#self promo again whoops

[wayfayrr]

🦆 anon again with another self aware ask! (I know you said you wanted me to blow up your inbox but please let me know if you need a break from my constant curiosity.)

Ok! Soooooo… in theory, how would the self aware boys get out if their game wasn’t on a console, but a pc?

While reading the part where Twilight escapes, I just kept thinking about how I don’t own a Wii. I had to download an emulator and spend an hour teaching myself how it worked before I was able to play TP.

I know it’s probably going to be the same answer as how he got out of the Wii, but the question still itched at my brain. 😅

funnily enough I have written one for this fdgvdfvdfbv

gonna take this chance to pop each of the self aware fics here (yes they're in my masterlist but there's no harm in this right? I don't do allllllll that much self promo :3c)

Sky's escape into your arms, Anniversary nostalgia, Copy and pasted (sky's trio, the first one which started it all and then some exploration of how some things after he gets out could go)

A Sickly escape (twilight's one <3 where he's been stuck for a good ol while)

By your side from day one, A little escapade (wild's main one and then where he climbs out of a screenshot)

Mask meets with his sibling (mm link getting out of an emulator)

Siblings? I'll be your sibling for real (young time!!!!)

Stardew valley (some exploration of how they could get into other games)

Self-conscious captain (personal favourite of how wars gets out)

Most of these have the same initial theme but it's explored in different ways - I really would like to start writing for some of the other parts of it too though, I've been playing with the idea of writing the link becoming aware from their pov too which could be fun if people are interested

[kookslastbutton]

Guilty Pleasures ༓ jjk, kth (m) | chapter ii

✒ Summary: Three years of being Seoul's power couple earns you nothing but a big fat divorce settlement and your face plaster on every gossip column around town. You're angry, hurt, and desperately want to move on, but worst of all? You're still in love with the man who started the whole mess, even though the most he can ever see you as is a friend. The renowned actor you've hired to be your company's new endorser seems to have a soft spot for you though. He's easy on the eyes, you'll admit, but who actually wants a divorcee like yourself? It's unrealistic really.

pairing: ex-husband ceo!jungkook x ceo!reader, actor!taehyung x ceo!reader

genre/AU: angst, smut, fluff, loverstoexesto ?, coworkers2?, unrequited love

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: oc and jk are both 30, Taehyung is 32, swearing, fighting, confrontation, tornado of emotions, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of sexism in the media and business world, public shaming (both direct and indirect), morally grey characters, mentions of toxic relationships, mentions of abandonment issues, mentions of therapy, attempts to self-regulate but reader is pissed, mentions of self-blame though oc knows its not entirely her fault, mentions of defamation charges, JK is just 🤬 while KTH is 😇

playlist: Unkiss Me, Apologize, Hate That I Love You, etc.

a/n: Woah okay....so had I fun writing this, even though it took me a hella long time to decide whether to continue the story as a series or not 🫣 Anyway I altered the summary slightly from chapter one (and updated for consistency purposes), but it doesn't change my overall plans! As you read this chapter, I hope you will be able to see my vision (I'm nervous af! haha)! Enjoy 🥰 (edited but pls forgive me for any oversights...my typos are ridiculous)

series masterlist | next >>

You’re seated in a wide sofa chair, surrounded by four blank walls, and the gentle sound of water tricking from a faux rock waterfall. Every element of the space is carefully integrated as a means to calm you. Yet it doesn't calm you in the slightest. Your hands are clammy. Muscles tense with the adrenaline spiking through your veins. It doesn’t help that you’ve been running on nothing but black coffee all week either, refusing to eat until the first promo shoot with your company’s new endorser was launched.

A natural in front of the camera, Kim Taehyung was able to speed the process up, yet it didn’t stop the massive dark circles from forming under your eyes. This morning, he'd told you they were unnoticeable but you've seen how you look in the mirror, and they're anything but unnoticeable. Still, you find his gesture to soothe sweet. Thankfully, your new partnership has been smooth sailing which is quite a blessing considering the disaster he nearly walked into.

Yes. You’re referring to that disaster in particular. When, in some desperate last-minute attempt for validation, you threw yourself into the arms of your ex-husband.

More like fixed the collar of his shirt and whoops, slid right on his dick…again.

What is wrong with you?

You’ve been asking yourself the question far too many times. You’d think being a hot-shot CEO of a million-dollar tech company would make you like titanium, resilient as finely pounded steel but no; you're just barely keeping yourself together. You regret your rash decision that day, you regret ever marrying Jeon Jungkook, and you regret ever giving in to your stupid feelings.

That’s why you’re here now, waiting in the office of your therapist’s private practice, hands restless in your lap. You’ve been seeing Melody for just over two months since your divorce was finalized, ready to move on; trying to, more like.

‘JeonX CEO Jeon Jungkook’s ex-wife compensated $1.8 billion in divorce’

‘South Korea’s Golden It couple split with ex-wife taking half the company revenue’

These are the lovely words that greet you from your phone screen.

You have the urge to grab your special red ballpoint pen from your bag and scribble out the entire paragraph, except it’s not a printed gossip magazine— it’s a newspaper column on the internet. Instead, you close out the pesky tab on your phone and reply to its sender.

Chim 🐥: can you believe this crap they’re saying about you?! It's no shit you were given a hefty divorce settlement. You brought in half the income! They’re making you look like some kind of gold digger. I swear if I ever lay my eyes on that pretty ex-husband of yours, I will end him! 😡 [sent at 5:06 pm]

Park Jimin, your childhood best friend, sends you a follow-up text when you don’t immediately reply to the news articles he forwarded over. He’s been extremely overprotective of you lately and especially pissed at how the media’s been portraying you, while Jungkook is seemingly getting a free ride. He’s always had an axe to grind with your ex-husband, to be honest, the divorce gives him only more reason to hate him.

You: Thanks for your concern Chim, but nothing they say surprises me anymore. If you don’t mind, can you stop sending these to me? [sent at 5:12 pm]

You hope your message doesn’t read as cold or dismissive. Jimin’s concern for you is a light in a dark place, but you don’t really want to be reminded of the amount of slandering articles still targeted towards you.

Gone are the days when the public saw you as a powerful woman in business, the one to watch, or the CEO of the fastest-growing startup in the last ten years. You're now simply Jeon Jungkook’s conniving ex-wife; as if you’ve merely seduced him for his money and ran when the going was good.

Of course, the whole situation is skewed to his side; half the world is in love with him after all, and that includes the few lingering reporters who've been practically salivating three feet from you at any given chance, hoping to get an exclusive “inside look”. Your marriage was a sham, you wanted to scream, a mutual business transaction.

Too bad rather than an increase in status, resources, and market share, you gained a pile of twisted, unwarranted emotions and regrets.

“I apologize for the wait Ms. __."

The door swings open as your therapist rushes into the room. She stops at her desk to retrieve last week’s session notes, then takes a seat in the chair adjacent to you with crossed legs.

“It’s okay,” you assure, straightening your posture. “I understand how crazy busy the day can get. It wasn't a long wait anyway."

Melody gives a small smile and jots a few words on her notepad. “Thank you for understanding. How are you doing this week?”

You take a deep breath. "Tired," you respond, "especially this week at work. It's like as soon as I wrap up one project, there's another jumping out from nowhere." You used to be ahead of the game. Now you're barely surviving.

"That's right," she hums. "Last week you mentioned having to attend a charity gala soon. Would you like to start there today?"

Crap, you're suddenly reminded that you have to pick up your gown by 7 pm tonight. You entertained the idea of not going to the gala at all, but that would do you no favors in the end. Given your situation, you can't skip out on such an important charity event.

"Sure," you nod. "The Winter Gala's tomorrow night, actually. It's funny how I used to look forward to it every year, being an opportunity to network and catch up with my peers. I can't say I feel the same thrill this time around."

"Because of the divorce you mean?"

"Exactly. Being the CEO of one of the largest software corporations in the world, my ex-husband's influence far exceeds my own. So whether out of loyalty or political agenda, anyone who's anyone will be on his side of the room. I'm gonna end up being that one awkward person in the corner in a far too expensive Dior gown who no one wants to dance with." You nervously chuckle out the last sentence.

Melody opens her mouth to respond, yet stops when she notices you're not quite finished.

"It'll be the first time seeing my ex-husband after months of no contact too. I guess that's what I'm looking forward to the least."

When you think about it, the most you've seen of Jungkook is his face appearing on the massive screens downtown. He's been featured in at least a dozen interviews lately, teasing a brand-new product his company's planning to release in the spring. Seems he's doing well.

"What you feel is valid Ms. __." Melody seeks to assure you. "In the past, you used to go to these events with Jungkook right? He provided you with a sense of safety, as you did for him, no doubt. I wonder if it's a lack of consistency and belonging that worries you, more than it is about seeing your ex-husband and your peers. Companionship too, of course."

"I suppose that makes sense, but it never used to be this way." Your voice raises to match your sudden argumentativeness. "I used to be very comfortable in my own skin. I used to be confident going to these events alone, long before Jungkook came into the picture."

You pause to take a breath before continuing.

"When Jungkook became CEO of his family's software company, JeonX, he was steps away from being bought out by both our competitors, so a partnership was proposed. We married at 27 as nothing more than two ambitious, rising leaders in business. Neither of us was after love or romance when our careers were at stake."

"But then that changed for you," your therapist carefully observes. "Combined, you both held the largest share of the tech market. You and Jungkook were also in an extremely intimate relationship, yet treated it as a business contract. Unfortunately, those don't always come out clean in the wash. It appears to me that while you gave him three honest years of your life, he stole those three years from you."

The words take a moment to sink in; Jungkook stole three years from you. It conflicts with what you want to believe, though from the bottom of your heart, you know she's right.

"I feel so...guilty. I hate that I fell for him, and I hate that I'm struggling this much to let him go." As you tear up, Melody hands you a tissue from the side table with an empathetic gaze. You mouth a thank you and gently dab your eyes with the soft fabric.

"I'd give yourself some grace Ms. __. But if I may ask, what about Jungkook?" she gently probes. "Do you think he feels the same?"

"No...," you say with remorse, shaking your head. "He's moved on."

Melody remains silent for as long as you need in the moments following, cautious to follow your lead. The last thing a therapist should do is rush their patient through the session, so she sits patiently and waits for your go.

