#secondary air system

[diagnozabam]

Sistemul de aer secundar: Funcționare, Defecțiuni și Diagnosticare

[taevisionceo]

TAEVision 3D Mechanical Design Parts EngineParts Aftermarket @msmotorservice MSMotorservice KS Kolbenschmidt GmbH Pierburg EGR Exhaust Gas Recirculation EGRvalves Secondary-air-valve... ▸ TAEVision Engineering on Pinterest ▸ TAEVision Engineering on Google Photos Exhaust Gas Recirculation (EGR) made easy. EGR is used to reduce harmful emissions from petrol and diesel engines. ▸ EGR Systems... video via Motorservice Group Exhaust Gas Recirculation (EGR) ▸ EGR Systems... via Motorservice Technipedia Fig. 1 - Cooled Exhaust Gas Recirculation

Electric EGR valves ▸ Electric EGR Systems... via Motorservice Technipedia Fig. 2 - Different Electric EGR Valves

Data 190 - Apr 24, 2023

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Magic Systems

Magic - change wrought through unnatural means

Most fantasy can be placed along a spectrum where there are 3 main points: soft magic at one end, hard magic at the other, and a middle ground between the two.

Soft Magic

Magic that is not well-defined for the reader.

Generally, we don’t understand where the magic comes from, who can use it, or what its limitations are.

Readers can see this type of magic being used.

But they can never anticipate when magic will be used in the plot because they can’t begin to guess how it works.

You can’t break a rule if the rules don’t exist!

Most stories that feature this system will have the magic users be secondary characters, allowing them to avoid explaining exactly how the magic works.

It’s also argued that without knowing everything about the magic, it tends to hold more wonder and excitement for readers.

Hard Magic

Has very rigid boundaries.

Readers know where the magic comes from, how it’s used, who uses it, and what its boundaries and limitations are.

We know the limitations of the characters and can understand why they can’t simply magic themselves out of any particular challenge.

Stories with hard magic systems do not need to avoid the main character being a magic-wielder, as they have the capacity to explain to the reader what is going on.

A lot of writers this system because it gives them very explicit guidelines to follow in their plot and creates some more satisfying pay-offs for readers.

The Middle Ground

The meeting point between the soft and hard systems.

We might understand a bit about the way the magic works, but not all our questions are answered.

While most of the content adheres to rules, these rules aren’t fully explored.

This system relies on the reader’s suspension of disbelief.

The main character can be a magic-wielder or not, and it’s up to the writer to determine when magic will be used in terms of plot.

How to Choose a System

You can and should use these guiding principles to build your magic system. Remember that you don’t have to choose one or the other. Your system can draw from aspects of both. Just stay aware of the weaknesses of the path you choose, and ensure you utilize its strengths.

Use a hard magic system if:

You are going to use magic to solve problems

Your audience is accustomed to the tropes of hard magic

You are okay with jumping through hoops to expand your system

Your magic doesn’t convey a theme

Use a soft magic system if:

You want to convey a theme through magic

You want to create a sense of wonder

You want the ability to expand easily

You want to be accessible to a broader audience

Your magic won’t regularly be used to solve problems

Branches of Magic

Like most writing processes, there isn’t really a correct place to begin designing a magic system. A common, and efficient, place to start, however, is by choosing what type of magic system(s) you wish to employ, such as:

Nature-based magic: water, earth, fire, air, and everything in between

Divination magic: see beyond sight and peer through time and space

Conjuring magic: move objects through space over any distance

Psychic magic: master the world of the mind

Life and death magic: tap into the very forces of life, death, and un-death with this surprisingly versatile collection

Animal- or creature-exclusive magic: some creatures just do it better

Magitech systems: the blurring lines of sorcery and science give magic a next-gen, high-tech flair

Eclectic magic: it doesn’t have to be “real” magic to have a real effect

Uncommon magic systems: the unsung heroes of fantasy magic

AALC Method

How to create your own magic system using the AALC (Appearance, Abilities, Limits & Cost) Method

Appearance

What the magic looks like

Makes the world feel more exotic

Can cause problems for characters but cannot solve them

Usually tied to a character arc

Abilities

What the magic does

Points calculated based on magical effect, range, number of people affected, and duration

Characters have a finite amount of fuel (mana) to use abilities

More powerful abilities require more fuel

The fuel does not have to be overt for the audience to understand

If points not overt, cannot solve conflicts unless a cost system is added

Limits

Unlimited uses of magical abilities

Abilities stratified in codified levels defined by their limits

The more the levels' abilities and limits are known by the audience, the more they can be used to solve conflicts

Focused on clever uses of abilities against stronger foes

Cost system can be added to enhance dramatic moments

Cost

Costs must be greater than or equal to abilities to make them dramatically satisfying

Costs can include time, exhaustion, materials, sanity, morality, etc.

Adds dilemma to magic by forcing characters to make choices

The greater the character's sacrifice, the more audience satisfaction at conflict resolution

Each system builds on the previous ones, so that Cost Systems use all four, while Point Systems only care about Abilities and Appearance.

Multiple systems can exist within the same story, and systems can harden over the course of the story.

The Force, for instance, has been a Soft, Point, Level, and Cost System depending on who wrote it at the time.

SOFT SYSTEMS (Appearance Only)

Window Dressing - magic for secondary characters; can instigate conflict but cannot solve it; e.g., Gandalf

Soft Villain - No explanation or upper limits needed; makes villains more powerful to make heroes greater underdogs; e.g., The Emperor

Chosen One - Unknown power keeps hero safe throughout story; can be considered plot armor unless earned through character arc

Sort Hero Incomplete - Curse or positive ability the character cannot control; hero still learning limits of ability at story's end; powers and arc continued in next adventure

Soft Hero Complete - Hero embraces ability to complete arc and solve main conflict; magic must become harder in subsequent adventures

POINT SYSTEMS (Appearance + Abilities)

Points Opaque - Non-explicit reservoir of energy fuels powers; cannot solve main problems without cost option because characters finding hidden energy reserve feels like deus ex machina

Points Hard - Both abiliites and points system must be explicit like in video games; becomes about resource management; easy to understand but takes sense of wonder out of magic

LEVEL SYSTEMS (Appearance + Abilities + Limits)

Soft Level Static - Unchanging power without upper limits; cannot solve conflicts because feels repetitive; power must be used cleverly; e.g., Wolverine's healing factor

Soft Level Advancing - Increased powers or new powers with unknown limits; cannot solve conflicts unless tied to a character arc like Soft Hero Complete, at which point "unlocks" new abilities

Hard Level Static - Unchanging abilities with clear-cut limits; can solve conflicts so long as setup is properly seeded, usually resulting in sacrifice; e.g., Genie

Hard Level Advancing - Well-established abilities with limits; can solve conflicts based upon clever uses of abilities, usually against stronger foes; e.g., Airbender

COST SYSTEMS (Appearance + Abilities + Limits + Cost)

Static Cost - Well-established cost remains consistent for each use of ability; can solve conflicts since based on personal sacrifice

Cost Fluctuating - Costs change based upon dramatic need; costs must be greater than or equal to ability; possible costs include lost time, money, sanity, health, memory, life, morality, etc.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 ⚜ Writing Notes ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs Writing Notes: Magic System ⚜ Fictional Items; Poisons ⚜ Fantasy

[winxanity-ii]

FOXED IN [2/2]

ship: fem!fennec fox!reader x various!beastar warnings: non-explicit ( maybe cursing/profanity; sorry y'all I gotta loose mouth) word count: 4.4k a/n: lolol y'all tell me why it took me like 3 weeks to write just 4k words?? i swear school work got my ass writing like 150 words a day/whenever i can 😭😭 coutning down to christmas break mwah... Part 1

★·.·´🇧‌����‌🇦‌🇸‌🇹‌🇦‌🇷‌🇸‌ 🇲‌🇦‌🇸‌🇹‌🇪‌🇷‌🇱‌🇮‌🇸‌🇹‌`·.·★

You were staring at yourself in the bottom-left corner of the mirror, crouched like you were hiding from your own reflection.

It wasn't like the rest of you had changed. Same face, same skin, same... everything.

Except for those. The ears. And the tail.

You ran your hand over your head for the fifth time in ten minutes, fingertips grazing your human ears where they'd always been, before trailing upward to the new set. Secondary ears, perched high on your head, covered in soft, velvety fur. They flicked lightly at your touch, like they were alive—like they could feel you.

And then there was the tail. You could feel its weight behind you, swishing gently across the floor like it had been there your whole life.

"Calm down, ____. Calm the fuck down," you muttered, your voice tight as your hands dropped into your lap. "You're not a freak. You're just—"

You paused, staring at your reflection. Your tail swished in your peripheral vision, as if taunting you.

"—just... anthropomorphically challenged," you finished, deadpan. "Yeah, no, that doesn't help."

You tilted your head, the new ears moving along with the motion, twitching at the sound of your voice echoing softly off the dorm room walls. Twitching. Like they had their own independent nervous system or something.

"Oh my gods, I'm like a walking FurryCon booth," you hissed under your breath. Your tail wagged again, making a soft thump against the floor. "Cut it out!" you snapped, glaring at it.

The tail stopped, curling slightly like it was offended.

For a moment, you just stared at yourself, breathing slow and deep, trying to will away the rising panic. But the longer you looked, the harder it was to ignore how... not normal this was.

You reached up again, brushing your fingers over the fur. Soft, velvety. Honestly, they felt kinda nice—like luxury pillow material—but that only made it worse.

You could feel the touch through the ears, every stroke and tug sending tingles down your spine, all the way to your toes.

It wasn't bad, exactly, but it wasn't something you were used to, either.

You squinted at your reflection. "Okay. Pros and cons. Pros and cons." You tapped a finger to your chin like you were about to make a PowerPoint presentation to yourself.

"Pro: I didn't, like, fully mutate. Still got my face. I'm still me. Kinda." You gave your reflection a once-over. "Con: I now look like I could be fan-casted into a BTS Hybird AU fic."

Another pause. Your tail thumped lightly again, this time like it was trying to soothe you. Oh, we're friends now? you thought bitterly.

You straightened up from your crouch, squaring your shoulders as you stared yourself down. "I'm still me. This is fine. You're fine, ____. Nobody even knows you're... this."

Except that was a lie, wasn't it? Blond Labrador Boy had seen you.

Your 'cousin' had definitely seen you, tackling you like a rugby player on the street and announcing your new school enrollment to the entire city.

And who knew how many other people were out there, casually walking around with ears and tails like this was a thing?

The thought sent a chill down your spine. Your tail swished again, making another faint thump.

"Oh, so now you're nervous too?" you hissed at it. The tail stopped mid-swish, freezing awkwardly in the air like a guilty child caught red-handed.

You sighed, finally breaking eye contact with your reflection and dropping into the chair beside your bed.

The ears twitched at the sound of faint chatter outside your door, catching snippets of distant conversations you wouldn't have been able to hear before.

It was a weird feeling, hearing things so clearly and intimately.

You groaned, flopping back against the chair. "Great. Super hearing. Now I'm a discount superhero too."

Your gaze flicked to the mirror again, to the reflection of your tail, curled awkwardly around your chair like it didn't know where it was supposed to go. It looked so out of place, just hanging there, like someone had pasted a sticker on a portrait.

"This is fine," you said again, more to convince yourself than anything. You leaned forward, running a hand through your hair and tugging gently at the ears again. They flattened slightly, and you sighed.

"Totally fine," you muttered. "I just need to figure out how the hell I ended up in a whole-ass Disney movie."

You dropped your hand, letting out a shaky breath. Your tail twitched again, brushing against your ankle like it was trying to reassure you. Yeah, sure. That's comforting.

"Okay, think," you said aloud. "I was at the pool. There were kids—too many kids. Somebody's wet-ass croc sent me flying. I hit the water. And now I'm..."

You trailed off, looking at yourself again. The reflection didn't offer answers, just more questions.

"Maybe I hit my head," you tried, your words shaky but gaining confidence as you spoke. "Yeah, that's it. Smacked it real good on the bottom of the pool. This is a concussion thing. Right? This is my brain making stuff up. Any second now, I'm gonna wake up in the shallow end with chlorine in my nose and my baddass nieces and nephews laughing at me."

The tail swished again. Your ears twitched, catching faint noises outside the door—muffled voices, footsteps, distant laughter.

"It's fine, ____," you told yourself, your tone sharper now. "You're gonna figure this out. One step at a time."

That's when you smelled it.

A soft, flowery scent filled your senses; it was faint at first but grew stronger, making your nose twitch involuntarily and your new ears perk up.

Before you could puzzle it out, a knock came at the door.

The voice was muffled but clear enough to make you freeze. Your ears caught the sound of footsteps shuffling just outside, even before the knock—a light, hesitant rhythm that matched the voice perfectly. You blinked, the scent hitting you again. Your tail twitched, matching the rhythm of your thudding heart.

"Uh, ____, your cousin Vox is waiting for you outside the dorms... he said something about beating the lunch rush?"

The voice was soft and kind of awkward, carrying an airy quality to it.

You stared at the door for a moment, your reflection forgotten. "Yeah," you called out, your voice a little higher than you wanted it to be. "I'm... Uh, thank you! I'll be right there."

"You're welcome," the voice replied, followed by the soft shuffle of footsteps retreating, the scent fading with them. You exhaled, realizing you'd been holding your breath.

"Right," you muttered to yourself, standing up and brushing your clothes down like that would somehow help you feel normal. "Pay attention later. Deal with this... whatever this is."

You froze mid-brush, cursing under your breath. "I should've asked how to get outside."

You glanced around your room, biting your lip as you remembered how confusing it had been just getting here. The winding halls and staircases that twisted in ways that didn't quite make sense.

You were pretty sure you'd passed the same painting of a sunflower three times before you finally found the door marked with your room number—901.

In the corner of your eye, you caught sight of your reflection again—this time, ears drooping slightly. You frowned, then made a face at yourself, sticking out your tongue. "Yeah, real helpful," you muttered, shaking your head before deciding to just thug it out and go.

You stepped out of your room, closing the door behind you and taking a deep breath. "Okay. Just... find the exit. How hard can it be?"

As you started walking, you quickly realized you were surrounded by others—just girls. Your eyes flicked around, taking in the different forms.

You remembered your 'cousin' rambling about gender-segregated dorms, so you chalked it up to being in the girls' dorm.

But as you kept walking, something else began to dawn on you. You weren't just surrounded by other girls; you were surrounded by other, like, carnivorous girls. Sharp eyes, pointed ears, and an aura that made the small hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

And they weren't your size. They were big—taller, broader, more imposing. Compared to them, you felt almost comically small; it was rare, only a few times did you spot someone smaller than you.

You glanced nervously at a nearby group chatting against the wall. One of them—a towering girl with long dark, glossy hair—laughed loudly, her sharp teeth catching the light. Another girl, smaller but just as intimidating, flicked a sleek, striped tail that looked distinctly feline.

You swallowed hard, your eyes darting around as you tried not to look too out of place as you walked past.

You barely noticed when you stepped outside, the warm sunlight hitting your face and momentarily distracting you from the strangeness of it all.

The building behind you was large and imposing, with a plaque above the entrance that read: Female Carnivore Dorm.

You blinked up at it, the words sinking in slowly.

Female. Carnivore. Dorm.

As you scanned the area, your eyes landed on a familiar figure standing a little way down the dorm steps. The boy from earlier—the small fox boy, Vox, if you remembered right. He was by himself, his ears perking up as soon as he spotted you.

He beamed, his tail wagging excitedly as he ran over to you, crashing into you with another hug. "I missed you so much, cuz! Can't believe you're really here! This year is gonna be so awesome!!"

He hooked an arm around you, tugging you along before you could even react. "Come on, let's meet up with the guys! We gotta beat the lunch rush!"

You barely managed a grunt in response, your arms pinned awkwardly to your sides. Despite his short stature, he was still taller than you, his enthusiasm making him feel even larger.

As you followed him, or more accurately, were dragged by him, you started noticing the others lounging around.

It was a mixture of herbivorous and carnivorous features. "...and there's a ton of clubs you can join!" your cousin rambled, oblivious to your growing unease. "I can help you pick one out later, but for now, let's just get to lunch before all the good stuff's gone!"

His voice grounded you, if only a little. You focused on his words, nodding absently as your eyes darted around the courtyard. Your stomach twisted uncomfortably, but you didn't have time to dwell on it.

Vox was still tugging you along like it was his life's mission to get you fed.

And his excitement was infectious, even if you were still reeling from everything. You couldn't help but think of your cousin Devon. The thought made your chest tighten, a flicker of warmth amid the chaos.

You hadn't seen Devon in ages—he'd always been the "fun cousin," the one who dragged you into trouble but somehow managed to charm everyone out of getting mad.

It was like the time Devon convinced you to climb a tree for the "best view ever," only to abandon you when the branch cracked. You'd sworn then to never trust his grin again, yet here you were, following another like it without question.

Vox seemingly had the same boundless energy, the same way of dragging you into things without a second thought. And as you trailed behind him, Vox's tail might have been wagging, but it was Devon's mischievous grin you saw every time Vox beamed at you.

Soon, he led you toward a small fountain surrounded by students.

The first to take notice of you two was the blond Labrador boy from earlier. He was standing at the center of a group of guys, and his floppy ears perked up as soon as he spotted you, his golden tail starting to wag in an eager rhythm that matched the bright grin on his face.

"Hey, you're okay!" he called out, stepping forward with an energy that was as disarming as it was sincere. His soft brown eyes met yours, and before you could even react, he reached out and gently patted your head, his hand light but reassuring. "I was worried after what happened earlier. You feeling alright?"

You blinked, struggling to find your words. "Uh, yeah. I'm fine," you mumbled, still processing the overly friendly gesture. His tail wagged faster for a second, his grin widening.

Before you could say more, your attention was pulled to someone else in the group.

A guy who immediately stole your breath. He was tall—easily the tallest person you'd seen all day—with broad shoulders and a relaxed, easy presence.

His dark brown skin contrasted sharply with his shaggy, platinum blonde locs that hung messily over his eyes, giving him an effortlessly cool vibe. His short, floppy ears rested close to his head, twitching slightly as he smiled at you beneath his thick eyebrows.

Everything about him radiated chill, from the slow sway of his tail to his unbothered posture.

He walked over with a casual stride, throwing an arm over the blond Labrador's shoulder. The height difference was almost comical—the Labrador barely reached his chest.

The taller guy chuckled, his voice deep but mellow. "Now what'd ya run off to, Jack?"

The Labrador boy—Jack—turned, laughing sheepishly before glancing back at you and Vox. The taller guy noticed you two as well, his gaze shifting. He smiled, one of his small canines poking out slightly, and leaned down at the waist to give Vox a high five.

"Wassup, Vox?"

Vox grinned, returning the high five with enthusiasm. "Nothin' much, Collot! Just showing my cuz around Cherryton."

He threw his arm around you again, pulling you in closer. Collot's eyes shifted to you, still bent at the waist, and he held his hand out for a handshake.

"Nice to meet ya. Name's Collot," he said, his voice warm.

You hesitated for a second before taking his hand. His grip was firm but not overwhelming, his palm warm against yours. "Uh, nice to meet you too. I'm ____," you replied, giving what you hoped was a confident smile.

Collot straightened up, still towering over you even from a distance. "Cool. Vox's been talking nonstop about ya since he found out you were coming," he said, his smile turning into a friendly grin.

You blinked, glancing at Vox, who just beamed up at you, oblivious to the embarrassment that was creeping up your neck. "Uh, yeah, well... it's my first day," you muttered, trying to laugh it off.

Jack gave you another reassuring smile, his tail wagging slowly behind him. "Don't worry. You'll fit right in." He gestured toward the group of guys behind him. "Come on, let's get you introduced."

Vox wasted no time, tugging you forward as Collot and Jack led the way.

Walking over to the group, a voice chimed up, drawing your attention to a smaller, wiry boy with reddish-brown hair that stuck out at wild angles. His sharp green eyes were quick, darting between you and Vox with a hint of amusement. He leaned slightly forward, his short, pointed ears twitching as if he were constantly on high alert.

"Who's the hottie?" he asked, his grin crooked, his eyes flicking toward Vox teasingly.

Vox's face scrunched in playful annoyance. "Aye, chill out, Durham! That's my cuz, alright?"

Durham snickered, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright, just messing with ya."

Vox turned back to you, rolling his eyes. "That's Durham," he said, gesturing toward the coyote hybrid. Durham gave you a quick, crooked grin, his bushy tail flicking once as if punctuating his easygoing energy.

"Welcome to the chaos," Durham said with a playful lilt, his grin growing wider as he eyed Jack's wagging tail. "Speaking of chaos, you feeling okay after Jack's heroic rescue? His tail's still wagging—might take off soon."

"Hey!" Jack huffed, ears perking up indignantly. Durham's laugh only grew louder, his sharp teeth flashing.

Before you could even register Durham's teasing, another figure stepped into view. He was shorter than the others, with olive-toned skin and messy gray hair streaked with faint spots.

There was something almost wild about his energy. His round ears twitched frequently, and his curled tail swayed behind him like he was barely containing his own excitement. His sharp grin, revealing slightly larger-than-average teeth, was equal parts friendly and mischievous.

"Miguno," Vox said, introducing the spotted hyena hybrid. Miguno gave you a toothy grin, leaning casually against Collot as he waved.

"Good to see someone new around here. Don't mind the chaos—Durham's worse than me," he said, his sharp teeth flashing as his grin grew even wider. Something about his energy was electric, like he thrived on the group's chaos.

"Lies," Durham shot back, but his grin betrayed his amusement.

The rapid-fire introductions had your head spinning. Each name and face blurred together, their personalities hitting you one after another like a whirlwind you couldn't escape.

And then... you saw him.

Lanky and pale, with shaggy bluish-gray hair streaked with cream highlights, the wolf hybrid stood slightly apart from the others. His posture was hunched, his long limbs curling inward as if he were trying to take up less space.

