#seems like the few last fans (or The N nostalgia blogs) also love this show! which is sweet

[sciencecourt]

how do you feel about the show of o’grady? it was made for “The N” by the same company

oh where do I start with o'grady...It's a HUGE inside joke between me and a few friends, for what I have to assume is around 4 years now. Somebody in a wordgirl server offhandedly mentioned it to me one time and it was all downhill from there.

I...am divisive on it? I think, since it's soup2nuts, it has the potential to be really funny and (dare i say it) good, but it's genre tends to really bog it down. Soup2Nuts isn't all that good at 'conventional' love stories, much less Teen Drama love stories, so whatever it tries to pull for a while with Kevin and Abby (and Phillip and Pete) just comes off as a big uninteresting, sometimes creepy slog. I think it wrapped up in a somewhat sweet way in the season 1 finale but it doesn't really make up for those few bad eggs.

I think it really picks up in the second season, but sadly, that was it's last. Soup2Nuts shows really need time to breath and O'Grady just wasn't able to have that grace. Shame!

As is my brand, my favorite characters are Harold and Lipschitz. Harold didn't deserve to be in that show and I love S2N characters voiced by Larry Murphy.

[demivampirew]

Kalentine’s Day

Henry x Plus-Size Reader

You can find more of my writings in the Masterlist

This was a request from @born2stronger : “what about if Henry meets reader through Instagram (we all know sometimes he checks on the comments) so reader gets his attention and he messages her.”   I hope you like it. 😊

Triggers: Fat- shaming; talking about the lost of a pet; feeling of nostalgia.

Tag list: @lunedelorient​​ @henrythickcavill​ @wolvesandhoundshowltogether​ @mary-ann84​ @desperate-and-broken​ @peakygroupie​ @summersong69​ @ivvitm1109​ @madbaddic7ed​ @iloveyouyen​ @the-soot-sprite @hell1129-blog​

"Happy Valentine's day everyone! For all of my fellow single pringles out there, you don't have to be in a relationship to enjoy today, it's about Love. Enjoy seeing others in Love, love your friends, your family, and especially yourself. #Kal #ValentinesDay #BestDogEver #KalentinesDay"

Henry wrote and posted the picture of Kal laying on the bed with a rose on his Instagram account.

Nostalgia hit him hard later that day. He wasn't in a rush to get back on the dating game, especially not after a recent disappointment with a lady, but he missed celebrating that day with a woman he would care about. He starting to imaging how that day would've been if there was someone special in his life: he'd had made breakfast for her to eat on the bed; he'd taken a stroll down the park after that, to enjoy the beautiful morning. They'd have had lunch in someplace fancy, then watch a movie and he'd prepare her favourite dish for dinner and he'd finish the day by making her feel unique. Every woman in his life was unique on his eyes, for best or for worst. That thought made him sigh deeply for what he decided to check some comments on his post. Cheeking comments on his photos was his guilty pleasure. He loved the nice comments and would laugh out loud whenever there were thirsty comments; some were a bit distasteful, others were cute and there were others that were so odd that made him chuckled.

