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ancientgoddessofegypt · 1 year ago

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Astrology Observations Pt.4

Long time no see everyone :) i have a few astro observations i wanna share so lets get to it

Lilith/Mars individuals carry an unspoken confidence that ignites a fire in the eyes of other people and can make others fall in love with them. Their self expression comes in through the form of bravery and letting the world see their raw truth unfiltered, not giving a damn about what others think. This makes for strong attraction and they have a hard time getting people off of them, and i mean this in two ways: one way being that others have 'feelings' for them 'down there' *wink wink* causing them to show a deep sexual attraction to them whether they are uncomfortable with it or not. their unconscious thoughts will be shown to the lilith mars person with seemingly lil to no effort. they wont know why they just know it feels good (or embarasing/harboring a lot of guilt) however these lilith babes are about exploring parts of ourselves that we mask and no judgement zones are a necessity when in their spaces. the other way is others will be triggered by them due to the octrasized lililith/mars person embracing their freedom and living their truth no matter what. all in all, both fall under secret (or not so secret) admiration.

Lilith/Pluto are the powerhouses of being who they are and when they want to be it. Literally octrasize by people all their lives and wen through lots of trauma. the way they express their power is through their traumas and taking back what was stolen. People have a hard time looking to them as real people because of their auras they possess. their sexuality/sensual energy is unmatched and is hard to tame. at some point they know when to let go and let this energy in them grow. if it makes people go crazy then so be it. naturally hypnotizing i cannot tell you how bad this cause you could definitely give away something to them and all they did was look you in the eye with a smile. Their natural aroma scares others but also perplexes them. its like damn are you a witch? maybe, maybe not. its just so much deeper than that. a personal message for them is being aware of yourself and the world around you is gift. People that dont know themselves will look up to you in the long run, you are the underdogs of your generations and you're healing a lot of wounds that most people will never face because they do not like what they see in the dark. You like your freedom and do not care what others think, you make your own rules because thats what we're meant to do. Be humans who create our own paths for ourselves and move to the beat of our own drum. Dont take what people say too close to the heart, youre mirroring back the shadows they hate in themselves.

Venus/Mercury has a gift of gab. Highly inspirational and their words connect you to the divine. The heart space opens up when they express their truth through the power of words, the use of their hands and the beauty of their minds. A rare placement since its only in conjunction and sextile. Not too many people have this one. Venus/Mercury babes channel from a source that connects them to the power of love, and when you speak you touch people and we fall in love with you all over again. If you have a voice please sing, speak, share with us your gift of light. Thats what you're called to do. If you are a writer share your stories with the world, your creative mind takes us back to the inner child. Enjoy it while its here!

Mars in Saggitarius. Go. GETTERS!!! When they want something they will not stop to get it. Their fire burns to achieve something bigger than themselves and with the right amount of optimism they will make it if they put the work in. One of the signs that mars works wonders in, because they can achieve their dreams quickly because of the excessive amount of fire in this house. Saggitarius only grows, never limits itself. The more they work hard the more good fortune comes their way. Others can get nervous around their because of their boastful confidence. Its too big.. its too wide. its too strong.. it wont fit or whatever beyonce said LMAOO thats yall. Very big egos and for a good reason. Yall get what you want when you want it. Nothing can stop them from getting what they need and mars sag babes wanting more in life is whats going to keep them moving.

Pisces Ascendant babes are the muses, the stars, the messengers, the oracle, the originators. These dreamers are capable of seeing the beyond even when the world doesnt see it yet. The world could doubt them but if they believe in themselves more they will prove to the world that all dreams are possible. Their reality is formed through subconscious thinking, so they must pay attention to what goes on in the inside of their minds because thats what controls their day to day reality the most. Shapeshifters who naturally move with the beat of the universe, their new look can be formed not just from an idea but because something new is changing in the world, and they are normally the first to get this information first. This is why some of them are trendsetters in fashion. Everything happens in spirit before it is physical, however for them the spirit and the psychical will always meet. And with their transformations it can sometimes be a message from the divine. Before anyone says its not that deep, i wanna tell you that anything with pisces is going to be that deep LMAO no other way to spin that. Their connected to the cosmos and their pineal glands connects them to other worlds we just havent tapped into yet. Its a gift. So a lot of times when they change, something in the environment changed too. All in all, pisces asc are good at picking up on other peoples energy. they can absorb others vibrations and anything around them and this can be a problem for them. Pisces asc will consistently have to connect to nature and cleanse more often than most because they can feel that sense of foggy-ness around them due to picking up on energy that is not their own. They will have to strengthen their discernment skills, level up with shields for the body and wearing certain garments/jewelery for protection because their auric fields naturally take in more than what they can handle.

