#see the pregnant woman? sarah's actually the father <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[swallowedabug]

MAYKO NGUYEN Hudson & Rex 6.13 (2024)

[justagalwhowrites]

The Savage and the Sanctuary - Prologue

Tommy offers Joel help one last time. The prologue to The Savage and the Sanctuary, a no outbreak TLOU story found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

CW: Grief. Mentions of child death. No use of Y/N. Whole fic will be explicit so minors DNI, 18+ only.

Length: 1.3k

Fic Masterlist | Masterlist | AO3 | Next Chapter

“If you think I’m not going to fight for what’s mine, you’re insane!” 

Joel remembered the woman on the screen. She was young, beautiful, her perfectly made up face snarled in rage. He remembered her. He always remembered her. 

He remembered the scene, too. 

Sarah had loved this show. She was obsessed, one of her friends at school put her onto it and she watched it all in a matter of weeks on Netflix. 

Joel had hated this show. There were drugs and sex and Sarah was just 13 when she watched it but he’d been such a sucker for her that he let her. He’d always been a sucker for her. He always gave her whatever she asked for. 

Maybe that had been wrong.

Maybe if he’d stood his ground more, maybe if he’d been a better father instead of just giving his daughter whatever she wanted, she wouldn’t be dead. 

“Mr. Miller?” 

Joel looked away from the television, reminded that he was in the hospital and that it must be after 3 a.m. by now. The nurse stood in the doorway, an almost pitying look on her face. 

“Your brother is here to see you.” 

Joel just went back to watching the TV. The woman he remembered was still there, beautiful face streaked with tears.

“I can’t believe you,” she whispered. She was a good actress, he thought. Convincing. She sounded like she was in pain. He doubted someone like her even knew what that would really feel like, what that would really sound like. He did. He knew. 

“Joel.” 

He looked to the door, his brother standing there, the early morning beginnings of a beard on his chin, in athletic wear instead of the suit he saw him in so often these days. He looked back to the TV. 

“You can’t keep doing this, man,” Tommy said, coming in and standing beside him. The woman on the TV raised a gun. “You can’t keep beating the shit out of people you don’t like, I can’t keep trying to buy them off, Maria can’t keep talking you out of trouble with the cops… Hell, I only really talked Maria into it this time because it’s the anniversary of the day she… we know it’s hard but you’re this close to ending up in deep shit with an actual rap sheet, man.” 

She screamed and sobbed as she pulled the trigger. 

“Joel.” 

The woman panted for breath before lifting the gun to her temple. It cut to commercial. 

“Sarah loved that show,” Joel said, looking away from the TV to see Tommy close his eyes and shake his head with a sigh. 

“I know you’ve been strugglin’,” Tommy said, crossing his arms and looking at him again. “And I don’t blame you, alright? What you’ve been through… I’d be a wreck too. I know it ain’t the same but it killed me too, for a while, losing her that way. Can’t even imagine what it’s like for you. But Joel… it’s been three years now. You can’t keep destroying yourself like this, you just can’t. It’s killing me to watch you do it but I don’t got it in me to keep saving you. I cannot let you drag me down with you, not now, not with…” 

He clenched his jaw for a moment, looking back toward the door and back at Joel again. 

“Maria’s pregnant.” Joel’s heart clenched. “She’s my focus now. I want to be there for you, Joel. Lord knows I owe you after everything you did for me but I can’t do it at the expense of myself or my wife and my kid. You understand?” 

Joel nodded slowly, looking to his boots. There was a dark spot on the left toe, the leather never really clean from the blood. 

“Here,” Tommy held out a business card.

Joel frowned. 

“Think I know how to get ahold of my own brother.” 

“This ain’t for me,” Tommy said. “It’s my hiring manager. This is the last thing I’m doin’ for you, Joel. Come and work for me. I can help you that way, make sure you’re not out there on your own. You don’t got the formal training of the other guys but we can handle that. Christ knows you got the raw skill, just ask the asshole whose face you rearranged…” 

“He’s lucky that’s all I did,” Joel snapped. 

Tommy ignored him. 

“Once your hand heals up, we can get you started,” Tommy said, card still out. Joel took it, running his fingers over the embossed lettering. “I want to help you, Joel. I want to be there for you. This is the last way I can do that. Understand?” 

He just looked at the card, Miller Security in large letters, Military Grade Personal Protection in smaller ones below. The email address was for someone named Marlene. 

Joel had probably met her at some point but he didn’t remember her. Joel had been to a few company BBQs and happy hours for the private security company his brother had founded about six months after his daughter died. 

Tommy used to work alongside Joel, the two of them taking contracting work together. If wasn’t easy work but it was satisfying. Joel liked building things, liked working with his hands and seeing the physical manifestations of his labor. It wasn’t a bad life, in hindsight. Not since he’d blown it. 

After his daughter died, Joel couldn’t keep working. He tried, after a few weeks, to get back to it but he sometimes showed up drunk, sometimes didn’t show up at all. It wasn’t long before he was fired and word spread. Soon, he got shot down for every job he tried for. He’d screwed over not just himself but Tommy, too. 

That’s how Tommy came to create the security company to begin with. He had a few old special forces buddies move back to town looking for work and Tommy realized he had a lot of highly trained men with time on their hands at his fingertips. What better way to put them to use than to start a security company?

The business took off. Joel was proud of him. Or, as proud as he could be while the rot of guilt gnawed at him for letting down his then struggling brother so badly he needed to start his own fucking business to fix it. 

And now his brother - six years his junior, the kid he’d promised his mother he’d look after when she was on her death bed - was offering him a job after bailing him out at least a dozen times in three years. 

“I want to help, Joel,” Tommy said. “Please let me. Work with me, get back on your feet, have a support system. I want to help but you have to let yourself be helped. Please.” 

Joel tucked the card into the pocket of his shirt and looked at Tommy, a pleading look in his eyes. Eyes that reminded him of Sarah. 

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll email in the mornin’.” 

Tommy closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Thank you,” he said as a nurse came in around him. “I’ll be out here, give you a ride home…” 

“We’ll have him out quick,” the woman smiled kindly as Tommy turned to go. “I’m here to handle discharge. Can you confirm your name and birthday for me?” 

“Joel Miller,” he said. “September 26, 1982.” 

“Oh!” She looked up from the chart and smiled at Joel. “Happy birthday!” 

Next Chapter

A/N: Welcome to The Savage and the Sanctuary! I like to introduce my new fics as I'm finishing up an existing one. This likely won't get chapter one for a few weeks yet but you never know what might happen! I hope you're excited to go on this journey as Joel learns to find himself again after surviving the loss of Sarah. There's a lot of angst and excitement and smut ahead! Fingers crossed you enjoy the ride.

Love you!

Taglist: @christinamadsen

[c0la-queen]

Hellooo! I just found your page and saw that you write eddsworld stuff! (It’s hard to find fics like yours) and I was reading some of it and I just had a request I wanted to ask (if you don’t mind :D) okay so imagine tords father being actually affectionate with his wife (in private of course) but not just like kisses and stuff he’s LITERALLY all over his wife and is literally not afraid to drag her into the bedroom and tries to tell tord to be like that with his future wife! Btw I love all your fics I’m still reading them now lol

Okay this is a little funny to me because I'm just imagining my version of Tord except he has zero to minimal amounts of daddy issues compared to what he has in my usual timeline. So for this ask, we're delving into Tord: Healthy Family Edition. (Also I am so sorry for being dead. I'm a freshman going to college for the first time and have been adapting to everything!! You guys' support and patience means everything to me!)

--

So we're running off the scenario I gave in my Red Leader dating headcanons. If you haven't read that, see my General Dating Headcanons post.

If you're not interesting in reading that, which I totally understand, here's a brief summary of how Red Leader and Reader met:

Reader starts out as Red Leader's personal secretary. He's notorious for having such a horrible temper that he runs through secretaries like Sarah Boone ran through lawyers (true crime joke, sorry). However, Reader handled his temper and returned it to him tenfold, earning his respect and eventually his love.

Now, in this world, Tord actually had a healthy family life. As the ask said, his father was very openly affectionate and in love with Tord's mother when in private. With Tord and his younger sister, it was what you'd see from parents in media that were happy and in love. Open PDA, frequent dates, and compliments galore. Tord's father, as the Red Leader, would shower Tord's mother in gifts - the finest jewelry in whichever metal she preferred, luxury chocolates, trips to different countries, etc. But it wasn't always money. He spoiled her in other ways, too. Filling the house with vases of her favorite flowers. Giving her massages in the privacy of their bedroom if she was sore. Doing everything in the house on days when she's especially tired. When his mother was pregnant with Tord's younger sister, his father's already heavy spoiling was increased tenfold. Tord was old enough to perceive the world at that point, so his father made sure to hammer into his brain that when his future wife is pregnant, he needs to treat her like a goddess incarnate. Tord took that to heart.

When Tord got older - about his teenage years, maybe around when his father had "the talk" with him (he had no idea Tord didn't need "the talk" and that he had been exposed to copious amounts of hentai when he was 15) - his father started to teach Tord how he expected him to treat his future wife all the time. Of course, Tord had grown up seeing how his father lavished on his mother. But there were some parts that he didn't quite understand as a child that his father clarified. Like his mother's periods! His father taught Tord that while all periods were experienced differently, there were a few different things that generally all period-havers enjoyed. I recently saw a TikTok where a woman said "however much you're spoiling your girlfriend during her period, I want you to triple it." This is something that Tord's father would say to him.

As for bedroom happenings, Tord's parents would do what good parents should do and make sure that the kids are never exposed to that part of their lives. When they're old enough to know what sex even is, Tord wants NOTHING to do with even thinking about his parents having sex. It sends shivers down his spine. For your pleasure as the dear readers on the other side of the screen, I will just say - Tord definitely got his father's genetics <3. Tord's mother was a very content woman.

Back to present day Red Leader (Tord, not his father), there are two stages to his relationship with Reader. The first stage is when they're still dating. Well,, dating in Reader's eyes. As I said in the general headcanons, Red Leader sees dating Reader as an unneeded formality. But Reader, being sensible, still wanted to take it slow instead of jumping straight into marriage. She would continue to work as his personal secretary - its his fucking army, whose going to stop him? The HR department isn't going to say anything since they're both consenting adults and any soldier who is stupid enough to try to accuse Reader of being a gold-digger is going to be cleaning every bathroom on base for a month.

Where it differs in this timeline is that Red Leader wouldn't try to keep a professional air around you in public. He'll come up behind you and wrap his arms around your torso, resting his chin on your shoulder. It doesn't matter if you're talking to another soldier about some paperwork or some other red tape nonsense. If the soldier you're talking to has any objections, they're quickly silenced by Red Leader's piercing stare. They're not risking putting their ass on the line. If you berate him for it afterwards, Red Leader will just pout and whine like a petulant child. He was getting bored doing paperwork and just wanted to hold you, how is that a problem :( He's so protective of you and is even more open about it now. He'll give you at least one body guard if you're going somewhere without him. Makes sure that you're exempt from normal soldier duties because HIS darling should only be tending to him and that's it. He openly shows so much favoritism toward you that even if you two were trying to keep your relationship a secret, every soldier was able to see it within like a week.

Once you two are married, you don't have the option of still getting to be a soldier. Red Leader will let you have whatever hobby you want - no matter how strange, niche, or complex it is, he'll fund it just to make you happy - but you're not going to be doing ANY kind of work if he has anything to say about it. Even if you just end up sleeping through most of the day, he's perfectly content to let you nap the day away all safe and cuddled up in his luxury satin bedsheets. Shows so much PDA all the time. Doesn't matter where you are or who is there. If you're in the base and some soldiers come into Red's office for something, he'll talk to them with a straight face while you lounge on his lap doing something or other. Discussion over drinks with an ally world leader of his? He'll still have you pulled flush to his side with his arm around your waist. Out in public with cameras on you? You bet your ass he'll still pull you in for a sweet, chaste kiss or press his lips to your temple as a silent reminder that he loves you.

Took all his father's advice to heart. You are the most spoiled person on the entire planet, you think. Cleopatra would be so envious with the way that you had Red Leader falling to his knees at your feet just to make you happy. Anything you want, anything at all, he'll get it for you. There has been multiple times where you were craving something specific from a certain country and Red Leader made it his mission to fly out to that country just to get you your craving. All the same kinds of presents that he watched his father shower on his mother - he would get for you, too. Jewelry in your favorite gemstones or ones that matched your eyes. Diamonds in every form, shape, and size. Clothing made of the finest imported materials. Desserts from around the world that were made for queens. Hundreds of dollars of perfumes in your favorite scents. Anything and everything just for you.

Takes your periods very seriously. He somehow knows your cycle better than you do. Tracks it like his life depends on it. He knows that your period is coming days before you're even aware that its time. The morning it starts, he's already got everything on hand. Whatever things work best for your period. A heating pad or ice packs, a bottle of Midol, and every snack and drink that you crave. He'll have the base kitchens make bulk desserts just to have on hand for you. Ice cream is already in the freezer. You're aching or bloated? The bath is already full and has your favorite bath oils added. That metal arm does wonders to massage your aching muscles. If you need something weighted for your cramps, what better than a buff soldier to lie on top of you! (If you need any kind of release, Red Leader isn't afraid of a little blood ;3)

If you ever get pregnant? Forget ever getting up for any reason other than daily exercise that's healthy for you and the baby. Even then, you're only allowed to walk around you and Red Leader's living quarters or out in the grassy training grounds with Red Leader by your side the entire time. Other than that, you are confined to bed or couch rest at all times. You are literally growing his child every hour of the day for the next nine months. Red Leader doesn't want you even thinking of doing anything other than resting and being the amazing person that you are. He'll do everything that the base doctors said would be good for you and the baby. He makes vitamin and herbal drinks for you, gets you every craving, and makes sure you're at top health. He deals with your shifting hormones without ever making a fuss. The affection is cranked to maximum - with the gift-giving having the added bonus of baby oriented items. He was never happier than when he sat on the floor of the nursery, putting together your new IKEA crib while you researched nursery themes on Pinterest in the plush chair against the wall. Not to mention, he increased base security more than ever during those nine months. He didn't want any of his enemies even sneezing within 1,000 miles of the base without him knowing about it. Not when the love of his life was more vulnerable and fragile than ever.

Tord's father in this timeline would be proud of the man he raised. Women are a gift to this world and deserve to be treated as such. Reader is Tord's entire world and he wants her to feel like it.

[fandom-blackhole]

Episode 6!

Before episode thoughts->

Sooooo excited to see Tommy and our wife Maria <3

Also excited for the farmhouse!!!!!

Anyway onto the episode ->

THREE MONTHS LATER

rabbits 😏 (if you know you know)

Ope

The guns all the way over there

Oh man I love these two!

Theyre like 1000 lmao

I FUCKING LOVE THESE TWO

We see the bodies they leave behind 😳 wtf?

Ellie! Don't steal omfg

JOEL WTF HAPPENING

Panic attack?

Hes taping his boot together 🥺

Aww shes so cute looking at the northern lights

Can I have some? No Joel you shouldn't even be drinking

Yup still gross lmao

Wait this looks like that one concept art scene! Are they gonna start making jokes and laughing

I would raise sheep. They're quiet and do what they're told. Lmao

Ellie and her love if space 🥺

Joel’s trying to comfort her 🥺🥺🥺

Sheep ranches on the moon

Joel grabbing his back when he gets up

Joel's coat looks really nice and warm, I want

God that shot of them crossing the bridge with the mountains in the back is beautiful

SHES TRYING TO WHISTLE

THE DAMMMMMMM

The river of death really has me freaking out

The circling on horses is giving, LoTR when they arrive in Rivendel

Ellie seems to be scared of dogs, nm

Joel?! Ok this panic has got to be fixed omfg MY anxiety can't take it

Maria my LOVEEEEEEEEEE

I like that they actually go into Jackson in the show

The dude moving a single piece if fire wood with a shovel is me frfr

Awwww reunion 🥲

The dining hall looks just like the game!!!

Let's mind our manners. Does ellie even have any?? Love her

Maria is my wife, Tommy watch your back

Love herrrrrrrr

SHEEP

Wait i just realized Joel said he wanted to be a sheep farmer, in p2 the game ellie becomes a sheep farmer with dina

Shimmer!

Man they both have a dependency on each otherrrrrr

Sigh Joel why'd you lie about tess

Us? Oohhhh Joel wasn't planning on ditching ellie with Tommy

Ah man these two are bickering like brothers

Im gonna be a father!!!!! Screaming

Damn Joel thats coldddd

Im starting to get the feeling it's not gonna be rebar that takes Joel out, he's gonna have a heart issue or pneumonia or something

Ellie in pink, I never thought I'd see the day lmao

DIVA CUP

The jackettttt

Ooohhh i love the stained glass

Gasp did Maria loose someone to?? A kid??

Awww i love my wifeeee

My woman was a lawyer, love her

She was a mom!

Sarah was Joel's daughter!!

The only people hat can betray us, are the ones we trust. FORESHADOWINGGGGG

A kiddo with down syndrome!!!! That means everything

Joel's hand still bothering him

Tommy being the bigger man 🥺

Ope hes telling Tommy

Oh hes telling Tommy EVERYTHING

Aww hes telling Tommy about Henry

Omfg his anxietyyyy

Omg im gonna cry stoo this shit joel

JOELLLLLLLLL STOP

Ope now he's pushing for Tommy to take her

Stop crying Joel omfg I can't handle it

Man this place looks just like it did in the game

Oh fuck the farmhouse scene is about to happen isn't it?!?

Oh she overheard them talking 🥲🥲

The giraffe picture!

The way Joel’s face just DROPPED

Everybody i have cared for has died, or left me. Everybody, fucking except for you! So don't tell me I'd be safer with someone else because the truth is I'd just be more scared. 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

The PAIN in Bella's eyes 🥲🥲

Oh bes having flashbacks to Sarah 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

Did Tommy never show up?

Ope nm

Whats gonna happen to change Joel’s mind?

Let's go. I love her

Please please please please let her name the horse Callus

Can I borrow that? Me fucking too! I remember the p2 flashback he's got a nice fucking gun

Man Maria being pregnant is gonna change SO much during p2

You gonna shot this thing or get it pregnant? I'm rolling

The fucking musicccccccc, this is the end credit song and im living

Hes opening up to her more 🥲

Yeah we were cool.

Everybody loved condtractors.... Joel idk if thats true lmao

AH! They're talking about football!

I've got a BAD feeling

God riding through the university is 😩👌

When I was a kid I wanted to be a singer 🥲🥲

This is all so good and close to the gameee

Monkeys!

Man I wanna learn to ride a horse but my body image issues would never let me

Man even the inside of the uni looks like the game!

Its soooo much like the game im freaking outtt

Are they gonna find the recording from the doctor?

Nice! A convenient map lol

Hunters??? David's bitches!

Oh fuckk

Whats gonna happen????

Ahhhhhh he broke his neck like....oh fuck me

Dude shanked my husband!

Oh no, oh no, oh no

JOEL?!

Joel you gotta get up. I can't do this without you. 🥲

Please. Joel, please. 🥲🥲

Not the sad fucking cover of Depeche Mode!

Im over this show, fuck off omfg (a totally untrue statement)

Trailer ->

Oh no.....oh no....OH NO

Im not ready for Left Behind

Oh my sweet child

Ok ok ok The Last of Us episode 1 thoughts below!

• CLIMATE CHANGE?! (Love that honestly)

• Not me sobbing at the intro (I HOPED they'd do something like the games intro so this was a perfect surprise)

• Joels shirt is inside out 😭 (ok noticed this before it was mentioned)

• Let the man have his coffee Sarah

• Gabriel as tommy?! Sounds almost identical omggg

• The neighbors 😭 (oh I understand now.....)(I like how they changed the changing/infected neighbor scene)

• Desert Storm???? 👀

• Sarah fixing the watch instead of getting him a new one 🥺

• Sarah's backpack is so cute omg

• The dog 🥲

• "Drugs. I sell hard-core drugs." Happy screams

• Joel and his shitty movies smh (hope this is ref later with ellie and joels movie nights)

• Dammit Tommy, jail, really??

• Yo wtf grandma. No joke the cordyceps out of her mouth?!?!?

• The truck scene was done so welllllllllll

• Jimmy's place!!!

• The planes (OMFG THE PLANE)

• Ooo the car crash separating them, I approve

• These bitches CREEPY (Love that they have no fine motor control)

• Joel begging 🥲🥲🥲

• That is infact a small child (😭😭😭)(🥲🥲🥲)

• DONT YOU TWENTY YEARS LATER ME YOU BITCHES (both 2014 Hannah and 2023 Hannah)

Sarah's death was sadder here and I stand by that

• The amount of time it takes to change depending on where your bit poster is 👌👌👌

• Joel doing actual work in the QZ is kinda really funny to me (sewer maintenance) (now this is more like it....wait drug dealing??)

