#seeing my tolerate it edit be the one
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it’s actually so wild to me that this fairly quirky YA type show gave both of its main characters deaths that can, in one way or another, solidly be considered hate crimes. they were both flat out murdered as a result of being A) gay and effeminate or B) brown (south asian, specifically) and you could argue whether or not those kids thought of it that way in the moment or whatever but the bottom line is that they would not have been in the situations that killed them if they weren’t of their respective minorities. like legitimately that is a ballsy choice for this kind of netflix show, let alone for the two Main Characters, and i respect it big time
#rambling#i think about this a lot#you could brush charles’ off as a hate crime by proxy since it was in response to him Stopping a hate crime#but that would be stupid. like you think what happened to him would’ve happened if he was white? doubtful#as a mixed person the way i see it is that in that moment- when he protected that pakistani kid- he went from being tolerated#by being/acting just white enough and with enough other jock traits to sort of fit in amongst them#to all at once proving to them that no- he is in fact The Other. he isn’t one of us he’s one of Them.#and as such what happened to him would’ve been a bonafide hate crime. even if they were to give an excuse like ‘he got in our way’ or ‘he#made a fool out of us’ or whatever else. even if those boys didn’t fully UNDERSTAND the racism in their own intentions/actions#it still would be. because that would not have happened to a white boy. period#anyway. genuinely fascinating choice they made with the way they presented his death- especially considering it was not#remotely similar in the comics. neither of them had the hate crime aspect going on really up til yockey’s narrative choices#so props to him. man’s got balls#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edit: I will say that I don’t think the boys in edwin’s case technically murdered him nor would I call them murderers#because I can’t imagine a single one of them actually thought that ritual was gonna do anything more than make him piss himself#it was still hate-based bullying. like they still absolutely did what they did because he’s visibly effeminate and easily clickable#and all in all: gay. but when I say edwin was murdered I don’t really mean by those boys. I mean those boys dragged him into the situation#(kicking and screaming) that GOT him murdered by a demon. and he would not have been in that position if not for being gay.#I’ll say it again because last time I talked about this someone got real pissy in my inbox: I am not excusing the actions of the boys that#got him killed nor am I saying what they did wasn’t based in homophobia. i am just clarifying that they didn’t intend on killing anyone or#think whatsoever that someone getting killed was even a possibility (as opposed to charles’ killers who definitely had to have thought he#could be killed even if that might not have been the premeditated goal of every boy involved)#but the fact that edwin was ultimately intentionally killed by a demon counts as murder to me#someone killed him on purpose. that’s murder#the demon probably didn’t give a shit about this human teenager’s sexuality but regardless he ended up there for being gay.#so. just. a clarification
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November 21st - Happy Birthday Ginoza
(with one Ginoza from every chapter that I could find)
#psycho pass#nobuchika ginoza#my edits#the glow-up this man has is straight up incredible. i wasnt necessarily thrilled with him during season one..like he was just okay#to me. but afterwards? OH BOY. he's wonderful. way more tolerable/supportive/kind/literally everything. which is bittersweet#since i know this poor lad faced a lot of hardships at the very end of s1 but that character development was worth it. especially how#handsome he is.. that ponytail works wonders on him. still axiously waiting to see the new movie though. hopefully soon.
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i think one of the silliest things lately with my blog is i get an anon about one every other week asking me to tag hockey because they followed me for something else and it's kinda annoying and i always see it after i just posted something about gargling genos balls or wanting to wreck cumdumpster sidney crosby and like. im very sorry to that anon. but also no, i wont tag hockey. im committed to being VERY! annoying and i dont want other hockey fans on my page because im shy 🙈
#on one hand im sorry im annoying. on the other i tag my panels & edite and my personal posts usually so you can just follow those instead#like i KNOW im annoying. i know every other day my mutuals sigh as it hits 7pm est and i make tumblr unbearable for them for 2 hours#i know they tolerate seeing the most average brunette men in my queue posts or my random burst spams#and for that im very grateful!!#but also. no im not gonna tag it. because i am committed to being annoying and dont want random people following me for hockey reblogging#ransom note
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oh my god u know the hrt is working when u get genuinely white girl drunk
#ive never been this drunk before this is crazy. the gender euphoria of not having any tolerance despite being able to drink 4 drinks a year#ago#like its that or someone Did something to this drink but it was from a housemate's stash. oh my god i wanted more of this im so glad im in#bed rn i could have made so many bad decisions#im like this close to posting one of the thirst(?) pics i took on my sideblog that i havent touched in a month#oh my god im fucking up so many words . gang im not pretending here i drank like 2 shots tops and its Fucking me somehow#WAIT I CAN EDIT TAGS#typos fixed :sunglasses:#genuinely crazy how much im feeling it tho ive literally Never felt it this much. id ask if ibuprofen or spiro interact w alcohol but i#think there was a decent amount of time between when i took both#yeah like i took spiro ~10:57 and then uh drank after. 11 hm ok this isnt as spaced out as i expected#i dont think im going to alcohol jail tho. im being responsible im In Bed im not gonna go do anything stupid (altho i do. want to ask#someone downstairs to do something stupid. but maybe thats the alcohol talking)#also shileas is downstairs and shes a bitch and i dont want to be cringy in front of her#i dont know if shes trans or just a really masc lesbian btw . shes cool but she also has some bad takes sometimes and i dont think she#likes me#im writng so many tags <3 but thats what love is. if anyones read this far idk like the post or something#you know the one post where the person puts an egg in their mouth. and then people share the tags. this is that#i was gonna be typing this out on a discord server but i thought no. this deserves to have everyone see it#man also if i went down and asked like if anyone wants to fuck like who would say yes . shileas is a super senior maeve is in a relationshi#p#i dont like riley and . man idk about griffin. but i think im a lesbian. maybe im just desperate.#bUT IM NOT GONNA. im not gonna.#i dont want to sleep tho i want to have fun :(( but my roommate is asleep#& its not like anyones gonna fuck me on this bed . with like my lovies (thats what i call my stuffed animals) and shit .#i genuinely didnt expect that i could get this drunk and whats crazy is i know i could be more drunk#can u imagine if someone reads this and goes 'well shes clearly sober and faking it' no </3 im simply very eloquent i was neglected as#a child so i read alot lol#whoops *a lot not alot#wasnt there a limit of like 26 tags. when do i hit that
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in other news. random 2k oneshot that'll never see the light of day because it crossed into non-canonicity but also sometimes you have to write a guy griping about healthcare and chronic illness while miserably lying in the shower because he is hurting. yep.
#haunted ecosystem#anhedonia au is getting all the weird things. i wrote this for a winter event and im working on getting all my ducks in a line.#also im gonna be trying to write concepts i have sitting around from previous stuff so! thats fun#i'll probably be periodically posting the things that i think are tolerable off the bat and editing everything else#honestly. we'll see how the prompts align#i already have one i think i know what to do with. this was for the prompt “sick fic” except i took it a diff route than normal#aaaanyway bath time for pyrriax because its body hurts :3
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when i release my stede is femme comp y'all better appreciate me </3
#i'm spending. a lot of time editing this. and it means a lot to me#will it be as compelling to people as Spock is Gay? probably not#but idk this character just. means a lot to me.#having a lead in a show that is allowed to be effeminate and to find love#and the only people attacking him for effeminacy are villians#and the reasons the good characters don't like him is that he's a bad pirate. not because he's gay#although i do also worry about two things.#one. is my video going to be too long to post on tumblr. and two.#are people going to come at me for including ''pathetic'' moments?#because a key tenant of queer male effeminacy IS the fact that we are viewed by society as cowards#and too emotional and such. because we wear our hearts on our sleeves#i made an absolutely comical girly shriek just today because i knocked over a bag of laundry#that little shriek is just as much a part of me as my skirts and my lack-of-tolerance towards men being creeps#what i am NOT worried about is people saying ''um actually stede isn't femme?'' to me. bc like. i'm allowed to interpret the character#oh you don't see my vision? [stede voice] not my problem.
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I bring a "guy you can just ignore/talk over" vibe to the discord that my BPD really don't like
#(quoting that one meme format but too lazy to edit it myself)#anyways. ended up leaving a server bc it happened a second time there and twice was Enough#which ik out of context sounds bratty but in context? this happens to me all the gd time across many servers and im sick of it#idk if it's smth about ME or people just decide that in big group servers you can just chuck courtesy out the window or what#but it feels pointed after a while!#fsr it's when I ask questions for advice and or starter convos people do this the most - sometimes Immediately after my message#and they and everyone after Entirely ignores my message bc they took the spotlight with whatever#and I'm gonna be real. those times are usually me recognizing i need to interact more and Genuinely Trying To Engage#so to not only have the attempt ignored but also Entirely talked over really fucking sucks bc its like man what do you want me to do here?#stand on my head? cry for attention? perform a musical number?? how about mr. cellophane that sound good to you#just. ugh. I know it Has to be something I'm doing. anytime I talk about it other people are surprised it happens frequently#but idfk what I'm doing to provoke that response!! bc no ones fucking talking to me!!!!!#you see my issue here!!!!!#like am i too inactive? is it me being too sensitive and this is smth everyone does all the time? do i come off as too clingy or tryhard?#who knows! evidently everyone in the server but me#just. ugh.#ik leaving isnt right either but im sick of not understanding what im doing wrong and being ignored Hurts too much to tolerate#not without better understanding of the issue anyways#gripegripegripe#blablablah
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How about we stop interpreting the Cat King into something he is not and start listening to Lukas Gage about his own character instead?
Because it's genuinely concerning how some people view him, and at this point, I am starting to believe you people are so hostile towards him because he disrupts Painland, which he doesn't since Edwin can very much like two people at the same time (most people in real life do).
Lukas also sees this shit... It's obvious he loves this character and worked very hard to make him complex and three-dimensional, only for people to misunderstand him completely and start treating him horribly, which I'm sorry but it's completely bullshit.
So less "I don't like him because he makes me feel icky for no apparent reason" and more media comprehension.
Gif belongs to @isabellaofparma 🪷🩷
AN ADDITION TO THIS (03.07.24):
I think every person should be allowed to, of course, continue to dislike him. He is a complex character, and as such, he is the whole spectrum, and that rubs people in ways. However, I did mean to provide a different point of view than the one that had begun to take prevail and I felt was a bit unfair towards what Lukas wished to portray. I will not change or edit the original phrasing because that is how I felt when I originally posted this.
I do enjoy reading everyone's opinions. The ONLY thing I will not tolerate on this post is personal insults on both sides. Do not have those under my post. I'm an adult. I can't have people fight over fictional characters with personal insults.
#thomas the cat king#the cat king#cat king dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives#the dead boy detectives#lukas gage#dead boy detectives meta
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Hiya, i saw ur requests are open and that you write for sonic series, so i was wondering if you could write sonic boom!shadow x fem!hedgehog reader? You can make up the story, and what happens! But i have to ask if it can be fluff. I read a little to much angst today cant handle more😭
I looove shadow sm, all and any shadow😆
Thanks! Drink,eat , sleep, shower
-Monty 🦔
Boom!Shadow Fluff HC’s With Fem!Hedgehog Reader
Hey there! Thanks for the ask!
