#self-aware enough to know his self made 'friends' aren't alive and aren't real

[teatitty]

B-127 being significantly older than everyone else. B-127 knowing some of the older bots personally, having vague memories of what things were like Before, being surprised that the archives aren't publically available anymore, B-127 who doesn't remember his own age because it's been so long but he remembers enough to know Orion (Optimus, Optimus his name is Optimus now) and Elita are so young to be given so many burdens

B-127 is older than all his new friends. But he doesn't remember how he got to Sub Level 50. He doesn't remember what he was like Before. That building is new. What happened to the road that lead to ____? Where is ____? Was his cog taken at emergence like everyone else? Or was it taken later? Is there a reason he thrives with violence? Did he really lose his mind down there, or was he always programmed to be just a little stab happy? He doesn't know. He doesn't know.

Hey Optimus! You don't mind if I stick a little closer than usual right? There's just so much noise and colour up here haha. Has it always been this bright?

[liknws]

[ 00:43 ]

PAIRING: lee minho x reader/oc TAGS: angst, no comfort RATING: 18+, mature | WARNINGS: dark themes, depression, additional trigger warnings located under the cut will contain spoilers for the fic!

WORD COUNT: 1,182 | SUMMARY: Take away the well meant words, the songs that don't help and the smiles that aren't real… call it despair if you want, but something fake hurts more than anything.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: please be aware that this fic will contain topics that some may find extremely upsetting or triggering, such as: main character death, suicide, binge drinking, extreme depression, self harm. if i missed any, please let me know.

read on ao3

I have always loved the flowers and the birds, loved the sunlight and the clouds that drift by. I have always loved the way the leaves move in a breeze and that soft whispering sound they make, like nature loves to chatter too. Yet the tiredness that began a while ago remains like a veil over my skin, gray and cold. And as I watch the petals and the twigs that sway outside the window, there is only a creeping sorrow where there should be joy.

Words are worn, paper creased. Folded and unfolded time and time again. The words are all but illegible now but he doesn’t need the letters on the page. He memorized the letter a long time ago. He carries it with him everywhere, tucked inside the fold of his wallet, right behind your photo.

It sits like November rain on my skin, enough to chill what was once warm inside. At any other time I would’ve called a friend, asked for the warmth I needed to ward it off, just a little is enough. No longer. Now I just let it come, drop by drop and I feel like it is an ocean falling upon me instead of rain - that the grief of years I carefully suspended has all condensed right above my head into a cloud large enough to block the sun. They say it can't rain forever, that there will come a time when it must cease, that the last drop will have fallen. Thing is, I just don't care.

Funny, he thinks. The same cold November rain drizzles over his shoulders and hunched back. The shivering passed some time ago, about half a bottle ago. Amber liquid swishes as the glass rim meets chapped lips. Glass is all that his lips kiss now, anything else feels too warm and too real. He wonders when you stopped fighting against the cold, when your shivers became the normal and that the calm of a summer day became unbearable.

What I need will never come and no matter how much I look for it, I won’t find it. I wasn't born for great things, nor to find my place in the sun. I could try every day, work for what I want and need, but there are no paths to success, not from here. People talk as if I dream my way out, simply discover a version of me that only sees the opportunities and ignores the noise, the distractions and the people who only say "no" because they don't believe in themselves, so how can they believe in me? So take away the well meant words, the songs that don't help and the smiles that aren't real... call it despair if you want, but something fake hurts more than anything.

The words echo in him, resonate as if striking the last chord alive in his chest. How did he miss this? How did he miss the way your smile stopped sparkling in your eyes and the way your laugh no longer made your head fall back as if one body couldn’t contain it all. How had he missed the way your shine began to dull?

I can't recall the last time I reached out for that child-self I once was, the kid who loved sunshine and rain all the same. I started to see darkness around the lights instead of the other way around, and soon there were no more colors in my world. For so long I was okay with living in a world without color, without warmth, as long as I was with you. It wasn't a color but you brought something. Sometimes I could remember what orange felt like when your hair was that color. I remember it became my favorite color while you had it. I could remember what pink felt like after the first time I kissed you. I thought your cheeks would stay that way forever.

He was such a coward that day. He was a coward every day, he thinks. All he wanted to do was kiss you, looking at your lips everytime you spoke or laughed. Everytime he tried or convinced himself to try, he chickened out the last second. You had noticed at some point, you told him months into dating. Apparently you'd caught on and wanted to see how long it would take for him to finally kiss you and when the night was ending and he was standing very awkwardly on your doorstep you took pity on Lee Minho and kissed him first. However the next day he kissed you in the middle of the courtyard with everyone watching and it was your turn to be pink cheeked and shy.

Please, when you think of me, remember the good things. The great things. Know that you brought just a little color into my gray world. Know that your love spread warmth even when I didn't ask for it and that I will forever love you. My last day was exactly how I wanted it to go and I hope that one day you'll forgive me for using you like that.

The memory is sharp, painful. He didn't know anything you had planned. If he had he would have done everything he could think of to change your mind. To keep you next to him, to keep your hand in his. You two had done all your favorite things together, just the two of you. He should have seen it then, looking back. He should have realized that was your goodbye to him, that was your way of leaving him all your good parts, all your love. You had no idea that leaving him would take all his color too.

But mostly, I hope that you will move on. That you'll do all the things we said we would do, maybe by yourself. But I hope you do them with someone else, someone that deserves all your color and all your warmth. I hope you love again, I hope you smile again. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to stay, I'm sorry that our love wasn't enough to keep me here. I hope you forgive me for that too. I will love you forever, Minnie.