5th House Plutonians are strong powerhouses in the form of creation. Their dark power is spilled out into the world of arts, giving them the nutrients they need in healing traumas or any dark thoughts thats been held in themselves for so long. Outlets that form a stage for these individuals makes for incredible perfomances that nobody will ever forget due to the way they make others feel. In this life time, they will learn to accept this power with grace because even if the way they feel performing for others makes them feel uncomfortable, someone is being triggered to feel those raw emotions that we hide in us. If they cant find an outlet for their creative expression, they will start to 'go crazy' and be more into psychotic behaviors that will make them lose touch of reality. This raw power that they have must be fed to others as we need to feel the deepness of our own bodies so that we can grow into the beings we are meant to be. Pluto in the 5th house can create an influencer who is just being themselves and the world around them is either inspired by or deeply maddens them. The gift of being yourself is their strongest attribute to society, and can be one of the ways for them to have power and establish some sort of wealth. If they never use this gift to soar into any artistic expression, the world would be missing a fine piece to the puzzle: Raw Truth. I hope this helps!

i hope yall enjoy!

#astrology #astrology thoughts #tropical astrology #astrology observations #astrology signs #astro observations #astro notes #pluto in the 5th #lilith mars #lilith astrology #venus mercury #deja's astro observations

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thedivinefish · 2 years ago

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TGIWednesday: What Granny Ruth would say in the mirror...

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After a good long pause while looking in the mirror, my mom, Granny Ruth, would say... “Perfection!” So non-typical of a Christmas Day born Capricorn. For most of us it is hard to even look long into the mirror, do mirror work or be so extreme as to look at ourselves and say “Perfection”, but that was her way of getting herself fired up for a new day. I dropped 90% of an ego many moons ago, and this is extreme to most of us because we’re always looking for that flaw in ourselves and in others. This is the 2nd anniversary of her return home to the heavenly realm and I feel her presence daily. The other day my little girlfriend was baking cookies, like my momma used to do, and I swear I caught a glimpse of Granny Ruth in the kitchen! Please accept this message with love and laughter, and as my pre-press publisher would say, “You’ll never publish perfection, but you can publish that which is great.”

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~ FEELING STRONGER EVERY DAY ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I am gathering and harnessing more energy and greater amounts of strength and resilience every day. I know, when, where, how and why to shake off any terrible yesterday and to experience a renewed sense of wonder about how today will unfold. I am ready, willing and able to help contribute to others and assist the weak and the affirmed knowing that as I support others, I strengthen myself. I am asking in all languages and throughout all timelines and so it is. Wishing that you and yours will make a little progress each and every day so that the rest of your life will be the best of your life.

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divinefishingtips · 2 years ago

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TGIWednesday: What Granny Ruth would say in the mirror...

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

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JANUARY ZOOM EVENT

What new habit, skill or result would you like to achieve to start the new year out right? Getting up earlier, exercising more, eating cleaner or ____?

What excuses do you make for why it hasn't happened or can't happen for you or for who or what is in your way? (I need more money, or a higher level of self-confidence, or more time...)

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From the Fish Box

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365dailyaffirmations · 2 years ago

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TGIWednesday: What Granny Ruth would say in the mirror...

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

FREE Live Appearances

FREE SIGN UP HERE

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

JANUARY ZOOM EVENT

What new habit, skill or result would you like to achieve to start the new year out right? Getting up earlier, exercising more, eating cleaner or ____?

What excuses do you make for why it hasn't happened or can't happen for you or for who or what is in your way? (I need more money, or a higher level of self-confidence, or more time...)