"Sorry," you finally say. "We should continue."

"No need for apologies," she replies. "Take your time."

It takes a good minute or two longer of sitting in your car before you can fully compose yourself. As usual, your session with Melody was intense and insightful, but it was far too short. You're gripping the wheel with both hands when her final words of the session echo through your head: "Give yourself some grace; blaming yourself won't do any good."

Seemingly simple advice, yet tough to follow when you constantly feel responsible for the mess you're in. Yes, even though Jungkook has the bigger end of the stick, you made your share of mistakes too. You should have looked into other options when you found out your competitors were looking to buy out JeonX instead of eloping with their CEO.

Just what were you thinking __? you harshly scold yourself. You were trying to protect your company. You both were. Too bad you placed the cart in front of the horse.

Forcing yourself to take a slow, deep breath, your eyes widen in alarm when you catch the time on the clock— 6:38 pm. Fuck! The boutique that's holding your gown for tomorrow's gala is closing in twenty minutes. Without a moment to spare, you yank the seatbelt and slam your foot on the gas.

"Good evening Ms. __." A young woman, fitted in a black pencil skirt and white blouse, greets you with a faint bow as soon as you step foot into the posh boutique.

"Hello, Hana," you refer to the young lady by name with a smile. "I'm terribly sorry to be coming in this late. I came by to pick up the gown I sent in for alterations two weeks ago. The event's tomorrow and I know the shop will be closed for the day."

Knowing the exact dress you're referring to, Hana responds with a soft tone, "Please don't worry Ms. __. We have the gown ready." She disappears to the back of the shop to retrieve it.

As you wait, your mind drifts to memories of last year's gala. You had worn a vibrant, gold gown that evening, slightly risky with a low neckline. Jungkook liked it though, as he wore a matching gold vest himself. You can imagine how crazy the press went when you both set foot on the scene, arms linked and appearing to have coordinated your attire perfectly.

Every investor at the gig wanted to be your friend that night, anxiously pushing through the crowds to speak to you. One of them nearly split your dress in two, as he had accidentally stepped on your gown after one too many drinks. You recall Jungkook scolding the man before turning his full attention to you, making sure you were alright. You consider this to be the first time you truly started looking at him as your husband, a feeling of warmth blooming inside you.

How foolish you were to let that feeling grow.

You're attending the gala alone this year, without him.

Possessing no desire to call attention to yourself this year, you've chosen a rich, navy blue gown instead. It's subtle yet sophisticated. Made out of the finest silk, its silhouette is sleek and falls straight down to the floor without any extravagant frills. The neckline is simple too, paired with a tasteful open back. There are no flashy accessories or embellishments, just a straightforward, classic design. You find the gown beautifully elegant, and nowhere near as bold as your previous one.

"Here it is Ms. __," Hana chips from afar, her heels clacking against the polished floor tiles. In her hand is a generously sized garment bag, your dress flowing underneath.

"Thank you so much, Hana," you say, taking the gown from her hand. "Again, I'm sorry for my tardiness picking this up. I hope you have a wonderful night."

You leave the boutique, the sun having already set.

The Winter Gala takes place on the top floor of Seoul's most luxurious hotel, specifically in its grand ballroom. The walls are adorned with gold trim, and its floors are elegantly lined with polished black marble. Above, a magnificent glass chandelier glimmers, catching the moonlight filtering through the surrounding glass windows.

Despite being a private event, the gala attracts a whole slew of press and locals who eagerly gather on either side of the hotel's front doors, treating it as a prime spot for viewing the red carpet.

Physically, you're ready; dressed to the nines, and makeup done just right. Mentally, you're absent; secretly sipping a margarita at the end of the earth, wherever that is. The day finally comes for you to make an appearance at the Annual Winter Gala and it's clear, you're not prepared in the slightest.

Your nerves consume you as you sit in the backseat of your limousine. You protested against being dropped off at the front entrance. Hell, you hadn't even wanted to arrive in a limo. However, your PR team insisted you be seen arriving, happy to be supporting a charitable event for the eighth year in a row.

Reluctantly, you complied.

Chim 🐥: I wish I could be there with you tonight 😞 No matter what, don't let those snobs get into your head. You look stunning and you have nothing to be ashamed of! [sent at 6:23 pm]

"Thank you, love," you whisper to aloud upon reading your best friend's endearing message. Before you can craft a reply, your door is flung open, with harsh flashes of cameras blinding you. When you step out of the limo, you hear a mix of passionate cheering and interrogative remarks.

"Ms. __, could you share with us your experience of attending the gala without Jeon Jungkook by your side for the first time?"

"Ms. __, it's unexpected to see you here this year, especially considering your recent separation from your ex-husband, who is also on the guest list!"

"Ms. __, how do you plan to navigate the evening's festivities without the familiar presence of your former partner?"

Just keep walking __. If you can just get inside the building and tune out the noise, you'll be fine. You coach yourself with every step, but make little progress with the amount of discomfort only skyrocketing. Your photos are being taken, and questions barrage you from all angles. To top it off, you feel a strong migraine coming on and oh fuck— is that the devil now?

You don't have to glance back to guess the sudden increase in cheering is due to the arrival of another hot A-lister. It has to be Jungkook with a new woman by his side. You think he wouldn't bring a date to an event like this, even if she were a hire? You'd be horribly mistaken.

You fight against the urge to turn around and confirm if your suspicions are true.

"__!" a voice calls out, which you ignore.

But wait a minute.

You stop in your tracks—that's not Jungkook's voice at all; it’s far too raspy.

Peeking over your shoulder, your jaw falls open as you see Kim Taehyung steps behind you wearing a boxy grin on his face. He's dressed to the hills with a shiny maroon, Louis Vuitton suit hugging his slim waist. Quite handsome, per usual, but what is he doing here?

Taking the initiative, Taehyung strides next to you and waves to the crowd charismatically. “My movie shoot wrapped up early so I thought I’d swing by and see what all the excitement’s about,” he says.

You observe how easy it is for him to appease the crowd, a skill you’re still working to sharpen.

“Tae-” you begin.

He then turns to you and looks straight into your eyes. You shiver at from the sudden intensity.

“I got an invitation too, and the gala happens to support a cause that I find close to my heart.” His voice lowers for the next part, allowing only your ears to hear. “I also didn’t want you having to be alone this evening, __. I hope I didn’t overstep my boundaries.”

Taehyung’s words manage to coax you away from your previously frazzled state, comforting you as the chaos quiets around you.

“Thank you, Taehyung. You didn’t, don’t worry,” you reply, giving a tight-lipped smile. “It’s actually a good thing you came since you’re basically the second face of my company after all.”

“I’m happy to hear that. We’ve been working so well together recently, and I don’t want to ruin it. May I?” He offers you an arm.

“You may.” You slip your arm into his and continue towards the hotel entrance. You admit you’re glad to see him.

With Taehyung nearby, your apprehensions of the night start to subside. He’s not always beside you, slipping away to mingle often, yet his mere presence relaxes you. You haven’t even thought about Jungkook to be honest. Well, maybe a little bit.

You take a sip of the drink in your hand and casually scan the ballroom until bingo, you spot your ex-husband by the bar in the middle of half a dozen people. Figures he’s the center of attention, effortlessly tethering people to himself. Jungkook loves the spotlight, and the spotlight loves him. As you continue watching him from across the room, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions swirls within you; longing, sorrow, anger. You haven't seen him in over two months, it feels surreal.

Memories of your time together come flooding back all at once—both the good and the bad, yet mostly bad. It's strange how someone you were once so close to can suddenly feel like a stranger. You allow your gaze to linger a moment longer, curious to conclude a date is nowhere in sight. Perhaps you’re mistaken and they’ve merely slipped away for a second. You’re positive he would’ve brought someone.

Bitterly, you gulp down another sip of your drink. When you place your glass down, you nearly choke at the sight of Jungkook's dark eyes burning holes at you. You avert your gaze immediately, silently begging that he didn’t just witness you staring at him and take it as an unsolicited invitation to come over.

“So,” a provocative voice unexpectedly slides next to you. “Looks like you just traded one bachelor for the next __. I’m shocked to see you’ve shown up to our little soirée.”

Oh god, you roll your eyes, recognizing the owner of the slithery voice like the back of your hand. You do not have the stamina for this tonight.

“Kathy," you greet with the fakest, yet sweetest smile possible. "Nice seeing you again. I haven't seen you since last year. How's the baby?"

"Oh please," she scoffs. "Don't try to deflect, sweetie. We both know it's you who is of far more... intrigue. If you understand my gist."

You want to hurl at this woman's condescending tone. Nothing gets under your skin more than someone your age calling you sweetie. It's not endearing in the slightest, especially when it's Kathy Lee, Director of CommaTen. You despise each other, likely because you both hit it big in the industry at a young age. Meeting someone who reminds you so closely of yourself isn't always a blessing.

“Anyway, as I was saying," she continues, brushing her hair behind an ear. "I have quite the bone to pick with you about stealing that actor from me. Kim Taehyung was mine first, you know."

Hers? She speaks as if a person can be owned. You won't lie, you're surprised Taehyung agreed to partner with you at a time when most of Seoul's elites have turned against you. You're naive to assume that his support wouldn't backfire on his reputation. On the other hand, he's been your endorser for two months now and his following remains fully intact.

“To be frank, I didn't know the two of you were talking business at all," you respond to the accusations with composure, though burning up inside. "But of course, he's free to make his own decisions, can't he? Whatever the reason, something must have enticed him."

“You—" Offended by your insinuation that your offer was better than hers, Kathy doesn't stop what comes next. "We both know the only reason why Kim Taehyung's with you is because Jungkook left you! And you need the extra publicity, isn't that right?"

Fuck. Well, now you're really fucking embarrassed because, at that moment, everyone in the room shifts their attention your way. A pin drop could be heard in the entire ballroom since even the live band ceased their playing.

This is why you didn't want to come. Your fingers fumble with the fabric of your gown.

“Don't act like you're above me just because your company might be worth more than mine, __. We'll catch up with you soon," Kathy spits her final words before spinning around and triumphantly walking away.

Don't cry, you tell yourself. Everyone's staring at you; the press, your peers, Jungkook, and Taehyung. Don't you dare cry.

