#selfishly hoping that i could get something done

[withahappyrefrain]

for the lil prompt list: thinking of our beloved Bob and fixing the others clothing when something is a little bit off (particularly when it’s you doing it to him when he’s in uniform for one reason or another) he’d be so endeared by you :(

Stop he would!!! 😭😭😭

You couldn't have been prouder of Bob. After the mission at Top Gun, he and several others in the squad were being rewarded with a medal of honor.

It meant getting to support your boyfriend. As well as (selfishly) seeing him in uniform.

Bob liked to keep his work and personal life strictly separated. Coming home in his flight suit was a rarity. It was why he had yet to introduce you to his coworkers turned friends.

That and because selfishly, he didn't want to share you.

But today, your own desires triumphed over Bob's. Dressed in his Navy whites, chest adorned by the medals he had already received from previous deployments.

He always looked handsome, like a movie star from the Golden Age. But something about his slicked back hair, face stoic as he stood proud and tall, had you unable to focus on anything else besides Bob.

Once the ceremony ended and the honorees were free to mingle with loved ones, you became laser focused on getting to your boyfriend.

Due to the crowd of what had to be his coworkers, Bob wasn't able to see you waving as you walked towards him.

Your voice would just have to do.

"Bobby!"

Bob looked over Jake's shoulder to see you, an absolute vision in your sun dress, waving excitedly at him.

Ignoring the confused remarks from his colleagues, Bob practically pushed Jake aside, all but running over to you.

Seeing him for the first time in eight weeks had your self control thrown out the window. You threw your arms around his neck, nearly knocking over his hat as your lips pressed against his.

The medals were pressing against your skin but quite frankly, you couldn't find it in yourself to care. You were far too busy reveling in his kiss; his soft lips that were becoming reacquainted with yours, his large palms steadying your body since you all but threw yourself onto him, the delightful scent of sage flooding your nostrils once more.

Bob registered the gawking his coworkers were doing, but he didn't care. Eight weeks was a long time, particularly when he wasn't sure if he would come back from this mission.

He could only hope that you didn't feel the small ring-sized box that was in his pocket.

After breaking apart for much needed air, you beamed as you took him in; blue eyes shining brighter than the sun, his hat now sitting at an angle on his head, pink lips formed into a smile that could best be described as lovesick.

God you loved him.

"I'm so proud of you Bobby," you beamed, your fingers gently adjusting his hat, "and I'm glad others are recognizing how incredible you are."

Bob was at a loss for words, enamored by the way you mindlessly fixed his uniform as you sung his praises. It was an action you had always done, something you didn't even think about. In fact, it was that endearing gesture that caused you to meet Bob. And despite dating for such a long time, it made Bob's heart flutter every time.

You showed your love for him so effortlessly, pouring it into every action, no matter how small.

"Bobby?" You giggled, "You good?"

"Yeah," he chuckled, warmth flooding his body, "Just in love with you, that's all."

He made you want to kick your feet like a school girl. Instead, you settled for placing your hands on his upper back and pressing another loving kiss to his lips.

"Why don't we go meet your squad? I can hear their questions," you chuckled, knowing the team was currently arguing over how long you and Bob had been together.

Bob looked over, wincing at the sight of his coworkers arguing over an apparent bet about him. His grip on your waist tightened.

"Maybe not just yet. Don't want your first impression to be Bradley and Hangman arguing."

You simply smiled, fingers toying with one of his many medals, "That's fine."

Leaning in, your breath was hot on his ear, "Gives me more time to admire you in this uniform."

Maybe they would skip the meeting altogether and head straight home.

[ashwhowrites]

Hey, if you hadn't already done something like this, I was wondering if you'll write Eddie x Popular!Henderson!R, where they're sneaking around behind Dustin's back.... 1. Because Dustin looks up to him and they're friends and 2. She's not ready to let everyone know just yet (wanting to live in ignorant bliss just a little while longer before she falls under scrutiny for falling for "the freak").

And so, when one of her friends decides to hook her up on a date, she can't exactly refuse, so she goes along with it to shut her up, without letting Eddie know, of course. And during a game of dnd, Dustin let's it slip where you are for the night, unknowingly sending Eddie into a spiral, thinking she's cheating and that's why she wants to keep them a secret and after having an internal battle, he cuts the campaign short, surprising everyone, and he crashes her date, with hellfire in toe, demanding answers. And then everyone finds out and she explains blah blah and they live happily ever after. Sorry, this was long xx

This was so fun! I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Dustin's friend

When Dustin said he found a new friend, that was yet again years older than him, Y/N wasn't too pleased. First, it was Steve, and now a guy named Eddie. But when Y/N met Eddie for the first time, she couldn't care less about the age gap between him and her brother, all that mattered was that he was around her age and single.

Eddie still wasn't sure how he managed to get Dustin's hot popular sister to go out with him. Whatever he did, he thanked god for it because having Y/N on his lap with her tongue down his throat was his heaven.

"Missed you so much," Y/N whined, her hips moving against Eddie's as she yanked off his shirt.

"Fuck, I missed you too." Eddie moaned as Y/N sucked down his chest. She left her marks to travel south until she was just above his boxers.

"MOM WANTS YOU," Dustin screamed as he pounded on Y/N's locked door.

"Damn it," Eddie sighed and hung his head.

"BE RIGHT THERE," Y/N screamed back, she sighed and stood up. She handed Eddie his shirt with a sad smile. "Sorry, Eds."

"Fuckers are giving me blue balls. Are you sure we can't tell him? Maybe he'd stop interrupting as much." Eddie glared towards the door. He stood up and threw on his jeans.

"You know I'm not ready for all of that yet." Y/N sighed.

"Fine, I'll go home and finish the old-fashioned way." Eddie joked, smirking as he walked backward to her window, his eyes on her.

"Maybe I'll come over and join you, later." She winked. She kissed Eddie goodbye and waited for him to leave. Then she went to see what her mom wanted.

~~~

Y/N knew hiding her relationship with Eddie was hard and tiring. And she felt guilty every time she had to act like Eddie wasn't everything to her. But she was scared. She was scared to take away Dustin's friend, worried she overstepped. She was terrified it would ruin their friendship because of the bro code. And selfishly, she was scared of the damage it would do to her social life.

"I'm telling you, he has been begging me for a date with you. You are single and have no reason to say no." Chrissy whined.

"My reason to say no is that I don't want to," Y/N said, rolling her eyes as she slammed her locker shut.

She whined when Chrissy followed.

"Like you have anything going on tomorrow night, anyway?" Chrissy argued, her eyes taunting.

Y/N technically had nothing going on tomorrow, Dustin and Eddie had hellfire so both boys were busy.

"Stop thinking of an excuse and just go. Then if you hate it, I will never set you up again." Chrissy promised.

"Deal," Now Y/N could get Chrissy off her back.

~~~

"We are kicking ass today! I wish Y/N were here to see it." Dustin cheered. Y/N had spent more time watching Hellfire since she had to pick Dustin up anyway.

"Why isn't she?" Eddie asked, he prayed it sounded casual. He read ahead on his notes to look like he didn't care too much.

"On a date." Dustin shrugged, playing his next move. No one had the table had any idea that sentence sent Eddie into a panic. Sweat on his forehead as his leg shook beneath the table.

His girlfriend was on a date, with another guy.

It all made sense, she wanted him to be a secret because she was seeing someone. Dustin knew about the guy, and he couldn't know about Eddie. Because then her secret would be exposed. Like it just was.

"Where?" Eddie snapped, his angry tone had the table looking at him in seconds.

"Enzo's," Dustin said confused.

"Get in the van," Eddie snapped as he grabbed his keys.

~

The rest of hellfire sat confused as Eddie raced to the restaurant. He was silent but gripped the wheel until his knuckles were white. The boys followed as Eddie stormed out of the van and into the restaurant.

Eddie felt a wave of heartache flood in his chest when he saw her with him with his own eyes. She looked beautiful as she talked about something he couldn't hear.

"Why are we here? Why do you care about my sister?" Dustin asked, but Eddie already was moving.

His heavy boots hit the floor hard, and his hand slammed on the table. The couple jumped and fear showed in Y/N's eyes when Eddie leaned down to her level.

Face to face, Eddie's hard breathing smacked Y/N's face. She twiddled her thumbs nervously as she saw hellfire behind him. Her brother watching with confusion.

"Eddie, what are you doing?" She said through clenched teeth, trying to keep the conversation between them.

"Demanding why the fuck my girlfriend is on a date with another guy." Eddie snapped, his eyes dark as he glared at her. She knew he had every right to be mad, but she didn't want a scene.

She stood up, and Eddie straightened up. His eyes haven't left her, not even glancing at the stranger across from her.

"Can I please explain later? In private." She whispered, her eyes looking over Eddie's shoulder as the boys watched.

"No, I'm tired of this private shit. Explain right here, right now. Or we are done." Eddie threatened. He didn't want to break up, he wished on every star above him there was a way to make this relationship work.

"Eddie please." She whispered, her watery eyes pleading for him to back off until they could talk. "Not right now in front of everyone." Eddie tried to ignore her tears, not letting himself get sucked into her guilt trap.

"Fine, forget it. I'll see you around, Henderson." Eddie said coldly as he nodded and backed off. Y/N felt frozen in her spot as Eddie went out the door.

"Y/N?" Dustin spoke up, his hand reaching towards her.

In seconds she was running out the door.

"What is going on?" the random date asked.

"Shh man," Mike said, sliding into the booth next to him. He pointed out the window, a clear view of the couple. The boys followed, all sitting in the big booth as they stared out the window.

~

"I'm sorry! I got scared but please." Y/N cried as she tugged on Eddie's arm.

"Scared because you got caught. I can't believe you could do this to me. What about all that love bullshit? This is what you do when you love someone?" Eddie argued, hot tears in his eyes.

"I do love you! Nothing between us is bullshit. Chrissy was on my back for weeks about going on a date with this guy! I never agreed until she said If I went on it, she'd never do it again! I promise you I was just trying to get her off my back. I was going to tell her I hated it and finally have peace of just being with you."

"You know what else brings peace? Finally admitting to other people that you are in love with me," Eddie said sadly, "I'm tired of being your secret. I can't keep doing it."

Y/N sobbed as she reached forward and held his face in her hands.

"I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'll tell Dustin and everyone. Please just give me a chance to make this up to you." Y/N begged, Eddie sniffled as he looked into her eyes.

"I love you too," he smiled, and Y/N felt relief in her bones. "You took a chance on me, so I'll take the chance on you."

Y/N smiled and leaned forward, Eddie met her halfway and smashed his lips on hers. His hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer.

~

"Oh my god!" The boys all said at once, the random date was long gone.

"Eddie and my sister?"

"Dude! Eddie is banging your sister!" Mike teased

"Is he touching her ass?" Lucas gasped as he moved closer to the window

"Oh, that is so much tongue." Gareth chuckled.

"Our boy is making out with a popular girl!" Jeff cheered, high fives all around the table, except for Dustin who sat in a state of shock.

~

"YOU ARE SCREWING MY SISTER?"

Eddie and Y/N jumped as Dustin screamed.

"DUSTIN!" Y/N screamed as Dustin ran straight into Eddie and took him to the ground.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger

[pink-princess-pussy-pop]

Welcome Home - King Ben x Reader Smut!

Warnings: smut, ben cusses :)

Request: Hi! Could i request a king ben smut where he has like a tough meeting about some other country and goes into his office where the reader is waiting for him all sweetly and he just bends her over his desk and gets his frustrations out?

(The way he smiles makes my insides CHURN.)

Everything was planned to a T. After being gone for two weeks, visiting King Charming and Queen Cinderella, Ben was finally returning.

Chad had unfortunately, but not surprisingly, done a stupid business deal with some pirates off the coast of Auradon. Since he was technically in Auradon waters, Ben was the one who had to handle it. After sorting out the issues with the pirates, he’d gone to King Charming’s castle to discuss the matter further, leaving you to govern Auradon.

Not that you minded, you just missed your husband. A great deal. So his arrival needed to be perfect.

His plane would arrive the next morning and so you had taken the initiative to have everything prepared. You’d asked the staff to prepare his favorite meals, planned a date for the next evening, and as your own added touch, we’re now setting the biggest vase of blue roses on his desk.

You opened your phone, looking at the last text he’d sent you.

It was from this morning,

See you soon, my love.

You simply couldn’t wait.

Your days were lonely without him, as were the nights. And selfishly, you’d been missing something else. These past two weeks was the longest you and Ben had ever been apart and your body was definitely feeling the repercussions.

You really missed Ben.

ALL of Ben.

As you turned around, the door to his office opened. Your head looked backwards and your heart jumped at the sight of your husband. His bag fell to the floor at the sight of you.

You froze in place, leaning back on his desk.

“Wha- why are you back?”

He smiles.

“Wanted to surprise you. Didn’t think you’d be in my office, sweetheart.” He walks closer to you. “Are you not happy to see me?” His brow arches.

“No, I am I’m just confused-“ Your words are cut off by a kiss. Ben lifts you up sit on his desk, stepping between your thighs. As much as you want to give in, you push against his chest. “Wait, Ben… how was the meeting?”

His eyes roll.

"Horrible. Chad's dad is an asshole. Chad is an asshole. The pirates were assholes. Now, I'm finally home and I'd really, really like to fuck my wife. Is that okay with you?" His eyes flicker down to your lips then back up to your eyes.

"Uh... yeah sure. That's cool."

"Great." His hand wraps around your head, pulling you into him again, lips meeting yours. Your hands find his face, thumbs sliding over his cheeks and pull him closer.

His fingers trail down your body and then grab your waist.

"Ben..." He keeps kissing you. "Do you maybe wanna..." Another. "Go back to our room?" His fingers play with the hem of your blue dress.

His voice comes out hoarse and deep.

"No, I think we are gonna stay right here."

Ben's lips attached to your neck, fingers threading up into your hair to tilt your head back.

The other hand begins pushing your skirt up higher and higher. Your breathing turns uneven as your eyes dart around, hoping no one is going to walk in on your escapades.

"Ben, are you sure..." He pulls away harshly, glaring at you.

"Do I need to bend you over my desk, Y/N?" You suck in a breath as a deep blush crosses your cheeks. His eyebrows raise because of course he notices and then his eyes roll. "Oh for fucks sake."

And then before you can even blink, Ben has you bent over his desk with your skirt over your hips.

You whine as his hips roll into yours, fingers curling over the edge of his desk. Your head turns, ready to glare at him when he rips your underwear clean off.

Your eyes widen in surprise, stammering out his name but go silent when you feel him podding at your entrance.

His voice is hushed next to your ear, sending goosebumps all over your body.

"A loss for words, honey?" His fingers tighten on your hips as he pushes into you. Your knuckles turn white as your grip on the table tightens as well. He gives you no time to adjust to him and begins ramming into you. You shove your face into your arm, biting the flesh to contain your lewd sounds. "Fuckin' hell. Missed you so much."

One of Ben's hands leaves your side to press down on your back and you arch in response. Though you cannot see him, Ben grins. He loves your body's response to his. He can never get enough.

His jaw sets as he nears his orgasm, he'd missed you so much that he could barely hold it in. The sounds of his groans fill the office, along with the slapping of hips and the wetness of your core.

Desperate to make you come before him, his fingers dip between your conjoined hips to circle your clit. You jolt in response, an especially loud moan escaping your throat, boosting Ben's already inflated ego even more.

Before either of you know it, your pelvic muscles squeezing uncontrollably around him and his body collapses onto yours, absolutely spent. The two of you are silent while you come down from your highs and then Ben places soft kisses across your shoulders.

"Welcome home, my king." He groans as he feels himself harden inside of you.

"Oh, honey..." He pulls back, ready for round two. "Welcome home indeed."

Not sure if this is what you had in mind but there ya go. Hope you enjoy:)

[fictionismyreality3]

Hi first off just wanted to say I absolutely love your work! But please remember to take care of yourself and have plenty of water and Food and please remember to take breaks 🫶

Anyways I was wondering if I could req a fic where Jason finds out his s/o is an Ex-Criminal who's trying really hard not to fall back into old habits but is struggling because these guys keep harrasing them to become a criminal again

Mm just gonna take this :D -🎧

Better off Before You

Jason Todd x Reader

Tags: boyfriend!jason todd, ex-criminal!reader, established relationship, kinda controlling!jason todd idk, angst but it gets resolved at the end

Warnings: romance and everything that comes with it, violence, crime, drugs, weapons like knives and guns, arson, sexual assault 🤨

Notes: I gagged writing this 😩 sorry to all the Jefferey’s out there I just think Jeff is a creepy name. Kinda put a spin on the req hope that’s okay ☺️

34 stitches, 18 hours, and 1 bullet.