As he was scrolling through comments, one caught up his attention. "@(your username) "KalentinesDay" you cracked me up, Mr Cavill! But I'd like to differ with the BestDogEver one; I love Kal, he's awesome, but my dog is...was the best. I lost him two days ago and I felt like my world crushed for I've had him since I was a kid. Being there holding his paw as the doctor put him down due to disease was the worst thing I've ever experienced. Sorry for ruining the mood, but thank you for the post, it lighted up my day! Have a nice KalentinesDay, Sir." He felt so bad for that person, so he entered her profile and hit the message option. "Hi Y/N. I saw your comment and I just wanted to say how sorry I'm that you lost your beloved companion. I've had Kal for a few years and I cannot even bear the thought of losing him, so I cannot imagine how must feel to lose your pal who's been there most of your life. Be strong. I'm sending you virtual hugs and lots of love. I hope you get better soon." After sending her the message, he checked her account for he saw a recent post with a picture of a lovely dog. It wasn't a mixed breed. It was a rescued dog. She talked so fondly of him, remembering the first day she met him and a few adventures they lived together. The stories warmed Henry's heart yet saddened him, knowing that his light had extinguished. There were a lot of pictures of her dog on her account and pictures of books and movies. Funny enough, most of the books she talked about were some of his favourites and the ones that he hadn't read, he took screen captures so he wouldn't forget to check them out. One of the movies she posted about was Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and he had to see her thoughts on it. She agreed that the whole Martha plot was absurd, but the thing that bothered her the most, and in her opinion ruined the movie a little bit, was the fact that Doomsday was on the final trailer, for the movie would have been higher rated from her if she'd already known that he was going to show up. Yet, she disagreed with all the hate and the thought that the movie was bad: "It could've been better? Sure, Was it horrible? Absolutely not," "If it is too dark for you, don't watch it, period. Mr Snyder understands the soul of DC Comics. Dc is not lighthearted, accept that and move on" she wrote. Henry was too tempted to like the post and reply, but he decided that it was best not to do it. She didn't have many pictures of her, but he found one from two years ago. In the picture, she was standing to a bride and she hugging her. She had a pink dress on. Henry looked at her cute smile and was stunned by her beauty. In the caption of the photo, she wrote " Ignore my ugly fat ass... focus on my beautiful sister who just got married to her Charming Prince! Congrats, babe! Love you a lot and wish you a lifetime of nothing but happiness! ♥" Henry liked the picture and went straight to the comment section and wrote "You look gorgeous. I hope their love story is a good one and lives on." and press send. He was so caught by her, that without even noticing it, he went through every single post on her account, like all the photos she was in and same with pictures of books, movies and albums he liked.

He was having dinner with Kal when he noticed that he had a reply on IG. When he opened, he saw it was from the girl with the mesmerizing smile. "I think I should call the police, I have a stalker, 👀 😂" she wrote. "Thank you so much for the mood busting. It means a lot. He brought a lot of light to my life and it's hard to have to say goodbye." she confessed, "but instead of lying in bed crying, I'm going to use that energy to give love to another animal in need, that's what my baby would have wanted, I know it in my heart." she finished. Henry didn't wait for a second to answer her, even if that meant that his food would get cold. "Absolutely! Any animal would be lucky to have you as their momma." he assured, "Sorry for that, I didn't mean to be a creep. I swear I'm nice. I'm Superman" he joked. After a few moments, the girl messaged him again "Superman killed Zod, so...👀😜 ". "Low shot. Also, Zod was a villain" he went on with the conversation. " How do you know that I'm not a villain?" she joked, "Because villains don't love puppies" he grinned like an idiot in love as he pressed send. "Cruella did, though, 👀 😂" she said; "Touché. But I'm sure you're not a villain, you are too cute for that" he explained. "That'd be the perfect cover for a conquer the world masterplan, don't you think? To have everyone trust me and love me for me to be easier to control them?🤔" "Alright, you convinced me. You're the evilest villain in history. So, I should fly to wherever you are and get you." he playfully told her. "And I didn't want to sound creepy 😂. My apologies if my humour seems creepy," he apologized. "I think your humour is genius and I find it cute, no creepy," she pointed out. "Cute enough to meet me in person? 👀" he asked. "Absolutely," she accepted his invitation. "When are you free?" she questioned. Henry looked at the clock, it was 7:30 pm. "I'm free right now if you can." Henry offered, "Do you live in London?". "From the last couple of years, yes. I moved with my mom after my parents got divorced. She's was born here... I mean, yes, I live in London, sorry for the unnecessary information," she requested his forgiveness. "There's no need to apologize. I like getting to know more about you." he explained " Do you want to go to Mark's Club restaurant? It's a nice and quiet place where we can have a nice conversation" he proposed "I think I can get a last-minute reservation since I'm a member of the club." he informed her.  "Sure, I'm going to get ready. Tell me if you get the reservations or we can go anywhere else, I'm sure there are plenty of nice places to eat where there are tables available 😊" she said. "Great, I'm calling them right now!" Henry exclaimed excitedly and went into his phone contact list and press the dial button. He was lucky enough that the manager was a Superman fan and was quite fond of him, so he agreed to reserve a table for him in the busiest night of the year for restaurants. He shared the information to her and went to change as well. He put a white sweater and a nice pair of black pants on and black shoes. A grey blazer was his coat of choice.