As the murmurs of conversation gradually resume around you, you force yourself to take a deep, steadying breath. Kathy's words were nothing but a feeble attempt to save her own face. Besides, what company doesn't have at least one endorser?

"Are you alright?" Taehyung's low, gentle voice catches your attention as he swiftly returns to your side, no doubt influenced after witnessing Kathy's verbal jab.

You manage a tight-lipped smile, nodding faintly as you attempt to push back the overwhelming wave of humiliation. "I will be," you reply, though the words feel hollow even to your own ears.

His gaze lingers on you for a moment longer, a silent understanding passing between you.

"I hope you don't take her words to heart, __," he mutters. "I chose to become your partner because I genuinely believe in your product. I'm selective about who I support, so please trust me when I say it wasn't because of material gain or pity."

You're on the verge of responding to his reassurance when you catch sight of your ex-husband from the corner of your eye, striding his way over to you for the first time tonight. His expression is unreadable, so you brace yourself, unsure of what to expect.

"__," he starts, his voice low but carrying an unmistakable urgency. "Can we talk?"

You and Taehyung share a quick glance before you follow Jungkook out of the ballroom, seeking privacy.

As soon as you're out of earshot, Jungkook turns to you, his features softened by a hint of concern. "Hey," he starts. "I meant to get over to you sooner but got tied up. You know how it is."

"Yeah, I know," you respond, though you'd rather he didn't come over at all, especially after being dragged into the spotlight in front of all your peers and colleagues.

The two of you share an unsettling silence before he speaks again.

"You-You look good." He allows his eyes to rake up and down your body, causing you to cross your arms in discomfort. There was a time when his gaze brought a flutter of excitement, but now, you're not so sure it brings you the same pleasure.

"I'm sorry for what happened in there," he says. "You okay?"

"What?" you repeat, your eyes wide with surprise, stunned by his unexpected apology. "Am I okay?"

Where was this concern when he handed you the divorce papers nine months ago? Or when he willingly took advantage of your vulnerability that time in your office, only to disappear afterward, as if he hadn't just torn your heart out of your chest? You clench your fists, trying to contain the rising temperature of your anger.

"Yeah, about what she said about you," he clarifies. "It was uncalled for, and I feel horrible about it." He reaches out to touch you, but you instinctively step back, as if his touch would scorch you.

"Please, don't," you sigh, a trace of weariness in your voice. "It's fine."

"I'm serious __, I can have her charged with defamation for that. It wouldn't take much!" His insistence is unwavering, and it strikes your last nerve.

"You don't need to fight my battles for me, Jungkook," you suddenly snap, voice stern. "I'm not completely helpless now that you've divorced me!"

Jungkook's expression darkens, regret flickering in his eyes. "I'm not saying you are. I'm just trying to help."

"Help?" you repeat, doubtful. "How do you think that's going to look for me in the media? Jeon Jungkook slaps another high society member with a defamation charge for ex-wife. Thanks, but no thanks. I get enough of that as is."

He sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I know they've been difficult on you recentl—"

"Difficult?" you interject, your anger bubbling to the surface. "In case you haven't noticed my face is on every gossip magazine, billboard, press release, and anything else they can use to scorn me with. It's unbearable, especially since I still have a business to run."

Jungkook winces, clearly stung by your words. "Then let me help. I'll get them removed for you. I still care about you, __."

You scoff. "You care about me? Is that why you made me sign our divorce papers three months after you found out I wanted more than a fake marriage?"

His jaw clenches, gaze dropping to the floor guiltily. "It's not like that, __. I'm not trying to be an avoidant asshole. I want you to-"

"Find someone else. Yeah, I got it," you mutter bitterly, feeling a fresh wave of hurt wash over you.

"I'm sorry, __. I am."

You stare at him, torn between resentment and a lingering ache for the connection you once shared. Now, he's apologizing?

"So am I," you say, slowly backing away from him. "You don't have to do anything, Jungkook. I'm fine."

You then turn on your heels to return to the ballroom where Taehyung still waits for you, leaving your ex-husband standing in the hallway, alone.

a/n: A much-needed confrontation between oc and jk eh? But... *laughs evilly*..this is not the end...LMK what you think! 🤔🤍

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side note: I tried tagging readers in comments but most of them didn't go through, so i'm sorry about the clutter here...😬

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[halfspunthreads-blog]

I forgot to do that whole self-promo thing again, whoops.

I've got another Jazz Fenton/John Constantine fic in the works if anybody is interested. Two chapters published, more in various stages of progress. Check out the link if you want to. This isn't a sequel to No Accounting for Taste but it does have some of the same characterization.

[lyceana]

I felt true, visceral fear today after I returned from work and discovered that my Huion monitor tablet wouldn't connect to my laptop. I knew that bitch was all powered up and screaming but blue-balling me with only pitch-black darkness.

I shut off and restarted my laptop 5 fucking times, rammed the usb cables in and out of my laptop's usb ports, in and out... I never thought that an expensive device - wasted for just watching funny cat videos and enabling me to draw the shapely but scaly butt of Voldemort - could be violated. Learned a life lesson here: any hole can be stuffed, you just need some imagination y'all.

Fuck tentacles, ugly men & weird-ass creatures with gigantic horse dicks - give me sub laptops/pcs getting dominated by their puny usb cable daddies!

I digress. So, I turned on my 2nd laptop which is on life-support - it never asked to be an accessory to producing hardcore incest material between Tom and his hot daddy Riddle sr, btw. But, like come on! What's better than one hot, mentally maladjusted Tom Riddle? Two of course! Think about the delicious angst, the hurt/comfort, the abandonment issues, the forbidden attraction, uugh...

Why are there so few tomcest (sr) fics? It's unfair, I'm fucking starving, eh. I mean, Riddle sr is the goddamn blueprint for gratuitously hot Voldemort! Where's pathetic, blushy, snot-nosed and puffy-eyed Tom Riddle sr??? The internet lied to me! I thought you only needed two hot dudes who didn't even have to meet each other to make sweet, sweet looove to each other... there's even incest and murder for extra seasoning!

I'm begging the ao3 wordsmith gods who kin Tom Riddle/Voldemort to open their hearts to Tomcest sr T_T) We all love pathetic men in tears and Voldemort would never allow himself to show such vulnerability but that's what we have his da for... Voldy could vicariously experience such a display of helplessness through Riddle sr! And tbh, I seriously need more beautiful works of art featuring my favourite basket case twink (dub-) non-con-ing his papa into some father/son bonding. I'm going cold turkey here!

I digress again. So, I plugged my Huion into my 2nd laptop and behold! That fucker finally connected and mirrored the laptop display, thank fucking god! Little shit was playing hard to get but it still lives! Whoop, whoop!

Thank Voldy's perky ass, I wasn't forced to make a human connection with an underpaid yet bored employee at the Huion support centre. I had that tablet for 4 years and we experienced the deepest depths of human depravity together - I cried bitter tears, cursed it for reflecting my shitty art skills - my inability to draw hot men bedtime wrestling. But, we also experienced joy together when I succeeded. That fucker made me feel like an art god when it reflected how I envisioned the smut to be. I'm not ready to end this toxic relationship, I thought I'd be.

I was all 'yeah, I'm sooo stage 4 already! I only need the Huion employee to gaslight me into buying their newest, shiny model to reach stage 5!' I'm 30, a grandma according to annoying (affectionate) internet youngsters. My body can't handle eating only instant ramen for 4 months anymore. My roaring 20s are a bygone era and for once I choose to practice some self-care, to love myself even!

For once, I was about to make an adult decision and... wait. To save up the money - to accept that I'll be a temporary full-time traditional wannabe weird-ass hentai artist with a shitty phone camera... but thank god I don't have to! My beloved tablet still works and I can be a part-time traditional but mainly digital wannabe weird-ass hentai artist with a shitty phone camera! Yeah, this is how my day went. Love y'all ~ mwaaah

Shameless self-promo plug but I think you should at least look at the smut scenes to see the appeal of tomcest (sr)~ I also need some validation for providing my tears as lube for their narcissistic coupling You can read Philautia here: AO3

[gracefulsouffle]

when r ye going to update again and again? I NEED MORE FERAL HUNTER PLEASE

Hello! Apologies Anon for the late reply, I wanted to give you a positive response!

I am very happy to say that I've been quietly writing all this time and will start posting chapters weekly starting this Saturday November 23rd!

I'm calling this chunk the "LUZers Arc". Expect a bit of a lighter tone with lots of Luz and Emerald Trio interactions!

And as thanks for being my first genuine Ask and apologies for using it for shameless self promo, here's a sneak peak below the cut <3

Sneak Peak:

Hunter scuffs a boot on the ground as he walks, displacing some dust before it’s immediately trampled by the passing crowd as his eyes dart about- nonchalantly! Because he is acting completely natural and normal. 

Yup! Just a normal teen out with his friends- 

A stranger's gaze passes over him and Hunter continues to be a chill relaxed teenager that is not a fugitive and is totally supposed to be alive right now.

There’s a light nudge in his side and a hissed whisper in his ear, “Psst! Hunter! You’re spiraling again buddy!”

Hunter blinks and takes a deep breath, putting a stop to its previous shallow and frantic nature. On his other side, Willow gives his hand a light squeeze, her reassuring green gaze chasing away the looming feeling of impending doom.

“We're here to get you out and have some fun,” she murmurs, “If it's too much we can turn back.”

Gus makes an indignant sound, causing Hunter to laugh as Willow elbows the boy in the ribs.

“Okay fine, yes we can go back if you want,” Gus pouts, “I’ll just add that if we do we’ll have to wait a whole week if we want the plan to go off without a hitch. And I am not patient! So there may be hitches!”

That earns Gus a friendly shove from Willow, another round of laughter bursting out of Hunter when Gus shoves her back.

Watching his friends squabble does nothing to stop his grin from spreading from ear to ear. 

There are risks that he'd calculated and recalculated, in addition to multiple contingency plans and escape strategies, that had to line up in order for him to be here today. Despite just arriving at the Bonesburrough marketplace, he's already finding that these risks are worth it. He's always wanted to come look at the shops when not on a mission, but never had the chance or the funds- let alone friends to go with. Darius even gave him a generous loan to buy supplies and whatever else he wants! 

Determined not to waste this chance, Hunter gives his friends a grateful smile as he does his best to reassure them, “Thanks guys, I'm good now.”