That’s what you’d scarified to get the life you had now. You’d done your time, and spent the hours necessary to detach yourself from your previous life and associates.

You had a lot to be grateful for and you knew that. It wasn’t like you were waking up everyday selfishly forgetting where you came from. That seemed impossible with the way the bullet was still lodged under the skin of your hip. But you were happy. You had a good life now and you were happy.

When you met Jay, you used to go by a different name, and when you thought about it, you were really a different person. But he pushed you. He wasn’t like those other self righteous hero’s you so often found yourself running from. He told it like it was, and he didn’t care if he hurt your feelings when he spoke. And back then, that’s something you needed desperately.

“You look like shit.”

Rolling your eyes, you wiped your lips, spitting the blood that had pooled in your mouth onto the gum covered pavement.

“You’re not exactly looking your best either, Red.” You drawled, eying the tall form of Jason Todd as he stalked down the alley towards you. “Yeah, well, it’s been one of those days.” He shrugged.

“Cortez?” Jason threw out there as he tucked his pistols away and got ready for a fist fight.

“No, Romero this time. You know what the buyers are like.”

Rain fell around you as you struck Jason in the stomach, his body expertly maneuvering to the side so he could grab your leg when you tried to throw a kick at him. Soon you were on your back, hitting at the inside of his elbow to push him off you. A well timed bite to shoulder and kick in the nuts let you escape.

That was 2 years ago.

Some days you almost wished you’d lost that fight, it would have made getting out from under your bosses thumb a lot easier had you been thrown in jail. You ended up having to do it the hard way. First breaking things off with Cortez, he was a squealer, especially when you pulled a few fingernails to reinforce he wouldn’t come after you.

Romero was harder. The man had a good few hundred men and women working for him. He practically ran the entire drug scene on the east end of Gotham. You used to be one of his best. It was a slightly demeaning work, being the person whose sole job was to ensure rich, high society people got their pill fix for the week, but it payed well. The only way you managed to get out was by knocking off his men one by one till you got to the top.

To him.

But Jay helped you, and you did it, even if it did leaving you with a permanent reminder in the flesh of your hip. There was no immediate way for Romero build back his little empire, and you allowed yourself to relax over the years, even getting to the point where Jason and you would run missions for Bruce.

Which is why this had to be a one time thing.

“Eh, c’mon pretty. Let’s not keep the boss waiting.”

How you found yourself back on the radar of the man you were trying so hard to distance yourself from seemed to be a sick joke from the universe. All it took was one wrong decision and you’d slipped right back into your old life like you’d never left. It wasn’t that you wanted to, but at this point, you didn’t have a choice.

You were sloppy. Normally you made sure to never take any jobs related to the underground drug rings so as to avoid spotted. But you didn’t do your research, and one bust got you noticed by one of Romero’s men who got away. That was all it took for him to go ratting back to his boss, who now held a massive grudge against you for how long it took him to regain power.

You fought hard when they found you again. The skin of your attackers still sat underneath your fingernails.

But you weren’t a super, you didn’t have powers or years of extreme training like Jay. You were just a girl who grew up on the wrong side of town, and chloroform wasn’t exactly easily avoided.

Scanning your surroundings, you tried to memorize the route of winding hallways you were being dragged through. The smell of gasoline and booze hung in the air, making your nose scrunch in disgust. Being pushed through a set of heavy metal doors, you found yourself face to face with the beady eyes of Jefferey Romero.

“You know, I’ve thought a lot about what I would say,” he began, standing up from the crusty folding chair he was sitting in. “When I saw you again.” Two men came and held your arms behind your back, their grip tight despite your struggling. “But all I can think about is how pathetic you look.”

One grubby hand reached up to clutch your chin, his fingers digging into your skin while he surveyed your face. The other reached down and squeezed at your ass.

“Fuck you.” You spat.

Driving your knee up, you kicked him as hard as you could in the dick, relishing the whiny noise of pain he made as he fell to his knees. Deciding to use the opportunity, you spat on him, but by then more of his men came to hold you still.

“You’re just as feisty as I remember too.” He coughed and brushed himself off. Getting back up, with a slight limp he came to stand in front of you. “You cost me a lot of money, you know.” Romero licked his lips. “It took me years to get it back.” He thread his fingers through your hair, yanking your head harshly to the side. “That’s why you’re gonna do me a little favour, bitch.”

You scoffed, wanting nothing more than to wrap your hands around his neck and choke him to death. “I’m not doing jack shit for you.” Romero let out a sneering laugh.

“Oh, but you will. Because I have this.”

As he held out his hand, your eyes darted down to the little enamel pin resting in his palm.

Your tongue was heavy in your mouth.

“What do you need?”

Jason wasn’t a great boyfriend when it came to his protectiveness. Knowing the life you’d came from, and how you two literally met when you were running from the cops, he was constantly worried about keeping you safe. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you, he just wanted you to have the life you deserved.

Because he knew you deserved so much.

Fiddling with the string of his hoodie, he tried to stay focused on whatever random ass tv show was on. Pressing the material to his nose, he took a deep breath. Your perfume filled his lungs and he felt dizzy and relieved at the same time. It had only been a few hours since you left to go get some groceries, but the time away was killing him.

Clingy was a word he liked to pretend didn’t exist, but with the way you’d been acting for the last few weeks, he was getting more and more reluctant to let you out of his sight. Bruises that you’d brush off as you being clumsy, scrapes lining your knees, even the way your eyes were seemingly darting around to look for a threat that wasn’t there. All of it was beginning to leave a sour taste in Jason’s mouth.

Normally, he would never do anything to invade your privacy, but the nagging feeling in the back of his head wouldn’t let him drop it. Rustling through drawer after drawer, Jason searched from the objects that would confirm his suspicions. Cursing under his breath, he mumbled a few prayers that this wasn’t what he thought it was as he moved to your half of the closet.

Pushing the clothes to the side, his eyes got stuck on the red dress he’d bought you, and he had to clench his fists from punching the wall when he saw what was lying in the shoebox behind it.

Your knives.

The same knives he’d taken from you when you first started to change the way you were living. The same knives he’d hidden from you to help you transition. The same knives that were sitting there, clearly having been recently polish, laughing at him as they glinted in the light. The sound of the front door ripped him from his stupor.

“Hey, Jay. I got those chips you like-” Your words died on your tongue as you came face to face with a very angry Jason Todd, standing in the living room, holding a reminder of your past.

“What the fuck is this, huh?” He ground out, holding knives out with a shaking hand. “I promise, it’s not what it looks like.” You began quickly. Letting out a huff of tightly contained anger, Jason stormed up to you, grabbing you by the wrists and sending your shopping bags to the floor.

“Not what it looks like?” He scoffed. “No, I-”

“Because to me, it sure fucking looks like you’re working again.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and you stared up into the now swirling blue-green eyes of the one man who never left. “You don’t understand.” You tried to plead. Throwing the knives to the floor, Jason backed you up against the front door, his hands caging you against the wood. “I don’t understand?” He hissed. “I risked my ass when I asked Bruce to cover your bail.”

The pressure of your rapidly beating heart was barely being held in by your ribcage. “Jay, you can’t understand.”

Jason swore he felt a tooth crack with how hard he was clenching his jaw. There hadn’t been a lot of instances where he’d felt truly hurt in his life, not before you. He always kept himself too closed off for that. But now? Now the small sliver of worth you had given him felt like it was being doused in salt and vodka.

“Then make me understand, baby.” Jay pleaded. “I can’t let you do this to yourself.” He hated the way his voice cracked.

All at once you were overcome with the urge to tell him everything, to fall into his arms and cry to him about how Romero had found where your sister went to university, and how you might not have talked to her in years but you still couldn’t let her die.

But your mouth didn’t open.

And Jason could only drop his hands to his sides and take a step back from you.

“Where the fuck having you been goin’ for the last 3 weeks?” He said disbelieving. “I don’t even know who you are anymore!” Wiping the tear you didn’t realize was forming, took a deep breath and steeled yourself.

“I’ll tell you when it’s over.”

All his years of experience, the instincts and reaction times he’d had trained into him, seemed to vanish as he watched you turn on your heel and leave. Standing frozen for a moment, Jason stared at the handle of the door, as if his gaze would somehow cause it to turn and you to come back.

“Fuck.” He snarled, whipping around to leave a fist sized hole in the wall.

One more job.

One more job and then this would all be over.

That’s what you kept telling yourself. The words got repeated over and over again in your mind as you stepped out into the streets of Gotham and began walking towards where you were stashing your things. The words echoed into the foggy air as you mumbled to yourself, changing into your district clothes and heading to the target Romero sent you.

They acted as a sort of prayer to who ever was listening. A plea, for all of this mess to somehow how straighten itself out, and for you to be forgiven as you hurled the bottle of alcohol and flames at the cargo truck you’d been ordered to destroy.

The fire danced across the surface of the truck until the whole thing burst into a ball of heat. You don’t know what was in it or why Romero wanted it gone, and you didn’t ask. You didn’t want to know. All you felt like doing was crumbling into the pavement and disappearing into one of the cities many potholes so you never had to show your face again.

It was nearly impossible for Jason to keep from destroying the apartment. Every item of furniture you’d picked out together sat like a reminder. He’d been the one to get you off the streets. He’d been the one to show you that there were people who cared about more than their next hit or how to get money. He’d been the one to help you get free.

And now he had failed you.

Jason sat on the couch, slumped forward with his head in his hands. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Really, everything was wrong, but something about the way you left felt odd. There was this look in your eye, the same one he saw the first time you’d met when he cornered you after the police slacked off at their jobs. A look of fear.

Not towards him. He could still remember it plain as day. It was more a look of dread, like you were worried about the consequences of getting caught and not the scary guy in the red mask who caught you. Like you were dreading someone finding out. Just thinking about it made his stomach churn. Although he was absolutely livid, he couldn’t stand seeing you in fear because he loved you.

He loved you.

“What the fuck am I doin’ just sitting here?”

When you got back to the seedy building near the docks, you were let in instantly by two of Romero’s men. The winding hallways of his new building had reluctantly become a familiar sight after spending the last 3 weeks running errands for him. But now your debt was paid, and you could get to tell Jay everything.

The same set of heavy metal doors that seemed to unlock a world you tried so desperately to forget opened once more, and you were once again standing in front of the man who used you. Putting out his cigarette, Jeffery Romero sauntered his way over to you.

“It’s done. The truck’s gone.” You spoke first. “I did my half of the bargain, so don’t you dare touch my sister.” With a thoughtful look that was clearly exaggerated, he looked you over, walking a circle around you. “I’ll admit, you weren’t as useless as I remembered.” The beady-eyed man snickered. Your hands were clenching, fingernails digging into your palms. “I might even take you back to work for me.”

“I’d never fucking work for you.”

His eyes narrowed, a dark smile curling across his lips. “That’s a shame,” He said nonchalantly. “Because you know too much now to be kept alive.”

As if waiting for their cue, the men who’d been leaning against the walls or playing poker and pretending not to listen pounced on you. Hands were tugging you in every which way, some tearing at your clothes as they shoved you to your knees. With a surge of adrenaline, you went down kicking and screaming, biting and pushing back against anyone who touched you. All the while Romero sat and watched, lighting another cigarette.

Glass shattered as the windows got kicked in. People were screaming. A gun went off. Again. And then again. And slowly, working through the shock, your mind caught up to process the image of Jason blowing the heads off of everyone around you, their brains splattering onto the walls and floor.

Letting out a practically feral noise, you lunged at Romero, shoving him to the ground and pounding your fists down into his face over and over again. Your vision was blurry, partly from your tears and partly from the blood that was spraying onto your face every time you brought your hand down. But you couldn’t stop. You busted his lip for your sister. You shattered his nose for the peace you’d fought for.

And you broke his jaw just for you.

Two strong arms were tugging you off the now lifeless body, and your face was pressed into a broad chest. Taking the first breath you’d been able to in 3 weeks, you got a lungful of Jason and you sobbed like a little baby. The hiss of his mask coming off barely registered in your mind.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, hey you’re- fuck, princess it’s okay.” He cooed and ran his gloved fingers through your hair. “It’s over. It’s over.”

“I should have-” You tried to speak but all that came out was a strangled gasping noise. Jason was wiping the blood off your face, pressing kisses to your forehead, your cheeks, your nose. “I should have told you.” You blubbered, clutching at the leather of his jacket. He didn’t even know what you were talking about, or how you got dragged into all this mess, but right now, he didn’t care. “M’not going anywhere, sweetheart. You’re stuck with me.”

“I’m always gonna stay.”

[twistedminutia]

Diasomnia and Selfishness vs Selflessness

Rereading some of Book 7, and it occurs to me how much Lilia, Mallues, and Silver share in their reasons behind their actions, or how they construe their actions as selfless as opposed to selfish.

We’ll start with Lilia, who kicks this whole thing off. Lilia’s initial action is him leaving. First, analyzing the action, it’s extremely abrupt. Lilia gives no prelude, minimal explanation, and doesn’t even seem to acknowledge that it’s sad. He gives no time for anyone to prepare and, in a matter of days, he’s entirely ready to depart his family, possibly for good.

Now, from the perspective of everyone else in Diasomnia, this is devastating, especially for Malleus and Silver who both were at least partially raised by Lilia. His actions are selfish bordering on callous. But for Lilia? These actions are selfless. Lilia isn’t trying to abandon them. He’s trying to spare them. To Lilia, having the people he cares for watch him wither away and die, having to be reliant on them, having to be a burden- he’s trying to spare them that. He doesn’t even want to show sadness, since that might make things harder.

Lilia is attempting to be selfless- he’s trying to minimize the impact of his departure and reduce grief. But by doing so, he’s inadvertently being selfish. By not sharing his sadness, he’s pressuring everyone else to hide their own feelings. By pulling away so quickly, he’s not allowing others to process the loss. By refusing to allow anyone to come with him, he’s taking away a relationship everyone who cares for him. For Lilia, he’s trying to be selfless, but he’s really being selfish- prioritizing his own comfort at the quick loss over what would be better for everyone.

Malleus does something very similar. He characterizes what he’s doing in the dreams as a good thing- a gift. Something he is selflessly giving to everyone. And it’s possible he even believes this. He truly thinks he’s sparing people from pain and suffering.

But he’s still being selfish. He didn’t ask if people wanted this, and, at the end of the day, he didn’t do this because he came to the conclusion on his own. He came to the conclusion because Lilia was leaving and he wanted to stop it. Malleus is trying to use his power to help, but his motives are, at the end of the day, selfish.

And then Silver. People might be protesting he’s never done anything like the other two, but he’s got shades of this as well. Silver’s moment comes when he learns his identity: he’s the son of the Dawn Knight, the person who killed Malleus’ mother. Lilia spared and adopted him, despite considering killing him.

This is the point where Silver plunges into the darkness and considers letting it take him. He frames this action as selfless- he doesn’t deserve his loving family after what his relatives did to them, so he will take himself out of their lives.

But this action is still ultimately selfish, in the same way Lilia’s action is. He’s still denying the people that love him their autonomy (insisting they could not love him when they clearly very much do) and he is also behaving selfishly in regard to their mission- going into the darkness traps Sebek, Yuu, and Grim in the dream and stops them from reaching Malleus, who both needs their help and needs to be stopped. It’s not a malicious selfishness, but it’s there nonetheless.

And then there’s Sebek, who doesn’t engage in any of this nonsense and is more than willing to call people out on it! He calls Silver out, and I’m willing to bet he’ll call Lilia and Malleus out on it as well when we get those confrontations. He breaks the Diasomnia pattern, and does so by being fully and utterly honest with who he is and what he wants.

It should also be noted that Lilia helped raise Malleus and entirely raised Silver, so that plays a part in their tendencies. All in all, the juxtaposition between selfishness and selflessness in Diasomnia is fascinating, and I hope this was an interesting little reflection on how it comes up in the game!

[brandwhorestarscream]

part 2 of D-16 carrying Sentinel’s sparkling please?

Your wish is my command, anon! I had a lotta people asking for this, so many messages! Ya'll are so sweet, I really appreciate it, so thanks for that! Let's get right into it ^-^ part 1 is here, part 3 here, part 4 here!

Orion is at his side in an instant, yelping, "Dee, no! Stop, you'll hurt yourself!" As he forcibly grabs his friend's servos to stop him from tearing himself apart. D-16 shrieks a wordless noise of agony, and then collapses forward onto Orion to begin sobbing violently into his shoulder. Clutching onto him like a lifeline, wailing with all the devastated force he can. Bawling against Orion and falling to pieces, brokenly asking what he's going to do. 

