#semidepressed

[booksandhotchocolate75]

[fromkamal]

so ive been inactive to no compare

[furiosity-wills-the-cat]

Chara, the fourth Blook cousin:

A crack theory that accidentally become way more serious than it should have because it somehow, despite my best efforts, ended up making sense

Brought to you by my idiot conspiracy brain (affectionate) and by encouragement from my Tumblr followers

Under the cut for the sake of your dashes and sanity

Ok here we go my very elaborate accidental theory, because in order to answer the complex questions simply you must first make simple things more complex or something

First, you need to know that Chara became a Blook cousin by adoption.

All of the Blooks are adopted.

Ghosts are not born into families, they make their own.

Got it? Great, because we’re about to start running

so first, im gonna make surprisingly uncommon claim in this fandom, and I am going to say that undertale ghosts are all dead

I’m taking the tiny details we know about ghosts and sprinting with them to new places

Ghosts also do not have souls I decided

Undertale souls do not work the same as souls in traditional mythology

So every ghost is soulless Unless and Until they become corporeal

Evidence: Monster souls cant exist without bodies, and ghosts are monsters, therefore ghosts cannot have souls without bodies

Further evidence: Asriel doesnt steal blooky’s soul, blooky is unkillable, we have no concrete evidence that blooky has a soul

What about mettaton? He only has a soul after he has completely committed to being corporeal and to a specific body.

Also maddy and mettaton are both only killable while corporeal

Im also connecting the dots we have about souls in a new creative way so let me live for a second

Additionally, i am going to claim that there are a lot more ghosts than just the blooks, some evidence given below

Theres like actual scientific knowlege of ghosts in the undertale verse which seems unlikely if theres literally only three or four

The underground is so much bigger than you think, theres that giant forest in snowdin, a large town in the ruins, the huge city of new home, who knows how much space in the large open areas of waterfall etc. Its really really big okay

Also based off evidence of blooky, we can conclude that ghosts can turn invisible whenever they want to and/or haunt objects to hide

So I personally think that ghosts are, generally speaking, extremely reclusive

And the blooks are just a special exception, a beautiful family, amazing for them

So anyway im going with typical ghost lore for now, for the sake of ease, so im gonna say ghosts generally come from monsters who are particularly restless or unsatisfied when they die

HOWEVER i dont think they remember being monsters or anything before being a ghost. They just kinda fizzle into existance with a fully formed personality and immortality while being unkillable and feeling vaguely uneasy

ALSO i personally think that chara was a ghost for a long time before they became a blook by adoption

Based on game lore, i think ghosts can possess any inanimate object and just kinda wear it? But it takes a lot of strong emotion to become corporeal

And chara is the super weird exception because they were a human not a monster.

They dont have a soul (i headcanon that their soul got destroyed when asriel died)

And they KNOW this, which is a huge part of why they kinda just... give up

Because they lost their ability to fulfill prophecy

Also, without a soul, they lost their ability to reset, so for the first time since falling underground, theyre subject to the relentless march of time

But theyre still weirdly strong and powerful and more emotional

ALSO they DO still remember being a human but they catch on pretty quickly that other ghosts dont have memories and because chara is stupid they just lie to fit in

Theyre too tired to explain themself, they just want to be alone and feel awful

Now back to ghost lore

Emotions are a lot harder for ghosts??? I decided

And they dont know why,, they tend to blame it on the soul thing

But realistically its actually more of the immortality thing making actions not have consequences and/or or not having a body so they cant have a sense of touch or have physical effects of emotion

They all know that ghosts just tend to be way more floaty and bored and numb

And thats part of why the blooks are so special

Maddy’s rage and Mettaton’s yearning and Napstablook’s misery are like... not great all of the time...

but theyre also way way more emotion than most ghosts have,,, they are just a family supporting each other, being as functional as they can,, just an emo(tional) ghost family

most ghosts barely do anything except like stare at walls but the blooks have their snail farm and that helps them have purpose and it is good

