#seriously Belle just came potty trained and I have no idea how

[followerofmercy]

I have one parrot that gets on my shoulder just to shit on me and another parrot that is inexplicably potty trained, but also part termite and eats the molding on the door. 

[kayr0ss]

Appointments Chapter 5: Headaches and Some Music

[LWA, Diakko, Small Town AU, Fluff and Slow Romance, Pining™ lol]  

Chapter 1 & Table of Contents AO3 Link

Diana pursed her lips, locked in a heated stare-down against the newest occupant of her apartment.

“Please behave yourself until I return.”

The cat ‘mew’ed’ in reply as though he understood and resumed licking the back of his paw. All things considered, he seemed to be a surprisingly well-behaved cat. Who looked polite. This small comfort was enough to make up for the ridiculousness of having to talk to a cat, and Diana realized that she had never been more excited to return to her clinic as she was now.

The normalcy of work, she thought to herself, is beginning to feel like a comfort versus the absurdity of my home’s current state of affairs.

She stepped through her doorway into a lovely Blytonbury morning. The habitual glance towards her watch read 09:51, urging her to walk at a quicker pace than usual. She regrettably strode right by Jasminka’s café—there was no time to pass by tea, and she hadn’t woken up early enough to make some for herself that morning.

Of course, because of the cat.

The day prior, she’d had to return home later than usual to fetch her feline tenant the basic supplies: a small can of cat-food, a litterbox, and two bowls for food and milk. The real challenge was in the ‘teaching him not to leave any form of excrement where he shouldn’t.’ Pleasant behavior aside, it seemed Toby was actually quite intelligent—although by the time it was two o’clock in the morning, her NewTube suggestions were a peculiar mix of medical lectures and ‘How to Potty Train Your Cat’ videos.

She made her way through the crosswalk—ensuring that no brunettes were running about—and mentally prepared herself for the day she was about to have. There were no scheduled patients before lunch, giving her enough time to review case files for a busy afternoon.

When she stepped through the glass door to her clinic, Barbara was already lounging behind her desk and flipping—as usual—through a novel.

“Good morning,” she peaked out from behind ‘NightFall 12: The Oblivion of Love’. “You’re on the dot today.”

“I always am,” Diana replied lightly. “Good morning to you as well.”

“You’re always at least fifteen minutes early,” Barbara corrected, smiling kindly. Then the nurse leaned forward, scrutinizing Diana with an observant gaze. “You’re…”

The blonde lifted her eyebrow in silent response.

“Something.” Barbara said slowly, as if trying to figure a puzzle out. She waved a hand to dismiss the thought. “Must have been my imagination, just thought there was something off. Anyway, I’ve laid down the patient files for the afternoon. We’ve got ourselves a slow morning.”

“Thank you,” Diana nodded politely, slipping into her whitecoat and thankful that she didn’t have to explain the kind of morning (and evening) she’d had. She settled into her chair, entertaining the thought of going through the documents Barbara had prepared before deciding she wasn’t in the right headspace for that. A headache. Massing her temples, she ascribed her irritability at a lack of sleep and constant worrying over her furniture’s wellbeing. She inwardly cursed her lack of morning tea—and really hoped her furniture were okay.

Learning back with a sigh, her eyes drifted towards a pamphlet at the edge of her table. It was the St. Beatrix MMC residency brochure on Cardiology. She’d probably read its contents nearly ten times over by now. In truth, the hospital had already reached out to her: she was “everything they were looking for”, or so the chief resident had said—a young doctor with an impeccable educational background. Diana had been truly grateful, but she was committed to taking the time she’d need to be absolutely sure. Which she wasn’t. At least, not yet.

There was a knock on her door, and Barbara was peeking through the doorframe. “Water. And an aspirin. Because for some reason you look—uh.”

“Off?” Diana tilted her head.

“Like shit.” Barbara nodded, and Diana would have had something to say about her choice of language if it weren’t for the fact that she was probably right. “Did anything happen?”

“Just a few issues to iron over at home,” she replied cryptically.

Barbara looked like she wanted to ask more, but decided not to prod. “That won’t do. We’re having lunch over at the Russian lady’s and getting those croissants you love so much, but in the meantime drink that Advil because someone’s gotta look after the doctor looking after everyone else.”

Diana smiled and felt a wave of gratitude pour through her over Barbara’s thoughtfulness.