Orion numbly wraps his arms around Dee, letting his chin fall onto his shoulder. His arms slowly tighten, til he’s clinging with near-denting force, and his optics begin to sting with tears too. It hits him later than it did D-16, what exactly Sentinel did to them. That he intentionally got them drunk and lied to them, he lied, lied, lied about them being special and lied about caring for them, all so he could make them pop their panels. It sinks in, slowly, exactly what he took from them: he robbed them of their first time, something that should’ve been one of the tenderest, loving moments of their lives. He used them and threw them away just because he could. He ravaged their bodies selfishly, under false pretenses, without a care for how it would effect them. He touched their sparks. He raped them, both of them, and a sob suddenly flies past Orion’s lips. It hits him all at once, with a feeling like a train has just plowed into his chassis full-force, and all he can do is cling onto D-16 and wail. They cry together, desperately holding onto each other there on the cavern, weeping with all the force of their broken, disgusted sparks.

Alpha Trion stands vigil over them, observing in sorrow, letting them mourn and grieve all that they’ve lost. His spark aches for them. Poor, poor children… they’re so young. Too young to be forced to weather something like this, such an egregious sin… he watches Elita approach them with a haunted look on her face, B-127 wandering closer in her shadow, and she reaches a trembling servo to gently rest on Orion’s shoulder. He grabs onto her wrist like a lifeline, face angling up to look at her lost and broken, optics shattered and expression void of all hope. She bows her helm, mouth pressed into a thin line and lips trembling. Struggling not to cry for them. B-127 creeps closer and, after hesitating for a moment, pads forward to glom onto D-16’s arm. He’s silent as the bigger mech cries, patting at his arm and trying desperately to think of something he can do. But there’s nothing, not really, nothing in the universe could ever soothe a pain like this.

They cry until they can’t shed any more tears, til their bodies have completely exhausted their optical cleanser and lubricant stores, and they’re left dry sobbing and shuddering in exhaustion, slumping against one another and barely upright. It hurts. It hurts. Everything hurts.

��...little one,” Alpha Trion gently addresses D-16 at last, stepping forward and flicking the last of his tears off his face. “I cannot undo what has been done to you, but I can offer to relieve one of your burdens.”

D-16 sniffles miserably, still huddled close to Orion where they’re now sitting side by side on the floor. Orion is cross-legged, face in his servos, with Dee snuggled close against his side, his helm cradled on the blue mech’s shoulder. “Wh…” his voice creaks like a rusty hinge. “What do you…?”

Alpha Trion steps back and raises his palms to the sky, optics closing and exhaling a great puff of air. “ONYX!” his deep voice echoes through the cavern like a clap of thunder. “Onyx, my brother, I beseech you. Speak to this child in my place!”

A warm wind blows in from nowhere, with such force it disturbs the magnetic sand all around them. It begins to swirl, lifting from the ground and into the air to form a funnel, billions of grains chasing one another around and around and forming a curtain around Alpha Trion’s body. They cluster around and seem to consume him, rushing over his plating and molding to his form like a second coat of paint. His helm drops back so his face is parallel to the ceiling, then he gasps as his optics fly open. No longer blue, but a warm, crackling orange-and-pink, like a freshly lit hearth.

He stumbles forward, unsteady on his pedes, taking to one knee and his left palm touching the floor as he stabilizes. “Oh…” when he speaks, it is not Alpha Trion’s voice. He’s… a bit higher pitched. Warmer. Even gentler. “Mother… mercy…”

He shakes his helm and the sand stubbornly clings, before at last he raises his face, zeroing in on the frightened, confused quartet.

“Oh…” he straightens up, optics drifting from each of their faces before focusing wholly on D-16. His expression slips from bafflement to a sort of pained compassion. Not quite pity, but if the way his mouth turns down and his optics narrow with sorrow are any indication, his spark aches for them. “Oh, dear…”

“D-Did he say-” B-127’s optics are impossibly wide, and he’s frozen on the spot, unable to move his pedes. “O-Onyx Prime-?”

“Indeed,” he nods in affirmation, straightening up. Though he remains in Alpha Trion’s body, the sand constructs his visage, shaping around the crests of his helm and fanning out on his back to take the form of his wings. Wings that were missing from his corpse. “Though I wish our meeting was under less dire circumstances, children.”

“Y- You’re-” Elita is starting to frown, inching in front of her group with one arm out. “You’re… th-the god of death-” Oh, Primus. Is he here to reap their sparks? Has Alpha Trion channeled him here to take them away?!

“Do not fear, little one. Peace,” Onyx holds up one servo, and his optics glimmer with warmth. He smiles, gently, hoping to put them at ease. “I mean you no harm. I shepherd over the dead, those who have already passed on. I help them find their way home to Primus, and assist them in seeking rebirth, but I am not here to be your reaper. Please… do not be afraid.”

He approaches them and kneels down just before D-16, looking deep into his optics. “Brother Alpha has called me here to speak to you, child.”

“M-” Dee is clinging tight to Orion, spark pulsing in fear. This- This is death incarnate! They said his hands could bleed a spark from it’s frame with a single touch! They said he lorded over the afterlife and knew everyone’s date and time of death to the millisecond. Having him here, specifically to speak to him, made his throat threaten to close in panic. “Me?”

“Yes,” Onyx Prime’s servo gently touches his helm and he yelps, they all do, flinching away. But after several seconds he realizes, wait… he can still feel everything. He can still feel Orion beside him, can still feel the warm gush of his vents. Actually… he feels better. Physically, anyway: his frame is already beginning to lower it’s heightened temperature back into the green zone, the insistent, horrible pain in his tanks is abating. His optics peak open, and finds Onyx still there, smiling kindly at him. “Please… you needn’t be afraid. I swear to you, upon my graves, I shall not harm you.”

“Wh…” Elita gulps. “Why are you…?”

His optics drift lower, to D-16’s chassis and abdomen. His expression saddens. “You've been forced to endure something terrible… oh, you poor, poor thing…”

The Prime pulls his servo away from Dee’s helm, though not before giving him an affectionate pat. “Listen to me, little one. You are young, you are hurt, and the journey ahead will be very difficult regardless of the path you take. Forcing you to bear this sparkling forced upon you would be a great cruelty if it is not your choice to do so. If you would like, I will take them and return to the Allspark.”

D-16’s spark slams to a stop in his chest. He stiffens, and Orion sits up straighter beside him. Elita’s mouth falls open.

“Wh… What are you…”

“It won’t cause you nor them any pain. They will be safe, and you shall not be punished for it,” he nods down at him. “I know this one, as I know all of them. They are a good spark, they will not resent you if you don’t wish to birth them. They will love you just the same, just as I will, and just as Primus will. The choice is entirely yours, little one.”

Dee’s audials start to ring, and he presses both palms to his chassis. It’s warm, overly warm as it has been the last several decacycles, and before he’d thought it was the heat of fever, but now he knows it is because he hosts an infant soul anchored to his.

He feels frozen in place. He- he could… Onyx Prime would…?

He sobs again and covers his mouth, bowing his helm. “I- I don’t-” he chokes. “I d-don’t know! I don’t know, I- I dunno, I-”

Does he want this sparkling? Does he? He doesn’t know! When Alpha Trion had announced his state, he’d been so happy. Over the moon in fact, beaming with pride and so excited to share the news. They were living proof of his and Orion’s tryst with Sentinel, proof that they were loved and important, and they were so indescribably precious. Now, though… now, they’re… they’re…

Primus, he doesn’t know what they are! He wants to curse them, wants to rip them from his spark chamber and toss them away so there’s no evidence of what that monstrous false Prime had done to him. He doesn’t want to remember, doesn’t want a constant, hideous reminder of the worst thing to ever happen to him.

But… the part of him that was previously excited wars with the other half of him. He doesn’t know that that’s what this sparkling will be. He’d been so excited, so happy, and now in it’s place there’s sadness and horror, and yet another part of him is so angry and repulsed and… and…!

He sobs again, clawing at his helm. “I DON’T KNOW!” he shouts, grinding his denta. “I don’t know, ok?! I don’t know!” how can he? Everything is such a mess in his helm, emotions at war and raging back and forth, grappling for dominance and all trying to shove the other down. He’s scared. He’s hurt. He’s sparkbroken. This is his first sparkling. Perhaps once he’d dreamed of this day, but pictured it so differently, hand in hand with someone who meant more to him than anything else, both of them with transformation cogs because they were good and hardworking and had been rewarded for their efforts. Perhaps he had dreamt of a home, with- with someone special, and a family with one or even two precious sparklings. It was a dream that was supposed to be achieved far into the future. Now, broken as he is, he worries it never will. Never can. It would be an impossibility, as he is now… if he kept this sparkling, he would have to look at it every day knowing he did not love the sire, and never could. He would have to look upon them as their only parent and know that his dreams of a happy life died long before they were even born.

But… if he lets them go, if he lets the god of the dead pluck them from his chest, he might never be fortunate enough to conceive again. What if this first sparkling is his only sparkling, and in letting them go, he loses his one chance? It’s too soon, it’s too early, and circumstances are dire, but… is he prepared to let them go? Knowing this could very well be his only chance?

D-16 sobs again, and Orion’s arm wraps around his shoulder, pulling him close against his chassis. Dee’s face burrows into his neck, whole body shaking as he whimpers again and again that he just doesn’t know!

“...peace, my little one,” Onyx Prime’s voice is rife with sadness and empathy. “You need not make a choice now, or even today. I… I apologize for bringing you further distress, but please know,” he places his right servo over his spark in oath. “The Primes are with you. When you make your choice, utter a prayer to me, and I will come to you if you require my aid.”

With a sigh, all of the sand suddenly falls from Alpha Trion’s body with the whisper of countless grains trickling to the floor, and when he blinks his optics become blue once more. “Ah…” he takes note of their distress, and shakes his helm sadly. “Poor children… rest. You are weary. Rest, and I will feed you.” once they’ve eaten and had time to process, he can reveal more to them, but that can wait.

They have suffered enough for one day. 

...

And that's where I'm gonna cut part 2! Poor, poor Dee... this is the worst day of his life, but at least he has Orion to support him. I hope ya'll enjoyed this angst nugget :3 if you want part 3, ya'll know what to do. Abuse the crap out of my ask box lol. Gimme your thoughts or predictions as well, that's always fun

[rivatar]

Hi can I make a request for Jake sully x fem human reader! (first movie when he gets really buff towards the end!)

Ok hear me out:

Reader is obsessed with Jake sully’s muscles like gets super aroused like down bad for them!! The reader lures Jake into a trap (but Jake doesn’t know that he thinks he’s getting love from her like normal) but reader ties him up with a rope/leash!! (Very unexpected) And super spicy and exciting things happen between them!?!?!?!?!?

I’ll let you finish the story if you dare…😉

Tbh I have been craving a spicy story for weeks now!!

Thank you and have a wonderful day/night!!!

Much love from your fan!!!! 🩷😁

Fell Into the Trap

Pairing: Jake!Sully x fem!human!reader

Warnings/content: smut MDNI🔞, restraints/handcuffs, masturbation, multiple orgasms, p in v, some degradation, they’re both switches kinda, cream pie, think that’s it but lmk :)

A/n: FINALLY got this request done!! I hope you and everyone else enjoys!! It’s pure filth heheh 🫶🏼

W/c: 4.4k

Biceps, abs, quads, pecs, forearms, back muscles.

His muscular physique was running through your head nonstop today (and maybe everyday) and God, it was eating you alive.

It probably didn’t help that Jake had already given you a taste. You befriended him when he arrived on Pandora, rolling in on his wheelchair. You were and still are under Dr. Augustine. You thought Dr. Augustine and Norm gave Jake way too much hell at first, but they eventually warmed up to him. You would always laugh at his witty jokes and sarcasm from the very beginning. And it seemed like he noticed, as he started approaching you more and aimed to make you laugh whenever he could. This turned into a unique bond the two of you developed. You were obviously friends but this elevated into something more after spending so much time with him. He was sweet and charming, and you had no other romantic prospects so why the hell not? You gave into his flirtatious advances months ago and have slept with him ever since.

Now, months later, Jake is officially trained as Omatikayan warrior, having just passed his rites of passage not even a full week ago. You were so proud of him, as was the rest of your department. Everyone celebrated his accomplishment and his recognition was well deserved. Since then, he has received many welcoming gifts to his kelku and even courting offers from a lot of the women in the clan, to which he would respectfully decline.

But selfishly, you were ready to have him back to yourself. He’s been so busy now that he’s officially one of The People that he’s barely in his home and barely has come to see you. You were also tied up with your own work to be fair, but you were used to seeing him for hours everyday after the workday was finished.

The past few nights you would touch yourself before bed or else you would toss and turn all night, craving his touch. It wasn’t enough though. Your fingers paled in comparison to him. He would spend hours pleasuring you with his tongue, fingers, cock, and whatever other body part you desired to touch on him, sometimes opting to ride his abs or thighs. You could just eat him alive, you thought to yourself.

It was late at night as you tossed and turned in your bed for yet another night. Deep in your (horny) thoughts, you decided you would somehow catch him tomorrow and make him make it up to you. You didn’t care how many plans he might have as he’s settling into his new life, it would all just have to wait. You may have been thinking with your cunt instead of your brain but you didn’t care at this point. And by Eywa, he was gonna pay for it.

…………………..

You had your plan perfectly in order. After finishing up your work for the day as quickly as you could, you headed off into the village. You wore a jacket, solely for the reason of being able to load down the pockets with your tools. Tools needed to take a 9 ft tall Na’vi man down and render him helpless.

After making enough small talk with the villagers you passed by, you finally spotted Jake. And fuck, he looked better and better with each passing day. His slutty little tewng barely covered him at all, and it looked like a new tewng, you don’t think you’ve ever seen it befor- “Y/N! Come here, we were just talking about you!” Jake snapped you out of your trance once he spotted you, motioning you to come forward. You were hard to miss in a sea of blue people.

Clearing your throat and masking a smile, you walked towards him and the two other warriors standing next to him. They smiled politely and nodded their heads at you. “All good things, right?” You responded, smirking slightly. They looked to be carving out arrows and assembling them.

Jake chuckled, “More or less,” he teased. You scoffed playfully, crossing your arms. Then you gathered up the courage to tell him the reason you were there.

“Jake, can I borrow you for a minute? It’s nothing bad—just some things Grace wanted me to discuss with you regarding mapping the area,” you grabbed his wrist and tugged him with you, “It might take a minute, it’s a lot of information,” you lied to the warriors that were standing with him as you walked the two of you away. The two men looked at each other knowingly, like they knew what you were really doing. Although Jake looked clueless.

“Sure, but I thought we already discussed this?” He giggled a little at you guiding him, clearly confused what this was about.

“Yes but she wanted to finalize the details. You have the map in your kelku, right?” You asked, already knowing the answer and hastily making your way towards his home.

“Yeah I do but I’ve told her I’ve added everything to it that I know for now. I don’t think there’s anything more I can do,” he thought carefully. His home was in sight, just another minute or so away.

Just keep making excuses, almost there.

“I’m just following her orders, Jake,” you smiled up innocently at him, “let’s just see what we can do, yeah?”

His home was a few feet away, all you had to do was get him past the door and inside. You could nearly taste the sweet victory. You motioned your arm out a little for him to go in before you as you snuck your hand in your pocket to pull out a Banshee Catcher, stretching it out behind his back.

“Yeah, we’ll see what we can d- SHIT!” He hit the floor in the middle of his home with a loud THUD. Your aim was perfect, hitting his ankles precisely as the catcher wrapped around them, making him lose his balance and fall forward. He tried to catch part of his body as he fell, but still ended up hitting his head on the ground. Raising himself up a little, he rubbed his forehead as he winced and turned back to look at you. “What the fuck??”

“Shut. Up.” You barked as you walked towards his laid out form, unraveling the rope you got out from your other pocket and tying it in a loop.

Jake was still laying on his stomach as he continued rubbing his temples. You approached him swiftly before he could make any moves and hooked the loop around his neck, tightening it up.

“B-Baby, what are you doing?” His voice came out a little more shaky than he’d like to admit. His hands found the ground beneath him as he tried to start pushing himself up. You stomped your foot on his back and pushed him back down with all your weight.

“Do not move!” You scolded while tightening the rope you had on his neck as you stood above him.

He relaxed his arms and held his hands out to the side in surrender. “Okay, okay. Jesus Christ— who taught you how to take down a man like this?”