Before long the paper is soaked through from the light rain. Hand out stretched in front of him, page fluttering in the wind that has picked up as the storm rolls in. He lets the letter go, watching as the rain soaked paper flutters off into the swallowing darkness. He won't need it where he's going.

There’s only the sound of wind whistling past his ears. Rain falls on his face but he barely feels it. He hasn’t felt anything but the pain of missing you, the loss of your smile and your laugh. He wonders if this was the last thing you felt. The pleasant emptiness of nothing, of falling freely without fear of the landing. Eyes close as the darkness swallows him too.

He hopes he gets to ask you but first he’s going to kiss you.

[colgatebluemintygel]

The thoughts about their experiences with family and grief hurt on many levels. R sees that s has parents who are rich and still alive and probably feels a bit jealious and cant understand how s seems to resent it. S is self aware enough to know that outwards his family seems ideal and struggles with how he could let people know how things actually are (maybe even afraid that they wont believe him). As seen in OAO he feels that he takes up too much space and r's mom has just died so he feels guilty ab burdening him with this and r will later feel guilty ab his anger/not understanding the situation. I am shaking. I want to hug them both. (Also yes, I believe that s really craved even a smallest hint that his parents cared. He couldnt live with them but leaving didnt really make it easier bc he understood that he lost all hope of having his birth parents love.)

yes yes yes !!!! absolutely!

the difference in class and privilege absolutely factored into it as well (as mentioned in oao, remus was one of the only kids at that school not from an affluent background, and it was definitely alienating for him, especially as two of his best friends grew up amongst immeasurable wealth (i picture peter's family to be more upper middle class than upper class like s and j, but it's still different to remus's background). definitely every now and again sirius would say really out of pocket things relating to how his parents treated him, but i think once he noticed his friends reactions, he'd also immediately backtrack and try to play it off as a joke. so for the others it was tricky to get a handle of the severity of the situation, and what was true and what wasn't. i think early on, some of the other boys (i'm thinking frank etc) would have made little jokes about sirius and his rich boy problems (ie: i imagine sirius would always be sad on his birthday—he'd receive these expensive presents, but they were never be meant FOR him; they were status symbols. and they just served as a reminder that his parents don't see him for who he is, and they don't love him for who he is -> cue meltdown. and i imagine remus would be looking in on this kinda like ??? perhaps internally thinking that sirius is being a little bit ungrateful (again, gift giving has a totally different meaning in remus's family). he'd NEVER say that out loud (well. aside from their big blow out argument), but in his head he'd be like.... rich boys.......) (while also being like :-(( my poor pretty padfoot :-(( and fantasising about kissing the tears from sirius's cheeks xx (all this conflict chat makes me want 2 reiterate !! remus ADORES him. like so SO much. this whole situation was such a change from their usual dynamic, it really threw everyone for a loop))

and YES and as you say: sirius's mouth works faster than his mind a lot of the time, and he would make comments maybe about wishing his parents harm, and it absolutely sent remus reeling. their main fight occurred over something incredibly minor (it was months and months of emotional build-up on both ends), but each of these little comments were a blow to remus </3 and of course sirius was never ever trying to cause harm. he had no real way of knowing what was happening with hope, because from the outside it just looked like something had happened to remus, who was now suddenly super reserved with himself and his body and seemed to be totally caught up in self-loathing. and i think sirius resonated a lot with that (even if he was expressing it all in a completely different way).

but yes... the idea that s takes up too much space. it's sort of all he's ever known. he was never taught how to emotionally regulate himself; he was always just punished. and that link between his emotions and punishment is so embedded in his psyche that even if his birth parents aren't around anymore to punish him for his emotions, he does it himself.

SOBS poor poor babs :-((((

[simplegenius042]

[THIS REBLOG CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE CHARACTERS AND THEIR RESPECTIVE SOURCE MATERIALS]

Coming in first place for the worst character whose also one of my favorites, we've got:

The Nowhere King from Centaurworld. And I'd think that out of everyone in this list, you'd be correct. The Nowhere King himself had created an army of minotaurs and went on to start a war with his human-half, the General, while also attempting to destroy/commit genocide against the human world and Centaurworld, managing to successfully ravage the human world while destroying entire herds (including Wammawink's own), all because his human half got the life he wanted (and he was locked away for ten years in the worst solitary confinement which kind of made him crazy as the Elk). Now I don't necessarily count the General as the same entity as the NWK, he (and NWK) merely seperated from the same entity (the Elktaur), so I won't list his dubiousness.

In second and third place we've got:

2. Monika from Doki Doki Literature Club. And while yeah she did do some seriously awful shit, I will point out that there is a situational and psychological aspect to this. Yeah killing all your friends because you've been obsessing over a person not even in your reality is pretty shitty, but compared to the other characters in this list, Monika's pretty tame. There's two ways you can look at this: the first is that she (and her clubmates + the MC) are an A.I in a dating simulator, and therefore the world they live in is fake, so the harm she does is limited compared to other here, because she's not actually hurting people (just the emotional attachment we have to those characters), because she and the world she lives in with others aren't real. Now counterargument second POV is that since Monika has gained self-awareness to the point she knows she lives in a dating sim, it can be argued that she is alive, and since this self-awareness can pass onto the likes of Sayori (and presumably Yuri and Natsuki too), whether it makes them go insane like Monika or you get the golden ending and it just ends there, the others are alive enough to feel pain too, so yeah still shitty of Monika. But then comes the fact... as far as Monika had been concerned, she was the only one "alive". Self-aware and not entirely stuck to a script. She didn't know this self-awareness could pass on, and who knows how long she'd been in this state. And from what she's described about the fact when the game turns off, she's stuck in this state of torturous limbo (and considering this game probably takes hours and people do take breaks), she's been through this a lot. Still pretty selfish person, but stuck in a pretty isolating environment. And still, compared to everyone else on this list, she's pretty self-contained. Her only reality is the dating sim, and eventually she allowed herself to be deleted out of guilt and heartbreak while also rebooting the game so we could go on to play the game without her interfering (which is pretty sad, actually).

