#sending so much love to you dearest!!! doesn’t matter is not my birthday anymore this means the world to me regardless

[pretentiouswreckingball]

hiiii hi loopsie my love!!!! i’m so sorry this is a bit late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING MWAH xx hope u had the best day i love u so so very much you’re an absolutely gorgeous person + you brighten up my life very much <3 so so glad to be your friend iluuu xx here is a bouquet of gardenias and jasmine for youuu <333

Thea 🥺 I still have your mango’s from last year but this bouquet,,,,, oh this beautiful thing,,,,, can’t believe you remember gardenias and jasmine’s are my favorites 😭❣️ thank you so much for always taking the time to do such marvelous work I am in awe of your talent and your kindness, I am going to treasure this forever I love you so very much, thank you 😭🥹❣️❣️❣️❣️

[starrynite7114]

everything is you: six

A/N: Good afternoon! Sorry for taking so long to update, have not been in a good mindset and still not, but I want to post this just to give you guys something. It’s been hard and my confidence in my writing has been shit. It’s not something I like sharing, but just wanted to be honest with you all. I just want to thank you all for giving me such nice messages regarding my finals, it was awful, but definitely glad to have it over with. 

Currently, Snapshots and Misconstrued is almost done, just trying to work some things out with it. Two Weeks part two should be coming  up soon as well along with three requests. I’m updating the request list later, if you do not see your request, feel free to message me. 

Also, got a Rio/Reader/Angel story on the horizon. 

Thank you all for your patience and support. Hope you all enjoy this update! Love you all!

I would also like to thank @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat​ & @justahopelessssromantic​ <3 

Also, happy birthday @losolvidad0s​ <3

everything is you

one : two : three : four : five

Word count: 8088

Warnings: Angst

Masterlist tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic​ : @ifoundmyhappythought​ : @carlaangel86​ : @woahitslucyylu​ : @encounterthepast​ : @enamoured-x​ : @whyisgmora​ : @briana-mishell24​ : @bribri-82​ : @briannab1234​ : @chibsytelford​ : @agirllovespasta​ : @twistnet​ : @everyhowlmarksthedead​ : @trulysuccubus​ : @jadert15​ : @sammskellington​ : @cind-in-real-life​ :  @claytoncardenasbabymama​ : @sadeyesgf​ : @thickemadame​ : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass​ : @gemini0410​ : @elcococruz​ : @samcrobae​ : @sesamepancakes​ : @iambabyharry​ : @blackmissfrizzle​ : @soamayansfangirl​ : @1-800-imagines​ : @phoenixhalliwell​ : @lady-pswrld​ : @dazzledamazon​  : @getyourcrayoncas​ : @fvckthisbxtchup​ : @lukealvxz​ : @scuzmunkie​ : @lilac-tea-time​ : @danie1432​ : @cocotheclown​ : @soaronmywings​ : @my-rosegold-soul​ : @buttercup812​ : @itskiranbitch​ : @angelreyesgirl​ : @sheeshgivemeabreak​ : @vicmackeybullshxt​ : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer​ : @khyharah​ : @strawberrywritings​ : @cherry-icetea​ : @fuzzy-jellyfish​ : @losolvidad0s​ : @brownsugarcoffy​ : @courtrae89​ : @prdsdjarin​​ : @blessedboo​​ : @marvelmaree​​ : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat​​ : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ : @thesandbeneathmytoes​

As always, if you want to be added to the tag list or do not see your name, please let me know!

Alena laughed as Victor told her about his younger brother Richard and all the mischief they used to partake in when they were younger. She’s met Richard a few times and he was quite a charming guy, but he definitely was not as charming as Victor.

He was the oldest of the two and their parents passed away when they were younger. The only family they had, the only family they cared for was Eddie Johnson, Alena’s boss. Victor was Eddie’s nephew, his self-proclaimed favorite nephew, though Richard states the same phrase as well. Alena liked being around them since she reminded them of her own little family. 

“Are you going with Mr. Johnson next week to Bali?” 

“No, I passed this time around since you respectfully declined yet again.” Victor wasn’t sure what it was about Alena. She was a cute girl, but she was hardly his type. But he gravitated towards her. His Uncle Eddie always raved about her and he had to get to know her. Much like her, he had a shared love for art and was actually a gallerist for a few well known painters and sculptors. Victor didn’t do it much since he found himself working at his uncle’s much more often, mostly due to Alena.

For years, they’ve become closer and closer and he learned more and more about her. And due to that, he fell harder and harder. At times he felt like an idiot for doing so, she was married, no matter what the status of her relationship with Angel was, he knew Angel had a hold over her. He wasn’t sure if it was gratitude, his son or what, but whenever she spoke about Angel, her whole face would brighten up. But he also had the greatest control over her emotions. He doesn’t think Angel purposely yo-yo’s his feelings for Alena, but it frustrated him.

Alena should move on and be with someone who would proudly tell people that they were in love with her. Not someone who kept her at limbo and had sex with her more frequently than Alena would like to admit to him. He was honestly surprised Alena wasn’t pregnant. 

“I would rather spend some time away from Mr. Johnson, he’s amazing, but I need a break. He might make me work while we’re there.” Alena took a bite of her pasta, letting out a small moan at how good the sauce was. “Absolutely insane how good that is.”

Victor couldn’t help it. Hearing her moan, it made his dick twitch. But he would never push Alena and he was pretty sure this was a friendly dinner and not a date. 

“My grandmother had the best recipes. If you marry me, I can totally share the family recipes.” He winked at her, making Alena blushed. “Speaking of marriage, how is your husband dearest?”

“He’s fine, I’m really sorry about the way he answered the phone the other night. He’s just protective and you know, territorial cause he thinks I won’t be committed to Cruz anymore.” She took a sip of the wine that she bought for their dinner. “I can assure you, there is nothing going on besides coparenting.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“Yes, of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Alena placed some salad on her plate. 

“Come on Alena, we’ve been friends for almost seven years now. You’ve always had a complicated relationship with Angel and now, he tells you he has feelings for you. It’s a rollercoaster ride with him and you deserve someone who is more stable.” He was talking of himself of course, but it was true. Alena didn’t need to be taken on this ride. She deserved more than that. 

“Angel is just projecting or something, he just thinks he’s losing me because I’m interested in you.” Alena looked up at Victor before looking back down at her food. 

He smirked at her admission and lightly chuckled. “You’re interested in me, carina?” It was his nickname for her, cute in Italian. Alena always hoped that Victor would never call her that in front of Angel and she was determined to keep it that way. She knew Angel’s nicknames held special meaning and she didn’t want him thinking that Victor had numerous nicknames for her. It was just one and if she was being honest, it was incredibly adorable.

“Maybe, I don’t know.” Alena sighed, biting her bottom lip, which Victor hated cause all he wanted to do was kiss her. 

“Alena, I would never push you. If you want to give it a shot, that’s fine, but I know the guilt is eating you up cause you’re technically married and you respect the sanctity of marriage.” Victor placed a hand on top of hers. 

Alena couldn’t help but think how much bigger Victor’s hands were compared to hers. She looked up at him and he had that warm smile he always gave her. Victor was always there for her, he was so sweet and always let her do her own pace. He never pushed her or anything. 

Once she and Angel’s divorced was finalized, she would give him a chance. 

“I have a gallery I’m setting up for next week, did you want to come and see how it’s done?” Victor knew of Alena’s passion for art. She was an amazing painter and he really wanted to slightly push her on sharing her work with the world. Hell, he wanted her to go back to school and pursue art so he could get her to do a few gallerist work, maybe even become an art handler. She couldn’t be Uncle Eddie’s assistant forever. 

“Sure! I would love that, when is it again?” Alena excitedly replied. She’s never seen an art gallery be put together before and she would love to experience that. 

“Next Tuesday, it’s at the art gallery a few blocks from our apartment.”

“Sounds good, I’m excited to see the master at work.”

Victor held Alena’s hand as he walked her down to her door, their night was full of laughter, random topics of conversations and just an overall good night. Alena forgot how it was to go on a date with someone and she was glad it was Victor that she went out with. 

“I had a great time.” Alena told him when they stopped in front of her door. 

“Same here on our lovely friendly date.” He teased her. “I’m serious about this Alena, I really want for us to give it a shot when you’re ready.”

Alena was slightly annoyed at the fact that she let herself be blinded by her relationship with Angel, well her non-relationship. He was always so hot and cold. She knew enough about relationships to know it wasn’t worth it. Their relationship was solely for Cruz and she was finally understanding that better and better. 

“I know. Thank you again.” 

Victor nodded his head, his eyes drifting to Alena’s lips. Maybe a little push wouldn’t hurt her. He leaned down, waiting for Alena to back away or anything, but she didn’t. When their lips connected, Alena froze, but eventually relaxed. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. Alena couldn’t help but compare Angel and Victor. Angel’s lips were moist, warm, and so sinfully delicious. And to her surprised, so was Victor’s. The butterflies in her stomach were going wild as Victor’s tongue slipped inside her mouth. 

He eventually pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers. He gave her one more kiss before pulling away. 

“I’m gonna go before this goes any further.” Victor chuckled. “Good night Alena.”

“Good night Victor.” She unlocked her door and leaned against it once it was locked.

God, she was in such trouble. 

============

Carla sat down on Alena’s couch, nursing the wine glass in her hands, completely enjoying her day. They went to the spa like Angel had suggested and it was the best idea ever. Carla watched as Alena smiled as she was texting on her phone. It seemed that her date with Victor went well since she had been texting him nonstop this whole day.

“Dude, put your phone down, you need a break from Victor.” Carla teased her.

“I’m not talking to Victor,” Alena laughed. “Angel is being silly and sending me pictures of him and Cruz.”

Carla had to smile at that. From what EZ told her, Angel finally realized his feelings for Alena, but was just taking his sweet ass time to tell her. The way she saw it, Angel was losing precious time because Alena seemed to be entertaining the idea of starting a relationship with Victor. 

“Ah, the husband. How are things with you and Angel?” Carla placed her wine glass on the coffee table.

“Good, the sex ban went out the door.” Alena had her phone on her lap. 

Carla had to applaud Alena for the valiant effort. She knew that she could just deny Angel for so long. She couldn’t blame her, even though she was with EZ, she could appreciate that Angel was a good looking guy. And she knew of Alena’s attraction to Angel, her love for Angel. It was sad at times knowing how much Alena gave up for Angel, how much she loved him to the point that she became the mother of his child. 

“Told you you couldn’t resist him.”

“He literally woke me up to have sex.” Alena blushed remembering how amazing that night was.

“Has Angel ever not enticed you?” Carla teased.

“Yes, there was like six months where we didn’t do anything because I really didn’t want to do anything with him. He didn’t initiate anything until I was fully comfortable with sleeping with him.” Then she remembered Angel’s words. “Cruz asked Angel for a sibling.”

“Oh, did he?” Carla was more than amused. She’s heard that before. Cruz had been asking Angel for a sibling and it was always the same response, ‘we’ll ask mommy’. Carla was secretly rooting for Angel. She watched them do this dance for so long and always wanted Alena to be happy, she knew that it would be with Angel no matter how much of an idiot he was. As much of an idiot Angel was, Carla always saw how much Angel cared for Alena. He always protected her, was there for her and she was almost sure that Angel almost killed Dante, well deserved.

“Yeah,” Alena shrugged. “But I mean we’re getting divorced in a few months, so maybe his next girlfriend.” She laughed, but Carla knew there was no humor.

“Why do you do that?” 

“Do what?”

“Put yourself down or even believe Angel would let you go.” Carla knew Angel had no plans on signing the divorce papers. “Your Cruz’s mom, do you think that after you get divorced if it even happens, that you would become a stranger?” Carla wasn’t sure if Alena knew what would happen once they got divorced, but it wasn’t what she thought that was for sure. Hell, she didn’t even actually believe that they would get divorced. Angel finally realized he’s in love with her. If there was one thing she knew for certain about Angel, she knew he wasn’t a quitter. Alena has loved Angel for so long, she was certain her friend would never believe it once he confesses. “I love you Alena, but you can be so naive. Angel would never let you go, Cruz would never let you go. I know you somehow believe that you two will get divorced and have shared custody of Cruz, but we both know you don’t want that and Angel doesn’t either.”

“Angel just likes me because of convenience. Otherwise, he would take any other women.” Ailee slightly smiled, looking down at her lap. “He said it himself that he had no feelings for me, and that’s okay.”

“You can’t possibly believe that, Angel is losing his shit because of Victor.”

“Angel is just territorial. I’ve been the one constant in his life and he’s being unreasonable, once he finds someone else to occupy his time, wouldn’t even be an issue.” 

“Stop doing that, come on Alena, give Angel more credit than that.” Carla should help Angel, especially how much of a dick she was when it came to Victor. Besides, all she wanted was for Angel to realize what he had before he lost it. The Reyes brothers could be so dense at times. “Do you,” she paused, not sure if she should even put the idea in Alena’s head cause Angel would have her head. “Do you want to pursue something with Victor?”

Alena looked at her best friend, slightly laughing. She wasn’t sure. Victor has always been there for her, he was a kind man who protected her. He was smart, Cruz liked him, and he wasn’t bad on the eye. But at the same time, Angel, she’s loved Angel for eight years now. She prayed that maybe it would fade, that she would settle with being friends with him, the old cliche, she’d rather have him than not at all. 

Then Cruz happened.

Then they got married.

And now, she was anticipating for them to divorce.

God, she felt like a fool.

She gave up so much for Angel. She didn’t expect him to do the same and she was an adult who made her choice. She never regretted it. But she wished she found someone for herself as well. 

And she felt now that she did. 

She found it in Victor. 

“Yes, once Angel and I are divorce, I want to pursue something with Victor.”

Carla felt her stomach drop and she kind of regretted asking Alena. She knew once she told EZ, it wouldn’t be long before Angel found out. Angel would raise hell knowing him and his temper. Carla wasn’t obtuse to Angel’s feelings for Alena before his own realization. The way he protected her, the way he hung onto her every word, the way he followed her around like a fucking lost puppy, it was endearing and annoying how Alena never realized Angel was in love with her. 

“Don’t use Victor as a rebound, he deserves more than that.”

“I’m not,” Alena weakly defended. “I wouldn’t pursue anything with Victor till I’m fully over Angel.”

“Alena, you’re never going to be over Angel.”

“I can do it, just need some motivation, which is this divorce. Once the papers are filed, I have to keep my distance and just interact with him for Cruz. I can do this.”

“It’s not that I doubt you can do it, I’m sure you could if you truly pushed yourself, but what I’m trying to get through your stubborn ass head is that Angel wouldn’t let you go. Do you not know Angel? He would kill a man for you if you requested for him to do so.” 

“That doesn’t constitute to love Carla. I would do anything for Angel too. I would do anything for you.” 

“Alena, that’s literally not my point.” 

“Carla, please, don’t do that. This is the reason that the hope has never faded. I want to remain friends with Angel and co-parent for Cruz’s sake. I thought you wanted me to move on, to find my way away from Angel.” 

“Things change.” Carla didn’t want to tell Alena that Angel was in love with her, that wasn’t her place. But she can dissuade her from thinking of Victor than anything more than as a friend. 

“It doesn’t matter, it’s been five years. Nothing has happened and it’s time to move on.” 

Alena was done. 

It was time to move on from Angel. 

============

“Mama, can we go to the park today?” Cruz questioned as he finished his plate of pancakes.

“Of course baby.” Alena nodded her head, taking another bite from the breakfast sandwich she made for herself.

“May I be excused?”

“You good little man.” Angel let Cruz go. He wasn’t saying he didn’t have manners, but all of Cruz’s mannerism was definitely all Alena. 

Cruz jumped down from his seat, going to the couch to watch some cartoons, something he has done right after breakfast while Alena usually cleaned up. At times he wouldn’t help her, but Alena excused him, since she wanted to talk to Angel. He was finishing up breakfast, chuckling as Cruz enjoyed his PJ Mask.

“Did you get all of your errands done?” Angel questioned. He was relieved when he woke up and Alena was bringing her stuff in this morning. He didn’t want to bug her and seemed needy, but a few times, he was itching to ask her to come home. 

“Yes, I did,” she smiled, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. 

“You know you’re due for your annual eye appointment.” Angel reminded her before he took a bite out of his breakfast sandwich and shoving hash browns right after. 

Angel loved having breakfast with Cruz and Alena. They were a real family and it always had him starting his day on a good foot. Just being able to be with his two favorite people was the best thing in the world.

It always marveled Alena how good Angel was with appointments for her and Cruz. Like routine work, doctor’s office appointments, dental visits and annual eye exams was something Angel kept track of. Her and Cruz’s inhaler and nebulizer refills? Angel was always on it. 

It was quite impressive and she was touched. 

“Am I? How are you so good at this, but forget to put the toilet seat down.” She teased him. She poured more mango juice in her cup, pouring some in Angel’s as well.

Angel chuckled. “I have to make sure you’re well taken care of cause you suck at taking care of yourself.”

“Thanks Angel,” she blushed, which didn’t go unnoticed by Angel. He did it to purposely see her blushing. 

It was so fucking cute. 

“Do you want me to make the appointment?” Angel knew that Alena absolutely loathed talking on the phone. She would become anxious, planning the conversation ahead. So from time to time, he helped her out. 

“No, it’s fine, I can do it.” She appreciated the offer. Angel really took care of her. “You can’t always make my phone calls for me.”

“That is true, but I would do anything for you cielo.” He kissed the back of her hand making Alena blush again. He chuckled. “Eres tan linda.(You’re so cute).”

They continued to eat, Angel updating Alena of the recent club happenings. She was hesitant to bring up Victor, but if she wanted a chance on normalcy, she would have to start somewhere.

“So, Victor and I went out and it was nice, we went to a museum then we had dinner at his place.” Alena paused, if they were ever going to become normal or whatever the fuck they were before Cruz, she had to talk to Angel like he was her friend, not tip toe around him. “And he kissed me.”

Angel choked on the mango juice he was drinking, looking at Alena like she grew another head. “Excuse me, what?”

“Yeah, we kissed at the end of our date.  It was nice, he was very sweet. Potential, once we get divorced.” 

Angel was fucking losing it. Did he fucking enter the twilight zone that Alena was nonchalantly talking to him about going on a date with Victor and kissing him. 

And divorce?

Maybe she’ll change her mind when he tells her how he loves her and how he wants to be with her. That he was an idiot for not moving quicker and just letting everything hang in the air. Communication hasn’t been his greatest asset, but he was going to try for her. 

He would never force Alena to stay with him, but he knew her actions were a consequence of his own doing.

“Alena, what are you doing?” 

She looked at him oddly as she took Cruz’s plate, placing it on top of hers.

“Nothing, I’m telling you about my date.” 

“You’re telling your husband about a date you went on?” Angel tried to say it in a way so she could see how insane she sounded. He knew what she was doing, trying to normalize this insane notion of her and Victor being together, to try and become just friends. She has never been just a friend to Angel.

“Yes, we’re friends right? And we know what this is. The divorce papers should be ready in the next few weeks and once it’s signed, we’re both free to,” she thought for a moment, “publicly do what we want.”

Yep, Alena had him fucked up.

“Divorce papers? Who agreed to a divorce?” Angel didn’t like this at all. He fucked up. He should have told Alena so that they could be talking about having more kids not fucking dates and divorce papers.