I don’t know why but as soon as I saw this request was to have Shadow be in a hugging session with reader. Don’t know why but that was the first thought I had when I saw that you wanted fluff (by the way I kind of wrote this to at least be platonic but some views can be considered romantic in a way. You can view it as whatever). Plus that boy does deserve a hug, regardless of which Shadow it is. Also sorry if this is a bit shorter than my regular ones. Anyways, hope you like this. ~Blaze/Dawn
Pronouns: She/Her (Or At Least Fem Intended Since I Only Used She/Her Once)
Warning: ❌
Requested: Yes/No
Characters: Shadow + Mentions Of The Other Sonic Crew
Proofread: ❌
Credits: Icon by punkmp4 on Pinterest + Banner by emiljjj (Edited By Me) on Pinterest
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- ‘God today has been overwhelming’ Shadow thought to himself, his face clearly showing annoyance. Honestly he wasn't sure how long he could deal with another presence. The only thing that was currently on his mind and the only reason he even bothered to put up with the others was seeing you. A while ago he found himself becoming fond of you in his own brooding way. Normally he wouldn’t consider himself getting close with anyone especially since he’s known for being a loner but as he manages to spot you more often due to you often hanging out with that stupid hedgehog sonic and his friends he couldn’t help but get drawn towards you. It’s like you had some sort of aura about you that made him drawn to you. So he decided to hang out with you much to your surprise at him wanting to be around you but you weren’t going to complain.
- You’re the only person he actually tolerates out of everyone he knows. To him Sonic is too annoying, Tails is alright in a way but still isn’t too fond of him, Knuckles isn’t that smart, Amy is also alright he just doesn’t hang out with her too much so he doesn’t have that much of a bond with her and he just finds Sticks batshit crazy. So with you it’s like he’s getting some fresh air after being stuck in a room for hours. He actually enjoys being around you, you won’t get him to outright admit it but in a way you can tell he does because he treats you way differently compared to the others which doesn’t go unnoticed by them.
- Some of them actually find it cute (Mostly Amy) and some of them like to tease Shadow about (Most probably either Sonic or Knuckles) but you don’t mind it. You actually find it cute in a way as well. Managing to break his standoffish persona. Undeniably he kind of has a soft spot for. Often he finds himself getting defensive when someone like Sonic teases him for his said soft spot. Like Sonic could be saying stuff like “You really like her don’t you Shadow” which causes Shadow to tell him to shut up.
- Everytime he has a shit day or just wants to decompress he finds himself thinking of you. He could just be in a grumpy mood then he just sighs to himself and thinks to himself ‘I’m going to see [Name]’. It’s like his brain just automatically thinks of going to you as soon as he experiences a single bad emotion. He knows that you won’t judge which admittedly makes him happy inside. Honestly after having others getting on his nerves he rather have someone who knows how to calm him down. Honestly, this dude has so much built in anger it’s unbelievable.
- Eventually, after enough walking he managed to arrive at your place and immediately felt some sort of weight being lifted off of his shoulders. He knocked on the door crossing his arms waiting for you to open the door. He then saw the door crack open and saw the familiar hedgehog he actually likes. “Oh hey Shadow!” You said, happy to see your buddy again “what are you doing here?” You asked before he answered “apologies for interrupting you but is it alright if I stay here for a bit?” He asked to which you happily let him in.
- As soon as you sat down you found him following you before plopping himself head down into your lap “had another one of those days huh?” You asked slightly chuckling before placing a hand on his head “you have no idea. I swear that damn hedgehog is out to purposely ruin my day.” He grumbled as he felt himself softening while having your hands running through his quills “oh come on he’s not that bad you know?” You could hear Shadow slightly snorting to himself before replying “you hang out with him, your used to his idiocy” you chuckled at his answer before continuing to play with his quills, occasionally seeing him nuzzle his head in your lap even letting out some noises indicating that he was enjoying the attention he was getting from you “your weird you know that Shadow?” You joked with him “no I’m not” he retorted back even starting to hug you loosely around your waist “yeah whatever you say” you smiled to yourself hearing Shadow scoffing to himself as the two of you enjoy each other's company. “thanks for being there for me [Name]” he quietly said but you could hear him very well “no problem Shadow”.
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#sonic the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog x reader#sonic#sonic x reader#sonic boom#sonic boom x reader#sth#sth x reader#sonic series#sonic series x reader#shadow the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog x reader#shadow#shadow x reader#boom shadow#boom shadow x reader#tails the fox#miles tails prower#knuckles the echidna#amy rose#sticks the badger#x reader#fem reader#request
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hiii, can you do a headcanon of Ambessa with a girlfriend who is super spoiled and Ambessa does everything for her cause she’s in love. thanks
✞⛧ Ofcccc here’s Ambessa with her super spoiled girlfriend ✞⛧
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Ambessa is completely and utterly smitten. She sees her girlfriend as a queen, and she’ll stop at nothing to make sure she’s treated as one.
She loves spoiling her girlfriend with extravagant gifts: jewelry, designer clothes, rare perfumes from foreign lands—you name it, Ambessa has it wrapped and delivered to her door.
Ambessa’s favorite pastime is watching her girlfriend’s eyes light up when she surprises her. “You deserve the world, and I’ll make sure you have it,” she says without hesitation.
Breakfast in bed? Always. Ambessa ensures her girlfriend starts every morning with freshly brewed coffee or tea, perfectly made pastries, and her favorite fruit.
If her girlfriend even hints at wanting something, Ambessa makes it happen—whether it’s a vacation, a limited-edition item, or a small luxury like a specific shade of lipstick.
Massages on demand. After a long day, Ambessa insists her girlfriend relax while she knead the tension out of her shoulders with her strong hands.
Ambessa personally oversees her girlfriend’s security. She won’t tolerate any risks to her safety, assigning her most loyal guards to her at all times.
She never lets her girlfriend lift a finger—ever. Whether it’s opening doors, carrying bags, or even pouring a drink, Ambessa insists, “That’s my job.”
When Ambessa is away on business, she writes long, heartfelt letters and sends lavish care packages so her girlfriend never feels lonely.
She’s fiercely protective. Anyone who dares insult or hurt her girlfriend learns quickly that Ambessa is not one to be trifled with.
Ambessa often calls her “my little empress” or “my treasure,” and her tone is always dripping with affection when she says it.
Private chef? Check. Ambessa hires the best culinary talent in the world to cater to her girlfriend’s every craving.
If her girlfriend ever gets upset, Ambessa immediately clears her schedule to comfort her. She hates seeing her unhappy and does everything in her power to make her smile.
Ambessa loves brushing or playing with her girlfriend’s hair. It’s one of her favorite ways to bond, especially during quiet moments together.
She’s attentive to her girlfriend’s needs and can read her moods easily. “What’s wrong, love? Tell me, and I’ll fix it.”
Date nights are always luxurious. Ambessa takes her girlfriend to exclusive restaurants, the opera, or on yacht trips under the stars.
Ambessa’s girlfriend is always dressed to impress, courtesy of Ambessa’s insistence on buying her custom-tailored outfits.
When they’re relaxing at home, Ambessa enjoys curling up with her girlfriend in front of the fireplace, sharing a glass of wine and soft conversation.
She keeps her girlfriend warm and cozy. Ambessa has an oversized fur cloak she drapes over her girlfriend whenever she’s cold, pulling her into her lap for added warmth.
If her girlfriend enjoys hobbies like painting or writing, Ambessa makes sure she has a luxurious studio filled with all the best supplies.
Public affection? Always classy but unmistakable. A hand at the small of her girlfriend’s back, a kiss to the knuckles, and a piercing glare at anyone who looks too long.
Ambessa constantly praises her girlfriend’s beauty, intelligence, and kindness. “You’re perfect, darling. Absolutely perfect.”
On anniversaries, Ambessa goes all out—planning surprise getaways, designing custom jewelry, or even commissioning a portrait of the two of them.
Soft moments are her weakness. Seeing her girlfriend laugh, smile, or fall asleep in her arms melts the cold exterior Ambessa shows to the rest of the world.
Ambessa has no qualms about reminding her girlfriend how much she loves her. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Never forget that.”
She’s not shy about reminding people of her girlfriend’s status, either. “Do you know who she is? Treat her with the respect she deserves.”
Ambessa secretly adores when her girlfriend gets a little bratty or demanding. It only fuels her desire to spoil her more.
Her girlfriend’s happiness is Ambessa’s top priority. Whether it’s through small gestures or grand displays, she lives to see her smile.
Ambessa dreams of retiring one day to a private estate where she and her girlfriend can live in peace, surrounded by luxury.
In the end, Ambessa would do anything for her girlfriend. She’s her greatest weakness, her greatest love, and the one thing Ambessa is truly soft for.
#ambessa league of legends#lol ambessa#ambessa x you#ambessa x reader#arcane ambessa#ambessa medarda#ambessa headcanons#ambessa arcane#arcane imagine#arcane#arcane headcanon#arcane drabbles#arcane x female reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane x reader
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LAMB X BISHOP MASTERPOST YEAAAA!!!
(original template link)
this genuinely took me so long but i needed to explore my ship dynamics with ramzi and his bishops! more details under the cut if you want to know more- warning this post is LONG!!!:
[edit: i was obviously rlly sleep deprived while writing this so im editing it for better readability, including using more consistent pronouns for everyone bc reading it back this post. was very hard to parse 💀]
in order, just adding notes and addendums :3c im super sleep deprived so im trying my best but i need to yap about them
ramzi's pronouns are it/he/they!
narinder;
initially a very slow burn relationship, this sheet shows them at their peak. it takes a very long time for the lamb to forgive narinder, and vice versa, but once they're over their differences they're committed.
notes;
he/they for narinder :3c he's bisexual with a preference for masc presenting people! (using he/him for this post)
prefers to be the big spoon but will allow ramzi to take that spot if it really insists on it
reaallly loves to wear the lamb's fleeces and cloaks (the only clothing of theirs that will fit him) but is too proud to directly ask for them
narinder really does not like most people- the only ones he usually socializes with are ramzi and his siblings, possibly a follower he can tolerate for a few minutes. if ramzi is talking to others while narinder is shadowing him he tends to just flick his tail and sulk quietly until his lamb gives him attention again
narinder isn't great with words, he prefers to show ramzi his love with physical affection (in private) and acts of service, while ramzi is more than willing to shower narinder with loving words and acts of devotion
ramzi refuses to confess its feelings to narinder first, full stop. narinder waits and waits, but eventually gives in and tells ramzi how he feels first- ramzi is still feeling bitter and betrayed by narinder, not appreciating them snatching it from its peaceful death to be a tool in his games. they're both incredibly conflicted, it takes a long while for them to work their differences out. its not something that can be solved with a single conversation, but eventually they come to terms with everything that's happened and make amends
ramzi wouldn't actually squash the bug- it'd prefer to just grab it and take it out of whatever space its invaded, narinder will just smack it and be done with it
im just applying the driving one if i ever make a modern au lmfao
narinder cannot cook to save his damn life after being locked up for so long- ramzi had to learn quickly being raised by ratau, i'll be real i dont think that rat knows how to cook
that prickly cat would prefer not to show his love for the lamb in public, but he might sneak a kiss while no one is looking... ramzi however doesn't care, though it does like to fluster narinder a little by flirting while others are around
these two would kill for each other, narinder is practically begging the lamb to let him do so actually- nari is described as the lamb's shadow (affectionately) by most because of how often he's seen just following it around the cult. god help you if you confess your love to the lamb while he's around- though ramzi does get pretty jealous if it sees anyone making eyes at his special kitty...