His dark, almond-shaped eyes flickered to the group occasionally, but he mostly kept his gaze low, avoiding their chatter, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve.

His drooping ears twitched faintly, responding to the noise around him, and his long, scruffy tail swayed low, mirroring his awkward demeanor.

Your gaze lingered on him. Something about the way he carried himself felt off—not in a bad way, just... different.

The others were loud, energetic, owning their space. But this one? He was quiet, reserved, like he didn't want to be noticed.

Why does he seem so familiar? you thought, a strange sense of déjà vu bubbling up, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. It was like you'd seen him before, but only in a dream—or maybe in the back of your mind, in some long-buried memory.

"Legoshi," Jack said, nudging the wolf with a friendly grin. "Say hi."

The name hit you like a freight train. Your breath caught as your mind scrambled to make sense of what you were seeing.

Legoshi.

Your heart thudded in your chest as pieces began to click together faster than you could stop them. Carnivores. Cherryton. Jack. Vox. Legoshi.

This can't be real. This can't—

The group's chatter seemed to fade as your pulse roared in your ears.

Am I in fucking Beastars?

☆

☆

Time seemed to blur after that revelation. One moment, you were standing by the fountain, and the next, you found yourself sitting at a lunch table.

The chatter of the cafeteria buzzed around you, the noise overwhelming—students chatting, utensils clinking, chairs scraping against the floor—but it all felt distant, like you were watching a scene play out from behind soundproof glass.

You stared blankly at the plate in front of you, slowly picking at your food—a sad, slightly overcooked egg that seemed to mock you in its mediocrity.

Vox and his friends filled the space around you, their energy bouncing back and forth like a rubber ball in a crowded room. You could hear Collot laughing loudly at something Miguno said, Durham snickering along, while Jack chimed in with his soft-spoken voice. But none of it really registered.

Your mind was too busy running a mile a minute, trying to process the impossibility of your situation.

I'm not a furry, you thought, stabbing a piece of egg with your fork. I mean, sure, I dabbled in a fanfic or two, but this? This is insane.

You glanced around the cafeteria, taking in the sight of students with human bodies but animal features—ears, tails, fur, scales. The way they moved, the way they interacted—it was surreal. 

The low murmur of a nearby conversation caught your ear—too clear, too distinct. A girl with glossy feline ears leaned over her tray, whispering something to her friend. Her tail swayed lazily behind her, the fur shimmering in the sunlight.

It should've been normal—or at least as normal as anything else here—but you couldn't look away.

Before you realized it, her sharp gaze flicked to you, catching your eye for half a second. Her pupils narrowed slightly, and a wave of heat surged up your neck as you quickly averted your gaze, your heart thudding in your chest.

Smooth, you thought bitterly, stabbing at the egg again. Real subtle.

The pressure of trying to seem normal began to creep up your spine, making your ears flick involuntarily. It felt like the entire cafeteria could see you, like every twitch of your tail screamed, "I don't belong here." You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself to blend in.

Beastars is supposed to be set in a world of anthropomorphic animals, you mused, peeking open your eyes to watch the girl turn back to her friend, her feline features utterly unbothered. So what the hell is this?

It was absurd, like something out of a fever dream. And yet, here you were, surrounded by them.

Is this really Beastars?

Your thoughts were interrupted by a gentle nudge. You looked up to see Jack smiling at you, his tail wagging slightly.

"Hey, ____," he said, his voice friendly. "How was your old school? Was it anything like Cherryton?"

You blinked, your fork pausing mid-air. Old school?

Panic clawed at the back of your throat. How were you supposed to answer that? You didn't even know what your supposed background was supposed to be. And Vox was sitting right next to you. If you lied, he could easily call you out.

Before you could stammer out a response, Vox chimed in, saving you from your predicament.

"Oh, she was homeschooled," he said casually, taking a bite of his sandwich. "So she might not be as used to all this social stuff yet, you know?"

You let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding, grateful for Vox's quick thinking. Thank god, you thought. This is perfect. I can roll with that.

You offered a sheepish smile, nodding along, the tiniest smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. "Yeah, it's... a bit overwhelming," you admitted, your voice a bit shaky, trying to sell the homeschooled bit as much as you could.

No need to drag out fake stories about classmates, teachers, or what electives you took back in the "real" world. You could just sit back and let the homeschool excuse handle all the heavy lifting.

In your head, though, the real story was much messier. You weren't homeschooled—far from it. You knew nothing about homeschooling beyond what you read in books and saw on TV; public school had been your playground and battleground.

You'd seen it all: hallway fights over nothing, the chaos of pep rallies, and those awkward group projects where you did 90% of the work.

But here? In this place, wherever the hell this was? Yeah, let's call it a coma. The pool, the slip, the whole "falling into another world" thing? It had all the makings of a good old-fashioned knock to the head.

I'm in a hospital somewhere, you told yourself, hooked up to a machine while a nurse complains about understaffing. This? This is just the brain doing brain shit.

And hey, if this was a dream, then maybe all you had to do was play along until you woke up.

But whatever it was, you decided to roll with it. You didn't have many options.

Homeschool, huh? you thought. I've seen those documentaries—unsocialized weirdos trying to find their way in the world, eating lunch alone because they don't know what the word "lit" means. You snorted softly. I can fake that if I have to.

"Hey, ____." Jack pulled you back to the conversation once again; his golden tail was wagging hard now, almost as if it had a mind of its own.

"Huh?" you asked, blinking at him.

"I said, don't worry about not being good with talking to people. We'll help you out!" His voice was so genuinely optimistic it made your chest tighten.

You were about to reply when a snicker broke the moment.

It came from one of the boys—Durham. His shoulders were shaking as he laughed, pointing lazily in Jack's direction. "By we, he means himself," the coyote said, grinning. "You know how Jack gets. Tail's wagging harder than a windshield wiper in a thunderstorm. Bet he's already got a crush."

The group erupted into laughter, and Jack's face turned a deep shade of red.

"W-What?! No!" Jack stammered, his ears twitching erratically as his tail kept wagging despite his obvious embarrassment. "That's not— I didn't mean it like that!"

Miguno burst into laughter, leaning forward to nudge Jack's shoulder. "Aw, c'mon Jack, don't be shy! We all saw how you were wagging your tail earlier, like a little puppy."

Vox, ever the instigator, patted Jack on the shoulder with a wide, toothy grin. "Yeah, relax, buddy. She's just my cousin. You don't have to marry her."

You nearly choked on your own breath, the absurdity of the situation hitting you like a freight train. "Wait, what?" you managed to say, but your voice was drowned out by more laughter from the group.

Jack covered his face with both hands, muttering something under his breath that you couldn't catch. His tail, however, kept wagging wildly, betraying every bit of his flustered state.

"Alright, alright, chill," you said, holding up a hand to quiet the chaos. "Let the man breathe before he combusts."

Durham and Miguno both chimed in with their own apologies, their expressions a mix of sheepishness and amusement.

"Yeah, our bad," Durham said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "We were just messing around."

Miguno nodded, his tail flicking behind him. "Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, really. Just having a bit of fun."

Jack peeked out from behind his hands, his cheeks still pink, but he managed a sheepish smile. "Thanks," he mumbled, avoiding your gaze.

You raised an eyebrow at him, fighting back a grin, trying to ignore the heat creeping up your own cheeks. "No worries," you said, your voice a little softer.

This whole situation was ridiculous, but at least it was entertaining.

As the laughter died down, Vox leaned toward you, his smile as mischievous as ever. "See? Told you we'd help you fit in. You're already the life of the party."

You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the small smile that crept onto your face.

The group continued chatting, the conversation drifting to topics like classes, clubs, and campus drama. You mostly kept to yourself, occasionally nodding along or giving short answers when prompted.

For a moment, the weirdness of everything—the ears, the tails, the everything—faded into the background.

It was surreal, like something out of a story—but it was real. As real as the egg on your plate.

And for now, you had no choice but to roll with it.

But in the back of your mind, the same thoughts kept circling.

How long am I gonna be here? And how the fuck am I going to survive it?

Whatever this was—dream, coma, or insanity—you'd have to figure it out. But for now, blending in would have to do.

One step at a time, you told yourself. Don't drown...again.

Lego

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hiii, could you write about reader being a support system for Caracalla and Geta? Mainly Geta? Cause Caracalla has his brother and Geta carried the burden of the empire and his brother's illness but who Geta had? 😭

Thanks

Words weren’t needed when you could clearly see the heaviness and exhaustion with Geta’s eyes and how lifeless he seemed as he gazed out to nowhere in particular. It was a sight you saw multiple times whenever you were called upon this late in the night, nights where you could tell the day had taken everything out of Geta in ways you wouldn’t truly understand, yet you could feel deep within your heart that the laurels upon his head weighed so heavily he might as well have the entirety of Rome slowly crushing him.

You knew how much pressure he was under and how tied his hands were with ruling Rome while also caring for Caracalla and his illness, you only knew this because besides from Geta himself you were Caracalla’s secondary support, only for times when he acts against himself if Geta himself was occupied elsewhere. You subconsciously rubbed the now healed scar upon your wrist that seemed to burn with remembrance of Caracalla’s last outburst where Geta was meeting with the senate, if only you had gotten the knife out of his reach in them to prevent your injury, however such an injury didn’t stop you from keeping a strong hold on the emperor as he continued to scream until his lungs gave out and he inevitably collapsed from exhaustion.

Tonight you knew was a heavier one as the air felt thick, felt stifling and borderline suffocating, almost as though with each breath you took you were unable to get back to your lungs like it didn’t belong to you anymore for it was someone else’s. ‘My emperor your eyes weigh heavier tonight than the last.’ You speak softly as you awaited for him to gesture for you to sit by him as per routine, wanting him to have a choice in something for once and to give him the freedom of choice in whether he wanted your company or not.

Geta maybe the emperor but something tells you that most of the time he didn’t feel as though he had any power to wield, for there will always be hushed words in the shadows behind his back praying upon a moment to dethrone him; only to replace him with a better fit as gradual trickles of paranoia and fears of betrayal bleeds into his mind. He was torn between Rome and his brother, yet he was lost and not willing to seek guidance from the very same people who ultimately lead him down the path they needed to be rid of him. Geta couldn’t make clear of his thoughts as they all seem to blur into one incomprehensible mess of chaos and doubt.

His deep brown eyes looked at you from between fingers as they conveyed every ounce of emotion he was feeling as tears silently streamed from them. Yet despite how pathetic he might feel, to you he looked ethereal when he was deep within his emotions and looked like the many sculptures and statues you seen, carefully crafted by gifted hands to be able to be seen as art even when rampant with conflicting emotions. Geta was a young man and right now he wasn’t ruthless or sadistic, he was alone and he was lost amidst all the chaos that happened under his reign, and was silently crying out for someone - maybe the gods- to hear his plea for help and aid.

So the gods sent you as his aid, his support and most trusted confidant that it scared Geta to no end how deep his faith in you was. Everyone else could betray him and yet he’d knew you stood firmly by him and Caracalla, you knew on a level which many didn’t and he couldn’t help that whenever he felt lost or hurt you were the one he’d always call upon, for he’d knew that you didn’t care whether it was day or night you would always be there should he ever need you; and right now he needed you more then ever before for the burden was far to heavy for him to carry alone anymore.

‘My eyes have always been heavy.’ Geta replied. ‘That much we’re both aware.’ he then extended his hand towards you, palm upwards in a silent gesture for you to take into you own, which you did as gently as you could by trailing your fingers across his open palm gingerly -and feeling him slightly stiffen beneath your grazes- before intertwining them between his own as you sat beside him.

‘Your eyes are burdened with so much, yet as much as your souls wishes to yield, you do not and instead push forward.’ You tell him as you squeezed his hand in soft reassurance. ‘My emperor you are human with limitations and that is not something to be ashamed of, it is not something you should consider a fault on your character for being human. Power tends to make people forget often that the person with the most power within their fingertips was just as human, if not more than the rest.’ You added as you watched Geta as his jaw and feel his hand tightly grip your own in response.

‘You are too kind towards a soul like mine, far too kind to have to be scarred as you have.’ Geta says in a low voice as his thumb rubbed over the scar on your wrist, his dark eyes softened and filled with a semblance of guilt but also relief in knowing that despite seeing the worst in his brother, you still stayed by them regardless like a pillar of support for them both. It was something that he had admired in you for a while but wasn’t given the chance to voice how grateful he was for your undivided support and open mindedness when it came to dealing with himself, Caracalla, his illness and having to deal with being the only person that the brothers could rely on.

‘And I wouldn’t change it for anything.’ You reassured him as your other hand rested against his face, stroking away his tears and feeling your heart ache upon seeing the way Geta was quick to burrow his face into your hand, his face relaxing into your touch as the worry lines fade from view; showing you the handsome man beneath the emperor. ‘I will gladly be your pillar to rest upon, a shoulder to wail your ails into should it take the pain off of your soul, as I only wish for you to share the burden with me however you feel for no man should carry a weight heavier then himself alone. Not even yourself my emperor.’

‘Geta, I told you once before to refer me as my name when it is just us, you are more then deserving of such for all you’ve done for me and my brother both, but me in particular for you are a gift given to me by the gods.’ Geta then opens his eyes to look at you in a way that felt admirable and almost worship like that it was enough to leave a wave of warmth overcome you. It was odd to have Geta view you in such a way that you never noticed before, after all you were just someone he and his brother could lean on for emotional support and attention that they both lacked, yet you felt reminded as to why you did what you did in the first place; you wanted to be the respite Geta couldn’t give himself.

‘Apologise Geta I must’ve forgotten in due to proper formalities required when addressing you and your brother.’ You told him but he only weakly waved his hand dismissively.

‘I have no need for your apology when you’ve already proven yourself a trustful person to be allowed the privilege to address me as such. Yet I feee it’s the least I could provide you that could amount to the help you’ve been.’ Geta nuzzles himself back into your hand, eyes tired and body desperate for sleep from everything that had plagued him deeply. His brother was fast asleep from his early outburst in thanks to you and everything with the senate was settled, all the young emperor wanted now was to just live on this moment with you for as long as he could, but your warm presence and kind touches were enough to have him drifting in and out of consciousness.

‘Then if I can be bold and implore that you rest for the night.’ You then say as you could see the fight within him on whether he should stay awake with you or fall into a slumber with the rest of Rome.

‘Then if I may be so bold and suggest that you rest here beside me.’ Geta responded as he gently tugged at your hands, pulling you into his arms with effortless ease before bringing himself to rest against his aching back against the plush bed with the expensive sheets. Normally you would be against such a thing, but with the events that had played out prior only left you tired and equally as desperate to fall into a state of slumber with the rest of Rome.

‘Only for tonight.’ You said in barely above a whisper as you rest your head on his bare chest that peaked through his robe, hearing his heart beat against your ear as his hands rested against your back, rubbing up and down it soothingly and softly.

‘Only for tonight.’ Geta echoed.

This wasn’t the only night you spend sleeping in the same bed as the emperor himself, at least as two separate individuals at least.

[writtenbysprout]

The Quiet Ache | Sam Winchester x reader

Word count: 4.5k+

Pairings: Sam Winchester x reader

tags: pining, yearning, tooth rotting fluff

Prequal to The Heated Confession

The bunker was unusually still, its halls wrapped in a silence that felt heavy yet comforting, like a well-worn blanket on a cold night. The only sounds were the faint hum of the electrical systems and the occasional creak of old pipes—a symphony of small, familiar noises that made the sprawling space feel almost alive.

In the library, the soft glow of a desk lamp spilled over the room, pooling across the scratched wood of the table and the spines of worn books stacked in uneven piles. You were curled up in one of the oversized armchairs, your legs tucked beneath you, a knit blanket draped loosely over your shoulders. A steaming mug of tea sat on the table beside you, wisps of chamomile-scented steam curling lazily into the air, forgotten as you lost yourself in the book balanced on your lap.

Your face was serene, your eyes scanning the pages with an intensity that made the rest of the world fade away. Every so often, your brow would furrow slightly, or the corners of your lips would curve into a faint smile, as if the story had drawn you in so deeply that even your expressions danced along with its rhythm.

Across the room, Sam sat at the long wooden table, his laptop open in front of him. Its faint blue glow illuminated a collection of untouched case files, the cursor blinking in the empty search bar. He was supposed to be working, but his mind had long since wandered.

Leaning back in his chair, arms folded loosely across his chest, he let his gaze settle on you.

You weren’t doing anything remarkable, not in the grand sense. You were simply there, existing, caught up in your own quiet world. But to Sam, it was enough to hold him captive.

The way the soft light cast warm shadows across your face. The way you absently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, only for it to fall loose again. The way the blanket slipped from your shoulder, and you tugged it back into place without looking away from your book.

Sam felt his chest tighten.

For years, the bunker had been a place of practicality—an armory, a fortress, a safe haven built for survival. Comfort had always been secondary, a luxury he barely allowed himself to consider. But tonight, it felt different. Tonight, it felt like home.

And he knew it wasn’t the walls or the quiet that made it so. It was you.

You shifted slightly, adjusting your position in the chair. The blanket rustled faintly, breaking the silence, and for a moment, Sam wondered if you could feel his gaze. But you didn’t look up. Instead, you reached for your mug, fingers curling around the handle as you took a slow sip. The faintest smile touched your lips, as if the tea had brought you some small, private comfort.

Sam exhaled softly, the sound barely audible in the stillness.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, watching you, letting the moment stretch out. It felt fragile, like glass—something that might shatter if he moved too suddenly or spoke too loudly. And yet, he couldn’t look away.

You turned a page in your book, your fingers brushing the edge with an absentminded care, and Sam’s lips quirked into a small, private smile of his own.

If he could, he’d freeze this moment, hold onto it forever. No monsters, no hunts, no danger waiting in the shadows. Just you, wrapped in soft light and quiet, the picture of peace.

Crickets chirped in the grass, their song weaving with the soft rustle of leaves in the cool evening breeze. A campfire crackled in front of you, casting flickering orange light across the clearing.

You were sitting cross-legged on a worn blanket, a mug of cocoa cradled in your hands. The fire’s warmth kissed your skin, but it wasn’t enough to chase away the chill entirely, so you’d wrapped yourself in Sam’s flannel jacket. It was oversized on you, the sleeves rolled up clumsily, but the fabric carried his scent—earthy and clean, with a faint trace of soap.

Sam sat a few feet away, leaning back against a fallen log. His long legs were stretched out toward the fire, his hands resting loosely on his knees. He wasn’t cold—his sturdy jacket and natural warmth saw to that—but he still glanced at you every so often, as if to make sure you weren’t freezing.

The quiet between you wasn’t awkward. It rarely was. Instead, it felt like a shared understanding, a mutual appreciation for the calm that neither of you got to experience often enough.

Sam tilted his head back, gazing at the stars scattered across the sky. Out here, away from the bunker’s endless hum and the glow of artificial light, the constellations were bright and vivid. It was the kind of view he imagined people spent their whole lives chasing.

But his eyes kept drifting back to you.

You were staring into the fire, your face illuminated by its soft glow. Every flicker of the flames seemed to paint you differently—gentle one moment, fierce the next. You tucked your knees up under your chin, holding the mug close as if trying to draw every ounce of warmth from it.

Sam’s chest tightened.

There was something grounding about you, something that made everything else fade away. He could be drowning in the chaos of their life—monsters, hunts, and memories that refused to stay buried—and yet one look at you, one shared moment, was enough to steady him.

Do you know? he wondered, the thought circling back like it always did. Do you know what you do to me?

He noticed it all.

The way you blew gently on the cocoa before taking a sip, your breath visible in the crisp night air. The way you smiled softly, almost to yourself, when the fire popped and sparked like it was trying to impress you. The way his flannel looked on you, too big and comically loose, but somehow perfect.

It wasn’t the first time you’d borrowed something of his. A hoodie when it was cold in the bunker. A pair of gloves when your own had worn thin. He didn’t know if you realized it, but every time you returned them, he found himself hesitating before washing them. There was always a lingering trace of you—your warmth, your scent—and it felt like letting go of something precious.

You shifted, pulling the jacket tighter around yourself, and Sam’s fingers twitched against his knees. He wanted to reach out, to pull you closer to the fire—or closer to him—but he didn’t move. He told himself it was because he didn’t want to break the moment, but deep down, he knew it was fear holding him back.

The fire crackled again, louder this time, and you looked up at him, your eyes catching the light.

“You okay?” you asked, your voice soft but clear in the stillness.

Sam blinked, startled out of his thoughts. “Yeah,” he said quickly, his voice a little rough. “Just… thinking.”

You tilted your head, your gaze curious but not pressing. “Heavy thoughts?”

He shrugged, forcing a small smile. “Not really. Just… stuff.”

You smiled at that, shaking your head as you turned back to the fire. “You’re always thinking about stuff, Sam.”

He chuckled softly, your teasing warming him more than the flames. But as he watched you settle back into the quiet, the thoughts returned, unbidden and insistent.

He imagined nights like this one, but different. A small cabin instead of the open sky. The fire crackling in a stone hearth instead of on a pile of logs. You curled up beside him on a couch, leaning into his side as he draped an arm around you.

The fantasy felt so vivid, so real, that it left a bittersweet ache in his chest. He wanted it. God, he wanted it so badly it hurt. But he couldn’t shake the voice in his head whispering that you deserved better—better than hunts, better than him.

The wind shifted slightly, stirring the fire and sending a few embers spiraling into the air. You leaned forward to poke at the logs with a stick, your brows furrowing in concentration. It was such a simple thing, but Sam felt his heart stumble over itself.

You have no idea.

No idea how deeply he cared. No idea how many times he’d thought about telling you, only to talk himself out of it. No idea how much you’d already become a part of his every dream, every hope, every fragile piece of a future he barely dared to imagine.

Sam’s hands clenched into fists, his nails pressing into his palms. He wanted to tell you, but the words felt too big, too tangled. What if he got it wrong? What if it scared you away?