“We did, a few years back remember?” Alena wasn’t sure where this surge of confidence was coming from, but this was to protect herself. She’s loved Angel for so long and he was always so hot and cold, he didn’t know where to place her so she’ll do it for him.

“Alena, I don’t have any plans on ever signing those papers, you want to file them, go ahead, but we both know you don’t want for us to get divorced.” Angel shook his head in disbelief. This was partly his own doing, but he knew what Alena was trying to do. She was taking initiative since he’s been so back and forth with her. But he was taking initiative too. Alena was his wife, and they’ll remain that way. “You kissed him?"

"Yes,” Alena noticed then that Angel was stoic, keeping his emotions at bay which he did when he was trying his best to control himself. “I'm sorry, I don't know how it happened." She wasn’t certain why she apologized, but she felt that she had to do so. They were married.

"You said you had errands." Angel reminded her of her lie. Since when did Alena lie to him?

"I did and Victor wanted to go to dinner and a museum. I just, it just happened." 

“Did you sleep with him?” Angel stood up.

“No, of course not.”

“Yes because just kissing him is so much better.” Alena watched as Angel placed a kiss on Cruz head as he was sitting on the couch, watching television. He looked up at him confused. "I got shit to handle at the club, I'll be back late, don't wait up." Angel grabbed his kutte.

"Angel, please, I'm sorry." Alena wasn't even sure why she was apologizing. Angel had told her that he didn’t have anything to do today except be with them. “We’re just friends.”

“I don’t like Victor, you’ve never lied to me before and since this whole thing started you started lying to me.” Angel frowned. “If there was nothing to worry about you wouldn’t hide it and you wouldn’t excitedly tell me about a kiss you two shared.” Angel turned to face her as his hand gripped the doorknob. “Do you love Victor?”

"What?" That was ridiculous, she didn’t love Victor. 

"Do you love Victor?"

"No." And she didn’t. 

"Do you want to be with him?"

"I don’t know.” And she didn’t know. 

"Don’t know?” Angel let out a chuckle. “Sure doesn't seem like it."

============

Alena sat down at the park bench, Cruz in perfect line of sight for her. He was in the sandbox playing with a few other kids. She took out the book EZ had recommended for her a few weeks ago and opened it to the latest page she was on. Every once in a while, she would look up to check on Cruz. It made her anxious when they went to the park since she read so many horror stories of kids just disappearing. She wouldn’t know what she would do if Cruz disappeared while he was with her. 

She’s been trying to text Angel all day, but he hasn’t responded to her. In hindsight, she could understand why he hadn't responded to her, but she was hoping he would at least let her know he was okay. Maybe she approached it wrong and could have done it in a better way, but she didn’t know how else to do so. She was trying to go back to normal with Angel, whatever normal was for them two. They were friends once and were able to talk about anything, but it was different now. 

Though maybe it was disrespectful to speak about a date to her supposed husband.

“That’s a good book.” She heard someone comment beside her. “Don Quixote.”

She looked up and smiled at the person, thanking her. She noticed the tattoo on her neck, which was actually beautiful. The young woman before her was beautiful as well. Her pale skin was in contrast to her dark green jacket. She wasn’t sure why she was wearing a jacket since it was scorching hot in Santo Padre right now. But she definitely looked cute. 

“You’re Angel’s wife.”

Common knowledge in Santo Padre, not odd whatsoever. 

“Yes, I am.” Alena hoped this wasn’t one of those psycho’s who was hoping for her death so they could sweep Angel off his feet. Can they just sweep him off his feet without wishing for her death? Alena no longer wanted to be a part of this conversation, focusing her attention back on the book before her. Being Angel’s wife was quite a pain. Besides the fact he slept with almost fucking everyone in Santo Padre, all these women began to lust after him again after he got a ring around his finger and Cruz by his side. Cruz was a cute kid and it was hard to resist that aspect of Angel’s life, but she wished they would stop confronting her as if it would do something if they did. 

“I’m not here to start any trouble, I just wanted to meet the woman who has Angel’s heart.” Alena looked over at her again and she had a smile on her face, it wasn’t menacing, it was genuine. Woman who had Angel’s heart? Right, cause they’re married. “He speaks of you and your son often.”

“Do I know you?”

“My name is Adelita.” 

Alena almost gasped when the name registered. She was the rebel leader, the one she was convincing Angel to date. God, she was beautiful. 

“Oh,” Alena closed her book then. “Angel speaks of you often as well.” Alena lightly laughed. “I’m quite surprised to see you on this side.” 

“Plans have changed and I wanted to meet you. You have a beautiful son.” Alena and Adelita both looked over at Cruz who waved at his mother. “You’ve sacrificed a great deal for Angel.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“No, he didn’t. Any woman who has chosen to raise a child who is not hers is admirable, though I’m sure it came with great sacrifices.”

“It did, but I don’t regret it. They’re my family.” Alena wasn’t even sure why she was entertaining this conversation, but she had always wanted to meet the woman that Angel admired. “I have to correct your statement though, I don’t have Angel’s heart. I’m sure you know of our circumstances. In a few month’s time, we’ll be divorced so I’m sure you two can pursue whatever relationship you would like to do so then.”

Adelita laughed, shaking her head. “Angel did tell me you were planning to get a divorce.” It was comical for her since Alena and Angel were telling the stories differently. On one hand for Alena, their agreement has come to an end and it was time for the divorce. For Angel, she overheard him mentioning the divorce EZ as they drove her to her destination a week earlier and how he had no plans of divorcing her. 

Alena smiled, nodding her head. “Yes we are, will you be staying on this side of the border from now on? To be closer to Angel?”

“I think you misunderstood Alena, Angel and I only have a purely business relationship. He is quite an attractive man, but his attention is solely on you.” Adelita stood up then, Alena standing up as well. She stuck her hand out, which Alena took. “You are quite remarkable Alena Reyes, you have made a good man out of Angel.”

Adelita walked away then, leaving Alena speechless. She wondered why she even came to see her. She felt a pull on her skirt and looked down at Cruz.

“Mama, who was that?”

“Just one of daddy’s friends.” She ran her fingers through Cruz’s hair. “Did you want your juice?”

Cruz nodded his head. Alena took the juice out of the little cooler she had for Cruz’s snacks and drinks. Handing it to Cruz, she wiped the sweat on his face and back, making sure he was hydrated. 

“Mama, can I have a little brother or sister?” 

Alena wanted to laugh at Cruz’s request. It’s not like she thought Angel was lying, but Cruz has never asked her about having a sibling.

“You want a sibling?” Alena sat him on her lap, pressing her cheek against his head. “How many do you want?”

“Um, five.”

“Did you tell Daddy that?” 

Cruz nodded his head as he drank his juice. “Daddy says he wants, um,” Cruz thought for a moment. “He said he wanted 8.”

Alena let out a baffled laugh. 8 kids? Was Angel going to carry them all? What was up with her boys and wanting a handful of children running around.

“And when you ask Daddy, what does he tell you?”

“He says we have to ask you because you’re the boss.”

Alena shook her head. Her boys were too much at times. 

“How about a puppy first?”

============

Alena yawned as she exited the bathroom. She almost screamed when she found Angel sitting at the edge of their bed, fidgeting with the keys he had. 

“Angel?” She called out questioningly. No answer. He continued to fiddle with the keys. “Babe?”

Angel looked up, his watery eyes immediately got Alena. She quickly walked over to him and cupped his face.

“You okay? What’s wrong?” She frowned as the tears fell from his eyes. The scratches on his face worried her. She moved away to grab the first aid kit, but Angel grabbed her elbow and pulled her against him.

He had his head on her chest, arms tightly around her. “Please don’t leave me cielo, you’re the only person I have.”

“I would never leave you Angel.” She ran her fingers through his hair. She knew he was crying, the way his shoulders were shaking.

“You and Cruz are my family, I can’t lose you. I would go insane.” 

“Angel, you’re not going to lose me.” She pulled away, cupping his face as she wiped the tears. Angel rarely cried and when he did, she was the one who caught him and provided relief. “I’ll always be here for you.” She kissed him, knowing Angel needed some type of reassurance and it was the first thing that came to her head. 

Angel pulled her to his lap, Alena straddling him. He wrapped his arms around. One of Alena’s hands cradling his face, while the other arm wrapped around his neck. She pulled away, leaning her forehead against his. God, that kiss was definitely different when compared to Victor. When she kissed Angel, she felt that if she wasn’t sitting on Angel’s lap, her knees would go weak, her body going limp. All the worries they both had were wiped out since they were the only two people in this world, everything else blurred out.

“What’s wrong?” Alena asked.

“Ezekiel betrayed me.” Angel plopped down the bed, Alena still on his lap. 

She frowned, getting off his lap and moving to sit beside the top half of his body. “What happened?” She intertwined their hands, waiting for Angel to talk.

And when he did, he told her everything. 

At the end of the story, Angel had his head on Alena’s chest, her fingers running through his hair. His arms were wrapped around her middle as Angel listened to her heart. Alena was in shock that this all occurred. She always thought it was too good to be true for EZ to get out, but she believed that the cop may have been corrupt or whatever excuse they had given. She worried the most for Angel, his relationship with Felipe was starting to mend due to Cruz and now, she knew Angel’s trust was shattered. 

“What can I do to make it better?” Alena broke the silence that befell them after he finished his story.

“Just don’t leave me.”

“Other than that, you already know I won’t leave you.” Alena kissed the top of his head. 

“Can we have a baby?”

“If you carry it, absolutely.”

Alena and Angel both laughed. She playfully smacked him upside the head, causing Angel to flinch. He loved laying his head on her chest, just listening to her heart beating. At times, it even lulled him to sleep, but he knew sleep wouldn’t be coming soon. 

“He’s your brother Angel, I know you’re hurting, but hear him out.”

“No,” Angel’s tone was firm and left no room for argument. “You’re my family now, you, Cruz and your family are mine. I was always the outsider, but not anymore. I have a family of my own and none of our kids will ever feel second best to any of their siblings.” 

“Okay babe.” 

Angel knew this was the perfect time to tell her he loves her, to show her how much he loves her, but he wanted to settle this whole thing with Ezekiel. Once it was done, he would tell Alena everything and from them on, as it’s always been, it would be the two of them against the world. 

“I met Adelita.”

Angel froze, his eyes widening. He sat up, looking down at Alena who propped herself using her forearms. “What?”

“Yeah, she came up to me while we were at the park.” Alena noticed how uncomfortable Angel became and sat up as well, placing her hand on his. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s not weird at all. She’s beautiful and I think you two would make a good couple.” 

Angel gave Alena an incredulous look and shook his head. “Did she do anything? Say anything?”

“No, she just said she wanted to meet me and she thought I was remarkable, which was kind of odd if you think about it. I’m not the leader of some rebellious group that is giving the cartel a run for their money.” Alena went under the covers then, just so she could hide when Angel broke the news to her about him and Adelita. “You okay?” She noticed how tense Angel was. 

He was livid. How dare Adelita approach Alena. He told her, his family was off limits. No Alena. No Cruz. No Felipe. He played her game and helped her as much as he could, she should have at least respected his wishes. 

“What did she tell you?” 

“That she wanted to meet the woman who had your heart.” Alena turned to Angel, resting her head against her propped hand. “Did she meet her?”

Angel wanted to laugh at the irony and slowness of Alena. “Cielo, it’s you.”

“Look, I think we should clear the air.” Alena was surprised by her own words. She was never to be the one to clear the air and after what happened with Ezekiel, this may not be the right time, but they were here now. “I know you said you haven’t slept with anyone since we got married, which I believe you, but I just want you to know that you don’t have to try and salvage things here. We’ve always known what it was and that’s fine. Maybe we shouldn’t have sex anymore so it doesn’t,” Alena looked up at Angel when she noticed she was looking at his ringed fingers that had dried blood on it. “We should clean the blood off.” 

“So it doesn’t what?” 

“It doesn’t confuse us further.” She got out of bed and grabbed a wet cloth. She sat in front of Angel wiping off the dried blood from his knuckles. 

“I would never force you to be intimate with me Alena, we both know I can respect your boundaries.” Angel watched as Alena cleaned his wounds.

“I know, which is why I’m putting up my boundaries again. I want us to be able to be friends after all of this.”

“Alena, do you honestly think that’s going to make things better? I already told you, I have feelings for you and that’s not going to go away because you decide we’re not going to have sex. We’ve done it before, remember? Six months, no sex, which is fine, I would never force you. The most I did was kiss your neck.” Angel remembered that. Alena had asked him to back off, which he did, she eventually came to him on his birthday and after that, they’ve been intimate ever since. “It didn’t do anything for how I felt about you Alena, it just made me feel like you didn’t want me.”

“You’re so hot and cold Angel, I don’t even think you know what you want.” Alena sighed. “I don’t want to fight, you had such a long day and it’s almost six in the morning.” 

Angel stood up. “I’m gonna go see pops.”

“Angel, I, I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’ll never lose me Alena. I know I’ve been an asshole, I’m hot and cold, but I truly have feelings for you. Just give me time to fix all this shit with EZ and once it’s done, we can figure us out.” Angel walked over to her and kissed her. “I’ll see you later.”

Alena sat on their bed and sighed. The butterflies in her stomach were still running rampant after Angel’s words. She believed him, she really did, but he would most likely change his mind tomorrow.

She didn’t want to be with Victor, that was for sure.

At least not right now. Not when she was still irrevocably in love with Angel. 

============

Angel sat beside Coco on the couch as he finished his session with the tattoo artist. It’s been a whirlwind of a day and as much as he wanted to go home, he needed space from Alena. With everything going on, he didn’t know where they could go. Of course, confessing to Alena was still in the plan, but after Adelita came to see her, Angel just felt shaken. He never wanted to involve Alena in this, but he told her everything. She was like his journal, non judging and took everything in. The most important thing for her was him and Cruz, how it would affect them.

It would kill him if something happened to Alena and Cruz. 

“Alena texted me, have you spoken to her?” Coco questioned as he sat down next to his brother, letting out a puff of smoke from his mouth.

“I told her we were here and that I would be staying the night. Why?” His eyes drifted over to his brother who was currently getting the tattoo.

“You know Adelita came to see her?”

“She told me, why, what’s going on?” Did Adelita go to see her again? Did someone else? He took his phone out and there were no messages from Alena.

“I don’t know, I just don’t feel comfortable with her visiting Lenny.” Coco shrugged.

“You think I fucking do?” Angel sighed. “She isn’t going to harm Alena.”

“I don’t think she is, but I’m sure Alena’s mind is running wild.” Coco knew how deeply Alena felt for Angel. During times that Angel had a run that would take him away from Alena and Cruz for longer than he wanted which was basically a day, so Coco would stay with Alena. 

And when he did, he let her let loose and have a few drinks with him.

============

Alena giggled as she took another shot. Korean Vodka, Soju, was Alena’s favorite, specifically the apple flavor. Coco had come to take a liking of it as well and they were three bottles deep. Alena’s cheeks were red, a clear sign of her intoxication. She also had no filter, which Coco enjoyed thoroughly. 

“You know I feel stupid for taking on a role I always wanted, but not under this circumstances.” Alena rested her cheek on her palm, giving Coco a small smile. “I love Cruz so much though, I feel like he is my kid.”

“Alena, Cruz is your kid. He’s so attached to you.” Coco was surprised that Cruz didn’t throw a bigger fuss whenever Alena went back to San Diego. Though, it was a hit or miss. When he threw a big fuss, Alena would take him to San Diego, Angel following behind after a few days. Their dynamic was fucking odd, but who likes normal anyway?

“Sometimes I wish he really was, that Valeria wasn’t his mom.” Coco watched as Alena’s face scrunched up. “I was going to confess to him when he told me Valeria had his kid. I was going to tell him that I was in love with him, that I was going to Paris and if he didn’t feel the same, it was okay.” She began to cry then, letting her tears fall. “I love Angel so much, it hurts at times. But I’m happy where we are no matter how fake our relationship is. Being here for him, to raise Cruz with him, it’s more than I can ask for.”

Coco frowned at Alena’s words. He and Gilly always spoke about Alena’s love for Angel, how idiotic she could be, but at the same time, they admired her greatly. She had the purest kind of love for Angel. She didn’t become angry when he was with another person. She doesn’t hold grudges against him or anyone for that matter. She didn’t become angry when she felt rejected. She loved him unconditionally without any expectations and Coco was envious of that. They were all a bunch of misfits who did not have the best relationships with their families, they found a family in one another. Then they have Alena, someone they definitely don’t fucking deserve, who loves them as well, as an extension of her love for Angel.

When he first met her, he couldn’t believe this young woman was fucking hanging around Angel. He was closed off, but she always went out of her way to make sure he was taken care of along with Angel. And from then on, they became closer and closer. Seeing her hurting like this, it hurt him, his younger sister was suffering cause his brother was a fucking idiot.

He was certain Angel felt greatly for her too, with Cruz around, it just wasn’t the main priority. 

“Alena, you know you deserve better. You should have gone to Paris.” Coco was the one who encouraged Alena to go to Paris. Was it a dick move? Maybe, but Angel didn’t know what he had, perhaps it would have woken him up. She refused to tell him though. And he knew why. Angel would have begged her to stay and she couldn’t say no to him.

“Yeah, I should have. But when I met Cruz, I couldn’t. He looked so much like Angel. He deserved a chance to be a father. I wasn’t going to let Valeria take that away from him.” Alena wiped her tears, laughing at her silliness. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying. I like it when you come and stay with me, I miss spending time with you and the others.”

“Yeah, Angel fucking locked you down here or something ever since you two got married.” Coco teased. They held no hard feelings towards Angel. He was always protective of Alena, but that increased tenfold when they got married. “But we get it, Cruz is your priority.”

“He is.”

“Alena, it’s okay for you to cry. I know how frustrating it is for you. It’s rare for you to show any frustration, but don’t you just want to scream at times?”

“For what?”

“I’m sure this situation isn’t ideal for you. I know that you always wanted to marry Angel, but not like this.”

Alena smiled. “No, but it’s fine. Angel needs me, Cruz needs me. I’m like the glorified nanny.”

“Stop that shit Lenny, you know you’re not a fucking nanny. You’re Cruz’s mother.” Coco hated hearing Alena put herself down. She was far from a fucking nanny.

“I know, do you think Angel could ever love me?” 

“Alena, it’s hard not to fall in love with you.” 

“He didn’t though.”

Coco watched as Alena took another shot. But Angel was in love with her, he was just too fucking stupid to make a move.

============

“Running wild?” Angel wasn’t sure what Coco meant. Did Alena express to Coco that she was worried about Adelita or disclosed information she didn’t tell him about? If he was honest, he was glad Alena was close to the members, but at times, he felt that she withheld information from him and heard it from Coco instead. 

“I’m sure she thinks Adelita and you are getting together.” Coco regretted telling Alena how much Angel admired Adelita. She just gave him that smile of hers and he knew it got to her. Yet again, she was on the losing end with Angel. His brother really did a number on her.

“Is she fucking insane? I haven’t even touched another woman since we got married.” Angel knew it was easy to assume that he slept around, but he didn’t. He was devoted to Alena and that was that.

But he also knew why Adelita came to see Alena. She’s overheard Angel speak about Alena so much, anyone would be curious. 

They were across the border, bringing some supplies to Los Olvidados when Alena had messaged Angel.

============

Angel chuckled, shaking his head and replying to Alena. He knew there was some international charges, but he didn’t give a fuck. He always kept his phone on in case there was an emergency.

“What Lenny send you?” Coco questioned, trying to peak at Angel’s phone.