3. Alicent Hightower from House Of The Dragon. Now I've only seen Season 1, I haven't seen Season 2 yet, so I'm only going on the knowledge that I know. Also the books don't count, only the show. Alicent I'd say is the product of the environment she lives in, the historical time she is born in, the family ties she was raised by and the political views on women and their worth. So yeah, Alicent was not lucky from the start. Like she was pimped out to the king by her father at age 14 so that's already traumatic enough. I'd honestly say that she's not as bad as people make her out to be and in comparison to most others on this list. A lot that happens is out of her control, and when it's within her control, she neither has the entire story nor has any reason to disbelieve the story she's been given. Like, we can't just pretend most of the things she does is entirely her fault. Otto is the main contender in her fucked-upness. And regardless if she didn't hear or misinterpreted Viserys' last words, Otto was always going to ensure Rhaenyra wouldn't get her throne. Alicent's mistake just gave him the advantage. Is she entirely innocent? No, absolutely not... she's also not that good of a mother (which can be understood as generational trauma considering Otto doesn't teach her shit and Viserys was no help as usual). But is she consciously malicious? I disagree; she's trying to keep herself and her children alive, since Otto dumped her into this situation. I'm also going to make this very clear; Rhaenyra and Alicent are both not innocent but aren't entirely at fault for the Dance of the Dragons, as they were broken apart and used as pawns by the men they entrusted to help them and keep them safe. It's also a tragedy so that's the standard. So in other words, fuck Viserys, fuck Daemon, fuck Otto, and fuck Westeros in general. These two girls should have ran away on dragonback and eat cake across the seas. I feel bad for them and their kids. That might change in Season 2 who knows.

Now for everyone else:

4. Donna Beneviento from Resident Evil Village. Yeah she's 100% not a great person. One could argue that she is the product of Mother Miranda's experimentation and the fact she had a mental disability and trauma with Miranda taking advantage of her orphaned status could possibly mean she didn't have a choice in the matter really. Still doesn't change the fact that Donna & Angie had killed who knows how many people in her house of horrors. Plus psychologically torturing my boy Ethan and taking apart a baby is always gonna send ya to super hell.

5. Charlie Emily from Five Nights At Freddy's novels. Uh... okay? That's uh... definitely wrong LOL! Rude, insensitive and puts her friends lives in danger due to her impulses and obsessions? Yeah, sure. Like the worst things she does is breaking and entering so... That's a flaw she has, but like... I'd expect the least amount of votes on her honestly. Anyway, moving on.

5. Anton Castillo and Faith Seed from Far Cry 6 and Far Cry 5 respectively are a tie. And honestly yeah, that makes sense. Anton is a dictator of Yara utilizing slave labor and upholding fascism while grooming his teenaged son, Diego, into becoming as brutal as him (plus the fact he kills his son and himself in what is called an altruistic filicide-suicide to ensure his son doesn't experience what he went through as a child... a mercy in his eyes obviously, but one that could have been avoided if he simply trusted Dani to take Diego out of Yara and out of Libertad's hands). Faith Seed is one of Joseph's heralds (in the Henbane region) and his adopted sister (the third replacement at least). Throughout the game, Faith distributes Bliss to help Eden's Gate and keep their followers either calm or turn civilians into mindless labor workers/shock troops. Faith is also a manipulator and a liar, twisting words and people's perception of her to her advantage. While she definitely was innocent when Joseph took her in at 17 and helped transformed Rachel into Faith, she definitely isn't during the present game. She literally has Burke kill Virgil (and then himself) and almost got Whitehorse so far into the Bliss that he'd hang himself (if what the Deputy was seeing was true). Comparing whose in fact worse, I'd say Anton. He's at least aware what he's doing is evil but necessary and effective. While Faith, much like her brothers, believes in Joseph and think what they're doing is justified because the world's going to fucking end, so how wouldn't it be. But it's either one really. They both still suck.

6. Kiyotaka Ayanokoji and Ulysses from Classroom of the Elite and the Lonesome Road DLC of Fallout New Vegas. Two very traumatised individuals, however, I'd say Ulysses is worse. He's an adult male... Ayanokoji's like 15 in the most stressful highschool ever. Ayanokoji is the product of the White Room which is pretty terrible, so his suppressed emotions and manipulative tactics are results of Atsuomi's awful parenting, and the whole point of going to the ANHS is to challenge that. Meanwhile, though Ulysses has been converted to Caesar's Legion and been traumatised by the whole ordeal (plus several other things like the White Legs, Big MT, the Divide, etc), he still tried to blow up the NCR and the Legion with nuclear warheads and attempt to kill the Courier who either had unintentionally destroyed the Divide or never had done so in the first place.

7. Nobara Kugisaki from Jujutsu Kaisen. Okay, yeah she commits violence but usually it's towards people who deserve it, especially curses. She's pretty heroic.

8. Torrin from "Bad Travelling" in Love Death + Robots. Sacrificed his crew to a man eating crab? Sure. But counterargument! His crew was traitorous and were willing to let the man eating crab get to its desired destination to devour innocent people.

