#seeing the Vs so casual and happy with eachother !!! I could cry !!! I did cry !!! this show…

[teamfortresstwo]

….Honestly this has changed my opinion on sooo many ships

[lady-of-lyon]

So, I made one post a while back about how awesomely feminist the show Wild Kratts was, with how its two main female characters were women of color in engineering and deserving roles of power, female villains who weren’t motivated by spite or quest for youth, etc, but today I wanted to talk about something slightly different, that I’ve wanted to cover for a while now, because I also think it’s very good - and that’s how the show portrays masculinity, in a way that’s really positive!

First, we have our two main characters, Chris and Martin Kratt. Keep in mind these two are basically self-inserts - and there are plenty of creators, especially males, who have used self-insert characters in really scummy ways - all I have to say is Powerpuff Girls reboot and you know exactly what I’m talking about. Even if they weren’t literal self-inserts, male characters, superheroes especially, oftentimes serve the male power fantasy, being just the strong, stoic, all-powerful person so many boys are told they’re supposed to be. I could get into a whole discussion about how the male power fantasy is present even when males are not (ever look through a fashion magazine and wonder why there are so few men? Sure, part of it is that the industry thrives off exploiting women’s insecurities, and men aren’t as concerned for their appearance, but another part of it is so that the guy, looking through it, can feel like he has no competition for these women - there’s a reason so many comedians have jokes about fashion magazines being their sexual awakening as kids. It’s really scummy) but that’s not what this is about. So, the bros had every opportunity to do just that - make themselves these traditional heroes who aren’t actually really good role models, like batman or what have you. It’s certainly not uncommon for celebrity cartoons to do stuff like that. But Martin and Chris chose a different approach. They’re pretty strong standouts for positive masculinity. They’re openly affectionate - both with eachother as brothers, and with their friends. They cry, sometimes over little things - most of the time when big superheroes cry, it’s ‘cause they lost the girl they loved or their mentor or something like that, only in the big, most agonizing moments do they shed a tear. But here, Chris or Martin will cry just because they’ve had a bad day, or because they’re overwhelmed and overjoyed that someone named a mantis after them! In a lot of shows or movies when a guy cries over something little, it’s usually played for laughs, or to emasculate him, but here it’s casual without being unreasonable or overdone. The brothers cry just ad much, maybe even more (haven’t gone back and counted or anything) as the girls do. Not to mention, it’s a very nice depiction of a loving, healthy sibling relationship. As the youngest sibling myself, it’s refreshing to see a pair who don’t abuse eachother with noogies or cruel and snarky remarks. When they do fight, it’s never a screaming match, and also because they had a conflict of interest or disagreed over a fact, not because, say, one of them stole the other’s shirt or is neglecting the other’s feelings. Kids, being very impressionable, get exposed to a lot of abusive sibling relationships played as normal in media, and start thinking this is how siblings are and should act. For instance, my sister (who is now my best friend and has gotten over all these bad habits over time) when she was younger watched a lot of Kim Possible, a show that is great, but has a bad family dynamic with Kim and her little siblings. The “tweebs” as she calls them are always irresponsible, destructive, and making Kim annoyed to no end. My older brother was one of the most polite, reserved, kind little kids, but she still treated him like he was a brat and a nuisance, because that’s what shows like Kim Possible taught her little brothers were. Additionally, I was always treated like a spoiled crybaby who just wanted attention and got away with everything - I was not any of those things, ever, but that’s what shows teach you little sisters are. Sure, Wild Kratts has a smidge of that, with Chris seemingly being the stereotype of the know-it-all little sibling, but instead of being constantly looked town upon for being too “perfect” like with Hailey Long in American Dragon, Martin often praises his brother for his abilities. Sure, Martin gets annoyed when Chris tries to correct him on things, like in the episode Wolf Hawks, but everyone else does too, so it feels more like a take-down of mansplaining than a sibling spat.