Angel moved it closer to his chest, shaking his head. “Nothing man, just Cruz finally jumping in the pool at her apartment building.”

“I still can’t believe you’re okay with her living in San Diego.” Coco chuckled. “You aren’t worried she’s dating people while you’re not there?”

“Careful bro, we don’t need Angel locking her down more than he already has.” Gilly teased Angel, adding to Coco’s statement. 

“Alena doesn’t need anyone, she has me.” Angel scoffed at their suggestion that his precious Cielo would even stray from him.

“Right, does she know that?” Coco was not a fan of Angel’s methods when it came to Alena. For him, he didn’t need to tell her they were it for one another, even though 

“You have a girlfriend?” Adelita surprised the three men. She was attracted to Angel and she honestly thought he was attracted to her, but she’s heard them mention the name Alena plenty of times. She thought she was just the mother of his child. 

“No, Alena’s my wife.” Angel showed his left hand.

Adelita smiled, nodding her head. “She’s a lucky woman. How long have you two been together?”

“Four years.”

“She must be one hell of a woman to have tamed you.”

Coco chuckled. “You have no idea.”

============

“I literally told Alena, it’s me and her. Always has been since we got married.” Angel extinguished his cigarette, shoving it down on the ashtray. 

“Hermano, you know why she’s like that. Talk to her. Communication is key.” Coco smirked. “And from what you told us, it’s not you and her anymore. She went on a date with Victor.”

“Victor is nothing. He’s a fucking pretentious asshole.”

"You would like Victor if he wasn't making moves on your girl. Told you, a girl like her would just stay single for so long. Her kindness was always beyond you, and someone finally noticed her. It's the day you always feared hermano, what are you going to do about it?"

"It's too fucking late for the church of Coco."

[flightfoot]

Trials of Apollo Fanfiction recs/my Trials of Apollo Fanfiction Masterpost repost

So originally I was just collecting other people’s trials of apollo fanfics, but then I started writing my OWN fanfics and needed a place to link to them on my blog, so I combined them! Like with my other Masterposts, I will keep the original version of the post updated.

Olympian Pain by @authorgirl1111: Shows all the Olympians - plus several other gods - reactions to Apollo’s deadly quest in The Burning Maze, and their efforts to help him. Well, usually help him.

Demigod’s Grief by @authorgirl1111: Sequel to Olympian Pain. Shows all the demigods’ reactions to the events of TBM and of Olympian Pain.

Do gods have pity? by @moodyseal: Python’s defeated. Or so they think. He gets in one last shot…

Pretty much all of @garecc‘s Of Immortal stories. There are twenty of them currently, I’m not gonna list them all individually.

Were I that Burning Star by @californiannostalgia: Apollo interacting with various other gods after the events of TOA.

Fading by timelessmemories20: Apollo thinks about how he’s forgetting his life as a god, and he worries.

Wake Up Call by @bubblegumwitchswriting: Hermes visits Meg and Apollo.

The 6 weeks verse by AppleJuice(Capolleon): An AU of the 6 weeks after The Hidden Oracle. Contains a lot of Apollo, Leo, Calypso bonding, and a little bit of Meg.

The Lullabies We’ve Forgotten by Eternal_State_Of_Voorpret: Meg becomes a pianist.

Promise by TheEternalEmpress: Apollo makes a promise to Meg.

How to grow Hyacinths with Love and Care by timmy_cardiac: Meg teaches Apollo how to grow hyacinths.

Grief by oneshotagency: Reactions to Jason’s death.

The Sun’s Rays by Wyrenfire: A collection of oneshots centered around Apollo.

Bid Them Goodbye by emolyy03: Another fic of reactions to Jason’s death. This one includes Apollo’s reaction, though, which is rare to see.

Jason Grace and the Demigods of Asgard by Darkanny: Jason died with a weapon in hand and is taken to Hotel Valhalla.

Wildfire by Emily_P: Nico senses Jason’s death, and informs Percy and Annabeth.

Waking in the Night by Hyaunty: Apollo bleeds out and dies, cold and alone on the forest floor.

a ficlet by @avid-author-activist: Apollo tells Thalia what happened to Jason.

Another ficlet, this one based on a writing prompt, by @fallensun:  A universe where everything is the same except Apollo actually acted hurt from Cade and Mikey

Trials of Apollo One-shot Series by ArtJunkyard: The sun crashes into the ground in front of Apollo and Meg. A familiar face is behind the wheel.

A Spark of Hope by @moodyseal: Annabeth and Percy arrive at Camp Jupiter after Caligula’s second attack on the camp. By the ruins and the expressions on the Campers faces, they knew there’d been tragedy. But they hadn’t been told of the tragedy that had befallen one of their dearest friends.

A Cruel Occasion by @seductivegrapethrowing: Apollo goes on some date nights with Commodus. Commodus makes a request.

Something I’d wish I’ve never had to do by mad_chesch: fanfiction of The Trials of Apollo one-shot series. Apollo has to tell Lester’s mom about what happened to her son.

Six Weeks Stuck in the Backseat of a Bronze Dragon by Blue_Rive: Apollo’s, Calypso’s, and Leo’s road trip during the six week gap between THO and TDP.

The Moon Shines Brighter Than The Sun by @moodyseal: Apollo and Meg get lost in the woods.

Hogwarts School of Divinity by ArtJunkyard: ToA x Harry Potter crossover. Apollo knows which House he DOESN’T want to get sorted into.

Why’d you steal my bag/Guess I have to help you get to class/Whoops I guess we’re friends by @neela-chaan: Hogwarts AU. Apollo makes a friend.

Where Fate Lies by MsAngelAdorer: Emmie’s life from when she was a kid through TDP.

A ficlet by @authorgirl1111: Apollo’s essence is consumed by Caligula.

The Sun Between The Fangs by @naehja: Apollo is captured by Commodus during the events of TDP and promptly passed along to Python. The gods and demigods search for Apollo, trying to rescue him before he dies - or worse.

blind dates by @neela-chaan: Britomartis is a Litpollo shipper. Maybe. Probably. Or she just likes blowing people up. It’s probably the latter.

*Insert bs poetic title here* by @neela-chaan: Lit adjusts to life at the Waystation. He has scars from all those years living under abusive authority figures, but his new family tries to help as best they can.

———————————————————————————————–

My fanfiction:

Breaking Free:  Apollo’s dead, and Meg is summoned by Zeus to face the consequences. But she will not allow anyone, even Zeus, to push her around anymore

Delos Days: Sequel to Breaking Free. Meg, Artemis, and Leto take baby Apollo to Delos to recover and grow up a bit.

Convalescence:  Sequel to Delos Days. Apollo has started regaining his memories and his ability to speak as he grows, including the memories of the people he’s lost… and those he’s afraid he might lose. Meg, Artemis, Apollo, and Leto make their way to Camp Half-Blood to reunite Apollo with his mortal family. But not all the reunions are happy ones.

Second Chances: Sequel to Convalescence. Apollo and Meg journey to the Underworld so Meg can claim her domain, and give a second chance to a lost soul.

Nightmares: This was a prompt fill for a post asking people to imagine Apollo in THO comforting one of his younger children after they have a nightmare, allowing them to crawl into bed with him and generally being a good dad.

Memories of Godly Selfishness Masterpost:

A Convergence of Apollos:  Percy’s having a bad day, and Grover’s having an even worse birthday. The god Apollo has tasked them with bringing back one of his rogue automatons by sunset, something that neither of them want to do, but they don’t have much choice in the matter. Then two kids fall out of the sky, and Percy’s day gets much, much stranger.

Last Days of a Meat Puppet: Part of the Papadopoulos Fam AU created by ArtJunkyard.  Lester Papadopoulous wasn’t some empty shell that Zeus shoved Apollo’s soul into… at least he didn’t used to be.

Commodury:  Commodus elects to send one of his minions to kill Apollo and his friends instead of trying to kill them himself. Nothing unusual or alarming about that… until they found out who his minion IS.

[letsgobethegoodguys]

Merry Christmas!

It's Christmas where I live and my family is celebrating today. I just wanted to take a moment to celebrate all of my lovely friends here (whether you celebrate Christmas today or not!) and wish you all a happy day!! So I'm going to spend some time gushing about each of you darlings here! If I could send each of you a gift, I would. But this will have to do for now. 🎁

Here we go! 💖

@iamadreameroftheday - we're not friends because of Tumblr but you ARE my friend (read: best friend) and you ARE on Tumblr. You mean the entire world to me, Abigail. 🥺 You've encouraged me in literally everything that I've done and you make me smile every single day. I'm grateful to Supernatural for bringing us together. We'll be holding hands again so soon, darling, and I can't wait! 💞 I love you, forever and always.

@kylermalloy - my soulmate!! I'm so glad we found each other, Kyler dear. 💛 You're always so supportive about everything. And it's been so special to be able to talk about both fandom things and real life things with you. I think you can tell a friendship is really special when you lose sleep for each other and we've certainly done that! I cherish our late night and day-to-day conversations. I'm proud of your accomplishments and I'm blown away by your ability to analyze characters and you KNOW your prose is just my favorite. I love you and I'm grateful for you!!

@poughkeepsies - my chILD!! Setareh, you've made me cry with laughter many times. You're genuinely so funny and quick on your feet - it's amazing. Also, you're incredibly kind and thoughtful. You've come to my messages to cheer me up and written beautiful fanfic for my birthday (🥺). You make such stunning edits and fanvids too! I'm proud of you, my creative darling! You're the Loki to my Thor and I love you like crazy.

@aihoshiduo Morgan!!! I'm so glad that I met you! You're incredibly kind and you've given up a lot of your time to talk to me and even make beautiful things for me! (Anyone who hasn't seen the gifsets she made for me should go check them out). I'm still sure we'll hug each other someday - ily! 💕

@danielhowall Taylor. My unicorn-haired angel! I know we don't talk as much anymore but that doesn't even matter because it always feels just the same whenever we do talk. 💜 You're an incredibly generous person and I love your passionate heart. I'm so thrilled that I met you all those months ago. I love you!

@ohsamulet My dearest Chrissie!!! I know you're not as active now but my heart leaps every time I see you posting. Your gifs are breathtaking and you're so fun to talk to. We're definitely kindred spirits, you and I. ✨

@thelegendofwinchester Sweet Naila! You have been so encouraging and lovely since I first met you. You've made me cry with your gorgeous writing and made me smile with your kind comments. You're one of the reasons I felt confident enough to keep sharing my writing once I started. I LOVE YOU 🤗

@spnxbookworm I hope you'll see this, darling Sanjana. You've been a beacon of joy since I first stepped foot in the Supernatural fandom on Tumblr. You've randomly dropped in my inbox just to make me smile. And you're such a gifted writer. Thank you for everything. 🥺

@feathersinthesky Aldana! I know we've only talked a little but I LOVE seeing you in my notifs. You're so sweet and your love for that soft angel named Castiel is just precious. ❤

@wanderingcas Sam!! I know we became friends very recently but your smooth and distinctive writing style is an inspiration to me! And you're just such a wonderful person to talk to. 🥰

@sealionsam Oh my goodness, Lauren!!! Your artistic talent absolutely blows me away. And you're just such a positive and lovely person to talk to?? You've even gone out of your way to cheer me up after reading my tags. I'm grateful to know you!!

@flightoftheseraph one of the most passionate Jack fans I know. 😊 Sawyer, I absolutely love your blog and you seem like such a nice person! I'm glad we're mutuals!

@petrichoravellichor Petra, you've been so sweet and encouraging to me for so long and I'm so grateful! Your beautiful comments on my writing absolutely melt my heart. I love seeing your passion for every character on Supernatural. 💓

@thewindsofwinchester We’re pretty new friends, Penny. But we definitely have some fun loves in common (like the Beatles!) and I hope we get to know each other better! I can’t believe one of our first interactions was you just mocking me under one of my posts asldkhgds

[leviosarpg]

Congratulations, GRACIE! You have been accepted for the role of VENUS ROWLE! Gracie, this app was p h e n o m e n a l. Venus is a character that’s rather hard to capture, simply because I think it’s so easy to veer away from her dark side, but you charged straight ahead and managed to illuminate the cruel ugliness of Venus so perfectly, my stomach is still churning from the sample app (in the best possible way). “The world won’t be kind to girls like me, why shouldn’t I treat it the same?” Gracie, this line was utter perfection and somehow manages to sum up Venus’s character flawlessly, explain her motivations, and provide such a wonderful insight into her mind. Venus is a taker, but more importantly, she’s someone with the ability to take what she wants, something this app highlighted effortlessly. I can’t wait to have Leviosa’s diamond on the dash!

Your faceclaim change to: Eliza Scanlen has been accepted. Don’t forget to send in your account to the main and complete the items listed on the CHECKLIST!

THE PLAYER

name/age/pronouns/timezone: Gracie/24/she her/ est 

THE CHARACTER

desired role: Venus Rowle- I love the poisonous princess, the girl who is not in danger; but is the danger. Sickly sweet honey words laced with venom, smiled sharp enough to cut. The little girl who got everything she could possibly want, but took more. She’s coming for the crown, she’s coming for things she doesn’t even want - just because she doesn’t want someone else to have it.

gender/pronouns: cisfemale, she/her

extracurriculars: the harbingers, the slug club

para sample: (tw dubious con - kinda, tw self harm, tw underage? ) not exactly sure how to tag it but better safe than sorry!

He was seventeen, she was fifteen. All golden curls and a high babied voice, Venus Rowle never learned the word no. He was some minor pureblood heir, a Crabbe or some other. But he was beautiful, and she loved the way it felt to have his eyes follow her through the halls. Her friends noticed, and asked her in somewhat awed whispers in the back of charms.

“I am sure I don’t know what you mean.” Her eyes flashed more blue than green, and her smile was triumphant, barely concealed behind a modesty they all knew she didn’t have.

At her father’s Yuletide Party, Venus ignored him outright, dancing with nearly everyone else but him. His eyes never left her twirling golden figure, and she felt the jealousy burning in his gaze, reveling in this as if he were worshipping at her feet like the goddess of her namesake. Venus always knew how to play the game, had felt the heated gaze of men ever since she was 12 and she’d left her sister and childish shape for the curves of a woman. They liked the chase she learned. She learned to laugh and toss her head back joyously, how to place a delicate hand on her cheek, to absentmindedly play with a curl and draw their eyes to her neck like. She could fake demure and purity and goodness and all those other things men think they want.

And so, when she sensed the Crabbe heir was about to admit defeat, she caught his eye, smiled softly, and quickly looked away with a slight flush rising to her cheeks. He followed her into the library like she knew he would, a lovesick puppy leaning in to tuck a stray lock behind her ear. She resisted at first, the way they always wanted young girls to, but gave in to his kisses eventually. Men liked to think they were in charge, that they were the hunter and Venus was the doe eyed prey, quivering in his crosshairs. Men were easy.

After she let him worship the porcelain curves of her body, he buttoned up the back of her velvet dress, kissing her neck and whispering that one word they all wanted to hear. Love. She smiled with venom, and sent him back to the party first while she adjusted her hair in the mirror. Venus felt empty, unsatisfied. The next three nights of the holiday celebration, she ignored him outright. She was so easily bored, and he’d proved to be nothing more interesting than a pretty face and practiced lips.

He told her he’d ask his father for her hand, and she laughed.

On New Years Eve, he no longer followed her with those desperate puppy dog eyes. She saw him across the ballroom, whispering now in the ear of some much plainer girl, Venus thought unkindly. Her eyes flashed red. She didn’t want him, the idea of marriage was laughable to someone so young and burning. But she certainly didn’t want to be so easily replaced. Venus Rowle was the end all be all, not someone you got over in a matter of weeks.

On New Years Day she walked sobbing into her father study, peeling up a long sleeve to show a ring of purple bruises around one delicate wrist. A sleepless night spent in dedication to her plot added to her overall look of fear and shame. She said no, Venus told her parents in between tears, and he’d been so angry she would not go off with him alone and she’d told him and told him it was inappropriate but he gripped her wrist tighter and tighter almost pulling her away from the party so that she had to wrench herself from his grasp to remain pure. She’d found the bruises that morning, she sniffed for effect, and had been so ashamed and not wanted to bring harm to the family name but so afraid. Her mother stroked her hair to quiet the sobs, and, after delicately confirming her virtue was still intact, her father grabbed his cloak and stormed out the front door.

The Crabbe boy was quickly and quietly sent to America, his father bowing to the weight and power of the Rowle name. No one outside of her family ever knew, and he suffered with the unearned reputation of a brute. He wrote to her once, and she set it on fire without even reading it.

Venus might have been named for the goddess of love, but the Latin root should never be forgotten. Venenum, or rather, poison.

OTHERS & EXTRA (OPTIONAL)

May I pretty please change her face to Eliza Scanlen? Thank you!

Venus sometimes resents her sister, particularly on their birthday, a time she feels should be only dedicated to her. She was thrilled when they were sorted into different houses - the sorting ceremony the only time Diana has ever come first, D before V alphabetically.

Diana is too soft, this world will eat her alive, Venus fears. She cannot hide behind books forever, and Venus justifies her cruelty through love. Someone has to toughen up the younger Rowle, why not her own twin, someone who wouldn’t truly hurt her.

Venus has never been as clever as her sister, her marks always lower but really she had never cared that much. Did it matter what one knew of goblin rebellions or how many runes one could translate?

Her magic is surprisingly powerful, though her knowledge is limited. It comes from the violence in her blood, the fire burning in the hollow place in her chest that should hold a heart.

She is utterly cruel, a true Mean Girl, but with the charm and grace of her breeding and blood status. Words like poison laced barbs wrapped in velvet. She can tell you to go fuck yourself in a way that will make you truly want to.

She has almost no real friends, having begun to lose the girls of her childhood to competition or some sort of morality. She sometimes fears that if she truly needed someone, no one would answer the call. In these moments she reaches out to her sister, bothering her in the library and laying her golden head on Diana’s shoulder until she promises to always love Venus.

She isn’t sure when she first noticed Silvanus, likely when she caught the lovesick glint in her sister’s eyes. Venus has never been one to share and has always wanted what others have. He was beautiful and seemed almost kind. He’d be quite fun to ruin, she thinks.

Diary entries - I am obviously willing and happy to change all of the below especially with regards to other characters! Just some early thoughts

January 23

I was in the library last night copying Diana’s History of Magic essay - bored out of my mind. I have no desire to read or write anymore about goblin rebellions or giant wars or any other horrible creature who has been a threat to wizard kind. Sometimes I think we all might be better off if they were simply gone. But that is not a thing one says out loud, and so I will whisper it to you my dearest pages.

Anyway, I was bemoaning to myself the waste of time it is to read about things others have done instead of doing them myself when Riddle & Lestrange came over to sit at my table. Always a pleasant interruption, although I confess any sort of interruption was highly welcome, I had seen the two of them glancing over from across the room. I know how to attract attention, it is as natural as breathing. They came sooner than I’d thought - I am getting quite good.

They are beautiful boys, both tall and dark and brooding. Exactly the type of boy who my mother would say was up to no good. But Lestrange has the name and family wealth, and Riddle - well no one really knows all that much about him but he is brilliant, perhaps the most talented I have ever seen. And his charisma could charm even my overprotective and suspicious parents.