9. D'arce from Fear And Hunger. She should not be on the bottom of this list. I love her, but, she did commit war crimes and holy crusades for L'egarde. And Prehevil kind of fucked her up, you have to admit.

So yeah, in my opinion I think it should have been:

The Nowhere King

Anton Castillo

Faith Seed

Ulysses

Donna Beneviento

Monika

Alicent Hightower

D'arce

Torrin

Kiyotaka Ayanokoji

Charlie Emily

Nobara Kugisaki

Which of my Favourite Fictional Characters Is the Worst One?

Tagged by @icecutioner and @voidika

I'm just catching up on tag games that I'd been tagged in. There'll be one more today.

I'd also like to hear your thoughts on why you think any of the characters above that you think is the worse are in fact the worst out of the lot; whether in the comments or the tags in reblogs. Not mandatory of course.

Tagging @inafieldofdaisies @shellibisshe @socially-awkward-skeleton @derelictheretic @shallow-gravy @direwombat @strangefable @rhettsabbott @josephseedismyfather @josephslittledeputy @imogenkol @cloudofbutterflies92 @skoll-sun-eater @cassietrn @carlosoliveiraa @adelaidedrubman @g0dspeeed @wrathfulrook @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @aceghosts @turbo-virgins @raresvtm @softtidesworld @starsandskies @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @florbelles @titiagls @minilev @yokobai @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @justasmolbard @alypink @thesingularityseries @nightwingshero and @noodlecupcakes + anyone else who'd like to join.

[vermillionage]

[So I just got inspired by a conversation I had with @silver-wield about this Cloud&Tifa video below I blogged 2 days ago already, how deep Cloti's connection really is displayed, and how watching it made me feel even more convinced that we totally get endgame feels for them in these various scenes comprised. The video just shows canon material and uses only original dialogue. It made me wonder if the same feelings would be evoked by a video of Cloud and Aeriths Scenes and dialogues.]

Besides English isn't my first language, please overlook grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm sorry it there are too many.

There are many opinions who belongs with whom.

Many people who covered this also and I love and respect most of their analyses on it. Not even sure if I added anything new but here are my thoughts on Clerith endgame qualities (& a bit Cloti).

I like Aerith and she is very important. I just don’t see her as the intended endgame partner for Cloud.

This is all an opinion in the end:

Don't get me wrong this relationship is heavy with feelings as well. But it's no endgame. Cloud and Tifa belong; for various reasons we all discuss daily ;). Clearith's core story is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. For me it's a tragic relationship on both sides.

Aerith sees a familiarity in Cloud, something reminding her of, & letting her hope for better days. She sees a strong person who resembles Zack so much. He is handsome and his eyes have the same quality.

She desperately wants to belong (like all of our 3 heroes) because she was alone most of her time. Zack was her first love and a friend. But he is gone. She is heartbroken. Even though she is beloved in the slums by many and has Elmyra, she still feels alone. Zack was someone she confided in. She can't tell anyone the extend of these feelings. Not in the beginning. Always trying to cover up with that flirty cheery attitude. She wants to move on...that much she has uttered to Cloud...but saying and going through such a loss actually are two different things. In OG it was more ambiguous and Aerith was much more determined on Cloud.

Remake gives us (or me)much more clarity. She seems to be aware that it all is flawed..her feelings ..his feelings. (I suppose she even was able to feel that something happened to Zack since she has a connection to the life stream. And it is heartbreaking.) While in OG that was not prominent. You can tell how much she likes Cloud still in the Remake ...but also how much she knows she doesn't belong with him. When she sees the flower in Tifa's Bar, when she sees Cloud and Tifa interact.. when she asks Cloud about Zack indirectly.

Clerith to me is like 'could have/ would have' all the time. If she wouldn't die. If Zack was still alive.. if Cloud actually would be able to connect the dots of Zack being her first love.. if Cloud regaining a glimpse of his past wasn't blocked by the barrier of his fake persona so often, always interrupting progress of remembering Zack, of remembering what happened. Would it be Clerith?

It more seems like in the Remake she is aware now (due to parallel time lines/timetravel...whatever) that her part in this story is not that of Clouds love interest. That's why we get that resolution scene with her. It is scripted that way for a reason. As well as the part where she spots the flower or tells Tifa to follow her heart at the pillar.

Maybe there is a wish in her to be with Cloud if only the circumstances were different. But they aren't and she is no egotistical monster bitch. She kind of backs away. And I love that the devs made me lean to believe this.

Cloud on the other hand also lacks/ misses out on many things:

5 years of his live, his home his family. He lived through torture if barely and severe trauma. He put up a fake persona to shield him from all this grief. He made himself that numb, that he rarely connects to any strong feelings a person would have usually.

Like people on anti depressants. Numb to the very high and the very low array. Just being indifferent. We meet him like that in the beginning of OG/R. When he meets Aerith in chapter 8 he already started to open up a bit to the Trio and Tifa, Marle and others. Meeting Tifa opened the Door. She is essentially his drive to move on ever since their childhood, same this time. But Tifa is more subtle in her approach. Her personality is warm and grounded, but she respects that Clouds needs space and is treading lightly, cautious because she seems to feel he is different than in their childhood. We get that in the rescue Johnny scene f.ex..

Aerith's overwhelmingly positive, coaxing personality contrasts this but also opens this crack in the door even wider. Like I said she is important. He is affected, he feels drawn to it/her.I am convinced he is, because he has no association with her. No past. It is light and bright and also not real. She, trying to overcompansate her sadness. Him, rarely being able to connect to his true self and feelings. He is unaware, she is though to a certain extend (like I mentioned above ) is aware.

