#seeing something that makes my whole psyche recoil happens like once a week at least

[teaandinanity]

The worst part about having characters I lovingly hc as ace-spec is that generally other people do not agree which means at least once a year I wind up tripping over something that makes me want to curl up in the fetal position in the shower.

[tiaraofsapphires]

my satellite (shine on me tonight)-Chapter 3

Soooo I’m back with an update (within a week of the most recent update but don’t get used to it lol)

Chapter 3: Convergence

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Sara couldn’t stifle a laugh, which was an odd thing to do flat on her back with Jaal pressed between her legs.

“You know, I might’ve lied,” she giggled, “You might be able get me pregnant again while I’m still pregnant.”

He rolled his hips in a way that really ought to have been illegal and her laugh turned quickly into a moan.

When Jaal wanted to celebrate, he really did mean celebration. Sara could bet it was only for her sake that he wasn’t shouting and running around the Tempest telling everyone in existence that Sara was pregnant, that he was going to be a father.

This was nice, just the two of them, well, the three of them. There was never enough time for privacy in almost a month. They had to make up for the four days of near-absolute privacy, meaning working double-time and keeping their hands off of each other.

And then there was all that wasted time she spent keeping him at arm's length.

This wasn’t just a celebration, this was a recommitment. And Sara put her whole heart into it.

She hooked her legs around his hips to pull him closer.

He was so good to her, for her. Never selfish, always exploring and finding new ways to make her feel good. She wanted to fall into him.

“Jaal,” she whispered.

He rubbed tiny circles on her hips as he kept her pressed to the mattress. He was doing all the work, looming over her, pumping into her with a constant rhythm.

“You are exquisite,” Jaal said.

He pressed a trail of kisses down her throat until he stopped to tuck his face in the space between her neck and shoulder.

“The mother of my child.”

She smiled at that. It was something she loved hearing and probably would never get tired of hearing.

Her fingers roamed over his back, over the folds in the back of his head. She was rewarded by a jarring thrust, grinding and perfect.

Jaal’s breath washed over her skin, labored. She felt surrounded, all muscle and fragrance.

If what she read on pregnancy—and she did a lot of that in a frantic scramble for information—was correct, there might come a time where hormones would have him at her beck and call for sex. That would be fun. She couldn’t call it revenge, how could it be revenge if they both enjoyed it?

One day, she would be too big for them to have sex like this. It would be like having sex with a watermelon between them.

They would have to improvise. Maybe, he would turn her to her side and press against her back. Her stomach clenched at the idea, drawing a whimper out of her mouth.

She looked up and their eyes met. Jaal’s pupils were blown wide and his cheeks were colored with a blush.

He was beautiful.

Sara braced herself on her arms, leaning up to kiss him. Jaal licked into her mouth, the kiss immediately passionate and filthy.

When Jaal’s hand slipped between them, it was over.

Sara came with a shiver, almost curling forward with it. Jaal fell off the precipice shortly after, his release dripping out of her folds.

He kissed her everywhere he could reach as pulled out. The hand not bracing him over her didn’t leave where it rested on her stomach, like he didn’t want to let go.

“I can see it now.”

Gentle and warm, skimmed over her abdomen.

“Full with child, our child.”

She sighed, satisfied, boneless.

She said, “I love that thought. It’ll take a while, though.”

He chuckled and kissed her forehead.

“The wait will be worth it. Our child will be beautiful, just like you.”

She blushed. She never got used to that, being told she was beautiful.

He eased off of her and flopped next to her.

They were quiet for a while, just listening to each other breathe.

“We have to tell my mothers. And your brother. And the rest of the crew.”

She sighed, drooping against him.

“We do. I just...don’t want to go too quickly with this. SAM said—”

She tucked her face against his chest. There was the fear again, chasing the numbing buzz of her orgasm almost instantly.

“He said that the first 3 months are the most dangerous. It’s only been half a month. It’s why I didn’t tell you right away.”

Yeah, the post-coital bliss disappeared, like it never happened. She wasn’t sure if being super emotional was a symptom of her pregnancy or what. She had assumed it was too early for that sort of thing.

Her mouth turned in a trembling frown, glad her face was still close to his chest so he couldn't see her expression.

“You were—are afraid.”

His hand cupped her chin, pulling her back until he could see her face. She bit her lip and forced down the tears that wanted to spill over. Tears of fear, not happiness.

She laughed with a mirth she didn’t feel.

They were just getting right to the core of this, weren't they?

“I’ve been afraid since SAM told me. There’s no science, no precedence for this. We’re flying blind. We don’t—there’s no certainty that this will work out.”

He sat up to lay on his back, collecting her until she rested on his chest. His arms wrapped around her, like he was an anchor, something constant, something that was never going to leave.

“Have hope, Sara. You are strong. You are the strongest person I know.”

She smiled shakily. SAM had said something similar, but it felt different coming out of Jaal's mouth.

“Our child will live. I know it.”

The words rumbled in his chest, a visceral promise. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“But if you don’t want to tell everyone now, I will respect your wishes.”

“We could tell a few people,” Sara relented hesitantly, “Scott. Your mother Sahuna. Maybe the crew.”

Jaal chuckled, something she felt as much as she heard.

“Once my mothers know, all of Havarl and Aya will know and soon the entire cluster will know. They get very excited about grandchildren.”

She could imagine. Their child was going to be loved. Not just by the Tempest crew, but by an entire family on Jaal’s side.

It was a comforting thought.

