#selfship tag starts today and will only get worse

[shalomniscient]

Sev I bring you this in honor of Father Arlecchino coming out;

Arlecchino is rough, that's simply a fact. She has a slightly rough exterior, she's rough on the Fatui, and she's incredibly rough with you. Though that roughness only resides within the bedroom. It's common for Arlecchino to toss you around and force you into an assortment of positions that will surely have your body screaming at you in the morning. She's a woman that takes what she wants, and if she wants you a certain way, than by the Archons she is going to have you that way. She'll have you and force you to take her strap, fingers or tongue inside you as long as she wants, till your thighs are shaking uncontrollably around her and your raking your nails against her skin, hoarse voice barely begging through your pathetic whimpers and moans for at least a break. But Arlecchino won't give you one, because she take what she wants and what she wants is to have you pass out from the pleasure she's giving you.

GSGDHHSJSJSKSLBXBD SINS OMG I’M ???? YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZYY (/pos) i'm so horrendously down bad for this woman it's actually insane honestly........ [more nsft utc]

cw. mentions of pregnancy, breeding

i don't want kids. like, pregnancy scares the fuck outta me. but arle ?? somehow this woman manages to bypass that ick and it's truly INSANE the way i would willingly bear her children LIKE ????? in my selfship delusion land arle and i are married and after fontaine is saved i am going to jump her bones and ride her until she's shooting BLANKS frfr 😤😤😤 they call her father because it's her title, i call her father because she's fathering my children amen 🙏🙏🙏 arle can treat me as rough as she wants because i can take it 💪💪 i'd be sore as hell but i'm literally so insane about her i'd beg her to go again like a greedy fucking brat but good for both of us that's what she likes...... 😌😌😌

FLUFF TIME but arle is such a girl dad imo like she's this big scary harbinger but if our daughter says tea party time then it is tea party time 😤😤😤 any fatui agent within range is forced to participate but there's no way in hell they'll say no if they want to live LMAO alsooooo lyney lynette and freminet would be such good older siblings 🥺🥺🥺 just........ fontaine family w arle........

[self-shipyard]

"I Will (Pt. 1): The Bride Team" - A Self-Ship Wedding Fic

SYNOPSIS: The first part of a special, four-part fic in which the bridal team meets up and gets the blushing bride ready for the big day.

Word Count: 1478

CW: Pre-Wedding Fluff, Mild Swearing, Mild Tension

Tag List: @guthound, @danieladimitrescu, @puppyships, @ava-ships, @awesomedanganronpaconfessions, @sinners-call-me-baby, @reigenhusband, @that-autistic-team-skull-grunt, @noellojello, @somethingscarlet13, @spookymasonjar, @vanityloves, @valor-selfships

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4

"Turn your head," Sorbet instructed.

Lumaca looked up in the mirror at Sorbet as he held her curls in one hand and a brush in the other.

She had been studying herself in the mirror and thinking about her initial hesitation when he offered to help gussy her up for the big day. It wasn't that she didn't think he could do a good job; she knew he was an expert when it came to painting his and Gelato's nails. She had just worried about potentially bothering him with it.

Though, she was glad that he was so persistent in the end. After all, he did have the innate ability to make anything look lavish on a tight budget.

"Like this?" she asked, turning her head to the right.

"Yeah," he replied.

The brush's teeth glided through her hair, smoothing out any rough curls that were sticking out of her head. Each stroke smoothed it out more and more until he was able to hold all of her hair in one of his hands. Then, as gently as he could, he wrapped it up into a bun. He left two long strands on either side of her face.

He stepped back to study his work from afar, feeling rather proud of himself.

Then he noticed her shift in expression.

"You look nervous," he commented.

She looked up at him and gave him a little smile.

"I am a little," she admitted.

"What's wrong?" His head tilted slightly. "Today's a happy day."

"I am happy, Sorbet!" Her hand went to her chest. "I feel like my heart could explode right now; you know? It's racing like crazy."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I mean after today, I get to..." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I get to spend the rest of my life with Ghiaccio. It's all I've been wanting and I'll get that privilege today. I'm just... Feeling a little overwhelmed with love, I guess..."