And yet, as he watched you, bundled in his jacket, bathed in firelight, the ache in his chest grew sharper. He knew he couldn’t keep this to himself forever.

But for now, he let the moment hold its quiet magic.

The Impala’s engine hums beneath them as they barrel down the highway, the late afternoon sun casting a golden glow over the landscape. You’re sitting in the passenger seat, feet propped up on the dash despite Dean’s half-hearted protests, singing along to the blaring classic rock on the radio.

Dean is grinning as he teases you about missing a lyric, and you laugh, throwing your head back as you belt out the next line with dramatic flair. The sound of your voice fills the car, blending with the music, and for a moment, everything feels light—effortless in a way Sam rarely experiences.

Sam sits in the back, pressed against the worn leather, his book open but unread on his lap. His gaze is fixed on you, his eyes tracing the way your hair catches the sunlight, the curve of your lips as you smile, the ease in your movements as you lean toward Dean, teasing him right back.

It hits Sam all at once, the overwhelming sense of just how radiant you are. It’s not just the way you look, though that alone is enough to make his heart stutter. It’s everything—the way your laugh carries through the air, unselfconscious and real; the way you seem to draw Dean out of his gruff exterior, making him join in your silliness despite himself.

Sam knows he should look away, that staring is bound to get him caught, but he can’t help it. It’s like you’ve filled the car with a kind of warmth he can’t pull himself away from.

God, you’re amazing, he thinks, his chest tightening.

You’re talking now, your hands moving animatedly as you recount a story about some mishap from a previous hunt. Dean is laughing along, throwing in his own commentary, but Sam is barely listening. His focus is entirely on you, the way your face lights up when you’re telling a story, the way you gesture with so much energy, as if you’re reliving the moment.

Sam feels a pang in his chest—a mix of admiration, longing, and something heavier. -You have no idea, do you? he thinks, the familiar ache settling in. No idea how much you mean to me.

Dean cracks a joke, and you double over laughing, your hand flying to his arm as if to steady yourself. It’s a simple, innocent gesture, but it sends a jolt through Sam, sharp and unrelenting.

His grip on the book tightens, his knuckles white as he stares at the two of you. He knows he shouldn’t feel this way—jealousy has no place here, not when Dean is his brother and you’re… well, you’re you.

But the sight of you so close to Dean, so at ease with him, feels like a punch to the gut. Not because he doesn’t want you to be happy—you deserve that and so much more—but because he can’t stop wishing it was him.

Sam shifts in his seat, trying to focus on the book in his lap, but the words blur together. All he can think about is you—your laughter, your smile, the way you’ve effortlessly taken up space in his heart without even realizing it.

He knows it’s not fair. He knows he should let it go, should bury these feelings before they get the better of him. But as you glance back over your shoulder, flashing him a quick smile, he feels his resolve crumble.

You deserve more, he thinks, his chest tight with the weight of it. But God, I can’t stop hoping.

When the car finally pulls into the motel parking lot, Sam is the first to climb out. He mumbles something about needing air, avoiding your gaze as he grabs his bag and heads inside.

You watch him go, your smile fading slightly as you exchange a confused glance with Dean. “What’s with him?” you ask, but Dean just shrugs, chalking it up to Sam being Sam.

But Sam doesn’t head to the room. Instead, he stops just outside, leaning against the wall and staring up at the darkening sky. His heart feels like it’s caught in a vise, and for the first time, he wonders if he’s in too deep.

Because no matter how hard he tries, no matter how much he tells himself to let it go, he can’t stop looking at you like you’re the sun.

The diner is quiet, a small, worn-down place nestled between the endless stretches of empty roads and forest. The neon sign flickers slightly above the entrance, casting a soft glow over the worn booths and cracked linoleum floor. Sam and Dean sit in one of those booths, their plates half-finished, the clatter of cutlery and the hum of conversation surrounding them.

But Sam isn’t really paying attention to any of that. His eyes are on you.

You’re walking toward the counter, your steps steady and confident, the soft sway of your hair against your back with each motion. The dim lighting catches the edges of your features—sharp cheekbones, a smile that easily lights up the room—and Sam watches, transfixed.

You order coffee and a piece of pie with an effortless charm, your voice smooth and easy as you exchange a few words with the waitress. You laugh softly at something she says, your expression warm, and Sam feels a tug in his chest.

It’s not just how you look, or how effortlessly you seem to light up the room. It’s everything—your kindness, the way you carry yourself, the quiet way you exist in a world that often feels dark and chaotic.

And Sam can’t help but think how nice it would’ve been if just this moment belonged to the two of you. Alone.

He imagines a different scenario—the two of you seated across from each other in a quiet, tucked-away corner of the diner, away from the clatter of silverware and the distant sounds of other patrons. Just the two of you, a comfortable silence between bites, or soft laughter over a shared joke.

No looming hunts. No looming danger. Just peace.

Sam’s heart twists a little at the thought, and it surprises him. He’s so used to burying emotions under the weight of their world—dealing with demons, hunting monsters, the constant sense of loss. But watching you now, in a simple, mundane moment, feels like a stark contrast to all of that.

You return to the booth, a playful grin tugging at your lips as you slide into the seat across from Sam. “What?” you ask softly, noticing his gaze lingering on you.

He clears his throat, shaking his head slightly. “Nothing.” His voice is low, but it’s not convincing.

You raise an eyebrow, a knowing smile on your face. “You were watching me.”

He pauses, then gives a half-smile in return. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I was.”

There’s a comfortable silence between you for a moment. Dean is off in his own world, too busy grumbling about bad pie and worse coffee to pay attention to the conversation. But Sam can’t focus on that right now.

His mind is too occupied with you.

Sam takes a slow sip of his coffee, his thoughts drifting again. He wonders what it would’ve been like if you were sitting closer—your hands brushing against his, the small gestures that don’t seem significant in other circumstances but feel impossibly intimate in this quiet diner.

“You know,” you start, breaking the silence gently, “this actually isn’t the worst place in the world.”

Sam hums in agreement, offering a faint smile. “It’s not terrible.”

“I mean, for a diner,” you continue, tapping your fingers against the edge of your mug. “It’s kind of charming in a... retro way.”

Sam chuckles softly, the sound low and warm. “Yeah, I guess so.”

The conversation lulls again, but this time it’s different. Sam isn’t just listening. He’s thinking—thinking about how easy it is to talk to you, how effortless these small moments feel. And it’s that realization that tugs at his heart the most.

“You look good here,” Sam says suddenly, the words slipping out before he can overthink them.

Your eyes meet his, a small smile playing on your lips. “Thanks,” you reply softly, but there’s something lingering in your expression—something like understanding.

Sam reaches for his fork again, picking at his food mindlessly. His thoughts spiral into the possibility—the what-ifs. What if this was the life he could’ve had? One without hunts, without constant danger, where you could hold hands at a table like this and not worry about what’s waiting around the next corner.

It’s a dream, one he knows he might never have, but for this moment, at least, he lets himself wish.

Because watching you now, even in the simplicity of a diner visit, feels like something worth holding onto—something worth dreaming about.

The bunker is quiet, the kind of stillness that settles in after a long day. The hum of the fluorescent lights overhead is muted, blending with the soft rustle of pages being turned and the faint clink of your spoon against the ceramic of your tea mug.

You’re curled up in that oversized armchair in the corner of the library again, the warm glow of a single lamp casting a soft light over you. A knit blanket is draped over your shoulders, its edges trailing down to cover your legs. Your chamomile tea sits on the small table beside you, a thin wisp of steam rising from the cup.

Just like the first time he noticed you, really noticed you.

Sam is across the room, seated at one of the long wooden tables with his laptop open. He’s supposed to be researching—digging into lore for the latest case, finding answers that could mean life or death. But the words on the screen blur together, meaningless, as his focus strays again.

To you.

He watches as you shift slightly in the chair, pulling the blanket tighter around you, your brow furrowing in concentration as you read. You reach for your tea, lifting it to your lips, and take a slow sip, your eyes never leaving the page. It’s such a small, mundane moment, but to Sam, it feels like everything.

The corner of your mouth quirks upward in a faint smile, as if something in the story has amused you. The sight tugs at something deep in Sam’s chest, and he feels his breath catch.

He doesn’t understand how you do this to him—how you can just sit there, completely unaware of the effect you have on him, and yet somehow command his entire world.

You’re not trying to be captivating. You’re just… you. And that’s what undoes him the most.

Sam’s fingers hover over the keyboard, but he doesn’t type. His mind is too full—spiraling with thoughts he can’t quite quiet.

He notices everything: the way the soft lamplight makes your skin glow, the way your hair falls in loose strands that you absently brush back every few minutes, the way your lips part slightly as you lose yourself in the story.

It’s in moments like this that Sam feels the full weight of his emotions, the way they’ve grown and taken root without his permission. He’s always admired you, always been drawn to the warmth you bring into the bunker, into his life. But now it’s more than that—so much more.

And that terrifies him.

What if he’s wrong? What if the way you smile at him, the way you tease him, the way you care for him doesn’t mean what he thinks it means? What if he tells you how he feels and it shatters the delicate balance of your friendship?

The thought alone is enough to make his chest tighten, to make him want to bury these feelings even deeper.

But then he looks at you again, and the ache in his chest returns—stronger, sharper, impossible to ignore.

For a moment, he lets himself imagine.

He pictures waking up to mornings like this, only softer—your hair tousled from sleep, your face peaceful as you lie beside him. He imagines you in the kitchen together, teasing him about his ridiculous health smoothies while you make coffee, stealing bites of each other’s breakfasts and laughing when Dean grumbles about the noise.

He thinks about the nights you’d spend curled up together, your head on his shoulder as you watch a movie, your fingers intertwined with his as the weight of the world fades away for a little while.

It’s a life he’s never let himself want—never let himself believe he could have. But now, with you so close and yet so far, he can’t stop the longing from creeping in.

You shift in the chair again, pulling your knees up under the blanket, and glance up briefly. Your eyes meet his, and you smile—soft, warm, utterly disarming.

“What?” you ask, your voice cutting through the silence like a melody.

Sam blinks, caught off guard. “Nothing,” he says quickly, his voice lower than he intended.

You tilt your head slightly, studying him for a moment, and then shrug, your attention returning to your book.

But Sam doesn’t move. He leans forward, his elbows resting on the table, and lets out a slow breath.

The realization settles over him, heavy and undeniable: he’s in love with you.

It’s not a fleeting crush or a passing admiration. It’s deep, rooted in every quiet moment, every shared laugh, every time you’ve looked at him like he mattered in a way he never thought he could.

And as much as it terrifies him—as much as the fear of losing you grips him—he knows he can’t keep this to himself forever.

For now, though, he lets the moment stretch on, savoring the quiet, the comfort of your presence, and the fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, you feel it too.

[willowed-wisp]

to the winter wedding (part two) [ ghost ]

part one

Growing up you had fated encounters with Simon Riley that would continue into your adulthood. You a combat medic and him, the one you ended up treating.

“Mum, I look like a dusty grape… I can’t go to that wedding looking like THIS!” The dress was sleek, as you hoped. However, it made you wholly self-conscious. It was just a spaghetti dress, long line lilac dress. But you hated yourself in it.

Though your mother objected, “You are ridiculous… you look better than I ever did in it. And besides, it’s not about you… Beth is the bride, you’re a guest…” That was what you needed to hear, it wasn’t about you. People weren’t going to be looking at you…

Everybody but Simon Riley…

You would be fine…. That was until you sat outside of the venue in your car, stalling to enter the church. Why did you feel like that? Simon wouldn’t even look at you like that, he would have made a move on you years ago if he intended to.

So taking a deep breath, hands leaving the wheel of your car. You left the vehicle, locking on the key. At just the right moment for the air to be knocked out of your date; your hair down and long lilac dress that matched his tie down to the fabric. His tawny eyes wide- more expressive than you’d witnessed previously, “Fuckin’ hell…”

That concerned you, “Does it look horrible? I told my mum I didn’t look good…”

He remained gobsmacked, “You’ve got nothing to worry about…” His arm looped, hooking your arm through.

Butterflies constant in your stomach that night: eyes on you and Simon arm in arm and managing to catch the bouquet- looking instinctively at your date. Wishing alcohol was in your system, unable to shake that overwhelming weight on your chest. Worsening when his hulking frame stood in front of you, “Need some air, ya comin’?” Nodding, passing the bouquet to a random bridesmaid. Following the man who stood out like a sore thumb to outside of the secondary venue.

Without hesitation, he brought his lips to yours; seeing if you tasted how he imagined. It’s all he had thought about the entire night… many nights… flutters in your middle were numbing. The slightest smile drawn on his lips while you were sure his hands, rested at your waistline were there to stabilise.

One intended peck turned into a series of kisses. Your eyes finally opened, meeting those of molten russet. His lips ghosted over your own, barely there but that warmth mixed with his laboured breathing. "Please say this isn't a dream..." Your breath tickled against him.

His eyes spoke numerous emotions; shock, longing, gratitude and adoration. Your breathing slowed while his heart beat grew furious under trembling fingertips. "I'm right here, Y/N… want t’ go to my place?”

Crashing against his front door, his mother still present at the reception while Simon’s tongue was down your throat. Breaking apart from you, “I’ve waited too long to do this…”

Whipping off the jacket from his structured arms, “You have no idea,” claiming him in a starved kiss. Your fingers in his thick hair, his hands spreading your legs.

His cheek to yours- a whisper in your ear, “Jump, love,” Hooking your legs around his waist; a groan slipped from your throat each step he took up the stairs. He could imagine why, not able to restrain himself with your legs draped around him- grinding against the tent in his trousers. An ache in you building by the second, no alcohol in your system. It was pure desire and fuck did you need him.

Your body caught air for the slightest moment, body on top of neatly made bedsheets, the moonlight loomed through the curtains. "You’ve been driving me crazy, Y/N…" Your name rolled so easily off of his tongue- wondering what other uses he had with it. The shirt that hung on his shoulders found its position at the base of the bed, before the weight on the bed shifted- Simon’s frame shadowed your fully-clothed body. His mouth tickled your neck until that sweet singe of pain, your head coaxed onto the pillows of the bed. Breath hitching every nip he took.

Unable to take action, as he was in full control. Pinning your hands with such delicacy to either side of your head as he laid waste to your arching neck; acute snappy breaths each graze of his teeth. Simon worked down the length of body- across the dress just leaving delicate pecks. All a euphoric blur.

Before you knew it he was hilted in you, every duty and purpose you had ever burdened put on the back burners. This was you and Simon, not the frontlines of a war. Shared breaths of laboured passion the only thing lingering in the world. Your head fuzzy with desire, nails scraping along his scarred, muscular back. A moan strangulated as his back dipped, hand coiling further and forceful in your hair. “Simon…” Fallen from your full lips, tickling the hair curved at his ear. The man kissed your temple.

His name fell from your lips again, shouting da curse. Scrapes along the blades of his shoulders and fingernails indented his neck while he took care of your bare chest and clavicle- love bites scattered north to south of your pretty body, just as your back arched before his eyes.

You weren’t thinking- the only thing you knew was his name, ripping a spasm through your core. An insatiable grumble from Simon- so light in the air, not like his usual rough tone.

Blood drawn from his neck, your grip like a vice back lifting off the bed. Simon’s cock lburied all the deeper, and your voice was crying out. Vision clouded in the bright haze by his chest then how he chewed at his lip slamming his hips into you, a sight enough to quiver at; dripped in sweat and flopping hair stuck to his forehead. His lips agape towering you. All but a glimpse as he devoured, a warm wave of salted sweetness.

It did little to smother the noise, it just made that craving for him peak- perched in his lap all while he throttled upward. Arms slack over the broad set of shoulders, left panting into his soft neck. Avoiding the fresh scars you had treated, so mindful of them even in the throes of sex.

Worlds apart to what you’d been used to. Nobody had fucked you out like this man, how could someone be so abrasive but so forgiving in the same moment.

You had never such peace, in a vintage dress on the naked lap of Simon Riley. His arms holding you close while sharing a fairytale kiss, holding his shaven jawline.

Resting at the side of him, rubbing circles onto his defined chest. Following old stab wounds, Simon’s nose buried in your messily clad hair, “Have you ever wanted to get married?”

You were caught in a daydream, “Well… I’ve never met the right guy. Never had luck with that,” You turned to look into those gorgeous eyes, “Have you?”

His face unreadable, though his hand rested around you, “I’m 25 and I’ve been in love with this one woman…” His warmth was scalding, or it might have been the jealousy running through your veins. Until the pin dropped.

“You don’t mean…” That knowing look intent on his smirking face, “You mean me?”

Fingers twirling in your hair, “You looked at me like there was something worth looking at… every time you ran into me…” His scarred, much larger hand fitted around yours- lacing his fingers. “You also saved my life, so that goes a long way…”

You were rendered speechless, at ease in the silence while in the safety of Simon’s body. “Don’t let me go… please…”

“Like I ever could…”

And he never did.

Stood in that same church a year later, this time you wore white and Simon in his military formals.

————

I hope I did a good job on this… and thank you for reading xx

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cod m.list | request guidelines | ghost m.list

[fanaticsnail]

Shameless: 1/3

Masterlist Here

Word Count: 5,285

(Image Source)

Synopsis: You have a type, one that has been forcefully revealed by your crewmen's incessant nagging. After being ordered to return to your workshop to receive further instruction, you become fully aware of why you have been hidden away from meeting with the captain of the Victoria Punk. He was exactly your type.

Notes: This is my first time writing for Eustass Kid. It was meant to be a one-shot, but it quickly got out of hand very fast. Looks like a two or three parter. afab!reader - but can be read as gn.

Themes: senseless flirting, mature themes, NSFW language, choking, vulgarity, promiscuity, shamelessness, heart-pirate!reader x captain!Eustass Kid, this reader is a perpetual and shameless flirt, heart pirates x reader, partial zoro x reader, platonic law x reader.

Tag List: @sordidmusings @feral-artistry @writingmysanity @gingernut1314 @cinnbar-bun @since-im-already-here

Song Suggestion: It's Cuffing Season - Dj Rehan, JW Velly

Within the rotund chasm of the crew dining quarters rung a loud and rambunctious melody. The sway of your hips and the lyrics falling from your smiling lips alongside Shachi and Penguin had the mood of the hour joyful and merry. The speakers ignited with the crackle of the powerful ballad screaming over the powered mounted system bordering the ceiling. You swayed your body with Ikkaku’s, your lips relaying the lyrics to the rambunctious melody with a suggestive smile, a smile mirrored by her own elevating to her lips.

These were the cool-down hours: where the Heart-Pirate crew were able to complete tasks they had set aside, or wind down after a hard day's work of following Captain Law’s orders aboard the Polar Tang. Despite his tired and lackluster expression constantly painted across his exhausted face, your captain, Trafalgar D Water-Law, encouraged his entire crew to engage in some lesser restraint as they quiet down before the changeover in shift. 

Law was yet to join in on the celebrations, opting to remain behind in his office for reasons you were yet to become privy to. Although he never allowed himself to truly let go and sway his hips, cry tactless lyrics into the air; he truly enjoyed witnessing the crew join together like this. There were only a few songs he would ever mutter the lyrics along to, most of which were harder in musicality, angst-driven in their choruses, and distorted in tonality. Yet, he would always have a soft smile elevated on his lips when the few of you would gyrate, sway, sing and scream alongside the music over the speakers. 

As Shachi drew a stainless steel whisk up to his lips and began to shout the lyrics into the crossed tip, the music cut out from its place within the electrical power system. In its stead, Captain Trafalgar Law’s voice dictated a few short and curt orders. 

“All hands above deck. Repeat, all hands to the deck. Prepare the Polar Tang to be boarded for a Nakama encounter,” you snapped to the direction of the speaker, Ikkaku’s dancing movements halting beside yours as you listened for further instruction over the system. As no further orders fell from the mechanical mesh, you readjusted your fallen zipper of your white, boiler jumpsuit and spring into action.

“Ohh, a crew boarding? I hope it’s the Straw-Hats! I want to see that little reindeer again,” Bepo noted politely, the thump of his heavy feet stomping along the iron floor beside your smaller steps almost comical. 

“Oh, the crew with the green-haired swordsman coming aboard again?” You asked him, brow quirking and smirk rising at the corner of your lips. Ikkaku laughed at your comment, clapping you on the shoulder and walking with Shachi and Penguin in tow behind you. 

“The one that was almost your type?” Ikkaku’s smile quirked up at Shachi’s question, his arm hooking over your neck as he spoke down into your ear. 

“But not quite, remember?” You giggled at him, playfully extending the sharp secondary knuckle of your index finger into his ribcage, his breath huffing out a hasty exhale at the jolt. Ikkaku and Penguin laughed at Shachi’s wince of pain, his laughter also rising with his crewmates’ and your own. 

Amongst the Heart-Pirates, the crew were not unaccustomed to your unrestrained flirting with them. From your close proximity, to the brush of your fingertips, to a warm embrace offered from your arms, to you lounging against them in the quiet hours. But most of all, your vulgar and unwithheld language going far enough to make the most hardened members of the Heart-Pirates’ cheeks tint crimson. 

It was a game to you, keeping things lively and interesting aboard your ship as you served alongside them as Law’s chief tinkerer. Nothing ever came of the suggestive conversations and provocative language you offered aside from a friendly kiss, alongside the words, “Sorry, love. You’re not my type.” 

As your feet met with the grated bars of the steel steps leading to the deck, Law’s voice cut over the speakers once more to address the crew.

“All hands to the deck, aside from my tinkerer. Go to your workshop and await further instruction,” the distorted crack of his voice did very little to mask the disdain in his voice. There was something bothering your captain - such a bother depicted in his bored and aloof tone. The harbor which anchored such a dirge-like expression which you had very little explanation for. That was, until, the snickering beside you hissed through the smiling teeth of the three human crew members beside you. 

“What’s so funny?” you spat, shimmying from the crook of Shachi’s arm and facing the four of them with your hands on your hips. 