Concerns successfully put to rest, Willow whoops and grabs onto both of their hands, “Then what are we waiting for! Operation: Have Some Fun and Meet the Human, is on!”

[geralt-of-vengerberg]

Fic Rec Friday Fun

I was tagged by @heytheredeann, thank you for the tag & also not really doing this on a Friday hehe

So wanted to get some hiatus rec lists going and encourage some self promo in my friends so how about sharing your top fics no matter how big or small - give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words

Most hits: Knee Socks (Geralt/Yennefer - the Witcher) Not surprising as this is my longest running fanfic and has the most chapters, but it'll come to an end soon. A happy ending fyi.

Most kudos: Somewhere along the way (Geralt/Yennfer - the Witcher) My very first fanfic where I was still very much testing the waters and you can probably tell, but everybody has to start somewhere and learn along the way... (yep, I just did that)

Most comments: Knee Socks (Geralt/Yennefer - the Witcher)

Most bookmarks: Dancing between darkness and dawn (Geralt/Yennefer - the Witcher) This was supposed to be a three-four chaptered fanfic in between, but it got out of hand and I even have a vague idea for a sequel. Whoops.

Most words: Somewhere along the way (Geralt/Yennefer - the Witcher)

Least words: Laundry (Geralt/Yennefer - the Witcher) Not even sure if this one can be considered an actual fanfic, but oh well.

-

Tagging: my dearest friend @fanfaresandflowers, because everybody deserves to (re)read the best of the best in the world of Yenralt fanfiction and that's exactly what she puts out over and over again 🤍 (but also, no pressure 😘)

[dvarapala]

DVĀRAPĀLA (NOUN): UDYATI KAVYA RAO, HOMO DAEVA, DOORWAY GIRL 

[sensesdialed-a]

WHERE TO FIND ASH????

MCU BASED PETER PARKER / SPIDER-MAN | high activity | ( @sensesdialed )

MCU BASED CAROL DANVERS / CAPTAIN MARVEL | high activity | ( @nothingtoprcve )

MCU BASED ANDROID ! KAREN FROM SPIDER-MAN HOMECOMING | low activity | ( @fullcapabilities )

ADORA FROM NETFLIX’S SHE-RA AND THE PRINCESSES OF POWER | hiatus until season 2 | spop + mcu verses ( live action fc: virginia gardner ) ! | ( @edgeofgreatness )

[aka-indulgence]

H…. HI I MADE A BOB VELSEB DRABBLE HAHA IM WEAK (laughs nervously)

(Also click here for ao3 link)

I…. I threw my hat in the ring…… your honor i think he’s neat,,,,

This is jus. Meet-cute. In the idea that you get close to him before the fact that he’s a cannibalistic serial killer is known to the wider public.

Special thanks to @goodgollymissmeli for the meat facts /w\

(also another written work in a week? it’s a new year miracle ✨ ✨)

((CW: blood and murder, but only a little at the end. It’s not the focus of the story. Also for those of you don’t know he’s also a cannibal <u<;;;))

—-

Brr, that sure is the autumn chill.

You find yourself strolling down the quiet streets of Everytown, a bit late into the night. You’ve moved here less than a month ago, currently looking for some way of life. Other than the fact that you’re looking for a job… right now you’re hungry, and looking for some place to get an easy snack (you haven’t gotten into the swing of buying groceries. Fast food for you!).

You remember a burger joint a couple blocks down and decided to check it out.

So far you found the town quite charming, despite the rumours floating about, that it was a weird town. Lots of conspiracies, urban legends, paranormal reports. You don’t really know about all that. Maybe it can even add a lil’ spice to your life. Plus… halloween was coming up soon, and this town was famous for it! You felt like a kid again, excited for it to roll around.

Not sure about jobs yet, but you’re not too pressed about it. On account of it being a small town with weird rumors around it, there was a lot of job openings everywhere- it was apparent this town needed more workforce than it had.

(You went to the candy club a couple days back- they had some kind of halloween promo item when you visited, candy hairclips. You bought all the available colors. The guy at the counter also seemed nice- if a bit stressed. He seemed excited when you said you were looking for a job. You were seriously considering. You hoped they’d give out free candy…)

You stop your pondering when you arrive. Standing in front of the place, you smiled. ‘Boys ‘n Grills’ was a really cute name.

A bell chimed quietly when you entered, and you’re hit with the pleasant scent of fried patties. There isn’t a lot of people sitting in, maybe about… oh, three people. Only one person seemed to work here- the cook. No waiters? You thought to yourself. Everyone here seemed to be busy being… uh, tired. Of course, it was pretty late at night (your little gremlin self didn’t realize what time it was when you finally thought to grab dinner… whoops!). You’re suddenly acutely aware of how much you haven’t fit in to the crowd, awkwardly sitting down at the bar. Um.. so the cook didn’t have to bring your plate too far?

As soon as you sit, the cook turns around.

He’s a large man, hair long at the back, with stubble on his chin. His eyes were wide and looked at you with intensity that caught you off guard. When he faces you, you see a large outstretched grin on his face, like he was forcing himself to smile but went too far.

You find yourself intimidated- like you just intruded on him, even though… you’re a customer. You almost stammer and hop off your chair when he speaks.

“Well hello there. What can I do you fer, lil’ thing?”

O…. oh!

His face suddenly didn’t look quite as chilling when he spoke. He had a warm baritone, a southern drawl? And his expression looked bright instead of… foreboding. Hah- you don’t know what you’re even thinking. You’re just tired and paranoid.

“Oh hi! Yeah,” you respond too quickly, nerves getting to you. “Do you have a menu?”

The cook blinks at you for a bit, then crouches down under the bar to grab a menu. You flip through it, while he watches passively in front of you. Maybe he’s just… super attentive.

Damn… all of these look good.

“Do you have a recommendation?”

“.... Classic.” He answers, slowly. “Can’t go wrong with that.”

“Alright, then I’ll have that!”

He nods, turning around to the grill. He looks at the pre-made patties he made, looking at it for a while, then turning back to you. Then he grabs a patty and starts cooking it.

The sound, that ‘shhhh’ of patty in butter… the smell! Now you really notice how hungry you are.

“Man… that smells really good,” you mumble. “You must be an amazing cook!”

He half turns to you, smiling proudly.

“Thank you, very kind of ya to say.” He expressed, “I’m not just the cook, I’m the owner of this establishment.”

You practically make an “:o” face at him. “Oh wow, you’re running this whole thing by yourself?? Hah, I’m glad you’re also cooking because by the smell of it, it’d be a shame if others didn’t get to taste your cooking,”

He chuckles, “Now yer just flat out flatterin’ me.”

“I guess I’ll just have to see when I eat it myself!”

The meat sizzles pleasantly. You know it’s a given because he’s a cook… but you like the way how swift he moves, how he twirls his spatula before flipping the patty.

“I don’t reckon you’re from around here are you?” He asks, “Not a lot of new faces ‘round here, an’ not a lotta people ask for the menu.”

“Is it that obvious?” You giggle nervously, “Yeah, I’m new in town… sorry.”

“No no, ‘s a pleasure to meet ya.”

Soon after, he places the plate in front of you. Big, juicy burger and a side of fries.

“Excuse me,” you say awkwardly, taking a bite out of it.

Oh man… it’s good. You’re definitely coming back here.

“Name’s Bob. Bob Velseb,” he gives you his hand. You couldn’t help but notice the.. claw-like? Appearance to them. Nonetheless you shake it.

“(Y/n)!” You introduce yourself.

“So, how ya doing in this town?”

You tell him the summary. The move, cramming yourself in the truck, looking for a job. Some of the… weird characters you’ve met in town.

“A guy that… likes to imply he steals children?”

“Oh, Frank.”

“Uh. D…. does he steal children?”

“... Probably.”

“Huh?! Why hasn’t anyone stopped him???”

“Did you know… there are only two police officers in this town?”

You make a face. “Uh… huh.” Well that wasn’t very reassuring.

He smiles for a bit (still wide, less scary the longer you look at it), looking at your hair.

“Love yer hairclip.”

That surprises a shy little smile from you.

“Ah… thanks, it’s new! I got it when I arrived, actually,”

Girl… Why were you so giggly and nervous all of a sudden?!

He grins, more low-key and soft-looking. “It’s cute.”

… Ahem. You try not to hide your face and let it bounce of you. He’s talking about the hairclip, not you anyway. Nothing to get antsy about.

You talk to him a bit more, about how he runs this place all on his own (“Practically,” he adds. “From getting quality meat to getting food to the customer. Not a lot of people I can trust with the process.”

He starts drooling visibly, looking down at it and wipes it with a cloth from his pocket.

“Sorry. I get… hungry. ” He apologizes… somewhat insincerely, smile widening. He says it like it’s some sort of inside joke.

You aren’t sure why he said it like that.)

In the midst of your conversation, neither of you noticed the bell chiming or the customer that sat at the edge of the diner, in a booth, near the wall. Apparently he got annoyed enough that he shouts, startling the other customers, some of which were napping.

“Hey! When are you going to serve me, huh? You’re here to work, not chat. There’s barely anyone in this diner so don’t pretend you were busy- some of us are planning to sleep this night!”

You cringe, the automatic thought of Who told you to come so late anyway? bubbled to the surface. You say nothing, however- seeing the expression on Bob’s face.

He goes from his normal pleasant smile to frowning in an instant. His eyes go wide and a look of shocked hatred is on his face, gritting his teeth. He slowly, slooowly turns his head towards the rude customer, so slowly that you think you could hear a ‘creak’ in his neck. His mouth slowly stretches, wider than you’d seen it earlier, and a sick feeling settles in the pit of your stomach.

“Excuse me?”

Bob’s knuckles turn white from how hard he’s fisting his hand, and you see another hand reach for his kitchen utensils…

Sensing something’s boutta happen, you stand up and splutter “No no! Sorry. I was holding him up, had too much fun talking,”

You smile at them apologetically. Bob turns to you, surprised look on his face.

The customer huffs dismissively. “Then you should learn how to shut up and people do their job,”

Your look sours and your face clouds up. What a prick! Bob closes his mouth (huh, you just noticed he rarely hides his teeth), clearly still incensed, but put under better wraps. When he smiles it’s obvious to you that it isn’t like the friendly one he gave you, and his eyes are still wide. After Bob takes his order, he comes back and leans to you.