And they hold each other accountable and it is nice

So anyway chara just chills and is in a depression coma for a few decades before the blooks find them and are like “our child/baby cousin”

and they raise them for a cool minute

They are all very protective of the new baby emo blook

And chara doesnt get therapy but at the very least they once again have a family, and they decide they want to try to become corporeal eventually just like mtt and maddy

So anyway chara starts hanging out in the ruins a lot more and they finally tell the blooks theyre leaving to go become corporeal in the ruins

This is actually because they are trying to hang out with toriel

because they miss their mom ;;

but chara’s not gonna admit that to anyone, especially not to themself

And because theyre still repressing their emotions constantly and pretending to be fine, they cant become corporeal

And they hang out in the ruins for a long time because they feel guilty lying to everyone about everything

They still feel like its their fault that all the monsters are stuck underground, because they were SUPPOSED to save everyone and they COULDNT and it HURTS

But again, they are doing too much repression to use this guilt to become corporeal,

so instead they just kinda hide and watch toriel from a distance and cry

Blooky visits them the most, thats why blooky is chilling in the ruins so much at the start of the game

Theyre just there to visit their shy baby cousin ;;

Ofc they wont tell frisk about this because chara wants space and privacy and blooky respects that

but maddy and mtt also visit them a lot

Oh also when mtt and maddy start dissapearing, blookys mental health plummets as their family and support system starts to dissolve

Blooky was actually doing extremely well (for a ghost) for a long time, i headcanon,

but theyre doing the worst theyve been in a long long time during the game, because of family issues

So anyway, chara dissapears when frisk shows up, and maddy assumes this is becaude frisk hurt their fragile feelings

Maddy spends hours desperately searching the ruins for chara and cant find them and assumes that they had their heart crushed and went to hide and disappear in a depression coma for another few decades, and thats part of why maddy is so furious with frisk

Like,, to be clear, maddy is still jumping to conclusions and throwing blame around with no proof, but also, its a logical conclusion to come to

And mettaton has already disappeared too and been gone for a while, too, by this point, so it hurts even worse

But anyway, what actually happened to chara is that;

Because chara is a human ghost, not a monster ghost, normal ghost rules dont apply to them

And they can possess living things too they find out

Maybe they knew it a long time ago, maybe its a new discovery, but for whatever reason they end up possessing frisk and theyre like “what the heck”

And frisk still has most of the control

But now chara is like,,, “this is my chance, im a human again, gotta save the world for real,,,”

and they cant explain this to anyone without revealing their past

so they just chill in frisk’s mind while being super crypic and trying to figure out how it works

Pacifist route, this is pretty much exactly what happens

They manage to help frisk save the day

And in my headcanon, the no mercy route is started by frisk who is scared when faced by monsters attacking them

And then chara, who was aready hiding in a semidepression coma for a while, immediately transitions to a panicked “gotta protect this body, gotta protect my chance to be human, i died and threw away my chance to save everyone the first time, i CANNOT lose this chance again”

And so the combination of both frisk and chara is the genocide run

Because frisk kills in self defense, and whenever frisk hesitates, chara jumps in

Also theres leftover feelings from the whole asriel incident

Because again, ghosts come from monsters who died unsatisfied

And chara’s main source of unsatisfaction is how they were trying to get asriel to kill people before he died and then he didnt

So thats a strong strong feeling ruling them

So anyway by the time they both realize how bad its become they figure its too late and also the amount of LOVE has made them numb

And thats when chara who, despite everything, still has idiot hero complex and thinks they need to save the world

So, while panicking, they step in at the very end, and erase the timeline and delete everything

And also to clarify

They DONT HAVE this power at any other point in the game

Because, guess why

They become corporeal

Just like maddy, the no mercy route is the only thing that gives them strong enough emotion to spontaneously become corporeal