But, my dear friend, they were not interested in any sort of fun distractions. No - they had a proposal (no not that kind either - as if). Grindelwald, they say, wouldn’t dare come to England. They say he’s afraid of Dumbledore. But his ideas need a place to cultivate and take root here, so why not Hogwarts? I raised one eyebrow, perfectly poised on the line between disinterested and inviting. And so they said more. Riddle had ideas, plans to expand and go further. We were the next generation of leaders, were we not? Those not bogged down in the mess made from Grindelwald and the muggles and the destruction of everything good in the world. We should lead wizarding kind into the new world.

And, I’ll confess, I was terribly interested. The path my parents have painted for Diana & I seems dreadfully boring - marry some man and lose myself and my name to him, lose my body and my beauty to his children, become so consumed with the lives of messy tiny humans and give and give until who I am - Venus Manon Rowle - no longer exists. I will not be some empty shell belonging entirely to others. They spoke of power and change, and I held on to my air of aloofness as long as I could. But it was too perfect, and I gave over to the glamour of his vision quickly. They need my name and my charm, and (it was quite amusing to watch Lestrange struggle to find a tactful way to say so) my bite. I know I can be quite cruel, Diana has been more than happy to point it out to me. But being kind is boring, soft is weakness. The world won’t be kind to girls like me, why shouldn’t I treat it the same?

We stayed for another hour until the library matron threatened to call the caretaker or tell Slug we were out of bed after hours. But the plans and dreams continued in the common room late into the night. Lestrange is driven and controlling, Riddle has a charm and vision - they both match me in the ability to easily draw people in. Although, I might be a bit ahead of them in that case, having the name Riddle does not and being a fair bit more attractive than Lestrange. Most importantly - it is not just talk. You know how talk without action drives me mad. No, there are plans, and some have even already been enacted. Now I couldn’t possibly tell you the details even if I wanted to, having been sworn to secrecy, but Riddle himself has directly acted.

It was such a glorious night that I even woke up burning despite how little sleep I had gotten. I will tell you more later, I have to finish that stupid essay.

Love - V

PS. How terrible would it be for me to just accidentally forget to give Diana’s hers back and turn it in with my name instead? Binns would hardly notice. And Dee always forgives me.

June 22

Remember when I told you a few months ago that Freya was acting strangely? It has only gotten worse. I am practically seething with rage. Last night was daddy’s summer solstice gala, and Freya didn’t even say hello to me when she arrived. I was willing to look it over because she was with her family. But even later when she came around to speak with Giselle and I, something was off. I know how to read people, and I grew up with this girl - I know her every tick and every expression almost as much as I know my own sister’s. She is hiding something and I must find out what it is.

I tried to ask Giselle if she noticed anything wrong, but she seemed preoccupied as well. Am I the only one who knows how to have any fun? Giselle I am less worried about. She has always tried to compete with me, and it is healthy and natural for competition to develop between girls like us. She makes me sharper and I force her to rise up to my level. It is good for both of us I think, as long as I am always on top. Besides, I know her secrets and she knows enough of mine. I do love her dearly, but I would not hesitate to destroy her if necessary.

Mother says they are all jealous of me, but it has to be more than that - especially with Freya. I feared secretly from the moment she was sorted away from us all those years ago that we might lose her. I have made an effort, I constantly seek to include her in everything. And yet still, she is pulling away. Perhaps I will have to come up with some creative way to get her to confess what she is hiding.

And now, dear diary, please allow me a moment of weakness, a moment of insecurity. What if I lose them? And what if I never really had them to begin with? Sometimes I fear that they don’t actually love me, they might love the opportunities I can give them with my name. Or maybe they are afraid of me and play nice so they don’t end up on my bad side. Am I unlovable? Oh no Venus, you say, everyone loves you - look how many admires you have, how you can catch the attention of everyone in a room. No - they love who they think I am, the pretty mask I put on to hide the fact that I am all sharp edges and hot rage. But still, I would rather be loved and noticed for something, rather than hiding in the corners. Alright - I am done acting weak now.

Speaking of corners, I suppose I will always have my dear sweet Diana. My second, my shadow, my sister, my twin. She resists the type of criticism and growth I try and teach her, but she must take some of it in stride. I don’t much like sharing the spotlight, so I am happy that she is so reserved. Still, it would be good for Di to have some actual fun for one. To leave the library and step out from behind her books. I love her, dearly, and I only want the best for her. I confess, I may not be the best at showing her exactly how much she means to me. We are cruel to each other in the way only sisters can be, but I do believe she would die for me. And I know I would kill for her.

I will stop filling you with my melancholia now - V

[joviette]

Dear Moon Taeil, my moon—because I didn’t even dare to love you in a dare daylight even its okay for me to do that.

Honestly its just strange, and I’m not that used to express myself when people still around and could be the witness of not—so—me attitude, I’m not so quite straightforward with what I’m trying to say but it’s a happy birthday letter, I should’ve cut the prologue if its not really related with this happy day of yours. But me being me is always talkin a LOT with my words, I’m happy that its feels like I’m talking to you—even it is not of course.

Happy birthday, taeil-ah. You’re the only person I can feel related to, because we’re the same age—everyone in the group is younger than me, so having you is mean THAT much to me. I’m happy to have you  in my sight, backthen you always makes me feel kinda sort of feeling everytime you hit THAT notes, but now I turned out being so soft whenever I see you around. I wish you’ll be the happiest person alive not just because its your birthday, but because everything that you’ve been through seems started to get on a flower path. Being successed like today, is a long long way to going through right? There are things that you need to let go to be in your place now. Sometimes when you think about it in the end of the day, when you feel so tired of the packed schedule, I hope its kind of tired that you’d be longing for. You let go of something, but you lived in your dream—a bright and shining dream.

Taeil-ah, my dearest moon taeil. Saying that you’re beautiful was never enough. Your existence is not that simple, even when you’re doing nothing you have THAT vibe, you feel like home or some old song that always comfort me whenever i listen to. Your smile is a sweet one, I don’t really like sweet things but if its your smile, I’m here for it. I wish I could hear your laugh and giggle more, I wish you feel happy and good with your life. Everything will getting harder and tougher, but I know moon taeil now is so much sturdy than ever. I’m proud of my man, I really am. I hope you’ll stay healthy and fit, its okay to loose some weight but you looked good in my eyes actually. So, It doesn’t really matter, I love you so everything else doesn’t really that matter.

 (I love you) For keep being yourself everytime and everywhere,

(I love you) For crying your eyes out and being shy about it when you saw video messages from your little brother, what a softie, I always cried with you everytime I saw that video.

(I love you) For being hard to showing your affection or sharing your inner feeling,

(I love you) For your 1975’s playlist, I think our taste in music is quite match each other. I’m happy for that, if its turned out as a scenario of fan fiction, I’m gladly spent my Saturday nite with you going around the town  on car, listened to your stories and hearing the same song all night. That’s happiness.

(I love you) For show me many sides of you everytime you had a chances,

(I love you) For being awkwardly cute and looked SO DAMN good with boyfriend looks,

(I love you) For being a cute big brother,

(I love you)For calling every animal in the zoo as your babies,

(I love you) For eat your food deliciously,

(I love you) For holding back your tears and break down at the end, you’re strong man I ever know, you cried because you loved someone that much,

(I love you) For let go of something that really prestigious to be what you are today,

(I love you) For always doing the best with your part, you deserved to hear that you’re simply beautiful and get love from anyone that find you.

(I love you) For being exist, and let me know you through media. I hope many people would love you like me. Because you deserved that.

 Taeil-ah, I’m not good in expressing myself. Sometimes I questioning myself a lot, why I can’t be like others that freely showing more love to their favourite. I do accepting that you’re now my favourite among all the member but I don’t wanna put it that way, I’m simply afraid to named you like that because I easily changed my mind. If I saved you silently it’ll last longer than I named you loudly. I don’t know since when it turned out like this, but since the last time I do it with someone elses name I can’t do it with anyone anymore.

I want to keep you around my radar without too much words, its quite weird I know. I just don’t wanna let go of you, yet—even I never have you in the first place.

I never have a proper letter for almost everyone, it should be a happy birthday letter with many birthday wishes for you but it turned out to be confession letter that you’d be never read for real.

I hope you’ll be the happiest person on your birthday, but actually I wish you’ll be happy for a long long time. Stay proud of your talent, keep doing what makes you happy, received more love and return it by keep doing what makes you happy—many people keep their eyes on you, because for them you’re precious even when you’re didn’t have a good damn clue about it.

Please keep shining warmly like a moon in the night skies, don’t fall sick with all those tight schedule, eat well, keep hydrated yourself, I love you.

 p.s : I’ll send this letter to the galaxies wishing this would sent to you tonight—I know it won’t. You won’t read this but someone else will, they will know that someone name Moon Taeil worth nearly thousands or more words of letters. Can’t wait to see you fly higher, I miss you everyday—even we never meet. But its okay, I’m good in enduring, I tend to have this kind of feeling all the time so don’t mind me.

I’m happy that my mutuals said that I looked like a moon in the night skies. One thing that cross my mind when I heard that is you. Thanks for being born and coming to me in one of the hardest phase of my life. I’m lucky to meet you, for real.

Love,

Me

[gingerlexi2897]

This past weekend, one of my dearest friends married the love of her life. Emily and I have been friends since we both started at the same private school in 5th grade and have remained friends no matter how far apart distance wise we’ve been. She’s one of the wisest, kindest people I know and she can talk circles around me about all things pertaining to classics. She’s stuck with me for the past 12 years, which is saying something since she saw me at some of my worst times. It was so easy to celebrate her and her new husband on Saturday because they’re the kind of people who constantly make you smile, and they feed us popsicles.

One of the coolest parts of the day, (and that’s saying something because there was a taco bar and buffalo dip (if you’re looking for ideas, taco bars. just saying)) was having the opportunity to see people I hadn’t see in years. I sat there at a table surrounded by people I had gone to middle and high school with and I realized not only had I missed these people but also that no matter what paths we had taken we had all seemed to end up in the same boat. We’ve all finished our undergrads and find ourselves in the real world attempting to make friends and figure out what we’re doing with our lives. Yes some of us have jobs or post-graduate plans, but that doesn’t mean your life it all nice and dandy. You can dream and idealize about what your life will be like when you finish college, but the truth is, you have no idea. No matter how hard it may be at the time, we all agreed that in a lot of ways, college is easy. Friends are handed to you on a silver platter. You don’t have to have the answer to questions about who you are and what you’re doing and no one judges you for it. Eating a weird mix of foods because it’s what you had left in your fridge counts as culinary expertise and mac and cheese counts as dinner and dessert. No matter how much I complained about college and all the times I hated it while I was there, I miss it. There genuinely is no other time like it.

As we sat there talking about college and high school we all seemed to be saying the same things about what we loved and what we regretted during those times. So like the nice organized person I am, I made a list. Really this is more for me than it is for you. It’s for me to remind myself of these things when I feel myself getting panicky or stressy. It’s to remind myself that I’m sure as heck not the only one who feels this way. So here it is, The Things I Need to Tell Myself Everyday.

Stop caring about what people think so much. Yes, you’ve heard it said a million times before, but it’s true. Every single person at that table said that they wished they hadn’t cared so much about what everyone else at school had thought of them and would have done the things they were scared to. They wished they hadn’t just rushed home the minute the bell rang and would have invested more into the relationships they had with the people around them. They wished they had been more of who they are instead of trying to hide it to be “more likable”.

Be ballsy. Talk to that person. Send that text. Invite them out to lunch. The worst they can say is “no” but they could also say yes and you never know what might come from that.

Let go of the bitterness. When I left private school I was mad. I was mad at people there for stupid things and I was mad at the school itself for what I had believed it had done to me. Yes, all of those things I thought may have been true at the time, but it has been 8 years since I left and none of those things matter anymore. The truth is we are all different than we were in 9th grade and you never know what friendships you might reopen because you’ve allowed your perception of this person to change.

That Harry Potter birthday party you threw in middle school and were embarrassed about for the longest time just may be the awesome birthday party people remember. Ok so this one is super specific to me but it’s true. For years I was embarrassed about what people thought of me or remembered me by because of the parties I had had when I was in middle and high school (yes it’s stupid I know but my brain really likes to latch on to specific moments to torment me about) but what I found out this weekend is that those embarrassing moments for me maybe some people’s favourite memories involving you. Whether it’s the handmade wands you gave out as party favours or Corey yelling “DO YOU RECANT” at what I can’t even remember, you never know what people hold on to.

And most importantly, reach out. Follow up. If you say you want to get together, don’t just say it and never act on it. Call that friend. Ask about that job interview. Get coffee. It may be slightly awkward at first but it never hurts to be a decent human being and genuinely care about the wellbeing of others.

Actually the real most important one: God always has you. He is ALWAYS there and he doesn’t care if you have a job in your degree field and make tons of money or if you work part-time and live with your parents. He loves you so much and in the end, he’s all that really matters, so why aren’t we living for him?

So here’s to you, the ones who have been through it all with me. Thank you for continuing to make me look at myself and desire to be a better person and thank you for all the years of friendship we’ve been through and hopefully the many more we have to come.

Lexi

The Things I Need to Tell Myself Everyday This past weekend, one of my dearest friends married the love of her life. Emily and I have been friends since we both started at the same private school in 5th grade and have remained friends no matter how far apart distance wise we've been.

[lifeprotologism]

To me if/when I will return to these posts

Don’t be too hard on yourself and/or think of yourself as weird. Everything I have written and clicked away has been a process, a pathway to recovery. I captured my thoughts, feelings and all emotions as they arose. To anyone else, it would be “just give up already” but to you, it is part of our learning process.

I can be such a cow to myself! So mean and cruel and I’m sure, I’d be judgmental of my thoughts or myself, but that’s just who I am. I hope my much older self is more compassionate and empathetic. I hope I don’t make a mockery of my current misery and saddness.

I’ve never been treated this way and that’s probably why I have been so confused. Sometimes there was heaps of love, and at times, so much hatred. It was always to the extreme ends and I never found a balance to hold onto my sanity. My memories haunt me. It asks me to make sense of what I am feeling, what I felt, what I think happened and what actually happened. I’m confused by the turn of events and I’m more confused by her current behavior. Just a month ago, we were chatting and getting used to each other. But one unknown turn of events and she didn’t acknowledge my birthday. I know, she knew that her message was the one I was waiting for and honestly, for a few days I sulked and was pissed. I realised that last year she wished me cos it was a milestone and this year wasn’t important to her. A day that is important to me doesn’t mean anything to her. At that point, I realised, I am not important to her anymore. What I feel for her isn’t as temporary as what she felt for me. Yes! Of course, she will come up with some crazy ass respond that it was better for me that she didn’t contact etc etc and that’s why she didn’t think She should write to me. She will have all the reasons to justify and I no longer want to know them. The day has passed and moments have gone. I can’t expect her to make me happy! So I decided that I won’t expect anything from her and I treated myself. I can buy anything I want but it’s really the thoughts and memories that I collect are precious to me. When she told me she was going through her personal challenges, my first thought was how could I help her, what can I do! Knowing that she won’t let me be near her, I prayed. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have told her but you know what, I just wanted her to know how much I care. But she.. oh no! She is something else. There is a sinister thought, diabolical to be honest! If she knew I was waiting for her message, she won’t send it! Because those two words (happy birthday) would have given me happiness and there is no way her heart could see a smile on my face! Heaven forbid if she spared a moment for me. And this sunk so deep. It brought a lot of buried memories and I looked at myself in the mirror one day and told myself “you are never going to expect anything from that selfish person. Your instincts and feelings were correct. You were not crazy! She did make things difficult for you”. For someone who has always been so logical and practical, I couldn’t have acted as such. So out of character! And most importantly, I’m not going to give her the pleasure of accusing me of living with Amit when I was in Darwin anymore. Whoever told her, whatever she believes, it’s all on her. I’ll just agree to everything now simply because I won’t let her stupidity cloud my mind or give her the pleasure of arguing with me. In fact, I won’t give her any pleasure, time or memory of me from now on.

Once her ex (aka BFF, housemate, co-financier) told me that Ju has a tendency to chase after someone and when she gets them, she loses interest. I didn’t even imagine that it would apply to me. And then I read and saw videos of what Ju is currently going through and realised just how true her ex was!! When I was not interested, she pursued and then, when I started to like her, whe would be irritated and fight with me. Her ex told me a lot of things which I disregarded. She told me that she was territorial and I didn’t think much of it other than just her crazy words but when I saw how she reacted, I realised that you can’t hide your feelings for too long. The same was with her, Ju couldn’t hide her feelings that’s why she was all over her ex.. and they disregarded my feelings. I honestly at one point thought I had imagined seeing and hearing things. I’m glad they now have each other. I felt so bad for Ju. She had to lie to me constantly to hide that she was with her ex. Everyone told me but she continued to lie to me. Now, she doesn’t need to. They go everywhere together. I was told that they go everywhere together and in one of her videos, she did say that “it’s her first international solo trip”! All those times of me arguing that she was lying to me, she denied it .. lol! I’m not mad at her for lying. People lie all the time. I’ve only ever been sad by her cruelty and horrible treatment towards me. All I wanted was someone to be polite and communicate with me. But I guess she couldn’t help but be the person she truly was.

True to self

I figured out I was gay when I met her and for a long time, truly believed that she was the one for me. Co-parenting Yuvaan, I was honest with Amit about my feelings and over a period of time, I surpressed what I was feeling. I agreed when he asked me to marry him because I was logically thinking that it will make everyone happy. To be honest, living with him, I forgot what marriage meant because we have been such good friends over the years, I thought everything will continue like that but marriage is a different ball game. When reality came, I instantly knew that I cannot be with him and I’ve never met anyone who was such a good sport about this. When I told him that I was sorry and thought I could do this, that I geniunely wanted him to be happy but he doesn’t deserve this sacrificed love and deserves real love with someone who would love him back, he took it on with a brave heart. I explained that he can always have me as a friend but I will never be able to love him back, he hugged me and said he still remained the luckiest person on earth because I said yes to him! He said overtime, he has realised that all I consider him is just a friend and he understands me. He was supportive of me being gay and as usual, joked about it. I know he will support me when the time is right.

My parents, sisters, brothers and the rest of my family consider me not normal and pray that whatever is wrong with me can one day be fixed. They think counseling and maybe prayers will help me. They honestly think it’s some sort of sickness that can be fixed! Lol! I’m actually no longer offended by it. Atleast they know what I feel and I can’t expect them to understand. I’m not going to impose my thoughts on them or anyone. If they ask me to pray for good clean thoughts and fast on thursdays - I’ll do it. Prayers never harmed anyone.

What makes me happy and free is that I don’t have to hide who I am. I don’t flaunt it either. What I feel is my business and I manage my circumstances considering my son and family - having only them in mind. Nothing else matters anymore and I hope one day, I find a person I can introduce to my crazy family and my bestest & dearest friend (also my crazy ex husband, co-parenting with me and living with me). I get it that it’s a lot to take for someone but with the right person, it will all work out and I’m sure we will strike a balance. In the meantime, I won’t give my precious time to people who purposely hurt me because they hate me. I’ve already given some people time when they didn’t deserve a moment from me.

[xonceinadream]

History Repeats Itself | Seblaine One-Shot

Sebastian's parents died when he was a child, giving him a box that they told him would open in a decade and let him come back to save them. On the journey, Sebastian finds out that his parents might not be worth being saved. { 6,013 words } | { ao3 | ff.net }

 Sebastian screams as there's another explosion, pressing his hands tighter against his head. “Momma!” he calls as loudly as he can, not hearing his parents over the yelling and the spells and the cracking wood around him.