nari is 4,000 years old virgin to me lmao. ramzi has had a few relationships before narinder, it actually marries shamura before nari- they're not beating the toxic yaoi allegations any time soon they were still battling their resentment around that time
i'll touch on the spicier dynamics in a dedicated post sometime >:3c that'll apply to the rest too-
i wouldn't describe narinder as being awkward, but moreso stoic and lost really. he's also just incredibly pissed off with ramzi, feeling robbed of his rightful status as a god and feeling jealous of everything its built for itself in such a small amount of time- later on he's more flustered than nervous or awkward because that damned lamb wont stop flirting with him
gods help you if narinder even sees you making eyes at the lamb. he's incredibly possessive over his former vessel, its perceived rejection of him made something in him snap and they want to possess it, even if he knows that's not exactly plausible... he's normal, i swear (<-lying) ramzi returns some of that energy, it really does not like followers flirting with its favorite cat- i'll be the first to admit that they've got some toxic codependency going on
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leshy;
leshy uses any pronouns! he really just don't care that much, same with his sexuality (using he/him for simplicity for this post)
these two fight over who gets to be the big spoon, since they're nearly even in height (leshy tries to argue his branches make him taller) it makes it easier for them to trade big/little spoon positions- but theyre so competitive they end up wrestling over it
leshy can't even see the clothes he's wearing, but he likes the idea of ramzi matching with him, even if he won't directly admit that
ramzi is rarely called by name when leshy is around, it's always 'lambzi', 'lamby', 'cottonball', or any other seemingly sarcastic pet name he can come up with for it- meanwhile ramzi often calls him 'wiggler' or 'wormy'
compared to leshy, ramzi is a little less outgoing. leshy loves to be the center of attention, he loves to pull pranks and cause mischief whenever he can.
ramzi's quick to let leshy know he is loved through any means, though surprisingly leshy is a bit more inconspicuous about showing his affections for his lamb through old traditions it clearly has no clue about but leshy gets a bit of joy watching its confusion (shamura tells it later-)
these two have a pretty easygoing relationship, at first leshy is upset about his lost godhood but he quickly begins to like staying with the lamb when he learns how accommodating and, frankly, extremely chaotic it is- they get along very well and have a teasing, poking and earnestly soft relationship rather early on. leshy admits his feelings first, mainly getting fed up that ramzi hasnt confessed that it obviously likes him by that point
neither of them mind bugs, leshy actually likes them quite a bit. they'd prefer to catch and release rather than smash them
the poor worm is blind of course he cant cook!! he might be able to if he really focused on building muscle memory and focusing his senses but he's honestly just too lazy to bother, heket's cooking is better anyway
leshy doesn't care if anyone is looking, he loves his lamb! he gets a little embarrassed when they know its siblings are around, but she does get a kick out of knowing he's making narinder jealous
ramzi would lay down his life for his precious chaotic grub, it knows leshy is more than capable but it can't help but worry sometimes- leshy knows ramzi can handle itself so he's pretty relaxed about everything, unless ramzi comes home particularly hurt
i like to think leshy was a bachelor in his time... why not?? he's the bishop of chaos, im sure he's started a love triangle intentionally to watch them fight over him- ramzi however is a little less experienced in romance
leshy has not an ounce of awkwardness in his body, ramzi's a little awkward when he says something particularly unhinged but otherwise they match each other's freak a little too well
leshy would never admit to ramzi that the smell of anyone else stuck to his wool makes leshy a little jealous... another reason he likes to lend his clothes to ramzi, really-
-
heket;
she/they/he for heket, she's bisexual with a preference toward women (using she/her for simplicity on this post)
heket is the big spoon, no questions asked. she loves to cradle that lamb in her arms and it is NOT one to complain about that
heket doesnt lend out her clothes very often, but she likes to see how baggy they are on ramzi- she quite likes seeing it wake up wearing her shirts...
ramzi is incredibly formal with heket, usually referring to her by name or some honorific to show its respect (something she appreciates greatly)- meanwhile heket is always referring to the lamb by anything but its name, really
heket's level of social battery depends on the day, some days she would prefer not to speak to anyone, others she's more outgoing
heket shows her affection by making sure ramzi isn't overworking itself, making sure it's eating and sleeping- she knows it can care for itself, but she just wants to protect her lamb.
there's absolutely no way heket would swallow her pride and confess her brewing feelings for ramzi, she waits very patiently for it to finally get its nerve up and admit that it wants to pursue a relationship with her- after (mostly) healing her throat, she doesn't feel so lonely in the cult once her voice returns and she begins to feel conflicted about ramzi... she wants to hate him, but it's doing everything they can to help her siblings and she can't help but respect and admire it for that, she would admit that she would never consider it if she was still a god-
heket thinks bugs are cute, she'll either catch and release them or keep them in a little container for a bit (she's never beating the weird little sister allegations to me)
ramzi's cooking definitely is not as good as heket's, if it cooks a meal the whole cult is asking when it's heket's turn next LMAO-
PDA ruins heket's cool and stoic exterior in her eyes, though she can't just say that to the lamb- she'll gladly give it a hug or a kiss when nobody's looking, though
honestly, ramzi is just protective over all of the bishops. it feels terribly for killing them repeatedly and making them suffer in purgatory, and it never wants to see them suffer again- heket knows the lamb is strong, she's seen it with her own eyes. that doesn't stop her from worrying for it a little when it leaves on a crusade, however...
heket has some relationship experience, though its been a WHILE- forneus and ramzi are her most recent romantic endeavors and she's incredibly awkward about both of them
heket is insanely awkward, she tries to maintain a cool exterior but it's so hard when that damned lamb is so cute and that sweet cat mom is so kind and shaped- whats a woman to do in her situation??
she can get a little bit jealous if her buttons are pushed on the wrong day, but other than that ramzi and heket have a pretty open relationship
-
kallamar;
any pronouns for kallamar! though he/she are most preferred, she's very lax about his gender and loves to experiment (using he/she interchangeably, lamb is referred to by it/its for simplicity)
despite being nearly a full foot and a half taller than ramzi, kallamar loves to be its little spoon! he feels so safe in his lamb's embrace, she would never leave if it was possible
none of her clothes would fit the lamb, but he does have clothing made for it often! he'll be damned if he lets ramzi walk around looking anything less than presentable, even if its naked it must be TASTEFULLY naked- (though his definition of what that means is a bit nebulous. ramzi's convinced he just wants to ogle)
they love to make up pet names for each other, 'mari' and 'kallie' are ramzi's favorites to use for its precious husband. kallamar is particularly fond of calling ramzi his puppy, often flustering it-
kallamar is a YAPPER and she will not shut up about how much he loves her lamb! ramzi doesn't mind it, but she's often talking so much that it can't properly find the words to express it back- so it gives gifts often, knowing how much its wife loves to adorn himself in jewelry and silks!
ramzi is actually a little bit intimidated by kallamar's experience in love and how pretty he is, kallamar ends up making a very dramatic love confession in front of everyone, totally flustering ramzi (though it has to admit it really loves the dedication!)
he is TERRIFIED of bugs kallamar will shriek so loudly if she finds even a small beetle anywhere near her living space- ramzi often finds itself catching the little bugs while kallie screams bloody murder in the corner
kallamar absolutely can cook but he doesn't want the responsibility of cooking entire meals for the whole cult so she intentionally cooks like shit to avoid it- ramzi catches onto that pretty quickly though
these two need to get a ROOM the confessional is NOT to be used in that way!!!
kallamar's overprotective attitude mainly comes from a place of not wanting the lamb's image to be ruined, he'll tend to its makeup and wardrobe, even helping to enforce loyalty amongst its flock to keep its image pristine- and kallamar is just an easy bullying target, ramzi is Very quick to put an end to that!
kallamar is absolutely more experienced than ramzi, though he's no less dedicated to it. it makes their relationship very calm, there's very little tension between them!
ramzi is very awkward around kallamar at first, he's pretty indignant and a bit cruel to it during the first few weeks- once ramzi begins offering him gifts and praise she warms up rather quickly, however. ramzi's disarmingly cute appearance and dirty mouth tends to make kallamar a nervous mess sometimes, though...
there's not a single ounce of jealousy between these two 🧍♂️ they both understand that they're dedicated to one another, and can dedicate themselves to others without compromising their bond
-
shamura;
they/it for mura! i feel that they enjoy experimenting with their clothing in relation to their gender, but they prefer neutral pronouns (using they/them for mura and he/him for ramzi for readability)
these two take turns on who gets to be the big spoon, though usually shamura claims that spot
shamura loves to weave clothes for ramzi! they enjoy seeing his face light up when they incorporate designs ramzi has shown them that sheep often wore, wanting to keep that memory alive for him
they're pretty formal at first, but the two of them can't help but call each other by loving nicknames once they've become comfortable with each other- ramzi often calls shamura 'softie' or 'dearest'
shamura prefers to keep to themself, though they've grown rather attached to webber. they've basically adopted the little creature, that's their son...
once clarity has returned to shamura through ramzi's healing, they have a better grasp on their words- but they still struggle to word their feelings a lot of the time. they try their best, but they find it easier to give gifts or show their affections with physical intimacy when words fail them
shamura is incredibly paranoid and wary of ramzi's presence when they're first indoctrinated, until they finally break bread and reach an understanding, shamura doesn't even consider the lamb could feel anything but hatred and resentment toward them. they assume that he wants revenge, but learns that he just wants to help them- it takes a bit longer for the fear to truly leave shamura, but when they never feel that dagger in their back, they begin to soften he clearly isnt lying to them, he's helped all of their siblings become as happy as he can- and he asks nothing in return of them? it feels too good to be true, but they can't help but trust him eventually ramzi confesses first, and is initially (softly) rejected... but theyre not entirely opposed! mainly conflicted, for a while-
they both love bugs, obviously- though sometimes ramzi gets bitten while trying to show shamura the little spiders he's captured
shamura likes to cook but they prefer liquid only foods- it's not horrible, but sometimes they want more variety
shamura is a bit shy about their relationship with the lamb, they're the least experienced with this sort of thing out of all of the bishops- war and reason have no room for love and compassion, after all. they're learning, with ramzi's help
if someone even LOOKS at ramzi the wrong way, shamura is the first to come to the lamb's defense. both a form of devotion, claiming ramzi as their charge they'd guard with their life, and a form of facing their grief- they'd ended ramzi's life once, they don't want to see it hurt anymore
these two match each other's freak so well its scary- you dont wanna see what happens in the mating tent when these two are in there!!