• MUSICCCCCCCC

• HANGING?????? IN THE QZ??? BY FEDRA???

• Tess 🥰🥰🥰

• Ooo truck battery and not guns (what about your guy?- He answers to me FUCK YEAH HE DOES....WAIT oh fuck explosion! Well fuck you anyway Robert)

•  ELLIE!! (SHE HAS HER EYEBROW SCAR! And her sense if humor) (veronica?) (unchain my child please)

• Oooo message operator! (TOMMY!) (Slavers 🤔)

• Joel planning a trip already is genius (wtf you doing drinking and doing pills?!)

• The watch 🥲

• Those walls are THIN or that baby is LOUD

• Marleneeeeeee

• I love all the yellow wires, ik in the game it was an obvious way to show you where to go, but u like that its been added to the show

• Oh damn, rip unnamed firefly Marlene talked too, you're dying in the capital (kim) (ope her ear)

• Tell me to look for the light and ill break your jaw 🥰🥰🥰

• Ellie getting water on her face lmao

• The knife 🥺

• Atleast the wrapped the handcuff so it wouldn't hurt her

• Don't talk about Riley bitch, I will fight you

• I like all the water dripping, good touch

• Joel talking construction 🥰🥰🥰

• Ok but that wallpaper in the hallway with the dead Robert, I want

• Well ellie you tried, but Joel is better

• Ellie is in fact feral, love her

• Give ellie her knife dammit (yes ellie I agree that was an asshole move)

• Ope don't mention Tommy

• What are they capable of?- alot ellie, alot

• You all talk it out but please remember I am bleeding out 😭😭😭

• God I love my husband

• Ellies shoes squishing 🤢

• Bill and Frank 🥺

• Your watch us broken 🥲

• Ok but why is all the wallpaper cute in this episode?!

• Ellie figuring out the radio code shes so smart i love her

• That door (or whatever you wanna call it) was hidden perfectly omg

• Worst time to take a piss (hahahahaha honestly fuck that guy)

• Pedro's eyes 😩 (oh fuck wait hes fucking that guy upppp)

• PTSD!!!

• THE RADIOOOOOOOOO

• THE RADIO AS IT PANS OVER THE CITY AND WE HEAR INFECTED?!? so good

• The trailer!

• The city landscapes 😩😩😩

• Frank!!!!

• There's no halfway with this, we finish what we started *indistinct screeching*

If you read all this PLEASE send me Joel thoughts, I wanna talk about my husband! Also if you want me to explain any of these ASK MEEEE!! Also, Also, I'll be doing this for every episode so if wanna be tagged in these just if be down 👉👈

[deliciousangelfestival]

Wicked Romance

Chapter 1

Character: Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve was hoping to meet the right one until he met her. But is he ready to be with her? He thought his life already dark because of his job. He wouldn’t able to find a woman that strong enough to face the hardship to stand beside him. Turn out his life is nothing compared to her. 

Warning: Maybe bad writing? Hehehe forgive me. This is my first time write and posting my own fan fiction on tumblr.

############

If an outsider sees Steve, he got everything: looks, money, status. But for him, he lacks one thing; the right person to stand beside him.  

But let’s talk about how Steve became the new mob leader.

Steve got raised by his mother Sarah Rogers, it was until he retired from the military he reconnected with his father again. 

He thought his father, Joseph Rogers owns a security firm every time he visits him when he was a kid after his parents divorced. Until he reaches a certain age he realized his father actually is a mob boss. He found his childhood friend Bucky, they went to the army together, also working with his father after he got into an accident that cost his left arm. 

He owes it to his father, but Joseph doesn’t need his son to pay his debt. He only wanted his son to stay with him. Joseph has everything, but he missing two things; his lovely wife and his son. 

Joseph loves Sarah, but he forgot she doesn’t come from a mobster background. When they got married, she was overwhelmed. Looking at her husband coming home with blood on his hands or they need to stay at the safe house when she was 8 months pregnant and when Steve was baby the rival gang tried to hurt her and their son. 

Sarah admitted to Joseph that she couldn’t live like this. In the end, she asks to separated but they never divorced. Joseph never sends the document to the court. 

When Joseph retired, he decided to be honest. He went to chase his wife again. With a lot of effort the couple reunited again.

Their love story was so sweet that could make Steve’s teeth hurt. Joseph appointed Steve as the new leader while he enjoys his second honeymoon with his wife. 

It’s been 5 years since Steve became the new mob boss, now he’s waiting for the one that could help him write a sweet story like his parents. 

## 

Right now around lunchtime at the fancy that owned by Rogers. Steve and others like Bucky and Sam are sitting at the bar. While Pietro is the bartender serving their drinks. 

It's a usual day for them but it's a little bit different with Steve this time.

Steve head not looking at his food because notices someone seating near the window. She wearing a dress, not too sexy but he could see her legs. She is completely different from a woman who dressed less to get his attention. The reason is simple Steve is an attractive man, tall, broad shoulder, the expensive three-piece suit that wraps his muscles. He only sits for 3 minutes, few girls try to seduce him but he politely or in a sarcastic way to shoo them. 

And the girl who he watched for a while won’t budge to turned around. It poked his ego a little bit. He quite used to with the flirt and attention. 

“You still staring at her.”

Bucky’s words made Steve snap up from his trance. 

Steve shook his head, he couldn’t help it because he wants to see the woman face who sitting alone. 

“Pfft.”

Someone who holds his laughter. Three of them turn their gaze towards the bartender served their drink. 

“Something funny Pietro?” Steve raised his eyebrows. 

“I’m just surprised my boss lose his game before approaching Miss Lilly.”

Steve tilts his head “You knew her name?”

Pietro nodded while whipping the glass with cloth “Yup, the gorgeous lady that always left a big tip.” 

“She has become a regular?” Sam asks surprised. 

“Perhaps, it’s difficult to forget her since the first time she came here.” Pietro is a sucker for a beautiful woman. 

He put the clean glass on the shelf “The day she came here also the first day Peter Peter start his job.”

The alpha male grunted when Parker’s name mentioned. That kid is troublesome. He always late for his job and clumsy, but he’s the best chef assistant according to Wanda who the head chef at the restaurant. 

“So she’s been our customer for 5 months. How come we never notice her?” Sam whispered asking. They always come here every day for lunch and dinner. 

Pietro raised his shoulder “Usually she only stays for 10 minutes after buying one drink. Then she left. This is the first time she asks for a table.” 

After hearing the info from Pietro, Steve looking at her back once again. 

“Steve, if you don’t talk to her I will,” Sam said while moving from his seat. 

Steve stop Sam by grabbing his shoulder “I didn’t say I don’t want to.”

“Go get her punk.” Bucky raised his fist.

Steve nodded, he walks closer towards her table, he doesn’t understand why his heart beating so fast. 

He already in his game, using his usual pick-up line and smile, but before his foot stops at her table, she turns her head towards him. 

It felt like a slow-motion when he saw her looking at him. 

The first moment he looked at her eyes, somehow the time stop and world in only both of them. 

She looks at him with a friendly smile. ‘Her eyes,’ he couldn’t look away. 

“Hi…” He couldn’t believe he almost squeaked his voice. Steve could feel his face turn red like tomatoes. How he wishes, the situation could change.

‘BANG’

The loud sound came from the gun sound. The door abruptly opened by a bunch of guys who wear suits, some of them holding guns, and baseball bat, and the one who leads them is Brock Rumlow. 

Steve cursed, because of the annoying newcomer, he already lost the moment with her. But partly he blamed himself, earlier he wished to change the situation. Be careful what you wished for.

It must be his rival gang who crash his business again. This is the third time in one month. Since Brock became the new head after Pierce died. 

“Damn it.” He saw Bucky and Sam already start kicking and punching. 

He turned at her, he looks at her with puppy eyes “Forgive me for today’s distraction. You don’t have to pay. It’s free.”

Before she could reply, one guy holding a baseball bat, and swing at Steve but he able to stop it. 

“Everyone leave this place !!!” He screamed his lungs out to alarm the guest who still shocked. All of them ran to save their lives. 

Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Pietro busy fighting their rival. 

No wonder why he had bad feelings, today seems nothing could go wrong. He knew something bad will happen. Turn out it’s Rumlow. 

“What do you want Rumlow?” Steve hissed at the uninvited guest.

Brock shrugged his shoulder “Oh nothing, I just want to say hi to my rival, since I became the boss now.”

‘Because of that reason?’ Steve inwardly thought. But he knew why Rumlow did this, he want everyone to know his name since he recently got this position. And this bastard choose his place at the wrong time and the wrong place.

Both of them punches at each other and destroyed the furniture.

Brock always sneaky, he prepares a hidden knife under his sleeves aka phantom blade. 

He succeeded stab Steve’s shoulder. 

“Urgh.” But because of his muscles, it didn’t go that deep. 

Brock brings Steve to his shoulder and throws him to the ground. 

Steve landed on the ground while Brock put on a mocking smile looking down at him. 

“Boys~”

The seductive voice made both of them turn to see who it was. 

Steve widened his eyes when he saw the girl who took his breath away standing in front of them. 

When she stood, he could see she’s wearing a skirt that has a high cut on her left thigh. Steve and Brock were taken aback because under the fabric there’s a belt dagger. 

She slightly pouted which made Steve thought for a second she looks adorable. But what the hell is she doing here when he already told everyone to leave this place.

She put her right hand on her left chest “It breaks my heart seeing my favorite restaurant destroyed like this.”

Steve somehow felt happy when he knew she like his work.

She grabs the dagger and throws it to Steve. 

“I’m lending it to you.” She winked at him, and turn around to grab her coat. She headed to the exit door, easily avoided the fight.

“That’s one hot lady right there.” 

“Yeah, she is.”  Steve took the chance to give a butthead towards Brock. He doesn’t want this jerk to look at his ‘future date’. 

Brock screamed while holding his broken nose “That’s was low, I was distracted.”

“Let’s get this over with. I can’t do this all day.” Steve finally let out his rage towards Rumlow. 

####

Their fight is done with the result Steve side who won. 

“I’ll get you next time,” Brock screamed angrily, his fingers broken by Steve. He got carried by the paramedic. 

Steve wiped his bloody nose with a cloth while Bruce pressing his shoulder “Yeah yeah, just not in this place again.” He answered lazily. 

He sighed because he’s getting tired of Rumlow childish fight. After his wound got treated by Bruce, Steve went back into the restaurant. 

What he saw is a broken window, table, the custom leather chair that imported from Italy also ruined. There will be one person who will be crazy over this, Natasha who also his accountant, and Bucky’s wife. 

His shoes step on the broken glass, his eyes locking to the table where she sat. 

When he arrived he saw the book she read. Steve notice there is a bookmark inside of it. He doesn’t want to touch her touch without permission but he eager wants to see what inside. 

Steve put his hand on his mouth and gasped “Oh f**k!”

“Language you punk!” Bucky and Sam appear from behind. Their face and hands also bruised because of the short fight. 

“What’s wrong?”

They got no answer from Steve. He look like a statue still looking at his hands.

Bucky and Sam glanced at the bookmark on Steve’s hand. Both of them smirked.

’When the restaurant re-open, text me: (646)-xxxxxxxx’

Steve’s mind went back to the first time he saw her face and that beautiful smile, then the way she’s not afraid of the craziness that happens today, and she lent him a dagger so he can win. 

He didn’t think it wasn’t a thing, but it happened to him. 

He fell in love at the first sight. 

“We totally lose him.” Sam waves his hand in front of Steve’s eyes. 

They could see Steve on cloud nine right now. 

“Good for him, maybe he could move on this time,” Bucky murmured. 

Sam pointed one critical point “But first of all, we need to tell your wife about today.” 

Bucky sighed “That’s the difficult part.” 

While his friends busy thinking about how to coaxing Natasha so she won’t stun them with the lecture that could last for the whole day and make their ear hurts, Steve is planning how to renovate the restaurant fast so he could text her.

>>>CHAPTER 2

Taglist:

@cloudystevie​

[anotheronechicagobog]

Functional Dysfunction - Rheese - Chapter 1

written by @anotheronechicagobog​

A/N: This is a new series I’ve been trying to work on and I’m so happy that I’m finally done the first chapter! It’s IMPORTANT to note that this the fic I took a survey for a while back so; Sarah Reese has a double specialty of ED and Neuro. Also, it’s a bit AU so be prepared for that. 

Warnings: swearing, vomit, unplanned pregnancy, talk of abortion

The waiting room was a decent size, but she still felt small. Surrounded by medical diagrams and leather couches, and pregnant women, and pregnant women with children. She felt completely out of depth and she was finding it hard to breathe. Her tunnel vision was only broken when the nurse called her name. The older woman smiled at her obvious nerves and Sarah was instantly relieved, not because of the woman’s assuring demeanour, but because she knew that if she had gone to a doctor at MED instead of Planned Parenthood, she would have instead been met with shock, judgement, and awaiting a comment from Doris.

“Dr. Singh will be with you in a few minutes.”

“Thank you.”

So Sarah laid back on the examination table in the flimsy blue paper gown with her unmentionables in the breeze, because of course, Sarah found herself in a situation where she’d need a transvaginal ultrasound instead of a pap smear. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, trying to calm herself down.

“Ms. Reese?”

“Hi.”

“Hello, I’m Dr. Singh. You believe you’re pregnant?”

“Yes, I took two home tests, I’ve been nauseous but only between two and four in the afternoon and one and four in the morning, I missed my period, I’ve been fatigued, and my breasts have been sore. And it’s... Uh, it’s Dr. Reese, actually.”

“Okay, then. Are you in your residency?”

“Halfway through my second year.”

“So you know how this works then.”

“Yes.”

“Did you bring any support? We have counsellors and resources you can use. Your mental and emotional wellbeing is just as important as your physical health.”

“I’m fine. I just want to get the pregnancy confirmed and then book an abortion. I’m in my second year of residency, the father was a one night stand, and my main source of income comes from my mother who would not approve of me having a baby out of wedlock.”

“I completely understand. Med school was hard enough for me without pregnancy and then a baby. We’re still going to have a counsellor talk to you about it beforehand, make sure that you’re making the decision for you and not for anyone else.”

“Alright, I guess.”

“Well, let’s get started, shall we?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah was right, she was pregnant. She wasn’t surprised and it didn’t change how she felt. So when she walked into her next shift she didn’t expect a concerned Maggie to approach her. “Hey Sarah, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Maggie, why? Did something happen that I don’t know about?”

“You’re pale, you haven’t been eating much lately, and you’ve been more tired lately. What’s going on Reese, are you sick? You can talk to Goodwin and she’ll give you time off.”

“I’m grateful that you’re worried about me Maggie, but I’m not sick or anything, I promise. It’s just stress.” Sarah tried and failed to tell herself that she wasn’t technically lying, but pushed that thought to the back of her mind and took in Maggie’s disbelieving demeanour.

“If you’re sure...”

“I am.” Maggie gave her a look that clearly said ‘I don’t think you’re telling the truth but your lie is plausible so I’m letting it go for now’ as she exited the doctor’s lounge, leaving Sarah alone. She took a deep breath as she put her stuff in her locker before grabbing a clean pair of scrubs. After she’d changed into them she looked into the full mirror of the dressing room, staring herself down. She willed against herself not to do it and lost. She turned to the side and placed her hands over her abdomen. She knew that the fetus inside of her was tiny, the size of a sesame seed, but... She didn’t know what she was doing, truthfully. So she shook her head and squared her shoulders before tying her hair back and walking up to the nurses’ station. “What have you got for me, Maggie?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Andrew Pierson was seventeen and optimistic, something that both she and Rhodes admired. It made their daily rounds and checkups much easier. On most days they both went at the same time so that both departments were able to get first-hand results and to prevent miscommunication. The only problem was that they were always at 3:30 pm, smack dab in the one-hour afternoon window of Sarah’s ‘morning’ sickness. She did her best to quell it in advance; ginger tea, fresh air, mindful of what she’d had for lunch, and she was always drinking water. Sometimes though, like today, morning sickness couldn’t be quelled or repressed. She and Rhodes were discussing Andrew’s latest brain scan and what his injury meant for a valve replacement, when it reared its ugly head like never before. The bile was rising up her throat, fast and hot. She stopped talking in the middle of her sentence, drawing attention from her colleague and her patient. She didn’t register dropping her tablet. She darted into the adjoining bathroom and emptied the little liquid she had in her stomach. Even after it was all out she had to sit there dry-heaving. The burning discomfort in her throat didn’t bother her like it used to, and the painful twisting in her stomach annoyed her more than anything else at this point. When the hellish nausea finally passed she was able to register that she wasn’t alone. Rhodes stood behind her, holding her hair back for her. She turned to look at him and he clearly felt unbelievably awkward, like her, but she did see worry clearly on display behind his eyes. “What’s going on, Reese? You’ve been sick all week.” She hastily got on her feet, only for Rhodes to have to steady her when her balance wavered and mind spun from doing it too fast. After she was okay enough that Rhodes could let go, she warily made her way to the sink to rinse her mouth, only to find that there was some vomit on the edges of her lips and chin, only furthering her embarrassment as Rhodes tried to make eye contact in the mirror.

“It’s nothing-”

“Okay, stop. This is not nothing, you don’t think I’ve noticed how pale and nauseous you get every day? I may have my head wrapped around for too much but I’m not an idiot. Not to mention, you literally just dropped our patient’s brain scans to vomit. You are not fine, actually, you know what? Let’s just go down to the ED, get you checked out-”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Reese, these are continual symptoms, they could be the sign of-”

“I’m pregnant.”

“... Oh.” Sarah bit out harshly, turned the water off, and left the bathroom, leaving Rhodes standing by the toilet, as she blinked back tears. The look in his eyes, the acknowledgement, the pity. She picked up her, thankfully undamaged tablet, as a demure Dr. Rhodes came to stand beside her again. “I’m very sorry Mr. Pierson, I think I ate some bad sushi yesterday. Let’s just finish our appointment and then we can get you started on your new preparation plan so that you’re ready for surgery, okay?”

“Sounds good, and I hope you feel better soon, doc.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Rhodes had spent the remainder of Andrew’s appointment standing beside her clearly shocked and somewhat muted. When they both left though, he steered her into the closest conference room he could find. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am, now if you’ll excuse me I have other patients that need my care-”

“What about you? Who’s caring for you? You’ve been really sick, and although pregnancy explains it, it doesn’t change the fact that you have concerning symptoms or that Maggie is one bathroom trip away from admitting you into the hospital herself. Because I haven’t heard anything about you in any of the gossip I’m going to assume that you haven’t told many, if any at all, people here. So is there anyone who knows? Anyone who can help you out? And what about the father? I mean you’re pregnant, you’re going to have a baby. Have you spoken to Goodwin yet? She’ll work with everyone to make sure that you’ve got everything you need-”

“Okay, stop! No one knows and I want to keep it that way. I’m not... I’m getting an abortion. And I just...” Sarah took a deep breath as she blinked her tears away. Not now, not at work, not in front of Dr. Rhodes.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” He stood there awkwardly, his arms hovering around her form, unsure of whether he should embrace her or not. Sarah shrugged his hand away and took a few controlled breaths. “I won’t tell anyone, but, does anybody know? And I don’t mean from work, I mean in general, do you have someone to talk to about this? Or take you to and from the procedure?”

“No but it’s fine, I’ll just call a cab after.”

“What if something goes wrong during the procedure, who are they going to call? You have to list an emergency contact.”

“I’ll be fine, everything will be fine.” Sarah took a steadying breath as she tried to quell her morning sickness, again, and stop her body from shaking. “Are you trying to reassure me? Or yourself?” Sarah honestly didn’t have an answer for that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah cursed herself constantly over the fifteen-minute drive it took to get to Molly’s. Not only did she reveal a pretty damning secret to one of the hospital’s top surgeons, but she hadn’t been able to get out of going to the bar with the rest of the ED staff. And since Molly’s was a firefighter bar, owned by a few members of the 51st firehouse, the father of her child was most likely going to be there. She sat in her car, trying not to let the dread fill her as she stared at the ornate door of what was now her least favourite bar, not that she enjoyed drinking enough to have a favourite. She took the seat next to Maggie and tried to join in on the laughter that was being shared amongst her colleagues. But she couldn’t, she felt hot and cold all over, her breathing was tense, her chest was constricted, and her smile didn’t quite meet her eyes. The fact that Jimmy Borrelli, the father of the unborn child inside of her that he didn’t even know about, was staring at her with familiar lust-filled eyes, and that Connor Rhodes, currently the only person who knew about her pregnancy, just entered and looked at her with a mix of shock, horror, and concern, did absolutely nothing to help with her stress or her pregnancy symptoms. Rhodes made his way over to the table with a guarded look on his face. “Hey guys, how about I get the next round?”