 “Sebastian!”

 Hearing his name, Sebastian moves to stand up but is immediately pushed back down by a firm hand. “Wha-?”

 “Hush, boy.”

 Sebastian looks up, frowning when he sees his uncle. “Where's my mom?”

 His uncle shakes his head, shoving a small box into his hand. “Take this, Sebastian. Take this and get the hell out of here. In one day less than ten years that box is going to open and you have to come back and make sure this movement doesn't die.”

 Sebastian shakes his head back, confused. He knows that his family is involved in something big and important but he doesn't know what movement he's talking about. “I don't understand.”

 “One day less than ten years. Don't forget, Sebastian. Now go.”

 Sebastian wants to ask again but another explosion rocks them and then his uncle pulls him up by his arms, giving him a little push. Sebastian pulls the box tight against his chest, looking back at his uncle, now turned away from him with his wand out. It scares Sebastian and he's not sure where he's going to go.

 Before the choice is made, he's stopped by a woman that he doesn't recognize and is being lifted into the arms of a man that he doesn't know. He's too big for a hold like this and he immediately tries to fight him, his legs flailing as he keeps a hold of the box.

 “Stop struggling, Sebastian. The building is falling down. We're getting you out of here,” the man says loudly in his ear, barely affected by the kicking boy in his arms.

 Sebastian hesitates, looking over at his uncle. The man isn't looking at him and so Sebastian nods. He can fight more when they get outside if he wants. The woman reaches out to take the box but Sebastian shakes his head, pulling it tighter to his chest.

 The sunlight hurts his eyes as the door is kicked open and he closes them.

Then he opens them, his breathing unsteady as he realizes that it's morning and he has to get up for his classes. He takes a few deep breaths, telling himself that he has to settle down. He's been having that dream more and more often. It's no surprise. Today is the day. It’s been one day shy of ten years since his parent's death and when supposedly he has to go back and stop it all.

He's not as confused by the request as he had been then. He knows that his parents had been working with a group who wanted to take over the world with Dark Magic. The Smythe family is gone, as far as the world is concerned. His father had taken a killing spell, his mother had died in an explosion, his uncle died in an undisclosed prison. It had reported that Sebastian had died in the explosion with his mother.

It had been Joyce Clark who had taken him in, an old family friend of his mother's. He'd taken her last name and had become like a son to her since she couldn't have any. Sebastian Clark may be in Slytherin but he's one of the top students in his class. He can tell you odd facts about time travel and history at the drop of a hat. He excels in Potions and Charms and is expected to become Head Boy next year.

Sebastian glances at the clock, checking the time and then moving to grab the box from under his bed. It hasn't ever opened for him. Sebastian's tried for years, using every resource available to him. He's been in the Restricted Section, asked vague questions of his professors. He'd never figured it out.

When he sets it on his bed and sees that the clasp is unlocked, his breath catches. Sebastian doesn't know what he believes in terms of his family. Joyce has taught him for years right and wrong, about the lengths that his parents went and why it went bad. Sebastian doesn't care about the movement. All he wants is his mom back.

“Sebastian? That Anderson kid is waiting outside for you again.”

Sebastian immediately shoves the box underneath his blankets, looking up when Hunter, one of his housemates, comes into the room. “Sorry,” Sebastian says quietly, narrowing his eyes as he wonders what Blaine wants now. He ignores Hunter as he changes quickly, only looking at the other boy when he has to go past him.

“Got into his pants yet?”

Sebastian resists the urge to punch Hunter in his nose, not an easy task, and walks past him. Hunter knows just how much Sebastian wants to get into Blaine's pants, constantly denied, and Hunter loves teasing him about it.

As soon as he steps over the threshold he can see Blaine leaning casually against the wall, Hufflepuff robes pulled on casually and his prefect badge pinned prominently to his chest. Sebastian doesn't know how anybody can look that delicious. “Sebastian. I've been waiting for you for ages. None of your… friends would tell you that I was here,” Blaine says as he pushes himself off the wall.

“That doesn't surprise me. Let's go get breakfast. I'm starving,” Sebastian responds, walking past the other boy and towards the Great Hall, using his long legs to propel him.

He glances back to see the way that Blaine rolls his eyes and frowns. “Alright, grumpy. What's got you in a mood today?”

Sebastian thinks about his parents, about the box underneath his bed. As far as anybody at Hogwarts is concerned Joyce is his mother so he doesn't expect anybody to care about the fact that it's nearly the anniversary of the Smythe's death. He sighs, looking back and slowing his long strides so that Blaine can catch up to him. “Didn't sleep well last night. Sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Blaine asks in that way too nice voice of his, bumping his shoulder gently against Sebastian's.

“I don't want to talk about it. Let's talk about you. What couldn't you wait to tell me?” Sebastian asks, heading with Blaine towards the Hufflepuff table to eat. The Hufflepuffs are much nicer about an outsider among them than the Slytherin are and he's not feeling like listening to their snide comments towards Blaine this morning.

It seems that Blaine appreciates it too, judging by his smile as they sit down. “Kurt asked me out.”

There had been a few things that Sebastian had expected Blaine to say, Sebastian thinks as he chokes on his orange juice. He'd thought that Blaine's parents might have sent him something in the mail or Blaine had excelled on his test. Hearing that the Slytherin a grade above them had asked him out sends a jolt of pain through him that has nothing to do with the orange pulp in his throat. “What?” he asks in between coughs.

Blaine hands him a napkin, looking concerned. “Are you alright?”

“Fine, fine,” Sebastian says, waving a hand dismissively. “What did you say?”

“Kurt asked me out. Hummel. Kurt Hummel. I told you that we've been spending time together and he finally asked me out,” Blaine says with a dreamy smile on his face.

Sebastian can only stare at him before swallowing. It surprises him that Blaine would say such a thing to him. Blaine had never struck him as the type to be overly cruel. “And what did you say?” Sebastian asks, hoping that maybe he can salvage this. Maybe Blaine is going to tell Sebastian that he said no since he's always been hopelessly in love with-

“Yes, of course,” Blaine responds, his eyebrows furrowing as he looks at the other boy. Sebastian suddenly finds himself unable to breathe, looking down at the toast that doesn't look appetizing anymore.

Sebastian stands up abruptly, nearly knocking the bench over and he puts the glass that he realizes he's still holding down. “I'll see you later. I just realized that I never did my Transfiguration homework.”

“Sebastian-”

The Slytherin doesn't wait to hear any more, simply turns and walks back towards his common room with his head held high. Apparently, it doesn't matter that he's been asking Blaine out for at least three years now. Or that he's helped when Slytherins bully him or Purebloods taunt him for being a traitor. He doesn't believe that Blaine owes him, of course, but it hurts that Blaine obviously isn't interested in him at all.

Sebastian seats himself on his bed, pushing his covers back and crossing his legs underneath him. The box seems to taunt him and he reaches out, tentatively opening the top. He doesn't know what he expects to find but a small black Time-Turner isn't it. His brows furrow and he reaches in, picking up the little note that he recognizes is written in his mother's handwriting.

 Happy early birthday, dearest.

 If you're reading this then the mission went wrong and our movement has been ruined. I'm writing this the morning before your 7th birthday, ten years ago to you today. You're sleeping right now, so peaceful in the knowledge of a world all your own.

 Your father and I have made our choices. As has your uncle. My only hope is that you make the right ones. Your father is going to be getting you up soon so that we can eat cake and have a good day before the attack tomorrow. You'll be pleased to eat cake for breakfast, I'm sure.

 You're probably wondering about the item in the box. Your uncle acquired it through his work with the Ministry. It's experimental but he swore to me that you'll be safe. It works with the same magic as a Time-Turner but a hundred times more powerful. You will return to the past and you will have approximately 30 minutes there before the past is brought to you. Your world around you will change depending on what you do with those 30 minutes.

 The Ministry used decades of time so one swing of the hourglass will take you back to the correct time. It's why the box was charmed to open today. We will have a full day to figure out what we need to do to fix things, to live for you, to let Lord Erebus win.

 I'm sorry that the battle must take place on your birthday. I'm sorry that I've missed so many of your birthdays growing up. Use this Time-Changer and fix this for us.

 Your loving mother, Long may Lord Erebus reign, Justine Smythe

 co-signed, Jameson Smythe

Sebastian stares at the letter for another moment before he pulls the Time-Changer out of the box, holding it carefully in his hand. He wonders whether the Ministry gave up on the magic since he's never seen anything like this. His parents want him to go to the past and rescue them. How can he refuse?

But then, how can he? He's heard horrible things about Lord Erebus, about the man that he was trying to emulate. Would his conscious allow him to save his parents if it meant that he was bringing about a dark age? Could his parents be for something that was that wrong? What else might he change in the past?

“I heard that Anderson has a date.” Hunter's voice makes Sebastian clench the Time-Changer hard enough that his palms hurt. He feels sick. “Did you hear-”

“I heard you, Clarington now shut up,” Sebastian snaps, staring at the object in his hand. One twist of it will let him go back. It will let him get his parents back. It will let him change things. Some dark part of his mind wonders whether in a new time he'd be with Blaine. Maybe with his parents to help him…

“Don't tell me to shut up, Smythe. I'm simply telling you the facts.”

Sebastian stands up as Hunter comes closer, his jaw clenching and his body suddenly feels hot. He doesn't know what to do. What if he makes the wrong choice? Well, he could always go back and if he thinks it's a bad idea then he can decide not to do anything.

“Fuck off, Clarington. I swear-”

Hunter narrows his eyes, close enough that their noses are nearly touching. Sebastian feels the Time-Changer in his hand. “What are you going to do about it?”

Sebastian clenches his other fist, reaching up and punching Hunter in the nose before he can think about the consequences. The crack underneath his knuckles is so satisfying but before either of them can react Sebastian flips the Time-Changer between two fingers, nausea filling him immediately as he feels like he's being pulled apart.

When he opens his eyes next he has no idea where he is until he does. He's in his bed, the one that he had until he was seven years old. He can hear his parents moving around downstairs, his father sounding like he's in the kitchen. The nausea has mostly faded, leaving confusion in its wake.  Then he remembers. He'd slept in on the morning before his 7th birthday and so exactly ten years from when he'd just twisted the Changer he'd be here.

It makes his head hurt.

His mother tentatively peeks her head around the door, frowning and Sebastian sits up sharply, preparing to explain things. When he moves to push back the covers he realizes that there's no need. His small fingers surprise him until he realizes that he's back in his body from when he was seven years old. “Sebastian? Are you awake, honey?”

“I am,” Sebastian whispers and he's ashamed of the fact that tears fill his eyes. He hasn't seen his mother in so long that seeing her now is almost overwhelming.

Justine takes a few more steps inside and Sebastian looks down at the fingers of one hand in awe, realizing that he's still holding the Time-Changer with the other. He wonders whether it will work again and decides not to let it go. “Your dad has a special breakfast for you…”

“Cake. Cake for breakfast,” Sebastian breathes and then he can't help himself. He jumps up, stumbling towards her and wrapping his arms around her. It feels the same as it did ten years ago.

His mother grabs him, a hitch in her breath as she questions him. “You read the letter then?” Sebastian nods against her stomach, tasting his tears as they make streaks down his cheeks. “I'm so sorry, honey.”

Sebastian takes a deep breath, pulling away and looking up at his mother. Her hands are soft as she cups his cheeks, using her thumbs to brush away his tears. “Whatever you're planning isn't going to work.” All thoughts of not saving his mother and father are forgotten. All he cares about is making sure that they're still there in ten years.

“That's okay, my darling. We'll try another plan,” Justine murmurs. Her eyes already look far-away and Sebastian wants to draw her attention back to him. He has to remind himself that it's better if she's concentrating on something else. She has to plan to survive.

“Momma…”

Justine brings his head forward so that she can press a quick kiss to his forehead. “It's alright. We have many ideas. We knew that there was a possibility that you would come back to tell us that we needed a different one. Go eat your cake, darling. Me and your father will figure things out.”

Sebastian nods after a moment and a few minutes later he's listening as his parents discuss and draw up plans while he eats his cake. The chocolate tastes dry in his mouth and he feels like he has to keep telling himself how to chew. This is for the best he tells himself. This is the right choice.

There's no nausea when he goes back. There's no warning. One moment he's staring at his mother's lovely features and the next he's sitting on a bench at a long table that he takes too long to recognize as being in Hogwarts. Sebastian immediately shoves the Time-Changer still in his hand into his robes pocket. He draws in a sharp breath, eyes wide as he looks around at the Great Hall that's no longer the same. It's decorated in shades of green and silver now, a giant portrait of a man that Sebastian recognizes as Erebus in front.

“Hey, Sebastian. You're up early.”

Sebastian would recognize Blaine's voice anywhere and he turns with a grin, opening his mouth to greet him. Before he can say a word, Blaine pushes forward, his lips soft against Sebastian's. Sebastian's eyes go wide, his body tensing as he feels Blaine's tongue invade his mouth, the smaller boy's hand twirling in his hair.

Blaine pulls back suddenly, his lips lowering into a pout that makes Sebastian want to grab him and pull him close again. “Alright, what's wrong? It's almost your birthday. You're supposed to be happy.”

“N-Nothing. Nothing's wrong. You just… kissed me.”

One eyebrow raises as Blaine sits down close enough to Sebastian that their thighs are touching. Sebastian watches as Blaine grabs the pitcher of pumpkin juice to pour in his glass. “Is this about History of Magic class yesterday? I'm not mad that you got upset with my father. You know that I'm not. I just think that it's a bit naïve and foolish of you to walk around talking bad about the man that put our parents into power. You know it'll get back to him.”

Sebastian blinks once. Twice. It hadn't occurred to him that he would be thrust into a future that he had no part of. Or, a part that he didn't remember. Blaine seems to be waiting for a response and so Sebastian clears his throat. “I'm… sorry. It was foolish of me,” he says for lack of anything better to say. He certainly can't argue a point that he doesn't remember making.

Blaine shrugs, leaning his shoulder against Sebastian's and grabbing a slice of toast. “It's fine. Like I said, I'm not mad. I just want you to be safe. What would your mum say?”

“Probably the same thing you're saying right now,” Sebastian responds, hoping that it's true. At his side, Blaine nods and Sebastian tries to work through everything. “So… we're dating?”

Blaine looks over at him, a frown tugging on his lips and his eyebrows furrowing. “You thought we'd break up over that? Is there something you're not telling me? Sebastian, you're not taking part in the Resistance or anything are you because it's dangerous!” Blaine must realize how loud that he's being because he looks around and then lowers his voice, leaning even closer if that's possible. “Look… I know that we've talked about what Lord Erebus does to people like Muggle-borns but there's too much scrutiny on us. We can't do anything.”

Sebastian realizes that his lips are parted, shock on his face and he can't decide what he wants to focus on. He feels like he's been given too much information in a short amount of time. Obviously, his parents had changed things. They're alive. Blaine's father is here as their History of Magic professor? But Blaine's father had left their family years ago.

And what about Lord Erebus and the Muggle-borns? At least Sebastian seems to have gotten one thing right here. He's dating Blaine and obviously they're not breaking up anytime soon. Sebastian knows that he can't ask anything more without raising too much concern. “I'm not. I'm sorry for making you worry, Blaine.”

“You're being too nice. Stop,” Blaine says with a laugh, pressing another kiss that doesn't last long enough to Sebastian's lips before turning back to his breakfast.

Sebastian looks down and around the table for Kurt Hummel, the first Muggle-born he can think of but he doesn't see him. He finds that he doesn't have much appetite and simply wraps his arm around Blaine's shoulders, holding onto his boyfriend as he waits for him to finish eating.

*

It's incredibly lucky for Sebastian that Blaine starts walking towards their first class that they have together before Sebastian was because he never would've guessed otherwise. Blaine's cuddled close to his side in a way that makes Sebastian's heart pound and he's chattering about the Potions homework that they had the previous night. Sebastian thinks he could listen to him talk for hours.

By the time that it's time for History of Magic, Sebastian wonders just how much is different. Charms and Potions had both been similar to the world that he knows. As soon as they slide into their seats, Sebastian knows that this one will be different. Blaine immediately goes tense at his side, pulling out his equipment and resting his hands on the desk in front of him.

Sebastian remembers what Blaine had said about his father being the professor of this class and he's curious enough to lean over to try to whisper to Blaine. “What-”

“Shh,” Blaine whispers back, looking scandalized at his boyfriend.

Sebastian frowns, looking around and realizing that indeed absolutely nobody is making a noise in the class. It becomes apparent why when the man that Sebastian recognizes as Blaine's father comes sweeping into the classroom, his jaw set in a hard line.

“Ah, Mr. Smythe. I assume that your mother spoke to you last night about your outburst yesterday?” The man asks in a sarcastic voice as he rearranges his things on his desk.

Not sure the answer, Sebastian hesitates a moment too long since the man pulls out his wand, pointing it straight at Sebastian. “Crucio.”

Sebastian gasps, crying out in pain. “Dad,” Blaine whispers at his side, not loud enough for him to hear. The feeling is gone almost as fast as it had come but it leaves his bones feeling like he's been electrocuted and he's having a hard time catching his breath. His face is wet with tears and he looks around, seeing that everybody is avoiding looking at him.

“I'll take that as a no. Pity. That woman needs to learn to be harsher to you. Traitors should be treated just as harshly as the trash they try to defend,” Blaine's father says with a glare in Sebastian's direction. “Now. Have you changed your stance on the public execution of Burt and Elizabeth Hummel? Or their son?”

Sebastian's mind is still fuzzy from the cruciatus curse and he shakes his head to try to clear it. It doesn't occur to him that he's denying it until the man is pointing his wand at him again. Sebastian thinks he might throw up or pass out, his body feeling like it's vibrating as next to him, Blaine draws in a sharp breath.

“He supports it, Professor Anderson,” Blaine says at his side, confusing Sebastian until he realizes that he's obviously trying to stop his father from torturing Sebastian again. He sounds choked. “We both do. We talked about it this morning at breakfast. Kurt and his parents got what was coming to them for lying about their heritage.”

In his addled state, Sebastian can barely figure out what's going on but when it clicks it hits him like the Hogwarts Express. A public execution because Kurt lied about being Muggle-born. But Kurt has always been so proud of that… Sebastian feels sick to his stomach and he realizes that Blaine probably sounds upset because Kurt isn't around.

The thought makes him even sicker as he realizes that he's been enjoying that Blaine's his boyfriend when he simply had no competition. And a public execution?

At the front of the room, Professor Anderson narrows his eyes. “Do not speak unless spoken to. Yesterday he was quite outspoken about the fact that the torture of Muggle-borns isn't needed if they've done nothing wrong.”

“He's changed his mind. You changed it and I helped him. You know that he supports Lord Erebus and all of us. His parents are in Lord Erebus' inner circle. They helped with the Hummel executions, Dad!”

“No,” Sebastian says, looking over at Blaine with confusion in his eyes. “You don't believe that. You can't stand for that. You're half in love with Kurt already,” he whispers because he's known that Blaine had a crush on Kurt since the second they stepped onto the Hogwarts Express and saw the stylish older boy in the next compartment.

Blaine's face drains of color, looking over at Sebastian. “What? No, I'm not. I support that. Just like you do,” Blaine says through his teeth.

“Excuse me?” the professor asks at the front of the classroom, his own face turning an alarming shade of red.