He asked for her address to pick her up, but she opted for meeting at the club and he accepted because he understood that maybe she felt unsafe by giving her living information to a stranger. He couldn't lie that this gave him enough time to leave Kal with his friend Ben.

He waited for her inside the restaurant for there were paparazzi outside the place. Mark's Club was an exclusive place where many celebrities choose to eat in, especially in such occasions like Valentine's day - Guy Ritchie and his wife choose that place to spend the night and so did David and Victoria Beckham. Both couples came to greet him as soon as they saw him. His table was about to be ready and she wasn't there yet. He checked for messages on his IG but there were none. Has she stood him up? That'd have broken his heart; no because someone rejected him, but because she did it. He thought that he was losing his mind: being afraid that a girl he met that day on the internet might have played a prank on him and make him believe that she was interested in him.

When he saw that it was 10 pm, he decided that it was better to inform the host of the club that he wouldn't need a table after all. He was about to get up when behind him a female voice called his name. He turned around and stood, speechless. A beautiful woman on a red dress was standing in front of him, showing that glorious smile that captivated him ours ago on his phone.

- I'm so sorry I'm so late.- you apologized profusely - It took me ages to find a cab and then I've spent literally thirty minutes outside trying to get in because paparazzi were being annoying and would get in the way for me to get in.-she explained. - No worries!- he assured her- Honestly, I was a bit afraid that I've had been stood up.-he confessed, styling his hair backwards with his hand. - Absolutely not! I don't particularly enjoy pranks. Especially not in niece people like you.- she smiled and his legs were shaking.

At that moment the waiter approached you to let you know your table was ready. Henry said "Ladies first" indicating you to go first into the table area. The place was elegant. Henry waited behind your chair and as you sat in, he pulled it close to the table. He sat in front of you, grinning like the devil. That charming smile took your breath away.

Every word that came out of your mouth amazed him for your charisma and intelligence. You were not only funny, smart, confident but also beyond beautiful. He knew that wasn't love at first sight, but he could see himself falling deeply in love with you.

Halfway through the dinner, Henry finally noticed that lots of costumers were watching them. He found that odd since he was a regular there and there were plenty of celebrities on that place that night -some way more famous than him.

- I apologized if you feel uncomfortable with people watching us. Usually, they barely look at me. They know I'm an actor, but these fancy folks don't care much for Superheroes.- he explained. You looked at him with a smirk. - They're not looking at you, they are looking at me.- you pointed out. - Are you famous?- he asked confused and you chuckled because he meant it and it wasn't sarcasm. - Yes, I'm Ashley Graham.- you joked and his expression showed ignorance; he didn't know who she was.- She's a model.- you explained and he laughed apologizing for his lack of knowledge on current pop culture. He was beyond cute.- No, I'm not famous. They're looking at me because I'm "fat"; I'm a plus-size woman and they probably can't understand why are you having dinner with me.- you said and smiled- In another point of my life this would have hurt. It did for a long time. Whenever I'd be in a date with a thin man, people would look at us as if they were thinking out loud that he was too good for me, that he could do so much better than a fat girl. Thankfully I'm no longer in a place in which I'd blame myself for their judgement. I'm who I am and I'm ok with that. They can look all they want, they don't mean anything to me.-you shrugged- But, I need to know if that bothers you. I won't judge you if you are not into me. Maybe I'm confusing things, but the fact that you made a last-minute appointment for dinner on this day is because you have some kind of interest on me and I do for you too. I'm in for getting to know each other and maybe be something if we feel it later on. But if that's the case, if I got things wrong and you are not interested in my, just tell me. It's ok and we can be just friends if you want. All I ask from you is not to waste my time. Don't get me to grow feelings for you if you have no intention in returned them.- you requested. Henry went silent for a moment. Then he put his hand on top of yours, grabbed it and kissed it. He grinned and replied, "You got it right, gorgeous."

The dinner continued with you two laughing, drinking fine wine and having delicious desserts. You tried to grab the check but he took it so fast that you barely saw it. "I'll pay next time. That's the condition for me going out again with you" you indicated firmly and he agreed.