“I’ll never share my sources,” you smirked cockily.

Reaching into your back pocket of your jeans, you pulled out your final item.

“Arms behind your back,” you demanded.

His eyes grew wide once they came into view as he craned his neck back to see what you had. “Where the hell did you steal handcuffs from??”

“I have my ways and it’s none of your concern! Arms back, Sully.”

He shut up in defeat, slowly placing his arms back. You snapped the cuffs around his wrists and finally let out a sigh of relief that he was pretty much helpless now, even with you being a human and him being a Na’vi, he wasn’t getting out of this.

“Okay, you got me now. Good job. Now can you please kindly explain what this is about??” He huffed in annoyance, feeling kinda proud of you yet embarrassed you took him down so easily.

“I’m about to show you,” you said while squatting down to place your hands around the banshee catcher, “I’ll undo this if you promise not to run,” you offered.

“Yes, yes, please— I won’t leave, I swear,” he pleaded. You eyed him for any bluffing but he seemed rather honest. So graciously, you released the hold the catcher had around his ankles. He spread out his legs in relief, not daring to try to take off. Besides, how would he tell everyone a human girl managed to get him in handcuffs? They would never let him live that down. And also, he didn’t particularly mind seeing you so… feisty. Although he didn’t know why you were being this way, specifically towards him. Nevertheless, you had his full attention. He rolled over on his back to face you.

You slightly pulled the rope around his neck, urging him to sit up on his butt. You swiftly tied your end of his leash, per se, around a sturdy post in the middle of the room.

You couldn’t help but bust out laughing at his astonished look of pure and utter disbelief. “God, I wish you could see the look on your face right now,” you giggled uncontrollably, hunching over a little to hold your tummy as it started to hurt from laughing. He just looked more and more confused by the second, wondering why you were laughing and what had gotten into you.

He chuckled a bit uncomfortably, “Haha, yeah… so what now? You gonna leave me here?” He presumed.

“Oh Jake… is that what you think this is?” You poked your bottom lip out to mock him, “No baby, but you’re gonna wish I had left you here by the time I’m done with you,” you giggled triumphantly. His eyebrows scrunched together more, trying to figure out why you were acting so crazy. He was beginning to be speechless.

To confuse him even more, you decided to start taking off your clothes. You wore comfy gym shorts and a sports tanktop today as it was hot and sunny outside. You peeled up your tank and tossed it at his face, to which it hung onto him for a split second until falling down to the ground. His mouth hung open slightly as saliva pooled in his mouth, eyes roaming everywhere on you.

Then you peeled off your sports bra and your breasts popped out, bouncing a little as they settled freely with no more restriction. You kicked out of your shoes and shimmied your shorts and panties down in one go, tossing everything to the side and out of the way.

“Get my meaning now, Jakey?” You mocked his little nickname, tilting your head at him with your hands on your hips.

He licked his lips and swallowed all the drool that pooled up in his mouth from such a mouthwatering sight. His pupils were blown up and his tail was stiff and pointing upwards in high alert. “Shit baby… if you wanted some you should’ve just asked,” He said with a slight groan, eyes still soaking up every inch of you.

“Oh, please,” you scoffed, having already been fed up with waiting for so long, “I’ve given you several hints and you ignored them. Ignored ME!” Your voice rose as you pointed at yourself, “So, I had to take matters into my own hands,” you shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly. To you, you were only doing what anyone else would’ve done. Take control of the situation instead of suffering.

“So now you will listen to me and do whatever I want, got it?” You demanded.

Jake couldn’t help the wide grin that split across his face. He looked like a kid who had just been given some ice cream. This was supposed to be his punishment and the bastard never looked so happy. “Yes ma’am,” he followed your orders. Happily. He shifted over to get on his knees, a little too excited already as he had a prominent bulge in his loincloth.

You walked towards him with an all-knowing smirk. It was laughable that he thought he was gonna get some pussy right away. “Yeah, you’re good at following orders, aren’t you Marine?” You grabbed his face and brought it right up to yours.

His breath was hot and came out in quick exhales, fanning across your lips. “Mhmm,” he licked his lips while he stared at yours, being so close yet not close enough to seal them together.

You kept teasing him, acting like you were about to kiss him and then you just didn’t. He leaned forward to try to catch your lips and you leaned back before he could, laughing in his face. “Don’t get all desperate and pathetic on me already, Jakey,” you teased as he looked visibly disappointed. His cheeks were already a purplish tint.

“‘m not desperate,” he grumbled.

“Oh really? Let’s see about that,” you said prettily and innocently as you lowered yourself to the ground, laying back and propping on your elbows as your legs sprawled out for him to see everything.

Sharp canines came into view as he bit his bottom lip, eyes hooded over with pure lust. He crawled on his knees to get closer but the rope held him back. A growl left his chest in frustration. “How the hell am I supposed to touch you when you’ve got me tied up, huh?”

“Who said anything about you doing any touching? This is not for you, Sully,” you scolded, “Now, follow my orders—Watch.”

Your scooted back a little to lean against the wall so you could relax without holding yourself up. You ran your two little hands down your soft body, slowly and sensually to drag out as much pleasure as possible. The lightest feathery touches on yourself heightened your sensitivity. You massaged your breasts, pinching your nipple between your thumb and index finger. The feeling went straight to your core. Slick started leaking out of your hole, begging for some attention. You left one hand to keep stimulating your nipple and the other hand trailed down to your pussy. You ran two fingers through your glistening folds as you teased around your entrance and on your swollen clit. Your head fell back as a soft moan escaped your parted lips, to which you then bit your lip.

“Jesus,” He whispered, “Okay, I get it and I’m sorry I didn’t make time for you and that sweet pussy. I regret it so much and it won’t happen again!” He babbled as his erection was becoming more painful by the second.

“Hmm, how sorry are you?” You hummed as you kept pleasuring yourself, sticking two fingers inside. But it wasn’t nearly enough.

“So fucking sorry! Baby please, I’ll make it up to you, I swear!!” He pleaded, watching desperately as your fingers sunk into your heat.

You started a steady pace going in and out, not really caring for his words but appreciating the deep baritone of his voice getting you off more. “Damn right you’re making it up to me,” you all but moaned.

You were getting lost in your own world, it felt like pure hot liquid gold was pooling in your tummy as your orgasm built up. “Stand up, Jake,” you whimpered. You wanted to see his entire form in all its glory.

He did as he was told like the good little soldier he was. And fuck, his physique was blessed by Eywa herself. You would thank her later for her perfect design of him. His hair looked so pretty, as two shorter strands hung out front to frame his face, and damn— that face. ‘Handsome’ was an understatement that didn’t do him justice. Chokers adorned his strong neck that flared out to incredibly broad and sturdy shoulders. His arms were amazingly strong and bulky— much bulkier than the other Na’vi. They were much leaner and smaller-boned than Jake. His mix of human DNA in his Na’vi body was nothing less of perfect, in your opinion. His chest was powerful looking, with plump pecs showcasing his strength in that area. Then his waist— God, his waste. It was so slutty, the way it narrowed down so much compared to how wide his shoulders and chest were. Even though it was lean, it still housed just as many muscles in his abs and hips, with not an ounce of fat, just pure muscle. His thighs and calves shouldn’t be left out either, they were equally as beautiful. And of course you couldn’t leave out a particular body part you deemed as your favorite— his veiny cock. Just like the rest of his body that everyone else got to see, it was just as perfect as him. Long and girthy, littered with his unique bioluminescent pattern on it.

And now as he stood, you could savor the sight of him. Seeing his muscles ripple slightly as he shifted his stance and strained against the handcuffs was all you needed to finish. You sped up on rubbing your clit as your other hand plunged in and out of your sopping cunt.

“Fuckkk, Jake!” You screamed as you rode it out, your body twitching and trying to get away from the overstimulation. You swore you heard a low rumbling growl but it was hard to tell over your choked sobs.

“You’re torturing me, baby,” he said shakily, almost whimpering. He watched intently with eyes trained directly on your pussy as the precious scene took place before him. Some slick gushed out of your hole and around your fingers as you pulled them out slowly.

“I know,” you replied wryly.

“Can you untie me now so I can help you out?” He was sounding so desperate now and it did you well to get beneath his skin like this.

“Hmmm,” you pretended to think, “Maybe later.”

He groaned in frustration and bared his teeth briefly, clearly getting aggravated.

“Don’t get sassy with me,” you snapped while standing up to saunter over to him. Once you were closer you could see the wet spot on his loincloth from his pre-cum.

“Awww, are you pent up? Poor guy needs to cum so bad, don’t you?” You teased and mocked him, “It sucks, doesn’t it?”

You seen the way his jaw clenched in restraint, he felt like a little kid in timeout again. He stared down at you with a piercing gaze. You were pushing all his buttons. He swore he was gonna tear you apart later the moment he got out of these damned restraints.

You grabbed one of his wrists and led him to a chair in the corner of the room. “Sit down,” you tugged his wrist down, urging him to do so.

He sat down and thankfully the rope was just long enough for him to go to this corner without it straining on his neck. You eagerly climbed into his lap, straddling over one of his thighs with your bare cunt coating your leftover slick on his leg. He let out a shaky breath at the contact of finally at least feeling your warm body against him.

“Y/N, please. I can’t take it much longer,” he whined.

You gave him a peck on the mouth, “Not much longer.” Then started your assault on his body.

You started on his neck, first smelling his natural musk, then licking and sucking on the sensitive flesh there. He quietly groaned and you felt his hips jerk up underneath you, frantically searching for some friction. You felt all around his shoulders, chest, and arms, grabbing all you could get and moaning in appreciation at the straight up beefiness to him. Then your hands went lower and felt up his abs, that were constricting currently due to your neck kisses that drove him mad.

“Hmmm, gonna fuck the shit out of you later,” He promised.

You couldn’t help the soft moan that hummed against his skin where you were kissing, sucking, licking. You quickly stopped to reach around and untie his loincloth hastily. You were gonna die if his dick wasn’t shoved inside you within the next minute or so.

“You stretched out enough?” He asked a bit worriedly as you grabbed his cock and slid it through your folds.

“I hope so,” you breathed out before you slammed your hips down with as much force as you could muster, letting your weight help you sink down.

A slew of curses left both your mouths as your small pussy engulfed him entirely. “Holy shit, you needed it bad, huh?”

“Yes!” You nearly cried as tears already formed in your eyes from the sheer fullness from him. His dick hit every spot you needed to be touched.

Raising up, you slammed back down on him and picked up a ruthless pace. You held onto his shoulders for stability and you had so much adrenaline that your legs weren’t burning from doing the work. You bounced vigorously, barely allowing either one of you enough time to even breathe.

His head was thrown back as guttural moans left his mouth, having no choice but to take what you were giving him. You moaned and cried above him, tears streaming down your cheeks from the incredible sensations. The coil in your core was about to snap at any second but you tried to hold it off as long as you could. But you couldn’t hold it back.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You screamed as your orgasm overtook your entire being. You clenched hard around his length and moaned in time with you.

“S-Shit, gonna make me cum too!” he groaned as his hips stuttered and his hot seed shot up into you. Synchronized moans and whispered of praise filled the room as you worked through your highs.

You slouched onto him as his dick remained inside you, twitching from aftershocks. You were both sticky with sweat and quietly panting.

“Untie me,” his voice was hoarse. You leaned up, slightly confused at his tone. But after you looked in his eyes, you could see the mischief he was trying to mask.

“Yes sir,” you smirked playfully and got off him with wobbly legs, walking over to your discarded clothes to retrieve the key for his cuffs and a knife for his rope. You knew subconsciously that he was about to give you the dicking down of your life after this stunt you pulled, and you weren’t complaining.

You gave him a small smile as you cut the rope and reached around to unlock his handcuffs. He threw the cuffs to the side and scooped you up, and then set you down on the open floor.

“Hands and knees, babygirl,” he demanded. You scurried almost pathetically to get into place, poking your ass out as your arched your back and looked back at him sexily.

“Like a bitch in heat,” he snickered, “Just how I like it”

You arched even more, only eating up his degrading words. Some would call it pathetic or whorish, but by Eywa, you were fine with just being his whore if that’s all he wanted. And you didn’t care how that sounded.

“Now let’s get one thing settled,” he smacked your ass hard, “That was cute and all, but I’m the one in charge here, got it?”

“Yes, sir,” you whimpered and pressed your ass back to nudge against his cock. Your switch up was crazy but again—you’d do nearly anything for this man and that’s why you were so cranky without him. You wanted him to be rough and fuck you hard, so you couldn’t be more pleased with how your plan has went.

“God, you’re such a slut. Only for me though, right?” He taunted.

“Yes, only you!” You swayed your hips around, trying to get him to just put it in you already.

He chuckled darkly behind you and drove it in with one stroke. You sighed contently in unison. You wish you could bottle up this feeling and keep it forever, every second of every day. But then you’d get nothing done ever.

“So goddamn tight and wet still. Needy little thing,” he smacked your ass again while continuing his thrusts.

His thrusts were hard and sloppy. No doubt you would have bruises tomorrow from his pelvis smacking you over and over again. But you didn’t care, not when his cock was kissing your cervix so perfectly.

He grabbed your neck and bent himself over to be right next to you. He kissed your cheek and panted roughly in your ear, “My little slut. Just needed to be fucked silly and stuffed full of cock, right?” He smiled briefly through his panting. Your jaw was completely slack as loud moans fell from your mouth. “Mhmm!!”

He craned your neck back ever more to meet your lips in a sloppy kiss. This position had your back arched so much that your eyes rolled in the back of your head. He sped up his thrusts and you were both nearing another climax.

He pulled his lips off yours because he felt you starting to clench, indicating your incoming orgasm. The third one tonight. He was about to burst himself.

Your eyes kept rolling back and squeezing shut. “Look at me when you cum,” he held your neck in this position, craning up towards him.

“Cumming! I’m cumming!” You cried. You stared in his eyes as your coil snapped and his did too as he stared back at you. It was the type of eye contact that was dangerous, the type that ties people’s souls together and makes them fall in love. There was no going back though.

He pulled out slowly and moved your body to lay down as he laid down beside you. You were both trying to catch your breath.

He pulled you into his chest and kissed the top of your head. “Tired?” He hummed sweetly, noticing your body wasn’t moving at all.

“Mhmm,” you hummed and he laughed.

“Go to sleep, we’ll clean up later,” he stroked your hair, “Just make sure to get those handcuffs back to their rightful owner later,” he chuckled.

“Hush.” You hummed, giving into the sleepiness beckoning you to rest.

Taglist: @bambithewriter @neteyamssyulang @anemonelovesfiction @luvv4j4ybe11 @vogueweb @nonamevenus @inolaphoenix @neteyamsoare @professional-yapper @plantgirliewholovespandora @etherynn @jakesullyfatjuicypeen @ladykat37 @loakstahni @zafrinaxyz @xylianasblog

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Birthday: cbf!soap x reader

Johnny turned eighteen a couple months after you.

He had tried to convince you to not make it a big deal, but you and his mother couldn’t help but have a celebration. He couldn’t lie that it was nice to have a couple presents and have cake with you, as well as play a couple games.

To end the evening, he took you on a drive, one that ended up lasting well into the night. The two of you were sat in a field, covered in nothing but darkness and the stars.

“Can’t believe we’re both eighteen now.” You said with disbelief and he nodded.

“Crazy to think about.” He added. “We’ll be graduating in a couple months.”

You hummed. The thought of graduation made you nervous. Not only was it a big change from the routine of high school but you weren’t entirely sure if Johnny was going to leave.

It had been a while since he had talked about joining the military and selfishly you hoped that meant he was done with the idea of it. You hoped that meant he was going to go to university with you and the two of you wouldn’t have to part ways.

If he went from talking about it almost weekly to not even mentioning it, that had to be the reason.

“Figured out what uni you’re going to?” He wondered and you shrugged.

“Not yet…I’m not really sure what my major would even be.” You told him but he didn’t say anything.

You noticed immediately and glanced over at him to see the slight disapproval on his face, something that made your stomach turn up in nots.

“What?”

“Nothin’.”

“That’s a lie.”

Johnny scowled and glanced away from you. He traced his fingers over the scar on his chin while he gripped the steering wheel.

“…you haven’t made a plan at all?” He wondered and you felt a little bit of shame creeping up inside you.

“I have one. A small one.” It wasn’t a lie but he didn’t seem to like that answer.

The real truth was that you were terrified. You didn’t want to grow up and lose everything again, like how it was when you first moved here in the first place, but the thought of the future made you anxious.

