#seems like i didn't say how much i love them in a loooong time

[lovl3igh]

baela: i'm fighting the next person who insults my betrohed

jace: i hate myself

baela: alright, square up

[lilacwants]

I absolutely love they way you write Homelander!!! He's got me in a vice grip 😭😭😭

The brain rot is so real

I wanted to request something, you might have already done it but it dosnt hurt to ask right?

*cough cough* sky sex? Like Homelander and the reader fucking over the skyline... much like the end of season 2 except he's not alone this time?

Annnnndddd maybe the reader is terrified of heights?

Who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️

I hope this was an okay request!!! I love your work and I hope everything is going well for you 🫂

the sky is ours.

notes: hello guys! im finally back :) i know the wait was loooong and i apologise about that :’( i’ll start by responding to my asks because they’re really getting me in my writing mood. warnings: mature content. minors do not engage.

The cold night air rushed past your face, stealing your breath as you soared high above the city's skyline. Your arms were wrapped tightly around Homelander's neck, your body pressed against his as he carried you through the air like you were nothing but a feather. The world below was a blur of lights and buildings, tiny and insignificant from this height, while the sky stretched out endlessly around you.

Despite the exhilarating sensation of being weightless, your heart pounded in your chest for an entirely different reason. You weren't one for heights. In fact, you hated them.

Every instinct in your body screamed at you to hold on tighter, to demand to be put back down on solid ground, but the thought of doing so seemed impossible with Homelander's arms cradling you with such ease. His power was palpable, and even though you knew he could kill you with a single motion, there was a strange sense of comfort in his grasp.

"You okay up here?" His voice was smooth, low, and teasing, but his eyes flicked toward you with a glimmer of something genuine.

The deep blue of his eyes seemed to glow against the night, and you had to force yourself to look away.

"I'm fine," you managed to say, your voice shaky, despite your attempt to sound calm.

You didn't want him to know just how terrifying this was for you, but it was impossible to hide the tremor in your voice.

A slow, knowing smile spread across his face, his lips curling at the edges as if he could sense your fear. "You sure about that, sweetheart? You're shaking like a leaf."

You tightened your grip around his neck, digging your nails into his cape, feeling the way the fabric stretched beneath your fingers. "I said I'm fine," you repeated, more forcefully this time, though you weren't sure who you were trying to convince-him or yourself.

Homelander let out a low chuckle, his chest vibrating with amusement. "I know you're scared. I can hear your heartbeat," he whispered, his lips brushing against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. "But don't worry. I've got you."

His words were meant to be comforting, but the way he said them, with that dark, seductive edge, only made you more aware of how dangerous he was. It wasn't just his power that terrified you; it was the way he made you feel. Being with him was like standing on the edge of a cliff, teetering between fear and desire, unsure of which way you were going to fall.

"You... You're not going to drop me, right?" The question came out before you could stop it, the fear lacing your voice more obvious than ever.

He grinned, his eyes gleaming with amusement as he adjusted his grip on you, his hands sliding down to your waist, holding you tighter against him. "Drop you? Now, why would I do that?" His voice was thick with teasing, but there was an undertone of seriousness that sent a chill through you.

The truth was, he could drop you. He could let you fall to your death right now, and no one would stop him. But you knew he wouldn't-at least, not tonight. Tonight, his mood was playful, almost tender, in his own twisted way. There was something possessive in the way he held you, something that made you feel like, at this moment, he didn't want to let you go.

"Relax, sweetheart. Enjoy the view," he said, his voice dropping to a softer, almost intimate tone as he flew higher, the city shrinking below you. "Not everyone gets to see the world like this."

Your stomach churned as you glanced down at the sea of lights far beneath your feet, the skyscrapers looking like toys from this height. You could feel the wind whipping through your hair, the cold biting at your skin, but the overwhelming sensation was the dizzying fear of falling, of plummeting into the void below.

"I... I can't," you whispered, squeezing your eyes shut to block out the terrifying sight. "I hate heights, Homelander. Please, can we go down?"

He hummed thoughtfully, his fingers tracing slow circles on your waist as if he were considering it. "Hmm, I don't know..." he drawled, his voice laced with amusement. "I kind of like you like this. All vulnerable. All mine."

His words sent a jolt of electricity through you, awakening a heat deep inside that contrasted with the icy fear coursing through your veins. Despite everything-despite how terrifying this was, despite the fact that he could drop you at any moment, you were drawn to him, irresistibly so.

"I thought you were stronger than this," he taunted, his breath hot against your neck.

"You can't really be that scared, can you?"

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding so loudly in your ears you were sure he could hear it. "I'm not scared," you lied, your voice barely above a whisper. "I just... I don't like it."

"Oh, I think you like it more than you're willing to admit," he said, his voice dropping even lower, more predatory, as his lips grazed the sensitive skin of your neck. "The fear... the thrill. It's exciting, isn't it?"

A soft gasp escaped your lips as his mouth trailed down your throat, his tongue flicking against your skin, and despite yourself, despite the fear, you couldn't help the way your body reacted to him. Your pulse quickened, but this time it wasn't just from the terror-it was from the undeniable desire that had been building between the two of you for so long.

He chuckled, clearly aware of the effect he was having on you. "That's it," he whispered, his hand sliding up your back, fingers tangling in your hair as he pulled your head back, exposing more of your neck to his hungry mouth. "You can't deny it. You want this."

Your mind was spinning, the fear of heights warring with the intoxicating heat of his touch. You hated that he was right. You hated that despite everything, despite how dangerous and terrifying he was, you wanted him more than you had ever wanted anything in your life.

"Homelander.." you breathed, your voice trembling as his hands roamed over your body, his touch firm and possessive. You could feel the raw power beneath his fingertips, the control he had over you, and it made your heart race even faster.

"I could take you right here, right now," he murmured against your skin, his voice dark and full of promise. "High above the world... where no one else can reach us."

Your breath caught in your throat at his words, the imagery sending a rush of adrenaline through your veins. The idea was terrifying, exhilarating, and utterly intoxicating all at once.

He moved his face back to yours, capturing your lips in a searing kiss that took your breath away. It was rough, demanding, and full of an intensity that only Homelander could bring. His hands tightened around your waist, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours in a way that made your whole body ache with need.

Your fear melted away, replaced by the overwhelming desire coursing through your veins. You were his, completely and utterly, and in this moment, high above the world, it didn't matter that you were terrified of heights. All that mattered was him-the way he made you feel, the way his power wrapped around you like a cocoon, keeping you safe and dangerous all at once.

The tension between you both snapped like a taut wire, and in one swift, dizzying motion, Homelander had you pinned against him, hovering impossibly high above the shimmering city.

The cold air bit at your skin, but his body was a furnace, burning with heat and power as his hands roamed over you, pulling you closer.

His mouth crashed against yours, a demanding, hungry kiss that left you breathless, and before you could even comprehend the danger of the height, your body was responding to him with equal fervor. His hands gripped your thighs, pulling you around his waist, his strength holding you effortlessly as he pressed into you with a low, possessive growl.

The sensation of him inside you was overwhelming, heightened by the adrenaline of being so far from solid ground, and all you could do was cling to him as he thrust into you, each movement sending shockwaves through your body.

The world around you disappeared, the city below forgotten, as the only thing that existed was him-his strength, his control, the way he dominated you completely.

Your cries were swallowed by the wind, mixing with his low, primal groans as he moved faster, his grip on you tightening with each rough, relentless thrust. The fear of falling faded into the background, replaced by the raw, intoxicating pleasure that surged between you both, as if you were defying gravity itself, suspended in the sky, lost in the intensity of the moment.

And as his hands roamed over your body, his breath hot against your skin, you realized that maybe-just maybe-the sky was where you belonged after all.

[wololo-01]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRS. WATER!!!!

Yayyyy!!!! It finally here!! It my girl birthday!!! I'm so happy to finally celebrate Mrs. Water birthday <3

But actually that's not all I really want to celebrate and say.....

Oh boi ok long LOOOONG texts above ( there is Also some swearing so be warned too :'b) ↓

(also sorry for interrupting any of you guys!! For the people I tag, you all can just read the part I mentioned you and then skip all the rest!! <3)

*sigh* ok, I'm not going to lie here, since the last 3 years here in this community, it never crossed my mind that I would meet people as incredible, funny, creative and majestic as everyone here,And I'll tell you the truth, this fandom changed me a lot, I didn't imagine this would happen but look, this actually happened hahaha!! XD

To be honest, I had a lot of problems last year and this year too, a lot of shit happened to me and that really discouraged me in a lot of things,I had problems with my self-esteem again and wanted to give up trying anything and life as well I felt useless on several days but you guys, you all cheered me up so much!! I never had the courage to tell you this but if it weren't because of you all I really don't know what I would do :') everything was like: "No one will ever like my style" - BANG! Them find my style cool. "I made this drawing but I don't really think someone will-” BANG! People actually like it a lot “i made this fanart for them but what if then-” BANG! them like it a lot! I'm so happy! :'D

sorry, sorry kakskaak buuut also, There is actually some special people who I want to thank a lot, they are people who of all inspired me to continue and made me so happy:

@bluetorchsky & @androidcharles

YOU TWO.