Sorbet sighed quietly to himself, and he kneeled down to her eye level.

"Ghiaccio feels the same way," Sorbet mumbled. "You should've heard him. Every day since you said yes, he's been rambling to me and Gelato. Rambling about how long he's been waiting for this. How he wants everything to be perfect for you. How he loves you so much."

Her eyes went wide, even sparkling a little.

His eyes, in the meanwhile, drifted to the ceiling as he continued on.

"I can't say we've ever seen him happier, and it's because of you..."

Sorbet stopped and looked back down at her when he heard her sniffle. Her hazel eyes shone with tears and her lips carried a smile that could challenge the warmth of the sun.

He squinted and pointed a finger at her.

"No crying, Lumaca."

"I'm sorry," she smiled as she began to fan her eyes with her hands. "I'm trying not to, but-!"

"No crying," he cut her off before she could work herself up even more. "Save that for when you go to meet your groom at the altar."

He realized a little too late that those words only made her even more emotional. Now she was biting into the inside of her lip in a vain attempt to stop her tears from falling.

"Sorbet, that's making it worse!" she giggled, a sound which awakened his playful side. If she was going to be like this, he figured he'd have a little fun with it. Who knows? Maybe, it'll loosen her up a little.

"Not my fault..."

He leaned in close to her ear and whispered into it.

"... Mrs. Ghiaccio.~"

She pulled away from him with a squeal, holding her ear and letting her laugh fill the room.

"Sorbet, you jerk!"

He too started to chuckle, taking some joy in hearing his friend laugh.

Their laughter was interrupted by the sound of a firm knock at the door. After motioning for her to stay seated, Sorbet got up and made his way to the sound of the knocking.

He peeked through the window.

"It's Formaggio and Prosciutto," he called back to her.

Within a matter of seconds, the front door had been swung open and in walked Formaggio with Prosciutto right behind him. They were both dressed for the occasion, in formalwear similar to what Sorbet was currently wearing; white collared shirts with red vests and ties, long black pants, and polished black dress shoes.

"Hey, hey!" Formaggio called out. "What's going on bride gang?"

"Hey, Formaggio!" Lumaca smiled over her shoulder at him. "Nice to see you're already dressed."

Formaggio held up a hand to his chest and let out a fake gasp.

"Why I'm surprised at you, Space Cadet!" The nickname made her scrunch up her nose a little. "You say that like I was hoping to skimp out for the occasion."

"Thank God you didn't," Prosciutto mumbled behind him. "A lot of us would've been pretty pissed off if you hadn't come prepared."

"Hey now," Formaggio tilted his head to look back with a grin at the other man. "I thought you were supposed to be the father of the bride, not MY father!"

Prosciutto sighed at him before turning his attention to the Man of Honor and the bride. "Good afternoon Sorbet and Luma...."

Taking one look at her made him stop and stare.

"Good afternoon, Prosciutto." she smiled.

Prosciutto gave himself a quiet moment to take it all in.

He knew this day was coming ever since she and Ghiaccio had announced the engagement, but now as he stared at her, it dawned on him that she, someone he saw as a daughter, really was going to be getting married.

And that he was going to be the one to give her away.

"You look beautiful," he commented, trying not to let emotion show in his voice.

"He's right, I mean damn Sorbet!" Formaggio suddenly chimed in before she had time to thank Prosciutto for his kind words. "You did a great job. Lumaca's looking good enough to eat."

She smiled warmly at his reaction.

"Thank you!"

Lumaca suddenly noticed that Formaggio had a devious glint in his eyes. Deep down, she and the others knew that he was wanting to add on some sort of suggestion. However, just as he had opened his mouth again, a knock came to the door.

Sorbet was quick to answer.

"Oh, thank God," he mumbled, looking out the window. "It's Gelato."

The door opened and in walked Gelato, dressed in similar formalwear to the others and his face a little frazzled. He and Sorbet greeted each other with a quick kiss.