after shamura's initial wariness and shortness with ramzi fades, they become incredibly shy and awkward- they don't know how to navigate all these new feelings, and they don't really know who to turn to for advice
shamura is very possessive of their lamb- they were the first to be wed by him, after all- not to mention i personally think them being a spider influences this quite a bit,
WOAW THATS IT!!! holy shit thats a lot of text.... anyway if u have any questions abt any of them or want more clarification feel free to send me asks i love to yap abt them all <3
oh boy im not looking forward to putting all the tags on this
#g.png#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb#cotl leshy#cotl heket#cotl kallamar#cotl shamura#cotl narinder#narilamb#leshylamb#shroomwool#lambket#kallamb#kallalamb#lambura#lamura#narinder x lamb#leshy x lamb#heket x lamb#kallamar x lamb#shamura x lamb#they of salvation au#oc: ramzi
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i was thinking my little thoughts while falling asleep last night, and a concept occurred to me: what if binghe learned about the system not from shen qingqiu, but from shang qinghua
look, he likes shang qinghua alright. he's pretty disinterested in p much anyone who isn't shen qingqiu, but on the list of People Luo Binghe Tolerates, shang qinghua is relatively high. he gave him advice on wooing sqq, after all, and sqq likes his company, so binghe tolerates his shang-shishu
but the thing is, shang qinghua is a spy. has been for decades. binghe knows this. really, everyone knows this at this point, which isn't a great look for a spy, but still. and since shang qinghua is a spy for mobei-jun, who is a subordinate for luo binghe, then technically shang qinghua is also working for him, but you don't get to the position of demon emperor without a healthy amount of suspicion for everyone in your court
so he decides to test shang qinghua a little bit. nothing major, just a little poking around in his dreams. he starts out with a subtle touch, just sifting through his memories. most of it is what he expected. he sees his time on an ding as a disciple and then later as peak lord, he sees him working for mobei-jun. he sees mobei-jun in some compromising situations, which he files away for later, and then sees him in an entirely different flavor of compromising situations, and binghe immediately decides to act like he never saw that
then he decides to take a more direct approach and starts nudging the dreams in other directions, to see how he might react to certain scenarios, test his loyalty. he expects shang qinghua to act cowardly, or bluff his way through a situaton, maybe even draw his sword if pushed far enough
what he doesn't expect is for shang qinghua to frown at the changes luo binghe made and go "I didn't write it like this"
what
binghe is so bewildered by that response that he loses his grip on the dream for a second, and before he knows it, shang qinghua has spun the dream scenario back into the way the scene originally played out. he steps back and looks satisfied. "there we go," he says. "that's how it went. you know, if I'd known I'd be dealing with this scene myself, I would've written it differently"
what the hell does that mean?
fascinated, luo binghe continues to test him. most of the time, when he toys with someone's dream, they're completely unaware of the changes. shang qinghua, despite not seeming aware that he's lucid dreaming, seems very aware of how each scene should go. except for, strangely, many of the scenes that binghe himself was in. binghe pulls up one from his disciple days, one of the times he remembered shang qinghua coming to qing jing on some errand. he hadn't even changed anything yet, had just let the dream version of his younger self launch himself at shizun in a tacklehug, but shang qinghua tsks and takes the reins from him before he can make any edits. "sorry bing-ge, but that was just way too out of character," shang qinghua says. the dream copy of luo binghe's younger self is sent further away, watching the peak lords with a sullen gaze. he's skinnier than binghe remembers being at this age, and one of his eyes is swollen with a purple bruise. that doesn't make any sense, luo binghe thinks. he hadn't been beaten on qing jing peak for years at this point.
the shen qingqiu beside shang qinghua in the dream stands with his back straight as a ruler, and when his gaze lands on luo binghe, he sneers behind his fan. shang qinghua sighs. "cucumber-bro really wasn't as good of an actor as he thought he was. he's way too soft to ever seem like the original goods."
alarmed, luo binghe dispels the dream and steps out of it entirely. sure, he knows shen qingqiu's personality changed almost overnight when he had that qi deviation. everyone knew that. he avoided questioning it much, unwilling to look a gift horse in the mouth when it meant having a shizun that cared for him
but shang qinghua. shang qinghua seems to know something more about shen qingqiu's personality change. something he's not sharing. luo binghe didn't like the idea that one of his subordinates could be hiding something as vital as this from him
well, this had been a test of his spy's loyalties, hadn't it? perhaps he should make a visit to an ding. he had some questions.
#svsss#luo binghe#shang qinghua#didn't mean for this to get so long whoops under a read more it goes#my writing#<- more freeform than i usually do but i've seen other people do similar things with svsss posts#setting this free into the wild#i think lbh and sqh should interact more#demon lord and his favorite shishu. author and his whump protagonist.#now how does the confrontation go when binghe asks him about this?? who knows. that's for you to decide#i only got this far
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Steve Has Older Siblings AU: Robin Edition
In an ideal world, Steve’s family life is completely separate from everything important. But in an ideal world, monsters don’t exist so, you know.
1. Technically the first of Steve’s siblings that Robin meets is Jason because he came into Scoops Ahoy to be an asshole. Robin liked to see King Steve knocked down a peg or two more than the next person but not by a forty year old (he’s 32) loser who has nothing better to do on a Tuesday afternoon. Robin sees him knock Steve’s hat off his head and then informs him that they had a zero tolerance harassment policy (they don’t) and they can and are denying him service. “So leave, now.”
2. The first time she is aware that she’s meeting one of Steve’s siblings is after Starcourt burns down. They were drugged, tired, and Russians took Steve’s car keys so it felt like a good idea to just lay back on the hood of the Beemer and watch the smoke swirl in the air until they come up with what to do.
They never think of anything, and she is startled awake the next morning hungover and dehydrated by someone laying on their horn. Robin looks at the car and then at Steve, and then asks, “Is that your dad?”
Steve - looking somehow worse than yesterday - just blinks in the direction of the car like, “Richie?”
“Get in the car,” Richie practically seethes, barely lets them get in before he starts asking questions like, what the fuck and are you high, right now?”
“I don’t dooo drugs, Dad,” Steve spat out annoyed and Robin, in the backseat, felt compelled to adds, “Drugs do me.”
They both start giggling and can’t stop even when Richie tries to lecture them.
3. Robin meets Jason again when he attacks her.
She doesn’t remember much about the car ride back to Loch Nora or how Steve convinced Richie not to take them to the hospital, but she remembers flopping face first onto Steve’s cloud of a bed. She remembers him taking her shoes off for her and pulling the covers up.
Then she is rudely woken up by a hand yanking her out of bed and big arms wrapping around her head. They’re barely there before Steve is shoving them off her like, “Fuck off, Jason.”
“Carver?” She asks but, no. It’s the dick from the mall. She is ignored while Jason prattles on about how it’s not his fault that Steve looks so much like a girl that he confused him with one. Then he’s whistling about how Steve has a girl in his bed and how surprising that is to them considering they all thought he was a queer.
Robin stiffens beside him. New queer ally, Steve Harrington, not wanting her to be uncomfortable, blurts out, “What if I am?”
And the room goes quiet. Steve’s quiet. Jason’s frozen. Richie, coming in through the door, wasn’t moving. This family doesn’t really paint a picture of unconditional love and acceptance so Robin throws her entire (unsuccessful) theater career into use and slugs Steve in the arm with a snort like, “Yeah, right. With all the girls you flirt with? Ha!”
And everything comes back to life. The hospital conversation comes up and morphs into an argument immediately. Robin is just happy to fade into the background and observe.
4. Robin probably should’ve met Claire that day too but the hospital was an apparent disaster. She actually meets Claire randomly at Family Video.
She sees a woman who’s kinda cute come in and peruse the shelves. She comes to the counter where Robin is on register and Steve is stocking candy right next to her.
She’s carrying The Muppet Movie and makes small talk about watching it with her kids, and never looks twice in Steve’s directly. She’s not in the system and just laughs, “It’s probably under my maiden name, Harrington.”
Robin gives her a tight smile and finishes the transaction. Claire leaves with barely a ‘bye’ to her brother and Robin decides right there that she hates them all.
#Robin makes Steve sit down and actually tell her what is up with his family. he begrudgingly does#robin: wow. screw them. I’m your family now. no arguments#Steve feeling like he could cry: okay#Richie woke up to news that the mall burnt down and then couldn’t get ahold of Steve#he called Jason and they set out on a search and then painfully ran into the fact that they don’t know anything about Steve’s life#because Tommy and Carol told them that they weren’t friends with Steve and then#ted wheeler said that he didn’t think that Steve was dating kid daughter anymore#and also he no idea where his kids were#steve harrington#robin buckley#Steve has older siblings Au
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That time of the month guys, You know what I must do...
Whb Kings on your Period
All Kings x AFAB! reader NSFW No sex just extremely suggestive... Blame three individuals
....Wait a minute... If Lilith makes the kids does that mean demon women don't have periods? Probably looking too much into it...
Edit: This is supposed to be a fun post, But at the end of this, I went down several rabbit holes... Please don't be like me don't think 😭
Cw: mentions of pussy eating (You probably know who it is already lol), no . Suggestive,(alluding to sex on. But never happens because demons are fucking weird)
Satan
You're different somehow every month, and he can't put his finger on it. But your short-tempered rage makes him giggle like a teenager and kick his feet. You have such a low tolerance, super BS, and he loves that. And he wants to know why he never smelled this off Solomon before, so it must be you that's different. When Satan asks you, you sigh and put your hands to your mouth before giving him a 20-minute explanation.
...Holy shit? You're what now??? He thought humans creating little people it was crazy now what you're telling him is that humans have the power to shed their skin from the inside and shit it out??? Can he see it?!
... The mental image, He had and the real thing was not what he expected are you okay Oh my God there's so much again. He never wants to see that much blood come out of you ever again. The way you made this man fear more than any angel by that explanation alone. The way you have this man scampering to a human store to get whatever you ask to help ease the pain even if it's just for a little.
When he tells you that demon women don't have periods He swore your rage was emanating off you and Leviathan could probably feel you're jealousy from all the way in Hades.
Hi I think Satan using a period cramp simulator would be very funny and very entertaining...
Bonus non-cannon:
Fem!Satan: Would have the worst periods known to woman. The streets of Gehanna are deserted because the moment something slightly inconveniences her a whole building is collapsing. I wouldn't blame her, her period cramps will hurt worse than Gabriel stabbing a sword through her uterus before punching her in the gut.
Mammon
He'll buy you literally everything. It doesn't matter if you use tampons pads or cups because he's already bought everything. He's either got it from Lucifer or you made an offhand comment about it and he did his own research. He's very proud that he's prepared for his master.
Like he'll already get you everything But when you're on your period you actually have a reason to accept all his things especially if it's junk food. This is awesome! You're letting him pamper you!!! He wishes you can have periods all the time!
(one explanation later) What the fuck? Never mind. Aren't you scared of running out of blood?
He wish he could grant you something that take the way the pain and discomfort easily but Tartaros never really had that problem so they don't really have any solutions. Instead he'll just stick to spoiling you with food.
Watching Mamon's eyes go wide when he sees how much a tampon soaks up water is pretty funny.
Bonus non-cannon:
Fem!Mammon: She hates it. She hates it so much that she spends the money and resources to immediately either go to the human world or recreate a Depo shot or an implant to get rid of it. And she regularly changes it when she has to.
Leviathan
He smelled blood and he thought you were going to get killed. He was literally ready to die protecting you. He was so angry that he got worked up over nothing at first until he saw how much pain you were in.
Beelzebub
Why does your body insist on doing something that harms itself Is it stupid or is your body hating you. If you insist on being useless then you can just lay in bed!