The future was uncertain. What would you do with your life after college? What would you do during college? Would you even choose the right major? Was going even worth it?

Was Johnny even going to be here?

You wanted to tell him all of that but the words got stuck in your throat. When did it get so hard to talk to him? When did you stop telling him your fears?

“Alright then.” He said and started the car.

“Why are upset with me?” Your voice was small as he started back on the road.

“I’m not upset with you.”

You knew that he was holding back. He wasn’t being truthful and he wasn’t saying what he could be saying to you.

When did it get so hard for him to talk to you?

You stared at him, anxiety consuming everything inside you to the point it was like you couldn’t breathe.

“Okay…”

A/n: oops projected a bit in this one lol

Tags: @elysian0612 @cassiecasluciluce

[gothsuguru]

Hello! You can totally ignore if this isn’t up your alley but you could write something about suguru watching reader from afar while they grieve him for leaving? Either it’s super sad or twisted cause he feels happy that you love him enough to grieve him

I also could send in nsfw requests if you want those too

the choiceless grief that drove him underground

contents: f!reader, mentions of guilt, stalking, & mass murder. both characters express grief in different ways. bit of callous/twisted suguru, a nod to his dacryphilia as well. mainly angsty but i guess at the core of it… it’s sweet? w.c: ~ 1.4k

a/n: rem, i owe you my life & then some! :’) thank you SO much for the concept idea! <3 i love delving into the twisted/not-so pretty parts of suguru so i hope you enjoy! :D

the premise of the situation is quite… haunting.

to mourn a friend, (‘a lover’ — his voice gently admonishes from the back of your mind), who isn’t dead.

he still roams around the aether — akin to a ghost. and here you are, grieving a corporeal phantom of your past.

both you and suguru have a penchant for nostalgia, him moreso than you. it’s why he’s here now at the foothills of mount mushiro, camouflaging himself into the shadows of the night, depleting his own cursed energy so there’s not a single trace of him left. he stands there in a vantage point hidden behind massive japanese oak trees, a lonely specter peering wistfully at his dearly beloved.

ex-beloved, rather, he should say.

it was of his own volition anyways.

your lack of cursed energy leaves a bitter taste in his mouth when he remembers why he despises you so. the healed x-shaped scar on his chest burns and he wants to give you a matching one on your heart, as a reminder. you’re worse than a curse, he forces himself to seethe. heavenly restriction, huh? nothing heavenly about you…

a sick part of suguru wants to finally see you shatter — to watch someone as powerful as you break down and wail with such unbridled anguish, to hear your sorrowful screams pierce through the night sky like a gunshot wound to the head. something about imagining the way your tears would stick to your lashes makes his heart beat unbearably fast from within his ribcage. from sadness or intrigue, he doesn’t quite know…

he just selfishly craves to be the cause of it. to have you drown in tears of melancholy & be sundered by it like a tsunami of eerie desolation — to be plagued with devotion and corruption. just like him.

he wants you to get on your hands and knees and prostrate yourself to him — to lower yourself at his feet.

beneath him.

where you should be.

to apologize for being you. to apologize for coming into his life. to apologize for making him fall in love. to apologize for being his greatest curse. his greatest regret.

(regret for loving you or regret for leaving you… he’s not sure, yet. he’ll decide when he’s of more sound mind.)

yet all he gets is… just you… sitting there. expressionless.

suguru huffs quietly, his low-lidded gaze is heavy with fatigue and slight boredom. his soft exhales turn into smoky vapor in front of him, evaporating within seconds. he tediously redirects his amber irises back at you, observing you like a science experiment, scrutinizing your every move… only if you had done something, of course.

he notes that your stony face betrays no emotions, your body is rigid as if in living rigor-mortis. he surmises that the only thing that differentiates you from the zen statues around you is the gentle wisps of your hair across your face courtesy of the cold wind, crisp due to the night air.

before he realizes it, suguru’s fingers involuntarily twitch.

muscle memory.

(the same fingers have brushed against the plush of your cheek, caressed your hair & gently moved the strands away from your face. soft finger-pads outlined your lips gently, the shape of your cupid’s bow committed to memory. suguru figured the name was quite apt… he found himself wholly enraptured & in love.

hit by eros’ arrow the very moment he laid eyes on you — his lighthouse. his demise.)

a slight sniffle breaks suguru out of his reverie. he snaps his head back up at you, pierced brows furrowed and bright ochre eyes wide. he ignores the pang in his chest, his shock overtaking his senses leaving him paralyzed.

are you…?

your reddened eyes flit towards the foliage where suguru hides behind, and you softly rasp out a tired sigh. your lack of words are far more frigid than the midnight air, causing an ice cold shiver to run through suguru’s spine.

forcing the constriction in his throat back down, he exhales shakily, in a state of utter shock.

right.

heightened senses. superhuman physical capabilities. you always knew where suguru was before he ever knew where you were. a relationship of mutual indulgence — you pretend you don’t see him, and he pretends that you don’t know where he is at all times. as if you haven’t memorized his scent, his mannerisms, his soul. as if you couldn’t recognize him through physical vibrations alone.

just pretend you don’t see me now… indulge me one last time… please.

muscle memory.

you look away.

you focus your gaze towards the skyline of bountiful forest green trees, impeccable eyesight zeroing in on a tree with a heart carved around both his and your initials upon the espresso bark. the same tree where you had rested your head on suguru’s lap while he read his favorite books to you. the same tree where you had both shared your first kiss. the same tree where you had found out from a dear friend that suguru had murdered a whole village — some bullshit about him wanting to create a world with no curses. no non-sorcerers. no you.

you once playfully joked to suguru that you loved him more than he loved you. you remember the way his fists clenched at his sides, the furrow in his brow coupled with the immediate narrowing of his eyes, along with the slight snarl in his lip and voice pierced your soul as he resolutely scolded you — no one could ever love as deeply, as passionately, as genuinely as he loves you.

loved, rather, you should say.

what a fuckin’ liar.

…

in a blink of an eye, you disappear.

like a ghost.

you leave suguru alone to his own futile devices. he figures it’s fair, to indulge you one last time too, allowing you the ‘last laugh’, though he knows there’s no victors in this sick game that’s being played. he’s walked away from you before, it’s only fitting you do the same to him now.

his feet drag him to where you were hunched over before, his brain unable to catch up to what his body is doing. something glints in the moonlight, there in your stead, atop the plush green grass.

he crouches down, picking up the small photograph. the faded polaroid feels far heavier in his hand than he would think. a delicious shiver runs down suguru’s spine when he realizes his fingertips are touching where yours have touched. the bitterness that found its way in his mouth in the beginning washes away, leaving only a sickly sweet flavor that surrounds his mouth like pillowy cotton candy.

it’s one he hasn’t seen. you must’ve kept this with you all this time, he muses.

a photo, a candid, of him.

the pink sakura petals offered up a beautiful backdrop after a mission you two took in kyoto. back then, his smile was genuine & unbelievably wide — pearly whites on display, his pierced cherry red lips matched the camellia red blush that painted his cheeks — no doubt from your flirtatious comments about his beauty. his eyes were squinted, a photo you took of him while mid-laugh. he pushed his bangs aside while speaking to you, wanting to give you his full attention. the promise ring on his finger glinted in the sunlight along with the silver hairpin you gifted him moments before you took the photo, its amethyst gem dangling above his bun. a beacon of light.

a sign of devotion, of unending love. a promise.

suguru’s heart feels a bit heavier than he would like it to, yet the soft smile that graces his features is the most genuine form of adoration he’s exhibited since his defection. inundated with grief, you still held on to him.

an anchor of your past. a plague of your present. a welcoming calamity of your future.

“you still love me too, huh?” he softly whispers into the night, a sad smile on his face.

he gazes up at the moon. it looks quite beautiful tonight. he silently hopes you’re staring at it too.

thinking of him the same way he’s thinking of you.

[carminecherry]

THE SUMMER HEAT, THE COOL CAFE | mikey sano

this is part one of the series kill the lights

⇝ PAIRING: timeskip!biker!mikey sano x fem!reader

⇝ SERIES SYNOPSIS: after moving by yourself to tokyo, you black out at a party and wake up with a new friend. as she sweeps you up in her fast-paced city life, you feel yourself falling deeper and deeper for her mysterious brother. but something dark is brewing in the city. as his past threatens to resurface, mikey must fight not only physical enemies but the mental battle of his feelings for you. he can't resist you , but could he ever forgive himself if something happened to you? he'll love you selfishly and protect you savagely.

⇝ PART ONE LENGTH: 2.8k words

⇝ PART ONE WARNINGS: N/A (18+ minors do not interact):

all characters are 20+; Alternate Universe! Canon Divergent. you go out for coffee with emma after meeting at a mutual friend's house party. a friendship blossoms, but you can't seem to get a certain biker out of your head.

⇝ AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have been haunted by this mikey fic for almost a year! I hope you all can enjoy the drama and popcorn fiction of the world of the mikey-verse. we'll keep it fun and flirty and I PROMISE the build up will be worth it ;) it starts off slow, but there is gratuitous smut later in the series. keep an eye on the tags and stay safe! <3

DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS WORK IF YOU ARE A MINOR. BY CLICKING THE READMORE, YOU CONSENT TO VIEWING ADULT CONTENT.

The city has become a concrete jungle. The summer sun roasting the land beneath it. Lavishing in its task; making the hours creep by ever so slowly. Even after the sun goes down, the heat sets into the earth like a deep rot. 

You step out of your apartment, the distant star glaring down. The buzzing of the cicadas makes the heavy, humid air vibrate in an unpleasant way. You always hated summer and summers in Tokyo were a special hell. The way your clothes would cling to your sweaty body. How the muggy, wet air thickened your breath. And that's all before you consider the insects. 

One of the few blessings of living in the city was that there weren’t as many bugs here as in your childhood home. However, you didn’t have a parent here to kill or catch the scary ones that would occasionally make their way into your apartment and you didn’t have the heart or stomach to deal with them. 

A particularly ferocious looking cockroach had been in your sanctuary last night, which meant you had spent the better part of an hour making a very convincing argument for it to walk out of the balcony door. All the while, praying nothing else would fly in. Cursing and mentally tallying the money pouring out into the hot summer night as your AC ran at full blast. Fall couldn’t come soon enough. 

Today was particularly blistering. Your phone already growing hot in the short distance to the train station. If you hadn’t made plans in a better, more social mood, you could still be curled up under your AC. You cursed the gregarious version of yourself from the other night. The crowded train swaying, other passengers bumping into you with each motion. But It was too early in the friendship to flake now.

You had met her through a mutual friend at a house party. You were still relatively new to the city and didn’t have a community yet. Blessedly, it turns out you had a good friend from university living close by. Earlier in the week, out of the blue, he had reached out. The two of you had studied hard and partied harder as undergraduates. While he seemed to be making something of his fashion design degree, if his immaculately curated luxury loft were any indicator of success, you were busting your ass to make ends meet. 

Your job at the small combination cafe and bookshop was aesthetic and cozy but ultimately a placeholder until you found a job in your industry. Maybe you should’ve done Fashion Design after all. 

You wanted to catch up with him the other night, maybe even do some networking at his house party, but you had barely been able to get two sentences in before he was called off to talk to other party-goers. This had left you in your worst, admittedly nicely decorated, nightmare. 

This solitude and anxiety had led to you sipping awkwardly from one too many drinks. But the alcohol had eased your nerves enough for you to talk to another girl at the party. Regrettably, much of your conversion had been lost to the liquor, but meeting for coffee today had been nailed down before you lost too much of your sense. 

You winced in embarrassment, rubbing away the ghost of your hangover from the other night. You hope you hadn’t made a fool of yourself, and if you had, you hope that she doesn’t remember it either. 

Just then, your phone buzzed with a notification. Emma, the girl from the party’s name flashes on your phone screen. You tapped it quickly and read, 

“I’m so sorry, my ride fell through but I got another one. I’m running a little late but I’m on my way!” 

Thank god. Your heart had dropped seeing the preview of the message, thinking she was about to cancel. You quickly type back, 

“No sweat! I’ll see if I can snag us any of the good seats ;)”  

You don’t imagine it’ll be too busy since it’s that golden window after breakfast and before lunch, but the “good seats” are always the first to go. The thought of having to sit out on the balcony in this weather makes you cringe. The train lurches to a halt and you get your elbows up, worming your way out of the crowded car. The joys of Tokyo living.

You idly make your way to your destination, wishing there was some sort of breeze to ease the waves of hot air rising from the concrete. The streets are dotted with only a handful of other people; everyone else must be smart enough to stay inside today. There are a few cars on the road, the way the wind shifts around them as they zip past throws off an uncomfortable, hot gust.

You turned the corner to cut back to some of the side streets, there were usually less cars there; more pedestrian friendly. You’d usually opt for a cozier, more hole-in-the-wall type of cafe like the one you worked at, but Emma had insisted that she wanted to try the new seasonal drink at this place. 

This location was often not as busy as you would expect from one of the most popular coffee joints in Tokyo. Well, the world. But ever since tourists started coming back to Japan, it was becoming more difficult to anticipate the crowds. You rounded the corner and neared the big wooden doors. 

The cicadas were noisy as hell, even here. You noticed there was something masked by the buzzing. A revving? The sound rapidly approached and in moments was bearing down on you. You jumped back, securely on the sidewalk as a motorcycle screeched to a halt. The sudden appearance of the two riders on its back catching nearby eyes. 

The driver of the bike was dressed head to toe in black, matching his sleek black bike. You could practically see the heat waves rolling off of the leather biker jacket that stretched across a broad back and tightened over what were sure to be muscular shoulders. 

You questioned how and why anyone could wear that getup in this weather. The smaller figure on the back was more sensibly dressed in light, loose clothes, the outfit accentuating their feminine features. She tugged off her helmet, golden locks tumbled free of their confines.

“Jesus! It’s too hot to be wearing a damn helmet, Mikey! I think it messed up my hair” she whined, shoving the helmet into the hands of the figure named Mikey. She tossed her hair a few times in an attempt to fluff some life back  into what was matted by the helmet. She was stunning regardless. He made no move to take off his headwear, the visor an impenetrable black, betraying no feature of the face beneath. 

“That’s a long way to say thank you.” He returned dully. She gave him a shove as she hopped off the bike. Turning on her heel she offered, “Thank you.” The words dripped in sarcasm. He nodded, seemingly satisfied despite the tone. Emma turned again, eyes finally locking on you. They’re a pretty honey color slightly darker than her hair. 

“EEE! Oh my god! It’s so good to see you!” She squeals, rushing over to hug you. The sudden physical affection catches you off guard. You hope she doesn’t feel how sweaty you are. “Hey~ I thought you were going to be late?!” You respond, giving a gentle squeeze back before slipping from her grip. You continue with a smile, “It’s great to see you too. Thanks for meeting up with me today.” 

She smiles back. She has a pretty smile that crinkles her nose and shows off her straight, white teeth. She’s as beautiful as you recalled from the party, despite your memory being hazy. As you admire the features of the woman in front of you, you feel a prickling on the back of your neck. That feeling when you know someone is watching you and you feel the world zoom in on the space around you. 

Your eyes dart up and land on the figure still seated on the bike. His stance unnaturally still. Despite the visor still blocking your view, you knew those were the eyes boring into you. You smiled awkwardly and offered a small wave to the figure sizing you up. He made no move to respond. Emma registered the situation and turned back to face Mikey. “You can go now.” In a tone so icy you almost forgot you were in the armpit of summer. 

“I’m gonna have Draken pick me up so don’t worry about hanging around.” With that she waved him off dismissively. There was a beat before her words registered and the biker’s head snapped forward, nodding sharply before revving his engine. You felt the reverberation in your bones. Then, in a bolt of jet black, he was gone. Your eyes lingered in the space where he’d been. 

“Sorry about him. He’s not good with new people.” Emma says, shaking her head and holding the door open. You step into the massive cafe, the cold air a welcome embrace. “It’s all good. Was he at the party the other night too?” You ask, eyes surveying the crowded room for an open table. “Nah, he had to work late. He’s also not much of a party person, believe it or not.” She says, lacing the end of her statement with sarcasm. “What?! No way!” You feign surprise. She shoulder bumps you playfully as the two of you make your way up to the second floor. You like her already.

Your mind replays their interactions from before and the dynamic wasn’t giving that of a romantic relationship. “So, how do you know him?” You ask, your eyes turning to the pretty blonde. “Oh! He’s my brother, Mikey!” She said with a hearty laugh. “Sorry! I should've introduced you!” She apologizes.  “It’s all good! He seemed like he had somewhere to be.” Your offer. She rolled her eyes, “He’s always rushing off somewhere, I’m surprised I was able to catch him today to give me a ride.” You look around the second floor for an open table to no avail. You say a prayer to a certain green mermaid that there will be seats on the third floor. 