As you were about to leave, he noticed you didn't have a coat. "I was so hurried that I forgot to grab one" you explained and he immediately took off his and gave it to you, despite you telling him that you were ok, and helped you to put it on. He held your hand to walk outside, not caring if paparazzi took photos of you and he called a cab for you. It was easier for famous people to get a ride, you noticed. He drove you to your place and walk you to the door. He was much taller than you, so he leaned in to kiss your cheek and kissed your hand as well. Henry promised to call you the next day and walked towards the car. You reminded him of his coat and he asked you to keep it safe for him until next time you saw him. With a big smile, he got in the car and after you entered your place, you heard the cab left.

[btxtreads]

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu​

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn��t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: - 

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

[shark-myths]

Dizzy On Dreams

With the concept of dreaming showing up on almost every Mania track, I’ve been itching to dig into this metaphor that Pete has used so consistently over the years. Then I thought about IOH being framed and styled as entirely within a dreamscape; then I thought, what is Folie a Deux, a shared madness, but a dream shared by two—a madness outside of reality? And remember when Pete said of Patrick, on one of his many pre-hiatus blogs, I think I dreamt him?

And then I was like, fuck. I need to write this post.

Three days later, Pete posts THIS on Twitter, framing the whole tour and possibly even the concept of touring as a dream? HOW IS A GIRL SUPPOSED TO COPE WITH THIS SHIT HONESTLY?????

So hello and welcome to shark-myths’ DREAM EXTRAVAGANZA!

Lines like FUCT’s I’m sleeping on your folks’ front porch again, dreaming show us an early romantic association with the phrase. It lays early groundwork for the use of ‘dream’ as referring to an imaginary, might-have-been, wish of a relationship that is not grounded in reality. That is not grounded in waking life. (I woke up, no luck, if you’ll permit a brief time-traveling leap to Mania—and I do devoutly believe this is how Mania is meant to be used, as a time-traveling cipher to fill out more context for earlier songs and themes, earlier joyous, unsustainable madnesses from Pete’s life.)

One of the first really meaty appearances of the word is in notorious gay anthem Gin Joints. (The Petericks definitely made out inside a crashed car; some theories place the Van Crash on the way to the Grand Theft Autumn video shoot as the likeliest time point for their first kiss, as memorialized on the cover of FUCT.) Gin Joints gives us this: We’re making out inside crashed cars, we’re sleeping through all our memories. I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive, now I only waste it dreaming of you. This gives us an early division between his lived life and whoever (*coughPATRICKcough*) he’s dreaming of/with.

Next, IOH. It’s 2007 and, in his suicide song, Pete writes, You are the dreamer and we are the dream. This is generally read as a loving message to the fans, a reading that I fully support. The definition it gives us, of the band and/or the Petericks being the dream, is what I’m going to go with for most of this analysis.

Next significant invocation is of course, Disloyal Order, the anthemic opener for Folie, their most ambitious, artistic, and personal record yet. The record opens: I’m coming apart at the seams, pitching myself for leads in other people’s dreams. (And does this evoke the stitch line from Hold Me Tight or Don’t for anyone else? Just saying.) Disloyal Order, with the boycott love/detox just to retox chorus, is one of my all-time Peterick jams. The drug use metaphor that is so incredibly linked with Patrick alone it prominently in the realm of #trysttheory. Significant is the ‘someone else’s dreams’: it tells us Pete is focusing on a relationship, a shared and aspirational happiness he can only conceive of in dreamspace, that does not belong to him. Let’s just go ahead and assume he’s thinking about Patrick. The numbness and the blurry headedness of this song also speak to the pill addiction and other maladaptive coping Pete was relying on during this time period. He was erasing himself, trying to disappear into dreams that he hates himself for having. He was sick with what he could not have, with what he was trying to make work instead—sick on reality (Young and Menace, anyone?). And he sings about how sick he is, in Disloyal Order and throughout the album.

America’s Suitehearts, of course, is played entirely as a dream/nightmare/alternate reality. The video and the alternate personas of the boys gives us that much. And Pete writes why won’t the world revolve around me? In my dreams, trees grow all over the streets. Then the song turns into the anthem of I’m in love with my own sins; you can bow and pretend you don’t know you’re a legend; time just hasn’t told anyone else yet; I’m sorry, I just let my love loose again. What do we think this song is about guys. What sin i n  p a r t i c u l a r.