Sebastian shakes his head, pulling the Time-Changer out of his pocket and looking at it. “This isn't… what's supposed to be. This isn't what I wanted. My parents helped?” he asks, shaking his head.

Professor Anderson points his wand at Sebastian again but before he can utter the spell Sebastian has flipped over the Time-Changer and feels himself being sucked into the past.

This time it's afternoon when he's forced back and he's breathing heavily. His parents are staring at him as he sits at the dining room table. “The first two plans didn't work,” Sebastian breathes, looking down at the Time-Changer in his hand. He doesn't think he's ever going to get the feeling of being tortured out of his mind.

“Are you alright, son?” Jameson asks, looking concerned at Sebastian and Sebastian realizes that he's probably pale.

Sebastian lets out a breath before nodding. “Yeah. I'm fine, Dad. You just… need to figure out an alternative. The first two plans don't work.”

Thirty minutes later he's sitting in the grass in front of Hogwarts, glaring at Blaine with angry eyes that he quickly shakes off. “Seb, are you even listening to me?”

Sebastian looks to the side, sees Rachel Berry, another Slytherin a year older than them, sitting next to him. “Uh, yeah. I am. What's up with Blaine?”

Rachel frowns, looking over at Blaine. “What about him?”

“I mean…” Sebastian hesitates, not sure what he means. He has a million questions again. Are they dating? Are they at least friends? Among other questions, of course. What about his own parents? What about Hummel? Is he alive? Sebastian may hate him but he doesn't want him dead.

Rachel shakes her head. “Anyway. My dads were talking and apparently some people are building this… Resistance.”

“The Resistance?” Sebastian asks and he feels sick again, wondering what his parents have been doing. He wants to believe that they're good. They have to be good.

“Mm-hmm. He just said we have to be careful. I don't know if your dad told you… I know you don't talk much. I just want you to be careful,” Rachel says quietly, looking at Sebastian and Sebastian frowns.

Before Sebastian can even think about it, he's speaking. “And my mom?”

“Exactly,” Rachel whispers, looking down at her hands, picking at one of her cuticles. Sebastian looks away when he sees Kurt come up to Blaine, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and tangling their fingers. “I know that you haven't been the same since losing her. But I don't want you to be reckless.”

Sebastian clenches the Time-Changer in his fist, frustration mounting in him. Lost her? Lost his mother? He can't. He can't have lost her again. He looks up, making eye contact with Kurt and frowning when the teenager starts coming towards him. He realizes that Kurt is wearing red robes.

“What the fuck is your problem, Smythe?”

“What the fuck is yours?” Rachel immediately responds, standing up and taking a step towards Kurt, her eyes angry.

Blaine stands behind Kurt and Sebastian can only stare at him, getting to his feet slowly. “I know what your father is doing and I know that you're involved. The Wizarding World won't let you get away with this,” Kurt hisses angrily, ignoring Rachel entirely.

“You hate me?” Sebastian asks, focusing completely on Blaine.

“Why wouldn't I? You're wrong and so is your father,” Blaine says quietly, reaching up to slide his hand into Kurt's, looking sad. A certain coldness fills Sebastian's chest. Not only his mother but Blaine. He's lost Blaine.

It seems only natural for him to flip the Time-Changer again.

“The first three are wrong. The first three don't work. You need to try again,” he says, reaching up to rub his eyes with his fists, telling himself that he's not crying.

This time he's sitting in the Slytherin common room, Blaine half sprawled across his lap, a book open on his legs. Sebastian breathes a sigh of relief, wrapping his arms around Blaine and pressing his face into his neck.

Blaine rebuffs him quickly, eyebrows furrowing as he pushes himself away from Sebastian. When Sebastian sees the look of disgust on his face his heart breaks. “What the hell is your problem, Smythe?”

“I…” Sebastian can't bring himself to say anything again. His heart feels heavy. He's tired. He just wants things to go back to normal and that scares him.

Blaine scoffs, turning back to his book, his lips pursed in the way that Sebastian knows that he's angry. “Look, I know that I'm forced to marry you but you don't get to kiss me. I'll play my part but no more than that. You know how much I hate you,” Blaine snaps.

And Sebastian flips the Changer again. It's only when he's telling his parents to try again that he realizes he doesn't even know what happened to them in that time.

It takes him exactly 4 minutes for him to realize that the fifth plan kills Blaine before their second year. The sixth plan has Blaine hating him again because of his parents having killed Kurt's parents… again. It's evening by the time that Sebastian realizes that the seventh plan has Blaine dead again, this time by his own uncle. By the eighth plan Sebastian is exhausted.

He finds himself in bed when he's brought back to the future, Blaine in his arms wrapped securely. “How did you know you loved me?” Sebastian asks, knowing that he can't stay in this timeline. His parents are still involved with Lord Erebus. They're still on the wrong side and it makes Sebastian sick to think about.

“I've always known. Once I knew that you loved me… that you weren't just with me for sex was when everything changed,” Blaine whispers sleepily.

Sebastian holds Blaine for a while longer, thinking over those words. When he reaches the past, he stares at his parents. They're always expectant now as each plan progresses through the day. Every time he comes back, his parents are optimistic. He realizes they have every right to be considering how many of their other plans work.

Now, he doesn't rush to hug them as he has before. He pictures his mother holding out a wand towards Elizabeth Hummel, murmuring the killing curse at her. He thinks of his father torturing a Muggle boy because he can. His stomach clenches as he thinks about Joyce, the woman who had raised him. In the sixth plan she's killed in battle when he's only 14. His mother had looked surprised because in that timeline he'd never met her.

“Well?” Jameson asks, staring at his son expectantly.

Sebastian looks down at his hands, a resolute sadness filling him. His parents aren't… good. The words hurt to even think because he's always imagined his parents dying like heroes. They'd been heroes to him when he was young no matter what Joyce had said.

Now he realizes that even given the chance, they wouldn't be heroes. He lets out a breath that catches on a sob, curling into his mother when she sits next to him. “What is it, darling?” Justine asks, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

Sebastian closes his eyes, bites his lip hard. “The first plan,” he whispers, barely audible.

Jameson frowns. “But we're so far past that.”

“I was mistaken as were you two for sending me back. The first plan is the best,” Sebastian says softly. He presses even closer to his mother, gasping for breath past the pain that he feels in his heart.

Justine looks at Sebastian and she kisses his head again. “You're our brave little boy. We'll see you next holidays.”

Sebastian closes his eyes and lets himself take momentary comfort in his mother's words. He glances at the clock, the seconds ticking down and then he's back in the future, laying in his bed. The Time-Changer is clenched in his fist. He can hear Hunter snoring in the next bed over and he lets himself close his eyes. He'll rest. At least for now. He'll handle things in the morning.

*

When Sebastian peeks into the Great Hall he breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Hummel sitting at the end of the Slytherin table, Blaine sitting next to him. His letter from Joyce had been sitting in the top of his trunk again, evidence of the fact that his parents are still gone. There's no picture of Erebus anywhere in Hogwarts that Sebastian has found yet.

Sebastian looks down at the Time-Changer in his hand and then swallows hard. This is for the best. His parents can't and shouldn't be changed. Sebastian has to press a hand over his mouth as he throws the Time-Changer to the ground, the glass shattering to pieces. Sebastian picks them up, deciding that he'll scatter them in the Forbidden Forest later. It doesn't hurt as much as he thought it would.

As Sebastian walks in, he sees Blaine laughs at something and he frowns, walking over to the two of them. “Yes, Smythe?” Hummel asks, a stupid smirk on his fact that Sebastian so badly wants to punch off.

“Blaine, I have to talk to you,” he responds, completely ignoring Hummel. He thinks about what the Hufflepuff had said when he was in bed with him and he figures that he has nothing to lose. There are so many things that could go wrong in his life, he has to at least try.

“Happy birthday-” Blaine starts as he turns towards him then falters when he sees the look on Sebastian’s face. “Are you okay?”

“I'm in love with you,” Sebastian says, letting out a surprised breath at just how much better that he feels to say it. “I'm in love with you, Blaine. I've probably been for years. If being with Hummel makes you happy then I'm happy for you. Really. And I don't want this to change things. Your friendship means everything to me. I couldn't handle it if you hated me. But I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell you.”

Blaine looks at him, lips parted for only a moment before he's standing up, tripping and Sebastian catches him quickly. “You idiot,” he whispers before pressing his lips to Sebastian's.

The Slytherin is so surprised that he can't even kiss back, staring when Blaine pulls away, a goofy smile on Blaine's face. “But… Hummel?”

“I got tired of listening to Blaine pine after you, thinking you only wanted sex from him. I figured that jealousy might get your ass in gear,” Kurt says with a shrug, taking a sip of his pumpkin juice.

Sebastian shakes his head, and this time he's the one who leans in to kiss Blaine. The other boy happily kisses him back. “There's no more pining needed,” Sebastian whispers, close to Blaine. They kiss again before they're broken up by a Professor.

It's not perfect, Sebastian thinks. He's learned things about his parents that he'd rather never have known. But it's as close to perfect as could get. And he's mighty damn satisfied with it.

[kitashiwrites]

I'm sorry my post was really aggressive. I still stand by my point that it ISN'T fair to dismiss Mor's romantic feelings (or lack thereof) towards Az, but how I acted was really awful. You don't have to post this publicly, but I hope you know I'm very sorry. My intention wasn't to try to start drama, but just receive an explanation over WHY you still ship Moriel. My way of going about it was TERRIBLE. I know sorry is just a word, but I'M SORRY.

2/2 I didn’t send you three asks. I only sent you one? Just to clear that up.3/3 I also didn’t send more than one ask. :/ 

Okay Anon. While I find it extremely hard to believe because of the timing (especially because for as long as I have been on here, I have RARELY gotten asks, let alone 3 in such quick succession that are so similar), as well as the fact that you clearly don’t stand behind your words because you felt the need to do this all on anon/have to make sure we know that you still think we are wrong, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt & accept your apology.In regards to your question, why I still ship Moriel, @sarahviehmann honestly said it best in her original answer to you: “ACOMAF was written in a way that intended for them to be shipped. So those people spent a year building up their fanon and meta and so forth, only to have the rug pulled out from under them.”

(For the sake of everyone, I’m putting this under a cut. It got way long.)

I hated ACOWAR. I’ve made no secret of that. I’ve also made no secret as to WHY. I’ve been writing fic for this series for over a year, & heavily focused on ACOMAF. I started when there were literally 7 fics posted to Ao3. Basically all of my free time at home & all of my breaks at work were spent either writing fic, discussing the series/meta with people here/talking my poor friends’ ears off over dinner, or planning fic for characters I wanted to explore in POV fics like Rhys, Tamlin, & Tarquin. Hell, I still have a 10 chapter Amarantha POV pre-ACOTAR through ACOTAR fic that’s over half written at 16k that I originally wanted to try as a surprise for my readers. I read ACOMAF enough times that I honestly would have said that I knew those characters as well as my own family, knew exactly what happened in which chapters, & got many comments here & on Ao3 from people who felt I’d captured the characters correctly, so I felt pretty good about what to expect going forward.

When ACOWAR spoilers came out, absolutely nothing made sense with what we knew or had been prior established canon. Most of all in regards to Mor, Rhys, Feyre, & Lucien, but I’m going to specifically focus on Mor, since she’s at the crux of the issue at hand. In Mor’s case, we took a woman who is described in ACOMAF as “a queen who owned her body, her life, her destiny, and never apologized for it” & says to Feyre, “I once lived in a place where the opinion of others mattered. It suffocated me, nearly broke me. So you’ll understand me, Feyre, when I say that I know what you feel, and I know what they tried to do to you, and that with enough courage, you can say to hell with a reputation. You do what you love, what you need”, & in ACOWAR made her a victim in circumstances that make absolutely no sense for the character we had known up until that date. Queen of the Hewn City? She wasn’t even treated with enough respect to be prepared to go into a meeting with her abusers, let alone shown that she is in charge. The first real female friend Feyre has ever had? Regulated to acting like a jealous girlfriend around Cassian whenever Nesta got too close. And speaking of Cassian, it was pointed out in another post (I’m sorry I don’t have the link right now) that the Cassian & Mor moments read like they were originally Az & Mor moments & were hastily changed when suddenly they weren’t supposed to be even friends. Nothing in this book read like it had been edited for continuity.

There are many bloggers who are far more qualified than I am to speak on Mor’s coming out scene, & while there was a divide, there were quite a few I know & follow who felt it was poorly written/bad rep, & I agree with their reasoning. Besides the fact that I don’t believe for one dang second that no one in the Inner Circle at a minimum would have picked up on something bothering Mor in 500 years or that she wouldn’t have at least told them even if she hid everything from Keir, there is the fact of Azriel. Azriel is in love with her, no disputing it. But it is mentioned by Rhys that Az has always thought himself unworthy of her, & Mor says that she could take her clothes off in front of him & he wouldn’t do anything. Does that sound like someone who is trying to avoid him because she isn’t interested, or someone who is creepily stalking her? In the Nessian short Wings & Embers, Cassian speaks on their relationship as well: “He wasn’t stupid. He knew she and Azriel were … whatever they were. Knew Azriel had been in love with Mor from the moment she’d strutted into the war-camp five centuries ago. And Cassian had been jealous—of Mor’s shy glances at Azriel in those first few weeks, and the fact that his dearest friend and brother … was looking at someone else.”

I’m not going to rehash Wings & Embers or ACOMAF for you. But as Sarah said, it was clearly written with them as a ship in mind, & this is from the POV of a character that has known them since the beginning, not just a few months like Feyre.

Why I still ship Moriel at this point? Because I ship it in any form. I love her & Az together period, even as friends. This ship was one of the ways @illyriantremors & I bonded originally, before we found out how much else we had in common & she became as good as a biological sister to me (I call her my Threadsister for a reason), because we shipped it back in the beginning before there was really any fic for it because it was overshadowed by Feysand, Nessian, & Elucien. Moriel was our Nessian; the unconfirmed side-ship with so much potential & evidence to back it up. When Sierra met SJM at San Diego Comic Con last summer, SJM dedicated Sierra’s copy of ACOMAF to Moriel. Why the af would an author do that if they planned to destroy a ship in the next book from the beginning?

We still love Moriel because it is hard to let go of something you’ve loved that much after you’ve been strung along & then had the rug pulled out from under you with no actual basis in ACOMAF to say “oh, it was there all along”; like when rereading ACOTAR through the ACOMAF filter, as I like to say to people, & seeing the clues that were left to the deeper story for Rhys. For me, those were not in ACOMAF upon reading it again after ACOWAR. I noticed you using my tags in your defense of yourself to Sarah regarding why I wanted to ignore ACOWAR &, by your interpretation, erase Mor’s sexuality. If you had read any of my blog at all after ACOWAR, you would have read that isn’t true, but I’ll spell it out for you: I want to ignore ACOWAR & what it did to my favorite characters’ personalities/their interactions with each other. I want to forget that Mor’s agency was taken away from her & that she was regulated to a plot twist. I want to forget that Az has been made out to be a creepy stalker. I want to forget Rhys treating Mor like she would be too emotional to deal with the negotiations with Kier & Eris & so he & Az didn’t tell her. I want to forget Feyre using Lucien to make Tamlin jealous in the Spring Court while she dismantled it from within & putting him in danger. And so much more.

I personally hate the book for multiple reasons, ranging everywhere from inconsistent characterization to grammar/editing issues. But I’m stuck with the facts it gave us, which is why writing fic is so hard to even consider anymore. It made everything about the series, not just Mor & Az, something I no longer can love with the intensity I once did, & the fandom diminishes that love more & more everyday with their bullying of people for not believing exactly the way they do, which is exactly what you contributed to when you sent those asks to myself & Sierra. And honestly, I couldn’t care less what you think of me. But if you had even looked at one of Sierra’s actual written posts/answers to asks—just one—you would have seen how quiet she’s been about her love for them as a ship & how determined she’s been to not to offend people while she’s been trying to come to terms with losing something that has been a lifesaver for her, to the point she has mostly stopped contributing to the fandom at all. She posted two Moriel drabbles during her birthday week because she was inspired by the Azriel candle I got her for her birthday, & as she said to you in her response to your original message, they were her way of saying farewell to Moriel. And guess what: even though it isn’t canon, people liked them.

I view Mor as bi, & if she��s given a healthy, happy female love interest in a future installment, then awesome. I want Moriel at least as close friends because I genuinely don’t think Az (at least the one from ACOMAF that actually made sense) would begrudge her if he knew the truth. Would he be sad? Sure, but I think he would support her nonetheless, just as the rest of the Inner Circle would. But I have absolutely no faith that SJM will give Mor anything good because she can milk the drama and turmoil she’s created, & I have no desire to see the characters & ships (across the board) I have loved so much destroyed any further.

I think @my-name-is-fireheart put it perfectly in her chime in on Sarah’s post: “Also, we should keep in mind that Mor expresses sexual attraction to men, she just prefers women. How she feels about men romantically is also blurred, though it’s slightly more clear. She says she doesn’t think she loves Az romantically but she doesn’t want to try it just to see.” SJM didn’t even know how to break her own ship apart properly to fit what you suggested, which is a good chunk of why we are even having this discussion right now.

I know Moriel is no longer canon. Cazigan (Cassian/Azriel/Mor) isn’t canon either, but I still love that. I have enjoyed their interactions with each other more than anything else since they were introduced in ACOMAF. The entire Inner Circle made me so happy for their closeness & how much of a family they were. I feel for a plot twist & a couple extra Benjamin Franklins, SJM destroyed everything that made one of my favorite characters in the entire series who she was (a strong, independent woman who didn’t let her circumstances break her & showed Feyre how not to let hers break her) & made her a poor caricature of herself, & made Az something he never has been before either because SJM hastily had to make her new & poorly executed addition work.

I shouldn’t be surprised though. This is the woman who attempted to retcon Eris of all characters into a decent person. And also took away any modicum of being able to read Tamlin as the multifaceted antagonist he had been & just turned him into a completely hateful ass with no loyalty to anyone to further drive home how perfect Rhys is supposed to be (which he definitely is not in ACOWAR, & I say that as someone who loved the morally grey character of Rhys).

TL;DR I ship Mor with Az in any form, even as friends, Mor being bi is not an issue, & I have lost all respect for SJM as an author after ACOWAR for giving us a poorly written/poorly edited product after the anticipation/hype this book had. Make of that what you will; I don’t care. I’m out of effs to give, & your ask & the other Az one I received, no matter who it was from or what your intentions were, pretty much tipped the scale in favor of me wanting to step back even further & have nothing to do with this fandom ever again.

I would ask that next time you think you have a problem with someone (because I doubt Sierra & I will be the last people you do this to), please think about how it comes across & think about your target. Your original ask was terribly hateful, & there is no amount of apology that can take that hurt away. And you would be amazed how far a little kindness & grace when asking a question instead of an accusatory message can go.

This explanation is more than you probably bargained for when you started this yesterday, but that’s the last I’ll say on any of this.

[kendracs]

How to find

Summary: "Doesn t mean anything to you that I come this far to find you?"

"Doesn't mean anything to you that I come this far to hide from you?"

"No, no it doesn t. Because you weren t running from me. You were running from yourself. But you can’t leave me behind. I’m selfish and the only way I know how to love is selfish too. I won’t let you go again"

M rated for adult themes.

Disclaimer: I don`t own pokemon. Though I did get inspiration from some scenes of Grey`s Anatomy, Gossip Girl and some fics I read a long time ago and I can´t even remember the names but some scenes got stuck on my head.

