#self-destructive tendencies for the win!! on and off since 2022!!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr posted its first advertisements in May 2012 and subsequently earned $13M in revenue.
Text
i started this year off wanting to change myself in a way that would hurt me but now i realize that was a shitty thing to do. but i want to do it. again.
#random thoughts#self-destructive tendencies for the win!! on and off since 2022!!#i've been trying to convince myself i am diseased when really i am not. there is nothing wrong with me.#because it is not severe. i have not been close to death. it's fine. in fact i often do the opposite of what i want#and fail myself every single day. but i want to make myself ill on purpose because without illness what am i.#saying there is nothing wrong with you because there is nothing wrong with you does not mean there is nothing wrong with you.#there is something very wrong with me. but i always want to fix it. but i don't. so i fix it. but it's not fixing.#it's making me better and worse.#might as well project some of this onto my favorite oc clemens because. he's just like me now. languages boy. with a strange childhood#my parents weren't surgeons. my parents got divorced like kristian's. but we haven't moved to a new country because of it yet.#i say yet because it will happen. but this is unrelated to my previous complications.#I WANT TO GET BETTER.#but i really. really don't. because if i do then nobody will believe me.#i wish i could just tell someone. but then they will think i am lying to them.#for now i shall sit in my bed and stare at the ceiling#and stare at the forever closed window and close my eyes as well#and when i open them it will be 12 days later and i will be purified#i love you marina abramović
13 notes
·
View notes