#send prayers (and edits of natalia dyer. good god.)

[justiceforplutoo]

I feel like steddies are always going for bi steve/gay eddie but consider: comphet gay steve/bi eddie. I'm so sure someone's said this before but...consider with me, ok?

consider a young child steve whose father still works in hawkins but is never with the family, leaving steve with his mother and his mother's girl-friends. they talk all about their husbands and their families and one day steve, all innocent, asks his mom, "when will I get a husband?"

his mother clutches her chest and says, "oh no, stephen, that isn't how that works."

steve who confusedly nods along and goes with it.

steve who chastises himself every time he catches himself staring in the locker room, or in gym, or at swim meets.

steve who finds himself, years later, confused as to why he can't find himself feeling for the girls he dates the way they do for him.

steve who convinces himself that he'll find the right girl one day.

consider steve sitting on the floor of the starcourt bathrooms with robin, covered head to toe in vomit and blood. and this is it, right? this is the part where he gets the girl. and something in him cringes at the thought. something in him says, no, you don't want her.

he brushes it off as king steve telling him who he should and shouldn't date.

and then robin starts panicking and talking about tammy thompson (oh.) and suddenly they're singing muppets and steve has this paradigm shift because he doesn't have to get the girl.

it takes him a couple months and one "don't ya, big boy?" to make him realize that he doesn't have to get the girl.

and it's funny - honestly, it is - because robin comes out and so does will and eddie is...himself, but steve thinks to himself, well, that's good for them, but it could never be me.

and he keeps saying that it could never be him until the split second before he realizes it is him.

it could never be him, he thinks, but rocky horror picture show is playing in the background and eddie leans into his space and talks all about how sexy rocky's body is and somehow that leads to jocks and somehow that leads to, "so what do you like, steve?"

and somehow that leads to a strained and breathless, "I think I like you, eddie."

and then they're kissing, and steve is desperately pawing at eddie's collar, unsure where to put his hands. it's a blur, and all steve really registers is that they're kissing, and then-

and then steve starts crying. silently, at first, and in the heat of the moment, unnoticeable, except then steve is pushing eddie away and eddie looks hurt.

"I read that wrong, didn't I?" says eddie.

steve gulps in air, face red, and barely manages out a "no".

"...no?"

"I don't think I like girls, eddie. but I like you."

"you know you can like both, right? I mean, I do."

steve nods, then shakes his head. "I think I just like boys, eddie."

"oh, okay."

eddie leans in for another kiss.