“Which reminds me,” the other woman set the items down to Diana’s desk, “the cat’s gone.”

The blonde immediately looked down at the suddenly-very-interesting-patient-files. “I—Indeed.”

“You know, I think I’ll actually miss him. He was kind of cute.”

Diana was ready to remind her of the importance of workplace cleanliness when the front bell chimed louder than usual. The glass pane of the door practically swung open with force.

“Heya, doc! And miss nurse!”

Oh.

Barbara was the first to recover. “Where did you fall in this time? Was it a ditch? Or did you fly off your bike again?”

Atsuko Kagari-with-blood-ty—Oh, enough of that! She’s just Akko!—had come barging in with a large paper bag, effectively elevating Diana’s headache through several numbers up the VNRS pain scale.

“I—” Akko shot the nurse a smug look “—have yet to experience an accident this week!”

“That’s a first,” Barbara crossed her arms.

“But I’m here for you!”

Those stunning red eyes locked themselves onto Diana, and suddenly she couldn’t speak. Me? The brunette strode into her office. She dropped the paper bag onto her desk.

“I’m not quite sure I follow. What is this?”

“Child support!”

Diana flinched. Barbara blinked. Akko simply nodded to herself in smug satisfaction.

“For Toby. Since we’re co-parents now.” Akko clarified, looking completely serious. “There’s a bunch of cat food that should last a while, a cute mouse squeaky toy, and animal milk.”

The blonde felt her ears redden at the incredulous look Barbara was giving her, and seriously—was this seriously happening right now? ���C—Co-parents?”

“Yes.” Akko nodded with a determined glint in her eyes. “And I’m no deadbeat mom!”

“I—I see.”

“Anyway,” Akko took one of the pens from Diana’s stand without asking (“Don’t do that.”), and leaned over to write on the blank prescription pad on the blonde’s desk. “Here’s my number so you can text me about anything he needs and so we can arrange my visitation rights!”

Visitation rights?

“Oh.” Akko paused, lifting her thumb to her chin. “We probably need to schedule a trip to the vet and get him a collar, too.”

We?

Not knowing what else to say and still completely blindsided by Akko’s—well, everything—Diana simply complied. “I… know a veterinarian. He’s a childhood friend.”

“Perfect!” Akko beamed.

Once again, it was disarming. She really had to stop doing that to Diana.

“I’ve got to study for a test so I gotta bounce but I’m so excited to see him again!” Akko leaned across the table, moving around at a pace faster than Diana’s sleep-deprived-due-to-Toby’s mind could follow. The brunette wrapped her hand around her forearm and gave her another smile. It was warm. “But really—thank you Diana! I’ll see you around!”

She turned on her heel like the bundle of energy she was and bolted right out the door with a wave to Barbara.

Barbara—who looked right about ready to explode into laughter in the wake of Akko’s departure.

“You kept him.”

“Please don’t.�� Diana pleaded.

The nurse finally caved, leaning against the doorframe to her office for support while she snickered. “That’s why you look completely out of it! You’ve got to tell me everything.”

But then the thudding sound of footsteps interrupted their conversation yet again and the door swung open. Poor thing. Might need to have its hinges checked at this point.

“I almost forgot!” Akko came bursting into the room like a cannon ball. “I got this on my way here for you!”

She slammed a paper take-out cup from Jasminka’s café onto Diana’s desk.

“I have no idea what it is to be honest.” Akko yelled, already rushing back out in a hurry. “I just asked Jas for a cup of whatever your usual is! Okay-bye-for-real!”

She was gone in a flash. Diana could smell tea.

English Breakfast, prepared exactly the way she liked it. The aroma was enough to chase away the tension along her brow, and when she glanced towards Barbara, who looked just as lost as she felt—

—they shared soft laughter.

The whole thing was absolutely ridiculous. Including the fact that her cup was labeled: ‘Dr. Grumpy >:(’

 ---

 It was 5:30PM and Akko was in despair.

“Chikusho! That was a disaster.” Akko banged her head against the lecture room desk. She was reeling from the mental assault that was ‘Applied Physics Examination 1.’ Judging by the scowl on Sucy’s usually nonchalant face, it hit her pretty hard too. “How’d you do?”

“Tanginang test ‘yan.” She glowered in her native language.

“I’m going to assume that was a string of curse words.”

“For once in your idiot life, you are correct.”

“Mou!” Akko huffed.