I talked too in the feminist post about how refreshing it is that Chris and Martin more or less willingly put themselves under the authority of Koki and Aviva, two women of color. I don’t think it’s possible to say any one character is the “leader,” they all work as a evenly balanced team, but it’s safe to say that Koki and Aviva make the more responsible decisions. The bros try to get out of their calls a few times, but the show plays it more like they’re being irresponsible, and less like they’re renegade cool dudes who don’t take nothing from nobody, especially not two girls. They are pretty much always punished via karma for their reckless choices, most especially in To Touch a Hummingbird, where their arrogant attitudes blow up in their faces rather spectacularly. We also never see the narrative most present in sitcoms, where the male leads mess up and go out of their way to cover it up and ultimately gets away with it - after all, you have to root for them, right, because sure they messed up and had no consequences, but aren’t they just so lovable? No, here Martin and Chris always have to fix their wrongdoing, and it’s always deserved when they get comeuppance. Another aspect of the show I like is that, many times, when the bros get captured or are in peril, they are saved by the women - and most refreshing of all, there’s never a moment of “wink wink nudge nudge wow I can’t believe I had to be rescued by a GIRL” or even “wow you saved me you’re pretty good honey guess I shouldn’t have underestimated you, you go girl!” No, when the girls save them, it’s just - you know, relief? Because they were saved? It’s never a scenario played as an exception, or any more dire than when the bros need to rescue eachother. The bros are genuinely happy to have them as teammates. The show even did the standard “boys vs girls” episode in the form of When Fish Fly - but instead of being actually girls vs. boys, it’s engineers vs. adventurers. There’s nothing really gendered about it - the girls happen to be engineers, and the boys happen to be adventurers. And the episode doesn’t end with the boys being “wow gosh darn I shouldn’t have doubted you girls are better at everything,” it’s a mutual agreement that both parties have hard jobs. Basically, the bros are very naturally respectful of women. That plays more into their feminist narrative too, but either way, it’s refreshing.

Then, we have Jimmy! Jimmy, the lovable gamerboy pizza man. At first glance Jimmy seems like the stereotypical cowardly, pathetic, emasculated loser. He’s frightened of most things, as of yet has no power suit, and he BAKES for crying out loud! But none of these things are framed as terribly bad traits. Sure, we laugh when he screams and runs from an animal, but though it happens over and over, the crew doesn’t get sick of it. They don’t berate him or belittle him because he’s so gosh darn cowardly. There’s a great scene in Rattlesnake Crystal where Jimmy has to deliver something to the bros alone, in the middle of a spooky desert. He is terrified the whole time, sprinting off after he delivers the goods. When Martin and Chris run into him, they don’t laugh at him for being spooked, they just greet and then bid fair well to their friend. To them, this is just Jimmy, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Jimmy isn’t coddled, but he is reassured many times that he’s a valuable member of the team. I love that little message, that you’re just as important of a person even if you can’t do as much or have greater limits. When his friends do try to get him over his fears, it’s not because they have to, that the day will somehow be ruined by Jimmy’s incompetence p, but because they’re his friends, and want him to experience fun and wonderful things that he would otherwise miss out on. But what Jimmy CAN do is just as important! Jimmy is a gamer, which in a lot of shows, is portrayed as a lazy, useless, mindless hobby. But here, because he plays video games, it makes him essential for piloting the ship and teleporting important items. There’s always the joke that video games improves your hand/eye coordination, but recent studies have shown it has much better effects. It can make you much better at keeping track of multiple moving objects and processing technical but variable information- two traits which, fittingly enough, are really really important for air traffic controllers and airplane pilots! He also demonstrates a lot more courage behind the wheel of the Tortuga, which makes sense - in an impersonal setting, he would have more sense of calm and control and courage, because it’s so similar to a video game world. It’s not all too different with how I feel more emboldened to pick fights with people on the internet, but get crazy anxious if a real person so much as looks at me. So Jimmy’s love of video games isn’t because he’s irresponsible, it has real benefits. A quick last point - Jimmy also eats a lot, but they thankfully don’t make him fat or greedy or anything like that. He never takes food from people, he actually bakes, and shares it with others! Having the baker be a boy is a lovely touch.

I might do another post about the toxic masculinity of the two villains, (or four villains, I guess, if I wanna discuss the minions) but I’ve got other work to do, and this post is long enough already, so I’ll get around to it later. I’ll sum it up with this - Wild Kratts is a show that teaches boys it’s not only ok to be kind, but essential. The brothers protect defenseless animals, advocate for things “icky” and “weird,” like bugs or snakes or worms - not because they’re boys, and boys like icky things, but because they genuinely see the beauty in all life, and are encouraging us to slow down and do the same. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world not by being the strongest or smartest or coolest, but by looking after those who are exploited and vulnerable, who are essential to the world, even if they can’t always do everything. In Wild Kratts the only weaknesses a man can have isn’t what he can’t do, but what he does do that he shouldn’t have. Sure, it’s a cute show about two funny guys who have cool powers, but it’s also a show about accountability, compassion, respect and trust. The show says “boys will be boys” in all the right ways - Martin is a lovable goof with a heart of gold, but he still has to get his act together when he messes up, and he’s still creative and smart and openly sensitive. Chris is a bit of a know-it-all show-off, but he can also mess up as much as his brother, and is still bold, brave, adventurous, and can put his money where his mouth is. Jimmy is a cowardly, napping, eating machine video-gamer, but he’s still a valued member of the team, has incredible skills and talents, and will always help his friends, even if he is really, really scared. It is so important to have role models like these, in a world dominated by unhealthy machismo. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world - both animated, and real.

All they need now is a canon queer character, and I’ll stan them forever! My money’s on Aviva!!