“Oh, nothing,” Ikkaku giggled before sucking her lips into her mouth to stifle more of her laughter from freely falling from between them. You glanced between the other three, all raising their hands in defense to your pointed gaze. 

“Alright, keep your damn secrets to yourselves,” you scoffed, turning your nose up in the air at them before snuggling into Bepo, who eagerly returned your brief embrace, “I’ll see you after the Nakama meet up, I suppose.” They bid their farewells to you, snickering and giggling as they exited the iron hatch of the Polar Tang to rise above decks. 

After sculking the halls down the long and lonely corridors to your office, you were shocked at the sight greeting you upon opening the large door. Although he depicted further instruction was awaiting you, you were anticipating private instruction to be carried through your personal Den-Den-Mushi rather than meeting with your Captain himself. 

Captain Law was sitting at your desk, his ankles hooked on top of your workbench with his hands laced behind his head, cradling his neck. He lazily glanced through the corner of his eyes at you before slowly unlacing his ankles and rising to his feet. His fingertips clasped his impressive sword, the smoothness of his scabbard reflected in the dim light of your office. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Cap? Shouldn’t you be-?” you began, your words halted immediately by Law’s response.

“-Cut the shit, Tink,” your titled nickname falling in lieu of your real name or formal title from Law’s lips. You relaxed your shoulder against the doorframe, folding your arms across your chest while pursing your lips. You tapped your index finger on your bicep while you awaited further direction from the man in front of you. 

With an exasperated sigh, he elevated his slender, tattooed, fingers to his brow and pinched the center between his index and thumb. He huffed a final growl before he bore his honeyed eyes into your awaiting features. 

“It seems I will be unable to keep you distracted for the entire time they’ll be here this time,” he muttered to himself in a voice almost impossible for you to catch. You furrowed your brows, opening your mouth to question him further. He halted your words by removing his fingers from his brow to face his palm out to you.

“I am going to say this one time, and one time only,” he continued to hold his intense and stern gaze into your eyes, “Don’t.” 

“‘Don’t’ what, Law? What are you talking about-?” you began, halted again by Law’s dictation once again.

“-Just...” Law turned his face slightly away from you, “...-Just don’t, okay? I know you, I know what you’re like, and I’m just letting you know now, and know once. Don’t.”

You were unable to form an adequate response before he stormed out of your workshop and wordlessly gestured for you to follow behind him above deck with his index finger, a hooked motion calling to you. Your captain’s words swirled in your head, your eyes locking on to his neck and tracing his skin with your inquisitive gaze. 

-

Your relationship with your captain was as close a friendship as you could ever muster with such a person. He sought out your skills as a tinkerer, your reputation preceding you when you demonstrated your skilled hands to him. You both bonded over unique collections, his coins and comics, your rocks and pinned insect and arachnid display. Both having a unique place to relay information about your special and unique interests with one another was sacred, and so incredibly special to the both of you.

Where Law and you differed was in how you chose to display your humors: Law holding his hand close to his chest before he truly displays how unhinged his humor was with dark commentary, whereas you were a perpetual flirt with provocative language and sultry advances. You both held each other in a professional standing, before your words took a turn for requited flirtation. Law would reciprocate your vulgarity, and you would mirror back that darkness he expressed, if ever your conversations became flirtatious and humorous with him. 

And that is where, like the others, you ended the flirtatious rapport with a simple utterance of: “Forgive me, Cap. You’re not my type,” which threw the captain and crew into an uproar of outrageous laughter. Speculating on what exactly your type was, you finally gave into their incessant interrogation after being offered your fifth drink for the evening from the hands of Shachi. 

“Fine,” you spat, your arm swaying as you handled your filled pint, “I like them big. And I truly mean big. Like, throw me over the shoulder big. Like, ‘will it fit’ big. Especially if they’ve got that feral twinkle in their eyes that looks at you like they’d want to kill you,” you confessed, your voice swooning at the thought. After taking a heaping gulp from your drink, you added, “You’re all very beautiful, handsome, and spectacular. But, I just need someone who looks like they could lovingly and desperately break me in half. Bonus points if they’re good with machines, so we can bond.”

After coming down from your whimsical confession, you glanced at the crew. Bepo’s ears were covered by both Shachi and Penguin’s hands - all three of their jaws comically slackened. Law’s teeth were clenched in an awkward, cringe-like, straightened smile with lazy, half-hooded eyes. Ikkaku’s cheeks were tinted red with the elevated hue of rushed blood, her lips broken into a wide grin with her eyes twinkling at the confession. 

All of these things were true. You were a person of refined taste, a taste which seemed scarce to come by with the crew you had found yourself working beside. There was Jean Bart, but he was not overly interested in tending to a relationship with you. There was Uni, but your interests fell short when he only depicted gentleness and kindness towards you in lieu of your craving for something more brutal. 

Both men remained high spirited and friendly with you despite your attempt at a fling with them falling through. You needed something more. Something more unhinged. Something a little unpredictable, feral and dangerous. 

-

As Law led you above deck, the voice of Jean Bart called for all crew to fall in line to welcome the Nakama crew above deck. Without looking up, you hastily drew yourself between Penguin and Ikkaku, Shachi on the other side of Penguin and Bepo beside Ikkaku as you all stood alert with your arms by your sides.

“At ease, Heart-Pirates,” Law commanded, shooting you one more pointed and narrow-eyed look before turning back to speak with the foreign captains and their crews. It seemed two crews had joined the deck of the Polar Tang: The Straw-Hat Pirates alongside another crew you did not recognise. You quickly examined the First-Mate of the Straw-Hat crew, who met your eyes with a small smirk before returning back to fix his gaze on his captain alongside his crew. 

Zoro was almost your type. A night you shared with one another, being evidence enough to your crew, that you had nearly found someone you deemed feral and hulking enough to share in your company. When your lips met his: his actions were closer to timid and gentle as they joined with yours. The fires of passion were there, the small amount of danger also present, but he was still not your type. He was handsome, sure enough. He was aggressive, absolutely. He reciprocated your flirtations with a small elevation of flush tinting his cheeks a warm hue of pink, which you found endearing. 

The night concluded with a few deepened kisses, roaming touches from your hands holding each other firmly beneath the stars aboard the Sunny. However, nothing further ever came between the two of you. After that night, the you both remained quite good friends and shared in each other's company, with unhinged and illicit conversation, each time Law met with his captain. He kept pace with you when you drank, spurting dark vulgarity subtly into your ear at the dining table when your crews met; but it was all in good humor and never truly to initiate anything rising further between you. 

A small pull at the corner of your sleeve from Ikkaku broke you away from your reminiscing, your face turning to look at her with your brows knitting in confusion. Her lips were sucked into her mouth, her eyes wide in excitement as she bore her gaze directly ahead. 

“What’s wrong with you?” your hushed whisper growled at her. She removed her grip on your sleeve and raised her hand to your chin, turning your head without pulling her eyes away from their fixed point in front of her. 

“This is who the Captain was keeping from you. Ever wonder why he’d been working you so hard when we meet up with certain crews? He’s why,” she muttered, her lips still sucked within her lips to stifle her rising joy. You allowed her to turn your jaw ahead, your eyes meeting with a hulking figure of a man with fiery red hair. 

Your jaw fell slack before your lips pulled up into a broad smile as your eyes fixed themselves on him. He was intimidating, he was hulking, and he was big. Your eyes shamelessly raked themselves over his body, halting on his calves, his thighs, his ass, his arm, his metal arm, his broad chest, his grimace, his makeup, his blaster goggles hoisting his untamed locks away from his face-. 

-You hastily drew your eyes back to his left arm, metal in make and incredibly large. It looked heavy, intricate, and mechanical. Your interest deepened at each sway of his arms, flex of his muscles and wind of cogs and bolts within his intricate piece attached to his severed limb. Starstruck, captivated, and interest immediately peaked; you continued to rake your eyes over this foreign man aboard the Polar Tang. 

“O-Oh? Oh m-my-...” you couldn’t find the words to form a cohesive string of sentences, your eyes fixed on his arm as you studied it. His mechanical fingertips were clenching, his grimace splitting his scarred face, and his hair bobbing beneath blaster goggles each time he opened his mouth to speak. 

“I know, right? Law has been trying so desperately to keep you from meeting him,” Ikkaku added, prompting you to hum deeply in interest with your tongue darting out to dampen your bottom lip. 

“That’s your type, then?” Penguin and Shachi uttered in unison, their downturned smiles through gritted teeth cringing through the question. 

“That’s-,” you took a moment to collect your thoughts, swallowing a lump of dry saliva within your mouth, ”-Exactly, my type,” you gasped, nodding as you spoke aloud. 

“And this is why each time we see the Victoria Punk, we have to keep you below deck and distracted,” Ikkaku managed to stutter out through her giggles. You quickly snapped your eyes back to her, your gaze narrowed and accusatory.

“We’ve had him,” you snapped your eyes away from the hulking gentleman to stare at Ikkaku, “On the Polar Tang more than once?” You snapped your eyes from Ikkaku to turn to Penguin on your other side, “And you managed to keep me distracted?” you uttered through gritted teeth. Ikkaku shrugged her shoulders, puffing out her cheeks to halt an uproar of laughter from falling from her lips. 

“Captain’s orders,” Shachi confirmed with a curt nod, stooping out from falling in line to meet his spectacle-covered eyes with yours, “He knows what you’re like, and how you’d react.” He stepped back in line and grunted out a soft cough to clear his throat. 

You turned your eyes back to the redhead, quickly looking over his hulking crew before hardening your resolve and humming deeply. 

“I am-...” you began, raking your eyes back over his body again, “...-I am going to climb him like a tree.” 

Snickers began to fall through the nose of Ikkaku, a small giggle elevating in Penguin’s chest, a huff of air snorting through Shachi’s nose.

“I gotta know what that hand does,” you confessed, your eyes full of wonderment and your tone full of longing desire, “What it feels like. Is it smooth? Does it have different settings? Is it cold? Can he control the pressure? I have to know, for science. I want him-...” you trailed off before dreamily adding: “...-To choke me.” 

More laughter and teeters from your friends around you threatened to break through the seal of their clenched lips, Penguin raising his palm to halt his laughter. 

“Look at his eyes. He’s got so much pent up hate in that twinkle,” you continued, a whimsical sigh exiting your lips, “I hope he’s the type that scowls into your face while he fucks you hard. Or maybe he’s the type to bend you over a desk while he frantically rams himself into you.” 

Ikkaku’s higher pitched whimpered laughter almost broke through her lips, elevating both her hands to clench over the bottom half of her face to stifle her laughter. Penguin was not faring much better, his teeters boiling close to breaking point. Shachi pulled his hat over his eyes in an effort to hide his blush.

“I wonder if all of him is as big, hard and angry as the rest of him,” you hummed, deep in thought. A choked snort threatened to break through Shachi’s nose, Ikkaku held her breath while Penguin cringed behind his palm. 

Zoro immediately drew his eye away from his captain and examined the five of you all huddled together in a line. He focussed on your lips moving, reading the unhinged commentary you were entertaining your crewmen with: noticing your gaze was fixed on Eustass Kid. His smirk immediately broke up his lips, his eyes closing as he huffed out a subtle laugh he disguised with a cough. 

“And the scars. Are they sensitive? I wonder if he’d writhe when I lick them,” you spoke with wonderment, “How far do they go down? Is it just his face, neck, arm, and chest - or do they go all the way down his body? I would happily lick, kiss and suck my way down while mapping his flesh beneath my lips. Oooh, I wonder if he’s ticklish.” 

Zoro’s gaze was now fully fixed on your lips, relaying every word of your hushed conversation lowly to Nami standing beside him. She began holding in her own laughter, choking back stifled whimpers while hearing the repetition of your vulgarity from the first-mate beside her. Nami was also a crewmate you enjoyed spending time with when the Nakama meetings drew the Straw-Hats and Heart-Pirate crews together, appreciating how effortlessly you relayed your desires and flirtations to your crewmen. 

“And his face paint. Does it smear when it's coated in sweat and saliva? His face looks like a comfortable place to sit,” you raked your eyes over his face, focussing on his grimacing lips, “He looks like he’d be an aggressive kisser. I wonder if he bites when he eats pu-.”

That was the comment that broke the seal, the three companions by your side finally breaking into an uproar of laughter. The three crews and their captains snapped their attention over to you. You held a look of absolute innocence, your eyes finally meeting with the intimidating presence of the feral, redheaded captain. 

His intense rage directed at you had you swooning, your knees buckling and your breath sighing at him. Heat flushed your cheeks the longer your eyes were locked with his. The flutter of your heartbeat and deep sigh departing from your lips perplexed him, depicted by the rage-riddled confusion knitting his brows together deeper.

Without warning with a few quick strides, your captain strutted over to your position among your crewmates.

“Tinkerer,” he spat, your body doing little to hide your longing as you desperately attempted to look behind Trafalgar Law to return your gaze to the Nakama behind you, “I said don’t.” 

“Sorry, sir,” you apologized sincerely, snapping your eyes up to his intense gaze,and assuming a more formal position. Your hands were clasped behind your back, your chin elevated in the air and your expression hardened and practiced.

“I just-...” he growled, his eyes clamping shut tightly before reopening, “...It was a suggestion, Tink. Not an order.” He straightened his posture, swirling his neck to relieve it of tension, “At ease, but keep it quiet. Alright?”

“In that case, Cap,” you smiled, relaxing in your stature and beaming a brilliant smile up at him with a shrug, “I am going to test out how loud I can make him roar my name while he fills me full of his hot, sticky cu-.”

“-TINK!” Law scolded you with an exasperated growl, the remainder of the Heart-Pirates bursting into a large, unbridled gaggle of laughter. 

Far enough away to not hear the conversation Law was holding with you, Zoro’s smirk cut his face wider at Law’s roar. A low, rumbled chuckle shook Zoro’s shoulders, alerting Luffy and Eustass Kid of his amusement. 

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Kid’s voice cracked through the air, causing Zoro’s chuckle to halt but his amusement remained. 

“Go ask Cap’n Law’s crew,” Zoro suggested nonchalantly with a shrug. Luffy quirked his head to the side, his wide eyes holding mild curiosity. Nami clapped her hands over her lips and shook her head, while Robin’s knowing smile drew itself up to decorate her face with her humor. 

“Why would I do that?” Kid growled, turning his intense auburn eyes back to the scene befaling Law and his crew. Law turned back to the two captains, a rise of a pink hue dusting his cheeks as he fixed his hat atop his head. 

Behind the tattooed captain, you stood with your brow raised and following your captain’s retreat. He examined you briefly, noting you were holding a hushed conversation with your crewmates behind your captain’s back that had a blush rise to their cheeks, lips curling up into broad smiles, and shoulders quaking in laughter. You were confident, that much was sure. 

As Kid met his eyes with yours, he saw your cocky smirk and half-lidded eyes glancing at him with a beckoning taunt. He watched as you shamelessly raked your eyes over his body, pausing on a few key areas and your lips moving with a smile as you spoke. 

Kid immediately rose to your challenge, striding immediately over with haste and brushing his shoulder heavily past Law’s - who was too late to halt the meeting of an impossible force colliding with an immovable object. Law held out his arm in warning, an action falling short as the hulking figure covered your body in the shroud of his shadow. His presence sucked the very breath from your body, his intense, piercing gaze burned you as you gazed into them. Lips curling back into a snarl, he scrunched his nose alongside his brows. 

“The fuck are you all laughing at?” He roared, his hard gaze stealing the air from within your lungs. He was even more spectacular at his closer proximity, holding you briefly starstruck under his dangerous aura. 

“Aww, nothing to say? Something clamping down on your tongue to keep it from moving?” he grimaced his lips up into a cruel snarl. At his taunt, your brief awestruck expression was replaced with a channel for your vulgarity.

“Why, are you offering?” You bite back, your eyes dark with their challenge, “I bet you have an array of things you could use to keep my tongue occupied.” His eyes widened, his grimace falling a little at your words.

“Come again?” He asked, hunching over to draw his face close to yours. He bore his teeth at you, his shock written all over his face. 

“I hope so, Sir,” you smile dreamily up at him, “As many times as you can handle it.” 

Your crewmen beside you sucked in whimpered breaths, hoping and praying the larger man at least found humor in your comments if not anything else. You continued to hold your half-lidded eyes, glazed over with unwithheld lust and need meeting with his wide eyes, pupils shrunk small and expression angry.

“What the fuck did you just say?” he spat, his brows creasing in the middle of his forehead as his scowl returned, “I should gag, choke and flog you for that.”

“And I would say ‘thank you’, Sir,” you hummed in affirmation, stepping your body closer to his towering form. Reactionary, he stepped further towards you, completely ignoring your crewmates beside you witnessing your interaction. You could feel the waves of tension elevating and igniting fury beneath his hulking form. 

“If this is your way of pissing me off,” he snarled, the rumble of his voice echoing within his chest shot a delightful shiver to your spine, “Believe me, it’s fuckin’ working, Sunshine.” 

Your heart swelled at his bestowment of such a sweet title onto you, your comrades in arms staring at you in horror as you swooned. Shachi and Penguin were rapidly shaking their heads from side to side in an attempt to warn you to cease your shameless advance of the foreign captain. Ikkaku stifled a smaller gasped whimper, while Bepo covered his ears. 

“So violent,” your voice shuddered in delight with an airy breathiness, “Don’t threaten me with a good time unless you intend on seeing it through, Sir.” 

Eustass Kid was stunned.

He had not received such provocative and forthcoming flirtation in this way before, and he truly had no idea if your crude words were just a depiction of your humor to entertain yourself, or if you truly meant what you were saying. If your expressions were just an act to draw a laugh from your crewmen, he no longer wanted to take part in engaging with you in this way. However, if you were truly interested in him - your shameless and tasteless salaciousness was indeed igniting something within the tinkerer-captain.

“You don’t even know who I am, Sunshine,” he informed you, drawing up his mechanical left hand and threatening to cage your neck within its cool, steely grip.

“Then educate me on the name I’ll be blissfully crying praises for, Sir,” you groaned, leaning your neck against the index finger of the mechanical contraption. 

“You got a lot of nerve to be talking shit about me in front everyone,” he pressed the heel of his metallic palm further into your flesh and curled the digits around your throat, “I’m not a fan of being the butt of some fucked up joke.”

“They’re not laughing at you, Sir. It’s ridicule at my expense,” you confessed, groaning at the feeling of cool metal pressing dangerously hard against your jugular, “They’re laughing at how much I want you, which I do. I really do, if you’re up to the task.” 

Kid’s breath was now taking its turn in being stolen from his lungs, your confession weighing as heavy on his heart as his mechanical arm was on his shoulder. He took a moment to process the words falling freely from your lips before he calculated an appropriate response. 

“The fuck did you just say-...?” Kid asked you quietly, his arm faltering its grip around your neck while his balled fist clenched tighter to stifle his rising anger. 

“You heard me,” you taunted him further, not tearing your eyes from his for even a moment. Your smile never faltered, your eyes displaying their unbridled lust and craving for him within your blackened pupils, “You don’t seem like the kind of guy that needs to be told twice.” 

“And what kind of guy do I look like to you?” he spat at you, wringing your neck between his steel fingers.

“A big one,” you gasped a whimpering moan, taking your bottom lip between your teeth as you felt every movement offered by the mechanical contraption. You would adore taking the time to study such a beautiful object in your workshop, but for now; your curiosity was satisfied by the feeling of the hulking larger man caging you beneath its cool grasp.

“You want me to show you how big I really am, Sunshine?” his face split into a broad grin, his brow creasing in the center to deepen his sinister expression, “At least you already know how to call me ‘Sir’.” 

Before you could utter another word, Law pulled the captain’s attention away from you with a grasp of his hand on his right forearm. Before he could squeeze his metal fingers around your neck further, he drew them away from your flesh as Captain Law interrupted your building tension.

“Captain Kid,” his stern voice cut through the air, the redhead’s eyes snapped over to meet with the yellow irises of your captain, “I apologize for my tinkerer’s obscenity. They know better,” he shot you a pointed look, one you returned with a stubborn huff of breath. “Tink, I warned you. You’re dismissed. Workshop, now.” 

“Aye-aye, Captain,” you spat, your heels clicking together as you saluted him with your index and middle finger. You marched yourself below decks, mentally scolding yourself on your shamelessness in front of someone who was finally your type. 

As the door closed behind you, Law released a breath he didn’t know he was withholding. As he opened his mouth to speak, Kid spoke over him.

“Did you say tinkerer, Traffy?” his eyes were still fixed on the door you just exited through, his voice almost soft in curiosity.

“That I did,” Law confessed with a huffed breath, “Let’s get back to our meeting so we can get this bullshit over with, yeah?” 

“Yeah…” Kid exhaled, turning back to meet his gaze with Luffy and his own crew. He spared one more glance over his shoulder towards the lower deck door of the Polar Tang. Curiosity had you plaguing his thoughts, swirling within every crevice of his mind as he attempted to engage in the fruitless Nakama meeting with the Heart, Kid and Straw-Hat pirate captains. 

Pausing just before joining up with Luffy, Kid turned once more to Law and grunted out a small cough. Law lazily turned his face over to him, angling his chin upwards to stare at the larger man. Kid’s cheeks dusted with a small tint of pink, elevating his right hand and pressing it against his lips while grunting through his next choice words. 

“They single?”

Law groaned, throwing his head back as he and Kid rejoined themselves next to Luffy to discuss the next aspect of their meeting: no words finding anchor within the Straw-Hat captain’s mind, as he was too busy contemplating when the next meal was to be presented. Will Sanji cook it? Will Kid’s crew, or Law’s provide it? Will it include meat? He hoped it would.

Part 2

[cuteandhughesy]

Guess They Call It Fallin’ | Matthew Knies

summary: you and matthew promised yourselves once you took each others virginity's, nothing would change between you. but fast forward 3 years - between casual hook ups and spending all your time with one another: you can't help but fall deeper and deeper in love with your best friend.