“I’m out.” Sucy declared, and likewise, every fiber in Akko’s being wanted to get the hell out of this classroom as soon as possible. The purple-haired girl lazily slung her bag over shoulder and looked down at Akko (who was still very much slumped over the desk) through one eye. “So are you coming or should I leave you behind?”

Akko groaned. And then sighed. And then groaned another time while pointing towards the podium because—“First I have to walk over there and ask if she wants to join the running club.”

“The professor?” Sucy blinked.

“Ya, dude.”

Then Sucy was grinning daggers. “I think I’m gonna stick by and see if she’ll actually murder you this time.”

“Not funny!” Akko pouted while finally standing up and cursing the fact that she can no longer exist as a worry-free blob on a desk.

“It is. A little. Now go.” Sucy prodded on, repeatedly poking at her arm.

“Going, going!”

While the students slowly filed out of the room—in despair, mind you—Akko approached Dr. Meridies with Sucy lingering a safe distance behind her.

The lilac-haired professor looked up from a test sheet she was inspecting, looking, as one would say, way too tired for this shit. “No amount of begging is going to convince me to pass you.”

“I wasn’t going to!” Akko crossed her arms defiantly.

“Then why are we having this conversation?”

Well. There wasn’t any other way for this to go down than directly, so it was best to just blurt it out. “Do you want to join the running club?”

Dr. Meridies reeled, squinting. “The running club?”

“Yes.” Akko nodded. “The running club.”

“So many people are asking me to join this running club that I think I’m gonna start declining just out of spite.”

“Ugh!” Akko groaned. “I tried—can’t force you! Maybe Professor du Nord can, Kami-sama, why did I even both—”

“Wait wait wait—” Dr. Meridies raised a hand to shut Akko while scowling. “du Nord?”

“Yeah,” Akko said looked to the side with slumped shoulders, “the club moderator. And I’m here cause Diana asked so now that I’ve done that I’m just gonna boun—”

Oddly enough, the exasperated professor seemed to have tuned out. “Chariot du Nord, from Humanities?”

“Uh, yeah.” The brunette blinked. “Do you know her?”

“O—Of course.” The older woman began stare so hard at the table she could have burned a hole through. “Faculty and all.”

Akko caught on like a wolf, grinning mischievously. “You know her!”

“Like I said we both teach—”

“You know know her.”

“Out!” Dr. Meridies barked, “of my classroom!”

With a devious glint, which Akko swore she could see in Sucy’s eyes too, she waved in exaggerated politeness and made her way to the door.

“Okay, professor!” Oh, she loved this sort of drama! “Just saying—it’s on Monday evenings!”

--

“You should have seen her face!” Akko squealed with almost manic glee. “Oh, Lotte you’re gonna love it—I know you’re a sucker for this kind of stuff.”

“But I can’t imagine it! How does Professor du Nord—” Lotte gestured towards her life with both hands for emphasis “—who seems super sweet and kind of introverted but is generally made of sunshine, find herself with a history of romantic involvement with someone like Dr. Meridies—” she made a quick jerking motion towards the right. “Who I haven’t actually seen in person, and if I were to base my judgments off your descriptions she sounds like some mad-scientist antagonist in an anime who’d wear a cape.”

Akko blinked. “That’s a good one.”

Sucy actually nodded.

“It makes no sense!” Lotte shook her head. And then… she swooned. “But love never does, does it?”

“Makes about as much as sense as this idiot getting that doctor to adopt the cat.”

“’The cat’ is named Toby!” Akko chided, “and you’d be hard-pressed to deny him if you’ve seen that cute little face of his.”

The three women were lazing about Lotte and Sucy’s living-and-dining area, with Akko sprawled across the couch that she’d be sleeping on since the pair—or just Lotte—invited her to stay over. There was take-out and beer (which Sucy and Akko had picked up on their way home), and the mini-get-together served two purposes: to recover from that horrid examination, and to keep Akko company because “tomorrow’s my first day of work and I am way too nervous to fall asleep without beer or Lotte nagging me to!”

There was something deeply comfortable about the small apartment. The furnishing didn’t match up and yet every piece felt like they belonged. Pots and pans hung above the stove, used yet well-maintained. They always had an extra set of everything—as though guests were welcome and often come and go. She loved it. And loved how welcome she felt in it. And though she’d never impose unless invited, Akko felt… cozy. Books, and mushrooms, and odd test-tubes, and literary manuscripts and all.