Since the first time when I moved in to tumblr again to post my thsc art in a old account, I was scared to death that maybe there was no person who knew this game here and my style back then...jesus Christ"; _;, I was really about to gave up until BOOM!! suddenly you both show up in my notifications and I saw the reblog and read the nice tags you guys leave it AND- *slam table* AHHHHHHHHH/p YOU TWO LITERALLY ARE SOOO FREAKING NICE AND AMAZING!!!! Not only that but your both have such extraordinary creative and talent!! You two deserve so much happiness and love!! I was too shy to say this but now damn you both deserve to hear this!!! >:}

Blue your artwork is pretty!! Pretty like the moon and stars shining high in the sky!, your writing is extremely beautiful, like music on a violin or a piano at night or the ones pretty poems Written with so much passion, your writing is extraordinary! You dedicate yourself so much and manage to make a story seem like a book that you are lucky enough to know and read!! And not only that but your ocs, violin and accordion DANG I love how well written they are so much!! They designs are so great yet sooo fabulous and they storys is very veeeery good and greats!!!. I really hope that you continue with those Masterpieces that you write and draw!!, But not only that, but you are such a kind, spectacular and divine person, I really appreciate soooooo muuuch all the things you do here, your writing is done with so much passion and your art is so unique, Don't feel sad or anything just because you can't write or draw at some point, it's totally fine and you deserve all the time but also ALLL THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION in the world! ^^)

Katiee!!! First of all WHERE DID GET SO FREAKING AMAZING IDEAS AND CREATIVE?!?!!???? I SWEAR YOU ARE AMAZING AND FUNNY!!, sometimes I envy you a little, but I also consider you one of my inspirations!!!! Your art is beautiful, beautiful like a painting of flowers or like a clean and calm river, your style is so cuteeeee Those stick people really look like marshmallows!! I so eat your art!! >:3 (kakak sorry), but seriously you are a talented person too, many people here also like you and blue!! You are neat and I glad to be able meet you and your artwork!! (Also I saw that you also writing and it one about your au, I still need to Taste this new delicious write of you 🍽️) when you did the Toppat clan week YIPPEE I GOT SO EXCITED!!! I was scary to not be able to participate but I managed!! I have so much fun drawing all those stuff!!! The prompt You put it was really good also extremely interesting!!!, and talking about something I love so much your ocs!!! Especially Amelia! She such a cuteee cinnamon roll and a adorable blueberry cake!! I love her personality and the design Ohh ESPECIALLY the hair!! Its like a fluffy blue cotton candy!! You super cool, I really appreciate all the work you do, I hope I can see more, you are a talented, funny and absolutely magnificent person!!! Don't forget this!!! >:]

@capturecharlesau & @crown-of-roses-thsc

YOU BOTH ARE MY TWO FAVORITE AU BLOG HAHSHSHAK SUCH CREATIVE, SWEET AND AMAZING PERSON YOU GUY ARE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Minnie!!, you super cool! Like really you such a cool and amazing person!! You also so sweet and kind!!! You like one of those cool kid in the school who I look like at and said "I wanna be like she!! She so awesome!! Yep, she deserves this popularity, she deserves nothing but the best for all things" In the last year, I was really down by some things that happened, but then I saw some one of the chapter you post it and BOOOM!!! Your au is what brings me back the joy!!! AAAAAA I was so hyped about your au!!! Jesus it just so DAMN WELL writing, I love the ideas you have and the characters?? NAHAHAHA THEM ALSO ARE SOOO FREAKING GREAT you manage to combine the words anguish, violence and comfort in such an incredible way! (And snicker you too do!!) Some of your chapters were thrown out at times when I really needed something to distract me, seriously you are a divinely talented person!! And other things I love about your au is Terrence, I'm still a hater of this piece of crap but I want to praise you so much about how you wrote it!! He really was such a good and badass villain/antagonist!!! God, I've even had some nightmares involving him, he really gave me the chills, The way you wrote it from start to finish was AMAZING, I swear I still love rereading it all again, to me it's like a frollo like the hunchback of Notre Dame with a bit of the personality of Clayton from Tarzan or Ursula from the little mermaid!! (Sorry they all are one of my favorite villains), Another thing I love so much are your ocs! Not only Danny but I can also say allwork and Benz!! AHHH THEM ALL ARE SUCH COOL OCS!!! I also need to say you are amazing when it comes to writing about Characters!! I really wanna know so much more about them all!!, Danny is still my favorite (he so lovely and sweet, he and you deserve the world) but either way, I thankful for you get in this fandom :') you deserve so much loveee and appreciation!! You made wanna go back in training more cartoon styles and expression because of your artstyle who is perfect!!!! I and everyone here will love to see your next works and arts!!! DON'T FORGET WHO FREAKING NICE AND AMAZING YOU ARE!!!!

Snicker!!!! (Hope it okay to call you that)) *sigh*.....

I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE A MEDAL FOR THE BEST AU THAT IS BEING WRITTEN.

Wow, God, how can I put into words in English how good she is??? I won't even be able to describe it in Portuguese CUZ GODDAMN YOU HAVE SUCH A POWER TO WRITE SOMETHING SO GOOOOOD😭😭 think I can say you and have the absolutely talens of god and the creative of a Talented artist who deserves much more appreciation and great recognition!!! When you showed up I was having a few bad days but YOUR AU SUDDENLY FELL FROM THE SKY AND WAS IMMEDIATELY BLESSED TO READ SUCH THE MAGNIFICENT MASTERPIECE!!! I love sooo much the idea of ​​Ellie being Terrence daughter It such a cool and think I can say, a really original ideas (I mean about ellie being Terence daughter, not Terrence having a child "^^) I also adore so much all the personalities of each, RHM is one of my favorites, I'm also curious about his story and the others, I can't forget to talk about the villain!, AAAAAA YOUR TERRENCE IT'S SO NEAT!!! I also still his hater but you done such a good job with him gave the big vibe of two-face villain or the cocky anger issues one (idk what it the name for this one XD) but seriously? Meeen I wish I could could puch him just like rogue from jewel au from @smoresthehalloweenqueen ((Smore you also another of my inspiration and favorite artist!! >:3)) and CC!terrence, for me rogue, CC!Terrence and CoRTerrence are pretty good villains but make Blood boils so much just by seeing them but hey hey! This why I love villains you like them very much but wish them all just die soon (cc!Terrence was one Only these two are missing and I can't wait to see them all in hell ahahaha >:D) you really are spectacular, take the time you need to do the chapters, but I wanna to said that you are also my new Big inspiration!!

@00lari00

LARIIIII FINALMENTE EU TENHO UMA AMIGA BR NESSE FANDOM!!! DEUS É BOM DE DEMAAAAAAAAIS PORRA 🙌🙌

Akaskska sorry XDD but I serious!! I so happy to be the only brazillian person here in the fandom on tumblr!! It sucks sometimes not having someone who speaks the same language as you to talk :'''b but suddenly A SMOKE ARISED AND SUDDENLY FROM BEHIND, WIZARD LARI FINALLY ARRIVED!!! HOORAY!!!! Lari we can not talk to much since you busy with your school and I am a shy idiot but I need to said, HOLY SHIT YOU ARE THE MOST FUCKING COOL PERSON I HAVE HAD THE PLEASURE OF KNOWING, YOUR ART AND CREATIVITY ARE LIKE MAGIC COMING TRUTH!!! And this au you are creating??? É MUITO FODAAAAAA 😩😭🤌🤌🤌 CARALHO VEI TU TA FAZENDO UMA OBRA PRIMA ESPERO QUE VC NÃO PARE!!! É MUITO INCRÍVEL TUDO QUE VC TA FAZENDO!!! (Sorry back to English KAJSKS) I can't lie to you, I sometimes envy you, you are such a special, kind and incredible person. It's like I'm talking like the coolest maid ever and I think 'god they're so cool why they are even talking to me?, but I also see you as one of my big inspirations!! I know I will reach the same level as you in talent and art but I at least want to have some of your courage to talk to people and be good at drawing just like YOUU!!I also want you to remember that you are so wonderful and a very magnificent and awesome person!! Anyone who talk shit about you and one it's a hater because them never gonna be in the same way as you are!!! Also take all the time you need it for draw, study is also important I am here to let you know that I'm rooting for you every day!! I can see you Gonna have a bright and wonderful future, thank you for being my friend and also so being my inspiration

And now a really special one...a person who I am very very grateful...