[word count] 24.8k

warnings: NSFW! slow burn | friends with benefits | friends to lovers | loss of virginity (reader + matthew | secret relationship | angst | fluff | suggestive themes | alcohol | smut | kissing | grinding | fingering | unprotected! p in v intercourse | read at your own discretion.

🎵 I guess they call it fallin’ by kelsea ballerini

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Prologue: 3 years ago

since your shared freshman year of highschool, you knew you'd follow matthew knies anywhere.

when you moved to arizona the summer before the september school year, you had never dreaded anything more than the first day of highschool. all that fear and dread faded when you sat down in your home room beside matthew.

you're not sure how it even happened, but soon enough you and matthew became best friends. maybe it was because he reminded you of your old friends from public school - or maybe it was the way matthew treated you so kindly that very first day. you two were always seen with one another - in school halls and out of them.

it didn't take long for you to realize you had feelings for your best friend. I mean, he was nothing short of perfect. your little teenage hormones couldn't help but notice how handsome he was and how good he smelled - his growing biceps and how he seemed to get taller every summer: it was impossible to not fall for him.

you were always good at hiding your feelings. in fear of loosing your closest friend, you didn't even give hints away that you craved something more with matthew. you would take your friendship and hidden crush over loosing him completely- always.

but then something changed.

it was your senior year of highschool. college and university acceptance letters were flying through the doors, celebratory parties and drinking away the weekends were constant reminders of the upcoming graduation. like you've always known, you would follow your best friend everywhere - and that included post secondary school. when matthew got accepted to play for the university of minnesota's hockey team, you worked your butt off to get the grades the university was looking for. all that extra studying, and staying up late for practice payed off: you were accepted to the university of minnesota.

with only a week left before graduation, you and matthew found yourselves at some mutual friends house party. although most people were swimming or laughing by the bonfire, you found yourselves off to the side - enjoying the presence of one another as you lounged on sun beds and stared up at the stars.

the air was warm, and the alcohol in your system was keeping your blood running hot. you were still coherent and conscious - not having drank that much. matthew was the same, with flushed cheeks and a dopey smile, but not slurring or tired. you were both just...free and happy.

"hey," he said at your side, your attention drawn away from the night sky and over to him. he was so handsome, even more so with a cheesy smile and dim outside lighting. you swallow thickly and quirk a brow in his direction. matthew continues, "I just thought of something kind of crazy."

you turn you head so you can look at him comfortably, "oh no."

he laughs, "no nothing like, that crazy." suddenly, he springs up, now sitting with his knees facing you. "come here."

your brows shoot up, but you listen, hesitantly following suit and mimicking your best friends position. your knees brush against his much larger ones, the hairs tickling your bare skin - goose bumps rising over your tan legs. then, he slots his thighs between yours, and you get goosebumps for a whole other reason.

matthew leans in close, almost looking as if he was going to kiss you. you don't move an inch, just watching as he gets closer and closer to your parted lips. just when you go to close your eyes, his breath fans against your warm face.

"you know how we talked about uni - and how it's different there. how the hookup scene is wilder and how easy it will be there to loose our virginities?"

oh.

you recover from the thought that you were about to finally be kissed and furrow your brows. "yeah, what about that?"

"I was thinking - and you don't have to say yes or agree, but..." he pauses and analyzes your face quickly. you urge him to continue with a nudge against his thigh. "by the time we are both 18 and if we are still virgins - we should just have sex...together."

you're glad it's dark outside because your face and neck flush beat red. "matty..."

he sighs, and bows his head slightly. "It's crazy, I know. I just thought who better than each other, right? it's stupid, I shouldn't of said anything-"

maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was because you were hopelessly addicted to making matthew happy but you grab his face between your small palms, urging him to look into your eyes. "it's not stupid." you swallow gently, "and it's definitely not crazy."

matthews tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip and you feel yourself lighten. you let go of his face before you have the urge to pull him in for a kiss.

"I think we should do it."

his eyes brighten ever so slightly, "really?"

you nod, "yeah! I mean if we both turn 18 and it hasn't happened - we should just do it. that way, we will enter our 'adulthood' with a notch on each of our belts."

he smiles ever so slightly, "yeah exactly." then he sticks his thick pinky out towards you, "let's pinky promise this, y/n/n. we won't be 18 year old virgins if all else fails."

and your finger wraps around his, solidifying your agreement.

—

college was fun. you think being away from home was easy because you had matthew with you - and he was all you needed to feel at home. although you both attended parties and made new friends - it didn't happen. you were both still virgins. matthew had an excuse though - he was so busy with hockey. between training, practices and games - he barley had time to see you, never mind some other girl.

and you, well, deep down you knew you weren't seeking anybody out because you couldn't think of anybody better than matthew to take your virginity. you're sure it was just your feelings for him talking, but you didn't care.

on october 17th, matthew turned 18. you and your small group of friends went out to some campus party and at the end of the night, matthew informed you he was still a virgin. although you knew that, it was still a relief to hear. in some twisted fantasy, you can help but hope maybe matthew was purposefully avoiding girls for you.

one month and a few days later, it was the eve of your 18th birthday. it was an odd day, because instead of going out like you did for matthew's 18th birthday, you stayed in with him, watching movies and having chocolate cupcakes- just the two of you. almost like you both knew - both ready to ignite the flames of your drunken agreement many months ago, and give one another your most intimate experience.

it started before midnight even hit - you wonder if matthew was sick of waiting around with his virginity. it was a mess of lips and spit, followed by the tangle of limbs and interlocking fingers on your dorm mattress. you had to ignore how perfect kissing matthew felt - how right it all felt.

slowly, clothes disappeared and kisses travelled - excitement grew. although this was supposed to be a nerve wracking experience- there was no signs of that between either of you. only gentle smiles and longing glances.

and when you were both finally naked, matthew clumsily wrapped up with a condom and you spread to accommodate his body between your legs. he paused the kiss, slowly pulling away to see your face.

matthew smiled, pushing the hairs back and away from your flushed face. he held your cheek tenderly, and you mimick his grin. "let's not let this change anything, okay? because I can't loose you." he whispers, thumb stroking the shell of your hot ear.

you nod, "I can't loose you either." one of your hands slide down his strong shoulder and grip onto his bicep, giving him a reassuring squeeze. "it's just us, matty. nothing will ever change."

and with that, matthew slowly pushed himself into you.

the following morning, you were awoken by the quiet shuffling in your room. slowly, you crack one eye open to see matthew, now dressed and smiling gently at you.

"hey," you mumble.

"morning," he hums, "I was just about to wake you up. I'm going to practice."

"okay," you say groggily, tucking yourself deeper into your pillow and away from the daylight streaming through your small window.

he laughs at your usual sleepy routine, very much used to your morning tiredness and uninterested state. turning, he grabs his phone from were he disregarded it the night prior. "i'll text you later, okay," he says, moving back to your slumped figure - running a hand over your mess of hair.

"m'kay," you mutter into your pillow.

then he leaves.

the door clicks shut, and your eyes shoot open- memories of the night before rushing back into your brain faster than you can comprehend them. you and your best friend had sex - and it wasn't akward or painful or anything remotely close.

it was perfect. soft touches, and sweet glances and everything you had ever wanted when experiencing sex for the first time. girls in highschool had talked about there experience- how awkward it was and uncomfortable they felt. with matthew, it was out of a fairytale.

your momentary wave of panick washes away, and you smile. your hand reaching up to gently trace over your lips, thinking of matthew's soft ones slotting against them only hours before.

this was the best case scenario- and you were living it. truthfully, you were expecting it to be this easy with matthew, solely because it was him.

what you weren't expecting though, was every so often when you were both a little tipsy and needy - you'd find yourselves back in bed, sharing kisses and exchanging orgasms.

but nothing ever changed between you. it was still just you and matthew, continuing to be best friends like you haven't had the most intimate parts of one another. you weren't dating, or acting any different outside of the bedroom. just the occasional longing glance, or brushing hands, or trying your hardest to resist kissing, it was fine...really.

Part One: May 2023

you roll up to the balls of your feet and then fall back to your heels. the attempt to see over the bustling airport crowd was unsuccessful, and you sigh gently.

you knaw on your bottom lip and again try and peer over the sea of heads moving throughout the building, trying to catch a glimpse of your tall friend.

matthew had been living in toronto for a couple months while he made is nhl debut with the toronto maple leafs. although the season ended quicker than anticipated, you were still extremely proud of your friend.

with your exam schedule, you couldn't make any of the games like you had hoped. you would've spent your life savings on a plane ticket and glass seats if it meant seeing matthew play in the major league - but school had other plans for you. although, that didn't stop you from calling him or texting him after every game, both of you talking about every single thing you've missed.

in the second last game of the leafs playoff season, matthew got a concussion - a pretty bad one at that. matthew had been pretty upset, and even looked sniffly on facetime (you gave him shit for being on his phone when he wasn't supposed to, but he didn't care: he just wanted you). once he was cleared to fly back home, he called you immediately to ask if you could pick him up from the airport - obviously, you agreed.

so there you stood, in the middle of the airport as families and business men alike all passed by, distracted as they tried to make flights and get to security. it's almost 30 minutes past the time matthew had told you he'd landed. you try not to worry too much - he'd probably just gotten held up at baggage claim or needed the bathroom before he made his way to you.

just as you pull out your phone to call him, a strong arm wraps around your shoulders from behind, pulling your body into their broad chest.

you don't panick, because you know it's matthew immediately. you can smell the ralph lauren cologne he's been wearing since freshman year, and you recognize the soft material of his t-shirt - the t-shirt you've not only pressed your face into in search of hugs but also have stolen on a few occasions.

"you're not even looking for me, what the hell." matthew says against the shell of your ear. his tone of voice is clearly teasing, trying to get a rise out of you.

you spin in his grasp, your air forces squeaking against the tiled floor of the scottsdale airport. he doesn't release your shoulders, keeping you against his front. automatically, you wrap your arms around his thick waist. "it's not my fault you took an hour to get through the airport - I got bored and gave up."

he scoffs playfully, tugging the end of you ponytail, "rude."

you smirk teasingly, "you're right, that's no way to talk to an nhl superstar."

matthew blushes at your words, and his smile brightens right before your very eyes. the sight of his overwhelming happiness has your stanch swooping, butterflies banging against your sides as they fly about.

"i'm no superstar, y/n/n." he whispers, face tilted downwards so he can keep eye contact.

you shrug against him, "I disagree."

you watch as his tongue passes through his lips, swiping along his bottom lip to wet the already plump and pink skin. in that moment, as matthew stares back at you, you think he may lean in for a kiss and you feel your heart hammer with joy.

instead, you see matthew's other hand jolt up, gripping a bouquet of flowers and waving them ever so gently in your peripheral vision. you look over to the blooming display, brows raised.

"got these for you," he muses.

you smile, "why are you getting me things! you're the one who deserves the good things."

his eyes flicker with something you can't quite understand, and his adam's apple bobs as he swallows. "i've got my good thing right here with me." his words have you freezing ever so slightly, but you don't have time to think of any underlying meaning, because matthew continues, "it's a thank you for coming to pick me up."

you take the flowers, sniffing one of the deep pink tulips, your senses filled with the sweet floral smell you loved so much. "well, then, you're welcome." you tease, dropping the bouquet down from your nose. "that reminds me," you smile, your free hand digging around your jeans back pocket until you locate a chocolate bar. the kitkat is a little mushy from the heat of your body, and the wrapper is a bit crinkled, but you jut it in matthew's direction anyway. "your favourite!"

matthew smiles, taking the chocolate from your hand and inspecting the wrapper. then, he glances back at you with a teasing look. "you know, athletes aren't supposed to eat stuff like this."

"so you don't want it?" you question, a raise to one of your perfectly styled brows.

"oh no, i'm eating it." matthew laughs gently, immediately ripping the red wrapper off the chocolate and taking a messy bite. chocolate smears on his top lip and you laugh.

"you got a little something right there," you whisper gently, finger ghosting over his cupids bow as you gesture to the smeared sweet goodness.

his hand is now wrapped around your waist, holding you to him. matthews brows raise ever so slightly, a grin slowly appearing on his mouth. "yeah?" you nod. "you gunna get it for me?"

you want to kiss him so bad...does he want you to kiss him?

but instead you scrunch your nose playfully, wiping your thumb over his mouth until any traces of smeared chocolate are gone. you don't see the way matthew's eyes change slightly, watching as you use your hands to get rid of the mess.

"ready to go, matty?"

he nods softly, "let's go."

the ride back home is filled with laughter and smiles. matthew is so happy to talk about his experience playing in the nhl - even though you've talked about it before. seeing him speak about the opportunity face to face was something you'd never forget.

you tell him about how emma from your shared history class bombed her final presentation, and that had matthew laughing as you explained the whole thing animatedly. you talk about plans for the summer and finally seeing your friends from highschool after a year away in minnesota.

a kelsea ballerini song slowly fades as you pull up against the curb of matthew's childhood home. a home that you spent your entire highschool life in - studying and laughing and watching movies and just enjoying each others presence. the thought of all those memories have you grinning as you park the car - unlocking the doors once you've stopped.

matthew unbuckles his seat belt. he doesn't hear you move, or the click of your seat belt buckle and looks over at you, a small v shape forming between his drawn brows. "are you not coming in?"

"I don't want to interrupt, matty. they haven't seen you in a little bit."

he shakes his head, "my mom already asked for you to join - and I told her you'd come in, so..."

you sigh and he watches you give him a knowing look - one that isn't buying his bullshit: he knows it all too well. matthew sends a sheepish smile your way and briefly shrugs his shoulders. "at least help me with my bags. what kind of friend would you be if you didn't help me with them," he teases.

the kind of friend you kiss and hold and fuck, you think.

regardless, you unbuckle your seatbelt with a faux annoyed look. matthew's smile grows into one of successes, and you purposefully avoid his now cheeky expression. "yeah, yeah, let's go."

matthew lied about his mom inviting you over - which you knew he did (because you can read your best friend like a book), but she was excited to see you regardless. as soon as his mom jumped in suprise and expressed her joy at your presence- you sent matthew a deathly glare for his lie. he could only smirk playfully in response to your obvious annoyed reaction.

in her typical fashion, matthew's mom coddled both of you and fed you dinner just like she used to do when the two of you were still kids in highschool.

unlike you, matthew's parents made it to a couple of his nhl games. even though they've seen him since he left for minnesota, they haven't talked about school since christmas - when they were down in toronto, the topic of conversation was obviously matthew's nhl debut.

so you weren't suprised when his mom, between chews of her cheesy pasta, started peppering her son with all sorts of questions.

"did you make friends with anyone new since we last talked?"

"how was your roommate and the dishes situation?"

"did you ever figure out your biology assignment? or was it chemistry?"

"any girlfriends while you were in toronto?"

"mum," matthew laughs awkwardly, his fork hitting the plate with a clinck, "your foods going to get cold if you keep asking all these questions."

his brother snickers into his pepsi filled glass. you and him share a brief look once their mum kicks matthew under the table because of his remark - regardless, she was laughing along with the table. "you're right, i'm sorry - just curious."

matthew doesn't answer the last question, which has you feeling nervous. you watch as he drags his bread through a section of sauce, soaking the garlic flavoured dough. he meets your curious eyes - deep in thought - as he takes a bite. you smile politely in his direction, eyes darting away. if he sees your worried expression, he doesn't say anything, looking away once you do.

you shove some pasta in your mouth and try not to overthink - which was always impossible when it came to your brain and matthew.

"what about you, y/n?" his dad asks from the head of the table, dropping his piece of garlic toast on the side of his ceramic plate. "any boyfriend?"

you choke slightly on a spaghetti noodle, taking a few gulps of water to calm your coughing and burning face. "sorry. no," you hum once you've collected yourself, "nothing like that."

in your peripheral vision, you see matthew turn to look at you again. you glance at him quickly, and he gives you a knowing look, shoving a large bite of food into his mouth in an attempt to cover his smirk.

you dart your gaze away quickly - your face burning for an entirely different reason.

"really?!" his mum muses, oblivious to the glances exchanged between you and her son, "I gotta say you two, all these years away at school and neither of you in relationships - I'd say you spend too much time together."

you blush, clearing your throat. your eyes meet your plate of food as you begin to slide your fork through the last bites of sauce and meat.

"that's definitely it," matthew hums, not meeting your eyes in favour of finishing off his plate. underneath the table, his knee bumps yours once, and you're not sure if he meant to do it, but you fight a smile regardless - gently bumping his back.

only an hour after finishing dinner and cleaning up the mess of pots and plates - matthew was begging you to come to the beach with him for sunset before heading back home. you let him him beg and convince you, even though you were set on going as soon as the words left his mouth.

the sand is warm on your feet as you dig them into the granules - sand dusting up to your ankles and coating your braided anklet. the sunset is reflecting on your face, providing a warm glow not only on you, but on the entire beach. you close your eyes and take a long inhale, basking in the feeling.

matthew drops down beside you, his added weight pulling on the blanket you'd set down. he leans back on to his hands and stretches his legs out - his feet sliding through the sand and sending tiny particles onto the blanket.

you huff, immediately trying to dust it all off. it makes your best friend laugh quietly beside you.

"I missed you," matthew whispers a few minutes after you cleared the blanket. "so much."

you look over at him, meeting his blue gaze. he looks so beautiful with the hues of orange and fuscha reflecting around him. clean shaven, and t-shirt stretching around his muscles ever so nicely. "i missed you," you say back.

matthew's forearm brushes against yours and his palm is so close to yours in the sand that if you just reached out, you'd be able to wrap your pinky over his. you're unsure if he means to brush your limbs together, and you think about pulling away, but then his muscles flex against you, and you feel him press his arm against yours firmly - conforming he wants you there.

that action has you thinking back a few hours ago at the dinner table - matthew's knee touching yours under the table privately. but thinking about that part of the dinner, also has you thinking about how matthew never gave an answer about having a girlfriend while he was away.

even thinking about that has your stomach dropping like you'd just dropped on a roller coaster. before you can stop yourself, you get his attention gently, "matty?"

he hums, his eyes trained on the setting sun across the water.

"is there a girl in toronto?"

you're pretty sure his arm goes rigid on yours. you've dropped on the roller coaster again, feeling your organs fall all the way to your feet. matthew sighs gently, "y/n.."

when you and matthew started casually hooking up, you both decided to not only stay best friends, but you also chose to not be exclusive. the point of loosing your virginities to one another was to get over that awkward milestone with a future partner. therefore, once you were both free of that title, you could go out into the dating scene and feel free - and have sex with whoever.

so of course there was a chance matthew was hooking up with somebody in toronto - you'd be happy if he did, truly. as his best friend, you want him to be happy. as his unrequited lover, you couldn't bare the thought. because although matthew may be not be exclusive, you have always been (unbeknownst to him).

without wanting to sound bothered or upset, you laugh breathlessly. "it doesn't matter if you do, matty. we're friends, right? no secrets ever." - a promise you and him had always cherished was never ever having secrets - excluding your painfully excruciating crush on him (obviously).

"no, I know," matthew nods with an expression you can't quite decipher. it's something between soft and maybe guilty - possibly innocent or nothing even close. he sighs again, "there's no girl...and no secrets."

you suck your bottom lip into your mouth, suppressing the grin as it slowly made its way onto your face.

"well," matthew says lightheartedly. he pushes off his hands, dusting the sand off his palms once he sits up. his back muscles have you too distracted to notice all the sand covering your blanket. once positioned, matthew looks back at you over his shoulder, "there is one girl."

if it wasn't for his playful tone and the smirk he was sending in your direction, you'd think he was being serious. you push off your hands as well and wrap them around his bulged bicep. "oh yeah? who's that?" you ask gently, leaning into his warm body.

"you," he whispers, hooked nose brushing against yours delicately - if you didn't know this was the way you and matthew acted, you'd be tricked into thinking he had feelings for you.

you scrunch your nose against his, pulling back just enough to meet his eyes. "you just want to get laid."

matthew's lips look like they may turn into a downwards pull, and you already feel the panick bubbling at your chest - what had you said wrong?

but he clears his throat, mouth turning into a soft smirk. "maybe..."

you force another laugh, "good," you lie, "me too."

and in your and matthew's lonesome on the sandy beach, he slowly leans back into your space, finally pressing a kiss against your lips.

your grip on his arm tightens when his tongue slips between your parted lips, allowing him access to deepn the kiss - tongues massaging one another as they skillfully move.

when matthew pulls away a few minutes later, he's breathing heavily, an all too familiar haze in his eyes and smile on his swollen pink lips.  "let's get in your car."

you nod, "m'kay."

the last bit of the evening sun is falling on you both and illuminating the water. matthew's helps you up, grabbing the blanket and making sure to dust all the sand off before throwing it in your backseat.

when he pulls you against his chest in the privacy of your car and continues your hot kiss, you think you just so happen to be falling deeper in love with your best friend.

Part Two:

the alchemy was the towns best hangout spot. not only was there a bar and dance floor, but they had amazing food and an even better atmosphere. at the end of every week, they'd often have local bands come in to play their set - friday was always the night to go.

this friday was no exception. there was a lineup outside the building, and every few minutes it would get shorter as the bouncers checked ID's and sent people in. you, as well as some other friends in your group, weren't of age yet, so you were already preparing for the purple X they'd draw on your hand to stain your skin and indicate your age.

your good friend janie is fixing her lip gloss in her small compact mirror as she faces you. janie was somebody who valued her appearance very much - but she was so beautiful, she barley had to do anything to maintain it. you watch as her boyfriend, daniel, talks her ear off about something he had seen at the mall earlier, face animated as he flails his hands.

the line moves again and behind you, matthew pushes you along gently - presses into your backside with his hips as you inch forward. he's not even looking at you when he does it, too busy conversing with another friend of yours, logan.

matthew's hand is warm on your exposed hip, his thumb gently resting against the waist band of your jean shorts - slowly stroking the edge, thumb occasionally dipping under the material. you sigh pleasantly, head falling back to rest against his peck.

a moment later, matthew looks down at you, a smile making its way onto his face. you notice logan has turned his attention to another person in your small group of friends - leaving all your friends distracted.

you loved and appreciated your small group of friends from high school, and always cherished your time together as well as your closeness. but there is one thing you and matthew never disclosed: your complicated relationship. at the beginning, you weren't sure there was a term for you and matthew's situation, but now you know it's friends with benefits. you'd never even admitted that to yourself, never mind telling all your friends. in fantasy land, matthew was your boyfriend and he loved you back - he pulls you in for kisses in front of his family and your friends, and he tells his family he has a girl: you.

