#sending u tons of love and healing vibes <3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aquarianlights · 6 years ago

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Oh my lord, you guys. Just. WOW. This has been one whirlwind of a summer semester and then right into fall semester.

The amount of things I’ve had to do over the past 2 weeks alone are just...astounding. And I’ve managed to get everything done. . .with torn muscles in my back, THANKS to my wonderful roommates help!

Yeah, so, the reason I really haven’t been active is because I have been...literally too busy to even fucking breathe. The amount of work that goes into premed school is... wow. I love it! But...wow. I can’t IMAGINE what med school is gonna be like, but it’s exciting to think about!

I tore muscles in my back last Thursday (so my PCP thinks; if they don’t heal by the time these steroid packs/muscle relaxers are done, then we’re going to check into seeing if one+ of my slipped discs burst) and to have 5 slipped discs in my spine (4 of those in my lumbar) and to also have fibro pain making it worse... AND THEN to have literally torn the muscles in my lumbar region on top of all of it?

Right on the weekend we are moving?

I cannot even, you guys.

If little, depressed me could see me now? I can’t believe what I am able to accomplish now. Hell, I only missed one days worth of classes (which is a lot, but still) despite all of this.

The amount of pain I have been in is through the fucking roof. I have had to get a MILLION things in order these first few weeks while juggling 6 classes. I had to drop 2 of them and attempt to switch into 2 fluff courses coz I could already tell I wouldn’t make straight A’s if I took that load. I wouldn’t even make 1 A, probably. Which is unlike me. So I did the smart thing and dropped the 2 nonessential classes, which leaves me with 2 classes left (1 miscellaneous science class + a lab) till I graduate. Tulane wants me to wait until their Fall semester to transfer so I have an extra semester here at this college that I didn’t think I would have. So that gives me time to graduate with those two classes next semester and add on any classes I didn’t make A’s in (I have 3 in my repertoire so far since I began my first year of college in 2010) to boost my GPA and then I’ll probably take a summer semester and try to take anything I’m still underwhelming in (1 or 2 courses, probably) and just boost my GPA more on top of things.

I have gotten into Honours Society and I’m supposed to be attending Phi Theta Kappa meetings all this semester because I didn’t make the cut this semester (the amount of fucking chaos...ugh), so I have been trying to draw up honours credit contracts with my current professors to see if I can make these honours credits, which will look incredible on my transcript.

I moved into my new apartment today and my roommates moved into their new house. We’re all very excited, but EXHAUSTED. Bless my fucking roommates. Those are true friends right there.

Since I tore muscles in my back and have been in such excruciating pain that I have been shrieking in pain and sobbing all the time, they did almost ALL of my packing for me (even though I really don’t have much now) and stayed up ALL NIGHT (literally) moving them into their place and then came to me as soon as I got my keys this morning and they got me moved in as well.

And whenever @wistfulwerewolf has actually slept and recuperated from being a total badass and staying awake forEVER to help me and them to get us all moved in, she’ll help me with getting my stuff physically in order a little bit since I can’t bend over or lift ...well, ANYTHING.

I cannot express how much they saved me. How much she saved me. Normally, I will admit, her optimism about life gets on my nerves. I hate optimistic people coz life just doesn’t work that way. But man. . .it really came in handy while literally EVERYTHING was going wrong every two seconds.

I don’t think I or her boyfriend would have made it without her.

Every time something went wrong, she was there to say “Don’t worry. We’ve got this. Everything will be okay.”

And when I say things went wrong...I mean... The U-Haul place fucked up, we had less time than we thought, we didn’t get my keys when we thought, there was miscommunication, my car battery died this morning when I was supposed to leave to go get my keys, I can’t even remember all the bullshit we went through these past few days. It was absolutely ridiculous. Not to mention a million things were going on in our personal lives.

But she just kept the morale up and kept everything good and made sure that every time I had a breakdown because the pain and stress was too much, she was right there. And, man, she can take a lot. Along with my mother, she’s the strongest person I know. I must’ve snapped at her a million times. I’m sure her boyfriend did, too. Tensions were incredibly high. But she never once let us down. And she just kept morale up and kept everyone together as a pack and made sure we were all okay. It was absolutely incredible and I have never been more proud of my best friend in my damn life. I wish there was a way to put it into words to tell her without sounding like a corny tsundere dork lol.

Coz I don’t think any of us would have made it through this if it were not for her. She held us all together. She was the glue. I know I would not have made it through all of this without her. There’s still a long way to go, though.

But. . . now I’m heading over to get my internet installed and then I’ll be getting a security system installed a week or so later.

I’m in such excruciating pain I can barely breathe. I feel like I have re-torn my muscles, but who fucking knows at this point.

I’m just drowning myself in these pills for until they run out because I just literally do not have time to deal with being in pain or taking extra time because I’m not able-bodied.

Like. . . I don’t know how the disabled community does it.

How do you function on weeks like this week where you have a million appointments and have to keep a schedule and have loads of schoolwork and are moving and have to get a ton of things done for the new semester and also have to take care of your health on top of everything otherwise you’ll be out of commission even LONGER and also stay on top of all these deadlines and make sure you’re budgeting and eating and hydrating and watching out for your friends and calling everyone back and family and I just....

:| :| :| Haha. I feel exhausted, but this is almost over and I hope to FUCK it’ll calm down after we are both all moved in and everything is set up. I’m estimating a week or two before everything calms down, though. Which sucks because I’m gonna be in excruciating pain the entire time and I won’t have any time to stop. I’ll just keep waking up, popping a million pills. . .and then hoping for the best as I go through the motions.

If ANYONE can send me positive vibes or inspiration throughout the weeks, I would appreciate it!

Transitioning to living alone when you’ve just had great fun with your roommates and friends moving is a lonely time. But it’s so worth it in the end. I hope. I’ll make it work somehow.

Gotta head back over to my new apartment and uh. . .well, start unpacking and getting things in order until the internet installation guy gets there. At least...unpacking what I can. I really can’t do much in this state. :| Yeesh!!

Love you all! I haven’t forgotten you! And yes, K, I see your messages...they’re keeping me going. Thank you so much for all of them. I love you. I hope you know that.

Bye for now!!

-KQR

#personal #oh my GOD #kill me haha #update

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