“You didn’t need ta cover for me…” He looks apologetic. “I woulda thrown him out the door… he stepped the line this time. Sorry about that,”

“Aw… that’s alright. There’s bad customers everywhere, and they take it out on people who least deserve it. At least I could shift the blame away from you. Plus… this way you’re still getting some good cash from him, right?” You rub your fingers together, showing off imaginary money.

“Plus, I’d rather not start an argument with stones.”

“...?” He tilts his head at you. “S… stones…?”

“... Cause. They’re rock-headed?” You shrug non committedly.

He stares at you, blinking like you just said the most ridiculous thing. Then he throws his head back and laughs, deep and full, his belly shaking with the force his laughter.

… :D

You didn’t come here with a plan to have a new crush! Stop it!! You think to yourself, rather helplessly.

“Hey… you’re pretty good at this,” He says, as soon as his laughs die down, rubbing a small tear off his eye. He waves his hands around vaguely, pointing to the rude customer. “Dealing with… people. And a funny lil’ thing, too.”

… ://D

“You said yer looking for a job right? Why don’t you come work as my waitress? Lord knows I need one sooner or later.”

Your eyes practically sparkle at him and his offer.

“R… really??”

“Sure, yer a charm to have around,” he closes his eyes, waving his hand in a circle, oblivious to your innocent look of admiration on your face, pink on your cheeks (Hey don’t blame you, this is one of the first really nice interaction you’ve had in this town, and you really weak to flattery!).

“Maybe there’d be,” he squints, glaring at the customer sitting behind him, “less crabby customers if there’s someone else helping me wait them out. If yer up for it.”

You’re beaming, practically a mini sun in that diner. “Yep, yes! I’d love to, thanks so much!”

————————————————

About 2 hours later.

You’re already home in your apartment, sleeping your worries away. You stayed around for a bit while Bob explained to you when to come, and how there won’t be much of a ‘training’, but that he’d personally tell you about the tasks you’d be doing.

“I don’t suppose you have an apron?”

“Um… no, but I can get one, if you need?”

Something to look forward in the near future, and he wasn’t even thinking about ‘hunting season’.

… Asshole from earlier fell asleep and had to be kicked out. By the time Bob was done closing up (and setting up), he was in front of his house. Didn’t take long to catch up.

Slow steps echo over the street. He can work with this.

The guy turns around at the sound, raising a brow. When he sees the devil smiling at him, he startles, stumbling back against the door.

“W-what, who-?”

“Did you know… ground up, human meat doesn’t taste that different to pork?”

The devil stalks closer, knife glinting as he takes it out of his belt.

“No… no wait!” The man pleads, one hand shuffling for keys in his pocket, the other rattling the doorknob.

Drool drips out the devil’s mouth, squinting at him.

The hunger.

“... Maybe you should learn to shut up and let people do their damn job.” He growls.

His screams are quickly silenced as the knife plunges into flesh and blood splatters.

[toogayforthistoday]

Whoops, I meant to make another one of these forever ago, and then never did

That means, kiddos, it's time for another...

Spoopy Homo-ween Promo from Yours Truely!!

🎃 It's nice to meet y'all, my name is Gabe ( He / Him ) 🎃

🎃 I'm a Lvl 33 Adult Self-Shipper who cross-classed into Livestreamer and will be cross-classing again into VTuber 🎃

🎃 I have a wide variety of f/o's, the whole list can be found here on my carrd 🎃

🎃 But my main boo, love of my live, man I am engaged to, is my beau, Touya 'Dabi' Todoroki from My Hero Academia 🎃

*Unless we have spoken about this, I am super not comfortable sharing him, so please don't reblog any Dabi content from me

🎃 I also have 3 amazing kids, also from MHA, Hitoshi Shinso, Neito Monoma (I often write them as twins) and Eri 🎃

🎃 My DNI/BYF can also be found on my carrd, as well as other various links 🎃

🎃 I thinks that's about it, so I can't wait to meet you, and remember 🎃

Your F/O loves you!!!

[babymilkawa]

Can you do the haikyuu captions with an S/o who is in their first year (fluffy)

yayy finally have a reason to write for kuroo and bokuto

first year s/o headcanons with:

oikawa tooru, sawamura daichi, kuroo tetsuro, bokuto kotaro

gn!reader :)

oikawa tooru

at first, you were a little hesitant on letting your relationship out

because some of his fans could be second or third years yk, we don’t want no bullies bullies b gone whoosh

but he is almost always by your side and has even acted annoyed to his fans if they were ever mean to you

having a third year as your bf means that you can get homework help whenever you want

and all your teachers love him

so they don’t mind if he hangs out in the classroom sometimes, as long as he doesn’t distract you

he’ll gush about how you and your little friends are so cute

pull that old man shit and be like “I remember those days, we were young and free~”

dramatic king

whenever you go to one of his games, you’ll always try to cheer louder for him compared to his other fans and he’s got like this big surge of pride

but afterwards he’ll be like “don’t lose your voice honey”

will want you to be the team’s new manager soooo bad

like will beg you on his knees because if you accept the current manager’s offer, you can see your bf even more and he can impress you 

the manager totally doesn't use that to try to convince you

oikawa really just loves how the slight age gap means he has more the reason to take care of you

your first time during a class sports event? he’s right by your side, making sure you don’t feel awkward or lost

yes he’s that type of person who looooves it when you ask questions and he can show off his smexy brain

a lot of times Iwaizumi will hit him in the back of the head if he’s talking with you too much and he’ll just sulk and slump his head on your shoulder 

sawamura daichi

he’ll always bop his head into ur class

he’s obviously also a teacher’s favorite have u met this guy 

oh wait no u haven’t, rip sucks to be u *sobs*

so the teachers don't mind

ur teachers prolly even gush about him with you, yk like those teachers who lOVE drama/gossip yea them

Nishinoya and tanaka always try to get ur attention bc your Daichi’s s/o and every time, Daichi will yell at them, telling them to not scare you off

but they still do it

tis a cycle

plays 128489x better when you’re around

wait gotta round that so 130000x

we know he’s very encouraging to his teammates but with you around? he’s like Yamaguchi’s personal cheering squad

will go to your house in the mornings, walk you to class, wait there at lunch, walk you home, ugh this man can’t get enough of u

he loves it when you lean against him when u guys walk together, he’ll wrap a secure arm around you and you nuzzle in his neck SHDFKJHDKS

u always help them shag the balls and he’s like “no, no, y/n let tanaka and Nishinoya do it” and those two are giving you puppy eyes

cue Daichi chasing them down

if tanaka and noya are puppies, he’s your bulldog

omg random but y'all know that one parks and rec episode where they’re picking people’s spirit dog? yea Daichi is like a bulldog

but once he turns to you it’s all 🌈🌟💫💝

but he’s genuine

no fakes we don’t want them

if you read my sick s/o hcs you’ll know how much of a “handsome boy” to elderly people he is 

hehe sry for the self promo

kuroo tetsuro

u already know what ur dates are gonna be like

he’s gonna smexy study with you *bites lip*

yea that’s right Kuroo just leave ur brain and go

this man,,,again I know,,,is adored by your teachers

“Kuroo you’ve still got that same hair!”

yea he’s def like a teacher assistant or smn during his free period

he’ll pick ur class and just wiggles his eyebrows whenever y'all make eye contact

when you’re done with a presentation, he’ll be the first and loudest when clapping

alwaysss is there when you need a pencil or an eraser

this man will literally prepare protein bars for you the morning u have a test, will give you a pep talk, y'all like huddle outside the classroom or something LMAO that’s cute tho

“you’re gonna go in there and you’re gonna kick that test in the ass ok?”

gives you a dad pat, a kiss to ur head and gives you two thumbs up when you glance at him at your desk

p sure everyone in your class wants him to hold a study session

but no ladies & gentlemen, he’s reserved for y/n and y/n only good day ☺️

its kinda impossible for u to fail

to thank his brain, you always show up to his practices and games

you give the team their water, towels, etc and he’s just yea that’s right they’re my s/o

now shower them with praise *holds them at gunpoint*

his schedule is busier than yours and he always feels bad abt it

which is why he’s soooo clingy if y'all sleepover or after hw

it’s hard for him to resist u cuddles during hw tho

OMIGOD WATCH THIS VID 

bokuto kotaro

ok at this point we know that all our captains are angels so

*deep inhale*

he’s a teachers favorite

there I said it sue me

so yes he WILL hang around your classroom and talk to the teachers

p sure he does that with akaashi buttt 👀

and if u can’t come out during break he’ll just mope by the doorway while akaashi nom noms on his snacc boccuto

he won’t rly help u with hw, he’ll try but go off topic and whoops why did a pillow hit my face

yea y’all don’t get much studying done so hopefully ur smart

ACTUALYYYYY you just call akaashi

DuH

bokuto will litrally be like “ur bad at math? Babe just jump in the pool with me rn with ur clothes on, take a shower and then we’ll call akaashi!!”

it was 1 am 💀

he’s a good distraction whenever you’re stressed out

literally sunshine in human form

if ur there during his practices and matches he almost NEVERS goes into Emo mode bc gotta impress my s/o

ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ!!

will randomly call out to you when he’s on the court

“HEY Y/N HI HELLO”

“this ones for you” *hits it into the net*

every time he gets a good play he’ll immediately look into the crowd and ur there jumping for him and he’s jumping back and awww

some ppl r wondering if he’s even older than u like y’all look abt the same age 🤔

he’s just 🍗🍗🍖🍖🍑🍑

if ur not there during practice he’ll definitely just slouch and swing his arms around “where’s y/nnnn”

someone lift his face up and kiss him on the nose

THATS U Y/N GET UR MAN

but he knows he can’t act like that during games

he’ll just have to suck it up

and pretend like ur there, pretend that ur voice is there

literally he can only pick out your cheers from a whole stadium of people

but obv u get the best seats ;)

a/n: aaah this was fun to write ^3^

haikyu!! masterlist

[lupusmade-blog]

     THEY BROKE THE WRONG PARTS OF ME. they broke my wings and forgot i had CLAWS.