“You’re not new anymore Rhodes, we know you’re not a complete stuck up ass, you don’t have to keep trying to bribe us.”

“Thanks for your words of kindness, Halstead, but this isn’t bribery, this is me offering beer.”

“... Fair enough, man. I think we’re all up for it.”

“Great, hey Reese, would you mind helping me carry it all over?” The meaningful look Rhodes sent made it clear he was using this as an excuse to talk to her away from their co-workers. “Sure.” She tried to sound chipper as she hopped out of her seat, but her voice was tired and it cracked partway through the word. Rhodes visibly frowned and Sarah could feel the concerned stares from her co-workers. They walked to the counter and nodded at Hermann, ready to wait until he was available. “I know that you’re... ‘Cancelling your subscription’,” he spoke lowly, mindful of all the ears around them and how fast gossip flourished among the groups present, “but you still, you know, have it. Should you be drinking?”

“I’m not. I’ve missed too many get-togethers and because of my, uh ‘binge-watching’. People, Maggie in particular are getting suspicious. And honestly, even though I’m ‘cancelling my subscription’, I can’t bring myself to do anything to harm... You know. I, uh, I don’t even drink, really.”

“Yeah, I know. Is there anything else I can get you, then?” Sarah shook her head even though her stomach had turned on her and was eating itself. The bodily organ betrayed her, making an audible growl that could be heard above the music bursting out of the speaker directly above them and the loud mixture of conversations that made nearly everything inaudible. He raised his eyebrow as she scolded herself internally and tried to ignore the warmth creeping up to her cheeks at his bemused expression. “You sure about that? How about some food? I hear that Mills has taken up working the kitchen here, the food should be good.”

“The food is great! And I’m not just saying that because I own that place.” Sarah jumped at Hermann’s voice, not knowing he’d gotten back to them.

“Would you mind showing me a menu then, Hermann? I won’t turn down free food.” Sarah nodded her head at the man standing next to her with a slight smile on her face, feeling better than she had all day if she was being honest. “Oh, is the good doctor buying again?”

“Yes I am, which reminds me, three pitchers of Coors please, and-”

“Spaghetti and meatballs.”

“And spaghetti and meatballs, please.”

“You got it. Here’s your beer, glasses for everyone, and your food’ll be brought over to you when it’s done.”

“Great.”

“And Reese?”

“Yeah?”

“Give us a good review, will ya? We could use all the help we can get to gain some traction for the kitchen.”

“You got it.”

Sarah eyed the tower of glasses she had in her right hand, concentrating far more than necessary if she was being honest, to make sure that she didn’t drop them. When Sarah set the glasses and full pitcher down she took the opportunity to look around the tables at her colleagues. Everyone had gone back to their conversations, and weren’t regarding her with caution, except for Maggie and Manning. They shared a look with each other, then her. “I’m fine, promise.” They shared another look with each other before discreetly taking her hands into theirs. “We don’t believe you.”

[tabloidtoc]

Star, March 1

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Humiliated Jennifer Lopez used for money and fame by Alex Rodriguez

Page 1: Princess Eugenie and her husband Jack Brooksbank, who is a UK ambassador for George Clooney and Rande Gerber's tequila brand, welcomed a son on February 9 at London's Portland Hospital

Page 2: Contents, Robin Thicke in front of a piano at Gold Diggers studio in L.A.

Page 3: Star Shots -- Serena Williams honored late Olympic gold medalist Florence Griffith Joyner by rocking a one-legged Nike catsuit at the first day of the Australian open, Chrissy Metz brought some vibrancy to the virtual SCAD aTVFest where she discussed This Is Us and was honored with the Vanguard Award, Olivia Culpo checked out the view before heading to the Shaq Bowl in Tampa

Page 4: Inside Britney Spears' nightmare -- a shocking new documentary exposes how Britney was used and abused by people she trusted -- Britney's unable to communicate with fans directly without permission -- fans flooded Justin Timberlake's Instagram to demand an apology for what one called profiting from trashing a woman

Page 5: Facing a lawsuit from her estranged older sister has rattled Mariah Carey -- Alison Carey alleged to a NYC court that Mariah had intentionally inflicted emotional distress by writing about her in the 2020 tell-all The Meaning of Mariah Carey and Alison is seeking $1.25 million after the singer accused her of, among other things, throwing boiling hot tea on her and trying to sell a 12-year-old Mariah to a pimp -- now Mariah has become wary of even those in her inner circle and is making longtime employees re-interview for their jobs -- Mariah's always been on the paranoid side but everyone is a suspect now and she's grilling everyone from bodyguards to chefs to stylists and household staff who have been with her for years and if anyone pushes back they are shown the door -- her great fear is that people could cross over and spill secrets to the enemy because she's been caught off guard before by those she trusted

* Catching ZZZs has become a real problem for Kelly Clarkson -- between her gig as a daytime host, trying to sell homes in Nashville and Encino, and battling her ex Brandon Blackstock over custody of their two kids, she is beyond stressed and she can't sleep and nothing works; the most shut-eye she gets is two to three hours -- it's gotten so bad she's even tried hypnotherapy but her workaholic brain outwits it -- meanwhile her legal woes including a lawsuit with her husband and ex father-in-law's talent agency are getting nastier and Brandon has told her in no uncertain terms that he's not going to stop until he gets what he wants which is a ton of money and time with the kids

* She was the most loathed mother in America and now Casey Anthony wants her say -- 10 years after she was acquitted of murdering her two-year-old daughter Caylee, Casey is making a documentary about the trial and she thinks she can clear her name -- she's not looking for sympathy but she believes she's a victim too and was unfairly convicted in the public eye -- she is planning on dropping bombshells in the doc including her take on the theory that the toddler accidentally drowned in the family pool as well as shocking secrets about her own abusive upbringing but don't expect much remorse

Page 6: Just over a year after her father Kobe Bryant and sister Gianna Bryant perished in a tragic helicopter crash, Natalia Bryant who is Kobe's oldest daughter, has signed a modeling contract with IMG Models who also represent Bella Hadid and Gigi Hadid and the just signed Inauguration standout poet Amanda Gorman

* Rumer Willis was heartbroken when her months-long relationship with Armie Hammer fizzled out in December but after harrowing reports of Armie's alleged abuse of women including asking to barbecue their ribs and carry their severed toes in his pocket, Rumer is telling friends she feels lucky -- she wanted to defend him when the cannibalism stories first came out because she thought they were outrageous and now she feels badly for all of the victims and she's really grateful she didn't get caught up in the Armie nightmare

* Star Spots the Stars -- Eva Longoria, Mandy Moore, Demi Lovato, Dan Levy, Dorinda Medley

Page 8: Star Shots -- Meg Ryan wore some wide-legged trousers and a cute cap on a nature walk in Santa Barbara, Gavin Rossdale wore pink socks while playing tennis in L.A., Ciara holding six-month-old son Win during a family getaway to Hawaii

Page 9: Delilah Belle Hamlin and Love Island's Eyal Booker removed their masks for a quick street smooch during a coffee date in L.A., Sofia Richie enjoyed some PDA with shipping heir Gil Ofer in Miami

Page 12: Kate Upton doing yoga, Tia Mowry-Hardrict and her husband Cory Hardrict shared dishwashing duty after cooking at home, Robin Roberts tasted a treat on Good Morning America in New York City

Page 13: Pregnant Brittany Cartwright brought her dog along to retrieve the mail in L.A., Victoria Justice showed off her toned tummy post-workout in L.A.

Page 14: Goldie Hawn turned quality time with granddaughter Rani into a workout toting her in a backpack, Madonna and Guy Ritchie's son Rocco Ritchie waded in during a vacation in Tulum in Mexico, Lucy Hale on a stroll with her dog Elvis in L.A.

Page 16: Chris Noth put in a day's work on The Equalizer in Paterson in New Jersey, Flavor Flav and Flo Rida at The Super Glow Super Bowl kick-off party in Tampa, Bradley Cooper kept daughter Lea close as the two ran errands in NYC

Page 17: More than a week after celebrating 18 months of sobriety Lily Allen enjoyed a snack on-the-go in London, Jessica Alba lifted her son Hayes while riding scooters with husband Cash Warren in Beverly Hills

Page 18: Normal or Not? Cody Simpson got physical with new girlfriend Marloes Stevens during a romantic getaway in St. Barts -- normal, Selling Sunset's Christine Quinn picking up a portrait of herself in L.A. -- normal, Jack Black raised Thor's hammer in a parody posted on Instagram prompting Chris Hemsworth to call it the greatest thing he's ever seen -- not normal

Page 19: The Crown's Emma Corrin looked intrigued by a leafy object she stumbled upon during a stroll in London -- not normal, Sarah Jessica Parker kicked back in heels during a break from assisting shoppers at her flagship store in NYC -- not normal

Page 20: Fashion -- stars look sweet in tiered dresses -- Maude Apatow, Logan Browning, Margot Robbie

Page 21: Julianne Moore, Camila Morrone, Saoirse Ronan

Page 24: After months of quietly dating, Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley are ready to marry and they announced it in the most low-key way possible and the couple are madly in love and feel unequivocally that this is the real deal -- Aaron and Shailene were friends long before sparks flew in August last year and having to endure a long-distance romance during football season actually made their bond stronger -- Aaron and Shailene are already planning to start a family and they're at that stage when they feel ready to be parents and are keen to have a baby

Page 25: Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles have found another dynamic duo to spend their downtime with which is Florence Pugh and Zach Braff -- the foursome hit it off on the set of Don't Worry, Darling which Olivia is directing and in which Florence and Harry star -- they have the best time together and know how to forget the world outside -- as it turns out bearing witness to Florence and Zach's happy relationship despite their 20-year age difference played a part in Olivia taking a chance on dating Harry who is nine years her junior following her split from Jason Sudeikis and seeing them together inspired Olivia to go for it with Harry and she's so glad she did

* While some couples are overwhelmed being with their kids 24/7 in lockdown, Prince William and Duchess Kate have enjoyed the extended family time with Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis -- having the kids at home during the pandemic has given Kate baby fever and she loves being around them and wants to have one more and she and William are trying for another, with Kate saying she's hoping for a girl -- as for raising four young kids, the pair are up to the challenge because Kate's a pro at multitasking and William is a devoted dad and they'll split parenting duties

* Matt Damon is hoping a change of scenery will save his rocky 17-year relationship with wife Luciana Barroso as the couple and their three girls have set up house in a lavish $7000-a-night rental in Australia's tony Byron Bay while the actor films Thor: Love and Thunder -- the beachy new surroundings are just what the couple needs after hitting a rough patch and Matt is working overtime to make sure Luciana enjoys herself Down Under by arranging date nights and buying gifts for her to open every day and even when he's working he's got time set aside for just them and the gestures seem to be working and it's the shot in the arm they both needed

Page 26: Cover Story -- Jennifer Lopez humiliated and used -- shocking cheating allegations rock J.Lo's world as fiance Alex Rodriguez's mistress Madison LeCroy tells all -- while Jennifer is putting on a brave face the affair rumors are devastating to her whether she admits it or not -- after revealing she and Alex exchanged DMs Madison said she doesn't want anything bad for his family or for hers -- Alex says it was innocent and that nothing happened but Jennifer is not fully buying it -- Jennifer and Alex's relationship is personal but it's also business; together, their fortunes have doubled

Page 30: Chip and Joanna Gaines -- inside our farmhouse reno -- Chip and Jo are expanding and renovating their Waco home and it may be their toughest job yet

Page 32: Celeb Parenting Fails -- these celebrity moms and dads share their hilarious hapless moments -- Anne Hathaway, Brad Pitt

Page 33: Willie Geist, Mila Kunis, Pink

Page 48: Parting Shot -- Despite it being her first concert in over a year, Miley Cyrus was ready to rock while headlining the TikTok Tailgate Super Bowl pre-show event in Tampa -- the show treated 7500 Florida-based healthcare workers to a set that included guest appearances by Joan Jett and Billy Idol, who both collaborated on Miley's latest album

[julessworldd]

Hey!!! First of all, your writing is top tier 💗 Second, may I request a fic using two prompts? If yes, could you do "You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!" and "What do you want me to say?" for Izzy? Tysmia 😘

I can do that, love! Thank you for your sweet words, anon. They mean lot <3

Warnings: Implied smut, slight smut ,cussing, possible pregnancy, Izzy being a jackass 

special apperance by baby rose ;), just had to write a side story on Little Rose universe.. 

Hanging out with Guns at a bar can go one or two ways.. Axl fights a dude over something was said or I have to take the whole band home and help them undress and pray that they don’t choke on their own puke. That was before I started falling for Izzy, damn boy made feel so safe and loved. Duff discovered my liking to Izzy after catching me a couple times, watching the dark haired boy with a groupie at a bar.  Duff kept his mouth shut to the band and other people who knew Izzy. 

Saturday night, after a show, same thing. Y/n was with Guns at a bar, girls surrounded them in the VIP area. Axl and Slash wanted to buy it for the night, which made it easier for me to watch them. Last time, we stopped at a bar, Duff got us banned for life for trying to chug two bottles of vodka on the pool table. It was a nice bar in Atlanta too. This time, Duff was making out with his girlfriend, Axl had a girl or groupie on his lap stroking his hair, Slash taking shots with Steven at the bar. Finally, Izzy was with a blond chick, she was kissing his neck while he gripped her ass from the tight skirt she wore. Izzy opened his eyes, meeting mine, he smirked before pulling the girl to the floor. “Y/n, Y/n/n”, Duff’s girlfriend, Janie yelled at me. “Huh what?”, I broke eye contact and turned to Janie. “Izzy got you again?”, Janie asked, leaning into Duff’s chest. “That obvious, huh?”, I blushed. “Yeah, babe. Izzy’s in a weird place right now, I think he likes more than you think. He just has a weird way of showing emotions.”, Janie smiled. “Thanks, Janie. I like your dress by the way”, I smiled at the red head girl. Decided on getting a couple shots of whiskey, knowing what Izzy was gonna do with that girl got me upset.  “Hey”, a low familiar mid-western voice said behind me. “Oh girl didn’t satisfy Mr.Stradlin?”, I rolled my eyes. “Please like you wouldn’t have pushed her away if I gave you the chance”, Izzy smirked. “What makes you think that?”, I smirked, the 4th whiskey shot gave me confidence. “I see the way you look at me, when I’m on stage you watch my fingers and a few times my ass. I’m not stupid, baby”, Izzy whispered in my ear.  Couldn’t have explained the noise that escaped my throat, Izzy liked it though. 

I woke up the next morning, in bed with Izzy. I really hope Janie got the rest of the boys home safe and Izzy used protection. 

“Uh hey”, Izzy had walked into the kitchen, where I was making breakfast.

“Morning, you hungry?”, I asked. “No, I’m gonna head out. Thanks for letting me crash here”,Izzy mumbled. “Alright. No problem, Iz”, I said, feeling a pang of anxiety flow into my chest. 

Next two weeks, Izzy was avoiding me like the plague, going the other way at parties, ignoring me when I wanna talk to him in general. Izzy and Janie were close, I decided to ask her about Izzy and if he’s being like this because we slept together.  “Hey Janie, can I ask you something?”, I asked. “Yeah, sure. What’s up, Y/n?”, Janie laid a stack of papers down and gave me her undivided attention, “Izzy probably told you we slept together two weeks ago, you know that party in Calabasas?”, I sighed. “No! You’re joking”, Janie’s eyes were the size of golf balls. “Nope! I don’t remember what happened if it was hand stuff or full on sex. I’m not pregnant, so calm down. He’s been ignoring me non-stop, I was wondering if he had said anything to you about our night together. Did he?”, I asked. “No, Y/n he hasn’t. Izzy has always been weirdly quiet about his private life, especially since we moved out of our apartment by the strip. I’m sorry”, Janie gave a small smile. “Okay, uh thank you, Janie. Band keeping me busy today?”, I asked, mentally sighing in defeat or happiness. Couldn’t tell which one. “Not really, if you count Duff trying to get me pregnant every time I come into the room”, Janie rolled her eyes at the comment about the crazy blonde. 

“Hey Janie? Oh hi, Y/n”, Izzy asked, looking at me and the floor. “Yeah Iz?”, Janie turned to Izzy. “Axl needs you for an opinion about his and Duff’s song”, Izzy blew out his cigarette smoke. “Okay. See ya around, Y/n”, She smiled at me, before going by Izzy. Janie left the room, tension in the room went through the roof.  Izzy shuffled from foot to foot, I stared at my shoes. 

“This is awkward, see ya round Y/n”, Izzy was about to leave. “Wait! Can we talk, please?”, I said, making Izzy jump at the sound of my voice. “Sure, what’s up?”, Izzy asked, setting his cigarette pack in his jacket pocket. “About that night, uh how much do you remember? I mean did we actually do anything?”, I asked. “We did fuck, if that’s what you mean. Just remember making out in the bathroom, we went into your room, clothes were off. I think you were top, maybe I was just drunk”, Izzy said. “Okay, did you uh?” “Did I what?”, izzy asked, staring into my eyes. “Did we use protection? I was out of my birth control and was gonna get it the Monday after.”, I asked, biting my lip. 

“Yeah, I think I hit the sheets. Look if you are, I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll pay for you know, if you do decide that.”, Izzy said, with calmness in his voice. “I’m a few days away from my monthly, guess in another two weeks I’ll let you know.”, I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. 

Izzy nodded and excused himself back to the band, I left and headed to the drug store, Izzy’s comment got into my head. 

Two weeks later, I opened the door to Izzy. 

“I can’t get you out of my head, the thing we did that night. You’re all I think about, hell I wrote a song about you. Jane, thinks I’m losing my damn mind. Maybe she’s right”, Izzy walked in, pulling at his hair.

“Hi, Izzy. Good to see you, come in”, I slammed my door. “Are you pregnant? Please tell me, woman”, Izzy pleaded. “No, I’m not. You’re in the clear”, I rolled my eyes. 

Izzy claimed he don’t want to remember our night together

“God, Izzy you act like I’m filled with a million stds. You’re not becoming a father, so chill”, I said.  “I can’t”  I sighed, arms dropping to my side, “You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did” “What do you want me to say?”, Izzy asked. “Nothing. Just knowledge that it happened, Iz. Stop acting like I’m the fucking plauge, can we hang out again? You know maybe talk about how our relationship is now. Will it happen again or we continue on with our lives. You’re not the only one, who is scared.”, I said, walking over to him. Izzy looked at me, before grinning. “Um, Janie and I were talking the other night, when she had Sarah one night. I have uh- feelings for you. Sleeping together made my night, but I also worried that it fucked up our friendship. I’m sorry that I brought my stupid feelings for you.”, Izzy shuffled his feets, playing with his pointer finger. “Iz, I like you too”, I grinned, kissing his cheek. “Really?” “Yes, jackass. Wanna go out sometime soon?”, I smiled. “Love too. You wanna go now?”,Izzy grinned. 

[ingek73]

imho a better read then Finding Freedom

(too many pics to include, click on the link to see them’

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The British Royal Family, The Media and ‘SussExit’ – Part 2

Zanye Linda August 13, 2020 18 Comments

At the end of part one, I posed a few questions: Was the spare and his wife outshining the heir? Also what is the connection between ITV and the Markle family? Why does this mainstream channel consistently give them a platform? And what about the Royal Rota – they exist to sell the Monarchy to the public while also subjecting them to the appropriate scrutiny. Did they not think the negative coverage surrounding Meghan would have a negative impact on the Monarchy? Where was the Royal Family in all this? When Diana and Sophie were faced with negative media coverage, the Queen and the palace asked the editors to ease up on them. Even Kate was given a grace period to settle into her role as a Royal. Why were they not offering Meghan the same protections?

Winter 2018

By now it was clear Meghan was under attack by the UK media and each story was picked up and amplified across the entire world. It had been earlier reported that the Queen had invited Doria Ragland, Meghan’s mother to spend Christmas at Sandringham. Shortly after that story made the rounds, Thomas Markle Sr. would once again feature in the Daily Mail courtesy of Caroline Graham. He revealed the heartfelt notes his daughter once sent him and makes another attempt to ‘tell his side of the story’ and present evidence that he did indeed have a heart attack and that is why he missed the wedding. But he would go on to claim that he had been frozen out by Harry and Meghan, and any attempts he had made to get in touch with them had gone unanswered, and that he was living in fear of never seeing his daughter again.

Thomas would once again appear on ITV’s GMB with Piers Morgan, who has now switched his tone of commentary on Meghan Markle. The brilliant young woman – his words – was now a conniving ruthless social climber who had ‘ghosted’ her father just as she ‘ghosted’ him after she met Prince Harry. Interestingly, Thomas Markle is now using the same term ‘ghosting/ghosted’.