"Ahh," Formaggio called out to the newcomer. "So, the last bridesman finally decides to show up."

"Shut your mouth, cheese head," Gelato laughed. "It's not my fault traffic was bad."

"What, just like it is every other meeting day?" Formaggio chuckled, while Sorbet closed the door behind them. "Buddy, it's okay to say that you overslept or something."

With a roll of his eyes, Gelato's attention went to Lumaca and his face lit up upon seeing her.

"Oh!" He gave a little wolf whistle that made Lumaca act all bashful. He trotted up next to her and kneeled once he was in range. "Well, would you look at that! Now, who could this principessa be getting married to, huh?"

"A handsome cavaliere with blue curls!" she chirped.

"What a lucky bastard he is," he chuckled while he stood back up. "Speaking of which, the wedding's in about twenty-five minutes, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Sorbet went up next to Gelato, his hand resting on the small of his back. "We were just about to leave."

Though her face was lit up with excitement, Lumaca's eyes gained a hint of anxiety.

"It's..." she took a deep breath. "It's time already?"

"Just about," Prosciutto commented, looking down at his watch. "Sorbet's right; we should be heading out since it'll take fifteen minutes for us to get there. Let the two of them help you up."

Sorbet and Gelato both held out a hand to Lumaca, who took hold of them both and rose from her seat. She was careful not to catch herself on her dress or the chair as she stood up to meet them.

"There we go!" Gelato chirped. "Now let's go! We don't want to keep the groom waiting, do we?"

Lumaca looked over at herself one last time in the mirror, and it dawned on her that a bride was staring right back at her. In that moment, she was looking into the eyes of someone who was on her way to marrying the love of her life. The thought alone started to make her head spin.

Masking these feelings for the time being, she turned to look at Gelato with a smile.

"No, I don't think we do!"

[noobselfship]

Under an Endless Sky

Tagging @sassenach-on-the-rocks​ and @virus-selfship​ CW: Murder, and Abuse mention, but not explicit in the fic. Fic under the cut!

Summary: In order to help the BAU understand serial killers and culs better, Amanda Kenway agrees to an interview that lasts several hours over three days. 

INT: Okay. Tape’s rolling. Please state your name for the record. 

SUBJ: Amanda May Hornigold. Or Kenway. 

INT: Which do you prefer?

SUBJ: Kenway. 

INT: Alright. Your age, please.

SUBJ: 35 years old. 

INT: And were you coerced into coming here today. 

SUBJ: (Short pause) No, I was not. 

INT: Okay, Miss Kenway, you have the right to have an attorney present. 

SUBJ: I wave it, I don’t need one. 

INT: Okay. Now we want to discuss with you your past, anything that could prove beneficial to future investigations. Can you start by describing your childhood? 

SUBJ: Yes, ma’am. I was born in the Carribean January 10th, 1974 to a ship’s captain and an his lover. I was adopted at 2 and moved to London, England after both of my parents were killed at sea. 

INT: And you took the name Kenway because of this? 

SUBJ: Yes. I was too young to understand that I wasn’t blood related to the family. The man who adopted me was a close family friend with a daughter. I guess the case worker thought that that would be the best place for me. As did the judge. The man later remarried and had my little brother, Haytham, when I was 3. (short pause) We lived comfortably. We had a big house, a huge yard, we were home-schooled. I guess you could say my adoptive family had money. We lived in Queen Anne’s Square the majority of our childhood. But then, when I was 13, everything changed. 

INT: What changed? 

SUBJ: (long pause, long, deep exhale of air) It was two days before my brother’s tenth birthday. We had gone out to a play that evening, and Haytham had been looking forward to a trip to White’s. It’s a chocolate house close to our home. He’d been talking about going there for ages, it felt like. We didn’t end up going that night, and I had been having a difficult time sleeping because of nightmares and early phases of insomnia. There was a sound, like doors being broken, and then shouting and screaming. (long pause, shaky breaths) I don’t remember much after that. I remember I man coming into my room, a knife in his hand, I remember I searing pain in my side, but then it was just black. I woke up in a hospital bed with burns up and down my body, smoke in my lungs, and two stab wounds in my side. I had been in a coma for two weeks. My adopted father had died, by older sister kidnapped, and Haytham’s mother had signed over guardianship of him and myself over to a man named Reginald Birch. 