@doodlethings

Bunnu?, omg I think I will cry (I already am since I'm writing all this) YOU. HOLY SHIT BUNNU I SWEAR HOW DARE YOU BE THE COOLEST, AMAZING, SENSATIONAL, WONDERFUL, KIND, AMAZING PERSON??? WHAT THE FUCK, I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU THE FUCKING WORLD, GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU DESEVE IT AND MORE THAN THE WORLD CAN OFFER TO YOU, In fact, how long have we been glued to each other? Type 4?? 5?? Or 6 years?? Oof time passed so quickly I lost count ;_; but well fuck it! The most important thing I want want to said is, YOU ARE SUCH DIVINE ARTIST AND WRITER!!! YOUR ART IS AS WONDERFUL AS A LIVING PAINTING A MUSE PAINTING, And this art deserves to be featured, every detail of it is so impeccable and incredible, and your writing? They are like a special, treasured book that deserves to be read, even if no one does, I will, I will appreciate your art and I will read your stories for the rest of my life, again and again and again, You are like a sunshine or flowers in the snow, you are my bestie, my favorite person in the world!! And you are my biggest inspiration to continue drawing, you have cheered me up all these years and continue to this day, you have the best sense of humor and music of all, your gave so wanna tips and help me a lot to deal with live and learn to love and appreciate more the things!! If wasn't because of you? Geez I really don't know but this doesn't matter, you are the best, intelligence and great yet sweetly and maravilinda person in this WHOOOOOLE WORLD!!! I LOVE YOU!! THANK YOU FOR BEING MY BEST FRIEND AND BE AND TALK WITH ME TO THIS DAY, I'm sorry about my horrible sense of humor, my delulu theories, lack of brain cells and Also because they heard the stupidest story I tell it ksskskajk you got a bored dumb friend :'b but I happy to be on your side until now and I can't wait to see you shine more <'3

Oh and for the people I didn't tag and said here

I'm sorry I can't tag all of you 😭😭 if tag more people here this post will be post only a few weeks later akajsj BUT DON'T THINK JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T TAG YOU GUYS IT MEAN I FINDA ANY OF YOU SO NEAT AND AMAZING!!! YOU GUYS SUPPORT AND LOVE THAT YOU ALL GAVE ME HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART!!! A LOT (almost everyone) OF YOU ARE ALSO MY INSPIRATIONS!!! YOU LOVE EVER BLOG, DRAW, THEORY, WRITINGS AND AUS THAT YOU ALL DO!!! KEEP SHINING AND GOING EVERYONE CUZ YOU GUYS ARE FABULOUS 💞💞💞 💅 I WANNA SUPPORT AND LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!! YOU GUYS DESERVE A LOOOOOOOOOOOT OF MORE THAN I CAN OFFER AND SAID DO NEVER FORGET WHO COOL AND BEAUTIFUUUUUUL YOU ALL ARE!!!! 🗣️📢

You knows? Today also is my birthday and there is It's a tradition in Brazil where, when someone has a birthday, after congratulations and lighting the candles, the person gives the first piece of cake to someone important, but all of you are important to me soooo...Since this is the internet not real life, I wanna pass several first pieces to each of you all!!!! SO GRAB ONE GUYS!!! NYEHEHEHEHEHE 🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰 >:DDD

Well this all I can actually said, happy birthday again Mrs. Water and Happy birthday to me!!

Also have I got this stupid idea her ajakskdkk xb

[conkers-thecosy]

Five Fic Feedback!

Tagged by: No one! Seen this floating about a few fandoms, and decided to bring it over to bagginshield!

Rules: Pick five fics you've written, then tell us about how you feel about it vs how readers have received it!

1 - Bad Blood

My Thoughts: This one is way bigger than I meant it to be! It was going to be about 5k words and the only scene I had in my head was Bilbo biting the elven guard, haha! Readers: People really seem to love this one! I feel like feral Bilbo is always a crowd-pleaser, and this fic got much more attention than I ever expected it to! - 2 - Soldier My Thoughts: I'm really proud of this one. It was my first bagginshield fic, and it was after a loooong break from writing. Even though it's a bit weak in places, I have such a soft spot for it. Readers: I ended up re-posting this one after some harassment kicked my confidence down the toilet, but since then the reception has been very positive! - 3 - Poet My Thoughts: I'm sorry to say it, but this is probably my least favourite fic I've written. If it wasn't so popular I'd have removed it and altered the end of Soldier so it was just one fic! Readers: This fic seems to be very popular, and was the first time someone made art of my work - and more than once! I remember posting the first chapter and not expecting very much, only to come onto tumblr and see random posts where folks were super excited to see it was updating! It was such a lovely feeling! - 4 - My Ego Dies My Thoughts: I genuinely love this one, I think it's probably my personal favourite. I really enjoy playing about with the idea of "forgiveness" between Bilbo and Thorin, and this fic really scratched a particular itch for me! Readers: Probably my least popular fic - statistically, at least! I've found most folk weren't into it for one reason or another, but the people who love it, really, really love it! -

5 - Stealing Moments, Moments Away My Thoughts: I wish I'd taken more time with this one in some ways, but in others it really is the reshirement fic I wanted to tell. Again, I got to tinker with that "forgiveness" trope, and have a good look at what survival might realistically have meant for Thorin. Readers: This one is a quick read, and it's soft and fluffy, so I think readers enjoy it for that reason, though I believe some found it a bit boring. It was being updated almost daily, and the folks who were invested came back to comment and read practically every time I updated, which was just amazing to me! - 6 - Backs To The Wall (Sorry, I've written six, so I wanted to do all of them!) My Thoughts: I wrote this because it was something I wanted to read, and couldn't find. It's been amazingly fun, and I told myself when I started (knowing it was going to be fairly long - even if I didn't realise quite how long at the time, haha) that I wasn't going to take it too seriously, and I was really only writing this for myself, as the most self-indulgent kind of nonsense, ever! Readers: I can't begin to tell you how utterly blown away by the response to this I've been. Like?? It's just crazy to me how much folks are enjoying this, how excited and supportive everyone has been! I've been so grateful for everyone reading, and genuinely shocked down to my bones, haha! 💛 - No pressure tags for: @fantasyinallforms @lucigoo @lordoftherazzles @domesticgoddesswriter @thatfancygirlinwhite @lauramkaye @sass-y-squatch @mintedwitcher (and honestly anyone else who sees this and wants to do it, *waves a wand* you are Tagged!)

[lilybecca1]

Hi, can I call you, Lili or Becca (or both)? I found you blog and love your BKDK metas! Thanks for sharing them.... As someone who shipped BakuDeku since 2019, you can't imagine how happy I am that at the end of BNHA, we can have so many canon moments of Bakugou and Midoriya.

See, I just got some rude message that said, "how can I ship BKDK when Kirishima have more positive relationship to Bakugou", "Izuku is not that important to Bakugou" and "Bakugou should get bad ending for all bad stuff that he did to Midoriya". Like, are we reading the same BNHA? How can you not see how special the bond between Izuku and Katsuki, right?

Sorry for this random ask. Actually, I'm kinda worried and excited for the extra 60 pages of BNHA, but how about you?

Hi there! You can call me both, I don't mind which one 😊 and thank you for reading them! I've always loved and wanted to share my thoughts and views on them and spread bkdk religion like I'm a messiah 😂 and I'm so happy to be in this community with people who see them the way I do because irl noone likes them and I can't rant to anyone about them 🤣

And yeah, I completely agree with you, like no offense to bkdk antis, but are we reading the same manga?? Like, "Kirishima and Bakugo have a better relationship", but why? Cause he took his hand that one time they saved Bakugo? Or cause he tolerates him better than anyone else? I mean yeah, they're friends, in their own way, and maybe they had a better relationship than bkdk back in the old days but the manga has come a loooong way since then. Maybe Bakugo and Midoriya's relationship was more than rocky in the beginning, and it seemed like Bakugo hated him way more than he did Kirishima, but it wasn't the whole truth and it was never about hating him. It wasn't exactly a positive relationship, which I understand why people didn't like it, but no one can disagree on the fact that they had a more special bond than with anyone else.

So okay, in the first half of the manga, you might have needed to look closer at them to see the nature of their bond, but after?? Dude, that guy sacrificed himself for Midoriya, he ran to him in the hospital, he called out to him before his death, he freaking told him he wants to be on his heels for the REST OF HIS LIFE. Like have these people only read the first half of the manga? Cause I can't imagine how they could have read the whole manga and still say that they have a bad relationship. Those people are so adamant on hating on that ship that they don't even WANT to see the positive aspects to it. It's like they chose to be a hater on Day 1 and simply refuse to change their mind and they straight up ignore all the evidence on bkdk as a whole. But then, I want to ask these people, how tf did they read the manga and watch the anime properly if they ignored 50% of it? Cause we have to admit, half of the manga is literally just about the relationship of Bakugo and Deku. So if they hate BKDK, then they must hate MHA as well, no? And if that's the case, then why are they still watching it? Why are they still watching something that they hate and then send rude comments and messages and ruin it for the people who actually like MHA and BKDK? Don't people know what "Don't like, don't read" means? Have we just forgotten about how to be respectful and how to mind our own business? Because to me it seems like they are only watching it to point out the bad stuff and then shove it in the fans' faces. Like "ha, see, I told you I was right, this ship is shit, how do you feel about yourself NOW"

And same with the fics. It's so sad to see people commenting rude things and make the author feel bad about something that they created themselves, after they put so much love and hard work into it. Those authors just wanted to share their passion and love with other people, why do haters have to ruin it for them and make them feel bad about it? They have no obligation to read it, but if they do then at least they could mind their own business and not ruin the experience for everyone else. And if they have any opinions, they can at least be respectful and keep it to themself.

And the other thing, what do they mean Bakugo should have gotten a worse ending? DUDE, he freaking DIED. How is there any worse ending for him than that?? He literally suffered the most in the whole manga, what more do people want to give to him? What, disability for the rest of his life cause he dared to hit Deku when they were children? I mean, he literally did get his hand partially torn off, plus had a disability for quite a while after that, so I'd say that was enough, his hand got enough karma. And yeah, he did tell Deku to jump, but again, he got karma for that too cause he literally died. Plus went through a ton of emotional turmoil. So people can cut him some slack I think. I also wrote about this in another post, you can check it out here if you'd like

And yeah ngl I'm a tiiiiny bit worried about those extra 60 pages. I mean Horikoshi probably won't put anything big in it, maybe just a few clarifications, but still, he COULD very well make or break bkdk. And Izuocha. Like all he needs is one extra panel to clarify that the snowfall scene with Uraraka and Deku was actually a date and boom, bye bye bkdk. Same thing vice versa. So, yeah, I'm kinda worried 😂 but I have faith in Horikoshi and I believe he's only going to clarify some confusing parts at most and reveal the ending of some of the characters that we didn't get to see, like what happened with Dabi etc. I wish he also put some extra pages on their life after Deku got the suit so we can see how Deku's life is as a part-time teacher and quirkless hero.