“Okay,” she conceded, “How about we give it two weeks. Then we tell everyone.”

His arms squeezed around her.

“Together?”

“Yeah. Together.”

Silence fell again and Sara thought Jaal had fallen asleep before he sniffed with distaste.

“I don’t like the idea of telling those politicians of yours.”

That elicited a grin. He had his opinions of many things, never afraid to tell them plainly to her. He had his opinions on the Nexus leadership, often overlapping with hers.

Sara mused, “Kesh and Kandros are probably the best to tell first on the Nexus. I don’t want to have this conversation with Tann or Addison.”

She shuddered at the idea. Tann would immediately call for a replacement human Pathfinder before the whole the announcement left Sara’s lips and Addison would likely look down on her like she was some irresponsible teenager who got herself knocked up.

Sara was twenty-two—nearly twenty-three—and carried the fate of a fucking star cluster on her shoulders. She wouldn’t stand to be patronized.

Those two could find out via the grapevine for all she cared.

She lifted her head to lightly peck the skin she was lying on before resting again.

“I should tell Lexi, shouldn’t I? Before anyone else. Like, soon, today.”

She didn’t actually move to do so and Jaal didn’t move where his hands wrapped around her. In fact, they tightened a bit more.

“Yes. But, later. You are tired, my love, and I wish to hold you for a few more hours.”

…

She slept, not realizing how tired she was until she rested in Jaal’s arms.

After waking up and showering, Sara went to the med-bay. People saw her go in, but there was no reason for anyone on the Tempest except for Jaal to think anything out of the ordinary of it.

A check-up, a psych-eval. They could hypothesize all they wanted.

Needless to say, Sara was nervous. The whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing made it so it was unethical for Lexi to say anything outside of the med-bay walls. But she had no idea how the asari was going to react to the news.

She found the doctor alone, poring over one report or another, and let the door close behind her.

“Hey, Doc. Can I talk to you for a moment?”

Lexi, accommodating as always, set down her datapad and turned her full attention to Sara.

“Of course. What can I help you with?”

Sara shifted where she stood.

“You know a while ago I asked you about a stomach bug?”

Lexi didn’t need to look at a datapad to remember. She only had a handful of patients and a good memory. She could probably recall every injury Sara ever had.

“A stomach virus, yes. Are you still having issues?”

Nerves, again. Heartrate increasing, even as SAM tried to prevent a panic attack.

“Um. It’s sort of related. I—never was sick to my stomach. I had SAM alter your scans and my biology to make it look like I had a virus.”

Sara watched as anger reached Lexi's eyes, almost instantly.

“You what?”

Fuck, Sara really should’ve seen that coming.

“I—”

There was no stopping the asari doctor now. She was on a roll.

“Do you know how dangerous that is? I could've prescribed a drug you didn't need!”

Sara opened her mouth again, only for Lexi to barrel on.

“So, now SAM can make it look like you’re sick? He could make you look like you’re well and nobody would be the wiser. That’s dangerous and irresponsible.”

Boy, did Sara regret ever opening her mouth.

“Can I at least tell you why I did so in the first place?” Sara asked.

Lexi crossed her arms, the picture of discontentment.

“Do tell. It better be good.”

Best be out with it.

“I’m pregnant.”

Oh boy, that got Lexi to shut her mouth, with anger morphing to shock with such speed it was almost funny.

“You’re what!?”

Sara winced.

“Holy shit, keep it down! I don’t want the entire fucking ship to know, alright?”

Lexi was in her personal space almost immediately, shock turned to utter glee. Sara recoiled a bit.

“Does Jaal know? Oh, Goddess, this is amazing. Unprecedented.”

“Just you and Jaal and SAM know. I was planning on announcing it to more people, family, the rest of the crew, the Nexus, in a couple weeks. So, don’t say anything to anyone, okay?”

Lexi was clearly offended by that.

“Of course, I won’t say anything! What kind of doctor do you take me for?”

Sara held up her hands placatingly.

“Alright. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

Now, there were four who knew. Eventually the whole cluster would know. A pregnant Pathfinder would be prime gossip.

“Do you know how far along you are?”

She reached for her datapad and started tapping away, probably making a file for the child.

“SAM told me sixteen days ago when the—the fetus implanted, or whatever.”

Lexi nodded.

“Tack on maybe a week between conception and implantation. Scans will tell me more.”

There were a hundred more questions that Lexi could ask, and all of them were in a tangle in her mouth. That much was clear. It was funny to watch, Sara supposed.

“Scans, huh? This doesn’t mean I’m suddenly your guinea pig for the foreseeable future,” Sara said.

“Oh, yes it does.”

Lexi spoke over Sara’s groan, “As the Tempest doctor, I have a prerogative to keep you, and now your child, alive. And that means you, Sara Ryder, are staying right here until I can finish my tests.”

Sara put on a pout, more for show than anything else. But there was little heat to it. As long as nothing Lexi did required hurting

They were in there for two hours.

Lexi didn’t call any red-flags, said the heartbeat was strong, that structures were forming along roughly how they ought to be.

“In a week, we’ll do a karyotype. Just to make sure,” Lexi advised, at the close of their meeting.

Sara nodded. She didn’t really have a choice but to agree.

Sara, for a moment, wished Jaal was human so that it wasn’t really necessary for all the poking and prodding and worrying.

But then she started trying to imagine what their child would look like—perhaps pink-purple skin and her eyes—and figured that it would be worth it in the end.