After the initial Levi snark is gone he comes back to check on you. He actually looks really worried and thinks you might die. Freaking out frantic calls tulucifer after initial back and forth Lucifer insists that what they're feeling is normal.
All of the novels will be looking after you He doesn't want you leaving the bed just in case you might trip and die or accidentally get yourself hurt. He genuinely thinks you might die.
He will silently open your door stare at you and see if you're doing all right and then close the door, Rinse and repeat until you either yell at him ask him what he's doing. He will either respond with arguing back.
Bonus non-canon:
Fem!Leviathan: when she's on her period you literally will never see her. She's so glad She connected her bathroom too her bedroom. It's because she sheds her scales she's not joking. She actually does shed her scales on her period Will she show you fuck no. The moment she starts bleeding you're never seeing her again until she stops.
Honestly he was zoning out through half of your explanation until you mention the actual 'bleeding' process. Then you just see him lean inward putting his chin on his hands. So you're telling him... There is a way to consume you without hurting you?
This fucker has to stay away from you 10 ft away. He is SOOOO on board with eating you out. Keep Guy 10 ft away from you He would be absolutely no help except for maybe eating junk food and bringing you snacks.
He will laugh at your horrid, disgusted face because he just loves your cute little reactions. He raises his hand during the lecture on human anatomy to the Kings, and you told him to put his hand back down because you're not answering any of his batshit questions because you know it's going to be the second worst thing you've ever heard.
Bonus non-cannon:
It's okay though he'll never remember you period though he will always know because he could smell it (insert that one meme) he'll deadass forget that humans can bleed like that and occasionally get scared to smell blood on you before remembering.
He's still this day wonders about us question "if He sucks it all out Would the period be over?"
Fem! Beel: she's lost so much of her cute underwear from being forgetful. I could definitely see her getting an implant or Depo so she doesn't have to remember, but she kind of already forgets her appointments, too.
Lucifer
Human menstrual cycle...He's not stupid He was part of the creation when God made humans to breed with one another. He not only sees it as a normal thing but something special that human women have that sets them apart from demons and angels.
He doesn't understand your disgust and hatred by something explicitly given to you and all human women by God.
He offers to change your mind as he gets on his knees and you start adamantly declining and screaming. Now he really is confused....
About half of the other devils are defending your case when Lucifer brings it up at the next meeting. Though it's so split down the middle they end up discussing that topic another time.
As an 'apology' he gives you a basket with a bouquet of white lilies, painkillers and some cut fruits with card telling you to not eat unhealthy foods since it tends to make the cramps worse. And he hopes you get better.
Bonus non-cannon:
Fem!Lucifer: human female menstrual cycle yeah don't they also molt their feathers? No that's just an angel thing?? So demons also don't molt their feathers molting feathers is just an angel thing??? Other she would be super chill on her cramps, she doesn't even care.
Belphegor
The most normal, You want somewhere to rest? Lucky for you his bed is the softest in all of hell he'll make sure to take good care of you and by taking care of you he means sleeping and cuddling with you while his subordinates do all the work.
Periods actually sound like a pain in the ass He hopes he never has one You're absolutely welcome too crash at his place He understands completely about how things might be more irritating when you're constantly in pain.
Belphegor Actually really likes You're listlessness as much as he likes hard work He doesn't mind when you succumb to his sin a little bit. Especially when you're looking so cute laying on top of him. His phone screen is a picture of you smooshed against his chest with a hand on your head.
Another excuse to binge anime that he doesn't want to watch alone is a win in his book. He'll let you watch some of your favorites as well. He's not picky.
Beleth is in heaven taking care of and pampering you and his majesty. He just wish he could have you to himself for 'private' time.... menstruation? Lol a little blood isn't going to scare him.
Bonus non-cannon:
Fem!Belphegor: Nope... The last time they had their first period was when they first woke up, never again... A thousand years of menstrual pain almost put her back to sleep. Ever since she'd been dying trying to get rid of this thing causing her pain as soon as she heard Lucifer can do implants and depots She was the first one who got it. If she ever gets off at again she'll experience the same exact piercing pain she felt.... but That sounds like a problem for her future self.
Asmodeus
He completely compliance but doesn't really understand He still doesn't. After having a wife who had to deal with periods. It's a complete natural thing for the human reproductive system. And oh boy you bet he knows all about that
"You know if you really don't like it I used to have a cure that can take it away for 9 months, Would you like one? Hahah just kidding dear!"
Asmodeus 🤝Lucifer🤝Beelzebub(I think you can fill in the blank)
In all seriousness he really doesn't understand why humans don't like something that's completely natural He understands devils because devils are just naive beings in general and only certain high level angels Who worked with God don't care...
Another Tally on the board that what Asmodeus has that human men lack. Apparently basic women anatomy knowledge.
As much as he would love to take care of you again since he hasn't done that since his last wife. He doesn't think the Kings fully trust him yet so presents it is. He can tell what phase in your cycle by just scent alone, and that's scary.
Bonus non-canon:
Fem!Asmodeus: She doesn't give a fuck You better be on top of her or else she's going to have a problem. She always feels so horny her period.She's horny all the time
"It's going to be a bloodbath >:)!"
"please stop saying that..."-MC
#gotta say... supernatural beings that don't understand human anatomy is my favorite gender#whb#whb satan#whb mammon#whb leviathan#whb x reader#whb x mc#This is the worst thing I've ever written#whb kings#whb lucifer#whb beelzebub#whb belphegor#what in hell is bad#wihib#whb asmodeus
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And I'm back with Part 3 of the "Merlin accidentally conquers Camelot" au! Thank you all so much for your patience and continued support for this story! It makes me so happy to see people get excited by my silly (and occasionally delusional) au ideas!
NOTE: You can find part 1 here and part 2 here.
EDIT: And you can find part 4 here!
And without further ado, onto the new stuff!
It was rather drafty in the lesser furnished cells of the dungeons. Merlin knew this well, as he had spent many nights during his first couple of years in Camelot trying and failing to get any sleep on the cold stone floors of those cells, kept awake by the freezing chill that would sweep through the dungeons at any given moment.
Merlin also knew that Arthur had never been kept in one of those cells, even on the rare occasions that Uther had him locked up for going against his orders. Whenever Arthur had to be put in the dungeons, he had been put in the fully furnished cells, meant for prisoners who were members of noble families.
Even when they were held in the same dungeon, the nobles and the peasants were subjected to wildly different experiences.
With that in mind, Merlin stopped by Arthur's chambers (or... were they his chambers now? Merlin certainly didn't want to think about that.) to grab Arthur's favorite blanket off of his bed. It was a luxuriously soft blanket, dyed a rich Pendragon red. That blanket was fit for a king and a pain for a manservant to wash, but Merlin had always taken good care of the blanket, knowing how much Arthur liked it.
Merlin folded up the thick blanket with meticulous care, ignoring both his own trembling hands, rendered unsteady by the volatile emotions welling up in him, and Gwaine's presence behind him, silent for once. Despite Gwaine's undying loyalty and penchant for mischief landing Merlin in an even worse situation than before, he seemed to understand the solemnity of Merlin's actions and the profound sense of grief over the life he had lived once before that had been so suddenly torn away from him.
The motions of carefully folding up the blanket filled Merlin with both comforting familiarity and near-crippling sorrow. Would he ever do this again, ever provide support and comfort for Arthur again? As much as Merlin wished to stay optimistic, even if his plan to reinstate Arthur as the rightful king of Camelot succeeded, the darkest corners of his mind hissed that Arthur would never tolerate his presence again, let alone trust him, after usurping him and, in Arthur's eyes, proving everything Uther had ever said about sorcerers to be true.
Merlin's heart plummeted, nearly stopping him in his track towards the dungeon entirely, at the mere thought of what Arthur must think of him now: a treacherous, conniving sorcerer who had manipulated Arthur into becoming his friend only to betray him. Merlin blinked, banishing his tears before they could roll down his face and fall onto the blanket in his arms, and forced his feet to keep moving steadily forward. No matter what Arthur thought of him now, how deeply Merlin has unintentionally wounded his friend, or how catastrophically Merlin's world felt like it was crumbling down around him, he needed to set things right.
Merlin clung desperately to that conviction, the thrumming need to set things right again, as everything else in him wanted to curl up in a dark corner and never move again. After an eternity and yet all too soon, Merlin descended past the gates of the dungeon, where he forbade Gwaine from following him any further, down the noble cell blocks, which were filled with sleeping, but thankfully uninjured knights, and finally through the dark, damp, empty, and cold peasant cells.
He couldn't see Arthur at first, but his magic sensed that he was here. Like always, it jumped, tugging on Merlin to act, whenever Arthur was nearby, causing Merlin to pause his step in order to focus on whatever his magic was attempting to do. This time, it tugged his attention towards the unlit torches lining the walls of the cell block. Light them, his magic seemed to beg of him, our king is cold!
Merlin's immediate reaction was to stop his magic, to push it down so that no one would notice, and, after a deep breath, he did just that. As Merlin stood still, holding Arthur's blanket in his arms and cherishing what would likely be the last few seconds that he could ignore what had happened over the last day and pretend that everything was normal, he heard the voice that he'd been both yearning and dreading to hear for the past day coming from the cell at the very end of the dungeon.
"If you're waiting to sneak up on me, you'll have to try harder than that. I can hear that neither magic nor a crown have made you any more stealthy, Merlin."
Merlin flinched backwards, expecting but yet somehow still unprepared for how much vitriol and bitterness Arthur hissed out his name with. He had heard Arthur yell out his name in variety of tones over the years, ranging from annoyed to bemused to downright furious, but he had never heard his name pass from Arthur's lips like this, spat out from his mouth like it was poisonous and vile. It caused so much hurt to well up in Merlin's chest that he felt it like a bruising punch, causing him to wince in pain, still hiding where Arthur could not see him.
As Merlin stood silently, only a few steps away from Arthur's cell and facing Arthur's well-deserved fury, and tried to desperately blink away the tears gathering in his eyes, his magic abruptly tugged his attention towards the torches again, more insistent this time. Letting out a stuttering breath, Merlin obliged with his magic's request this time, and the torches lining the walls burst into bright, golden flames in an instant, filling the cells with a merry warmth that felt entirely out of place.
Merlin heard a sharp gasp coming from Arthur's cells as soon as the torches lit up by themselves and winced. Right, Arthur was fresh off of Merlin's betrayal, so he was probably pretty jumpy, especially around magic.
Merlin's guilt rose alongside his frustration. Everything he does with his magic, he does it for Arthur, and yet every single damned time it backfires on him and somehow hurt Arthur! A spell meant to heal his father kills the king instead. A battle waged to ensure his continued reign steals his sovereignty instead. And lit torches meant to provide him with warmth and comfort scares him instead!
But before even more guilt could build up inside of him, Merlin heard Arthur's voice once more.
"I won't be scared by a coward of a sorcerer who would steal everything from the man he claimed to serve! Or is the great Emrys too important to even face the fool he tricked into believing that he was his friend?"