“That’s brutal though. Working late on a Friday night and having to rush around on a Sunday.” Your homebody shudders at the thought of working on the weekends. “Yeah, well he’s too much of a busybody to sit around doing nothing. I don’t think he’s been relaxed since we were kids.” Her gaze drifts and you get the sense that conversation has reached its end. 

“Anyways, the party was a lot of fun! How do you know Yuuki?” you ask, changing the subject. “Oh, he’s actually friends with my boyfriend Draken and, I guess, acquaintances with Mikey.” The word acquaintances seemed to be doing some heavy lifting and the nosy side of you wanted to know more, but you locked onto the juicier topic.“Oh~ Boyfriend.” You tease. Of course a girl as pretty as Emma would be taken. “Does he have any single friends? Any cute ones? Could he hook me up?” You continue. 

She laughs, “Not many I think he would vouch for, but I can let him know there is an interested party.” Score! In more ways than one, there is an open window seat calling your name on the third floor. You set your bags down to claim the space. You sink into the plush seats to test them out, heavenly. She returns your question, “How about you, how do you know Yuuki?” 

“We were friends in university, we had some classes together. Actually, I was surprised to hear from him when I moved to the city. You know, we haven’t really talked since graduation. I don’t even know how he knew I moved here to be honest...” You say with a dry laugh. 

Come to think of it, you hadn’t questioned when his message slid into your DMs. Welcoming you to Tokyo and inviting you to his house party. Truthfully, you thought he might’ve been shooting his shot. He’s cute and the two of you had a little will-they-won't-they that never played out in university. But his complete dismissal of you at the party had been signal enough. 

“Either way, he used to throw ragers at his place back on campus and it seems like he’s perfected the craft here.” As you continue, Emma’s eyes drift out the large floor to ceiling windows and a scowl flashes across her face, too quick for you to notice. She whips her phone out under the low table and skillful fingers fly across the screen, stabbing out a message that is delivered before you end your sentence. If you listened closely, the sound of a bike might’ve been heard over the ambience of the crowded cafe.

You’re pulled out of your reverie by Emma, clapping her hands as she stands from her seat, sparkles in her eyes. “If you’re looking for a good party you found the right girl. I’m actually working as a promoter right now. If you ever want to go out, shoot me a message. I’ll put your name on the list!” A wide smile stretching across her face. “Only if you promise you’ll be there with me.” You counter, flashing your best puppy dog eyes. “It’s a deal.” She winks, “Let’s get our coffee before the line gets any longer.” You rise from your seat, the promise of caffeine is an attractive one and the two of you make your way to the counter. 

***

Coffee had been perfect. What nerves you had about meeting Emma had melted in her warm aura. She was walking sunshine. The afternoon had been filled with laughs and knee slaps, It had felt like home. Before you knew it, the day had gotten away from you. With a promise of coffee next Sunday, the two of you made your exits. 

Another biker pulled up in front of the cafe. His build is slightly taller than Mikey’s. His bike was cool and looked more retro from what limited knowledge you had. Emma practically glowed as she skipped to the man. Wrapping her arms around him. He pulled off his helmet as he steadied his bike, balancing the woman embracing him. 

His features are severe and strikingly handsome. He has a muscular and imposing build. His bleached hair is cut into a kind of shaggy mohawk. The hair on the top of his head is longer and braided while the sides are shaved to the scalp. You notice he has a large tattoo that curls behind his ear and goes down his neck. Between his physique, the bike, the ink, he might’ve looked scary if he didn’t look like he was about to melt. His eyes were soft and locked on the woman in his arms. What you wouldn’t give to have someone look at you like that. Especially if it was a guy who looked like him.

You exchanged a brief introduction and he gave you a firm handshake, his expression unreadable when facing you. You said your goodbyes and watched as the two of them rode off. You had a nostalgic feeling lingering in your chest. Happiness from the day mixed with something else. Is it loneliness? You couldn’t quite place it as you made your way back to your apartment, the heat getting the better of you. The cicadas were beginning their nightly choir as you neared your door. You had noticed many things that day that played in a loop in your mind. 

The way Emma’s hair shimmered like gold when it caught the sunlight, the way the thrum of people in the cafe had made the top of your drink shimmer with vibration, the new spider web woven into the nook between the station sign and the wall near your exit, even now how the sky was streaked with magenta and tangerine hues as the sun dipped below the horizon. 

You’d always find yourself drawn to bright, shiny things. Not daring a glance to the shadows that creep along the periferie. What you can’t see can hurt you. That's a hard lesson. One you were bound to learn sooner or later. It was too late to change the trajectory as your door closed securely behind you. Everything was already in motion and, without realizing it, you’d been tugged into the current. Nothing would’ve changed, but if you had turned and glanced at the shadows, you might’ve seen the black silhouette of a biker in stark contrast to the vibrant summer world.

[mothbart]

Favorite fanfiction(s) at the moment? Thanks!! :)

ayo let me....let me share...also im gonna be so fr most of these people are my friends so! let me be biased!

blue lock:

as it goes by cityboys (rin/bachira. truly one of my favorite fics, i've reread it so many times)

the marauders:

get him back by @sixlane (jegulus, incredible james potter, lane really just gets every character down perfectly)

before sunrise by @angel-daydreams (jegulus, cyborg au??? AMAZING)

making ghosts by @itsjaywalkers (jegulus. this is hands down one of my favorite fics by laurie, like making ghosts is something i think about 24/7. ghost hunters au)

light as a ghost (on my mind you weigh the most) by @static-radio-ao3 (jegulus. don't even get me started how much i think about this fic it's ofc more ghost hunters but mil just knows exactly how to tug on heart strings)

god is real (he was sleeping in my bed last night) by @regscupid (jegulus. TRULY a fucking banger fic god jegulus porn what else could you possibly want)

inertia by @licnheartedd (jegulus. kit has put so much of their heart and soul into this fic and it's so obvious. i will never get over how talented they are, like i could write an essay on how incredible their writing is)

we'll be just fine (even when i lose my mind) by @spacexcowgirl (jegulus. my rosie posie wrote this fic and i adored it amazing wonderful but also so is rose so)

ecliptic by @magswrite (jegulus. I AM ECLIPTIC'S BIGGEST FAN AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT TITLE AWAY FROM ME)

cherry bomb! @honeybcj (bartylily. i hope mack knows how much i think about this fic. i will never move on from it actually)

kick drum heart by @theapocryphaofantares (jegulus. THE FIC THAT INTRODUCED ME TO KOLOWV AKA MY BEST FRIEND love him love this fic just love all around)

winterlude by @otrtbs (jegulus. if you have not read winterlude you are truly missing out because the dynamic between jegulus in this fic is one of my faves i think about it often!!!)

jamie doesn't know by @transsexualpriest (bartylily. i am selfishly putting this here because drac was so kind to write this for me for my birthday and i still read it from time to time)

you've got me down on my knees (it's getting harder to breathe) by @messymoony (t4t jegulus. lookin' for some great t4t jeggy?? dw mar's got you)

turn your back on mother nature by @poetskings (jegulus. STORM CHASERS???? amazing. i think about this fic so often too, si killed me with this one actually)

jjk:

built your walls around me by alkhale (itafushi)

here be dragons by kwiewi (tojikuna. sammy writes literally the best tojikuna, every fic is a fucking masterpiece but also sammy is just an incredible writer. i'll never get enough of it)

here and where you are by cityboys (itafushi. can u tell i love cityboys)

愛のある場所; river of light (that brings me to you) by cosmichorrour (satosugu. this fic has made me cry a million times with each read. it's so beautifully well done)

coanda effect by bunniehoney (satosugu. idk jack shit about f1 but when i tell you that the author did such an amazing job explaining everything, you'll feel like a pro reading it.)

[bonitanightmxres]

Pinky Promise || JOEL MILLER

PAIRING: Joel Miller x wife!reader (non-outbreak au)

SYNOPSIS: After a long night at work, joel's long-kept secret comes to light.

WARNINGS: mentions of having kids, slight suggestiveness, slight allusions to smut, & that’s it i think

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

The job wasn’t supposed to last all night, but in order to prevent his crew running behind schedule, Joel took the matter into his own hands to ensure that a sufficient job was done. He felt good about it, knowing that at the end of the night, they would be a little ahead if tomorrow’s work went well. But he hadn’t realized the time until he climbed into his truck, ready to go home. You’d been taking care of your neighbor Anna’s daughter for the week while she was gone for work, which meant that both you and Joel were getting to know firsthand what it meant to take care of a little baby. And last night, boy did the baby fever overwhelm him in the greatest way. 

You’d had trouble putting Ellie to sleep, and it was getting late, so Joel stepped in. He carried her, walking around the house. Having a one-sided conversation with a baby who wasn’t even a year old yet turned out to be his favorite part. He whispered to Ellie, telling her how much she made him want to be a dad. He’d thought about having kids with you all the time, how wonderful you’d be as a mother, and how much he ached to be a dad. It was stuff he dreamt about at night, but was too afraid to say anything. Joel made Ellie pinky promise not to tell you, and he wrapped his pinky with her little one.  What Joel didn’t know was that you were right behind the wall of the kitchen, watching him as he prepared another bottle for her, and that you heard every bit of it.

Tonight, Joel selfishly hoped that Ellie had been giving you a hard time and wouldn’t fall asleep, just so he could do it again. Before she left, Anna swore up and down that by the time you both were done taking care of Ellie, you’d never want to have a kid, but Joel wasn’t so convinced. Sure, it was probably just the baby fever talking and there was hell of a lot more to taking care of a baby than he knew, but Joel wanted to find out. He wanted all the ups and downs, the scraped knees, the crying, everything. 

By the time he parked in the driveway, it was well-past one in the morning, even though he sped all the way home, and his heart dropped a little when the house was quiet, except for the quiet chatter of the television coming from your bedroom. When he opened the door to your bedroom, his heart sank even more when there was no sign of Ellie at all–her toys, bottles, and crib were all gone. He figured Anna must have come by, it was the most logical explanation, though he expected to have Ellie for the rest of the week. 

The remote to the TV was still in your hand, and you fell asleep sitting up slightly in a position that was sure to make your neck hurt in the morning. The window was open, letting in cool air, but you still wrapped yourself in a blanket. Joel chuckled at the sight before him as he changed into comfortable clothing–you clearly fought to stay awake and wait for him, but after a long few days with Ellie, Joel imagined that sleeping sounded a lot better than staying up. Joel gently fixed your position so that you laid in the bed properly with your head against the pillow, took the remote, and climbed into bed next to you. There was something so innocent, so peaceful about the way you slept that he almost felt bad when you stirred in your sleep when he leaned over and kissed your forehead to let you know he was home.

The warmth of his lips on your head was like a signal for the rest of your body to respond to his touch. Turning your body to face his side of the bed, you extended your arm out to feel him, your hand landing on his shoulder and slowly sliding it up to his face.

“You’re home.” Your eyes are still closed, but your voice was deep and raspy as your thumb rubbed his growing beard. “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry, darlin’,” Joel brought your hand to his lips and kissed it, “Sorry for bein’ so late.”

His smile was the first thing you saw when you fluttered your eyes open for the first time that night. Even underneath the dull glow of the television, he still managed to look ruggedly handsome. “You want something to eat? There’s leftovers I can heat up for you if you wa-” 

You don’t even let him answer before you’re trying to get out from under the covers. He pulls you back into bed, wrapping an arm around you so that your head is tucked away on his shoulder. “No, no. I’m fine. I’d rather lay here with you.” 

Joel is holding something back, you can tell. “But?” 

“Nothin’, nothin’,” he reassures you, but you know something is up. “So, uh, w-where’s Ellie?”

“Anna came back early, so she picked up Ellie this afternoon.” 

“Oh.” 

You giggle, turning your head to read his face. “What do you mean ‘oh’? Why do you think the house is all quiet?”

He shrugged. “I-I just, I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if the house wasn’t quiet all the time, would it?”

“You mean like…” 

“Who am I kiddin’?” Joel got up, sighing as he propped himself up with his elbow so that his head was above yours. He looked lovingly onto you, searching for any reason he could think of to not have kids with you, but his mind went blank. “Darlin’, you would make the most amazing mother. Seeing you with Ellie, it just proved to me what I’ve already known for a long time.” 

You giggled, “Aww, the baby fever got to you bad, didn’t it?”

“Wouldn’t it be nice, though?” Joel said with a growing smile as he thought about the idea. “A little one runnin’ around with her mama’s looks–”

“--And her daddy’s damned stubbornness.” You raised an eyebrow at him, and Joel laughed, knowing how much you called him out over his stubborn nature. 

“I know we’ve only talked about it a few times since we got married, but I ain’t gettin’ any younger, and I–”

“Joel, baby,” you grazed your hand over the back of his neck and pulled him down for a sweet kiss. “If you wanted to be a daddy so bad, all you had to do was say so.” 

He chuckled, “C’mon, you can’t tell me you don’t wanna be a parent. I’ve overheard your conversations with Anna, and lemme tell you, the things you talk about with that woman are borderline insane.” 

“Oh really?” Catching Joel off guard, you’re able to knock him onto the bed, flat on his back and hover over him. “Well, I happen to know that you’re dying to be a dad.” 

“Oh yeah? And how would you know that?” Joel pulled your legs so that they were on either side of his waist.

You answer him with another sweet kiss, though your lips linger on his for a lot longer than the first one and Joel can feel the heat spread throughout his body.

“Let’s just say that Ellie isn’t very good at keeping pinky promises.”

A wave of realization rushes over him, and he chuckles, shaking his head, before leaning up and kissing you feverishly, like there’s no tomorrow. And what begins as a passionate and heated love between you and Joel, ends up being a newborn baby girl nine months later.

---

@angelic-dreams13

a/n: ASHJFDKHSNFLK pls i can't😭

[crabdrabbles]

Hiii Crab so happy to see you write outside of our rants/idea chats and my fellow delulu cod enjoyer! Would love to request Platonic!141 + Reader (sorry if this is long and somewhat confusing lol). You can do headcanons, drabble or whatever you comfy for. An idea that popped in my head kinda semi personal: Civ or 141! Reader though has parents and family is the reader is quite something else. Reader despite having somewhat normal upbringing still feel empty; they shouldn't be feeling this numb and empty deep inside of them. The reader craves the love that they give but couldn't or lack of receiving it back, though they don’t expect it or selfishly want it. Just someone who understands them even in their deepest darkest secret or flaw then boom cue the task force 141 unexpected yet welcoming to their life and maybe the one that the Reader can lean and let them be vulnerable on (finally).  

Take your time on doing this Looking for to your other writing genuinely -Cee, your fellow Soap delulu

GN!Reader & 141 (Mostly Price)

Warnings: Slight angst Ships: None. A/N: This absolutely ran away from me and I do not at all regret it, hope you enjoy, Cee!!! Words: 3549

Almost your entire life had been a cycle of self doubt that also started to churn and twist into self-hatred. You blamed yourself for the feelings. Afterall, you had a relatively normal upbringing. Two parents who were both present in your life, both of whom worked so that you all had food on the table and a roof over your head. A luxury that very few had.

The least you could do for them is follow the path that they wanted to put you on, no matter how much you didn’t want to do it. Because you loved them. 

So you excelled in your education, studying hard to try and impress your parents– to make them love you just as much as you loved them for everything that they did for you for your entire life. They wanted you to do all three sciences despite the additional workload it would add to your already stretched thin time? Then you would do them, take any extra classes after school in order to keep up with the work and not lag behind any of your peers. 

There was no such thing as a social life, either, not when you had homework and projects due. Friends were few and far between. Generally, most people left when they realised how hyper focused you were on your grades instead of social interaction. 

Did a classmate get a higher grade than you on a test? Well obviously you didn’t study hard enough, you just needed to dedicate more time to school even though school was all you had.

Did you get the highest marks in the class? Good, that was what was expected of you. Why didn’t you get full marks? You were better than that. You would do better because you loved your family. They showed it in their own way, of course, by encouraging you to study harder and get better grades. That was their love language, and yours was doing as they asked without a second thought. Because, at the end of the day, you were lucky to have an upbringing like you had. You would ignore the hollow void clawing at your chest because you had no right to feel that way– not when you had a roof over your head and parents that loved you(?).