Pre-register Here - $22

*NEW* The Fish Market

Featured Audios for January 20% OFF Individually or 2-Pack automatic discount @ checkout MyBeliefWorks for Being Your Ideal Weight MyBeliefWorks for Diet, Digestion & Exercise

Healing and Grounding Mats for all occasions Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one! View Grounding Mats here Enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at Checkout for Free Shipping

**We are NOT involved in the sales or shipping process of any of these items, please contact them directly.

Buy Gift Certificates here

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key

View Full Zoom Replay Collection

From the Fish Box

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here Use Stripe for subscription Click here.

30-Days of Prayer - $99

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

MEMBERS LOGIN HERE

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

Learn About Certification Here

TGIFunny

Forward

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advancedthetapractitioner · 2 years ago

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TGIWednesday: What Granny Ruth would say in the mirror...

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

FREE Live Appearances

FREE SIGN UP HERE

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

JANUARY ZOOM EVENT

What new habit, skill or result would you like to achieve to start the new year out right? Getting up earlier, exercising more, eating cleaner or ____?

What excuses do you make for why it hasn't happened or can't happen for you or for who or what is in your way? (I need more money, or a higher level of self-confidence, or more time...)

Pre-register Here - $22

*NEW* The Fish Market

Featured Audios for January 20% OFF Individually or 2-Pack automatic discount @ checkout MyBeliefWorks for Being Your Ideal Weight MyBeliefWorks for Diet, Digestion & Exercise

Healing and Grounding Mats for all occasions Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one! View Grounding Mats here Enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at Checkout for Free Shipping

**We are NOT involved in the sales or shipping process of any of these items, please contact them directly.

Buy Gift Certificates here

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key

View Full Zoom Replay Collection

From the Fish Box

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here Use Stripe for subscription Click here.

30-Days of Prayer - $99

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

MEMBERS LOGIN HERE

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

Learn About Certification Here

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

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idklang · 4 years ago

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Happy to share my newest track Self-Optimize Pt. I The Mirror OUT NOW on ̶P̶a̶r̶k̶i̶n̶g̶S̶t̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶- BLIST <3

#music #̶P̶a̶r̶k̶i̶n̶g̶S̶t̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶#PARKINGSTONE #BLIST #IDKLANG #self-optimize #self-optimize pt. I the mirror

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joshslater · 4 years ago

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Grimsby pt. 7

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

I was speechless and touched. I was too exhausted to figure out what this meant though. Did he expect something from me now? Before I could gather myself Jace picked up his bag and started walking towards the exit.

- We should of a pint.

I wasn’t audibly breathing heavily any longer, but I could feel I was still pretty wound up. Flush, sweaty, and definitely thirsty after this shock introduction to the gentlemen’s art of self-defense. I felt a pint was too far away and I needed to drink right now, so I stood up and started to walk towards the drinking faucet. “You’ll regret it,” Jace remarked, barely looking my way. He was half right. The water tasted of metal pipes, but it felt good to splash my face with cold water and cool it down. There were empty holders of a mirror pane mounted on the well. At some point the mirror must have cracked and never been replaced. I wondered how I looked after such a beating. I cupped my hands and brought water up to dump in my hair, and was quickly reminded of how little of it I had left. I could feel trickles down my shaved sides and neck. The sound of the door closing made me realize Jace wasn’t waiting, so I rushed out of the locker room, out through the main doors, and caught up with him slowly walking back the way we came.

It didn’t take long until he deviated from the path we followed to the club. I had no idea where we were, or really where he was taking me, but it was obviously a route as well optimized as the path we took going here. Mostly road, but a few shortcuts through people’s back yards. It looked kind of familiar, but I’ve only walked around these blocks very tired, hangover, drunk and/or high. Now I could add beaten up and exhausted to that list. As we rounded a corner I saw a painted sign hanging out from the building, stating “Fawn’s Head”. I'd seen that pub at some point earlier in the week, but never been near it.

For some reason it looked deserted on the empty street, not that you could really tell about a pub with its door closed. Looks were deceiving, sure enough, because there were quite a few people scattered around inside the pub. It was decidedly not a high-brow clientele. Everywhere I looked I saw track tops, worker's high-viz clothes, and quite a few paint-spattered sweatshirts. I recognized some people from yesterday evening, though not by name. A few people glanced our way, garnering no interest.