Hope this rant didn't turn out too long lmao. Thanks for the question tho as always 💚

[mercurygray]

I've seen a couple of writers on my dash, new and old, getting discouraged about a drop in writing requests, or wondering why no one is sending them, or asking if they're doing something wrong because they feel they're being ignored.

I don't know if this helps at all, but it took a loooong time for me to get to a place where people send me prompts. I had to cultivate it and be intentional about it and I'm really lucky that now I've got a group of people who ask me things!

Firstly, the askbox is not always open. (I mean, it is, but it also ...isn't.) I'm always very specific about when I want requests, and I try to give some parameters, like a list, or a specific set of characters. I realized that as a reader and a friend when someone just said 'I need prompts!' my mind went blank and I didn't ever send anything. So I make a special post, and I give my guidelines, and a link to my character list, and I try to set expectations about what I will do and I won't do. When I do this, it helps me set up where my heart is in the moment, so that hopefully I'll get something in that moment that I really like. And it's like a little event! And people who know me and know my characters get excited!

The heart part is important. The love needs to be there, or otherwise it's just...noise.

I'm also not above asking my friends specifically for things! "Hey, I want to write X and Y today and I'm thinking about this AU. Can you help me? Here's a list." It's like a random generator with more oversight.

On a related note, I also had to give myself permission to say 'You know what, I don't think I can do anything with this' and delete some of them. It doesn't mean I value the person who sent it any less. This is a regular part of my guidelines.

I've been doing this for four years now, so regular followers to my blog now know exactly how this works but I also have a regular tag I use for this work, and there's this body of old work that new people can look at, too, to see what kind of writer I am. If I'm seeing someone new in a tag I track asking for prompts, I usually go to see what else they've written. Will I like their work? Is it easy to find things they've done before so I can see what they're like as a writer?

I also try to pay it forward as much as I can by sending requests to other people when they ask for prompts. I know that sometimes when I ask for requests, it's because I'm lonely, or I'm having a bad day, and maybe that's where that person is when they ask. I try to keep a running list of different writers and friends' characters. Maybe not all of them, but two or three that I know I've enjoyed reading before. It's a way to know your neighbors and your neighborhood.

And this is maybe going to be a spicy take, but - fandoms now seem to have life cycles, and the simple fact is that there is a sharp drop in interest after the show goes off the air. This is why cultivating community is more important than ever. The people who give me prompts are often friends who've come with me through several fandoms, not just my most recent one.

[ladymirdan]

I've had such an amazing day today.

I guess there is no secret that my interest in 40k has waned slightly recently.

I feel I get less and less comments on my posts/fics/art, despite getting a lot more followers (and with that, a lot more unhinged hate DMs) Ive started to feel like the hobby had lost that spark for me.

I've been into Warhammer for a loooong time.

I first got into the hobby (WH Fantasy) in 2003 and I was immediately hooked. I was blown away by how cool the worldbuilding was, but more importantly how friendly the community was.

My FLGS let me, a broke-ass student, sit and paint my army in store for literal hours on end. Always so happy to see me, despite me hardly ever buying anything. And let me tell you, I was a shy and awkward kid, and they always remembered my name and made me feel so welcome.

I haven't really engaged with Warhammer online until about a year and a half ago when I created my ao3 account. At first it seemed just as friendly as my offline experiences. But recently? I feel like I'm either ignored whenever I comment or try to interact with the community or worse, get told I suck or should go kill myself.

So I just felt it was time to maybe leave, (but I admit, the sunk cost makes it difficult) The only thing I really looked forward to was the minipainting classes I take once a week.

But today I got that magick feeling back. And remembered how much I love this hobby.

I went to my local GW for the new 10th edition 40k release. I’m a time pessimist as usual and arrived 1,5h early 😅 and found out there was only one other guy in line before me, but rather soon a bunch of other people showed up.

Everyone was sooo excited to be there and I made a bunch of new friends in line.

Then I got in and ordered my box (and I also managed to snag the special edition signed book that is a tie in with the box! That felt so much fun, I have never managed to get one of those before despite really trying).

I also got some of the new Death Guard Space Marine Heroes packs. A kid behind me in the queue also got some because he wanted a specific hero (that he unfortunately didn't get) I suggested I open my packs and see if I got one and then we could trade. I did get that model, and he was so excited and thankful, it really made my day since I didnt care that much for that particular model, but to him it was everything.

Everyone in the store was so hyped, and the mood was so great I didn't want to leave, so when I overheard some of the guys I hung out with in line ask if there was a mini of the month they could build, I tagged along.

The store staff was as amazing as always and brought out not only the mini of the month, but also three other models they still had in stock from previous months.

So I ended up building 4 minis in the store along with a bunch of other people.

I met a really nice couple that was pretty new to the hobby and they asked if I was excited for the new box because half of it was Ultramarines (I told them I love the Ultra boys, big chock 😅) but I explained that there was nothing Ultramarine specific in the box and one could paint them as any chapter they wanted.

And boy, they were amazed! They had no idea that all space marines are generic models and they were so curious about other chapters and I tried to explain that there was a chapter for pretty much anything and any colour.

The girl ended up really liking the Soul Drinkers and the guy was on the fence between Blood Angels and sticking to Ultramarines :D

So my advice to anyone else that feels like the hobby is toxic, or is tired of the “my army is soo much cooler then yours/everyone who likes this sucks”, please join the real world.

This hobby is soo amazing, and it is filled with so many happy, passionate people, all loving this weird little hobby.

Over 20+ years, a dozen or more game stores/clubs; I have never had a bad IRL experience with Warhammer. I really wish I could say the same thing about the online experience.

[random-imaginess]

Recently I have discovered your Eli Goldsworth x Reader fanfics and I am in LOVE. So I was wondering if I could request something?

I was thinking a Eli Goldsworty x Gender Neutral Reader. With prompts 2 and 26. Something with how the reader has had an awful day with anxiety and Eli is there to comfort them.

Thank you! Never stop writing, your work is INCREDIBLE!!!

Hello!! I am SO VERY SORRY to make you wait! I appreciate your words so much and I hope I did this request justice! I love writing for Eli and I have a few more that I've been trying to post, so those will come as soon as I can get them done!! The intro is kind of long but I tried to at least mention him a little bit before getting to the main point of the fic. Might be pointless to mention, but I did add a 'read more' cause it's a bit loooong. Eli Goldsworthy x Gender Neutral Reader Prompts: 2: "You're not fine. And you don't have to pretend that you are with me." 26: "Can you come pick me up?"

"Hey! You need to wake up." Your mom shouted at you as she stormed in your room. Jolting awake, you looked at her with confusion for answers but was only met with her back turning to you as she walked back out. Your confusion quickly turned to irritation and anger as your forced yourself to sit up. "What's going on?" You called out after her but got no response.

The confusion quicky turned to irritation and anger as you forced yourself to get out of bed to seek answers. This was the farthest from how you envisioned spending your Saturday and you didn't appreciate the abruptness of it all. You let out a loud groan as you trudged after her, finally registering that the vacuum was running and your dad picking things up in that general area.

Something was happening, but you didn't have the slightest idea what. "What's happening?" You asked again once your mother was in earshot. "We're having company over this evening, you need to hurry and get yourself together so you can help us get things ready. You knew this was happening and you're not doing anything to help out."

She scolded you as she organized an area with paper plates and napkins and things. Your brows furrowed even further as you tried to remember what she was talking about. Something had been mentioned months ago about some work thing your father was going to be part of, but you were never specifically told anything about it. "Is this for dad's work?" "Yes, now stop wasting time and get ready. I need you to run to the store and pick up a cake order and some extra packs of sodas.

"Ok, well you never actually told me about any of this..." "Y/n, stop arguing and just do it." Your father chimed in after shutting off the vacuum. It wasn't your fault they failed to inform you about any of this and it just made you even more angry that they were taking it out on you.

Without saying anything else, because you knew it wouldn't have made any difference, you stormed back to your room and slammed the door behind you. You hated the fact that you were always the last to know about things, especially when these things were happening at YOUR house. The lack of communication completely infuriated you, even more so because you had brought it up countless of times before and they STILL lacked the consideration to include you.

Changing out of your night clothes, you grabbed your keys and whatever info you needed to pick up the cake and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind you. It felt like a cannonball of events after that moment that just piled on top of your bad mood. Maybe it was just in your head, but it didn't help that everyone seemed to be having a short fuse that day.

From the people you picked the cake up from, to people driving on the roads. You stopped at The Dot to pick up a coffee, something that was supposed to help you take your mind off of everything. Something that was intended to be that piece that brought some joy out of the horrible start you had. You tried to hold yourself together so you didn't get too overwhelmed, ignoring everything as much as you could. But you were already at a point where even the smallest thing could set you off.

The back of your throat tightened as you placed your order, staring at the scrunched up face of the barista as she told you to speak louder because she couldn't hear you. You wanted to say never mind and just leave but you were frozen in place. You repeated your order, hoping she didn't hear the crack in your voice, and you pushed forward.