Lotte was in the middle of sharing the gist of her latest writing exercise when Akko felt her phone buzz.

“Hold on,” she excused herself, “I swear if this is a Canvas notification I’m gonna cut a bi—oh!”

“What is it?” Lotte asked.

-

18:53 Good evening. This Dr. Cavendish’s number – I’ve been able to secure an appointment with Dr. Hanbridge, the veterinarian I had mentioned. I apologize for the short notice but his soonest availability is tomorrow at around 1:30PM. Check-up aside, an agent in his clinic should likewise be able to assist with any documentation that needs sorting out given our arrangement. Your prompt response will be appreciated.

18:54 Heeeya Doc! 😊 u sound like an e-mail. :P

18:54 But sure lol I get off work @ Arcturus school around lunch time

18:55 Is it gonna be far?

18:55 But srsly lighten up abit it’s just me we can me at the bus stop or whrvr

18:56 I’ll be hailing a taxi service from my home and will collect you from your workplace at 12:30PM. Please be on time.

18:56 PLS add me on WhatsUpp through this number PLS omg I want pics of my little bby!!!! DO U FEED HIM and I can send you memes to show him so he’ll laugh LOL

18:56 LOL wtf ‘collect’

-

“It was Diana.”

Sucy cocked an eyebrow, “’Diana’?”

“I have a vet trip with Toby tomorrow!” Akko buzzed. “Oh bother, now I’m never going to get any sleep.”

“Is she for real?” Sucy indifferently pointed towards Akko while speaking to Lotte. “She’s like some ‘instant-friendship’ anomaly. Even I feel personally victimized.”

Lotte only smiled. “You have to sleep lest you subject poor children to a zombie for a teacher tomorrow.”

“That’s mean!”

Akko shared a laugh with Lotte, urging her to carry on with her story. They were getting to the good part—Edmund was about to confess!

One successful synopsis reading and a few topic changes later, Akko’s phone had buzzed once more.

It was a picture.

She squealed so hard her cheeks hurt.

“Akko, down! Yes—I see him—stop screaming or else I’m going to poison your drink.”

 -

 The driver pulled up at Arcturus School’s main driveway at exactly half-past noon.

“Please wait a moment.” Diana politely requested, mildly aware of the fact that she was beginning to miss the luxury of having her own car and service.

“Sure, just don’t leave me alone with that little fella, don’t matter how cute he might be.”

With a sigh—which was one of many at this point—she gently peered over to Toby whose head was poking out of the most comfortable canvas tote bag she could scavenge. It was that or nothing at all, and no, she wasn’t going to carry him in her arms.

‘Mew.’ He stared back up towards her. At least he seemed comfortable—and she tried to fight it but then she gave in and chuckled.

“Oh, come on then.”

Diana stepped out of the vehicle with Toby in tow. She pulled out her phone, putting a call through for the latest addition in her phonebook.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Typical. She wasn’t picking up.

Fortunately she had anticipated this, there was a half-hour allowance in her schedule. Instead of bombarding the brunette with several missed calls, she opted to walk towards what looked like the waiting area where children were fetched. She took a moment to look around, noticing that the school grounds had an abundance of trees—much like the rest of Blytonbury and the campus of LNU. The morning classes were dismissed and children ran about. A few of them began to notice her special baggage, and one little girl ran up to her and nearly hugged her legs.

She had hazel eyes, and big, goofy grin. “You’re so pretty!”

Diana blinked. “Thank you.”

“Is that a cat?”

“Yes.” She lowered the bag a little, appreciating the wonder in the little girl’s voice. “But I can’t let you pet him yet, I’m afraid. He still bites.”

“But I—”

The little girl was cut-off by the sounded children cheering. Diana followed her line of sight and saw…

Akko.

She was playing music. And laughing. But more than that—everyone around her was smiling just as bright. Children sang while they danced in a circle around her, clapping their hands to the beat of what sounded like a ridiculously complicated rendition of the ABCs on the violin. The pace was quick while she played a progression of eight and sixteenth notes. The feel of the song was less classical and more like an upbeat Celtic dance.

And dance they did. Laughing, and clapping, and bouncing around in mirth without a care in the world.

Akko played with such joy and passion that Diana could feel the warmth from several meters away. She kept still—already forgetting her earlier dismay on being behind schedule—and simply watched.

“Do you know her?” The little girl with hazel eyes asked in a small voice.

