away from his mother's endless teasing.

“god, i'm sorry i hate when she does this.” he runs a hand through his hair expressing his frustration and you chuckle nervously.

“does she say this stuff all the time?” you wonder, taking your seat on chan’s gaming chair making him sit on the bean bags on the floor. but he doesn't seem to pay any attention to it while he recovers from the past events.

“sometimes, it's always stuff like when am i going to ask you out or confess or something crazy you know?” he explains, fanning himself.

something crazy… the words stung momentarily as you thought about anything happening between you guys would be crazy to him. nothing would happen anyways, not now.

he shakes his head while walking over to plug in his monitor, “my mom truly believes we’ll end up dating.” he laughs to himself but you only go red at his statement, turning around on the gaming chair dangling your legs trying to distract yourself.

he frowns at the way you turn around but does not question it any further, instead, he picks up two of his game controllers and puts one in front of you before settling back down into the beanbag.

“what are we playing?” you ask finally turning back around

“mario kart?” he states more like a question though and you agree, leaving the gaming chair to sit beside him on one of the other beanbags.

you couldn't help but think how much you were going to miss this, zoning out as you think of the last time you two played.

“if i win, you have to fulfil one of my wishes, and if you win then… whatever you want.” chan writes it all down on paper kind of like a mock contract and you laugh as he slides it over to you to sign.

“please don't wish for anything crazy or expensive” you beg jokingly.

the only response you get from the boy is a simple wink which directly sends the butterflies into your stomach like every other time he does something.

you guys start your game and immediately the tension rises as the two of you compete for first class, occasionally nudging each other to throw the other off.

“i am going to win this, i promise you.”

your words lose all meaning as the big number two appears beside your character and you huff, mad at the fact you lost to chan once again who had managed to secure first place. it was frustrating how good the boy was at this game.

“what was that?” he lifted his hand to cup his ear teasingly waiting for you to repeat your previous statement.

you shove him away from you and cross your arms still salty at the loss.

“i think i choose to use my wish now.” he looked at you now.

“fine, what is it lee chan?” you kept your arms crossed as you also turned your body to face him.

“i’d like a kiss.”

you never expected to kiss him that night, and even if it didn't make things too awkward afterwards it only made you sure of the feelings that grew for the boy.

“wanna make a bet if one of us wins?”

you look at the boy stunned at his suggestion.

“did you forget what happened last time?” you ask fiddling with your fingers.

“yeah we kissed, no big deal right?” he turned away to turn on the game and you sat with your face evident with disbelief.

“really? no big deal?”

“huh?” he looks at you, puzzled.

“friends dont just kiss…” you try your best to explain but it felt like it was going over his head from the way he looked at you with so much confusion.

standing up, you unwantedly raise your voice “all summer you keep filling your head up with these things like we can never date and all of that rubbish after we literally kissed not so long ago, does that not mean anything to you?”

“it wouldn't matter anyways, i'm leaving. i’ll be gone soon.”

“that doesn't mean we won't stop talking. you said so yourself.” you fretted with a pleading look.

he looks at you saying nothing and you can only scoff feeling all the blood rush up to your head in anger before opening the door to leave. staying would only make things worse and you knew he wouldn't try and resolve anything if you did.

“where are you going?” he calls out as you’re about to go down the stairs with tears of frustration filling up your eyes.

turning around, you respond quietly to the boy, “is that all you’re going to ask?”

“what do you want me to say, y/n?”

you laugh in disbelief and struggle to keep yourself from choking out any tears, “i’ll give you time to think about it.”

with that you make sure to compose yourself enough to wave at mrs lee with a big smile by the time you’re down the stairs and she responds with a pitiful one, she most likely had heard you both. letting yourself out, you also let out the breath you’d been holding, leaving your childhood best friend all alone for the first time this summer.

walking home all alone was the worst part because your overwhelming emotions would not stay inside of you causing you to spill every sadness filled tear onto the pavements you walked on.

you made your way inside your house and without greeting your parents you locked yourself away to wallow in your sorrows for that entire weekend occasionally letting your mom in to comfort you without telling her the reason to your sadness unaware that at one point your parents worriedly notified chan you weren't feeling good sometime, it was only till you heard your mom softly knock on your door to tell you the said boy was waiting for you downstairs.

your heart wouldn't quit racing in your chest as you opened the door to her soft eyes begging you to talk to him after realising whatever happened was something to do with him. so you follow her downstairs, making your way into the living room where chan was sitting uncomfortably on the couch hoping for you to show yourself. you walked as slowly and quietly as you could trying not to notify him of your presence but that didn't work when you heard his voice call out your name making you shut your eyes tight in pain.