I followed Jace over to the barman and witnessed a play in gestures. The barman gave Jace a nod. Jace gave him a nod. Then he nodded sideways towards me. Then the barman poured two lager, and placed them in front of us. Jace was clearly a regular, though I wasn’t even sure he was 18 yet. Without a word we grabbed our beers and started to empty the glass. It was the best-tasting beer I’ve had all week. Not because of the beer, but because this was the end of a hard day at the end of a hard week. Whatever part of my body didn’t hurt after hauling ice and fish, Jace had made tender, either directly by knocking me out, or with the bag punching exercises. But this was the end of...

- HEY!

Jace had turned towards the room and shouted at the top of his lungs. It instantly became dead silent.

- Is Chayse innit!

Everyone shifted their eyes onto me. What the hell was Jace doing?

- Fuck with him, fuck with me!

There was a second of tense silence in the room. I didn’t dare breathe.

- On me. Cheers!

The room erupted in loud cheers, followed by an explosion of chatter. Some guy in blue carpenter trousers and a blue sweatshirt, both splattered with hundreds of tiny white dots of paint, jumped up from his seat and grabbed the first of the new beers. As he was turning to get back to his table, he stopped as if he realized he should pay for the beer somehow, and slapped my sore shoulder.

- Connor’s the name. Why don’t you lad join our table for a wee bit?

Before I could even agree to that, he started shoving me in the direction towards the table. I pulled an extra chair and sat down with his crew of builders. Conner, Kieran, Tommy, and Callum. To my surprise their work stories about bad shoes, early mornings, lunch places, all felt relevant to me, and I had a few insights that fit into the conversation. Once I’ve emptied my beer I excused myself for a smoke, but Callum got up and told me to follow him. We walked out on the back and there was a large smokers patio with two groups in either end talking. Callum brought me to one of the groups and the others there greeted me and introduced themselves.

It turned out that none of them actually knew Jace, but they had seen him around. They themselves didn’t know each other that well either. They usually sat with their pals and then just came together outside for a smoke. As they started to move back inside, a tall, hard-looking guy from the other group walked across the patio.

- Hey come here!

He was shaved bald, wore shiny, black Puma clothes with red zippers and details, and a pair of black Dr. Martens. He clearly worked out, but even if he hadn’t his height alone was intimidating. It didn’t sound like a request either. Callum got the hint and quickly stubbed out his fag.

- See you around. - Yeah.

While he returned inside the pub the shaved guy motioned with his shiny head towards the other two who silently smoked at the other end. They looked every bit as tough as this guy. A bit older but just as muscled, one with buzzed heads and tracksuits, the other with a mohawk, adidas top, and dark blue adidas joggers. As I started to walk towards them, the shaved guy walked behind me, like he was herding me. Dammit, I’m also shaved, although not completely. I must stop thinking of myself as looking so different than them. Anyone who stumbled out into the patio would assume we four were a group. As I stopped he pushed me in the back to force me uncomfortably close to the other two. The older of the two, standing just in my face, made a deep drag, and blew a cloud of smoke in my face. I’m sure it was intended as disrespectful and intimidating, but it took all my self-discipline to not inhale it, even though I had just finished a smoke myself. He gave me a nod and spoke.

- Jace new runner innit. - I don’t know wh... - Shut the fuck.

I could feel the color draining from my face. Apparently there was a reason why they all left me alone outside with these guys. He continued.

- I don’t give a fuck what you do, but stay out of our business. If you see any of us you do as you’re told. Got it? - Yes. - Good. Now lick my balls. - What? - You heard me mate.

A wave of fatigue washed over me. I had been shaved and punched and drugged and so much more. Everything was unreal. This was not me, this was not my life. It’s just that with a pint in my hand and nice people around I slipped and forgot. Like an emotionally drained whore on her tenth fuck for the day I silently went down on my knees in front of his crotch. He patted my head on the exposed skin.

- This is what we like, lads, innit.

And then he tilted my head back up and looked me in the eyes.