[datingadviceonreddit]

Here’s a little back story: My best friend started dating this new guy that she met at a club, which was pretty funny because she didn’t even want to go to begin with but I begged her to come with me and a group of friends.. After a couple weeks, they decided to go clubbing again expect she asked me to go with her, so she wouldn’t be the only girl among all his guy friends. I really didn’t expect much, I was just going to keep her company and maybe just have some drinks. I wasn’t expecting to meet no guys especially because I had a 3 year off & on relationship with my ex. When we arrived at the club her new bf ”Tony” introduced me to his friend “Erick”. I really didn’t think nothing of it, he just seemed like a cool person that was casually hanging out at our table.After an hour, I was OVER IT. My Bff was all up on her boy and I was there basically by myself, playing on my phone so I wouldn’t look like such a loser. “Erick” could probably tell that I was bored out of my mind, The beginning was good, we went on plenty of cute dates and I was really starting to like “Erick”, he wasn’t exactly the type of guy I went for but we had so much in common and we began to get closer and closer. It was the first time in a while where I was genuinely happy. My mother was really happy that I broke the cycle of getting back with my ex but It started to go down hill once he began asking to see pictures of him but I always found a waybecause he walked over and handed me a drink. He was so down to earth a we basically talked until the club closed. After buying me flowers, we exchanged and we both agreed to see eachother again.My parents have never had an issue with me dating anyone, unless it was someone they approved of, and this is where it started getting tricky.. My family was this image of who they want me to be with: Tall, Fair Skin and Attractive. And if they won’t fall under those categories, they’ll basically rip this person apart. So that’s the type I want for, because subconsciously I felt like those were the only guys I felt I was “allowed” to date. My mom was happy that I moved on from my ex but it started getting tricky when she asked for a pic. She knew was up because every time I would start dating someone the first thing I would do (looking for approval?) After her confronting me about it, I told her the truth and showed her pictures of him. I got the reaction I expected, she shut him right down. She couldn’t imagine why a “beautiful” like me would ever go for a guy like that. It broke my heart.. But i didnt expect nothing more from her, but I tried to convince her that the pictures didn’t do him much justice, so she said she wanted to meet him in person. One of my coworkers daughters was having a birthday party so I thought it would be the perfect opportunity for them to meet. As the days got closer and closer, I got so nervous. I really wanted to go well so that I could continue to see this awesome guy. The day came and well that’s when the glass shattered..My mom saved her feelings until we got home. My mom was so upset, and I had never seen her act as nasty as she did then. I tried to explain to her that regardless of what she thought I was going to see this guy but she wasn’t having it. She basically told me that she wasn’t going to have my back (she’s the liberal parent) and she wasn’t going to allow it. To make matters worse, she described him as a total monster to my father. I was in a hole and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to stop seeing this guy. He was different yes, but more than just a physical way. He was kind, and respectful.. And shared the same morals and goals as me. My mom didn’t talk to me for about a month, she was so mean to me, she said things like I was cursed, or that I must be so desperate but I didn’t dare to tell “Erick” because I didn’t want to hurt him.I cried, and I continued to fight for this, and I just told “Erick” that my parents were becoming more strict because I was dating some new but that wasn't the case.. He just went along with it and stuck by my side.I came to a realization, I wanted to be happy.. Even if they didn’t approve. I was really falling for this guy. I was tired of pleasing other people first and bring myself second. I made sure to make that very clear to my parents.. Eventually they just gave up, they realized they couldn’t do anything about it so they just let me be, but they continued to give me obstacles like they gave me weird curfews? (I’m 21 btw). I took it as a win! They might not be 100% but at least I knew they wouldn’t be on my back about it constantly. Between our crazy work/school schedules, me and “Erick” were determined to make it work. We would see each other 1-2 a week for a couple hours and Sundays we would spend the whole day together. It wasn’t what we wanted but we were willing to deal with it because we were both head over heels for each other.Like any relationship we’ve had our problems, Trust was always a big issues from both parts. I’m not going to lie, when we first started talking I didn’t really take it seriously and I would go out with other people and do whatever I wanted but then caught me lying about texting someone (which was before we officially started dating) He wanted to end things, and I couldn’t bare to loose him. I had never begged someone to stay like I did to him. I had fought so hard and I didn’t want to loose him over a stupid mistake. When he forgave me, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to do anything that would put this relationship on the line again even if that meant having no male friends (like he asked)“Erick” has many friends that he knows the clubbing scene. He has a very cool humble personality that everyone gravitates towards.. Especially girls. But since it made him uncomfortable for me to have male friends, I told him I felt the exact same way about him having female friends and he respected that. There was this one time when he was talking me home before going to work, that he received a call from an unknown number. It was a girl, and he basically told me “it was a friend” but when she asked him what he was doing he said “on my way to work” instead of saying “with my girlfriend” and that really bothered me.After having a huge arguement, I got over it though because he’s always showed he that he loved me