“i know you’re there y/n please talk to me”

freezing on the spot you decided not to go further into the room in fear of bursting into a sob at the sight of him. so you sit on the floor behind the wall separating you two.

“im listening.” you call out as quietly as possible.

“i'm assuming you’re not going to come in, that's okay.” he nods to particularly no one, perhaps himself.

it was silent as chan inhaled deeply, thinking about how what he was going to say would change things.

the atmosphere got more awkward by the second which was a new feeling for the both of you, never once had there been such a moment together.

“i'm sorry”

“i’m sorry we never sat down to talk about our feelings much lately. i feel like everythings been about me and the fact i'm…” he stopped mid sentence he was hesitating although it was inevitable one way or another you would be hearing this out loud again.

“i'm leaving y/n and i don't want to leave without telling you that you do mean more to me than just a best friend.”

your eyes widened in shock as you stood up hoping to run away from this situation but chan was one step ahead of you as he held onto your wrist, a gentle but burning touch that pulled you back towards him.

“maybe i'm too late but i'd like you to know later than never. so please say something?” he pleads, searching your eyes for some sort of a non verbal answer while waiting for you to speak up.

“you’re leaving next week… good luck.” you whisper, straining your voice enough so it wouldn't break. “im sorry too.” you pull out from his grip and walk off to your room without making eye contact with your mom who stood by the staircase with a pitiful look, all meant for you and the boy you left standing alone in your own house.

and when he left you knew that was the last time you’d see him.

“chan? you’re home quite early. how was y/n’s?”

he looked at his dad with a blank expression and shrugged his shoulders, his mom hadn't told him she saw y/n leave upset.

“it's going to be tough but i hope you’re both ready to say your goodbyes soon,” he smiled, giving his son a pat on the back.

if only it was like that and if only he could go back to reverse all the stupid things he said.

the blank feeling burdened you also as you caught a glimpse of the photos you had already gotten processed from your disposable camera.

letting go now would make it easier for the two of you when the time came though in your heart he would still be the most important person for a while until he wasn't. maybe in another world something would be different so the two of you wouldn't be where you are right now, instead in a much happier place.

perhaps in that happier place you would’ve said goodbye…

[hyukiee]

Chapter 1: Destiny

warnings: cussing, drug use, mental illness (future fluff, smut, angst, etc.)

this is my first story i’m writing on tumblr, I hope y’all like it. I’ll probably update once or twice a week. I plan on this not so lovely love story to be pretty long.. and angsty. Enjoy :)

Dreams are one of the most unknown things we experience, yet no one questions our lack of knowledge about them when we lay in bed at night. Not everybody dreams. Some people only dream when their happy... or sad... or scared... or it just happens every blue moon for no reason at all. You dream every day, to the point where you feel a little depressed if you don’t have one. They never take you to wonderland, their never right, something is always off but you liked them anyways. They gave you an escape from reality, until reality started showing up in your dreams. The reality that you’re slowly killing yourself when really this was supposed to be the peak of your existence. The reality that you literally gave the most handsome man you’ve ever seen, the ugliest look in downtown Hollywood and the reality that you know you will ruin his life or get close to it.