- Remember your place next time we tell you to do something.

Then he let go and looked up at the others.

- Let's go for another, lads.

He dropped his smoldering fag on the ground in front of me as they left, and I hated that my first instinct was to pick it up and put it in my mouth. Who were they? What did they mean by Jace's runner? They had already left the patio by the time I got up and looked around. A group of patrons just walked into the patio and nodded in my direction. I nodded back and headed back into the pub, past them. I needed to find Jace and ask him what the guys meant. It wasn't hard to find him inside the pub, despite it filling up in the moments he had been out. He was standing next to a table close to the entrance, towering over the guy standing next to him. He probably towered over most people. The guy next to him was passionately talking to him. Jace saw me, and reached out like for a handshake.

- Oi Chayse, be a minute.

I grabbed his hand and felt something small in my hand. Jace winked at me.

- First one's free bruv.

He handed me a half-emptied pint glass and turned back to the guy. I stepped away and looked into my hand. A small, white pill. I felt both neglected and thankful at the same time. Of course he should finish whatever this is, but I felt we needed to talk right now. I took a large swig out of the glass and realized as I swallowed that I had already put the pill in my mouth. I was just running on autopilot after everything that had happened during this week.

Something was moving in my peripheral, and I turned to see a few guys at a table waving at me. I went to join them to kill time. I felt like I was losing grip of reality again, because the man who waved me to the table came back from the bar with a fresh lager and sat it down in front of me, while one of the other guys at the table was talking about their day of road maintenance. I was jolted back into the present, looking up at the man, Rob was it? He was smiling at me kindly. I thanked him and took a sip of the beer, and a shiver of pleasure went through me. It was even better tasting than the one I had earlier. The guy who was talking was detailing all the problems with one of the stores next to the road where they had laid stones during the day. He was about my age, but more tanned and crow's feet by the eyes after having been outdoor so much. No, this was Rob. His pitch-black hair was gelled up, and his face was framed on the other side by a black T-shirt with a big, yellow "Powell Construction" logo. I realized I had stopped listening to him and was lost in his grey-blue eyes, when he asked me something.

- Sorry mate, I have to piss.

At the moment I said it I realized it was actually true, and somewhat wobbly got up and headed towards the gents. They nodded and smiled. Jace wasn't standing where I had last seen him, I noted on the way to the gents, nor did I see him anywhere else. I wasn't sure I could trust my senses fully. What had he given me? Molly? It must have been part of it, as everything and everyone was lovely. I double-checked the sign on the door and entered the gents. Two sinks, two urinals, and a door to a proper toilet. As I walked by the mirrors over the sinks I turned my head, almost like a reflex, but stopped in my tracks.

I looked horrible. It wasn't the brutal hair, or the eyebrows, or the piercings, or the clothes. I looked like a criminal mug shot. My face was subtly swollen and bruised from the pummeling I've gotten from Jace an hour or two ago. There wasn't any specific thing I could point out. Just that I looked off. I didn't look like me anymore. Fascinated, almost mesmerized by my own ugliness I touched and poked my face. Nothing hurt. Not specifically anyway. I'm sure it would look better tomorrow, but it was unnerving still.

As I reached the urinal I realized I had a stiffy. I hoped the black adidas joggers had hidden it from Rob and whatever his name was, but I couldn't be sure. Well, this wasn't the place to do anything about it, so I simply aimed forward and let go, pissing straight into the wall of the urinal. Despite me swaying more than I would have liked or expected, the only thing I got on me was a fine mist of back splatter. I was clearly more intoxicated or high or whatever than I thought, so I don't know how long I stood with my dick out and forehead against the wall, just waiting for the dripping to stop. I was kind of hoping to also get soft, but had to settle for a semi.

I was pulling my joggers up when someone entered. I didn't take any notice of him until someone shouted "Hey" in my ear, and pushed me into the room with the toilet. He shoved me down on the lid facing him, and locked the door. It was one of the goons from the outside patio, the one with the mohawk, adidas top and joggers. He had a week-old beard and looked a bit tired as well. I knew I should be intimidated by him, but somehow I just felt like I wanted to hug him. I had this unexplainable urge to touch him. He glanced at the ceiling, looking for a smoke detector, then picked a cigarette and a lighter from a pocket. While looking down on me he slowly put the cigarette to his mouth and lit it, inhaled deeply, and exhaled the smoke on me. To his confusion this time I inhaled deeply as well. Not only did I want to embrace him. I wanted to french kiss him and suck the smoke out of his lungs. What the fuck was wrong with me?