[mcbride]

TWD S11 Predictions - Carol/Daryl focused

disclaimer: i don't know anything. i have no sources. just my predictions, thoughts and wishful thinking based on filming tracking, intuition, some theories, images from the teaser/promo trailers and more wishful thinking!

solely focused on Carol and Daryl's storylines, cause apparently that's all my heart cares about anymore! as a wise person once said (Espy, my positive fairy! if you're reading this, ilysm), our baes need to be dealing with their own issues and demons, separately, while getting some closure with other people, so they can finally move forward together.

so i don't expect many actual caryl scenes in part 1 of s11, but i fully expect them to keep each other in mind, and even make some decisions based on a future they wanna have together even before they resolve the awkward tension between them atm.

imo the perfect caryl arc in 11a would include a lot of emotional encounters, drama, disappearances, fake deaths, torture, tragedy, dog, closure and make up and make out... after the jump....

it appears that Carol and Daryl will be involved in different missions at the start of the season - he will head out with Maggie's group to search for food when they are caught up in a storm and have to hide out in the subway tunnels; while i presume she stays back to defend and help clean up ASZ or goes on her own mission with Kelly and Magna.

Carol, Kelly and Magna end up stumbling upon Connie's journal, a symbol of hope for all of them. they might even decide to search the area for any more signs of Connie. i really want Carol herself to find Connie and bring her back to Kelly. and not cause Carol is a hero who saved Connie, nooooooo cause Connie can save her own self. she is strong, not a damsel in distress. she went through hell but she made it back. i think we will see Connie and what she has been through, however, i don't believe she will reunite with anyone from team family before the MSF (11x08) or even MSP (11x09). no idea who she and Virgil are running from in the trailer - it could either be a whisperer, a stray reaper or just some crazy random motherf*cker they run into.

while Maggie's group are in the tunnels, dog runs off and Daryl goes to search for him, never making it back to the group for some reason. after the storm is over, Maggie and the group search for Daryl but not having been able to find him (?) they just assume he is gone, possibly dead? i don't know why Maggie would give up so easily searching for family, but it seems like her current MO to just leave people behind.

along the way, Carol and Magna will find common ground and actually become besties cause she desperately needs some female friends. please and thank you. they can bond over the hope to find Connie alive and well, or the fact, both of them are currently in a very awkward position with their boos while having no idea where the heck they are.

Daryl probably got separated from the group while escaping a small herd in the tunnels (cue to Daryl's face covered in blood in the woods) and when he finally finds dog, he comes face to face with a masked reaper formerly known to him as Leah. he is shocked to learn she's part of the group that targeted Maggie. Leah is probably bitter Daryl chose his family instead of her a few years ago cause she has no idea he came back for her... so she and her friends take (willingly or not!) Daryl prisoner... possibly torture him and play mind games to gather information on team family.

in the sdcc trailer, there are some very heartbreaking scenes with Carol (and Aaron?), i cannot wait for it. i know it's gonna make me cry so hard and i've been needing Carol/Aaron friendship for years. at the same time, i expect Carol to also have some badass fighting scenes with her daughter-in-law and new bestie, Lydia, and tia Rosita! YES girl power!! people need Carol and she's totally there for them.

Aaron seems to be in a bad place emotionally (possibly something happened to Gracie, or just the fact they lost a lot of people in the whisperers war!) and Carol will be there to urge him not to make the same mistakes she did. hopefully, these 2 can join forces and come up with a masterplan to defeat the reapers.

Daryl being Daryl who always wants to save people even from themselves, tries to convince Leah to change sides, join team family, or convince her own family to leave his family alone. he's unsuccessful and when Daryl tries to escape, setting the whole place on fire and killing a few men on his way out of the reapers compound, Leah threatens to harm dog. cause why not? she obvi loves nothing or no one! they take Daryl back to another cell, and dog manages to escape.

meanwhile, Maggie's group returns to ASZ, where they tell Carol they believe Daryl is lost or dead. please give me all the angst that comes with Carol thinking she may have lost Daryl forever! she has been pretty committed to the group and rebuilding their home, but i believe her first instinct will be to run, to leave... TO FIND DARYL!!! cause no way in hell would Carol just accept he's gone unless she sees it with her own eyes.

WELL in true 'if you can't beat them, then join them' fashion, after a few brainwashing sessions with Leah, Daryl tells her all about the note (FIND ME) he left for her at the cabin, how he knows he made the wrong decision then, declares his loyalty to her and joins the reapers...

dog arrives at ASZ just as Carol is about to leave to search for Daryl. good boy always comes back home to mama and together they will find and save dada. (bear with me! from now on i'll be totally running wild with my wishful thinking... it will pretty much read like some fanfic plot!)

Daryl keeps trying to fit in with the reapers group, but he's only taking a page from Carol's undercover book - fake it till you make it + destroy them from the inside. what he doesn't know is that Leah and her new/old bf (Pope!?) have been planning an attack on ASZ behind his back. they simply let him know, this is his chance to prove himself to the reapers. he has to go along with the plan (or DIE!), but he hopes to be Alexandrians' inside man, helping them protect their family at all costs (ironically, exactly what Negan did when he joined the whisperers and they attacked Hilltop... just not the same motivation! i guess Carol wasn't so wrong about Negan after all!)

at night, Daryl puts on his reaper costume and they head to ASZ. reapers learned the location of the place by tracking dog. the plan was much bigger and more explosive than Daryl expected, the reapers destroy a big part of ASZ brand new rebuilt wall and set fire to a bunch of houses and the mill before Daryl can even react.

Alexandrians and reapers fight as Daryl sneaks out to lead the kids to safety. he finds Maggie, asks for Carol, and is glad she is out there looking for him, relatively safe, rather than around to fight and watch ASZ fall.

while out looking for Daryl, Carol hears the explosions, sees the fire and she and dog return to ASZ as fast as they can. they are greeted by Leah at what used to be front gate...

i realize this is getting extremely long, so i'll just say that i absolutely don't want Carol to have anything to do with Leah's possible imminent death. i don't want that guilt on her conscience, and i don't want her to feel like Leah is just another person she took from Daryl (like Connie!). i don't even want Leah to die! unless she's trying to hurt or kill Daryl.

somehow i think it would be a good twist, if for a quick second Carol thought Daryl had betrayed them and joined the reapers for Leah. of course, Carol knows better. SHE KNOWS DARYL. he would never, but for a brief panicked moment, it would be good to see her react to that. i can only imagine the pain in her eyes. but she also trusts Daryl with her life.

we have no idea what Leah knows about Carol, but i'd like the pocketknife Daryl regifted to come back. how would Leah react? likely angry to see another woman with something that was hers. i want to believe Daryl would never tell Leah anything about Carol because she is just too important and too personal to share. but maybe Leah can tell there was someone else !? who knows.

i just want it to be completely clear Daryl is done with that part of his past. Daryl is not alone and lost in the woods anymore without his brother Rick and his bestie Carol. ever since Carol brought him back, Daryl has acted like he knows exactly what he wants and he's done playing games. and what he wants is not Leah or Connie. he wants for ALL his family to be safe and happy, and he wants to run away with Carol and see the world. AND i want both Carol and Daryl to feel free to be free and live freely.

as for the make up and make out part... (that's saved for 11b, hopefully!)

team family won, most of the reapers are dead, except for Leah. Daryl (with Carol's nod of approval!) decides to spare her, gives her some supplies and tells her to get lost. at the same time, Eugene arrives with the troopers from CommonWealth to help with the whisperer war. WHOOPS. 2 wars, 2 late, bruh! but the group leaves to join the good people at CW.

Carol and Daryl have a very long conversation about everything that happened and what they have been feeling. Daryl telling her exactly why he was so mad at her (she kept leaving, can't commit!), her actions (almost getting herself killed!) since Henry's death and how he needs her in his life. no matter how she sees herself or whether she thinks she's worthy or not, he just wants her to be there next to him for whatever is to come.

plus Carol realizing she needed to get closer and let people in without fear, not give up hope and actually fight for a better future for herself. and finally, admitting to Daryl that it was horrible to think he might've been gone forever, promising to never make him feel the way she felt. basically, a promise to never ever leave him again (cue to making out!)

[adultswim2021]

Frisky Dingo #1: “Meet Killface” | October 16, 2006 – 12:30AM | S01E01

Welcome to the first episode of Meet Killface! AKA Adam Reed's got something to prove.

Frisky Dingo was Matt Thompson and Adam Reed's follow-up to Sealab 2021. Sealab 2021 began life as “one of the good ones”, quickly got AWFUL (it was way before Capt. Murphy died, you philistines), then, and I don't think this is hyperbole, it became one of the worst TV series of all time. Then there was a LITTLE BIT of an uptick towards the end. A friend of mine noted in the mailbag that the transformation of Debbie, a shallow young woman who was traditionally the a vehicle for slut jokes, seems to have transformed thanks to Arrested Development’s influence; in the final season she became a born-again Christian and little bit of a Lindsay Bluth type trying to do misguided do-gooder things.

This episode starts off the same way the promos did: a brief clip of the Sealab 2021 opening becomes staticky and then fades into a close-up of Killface, a scary muscular alien type guy. He has a deep voice and a British accent. He is unmistakably a villain, but to make it 100% clear he lays out his plan to the viewing public: he's built a gigantic jet propulsion system designed to jettison the entire planet Earth directly into the Sun, destroying everyone and everything. I don't believe there's a ransom or anything like that involved. This message is simply to tell all of America that the world will soon be engulfed by the sun's flames.

The message ends with a lingering awkward silence and we pull out to reveal that he has a video crew; a pair of twins voiced by Brendon Small (credited as Donald Cock, the name of his doctor character from Squidbillies). He also has a female assistant who is terrified of Killface after he murders one of the twins by shooting him in half with some alien weapon. They argue about marketing and Killface's ability to reach a mass audience. They argue about the feasibility of getting his message to air on every channel at once, the price per unit on a DVD mailing campaign, and other, uh, stuff. It's sorta like Tim & Eric in that corporate speak is sorta lampooned. But there's more violence in this than in Tim & Eric. We also introduce Killface's son Simon, who’s rebellious and has emotional issues probably due to Killface's coddling. He's not nearly as intimidating as his father, but he's the only one that can stand up to him without being gored to death.