‘That stupid fucking asshole, I can’t believe that no good piece of shit left me to fend for myself. It’s so fucking hot. Fuck off Karen, my face is easier to look at than that awful sweater. Fuck. I need to sit down.’ You stopped walking and you look at yourself through the reflection of some enterance to a cafe, it smells like. Jesus christ, those eye bags look like black eyes. You went to your closest friends party the other night, you didn’t want to go so that explains the oversized grey hoodie and grey sweats that... have dirt on them? How the fuck- you know what, you’ve seen worse. You can’t go inside the cafe looking like this though. The shady floor will do for now. Everyone is wearing work clothes so you must of slept through all of Sunday. Alone. Because your dick head of a friend abandoned you, god knows when but for someone that slept through an entire day, you’re tired. Maybe it’s just the mental exhaustion you live with but god you could use a nap. “E-eguse me ehm here you go,” you look up and see the most perfectly built man you have ever seen, holding a.. $10 bill? You unknowingly glare at him after noticing his arm holding out the money to you. He looked nervous, and foreign as fuck what accent is that? “I’m not homeless, fuck off.” Who the fuck is he to assume your homeless? Cant someone sit in piece for a little? Prick. You stood up, hitting his shoulder as you walked away, not ever looking back at his beautiful face.

Wake up, go to the beach, take a xans, go to work, go home, sleep, wake up, eat, sleep, and wake up to repeat the process. You always hated living by a constant schedule, but at this point you do anything you can to hurt yourself. The weekends are different though, its always spontaneous. Will you snort a line with the crackheads down the street or will you go to a party because you know the college kids adore their new interest in drugs? You really don’t need drugs. You’re fine. Depression put you in this place and god you feel like a coward. People go through so much more and stay away from drugs. Coward. Your thoughts consist of things like this often, even when your supposed to be hearing your idiot friends excuse for abandoning you last week. “Y/n, seriously, I could of sworn you were dead.” “Wow, thanks Julian, i’ll make sure to leave your lifeless body instead of calling 911 like a sane person when I get the chance.” You both rolled your eyes in sync. You loved Julian, he’s such a dumbass but despite saying he’s your closest friend, your hardly friends. You met before you dropped out of college, he was your dealer, one of the nicest ones you’ve met. You ran into him often and bought from him often as well so you would talk but the reality is he only stays because you’re his best costumer and you frankly don’t care because you are too lost to even care about someone else.

“Y/n, I think you should lay back on your habits a little bit,” Julian broke the silence you both had on the pier. You both liked to meet up at the pier and smoke a little. “Oh please, don’t act like you care. Drop the act and be a fake friend to me, please,” you spoke unemotionally, making eye contact with him. “I’ve never met someone asking for a fake friend.” “Real ones require you to love and deal with them. I can’t do that for you Julian but I know that’s not what you wanted anyways. I practically pay your rent, just thank me and change the topic.” He sighed. Not a disappointed one, a relived one. Julian has been a dealer for a very long time, he stopped caring about his costumers decisions. He didn’t truly care for your health, it was the sad truth. He did get worried that night at his party but only because he isn’t heartless. You knew that though, you seemed so lifeless and incapable of feeling anything to him. He wondered about your story at times but he knew somehow he would never get it. You’re easy to talk to though, it’s nice. “Thank you.”