It was when you came top of the class with full marks in a recent test, you came home with a beaming smile on your face and proudly showed the test to your parents. They took the papers from your hands, flipping through your work with critical eyes, before handing the papers back to you. 

‘Well done, we’re so proud of you.’ That was all you wanted them to say to you. That was all you needed to hear. To know that they loved you. 

‘Your penmanship is terrible.’ Was what you got instead. When you tried to point at the big 100% in green pen, you were waved away. ‘How are you expected to get a job when you write like a child? I’m surprised the teacher could even read your answers’. 

After several years of balancing a work and educational life and paving a way for a line of work that you didn’t want for parents you should have been grateful to have, you decided that enough was enough. 

No matter how hard you worked, no matter how high your marks were, they would never be proud of you. They would never return the love that you had for them until you nearly killed yourself trying. 

Spending your entire childhood, teenagehood and all of your current adulthood trying to please your parents predictably would damage one’s psyche. You had no friends, family who had never been devoted to you as you were to them, and high grades serving as the foundations to a prison-like future.

You dropped out of University. The only option forward that you saw was joining the army in the vain hope that the empty feeling inside of you would dissipate when you actually did something that you believed was more worthwhile than any University course. 

So you threw yourself into the military, working harder than all of the other recruits and training at every chance you could.

Your skills and determination became widely recognised amongst your peers. It took several years, but you eventually caught the eye of none other than Captain John Price. 

Impressed by your willpower that not many soldiers possessed, he offered you a place on the 141. 

Naturally, you agreed. You believed that being part of such a well renowned and respected team would finally beat back the lingering self doubt and emptiness that had curled itself around your heart.

It didn’t. If anything, it made it worse.

You were invited to join the 141, sure, but they had already established their own relationships between each other, had already bonded into a close knit group, and you were simply an outsider. Yes, you had been hand picked by Price himself, but that didn’t mean you were part of the team. They had their own inside jokes that they told to one another, leaving you feeling left out on most days.

And you felt… lacking around them. Ghost was stronger, Gaz was faster, Soap was smarter (he was a demolitions expert for crying out loud!), and Price was almost all of those rolled into one. They all complimented each other as a team. Meanwhile you felt like a spare tyre, a master of nothing and barely a jack of any trade. 

Despite how you felt about it all, they all called you ‘kid’. Regardless of age gaps between yourself and the rest of them, the nickname stuck mostly because you were the newbie. It came as a surprise that it wasn’t spat with vitriol as your peers before had, but it was in fact said with… an affection you couldn’t quite place.

You couldn’t ignore the hole in your chest that had been chipped at over the years, forming a gaping maw that no reassurances could really mend. 

Doubt lingered in the back of your mind, chipping away at your sanity as you prepared for the worst. How long would it take before they realised you weren’t good enough? 

You were so deep in your doubts that you didn’t realise that you had been distancing yourself even more than before until you overheard a conversation in Price’s office a few months down the line.

“-- they don’t belong on the team.” Gaz said as you passed Price’s office and your heart dropped. It was only the tailend of what he had been saying but you had gotten the gist. You wanted to stay, to listen to the conversation more and listen to what your team had to say about you, but you didn’t. What you were going to hear were likely things you had already told yourself right from the start. You keep walking on, ignoring the sting of tears burning in the corners of your eyes. The blood rushing in your ears prevented you from heating the rest of the conversation. 

“-- not only are they acting like they don’t belong on the team, but they’re acting like they’re not good enough.” Gaz continued, sighing in frustration.

“Maybe they need more time.” Ghost rumbled in reply, “Let them come out of their shell a little bit. Best not rush these things.” He was talking from experience, after all.

“Aye… maybe I can invite them out for drinks or sommat? I wouldn’t want them getting transferred before we got to know them a little more.” Soap had been the one that had tried the hardest to get close to you but had also tried to give you space so as to not suffocate you with his personality. 

“They won’t be getting transferred.” Price said with conviction, tapping his desk, “I chose them to be part of this team and this is where they’re going to stay. Let me have a word with them first.”

“Aye, sir.”

— — — — — —

You found yourself in the smoker’s shelter outside the main building. It was late enough that most of the soldiers had gone to bed or off to do their own things elsewhere so you doubted that you would be bothered for a little while. Just enough time for you to get your thoughts together. Your tears had dried in your eyes a few minutes ago, making them sting in the cold air. You didn’t need to look in your reflection to know that you probably looked like a wreck– entirely unbecoming of a soldier of your apparent status. 

You didn’t want to get transferred. Despite your distance with the 141, you didn’t hate them. Far from, actually, you held a great deal of respect for each and every one of them. It was just that you felt like you didn’t have your place amongst them. Not good enough to be associated with them. 

“Bit late to be out here in the cold, chuck.” A voice startled you out of your thoughts– one that you would recognise anywhere from the low rasp of a smoker's lungs. 

“Captain.” You croaked, wincing at the patheticness in your voice. There was a scuff of boots as Price came closer, leaning into your line of vision with a furrowed brow which only furrowed more as he took in your dishevelled appearance.

“Something on your mind?” He asked kindly, perching on the arm of the bench to give you some personal space. He left his question open, allowing you any chance to steer the conversation how you wanted to. There was no judgement for catching you at your lowest, no disgust at your red rimmed eyes— just polite understanding and a non verbal offer of pleasant company. 

“Why did you pick me, Captain?”

The question made him tilt his head, a frown beginning to tug on his features. You were worried you had insulted him.

“What brought this on, huh? Someone say something to you? Need me to have a word with them?” He straightened his back, scowling. Whilst you felt like you didn’t have a place in the 141, you could never deny the shield of protectiveness that Price held over his team. You remember in the back of your mind the day that some General who thought he was hot shit had the audacity to undermine Soap as nothing more than a ‘yappy dog’ when offered the Scot’s demolitions expertise. Price had appeared almost out of thin air and almost ripped the General a new one and things would have escalated into a fist fight had Laswell not intervened. It wasn’t as though Price didn’t think his own soldiers were capable of defending themselves, but he couldn’t care less about punishments aimed his own way over that of his Sergeants and Lieutenant. It was just a surprise that the protective streak extended over you, too, despite your distance to your teammates.

“I’ll sound stupid.” You mumbled, looking down at the ground as if expecting him to chastise you like a child. He didn’t.

“I’ve had my fair share of stupid over the years. Try me.”

“... and ungrateful.”

“I once had a guy punch me in the face two seconds after I took a bullet that would have killed him.” Price countered with a cut off chuckle once he remembered what was probably a mission long finished and cleared his throat. “C’mon, tell Captain what’s on your mind.”

And he sounded so sincere when he said it. Sounded like he genuinely wanted to hear what was going on in your head– that he was willing to waste what was already his important and limited time on someone like you. 

“Sir—”

“John.” Price corrected gently, crows feet more noticeable at the corners of his eyes scrunched up when he smiled, “We’re off duty, you don’t need to be so formal.”

“... John.” You echoed, finding that you really didn’t like saying that. It felt like calling your teacher by their first name in primary school or a classmate’s parent other than their last name. 

“Now, c’mon, tell me what’s on your mind. Might not be a therapist, but I’m better than bottling it up.” You wondered in the back of your mind how often Price did this. Sat with his soldiers and talked with them, offered them a listening ear to hear their vents and fears. You couldn’t help but feel honoured to be one of the few he willingly offered said time to. Your silence stretched on as you thought of the words to say, how to phrase what you wanted to say without sounding unappreciative of the opportunity that Price had offered you when he requested you join his team. 

“I don’t feel like I belong here.” You blurted once the silence had stretched on for long enough to border on uncomfortable. John’s face fell and you quickly realised how bad that sounded and rushed to correct yourself.

“No, no, wait, let me explain–” the Captain closed his mouth to allow you to continue speaking, but you could tell that it was hard for him. “I just… you could have anyone better than me, you know? I’m not a demolition expert. I’m… I’m not the best Sniper. I’m the slowest on the team, pretty sure I’m the weakest–”

“Nope.” Price interrupted, finally breaking the bubble of your personal space as he took a proper seat next to you on the bench but still respecting the distance enough to keep a few inches between you. “Nope, not lettin’ you say another word.”

“But–” 

“Nope.”

“Cap–”

“No.”

“But you could have anyone better—“

“But they wouldn’t be you.” He deflected easily. Far too easily. He leant back on the bench, crossing one leg over the other as he folded his arms over his chest. His fingers twitched and you could tell he was itching for a cigar but didn’t light one out of respect. 

“Alright, sure, I can ask Laswell to give me one of the best soldiers in the SAS and have them brought here tomorrow. They could be the best of the best, top of their class, better than you and maybe even better than me. But that’s a bit of a stretch.” He winked and earned a weak chuckle from you. “But they won’t be you. I don’t pick just on skill alone, kid, I pick based on how I feel people would fit into the team. I chose you because I knew that you’d be perfect.”

“As for not being a demolitions expert, let  me let you in on a little secret. I’ve no fucking clue about demolitions, either. And you don’t have to be on the team to be the ‘best Sniper’. You’re better than most, and that’s what’s important. As for being the weakest– did you or did you not bodily lift Gaz in a fireman’s carry during training the other week while he was trying to act as an injured civilian? Quite dramatically, might I add. Swooned and everything.”

You remembered that practice mission. Quite fondly, actually. Gaz was a civilian and , after being struck by a foam bullet from Soap, had dramatically screamed in agony and crumpled to the floor. When you had lifted him up and over your shoulders, the bastard continued to wail something along the lines of telling his non-existent spouse that he loved them and that his money be given to his equally non-existent children. Soap got in another shot to the man’s head, knocking off his cap in the process. Distracted as you were trying to haul your teammate out of the danger zone, you couldn’t help but laugh thinking about it now. 

“Last time I checked, Gaz is somewhat heavier than a sack of flour. Don’t tell him I said that, I’ll hurt his feelings.” Price was right, you supposed. You were more than capable of carrying Gaz over your shoulders, maybe even Soap or Price himself if the time called for it. Ghost you weren’t so sure about, though. The man was a walking mountain. 

“What I’m trying to say is that you have to give yourself more credit. You’re more than good enough to be on my team. I chose you for a reason.”

You… did not expect that sort of reassurance from Price. You had hoped for something along those lines, yes, but perhaps with a thrown in criticism or three. You waited for a ‘but’ that never came. The man snorted beside you and when you gave him a quizzical look, he waved off your concern.

“Shit, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think the next thing out of your mouth would be that your parents never hugged you as a kid.”

Your silence made him slowly turn his head towards you. It would have almost been comical if the situation wasn’t. His face crumbled and a wounded sound emerged from his throat.

“Sometimes they did!” You rushed to defend the people that raised you. “And they gave me food and shelter, clothes when I needed them–”

“Fucking hell. No, that’s what they’re supposed to do because they’re your parents. What about telling you that they were proud of you? That they loved you? I saw your records. Top of your class in not just your training but in your education, too. Triple sciences, mathematics, all of it. They had to be proud of you for that? My parents would have killed for me to get even a passing grade in my GCSEs.” You looked down at the ground and it was Price’s turn to have his eyes fixed on you. 

“They were proud of you, weren’t they?” He asked again, leaning forwards so he could catch your eye, his own filled with concern. “Kid?”

“I don’t talk to them much anymore.” 

Price inhaled sharply and he leaned back again, looking around and clenching his jaw as if fighting back his anger. His fingers twitched again. You admired his self control as he was still yet to grab a cigar that you knew he kept on his person. Usually in his breast pocket while his lighter was in his right pocket.

“Listen to me.” The Captain said, a more stern edge to his voice now that he had gathered his thoughts together. “Whatever your family said to you— how they treated you? Forget it. They showed you obligation. Not love. They didn’t want what was ‘best’ for you, they wanted bragging rights. What you’ve achieved– here, in bootcamp, in university and in school, is something to take pride in– no, no, look at me.”

Your gaze had trailed to the side so you avoided looking at your Captain in the eyes. He noticed and clicked his fingers to gain your attention back on him.

“Don’t look away from me because I want you to listen to what I’m gonna say and I want you to look at my face as I say it.” Your eyes met his blue ones, “You should be proud of everything that you’ve achieved in your life. I’m sorry that your family never told you that and I’m sorry that I haven’t said that enough to you since you joined 141.”

You opened your mouth to say something– to argue or disagree but he shook his head.

“No. It’s my turn to speak now. I’m proud of you. I am so proud of you. Everything you’ve done and everything that you’re yet to do, I will always be proud of you. You’re an exemplary soldier and I knew the moment I saw you that you would be a perfect addition to the 141 and you have proved me right time and time again. You belong on this team just as much as the rest of the boys. Do you understand?”

So many words– proud, proud, proud. That’s all you had wanted to hear for so many years from someone whose opinion mattered to you. You wanted to be seen and Price, this godsend of a man, had seen you and more.

“Kid, do you understand me?”

You nodded once and then realised that Price wouldn’t have been able to tell through your shaking. Tears blurred in the corners of your eyes and you nodded again, not trusting your voice in case it shattered. 

“What do you need from me?” Price’s voice was oh so soft, like he was talking to a frightened fawn. He could see how much his words had affected you and it clearly broke his own heart.

“A hug.” Your bottom lip wobbled and his face softened as he opened his arms, twitching his fingers to urge you closer.

“I can do that.” 

You leaned into him and he quickly wrapped his arms around you, drawing you in close. You could smell the lingering scent of his last cigar. The smell of his office and cleaning oil. You felt his chin on the top of your head and felt how his chest rumbled as he spoke.

“You’re part of the 141 whether you like it or not, alright? Me and the boys want you here for as long as you want to be.”

At that moment, for the first time in your life. You felt wanted. You felt appreciated and you felt seen.

have a request? send one in!

[theodorecanaryhood]

The Arkham Knight chapters

Part 1

Planning a new series with my man Jason Todd from Arkhamverse.

Arkham Knight / Red Hood / Jason Todd x Male Reader

18+

The Neon Light hit your eyes as you yawned, sleep fighting with you as you tried to force yourself to stay awake a bit longer.

Sleep was hard to come by lately as there was always something keeping you up at night, but the passing nights you would’ve been able to fall asleep with ease, had it not been for you being awake so long you grew adapt to it.

‘More coffee darling?’ Shelly, the waitress asked you.

You nodded as she refilled your cup, maybe caffeine would be enough to keep you going.

You saw a guy in a red hoodie sitting in the end booth. Looked as if he was smoking.

Guess he didn’t realise it’s illegal to smoke inside buildings nowadays. I mean, it’s 2015, it’s been about 20 years since the law was changed.

Spotting a man in uniform approaching the smoking man, that’s when you were surely wide awake.

Chaos broke out in seconds and there was screaming, gunshots, people tumbling into each other and the furniture surrounding.

You ducked and hid safely under the table as you witnessed Shelly and Darla, another waitress, fall lifelessly to the floor.

The terror in their open eyes, blood coming from their bodies. You covered your mouth in the hopes no one would hear you.

Silence filled the diner for a few seconds that felt like hours, then a final gunshot. The police officer shot himself after causing bloodshed and chaos.

You sat knees to chest for a while before you found the courage to move again, slowly crawling out from under the table.

Seeing the bodies laying on the ground, not knowing whether or not anyone was alive but also not wanting to make any noise, mostly in case someone bad was still there.

Just an innocent kid in a diner that night, simply wrong place at the wrong time.

The sleepless nights that followed were caused by the faces of the dead. Those who fell that night.

Gotham City was on lockdown as the crazed Scarecrow and this Arkham Knight character tried to take over the city.

It wasn’t long until you found yourself armed with guns and weapons to defend yourself, being one of the unlucky few who didn’t make it to transport away quick enough.

It also wasn’t long until you found yourself stranded in the streets, trying to get to safety.

You gasped as you shot around to see the Arkham Knight behind you, you panicked a little as he placed his finger up, signalling for you to stay quiet.

‘Find anyone?’ A militia member called out, the Knight turned his head slightly to call back.

‘That’s a negative’ he responded as he disappeared from your view.

‘The fuck?’ You mumbled a little, confused as to why you were so lucky to have gotten away that easily.

He had a chance to grab you but he didn’t, why? Everyone else had been gunned down or abducted. What made you special?

Batman saved the City and was unmasked for everyone to see, you couldn’t say you were too surprised it was Bruce Wayne under the mask.

It made sense with all the expensive gadgets he uses, only fair a rich guy was under the influence of the Dark Knight.

Then suddenly, as quick as it started, it was over and you were back home. Your house seemed so empty and different.

Your parents were lucky and got away, they were also very reluctant to come back. They made it clear they wouldn’t yet.