You wanted to retreat. To curl up into a ball and disappear but your parents gave you no opportunity to do that. You returned home with everything and it was nonstop moving around and being told what to do and scolded and made to feel like you couldn't do anything right to help them get things ready.

And then they arrived. It couldn't have been more than 15 people who showed up, but you didn't know any of them. What was the point of you needing to be there if it was a work related thing? Why would it be rude if you stayed in your room so you didn't feel like you were just in the way?

Eventually you managed to get out for some fresh air, taking a seat on the front porch. You wanted an escape. Eli was always the first person you thought of when you needed time away. He was your best friend and probably the only person who was able to help take your mind of things.

Dialing his number, you listened to it ring a few times, hoping he'd pick up. "Hello?" Sigh of relief. "Hey, are you doing anything right now?" You bit the inside of your lip, attempting to stop yourself from thinking about everything. It almost felt stupid that you were letting everything affect you as much as it was. "Hi! Uh, nope. I'm not doing much of anything right now."

You nodded your head like he could see you. "Can you come pick me up?" You wondered if your tone sounded strange over the phone, but as soon as you asked the question, your throat dried up and it hurt to swallow as you tried to keep yourself from breaking. "I mean, if you wanted to do something? It's just my parents are having some party with a lot of people from my dad's work and doing literally anything else would be a lot more fun than staying here," you let out a nervous laugh, attempting to play it off that nothing was wrong.

But Eli was pretty perceptive, even when he couldn't see the expressions on your face. "No, of course. I was thinking of watching all of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies, we could pick up some drinks and snacks, make it a whole thing." "That sounds awesome." You stood up and quickly went inside to gather some of your things.

When you finally got to Eli's house, said your hellos to Cece and Bullfrog and got set up in Eli's room. It wasn't until you got to the 1995 Next Generation movie that he brought anything up. He knew something was up when you were talking on the phone but figured you'd say something on your own if you wanted to. But when it didn't seem like you were ever going to say anything, he contemplated if he should leave it alone or try to figure out what was going on.

"You're being awfully quiet, are you ok?" You looked over at him after plopping some popcorn into your mouth, giving a slight shrug. "Yeah, I'm fine. We're watching movies, you're supposed to be quiet." "Sure, if you're at a theater. But we're here and our movie nights usually involve a lot more talking." He nudged you gently with his elbow.

You just looked at him and gave him a weak "reassuring" smile before plopping more popcorn into your mouth and turning your attention back to the movie. You didn't want to ruin anything with the mood you were in. You were trying so hard to keep things normal and light but it apparently wasn't working.

"Hey," he nudged you again to get your attention. He wasn't going to let you brush it off now like you wanted to do. "Are you ok?" You looked at him again and nodded your head. "Yes, I'm fine." "You're not fine. And you don't have to pretend like you are with me." You let out a sigh and went back and forth on whether or not you should say anything about it. You'd most likely just end up downplaying the entire thing, but you knew he wouldn't stop pushing until you opened up.

"I just wanted to get away for a little bit. Today was stressful and my anxiety was going through the roof, I wanted a distraction." "What happened that had you so stressed?" His tone was softer now and you knew if you looked at him all of the emotions you had tried to stuff down inside you would burst through the surface.

You shrugged your shoulders, subconsciously picking at a piece of dead skin on your thumb. "Just a lot of stupid things... I got woken up by my mom barging into the room and yelling at me, saying people were coming over and that I knew about it, but I didn't. They didn't say shit to me about it and they acted like I'm supposed to be some mind reader.

I had to pick up some stupid cake from the store and there was complications with that because someone there filled out the paper wrong and I got yelled at for it. Then when I went to go get coffee it felt like everyone had attitude or people's tones were off and I know that was probably all in my head but it just piled on to everything. I couldn't isolate or else I was being rude, which is stupid because why would it matter if I wasn't at some work party with people I don't know? What would I talk to them about? That's like me showing up to some tennis seminar and talking about dung beetles--" Eli opened his mouth to say something but hesitated and let you continue.

"There's no consideration when it comes to communicating these things with me. I never know things are happening until the very last second or, if I'm lucky, a day before. And it clearly doesn't matter what my feelings are about it because I've told them many times that I'd appreciate it if they actually talked to me and kept me in the loop so I have time to prepare myself but nothing ever changes. Instead they just wake me up out of a perfectly good deep sleep to yell at me."

After a few seconds you looked over at him as he sat there speechless. "You asked, so there it all is.." "No, no, it's all perfectly fine. Just.. make sure you breathe, okay? And I'm not just talking about after unloading all of... that, 'cause I don't think you stopped for air once." You couldn't help yourself but laugh at that and you knew he was just trying to help make you feel better.

"I'm sorry, I.." "Don't apologize. What just happened is very valid, and you should be able to feel like you can openly express things like that whenever you need to. You have a safe space with me, you know that, right?" Just hearing that caused a knot to form in your throat. Logically you did know that. You knew he was one of the safest people you knew who you could confide in and you trusted him completely, but it was the thoughts in the back of your mind telling you that he wouldn't want all of that negativity dumped on him. Everyone has their own shit that they have to deal with, why would they wanted stuff added to it?

But Eli wasn't like that. He was very open and he listened and he only ever pushed when he felt he needed to. And you were the exact same way with him. Your relationship was as solid as it gets, so it was always a wonder to you why you let yourself believe that he wouldn't want to hear your grievances.

"I do, yeah. I'm sorry, I just didn't want to ruin anything and put on damper on things. We're supposed to be having a fun relaxed time, right?" "Exactly right. But we can't do that if you're still stuck in your head, can we?" He gave you a knowing smile. "You're not going to ruin anything by talking about what's bothering you, so throw that idea away right now. It's going to feel silly, but I think we should take in one big deep breath and release it and then we can go back to our gory movie fest, alright?"

You let out another nervous chuckle, feeling like you just wanted to forget about it all and go back to ignoring the issue, but he was right. You wouldn't be able to completely enjoy anything if you were still holding on to things you had no control over. You finally nodded in agreement and repositioned yourself so you were sitting up straighter.

"Ok, ready? Breathe in.." Eli instructed, motioning his movements as he took in a deep breath with you. He counted to three on his fingers, held it for a second and then released. "And breathe out." Already you were feeling your shoulders relax, realizing that you had been holding all of that tension. "Let's do it one more time." "You said just once!" "I know what I said, let's just do another one." You let out an exaggerated groan but laughed. Closing your eyes for a few brief moments, you straightened yourself up again and repeated the exercise.

When you released the breath, you looked at him again, seeing his brows raised and his dorky smile plastered on his face. "Feel better?" "Yes," you drew out the reply, smiling as you moved back into a comfortable position. "I do feel better. Thank you." You looked at him once more, smiling genuinely. "Not to get all corny or anything, but I think I would probably go insane if I didn't have you as a best friend." He gave a little shrug of his shoulder. "It's what we do. You do the same for me. You ready for more leatherface?" "I sure am!"

Eli rubbed his hands together in excitement and reached for the remote and pressed play. The energy in the room felt completely different now and you couldn't have been more appreciative of Eli.

[decepti-thots]

springer for the ask meme?

one aspect about them i love: Springer is a character who is basically in the wrong story and, on some level, knows this. Or rather, he wants to believe that; he wants to believe that the problem is that he's in a story that doesn't allow for him to be the kind of uncomplicatedly good hero he feels like he ought to be, and so maybe it's OK if he's not. He's someone who has been complicit in a lot of terrible things because he told himself step-by-step that because they were the Good Guys, because he was the good influence, it couldn't possibly have actually been terrible that they did those things. And he keeps trying to make decisions that will correct this, that will actually set things right, and it never quite seems to work because it takes him so long to understand that the issue is that the Wreckers exist at all, and he can't have the fight without the violence underpinning it. Huh. Writing that out just made me draw a new parallel between him and Prowl, actually. Wild.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them: Springer is a guy who has done really bad things, and enabled worse things. Impactor went too far after a loooong build up, one which Springer canonically managed to justify to himself for a very long time and was only able to try and fix when it was already too late. Not to mention that he turned a blind eye to the complicity of all the other Wreckers even in the aftermath. His own sense of innate goodness is what allowed that! And the Wreckers saga is, from his perspective, kind of this long trek to finding out what you can actually do about that.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: this is kind of coming at it sideways, but it includes him, so. I don't think Kup was a great influence in some ways! I think he loved Springer a lot and that this was immensely important. I also think that Springer was constructed in wartime and immediately handed over to a military guy with the explicit intent that he be shaped for said war, the main difference between him and an actual MTO mostly being that at least Springer didn't just wake up on the battlefield. Some of what Springer was as a Wrecker- willing to give himself over to violence and romanticize it as necessary and heroic, defining himself by a institution that inflicts it- probably arose from that before Impactor ever entered the picture, from what Kup taught him. I think it can be harder to acknowledge things like that when they come from the people who genuinely loved you, rather than people who outright mistreat you.

one character i love seeing them interact with: VERITY. I love their relationship so much. I think it's so important that the relationship that ultimately allows him to actually find a way to move beyond everything is a) the first relationship he really chose in a sense and b) the first relationship he forges away from the context of war. Verity, for all her accomplishments (RIP Overlord) is not a soldier. I love what we see of them in Requiem, where they've clearly been talking through a lot of his shit while they're living in that barn. They're dealing with things! She can tell him to talk about his weird robot Dad feelings! I love them.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: I don't know if it's that I'd say I want more of him and Tarantulas interacting. But gosh did I want more of Springer talking... about him. We get these little hints of how Springer has handled the revelation of who he is, we know he and Verity discussed it. But. It's so hard to get a handle on exactly how Springer feels about it. I guess that's kind of the point. But I still wanted it, haha. Alternatively, Roadbuster. If you've read Zero Point, you know we see a little of what Roadbuster caring for Springer looked like, and I would have loved to see a little more direct interaction in Sins before he... uh. Explodes.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: Springer did not really get along with Ultra Magnus a lot of the time, though there wasn't any actual antagonism per se. The problem was that Springer always looked like a real moral beacon of the Wreckers until Magnus showed up, at which point the artifice became uncomfortably clear, because Magnus always remembered a dozen moral concerns that Springer was good at sliding past without acknowledging. It was just enough to remind him of all the qualms he managed to avoid thinking about too hard most of the time.