INT: What can you tell me about him? 

SUBJ: He’s wanted to propose to my sister, Jenny, before the attack. He had Dad’s blessing to do it, even. He worked for Dad, managing properties, that sort of thing. He had Dad’s ear on a lot of things, except for live before Queen Anne’s Square. One thing I haven’t mentioned is that my brother and I have been trained to fight since we could hold a knife and aim a gun. 

INT: Why? 

SUBJ: We were never told. We were just told that we would be given a creed to follow once we were old enough, and that we had to keep sharp in case something happened. I guess we were, after the attack. We practiced for hours, daily, and I joined the Templar Order as a fully fledged Knight at 17. 

INT: Templar Order? Like from the First Crusade? 

SUBJ: Or even farther back, if you believe any history book. We’d been formed to fight in the Crusades, yes, but we extended far past that. We were, and still are, looking for artifacts, in places that I can’t tell because it’s such a closely guarded secret. We have a hand in nearly every pot. 

INT: Okay. please continue. 

SUBJ: I still remember my first assassination. I was 16, barely old enough to drive, and Reginald sent me to deal with someone who had betrayed our Order. We lived in France at the time, in a small Chateau near Troyes. I traveled to Moscow, tracked the traitor and killed him. If memory serves, his body was found in his bed, having been strangled, a coin mark under his chin. I killed several more times in the years leading up to 1995. I had been sent to Boston to work with a man only called Foyet. My orders where to track down and kill a group of traitors that had fled there. Those were my orders, the only people we were to kill where those men. 

INT: Why? 

SUBJ: The Templars hate traitors. They feel as though they have a right to your life once you take the oath. If you break it, for any reason, your life is forfeit. But, as I said, we were only supposed to kill the traitors. We weren’t supposed to kill innocents. I knew the BAU was there, I knew what would happen should we get caught. But I don’t think even Reginald suspected what was going to happen. That Foyet would turn rabid. That he would kill innocents. I had started having doubts around ‘98. He was undercover as a substitute teacher, and I was a local college kid staying with her Uncle. I was going by May Hornigold, and it was around that time I met my first boyfriend. 

INT: Will you tell me about him? 

SUBJ: His name was John Harrison, and while he was older than me, he had been a close friend of Reginald’s. I guess you could say I trusted him because of that. (short pause) Once we began dating, he started to get violent. He would do things, horrible things to me. (SUBJ’S voice gets shaky) He told me it was because I deserved it, and that because of all the death I caused I deserved a fate worse. I thought I did. I believed him. And, when I became pregnant in 2000, it got worse. I had a girl in late August. It was a hard birth, traumatic in more ways than one. She was a preemie. I named her Theodosia, because I loved the name so much. She died three weeks later due to SIDS. Her body wasn’t cold before the abuse started again. (sounds of soft sobs, hidden under gasps) I ran when I turned 24. I went back to Troyes. I distanced myself from the Reaper, from Boston. My next kill was Harrison when I was 25. I went to jail for that one, but the Judge ruled self defense and I really only did time afterwards because I had illegal drugs on my person. 

INT: Why did you return to America? 

SUBJ: I had earned my inheritance from my biological father and mother, and wanted to get away from Troyes. I put myself through school, started my own business, but I was still a hitman for the Order. They needed someone dead, I did it. I got good at hacking, making my trails disappear. 

INT: When did you meet SSA Hotchner. 

SUBJ: Two years ago, around August 10th. He was taking his son somewhere and I stopped him to  see if I could have them model for me at a nearby park. I gave him my card afterwards and we’ve been speaking since. He is the one who asked me to do this. 

INT: Okay, and I believe that wil be all for today,  Miss Kenway, thank you. 

SUBJ: Anything I can do to help, I can and will do. 

[End of Transcript]