Harry and Meghan press forward with their royal duties and in early January 2019, the palace announced Meghan’s patronages – a total of 4 that include two – the Association of Commonwealth Universities and the National Theater – that she took over from the Queen. Around this time, they suffered a major violation of their privacy. Emily Andrews of the Sun (currently mail on Sunday royal editor), revealed the location of their country home in the Cotswolds, and the Times actually published pictures of the house taken via a paparazzi helicopter. This was a residence that they privately leased, not one gifted by the Queen or some taxpayer funded whatever, and there was absolutely no justification for breaching their privacy in that manner. It later came to light that Prince harry sued and received “substantial damages” for the invasion of privacy. It was revealed that the couple surrendered the lease early because of security concerns once the location of the home had been revealed.

With the media onslaught carrying on into the new year and new recruits like Piers Morgan aboard the anti-Meghan train, five of Meghan’s friends in an anonymous interview expressed their concern for Meghan and called out the global bullying by the media and the stress it was putting on 7-month pregnant Meghan. The article also mentioned, contrary to existing narratives, that Meghan did not ignore her father and had made attempts to reach out to him, begging him to stop attacking her via the media so they could repair their relationship. In a rebuttal to this article, the Mail on Sunday published parts of a private letter Meghan had written to her father. The excerpts revealed her anguish and confirmed the lengths she went to to keep in touch with her father. On the other side, under the charge of Piers the press was putting pressure on Meghan to call her father.

Kensington Palace welcomed a new communications secretary, Christian Jones to the Royal Household. Following his appointment we begun to see even more leaks. Firstly, pictures of Meghan and Christian leaving lunch were published in the UK papers, a highly unusual move because according to the Royal Rota, there is an agreement with the palace not to publish paparazzi pictures of the royal family. Meghan being pictured was significant in that, we know from multiple reports that she paid several private visits to her patronages( before becoming patron). They, as well as the women of the Hubb Community kitchen but not a single picture was ever seen, until they were ready to publicize the visit.

In mid February, Meghan quietly traveled to New York and for 3 days had gone undetected, that is, until the Daily Mail published paparazzi pictures. With her location revealed she was forced to move out of her friends residence into a hotel, where the media created a spectacle of themselves to the extent that back-up security had to be provided by US officials.

Then, ever so eager to break “exclusives”, Emily Andrews wrote a story about the events at Meghan’s baby shower, that appeared on the front pages of the Sun. Only problem was that, the story, complete with details of guests in attendance and games that were played, was published a day too early. The baby shower hadn’t taken place yet. According to Emily, she was told by her source at Kensington Palace was to blame for the mix-up and had apologized to her for getting the dates wrong. Interestingly, all of Emily’s tweets between 1st February 2019 and 23rd February 2019 have disappeared from her Twitter timeline. The baby shower was on February 20th, and we know she tweeted about it.

The baby shower attracted a lot of criticism from royal reporters and experts with claims it was ‘unroyal”, ‘lavish and distasteful”. And as if that wasn’t enough Kensington Palace in covering an engagement William was undertaking published UK poverty statistics, prompting Piers Morgan to weigh in accusing Meghan of living the high life while the Queen’s subject languish in poverty. The Daily Mail even went as far as criticising her for not inviting her mother in favour of her ‘New A-List Celebrity friends’.

Shortly after returning to London, Meghan was on a plane with Harry headed to Morocco to carry out another Royal visit at the request of the UK government. As for the royal press, on the one hand, they continued to complain about lack of access to Meghan – continuing a narrative they created at the time of the cookbook launch – while hopping on planes to go cover their events. According to the likes of Arthur Edwards, since Harry met Meghan he had changed and was no longer “one of the lads” who used to hang out with them in the pub. So what if the press had written a few unflattering pieces about Meghan – it was all a part of the game and the two needed to loosen up.

Spring 2019

Expectation is building up for the Royal baby and the royal reporters are trying to close in on a due date. The only thing they know came by way of a chat during a visit to Bristol, when Meghan told a lady during a walkabout the baby was due late April early May. Besides waiting for the arrival of their baby, Harry and Meghan were forced to leave their Oxfordshire home(as stated earlier) after the media published pictures of their house. In the same month, Buckingham Palace finally announced the split in the royal household commonly known as Kensington Palace and the creation of a new household for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex based at Buckingham palace, with Sarah Latham as their head of communications.

While the focus was on Harry and Meghan, it seems other royals were up to the usual royal shenanigans. The Sun’s Dan Wootton run a story on Kate’s fall out with a local rival, Rose but just like the “Meghan made Kate cry” story no reason was given. The story did not generate much interest until in an attempt to bury the story, Richard Kay in a Daily Mail article downplayed the fall out and instead tried to use it as another opportunity to slag off Meghan and Harry. The story gained momentum on social media and of particular interest were tweets from people within the Norfolk set, stating that the affair between William and Rose is well known but nobody talks about it. These tweets would very quickly disappear over the following days but never off the internet.

A royal affair is not surprising considering 3 of the Queen’s 4 children are divorced in part due to infidelity. The surprise was nobody in the UK press was covering this story. No follow up articles, no TV debates, not even a tweet from the Royal Rota who claim to be journalists covering the royals without fear or favour. The same reporters who had spent the past months giving us behind the scenes stories about Meghan, where no story was too big or too small or too nonsensical to be written about. Subsequent media reports indicated that Prince William lawyers threatened the media with legal action if they covered the story. And just like that, the story was buried. We witnessed the full strength of the palace unleashed to protect William from the media, while the same press continued to attack Meghan. The so-called royal family mantra “never complain, never explain” was applied to Harry and Meghan but the rest had the freedom to complain.

In early April 2019, Harry and Meghan finally moved away from Kensington Palace to Frogmore Cottage. Harry and Meghan had strong social media support where people worked hard to highlight media lies, challenge narratives and call out the racism, sexism, classism Meghan was subjected to. Given the nature of stories that were being written about the couple, the volume of leaks coming out of the palace, the petty displays of jealousy and double standards applied by the royal family and the media, there was a sense the two were working together to bully and harass this young couple and to undermine their achievements so they do not outshine or outperform the heirs, specifically William. This was mainly social media chatter as people attempted to connect the dots around everything that was happening, each circling back to Kensington Palace.

A few weeks later suspicions would be confirmed via an article by political journalist Tim Shipman that appeared in the Sunday Times titled, “Revealed: Palace’s Africa plan for Harry and Meghan”. In the article he mentioned how the palace was struggling to harness the popularity of Harry and Meghan. That their popularity was a source of concern for William, whom courtiers had to assure, telling him the current situation was “peak Harry, and the popularity would fade”. He also confirmed William’s displeasure at Harry’s appointment as Commonwealth Youth Ambassador the year before. The palace was therefore considering creating a position for them somewhere in Africa. Other continents had been considered but even Australia was not far enough given the internet age, and Canada was too close to the US, Meghan’s home country. The article went on to reveal efforts William was undertaking in preparation to be King after the death of his grandmother and then his father. Part of this involved reaching out to the very same editors that had been harassing his brother and sister-in-law for the past year, a move that the palace supported, and one which saw the media side with William and the palace, and advancing the most negative coverage of Meghan’s father.

The portrayal of Africa in the article as this backward, out of the way continent where Harry and Meghan could be “banished” to, attracted the ire of social media and forced the palace to issue a denial and the online version of the article was re-framed with the contribution of royal correspondent Roya Nikkah. Another area of interest within the original article were the lengths the palace was willing to go to make William (and Kate) more comfortable, which is understandable considering William will one day be king. But it begs the question, why an institution that was looking to modernise as they had boldly claimed to the world would suddenly find problems with the modern ways of Harry and Meghan, who in a short amount of time had brought attention to the royal family and were quickly attracting a demographic of the UK population and the world, that had until now felt disconnected from them? It seemed counterproductive that a move like this would be in the works.

About two weeks later, Meghan delivered the couple’s baby on May 06 2019. Archie Harrison Mountbatten Windsor was introduced to the world two days later in a photo call at Windsor Castle. That they were able to travel to the hospital, have the baby and be back home without so much as a peep, underscores what a tight inner circle they had and most importantly, what the distance from other households had done to stem the leaks.

The day after the photo call Harry traveled to Netherlands to launch the Invictus Games 2020. Initially, A day or two before the IG 2020 launch, Harry was scheduled to undertake an engagement in Amsterdam. The Amsterdam engagement happened to be on the same day William and Kate were to travel to Wales, and Charles was concluding a tour of Germany. In a move that was reminiscent of the Winter of 2017 where the media informed us of William’s fury at a scheduling conflict with Harry and Meghan, the Amsterdam event was cancelled, citing logistical difficulties for reporters covering all three events. Charles’ and William’s went ahead as planned with no scheduling complaints.

Summer 2019

Another summer as a royal brings another round of attacks on Meghan by the media. Her crime this time; while less than a month post-partum and on maternity leave, the Duchess did not participate in any events during Donald Trump’s visit to the UK. The scheduled events would see appearances from the Queen, her two heirs in-waiting and a brief appearance by Harry at a luncheon hosted by the queen. Somehow, it was the absence of Harry and particularly Meghan that the press was focused on. They accused the Duchess of absconding from her Royal duties, while on maternity leave.

On the work front, Emily Andrews would “exclusively reveal” that Meghan was working on a project with vogue and went on to speculate on the details. As far as their charitable endeavours were concerned it was announced that, Harry and Meghan would step down as, joint patrons of the Royal Foundation of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and work towards creating their own charitable vehicle. While the royal reporters feigned shock at this news and and wondered why this was happening, a review of the recently released financial reports of the Foundation told a story. Most of the income and successful impactful projects were attributed to the efforts of Harry and Meghan, plus the financial health of the foundation was found to be lacking.

Around the same time, 2019 financial reports, revealed the impact of The Sussexes’ wedding on the royal family. The Royal Collection Trust, which oversees visitors to the palace and other royal exhibitions reported “a bumper year of royal celebrations”. Retail sales increased by 19%, the Queen’s official residence enjoyed a record 3.3 million more visitors mainly driven by Windsor, and admission income grew by £7.5 million. Contrary to earlier media reports that Meghan’s wardrobe budget estimated at about £1 million (suggesting she cost the RF a lot), the Royal household expenditure only increased by £85,000. From the looks of things, Meghan joining the Royal family had been good ‘for business’.

This did not matter one bit to the UK media when the review of capital expenditure of under the Sovereign Grant showed that £2.4 million was spent to renovate Frogmore Cottage – a building that had been already been earmarked for renovation( regardless of the Sussexes’ occupancy) for the year ending April 2019. The media used this as an opportunity to demand access to Meghan, evoking the taxpayer/publicly funded argument and accusing her of having unrealistic privacy expectations. This criticism reached fever pitch when it was revealed that Archie’s baptism would be a private affair, with portraits to follow. Piers Morgan used his TV platform to tell Meghan “Go Back to America”. The media however didn’t appear to care that £1 million was spent to refurbish a Kensington Palace driveway. Harry and Meghan had obtained consent from the Queen to use her private chapel and keep details of their son’s godparents private. So desperate were the media to get details of the event that, Richard Palmer went as far as accusing the Queen of breaking the law. No matter how the media felt about this decision, the fact is both Harry and Meghan made this decision jointly with consent from the Queen but it was Meghan who bore the brunt of the criticism.

In July 2019, Jeffrey Epstein a New York financier accused of molesting dozens of minor girls was arrested and charged with sex trafficking by federal prosecutors. Jeffrey Epstein was a friend to Prince Andrew and the two had been pictured together in London, on a boat with topless women in Thailand, walking together in Central Park shortly after Jeffrey’s release from an earlier prison sentence for similar charges. Once again Prince Andrew’s association with Jeffrey Epstein was generating international media interest. When the Royal Rota were asked why they were not covering this story, their response was he has not been accused of anything. Nobody was asking them to accuse Andrew of anything and the public was pointing out a story that deserved their attention. Rather than address this growing concern, the palace instead threw a bone to the media by announcing that Meghan was to guest-edit of the prestigious September.

About a month later Jeffrey Epstein died in his prison cell and the following day the UK tabloids that had by and large ignored this story published pictures of a smiling Prince Andrew riding in a car with the Queen on their way to Sunday service at Balmoral. Royal experts tell us the royal family uses a lot of symbolism. The pictures themselves were taken at such close range, which could only have happened with palace approval. In allowing these pictures to be published, the message from the royal family was loud and clear – Prince Andrew had the full support of the Monarch herself. When Richard Palmer accused the Queen of breaking the law, the palace communications did not feel it necessary to respond but here was a whole Prince with credible rape allegations receiving a public showing of support from the Queen, the royal family and the media.

Still reeling from being left out of the baptism celebrations and choosing to ignore the Jeffrey Epstein – Prince Andrew association in light of Jeffrey Epstein’s arrest, the media would once again turn their attention to Meghan and Harry. This time round accusing them of hypocrisy for going on holiday using a private jet while advocating for climate change and environmental conservation. This is a common criticism of the rich and famous by the UK media. But in this instance it was problematic because as usual the bulk of the criticism fell on Meghan accusing her of “lecturing” the British public about climate change, never mind that never once has she spoken publicly on climate change which is her husband’s area of focus. Secondly, Princes Charles and William use private jets all the time but are not subjected to this level of criticism. The double standard was exhausting, the attacks equally tiring. Elton John was compelled to address them publicly, posting on his Instagram that he had paid for their private jet and its carbon emissions and called out the media for their relentless attacks on the couple. He was one in a list of public figures to come out and defend Harry and Meghan, while the Royal Family sat back and watched this happen.

Not to be outdone by the media and in what appeared to be a calculated move to capitalize on the negative reporting on Harry and Meghan for the Cambridges’ benefit, Kensington Palace under the leadership of Simon Case made last minute arrangements for William and is wife fly a budget airline to Balmoral to visit the Queen. Of course, they just “happened” to be pictured carrying their own bags as the walked across the tarmac. On cue, the media went into phase 2 of slag Harry and Meghan off. This was clearly a publicity stunt and as much as Royal Rota attempted to defend the situation it was comical when a Scottish paper broke the backstory of this very conveniently timed flight. Two planes were flown empty for hundreds of miles so as to position an aircraft for The Cambridges’ flight to “maximise publicity”. Their expertise in carbon emissions were suddenly non-existent. The Royal Rota were so far up that Kensington tree that they continued to make ridiculous excuses for the stunt. They were squirming.

The release of Meghan’s Vogue issue provided the media with the perfect segue to get away from flights and stunts to resume their attacks on Meghan. All manner of criticism were thrown her way. She was being political, woke and all that nonsense. So-called journalists, were provided platforms by TV networks to lie about commonly known facts. It was a manufactured hysteria, that was designed probably to sabotage the issue. All the dry heaving did very little to dissuade the public and Vogue September 2019 issue “Forces for Change” went on to become fastest-selling issue in the history of British Vogue, selling out in 10 days and the biggest-selling issue of the past decade.

The ridiculous display by the British media had now attracted global attention and the media received a lot of push-back. The racism, misogyny, sexism and classism was rightfully called out and so was their double standards and hypocrisy criticising Meghan for doing everything every Royal had done in the past. The British media pushed back. Dan Wootton who happened to attend University with Jason Knauf, a senior official in William’s court and had a mutual friend with Christian Jones, Communications Secretary at Kensington palace accused Harry and Meghan of playing the victim card when in fact it was the family and their courtiers that had been briefing different parts of the media about them. His colleague at the time Emily Andrews eagerly informed the public that, the palace had been angered by Harry and Meghan’s actions and nobody was supporting them.

It wasn’t the Prince hanging out with the convicted paedophile; or another Prince allegedly having an affair with his wife’s friend; nor was it the fact that in 7 years of marriage said wife had not done anything meaningful in her royal role that had angered the palace. It was Meghan’s admirable qualities of feistiness, can-do attitude and work ethic that had angered the family and the household.

Autumn 2019

In spite of all the media criticism and angry family members briefing the media against them, Harry and Meghan pressed forward with their royal duties and each day they had to come into contact with the very same people who constantly bullied and harassed them. Meghan gave the public a glimpse of a project she had been working on with SmartWorks Charity– one of her patronages -while Harry traveled to Amsterdam to finally launch Travalyst a sustainable travel project whose earlier launch had been postponed due to scheduling conflicts within the royal households. For the media this was another opportunity to undermine Harry’s work like they have done with his achievements in the past. Not being one to shy away from tough situations, Harry stood up in front of the world media and acknowledged the criticism surrounding his use of a private jet stating majority of the time he traveled commercial but occasionally it was necessary to travel via private in order to ensure the safety of his family – as simple as that.

Almost a year after the successful launch of the cookbook that raised more than £500,000 for the ladies of the Hubb Community kitchen, Meghan in partnership with John Lewis and Partners, Marks and Spencer, Jigsaw and her friend Misha Nonoo launched the Smart Set Collection; a 5-piece capsule collection using the 1:1 model with the aim of providing SmartWorks Charity with enough units to dress the women the they support for a full year. It came as no surprise when some of the items sold out within an hour of launching and in only 8 days the target was realised with only 4 days left to the end of the sales period.

Another successful project under her belt, together with Harry they would embark on their fourth foreign visit in a little over a year. This time traveling to South Africa as representatives of her Majesty the Queen and her government at the request of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. Over the summer period the UK media had gone to even greater lengths to deny what was a clearly racist agenda against Meghan. It was racist because Meghan was being relentlessly criticised for doing the very same things that all other royals did; guest editing a magazine, using a private jet, not making a public appearance immediately after birthing her child (the public didn’t see Prince Charles until 3 months after his birth), addressing issues such as feminism, climate change, sustainability, mental health. The critics called for the palace to fire their PR team led by Sara Latham because according to them, Harry and Meghan had fallen out of favour with the public. In the words of Eamonn Holmes, “Harry and Meghan needed to consult with media types like them” to get their PR straightened out.

That narrative was difficult to square with the fact that, the press pack that would accompany the “out-favour couple” consisted of 80 accredited traveling media and 300 local media. It was even more shocking to see the number of people that turned up to the events. Interestingly though, there was a slight change in tone of coverage with Meghan gracing most front pages back at home (but then she always did), but missing was the scathing words and the name calling we had become accustomed to over the past year. The media finally had a public appearance by 5-month old Archie prompting the likes of Sarah Vine to claim that in doing so, the couple had turned things around.

On the penultimate day of the tour, in the presence of a global audience, Prince Harry released a statement in which he called out the UK media for launching a smear campaign against his wife and informing the world that his wife was taking legal action against the Mail on Sunday and Associated Newspapers for the publication of a private letter she had written to her father. The UK media was livid to say the least. While the rest of the world media covered the last day of the tour declaring it a success, their UK counterparts wallowed in self-pity choosing to make themselves the victims and questioning the timing of this announcement. As they went on and on about the action of Harry, they failed to mention to the public that a week prior to this latest announcement, Harry had filed a lawsuit against the Sun and Mirror group for phone hacking. Although the media called this a highly unusual move and warned Harry and Meghan “would draw the ire of editors”, this was not the first time the royal family had sued the press. In July 2019 Harry was paid substantial damages after suing Splash News and Picture Agency for invading his privacy when they flew a helicopter over the Oxfordshire property. William and Kate, Prince Charles and the Queen have all filed privacy suits before. Just Meghan apparently doesn’t deserve or have privacy rights.

Across the pond another Duke and Duchess were preparing to embark on a tour to Pakistan, their “most complicated tour to date”. In keeping with royal family requirements not to overshadow other working members, Harry and Meghan kept a low profile throughout the month of October. Tom Bradby a journalist and friend to Harry & William, had been traveling with the couple and making a documentary about their Southern Africa tour. Naturally he covered the new legal action as well as the behind the scenes goings on. When ITV’s release of the promo for the documentary coincided with the last day of the Pakistan tour, William and his army of reporters turn their ire towards Harry and Meghan, instead of the media company, The Royal Rota accused them of intentionally overshadowing a very important tour by the future king and his consort, as if they are responsible for programming at ITV. Unsurprisingly, the royal press pack in Pakistan told of William’s displeasure; a comment that by now, we’ve come to expect. Protocols were invented for this specific occasion with Rhiannon Mills claiming “There is an unwritten rule in the royal family that you don’t do anything too high profile when other members of the family are on tour”. And yet only 5 months ago, while Prince Charles was on tour in Germany, William himself held high profile engagements. The sky didn’t fall out and neither of them lost their place in the line of succession. Also, remember that Princess Beatrice announced her engagement during Harry and Meghan’s Southern Africa tour. It wasn’t a problem and shouldn’t be. But oh that Harry and his wife Meghan.