[fangaminghell]

I don't know if I would consider these "romances" cause uh. Some of these are toxic, even when the people involved aren't even together. and some of these couples are already broken up for one reason or another. So...

Adam x Bree: Where in the process of getting divorced. They don't end up back together, but are simply happy that they're still in each other's lives. Arguably the healthiest outcome of everyone here.

Diana x Calreath: Calreath dies sorry. They had a good relationship, though Diana at times didn't open up much.

Adam x Jaern: One sided love/ hatred/ obsession. Jaern fell hard for Adam at one point and that just spiralled. Doesn't really hate Bree, I think, is generally more focused on Adam. Adam genuinely saw Jaern as one of his closest friends. Maybe in another universe, they've gotten together, but 1) this isn't that universe 2) unless Jaern chilled the fuck out I don't see their relationship being healthy.

East x Jaern: Do I even call this a relationship????? Jaern knows East has some feelings towards him, and uses that against him. East knows that he knows and hates how his emotions - the thing he knows would never become a reality for a loooong time now - is being played with. Like yeah, East had feelings for Jaern at one point, and those feelings sneak up on him sometimes, but above all else, East does not want to be in any relation with Jaern outside a loyal member of his cult/ right hand man. And yet, Jaern just loves to poke at him. He hates it. He wants to run away. But he can't. And Jaern knows this. It's. Very bad. Just an abuse of power and emotions.

Jaern x Zenith???????: Honestly kinda made for each other in the worst ways lmao. In canon Zenith is what Jaern wishes he could be, and Zenith will make sure Jaern knows it. That is, of course, if I have them actually know each other on a cult leader to cult leader status. Outside of that I still think there's some playful bitterness between the two. Jaern loves being the center of attention, loves having influence, and here comes Zenith in his idol persona, who also loves that, and thus is actively competing for some sort of public dominance. Though to the average person, they seem like good acquaintances.

Anastasia x Audrey: Childhood friends to one sided crush( Ana developed feelings towards Audrey when they were younger) to sworn enemies. Nowhere near as crazy as Adam n Jaern, but man. What could have been.

Reukra x Harmony: They dated in college before breaking up. Harmony genuinely liked the man and thought he was Forever, but Reukra....simply didn't feel much. He likes Harmony as a friend, and he thought that dating someone like her was expected but....nothing. At the time, they broke up on good terms. They were still friends at the end of the day. But sometimes harmony looks back at those times and wonders where things went wrong and if she could have done more.

Eduard x Yuki: OKAY THE ONLY HEALTHY COUPLE SO FAR SORRY ADAM N BREE. We love a t4t couple in this household. Anyway, they aren't together for the majority of Insurgence, but they are very clearly in love with each other and are too shy to really say it. Kayla is scrolling through her phone as they awkwardly flirt with each other while London is just happy he got new writing inspiration for his next book ( oh and happy for them too).

Juno x Xavier: I already said this story so long story short: Juno, Nora's older brother, used to date Xavier when they were both rangers. They've broken up- all bc of Xavier- and Juno has no plans of taking Xavier back. Xavier acts like it doesn't affect him but will ask about Juno whenever Nora is around, much to her annoyance. Bro, he's not gonna date you, move on.

Bonus: Silly and Self Indulgent but most likely not canon.

Adam x East: I don't think East would want anything to do with Adam after everything - no real fault of the man, East has just spent way to long with Jaern and by proxy, way too long hearing about Adam. But if East does try to interact with Adam, I think it would be funny if East said to Jaern that he's going on a date with Adam just to spite him. And then the man actually goes on a date with Adam. The only other problem is that it will be very weird for Yancy, who had to fight for their life against the East, who suggested Yancy to be sacrificed btw, and then proceed to watch East die. So. Yeah, maybe. Maybe not. It's still very funny.

Yancy x Damian: To be very clear, these two relationships don't really hinge on whether it's romantic or not. They mean a lot to the other, and that's what's important. But goddamit, they would be cute. And so awkward. So so awkward. Like I need you to understand the tension that's there when Damian comes back, changed and more self assured, putting up boundaries but also just distancing himself a bit vs Yancy who is trying to show more affection, trying to be the friend Damian needs, but bc of their nature they're just so awkward about it. To be clear again: This is going to happen regardless of if it's romantic or not. God their friendship is going through it. But the self indulgent part of me thinks a romance between them could be cute.

Nora x ????: This is very much not canon bc ??? Isn't even canon at all but I love the idea of a Carmen Sandiago esc relationship with ??? Being a ruins thief that likes teasing Nora and Nora actively trying to stop her. Que bickering and " why the fuck do I have a crush on her of all people". This is probably a good time to mention that Nora is an ace lesbian in this rewrite 👍

[scarfacemarston]

I went No Contact from my birth family a loooong time ago and we live pretty distantly from the most conservative in-laws so I'm personally doing fine this particular holiday weekend, but I saw your post and I'm *trying* to interact more with folks when I'm free and have the spoons, and I'd love to help distract if you're stuck with unpleasant company--I remember how holidays with toxic family are. You are not alone!

So for asks... I remembered those traditional "anniversary gift" themes recently and I think they would have been a thing in the early 1900s in America if I understand the history correctly? (I am not a historian so apologies if I am way off base.) Either way, I was wondering if you think Abigail and John would like to partake in those sort of things, whatever was established tradition, or do you think they'd prefer to have less-traditional celebrations or gifts?

I'm so sorry you've had family struggles. It sounds like you're doing better now, but that doesn't erase the pain of it happening in the first place. Thank you for reaching out. It's so appreciated. <3 As for your question:

It took a while for me to look this up because there is so little information on the topic! I even went academic and went through sites like JSTOR. (It's a vast database.)

So we have a problem to start with. This is a question about social history, which is essentially any history that is not about a rich, white, Christian man. They were written about in "traditional history." The problem is that social history is difficult to study as the "other" (that's the legitimate term) does not leave as many records. Suppose you want to write about another race, gender, working class, religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. In that case, you have to be prepared to research outside of the box and go against the grain, as historians call it. Therefore, researching anything about the RDR gang can be super challenging. Abigail and John are from the "Wild West" and were working class, so there isn't much information on people like them. However, we do have shopping trends from middle-class people to give us clues.

Anniversaries, as we know them, didn't seem to be widely celebrated until around 1910. Hallmark, a really popular card company, helped boost anniversaries with their cards. They opened up in the 1920s. The jewelry boom of the 1940s also encouraged people to buy jewelry for people's anniversaries.

That is not to say that no one ever celebrated anniversaries. Multiple sites mention Medieval people celebrating it, but it does not appear as prevalent an event until very late in the Victorian era/early Edwardian era. Abigail and John were on the cusp of that timeline, with John dying in 1911.

Now, Valentine's Day seemed to be a far larger ordeal. Many Valentine's Day cards and ads for Valentine's Day gifts exist. That has a long history and was celebrated at that time. I'd be shocked if John and Arthur didn't see Bessie and Hosea celebrate it. (They could have also celebrated their anniversary, who knows.) Same with Dutch if he was super serious with Anabelle. I think Jake and Sadie could have celebrated something similar; it just seems to be in Jake's personality. I think it's possible that Arthur celebrated Valentine's Day with Mary and later John with Abigail. (Of course, Dutch with Anabelle or Molly, Bessie and Hosea, and Jake and Sadie.)

I know that may not be the answer you were looking for, but it was what I could find. Let me know if you want links to my sources. They're nothing fancy.

[slowthinkingreader]

The Sword of the Lictor - Gene Wolfe

(Started June 7th, 2024, finished July 15th, 2024)

Wow I really took my time finishing this review. But I have my reasons!! ONE: my writing got deleted twice and I gave up for a bit, I was so sad, and TWO: these books get really fucking good a few chapters in, and honestly? I've struggled to put the books down. I've basically had to force myself to finish this review right now, much later, before I can already finish the fourth book. It gets good! It gets really good! In fact, I have to start by saying that this is by far the best these books have read so far. Without spoiling anything about my next review, I think Sword of the Lictor will already be the highest point in the series for me.

There's a part in the book, a little after Severian escapes from Thrax, where the story really picks up the pace, and then it never really seems to want to slow down. It stops feeling so much like a semi-distant recollection by the author of story, and we enter into a survival-horror scene. There's an immediacy and sense of detail—starting with the descriptions in the mountains— that hasn't been present in these books before. Several times between readings of this book, whilst I was cooking, or doing dishes, or driving, whatever, I found myself running back to certain phrases and impressions from these chapters that felt so vivid to me that I struggled to think about anything else. You know when you're just really into something and even when you're hanging with your best friends you just want to tell them to chill out for a bit so you can read? That's what I felt. The most excited I've been to turn pages in a loooong time.