regardless of what's going on with actions and words. He would always put me first and whenever he would go out he would always make sure I was with him. There was never a doubt that he didn’t love me. I was the first girl I brought to his family, I became very close with them and I was at their house every sunday.Over time we constantly, became super controlling over each other.. I’m guessing because we both didn’t want to be hurt since we loved each other so much. Although we have been together for less than a year, no one has showed me the type of love he has showed me. I was willing to cut ties with my parents, who have gave me everything, in order to be with the man I love. My parents would hate when I would tell him what I was doing, or send him pictures of what I was doing they would say “oh you guys act like you're married and that’s not okay..” but I didn’t care, I loved the fact that we would keep each other on check.. It was mutual. It felt like the other person cared.One Sunday morning when he picked me up from my house to have breakfast before starting our day, I just decided to reach over and grab his phone he didn't notice because we have the same phone case but he would probably ask me what I was doing but we usually check each other social media because of the past problems but I didn't expect to find anything but the first thing that popped up was his messages.. he was having a conversation with one of his close friends where he stated “I'm going to make an excuse to Leslie so I can go out.” after his friend had invited him to go clubbing.which didn't seem like him because we were always on the phone but it made sense because at night before he said he was going to sleep early so that he wouldn't feel so tired picking me up on Sunday. I threw his phone and I started crying and I couldn't believe what I saw but I felt ridiculous and he immediately pulled over. He explained to me that it wasn't what it looked like, that he just dropped off a friend but I am clearly not born yesterday. Was he living the secret life all along? I didn’t understand what was going on it was a slap in the face. I got out of his car but he locked me in and was crying and asking me to not leave and to forgive him but I didn't want to hear because I felt so hurt. I told him I hand me over the phone again because I wanted to continue reading the messages and he what was fighting it and finally I came to message of him and a girl talking and she had asked him why he blocked her on social media and then they just had a conversation and then somewhat made plans to hang out.I have never felt so broken how can my perfect relationship crash. I fought so hard for this.. I got out of the car and I tried to walk home but he begged me to let him take me home. It broke my heart to see him the way he was.. I had never seen him cry in so much pain but then I realize he's only crying because he got caught.when I got home my mother was mortified to see the bruises on my arms and the tears in my eyes she asked me if I was in a car accident and I gave her a summary of what happened she thought he hit me but Just i tried to explain to her that he didn’t and she even said to call the cops. All he was doing was trying to keep me from jumping out of the car.my mother then took me over to his house to drop off all his stuff and his mother was waiting outside for me and she asked me if he caused those bruises on me.. I told her he didn't hit me. They were there because he didn't want me to get out of his car but I didn't make it OK for him to put his hands on me and not let me leave.Erick is a good guy and I know he would never hurt me. He would never put hands on anyone that's just the type of person he is. I know he did grab me but it was because he was concerned about me leaving because he didn't want me to leave. when I got home I told my dad everything and he was upset but he was more happy than anything because that's clearly not what he wanted me to be with. I blocked him off of everything I didn't want to know anything the whole afternoon I just cried and cried like it that was a mourning a death.that Monday night I couldn't take it and I called him when I heard his voice I broke into tears and I just wanted an explanation and I wanted to know why? And what else he hid for me. he told me that that wasn't the first time he lied to me in order to go out with his friends and you had danced with a girl twice (salsa). he swore to me he never cheated though in a weird way I believe him. he said that his friends were constantly bagging on him about not going out anymore and being too into his girlfriend that he just wanted to stop them. he begged me to take him back he told me over and over again that I knew that he love me and that he made a mistake. I told him that I would never forgive him because there's many girls that have his number and I would never be comfortable and he has to many girls on a social media, although he didn't talk to them I just didn't want to be involved anymore.other than that my parents would never allow it.. if things are bad bad before things are Worse than ever. They threatened to kick me out if they ever found out I started talking to him again.All he did on the phone was cry and he told me that things would be different in that he would delete everything on social media, change his number. He told me he was going to TRY, until his heart told him to stop trying. That he was going to make me fall in love with him again. And that he should have never listened to his friends because hes always respected them when they were in relationships. He said all he needed was me, family and his close friends because i never did anything wrong and because I was the “one” and if my parents cant allow it, he would want me to move in with him.Erick is not one to just say things and not mean it. Other than this he never really let me down he's always been there for me and I can truly say that I was in love with him but these actions made me really think if I didn't catch him, would this continue to go on? People don’t change.Is it worth going against my parents? Who have given me everything for a guy that I love with all my heart. I’m clearly not ready to let go..I need the blunt truth, no sugar coating please, I need help sorry for the typos.. I can't sleep and It's pretty late. via /r/dating_advice