"what's going on with you?" matthew's whispered words have you pulled from your own thoughts, his hips still against you - shuffling you further up line. "you look deep in thought - that's never good." he teases.

you scoff, smacking his chest with the back of your hand playfully. your actions have matthew laughing deeply, chest rumbling against your shoulders - which makes you smile. "not much," you hum.

discreetly, you check and make sure nobody is in earshot and eavesdropping on you and your best friend - you notice they're distracted. you lean your head up so you can be closer to his ear and whisper, "just that you look kinda hot in that hat."

matthew is wearing a western style cowboy hat atop his head, paired with jeans and a white tshirt. it's rodeo theme at the alchemy tonight, and matthew isn't the only one dressed for the occasion. your friend group and everyone else in line are dressed in their best western style. hats and boots are everywhere in sight, along with cow prints and pleather tassels.

"goes it make me look like a cowboy?" he questions with a suggestive raise to his eyebrows - a smirk tugging at his mouth.

you giggle slightly and nod once with conformation. "yes."

"good," he hums, "you gunna ride me?" his eyes dart down to your shirt, which so happens to say 'save a horse and ride a cowboy.' you bought it specifically for the occasion, obviously - paired with your favourite denim shorts and cowgirl boots. definitely not the most creative or unique outfit - but still on theme.

you blush, "depends...you gunna let me try that on?" with your question, you spin around to face matthew, reaching up to try and grab his hat from his head. matthew grabs your hand before you can reach the brim, halting your movement.

you pout, "matty..."

matthew huffs likes he's annoyed, but the very edges of his plump lips begin to tug upwards. without another word, he grabs the hat from the top, plopping it down on your head so that it covers your eyes, your straight hair falling over your face.

you laugh, pulling the hat off so you can attempt to adjust your hair back into place. matthew beats you to it, his warm hands pushing away all the strands from your vision with a fond gleam in his eyes. he doesn't pull away once he's done moving your hair and his hands slide down to hold the side of your face for a moment longer.

you wish that he'd kiss you then. but he doesn't, and you feel your face wanting to drop with disappointment.

trying to hide the sadness you feel, you put matthew's cowboy hat back on your head; properly this time so that no hair gets in the way.

your group makes it to the entrance of the alchemy, and country music is flowing through the open doors. the two bouncers check over all your id's and mark the appropriate people who are underage - matthew and you included.

once you enter, you immediately notice how the crowd was bustling - loud laughter, music and the tangy smell of beer throughout.

"yo, let's get that table!" daniel shouts over the noise of the crowd, pointing in the direction of an area near the back of the alchemy that seemed unoccupied.

while you walk through the busy place, matthew grabs ahold of your hand softly, guiding you behind him as you all make your way to the table. the feeling of his hand on yours in such a public setting feels overwhelming in the best way, and there's a part of you that hopes any girl who'd seen him walk in - now thinks he's in a relationship and any advances they'd thought of making are halted.

you and your friends order a round of drinks as soon as you sit down, and you send your friend april, as well as logan, up to the bar to collect everyone's desired beverages.

although you couldn't order the drinks, that didn't mean you couldn't sneak some. one or two vodka sodas combined with the shots you pregamed would have you feeling drunk in no time.

and that was true, because an hour later, you and janie were both very buzzed in the middle of the crowded dance floor - dancing to some megan moroney cover song.

"so," janie starts with a suggestive smirk, "you and matthew looked pretty cozy earlier."

"what?" you squeak, "no, we're just -I don't know janie, you know how we are."

she eyes you suspiciously, "you two have so much sexual tension recently. you guys should like...fuck or something."

your eyes widen and you blush, slightly choking on your own attempt to cough. "absolutely not," you squeak, "I mean - that would just...ruin things."

she laughs slightly and shrugs her exposed tan shoulders in your direction, "just a suggestion. I mean, he probably wants to do it anyways."

you knaw on your lip, forehead lines deepening as you take in your friends words. "why do you think that?" a momentary swirl of panic overtakes you, and you're worried yourself and matthew were being too obvious.

"y/n," she laughs, her hips swaying to the country tune lightly, "guys don't act like that for no reason! I mean, the way he looks at you..."

you swallow quickly. briefly, your eyes meet your shoes and you resist the urge to sigh sadly. "we're just best friends, jaine, believe me."

you wish you were more, your drunk brain reminds you.

you look away from the floor to find janie, but she's isn't looking at you, but rather her eyes are trained over your shoulder. then, she smirks slightly at you, "looks like he's coming over here."

just like a 6th grade girl with a crush, you freeze. blushing all the way down to your chest and eyes widening. trying to remain nonchalant, you shrug and take a sip of your drink.

"i'm gunna go." your brunette friend says, "before you two get all...sensual." janie sends you one last teasing look over her shoulder as she walks away - leaving you waiting anxiously for matthew's touch.

a moment later, you feel matthew press against you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders in a brief hug - merely missing your drink as he does so. immediately with his touch, all earlier anxious and physical jitters vanish and you relax into matthew's familiar grip.

"missed you over there," he mutters into your ear. "our table was boring without you." matthew's nose nudges against the shell of your ear and then he leans farther down your body - pressing a hot kiss right between the skin of your shoulder and the base of your neck.

you swoon. his touch combined with the warm breath tickling against your skin, as well as the feeling of his lips pressing against you, causes something similar to a moan to leave your lips quietly.

the alcohol in your system has completely stolen your filter, and you can only pray that your friends can't see the way matthew had just approached you - or how you reacted to his touch.

at your breathy exhale, matthew spins your body around so that you are standing pressed chest to chest. he smirks when he catches sight of your happy flushed face and drunken hazy eyes. "you look so hot dancing." he says lowly.

you reach up and delicately brush a fallen eyelash off his cheek. "is that so?" you question, purposely pressing your boobs harder into his chest.

"definitely so," he agrees.

behind you, the band starts a new song, something with less tempo that your buzzed brain doesn't recognize immediately.

it looks like matthew does recognize the tune though, and he sends you a smirk. "dance with me?" he questions cheekily, reaching down to grab his cowboy hat you were still wearing, placing it back on his own head.

you don't care enough to protest, partially because he looks too good in it for you to complain. you raise your cup in his direction, "i've got this still."

just as you finish your scentence, matthew grabs your drink, raising it to his mouth and chugging the last of its contents. you gawk, watching as he wipes his mouth and places your now empty cup on a nearby table.

one of matthew's hands grab ahold of your waist, while the other takes your hand in his own - interlocking your fingers together. "now you can dance," he teases, swaying you both to the song.

"I hate you," you huff. your words have no real bite as you begin to smile.

"you can't hate me," matthew says matter of factly, "i'm your best friend."

you frown ever so slightly, jutting your chin up, "just your best friend?" you're buzz has you clearly teetering on drunk, and matthew can tell - not only from your question but your blissed expression.

he chooses not to answer your question but you don't seem to mind, too busy swaying to the song you loved so much.

"stand by me," you sing to him, "ooooh stand by me."

matthew laughs fondly, and you beam up at him. "you're a natural," he states teasingly.

"you sing the next part with me," you insist.

"it's not a duet."

"it is now," you state, "c'mon - just as long you stand, stand by me."

matthew joins in, "and darling, darling stand by me!" his tone is pitchy and he's singing loud enough to earn interested stares from the people in your vicinity.

it has you faltering, laughing into his warm chest. matthew stops singing as well, watching amused as you lean into him with nothing but happiness on your face. he releases your hand in favour to wrap that hand around your shoulders, keeping you pressed against him.

you wake with a deep groan, squinting at the harsh light on your face that was streaming through open curtains. with another groan, you pull the blanket up and over your face to hide yourself from your own hangover.

the smell of matthew's cologne and laundry detergent has you pausing, cracking open one eye to see the familiar navy sheets on matthew's childhood bed.

you toss the blanket away from your face, and turn to see him watching you gently from the other side of the bed - an ever knowing grin on his face at your hungover morning behaviour.

"shut up," you grumble, pushing up from your flat position to mimic him, sitting with your back flat against the headboard.

"didn't say anything," matthew muses.

"but you thought it," you huff. his laughter is enough for you to know your accusation was true, and you squint annoyed at him.

"I brought you this," he hands you a bottle of water and two aspirins, which you take immediately, sighing in relief at the water falling down your dry throat.

slowly, the night before comes back to you. memories of cowgirl boots, your friends downing drinks and dancing all night flooding your brain. your groan once more, covering your face briefly when a wave of nausea comes over you. "ugh, I never want to here stand by me again."

matthew laughs loudly, body rolling over until he's pressed into your side.

you laugh gently with him, dropping your hands from your face so you can see. "seriously!"

"anytime I hear that song now i'm going to think of you," matthew insists. subconsciously, one of matthew's fingers trial over your forearm, gently tickling your skin as he looks up at you from his now slouched position.

although the thought of the song is currently making you feel sick, matthew's words have you feeling fuzzy - there was worse songs that could remind him of you, and stand by me was a really sweet one to he associated with.

because you don't say anything, matthew starts to sing, "stand by me, ohhhh!"

you shush him with a laugh, placing your hand over his mouth.

Part Three (A):

"5...4...3...2...1....and you're done," daniel cheers as you all watch jaine drop back down to her feet from her previous hand stand.

she smiles victorious, giving a bow in your direction. she stumbles slightly, the combination between her various drinks and uneven grassy ground throwing her off balance. she is still just as happy for completing her dare despite her shaky balance, skipping back towards the bonfire you all sat around and taking her seat between you and her boyfriend.

"I did the 20 second hand stand - those 3 years of gymnastics really payed off," she chimes, "take a sip, logan."

logan, the one who gave her the dare, tongues his cheek before he takes a large gulp of his seltzer. it goes down easily, and you watch his face in the glow from the bonfire - some of the liquid falling from the corner of his mouth, dripping until he wipes it away. "alright, janie, we don't have all day."

she doesn't answer to his teasing, eyes searching your small group of friends to find the next recipient of her question. "april," she starts, "truth or dare?"

april, another one of your highschool friends, laughs lightly, uncrossing her tan legs as she ponders. "truth," she settles on.

"when was the last time you had a dirty dream?" janie giggles like she already had the question locked and loaded in her brain - either that or she knows something about april that the rest of you don't. the thought has you giggling into your chest.

the guys in your group all tease her, a low chorus of 'ouuuu' echoing in logan's backyard.

she blushes at the question. "god, I can't answer that! I don't even think i've ever had one!" april squawks, covering her burning cheeks with her hands.

"you gotta finish your drink if you don't answer," dylan, another member of your circle of friends reminders her.

without another word, april chugs her entire can, finishing off the fruity drink in mere seconds. you all cheer her on as she finishes, trying to collect her breathing.

classic party games have always been a staple when your friends all got together. whether it was back when you were all still in highschool - akward and acne prone, or times like right now - when you were all home for the summer - you all played them. truth or dare was a common one, offering the best combination of fun activity and talking. plus, it was easy to incorporate a few drinks - which always spiced things up.

"y/n," april's sweet voice calls your attention, "truth or dare?" she asks, a mischievous grin beginning to tug at her lined lips.

on instinct, you want to say truth. truth is usually easier and sometimes less embarrassing than the dares that go around this group; you think back to highschool when logan had to streak through the neighborhood or when janie had to post an akward singing video for her followers to see. but with truths, secrets can go hand in hand - and you had a big secret - one that you aren't sure you can hide too much longer.

across from you, matthew meets your gaze. he's watching you with a teasing glimmer in his eyes, mouth hid behind his canned drink as he takes a nonchalant sip.

"dare," you decide, eyes darting back to april.

her smile widens, and if she wasn't so pretty you'd think she looked rather evil. you wouldn't be suprised if her hands came together wickedly and she begins to cackle. "I dare you...." april pauses dramatically, grin growing "...to kiss logan."

oh my god.

"what?" you ask, brows raised in a mixture of suprise and shock.

"c'mon!" daniel cheers, reaching over his girlfriend's body to push against your shoulder playfully.

"pucker up those lips," dylan teases.

you laugh awkwardly, tucking some of your hair away.

daniel interrupts, "-and no drinking out of dares!"

you'd honestly forgotten about that rule - one that you had made up a few years back when too many people were opting out of dares and the game had just become a chug fest.

you meet matthew's eyes again, expect this time he is looking at you with a weary expression. fair enough, you think, because why would he want his fuck buddy to make out with his friend right in front of him.

"if she really doesn't want to we shouldn't make her," he says firmly.

you heart flutters in your chest at the thought of matthew possibly feeling jealous, but then you remember what you and him are, and you deflate once more. he wasn't jealous, more likely feeling uncomfortable.

"rules are rules," janie sing songs, bumping into your side teasingly.

you don't want to draw to much attention or conger any questions from matthew's words being tied to your hesitation, so you stand up, walking confidently to the blonde boy across from you.

logan laughs, letting you invade his space.

"hands to yourself," you tell him, trying your best to sound playful and not worried or nervous.

"same goes for you," he quips back.

you ignore him, gently grabbing onto his shoulder as you lean down to meet his seated height, pressing your lips onto his. they slot together, and he gently sucks along your bottom lip.

logan's kiss is nowhere near as nice as any of the ones matthew has given you. his lips weren't as soft as matthew's, or as gentle. logan's only held notes of lust and eagerness - matthew's always took their time and moved skillfully.

then, logan grabs your face between both your hands, stopping your kiss so he can lick up the side of your cheek sloppily.

your friends laugh, and you push away with a smile, wiping away any silva with the back of your hand. "you're foul," you breath with quick laugh.

"gotta keep it interesting," logan teases, shifting in his seat so he can reach for another can of beer.

"I have to go clean my face," you say loudly, "i'll be in the bathroom." you make your way to the patio door, entering the quiet house, your friends laughter and continuation of the game slowly quieting as you slide the door closed behind you.

you flick on the bright bathroom light before shutting the door, leaving you alone in the small powder room near the front of the home. you quickly clean your face with a baby wipe, then washing off any residue with some soap and water.

thankfully in the summer months, you didn't wear much makeup, meaning you weren't really altering your appearance but rubbing suds into your face and rinsing with water.

you turn to leave, but out of something that feels like guilt, you walk back to the sink and scrub at your lips, essentially wiping off the traces of the kiss with your longtime friend.

for matthew, your brain reminds you with a tease.

you shake your head and blink away the thought, turning back to the door and pulling it open.

matthew stands there, hand reached out like he was about to open the bathroom door just before you. you meet his eyes gently, and he looks down at you with a darkened gaze, slightly breathless as he stand in front of you.

then, he backs you both into the powder room, shutting the door again so you're both standing in the small space. matthew strides towards you, grabbing onto your face and tilting your head back into the perfect position for him to press his lips against as yours.

you moan immediately, hands grabbing onto his waist over his shirt. you both smell like bonfire mixed with your respective alcoholic beverages, but it isn't off putting: only familiar - comfortable.

matthew nips at your bottom lip, and you gasp gently, which gives him the perfect opportunity to slide his tongue against yours. the feeling has you panting into his mouth, fingers gripping his shirt tighter.

he pulls back only briefly, "how long before they come looking?" his lips brush against yours as he asks, and you can barley focus on his question at the feeling.

"couple more minutes," you pant.

he doesn't say anything else in favour of pushing his mouth back into yours. it's sloppy, like he's racing against time -desperately trying to get as much of you as humanly possible.

matthew turns your body until you're pushed against the bathroom sink. the ceramic digs into your lower back, but you don't care enough to change that. you're too focused on the way matthew pushes his thick thigh between your legs, simultaneously moving your thighs apart as well as providing his leg as another form of stimulation.

he grunts against your lips as you rock against him, and one of his hands leaves you face and drops towards your lower back - slipping between you and the hard sink. he pulls you closer by your back, dragging your core farther up his thigh.

"we need to stop," matthew breaths, "because soon i'll have no choice but to fuck you on our friends sink."

you gulp, "is that so bad?"

"no," he licks his lip, "but they'll definitely catch us."

with that, you agree, and you both untangle yourselves from one another. you turn away to adjust your frazzled hair in the small mirror above the bathroom counter. unfortunately, you can't do much about your glossy eyes and flushed face, but both can be disguised as you just drinking too much.

you feel matthew press himself behind you, his bulge resting against your ass and you look away from your appearance to meet his eyes through the mirror. he's looking at you with an odd look, so you raise one of your brows in question. "you okay?"

he blinks three times, taking a deep breath. "yeah, just...lost in my thoughts for a moment there."

you frown, worries of only minutes ago of you kissing logan filling your head - he's come in here to claim his territory and assert dominance because you'd kissed logan. "are you mad at me?" you question gently, eyes still trained on his through the mirror.

matthew's brows pull together, and he grabs onto your hips, spinning you around to face him once more. "why would I be mad at you?"

you shrug sheepishly, and you hold onto your own arms apprehensively. "maybe because I kissed logan? right in front you. and I know that we are just fucking or whatever...but, you're mad because you feel, I don't know, disrespected."

immediately after you finish, matthew shakes his head. he pushes away any baby hairs around your face, keeping his hand resting on the side of your head. "absolutely not." you see something flash in his eyes before he continues, "i think i'm just jealous - actually I know that i'm jealous."

"jealous?" you whisper.

he nods again, "jealous because logan got to kiss you before I did tonight."

"oh," you fight back a smirk, and you drop you arms in favour of wrapping them around matthew's torso - he lets you pull him closer wordlessly. "if it's any constellation, out of the two kisses i've had tonight, yours is the only one I enjoyed."

he smirks, "I bet the licking had something to do with that."

you laugh, "something."

he pretends to ponder, "maybe I should up my tongue game some more."

you giggle loudly, and the sound has matthew breaking character to smile fondly down at you. then he interrupts your giggle with one more kiss.

in that moment, it feels like a relationship rather than just friendship with perks. the way matthew holds onto you, and smiles down at you - the way you smile back. merely moments ago you were ready to have sex in somebody else's house, purely because you couldn't help yourself - too in love and drunk to not. that intense, hot moment now turned soft and sweet, while matthew say's things that he knows will make you laugh. in that moment, you let yourself pretend.

you let yourself pretend matthew wasn't only jealous because his friend got the kiss question before him - he was jealous because the girl he loved had to kiss someone else.

how you long for that to be true.

nobody is suspicious when you and matthew make your way back outside and take your respective seats. nobody questions either of you - too busy watching daniel give dylan a lap dance.

over the flames of the fire, matthew catches your gaze. he tongues his cheek to try and hide the smirk he couldn't help.

Part Three (B): junior year of highschool

you often worried when it came to your best friend. not necessarily about him physically, but rather about what what he thinks and knows. not to say you didn't care about what physically happened to him, but the thought of him finding out your deepest hidden feelings for him was more worrying than a bruise or a headache - or so you thought.

when matthew texted you late at night that something had happened to him, you didn't hesitate to hop in your car and make the drive over to his families home.

you knew the code to his front door and let yourself in quietly - mindful of 11 p.m. approaching.

you toed off your slippers on the christmas themed door mat before making your way further into the gingerbread scented home. the sound of friends and the glow of the tv alerted you to somebody up in the family room, and you slowed in your steps as you approached.

phil, matthew's brother, looks in your direction. he doesn't seem suprised by your presence, so you think matthew must've mentioned that you'd be coming over. phil nods once over his shoulder before turning his attention back to the show. "he's upstairs."

"thanks," you say gently, making your way up the carpeted stairs to the second floor, and all the way to matthew's bedroom door.

you don't bother knocking, because you and him never did, and push open his wooden door. the room is only illuminated by his bedside lamp, casting a warm glow on his cream coloured walls and mousey brown furniture.

you catch matthew's eyes and a frown tugs at your lips. he looks tired, presumably from his hockey game earlier in the evening.

"hey," he says quietly. he pushes up from his slouched position and gets off his bed, making his way over to you.

you walk into the room and shut the door softly behind you. "hey," you say, "what's wrong?"

you catch a glimpse of matthew's frown and teary eyes before he wraps his arms around you - pulling your body into his chest for a tight embrace. instantly, you reciprocate the hug, your smaller arms wrapping around his upper back, rubbing soothingly along the ripples of muscles under his skin.

he takes a shaky deep inhale against you, and the feeling has your frown deepening. seeing your best friend so upset was gut wrenching enough, never mind when you also have an embarrassingly large crush on him. "please, talk to me, matty. what's going on?"

he takes one more big breath before he releases you. "i've had a shitty day. school dragged on and then mr. johnson failed me on that assignment from last week. then, during my game I took a weird hit and totally fucked my shoulder! not only that but after the hit I made a shit play and got benched. i'm just...tired." he finishes, his shoulders deflating.

you listen with a slight pout, your eyes intensely dancing over his flushed cheeks and deep coloured bags sitting below his eyes. "i'm sorry about your shitty day." you say.

"not your fault," matthew shrugs.

"what do you want me to do for you?" you ask gently. you think about reaching out again, maybe to run your hand over his arm reassuringly - or caress his face as you tried to ease him into a less overwhelmed state, but you decide against it.