No time to tell how long it would be as they decided to flee the States all together, selfishly leaving you where you were. But then, not the first time they’d done that to you.

As quick as the flash could run, your night marked the rest of your life. The diner Neon lights were bright again.

The diner seemed so strange after that night, you could still remember where Shelly and Darla lay. In fact, your foot could reach the spot from where you sat.

‘More coffee sweetie?’ Angela smiled, sadly as you nodded.

You didn’t come to stay awake anymore, you came to try to forget what had happened.

It was no use, the more you sat in the diner the more you remembered the carnage from last year.

You strolled down the streets of Gotham, trying to forget the hell you’d seen until you bumped into trouble.

‘Oh look here, a little boy is lost’ a thug called out with a smile, pulling out his baton.

‘Just trying to make my way home’ you responded, half assed as the thugs approached you.

Weapons ready to make contact with your skin, your body waiting for bruises as you sighed.

A figure appeared with a red Helmet on, guns in his hands already.

‘The fuck is this clown?’ Another thug asked, amusement in his voice.

‘Don’t even talk to me about clowns’ Red Hood growled, pulling his guns up at the ready.

6 against 1 seemed too much but Red Hood pulled it off, knocking 4 down with ease and little to no effort. Taking no damage.

Red Hood turned to witness you, his eyes widened under his mask.

You were lifted off the ground and held over a thugs shoulder, you swung your leg round the thugs neck and wrestled him to the floor.

Doing a backflip as you took the last thug out with a swift kick in the jaw.

Red Hood stared at you in disbelief as he’d never seen someone take care of themselves, he’d never thought he would not have to save someone completely.

‘What?’ You asked, Red Hood continued staring as he cleared his throat.

‘Where’d you learn to fight like that?’ He asked, you shrugged.

‘Last year after the lockdown, I learnt to fight to protect myself’ you replied as Red Hood nodded.

It has been sometime and you were not just there to help Red Hood as a partner or a sidekick, but you were also there to be his friend.

‘Jason, you need to be more careful’ you said as Jason stripped from his shirt.

‘Do you care that much y/n?’ He asked you, pants dropping to his ankles.

You bit your lip at the sight, Jason had been there before as a friend but he was playing with your mind.

‘Yes’ you replied, Jason smirked as he walked a little closer to you.

‘Why?’ He asked, looking deep into your eyes.

It marked the new chapter to you two, Jason took you in his arms and showed you a different side of him. Made you feel things that you’d never experienced.

2016 was a year that changed, but to now in 2024, so much time had passed by.

You still thought about those long nights from nine years ago, the night you spent in the Diner when you changed.

Jason had told you everything, he was Robin, the second one to Batman. He got taken by the Joker and everything that followed.

He was the man in the Red Hoodie that night when your life started to turn dark, he was the Arkham Knight. That was the reason he saved you that night in the alley.

It wasn’t only time that changed but Jason too, he became more comfortable with his skin, he got tattoos to fill his body. Some covered his scars, some didn’t. He grew his hair out a bit and grew a beard to make himself look better.

‘How’s this look?’ Jason asked you, walking into your shared bedroom.

‘Great, then you look good in anything’ you wink, Jason smiled as he blushed a little.

Jason rubbed oil in his beard as he hummed quietly to himself, spraying himself with cologne as he placed his wedding ring back on his finger.

It had been a while, a function for Wayne Enterprises in loving memory of Bruce. Lucius Fox wanted it to be special, he wanted all of the Wayne’s there.

Dick, Jason, you, Tim and Barbara all standing waiting for the function, welcoming guests as you acknowledged the fact you’d never met Bruce.

Jason never spoke about him much, but when he did he had a hint of sadness in his voice. Jason’s eyes watered a little from the pictures up of Bruce.

‘You wanna head out of here?’ You asked Jason as he nodded sadly, asking for you to wait as he said goodbye to people.

The front doors to your home opened as you walked in, Jason grabbed you by the throat as he shut the door.

He bent down a little to greet your lips with his, he kissed you aggressively as you panted into the kiss. Heat rushing down to your groin as you felt yourself standing up.

Jason lent himself into your thigh, pressing his length into you.

‘I don’t want to do anything right now, apart from fucking the shit out of you’ Jason growled as he stripped your clothes off.

Jason stripped his off next as you both stood in the hallway. Jason wrapped an arm around your waist, lifting you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist, arms around his neck.

Your naked bodies pressed together as your lips connected and locked together, Jason carried you through to the nearest room and held you against the wall.

‘Fuck, Jason’ you gasped as Jason forced his way in, no lube or spit, just went in raw.

‘Fuck’ you cried out as Jason pounded into you dry, sinking his teeth into your neck.

You couldn’t lie it wasn’t comfortable with Jason in dry, but you could just happily take it where you were.

Jason thrusted into you as you remained held onto him, climbing him like a tree. Jason’s muscles flexed as he felt himself getting harder and harder.

‘You still wanna walk?’ Jason asked as he took you to the bedroom.

Throwing you in the bed, lubing himself up as he slid back inside you, you on all fours as Jason pounded away. His hips slamming, balls clapping, dick dripping.

Jason dug his nails into your ass cheeks as the ricochet of his force made your ass ripple. Jason threw his head back, he clenched his teeth as he sped up even more.

‘Oh God Jason, fuck me, fuck me’ you nearly screamed as Jason hammered into you.

Jason smiled, loving it when you lose yourself and just don’t care about the noise levels.

‘Turn around’ Jason said as he rolled you over and slid back inside.

You held onto his back as Jason slowly stroked inside you, your dick got harder and harder and Jason made you gasp.

‘Right there, there, please don’t…right there’ you struggled to speak.

Jason smiled a little as he witnessed you coming undone as he made you come while hands free. You nor Jason needed to touch you or stoke your length to get the seed to spill.

‘Goddamn’ Jason said as he watched your seed spill out of your head, spilling all over your stomach.

‘Fuck, fuck’ Jason yelled as he pulled out and jerked himself off onto your chest.

Taking a few breaths to catch himself, Jason then went lower in the bed to lap up yours and his spilled seed all over you.

Jason’s tongue left trails on your skin, his teeth marked your neck again. His lips on yours.

‘Let me know when you’re hard again’ Jason whispered in your ear.

You held Jason closer to you as the two of you suck into a deep kiss. A kiss that tasted like sex, a kiss mixed with what Jason had licked off of you.

A few minutes went by and you were getting hard again, Jason hummed as you pushed Jason down so he lay on his back.

You sink down onto his hard length again as you lifted your hips slightly, Jason held onto your waist as you began to bounce a bit quicker.

‘Y/n, you’re so fucking tight. God, you’re so fucking hot’ Jason panted as he let you take control.

You bounced up and down as you ran your hand down Jason’s body, he interlocked his fingers with yours on one hand while the other hand ran down your body.

‘This feels so good’ you called out as you sped up and jerked yourself off.

‘Fuck, fuck, baby you’re gonna make me come if you keep that up’ Jason smiled as you continued doing what you were doing.

‘Uh, Jason’ you called out as you could tell he was getting closer, his grip got tighter as his muscles flexed again.

‘Fuck, I’m gonna come’ Jason called out as he shot inside you.

You slowed the pace down and only stopped when you were sure Jason had emptied himself inside you.

You continued jerking yourself until you spilled on Jason’s chest and neck, him smiling as he held your hand. Running his hand up and down your body.

Jason’s eyes burned into your skin as he admired the view, sitting up and giving you a quick kiss as you wiped some come from Jason’s neck and licked it off your hand.

Jason threw you back over onto your back as he bit your pec a little, growling into it.

‘Let’s take a shower’ Jason smiled as he rushed to turn the shower head on.

Cleaning each other off in the hot water, kissing every now and then and feeling yourselves getting hit and hard again.

Nights when Jason wanted to forget something was always like this, he just wanted sex and unlimited physical contact.

Jason used sex to show he truly loved you unconditionally, but also treated sex like therapy. He wanted to forget a bad memory or distract himself from feeling like shit.

You accepted every inch of Jason, physical and emotional. And he the same for you.

Nights like this ended with you buried under Jason, or held in his arms all night. Jason sleeping heavily as his body pressed against you. Holding you with him.

[presidentbungus]

spy had a long string of accidents leading up to his departure. coming home bruised and bleeding, or with police lights on his tail. men showing up at the house at night. maybe scout's ma sees spy teaching her boys what to do if they think they're being followed and something just breaks in her heart a little bit

spy's flaky, and dangerous, and as much as he seems to try he's still the man she sits at home next to the phone worried sick over when he mysteriously disappears every few weeks. one time he vanishes for three months--three--a few days after the birth of his son, his son, and when he has the nerve to show up at three AM begging for forgiveness (and waking up all her boys while he's at it), she snaps. there's an ultimatum: give up the job, or leave, because she loves spy to death but she ain't gonna lose her children for him. spy tells her it's all he knows how to do.

she tells him she loves him, more than anyone else she's ever loved. she just can't trust him

when the sun rises the next morning spy is gone and it's almost like he was never there at all, and she supposes he made his choice, didn't he. selfishly she imagines him crawling back in a few weeks, tail tucked between his legs, apologizing profusely--i thought i could make it without you but I couldn't, and I'm sorry, and I just want to live with you and be with you and grow the fuck up and

but he never does. obviously he never does, and it's probably for the best, and it crushes her. and she knows it's probably not true, but she can't help but think that maybe it was like she always feared; disposable, fleeting, nothing. she has no way of knowing that spy is spending every day in bunkers and ballrooms thinking about her and regretting leaving, or maybe regretting her in the first place--for letting his guard down, for getting attached like he swore he never would. it was the best thing he's ever done but now he gets to know he'll never have it again. and, really, the worst part of it all is he knows he probably could, if he set aside some of his pride and gave up on the unforgiving work that leaves him less fulfilled every day anyway, but he also knows he won’t. he just won’t, and there’s a thousand reasons, but it’s impossible to put into words and at the end of the day he knows the only thing that’s stopping him is just himself.

he’s horrible. they both know he’s horrible and they both wish so desperately he could change that—that he was willing to change that.

and when he starts work at a backwater mercenary company in the worst part of the united states for—well, even he isn’t really sure, but he sees scout for the first time and suddenly he knows. it’s just so obvious.

and suddenly, he is entirely unwilling to distance himself any further from what very well may be his last chance for redemption—so he doesn’t run, which surprises even himself, after so long. but the more he desperately looks inside for anything whatsoever the more he realizes he is entirely unwilling to approach the man that, more obvious by the way, he left of his own volition a little over two decades ago.

he knows this strange limbo, this block of figurative amber, can’t last forever. he hopes.

so he waits. and he waits. and he waits.

[minimujina]

ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇʟᴘ

scara drabble turned emotional, not clickbait🔥had to put a readmore cause it got long, i didnt fkn plan this

thinking violently about taking care of scara’s wounds even though he’s not human and they’re literally going to fix themselves (let’s just. go with that. since idk how his body actually works LMFAOO). and he doesn’t even have the heart to tell you the first time you see him lightly injured—he tries to, really, but he can hardly get a word in with how firmly you insist on patching him up. he can’t find it in himself to interject with the real reason he’d be fine without your help, because good god you’re just so stubborn—and normally he wouldn’t give a lick about something as trivial as the feelings of a sentimental human, but there’s a part of him that finds it.. sweet, the way you care so much. even though it’s actually for no reason. even though this “purpose” you’ve found—following him around to take care of him when he gets hurt—is actually pointless in a way. even though he could spare both you and him extra work by telling you.

he just cant find it in himself to be the one to deflate you. he could deflate anyone, anyone at all—but not you. never you. somehow, you’re special. there is something about you that makes insults catch in his throat and ugly comments die before they even become a wisp of a thought.

your earnest gaze as you rush for him when his porcelain skin has been blemished—that, in particular, feels strangely familiar to him, but he does not know why. and your unabashed naivety irks him in a way, but it’s also one of the sole reasons he could not possibly ruin the moments between you two where you are touching him so gently and so lovingly, the only sounds being being the rustling of bandages and the chirping of insects, his leg bouncing violently and stomach playing jumprope at the feeling of your soft fingers ghosting over his artificial skin and his artificial wounds. your palms are sweaty as you work and your breathing is a bit loud, but he could not possibly care about anything less. things that would piss him off if done by anyone else—existing, for example, or any of the former mentioned “imperfections”—could pass very easily if the person was you.

and then there’s the selfish part of him, the part that can’t tell you because he would then be forced to forfeit those special moments of intimacy he had not experienced the likes of since his first breath of life. he wants you so selfishly; he sees no reason to squish your good, false faith while losing you in the process. that’s just a lose-lose scenario. what would he gain in return—a real relationship? pah. with relationships come suffering, and the fact that it is all entirely out of his control makes his empty chest convulse a bit.

he figured it’s alright to live a little white, harmless lie. it meant he could be close to you, it meant he could keep you around without being blatantly obvious about his affection (read: he could beat around the bush for as long as possible). he could avoid his feelings while still reaping the benefit of your presence.

but oh, trust me, it will certainly bite him in the ass eventually. he can’t run forever. you’ll get tired; you’ll think he’s sick of you. that he hates you. that he doesn’t want you around—he doesn’t need you.

and it’s true, actually, that he doesn’t need you.

however, there is a point to be made about relationships out of need versus relationships out of choice.

wouldn’t it be such a beautiful thing for him to finally stop pretending he only has you around because of necessity? if he makes it known that no, this is a choice that i am making—i am choosing to love you—his chest will be left wide open in all its empty glory, where there is no heart, but instead a vulnerable child. he’d be left with nothing but the hope that you will respond with grace, and that terrifies him.

and no, he is certainly not sick of you, nor does he hate you. he wants nothing more than you, than your presence. he wants everything to do with you. he wants you more than anything he’s ever wanted in his miserable, pathetic life, if it could even be called a life.

but does he need you? no.

and you know what’s so fascinating? he has not needed you all this time, and yet he’s kept you around. isn’t that interesting?

he chose you from the beginning with the guise of necessity. he pretended that it was because he needed it, needed you, needed your help—because somehow the idea that it was a choice made entirely of his own volition, for literally no reason other than he liked you, is absolutely mortifying. the last time he made such a choice, it destroyed him.

how is he supposed to justify keeping you around if he doesn’t even have a reason for it other than the butterflies in his artificial stomach? how can he justify it with his mere feelings?

his feelings make him weak. his feelings are the reason he was cast away in the first place.

it’s so much easier to pretend he’s detached. but detachment means he will only ever feel your artificial touch on his artificial skin, and nothing more. your well-intentioned hands on his fake skin, on his fake wounds. the porcelain cracks are spreading quickly, and he will do nothing about it.

the saddest part about all of it is the fact that he thinks he has to justify his feelings to anyone at all. he does not know what it means to do anything without immediately thinking about how to explain it should someone question him.

what he needs is not you. what he needs is to stop treating you like you’re a ghost from his past who will echo the aches and pains of all the people who hurt him. he can choose you in his mind, but if he holds you at an arm’s distance and does nothing about that choice, it will then mean nothing.

what he needs is to stop wishing he could have you without exposing himself in the process.

if he is to have you, he will be vulnerable with you. there is no choice in that matter. but what he does not understand is that such vulnerability is not dangerous if it’s you he’s with.

so that’s the one thing that you can do to help him—you must not only tell him, but show him, that you are not going to leave him at the drop of a hat if he is anything more than apathetic. that’s it. your only job will be to show him you are safe. that’s all you can do.

and then you must wait for him to believe you.

it’s not your job to fix him. and he can’t sit around and wait for someone to be his savior, the yin to his yang, the angel who will purify his sin. you cannot be any of that. nobody can.

but what you can be is his safe place, his heart, his joy, his lover. you can be—you are—the only one who is able to receive his angst and transform it into understanding. you can choose to love him, not because you need him, but because you want him, amidst all of his angst and suffering.

so that’s his job—realizing it’s possible that you could ever choose him, not of need, but of want, despite everything about him that is less than desirable. despite how difficult it will be. he already knows he’s chosen you, that’s not the hard part—he doesn’t have difficulty believing the lovability of others. the hard part is believing the lovability of himself.

and even when he finally accepts that you want him, even after he tells you the reason he does not need you to fix his injuries, you are still there to lovingly wrap a cloth around his fake, weeping skin.

he does not need you, and yet you remain, because you’ve made your choice—it doesn’t matter whether he needs you or not. he will have you because you chose to give yourself to him.

you will take care of his body not because you need to, but because you want to. you will love him simply because you can.

it’ll take him some time to understand that, but he’ll get there, i promise. please do be patient.