And even before Disloyal Order, FAD opens with the hidden pre-track Lullabye, a song tied closely with the album art and with many people’s reaction to the stitch line in Hold Me Tight Or Don’t. The chorus is pure hope, but tinged so sad: it’s not what it seems in the land of dreams. Don’t worry your head, just go to sleep—when you wake up the world will come around. To me, this song seems to speak almost directly to the questions asked in America’s Suitehearts. It reminds Pete of the reality—that whatever he shares with Patrick is not what he wants it to be, whether it’s sex or just intimate friendship—and it also shows his hope that maybe, one of these times, he’ll wake up and reality will come around to what he’s dreaming of.

You ready to kick things up a notch post-hiatus? We need, like, the Mario Kart star song playing double-time here, because this is a new intensity level. Like, fucking grab onto something. The albums are about to transition from gay reading to gay reality.

Because what is the first SRAR single but My Songs? Besides, in the mean time, I’m just dreaming of tearing you apart. Pete is becoming bolder and more explicit about what he’s dreaming of. He writes too, now the world can never get me on my level, as if saying—even with all we’ve been through, hiatus and not talking and everything, I still love you this much. There is no dose of reality that will talk me out of this dream. All these years and I’m still dreaming of tearing you apart. The whole song speaks very aptly to the idea of secret trysting in the pre-hiatus years too, doesn’t it?

Oh, fucking Where Did The Party Go. We were the kids who screamed ‘we weren’t the same’ in sweaty rooms, now we’re doomed to organizing walk-in closets like tombs speaks to clearly to the passage of time and the way their lives have changed, how fame and age have changed them, and to nostalgia for the Van Days era Pete has always glorified in his writing. Then: so let’s fade away together one dream at a time.

My. Fucking. Heart.

As we move into post-hiatus material, you’ll notice that very often, the dreaming of becomes dreaming with in implication—Pete is identifying a collaborator, a fellow dreamer. How many times do u want me to scream TRYST THEORY ‘cuzzzzzz…

The Mighty Fall: Your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme and I’m dizzy on dreams. But if you ask me two’s a whole lot lonelier than one. Baby we should have left our love in the gutter where we found it. ‘Cause you think your only crime is that you got caught. IF THIS ISN’T ABOUT TRYST THEORY I WILL TURN IN MY BADGE AND TIN HAT, GUYS. Our love—this is not Pete watching from a closet, anymore. This is a Pete who held in his hands what he wanted most in the world and has seen it sullied or slipped away or ruined. The loneliness of trysting and each pretending they don’t want more, believing the other doesn’t either. The idea of their love being a gutter-thing pulling up associations of queerness/social taboo and infidelity. The idea of crimes and getting caught. And Pete, not caring that the trysts would never pay out on the full bid of his aching heart, because he’s dizzy on dreams. His reasoning is shot and he’s outside of reality again, so intoxicated on the moments they do share. Our drugstore cowboy. Our self-identified medicine man.

And finally, we close out the album with this: I need more dreams and less life.

😭😭😭😭😭

I CANNOT

On Pax-Am, the track Demigods (which is, imo, an incredibly important Pete-reflecting-on-himself song) gives us the question: what if it were all a dream? What is we were demigods? They’d take to our knees, raging at the half of our sins. Someone who can think about something other than blowjobs and secret sinful queerness pls offer an alternate explanation because I’m having a heart attack. If they were demigods, they’d still be half-human. They could do anything, but they’d still have to answer to the human world, wouldn’t they? And if we knew even the half of their sins…

Cue AB/AP, the Gayest Album So Far. The title track gives us I wish I dreamt in the shape of your mouth/but it’s your thread count I really care about, which is explicitly about sex. As you’re drifting off to sleep, all those dirty thoughts of me, they were never yours to keep. If this is directed at Patrick, it’s the idea that when they slip off to sleep together—in every sense of the phrase, but especially in the sense of entering dreamspace, the sometimes-shared fiction that they can enjoy for a few hours: that they are together, that they love each other out loud to each other and everyone else—that when they slip into this, it is never yours to keep. Our boy cannot set down what he knows of reality. Not even here. Altar boys (once sacred, once holy), altered boys (who they are now), we’re the things that love destroys. AB/AP is so gay and so seeded with small hopes and so, so sad. I absolutely believe that the Pete who wrote it believed he had been destroyed.