Diana nodded, smiling to herself while trying to wrap her head around the conundrum that was Atsuko Kagari—who had red eyes, who tripped over nothing and scraped her knee, who could barely make it to her classes on time and yet could bewitch a crowd with a smile and a bit of music.

“She’s…”  

Even Toby looked he was watching.

“…my friend.”

 -

end chapter

-

A/N: Hello everyone! Hope you're doing well, stayin' safe and staying home. So anyway here's another chapter and admittedly I only have a very rough outline of where I want this story to be and well... I like writing one shots because I'm REALLY bad at plotting out longer stuff like seriously, when I started this, I thought it would be 5 chapters long at most and yet here's chapter 5.

So I've decided to just go with it and take the time to explore and narrate the relationships/interactions I've got in my head AND I don't know anything about taking care of cats I AM SORRY IT PROBABLY SHOWS

Hope you're enjoying it so far! (AND I still owe Diana a happy birthday fic that may or may not involve feet due to some shenaginas I've seen on tumblr which I don't know if are jokes or not)

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

An SPN chatroom

[a/n: was on Deviant art just reading these chatroom fictions. so i came up with a quick one...or a long one that nearly dragged but i found a stopping point. i added crowley...this is set around season 13/14. I added because, why not.]

Warnings: Fluff, embarrassing stories (my actual embarrassing story is in here, because i really don’t care, anything to loosen Dean up)

Pairings: none really

[not my gif, but i’m Jensen in this situation. lol!]

~

Katie Started a chatroom

Chatroom Name: Pie is Life

Dean logged on

Sam logged on

 Katie: I did’s it!

Dean: Yes you did, dork.

Sam: why a chatroom, we’re sitting right here?

Katie: It’s fun.

Mary logged on

Katie: HI MISSES WINCHESTER!

Mary: Hi Katie!

Mary: Boys, your rooms are filthy, go clean them.

Dean: Mom, seriously.

Mary: Now, once you’re done you can come back on here.

Dean: You know I’m 40 years old.

Mary: So Katie, when Dean was 2, and he was potty training

Dean: MOM! FINE I’M GOING!

Dean logged off

Sam logged off

Katie: Continue.

Mary: He was potty training, he thought he had to sit to pee. John was home from a hunt and he had to teach him how to pee.

Katie: OH. MY GOD, THAT’S TOO CUTE AND FREAKING FUNNY!

Mary: One of the things of being the only parent home. Dean’s walked in on me going to the bathroom he thought that’s how he’s supposed to go.

Katie: OH. I’m so, gah, I can’t stop giggling.

Dean logged on

Dean: YOU TOLD HER ANYWAY!

Mary: Yeah, it’s rude not to finish.

Dean: But mom, that’s embarrassing!

Katie: Dean, she was the only parent around at the time. It was totally logical for a kid your age learning how to pee would think you’d do it like her. You hardly saw your dad. It’s totally fine. I found it cute!

Dean: Whatever, it’s still embarrassing.

Sam logged on

Sam: Oh dear god Dean, really.

Dean: I’ll be right back,  I’m just going to go shoot myself in the foot!

Katie: Dean, come on and man up. Shit happens!

Katie: When I was in the second grade I got really sick and puked in front of my whole class. That was so embarrassing.

Dean: Really, how bad.

Katie: It was a massive puddle of puke, my teacher stopped teaching while the custodians cleaned it up.

Sam: Did I tell you the story about my Halloween party I went to in 6th grade?

Dean: No.

Katie: Nope.

Mary: No.

Sam: Andrea Howel, I had a huge crush on her. We were in Bizmark, and she threw this massive Halloween party.

Sam: We played a game.

Dean: Spin the bottle?

Katie: Truth or dare?

Dean: Same thing kid.

Katie: I’m a deprived child. Shut up.

Sam: ANYWAY! It was bobbing for apples. My stomach was in knots the whole night so when it was my turn…

Dean: Oh no.

Sam: I hurled. Lunch, Dinner. It all came up, mostly on Andrea. But it was so bad. That’s why I hate Halloween.

Katie: Just ‘cause you puked on your crush doesn’t mean the holiday Halloween itself is bad.

Dean: Exactly, you gotta let that go.

Katie: WE CAN DO HALLOWEEN THIS YEAR!

Mary: That’d be fun.

Katie: Who would we do?

Dean: Bonny and Clyde.