Before Merlin's mind could even process Arthur's words, his feet were already carrying him to the end of the hallway, right to the front of Arthur's cell. He needed to prove Arthur wrong here, their years of friendship weren't a lie or a trick, Arthur needed to believe that! Too much of Merlin's life, his very soul, was woven into his bond with Arthur, he couldn't let Arthur have any doubt that their bond was even real!
As he finally arrived at the door to the cell that held Arthur, Merlin's heart stuttered again, this time with grief. Based on the ferocity in his voice, Merlin had expected to see Arthur pressed up against the bars, ready to battle his perceived opponent. Instead, he was greeted by the sight of Arthur, sitting alone on the dirty stone floor, his face wearing the same dejected and defeated look it had just days earlier, after Morgana had taken the citadel and Arthur doubted his own ability to rule his people. The only difference was that the lost look in Arthur's eyes from before was gone, replaced by a scornful glare that had Merlin feeling like he was the scum of the earth.
Merlin opened his mouth, ready to apologize, plead for forgiveness, whatever it took to just stop Arthur from looking at him like that, like Merlin was his enemy, but no words could form in his mouth, as too many emotions were welling up in his chest that it closed off his throat entirely. Merlin drew in a deep, fortifying breath, purposefully avoiding eye contact with a still-glaring Arthur the entire time. Once he felt like he had his feelings even marginally under some tenuous control, he finally met Arthur's gaze and held out the blanket like a pathetic peace offering.
"I brought you your blanket. I know it gets cold down here."
Merlin was rather proud that his voice only wavered slightly, not giving an indication of how disastrously close he was to breaking down into tears in the middle of the dungeons. Arthur merely stared at him for a moment, bewilderment appearing on his face for a few seconds before it was quickly wiped away by angry sneer.
"I don't accept gifts from the likes of you, sorcerer! It's probably cursed or enchanted to kill me so that you can finally get me out of your way for good!"
"No!"
The blanket fell to the floor as Merlin grasped the bars of the cell with both hands and pulled himself as close as he could to Arthur, who had flinched back at Merlin's outburst. His magic flared again, wanting to break down this barrier between them so that he could get closer to Arthur, but he denied its request, knowing that such an action would only agitate Arthur even more.
"Arthur, please, I never meant for any of this to happen! You must believe me! I only wanted to for Camelot to be safe from Morgana and for you to retake the throne! I only want to secure your reign, not end it!"
That, it seemed, finally got a reaction out of Arthur, but it wasn't the one Merlin was hoping for. Arthur finally stood up from the floor and stormed over to the cell door, getting close to Merlin, but just out of reach.
"And why on earth should I trust a word you say?! You've done nothing but lie to me for years, even when I gave you my complete trust! I thought you were my closest friend, the one person in my life who would never betray me, but as it turns out, I never even knew your real name, much less where your true loyalties lie!"
Merlin's face fell at Arthur's accusations, knowing that he was, in some ways, completely right in them. Still, he met Arthur's accusing glare with as much honesty as he could. After all that his own actions had taken from Arthur, he owed him the truth at the very least. Merlin spoke again, trying to muster up a calm, soothing tone despite his strong emotions.
"I know that you don't have much reason to trust what I say now, but I will do all that I can take make this right. I was born with magic, yes, but I was born this way for a purpose, and that purpose is you, Arthur. I am Emrys, destined to be the guardian of the Once and Future King, who will rule over the greatest kingdom history has ever known and bring peace the likes of which has never been seen throughout the land."
Merlin could see the moment of realization on Arthur's face as he put together who exactly the Once and Future King was, his eyes going wide with shock. Despite the situation, Merlin has just a bit of a smile on his face as he reminisced on fond memories.
"When I first met you, I just couldn't understand how such a prattish clotpole could ever be a king of legend, but the longer I stayed by your side, the more I could see the king that you were destined to become. A great man, a great leader, who will always stand up to protect his people, even if it means putting himself in danger."
Merlin's speech trailed off as he smiled gently at Arthur, trying desperately to give him reason to believe Merlin, to believe in the prophecy that tied them together, and, above all, to believe in himself.
To Merlin's surprise, he could see Arthur confusion melting into... something. It looked like something along the lines of hope or awe, which gave Merlin hope in return. But just as quickly as it was there, Arthur's expression shifted again to a frustrated anger.
"Even if what you're saying isn't some trick, your little bedtime story is wrong anyways! I can't be the Once and Future King if I'm not even a king in the first place!"
Merlin sighed deeply, knowing that they'd get to this point eventually. He had a plan, but would Arthur ever agree to it?
"I've tried! I tried to simply order the council to make you king again, but they won't do it! Geoffrey stopped me with some old laws that Bruta wrote! He said that I can't abdicate the throne to you because you're no longer legally a nobleman."
Arthur eyes widened frantically at the mention of Bruta's laws, his breathing picking up with panic. He backed up from the bars of the cell and began pacing around.
"Bruta's code, damn it, I forgot that they applied in these situations! Wait..."
His eyes snapped back to Merlin, looking red-rimmed and on the verge of tears. His voice, which was so full of fire mere seconds ago, now sounded hollow. Merlin's hope wilted upon seeing Arthur like this, and his magic flared again, still wanting to destroy the barrier between them.
"This means that the Pendragon house is no longer recognized, doesn't it?"
Merlin could only nod, unsure of what he could do to comfort Arthur. At Merlin's confirmation, Arthur took a shaky breath, trying to collect himself from the inner turmoil that he was surely experiencing.
"Everything... I've lost everything."
Merlin gave Arthur what he hoped was his most comforting smile, but it didn't do much for Arthur's hopeless disposition. After a small sigh, Merlin spoke again in a soft, comforting voice.
"Arthur, all is not lost. I have a way to make you king again! We just have to make you a noble again, and then I can abdicate the throne to you! And luckily for both of us, there's an easy way to make a peasant a nobleman quickly! And you should know, you wrote it into the laws yourself!"
Arthur blinked at him, not comprehending what Merlin had said for a couple seconds, before a sliver of hope showed on his face. However, as soon as it was there, it was gone again, once more replaced by anger and betrayal. Arthur quickly stormed over to the cell door, this time reaching the door itself and wrapping his hands around the bars so that he could yell in Merlin's face.
"I knew it! This was a trick!"
"What are you talking about? How would me knighting you and then giving you back your throne be a trick?!"
"You would have me swear on oath of fealty to you, which would legally, and for all I know magically, put me under your command! This was all just another plot to control me, wasn't it?!"
"Oh come on, you wouldn't have to mean it when you take the oath! You'd just have to say the words and then let me abdicate!"
"So now sacred oaths of loyalty are nothing but empty words to you?!"
"Gods, you really can't make anything easy for the both of us, can you, you prat! I'm just trying to give you your crown back!"
"You would have me disrespect the sacred oaths of knighthood! I would never swear an oath of fealty to you! It is a sacred bond of trust, which is apparently something that you know nothing about, Emrys!"
Merlin flinched back, still unused to Arthur saying the name given to him by the druids, much less hissed out in anger. Merlin backed away from the cell door and took a deep breath, trying to find some solution to this mess.
"So, I take it that you would not accept a knighthood from me?"
"Never."
Merlin sighed again, his eyes drifting around the dungeons as he tried to think of a different way to make Arthur a nobleman. Eventually, his eyes drifted back towards Arthur, who was still holding onto the bars of the cell door. As Merlin looked at Arthur, pondering any solution that he could possibly come up with, a metallic flash caught Merlin's eye, drawing it to Arthur's left hand.
There, the torchlight was reflecting off of Ygraine's ring, the one that Arthur rarely ever took off. Merlin was glad that Arthur still had it with him after everything that had just happened to provide some comfort, but it still didn't present Merlin with any solutions...
Wait.
Oh no.
Swallowing thickly, Merlin called out to Arthur again.
"Arthur, do you know of any, any other ways to elevate a peasant to the status of a noble?"
"I'm afraid not. Me granting knighthoods to peasants was the first legal opportunity for peasants to elevate their stations. There is no other way."
Merlin closed his eyes and tried to hold back his frustration. He wouldn't have to resort to that, surely?
"And you've really thought this through, Arthur? If you don't accept a knighthood, I don't think that there's any other way that I can legally make you a noble again, much less the king. Are you really prepared to go the rest of your life as a peasant with no title, no lands, no riches, nothing?"
Merlin could see that his words gave Arthur pause, forcing him to at least reconsider Merlin's offer. Merlin internally pleaded with Arthur to please don't be an idiot, just take the offer!
Finally, Arthur seemed to have reached his decision, as he glared at Merlin once again with conviction.
"I might be forced to live out my days as a peasant, but at least I'll be a peasant with my honor and integrity intact."
Merlin was, at this point, sorely tempted to bash his head into the stone wall behind him. Why, why did this clotpole have to make his life so difficult?!
Merlin gave a heavy sigh as he nodded, accepting Arthur's decision. Arthur looked rather smug about Merlin conceding to him, which he wouldn't be feeling if he knew exactly what Merlin had in mind as his contingency plan.
"Very well then. You've made it clear that you won't willingly take this one opportunity for me to give you your throne back. But make no mistake, you are the Once and Future King. This is your destiny, and I will see that it comes to pass, no matter what I have to do. I know that it might be unfair, but I only ask that you forgive me for what I do next. Please remember, everything I do, I do for you and the kingdom that you're destined to build."
Arthur's expression had gone from smug to confused to concerned very quickly, but Merlin didn't acknowledge the slight fear that had appeared on Arthur's face. Instead, he carefully pushed Arthur's blanket, which had been lying at the foot of the cell door, through the bars, ensuring that Arthur could grab it.
After that, Merlin turned on his heel and walked out of the now silent dungeons, his footsteps sounding authoritative and ominous as they echoed off of the stone walls.
Despite his measured footsteps, Merlin's mind was moving at sprinter's pace, trying to plan out everything that would need to be done in the coming days. The first thing that he definitely needed to do was let the steward know that he needed to plan a wedding on short notice.
After all, it wasn't uncommon for conquerors to marry their war prizes.
I hope you all enjoyed this continuation! Were you right in your guess as to what Merlin had in mind at the end of part 2? Please let me know if you'd like another part of this story!
I'll try to tag everyone who asked for a part 3 here. Thank you all for your support!
@magic-mushroomss @miyriu @whole-buncha-snakess @achillesuwu @aerismoon
@tidalwavesandthunderstorms @marki9 @isaidno @retro-wallflower @samwinjester
@lascienzadellafantasia @sugar-coated-prat-dragon @theoldfroglady @ryeallytired @mind-of-a-crow
@whynotreinventmyselfeveryday @likeapaperplane @odinjm @orliththedragon @aglmry
@caraspud @aostrek-236 @justaz @slippysalt @coffee-shop-gay
@the-king-and-the-druidess @theroundbartable @fanfic-library-for-me @linotheghost @scuttlingsleipnir
@guiltyscarlet
And, as always, than you for reading through my ramblings! :D
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𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/057a16c9eb9261bf8c1dca7103bfb57f/a18583fa401b4781-cf/s540x810/5b04230bc71bbfaf9a949ff71d5cb3f37fddbb9f.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3fbe7f518d70b89fa5a4922ec8450689/a18583fa401b4781-ef/s540x810/7e7ffd060ed57744678834f008c1c1d7cea8dca7.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e67af2d19e1b039f825c0ea31b3d336a/a18583fa401b4781-d7/s540x810/b616fa38646b8a5ca387fe033931c9b8e7ab6d49.jpg)
pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
summary: “one day, i will stop falling in love with you / some day, someone will like me like i like you / until then, i’ll drink my coffee, eat my pie”
includes: best friends to lovers, no use of y/n, you work at family video with steve and robin, idiots to lovers, pining, angst, reader is emotional, emetophobia warning (2 mentions but no actual), fluff, robin buckley is a meddler, song inspired fic but i added a happy ending
a/n: this is the first ever oneshot that I have actually finished and am posting! yay me! I also totally didn't write this instead of doing my bio homework. this is barely edited and probably horrible but give me some grace because this is my first time writing one of these
word count: 5000
⊹₊⟡⋆
You were sure that the coffee and cherrie pie from the bakery down the street was the sole reason for getting you through your shifts at family video.