So they become corporeal and as soon as they have a soul again and can reset again, they just erase everything

Ok back to fluff

Post pacifist route, they are still a non corporeal ghost

They can still float around and look just like the other blooks

And it takes them a while to open up about things, but they do end up moving back in with blooky so that blooky isnt completely alone

And also they do way better with a family

Also they can float through the mountain and talk to flowey down below and bring him news

And now that they know about him, they can bond with him and explain that they dont have a soul either but that doesnt mean theyre worthless

Oh ALSO

The other dead humans dont have ghosts

BECAUSE

ghosts only come from restless dead MONSTERS

and chara is the weird special exception

Because they were a monster when they died

They became a ghost and asriel didnt because they were way more restless and stressed than asriel was when both of them died

Like sure, asriel felt awful, but chara was the one who was way more like “this is my fault, i CANT die now, the world NEEDS me”

So anyway

charablook the emo tween ghost and asriel flowey the eldrich goat daisy are siblings once more and they hang out and eventually they are okay and have a family again

Thank you for reading, this has been my thoughts on a crack theory that accidentally went too far

This isnt even everything, maybe i’ll make a part two eventually, but i promised to have this post out like two days ago, so i wanted to post SOMTHING

Anyway leave your thoughts if youd like

Im not looking for people to disprove it, i already know its crazy, i dont think it was intentional by the game writers, but i do think its a fun concept

thats the fun of it, so if anyone wants to run with it im all for it lol

Thanks again! Have a nice day!

[partlysmith]

Wanted to go for "chill/semidepressed urban lofi" mood, so here's this.

Patreon

[the--almost--girl]

self-medicated. 

[finita--la--commedia]

I've never been able to write in a normal state. Even banal things, I've never been able to say, "Now I want to write." I always had to be either depressed or angry, furious or disgusted, but never in a normal state. And I write preferably in a state of semidepression. There has to be something that's not right. When one is in a neutral mood, why write ? Why declare things ?

E. M. Cioran, in the interview with Jason Weiss Grand Street. Vol. 5, No. 3 (Spring, 1986), pp. 105-140

[slowlyspiralingdown]

In honor of our anniversary, @semidepressed , I want you to know how much u mean 2 me and how much you've helped me grow as a person and how much I've seen you grow and develop into one of the best friends I have met, I promise that picnic date is coming soon 🤗😻💜🙈

[joro-2002-blog]

Hey...

So... About maybe a week or two ago my counselor gave me a book to give to my mother about Christianity and trans people. I DID give my mother that book and asked her to read it because it had some strong points even in the prologue. Fast fowarding to today... I had asked if she read the book at all (because I was aiming to read it before September when I had to return the book to my counselor) She said "so-so" I asked if she could let me have it back so I could read it a bit. She decides to reply with "There is nothing good in there because let me tell you {deadname}, in the world, people decide to twist the truth onto their favor... And I pray that you will get the wisdom to fix this, I love you regardless because you are my son..."

It was when she said son I just didn't bother to listen anymore and walked away...

Also: Thanks for the support on my last post. I really appreciate it, y'all are awesome!

[epicrealistyoutube]

If this is true, then goddamn; did I really ask for this!? LOL #life #semidepressed #thinking #lonely #wantachange

[haleyincarnate]

Based off of this post by @semidepressed.

[beautyandbait]

I've had to do many hard things in my life. (Luckily not anything extremely hard, but still.) This morning, and this part of this whole new adventure has by far been THE HARDEST thing I have ever had to do in my life so far. First things first, my testimony of eternal families has grown immensely and I can't even express how thankful I am to be sealed to the best family ever for all of eternity. Secondly, my parents are the best people in the entire world and I love them more than words can ever say. I'm so thankful to have grown up with them leading and guiding me. I am so so so blessed. I miss them so much already, I cannot wait to share this new adventure with them. I can only hope that one day I can end up as amazing as they are. I love you so much mommy and daddy, thank you thank you thank you ❤️#ihatethispart #CollegeLife #SemiDepressed #MostlyPumpedandProudToHaveBeenRaisedBySuchAmazingPeople 😭❤️😘😊💗

