#secret third thing jouikaiserarthur real and true btw

[theperksofbeingstupid]

short thing i wrote for johannis where kaiser arthur and joui have a sleepover. set somewhere pre-desconjuração. they sicken me

Arthur's silhouette is lit up by the moonlight filtering through the half closed curtains. He's just standing there, watching Joui.

Does he want his mattress back? Ivete had insisted on moving it out so Joui wouldn't have to sleep on the sofa, not that he minds. But, well, there isn't really saying no to Ivete.

Joui makes as if to get up, lifting the covers from where they're tangled up by his legs, but Arthur moves before he can do much more than sit up.

"Joui," he whispers.

"Arthur? Why are you awake?"

The rustling of Arthur's footsteps is a lot louder than their whispering, and Joui winces when he stubs his toe on the edge of the sofa and lets out a soft curse. Arthur stumbles and collapses on top of Joui's legs, covers and all.

"Are you... okay?"

A muffled grumble is all he gets in response. He finds himself suddenly holding a hand, one that tightens its grip and then begins rubbing circles into his knuckles with a thumb.

Joui sighs and drops his other hand on top of Arthur's head, rustling the hair there, the sides all grown out and soft from the product he loves using. Arthur shoves his head farther into Joui's hand as he continues petting him, and Joui does not laugh at him. Kaiser definitely isn't giving him his enrichment, and if Arthur doesn't get his weekly snuggles both he and Kaiser will find themselves the target of endless moaning and wailing.

It's... nice.

Eventually, though, Joui's legs start to lose circulation and he has to all but shove Arthur off of him.

Cue the expected whining.

"I'm not kicking you out, Arthur," he tries, failing to extricate his hand from Arthur's grip.

"Yes you are! You'll kick me back to my room where I have to sleep on the cold, hard floor. Where I'll freeze. And then you're gonna have to tell Kaiser and Ivete that I died in the morning."

"You're not going to die, Arthur."

"You don't know that!" he sits up suddenly, dragging Joui forward by his hand until their noses are touching. He looks into mismatched eyes, the raised bumps of his scars barely missing blinding him. "What if I'm deathly allergic to not sleeping with you? Are you just gonna let me die like that?"

Joui sputters and pulls back, feeling a blush rise to his face. "Arthur!" he exclaims, "I'm not- You can't- I'm- You- I'm not sleeping with you?" he says, although it comes out much more like a squeak.

"Why not!"

"What?" he whisper yells. This is not happening.

"Am I not handsome enough?"

"No!"

"Is it because I'm not your type?"

"No?"

"So... I am your type?"

"Can you two shut the fuck up," comes a voice from behind both of them.

There stands Kaiser in all his rumpled glory. He's donning a matching set of pyjamas, a pillow dragging behind him on the floor. His hair is a mess, half of it tangled up in a huge knot and the other half pin straight and stuck to his head.

"Language, Kaiser," Joui says, and then it dawns on him that it's three in the morning. "Sorry," he apologises, and he smacks Arthur until he does too.

Kaiser just shrugs and flops over the back of the sofa, face planting with a groan on the cushions.

"That can't be comfortable," Joui glances back at Arthur for backup, but apparently he's taken this as his cue to snuggle up next to Joui on the mattress.

"Arthur!"

"What?" Arthur is blinking up at him sweetly, a smile on his face, cheek smushed up against the pillow. "I'm all comfortable now, surely you can't kick me out."

"There's not enough space!" he mutters, adjusting the sheets around both of them so they're both covered.

"Ehh, blasphemy. We've both slept in worse places," Arthur snuggles up even further, planting his face somewhere near Joui's hip.

Joui's response is interrupted by a long, and very muffled, groan to his right. A glance in Kaiser's direction shows him slowly sliding down the sofa, pillow in hand and hair sticking out every which way.

"Kaiser?"

More groans. He only stops to wriggle and swing his legs over the back of the sofa, landing haphazardly with his arms twisted under him and one of his legs stuck over the arm of the sofa.