He regained his composure. He was also clearly a bit drunker than before.

- I want to be fucking clear with you. When we tell you what to do, you do it. - Sound, mate.

This wasn't going how either of us had expected. My eyes kept darting between his face and the chain he had around his neck. Somehow it looked so pretty, glittering in the fluorescent tube light. Everything looked pretty. He struggled with what to do next.

- Lick it. Lick the groin.

I looked down. The loose, dark blue adidas joggers didn't reveal much, but a little bump indicated where his dick was. For some reason, I don't know why, I did as he said, leaned forward, and let my tongue run up and down the fabric. It didn't taste like much. I moved forward and licked with a bit more pressure. I could hear him inhale from the cigarette again.

- Ok, alright. I need to piss.

He grabbed me and stood me up with one arm, and unlocked the door with the other.

- Share the fag? - What?

It took him a second to realize I asked for his cigarette. His intimidation ploy had not gone the way he wanted, though I was at the same time both zen and wondering what the fuck was going on. He handed me the cigarette. I stepped out and he closed the door behind me. I finished the cigarette and threw it in the urinal.

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mochaout · 7 years ago

Text

heartsong (pt 4)

The two weeks leading up to that weekend came as if only a day had passed. My nerves were all over the place. Lena was on her way to put the finishing touches on my hair and makeup since Caleb requested I dress nice. We spoke on the phone everyday since our first conversation. His outlook on life was refreshing. He believed that life should be lived daily and on purpose. I learned he became a single parent because the mother of his son was killed shortly after his son was born. He had lived on his own since he was 18 and received the rest of an inheritance his father left him at 25. Caleb was an interesting man to me and although younger than me he was established in his life. I was still trying to find my niche and the consulting job I had paid the bills. There were times I found myself wanting to know more about him and missing his voice. My thoughts about him were becoming a distraction. However, the thing I struggled with the most was if and how I would tell him.

My heart was growing weaker day by day. Dr. Gupta told me almost a month ago that if I didn’t receive a transplant soon I would die. He gave me six months. I was more frustrated than sad. I had managed to dodge the remnants of my mother’s irresponsibility when pregnant with me for the last five years. The technical term for what I was born with is Tetralogy of Fallot which is an encompassing diagnosis for about three or four heart defects present at birth. My mother, who had battle alcoholism most of her adult life, didn’t take a break when pregnant with me. Her alcoholism caused my birth defects. My paternal grandmother always called me a miracle. Born prematurely with multiple heart surgeries made it anybody’s guess if I would survive. 32 years later I’m still here. My childhood was as normal as it could be with me not being able to play sports, the frequent doctor visits, and surgeries throughout. I battled depression, PTSD, and anxiety for years and have been in therapy most of my adult life. My constant daily reminder is the scar down my chest letting me know I’m on borrowed time. Children were removed from my dreams when I began to understand my heart could fail on any given day. The surgery bought me more time. The pacemaker was only a temporary fix. A transplant was the only way to give me my best chance of survival. With no relatives that were matches and falling at some place on a list with hundreds of others, my optimism fizzled out. I had come to terms as best I could with what lie ahead. My life is good. I’m pretty successful in my own right. My goal has always been to enjoy anything that I do to the fullest. I want to stay in the new bubble of ‘what ifs’ Caleb presented. But I’m aware there’s no escape from my reality.

The sound of the phone ringing pulled me from my thoughts. Wiping the tears from my face I placed the towel down on my bathroom counter and picked up the phone without looking.

“Hello.”

“How are you today Reign?” It was Caleb. This man literally made my heart palpitate. All this and I had only saw him once and not even in a way where you really get to see a person. The image of him in my head is probably so much different than how he really looked.

“Oh, Hi Caleb. I’m doing pretty good today. You?” He chuckled before responding to me.