[evilback-wards]

Quick 20 Minute Story

Sold

     Like newspaper waiting on at checkout; I’m sold. I hate it. I didn’t have the time to read the terms and the conditions. I was just sold. I had no voice in the matter. God simply lined me up on a zip line, slinging me in this direction. During this time period, and the exact moment I was born he swung this soul at me. Sold me to some fetus growing in womans’ womb for quite some time. It was boring, that fetus. The emptiness of memory and simple murmurs from the soon to be outside world. It was as if I was to preview the world I was bought to and forced to accept it. It’s not fair. I wanted to be born in a different line, a streamline of the different nature. But God already did the best he could. He went through the humanity Calculus and decided the optimal time and place. He’s a busy person.

     Not only do people try and pray to him, but they dare tell him they were born in the wrong century. If he had even the seconds that he hangs on to send his souls through the zipline of birth, he would should them the endless chalkboard of mathematics he went through to bring us to life. To beget us a life that was very particular. That, in each interaction we make, was either our choice or his. That is, given the assumption he has the time to even make the choice for us. We sometimes silly ourselfs into thinking God makes the choices we do not like. Sadly, as explained in the miles and miles of equation, that is simply when our lives are not in our control. The output and our input just do not get coded correctly. Imagine all this math again, across his face, as he births more people each and every day. We’re all mentally checked out after a days of work; but he is still working. Even now, as babys are being pushed by the women who are being yelled, “Just a little more” are being given souls. Individual personalities that cannot be an exact copy of another one of the billions already born on Earth. God is a busy person.  Pressing on both his mind and hands, he shifts about. He calculates the exact moments of his desire. The desire for the ruse not to be given up. That’ when given time, we all can figure out how we fit in. We were given bodies that match our soul’s intention. We are sent from whatever this huge place is that processes our information. Last thing a broker like that would want is to duplicate the same persons’ intentions, looks, and personality.

     And, not only that, but God has to deal with the bullshit of lying human beings. Magic, Faith, Confidence—where did these words make it into his guidebook onto how to live a life? There was no book last time he heard, but this big honcho decides to make a book based on theories that not only directly misguides his legions, but contradicts his methods. Who ever said that roach that snuck into his den was evil? It was just another devious creature of the universe who lost his way.

     And now, you ask, why am I even daring enough to make these methods that which God makes humans? I think it is fair to say God is a busy person. Working tirelessly to find the best and perfect fit for everyone. And, out of everything that has happened in these x amount of years of humans existence, the last time he would want from us is sass.

          Being sold confirms you exist. So, enjoy the ride you were given for free.             

[bebaloca93]

I'm so close to getting to go! But my mom always has to put the last minute buts into things! :/ :(

[disneyconsumerreport]

How I feel right now. #doctorwho #amyponds #companion #nooneneedsme #semidepressed #notimportant? #crossedmymind #notthinking #ignorethenotportanthashtag

[xxblack-widowxx-blog]

All I want to do is have you text me. Talk to me like normal and not be distant. Actually answer back and not in like an hour. I just want to talk to you and not have one word messages back.. I just miss havin you to talk to and be friends with... You've been there for years and its like you disappeared and don't want me around... Idk I'm probably just over reacting.

[mapsey]

tonight is awful and not over.

today is just awful, actually.

and i really just want to cry and never do anything again. ever. ever.

i just want to curl into a ball, cry until i shake like a leaf and vomit.

i want to never see anyone again.

i want to never do anything again.

i want all of it to stop.

right here. right now.

stop!! stop. really, stop. i'm so sick. so tired. so weary. i'm so done.

done with you.

done with this game.

and done with this life.

i'm so done.

so done.