His attraction also is spurred on because she is more fragile (Than Tifa and others)..he wants to protect. He is loyal. He wants to be strong and he wants to be acknowledged. Aerith asks for help, is clumsy and looks even helpless sometimes( Walk from the church over the roof tops f. ex.). I don’t say she is weak but her asking for help, he feels like he really is that persona he created for himself. And such feelings can turn into love quite easily. But these feelings to be as good as a Soldier 1st class, to protect and be the hero root in his true self's desire to be all that for Tifa. We can’t discard this either. He also helps Avalanche because Tifa asked.

So again..a pinch of could have/would have..it's heartbreaking.

And in the end it's a dead end for Clerith. Not only because she dies. But because he regains access to his true feelings again (lifestream scene)..and they are with Tifa.

Man~even while he has no access to them he is like a hen around its chick with Tifa.😊 Touching, watching, eye contact all the time (just watch this posts video below).

If anything, Aeriths death brought him further away from being with Tifa completely because he feels he failed yet another important person. A person he even might have loved because she was a friend. He hates this feeling and he blames himself for all the deaths, especially Aerith's. And he is so afraid to lose Tifa like that as well. That's why he keeps his distance later especially in Advent Children. Even though we have the Night under the High Wind.

Because if losing a person like Aerith, yes all lovely and sweet and bright and a friend, but if losing a person after several weeks, can do that to him, what would Tifas death do to him?

He doesn't want her, Marlene or Denzel to suffer if she sees that he has a supposedly terminal disease.

He doesn't trust himself to be really enough for her. He can't face her and leaves and has another episode of self isolation and self doubt. In his mind (?) he talks to Aerith ( and Zack is there as well,yaay) he seeks for forgiveness until he realizes he has to forgive himself first. Aerith and Zack reunited in the life stream, his friends, like his big brother and sister or like guardians watching over him, encouraging him as well to trust in himself the future and his loved ones. He sure loves Aerith, but it feels like a different kind of love from his love for Tifa. And this is fine. I would never say he doesn’t love Aerith. But it’s not in a romantic way. Maybe there was an attraction building when they met in sector 5, a curiosity. But for me his bond with Tifa overpowered this in various scenes before and after that section.

So Cloud leaves, nearly ghosting his family and Tifa, and as a fan of Cloti that was hard to watch, but seeing his reasons I came to accept and understand that he needed this.BIn the end yet again their bond is strong enough for pulling them back together again. He goes to stand with Tifa, his family his friends.

In the End Tifa welcomes him back and he finally starts to believe things will be better.

So for me there is no gravitational romantic pull between Aerith and Cloud but between Tifa and him.

This is a bit all over the place and I didn’t put in sources to prove my points because many others here in the fandom did in their analyses. I took a bit of additional intel from everyone's impressions and my own conclusions on the canon.

I just wanted to give my impression.

https://youtu.be/-Dn3SI4RVco

Visit her channel ❤

[border-spam]

Leech Lord: Quirks

Handling critique:

Troy:

He doesn't know them by name and they aren't showing respect when he turns to apprehend who just dared interrupt him rudely in front of others?

Dead. Immediately. There's no pause to hear them out or explain themself, their head will be crushed in that spined fist before he even finds out what they were about to say was criticism. There is no concern or regret over this later, he won't even care enough to remember their face.

Far more forgiving in private as he’s not needing to play up to his persona, but still - respect has to be shown.

Someone he is aware of by name/rank, or sees as having value?

Stay polite and factual and he'll listen. Hands clasped behind his back and shifting his eyes down their body as they speak, like they’re being measured, or read. He'll listen. The more numbers they can provide, the more clear data they can give that shows his information or his actions are wrong and what they are suggesting is better, the more likely he will take it on board. The God King is surprisingly polite and coldly calm when approached correctly, regardless of if he likes what he is being told.

- A close friend?

Nervous, picking at his teeth with the tips of his nails and finding it hard to meet their eyes. Hunched over himself and back bent even if he still towers over them, like a child who just wants to go hide. Stuttering. Apologetic to the point of becoming self deprecating even if what they were raising was only minor. It's not a big deal Troy, it's not, it was just some feedback. Calm down pal it's not worth getting worked up over, really. No you don't have to redo the whole thing, that's stupid come on y.. no you aren't stupid Troy, don't delete it all.. Oh, Troy.

Tyreen -

She does not hear, she does not see.

From anyone. It doesn't matter who they are. Unless you are her you're wrong, because she cannot be incorrect. She is infallible... you get it, right sweetheart?

She is omnipotent. She is a GOD. It's not that she's not listening to them, they don't mean enough for her even to be able to hear.

Seifa:

A stranger she views as someone below her in position?

Lol who are you. Who the fuck are you to think your opinion has any value, let alone matter to her? She's not even hearing what you're saying, you should be out of her presence by the time she stops eyerolling by the way, she's a busy woman. May not be healthy to waste more of her time.

Above her in authority or experience?

Silence. Not quite making eye contact, she's focusing on breaking down what you're saying and digesting useable information. A quick "Got it, I'll consider what you said" afterwards is genuine. She will consider it. That doesn't mean she will take it onboard, but she knows not to waste valuable data.

Friend?

A mix of both. She'll make it clear there's a very good chance her opinion on this is going to supersede yours, but that yours still has value for her. She might not make change changes right now based on it.. but it could affect how she approaches things in the future.