Ever since you were little you wanted to live in a big city like L.A. Although, you imagined you would be going to UCLA and going to study on a beach just because you could. Standing next to Julian in line at Coachella, you just now take in how completely different your life turned out but at least you did end up here. Julian gets into Coachella for free every single year so your always his +1. You love gatherings like this but this one is just a little too Pg for you. You always end up spending most of your time at the food trucks. But according to Julian, ‘so many people would kill to be around this many celebrities’ so maybe you could get a drink or two in and mingle or whatever. It won’t kill you. So here you are, waiting to get a margarita because god knows you can’t be any type of social while sober. “I guess you weren’t homeless after all, my apologies,” you turn around and see the beautifully built man leaning down towards you. You could run. You’re not to far from the exit and it would be impossible to run into this guy for a third time... right? “Are you following me?” That was supposed to stay in your thoughts.. Is he though? How the hell do you see each other in two different cities? Sure, everyone knows about Coachella but how does he recognize you, you look good today, not homeless or drugged up, whichever works. “Ah, sorry, my english bad,” He stood up straight rubbing his hand on the back of his neck nervously. Right. Foreigner with a unknown accent. “What language do you speak?” It’s not like you’re going to understand his language but your curiosity is getting the best- “Korean.” You know it really isn’t too late to run. This man could be lying, trying to kidnap you and sex traffic you. What are the chances he just happens to speak the one other language you do as well. He could be faking this for all you know. “Hello,” You haven’t spoken in Korean since high school. You dont know why you even let that out. “You speak Korean? Wow, hello!” He bowed to you slightly with a box like smile on his face. That’s cute. It’s different. “I really am sorry for mistaking you the other day, do you mind me asking what happened?” “I was on a lot of drugs at a party and my friend abandoned me because he thought I overdosed.” You learned a long time ago to leave your addiction to yourself. People look at you differently when you do drugs, even your closest friends. That’s one of the first lessons you learn as a drug addict, keep it to yourself. The only people that know you do drugs are the ones that do them too. You could of lied to him, but the self destructive part of you couldn’t help but push this stranger away. You turned around to look at him after it got awkwardly silent. “What? You surprised? Scared? No harsh feelings, I don’t even know you.” You held in a laugh from his shocked and awkward expression. “Your right, we don’t know each other, I’m Taehyung,” He held out his hand replacing his taken aback expression back to his box-y smile, pretending what you said just never happened. ”Y/n,” You sighed. He won’t give up whatever this is. Fantastic. “Well actually, i’m supposed to be talking with famous people or something like that so I should get going,” You didn’t know how to get out of this situation. You felt like you couldn’t breathe with him standing so close to you. This conversation gets more and more awkward everytime you speak. “Then why are you leaving?” You both stared at each other, surprisingly not awkwardly. It was comforting looking into his eyes. “What? “You know what, I actually should go before i’m late, i’ll see you later,” he gave you one last smile and patted your shoulder before leaving you. “But- Why? What?”

“I just had the most uncomfortable conversation of my life with this insanely perfect looking man,” you spoke almost out of breath, finally finding Julian in the crowd. “Yeah, i’m pretty sure I saw who you’re talking about when I left you,” Julian is such an old soul. He responded while looking ahead at the stage, almonds in one hand like a football dad. “Who’s performing next” “Uh, BTS.” You hardly listen to music these days. Music that doesn’t fit your ‘fuck life, love drugs’ aesthetic. BTS doesn’t ring a bell so you probably won’t like it but it’s not like you have anything else to do, you’ve had enough with weird interactions. “Remind me why we’re sober,” you sighed, starting to feel the pain from standing for so long. “I’m sober, you’re drunk.” Julian glanced at the margarita in your hand. Right, you almost forgot. “Oh, don’t judge-“ “Sh sh sh their coming.” He hit your shoulder a couple of time looking at the stage like a child. You hate when people tap on you it’s so annoying. You sighed for the one thousandth time and focused on the group of people coming to the stage. Asians, how convenient. You know if life really hated you they would be Korean just like- “Ey, isn’t that the ‘insanely perfect looking man’ you were talking about? I can’t tell.” You have got to be kidding. That’s why he asked why you were leaving. He’s fucking famous. “I need another drink,” You sighed.

[ravenspacemaker]

since im done with bb19 and came to the good side (aka cbb20) lets start new

so here are some of my thoughts on the cbb20 housemates

amelia lily: amelia’s kinda irrelevant in the house to me. her relationship with chad was cute and all but besides that i barely see her and i didnt even notice her until like a week ago. i think she could probably win considering she seems well-liked and inoffensive.

brandi glanville: brandi was really annoying me in the beginning of the game but i just dont really care about her anymore. she hasnt really been doing anything recently i think, and i feel like if she doesnt upset anyone shes just eventually gonna evicted somewhere towards the middle of the game.

chad johnson: originally i hated chad but i dont have anything against him anymore. he seems like hes actually a nice guy but his brand is just based on being a cocky douchebag. the relationship with amelia was cute and all but idk if thats dead considering she nominated him (i havent watched the ep where they nominate so that was probably explained and i just didnt see it yet).