The UK media reviews of the documentary were scathing but globally, Meghan’s authenticity was welcomed. The hashtag #WeLoveYouMeghan trended for two days with many calling out the UK media for their blatant racism and refusal to take accountability. On the part of the royal family, customary silence as far as Harry and Meghan are concerned. When social media users pointed out that the palace was quick to put out statements in support of Prince Andrew, there were leaked reports mentioning William’s apparent “concern” for his brother. So concerned was he that he had apparently not reached out to his brother(see Finding Freedom) but was able to reach out to the media with this information using unnamed sources. When the documentary finally aired, Harry made it categorically clear that “he would not be bullied into playing the game that killed his mother”, the third time he would reference “the game” – meaning the relationship that exists between the royal family and the media.

The British establishment were unwilling to acknowledge the blatant racism Meghan had been subjected to over the past year, but we were starting to hear outcry that the media scrutiny had been relentless. 72 cross-party members of parliament wrote a public letter of support to the Duchess. Rather than take accountability for their actions, they once again blamed Meghan. In November 2018 it was announced that Harry and Meghan would be taking a 6-week break and would not be spending the upcoming Christmas holiday with the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family. A decision that was roundly and dishonestly criticised by the media.

Again, why is it that other members of the royal family can do things – anything – but Harry and Meghan dare not? What is the basis of the blatant discrimination? It certainly isn’t seniority because Andrew and Beatrice, who are 8th and 9th in line behind Archie and his father get a pass. And so did Zara Tindall and Peter Phillips when they spent Christmas away from the Queen. WHY?

[factoffictionwriter]

Tiva Fic Amnesty #7

A couple of pregnancy scenes. Just a peek into how our favorite couple might handle some of the stresses that come with bringing a new life into the world. 

Note: A well-meaning Aunt gave Ziva and Tali identical Baby Books at their Bat Mitzvahs (I think we all know an Aunt like this). 

Tony knew it was going to be a rough night when he opened the door to their apartment and found his very pregnant, very round girlfriend sitting in the middle of the living room floor hunched over the laptop. There were no lights on in the entire place, only the bright screen to illuminate her face. 

He took a deep breath before closing the door behind him, “Ziva?” 

Her head snapped in his direction, “We need a name, Tony. Our baby doesn’t have a name.” 

He sighed, “We talked about this, Ziva. We said we weren’t gonna name her until we met her.” 

“But we need to have some ideas. We can’t just expect to look at her and come up with a name out of nowhere. We have to have a list or something.” 

Here they go again. Another night like this. He glanced around their spotless apartment. He could tell she had spent most of her day cleaning, though the place had been practically immaculate when he left her this morning. Nesting, Dr. Brown had called it. Her irresistible urge to clean and prepare for the baby. Most days cleaning the apartment and reorganizing the piles of baby clothes in the nursery was enough to satiate them (first the clothes were organized by color, then by size, then by use, then back to color), but other days she paced around miserably as she tried to pinpoint what exactly it was she needed to be doing to prepare, though there was absolutely nothing left for her to do. 

At least she had already found something to fixate on tonight. But, of course, it had to be the one thing they had agreed not to spend too much time preparing. Tony had this irrational fear of naming their child. It was stupid, he knew it, but he was terrified that they would pick the wrong one and the kid would grow to resent him (like he almost had with his father. Nobody should have to be a Jr. Nobody.). 

Ziva had claimed to understand this, and they had decided that they would pick the name for their daughter in an organic way. Whatever they thought when they looked at her, that would be her name. Second trimester Ziva had been completely fine with leaving that detail to the last minute.

But clearly, 3 weeks from her due date and nesting out of her freaking mind Ziva wasn’t so cool with that plan. 

“What do you think of the name Leah?” 

He scrunched his nose, “Didn’t you tell me that Leah meant sick or weakly in Hebrew?” 

“It does.” 

“Let’s not tempt the fates. Leah is a no.”

“What about Sarah? It means ruler or princess.” 

He considered it as he moved to the wall and turned on the overhead lights, “Sarah could work. I like Sarah.” 

“I do too,” she whispered as she seemed to add that name to a list she had going on the computer.

“What did you say your mother’s name means again?” 

“Rivka? It means ‘a woman who takes a man’s heart’. But I could not name our child that. It is much too ethnic for a child growing up in america.” 

“But there is an english version of it, right?” 

She nodded, “Rebecca.” 

“I like Rebecca.” 

She scrunched up her face, “I am not sure I do.”

“Okay, no Rebecca.” 

She ran a flustered hand through her messy curls, “I have accumulated a decent list. We can go through them together in a minute. Can you go grab the baby book from the nursery? I think there is a page in there to document the names we are considering for her before she is born.”

He nodded and tossed his stuff into the corner, making his way down the hall and grabbing the book off the crowded dresser. He flipped through some of the pages was he walked back to the living room. She had really done a great job with this thing. There were pictures inserted on almost every page. Some of her, some of ultrasounds, others of the two of them together, posing in front of their apartment building and other significant places for their child. 

He flipped one final page as he cleared the hallway, stopping in his tracks as he looked down at the finely printed name on the paper. 

“Uh, babe?” 

“What?” 

“This page is already filled out.” 

“What page?” 

“The one for the baby’s name. Like her real name. Her official name.” 

“What are you talking about?”

He held the book in front of him for her to see as he crossed the room and sat on the floor beside her.

She took the book from his hand slowly, her eyes moving across the page several times before she processed what she was seeing. 

In black ink, typed in a font that was meant to look like the writing of a small child it simply said: 

My name is:

And beside it was a thin line where you were supposed to be able to write in your baby’s name. But there was already a name there, in careful script, lined all the way up to the left side of the space so that there was plenty of room behind it to write a last name. 

Tali

“Oh,” Ziva whispered as she ran her finger over the delicate letters.

“Do you know what happened?” 

She nodded, “This must have been the book my aunt gave to my sister. I remember sitting in our bedroom one day, less than a year before the attack. We were making fun of the way that Americans like to name their children after themselves.” 

He held a hand up to his chest and pretended to act wounded, “Ouch.” 

“I actually like your name, Tony. But some people can take the whole family name thing seriously. You end up with Charles White III or Malcom Brimington the VIII.” 

“Stanley Yelnats IIV.” 

She laughed, “If you want your movie references to keep going over my head, you are going to have to stop showing me so many of them. That is from Holes.” 

He smiled down at her, “I knew there was a reason I loved you.” 

“Anyway, Tali had insisted she was going to name her child after herself, whether it was a boy or girl. I told her she wouldn’t dare. It is common in the Jewish community to name your child after a loved one or a family member, but hardly ever after one of the parents. She dug out her book and pulled out a pen. She wrote her name in it, telling me that it was already done. Her child, boy or girl, was destined to be named Tali.” 

He sat up a little straighter, a whole bunch of different things coming together to click in his mind. 

“Tali DiNozzo,” He whispered so quietly he wasn’t even sure she would hear him. 

But she did. And she lifted her head up, her eyes finding his slowly, “What?” 

He cleared his throat, unexpected emotions making it feel tighter as he tried to say the name again, the name he knew would be their daughter’s, “Tali DiNozzo.” 

The corners of her mouth twitched as she tried to blink away a whole new wave of tears, “Did we just…” 

“Name our daughter? I think we did.” 

She swallowed as she tried to gather up the strength to try it out herself, “Tali DiNozzo.” 

He smiled at the way it rolled off her tongue, so much more graceful than his. He knew he had been so against picking a name before the baby came, but even he couldn’t ignore what had just happened. They hadn’t picked the name. The name had picked them. And no name had ever felt as right coming off his lips as that one did. Accept maybe Ziva’s. He would consider them a tie. 

Ziva set the book down and turned the laptop screen up so she could see it better. She squinted at it for a couple of seconds before turning her eyes back to his. 

“Tali Elizabeth DiNozzo.” 

He clenched his jaw to keep back the next set of emotions.

“My mom.” 

Ziva nodded, “That was at the top of my list. Your mother had a beautiful name.” 

“Yeah.” 

They both took deep breaths simultaneously as they let the name sit between them. 

Ziva finally looked down, pulling the fabric of her shirt up so she could put her hand directly on her swollen stomach, “What do you think, Yakiri? Do you like your name?” 

Tony leaned forward and put his hand next to hers, bending down so he could whisper against her warm skin, “Tali Elizabeth DiNozzo. What do you think?”

They waited in tense silence, both staring at the bump, anticipating a response. 

They weren’t disappointed. 

A tiny limb, be it a hand or a foot, moved just beneath his palm, then again under hers. 

“I think she likes it,” Ziva whispered.

“I think so, too.” 

“We have a name.” 

“And she’s not even here yet.” 

She winked at him before leaning back and trying to lift herself off of the floor. He watched as she leaned left and right, trying to get her balance right so she could stand up. 

She failed. And soon fell back on her ass.

“Tony…” she whined as she looked over at him, the pathetic puppy dog eyes he always knew she had inside of her but never thought she would dare pull out were on full display. 

He sighed and lifted himself off the ground before offering both his hands to her and grunting sadly as he pulled her to an upright position. 

“Do you feel better now? We have a name… we have a nursery… we have the car ready for the transport home from the hospital. We are ready for this baby, Ziva.” 

She nodded, “I know we are. I just… I don’t know. I have a feeling that she’s gonna be here before we know it. I want everything to be…”

“Perfect.” 

She sighed, “When you put it like that, I sound crazy.”

“Not crazy. You sound like a Mom. It was bound to happen eventually.”

---

Convincing Ziva to ride home with him instead of with Gibbs was a challenge. She was still worried about the man she considered her father now that he no longer had his. She remembered how hard it was to lose Eli. She remembered how much it hurt to be the last one left. Gibbs was the last of his family. She knew that had to be weighing on him.

She practically saw the ghosts of Shannon and Kelly standing next to him during the funeral. She could feel him feeling their loss. Being the last one alive had a way of bringing back all those past deaths. All that past pain. She understood. And she wasn’t sure she should leave him to drive all the way back to DC alone.

But it was a damn good thing she did. Because when they stopped at a gas station just 45 minutes away from home so she could waddle her way into the bathroom for the 500th time that day (pregnant women can see like it’s nobody’s business. Tony had not understood that until this minute), she was barely gone 5 minutes before his phone started buzzing in his pocket. Her face was on his screen. He answered it hesitantly.

“Everything okay in there?”

“Don’t freak out,” she said, her voice so calm that he almost couldn’t believe he had heard her correctly.

“Why don’t you tell me what I’m not freaking out over before I make any promises.”

“Did you remember to put the go-bag in the car before you left home?”

“Go bag? You mean the hospital bag?”

“Yeah, whatever. Did you remember to put it in the car?”

His eyes widened as he tried to cran his neck to see into the trunk of the car, “I’m not sure. Why?”

“Because we’re gonna need it.”

He froze as he tried to get his lips to move and get out the words he was thinking, “You’re not-”

“I am, Tony. My water broke. I’m going into labor.”

He started fumbling with his seat belt, finding it suddenly impossible to unbuckle, “You can’t be. You’re what…. Two weeks early?”

“Oh, right. My bad. Let me just tell the baby. I’m sure she won’t mind waiting.”

“Sarcasm isn’t helping, Ziva,” he finally managed to undo his seatbelt, now he was fumbling with opening the door.

She sighed, “Right. Sorry. Just… get in here. I need you to help me stand up.”

He tried not to laugh at his own mental picture, her sitting on the toilet, her pants around her ankles and her stomach bulging. She was stuck. And laughing was not what he needed to be doing right now.

He opened the door too aggressively, drawing the attention of a few onlookers. He ignored them.

“I’m coming, Zi. Be there in a sec.”

He ran across the parking lot, ducking into the store and almost knocking over a display of cornchips in his dash for the bathroom.

He had it all planned out. He was gonna help her get cleaned up, lead her through the gas station as quickly as possible, and gun it all the way to the hospital. He cursed himself for driving the Hyundai instead of his Porsche. Though it would be much better to drive home from the hospital with the extra room. And he was pretty sure he could still hit 120 in this thing on a good stretch of road. Sometimes having a badge pays off.

He had really thought through it all… except for the possibility of other women being in the bathroom. He burst through the door and was met with four wide eyes as two women turned to face him. One reached into her purse and he had to hold up his hands out of fear of being pepper sprayed.

“No funny business. I swear. My girlfriend just went into labor and I-”

“Tony!” Ziva yelled from inside the farthest stall, “A little help here!”

[kayteewritessteve]

If Only You Knew - 14/19

Description: You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him, and everything else that happened on that horrible night. Who would have knew that your prom would end up being a total disaster, and the very last night you’d spend in Buckhannon for the next 7 years? you certainly didn’t. That’s for sure.

Catch up HERE.

Word Count: 5,290 ish.

Pairing: Modern!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Violence. Drinking. Bad and offensive jokes. Possible triggering thoughts, feelings and emotions. Moments of bullying and harsh name calling. Lots of curse words. And a very sloooow burn.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

July 2018 - Present.

Steve hopped out of his truck, having just found a spot in 88 restaurant’s parking lot. He closed his door, then started to walk towards the entrance, clicking the lock button on his key fob a few times, until he heard the familiar honk of his truck locking and alarming itself.

Reaching the front entrance of the restaurant he paused to checked his watch, assuring he was, in fact, on time. Or rather, slightly early as was his preference for most things. He wasn’t a fan of arriving to anything late. That just wasn’t his style.

Once he saw that he had a few minutes to spare, he took a deep breath and opened the door, walking up to the hostess standing behind a podium. She greeted him with a warm smile and a quick welcome before asking for his name. Having confirmed he was here for the Barnes reservation she showed him to a private back room in the restaurant. Clearly a room reserved for functions like this.

He noticed that he was the first one to arrive. Figures, he was usually the first one for most things. He took a seat at the end of the table and picked up his menu to give it a once over before everyone else arrived. Unsure of when that would be, as Bucky was never on time for anything.

But luckily for Steve, he didn’t end up being alone for long, as he began to hear a few familiar voices coming towards the room. Glancing up from his menu right as Nat and Bucky walked into the room. Followed closely by Maria, Clint, Laura, Winnifred, Rebecca, Barney, and little James Jr.

Growing up Winnie Barnes had been basically like a second mom to Steve, she had been good friends with his mother, Sarah. Along with both Maria Hill and Kelly Hill—Nat’s aunt and mother—and Maria Stark—Steve’s Godmother/adoptive mother. The girls had all grown up together, and been inseparable all their lives.

So when Steve’s mom had passed, then Bucky’s father left and then a few years later Nat’s parents died, Winnie and both Maria’s all stepped up to basically help each other through, and raise the group of kids together. Each woman having suffered some form of terrible loss, which only brought them all closer. Made them really cherish each other in different, deeper ways. But loss can really be the catalyst for change, it can show us how precious life truly is, and that you have to really cherish it and the ones you love. Because in the blink of an eye, it can all be taken away.

So then it goes without saying that the kids all grow up together, were inseparable just are their moms/aunts were. But then the group continued to grow over the years, going from 3 best friends to 8.

Starting with bringing Sam in when his father was transferred to town with the Military. Then Clint, who actually always lived here but was home schooled till grade 5. Then Hilde who moved to live with her grandparents during her parents messy divorce, but then decided to just stay. Then the Maximoff twins, when their mom inherited a home here from a great aunt who’d passed. And then lastly, Y/N.

But anywho, a few years back Rebecca and Barney Barton—Clint’s older brother—who had married young, announced that he’d had a job offer in New York that was too good to pass up. And that they’d be relocating for it. They’d come back to visit a few times a year. It had been really hard for Bucky to lose his only sister as such a prominent part of his life, but he knew New York would be good for her, and Barney. And he still had his close group of friends to keep him company.

But when they announced Rebecca was pregnant, Bucky and Clint were so excited, but also so upset that they wouldn’t really get to be a part of their niece or nephews life. However once James Jr. was born, Bucky and Clint would go to visit them often, Nat always tagging along for the visits. It wasn’t the best set up, but they made it work.

Barney hadn’t been able to take a ton of time off for the wedding, with being so busy at work, so they had only arrived into town that morning. They’d stay for a few days to partake in the wedding then fly home shortly after the wedding.

“Of course you’d be the first one here punk,” Bucky laughed as he escorted Nat to one of the seats in the middle of the table. Then took the seat beside her, between her and Steve, and clapping Steve on the back once he was settled, “been here long?”

“No, only a few minutes or so,” he said as he leaned forward to look passed Bucky at Nat, “you look beautiful as always, Nat.”

“Trying to steal my bride, punk?” Bucky scoffs jokingly at Steve.

“At least he said something about my outfit,” she glares pointedly at Bucky then looks passed him to smile sweetly at Steve. “So thank you Stevie, that’s very sweet of you to say. And you look very handsome, as well.”

Bucky gasps and feigns offence, “I tell you all the time how beautiful you look.”

Steve chuckles and shakes his head at his two best friends as Nat over exaggeratedly rolls her eyes, “except today, it would appear.”

“What!?” Bucky’s eyes widened comically, “I totally told you, that you looked stunning as we were leaving the house!” He pauses and narrows his eyes at her, “clearly you weren’t listening to me.” And then he gasps, dramatically, “were you ignoring me, Nat?”

She just glares at him for a moment, most likely trying to come up with a retort. But chooses instead to stay silent as she realizes that he had out played her this time. But only this time.

His smug smirk proves that he had also realized as much, “that’s what I thought.” Then he pecks her on the cheek in a form of truce before turning to Steve, but before Bucky can say a word the doors open again. And in walks Hilde, Thor, Sam, Wanda, Vis and Y/N, chatting animatedly with each other before greeting everyone as they each find their seats at the table.

Steve can’t help but give Y/N a once over—that’s a lie, he glanced over her figure more then once, but that’s neither here nor there—as she entered the room. Luckily for him she ended up in the seat directly across from his, with Wanda beside her. Followed by Vis, Thor, Hilde then Rebecca and finally Barney. James Jr was set up at the end of the table, with Clint sitting across from Barney. Then Laura, Winnie and finally Maria, who was beside Nat. And then Sam was left the seat at the end of the table, by Steve and Y/N.

But let’s be real, Steve barely paid any attention to anyone else at the table in this moment, his mind had gone basically blank. Or into limp mode, as Bucky called it. Seeing Y/N all done up and dressed up stole all his thoughts. She looked stunning. But then she always did. So that really wasn’t anything new.

She was wearing a simple, form fitting, blush pencil skirt and a flowy white, off the shoulder floral top, with nude strappy heels. It wasn’t anything too fancy, but it suited her well. He was so lost in his thoughts that he barely registered her talking, until he noticed the concerned expression on her face.

“Stevie, you okay?” She whispers.

He shakes his head, to clear his mind then quickly speaks up, “ah, yeah. Yeah. I’m good,” he smiles, then leans forward slightly to whisper, “you look stunning, by the way.”

“Aw shucks, this old thing?” She gestures to herself and laughs, the sound makes his heart flutter. “But thank you. You look very handsome as well,” then she winks at him.

“Thanks,” he says through a chuckle then waits for her to get all settled in, once she was he speaks up again. “So, how did the dress try on go?”

This peaks Sams interest, who had just sat down after going around the table to say his hellos, “yeah, did you girls finally say yes to the dress—” he pauses and scrunches up his nose as he adds, “—es.”

Y/N laughs again and shakes her head, “yeah we did, and it went really well, the bridesmaids dresses are lovely but Nat’s gown is fucking stunning. Just wait till you see it.”

“Yes!” Wanda agrees in a squeal, “it’s absolutely breathtaking, you guys. Fits her like a damn glove too.”

Steve and Sam nod but before either could respond the waitress appears and takes everyones drink orders, causing Steve to realize he still hasn’t figured out what he wants to eat. So he focuses on his menu for a few minutes, adding into the conversations around him here and there.

Luckily when the waitress returns with everyone’s drinks, the whole gang has decided on what they want and all place their orders. Promptly picking up their conversations once the waitress has left again.

“I can only imagine how beautiful it is,” he says then raises his voice a little louder on the next part, so as to direct his comment more to the woman sitting two seats over, “Nat has always had amazing taste.”

“Except in men, it would appear,” Y/N adds quickly with a shit eating grin, looking directly at Bucky. Who matches her expression and adds, “and best friends, clearly,” he scoffs.

“You two are ridiculous,” Sam laughs and shakes his head.

“Oh please,” Wanda scoffs and points at Sam, “pot calling kettle black.”

And then Sam has the audacity to look offended by her words, but then bursts out laughing and nods, “alright, you got me there.”

“And this is exactly why we keep you around, Steve,” Nat pipes up as she leans forward and winks at him, ignoring the others comments but shooting them all a pointed glare. Causing everyone to chuckle as Bucky shakes his head.

“We?” Bucky jokingly scuffs, “don’t lump me into that, I’d have gotten rid of him years ago.” He turns to pat Steve on the back, smirk in place on his lips, “if the guy wasn’t so damn loveable,” he coos.

“I second that,” Sam says with a toothy grin.