"Kaiser, you can't sleep there. I don't want to bother you, if you want I can take th-"

"Stop talking."

Joui slams his mouth shut. Arthur giggles behind him but he's more concerned with the way Kaiser has managed to contort himself. Was he always that flexible?

"I said stop talking, Arthur."

"I'm not even saying anything!" Arthur scrambles back up from his position on the mattress and rests his head on Joui's shoulder. "Get over here already."

Kaiser raises his free hand and flops in Joui's direction, "Tell him to shut up, I'm trying to sleep."

Joui turns to look at Arthur, their noses touching again. "You heard him."

"Nope!" Suddenly Joui is being hauled up by his shirt collar, the blood rushing to his head as Arthur drags him forward. "Not on my watch. No sleeping in positions that'll have you complaining all morning about how your neck hurts. Come on, Joui."

"Come on what?" He follows Arthur up, rounding the back of the sofa and watching as Arthur flings Kaiser's leg into some semblance of order and tugs the pillow out of his hand. The only thing Joui can hear coming from Kaiser is something that sounds suspiciously like a balloon deflating.

"Alright, Joui. All yours," Arthur says, and hugs the pillow to his chest. He stands off to the side, shaking his head disapprovingly as Joui attempts to prod Kaiser into moving.

"Not like that. You gotta-" and then he makes a strange motion with his hand, but all it does is make the pillow dangle sadly from his grip.

Joui tilts his head in confusion, "I have to...?"

"Ykno," Arthur nods, "Just roll him onto the mattress. He's not moving on his own."

More deflating balloon noises from somewhere under a mass of black hair. Kaiser really can hold his breath for an impressive amount of time.

Joui places his hands on Kaiser's back, and then glances back up at Arthur still nodding vigorously. He begins to push, trying to get his hands under Kaiser who is still letting out increasingly more concerning noises as he goes. Eventually Joui manages to tip him over far enough that he slams down on the mattress face first.

Arthur nods once more, before marching over to the mattress and rolling Kaiser onto his back. "C'mon princess, move over."

He places the pillow next to the other one, and tucks both himself and Kaiser under the sheets, looking up expectantly at Joui. They just stole his fricking bed.

Joui watches as Kaiser sighs and opens one eye, glaring at him. "What are you still doing up?"

"I'm- wh- that's my bed!" he sputters.

"Technically," says Arthur, patting the space next to Kaiser invitingly, "It's my bed. Now scoot."

Joui sighs. Loudly. But does end up crawling under the sheets next to Kaiser, pulling them up until they're tucked under his chin.

"Good night, Joui. Good night, Kaiser," Arthur whispers, and then closes his eyes dramatically.

"Good night, Arthur. Good night, Kaiser," Joui whispers.

The only sound that follows is their breathing, slowly syncing up. Joui is almost... almost falling asleep. His thoughts are becoming soup, a puddle of emotions and feelings and ideas tangled up in a knot of nonsense... and then-

"Psst, Kaiser."

He jolts back into consciousness, distinctly aware of the fact that he's wrapped both his arms around one of Kaiser's.

"I'm sleeping," comes a hoarse reply.

"You're literally not."

Joui tries to slip his arm out from under Kaiser's, only for him to be tugged back into position with a huff.

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

Joui closes his eyes and tries to settle back down. It's comfortably warm, and he can hear both Arthur and Kaiser bickering. Safe. Happy.

"What the fuck do you want."

Joui holds back from reprimanding him. If anyone is sleeping it's him now.

"You didn't say good night!"

"Jesus Christ, Arthur."

"You have to say it!"

Kaiser rolls over, pulling Joui's arms with him, and mutters something unintelligible under his breath. "Good night," he finally mutters. And then makes exaggerated snoring noises.

Arthur giggles quietly and shuffles around for a bit before going still.

"I love you guys," Arthur whispers.

"I love you guys, too," responds Joui.

A beat of silence. Two.

"Yeah, yeah. Love you, three. Now go the fuck to sleep."