derek acorah: derek is one of the expendable old housemates who does nothing but is there for the demographic i suppose. i dont really like him but i dont have anything against him. i personally find mediums and psychics and all that to be bullshit so i kinda didnt like him from the beginning because of that, but idk he does nothing to make me hate him. i dont like how hes ofc gonna end up going far just because hes inoffensive though.

helen lederer: helen’s in the same boat as derek, i dont care about her. im kinda disappointed in her though because shes a comedian so i expected her to be more entertaining.

jemma lucy: jemma definitely seems crazy. im american and we dont really have a reality tv culture like the uk does, like here reality tv is most often reserved for people who are already established so we dont really get to see the whole jemma/jordan/sam type whose careers are basically just getting on reality tv shows and being hot messes, so those types really fascinate me. i would prob hate jemma but again, her type fascinates me so i kinda like her. plus her background is interesting to me.

jordan davies: jordan is similar to what i said about jemma, like his whole type just fascinates me. originally i liked jordan more than sam, but now i like sam more because jordan nominated trisha and i dont take that lightly. i still lowkey like him a little bit but hes gone way further down. also i find him really attractive sorry.

karthik nagesan: someone evict him already dear god. im fairly confident hes gonna get evicted tonight but who knows. he annoys me everytime he opens his mouth and hes a real sad excuse for a celebrity. he seems like he knows that he has to be interesting to get airtime but is trying so hard to be interesting that he doesnt know what hes doing. i dont like paul but the racist thing was so just weird to me. like he calls paul racist, then says he was joking, then everybody is like it was a misunderstanding karthik misheard him and thats why he was offended. so, he wasnt joking then? he did think paul was being racist? idk idc i just dont like karthik.

marissa jade: marissa was so fake it was annoying. her relationship with jordan made me uncomfortable but i didnt really dislike her or anything until i saw her eating that pizza. like how desperate for attention can u be. she was literally like moaning it was so disturbing. i hope thats why she got evicted. not gonna miss her, although she was pretty ngl.

paul danan: god i hate paul. theres literally something with the name paul like idk why but that name is cursed. first p*ul abrahamian and now paul danan. ik a guy named paul irl too and i hate him. but seriously paul is horrible and hes such a snake. him trying to fit in with jordan and sam is so cringey too, like dude ur 40 something stop acting like ur in ur 20s its embarrassing.

sam thompson: i hated sam in the beginning but hes gone up on my list. i like how him and trisha are getting along better now, i really hope he isnt just fucking with her though. hes really cute and probably the type of guy id normally be into (i love blonds and im always attracted to the jackass type ik its horrible). but again same thing with jemma and jordan, the british reality tv personality is just so fascinating to my american self.

sandi bogle: originally i thought sandi was gonna be fun and entertaining, but shes really become just another derek/helen/shaun and i dont really care about her. she looked hot af during the premiere but she just doesnt do anything. i feel like she might even win just because of how inoffensive she is, but thats so boring cmon i want drama.

sarah harding: sarah was one of the few i knew before the show (along with amelia [only because i got her confused with a different singer with the name lily and ended up finding her], brandi [never saw her show though], and trisha [ofc]), and i had always heard she was like the party girl/hot mess of girls aloud, so thats what i was kinda expecting. however, in the house shes more of like a woe-is-me pity party type of girl. its just getting really tiring. i hate how she seems really popular too because id rather her outside of the house. also its kinda awkward seeing her trying to hide the fact that cheryl hates her. 

shaun williamson: theres nothing even to say about shaun. he does absolutely nothing and the thoughts i have on him are the same as derek/helen/sandi. 

trisha paytas: the queen herself. honestly people can keep nominating her because she has more insta followers than all of them so i really dont see her getting evicted this early. it pissed me off sfm when paul was questioning her fame because shes literally more relevant than he is. cant wait until theyre all out of the house and can look her up to see how shocked they all are. i love trisha but i hate seeing how depressed she seems to be in the house considering how excited she seemed to be before she moved in. hopefully things get better for her, and as much as idk if its possible id love to see her win.