Sure, it helped that you shared most of your shifts with your two best friends, Steve and Robin, but the fact that you were hopelessly in love with one of said best friends seemed to get in the way of enjoying your shifts with them.
Robin helped make it more tolerable, however her looks of pity sent your way whenever a pretty girl came in to flirt with Steve just made it blatantly obvious how pathetic your feelings for him were.
Being one of Steve’s best friends also meant that you had to listen to every nauseating detail of his conquests with these women, making your inadequacy feel even stronger.
The bell on the door chimed, signalling that a customer had entered the store, and looking over you saw a pretty blonde around your age walk in.
You don’t bother to get up, knowing that Steve will be there to greet her before you can even stand up.
As predicted, Steve jumps up, stumbling over his feet to greet the girl. You sigh, and reach into your paper bag to grab your boxed slice of cherry pie which frankly has turned into a comfort food for situations like this.
Seemingly moving on their own accord, your eyes look up to see Steve leaning on the counter with a sly smile on his face, and you know that your feelings for him were futile.
“You know that Steve’s just an idiot, right? He has feelings for you, he’s just too blind to see what’s right in front of him.” Robin says once Steve is out of earshot.
“Or,” you start, dragging the word out, “there’s nothing for him to see. He doesn’t care like i do, he doesn’t like me like i like him. It’s okay, i’ve made my peace with it.”
Robin glances over her shoulder once more, and when she’s sure that Steve is distracted she grabs your shoulders, “he likes you!” she exclaims.
“He’s just too stupid to realize. Just tell him how you feel! I know society thinks that’s men’s job but frankly I think that’s sexist, and Steve’s too stupid to do it himself. All this pining would be over if you’d just tell him how you feel!” she says while shaking your shoulders to emphasize her point
“Rob, it’s never going to happen.” you shake your head at her.
Before Robin can argue back, the topic of your conversation starts walking towards you both, grinning while waving his hand in the air, and you make out messy numbers scribbled with ink on his skin.
The second Steve opens his mouth, you figure it would be in your best interest to tune it out, and you turn back to your pie as if it’s suddenly the most enticing thing in the room.
You let yourself enjoy your pie, and for a minute, let yourself pretend that you and Steve are more than friends, and that the sick feeling coursing through you is simply because of the coffee and pie and not heartbreak.
The bell chimes, indicating a customer has entered the store, and this time it’s your turn to jump up.
“I’ve got this one” you say, glad you have an excuse to get away from the conversation.
You hurriedly walk up to the counter, and you see a boy, about your age, scanning his eyes around the store.
“You need help finding anything?” You ask, mustering up a friendly smile.
“I’m lookin’ for something scary. Do you have Poltergeist? Or anything similar.” He asks.
“Over there,” you say pointing. “Do you want me to get it for you?” you ask.
“I think i’ve got it from here,” he says with a smile, glancing down at your name tag and reading it aloud.
You watch as he retreats, before finally stopping to scan through the movies. After a few seconds he reaches up, plucks the movie off the shelf and is making his way back up to the counter.
“Have you found everything you’re looking for?” You ask in your trained customer service voice.
He nods, before asking “So, have you seen this one? Is it any good?”
You respond, and soon enough find yourself too distracted by the conversation with the boy to notice the very familiar interaction that you had just previously had going on between your coworkers.
“You’re jealous!” Robin gasps.
“Shhhh!” Steve says, covering her mouth with his hand. “Shut up!”
“Ew,” Robin says, shoving his hand off her “You didn’t deny it!” She sing songs.
“I’m not jealous, i just think it’s inappropriate for customers to be flirting with the employees” He says defensively, eyeing the way the boys eyes light up with interest at whatever you’re saying, leaning over the counter slightly.
His comment receives a deadpanned look from Robin, “Dude, look at your hand. You literally were just bragging about how you scored that ‘totally hot girl’s’ number.”
Steve opens his mouth, ready to defend himself, but after failing to come up with something to say, he closes his mouth in defeat.
He lets out an exasperated sigh, “Okay, fuck, maybe I am.”
“Hah! I knew it.” Robin says smugly. “So,” she says, dragging out the ‘o’ “When are you gonna do something about it?”
“I can’t-“ he starts “I don’t know!” he exclaims.
“Let me guess,” she starts. “You’re going to call that girl tonight like an idiot and pretend like you’re not totally in love with someone else?”
“It’s been working so far.” he shrugs, and robin squints her eyes at him.
“Is it though? Is it?” she accuses, and Steve suddenly feels small under her stare.
“Just tell her, you dingus!” Too distracted, neither Steve or Robin notice that you’re back until your voice breaks them out of their argument.
“Tell who what?” you ask, and Steve and Robin both look at each other nervously, leaving you confused.
“She, uh, was giving me pointers for when I ask that hot blonde out.” Steve says, and you shudder.
“You’re such a boy.” You motion with your hand for Steve to move off the stool you were previously sitting on, and when he complies, you sit back down and take a sip of your coffee.
You make a face at the change of temperature of your coffee, and Steve laughs. “Gone cold?” he muses.
You shut him up with a glare, and the three of you go back into a comfortable silence as you stare at the clock, waiting for your shift to end.
After what feels like an eternity, the three of you start closing the store once your shift ends, and you plop down into the drivers seat of your car with a groan.
You start driving, and you hope that the soft music and pretty sunset is enough to bring you out of your spiral of thoughts, but when a familiar song comes on, a song that Steve showed you, you start to think that you’re cursed.
The song brings you back to the moment where you were sitting in the passenger seat of Steve’s beemer, your legs up on the dashboard despite Steve’s scolding that it’s ‘dangerous’, to which you would reply ‘whatever, mom”.
The sun was setting in the sky, similar to how it is now, you and Steve taking turns sharing music after arguing over what to listen to, Steve claiming that he had the better music taste, to which you would argue back that yours is better. After going back and forth, you ended up with a compromise of taking turns picking the music.
You remember that night vividly, because that was the night you caught the first glimmer of hope that maybe he liked you like you liked him. It was also the night where that hope was crushed just as quickly as it came.
You had caught him staring, but too distressed at what that could possibly mean you pretended you didn’t notice. You spent the rest of the night going over and over in your head of what that look possibly could have meant, driving yourself crazy to the point where Steve noticed that there was something wrong.
Steve stopped, mid sentence when he noticed that far away, troubled look in your eyes once again.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked, seemingly bringing you out of your daze.
“Hm?”
“I said, what’s going on in that head of yours? I don’t think you’ve registered a single word of that story I was just telling you.” he says, with a slight laugh.
“Feels like i’m talking to a wall.” he teases, however you catch the glint of worry.
For a minute, you thought about telling him. You thought about spilling every thought that had been plaguing your mind since you realized that you were in love with him a few weeks back. You wanted to tell him you loved him. That you were in love with him.
You open your mouth to say something, but the words seem to catch in your throat, and tears start streaming down your face instead.
Not to sound dramatic, but Steve thought he could feel his heart breaking in his chest watching you, his best friend, breaking down beside him in his car. He wished he could wave a magic wand and take away all your hurt. Hell, he would even take all the hurt on himself if it meant he got to see you smile.
“What’s going on?” he asked you, “You know you’re my best friend, you can tell me anything.”
Steve hoped his words would reassure you, but instead you just sobbed harder.
You shook your head, and Steve figured that was you saying you didn’t want to talk about it, and he was right, partially, he just didn’t realize that it wasn’t just you not wanting to talk about it. He didn’t realize that the real reason you were shaking your head was because you didn’t want to be his best friend. You loved him, but not how best friends typically loved each other. You were in love with him.
You realized then, that that was all you would be. His best friend. You didn’t want to ruin your friendship, and you knew that if you told him how you felt, you definitely would, so you decided that it would be in everyone’s best interest to never let him find out.
Little did you know, those same fears swirled around in your best friend’s head as well.
“M’sorry, I promise I don’t mean to cry.” you tell him. “I’m just, i’m overwhelmed and confused.”
Steve caught the look that you were giving him, your pleading eyes begging him to not ask you what you were overwhelmed and confused by. As badly as he wanted to ask, he remembered all the times that you were there for him no questions asked, and he knew that as your best friend, that he owed you the same respect.
He settled with holding you in his arms while you cried into his chest. He whispered soft, reassuring words, not knowing that he was the reason you needed them.
Later that week, you’re sat by the counter, once again eating your pie, wondering whether your shift could go by any slower.
This time, it was just you and Steve sharing your shift, and at first it made you nervous knowing that Robin wouldn’t be there and you’d be left alone with Steve and your feelings for him, but it had been surprisingly going pretty well.
You noticed that Steve seemed tense as well, but after him brushing your questioning eye off, you decided not to bother him about it.
“What did that pie do to you?” Steve teases, noting the way you are stabbing your fork into the pie as if you have some vendetta against it.
“I’m bored.” you groan, dragging the word out. “I miss Robin.”
Steve brings his hand up to his chest, acting as though he was wounded. “Am I not enough for you?"
When you bark out a laugh, the corner of his lips twitch up into a smile as he gazes at you with a fond look that makes you feel like you’re about to vomit. Not out of disgust, but from the overwhelming feelings that he makes you feel. Vomiting is about the most accurate way to describe how it makes you feel, and you try not to imagine the look you’d receive from Robin if she heard that.
The door chimes, and with Steve being closer, he gets up to greet the customer. Just as he’s getting ready to ask how he can help, he pauses when he realizes that it’s the same guy who was in the store flirting with you the other day.
He clenches his jaw, remembering yours and Robins scolding that he needed to be better with his customer service, and grits out “Welcome to Family Video, how can I help?”
Just to Steve’s surprise, more like disappointment, the customer tells him that he was actually hoping to speak to you.
Hearing your name, you look up and smile when you see Matt, the customer from the other day. You get up and walk towards them, turning to Steve to tell him that you’ve got it from here. He begrudgingly leaves, but still stays in earshot.
“I’m just here to return this.” Matt says, setting the movie on the desk. You pick it up, and begin scanning it and clicking buttons on the computer.
“How’d you like it? You owe me that review you promised.”
“Well, i’ve actually spent the past couple days trying to think of the best way to tell you my thoughts, and I thought maybe we could discuss it over coffee?” he says, eyes hopeful.
You’re taken aback for a minute, struggling to remember the last time someone asked you out, and then wondering whether he meant as a date, or just as friends, but before you can think of something to say, Matt speaks again.