"I just want you to be with me," he admits quietly, "can we just watch a movie or something?"

you nod instantly. you do touch him this time, but he is the one who initiates the contact - grabbing on to your hand gently to guide you over to his unmade bed. you're thankful it's not too light in his bedroom, because you blush at the feeling of his hand in yours.

matthew pulls back the already flailed blanket, allowing you to climb into the mess of bedding and get comfortable before he makes his entrance.

he sits back against his headboard as he scrolls through options on netflix. wordlessly, he chooses 13 going on 30, which you think is a bit odd - but you've always loved the jennifer garner rom-com, so you weren't complaining.

the start of the film begins to play quietly and matthew sinks down into the pillows. he rolls towards you and pushes himself into the side of your torso.

you instantly feel hot. you thank your past self for choosing sleep shorts to go with your long sleeve top, because you would've died from overheating if you choose sweatpants. he throws his arm across your belly, hand reaching up to rest against your rib cage - you hope he can't feel your heart beating too hard. matthew pushes his knee under your leg, effectively sliding between you and the mattress - your leg now resting on top his.

you stay still, too worried that if you move or speak you'll wake up from a dream - a dream in which that this was a normal activity for somebody and their best friend to do. it's not that you and matthew were never touchy, as he would often find your hand in large crowds so he didn't loose you, or hug you in greetings and partings - but very rarely did you cuddle.

"can you tickle my arm?" he mumbles into your shirt, "your nails feel nice."

his request has your spiraling thoughts coming to a halt. his gentle tone and sweet question immediately has you smiling, your body relaxing  into his - "of course," you mumble, raising your hand until your nails can run gently over his arm.

matthew sighs happily, tiny goosebumps prickling on his skin. you smile bigger at the sight just as matthew tucks his head further up your body, the top resting against your collarbone. you let your head fall against his, your eyes trained on the movie.

it's obvious why matthew picked one of your preferred movies as you feel his breathing slow down - looking to see his eyes closed shut and his lips parted to release soft breaths.

matthew just needed his best friend.

although you wish you were his girlfriend coming to his aid - you're just happy matthew feels close enough to you in the relationship you do have.

in his sleep, matthew moans briefly, adjusting his hand so it scoops under your back to cradle you against his body. between his peaceful expression and the warmth of his body laying on yours - you know in that moment it isn't just a crush on you're best friend: you're falling in love with him.

Part Four (A): july 4th weekend

"I hate this," you huff, standing up straight and tossing your hands on your hips.

janie laughs from somewhere on the campsite at your words, but you don't feel like laughing along. you're sweating because of the sweltering arizona heat and you're frustrated from the task at hand.

your tent is only half up, and putting that side up was a challenge. you hear somebody approach you from behind, and you turn to look over your shoulder to see matthew. he drops one of the cooler's at the picnic bench beside your deflated tent and he laughs gently.

you squint at him, "it's not funny. i'm going to have to sleep outside because my tent won't be built."

he tuts his tongue at you, taking one of the long metal rods sticking out of the pile. "you're so dramatic." immediately, he begins to expertly thread the pole through the tents openings. the heat has you feeling flustered, and watching matthew's long fingers navigate the metal wasn't helping...at all.

you scoff, "you love my dramatics, matty, don't pretend it bothers you now."

he doesn't look away from your tent, but he smiles anyways. "yeah yeah, can you grab me another pole? and start bringing the pins over as well - since you're just standing there."

you scrunch your nose up and drop your hands from your hips. "i'll grab you a pole alright."

your grumble has him laughing as you turn on your heels and walk away, gathering the rest of the parts to bring them closer to your tent - which now is beginning to look more functional.

you place them where matthew is working, dropping down to a squat beside his crouched position. he sends you a playful look out of the corner of his eye, "now you want to work?"

you shrug, threading a different pole through the polyester loops. "what kind of friend would I be if I made you do all the work on my tent?"

logan passes with an armful of firewood. he drops the pile of logs into the designated fire pit, already preparing for the night before noon has even hit.

for this fourth of july weekend, you had all decided you wanted to do some sort of camping trip. old fashioned camping - completed with tents and smores and picnic benches. thankfully, there were a couple high rated camp sites around the scottsdale area that had vacancy, and you all had packed two of your cars full for a weekend vacation.

"kniesy, you dick, you're supposed to be putting up our tent - never mind y/n's," logan teases as he passes again, gently nudging his foot against your strained calf - which makes you sway, loosing some of your balance.

"go like set up the grill or something," you tell the blond after you flip him the bird, "before I decide to kill you and throw your body in the lake."

"gruesome," logan says. he does what you suggested though, and you catch a glimpse of him unloading the portable barbecue before you turn back to the tent.

"okay," matthew says, pushing off his knees and into a standing position. "you stay on this side while I pull on the support strings and start to hammer them in- I just need you to keep it straight."

"aye aye captain," you salute, pushing yourself to stand just as he did moments prior.

he chuckles under his breath, moving around to the first side of the tent he needed to secure into the ground.

you watch him work with a soft gaze. the way he kneels in the dirt to ensure he's got the tent pulled in a way it won't collapse - watch as his tongue darts out as he concentrates on nailing in the pins. you're sure there's a look on your face that would warrant questions if somebody caught you - but you don't care.

"is it straight?" matthew asks, eyes glancing up in your direction. he catches you admiring him and you clear your throat, looking away with a few quick blinks.

"yeah! all good," you tell him. matthew just smirks at you before finishing building your tent.

a while later, while the afternoon sun is still beating down on your bare shoulders, april suggests you all head to the water for a quick swim. obviously you agree, quickly changing into your bathing suit.

you're all almost near the mini beach, saved for daniel who opted to stay back and watch over the campsite, when matthew falls into line with you - his bare arm brushing against yours as you walk side by side. his pinky runs along yours discreetly, his much larger finger almost hooking yours.

the sun reflected off his tan and toned body, the light accenting the ripples of his strong muscles: abs, biceps, triceps and everything in between.

"i'll race you," matthew says, breaking the quiet tension that had built between you as you both reach the sandy beach.

you look up at him to find a challenging grin on his face - a teasing sparkle in his bright eyes.

"matty," you start, "we aren't kids - besides, it's busy! all these people we'd have to avoid...." you trail off, gesturing to the crowded beach. "...it's a shame they will all have to watch you loose."

you take off, dropping your tote bag as you make a mad dash towards the water.

you hear matthew laugh loudly behind you, surely already beginning to run in your direction. you weave between the bodies throughout the sand, muttering apologies as you approach the water.

you laugh as you miraculously make it into the warm water, just beating matthew in your foot race because of your (cheating) head start. you slow as you go deeper into the lake, turning your body back around just to watch matthew splash into the lake, his body slowly disappearing under the surface as he follows your trail.

on the shore you see your friends laughing in their own world, setting out towels and the umbrella and their few trinkets - janie with her book and april with her phone. briefly, you wonder if one of them had grabbed your bag from where you abandoned it.

the water ripples against you skin as matthew reaches you, his smile an instant distraction from your tote that you suddenly couldn't care less about in his presence. "you tricked me." he states, hands running through the water, sending more sploshes up your tummy.

you shrug innocently, "did I? or are you just slow..."

he splashes some water at you, wetting your bikini top and shoulders. matthew laughs loudly as you screech from the sudden cold temperature, trying to turn your back on his attack.

"I let you win," matthew says after he splashes you once more.

you turn to face him slowly, still weary of any more water he may send your way. "is that so?" you ask lightly. there's a mischievous grin on your face that matthew knows too well - and his suspicions are confirmed when you begin to splash water back at him, drenching his face and hair.

you giggle as he wipes his face, the same hand sliding up and pushing his dark hair away from his face. the water making his brown locks look even darker. "I let you win and this is how you repay me?"

you shrug again. you don't want to feel chilled, so you drop your shoulders into the water so that your whole body is under the water's cool surface - saved for your neck and head. "yeah - can't think of a better way to show my gratefulness." you tease him.

matthew follows suit and submerges his upper body in the lake. he moves impossibly closer to your body - the water providing a privacy in the public setting. with that in mind, he reaches for you, grabbing your leg to gently drag you through the last bit of water left between your bodies.

you gulp nervously as your leg rest's on him. he doesn't let you go, holding your thigh against his hip while your other leg slips between his own two. you can't find the strength to look away from his gaze - not even concerned if you're friends are eyeing you two suspiciously.

"I can think of a way you can show your gratefulness." matthew whispers, hand moving up your thigh in the water until he reaches your bikini bottoms, fingers moving along your ass cheek and slightly slipping beneath the edge of your bathing suit.

"matty..." you breath. his chest heaves with air as he stares down at you - your cheeks slightly sunburnt to give you a permanent sun kissed glow. your lips plump and pink, dark eyelashes wet and making your eyes look even bigger as you blink prettily up at him.

you hear janie and logan laugh as they get into the water, only a few meters away from your and matthew's intertwined bodies. it has you coming to reality, pushing away from matthew to create an appropriate amount of space between you all while trying to appear nonchalant.

logan was too busy trying to sneak attack you to dunk your head under to notice the tension between you and matthew - janie distracted by logan. your and matthew's touching flying under the radar once again.

after a little more swimming and trying to cool your body down from your sensual encounter with matthew - you all decide to lay in the sun for a little bit longer before heading back to the campsite: saving daniel from his lonesome.

daniel has just got the fire started when you all get back from the beach: the warmth of the flames sooth your chilled damp skin. regardless of the warmth, you slip into your tent to grab a hoodie to further keep you from feeling cold.

logan and matthew had just started the grill when you emerge back outside. logan was preparing the frozen patties for cooking, while matthew was cleaning the grill's top with the metal bristled brush - his biceps flexing with each movement on the bars.

"hey, y/n, wanna help me with the salad?" janie asks from the picnic table. her voice has you quickly looking away from your friends arms and over to her - janie eyeing you playfully as she chops through some cherry tomatoes.

"yeah," you hum, taking a seat across from her. you can feel her still giving you that teasing look, so you busy yourself with slicing through the sticks of celery - cubing them because you know matthew prefers them that way - to avoid her gaze.

a moment later, you hear the brunette sigh, tossing her tomatos and shredded leaves into the red serving bowl. "so," she begins, "what were you and matthew talking about."

you eye her, but she has moved her attention to crumbling feta.

janie continues, "in the laker earlier. it seemed..." she pauses, squinting in thought as she tried to think of her wording - "intense." she settles on, feta clinging to her fingers.

you hum nonchalantly, scooping the cubed celery into your palms and dropping it into the salad. "did it?"

she nods suspiciously, "yeah, and i've been thinking about how the past few years something between you two has seemed rather intense - since college. what's up with that?"

she is talking relatively quiet, but you still glance over your shoulder to make sure nobody is listening - the three boys are laughing around the grill, completely oblivious.

when you meet your friends eyes again, she quirks an eyebrow in your direction knowingly. janie is looking at you like she knows you're deepest darkest secret - not just about the casual hookups between you, but also your feelings for matthew.

you should've known janie would figure it out sooner or later. when you moved to arizona and started at the new highschool, not only had you become close with matthew, but you had become just as close with janie. you were instantly drawn to her bubbly personality and confidence - she was your best girl friend. if you weren't with matthew - you were with the small brunette girl.

as she looks at you, she's not even working on cutting up vegetables for the salad - her full attention is on you.

you don't feel like hiding anymore. "janie," you sigh sadly, hands dropping the knife so you can cover your cheeks, "I have to tell you something."

she huffs happily, leaning further over the picnic table. "spill."

then, quietly and with a much detail as you can manage, you tell your friend everything. you start with when you realized you had feelings for matthew in freshman year and when the crush turned into love. you tell janie about your and matthew's pact about loosing your virginities and then turning 18 and having sex for the first time - about how your relationship turned into one with benefits and how you were still falling deeper in love with matthew.

she listenes intently, every so often making sure the guys are busy and not eavesdropping on your private confession - which you were thankful for as you were way too distracted with your own beating heart to notice if there were prying ears.

when you finish, ending on your brief conversation in the lake that afternoon, janie smiles at you softly. "I had a feeling there was something going on - but I didn't realize you were in love with him."

"really?" you laugh in disbelief, "I thought I was being obvious at times."

she hums in thought, mixing the dressing into the fresh salad. "if anything, I thought it was the other way around. like if it was matthew here telling me he loved you - I wouldn't be suprised."

her words are similar to a punch in the gut, but instead of pain it's a wave of hopefulness and excitement. "what?" you question gently, "what do you mean?"

she laughs gently, "this whole time I thought that he's had a secret crush on you. he's been so touchy with you, and he's always looking at you all cute and blah," she says, "it makes sense now - you've been hooking up."

and now it feels like a punch, you think. matthew was only looking at you and teasing you and touching you in a way that could be construed as being in love because he knew you'd give him sex. and like you've already comes to terms with that - you're okay with that. you love matthew, of course, not just romantically but as your best friend. so as long as he was happy with your arrangement, and still felt comfortable telling you everything and anything like you two have always done - you were happy.

"you're right with that," you tell janie. you reach into the cooler pulled open on the picnic bench, cracking open a white claw to take a gulp. "but seriously, i'm fine with this. i'm used to the unrequited love thing with him, trust me."

she gives you one more smile, "okay, as long as you're okay then i'm okay."

"care for some meat in your buns?" logan says loudly, approaching the picnic bench with a paper plate loaded with burgers. matthew and daniel follow behind him, both laughing like little kids at their friend's attempt at a dirty joke.

"don't be gross," janie stands, grabbing the plate to set it next to the condiments on the other side of the salad and cooler.

you watch as daniel thanks his girlfriend with a kiss on the cheek, making janie smile brightly as she opens the bun bag.

you're hit with a momentary wave of longing as you watch your friend so happy with the man she loves, and you wish it was like that with you and matthew - despite knowing he would never want that with you.

logan, ever the flirt, kisses your cheek loudly and then rounds to the other side of the wooden bench to give janie the same one. "thanks for the salad ladies, love you both." he plops down beside daniel and starts to load his plate with some macoroni salad.

you laugh gently while daniel starts playfully yelling at logan about kissing his girlfriend. subconsciously, you use your shoulder to wipe the cheek your friend had smooched.

matthew sits down next to you, definitely too close for just friends. now that janie knows though, you don't feel to worried about the proximity, letting his leg push up against yours underneath the table.

"you want a burger?" matthew asks you, his hand circling on your lower back.

you nod, "yeah, thanks. just one."

he reaches down the table towards the end farthest away, grabbing your burger and two for himself - he even dresses yours exactly how you love it, which obviously has you smiling. in thanks, you serve him his salads - matthew too distracted with devouring his first burger to serve himself them.

matthew acknowledges your act of service with his calf wrapping around the front of your shin, pulling your leg to rest between his own under the table. and then when he smiles at you all cheesy between bites of his food - you don't even get disgusted, only feeling fuzzy and tingly all over.

you chug the rest of your white claw.

-

"when do you think the fireworks will start?" logan grunts across the bonfire, shoving a marshmallow on his stick roughly. "it's dark as shit."

janie shushes him and tells him not to swear - a couple little kids laugh in the distance to prove her point.

"soon," you tell him, twisting your metal stick that holds your marshmallow over the flames. the gooey ball slowly turning brown and crispy as you spin it. "patience is key, logan."

"yeah, well, my patience is running thin." logan chimes, pushing his own stick into the fire.

matthew laughs beside you, "you don't have patience to begin with."

the blonde scoffs, "y/n, tell the peanut gallery to quiet down."

you and matthew giggle quietly to each other at your friends annoyance. you let your arm bump into his bicep on your shared bench, head briefly resting against his shoulder as you laugh.

your marshmallow catches fire, and you smile victoriously. you pull it out from the bonfire and up to your mouth. the flame from the treat is hot on your face, but you blow it out quickly, leaving you with a melted and charred marshmallow. "alright, matty, i'm ready for the sandwich."

matthew praises your perfectly burnt marshmallow. "yes ma'am," he teases. you watch as he brings his arms up, a graham cracker with a square of chocolate in each hand, clutched between his fingers. you watch as he smooshes the marshmallow between the crackers, smoothly pulling the gooey sticky treat off the stick.

he smiles, "and there you go," matthew hands you the campfire treat, "take a bite of that and tell me it's not the perfectly crafted s'more."

he had been going on about his double deckered s'more since the drive to the campsite - claiming nobody could make the desert as good as he could. you had teased him relentlessly all afternoon about it, so once the fire had gotten started, matthew was quick to get the s'more kit out.

you send him a look, grabbing the s'more and taking a big bite. you feel the marshmallow goo smear onto your lips, graham cracker crumbling to the ground. you chew delicately, matthew watching you the entire time.

you swallow, "it's good."

"just good?" he repeats, eyes widening.

your use your free hand to wipe your mouth, "the best part was the marshmallow - which i contributed. just tasted like a normal s'more with extra chocolate."

he scoffs in disbelief, "which is the best part!"

you scrunch your nose, licking some smeared chocolate from your thumb. "the marshmallow is the best, actually."

he rolls his eyes playfully, "fine." then he dips his head down, taking the rest of your s'more between his teeth and right out of your hand.

you screech, "you better make me another one."

he shakes his head and swallows, "no you didn't like it." he faux's annoyance, turning his face away from you.

"oh my god," you huff.

"can you make me one of your s'mores?" daniel asks from across the small bonfire, leaning forward on his camping chair to catch matthew's eyes.

matthew sighs, "what's the point...my best friend doesn't even like them."

you laugh at his fake huffy tone, "I didn't say I didn't like them!"

he turns back to you, "didn't have to."

you laugh again loudly, and at the sound matthew finally cracks a smile. he throws an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest. "i'm teasing you," you whispers into your hairline.

"had no idea," you tell him playfully, tilting your head up to look him in the eyes. he smirks down at you - one his his hands coming up to your mouth, where he thumbs the missed marshmallow off your lip.

you swallow nervously but continue to look up at him - the sound of your friends laughter and obliviousness to you and matthew fading into the background.

the squeal of a firework has you looking away just in time for the boom to sound throughout the campsite, sparks of red and blue lighting up the sky in the distance.

"fuck yeah," logan cheers, jumping up from his seat, claiming he gets a better viewing angle if he stands.

janie follows suit, phone out to get pictures and videos of the firework show - daniel at her side as all there backs are now turned to the forgotten flames of the bonfire.

as you watch the beautiful lights, you feel matthew squeeze around your shoulders tighter and then he presses a long kiss to the corner of your mouth.

-

you're one of the last ones sitting by the dying fire, your body flushed with the heat and alcohol. still sitting beside you, matthew laughs deeply at something logan says - his shoulder rubs against yours at the movement. you're also laughing at logan's slurred attempt at a joke, and you shush them gently through your giggles.

logan moves to stand, his lean body swaying slightly as his arms reach up over his head in a long stretch. "should probably head to sleep anyways."

"me too." you nod in agreement, "janie will have us all up before 7 for that hike she's been taking about."

both matthew and logan groan at the thought, heads dropping backwards in protest. you roll your eyes but smile, although you're also not looking forward to the early wake up call, the hiking trail looked beautiful and you were looking forward to the scenery - clearly, the boys couldn't care less.

"alright, kniesy, you want the blue sleeping bag or the green one?" logan teases, his fingers working against the zipper of the tent as he glances over his shoulder at you both.

matthew shrugs nonchalantly. he puts out the last tiny gathering of flames in the pit with a jug of lake water. "i'm not sharing with you. i'll share with y/n...she smells better."

his words make you blush. you turn away and busy yourself with cleaning up the collection of alcohol cans littered around the small campsite - tossing them in one of the empty coolers for disposal in the morning.

"dick." logan scoffs playfully, "I wear dior but suit yourself." logan doesn't protest any further, and clambers into his form of shelter, zipping up the tent's entrance behind him - leaving you alone.

you can hear matthew pick up some beer bottles, the glass clanking together in his hands. he clears his throat, "is that okay?"

you hum lightly with question. you don't turn to look at him, too worried about the reaction your body might have now that you're finally alone with matthew after a day of tension.

"that we share a tent? is that okay?" matthew walks up behind you, and he reaches to grab the can in your hand.

you finally meet his eyes as you look back at him. "course it's okay," you say gently. with your hands now free, they itch to reach out and run over his torso, pull him into you and kiss him roughly right there.

"i've got these if you want to head into bed." matthew tells you quietly, tossing more cans into the cooler.

you blink three times, and you swallow with a quick nod. "okay." you start making towards the direction of now your and matthew's shared tent, listening as matthew cleans up the picnic table. you pause, looking over you shoulder.

as if matthew can feel your stare, he glances back at you. he raises his brows with a smirk at your face - clearly on the verge of saying something. before you can talk yourself out of it, you smile teasingly. "i'll make sure I smell real good for you."

matthew grins, straightening his posture as he finishes cleaning the table he'd been hunched over. under the glow of the stars, you can see matthew's face flush at your comment, and knowing your words had affected him in some way have you blushing.

matthew clears his throat, "looking forward to it."

your blush deepens.

you take two steps backward until you feel the polyester entrance of the tent. matthew sends one more seductive smirk in your direction before you spin around, climbing into your tent in an attempt to calm yourself down.

you can hear matthew tidying up the plastic garbage bags while you take a few deep breaths, pressing a hand to your warm forehead in an attempt to stay grounded. your stomach flutters at the mere thought of matthew coming into the tent with you, never mind the ideas that flood your head of what will happen when you two will finally be alone.

you exhale, kicking your sandals off to the side so you don't trek any dirt into the sleeping area. you had already pumped up the air mattress in preparation for sleep. sleeping bags had always made you claustrophobic: so you avoided them.

quickly, you start fluffing the bedding and shoving your things around until it looks somewhat organized. you're not sure why you feeling so nervous, but there's something about what's been brewing that has your chest tightening and mouth drying. maybe it was because you two were technically in public and not alone - or possibly because you hadn't had sex in a few weeks. either way, the thought of matthew had you trembling.

just as you flick the small portable lamp on and the inside of the tent becomes illuminated with a dim glow, you can hear matthew begin to tug on the tent's zipper - he struggles a few times, no doubt from the combination the alcohol and the darkness of the late night.