“Preparing for tonight when I will have the most beautiful woman next to me. I’m thinking about how your brown eyes will look when the light touches them.” As per usual I was my speechless self. He was snatching my responses before I had a chance to formulate them.

“You still there? You ok?”, he inquired like he wasn’t aware of the affect his words had on me. It was exciting. Listening to his voice and the way he seemed to always find a way to flatter.

“Yes. I’m ok. Getting my clothes together and waiting on my friend Kaleena to come over to help with my hair.”

“That’s well Reign. Kaleena is your best friend, right?”

“Yes she’s the one I told you about that fought that boy who tried to hurt me when we were younger.”

Seemingly distracted and mumbling on the other side of the phone he took a few seconds before responding “Yes. I remember. She sounds like quite the personality.” I was thinking he didn’t even know the half.

“She is. Is there anything I need to bring tonight or I should have?” My question had been to change the subject back to us and our meeting tonight. He started to speak but then took a long pause and deep breath. I pictured him sitting down with his head tilted slightly forward, eyes closed, smile playing at the corner of his lips. His response came shortly after my mental fantasy.

“Just bring your brown eyes.” Do I even have to say it? My mind was like, Oh hunny I will bring you whatever you want. But I simply gave an “Ok”.

“Thank you for allowing me to interrupt you momentarily. I will let you get back to what you have to do. See you at your door at 8:00pm.”

“Ok. See you then.” I held the phone for a few minutes after he disconnected and looked at myself in the mirror. My body and its hourglass figure with a few handles stood naked. I didn’t think I was ugly but I’ve never felt pretty either. He kept talking about my eyes and they were just eyes to me. I mean they are the part I like the most about myself too. But there’s nothing spectacular there. Round and almond shaped with medium brown tinted pupils. The way he called me brown eyes was so affectionate. What if he didn’t like the rest of my body? I questioned in my mind while tracing my hand over the scar. This was the ugly reminder. This is why I limited the relationships I had. I never wanted anyone to get too attached. The dilemma now was what would I do if the feeling blossoming inside me grew.

“Rey? I’m coming in so I hope you not doing anything you don’t want me to see.” My Lena had made it. I gathered myself so we could get me dressed. She even relaxed to the idea that Caleb would be accompanying us to the body painting expo as well the next day. Guess I committed to Caleb but had already committed to Lena months before.

-MochaOut

#mochasstories #mochaout #heartsong

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ngop3 · 7 years ago

Link

6 Success Lessons You Need to Know to Improve Yourself It starts with self-awareness. The Oracles August 29, 2017 The path to greatness starts with a critical look in the mirror. These accomplished entrepreneurs share their best, most practical (and actionable) tips to maximize your potential.

6 Success Lessons You Need to Know to Improve Yourself 1. Quit caring and take ownership. First off, unbelievable happiness comes from a self-belief that’s not swayed by people’s opinions of you. So many people don’t do what they love because of what others say or think. They hedge and settle in life.

I don’t give a crap what people think of me. It’s incredibly important what my inner circle thinks of me, but it’s stunning how much I’ll push back if someone tries to impose their will without knowing me. Not caring takes intestinal fortitude. By 91, you’ll be stunned by how little you care.

Second, be authentic. I don’t make a good first impression with most people because I curse and have an ego. What they don’t know is I equally have humility. I’m not a snake oil salesman; I’m a good dude.

I’m not as big as I could be—in terms of followers, book sales, impact on the world—because of the way I come out of the gate with energy, bravado and a love of competition. Yet I don’t change because authenticity will always win.

Finally, the biggest obstacle to your success is a lack of optimism. So many things can prevent your success. It’s hard being an entrepreneur. That’s why 99 percent of businesses fail. Everyone thinks it’s so easy. Every day is hard. You’ve just got to persevere, no matter what.

Start creating layers upon layers of skin to survive. If you don’t have the stomach to weather the storm, you won’t be successful. Everything I don’t achieve is my fault. That’s the way it should be—no excuses.