Katie: No.

Dean: Shaggy and Scooby and Daphne.

Katie: No.

Sam: What…why?

Dean: Rocky and Bullwinkle

Katie: THAT I can get behind for you and Sam.

Dean: I walked into that one didn’t I?

Sam: You think.

Katie: If only Crowley were here, he’d approve it.

Crowley logged on

Crowley: Hello again boys.

Katie: YOU LIVE!

Crowley: Of course, I am the king of Hell after all Darling.

Katie: Hehe.

Dean: Missed you bud.

Sam: You have no idea.

Katie: Aw, bromance.

Dean: Shut up.

Katie: No. there was Destiel…now there’s…hmm.

Dean: Ha! Good luck coming up with a ship name sweetheart.

Katie: Drowley…no, CrowDean…no that don’t sound right…damn it.

Dean: HAHA!

Katie: You sound just as dorky as the night you pizza rolled tinker bell.

Dean: Hey, Nipples had it coming.

Katie: Yeah, still…*snort* you got hit by a tiny naked girl

Mary: What now?

Katie: a fairy, Dean got his butt kicked by a fairy.

Sam: Sadly enough, I remembered him telling me that.

Crowley: Oh, this I’ve got to here.

Katie: It was around the time Sam was soulless, and we were hunting a case that sounded like UFO sightings. But it was UFO’s but Fairies. And Dean was abducted by them.

Dean logged off

Katie: UGH! Excuse me while I go suck up to Dean.

Katie logged off

Mary: Looks like some stories you guys left out telling me

Sam: We didn’t want to bore you.

Crowley: Well it’s been fun chatting with you  lovely Winchesters, but I have a little Hell to raise…again.

Sam: Good luck Crowley.

Crowley logged off

Mary logged off

Sam logged off

-

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 12/15/17

[ellawritesficssometimes]

Note: This theory will make use of Freudian theory. While I recognize that Freud’s ideas do not bear much contemporary relevance, that shouldn’t take away from the fact that many of his concepts (e.g., erogenous zones, childhood memory repression, catharsis) are nonetheless employed by Hima in the series. The purpose of this post is to give some insight into the psychologies of the characters.

Terminology I’ll go over: Psychosexual stages, causality, regression, fixation.

Yes, that’s right. Freud’s ideas are very much prevalent in the series. A big area of his work was analyzing the impact of childhood on personality development. Freud believed in causality, meaning that who you are as an adult can be directly traced back to your childhood.

How you’re parented and brought up is the most crucial factor. I don’t need to go into this in too much detail, but basically, we go through five stages of development titled: Oral, anal, phallic, latency, and genital.

For this specific post, we only need to focus on the early stages of development, which focus on sensual (sensory) pleasure and stimulation, often for the purposes of soothing and experiencing relief.

Each stage has corresponding needs. If these needs are not met (under-gratification) or if they are too easily met (over-gratification), then the person develops a fixation.

A fixation essentially means that the person is stuck at that level of development, which causes them to develop a problematic and unhealthy personality type.

However, it’s only when that individual is met with confrontation or a stressful situation that they regress back to the stage in which they developed this fixation. The stress causes them to revert back to the age where their needs weren’t met, and as such, they engage in childish behaviours.

For example, if you get into an argument with someone and they start behaving selfishly, like a toddler, then you have every right to poke fun at them for having Daddy or Mommy issues. Or, there are those who bite their nails and pick at their lips, something akin to the soothing acquired from sucking one’s thumb as a child.

Where America Fits Into This:  

America’s tricky in that he’s fixated at two stages of development. I’ll go over each of them separately.

Oral Fixation: 

The oral stages revolves around gratification through the mouth and lips. Tension and stress in an infant is reduced as they feed from their mother. It soothes them.

Over-gratification, as in the infant is fed too much or too easily, results in an oral-incorporative personality. In this case, it would apply not to how America was parented, as England wasn’t present in his life for long periods of his childhood, but rather the time that he spent in isolation.

In isolation, America only looked after himself. That’s why when he emerged from this isolation he came across as selfish and egocentric to the other nations. He had gotten so used to satisfying his own needs that he had trouble putting others first. [Please note that this is not the case in modern strips.]

Now, consider how much responsibility America had when he became a major manufacturing power in the years leading up to WW1.

Then, consider how he evolved to the status of a superpower following WW2. That’s a lot of responsibility for one nation to take, and as such, you would think that it would have caused America a lot of stress.