Some key events that really stuck out, and I'm serious about spoilers now, starting with: LITTLE SEVERIAN!!!!!! I can't explain well enough how delighted I was with every single scene in which the two Severians were hanging out together. It's just so good. Getting to see (big) Severian, both socially inept and an asshole, genuinely try to take care of a little kid, is some of the most comedic shit I've ever read. And some of the cutest. When he's just carrying him around all the time like a little baby, because (big) Severian is so massive? When he's reading a little bedtime story to him? These sections were literally chemically engineered to have me giggling and kicking my feet the whole time. I was going to bed with a smile on my face. And you know what, when chapter 24 rolled around I genuinely don't know why I didn't expect That, it's truly so obvious, but I didn't expect That, and it made me scream out loud in real life like someone had killed my real life son. I swear to god. Everything before that makes it even more gut-wrenching. The like dilemma of whether or not to enter into a fight with the alzabo or the... weird lobotomized humanimals... ohhhhh... and AGIA?

So happy to have Agia back. She's the best. I love her. There's not enough of Agia honestly. I kind of wish she would appear with the same frequency of Team Rocket, she just improves every scene so much. And you know what, Severian SHOULD be shamed and mocked and threatened with knives by women more often. It's good for him and for me, who enjoys seeing him suffer. She's ALMOST as good of an antagonist as Typhon. He didn't have enough pages where I feel like I can reasonably talk about him too much, but man, I really wish he got more screentime. I'm imagining a beautiful alternate universe in which he and Agia return from time to time to try and kill Severian in increasingly cartoonish and violent ways.

What else. The standoff with Baldanders...... where do I start. Wait. I know. When Baldanders descends from the heavens with his anti-gravity belt, like a beautiful massive angel. I'm shaking my head and smiling as I recall the scene. Gene Wolfe you get me in ways nobody else does.

And then, when Terminus Est breaks— that's where I honestly felt these books were going to end. Because what an ending. I completely, briefly forgot that Severian is supposed to become the autarch at some point. By that scene I really could have let the series stop. It's that good!!! No marks!!

Honestly: 8/10. Favorite book in the series so far. I desperately want everyone to go read these books right now.

[felixfellowish]

My truthful, personal dog ownership story so far...

I've been wanting to write about this for a long time already but never seemed to find the right time for it. It's not a thing you can describe quite easily or just with a few words, but I decided to try my best just before going to bed. Enjoy :3

So, some background: I had wanted a dog for a loooong time. Ever since I was a kid, I had asked my parents if we could get a dog. We didn't, but we got a cat instead and I ended up growing up with the said cat and I loved him more than I could ever describe. But yeah, long story short, after we lost our cat and I had recovered from the most painful grieving stage, I started researching different dog breeds. Because shiba inus have cat-like quirks and my bf, who knows a loooot about dogs, encouraged me, it was the dog breed I settled on. And I waited around 5 years until my life situation allowed me to start the process to get a dog of my own.

As I said, I had waited around 5 years. I knew getting a dog was going to change my life, but I was ready for it. Because I had social anxiety, I thought having a dog would help me, even though it wasn't going to be pleasant at first. I was ready to love another animal again and create wonderful memories together. The moment I saw the photo of the the puppy I was going to get was wonderful and unforgettable. We drove to the breeder with my bf and brought the little baby home.

And then I got the most major puppy blues ever after my bf drove back home (we're in a long distance relationship.) Do I really know how to take care of the puppy? No one told me it was going to be this hard. Am I ever going to be able to have some alone time again? After experiencing lots of hardships in my life, I always felt like my home was a safe space for me - somewhere where I could hide from the world, and now there was this needy creature there distracting me 24/7. My mental health was killing me - I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't sleep, I was like a walking zombie and I felt like I had made a big, big mistake. I had to be honest to my folks and my bf: I don't know if I'm going to make it.

They could've been really nasty to me about the whole thing. After all, it was my own decision to get the dog and hell, why was I whining about it after waiting for so long. But no, everyone was very, very supportive towards me. I ended up travelling to my mom's place with Toru (the puppy), just so I could get some sleep. My mom promised to help however she could, and sometimes it's enough when you have someone by your side when you're feeling down.

Adjusting was hard, but I'm more than happy to say that I don't feel the puppy blues that much anymore. The word itself, "puppy blues", really doesn't describe how bad it can get, because I was having a full blown mental breakdown. Toru himself has been an easy puppy overall: he's smart and was mostly potty trained from the start. He started teething quite fast, and so me and my mom's ankles have suffered a looooot, but we've survived even that (thanks to my bf who has made lots of visits and helped me to become better at understanding dogs and different training methods). I'm still veeery stressed sometimes, but things are getting better day by day, and I know recovery doesn't isn't always - if ever - linear.

Having an animal in your life is not easy in my opinion. It's not easy to make space for them in your life and to love, because they end up meaning the world to you. And even though the beginning has been rough, I don't know, I'm extremely proud of myself for enduring everything.

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko Ch1. Replay 7

Switched to the Switch version, so that's why everything looks different.

This is the first time Battler steps in to argue and it's funny how he pushes the direction in a wronger direction.

Though yeah he's entirely right at this point, considering you know, she can't explain that because she was in fact aiding the murderer.

And this unwillingness is what's going to lead to 4 episodes of Battler struggling to understand anything until it's too late

Guess she can't keep pushing without drawing suspicion to herself, even if she wants to.

Eva felt a little bit too safe just because she's an accomplice and it definitely bit her in the ass later, Rosa's a bit more careful about this next chapter.

I imagine red flags blaring on her head as soon as Eva heard that

To be fair that is indeed mostly correct! Even if you are really grasping at straws here

Getting second thoughts about becoming an accomplice and your motives behind that decision, Eva?

You are definitely a big enabler of the worst of Eva's impulses, Hideyoshi, though you can definitely see how much Eva appreciated her family despite her faults and how that grief will end up destroying her post-1986

A bit of foreshadowing at how much Maria is ignored by her mom

You already did that Battler!

I remember this mystery seeming so impossible for me when I first played... but the answer really was as easy as the door was never locked at all. Of course, I didn't get the hint that the narrative lied to me at the time, so, it felt a lot harder than it was!

Interesting how the only 2 people to see the butterflies in this episode were Shannon and Kanon - and how this one happened right after the scene where Kanon discovers a "locked room" - I think you are supposed to look at how this scene couldn't possibly have happened in reality and look at previous scenes with Kanon

This monologue being given by Kanon is very interesting, Kanon defeating Beatrice seems to represent a 'defeat' in Yasu's mind of what Kanon is saying, that they ARE furniture and the death of the last bit of resistance they had in carrying out the plan.

Yeah I bet she's laughing her ass off at how she's gonna prank everyone

He definitely tries to, at least!

Aw, wouldn't have minded seeing these 2 bond a bit more

Jessica tagging along was probably a bit annoying for Yasu!

Seems Natsuhi is a little bit relieved they will be able to pin Kinzo's death on something else, though also alarm bells should be ringing in her head about how the culprit is probably a servant here...

Yes! Follow that line of thought Battler, whose corpse wasn't seen very well?

It's more like dying is what she's looking for Battler...

Also, this scene plays a new song for the Saku version of the game now and it's really good!

If Yasu is hearing this, they are probably very split between both the love and hate Jessica is showing them, huh? Though they might just see it as further proof they can't be loved for who they are as a whole - only parts of them can be.

Maria's probably right, though, even if at this point Maria told George who Beatrice is, they won't believe her.

Maria....

Huh, the gang locking themselves up in Kinzo's room was part of Yasu's plan... I guess Yasu was hopeful doing the risky play would force Battler to finally figure out what's going on

This is gonna be a recurring theme Battler, for a loooong while.

Battler actually gets the right idea a surprising amount of times in this chapter, it's just that he's unable to commit to any theory.

Seems Nanjo Genji and Kumasawa are all feeling guilty and remember their role in enabling Kinzo with regards to Beatrice 2

We are pretty close to the end now so I'll probably finish this up tomorrow or so, though the tea party might take me another day even if I don't remember it being very long.

[lovecolibri]

Longtime 911 fandom lurker here. I love your takes and agree with, like, 99% of them but especially the ones regarding the issues since You Know Who took over as showrunner. Sorry for the loooong message incoming but my head has been spinning over something and am curious what you think!

I'll admit that I lost most of my hope that we'd ever see canon Buddie because of things that You Know Who said in interviews, as well as how Buck and Eddie were so distant in 6A. Well, recent episodes, a few BTS snippets and some interviews have me somewhat hopeful again. And let me tell you, Andrew Meyers, who I always perceived as an original Buddie supporter, writing the finale?? For the first time all season, I now think that *something* could happen.

I've seen many caution that we shouldn't expect to see anything happen with Buddie anytime soon, mainly because there has been no real build-up to "explain" the changing feelings but also because other characters have potentially big stories brewing. And I get that, I do. But then I think about how Bobby and Athena quite literally came out of nowhere and zoomed to marriage rather quickly (and this is not dissing them, I l-o-v-e them, but it's how it happened). Similarly, Maddie and Chim's relationship went through the ringer, but we've missed so much of it (for example, break-up off-screen and then they were back together very quickly without us seeing any counseling etc.) Then, of course, Hen and Karen went SIX seasons without proper backstory.