A/N: Again My first tongue is Spanish not English so forgive my grammar and misspelling mistakes, I couldn`t find someone to help me edit this, (please if you want to help me imbox?) Also the chapter was going to be much longer but I think it was good to leave it where it is.

  FF.net (chapter 1 is here too)

Chapter 2

.x.-----Colors------.x.

 What she find is not a beginning at all. Is more like that dream-like-place you drift to with closed eyes when you have nowhere to go.

News about her father spread fast and soon enough is what everyone is talking about. People buy magazines and newspapers eager to find out what happened to one of the most beloved gym leaders of Hoen. The gossip is so big that even people in the secluded town in Aloa- where she is staying- are talking about it.

“Did you hear? He had an affair with a girl younger than him”

“Surely it was that kind of girls you know. I truly feel for the wife though. There is always someone younger and more beautiful”

“They said there is a child! Can you believe it? A child out of his marriage! How scandalous”

“Their marriage is ending up so messily, I heard that their kid, a young trainer, is stepping up to take care of the gym”

“I could have swear that they had an older child, a girl”

“Oh, she is coordinator, and not a good one I think”

May just make herself tiny and ignore the conversation around her, as little by little color keeps draining fromf her sight.

Everything is shades of gray, black and white this days.

-» «-

When she first landed after days and days of traveling she had find out that she was in Aloa and there was still 5 months for the contest season to begin.

It was only a week later that the news about her parents divorce spread and part of her wanted to go back home and support her mother, hear her father, hug her brother. But when she had called, Caroline had dismissed her and told her to keep a low profile. Max had been send to the Orange Islands with Professor Eve to study.

Her mother had been protecting her children from the painful way media had reacted.

There were articles about her family everywhere, about everything. Some true, some false. Mostly hurtful.

Her friends had tried to reach her.

Misty –even if they only met once so long ago.

Ash –Surprisingly since they had lost touch years before.

Brook – Fatherly Brook that now was some sort of doctor or something like that?

Solidad –Dearest sisterly-motherly Solidad.

Harley- Like…Really?

Brianna –She barely remember her but she had called anyway

Dawn –Witty, sweet Dawn that has kicked her ass so long ago.

And… and Drew-She could barely think about that one without flinching.

She ignore them all and turn off her phone.

They portrayed her father as an awful person and her mother as a stupid woman.

She knows they are not. But some part of her is so bitter because they were exactly that.

They never talked about the happy times, about their love. At this point –where there lawyer in the middle, scandalous trues coming to light by both sides and acrimonious words exchanged- May truly believed that even her parent had forgotten about it.

May didn´t and perhaps that was what wounded the most.

Maybe it was only part of life. Love and forget. She was still waiting for the later.

Drew.

She loves him. She knows she does. But this love is nothing like love was supposed to feel, like she always dreamed when she was a little kid.

No this feel like falling in black abysm, a bottomless abysm. She feels like falling even though she already hit the floor. And it hurt, oh, so much. But the feeling doesn´t stops because even if she reached rock bottom the emptiness in her stomach, the sensation of vertigo remains and is killing her, ripping her to shards.

Because when everything is going downhill she thought she would have him. But she doesn´t and so she sinks into that sensation because there is nothing to hold her back.

-» «-

The girls in Aloa are so beautiful with tanned skin and slender bodies. Their hairs are so colorful – bright pink, light blue, daring violet, sexy red and shiny yellow- And May feels so plain beside them.

She can´t help to remember the beautiful girl with summer sunlight in her hair that stole Drew´s heart. How her curves were seductive yet elegant and how her own are not that impressive, she even feels kinda round in places she shouldn’t. Her skin doesn’t look as flawless as other girls does, and when she is the street or other places where are a lot of people she want to hide so she looks at the floor and pretends that she is not there.

Her self-esteem is so down in the floor that is buried by piles of dust and mud.

That is until she meet Gary Oak.

-» «-

She meets Gary the second month she is in Aloa when she bumps into him. Till this point no one knows where she is, she hasn´t told anyone and had keep interaction with other people to minimum. So when Gary start talking to her she is half glad half apprehensive. They click in all the right ways. He is loud and exuberant, flirty and arrogant, sassy and with a brash manner that May find very refreshing. He is also very funny in a more dark-sarcastic way. But she can take his attitude and bite back because they are so much alike being so damn different

“Why did you decide to talk me?” She ask one day when they are having ice cream and she is stealing of his cone.

He chastised her hand with a playful spal before looking at her “I don´t know. I guess I could see myself in you. I don´t want to be alone either” He says casually, but she understands all the hidden implication.

She knows he is a famous researcher, one of Ash childhood friends – Oh imagine the surprise- and he also had his heart broken. Just like her.

Apparently the two broken people chose the same place to scape. How fitting.

Soon enough is obvious they are attached by the hip, where one goes the other follows morning coffees, late dinners, and silly old movies in lazy afternoons. And when he is around she doesn´t feels so lonely anymore. Drew is still in her head, he is like that annoying raw place in the eyeglasses that don´t let you see clearly, but you can`t take the glasses away because then you can`t see at all, so you`re stuck with this constant annoyance at the side of your eye if you don`t want to go blind into the world.

Blind sounds so appealing sometimes.

But now thing are better because Gary is there to give color to her days. He is like the soft brown of the earth, grounding her to reality, showing her a whole new path.

He is different than her in a lot of things, he likes partying, for one, and she never been in a party, so in her seventeen birthday, the legal age to do everything, he insist for them to go to a club.

She don´t want to voice her insecurities but he seem to catch on it anyway. And he is so understanding. So when he takes her to one of those clothes stores –“Take this as your gift, I, the great Gary Oak don´t go shopping with girls. I mean come on what do I look like? A Gay friend?”-And she is only slightly hesitant when he shoves a black little dress at her – I think that will do, he says- When she is out of the changing room he is flirting with one of the workers of the shops so she only rolls her eyes and laugh.

The dress shows all the curves she didn´t know she had, is sultry but somewhat elegant and when Gary´s thumb goes up she doesn´t hesitate to take it home with her.

But the dress is only the beginning. Because after he is shoving her in front a woman that start working in her hair and her face.

She can barely believe that the girl-woman that look at her from the other side of the mirror is her. She doesn´t recognize herself.

“See? You are beautiful” The Gary in the mirror says, she can see his smirk in front of her and feel his warmth behind her.

Their relationship is not romantic, they are the best kind of friends really, even if sometimes she doesn´t understand quite well what the implication of this friendship are. But his words do make her feel really beautiful.

This is the first time in so long that she felt really beautiful.  The first time she feel in control just like when she was in a scenery making a performance.

-» «-

The club is thriving with people, energy and happiness. She is truly awed and doesn´t realize that she is frozen in one place close to the doors they had come in until Gary shoves her shoulder with amusement showing in all his face.

There are so many colors!

The lights shine in a dance of color that change with the music beats. Red- bum- Purple –tun, tun tun- blue –ban- yellow –dum dum-  Green –prum, prum- yellow –thum- and all over again.

She doesn´t like to think in yellow or green. Because her hair is yellow while his eyes are green. And the ache in her heart. Oh the ache.

Just for that, sometimes she is grateful that all she can see are shades of gray in her day-by-day life.

But when Gary press a glass with blue liquid in her hand, and when she drowns it and it´s sickly sweet flavor hits it´s warm way in her stomach and dizziness overcomes her head, she sees all kind of colors, and for once Green and yellow are not that bad. They don´t hurt. Nothing does.

Glass after glass make wonders in her body and her mind and the more glasses find its way to her hand less and less her problems seem to matter. Because in the sweetness of her little magic potion there are no place for her mother, her father or Drew. And as the music drowns all her worries she find herself moving her hips and arms in synchrony with the beats of the music.

For the first time in so long she feel completely and totally unlost.

She loves it.

-» «-

May and Gary find a safe sanctuary under the neon lights and the fuzziness the sweet drink brings them. This place it’s happy and nothing can haunt them here.

Here she is beautiful and she is free.

Here the broken part of her start gluing together making something new, making sense even if only for a few hours before they are shattered again. But in that time her broken self is only a ghost so far away.

Here there is no Drew to drain her thought with ghost words or vivid images.

-» «-

It have been two more months and the contest season is just around the street. She doesn´t know where the time flew.

They been traveling around, trying new clubs and staying long enough if one of them catch their attention too much.

Their dynamic has changed in all the right ways. They still not romantic involved but the walls of the prudency and modesty had fallen.

They start sharing a room, sometimes even a bed, since when? She doesn´t know, and they don´t mind too much because they only use it to stumble and pass out early in the mornings.

Gary holds her hair –Long, every time longer because pretty girls have long hair- when May is hunched over the toilet, those times when the biting cold of the tiles on her bare knees of the bathroom makes her feel dirty and stupid. And May caress his hair those nights when he start crying for reasons he won`t tell her, she never mentions noting the next morning because she know he doesn´t remember.

They also save each other when unwanted company try to get too close in the club, not that they reject all company altogether. Sometimes with her marshmallow senses and muffled awareness she find herself kissing a pretty boy, she almost never remember their names or faces but she know that they were pretty. As for Gary, well she doesn´t ask when he doesn´t go back to their room some nights.

There are limits they don´t cross, they are not interested in discover what is behind that invisible line they both draw together. Maybe they are just afraid to find out.

It doesn`t matter life is so good right now.

-» «-

She didn´t train too much for her first contest in this new, wonderful region. She knows that early training when her head is still kinda dizzy and her thoughts kinda muffled or afternoon when she can`t wait for the night, are not the best way to train her pokemons.

Still she gives her best because she loves her pokemon and they deserve a good trainer. Also because if she busy herself enough with her attacks and performances there is no room to think of anything else, of anyone else and she can have a productive day until night comes and she can get back to her heaven where she is untouchable.

This new paradise she just meet gives her a fresh perspective and she tries to simulate the bright colors and shiny lights in her performances. Maybe this look like a new stile and technic for her, but the true she doesn´t want to face herself is, that she is truly just trying for her night life to mixt with other aspect of her life, That way she can feel powerful for longer than a couple of hours.

Gary helps with battle training and gives her tips here and there.

It´s not that she feel confident enough when she decide to go for the first contest of the region to get her first ribbon, is just that she doesn´t care all that much as long she can either celebrate a victory or nurse a lost in the night.

Paparazzi go crazy when they see her and the attention is so overwhelming that she wish she could taste one of those blue drinks and pretend the flashes of the cameras are nothing more than a pretty cacophony of color in the night.

They ask question she can´t fully understand and they shout to get her attention, to say tight about other things she doesn`t want to think about. All she want to do is sink in the floor and disappear.  

And then Gary is there taking her away from the preying eyes hungry for her to make a mistake so they can bring her down, down, down.

“If they going to talk at least give them something to talk about” He says in a hushed tone.

The next morning there are news about her.

How she kicked everyone asses in the contest and won the first ribbon of the season.

How she apparently is in a romantic relationship with Gary Oak. They both scoff at this, and then a fit of laughter overcomes them.

Both news treated with equally importance for the media.

She doesn`t truly know to which of them Gary was referring to when he said she should give them something to talk about.

She doesn´t care.

-» «-

Her whole style has changed, she finally feels pretty like the girls on the streets and magazines, her skin is flawless, her hair longer and the constant outing and dancing made her skinnier, her legs are slender when she put on dresses or shorts, and her waist is tinier, even her face has lost all the baby fat she didn´t know she still had.

Her clothes too, changed, she no longer uses bandanas or biker shorts. Gary usually tell her what looks good on her so she can be sultry and enticing in the night and more subtle and fresh in the morning.

People like it, so she do it for them to like her too.

People are not going to like too much this particular day though.

She is wearing a faded jean short, sneakers and tank top, her hair is messy and under her eyes are bags. She feels so ugly.

At least skitty doesn´t think so because she is nuzzling her head in her leg and pressing her wet nose in her calf, May absently pats her head.

Two day away from her next contest and she is out of ideas, her head still foggy from last night and her stomach constricting every time she sips of her mug of coffee.

She is sure she is so un-pretty right now.  

But this has to go away, she has to win her next ribbon. Because this is her third contest and could be as well her third ribbon to.

If she wins people will not care she is un-pretty, they will like her anyway. She firmly tell herself.

So she is unaware of the catune that is wildly gesturing to her and her skitty. However she have little time to be surprised before she is enveloped in a bone crushing hug by a wailing guy in a costume similar to the pokemon that is looking at her with wide eyes. She doesn´t understand what the hell the guy is saying and that make her head hurt.

Please. Please just shut up.

“… And we were so worried, where…”

“Stop!, just… stop” She says, positively cutting him off of his babbling.

He takes her in, and he doesn´t seem all together happy to what he sees. She feels awful when his eyes scan her.

Back to ugly. So ugly. A loser.

His eyes dries up and narrow in an inquisitive frown.

“Where have you been?” Ask Harley in a collected manner, his voice has not the usual high pitched quality he always carry on. And that takes her aback. “Why didn´t you take our calls? We were so worried!” He seems almost serious and that make her uneasy “with all that happen with your pare…” And then he stops abruptly, there must be something in her face, because he is looking at her in a weird way.

Lies. He lies. He doesn´t worry. He never did. No one never did.

Harley green eyes are piercing through her. And there is the green, all in him is green and she still doesn´t like green at least is mixed with other colors and glimmer lights and loud music. And suddenly thing go back to be black again, and that’s the history of her life and black and white and gray are easier to handle sometimes.

There must be silence for a long time because she can see how his worriedness increase. Harley is so expressive.

“What are you talking about?”

And he sits in front of her as he tells her that Solidad, Drew –

Oh god, why, why. Please no

…and he had spent this five months trying to reach her. That they are worried for her…

Liar, liar pants on fire

…that they know what happened with her family…

Everyone know, all of them

…that they want to help

She doesn´t need help, she has she pretty color and fruity drinks. She is fine!

…That as soon as the new about her fist contest extended to other regions

Not because she won, she thinks bitterly

…they took their things and came her

It´s not fair, it´s not. This is her place, this is hers.

He speaks and she is numb, oh so numb.

She doesn`t listen because it hurts, the throbbing pain always pulsating in her blood, pumping constantly in her heart, that pain that dulls in middle of the pretty color and blinding light, is back in full force, and she is bleeding again, bleeding and bleeding and dying.

He looks at her as she is a ghost as she leaves and she doesn´t find in her to give a damn about it.

Later May drowns glass after glass and her pain is forgotten behind the burning sensation in her throat.

However the night end up with the pretty girl with brunette hair sliding down the hard wall to lay in the cold floor of the bathroom, cleaning her mouth with the back of her hand and letting the tears wet her skin. She fall sleep to the smell of her own puke.

-» «-

She didn´t win the contest.

But she can`t be disappointed. In fact she is happy. Happily dazzled.

Because yesterday she was introduced to this little white pill.

It looked so unintimidating but when it made her life positively burst in colors, and made her dance so gracefully and so free, the little white pill was a blessing. The white gave her back all of her colors and let her vanished in euphoria and it was pretty, pretty so, so, so pretty.

And she was beautiful again. She was in control again and once again, she wasn´t she. She was better.

Even now when, she close her eyes she can still see the glitter paint and neon lights, the beams of blue, specks of red, lightning strikes of purple. All behind her eyelids and dancing through her eyelashes.

She feels how the numbness of the night slowly crawl it´s way to the day. And she is happy. And free.

And then there is Solidad, there is Drew and there is Harley. And she feels pain the moment Drew eyes connect with hers, she can`t read anything in them because the green is so overwhelming.

And why is so Green.

But then Solidad is hugging her and for a moment she doesn`t need her little white pill because she is Solidad and Solidad is warm and her hugs chase the shadows away. May hugs her back, because in her arms she can be a scared child just for a little while.

“We came as soon as Harley called us” She says taken her shoulders to put some distance but she is looking at her face with worry in her eyes.

We.

Right. WE.

And no, no, Solidad why aren´t you hugging me anymore?

But out of the safety of her arms she is no child anymore and with the pill in her system she is not scared either. So she smiles.

“I don´t know what Harley told you, but don´t look so worried. I´m fine!” And she giggles goofly because she feels like it.

She can feel the calculating and unmoving glace Drew is giving her. But she discovers that if she concentrate in the pretty sensation the little blessing have in her not even him can bother her that much.

But he gets close and no, no, not even the remains of her magic pill can numb her feelings or made them pretty this time. Not whit how little of it remain running through her veins.

He is in front of her –when did Solidad moved?- and she feel shame, there are other things but the shame overpowers them and pain because that’s a constant so she doesn´t count it anymore. Because it´s pretty clear she is pain, right?

“May” He says, and he is still so beautiful that it´s not fair. His voice is deep and rich and with that world he is shattering her word into nothingness. Again.

And they are talking, Solidad and Harley are there too, she tries so hard to look collected, normal that she fails to notice what they are talking about. They are so close to her, like they afraid that she is going to run and they would be unable to catch her if they are not with one hand ready to stop her.

It´s suffocating. Solidad`s soft and sweet voice, saying thing like she is talking to a child, Drew concerned eyes piercing her soul leaving her defenseless, and Harley wary posture like she is made of glass and it´s about to fall. That all she is capable to catch in the little pauses of clarity she has.

All she been working to do with herself is slipping through her fingers and she is going to break. This was what they want? They are going to break her! They want to see her broken.

They pause and Drew is touching her face, the concern in his eyes almost tangible and Solidad is running her fingers in her hair equally  alarmed. Harley gives them a look, like he knew this was going to happen.

And just like that that moment is over because Gary – Dearest Gary - is there in the blink of an eye. He still seems to be dazzled as he put his arm around her shoulders breaking her from her rivals… no, no, not her rival she don´t deserve to be that. She is such a bad coordinator.

Gary barely register their presence before dragging her away “You have to meet my friends. You going to love them!” He exclaims and she is relived and right now she loves Gary so much. With a tiny wave to the three astonished people she is leaving behind she is out of their grasp again.

They are not far, she can feel their burning stare in the back of her head. But in that moment with Gary´s arm in her waist and her face in his chest, with another guys in front of her cracking loud laughs and smiling brightly, she doesn´t care. She doesn´t want to care.

Gary is safe and their relationship is not romantic, they just do this for each other. Let the darkness consume them and put fake lights so it´s not so bad for them.

They love each other but are in love with other person. And that`s how they work. That`s how they hurt together.

Catching glimpses of the hard stare Drew is giving her every time she moves her hear to the left, May can´t help but wish Drew can see the way Gary buries his nose in her hair when he is laughing, or how sometimes his hands wanders a little bit while he is talking, and perhaps feel some of the pain she carries inside her.

She know that is not going to happen. But she hopes anyway.

-» «-

She doesn´t know in what moment that girl star showing up in all the places she and Gary go to have fun. But she know that’s the moment everything start to go wrong.

Her name Is Leaf Green. And Gary is so sad when she is around. May feels she is losing him because every day he seem to be slipping between her finger and she can´t hold him.

Yes physically he is there but still he is somewhere else. He start leaving earlier and always with a different girl. Never with the other brunette, but May knows this is her fault. Therefore when she is in the bathroom alone and no one holds her hair or rubs her back she curses the other girl with words she can feel and pain she can´t comprehend.  

She is alone again.

-» «-

She didn´t enter a single contest since her spiky brunette haired friend starts to drive away from her. Because she knows she eventually is going to bump with one of the coordinators that can´t keep their trap shut and start disarming her carefully constructed fantasy word with their words and questions; and how is she going to face that without Gary?