“I hope i’m not coming on to foreword or reading this wrong, I just think that you’re gorgeous and would love to take you on a date.” he sends you a shy smile.
“I, yeah, i’d like that.” you manage to sputter out, sharing Matt’s same shy smile. “I’m off tomorrow, but I work the rest of the week.” you tell him.
“How about noon? We could go to the cafe down the street if you’d like. Or anywhere else.”
“The cafe works. I’ll see you then.” You tell him, feeling giddy as a smile graces your face as you finish running through his return. Matt matches your smile, and waves before making his way out of the store.
You watch as he walks out the door and out of eyesight, and do a little happy dance, ignoring the fact that Steve is going to definitely make fun of you.
For a minute, the hopeless feeling that had settled over you because of Steve’s unshared feelings is forgotten, and you think that maybe won’t be as hard to get over him as you thought. Maybe you will find someone who likes you how you like Steve, and you’ll be able to stop falling for him.
“I thought you didn’t go on dates.” Steve says once you turn around, and the smile quickly falling off your face.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Seeing the hurt look on your face, Steve quickly clarifies.
“You just always say that you’re more content staying single. That dating just causes unnecessary stress that you don’t have to have when you’re single.”
“I don’t know, I just changed my mind I guess.” you say, and Steve raises an eyebrow at you.
“What made you change your mind?” he questions.
“Why does it have to matter?” you say. “It just felt nice to have someone be interested in me.”
Steve accepts your answer, and you both continue to work in silence. You wonder why Steve doesn’t seem as happy for you as you expected, and it sends a pang through your chest.
The next day comes around fast, and after spending about an hour debating what to wear, noon finally comes around and you nervously step foot inside the cafe, despite the amount of times you’ve been here.
You glance around, and you spot Matt already sitting down at a table. You shyly walk over to him, suddenly uncomfortably aware of everything you do.
After the initial nervousness settles down and you both have ordered, conversation starts flowing easily, and you find that you and Matt have a lot more in common than you originally expected.
You feel comfortable around him, and after learning more and more about each other, you find yourselves talking to each other like you’ve known each other for years.
You like Matt, you really do, but despite how much you like him and how well you guys are getting on, a nagging feeling won’t leave you alone.
You know it’s wrong, but as you tell Matt about yourself, you can’t help but think about Steve, and how he already knows all this about you. Honestly, you think Steve knows more about you than you do.
Internally, you start connecting everything to Steve, and this realization suddenly starts making you feel both guilty and uncomfortable.
As the date starts to wrap itself up, you realize you need to be honest with him. Getting over Steve is apparent to be way more difficult than you anticipated, and you know it’s unfair to string Matt along when your heart is elsewhere.
You decide to just be upfront with him, telling him exactly as such, and Matt’s reaction is the exact opposite to what you expected.
He doesn’t seem upset, he just simply looks at you with understanding, and if anything, it makes you feel even more guilty.
“It’s okay, i’m just glad you were able to realize this and be upfront with me now. The heart wants what it wants, and I can’t blame you for that.” he tells you.
“I just feel so bad, I really thought i’d be able to do this, and I do really like you, but I just can’t.” you sigh, feeling disappointed in yourself.
“It’s that coworker of yours, right?” he asks, leaving you shocked.
“How did-“ you start to say, looking at him with bewilderment.
“I noticed how he looked at you when I came by the store, both times, I thought there might be something there but was just hoping I was wrong.” he tells you, and it just leaves you more confused.
He doesn’t look at you in any way, does he? Seemingly noticing your distress at this new information, Matt continues on.
“He looked like he was ready to have me banned from the store,” he says with a laugh. “it’s clear as day that he has feelings for you, and you feel the same way, so just tell him.” you continue looking at him with bewilderment, but this time for a different reason.
“This was not the direction I was expecting this to go in.” You say with a breathy laugh.
“I know, believe me,” he says with a laugh, “I know this is definitely not how either of us expected this to end up, but I still would like to at least be your friend. How does that sound to you?”
“I would like to be your friend as well, I meant what I said, I do really like you, I just feel really bad about this whole situation.” you tell him nervously.
“Don’t, I meant what I said as well, the heart wants what it wants. So, friends?” he says, offering you his hand for a handshake, and you laugh. You take his hand, and shake it.
“Friends sounds good.” you say with a smile.
“Now that we’re friends, i’m telling you this as a friend, tell him how you feel.” he says sternly.
“God, you sound like Robin. Don’t make me regret agreeing to be friends.” you say lightheartedly.
You both say your goodbyes, telling him that now that he has friend privileges you can snag him any good movies coming in that he requests, and he promises to stop by the store sometime soon.
Driving home, you start to feel a sense of clarity come over you. You think that maybe telling Steve isn’t a bad idea, Matt only saw Steve twice and could say with confidence that Steve had feelings for you, maybe he was right?
But what if he was wrong? What if Matt was wrong and you make a fool out of yourself and ruin your friendship?
You realize that your friendship would be ruined either way, because thinking about it, you don’t know if you have it in you anymore to keep having your heart broken. You either tell him, and risk him not feeling the same way and ruining your friendship, or not telling him and end up definitely ruining your friendship because you can’t handle just being his friend.
If you’re going to lose him either way, you figure you might as well just tell him. Now you really feel like you’re going to throw up.
The next day, you work the closing shift with once again just Steve, and the entire time leading up to it all you feel is dread. You even consider calling in sick and asking Robin to cover for you, but you push through it and find yourself walking through the staff doors, getting ready to start your shift.
You and Steve start working as you usually would, closing shift on Thursday's always being quiet, him making his regular comments and you once again sitting on your stool drinking your coffee and eating your pie.
Despite Steve being your best friend and you both having worked together without Robin many times, you both feel the uncomfortable shift in the air.
“How’d your, uh, date go?” Steve asks, internally cursing himself out.
“It went good.” you say, sounding unsure. Steve raises an eyebrow at you in question, and you clarify.
“It went good,” you say, sounding more sure of yourself. “We had a surprising amount of things in common, and the conversation came really easily. Honestly for a moment it felt like we had known each other for years.” you tell him with a smile on your face as you think back at yesterday.
“Oh, that’s- that’s good. You’ll probably be going out with him again?” Steve asks, and it may be you going crazy, or did he sound disappointed? Is it bad that that makes you feel happy?
“Yeah, we will, I think. Not on another date, though.” you tell him, paying close attention to how Steve reacts. When he keeps a calm composure, just looking confused, you think that maybe you were just crazy.
“We decided that we’d be better as friends.” you clarify.
“Oh, how come? You seem to really like him.” he asks, and you think that this might be your opportunity to tell him how you feel. You pause for a minute, trying to think of the best way to word what you are going to say next.
“I realized that my hearts," you pause, "elsewhere? I do really like him but I didn’t think it would be fair to string him along if I wasn’t fully in it.” you tell him carefully.
“Elsewhere? Like you have feelings for someone?” you nod.
“Why’d you agree to go out with him if you have feelings for someone else?”
“I don’t know, he seemed like a really good guy and I thought maybe i’d be able to get over my feelings but I was wrong.” you tell him, shamefully.
“It was nice having someone be interested in me." you begin to explain, "I figured since the person that I want to be won’t ever be interested in me, maybe it was time to move on. And it felt nice. Being in love with someone who only sees you as a friend sucks and for a minute I was able to forget about it. I don’t want to keep letting him break my heart again.” you explain.
Steve doesn’t say anything, he just looks at you as if you’re some difficult math question, and you feel yourself shrinking under his gaze.
“Who are you in love with?” he finally asks.
You open your mouth to respond, and once again, just like the time you were sat beside him in his car, you're unable to get any words out, and a tear slowly falls down your cheek instead.
You went over this conversation many times in your head, preparing how you were going to tell him, but now that it was happening, it all went right out the window.
Steve steps closer to you, and wipes the tear from your cheek, and the action makes you want to cry harder but you force yourself to keep your composure. You tell yourself all you have to do is get this over with, and then you can cry as much as you want.
“How do you know that he isn’t in love with you too? What makes you so certain?” Steve asks, figuring his first question was too difficult for you to answer.
“He flirts with other girls all the time. And I get friend zoned practically on a daily basis.” You manage to mumble.
“How do you know he isn’t doing what you were trying to do by going on that date? What if he thinks that you don’t like him back, and that’s why he does that?” Steve asks, and you wonder whether there’s more to what he’s asking. You chalk it up to him just wanting to make you feel better, and sigh.
“I don’t know whether this is just Robin getting to my head, but is the guy me?” Steve finally asks.
Your silence is enough of an answer, but then you finally nod your head in confirmation. “It’s okay though, one day I will stop falling in love with you and we can pretend this never happened, some day I’ll find someone who likes me like I like you and we can go back to normal.”
You honestly think at this point you’re more trying to reassure yourself than you are Steve. You reason that he’s the one who made you fall in love with him, so you’re allowed to try to reassure yourself.
“What if I don’t want you to?” he says, and your eyes go wide, thinking that he has to be messing with you.
“What if I don’t want you to stop falling in love with me? What if I don’t want to pretend like this never happened? What if I don’t want you to find someone else? Because you won’t need to, because I do like you like you like me.” he continues, and you shake your head, not believing him.
“Look at me.” he commands softly. Instead of doing what he asks, you stubbornly close your eyes and face your head down, scared to look at him. Scared that if you look at him you’ll see that he was joking and you’ll be stuck feeling humiliated.
Steve gently brings his hand under your chin and lifts it up so your head is facing him, but you refuse to open your eyes. When you hear him let out a little laugh, you feel glad that you didn’t look, fearing the worst.
“Hey, look at me, please.” he says, and his begging tone is what makes you finally peak your eyes open.
Steve’s close, closer than you realized, and his eyes are looking right into yours, and you don’t see any mocking or teasing looks in his eyes like you expected.
His eyes leave yours, slowly traveling down to your lips. “I can prove it to you if you don’t believe me.”
He looks back up at you, silently asking for permission, and all you’re able to say is a breathless “okay.”
He grins, and slowly leans in, allowing you time to change your mind, and when you don’t, he finally presses his lips against yours.
Your eyes flutter closed, and his hand that was under your chin comes up to softly cup your jaw, and suddenly all you feel is him.
At this point, the tears that you had trying so hard to hold in finally stream down your face, however this time for an entirely different reason. All the love that you had been suppressing down was finally released, the emotion pouring out of you as you kissed.
Steve pulls away, noticing your tears, and his eyes widen in a panic. When you respond with a laugh, he calms down and wipes your tears.
“I knew it,” he starts. “you do taste like coffee and pie.”
You’re both grinning, and he leans down and kisses you again. If you thought the first kiss was a lot, this one nearly knocks you off your feet with the force of passion that he kisses you with.
His hands move down to your waist, pulling you even closer and you let out a squeak of surprise. Your hands move on their own accord to grip at his collar, and the groan he lets out is nearly enough to make you faint.
This time you’re the one to pull away, feeling like you’re about to run out of air, and you both are left flushed and breathing heavily.
The bell on the door chimes, bringing you both out of your daze. Steve sighs and sets off to greet the customer, with a promise that this will be continued later, both of you with a giddy feeling you didn’t have at the start of your shift.
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