What I'm trying to say is that 9-1-1 has never really been consistent as far as showing deep, sold relationship development. This isn't to say that they can't write good relationships; they definitely can! And in the case of Buddie, you can view things through the years as metaphors and foreshadowing and hints and so forth. But, I think that certain people expect the show to spoonfeed the audience about Buddie, or do some in depth sexuality exploration storyline, and I'm kind of doubtful. To counter the, "Well, they HAVE to explain to the GA how these STRAIGHT men are no longer STRAIGHT!" I could see them waving it away with a, "The actors have such great chemistry, and just like in real life, sometimes you fall in love with a person you don't expect to." And while I adore many things about the show, when they have to juggle schedules, we know that some (*cough*Buck*cough*) end up getting more airtime then others. I do kind of worry that many fans will be disappointed and complain about getting canon Buddie if it unfolds quickly, even though that's really par for the course.

Of course, I could be totally wrong in thinking that anything is going to happen, hahaha, but what are YOUR thoughts? Is it possible that they kind of roll out Buddie in a...not casual but not super obvious big way that many seem to expect? Knowing that the actors' contracts expire after next season and that the show won't go on forever, I could honestly kind of see them just going with it 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you are a longtime lurker I hope you are aware that I'm truly terrible and answering asks! 😬😬😬 It's the executive dysfunction! 🙃 I'm sorry it took so long to get to this. It WILL happen again.

Thanks for coming here and sending this long ask and sharing your thoughts! I think Madney is one of the best buildups they've done on the show and I didn't think it moved TOO fast because right when they started is when Doug came back in the later part of s2 and they took a step back at that point. Of course I've had issues with their story since JLH left on maternity leave and they decided to cut Chim out of the show rather than show things from his POV and being loved and supported by the firefam and he and Buck working things out because they were brothers before Maddie ever came around. Plus, after Boston it has felt like 90% of their stuff happens off screen and I hate that! I want to see the deep and hard conversations! But KR struggles (by her own admission) with arc planning, and coming up with plots, and episode pacing and it REALLY shows in the difference with how Madney used to be to how they are handled now. Yes they have less time with JLH but that just means every second you have her should COUNT and yet instead of having her there for important things like being the one on the call when Chim gets abducted to hit those emotional beats she's just...not.

As for Budde, honestly, I could live with a 3rd party confession this season though I'm a little leery of that for several reasons.

The season break gives them time to backtrack when all the homophobes inevitably come crawling out of the woodwork

I am holding out hope that over the season break the show will choose to bring someone new on or Tim will come back because I don't trust KR to tell their story (or anyone's stories honestly) and i want to see things happen on screen. I have my issues with Tim too, but he always had a really good ebb and flow to the episodes and arcs and things didn't drag out but also weren't started and wrapped up in a single episode never to come up or affect anything ever again. (Honestly I think that issue on LS is more about the show having to cater to RL and working everything around what they have to do for Owen)

A lot of the fun of seeing these relationships on TV is the build up! The pining! And I think Buck and Eddie and their love story deserve that, plus it could easily involve lots of fun stuff from the firefam! We could get one of them letting it slip in front of Chim and him struggling with the secret, and the other telling Hen and them ending up as the spiderman pointing meme when they figure out what the other knows. We could get confirmation of the betting pool the 118 has on Buddie, we could get Ravi being SOOO confused because he thought they had been together before and were separated. Like, there is so much FUN they could have with it along with all the Buddie scenes themselves and I think they deserve the time to explore all that.

As for a sexuality awakening/crises storyline I don't think we will really get one, even though it would be nice to see and easily something that they could work in since we know Eddie is in therapy. I personally could live with it just coming up in a conversation between Eddie and Buck or even someone in the firefam. I would LOVE a scene with Eddie and Hen about it actually but I would also accept Bobby in a father/son talk or even Ramon if they want to show him putting in the work to support his son when it's not as easy as offering parenting advice about Chris. If they wanted to do it more lighthearted I could also see it being a scene with Chim and that kicking off the "Chim has a secret to keep and it's killing him but he's gonna do his best to keep it" thing. If we were actually SUPER lucky we could get the 3rd party confession being with Maddie and Eddie, but the time to do that would have been 6x11 but the show couldn't be bothered because they were too busy wedging the Buckley parents into everything and cutting Eddie out of the episode as much as possible 🙃

I think every relationship OG has had has been a little differently told because each of the couples and stories are different and I like that! Bobby and Athena are adults who know what they want and go after it because they both know time can run out when you least expect it. Bobby especially saying she made him feel like he was finally on solid ground was not just adorable but a great peek into how solid their relationship was from the jump. Maddie was skittish and needed time to be by herself and figure herself out but she also needed to see what it was like to have a best friend and fall in love with them because Doug was NEVER her friend. And honestly after seeing Chim and Tatiana, he needed to spend time just being friends with her too and I love how their story unfolded. Hen and Karen start out already married with a kid so we got to see them navigating current struggles together which has been great, but I love that we got a flashback and got to see the start of their relationship even though it wasn't necessarily NEEDED, it was WANTED and one episode was able to show us so much. So I think Buddie also deserve to have something that fits their relationship and as much as I would LOVE a big dramatic scene, I think after some pining and build up with the firefam getting to have some fun shenanigans, that they will fall into this like they do everything together-easy as breathing.

[bodywyrcs]

You cannot hate yourself into becoming a better version of you❤️

I've been going back and forth with how to start this blog today, and straight to the point seems the best way.

Its a conversation that has cropped up in both my counselling and sports therapy clinics recently. I often see people who hate how they feel, how they look or simply who they are; who call themselves all the names under the sun but wouldn't think twice about using that language on their nearest and dearest; and who tear themselves apart in front of me for the shame of expecting someone else to care about them. They overflow with compassion for everyone else, but run dry when it comes to themselves.

Change seems impossible. But carrying on without change is unbearable. So what do we do?

Unfortunately, I think we've been convinced somewhere along the line that for our self-esteem to improve we need external approval. By sacrificing our own needs for those of everyone around us we might become likeable? Perhaps if we lose a shed-load of weight, run a gnarly ultra-marathon, or win a big promotion in work people might think better of us? And maybe *THEN* - once we've truly proven our worth to everyone - we might be happy! But in my eyes, that's all upside down and back to front.

You see the problem is, self-loathing is never satisfied. In my late 20s I lost a lot of weight, I got a LOT of compliments and it powered me up. But I didn't *like* myself. I was starving myself and then using exercise to make up for when I was 'bad' - to the point I used up all my iron stores and became quite unwell (and OHMYGOD I was a diet bore! Sorry friends, you were very patient!). But the nice comments kept coming, so it fed my belief that I was doing the right thing.

Of course, being fuelled by other peoples perceptions isn't sustainable, because once you've achieved one thing, what next? How will you impress everyone again and continually prove your worth? It never ends. And the need for external praise and positive judgement means when it goes in the opposite direction it feels SO MUCH WORSE. Which is exactly what happened when a relationship at the time went bad and I piled the weight back on. A new sort of punishment! And so the cycle continued!

And that's a loooong way of saying, you are not a before or after photo. You are the one and only version of you. Right now. And learning to love, or just like and simply appreciate that person is the most important thing you can spend your energy on.

Because -and this is the bit I stake my whole being on - positive and sustainable change can only come from a place of true self-care and the absolute *BELIEF* that you are worth the effort. If you go to the gym to hurt or punish yourself, how long is that going to last? How long until the motivation disappears in a puff of smoke? But if you go to the gym because you value yourself; because you want to improve your strength; because you enjoy the feeling of using your muscles and pushing yourself towards new goals...then there's your incentive, no doubt! Self-care should never minimise who you are, and the people worth keeping around will never expect you to squash yourself into a smaller box to keep them happy.

The thing is, learning to value ourselves is HARD, especially if the negative inner-voice is well practised and LOUD. But if we don't learn to value ourselves and (heaven forbid) LOVE ourselves, why would we ever invest time and energy into looking after ourselves properly? And I'm not just talking about physical health, I'm thinking about boundaries, rest, creativity, and all the fun stuff inbetween. If we don't respect and understand ourselves, how do we know what we truly *need* or what we actually *enjoy* doing in the first place?

This last month I've LOVED seeing the talk on the Paralympics and the Olympics about self-care. These highly driven, outcome-focused individuals talking openly about taking time out to improve self-esteem and understand their mental health has been AMAZING.

But you don't need to be an elite athlete to be worthy of self-care and love. You simply need to exist, as you are - and maybe do a little bit of work to challenge those negative thoughts and get to know yourself better. There is no "correct" way to do it, its all trial and error and exploring what works for you. I started (years ago) by doing a guided meditation every day off YouTube for 10 minutes to calm my head down and understand what I actually needed - there are LOADS out there and they are FREE! Writing down those negative thoughts can help to get them out of your head - then go back later and challenge each one as if you're defending your closest, oldest friend. Come up with a morning mantra and tell yourself it in the mirror everyday. Book in a regular treat to show yourself that you care. Maybe consider some counselling to get you started if you feel you need guidance. It might not be comfortable to begin with, but small, regular and achievable action is the way to go. You can change the way your brain is wired, but it takes time - and that is most definitely something worth investing in.