I always considered this first episode to be a little weak, and I think a lot of Frisky Dingo is weak, but I remember the series as a whole winning me over towards the end. Then it was done, and my goodwill just sorta had to evaporate into the ether. I guess I should've started watching Archer after that. Whoops. The main problem for me is that this show is WAY WAY WAY self-consciously trying to be intelligent. Gone are the “who gives a fuck” bad jokes of Sealab 2021. Make no mistake, Adam Reed and Matt Thompson must've looked at Sealab 2021 and pondered their own legacy and thought “we should maybe try to make something that isn't terrible”. So they made this show which is a little bit Tom Goes to the Mayor mixed with Arrested Development with the visual flair of Get Your War On.

Hell, the Arrested Development thing is inescapable. There's a part where Killface tells his son that they will never move back to Arizona. There were entire story-arcs built around Jason Bateman threatening to move to Arizona with his son. It's functionally the same joke, and the humor comes from the exact same place on both shows. I wonder if there will be more flagrant examples as the series goes on...

I don't think I’ve ever rewatched this show at all, really. I watched every episode when it came out, that's for sure. But I was never in love with it; it was merely good enough to watch once. I DID buy the DVDs for the sake of being an Adult Swim completist, but the lack of extras caused me to not even see what the menus looked like until this recent watch. They're okay, I guess. It's just like, big pictures of the guys in the show.

The only personal anecdote I have of substance regarding this show: one time I was showing Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! to a group of friends and it was going pretty well. There was one guy who I won't name but I'll call him Harrison Stink. He was previously a shy unassuming guy who at that point in time was turning into a clout-chasing snot-nosed monster. He covered his body in awful tattoos and became a male model and eventually appeared in the “LOOK AT THIS FUCKING HIPSTER” book. This was back when Hipster meant one very specific thing, which was that you were a selfish, immature young man who made bad fashion choices in a smug way and propped up other shitheads who dressed like you as though were the most precious people on Earth. There was a female equivalent to this but they were not hipsters at all, they were just INSANELY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. I know that sounds sexist, but to be fair I am sexist.

Anyway, this guy's default mode was to shit on everything unless he saw an opportunistic angle to liking it. One time he was offered a spot in a band just doing like handclaps (he did not play an instrument and they’d recorded a few songs with him for fun) and he acted like the whole thing was beneath him and turned it down. When the band started getting successful he suddenly was like “hey are you still needing a handclap guy?”

When he saw Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! He immediately turned his nose up at it. If you are uninitiated: Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! actually has a GREAT reputation as a COOL GUY CULT MOVIE, and it was unmistakable to me that he had no concept of this; because if he did he absolutely would've acted like he'd seen it already and that it was his favorite movie. He was embarrassing himself on two separate levels.

But he didn't just turn his nose up at it: he defiantly sat in the room with a bunch of guys all laughing and cheering and having a great time and decided to shit on it humorlessly, just moaning “this sucks. We should watch something else” while everyone shouted him down. He wasn't even watching it, really, he was actually watching something else on his computer with headphones and would just periodically look up from his screen to torment us.

He was watching Frisky Dingo.

MAIL BAG

My write-up sure ended apruptly huh? Seems like another paragraph or two should’ve followed it, wrapping up my thoughts in a more definitive way? Fuck all that shit, here is Kon who is never wrong:

Ah… can't believe we're already up to Frisky Dingo…

I went into Frisky Dingo absolutely determined to hate it because of how much I hated the last half of Sealab. I just refused to believe it could be good. But also, my expectations for Frisky Dingo were so rock-bottom low that the show couldn't help surpass them. Like I was literally expecting Frisky Dingo to be 11 minutes a week of a Penny Arcade-esque Adam Reed analogue character looking at the screen and ranting about how unfair the critics are to him, calling out specific message board posters by username, etc. The idea of the show having settings, characters, jokes, even basic elements of storytelling, didn't even occur to me. When I saw it, I was genuinely astonished that it actually had any aspirations whatsoever to entertain, instead of being a completely self-indulgent wank. So, I simultaneously underrated Frisky Dingo because of Sealab's baggage, AND overrated it for actually being an actual show. I have no idea how I did that but in the fall of 2006 I somehow did. 

So in conclusion that is why Frisky Dingo is a pretty alright show sometimes. The end.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me

I’m gonna miss writing about Amethyst.

As the most sisterly Crystal Gem, a firebrand in the new role of middle child after spending millennia as the baby of the group, Amethyst’s story is about growing from a wild teen to a responsible adult. Like Steven, she feels the need to prove that she’s a Crystal Gem too, but unlike Steven, she already is a Crystal Gem, so she carries a different kind of resentment as she continues to be treated like a child. It’s made even worse by her warrior instincts clashing with her small frame: she lives with the constant anxiety that she’s a mistake, a Gem who came out wrong and doesn’t belong in her family, so she comforts and distracts herself with hedonism and shapeshifting. Her problem goes beyond not feeling respected: deep down, she fears that she doesn’t deserve respect.

But she changes her mind.

“This isn’t normal.”

The Return and Jailbreak culminated the first act of Steven Universe, giving our characters subtle achievements (Amethyst and Pearl casually fuse into Opal, Greg reveals a deeper understanding of the Gems than we once thought, Beach City comes together as a community when Steven is in danger) and huge changes (Steven summons a massive shield, Garnet’s status as a fusion is confirmed, Lapis goes from prisoner to imprisoner). While not an official finale, Beta and Earthlings culminated the second act, narrowing the focus to five characters as they each reach one milestone or another: Lapis and Amethyst find a level of peace, Peridot defends her new home, Jasper succumbs to corruption, and Steven helps his friends but fails to help his enemy.

In a way, Change Your Mind culminates the third act with an even narrower focus. Sure, it gives big moments to a ton of characters (there’s fanservice galore, and we see the three Diamonds in particular take enormous steps), but we zero in on Steven in the same way the entire act has zeroed in on Steven, because this is a story about identity. It isn’t only about who he is, but who he wants to be moving forward, and fusing all the insights he’s learned from his human family, his Crystal Gem family, and his Diamond family into a song that encapsulates his growth over the course of the series.

We start in the most lifelike of the Diamond dreams, so real that Steven still sees himself as Steven rather than embodying Pink. Once again, this connection emerges from sleeping in a location where Pink once dwelled, but while he wasn’t feeling her impatience and rage in Jungle Moon, nor her hardening resolve in Can’t Go Back, nor her whimsy in Familiar, this time they share the same headspace when they’re both locked in a tower.

Considering how bombastic things get in this episode, I love how low-key this final dream remains until White Diamond interferes. We’re as lost as Steven at first, worrying about Connie and baffled at Blue’s recognizable mood but incongruous accusations, but as the truth becomes clear, he transforms into Pink off-screen without any fanfare, both in body and in mind: Steven isn’t questioning Blue’s warning about Pink Pearl, Pink Diamond is apologizing for her own behavior in Zach Callison’s voice. Still, looking down jolts him out of it, and after seeing the Crystal Gems poofed at the ball for a more definitive Steven memory, we cycle in Rose’s horror at her family launching a final attack on Earth. The rapid-fire identity shifts that follow inspired the most haunting piece of promo art for the episode, drawn by Rebecca Sugar herself, but I didn’t wanna display it without a seizure warning.

It’s excellent exposition, hitting the highlights of the Diamonds’ many wrongs and establishing Steven’s fraying sense of self in a way that’s both artful and brief; it’s important to remind younger viewers about the stakes, but Change Your Mind doesn’t pretend that anyone should be watching this episode without context, so it doesn’t prioritize thorough explanation. And despite how frightening the nightmare becomes, Steven gains a new sense of clarity after seeing the pattern laid out in front of him. The Diamonds are hurting him in the same way they hurt his mother, and if he’s going to help everyone, he needs to help himself.

When Blue Diamond returns to the tower in modern day, Steven isn’t afraid, and he isn’t alone. The first of many puns riddling the finale emerges (“Déjà Blue!”) before Connie proves why she’s the perfect partner for our hero, platonic or otherwise. He’s terrible at confronting the people that hurt him—this would require him to acknowledge he’s hurt in the first place, which he’s also terrible at—but if she was comfortable enough with confrontation to call out her best friend when he wrongs her, Blue Diamond doesn’t stand a chance. Connie comes out swinging, loading the bases with candor and sass despite Blue’s confusion over why a human even gets an opinion about this stuff, which makes Steven’s refusal to apologize hit the Diamond like a grand slam.

I love that Steven’s flat “no” takes Connie by surprise as well as Blue, because yeah, it’s uncharacteristically blunt for someone who’s spent his entire trip to Homeworld bending over backwards like he usually does to accommodate others. When he doubles down by explaining that he isn’t sorry about creating a show that celebrates queer characters whoops sorry I mean fusion, Callison makes it sound like the most obvious thing in the world, and this is what upsets Blue enough to inflict her tears on him. We’ll learn even more about Pink’s temper in Steven Universe Future, but the simple act of not bowing to authority makes Steven “worse than ever” in Blue’s mind: violence is more acceptable than insubordination. (Also, violence in cartoons is more acceptable than queer folks just sorta existing in cartoons, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Change Your Mind is about combating bigotry and cycles of abuse, and Blue is the obvious first test. She’s a bigot who doesn’t think she’s a bigot (compared to Yellow, who doesn’t care that she’s a bigot, and White, who’s quite proud of being a bigot). She passively perpetuates a toxic status quo (compared to Yellow, who actively perpetuates it, and White, who established it in the first place). It makes sense that she’s the first of the remaining Diamonds to change her mind, because all it takes for her to realize that something is wrong is thinking about it a little harder.

This doesn’t let her off the hook, of course: Blue’s sloth—the sin, not the animal—might not look flashy next to Yellow’s wrath or White’s pride or Pink’s envy, but she still chose to do nothing for thousands of years rather than contemplate how her actions and her society might have wronged Pink. If it was this easy for Blue to realize she was hurting Pink, it makes it that much more of an issue that it took her this long to figure it out. Unintentional bigots might be the “best” option by default, but they can be just as harmful as intentional bigots, and there’s a special sort of damage that can come from an oppressor who truly believes themselves an ally.