“I third that!” They all hear Clint yell from the other end of the table, causing them all to look towards him.

“Hey!” Bucky points at him and jokingly glares, “butt out! You chose not to sit with us, now own your choice.”

Clint just points to James Jr. and shrugs, “he’s nicer to me then you are, so easy choice.”

“Probably because he feels bad for you,” Bucky laughs then cooes at James Jr, “isn’t that right J-Man, you just being nice to him? You like Uncle Bucky more, don’t cha? Yes. Yes, you do!” The silly voice causes James to smile widely around the fingers currently crammed in his mouth. And then Bucky grins widely in triumph, “See Clint, he likes me more.”

“Only because you have the same IQ. Birds of a feather, and all that,” Clint deadpans as he waves his hand around dismissively. But then he bursts out laughing at Bucky’s—real, this time—glare.

“Friends off! For real this time!” Bucky says then turns, effectively ignoring Clint’s reply and whispers so he won’t hear, “who even invited that guy?”

“You did,” Nat supplies, dryly.

Bucky pretends to ponder her words for a second, “oh right. Why did I invite him again?”

Then a sing song voice comes from behind Bucky, causing him to startle slightly, “because you love me.”

Steve turns just in time to see Clint lunge and awkwardly hug Bucky from behind, “I don’t like when we fight, baby.”

Everyone laughs as Bucky attempts to extricate himself from the hug, but to no avail. Clint is like a damn hawk, once his sets his sights on you, or his hands around you, there is no escaping him. You just have to suck it up and wait for it to be over.

“You know he won’t let go until you take it back,” Y/N says from across the table.

“Two words. Hawk Eye,” Wanda adds with a laugh.

“He sees all, and once he has you locked in his sights there is no escaping him,” Sam adds with a playful cringe.

“Or did you forget why we gave him that nickname in elementary school?” Nat questions.

Bucky tries for a few more seconds then sighs deeply, clearly admitting defeat and pats Clint’s arm as he mumbles, “fine, fine. Friends back on.”

“Oh thank god,” Clint sighs out then finally releases Bucky and pulls up a chair to the corner of the table so he can join in on the conversations for a bit.

Bucky rubs his neck as if it hurts, “that was less of a hug and more of a headlock.”

“You won’t get any sympathy from us. You brought that on yourself,” Steve chuckles.

The food finally arrives and Clint ventures back down to his spot. The conversations continue on while everyone eats, and then just as everyone is finishing up and the wait staff are clearing the table, a waitress comes in with 4 bouquets of red roses. Then she hands them to Bucky who takes them and turns, giving the bigger one to Nat, “these are for you. Figured it’d be more fun to have something to hold for the rehearsal.”

Nat’s face lights up as she takes it then leans forward to kiss Bucky, “awe, that was so sweet of you.” Then she brings the flowers up to her nose so she can smell them, “thank you, handsome. I love them.”

He then hands one each to Y/N and Wanda, “same for you two.” Both women thank him and then he gives the last one across the table to Thor, so he can pass it to Hilde. Who glances up at Bucky after receiving them and lips a ‘thank you,’ before smelling them.

Then everyone collects up their belongings and heads back out to their respective vehicles.

But hust as Steve is about to unlock his truck a voice stops him. “Mind if I join you?” He glances towards the voice and sees Y/N standing there, holding her bouquet. “I came with Hilde and Thor, but with Vis and Wanda in the car, it’s pretty cramped,” she laughs.

Steve smiles, “of course, no excuse needed.” He unlocks the truck then opens the door for her, offering his hand to help her up. Once she is in he closes the door and walks around, climbing into the driver's seat. Neither one says anything for the first few minutes. But the silence isn’t awkward, exactly, though there is a tension in the air. Like they both want to say something, anything, but just can’t seem to figure out exactly what to say.

And then Y/N takes the plunge, letting out a sigh, “God, this brings back so many memories.”

He glances at her, and sees that she is looking at him with a fond smile on her face. “Us together in the car?” He asks as he turns back to look at the road.

“Yeah,” she says and he sees her nod in the corner of his eye. “I feel like anytime we had to go anywhere, I was always your copilot.”

He smiles at the memories that are now running through his mind as well, “that you were,” he affirms.

“But I was never the pilot, because you refused to ever let me drive us anywhere,” she scuffs, but the giant grin on her face proves she is joking around.

Steve chuckles, “yup. Because you were a horrible driver.”

“‘Were’?” She smirks, “not ‘are’?”

“I mean, you did run a blatantly obvious stop sign while you were, and I quote,” he glances at her again and makes air quotes, “‘reading and driving’.” He shakes his head, and turns back to the road, “but I haven’t received any calls about pedestrians almost being hit, so I’m guessing you’re a little better at driving now.”

She gapes at him for a second then bursts out laughing, “that was such a low blow, Steven. You’re lucky you’re cute, as I wouldn’t put up with your shit if you weren’t.”

“Then thank God I am,” he gives her a cheeky smile to which she returns. And then a silence falls over them again. He sees her, out of the corner of his eye, bring the roses up to her nose to sniff them. And it causes a dormant memory to scream for attention in his mind, and before he knows it, the memory is playing out in his head…

February 2011 - 7 years ago.

“Happy Valentines Day, Stevie.”

He turns from his locker to see Y/N standing there with her hands behind her back and a giant grin plastered on her beautiful face. Which, in turn, causes a massive smile to form on his. “Happy Valentines Day, Y/N,” he says as he attempts to peer behind her, wondering what she is hiding.

She laughs then reveals a teddy bear stuffy holding a red heart that says ‘I liked you before you were cool’. She shrugs and holds it out to him, “now see, you aren’t exactly cool yet, but one day, when you are, this bear will be sooo valid.”

Steve just looks between the bear and Y/N for a couple seconds then bursts out laughing as he takes the offered stuffy. “First off, mean. I am totally cool—“

She cuts him off to point out, “if you have to say that, then you aren’t.” She shakes her head and is clearly trying her best not to burst out laughing, “but continue.”

He narrows his eyes at her, “we’ll come back to that,” he promises. To which she just smirks and motions for him to keep going, so he does, “And secondly—but don’t let this go to your head too much. This is by far the greatest thing anyone has ever given me.” He wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her in for a hug, murmuring, “thank you, I love it,” into her hair then kissing the top of her head.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you like it,” she murmurs back into his chest.

After a moment he reluctantly releases her from the hug and takes a step back, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “I uh,” he pauses, he had gotten her something but he didn’t want her to know about it. Nor was he sure he’d tell her they were from him, even if she did currently have them, “don’t have anything to give you in return.” Which wasn’t a lie. Technically.

She waves him off, “s’okay, Stevie. You don’t have to get me anything, I just saw that bear and thought of you,” she shrugs.

“Because I’m cool,” he notes with a smirk.

She rolls her eyes, and pats his arm, sympathetically, “keep telling yourself that, big guy.”

Before he can respond someone calls her name and they both look to see Hilde, Wanda and Nat motioning for her to join them. They smile and wave at Steve, and he waves back.

“I have to go help hand out the roses,” she says and he looks back towards her, “But I’ll see you later, and Happy Valentines Day.” She pauses, then chuckles, “again.”

“Okay, have fun. And Happy Valentines Day, Y/N.” He pauses for effect, “again.”

They share a quick hug and then Y/N runs off. He doesn’t see much of her for the rest of the day, as she was busy handing out all the roses. Each year for Valentines Day some of the grade twelve grad students, all by volunteer, organize some sort of festivities for the romantic holiday.

This year they had chosen to do a rose sale, meaning that for the last two weeks students could purchase roses for whomever they so choose—either anonymously or not—and they’d be delivered to that student on Valentines Day. Being today.

So Steve had secretly approached Nat on the first day of sales and ordered 17 roses to be sent to Y/N. One for each month he had known her. It was cheesy as hell. Yeah, he knows. And not just because Nat had fake gagged when he told her. But because he was always a cheese ball when it came to Y/N, and honestly, he could care less. He was proud of his cheese ball status. Long live the cheese balls! …Or ...maybe not… fear had ripped through him the second Nat went to write his name on the card and he quickly stopped her, adamantly refusing to sign his name. And telling her to mark them from ‘anonymous’.

Which she was not too pleased about, as she had attempted to talk him into being honest with Y/N this year. Saying that maybe this would be the opening he needed to finally tell her how he felt, but in true Classic Steve form, he said, “now’s not really a good time.” Nat went to rebuke his decision but the school bell rang before she could, and he quickly said his goodbye and walked off. Taking up the literal ‘saved by the bell’ moment, and not wanting to open that can of worms with Nat, again.

So throughout the day, he’d caught small glimpses of her, here and there. Like when her and Hilde had come into his homeroom to hand out the roses to the different students. 13 of which ended up on his desk, some labelled with random girls names, and some anonymously sent. Y/N had made a, “okay, so maybe you’re a little cool,” joke when she gave them all the him. Causing them both to chuckle quietly before she finished handing out the roses and left to the next class.

Then he’d ran into her again in the hall, they’d only shared a few hurried words before she had to continue on. She’d mentioned something about an entire class being forgotten. So as she tore off down the hall she hollered a, “I hope your Valentine’s Day is going better then mine!” over her shoulder.

And his day may have been quieter than hers, that’s for sure, but it wasn’t going any better. He missed spending his free time with her, she hadn’t even met up with them for lunch. But then neither did Hilde, Wanda or Nat.

So it was just the boys all day. Which wasn’t a bad thing, he’d just gotten so used to her being a prominent fixture in his days, but today of all days, that was not the case. He was being a baby, he knows, but he just missed her. A lot.

Then about an hour before the school day was up, he ran into her again. She looked utterly exhausted and completely done with the day.

“Rough day, huh?” He asked as he fell into step with her in the hall.

“That’s an understatement,” she sighed and looked up at him, “I dunno how things got so messed up. Everything was in order when we did our final checks yesterday, but then we come in this morning and it was like someone had gone through and changed a bunch of stuff.” She shook her head, “but that’s silly, who would want to mess up Valentine’s Day for everyone else?” She asked but he knew she wasn’t looking for an answer, she was just thinking out loud. So he just shrugged in response.

There was a question burning in his mind, but he wasn’t sure how to broach the topic. So he opted to just ask, “so, did you get any roses today?”

She glanced up at him, and smiled, but he could tell it was forced. “No, but that’s okay,” she waved it off, “I figured I wouldn’t get any,” she shrugged, as if it was no big deal.

But it was a big deal, he had bought her roses, 17 to be exact, and she hadn’t received them. So someone did, in fact, fuck with their lists.

Now he was pissed but he held it down and pulled out his phone, making sure Y/N couldn’t see as he quickly fired off a text to Nat, then tucked his phone away. Where the hell had the roses he’d bought for her gone? “I’m sorry, Y/N. Maybe there was just a mix up?”

She shook her head, “no, we found all the mix ups. And everyone else in my class got theirs, so,” she shrugged one shoulder. “But seriously it’s okay. I didn’t expect to get any, as I’m not exactly popular in the guys department,” she tried to laugh it off, though it sounded bitter and sad. Which broke his heart, he was about to reply when his phone buzzed and he pulled it out to see a reply from Nat.

“Trust me, that’s a good thing. All the guys in this school are assholes,” he mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck. “But how about I take you out to dinner tonight, just the two of us?” He paused, then added, “ya know, as a thank you for all your hard work today.”

She sighed, “s’okay, Steve, you don’t have to do that. I’m sure you have better things to do on a Valentines Day evening then hang with your best friend.” But oh how wrong she was, that was actually exactly what he wanted the most. And she was the exact person he wanted that with. He went to protest but she continued on, “plus, Hilda, Wanda and I are having a single ladies night, so you won’t need to drive me home today, as Hilde is gonna take me. And she’s gonna drive me to school in the morning as well.” She looked up at him, “But I have to get to my last class, so I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Uh, okay. Yeah,” he nodded, even more bummed out now. “Yeah, I’ll ah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Have fun with the girls, and happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N,” he pulled her in for a hug that ended far too quickly.

“Thanks, Stevie, happy Valentine’s Day.” Then she walked off in the direction of her next class. He watched as she disappeared around a corner then instantly her was pissed again. He headed for the front doors, going to meet Nat in the student parking lot.

Once he got there he saw her standing by his jeep, papers in her hands. “What happened, Nat?”

She sighed, “I have no idea. The lists were all correct and then half way through the day, when I was going to deliver the roses to Y/N’s class with Stephanie, Y/N wasn’t on the list anymore. I have no idea what happened, all the roses were sold so I couldn’t even make up a new order for her as we didn’t have any roses left.” She glanced down at the papers, “I have searched through all the lists, everything, and I can’t find any mention of her roses anywhere. And the original list that I wrote the order on is just gone, replaced by a new list that doesn’t have Y/N on it. I don’t get it!” She huffed.

“So what do we do now?”

“Well, I can reimburse you, as now our cash box will be over by the amount of your order. Since it appears the 17 roses were sold a second time to other students.” She sighed, “I’m so sorry, Steve. I don’t know how this happened.”

Something about all this just wasn’t sitting right with him, “can I see the new list? The one missing Y/N’s name.”

She nodded and shuffled through the papers to find it then handed it to him. He glanced over it and it all clicked, instantly. “I should have known she’d be behind this,” he seethed.

“What? Who?” Nat asked as she reached to take the page back from him.

“Fucking Madi,” he growled as he pointed to the page, every order was written in the same handwriting, “that’s her handwriting.” He’d recognize it anywhere.

Nat stared at the page for a moment, before whispering, “how did I miss that! that fucking bitch.” She looked up at Steve, “how dare she! And how could I have not clued in that she’d be behind this!” She shook her head, “fuck, Steve, I’m so sorry.”

And he shook his head back, “not your fault, Nat. I don’t blame you at all, I blame her. What the fuck is wrong with her?” He scrubbed a hand down his face.

“Do we confront her about this?” Nat asked.

“No point now, she will just play innocent and say it was a mistake, or something. Like she just missed it when she transferred the list,” he sighed.

“Damnit,” Nat sighed as well, then whispered, “I really fucking dislike her.”

“Yeah. Join the club.”

They chatted a little longer, then Nat reimbursed him the money from the order and they both headed off to class.

This whole day had been basically shit, from start to finish. And he knew it wasn’t going to get any better, since he was well aware he wouldn’t get to see Y/N again for the rest of it.

So that evening he went to 4 different flower shops around town, the first 3 being entirely sold out of roses. Then he went to the 4th shop, and they had a couple left, so he bought them, and a vase. He removed all the cards from the ones he’d received at school and put them in the vase with the few he bought. Totalling 17 roses all together.

He then went to her house later that night, knowing she would be at Hilde’s for the night, and climbed up into her room. Which was tricky as hell with the vase. Once he finally got in, he put the roses on her desk and pulled out a water bottle, he added water to the vase then snuck back out and went home.

It wasn’t till the next evening that she finally got home and saw them, and he only knew that because she texted him a thank you.

The morning after that, when he picked her up for school, she gave him a huge hug and a playful swat on the arm, saying, “that was really sweet, but you didn’t have to do that for me, Steve!”

He just shrugged and replied, “you deserved it.”

Though she’d never actually learn the truth behind those words, or the story of the original 17 roses that went missing thanks to another girls petty jealousy.

Present - July 2018.

They arrived at the chapel, along with the whole gang, and everyone headed inside. They go over everything with the priest and then they did a few dry runs of the wedding walk. Nat wanting to make sure everyone knew how fast to walk and where to stand.

Once the rehearsals were all finished everyone said their goodbyes then piled back into their cars. Steve ended up offering to drive Y/N home and they chatted the whole way there. And once they got to her house they just sat there in his truck for an hour, catching up and laughing, before she yawned and he decided it was time for him to leave.

They shared a quick hug and then she headed inside. And as he drove away he got an idea, and vowed to go to the flower shop one of these days. As It had been far too long since he’d bought her flowers, and he had 7 years of missed Valentines Days to make up for.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

@hopefulmoonobject @caps-lockdown @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @tessvillegas @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang @giggleberts @casuallydarktiger @theonelittleone @agentbadbitch @ratwrites @starrystellars @bandsandanimefreak @rockyroadthepastryarchy @lovvliies @cuffski @icesoccerer @alwaysright4 @lilsthethrills @imdiegohargreeves @zombiepotterfour @mu-mu-rs @ledandan1244 @straightforwardly @badassbeckettswan @denzmallows @xremember-me-notx @gwynethjodie @lollipopdomination @capstopavenger @jemimah-b99 @rcvenqers @justkending @marvel13princess

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 50

Chapter Summary - Tom decides to get the last few bits of shopping, and hopes bringing Emma with him will clear the air, leading to arguments between the usually close siblings. While that occurs, Danielle decides to go trail biking, but with her mind on Tom and the situation with Emma, she is not paying full attention to her surrounds, leading to potentially dangerous outcomes

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

After 100,000 words we are finally to chapter 50, what will happen when Emma is finally confronted.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog  @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @lys-syl @youcantcatchafallingstar

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

“Tom?” Diana looked at her son, “Are you alright, Sweetheart?”

Tom forced himself out of his head. “Yeah, I am just thinking about what I need to do today.”

“And what does that include?”

“Get one or two more things, wrap a few presents and see if Danielle wants to go out for a while, you?”

“Well, I saw her walking off a while ago with Mac and her bike, so I think she will be gone for a bit, I have to get a few last bits for the dinner tomorrow, do not tell me you left gifts until the last minute again?”

“Mum, that was three years ago, I was working until the day before Christmas Eve and I don’t know why you are going on about it, I got you that nice perfume you have not stopped wearing since.”

“It is true. What have you gotten Danielle?”

“I got her a surprise,” he replied cryptically.

“Thomas, please tell me you have not waited until last minute to get that girl her present.” His mother half pleaded.

“I haven’t.”

“Thomas…”

“I have most of it.”

“Oh for goodness sake Tom, you are just like your father.”

“Well with the hours she works, how do you know Elle has anything done for me?” He challenged with a cheeky smile.

“Do you honestly think that that pathetic attempt at getting me to tell you what she got you will work?” Diana laughed, causing Tom’s face to fall. “Not going to happen son of mine, and with regards what she got you, she has it gotten with a month.”

“You know what it is?” Tom asked excitedly.

“But of course I do. I am the matriarch of this family, I keep an eye on everything.” his mother smiled.

“What is it?”

“Do you think I would tell you?”

“Is it good?”

“It is exactly something you would love.” she declared, “That is all you are getting, so get your ass in gear and get the rest of hers.”

“Right, I’ll ask Em if she wants to come.” Tom grinned, walking back into the house. Diana nodded in approval as she went about her own business.

*

“What do you think?” Tom asked excitedly as he held up the item in hand.

“It’s a scarf, Tom.” Emma snapped back. “Is that all you are getting her or am I going to have to endure this for the day.”

Tom looked at the scarf for another moment, having checked online to see if it was even available in shops and not from ordering online and was elated when he realised it was for sale near his mother’s. Making the decision to add it to Danielle’s gifts he already got her, he turned and brought it to the till. When he paid, he walked out of the shop and went back to his car without waiting for Emma. With a sour face, Emma got in next to him. “What the hell is your problem Emma, you need to spit it out now since you didn’t have the decency to speak to me or Danielle regarding it before now, instead you just act like a spoilt brat. We get it, it is a little weird for you, but are you actually that spiteful that you would allow yourself to be the reason that not one, but two people you say you care about be unhappy?” he started up the car and revved the engine before driving towards their next stop.

“Neither of you asked me,” she started.

“Why would we, what would we even ask? We are two responsible adults, we can’t ask anyone about how we feel for one another, there is nothing to ask. We wanted to tell you ourselves, same as with mum, but she got to you first, and for that, I really am sorry, that is not the way to find out, but for fuck sake Emma, we are not going to stop loving each other just because you are getting bratty.”

“She was my friend, you had the choice of every woman in the world and you chose her.” Emma shouted at him, tears in her eyes, “It ruined everything, I thought I had one friend that actually cared about me, and was not trying to use me to get to you, and now I can’t even have that.”

“‘Was’? So that’s it, she is cast aside because, in addition to being your best friend, she is not permitted to love me, is that it? Your friends cannot love more than one Hiddleston, there’s a fucking quota because you know how mum feels about her, and how she feels with regards mum, why is that different to her and me?”

“Because one of you will fuck it up, and she will never speak to me again.”

“So, because we are not perfect, cut her loose before she leaves, is that the plan? She adores you Em, she sees you as a sister.”

“Well, then she shouldn’t have even considered you then, should she?”

“She never saw me and Sarah the same way she saw you, she adores you, and you doing this is breaking her heart.”

“Not enough for her to stop it.”

“If you dare ask her to, then you don’t deserve her friendship. No real friend would ever make such an ultimatum.” Tom growled. “And the mere idea you would do that to someone I love sickens me.”