Pet Peeves:

Tyreen

A pet peeve, one she's irked by but doesn't spend a huge amount of time lost in rage over, is people treating her like she's airheaded. It happens often, especially when she's around Troy. She's not dumb. At all. Just because she's not a giant, brooding, scowling asshole who stands in silence while death-glaring everyone in the room, doesn't mean she's vacant or stupid. Just because she's louder, and more animated, doesn't mean she's ditzy.

In talks, the conversation always gets pointed to him for any discussion regarding anything with business or technical depth, she hates it. He's good at this shit, he's great with numbers and logic, but just because she communicates differently doesn't mean shes terrible. It's irritating.

Seifa:

Bullshit. She cannot abide hearing someone talk complete wank, and wants extremely direct clearcut conversation at all times bar if she's talking shit with friends. That's totally different.

She wouldn't manage to be in the same room as someone like Rhys or Katagawa for more than 5 minutes before she'd be ready to peel her own face off and eat her hands, so takes a lot of comfort from the "Please fucking kill me oh my god" gestures and grimaces Troy makes towards her from out of the speakers sight in meetings where they are dealing with the waves of verbal shite emanating from some corporate tool.

Troy:

Sleeping. It's just a fucking waste of time. It's completely pointless. Shut yourself down for hours so your body can release chemicals it needs? Fuck sake, just take the chemicals and stay awake, wow, well done, now you have 1/4 of your life back!

Dreams suck, waking up feeling like death sucks, spending hours laying awake staring at your ceiling while trying to make your "brain be quiet for once, just please.. be quiet.." for hours till you eventually pass out sucks, it's all stupid and wasteful and humans are dumb. He's dumb. Everyone's dumb.

Tenderness:

Tyreen: 

She'd see wanting it as being weak in a way, Ty doesn't need anyone for any reason, so she doesn't need intimacy or tenderness. Why would she? She's not weak, or soft. Not being able to touch others isn't even a factor here, don't you dare imply it is. Intimacy is for people who aren't strong enough to exist alone, don't insult her by thinking she'd ever want it. She watches those romcoms for the PLOT and the character development, did you see in that last episode of Skags of fire that Miguel finally got with Santia-

Seifa: Born 2 Tender (physically and monetarily)

She thrives off receiving and giving affection to close friends and partners, it's a part of herself she masks off from her general authoritative persona for a lot of reasons, people often see being caring or gentle as weak, and that's not something she can afford in day to day life.

People close to her know she's very tactile platonically, and an arm around a waist or shoulders is the norm if you're spending much time with her and she's in good spirits. She doesn't shy away from touch in general and has no problem initiating contact with anyone she trusts and is close enough with that she doesn't feel like being caring is a risk around. Intimacy and close tenderness with a partner is her main love language, and something she absolutely expects be provided to her.

Troy: Viciously envious of it

The last time he encountered freely platonic intimacy was in his childhood, both with Leda and Tyreen before Ty started to resent showing affection more and more as they got older. He's desperately, pathetically lonely and fully aware of that, even if he lies to himself that he's fine.

He can't request it from the people he sleeps with as it means showing them the real man under the persona, and he's learned that people do not like the real Troy, so he's starved of real intimacy despite having so much access to other people's bodies nightly.

Not all bad:

Troy

His intelligence.

It's one thing he can think back on and remember only ever receiving positive comments on, right from as early as he can recall. He's always been able to consider problems in a way that lets him break them down and approach them from a unique angle. Dad said he was able to "Think outside the box", but he never really understood what that meant till the twins landed on Pandora and he watched so many people run themselves into the ground when such simple solutions were right there. Maybe not moral solutions, but simple solutions regardless! He absorbs and retains information very easily without any real effort, and when he found out that wasn't the norm, it became a genuine point of pride for him. Something he was great at, unrelated to his persona.

Hips and thighs

While most of his upper body causes him physical pain or he dislikes in general for multiple uhh.. reasons, he's never had any issues with his lower body. He loves the definition of his hips and lower stomach, his knees haven't ever had any joint pain, his legs have always been toned and strong without really needing any focus on them. He's worked himself to the bone trying to fix the things about his upper body that he hates, but his legs? Nah. Nice :ok_hand:

He's really good at looking after plants

He's really good at it. Lots of people can't keep plants alive but he can :) No one knows about it, but he does. It's nice to be good at something. It's just ...nice. :)

Seifa

Her waist and stomach.

Sei is relatively curvy for her height and is very thankful for her narrow waist, or she'd look like a solid rectangle in heeled boots no matter what she wore. It helps her keep up the soft fem aesthetic she likes to mix with punk bullshit without much effort, gives her a shape in baggy engineering overalls, and keeps belt pouches ON. Like, ON on. Shit is never going to move. She has a slight soft curve to her lower stomach she used to hate, thinking it made her look overweight , but as she grew into her twenties learned to love. Other people liked it, she was just being a dumb kid.

Physical strength

Years of working with lugging heavy machinery has given her an unexpectedly solid core, and she'd have no problem lifting something, say, Troy weight, and flipping it over her low center of balance without a sweat. Which is very fun. On things that are Troy weight.

The loyalty she builds with others without trying

She's not sure what it is exactly she's been doing to prompt it, but over the last few years she's come to realise she has a genuine support network across the system of people who are very loyal to her, and are there when needed to back her up in trades, or filling positions she needs, or getting her in touch with a group she's got no foot in. People she works with or gets to know trust her and remember her even years later, it's been a nice thing to find out about herself, though she wishes she knew what exact thing about her was the source of it.

Asks are Open!