That said, while it’s important to acknowledge her blame (emphasized here when she only stops attacking Steven when he calls her out rather than the Diamonds in general), Blue is also a victim. She’s one of the most powerful beings on Homeworld, but she’s still trapped by White Diamond, and resorts to putting others down as a means of reclaiming a sense of that power. In the same way oppressed people often turn to sexism and racism and homophobia to make themselves feel bigger, Blue (and Yellow) reinforce White’s sweeping bigotry in the same way they echo her family-specific abuse. It’s not a good coping mechanism, in this show or in the real world, but understanding the problem is key to fixing it.

So it still feels like a victory when Blue turns, even though it should’ve happened ages ago, and even though she’s a tyrant. She isn’t just deciding to help Steven, she’s breaking out of that cycle in a way that allows for growth beyond our hero’s immediate concerns. Lisa Hannigan captures this transformation beautifully, shifting from manipulative whining about Pink’s behavior to a crushing realization that she’s the one who’s wrong. And even as she joins Steven’s side, she remains weighed down by her longstanding prejudice: Hannigan stutters as she refers to the Crystal Gems as his family, and her triumphant defense of Steven’s name to Yellow comes with the caveat that she’s still misgendering him.

But before we get to Yellow, we take a pit stop that grounds us back to Steven and Connie’s hunger. It may seem small, but this is a critical moment in establishing Steven’s humanity in a way the show has quietly done from day one: with food.

The very first scene of Steven Universe establishes our hero’s human half in a donut shop, upset about dessert. From there, the next five episodes drill in that Steven will take a unique approach to his magical Gem heritage, and they all involve food in a major way: Cookie Cats, then his father’s saying about pork chops and hot dogs, then the Cheeseburger Backpack (important enough to be the episode’s name), then the Together Breakfast (ditto), then creating a monster based on fries.

It’s not just Steven, either. The first few Connie episodes involve eating and drinking in ways that show hints of growth (worrying about trans fats, then sneaking food into movie theaters) and mark key moments in her life (sharing a juicebox, taking her parents to dinner). Lars’s development is tied with his love of baking, and on top of him and Sadie working at the Big Donut, the Frymans and the Pizzas are so tied to their food service jobs that it’s in their names. And speaking of names, we’ve got Vidalia calling her sons Sour Cream and Onion. It even extends to the Gems: Amethyst’s connection with Earth means she loves food, and Pearl’s greater distance from humanity means she can’t stomach it.

Food is fundamentally something that humans require and Gems don’t, and just like we saw in Lars’s Head, Steven’s physical body forces him to think about his own needs despite his usual focus on others. Both his humanity and his ability to stand up for himself are key to his eventual victory, and what could’ve been a generic transition between Blue and Yellow’s big scenes instead becomes a quiet Steven scene. Steven changing into his usual clothes (including his mom’s star) and Connie changing into her own outfit (including her dad’s jacket) is the perfect finishing touch before we dive back into the drama.

True to their natures, Yellow Diamond gets a starker introduction than Blue’s dream sequence: as the lights burst on, we get two shots focusing on a horrifying number of mutated Gem Shards floating around in the room, then the Crystal Gems’ thankfully intact gems in one big bubble, before panning down to the villain who caused all this pain. The menace is palpable before she even opens her mouth, but Patti LuPone’s low tone keeps the mood from boiling over just long enough that when she loses her cool, it hits like a freight train.

Blue’s passive bigotry endured because she lacked introspection, but Yellow’s active bigotry requires constantly justifying actions she knows are cruel by presenting it as a matter of superior reasoning. We’ve known from her first appearance that Yellow’s seething fury undermines her reputation for cold logic, and now more than ever the connection between her behavior and that of “sophisticated” bigots is clear. You know the type: openly, smugly hateful, but couching their hate as something derived from some deep knowledge about the subject, whether in religious convictions or whatever “science” they can scrape together to confirm their worldview.

Sure enough, even in her rage, Yellow lays down what she sees as a rational explanation for why it was okay to mistreat Pink, and why it’s okay that they themselves are mistreated: if they make exceptions for anyone, even other Diamonds, they must make exceptions for everyone, and chaos reigns. Besides the slippery slope being a fallacy, her argument is punctured by Connie’s second big retort of the night, pointing out that this extreme conclusion of Homeworld Gems living free actually sounds pretty nice. But you can’t force this type of bigot to change their mind through reason; if such a person was actually interested in logical worldviews, they wouldn’t have become a bigot in the first place. You need to change their heart.

Fortunately, emotions are Blue’s domain, so she’s just the person to help. Unfortunately, in the same way she still can’t get Steven’s pronouns right, Blue lacks experience with healthy communication, and strikes a first blow against Yellow on instinct. The ensuing brawl is brutal, switching between the massive scale of two warring titans and the smaller scale of Steven and Connie scrambling to save the Crystal Gems as Blue and Yellow unload millennia of baggage on each other. It’s so important that Blue is the physical instigator here, as it fuels Yellow’s white-hot self-righteous streak like nothing else, and it keeps the fight from being one-sided all the way through: Yellow pretty much needs to be the one dealing the final blow for the scene to stick, so it gets balanced out by Blue’s opening punch.

Blue uses her powers on Yellow, and Yellow uses her powers on Blue, but Steven’s power is talking. So just like with Blue’s conversion, Connie gets the opening words while Steven gets the finisher. When he finally gets her attention after being ignored throughout the scene, he makes Yellow listen to him by using the same food-based expression I mentioned from all the way back in Laser Light Cannon. It’d pack a bigger punch if Greg said “If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs” at literally any other point in the show, but it still does the trick.

Blue was emotionally ready to accept that Pink was suffering, but hadn’t considered the Diamonds’ role in that suffering. Yellow knew that Pink suffered thanks to the Diamonds, but suppressed her emotions to the point where she couldn’t empathize with her sister’s plight. Blue needed to be more thoughtful to change, and Yellow needed to be more in touch with her emotions to change, and thus the stage is set for the Battle of Heart and Mind against White Diamond.

Except that this isn’t the lesson of Change Your Mind. Blue and Yellow show that some bigots can be reached, which is great! But despite their differences, Steven uses the same basic strategy in both: he doesn’t let them belittle his identity, he confidently dispels their wrongheaded assumptions, and he gets help from allies instead of shouldering the burden himself. We spend the beginning of the episode seeing that in the right circumstances this approach can work, but from here we’ll see that with some bigots, it’s a non-starter.

So long as you can engage with bigots while maintaining your self-respect, it can be good work to try and help them see the light. It’s not an obligation, but if you want to change hearts and minds, Steven provides a good template for how to do it. Now the rest of the episode can focus on the bigger lesson: if someone refuses to respect your humanity when you’re steadfast and forthright, it isn’t your job to breathe in their poison, or to hold your breath until you asphyxiate waiting for change.

But more on that after the break!

I Can’t Believe We’ve Come So Far

As we reach the end of the original series, it would be criminal not to acknowledge three long-time storyboarders who are on their way out. This isn’t their final contribution to the series, as only one of Change Your Mind’s twelve credited writer/boarders didn’t go on to work on The Movie in some way (Christine Liu, whose tenure was brief but great), and Hilary Florido stayed on as a supervisor for Future. But I wanted to write the big sendoffs here, as this is the last proper “episode” that these three worked on as regular boarders. So it’s time to say goodbye to Katie Mitroff, Hilary Florido, and Jeff Liu.

First up is Katie Mitroff, who clocked two early knockouts with Alone Together and The Test alongside Florido. Mitroff’n’Florido went on to make other classics like Maximum Capacity and Joy Ride before the former teamed up with Lamar Abrams and the latter teamed up with Jesse Zuke for their next batch of episodes.

With Abrams, Mitroff deepened the lore of the show with We Need to Talk, Steven’s Birthday, Bismuth, Buddy’s Book, Three Gems and a Baby, and especially The Answer. She gave us the harrowing revelation of Back to the Moon, and the most ridiculous episode of the series, Restaurant Wars. Her final partner was Paul Villeco, finishing strong with The Trial, Back to the Kindergarten, Your Mother and Mine, Pool Hopping, What’s Your Problem?, Reunited, and Change Your Mind, 100% of which are either in my Love ‘em ranking or my Top Episodes. (Oh, sorry, spoiler alert I love Change Your Mind.)

It’s strange, because she didn’t work on any of the major episodes of Amethyst’s big arc at the end of Season 3, but Mitroff is one of my favorite Amethyst boarders: she’s the consistent thread between Maximum Capacity, Back to the Moon, and What’s Your Problem?, three cornerstones of the character. She excelled at going outside the show’s usual style, as seen in The Answer and Your Mother and Mine, and it’s no coincidence she helped animate Isn’t It Love? to bring Cotton Candy Garnet back for one last ride.

Katie Mitroff is an absolute rock star, I wish her well and you should too.

[oh-no-another-idea]

30 Day Writeblr Challenge

Day 26: Self promo time! Share a snippet from another project that you’re proud of. 

Writeblr, I so enjoyed reading little excerpts from your WIPs--you guys have the best ideas! And now we get another day of more of your work? How lovely.

Today’s snippet is from my Untitled Spy WIP, in a scene where an agent named Alec Garrett is sweeping an apartment building, trying to figure out the aftermath of a fight and what happened to his co-worker. I have a lot of fun with Alec, as he’s a total fun loving dork who’s also a trained spy, and his voice just pours out really easily--which is the dream, of course!

The building was mostly dark, so Alec jimmied a window and slipped inside. A man was passed out on the couch, his tie disheveled and his shirt unbuttoned. Excuse me, just passing through. Alec located the hallway and climbed up the stairwell.

He found the right apartment and tried the door. It was unlocked. It was dark inside, and Alec started out by tripping over some weird door hanging that hung all the way to the floor. Um, Houston, we have a problem, and ugly interfering door blankets are problems at their finest.

The kitchen was a mess, furniture overturned and wire blown over the floor. Some appliance was making noise which Agent Covers would be glad to hear about. Less damage, less money needed to buy more stuff, or whatever it was they said.

He crept back into the hallway when his stomach growled and ruined everything. After the gurgle that could be heard all the way to the west coast, Alec straightened, abandoning any attempts at stealth. “Well, I guess we all know where I’m standing,” he said to whoever was still in the apartment. “Figuratively, I’m in favor of a serious amount of food right now. And literally…well, we all heard it, no need to be polite.”

There was no answer, so he continued down the hallway. He tripped again. “Goddamn rugs!” Only he’d tripped on a leg. Whoops.