Well, it did.

Ex: He’s visibly distressed and disappointed in himself when the Stock Market crashes in 1939. He assumes all the blame given that it was his economy that had propped up the global market at the time.

While he doesn’t always show it, a lot of America’s habits help reduce this tension and stress. Not only that, but it helps him cope with the loneliness and lingering effects of isolation that he still feels when interacting with other nations.

Oral-incorporative personalities reduce tension through oral activities (duh). This would include things like smoking, drinking a lot, chewing gum, eating excessively, and being overly talkative. Hmmmm.

Doesn’t America overeat?

Isn’t America an overly-talkative person that just so happens to get on a lot of the other nations’ nerves?

Notwithstanding that America is completely aware of the fact that he’s not well-received in the international community?

This brings me to my next point. An oral-incorporative personality-type also possesses a high degree of gullibility. Following Freud’s allegory, they swallow everything they’re told.

With America, this gullibility of not being able to read the atmosphere is an act. 

It’s nothing more than a running gag and shouldn’t be taken seriously, especially if you look closely at his interactions with the other nations.

It’s a stress-reducing mechanism that allows him to avoid confronting reality, given how stressful his position as a superpower must have been. Point is, he’s more than capable of reading the atmosphere as seen in the example above. He simply chooses not to.

Similarly, America also embodies aspects of an oral-sadistic personality type. Under-gratification, as in the infant is not fed enough, results in this personality type. It means that they were weaned off early from their mother.

These people tend to be verbally abusive, or, in less serious cases they use “biting” sarcasm. Note again the use of an allegorical reference to infancy.

That said, we know that the nations often get frustrated with America for making reckless mistakes. More importantly, these mistakes are attributed to his youth and inexperience.

In that case, America being weaned off from England too early and not learning the proper ropes of how to conduct himself in accordance to tradition would be what is most relevant here...

Not many people know this, but America can be verbally abrasive (it’s not quite abusive) and sarcastic. The whole arc covering his and Canada’s childhoods are full of heated arguments between the two of them.

Ex: America gets frustrated with Canada when the latter refuses to let him see England following the Revolution.

The argument ends when Canada slams the front door on America.

Ex: America explodes at Canada upon hearing that the latter intends to gain his independence by being on good terms with England.

It’s the softness of the approach that doesn’t sit well with America. Canada is still fairly sheltered at this point, and hadn’t experienced/ travelled the world like America had. Put another way, Canada comes across as too idealistic to him.

“Is your head a field of flowers?!” 

Ex: Russia gives America a ticket to Siberia for his birthday. America blows his nose with it.

Anal Fixation:

[Yes, laugh. I didn’t come up with these terms.]

This stage of development centers around potty training. As toddlers gain control, autonomy, over their bodily functions, the authority that their parents assert over them regarding how they regulate these functions is met with hostility. They want to enjoy their newly-acquired independence and go whenever they want. The parents are the only barrier to that. Essentially, this stage is a battle of wills between the stubbornness of the toddler and their parents.

Sound familiar? Does the American Revolution ring a bell?

As America became increasingly sufficient, he realized that England’s authority was too imposing; it restricted his growth and freedom as a nation. He therefore pushed back and fought for his independence, his autonomy.

America fits best with an anal-retentive personality type. Similar to how a toddler will sometimes refuse to relieve themselves, these individuals tend to withhold their emotions and hoard their belongings. This also ties in nicely with how America pretends not to read the atmosphere.

Ex: America’s been shown on a few occasions to hold his tongue and not say what he really thinks.

Ex: He has a problem with over-manufacturing [hoarding].

Ex: While this doesn’t apply in the present, when he first came out of isolation, America would only do favors if it served to his own benefit.

Notice how similar that is to the behavior of a toddler. They lack the intellectual capacity to think of anyone but themselves.

Lastly, in terms of stress, you’ll also notice that America is often equated with child-like imagery.

This is especially the case when his ideas are challenged. The stress of it causes him to revert back to childish behaviour.

Ex: When proposing a world defense plan, he crushes bundled spoons to intimidate other nations into agreeing with him.

England berates him for this childishness too.

In sum, America’s childish behaviour is often an unconscious reaction to stress than it is arising from selfishness. Not only that, but a lot of his ‘obnoxious’ habits (e.g., eating excessively) can be attributed to him relieving his stress through them.