[cyancaddy]

Cleon hints in the novels

Before I read the novels by S. D. Perry, I was aware that Aeon was as canon as it gonna get for Capcom. In my opinion, the original RE2 offered nothing that could be interpreted as attraction between Claire and Leon...I still liked them together nonetheless. The obsession I have with Claire and Leon first started when I read the novels. 13 year old me was beyond ecstatic when there were actual hints towards a possible romantic relationship between Claire and Leon (which I thought was a 1000 % canon back then, it was Capcom approved after all). Since I now know the novels can be considered as very well written fanfiction, I came to the realization that Ms Perry probably shipped them too. So without further ado, I tried to collect all the Cleon hints from the novels... which are mostly from "Underworld" and "Code Veronica".

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Underworld - Chapter One

David's thoughts

Rebecca was unloading clips and repacking the weapons, Leon and Claire sitting close together across from her, not talking. Those two were usually joined at the hip, and were still as tight as they'd been since David, John, and Rebecca had picked them up just outside of Raccoon less than a month earlier, dirty and damaged and reeling from their run-in with Umbrella. David didn't think there was a romantic connection there, at least not yet; it was more likely their shared nightmare. Nearly dying together could be quite a bonding experience. As far as David knew, Leon and Claire were the only survivors of the Raccoon disaster who knew about Umbrella's T-Virus spill.

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Underworld - Chapter Two

Leon's thoughts

And what about Leon Kennedy? He'd stumbled into the fight without a clue, a cop fresh out of the academy on his way to his first day at work - which just happened to be with the Raccoon PD. There was Ada, true - but he'd known her less than half a day, and she had been killed just after admitting to him that she was some kind of an agent, sent to steal a sample of an Umbrella virus.

So I lost a job, and a possible relationship with a woman I barely knew and couldn't trust. Of course Umbrella should be stopped... but do I belong here?

He'd decided to become a cop because he wanted to help people, but he'd always figured that meant keeping the peace - busting drunk drivers, breaking up bar fights, catching crooks. Never in his wildest dreams would he have figured on being caught up in an international conspiracy, cloak-and-dagger infiltration-type stuff against a giant company that made war monsters. It was crime on a much bigger scale than he felt he was ready for...... and is that the real reason, Officer Kennedy? At exactly that moment, Claire mumbled something from her light doze, nuzzling her head against his arm before falling silent and still again - and making Leon uncomfortably aware of another facet to his involvement with the ex-S.T.A.R.S. Claire.

Claire was... she was an incredible woman. In the days after their escape from Raccoon City, they'd talked a lot about what had happened, the experiences they'd had both separately and together. At the time, it had felt like an exchange of information, filling in blanks - she'd told him about her run-in with Chief Irons and the creature she'd called Mr. X, and he'd told her all about Ada and the terrible thing that had once been William Birkin. Between them, they'd been able to come up with a continuous story, with information that was important to the fugitive team. In retrospect, though, he could see that those long, rambling conversations had been essential for another reason entirely - they'd been a way to leach out the poison of what had happened to them, like talking out a bad dream. If he'd had to keep it all inside, he thought, he might have gone crazy. In any case, the feelings he had for her now were convoluted ones - warmth, connection, dependence, respect, others that he had no name for. And that scared him, because he'd never felt so strongly about anyone before and because he wasn't sure how much of it was real and how much was just some kind of a post-traumatic stress thing.

Face it, stop bullshitting yourself. What you're really afraid of is that you're only here because she is, and you don't like what that says about you.

Leon nodded inwardly, realizing that it was the truth, the real reason behind his uncertainty. He'd always believed that want was okay, but need? He didn't like the idea of being led around by some neurotic compulsion to be close to Claire Redfield.

And what if it isn't need? Maybe it's want, and you just don't know it yet...

He scowled at his own pathetic attempts at self-analysis, deciding that maybe it would be best just to stop worrying about it so much. Whatever the reason for becoming involved, he was involved - he could kick ass with the best of them and Umbrella deserved to have their ass kicked, big time. For now, he had to pee, and then he was going to eat something and do his best to catch some sleep. Leon gently moved out from beneath Claire's warm, heavy head, doing his best not to wake her up. He slid out into the aisle, glancing around at the others.

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Underworld - Chapter Five

Claire's and Leon's conversation

"Cold?" Leon asked. Claire turned away from the window, looking at him. He'd finished with the packs, and was holding one out to her. She took it, nodding in response to his question. "Aren't you?" He shook his head, grinning. "Thermal underwear. Could have used these in Raccoon..."Claire smiled. "How could I have used them? I was running around in a pair of shorts, you at least had your uniform. "Which was covered with lizard guts before I was halfway through the sewers," he said, and she was glad to hear him at least try to joke about it.

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Underworld - Chapter 5

Claire's thougts

Leon put his hand on Claire's shoulder. "You up for this?" he asked softly, and Claire smiled inwardly, thinking of how sweet he was; she'd been thinking of asking him the same thing. In the days since Raccoon, they'd gotten pretty close- and although she wasn't positive, she'd picked up on a few signals that suggested he wouldn't mind getting closer. She still wasn't sure if that was a good idea

and now's not the time to be deciding. The sooner we get this code book, the sooner we get to Europe. To Chris.

"As up as I'm gonna be," she said, and Leon nodded, and they climbed out into the freezing night to join the others.

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Underworld - Epilogue

With David and John supporting young Rebecca, and Leon and Claire smiling at one another like lovers, the five weary soldiers trudged off the screen and out into the gently blossoming Utah morning.