“You are with one another a few weeks, it’s not love, Tom.”

Tom pulled in and glared at her. “I do not need to explain myself to you, but here it is, I have been in love with Elle since before your wedding,” Emma stared at him in shock. “It was in the preparations for which, when I was spending more time than I ever had before in her company, I realised she was the most amazing, brilliant and beautiful woman I had ever known and when I saw her in that dress, I, to this day, regret not pulling her aside and kissing her. I love her Emma, and she says she loves me too, and I believe her, so stop being a selfish bitch and ruining everyone's Christmas. As Elle had to say to me not too long ago, get over yourself.” Emma said nothing for a minute, instead she just stared out the window. “And why the fuck do you think this would ever end, much less in a manner that would mean your friendship being in jeopardy?”

“Because you sabotage every relationship you ever had, well the ones before Taylor, that joke doesn’t count. As soon as you get the first hint of trouble, you run, and this time, you cannot, Elle lives next to mum, you can’t avoid her when this is done.”

“I don’t want it to be ‘done’, I love her, I have not loved anyone in years.”

“You loved Susannah.”

“We were young and wanted entirely different things in life, I loved her, but not like I love Elle, we were not compatible.”

Emma scoffed, still looking out the window. “And you think you and Elle are?”

“We’ve spoken about what we want, and yes, they are somewhat similar, I know she prefers the country, yet she knows I need to be near the city, so I will happily move to a leafy suburb if it would make her happy and make the commute into town when needed, we discussed that and she was happy with it,”

“And I can imagine the whole kid's conversation going so smoothly.”

“Two,” She turned to face Tom. “Well, I wanted three, but she doesn’t want more than she has hands to hold, so,” he shrugged.

“You spoke to her about this?”

“Yes, you don’t seem to be getting this Emma, I want to be with her, I want with her what Ben and Sophie have, what you and Sarah both have, I want that, and Elle is the only woman I have looked at and thought that she would be the one I will have that with, that she is who I will be happy with, every time I am with her, I feel so much like how I used to be before all the world was staring, normal, happy. You would have noticed if you bothered to even speak to us, to be around us. I genuinely thought you would be happy for us, she has been so hurt that you have given her the cold shoulder, that you won’t talk to her.”

Emma sighed. “I’m sorry.” Tom looked at her. “I’m sorry I got bratty, are you happy?”

“That is not what you have to apologise for Emma.”

“I am sorry I did not simply voice my upset and went and said what I said.” she clarified, “Better?”

“Yes.” Tom indicated for the car to go back into traffic again. “We care about you Em, we wanted to talk to you about this.”

“Well, hearing from mum wasn’t the best way to find out.” She looked out the window again. “I can’t believe you talked about kids. Danielle never said whether or not she wanted any.”

“What? She doesn’t want kids?”

“I never said she didn’t want any, I said she never made mention of it either way. Oh my God, she could end up marrying you and being my sister-in-law.”

“You’ll be a shoo-in for maid of honour.” Tom joked.

“If that happened, she could end up having your baby.” Emma looked him up and down in disgust.

“Would that be a bad thing?” Tom laughed.

“My best friend, pregnant with my brother’s baby, what do you think?”

“Well as said brother, if it were to happen in the future, I would think it would be a very happy thing.”

“It’s weird, Tom.”

“I promise you’d be Godmother.” he smiled.

“Over Sarah?”

“Yep.”

“Fine.” Tom looked over to see Emma looking at him with a big smile on her face, “I’ll apologise to Elle when we get back.”

“She will cry with happiness Emma, she misses you so much, she feels lost without you there.”

“What can I say, I am just that fabulous.”

“When you are not being an annoying little brat, you might just be.” Tom smiled, relieved to be finally able to have Elle and Emma talking again, and in turn, hopefully, lift that dark cloud he had noticed over Elle.

*

Danielle knew she was pushing herself too much, she knew she was going too fast, too deep in the woodland and that she would ache more for it tomorrow, but frustration and hurt built and built, until finally, she was splashing her way through the woodland trail, mud staining her face, arms and legs, and if she could see the back of her cycling jacket, that too.

Emma had asked she have her brother for a time, there was nothing wrong with that, she had had him for a fortnight straight, but the idea of spending Christmas day away from him and everyone else she considered family, hurt; she felt incredibly isolated and alone. She had distant relatives in Ireland, but they were never close, so why would she go to them. Perhaps for a while, she and Tom could go for a walk, she wanted to give him his present, she would only have to wait and see.

She realised then that Mac was not in front of her any longer and turned her head slightly to see if he was behind her, seeing him in the distance, she pulled on the brakes to get the bike to stop, but her peculiar angle caused the bike to skid sideways. Putting her hands out, she fell to the ground with a painful thud, the sound of Mac barking frantically as he rushed over to her and the clouded sky above her the only two things she could focus on as she lay there.

[mlovesstories]

You Know What You’re Doing Part 8

Tag List

Ask Box

Masterlist of Masterlists

LN- Last Name

Words 2100

AN- @spndeanbingo square: first date

Warnings: Dick!Jensen, arrests, break-ins, sweet Jared, cussing, therapy, low self-esteem

YN’s psychologist pulled Danneel and Jensen into the room when it was time for YN to be picked up.

“As we all know, she has been through a lot. I wanted to implement something, but I need your help to do it,” the doctor said.

“Anything,” Danneel affirmed him.

“I’m giving her this notebook. This is for her eyes only. I’ve asked her to put it in a place where the little ones can’t find it.” He handed YN the blue spiraled material. “You can decorate it, make it yours and write whatever is on your mind that you want to talk to me about next time,” the doc encouraged YN. “Next, I want her to have two hours a week of YN Time. I would like her to have some self-care designated just for her. Maybe you allow her to treat herself to spa time at home, let her go to a park, drop her off at the mall, but it has to be by herself. No interruptions from you or the little ones. You guys can talk about what that looks like for you later. And whatever it is can change from week to week. If she requests it, please grant it unless there is something pressing.”

“That sounds awesome! Can I get some prescribed alone time too?” Jensen responded sarcastically. 

“Jensen!” Danneel gasped.

The doctor stood tall and addressed the foster dad.

“Sir, you are not my patient. YN is. Are you willing to support her in doing this in a positive manner?”

Jensen shut his mouth as soon as his words left his lips. He took a beat and answered.

“Yes, of course. I’m sorry, YN. You deserve those two hours.”

YN cowered behind the doctor not trusting Jensen with this new homework she was given.  

“I think it will greatly lower her stress. You all have been put in an interesting but strenuous situations, and I want her to get back to her being YN without anyone around so that she can find out who she is again.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” Jensen nodded.

“Great. Thank you for your support. I’ll see you next week, YN.”

———

The next week flew by. YN said goodbye to Jensen for one last week on Supernatural before he would be home until July. She used her notebook often whenever she questioned her decisions or was confused about a situation and she reveled in her alone time. It was quiet, and she could actually think for herself.

——-

“Jensen, please stop asking me,” YN stood firm. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why are you hiding this information?”

“I’m not hiding anything! I’m just not ready to tell you yet. I’m going to talk to the doc about it.” She huffed. Proud of herself for her increase in positive communication, her lips hinted a grin.

“What is so damn funny?” Jensen growled at her through the phone screen. She snapped out of her thoughts.

“Nothing. Daydreaming.”

“Fine, then,” he groaned.

“I don’t have to tell you everything, Jensen. Just because you can tell something is bothering me doesn’t mean I have to actually tell you what it is!” YN rolled her eyes.

“Hey! Don’t be rude!”

“Just stop!”

“Both of you, cool it! Gah, you guys are so similar. YN needs to go finish something, and YOU,” she pointed to her husband, “should catch up with your other kids now.” The foster mom walked in on the conversation to retrieve her phone from YN. Danneel eyed him, silently telling him to leave it alone.

“I love you, YN.”

“Bye, Jensen.” YN sadly handed the phone back to Danneel.

“Get back to it, YN. It’s okay,” she soothed.

As Danneel left, YN picked up her pen and continued to write in her notebook for her psychologist.

———

YN NOTEBOOK ENTRY

It’s hard being back, even though we were only taken for a few hours.  I see those two freaks everywhere I go

Am I a bad kid?

I am trying so hard, but i can’t do anything right.

I stood up for myself and he still thinks I’m stupid.

———

“Are all the munchkins in bed?” Jensen walked through the door at 11pm on a Friday night.

“Yeah,” Danneel whispered. “Long first week on summer,” she smiled tiredly. “Come on, shower and then bed. I need my man to actually share our bed with tonight,” Danneel grinned, thankful to have him home.

“Ooo, are you thinking what I’m thinking?” The husband wiggled his eyebrows.

“That sleep sounds amazing and any adult fun can wait? Yep!” She dragged him and his belongings up the stairs.

“You’re no fun,” he mocked her.

“Babe, I’m SO tired. Please, not tonight,” she whispered as they entered their bedroom.

“Totally fine, my love. Just teasing,” he turned her around and kissed her forehead. “Be back in five.” Jensen ran off to shower before returning in only pajama pants. “Hey, are you ready for bed-,” he stopped. Jensen saw his foster daughter wailing in Danneel’s arms on their bed. He raised a brow, silently asking what had happened.

“She’s had a rough week. Be nice,” Danneel mouthed to him. He came into her line of sight before she sat up.

“Hi, Jensen,” YN stated.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he smiled. “Bad week?”

“Just bad dreams. I’m okay. They just feel so real all over again.”

“I’m so sorry. Is there anything we can do to help?” He sat down next to his girls on the large mattress.

“Dee and I have been falling asleep to the TV… but you’re home now, so-“

“So we can all do it. Come on, get in the middle.” He launched himself onto his side of the bed making YN laugh. She scooted to a comfortable position next to him with Danneel on the other side.

“I forgot Baby,” YN frowned. “Oh well.”

“Who is Baby?” Jensen confusedly tilted his head.

“My impala stuffie you gave me. It’s okay. You guys will suffice,” she giggled.

“Okay! Trash TV or HGTV?” Danneel grabbed the remote and turned on the flatscreen.

“Something calm, please?” YN asked.

“Umm, how about Good Bones?”

“I like the two ladies on that show. They’re funny,” YN smirked.

“Perfect.  Everybody get comfy.”

Before they could blink, YN fell asleep against Danneel. The foster mom smiled.

“She’s more relaxed since you’re home,” she whispered.

“Nah, she just had a long week.”

“She asks for you, ya know.” Danneel eyed him.

“She does?”

“Yeah. Says it in passing mostly, but she feels safer with you around.” Jensen became quiet at her statement.  “What’s wrong, Jay?”

“Nothing, just surprised,” he shrugged.  “I’ve never worked so hard to earn someone’s comfortability,” Jensen beamed.

Since YN crashed on their bed, the couple moved to the living room.  Eventually they fell asleep leaning against each other.  The next morning, Danneel’s phone rang.  Seeing that Sarah’s name was displayed across the screen, she answered it quickly.  

“Sarah?” Danneel ran a hand over her face.

“Hi, Mrs. Ackles.  I’m sorry to bother you so early, but I have some news.”

“It’s fine, Sarah.  What happened?” She stood and exited to a spare bedroom on the first floor of their home.  

“I am required by law to let YN know that her father is now out of prison.” Sarah sucked in a breath.

“I thought he was going to be there for a lot longer.  So what does that mean for us?”

“He has no rights to her, but he could potentially reach out to her.  We aren’t there yet, and we may never be.  I’m not sure.”

“But she doesn’t even know him.  Her file said he left her when she was three.” Danneel tried to sort out the situation.  

“I know, but-”

“What?”  YN stopped in the doorway of the bedroom.  

“Hey, sweetie.  Come here,” she motioned for YN to accept a side hug.  “Sarah, I have to go.  I can get more information later.”  With that, the foster mom hung up.  “YN, Sarah called because your dad is being let out of prison.  She is obligated to let you know.”

“You mean Alex?” YN crash-landed onto the guest bed.  

“Yeah.”

“Why does she have to tell me?”  YN confusedly looked up at Danneel.

“I guess it’s the law.”

“I haven’t seen him since I was three.”

YN- 3 years old

“Daddy?”  YN questioned.

“Baby, I’ll come back for you!” Her dad was dragged out of the apartment by officers in cuffs.  

Before she knew what happened, a young woman walked to her and said, “Hi YN.  My name is Sarah…”

Pulling herself back to reality, she shivered.  

“He got pulled out with bracelets on.  I barely remember it.  He gave up his rights to me, and I was put into the system.  I met Sarah that day. She was the only person that cared since that day.”

“I’m so sad that you can’t be with either of your parents.” Danneel rubbed her arm.

“Mom died at birth, she won’t be looking for me,” YN put her head in her hands. “I’m not even supposed to be here.  They had a one-night stand.  She got pregnant on their first date.

“You’ve been alone for eleven years,” Danneel realized.

“I had Sarah, but yeah.  Do you think he’ll try to talk to me?  He went to jail.  I mean, he scares me.”

“We’ll take it one step at a time.”

YN JOURNAL ENTRY

I heard he was bad.  He hasn’t been there.  What happens if he wants to know me?  

“Hey, kiddo.”  Jensen knocked on her door frame.  She screamed.  “Oh, YN.  I’m sorry.”

After a deep breath, she said, “It’s okay.”

“Heard you had an interesting morning.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re so strong.” She was surprised by his statement.  “You’ve been through a lot.  No matter what, we’ll be here. Promise.” Not thinking much of it, he went to leave the room when she ran into his arms.  He took a step back when he absorbed her running into his chest.  “What’s wrong?” His shirt slowly grew a wet spot.  Jensen became quiet when she started shaking, not comprehending what he was asking her.  “I know.  It’s a lot.  You’re so strong,” he whispered to her, but it was more for himself to hear it.  As she calmed, YN took a step back.  

“I don’t know.  I just don’t know what to think, I guess.”

“I can understand that.  It must be so difficult to think about your dad.”

“What if he wants to see me?”

“Sweetie, we don’t know if he will.”

“He hurt people.  That’s why he is in jail.”

“That must be really scary,” Jensen affirmed her.  

“Yeah, I think I will talk to the doc about it.”

“I support that. I think that’s a great idea,” Jensen smiled.  

______

“Hey, YN.  We’re going on our date.  You gonna be okay here by yourself? We’ll bring the little ones home from Grandma and Grandpa’s house.”

“I’ll be fine.  Promise.”

“Okay.  If anything happens-”

“Call or text, I know.  Thanks, Dee.”

“You can stay up late, but don’t go crazy, okay?”

“Can I rent some movies on the TV?”

“Two tops, and then bed, got it?”

“Yes!” YN enthusiastically pumped her fist in the air.  “Got it.  Have fun.”

______

While Jensen and Danneel were gone, YN watched a movie and ate some popcorn.  Since it was getting into summer weather, she opened the front windows and back doors that led out to screened-in porch. Half way through her second movie, she heard something outside.  She stopped the movie, grabbed her phone, and slowly walked to the peephole in the front door.  YN saw something on the porch that hadn’t been there hours earlier.  In a panic, she called Jared who she knew was home.  

“Please pick up,” she whispered.

“Hey, YN.  It’s late-”

“Somebody was here, and I’m home alone,” she softly interrupted him.

“Okay, be right there. Turn on the outside lights, hide in your bathroom.  I’ll come get you.”

���Okay, stay on the phone though.  I’m scared.”

Before she knew it, Jared announced himself, and he opened the door.

“It’s clear.  I didn’t see anybody,” he barely stated before she ran into his arms.  “It’s okay.  I locked everything and shut all the doors.” He stroked her hair.

“Thank you, Jared,” she spoke into his jacket.  

“Of course.  Gen did call the cops though.  They should be here soon.”

“Okay.  Do you think Dee and Jay will be mad?” YN looked up at him.

“No.  I think they will be proud that you kept your wits about you and did the right thing.  Oh, I hear the sirens.  Go call them while I talk to the cops, okay? Can you do that?”

“Yeah.” She stayed in her room while Jared went back downstairs to greet the police officers. “Dee? Somebody was here. I don’t know who, but they left something so I called Jared-“

“Are you safe?” Danneel interrupted YN.

“Jared and the cops are here now. I was so scared.”

“Okay, we’ll be right there.” She hung up.

As YN walked downstairs, Jared motioned for her to come join him.

“This is YN,” Jared introduced her to the officer.

“Miss, are you aware that this note that was on the porch was for you?” He showed her the front of a letter with her name on it.

“Uh. What?”

“It’s signed an Alex LN. Do you know who that is?”

She gasped and held onto Jared.

“That’s my father.” 

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[truthbeetoldmedia]

Mayans MC 2x01 “Xbalanque” Review

The Season 2 premiere of Mayans MC rolled right in with grandeur and intrigue. We were able to briefly catch up with a solid majority of our favorite characters and were introduced to the curious dramas that may befall them this season. There seems to be about five different aspects that will be part of the main focus. 

The Mayans, Galindo Cartel, and Los Olvidados are all working together, as per Miguel Galindo and Adelita’s (Louisa Espina) deal to keep the Galindo cartel the number one cartel in Mexico, while also funneling the money earned back into the communities. The Mayans were brought in as advisors on this deal, as well as muscle. However, Lincoln Potter thinks Galindo is working with him to take Los Olvidados down. In fact, Potter is working with mercenaries to take down each and every hideout and ally they can find that “belongs” to the Rebels. According to Potter, it’s going well and they are almost at the final mission. 

The Mayans accompany the mercenaries on this final mission that turns out to be a total fraud because they plant phones and Rebel propaganda to mislead the mercenaries into thinking these people are actually part of Los Olvidados. Who are these people that are actually being killed? I do not have the answer to that. Casualties of war. It’s when one of Adelita’s kids in the group, Mini, gets snatched by one of the mercenaries, that things start to diverge from the plans the MC had. This child faces torture and most definitely death, even if she talks to them about Adelita and the Rebels. 

Well, these big bad biker dudes aren’t going to let that happen. They barge in, guns ablaze, killing all the mercenaries. EZ has the final kill and it’s with a brutal strangulation after the mercenary was about to kill El Padrino, Marcus Alvarez. Mini is saved. Alvarez is saved. They had no casualties.  Los Olvidados lives another day. 

Reyes Family Discourse

We left off with major tensions between EZ and Angel Reyes. Angel, always the odd child out, had felt that their father, Felipe, had always chosen EZ over him and, in this instance, he most definitely did. You see, EZ had always been the golden child. He has the brains to do just about anything. With his record currently expunged by Lincoln Potter, the world is still his oyster. The deal EZ had made with federal agents is what ultimately broke Angel’s heart last season. Angel made the decision to kill Jimenez for Potter so EZ can really leave that life behind and make something for himself. 

Just because Angel had EZ’s best interest at heart, doesn’t mean that a) EZ took what his big brother was offering and b) Angel isn’t still pissed at EZ. The tension is palpable and it has absolutely no place in the MC and their business. By the end of the episode, Bishop forces EZ to talk to Angel and work it out because the vote to patch EZ into the club is coming up and the vote of all the members has to be unanimous. We know Angel doesn’t want EZ in the club. It’s up to EZ to fix things with his brother, so off he goes to find a solution to their mess.  

The solution comes in the form of EZ going to Angel with the identity of the person who killed their mother. I’m guessing he’s hoping that they’ll be able to bring their mother’s murderer to justice (in their own way) together.    

Galindo Family Discourse 

When we’re reunited with our Galindo family, Miguel and Emily appear to be happy. Emily’s been brought into more of the business side of the family. However, it seems Miguel is still keeping some things from her, in regards as to what happens on the south side of the border. While they clearly love each other, there is still tension between them. Something is plaguing Dita, Miguel’s mother. She just seems like an entirely different woman than she was last season. Miguel’s not around too much, so it seems Emily is the one that has to take care of Dita. Dita isn’t happy that Miguel isn’t home with Cristobal and she’s not happy that Emily has taken to being a working mom, instead of devoting her whole life to being a mother. 

Dita makes a comment to Emily while waiting to be taken to an appointment that she feels she’s getting worse. At the end of the episode, Dita takes off a wig and undresses. She is completely covered in burns. Makes me think it could have been from Miguel. He was quite pissed at being lied to last season, but does he have it in him to hurt his own mother? 

Angelita…and Miguel? 

Soooo...Adelita is pregnant, on the verge of giving birth. According to Miguel, she hasn’t told anyone who the father is yet. When Season 1 concluded, Angel and Adelita’s feelings for each other were pretty apparent, but they weren’t actively together. There weren’t any grand declarations of love and devotion. I know the scenes between Angel and Adelita were pretty fire last season, but so were her scenes with Miguel. However, I’m hoping and praying that they didn’t do the do. Adelita cares for Angel. I don’t think Angel could take another heartbreak. 

Unless he’s not heartbroken?  What happened in that time jump?