I have a lot to say on the song Centuries and the theme Pete plays with about immortality through embracing gay love—Immortals, all his references to the afterlife, all of his Pete Pan/Lost Boys fuckery has this thread—but for now, let’s talk just about mummified my teenage dreams and who we think his teenage dreams were about. The idea of legends/demigods and gold comes back here, and he evokes the concept mistake, which is a way he often writes about trysting. And: I was only born inside my dreams; I am the opposite of amnesia. Pete won’t let himself be forgotten, won’t let Patrick forget. He’s only felt wholly, truly alive and realized in those moments where they were together, or where he dreamed they were.

Uma Thurman: I slept in last night’s clothes and tomorrow’s dreams. Is Patrick tomorrow’s dreams? If you went to your own home for the night, rather than someone else’s, you wouldn’t be left wearing last night’s clothes…

Immortals: I’ll be the guard dog of all your fever dreams, I’m the sand in the bottom half of the hour glass (meaning: something that’s already gone past), I try to picture me without you but I can’t. Also, the line you pull the blackout curtains down (just not for long) seems like Patrick denying feelings, moving away from Pete and the tryst—plunging them into daylight, reality, wakefulness. Denying him at daybreak and all that Judas-y stuff. And then returning, again and again, to the shared and darkened space of dreams.

And then. And then there’s fucking Mania.

Young and Menace: Woke up on the wrong side of reality, and there’s a madness coursing right through me. Is Pete saying he’s tired of this waking life reality that doesn’t hold space for him and Patrick to be together? Is that the madness he means—that he’s ready to throw caution to the wind and really ask for, and believe he deserves, to love Patrick out loud for the first time?

Champion: I’m back with a madness… I got nothing but dreams inside.

Last of the Real Ones: I’m here at the beginning of the end of infinity with you. I’m done with having dreams, the thing that I believe, you drain all the fear from me.

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes): on the wrong side of paradise (evokes Y&M, the idea that he’s on the wrong side of something that could be so perfect and good.) There’s nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you.

Hold Me Tight Or Don’t (and the all caps here is consistent across sources and deliberate, I think—like. Pete is not being subtle anymore and he wants us to know it.) I just pinch myself, no longer comatose. I woke up, no luck. I woke up, no luck. …I want to sleep on every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out of you.

Hold Me Tight, Or Don’t. Is Mania Pete’s way of saying—I don’t want to wait anymore? Let’s not just pretend, let’s have it all? Even if he’s growing out of the idea of running away down south from all of their problems, is he asking Patrick for—whatever version of a big poly happy ending he can have? Is he saying, I’m tired of pretending I don’t love you? I’ve taken too many hits off this memory and now I need more? We were never just friends? Hold ME TIGHT or DON’T????

ARE YOU GUYS WITH ME HERE????? BC I AM D Y I N G

 Some gems from related themes for my true believers out there:

Grand Theft Autumn: when I wake up, I’m willing to take my chances on the hope I forget that you hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you.

Reinventing The Wheel To Run Myself Over (the lyrics of which are written by Patrick, so it doesn’t fit as well with this obsessively deep dive into Pete’s interiority, but let’s acknowledge it in the canon): I can’t wake up to these reminders of who I am

I’m Like A Lawyer: me and you, setting in a honeymoon, if I woke up next to you (AAAAAAAH)

She’s My Winona: Never the same person when I go to sleep as when I wake up (likely about the fickleness of media coverage and the vagaries of fame, etc)

w.a.m.s.: when all the others were just stirring awake, I’m trying to trick myself to fall asleep again

20 Dollar Nose Bleed: Who will I be when I wake up next to a stranger?

Alone Together: I’ll check in tomorrow if I don’t wake up dead

Novocaine: I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare

 Thank you for joining me for a thorough screechy documentation of Pete’s use of the dream metaphor and how I think it relates to Peterick! Hit me up with your own thoughts and theories and let me know if you’ve got any meta requests! More to come, and check out my lyrics meta and/or tryst theory tags to tide you over.

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