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Code Veronica- Chapter Four

Leon receives Claire's message from the island and tells Chris and Barry about it

Leon had turned out to be a half decent hacker, he was in the next room on the computer; he'd hardly slept since Claire's capture, most of his time spent trying to track Umbrella's recent movements.

With both their parents dead, he and Claire had developed a close relationship, and he thought he knew her pretty well; she was smart and tough and resourceful, always had been... but she was also a college student, for Christ's sake. Unlike the rest of them, she didn't have any formal combat training. He couldn't help thinking that she'd been lucky so far, and when it came to Umbrella, luck just wasn't enough.

"Chris, get in here!"

Leon, and it sounded urgent. Chris and Barry looked at each other, Chris seeing his own worry mirrored in Barry's face, and they both stood up. His heart in his throat, Chris hurriedly led the way down the hall to where Leon was working, feeling eager and afraid at once. The young cop was standing next to the computer, his expression unreadable. "She's alive," Leon said simply. Chris hadn't even been aware of how bad things had been for him until those two words. It was like his heart had suddenly been released after being gripped hi a vise for ten days, the sense of relief as physical as it was emotional, his skin flushing with it.

Alive, she's alive...Barry clapped him on the shoulder, laughing. "Of course she is, she's a Redfield."

Chris grinned, turned his attention back to Leon and felt his smile slipping at the cop's carefully neutral expression. There was something else. Before he could ask, Leon motioned at the screen, taking a deep breath. "They've got her on an island, Chris... and there's been an accident."

Chris was leaning over the computer in a single stride. He read the brief message twice, the reality of it slow to sink in.

Infection trouble approximately 37S, 12W following attack, perps unknown. No bad guys left, I think, but stuck at the moment. Watch your back, bro, they know the city if not the street. Will try to be home soon.

Chris stood up, silently locking gazes with Leon as Barry read the message. Leon smiled, but it looked forced. "You didn't see her in Raccoon," he said. "She knows how to handle herself, Chris. And she managed to get to a computer, right?" Barry straightened up, took his cue from Leon. "That means she's not locked down," he said seriously. "And if Umbrella's got its hands full with another viral spill, they're not going to be paying attention to anything else. The important thing is that she's alive."

Chris nodded absently, mind already working on what he would need for the trip. The coordinates she'd listed put her in an incredibly isolated spot, deep in the South Atlantic, but he had an old Air Force buddy who owed him, could jet him down to Buenos Aires, maybe Capetown; he could rent a boat from there, survival gear, rope, medkit, an assload of firepower... "I'm going with you," Barry said, accurately reading his expression. They'd been friends a long time. "Me, too," Leon said. Chris shook his head. "No, absolutely not." Both men started to protest, and Chris raised his voice, talking over them.

"You saw what she said, about Umbrella homing in on me, on us," he said firmly. "That means we have to relocate, maybe one of the estates outside the city - some-one has to stay here, wait for Rebecca's team to get back, and someone else needs to scout out a new base of operations. And don't forget, Jill will be here any day now."

Barry frowned, scratched at his beard, his mouth set in a thin, tight line. "I don't like it. Going in alone is a bad idea..." "We're at a crucial phase right now, and you know it," Chris said. "Somebody's got to mind the shop, Barry, and you're the man. You've got the experience, you know all the contacts." "Fine, but at least take the kid," Barry said, gesturing toward Leon. For once, Leon didn't protest the label, only nodded, drawing himself up, shoulders back and head high.

"If you won't do it for yourself, think about Claire,"Barry continued. "What happens to her if you get your - self killed? You need a backup, somebody to pick up the ball if you fumble."Chris shook his head, immovable. "You know better, Barry, this has to be as quiet as possible. Umbrella may have already sent in a cleanup crew. One person, in and out before anyone even realizes I'm there."

Barry was still frowning, but he didn't push it. Neither did Leon, although Chris could see that he was working up to it; the cop and Claire had obviously gotten pretty close.

"I'll bring her back," Chris said, softening his tone, looking at Leon. Leon hesitated, then nodded, high color burning in his cheeks, making Chris wonder exactly how close Leon and his sister had become.

Later. I can worry about his intentions if we make it back alive... when we make it back alive, he quickly amended. If was not an option. "It's settled, then,"

Chris said. "Leon, find me a good map of the area, geographical, political, everything, you never know what might help. Also post back to Claire, just in case she gets another chance to check for mes - sages - tell her I'm on my way. Barry, I want to be pack - ing major influence, but lightweight, something I can hike in without too much trouble, maybe a Glock... you're the expert, you decide."

Both men nodded, turned away to get started, and Chris closed his eyes for just a second, quickly offering up a silent prayer.

Please, please stay safe until I get there, Claire.

It wasn't much - but then, Chris had the feeling he would be praying a lot more in the long hours to come.

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Code Veronica - Chapter nine

Steve and Claire on the plane to Antarctica, Steve’s thoughts

He looked down at her, at her tousled hair and long lashes, his heart pounding even though he was trying to relax. She moved again, shifting in her sleep, her head tilting back a little and her slightly parted lips were suddenly close enough for him to kiss, all he had to do was tip his face down a few inches, and he wanted to so bad that he actually started to do it, lowering his mouth toward hers... "Mmmm," she murmured, still totally asleep, and he stopped, pulling back, his heart beating even faster. He totally wanted to but not like that, not if she didn't want him to. He thought she did, but she'd also told him a little about her friend Leon, too, and he wasn't so sure that they were just friends. Feeling tortured, having her so close but not his, he was relieved when she rolled away from him a few seconds later.