Happy Happy Not So Joy Joy

Happy Lowman is still hanging around. Turns out, the Sons of Anarchy crew is still dealing guns. Chucky even asks Happy why they’re still in the gun trade, even after Jax wanted them out. All Happy can say is that it’s taking longer than they thought and that “there’s a lot at stake”. Okay.  Whatever THAT means. The start of Season 1 takes place 3 years after the death of Jax Teller. Season 2 starts at least 8 months after THAT, so how much longer is it going to take, Hap? 

While bringing guns to the Mayans, Felipe comes around looking for EZ, to give him a message and not use his phone. However, EZ’s not there, but that gives Happy enough time to recognize him and inquire as to who he is. You see, we know EZ knows that Happy killed his mom. Now Happy knows that not only did he kill the mother of one Mayan, but TWO Mayans. He knows he’s in deep shit now. 

Some thoughts on the episode:

I’m still Team Get EZ Away From The Club Life. 

I’m hoping and praying that Angel is Adelita’s baby daddy. There’s a supposed love triangle between Miguel, Emily, and EZ. We don’t need another between Miguel, Adelita, and Angel. I get it, Miguel is a desired man, but stop making drama where it absolutely isn’t necessary. 

I absolutely adored the shared smiles between Marcus and EZ after EZ saved Marcus’ life. 

Potter knows exactly who Felipe Reyes is and he continues to be just as unsettling as ever. 

There was a Chibs mention, SO THERE SHOULD BE A CHIBS CAMEO. I’D DIE.  

Happy has a paper trail in that mysterious trunk of his of a supposedly random hit from several years ago? That seems pretty sloppy of our guy.  

Mayans MC airs Tuesdays at 10/9c on FX

Sarah’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

[qqueenofhades]

Oh dear 😅 Okay so basically part one was me saying how someone was complaining that Maria's whole character was how perfect she was and how they were upset that we didn't get to know her better, and I said that's kind of the entire point? Especially because Frank even said to David that he only remembers good things, and then part three was me saying that while this is yes the trope of women being used for male development, because it's Frank, the application of this trope is a good one

(part 2) his memories are always of her loving him. we don’t get to know who Maria truly is because we were robbed of that, just like he was. We only see her as how Frank remembers her, and of COURSE she’s gonna be perfect and loving because that’s what frank is choosing to remember (and like what a beautiful thing to be remembered as??)

(part 4) and of course he is going to imagine her as beautiful and perfect and he’s going to keep that memory untouched by his reality because he sees who he has become. I am not going into detail about his children, but I of course recognize that they were also taken from him too, but someone was specifically complaining about Maria’s character and i felt like they missed the whole point? Idk what are your thoughts on this/might you be able to put what i’m trying to say into better words 😂

Well, as noted, I only got two parts of this ask (glares at Tumblr) and despite your many and valiant efforts, parts 1 and 3 never came through on any of your attempts. You have the patience of a saint, so bless you. 

(It turns out I have a lot to say on this topic, so brace yourselves?)

By definition, the “dead wife” trope is going to involve some of this, since it’s still totally standard practice to kill off a woman (mother/daughter/wife, but usually wife) to explain a male character’s motivation, and usually to induce us to support him on his vengeance quest. Most of my trash male favorites have or had a dead wife/similar romantic partner at some point, and a lot of the narrative’s success at convincing us that this is a sympathetic character, regardless of the other violent/angsty/anti-heroic things that he does, rests on selling to us that he truly loved his wife (and vice versa, though we also have the Surprise Evil Now Not Dead Wife glares very very hard at Timeless) and it was a travesty that she was taken from him in an unfair way by people much more evil than him. Since Frank’s entire initial character motivation, for much of his to-date appearance in the modern MCU, rests on getting vengeance (often in spectacular and bloody fashion) for the people who killed his wife and kids, in some sense, yes, that emotional thread is necessary. If we’re going to be like “yeah Frank, shank eight more mobsters!” and continue to see him as someone for whom we have an investment in the positive outcome of his story, he needs to be, in some sense, doing the right thing, however badly or violently. And yes, the Dead Wife and Dead Mother trope for protagonists just… happen a lot. Everywhere.

Next, while fandom is in often many cases predominantly female, it still has a lot, a lot, of internalized misogyny to deal with. Dead wives are viewed suspiciously and as possible obstacles to ships, especially when her widower has moved on to a new canon/onscreen relationship with someone else. By virtue of seeing it develop, viewers are more invested in this one, and when dead wives return for whatever reason, she is often implicitly or explicitly used for ship drama with the current couple (glares at Timeless again). This sets her up to be disliked from the start, since we all know shippers aren’t really the most rational creatures in the world at all times and are eager to look for/invent reasons to dislike a character being outright used to keep their OTP apart. If for some reason Maria DID return to life (not at all likely, if not out of the question in the MCU) I can imagine that she would probably, unfortunately, receive some of the same treatment. This happened a lot in the OUAT fandom, where shippers relentlessly villainized a male character’s past/dead love interest (in this case, Milah, for Captain Hook) because it was somehow felt necessary to make the current ship (CS) more valid if the previous one was discounted. Milah was a complicated character and not one that I particularly personally was invested in, but yeah, we know complicated women get turned into “bitch” or “ship obstacle” PDQ. Here, again, I am obliged to glare at Timeless a third time. And when she and Emma met in canon, it was respectful, they both worked together to save the man they loved, and then Milah got fridged AGAIN, which was pretty rage-inducing even if you didn’t like her all that much. Also, the OUAT fandom was extremely tribal in the shipping regard as it was, so yes.

Now, with the overall commentary on Dead Wives out of the way, onto Maria. As you note, and Frank himself notes, he is an extremely unreliable narrator when it comes to Maria. What we know about her canonically/outside his dreams/nightmare about her is the following:

She was Italian Catholic (probably like him) since her grandmother came over from Sicily, and a good cook;

She met Frank in a park by telling him to play a better song;

She got pregnant with Lisa three months into their relationship and told Frank that he could leave if he wanted, but she was keeping the baby, and instead Frank proposed to her that day;

Frank was absent for the birth of at least one and probably both of their children (“we serve 15-month tours in Afghanistan… you leave, you’ve got a pregnant wife, you come back, the kid’s walking”);

By Frank’s own admission, he sometimes preferred to be overseas with his unit rather than at home with her and the kids, which is probably not a reflection on how happy their relationship was, but the fact that Frank really flat-out enjoys being a soldier and indeed, killing;

Maria could probably be very jealous at times and had a hot temper (as Frank tells Karen in the diner scene in DD 2x11, she could be vicious and put him through the wringer emotionally)

She was close to Billy and viewed him as part of their family;

Frank’s last memory of her is her coming to wake him up on the morning after he returned from his last deployment, which is also the day that she and the kids were killed, because they went to the carousel later and were shot. That is the memory that keeps playing in his nightmares/increasingly deteriorates, with him witnessing her being shot in their bedroom and then by himself (which is of course not what happened).

The one time that memory continues on past her just waking him up, in TP 1x12 when Frank is being tortured by Orange, it’s clear that their relationship has suffered from Frank’s long absences and preference to be overseas/at war, and Maria asks him point-blank where home is, says he’s here but not really here, and wants to know if he is yet again going to be mentally somewhere else.

Anyway, all of that points to the fact that Maria was probably a complex human woman, like most women are, and had mixed feelings about her husband’s addiction to war and violence, even as he was by all accounts a good and loving husband to her and father to their children. Frank himself clearly states that he feels guilty about not paying more attention to them while they were alive, so of course, yes, he has valorised their memory and put them on a pedestal and made them the all-consuming reason for his vengeance. I’d say that part of his motive is to keep punishing himself, as well as the actual killers, over his guilt and regret about what he lost with them – some of it unavoidably, and some of it by his own choices. As he indeed says to David, their relationship was not perfect, because no one’s is, but now he only remembers the nice/good/beautiful parts of it. Which is a fairly understandable response to losing a loved one, especially in a horrific/traumatic way like he did.

And yes, exactly, the tragedy is that we DON’T get to know Maria outside Frank’s highly idealised and increasingly fantasised memories of her. She is dead, and he continues to struggle over and over with that fact, even as there is an awareness that he is starting to move on. He already compared how he feels about another woman (Karen) to how David feels about Sarah (his living/current wife). In some sense, Frank has started to/to some degree already fallen in love with someone else, and the entire end of S1 was him coming to terms with his trauma in some part, having to let Maria go (“come home, Frank” / “I am home”) and figuring out how his life looks now. But he clearly loved her very much, she loved him the same, and he’s willing to burn down the world for her and for their children, so we certainly can’t say that she was anything less than someone he loved with his whole heart and soul and had built a life and family with, with all the problems that go with that. And that should definitely be defended.

[crosbys-guccifloral-crocs]

What Was Once Mine - Part III

AN: sorry for the delay everyone! I hope you enjoy part 3! Without further ado, here it is...

Before you start -- Part I and II -- ALSO: I have absolutely NO ill feelings toward Jeffrey Azoff or who he is as a person. The character bashing and villain created in this story is purely FICTION. Jeff is actually an amazing little bean. 

Warnings: none really -- fluff, angst, mentioned cheating. 

Word Count: 2,474

Previously: “Please, Y/N enough with the small talk. I can’t take it. I miss you, I miss Lennie. This is the most time we’ve spent with one another since she was born 2 months ago. She needs us. I need us. Please, just let me explain, no excuses. And even after all of it, if you still don’t want me, I’ll let you go, just please let me try. Now, let’s go inside and chat, yeah?” Harry asks looking her in the eyes and putting a strand of her beautiful hair behind her ear. 

“Y/N — baby, listen to me, here I am, in front of you trying to tell you tha’ I don’t even remember sleeping with this woman. I don’t know how the panties got in my pocket. I’m not in denial about anything, my love. I truly, truly do not even remember sleeping with anyone. I could say tha’ I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing and tha’ it was a mistake, but I know that none of tha’ will fix what I’ve done. So I stand here today, on what has been one of the greatest days we’ve ever experienced as a family, and I vow to show you that I will change. I need to be better for you and for Lennon. I love yeh, so, so much and I’m sorry tha’ I hurt yeh. But I truly believe tha’ we are stronger than one mistake. Than my mistake.” Harry was begging now, practically on his knees in front of his wife.

“Harry, honey. What you did was nearly unforgivable. I never, ever thought that you of all people would hurt me so badly. And the fact that you did it before our child even got to experience a real family is unfathomable. But you’ve been here for her lately, regardless of our situation. And that’s what matters. I’m happy to continue to be with you when Lennie is involved, but I don’t think we can ever get back to what we were. I’m sorry, Harry. You should probably go. Lennon’s suitcase is packed and waiting by the door. I’ll pick her up Wednesday after work or Gemma will. I’ll let you know as soon as I can.” Y/N says wiping hastily at her teary eyes and kissing her baby goodbye as she turns to leave the room and head upstairs.

“Y/N, love! Wait I—” Harry makes a move to run up the stairs after her but hears a door slam shut.

“Well, little bird, I guess it’s just you and me. Let’s go, love.” Harry says to Lennon as she looks up at her father and chews on her fingers. Clueless to the chaos that is her parents lives.

Meanwhile, upstairs in the master suite of her home, Y/N cries into her knees as she brings them up to her chest in the bathtub. The water from the shower is cascading down her back; the falling water drowning out the sounds of her muffled cries.

“C’mon my love. You’ve got this! One more push and our little bird will be here! You can do it!” Harry encouraged.

“I can’t, H. It hurts too much.”

“Yes you can, baby. Don’t you want to meet our baby girl? She’ll be so lucky to have you as her mummy. I know it.”

Those few words gave Y/N all the encouragement she needed to bring their little love into the world. As the doctor laid the baby on Y/N’s chest, she looked at Harry and saw him looking at her and their daughter with more pride and love than he ever thought possible. No awards or number one singles or albums could ever amount to a moment so breathtaking and incredible as seeing one’s wife birth his first born. She (the baby) was so pure and so good. Being brought into a world that had all recently turned to shit. On what should have been the happiest day of their lives, without question it held an air of misfortune. Knowing that when Y/N and Harry brought their daughter home later that day he would not get to stay. But for that moment, in that hospital room as new parents, they were a family.

“Welcome to the world, Lennon Gemma Styles. We’ve been waiting for you a long time.” Y/N said, crying and she stroked her daughter’s cheek.

Later that day when harry came home from visiting Adam and his children with baby Lennie he noticed a piece of paper wedged in the door of his apartment. With Lennon in her baby Björn on his chest he kissed her head and read the note

H,

There’s something I need to tell you. Meet me at Daunt Books at 5 pm. I’ll be waiting by the stairs.

C.

Huh. “I wonder what this could be about, little bird.” Harry wondered aloud. Checking his watch, he noticed that it was only 3 pm. He still had 2 hours before he had to meet this mystery informant.

“Let’s have a snack, yeah? Are yeh hungry pretty girl?” He smiled at her, unstrapping her from the Björn and walking her into the kitchen.

 *** At the bookstore *** 

“Pssttt. Harry, over here!” He hears a feminine voice whisper. Just then a small dark haired figure emerges from behind the bookstore staircase.

“Cayla? That are you doing here?” Harry asks, dumbfounded.

“H. There’s something you need to know about what happened that night on tour.” Cayla says taking Lennon’s small hand in her own as she stands in front of Harry.

“It was Jeff’s fault, Harry. Not yours. He put E (ecstasy) in your drink that night. Why do you think you couldn’t remember anything the next day? I told myself I wasn’t going to tell you, I would just let it be. But I can’t stand to see your world falling apart.”

“First of all, don’t touch my daughter. And second, why didn’t you come forward months ago when my world was crashing down around me? Huh? I lost everything because of what ‘supposedly’ happened that night! For the last 5 months the love of my life has hated me! And for the last 2 months my baby girl has grown up without both of her parents together! But… how do I know you’re telling the truth? Why would Jeff even do something like that? Also, don’t call me “H” that title is reserved for my wife and family.” Harry seethes, stepping away and shielding his daughter from the woman who has all but ruined his life.

“Jeff isn’t who you think he is, Harry. You can trust me on that. I know I’m likely to be the very last person on this planet that you should trust, but for the sake of your marriage and your daughter, please just hear me out. Jeff planned this for months, Harry. I’m an actress, Jeff spiked your drink at the bar in Toronto that night and told me to convince you that we slept together. He told me that if I didn’t he would ruin my career, so I took you back to your hotel room and placed my panties in your pocket. All we did that night was sleep, I promise you that. I even have the video of him spiking your drink on my phone. Here.” Cayla says, passing Harry her phone.

** In the video **  

**Jeff is seen dropping which, would most likely have been an ecstasy tab into Harry’s gin and cranberry juice while H is off in the distance somewhere. ** “Now, Cayla… here’s the plan, once H drinks this I want you to do whatever you need to in order to get him to leave with you.” Jeff says.

“Why are you doing this Jeff? What has Harry – or his poor wife ever done to you?” Cayla replies.

“He hasn’t done anything – yet. But that bitch, Y/N is ruining his life. She’s always held him back. Being his classic ball and chain. And now, she’s pregnant! Soon enough, he’ll stop touring and maybe even performing altogether, and I’ll be out of a job. But I’m not just doing this for me. I’m saving all of our careers. Mitch’s, Adam’s, Clare’s, Sarah’s and especially Harry’s. Great songs come from painful experiences so just imagine what a divorce and single parenthood could do for Harry’s career. I can just smell a number one album in the works. And don’t think I forgot about you.” Jeff smirks, as he passes Cayla an envelope across the bar. $10,000 in cash.

“You can expect the other half when the job is complete and done to my satisfaction.”

** End vid **

“He sent me the other half of the money when news broke that you and Y/N had separated. I wanted to tell you about it right away, but I had no other way to reach you other than making the trip out here. And I had absolutely no intention of bringing what I had done to the attention of the press. so until I had the money, I couldn’t truly repent for what I’ve done. I don’t want Jeff’s dirty money. So please, please accept my apology. I hope everything works out for you.” Cayla cries, tearing up as she hands Harry a USB drive and an envelope with $20,000 in cash inside.

“Well, I appreciate your apology Cayla. But I’m fairly certain my relationship with my wife is far beyond repair. Unless by some miracle she believes this crazy tale and forgives me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need some air.” Harry nods as he departs up the stairs of the bookshop and down the familiar London streets.

“Hey, Gem, it’s kind of a long story, but could you meet me at my apartment in 20? I need you to watch Len for a bit. I’ll explain everything as best I can when you get here, just please hurry.” Harry says in a breathless panic over the phone.        

“Of course, H. calm down I’m on my way.” Gemma replies.

“H? are you home? I came as soon as I could.” Gemma says calling out into the apartment for her baby brother and niece.

Gemma soon finds Harry holding Lennon to his chest and crying rather heavily.

“Oh, God, H are you ok? Is it Lennon?” Gemma wonders kneeling down in front of Harry.

“N-No, we’re fine, physically… b-but there’s something I need to tell you.” Harry stutters, as he proceeds to tell his sister what happened that fateful night.

* * *

“I – wow, H. this is unbelievable. You need to go to her, now. I’ll watch the princess. Now go get your girl, Har. And we’ll bring that bastard down soon enough.” Gemma responds taking Lennon from Harry so he can stand from the sofa.

“Okay, bye baby girl. Daddy loves you so much. I’ll be back, hopefully with mumma. See you soon.” Harry coos at his baby girl, kissing her forehead as she squirms and sleeps in Gemma’s arms.

*** At Y/N’s house ***

After her bath and therapeutic crying session earlier in the day, Y/N had finally made peace with the fact that her marriage may truly be over, while also pining over what she and Harry once were. But deep down she knew that she never wanted it to end.

Suddenly a faint knock at the front door brought her out of her trance and she peeled her eyes away from her wedding album, making her way down the stairs.

Opening the door to the most welcoming sight she had seen all day – her former knight in shining armour. ��H-hey, H. what are you doing here?” Y/N questions wiping tears from her eyes. Her face soon void of any emotion other than the trail of tears glistening on her puffy red cheeks.  

“Baby, there’s something I really need to tell you. – Wait… have you been crying?” He rebuttals, rubbing a thumb over Y/N’s soft, rosy cheek. “What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing, H, I’m fine, promise. What are you doing here? Where’s little bird?” his wife asks, slightly panicked.

“She’s okay, love. She’s with Gem at the apartment. I had to come alone, quickly. You may want to sit down for what I’m about to tell you.”

“Oh, God. Is it bad? It’s that girl isn’t it? She’s pregnant, isn’t she? Oh, God, I knew it.” Y/N cries breaking down into an even bigger puddle of tears and collapsing into Harry’s chest.

Though extremely mortified by her train of thought, Harry can’t help but let out the tiniest chuckle. “Actually, my love, that’s what I’m here to talk to you about. It’s extremely good news – well, if you could call it that I guess.”

“Wait, what?! You’re happy that you knocked up your mistress?!” Y/N shrieks in horror looking up at Harry’s emerald green eyes.

“No, baby, she’s not pregnant, I promise. Let’s go upstairs and chat shall we?” He suggests, suddenly getting serious as he takes her by the hand and leads her up the stairs to their (well her) bedroom.

Before he begins his explanation of that night his eyes can’t help but drift to the photo album laid out on their bed. On display are two photos representing the two happiest days of his life – his wedding day, and the birth of his little precious princess. He owes every happiness during those days, and every other day for the last 6 years to his beautiful wife. He can only hope that what he reveals to her in the next hour or so will be able to restore that happiness and not only repair, but strengthen their bonds as a couple and a family.

                                                 * * *

“What… ?! But why would Jeff do something so cruel? What did you or I ever do to him?” Y/N asks, clearly baffled by the situation and the video that she had just witnessed. “He ruined everything for us, H! I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry I kept Lennon from you for so long, I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you, baby.” Y/N cries, collapsing into Harry’s arms.

“No, baby, shh. It’s not your fault beautiful. Not even I knew what was real. Now, can we put this all behind us and move on?” Harry smiles, wiping his wife’s tears from her cheeks before looking her in the eyes as if to ask her permission to kiss her.

Y/N nods quickly and stands on her tippy toes to reach her husband’s lips, pulling him into the most passionate kiss that they have shared in over 5 excruciatingly painful months spent apart. Y/N is quick to push her husband down on the bed and straddle him, all without detaching their lips.  

“Mhm, Y/N, baby… wait. As much as I would love to make love to you right now, I think we are both a little bit too vulnerable. Let’s just call Gem and tell her to bring little bird home, yeah? I missed my girls. Can we just spend tonight as a family? I’ve not had both m’girls together for longer than a day before.” H smiles as he says this, looking up at his wife with the purest and loving expression.

“Of course we can, my love. But tomorrow, we make love. After we bring down that smug bastard. Now let’s get our baby over here.” Y/N assures. 

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