—Gary Vaynerchuk, founder and CEO of VaynerMedia (700+ employees with more than $100 million in annual revenue), New York Times best-selling author and mentor on Planet of the Apps

2. Invest in personal growth. Albert Einstein once said, “Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.” Henry Ford said, “Anyone who stops learning is old. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.” And my message is that you can’t grow a business past your own personal growth.

Have mentors. Join masterminds. Search out your weaknesses through others, because we’re usually blind to our liabilities. For example, when I first started making money, I remember buying a Rolex and thinking I was smarter than everyone. That mentality held me back.

Seek personal growth as an opportunity to fix what’s broken within you. You don’t have to lose confidence to work on areas in your life that hold you back.

—Craig Handley, co-founder and CEO of ListenTrust; read more about Handley: Why He Trains His Employees to Quit

3. Learn or retire. Many of us think that once we’ve graduated from school or college, we’re done learning. Wrong. You must remain a student until the day you die. You must create your own syllabus for what you will learn next.

Have you ever had the feeling that you wish you could read every book in the library? Use that feeling to pick a new topic you know little about, or something you want to know more about, and be your own teacher. Do your homework, which sounds like a terrible word, but not when it's self-assigned. You can always be learning. If you’re not, your instinct for curiosity has been damaged.

If you’re no longer curious about the world or the things you don’t know well, I hope you have the means to retire.

—Roberto Orci, Hollywood super-producer and screenwriter whose movies and TV shows have grossed more than $5 billion worldwide

4. Be responsible. There was a point in my life when I felt the need to make some serious changes and take things up a level. After much introspection, I boiled it down to one insanely simple idea: If I wanted to be a more successful, responsible person, I needed to make daily decisions that a successful, responsible person would make. The immense power of this mindset hit me a few days later in an aha moment.

It was a hot Texas summer, and I was rushing out of the house. As I tried to grab a glass of ice water, a couple of ice cubes hit the floor. I could have easily walked away. The ice cubes would have melted and evaporated. No big deal leaving them, right? Wrong. It’s a huge deal.

Successful, responsible people don’t leave ice cubes on the floor. They square away the little things.

How you make small, insignificant decisions will impact every other decision in your life. It’s a value set. To take success to the next level, you must analyze your values and how you make decisions. Choose not to take the lazy way out. Stop letting yourself off the hook. Take 10 seconds and pick up the ice cubes in your life.

—Mark Bloom, a nationally recognized real estate expert and co-founder of NetWorth Realty, with more than $500 million in residential transactions in 2016

5. Think like a leader, but act like a student. You are ultimately the boss of your life. But constantly acting like the boss will not get you far with people. Seeking to learn from those around you means acting like a student.

This attitude has helped me surround myself with entrepreneurs who are making a difference. They see my willingness to learn, improve and contribute to the world. As a student, I love listening to others’ input even if it means 100 percent criticism, because over time, I’ve used others’ criticism to improve, evolve and persist.

When the criticism is unfair, instead of being crushed, I am kind to myself. I ignited a fire in myself using positive self-affirmation. I know who I am on the inside. That knowledge protects me from anyone who is simply out to attack my inner person. When you have that inner confidence coupled with an unstoppable drive, it leaves very little room for burnout.

—Sweta Patel, a startup marketing advisor and founder of Silicon Valley Startup Marketing who has consulted for more than 200 early-stage startups and high-growth companies; connect with Sweta on Facebook and Instagram

6. Allow your personal life to flourish. Maximizing your potential starts with taking care of yourself. This has been the constant theme of my life for the past decade. Maybe it comes from my personal trainer past, but every time I stop taking care of my health, my business starts to tank.

It’s not just eating healthy and exercising consistently. It’s all areas of life: mental, emotional, social, spiritual and physical. Do things as simple as scheduling a bimonthly date night with your spouse, reviewing your goals, setting the alarm to meditate or pray or even hosting a weekly game night with friends.

Allowing your personal life to flourish will undoubtedly improve your focus and optimism and enable you to push through any challenge.

—AJ Rivera, seven-figure marketing expert, business advisor, and CEO of PT Freedom; connect with AJ on Facebook and YouTube

The Oracles is an invitation-only brain trust comprising the world’s leading entrepreneurs who share their top advice and success strategies to help others grow their business, live a better life, and achieve success faster.

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