However she know she have to keep getting more ribbons. Because people love her when she win ribbons and will forget her if she stop entering contests.

Gary forgot her, she doesn´t want anyone more to forget her.

Because if they don`t acknowledge she is here, she will disappear.    

The contest is full, and there is no Solidad, there is no Harley, oh if she only could be so lucky Drew wouldn´t be here either. But she is not lucky, luck left her so long ago, and so, here he is.

The beautiful brunette still loves him. Her love is masochist and always hurts her.

She doesn`t know how to unlove him so she does the best she can. She evades him.

All day she just keep finding ways to be away from him. It´s not that difficult not that easy, May is actually very clueless about his behavior. At first he seems like he is trying to catch her, to corner her; but then he is there everywhere she goes close enough for her to talk to him but looking indifferent at her presence.

And that makes her angry. Because he is there, every fucking second of every fricking minute, but doesn`t do anything. Not. A. Single. Thing.

And she is angry, and she is confused. And those feeling makes her feel so…

Small.

Powerless.

Still, in the end she wins.

Drew got beaten by someone and she defeated that someone. And so, one more ribbon.

The green haired boy –Green again, that color- seemed to be out of it from the whole contest. Like he couldn`t bring himself to make the right moves or react fast enough –and smart enough- to his opponent. She can tell because she knows him so well

May doesn`t want to worry about it but she does anyway. And that constant ache in her heart jut incrassate, and it not fair! It´s not fair because after all she`s done to make it hurt less and forget, just forget – inwardly she knows she accomplished nothing in that regard- is enough with his crestfallen expression and his out-of-his-game attitude for her to be upset again.

Because no matter how bad she want not to care, she still does.

Later in the day she sinks that worriedness with sweet fruity drinks in a dizzy head.

That night she kisses this guy she was dancing and having fun with so hard, because maybe if she does the eternal memory of Drew lips on her will stop burning in her mind.

She is not successful, granted, she had kissed boys before, this time her actions haunts her.

Next morning she wakes up at the pounding of the door. Her eyes are unfocused and her mind blurry and this awful feeling creeping in her stomach, like she did something wrong.

Gary is by her side without shirt, a shoe on and the other off hair messy and so far by the side of the bed they shared that she may fall off any second now. He is completely knocked out too.

And if he is here then who`s at the door?

-» «-

Drew is sitting in front of her in a little coffee close to her hotel.

She really shouldn`t have open the fucking door.

His face is stone and his jaw clenches and unclenches almost rhythmical, although his eyes were a softer shade of green the moment she opened the door, from the moment he had spotted Gary in the bed his expression had hardened, his eyes particularly were uncharacteristic heated. An irritation she could barely recognize from those far between moments when he truly was livid.

Maybe he had drawn the wrong conclusion. She couldn’t bring herself to care or correct him. She is still mild lightheaded and her body still tingles.

Drew is looking at her and her heartbeat is rising. Nop, she is too sober for this.

“Well” He demands.

“Well” she echoes, challenge in her voice. For this is the only way they know how to be with him. And no matter how many time she had already backed down, this time he is not winning because she doesn`t have any left to lose. Not while she is these sober anyway.

“Who’s that guy?”

“Does it matter?”

“Fuck May don`t give me that!”

“Give you what? Truly Drew who that guy is and what my relationship with him is, is not truly your business” You chose it that way, is what is left unsaid

“Says who?” Sensing this dconversation was taking another direction. An unwanted one, she quickly redirected the conversation

“Look Drew my head is hurting. I don`t need this right now. You wanted me to come here, here I am. You wanted to talk about something, so please just do so”

He looks at her barely conceiting his shock. She herself was a little dumbstruck at her own bitter yet cool way to handle the situation. Since she was prone to lash out at the tiniest incentive, her reaction caught both of them off guard.

“Ok… just, ok. Look there is… We need to talk about so many things” She tilts her head in curiosity, this is the first time he is stuttering in front of her. He notice this and compose himself, and that is the Drew she knows always putting a cold mask, she loved him that way too “But the most important thing right now is you. How are you faring? You know, with what happened with you parents”

“Aw, come on, are seriously asking me that?” Like you really care.

“I am. Now answer the question" A pause  "Please.”

“To be quite frank at this point I don`t really care” And it´s part true. She is generally so numb that she can barely care about anything anymore.

“Don`t believe you”

“Why wouldn`t you?”

“Really” He challenges her. She doesn`t back down and keeps his stare raising an eyebrow to make a better effect “For start this” He make a loose gesture in her direction “is so out of you character” He glares at her shirt. Gary`s shirt she picked out of the floor before opening the door early that day. But regardless that he is scowling at her shirt she knows he is trying to signal her whole appearance, from her messy hair and short shorts to her reading glasses and pale face “And secondly, you forgetting May, that I have known you for years now and if there is something I can tell about you is that you feel too much. Too strong. This couldn`t just pass you by without having an effect on you”

“Is that so? Is that what you believe? Well then, please illuminate me, cause I`m seem to be at lost in this regard” She is getting angry, her heart picking up the pace.

“You are emotional person May. Your heart have more weight than your head in any situation. Don`t try to look me in the face and lie, cause I know better”

“Oh! You will have to excuse me then your great grace that apparently know it all. I had no idea had figure out my character better than I am”

“Didn`t I?”

He seems so sure, he may even be right. She hates him all the more for it.

“Fuck you Drew”

“Can you stop being too defensive and pick out a fight? In normal circumstances I would glad to humor you and engage in one of the silly bickering that you seem to like so much. But I`m trying to stay serious now.” He is getting frustrated now. She can tell for the look in his eyes and the way his lips slightly purse updown.

“Yeah, because patronizing me makes this such a thoughtful conversation”

“Ok, fine. Please stop May. I`m trying here, this is not my kind of thing, I´m not the one whose good at peep talk and the sort this is Solidad kind of thing”

“And why are you even trying? No one ask this of you”

“No one did, that`s right. I`m doing because I care”

A red alarm goes on inside her head. This is an off topic. Maybe if she doesn’t acknowledge this subject it will not hurt anymore.

“Oh, yeah because that so obvious. Could have fool me”

“You are doing it again. Trying to shoot me off”

“Well it would make well it you take a hint

“This isn`t you” His eyes calculating, his posture tense. But there is something else, he seems sad.

“You dare to come here and tell me what I am? Who I am and how I feel? Who the hell do you think you are?” She hiss, barely containing her rage.

How dare he?

“I`m your friend. I`m someone who cares. And I’m worry for you”

“I don’t need it Drew! I`m fine, I`m happy and I don`t need you not I want anything to do with you” May lash out, her voice higher at the end.

She is standing with every intention to leave but hand clasps around her upper arm stops her with a steady hold.

“I know you are not! There is something off about you, your mood changes and… and, look I know something it`s not right. I`m not stupid, I know you are not good dealing with your emotions and I know that you usually take it against yourself.”

Drew`s hand drops hers. The skin where he had touched her dousing in a bitter cold that immediately spread all the way to her heart.

“Ok, that`s enough. I don`t have to stand for this, you have zero right to meddle in my life like this. You didn`t care before so why don`t you go to pry in your girlfriends life where you may be more welcomed and fuck off”

May begs for her voice not to crack.

This time she turns around a leave. However she can hear Drew calling her name but in the end he doesn`t stop her and he don`t follow her.

That night she doesn`t go out, and the lack of magic in her veins make her more aware of the pain settling in her heart and weighting her limbs.

That night she cry herself to sleep.

.× ▬▬▬▬▬x.

Review?

[sueboohscorner]

#OnceUponATime S7 Ep 9 “One Little Tear” Recap & Review

This was a hard episode for me especially the ending, but let me tell how we got to the heart-breaking heading. 

We start in Another Realm and Rapunzel is riding through the woods with her family and stops to find them something to eat. Rapunzel accidentally wonders into Gothel’s garden, Rapunzel is unapologetic and offer to work for the food she took. Gothel senses Rapunzel desperation and asks what she would do to ensure that her family was happy, and she responded anything, and Gothel throws some magic dust on Rapunzel trapping her in the tower. Gothel tells Rapunzel that there was no way out of the tower and her family will never find her, Rapunzel who is now Lady Tremaine screams for her husband and daughter Drizella and Anastasia. 

Back in Hyperion Heights Tremaine is still locked up and Drizella visits her mother to ask her where she hid her sister body, but Tremaine tells Drizella that she knows that Drizella only wanted the magic from Anastasia’s body. Drizella offers to help Tremaine get out of there not that she controls all of Tremaine assets, but Tremaine tells Drizella that she does need her help to get out of jail. Tremaine reminds Drizella that this was not the first time someone tries to lock her up, “when it comes to my family I always find a way,” said Tremaine.

Lucy expresses her excitement to be living with her mom and aunty Tiana again, Lucy asks Cinderella if they could invite Henry over to share the good news, but Cinderella told Lucy that should make it through day one first and can talk about it again. Cinderella and Tiana discuss her relationship with Henry and Cinderella tell Tiana that she doesn’t know where it is going and that Henry has left town with Roni. Back at the precinct Rumple goes to take Tremaine back to her cell, but Tremaine made Rumple an offer he could not refuse. Tremaine made Rumple aware that she knows he was awake and offer to tell him about the Guardian he is looking for to get back to Belle and Rumple “I would say you got yourself a deal Rapunzel.”

Back in Another realm we see Rapunzel recording the number of days, and she looks out, and there were lanterns in the sky. Rapunzel looks down and then back at the length of her hair and attached it to a hook and climbed down “this is for your family be brave.”- Rapunzel

Again in Hyperion Height Tremaine is out of Jail thanks to Rapunzel much to Hooks disappointment, Hook tell Rumple that he will get to the bottom of what he was getting for helping Tremaine. Rumple asks Tremaine where Anastasia body was, but Tremaine told Rumple that it does matter if they find her now if they don’t have the means to wake up and that they needed to make a few stops. Tremaine shows up at Cinderella house and gives her paper granting her full custody of Lucy, and there was not a catch telling her that she handed her the same paper years ago and she signs it meaning she was not ready. Tremaine feed them some bull shit and give her a dolly telling Cinderella that Lucy was quite a loves of it.

Back in Another Realm Rapunzel run toward the lantern origin, and see her two-daughter sending them up. Drizella is telling Anastasi that it was a waste of time because it has been six years and she doesn’t think that their mother will see them or that she is coming back, but Anastasia tells Drizella that it was some different about the night. Rapunzel comes up from behind and great Anastasia while Drizella just stood back and watched, her husband came out and embraced her telling her that she thought was dead. Rapunzel tells Marcus what happened why he could not find her, and Cinderella came out the house and asked, “father who is that.” Marcus says to her go back inside the house and explain to Rapunzel that she was her stepdaughter. Cecelia comes out the house and asks Marcus the same question and Marcus introduce Rapunzel to his new wife, Cecelia. 

Back in Hyperion Heights Drizella and Gothel are in a parked car following Tremaine, Gothel warns Drizella not to underestimate Tremaine, but Drizella is confident that she will win against her mother.

Back in Another Realm Drizella and Anastasia have tea with there mother, Marcus comes along and sends the girls home so that he can talk with Rapunzel. Marcus tells Rapunzel who is worried that the girls still loves her, but Rapunzel feels Drizella drifting further away from her. Marcus gives Rapunzel the coat that she was wearing when she went missing and thanked her for the sacrifice she made for him and the girls. Rapunzel asks Marcus if he still loves her and Marcus told her that he did, and their girl means the world to him, but so does Cinderella and Cecelia. Rapunzel starts to cry, and Gothel appears and makes her an offer, Gothel hands Rapunzel and magical mushroom from wonderland and tell her that if she squeezes a little into Cecelia’s tea, she can get rid of her forever. Rapunzel refuse throwing it in the fire, and it reappears, and Gothel tells her that it will test her true nature.

Back in Hyperion Heights, Nick is at Cinderella’s house looking over the custody paper to see if they were legit and Nick tell Cinderella that it all seems right. Cinderella got overly excited and kissed Nick, but it got awkward quickly, and Cinderella tells Nick that she was not ready for that kind of relationship. 

Hook goes to Rumple's storage opening it but setting off the fire alarm, he goes through Rumple boxes and finds files on everyone in Hyperion Height and a hook in a bag. Hook visits Tiana and congratulate her on the improvement of the truck, and ask her about a drawing a knife from the fired case, and Tiana draws the knife for Hook and tells him that Rumple put it in her hand and asked if she felt anything.

Rumple and Tremaine go underground and gets a bag, Rumple tells Tremaine that Drizella has been following them since the police station, but Tremaine tells Rumple that she doesn’t care. Rumple question why Tremaine was going through so much to wake when daughter when the other was outside and share a story about him and his son. Tremaine tells Rumple not to compare his grieve to her and that Drizella has not been her daughter for a long time. 

Back in Another Realm the adult through a birthday party for Drizella and Anastasia, Cecelia tells Rapunzel that she didn’t need to work at her children birthday party. Marcus comes up and says to Rapunzel that Cecelia was trying and if she notices how the children got along and they should try to do the same. Rapunzel tells Marcus that Cecelia was taking care of her children and she feels like she is not needed. Marcus assures her that her girls will always need her, and Rapunzel looks on as Anastasia hugs Cecelia and called her mother and thanked her for the gift. Rapunzel goes inside upset and uses the poison mushroom in Cecilia’s tea. 

Back in Hyperon Height Drizella and Gothel goes down underground to catch Tremaine but runs into Rumple instead who tells her that the next time she was tailing someone she should learn how to do it better first. Drizella tells Gothel to let them leave, but Gothel tells Drizella that she needed to have a word with Rumple. Gothel tells Rumple that Drizella talks too much, Gothel try to work her charm on Rumple to get him to her side. Gothel tells Rumpke that to wake Anastasia, Tremaine must take away the hope of an innocent and ask if he knew where Lucy whereabouts. 

Lucy is coming out of school and is met by Tremaine who shows her the Once Upon a Time Book and tells Lucy that she as right all along, but she did not know the entire story and told Lucy to come with her to hear more. Tremaine tells Lucy that she is Rapunzel and that she did poison Cecelia because a witch manipulated her, but she did not kill her but sent her away, and Marcus went after Cecelia but came back to her in the end.

We jump to the page where Lucy was looking on and see what happened to Anastasia. The three girls were on an ice pond playing with a snowman and the hat blew off, and Cinderella goes after the cap and the crack as Anastasia goes to help her and they both fell in. Marcus and Rapunzel who was on the side, Marcus run and jump in the ice water and pulls out Cinderella and tell Rapunzel that he could only take one.

Back in Hyperion Height Tremaine take Lucy to see Anastasia, Lucy asks her why she was telling me all this and Tremaine use the opportunity to manipulate Lucy into giving her hopes up about a happy ending. Tremaine shows Lucy a video of Cinderella kissing Nick telling Lucy that Henry met nothing to her mother making Lucy feel like there was no hope for parents anymore and Lucy started to cry. A teardrop form Lucy fell on the book and run out. (Let me tell you how I wanted to knock out Tremaine for doing that to Lucy).

Back in Another Realm, Rapunzel takes Anastasia to Gothel who magically locks in Anastasia last breath making hew hang on between life and death. Gothel tells Rapunzel that Anastasia will be going in the towel and tell her that it was not a punishment when she was in the tower, but a test. Gothel tells Rapunzel that she has been looking for a hero pure of heart the Guardian someone incorruptible by evil willing to sacrifice. Gothel tells Rapunzel that when she had sacrificed everything to save her family she though Rapunzel was the one but after poisoning and innocent for her good she failed the test. Gothel tells Rapunzel that Anastasia was going to take her place in the towel and reached for the potion to trap Anastasia, but Rapunzel steals it and tramps Gothel in the tower. “Don’t worry my dearest I will bring you back.”- Rapunzel

Back in Hyperion Heights Rumple and the other officer looks for Lucy, Hooks comes up and try to question Rumple about the knife Tiana drew from him.  Rumple tells Hook it was not of his business; Hook questions Rumple why he had files on everyone and that if he wanted to say to him something he should do it already. Rumple tells Hook that he was looking for someone and that he was separated from his wife Belle and he would do anything to get to here and all that he is doing is in service to that. Hook tell Rumple he believes him and offers to her and Rumple tells him that for now, they find Lucy.

Lucy cries all the way home and as soon as she got home back at the hospital Tremaine used Lucy’s tear from the book to wake Anastasia and Lucy passes out in Cinderella’s arm. Drizella looks on as her mother wakes Anastasia who is awake and happy to see her mother.

This was a great episode, the backstory was interesting, and find out that Tremaine was Rapunzel was delightful, we also know why Tremaine hates Cinderella so much. Now I am curious about what will happen to Lucy, are they going to do something like what happened between Emma and Henry that would be cool. Tremaine is so evil and selfish I hope Anastasia doesn’t forgive her because she was always pure. I would give this episode a 9/10.  

[rkbyunbaek]

Wendy likes to think she chose the best possible gifts she can think of for her friends. She did go through some sort of struggle looking for these, and she somehow managed to make it through. They just needed a good chance to meet. 

She sneaks over to where Royal is holding dance lessons. She then requests the security guard manning the area to give two packages to Baekhyun oppa. She’s written a letter on the bigger box.  

Dearest Baekhyun oppa,

Merry Christmas! 

In the spirit of the holidays, I figured I should help your scented candle collection by sending one that makes you feel like your sipping tea while having some of your grandma’s pumpkin (or apple) pie in front of a warm, cozy fire.   

I know we’re not allowed to eat sweets anymore, but my mother kept these cookies as sugar- and fat-free as possible. Hahaha… At the very least, please share them with your family or anyone important to you~ 

With all my love, 

Wendy

there’s some mild confusion when one of the staff members hands him a bag with two packages inside the moment he steps out of the practice room for his break, it actually startles him a lot and he just blinks at the man as he explains that some trainee girl from another company brought it over for him.

he bows briefly to thank him before baekhyun rushes into the changing rooms to take a closer look at it.

the first thing he does is reading the letter that’s attached to one of the boxes once he’s put them both in front of him on the floor, smiling lightly to himself because he recognizes the handwriting right away, it’s not easy because he really likes the way wendy writes. her note takes the surprise out of the presents but it doesn’t really matter to baekhyun, because he’s so happy over getting something from her. he opens the first box, seeing the candle and taking it into his hands immediately, looking at it from all sides. and his eyes flicker back to the girl’s note, laughing over the way she described the scent before he smells on it, inhaling deeply once, twice. he’s not quite sure if it’s the same scent as wendy said but it does indeed smell well and it will make a good use next to the ones he got from her for his birthday that are still on his desk at home.

then, he goes after the second box, groaning at the sight of the delicious looking cookies. ah, it’s almost like a sin. baekhyun looks around to check if he’s alone, before he quickly stuffs one of them into his mouth, sighing in bliss because, wow, they’re so good. how is he supposed to share them with anyone? how is he supposed to not eat them all up right away? he keeps himself from eating another one by closing the box again, instead, takes his phone out of the pocket of his sweats.

he quickly searches for wendy in his contacts.

(text: wendy) i got your packages!! ㅋ (text: wendy) thank you so much!!!!! i’m so happy~~!! ♥♥ (text: wendy) i’ll use the candle well and i’ll eat those cookies well too (text: wendy) who cares about dieting ㅋㅋㅋ... (text: wendy) oh and pls tell your mom she makes rly awesome cookies!!