"fuck me," matthew mutters as he finally steps in. the sound of his voice sends your heart racing, and you smile gently to try and seem calm. the flashlight is shining from his phone and through his front hoodie pocket - he must've just slipped it in there as he entered. "stupid zipper."

you clear your throat, "maybe it's not the zipper that's stupid..." you trail of teasingly, grabbing onto your duffle bag to lug it on top the mattress.

matthew laughs, raising his brows in your direction. "you're just such a bully today."

you purse your lips, digging through your belongings until you find your lemon printed pyjama set. "you're still bitter because I won the race -"

"by cheating," he reminds you cheekily. matthew must've made a trip to his car after putting the garbage in logan's truck bed, because you see his overnight bag on his arm. he drops it near the foot of the bed with a thud.

"by being smart." you correct him with a hum.

matthew drops down to the mattress beside you, the velvet material puffing under his weight - the movement sends you into his side. now that you're closer, he reaches out slowly, tucking some of your fallen hair behind your ear.

you grip onto your pyjamas to keep yourself present as matthew's eyes bore into yours - a little hazy from the alcohol but they're still the most beautiful eyes you've seen.

his hand moves back, thick fingers threading through strands of hair so he can hold the side of your head, his thumb stroking along your scalp behind your ear.

you think you may have a heart attack. the combination of his intense lustful gaze and his hands on your skin has you squirming.

"you've always been so smart," matthew continues quietly, and his breath tickles against your red cheeks. "expect for s'more knowledge - you're not too smart in that department."

you click your tongue, gently pushing against his peck in protest. "you're such a little shit."

matthew grabs you, his warm palm wrapping around your wrist so you're unable to pull your hand away from his chest. "I miss you," he tells you through an exhale, his finger stroking along the pulspoint on your wrist.

you hope he can't feel how fast your heart is beating. you swallow gently, and your free hand slides up his leg, resting right against the thick muscle above his knee. "i'm right here," you whisper.

matthew nods once, "I know."

the tone of his words seems off, but he doesn't leave you room to question it. matthew leans in, mouth capturing yours in a long awaited kiss. the little moments of tension throughout the day had finally spilled over as his lips slide against yours.

all nerves you'd been feeling disappear at the familiarity of his kiss and you sigh into his mouth pleasantly. slowly, your hand slips up towards his face. matthew allows you to move, releasing his grip on your wrist so you can cradle his jawline with both of your hands.

with his now free hand, matthew grabs onto your waist, fingers curling into your skin as he begins to guide your body backwards - slowly, as if not startle you or rush you.

matthew keeps your lips connected until your back hits the rubber mattress, continuing his delicious assault on your mouth as you fall into a horizontal position. the air mattress squeaks and puffs under the change in position - typically a comical sound, but with the way matthew's lips trial down your jaw and continue down to your jugular, you don't find it humorous. you're too distracted from the wet kisses on your skin and the weight of his body on yours.

matthew pauses where your neck meets your collarbone, nipping at your sunkissed skin before soothing the sting out with his tongue, licking a flat strip over every bite. the feeling has you panting quietly, your hands raking through his thick brown locks. he sucks on to your sweet spot, right in the pit of your collarbone, and your grip tightens - illiciting a moan from matthew.

"lift your hips for me, baby," his command is whispered against the shell of your ear, pressing a kiss there, which sends a shiver through your body.

you do as he requested, lifting your lower half off the bed. you core bumps against his crotch, matthew's semi bumping your bundle of nerves perfectly - the contact sends a moan tumbling past your puffy lips.

matthew hisses, "fuck can't do that baby - feels too good." he pushes off your body, leaning back to rest against his heels.

your smirk, thrusting your hips into the air involuntarily - searching for the friction he had provided just moments before.

matthew reaches towards you, hands landing on your hip bones. he curses, two of his fingers hooking the waistband of your bottoms, tugging them down in one rough pull.

instinctively, your legs fall open wider, exposing your bare core further for matthew. your body was clearly ready for whatever was to come next - you feel yourself clench around nothing at the thought.

the dim light catches you, and matthew smirks at the sight your pussy glistening with arousal. "fuck," he curses again. two of his thick fingers slide through your folds, playing and gathering your wetness and spreading it up to your clit. "already so wet for me."

you whine, "please, matty - don't tease. I need you so bad." his fingers prode at your dripping entrance and you sigh pleasantly, tugging your lip between your teeth as you watch him move. matthew slips a finger inside and your back arches off the mattress, mouth falling open in a silent moan.

"feel good, baby?" he question, pumping into you lazily - hitting all the right places and nerves that could have you coming in seconds.

you moan again, "I need you inside me."

"yeah, okay," matthew breaths, pulling his fingers from your entrance with a squelch. he makes you suck your arousal off his digits - watching you blissfully and mouth hung open as your tongue swirls along his fingers.

matthew stands up, quickly shoving his pants down his thick thighs. he's left naked from the waist down, only left in his maroon hoodie.

the sight of that has you giggling, biting on your thumb to try and contain your wave of laughter.

matthew laughs as he pulls his sweatshirt over his head in one swift motion - leaving him bare in the privacy of your tent. any and all previous laughter comes to a halt, and you admire his naked form shamelessly. he's always been so sexy, you think. with a broad strong chest and defined abs, accompanied by his thick arms and legs - he was the epitome of perfect.

"fuck," you swear, "come back here."

he listens to you request, naked body soon hovering over you. "shit," matthew curses gently after a quick press to your lips. "I don't have condoms." he tells you, pushing himself further above you with one arm. affectionately, his other hand strokes the hair away from your face.

you shake your head and bring your lower lip into your mouth again - knawing on the swollen skin. "I don't care," you admit to him quitley.

matthew's face lights up, and his brows raise in a silent question. "you sure?"

you shrug with a small smile, "I mean, I haven't like been with anyone in awhile- and i'm clean...if you're-"

"i'm clean," he interrupts you gently.

you stomach swoops with a mix of nervousness and excitement. the lips you had once been knawing at is released with a quiet pop - a wide grin breaking out on your face.

matthew takes the bruised coloured lip between his, licking the skin before bringing you into another kiss. your lips crash together passionately, brushing over one another in a way that makes your body feel like it's on fire. your heart is palpating in your chest when matthew's hand leaves your hair, trailing down your body until it reaches your bare hipbone.

his warm hands slides up, pushing your hoodie towards your chest with his fingers. he breaks the kiss momentarily, matthew's chest heaving against yours as he tries to catch his breath. "arch your back for me."

"m'kay," you hum, lifting your lower back offthe mattress. with the space under you, matthew pulls your hoodie off your torso, pulling it over you head and throwing it towards your duffle bag that had been pushed off the bed - sitting upside down on the polyester floor.

now left in only a yellow printed bikini top, nipples pebbled underneath the thin damp material. matthew's tongue darts out to wet his lower lip, and he rips away the cups from your breasts, revealing you completely. "fuck, you're so pretty." he mumbles.

"matty, please fuck me." you whimper, hooking your leg around the curve of his hip, locking yourself in place against him. you tug him down gently, his hard on bumping your bare core roughly.

you moan in unison at the friction. matthew answers you by gripping his throbbing dick in his fist and he pumps himself a few times, readying himself for your warmth. he lines the tip of himself with your hole, gently sliding his head through your dripping wet folds - bumping your clit until your whining.

"matty," you whine. "please."

his head slides into you, slowly, your pussy pulling him in naturally. the full feeling was so beautifully overwhelming, and you push your head further into the pillow under you, mouth falling open in pleasure.

you mewl at his dick filling you, "so much," you mumble, hands blindly finding the edge of your pillow case until you can grip onto it - grounding yourself. "always so much."

"shh... just a little bit more, baby," matthew soothes you, his hand coming up from between your bodies to untangle your hand from the pillow. he interlocks his fingers with yours, squeezing his hand in yours as he slides into you fully.

"oh my- shit," you curse, eyes darting down as matthew begins to thrust into your pussy. your free hand shoots up to hold onto his thick shoulder, keeping yourself in place as the pace begins to pick up.

"god, you feel so fucking good." he moans, leaning down so his lips capture yours. the kiss is more heavy breathing and exploring tongues than anything else, but it all feels too damn good to care.

matthew breaks the kiss, his forehead pressing against yours. his hips and dick continuing to thrust into you at the speed and pressure you love so much.

in that moment, you think how easy it would be for you to tell him you love him. the way he keeps his eyes trained on your face, or the way he touches you so delicately - it's almost impossible to not to slip up and say something. his skilled kisses and forceful thrusts into you, it's all too much.

"you okay, baby?" he huffs, eyes locking on yours as he continues thrusting.

you nod, pushing your lips on his once more. your stomach tingles when matthew immediately kisses you back. he untangles your intertwined hands in favour of reaching between your bodies again, thumbing your sensitive clit.

you moan loudly, "fuck, keep doing that." he silences your noises with a quick peck, continuing the double stimulation on your pussy.

in the three years of having casual sex with matthew, he has come to know your body very well - including when you're going to finish. he feels the way your walls begin to clamp down on his dick, as is if you were trying to pull him deeper into you. your grip on his shoulder tightens, your nails no doubt leaving creasing shaped indents on his tan skin.

matthew watches the way your face changes, an intense blissful expression taking over.

"i'm gunna..."

"I know, fuck, cum on my dick." he grunts between thrusts.

the coil in your stomach snaps at his command, and you release on him - your juices flowing from your weeping hole and wetting his lower region.

with three more hard thrusts, matthew moans, pushing into you as he finishes. you feel his cum coat your insides, thick ropes of semen spilling from his head and covering your sticky walls.

matthew grabs a hold of your hip, gently pushing down as he slowly pulls himself out of you. "shit," he curses, watching the way his cum drips from you, pooling against your ass and spilling onto the mattress. "you okay, y/n/n?"

you nod tiredly with a faint smile on your puffy lips, pushing up onto your elbows. "i'm okay," you confirm. "can you get me my pyjamas? I think I threw them on the floor earlier."

matthew laughs gently, "yeah." he crawls off your body, and you admire his naked ass as he walks over to the opposite of the bed to your tipped bag. he picks up your lemon set, tossing them at you gently. "you don't want to naked cuddle?"

you giggle, pulling on your top and buttoning it together. "janie will be in here early - can't have her seeing us naked."

he shrugs, pulling his boxer briefs back up his legs. "nothing wrong with a bit of nakedness."

you squawk, "maybe I don't want her to see you naked."

matthew brings his bottom lip between his teeth, smirking down at you as you pull your shorts on. "why? you'd be jealous?"

"more like embarrassed," you tease.

"hey!" he laughs, crawling back over your body to capture your laughing mouth in another kiss.

Part Four (B):

the summer breeze blows your sundress against your knees, the soft fabric tickling your legs. you sway with the warm air, eyes dancing over the busy park as you wait for matthew to return.

you watch him make his way over, a bright smile on his face as he weaves through walking adults and hyper kids. the sight has you breaking out into a grin, your previously crossed arms falling to your sides just as he reaches you. "and one vanilla cone for a pretty girl."

"why thank you kind sir," you tease with a light giggle. you waste no time, licking a flat strip up the sweet ice cream, moaning gently as the cool desert melts in your mouth.

matthew chuckles at the sound, tongue wrapping around his own cone. "good?"

"mhm!" you mumble in answer, your mouth full of ice cream.

matthew smiles, licking some more chocolate desert off his cone. he grabs your hand in his much warmer palm, interlocking your fingers together as you continue to stroll further into the arizona park.

the bright sun shines over the area, illuminating the vibrant leaves on the trees and the colourful flower beds that sat at every stump and bush. the scene is so relaxing and peaceful, like something from a painting.

matthew has always looked so amazing in the summer, you think. his hair becomes lighter, and he always bulks back up from the end of season weight loss. you watch as his muscles contract under his white shirt, and the sight has your mouth watering. you distract yourself by eating some more of your treat.

"you okay?" he squeezes your hand, "want some chocolate ice cream?"

"i'm fine," you say, "I do want some though - give me a lick." matthew holds his cone out infront of your face, and you grip his wrist to steady his hand while you taste some of his ice cream - taking a good sized amount of chocolate on your tongue.

you smile, pleased, and release your grip - once he pulls back, matthew eyes you suspiciously. "you sure you're okay? you looked pretty deep in thought for a minute there."

"just thinking about how delicious my ice cream is!" you say lightly, sending matthew an overly large grin in hopes to throw him off your track - it fails.

"y/n." he deadpans.

you moan gently, head falling to matthew's bicep. "fine! honestly i'm thinking about how pretty you look in this sunshine."

a fond smile makes its way onto his face, "you're such a sap."

"hey," you scoff, pulling away from matthew's touch. "don't be an asshole, I was trying to be nice and compliment you - I take it back."

"I was joking," he draws out, hands reaching back out for you, "come here." matthew successfully grabs onto your wrist, pulling you back into his space. he then wraps his arm around your shoulders, keeping your body tucked into him as you leisurely walk along.

you pout largely and mumble, "better be."

matthew laughs breathily at your exaggerated facial expression, and he brushes his lips against your sweaty hairline in an apology.

you walk in silence for a few minutes, taking in the busy park while you and matthew finish off your respective ice cream cones. it's moments like this that you cherish so much with your best friend. the moments of complete silence, where the two of your just enjoy each others presence without words. one of the reasons you love matthew so much is because how comfortable he makes you, no matter where you are or what you're doing.

eventually, you take a deep inhale, breaking the silence between you. "thanks for the ice cream, matty. and for bringing me here."

he shrugs nonchalantly, "of course. I feel like we haven't spent time together, just us, in sooooo long. wanted to be with my favourite person."

your face heats up instantly and you smirk teasingly, gazing up at him fondly. "look who's the sap now." you nudge your elbow deeper into his side, and then wrap that arm around his waist so he can't pull away from you.

"oh okay," matthew sighs, "I see how it is."

"i'm kidding," you sing song, laughing gently. your free hand comes up to grab his fingers on the hand that was dangling of your sundress covered shoulders. "dish it but can't take it, matty?"

matthew slows in his steps, making you both come to a gradual stop. he grabs your waist, spinning your body to completely face his as you stand still in the middle of the park. "you're impossible, y/n/n." matthew says with a grin. he takes one hand and reaches for your face, your warm summer flush being covered by his palm.

"shut up," you say through a smile, "you're the impossible one."

"mhm," matthew hums quietly, thumb stroking along your cheek bone as he holds you. you watch the way his eyes move over your face gently, staring at all your freckles and moles, down to your lips and back up to your bright eyes. matthews tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, his fond expression indicating he didn't really hear what you said - too distanced by....you.

you swallow gently, your own eyes never once straying from his face as he studies you. you feel unbearably warm under his gaze, heat bubbling in your blood in the best possible way.

matthew's right hand comes up to brush against the other side of your face, holding you between his large palms. on instinct, you touch his hips, your delicate fingers dusting along the linen fabric of his shirt.

he finds your eyes once more, holding your gaze for a long moment. that fond look had yet to disappear, and if anything it become more prevalent when your eyes locked.

you think you might gasp, or swear or pass out - you're not sure, but your head is spinning with love and happiness under matthew's stare.

you're not sure if you should say anything. you think of maybe asking him if he's okay, but your words die on your tongue when matthew licks his lips again, wetting the plump skin in a way that makes them even more desirable.

a beat passes, and then matthew finally closes the gap between you and captures your lips in his. the pressure is comforting and the way he sucks your top lip into his mouth expertly had your knees feeling weak - gripping onto his waist to keep yourself upright.

the kiss doesn't last long enough before matthew is pulling away - mindful of the busy public setting and the people bustling around the park. you sigh at the loss of contact, and at the sound of your disappointment matthew leans back in, stealing one more chaste kiss.

"you taste like vanilla," matthew says cheekily, he's still holding your face, keeping you close in his space.

you scrunch your nose up, the skin crinkling in the middle of of your face. matthew smiles at the sight. slowly, he releases your face, hands coming down to interlock your fingers once again - tugging on your hand as he begins to walk again.

"you taste like dusty waffle cone." you say, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

matthew chuckles, "you love my dusty waffle cone." he swings your intertwined hands between your bodies, his knuckles brushing the soft material of your sundress with every pass.

you take a long breath in, smiling gently - the scent of peonies and roses invading your senses pleasantly. you look towards matthew and find him already smiling at you.

you shrug at his statement, "I prefer sweet."

his smiles widens, "good thing i'm sweet enough without the ice cream then, huh?"

matthew's teasing has you blushing all the way to your chest and up your ears, nibbling on your lip in an attempt to contain your grin. "good thing."

matthew's smile softens slightly, but the look of amusement never leaves his eyes. he tugs your arm, "c'mon," he says, "let's go get food and then head home - i've been having an urge to binge american pie."

"deal," you smile, "but only if we get pizza."

matthew groans in agreement, "you've got a deal."

Part Four (C): halloween, sophomore year UNI

"whoops," you mumble, arms held out to regain your shaky balance after almost falling over. normally you'd blame your stumbling on the uneven concrete outside your residence building, but the margarita's pumping through your blood were definitely the reason tonight.

"careful," matthew laughs, a strong arm reaching out to grasp on to your waist. one of your devil wings stabs into his ribs, but because of his own alcohol intake, matthew doesn't seem to feel it. "did you want me to come up with you?"

you hum with contemplation, slowing in your steps as you approach the glass doors of residence. "think i'll be okay..." you smirk, spinning in his arms so fast it makes you momentarily dizzy. "unless you want to fuck."

matthew laughs, "we are both too drunk." he's almost suprised at his own common sense - even furrows his brows after he finishes the scentence.

"you're right," it's a sigh from your lips, and you fall forward into his chest, arm circling around his waist over the angel costume. "at least a kiss before I go?"

matthew smirks at your pouty face, your chin pressed between his pecks as you stare up at him. wordlessly, he grabs a hold of your face and kisses you.

the kiss is a little messy, and the flavours of your respective drinks mix between your shared silvia. regardless, it still has your blood pumping in your ears and matthew grinning against your mouth - both of you too drunk to care.

when he pulls away, his eyes are droopy with sleep and lust. "y/n/n," he whispers, "can I tell you something."

"always," you slur.

he brushes over the top of your head, smoothing your frizzy curls. "I purposely rejected girls last year so that i'd loose my virginity to you....because I only wanted it to be you. I've never wanted anyone the way I want you."

too drunk to disect his words, you smile clueless, pressing a chaste kiss to the palm of his hand. "I wanted it to be you too."

matthew, who is also too drunk to take in your words or understand his own, smiles cheekily. "wanna get frozen yogurt tomorrow?"

you gasp, "yes!"

the next afternoon when you both wake up, neither of you get frozen yogurt because neither of you remember the conversation.

Part Five:

something has definitely changed between you and matthew. maybe it was just in your head, but ever since the kiss you shared in the park a few week prior, there has been a shift between you.

touches lingered longer, eyes swam with newfound confidence and when he would kiss you, he would do it just for the purpose of kissing. it wouldn't lead to sex or a heated make out, matthew would simply just kiss you hello and goodbye or after a teasing remark.

and sure, it's not that matthew would only kiss you when he wanted sex before that - but it was never for no reason. the park kiss was the first time you felt loved by matthew and when he kissed you because he just felt like it.

you think maybe there's a possibility something was blooming between you. a small chance that matthew had feelings for you - that he loved you.

"hey," matthew whispers, hand squeezing your thigh to grab your attention. "you okay?"

you blink, looking away from the tiny airplane window and over to your friend. you nod, "i'm okay," matthew's eyes scan your features quickly, but you catch his worried eyes - sending a reassuring smile. "just trying to remember if I packed my toothbrush." you lie easily.

matthew seems to buy it, laughing gently into your shoulder. "if you did, i'll buy you a new one."

you smile, and your arms snake around his bicep in a hug. "better be one of those expensive electric ones if that's the case." you tease quietly. matthew laughs again, his arm flexing under your hands.

"anything you want."

only a week after your ice cream date in the park, matthew had asked if you wanted to come with him to toronto for a week. he said that around august every year, the guys started to get back into the groove of things, so he was thinking of heading back for a brief visit before moving back for the season.

when you asked why he wanted you to come, he said he wanted his favourite person to meet his toronto family, which obviously sent you into a loving spiral. it was enough for you to agree, packing your bags and accompanying your best friend to canada a week later.

you find yourself turning to look out the window once again, the CN tower looking back at you from a few miles in the distance. a wave of excitement floods you, and your turn back to matthew.

"i'm excited to meet everyone," you admit. one of your hands move from his arm to grab his hand that was on your leg, palm coming down on the top of his hand. "can't wait for them to tell me how much of pest you are in the locker room."

he scoffs playfully, "the only reason you want to see everyone is so that you can talk shit?... I should've known better."

you laugh, hiding your face in matthew's broad shoulder. he smiles at the sound, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. you smile into his shirt at the feeling, letting your brain run wild with feelings.

"are you sure it's okay that i'm staying with you?"

"course," matthew hums, "john and aryne are so excited to meet you. aryne has already said how stoked she is to have a girl in the house for a week."

that has you grinning, squeezing his hand happily. "I can't believe i'm going to meet an nhl superstar," you whisper giddy.

matthew quirks a brow, "you've met me. I thought I was an nhl superstar?"

"you'll still be my favourite," you trail off, tilting your head up so brush your lips against his, giving matthew a chaste kiss.

'attention passengers, we will be making our descend to toronto pearson international airport now - please ensure you remain seated and keep your seatbelts buckled until landing."

matthew pulls away from your kiss, giving your thigh another assuring squeeze.

—

"no way!" you grin, your knife slowing is it cuts through your piece of saucy chicken, "what did you do?" you asked amused, stabbing your food before bringing it to your mouth.

aryne tavares swallows her mouthful of water, placing the glass down gently. "well, I panicked for sure! I ushered axton to go with steph, and handed the baby to jake's wife. then I ran after jace! he sure is small but god did his small legs outrun me."

you laugh lightly, slowly chewing your piece of chicken before swallowing. "that's sweet though, regardless."

"I know," she smiles sweetly, eating some of her own honey garlic seasoned meat.

beside you, matthew laughs as well, shoving another mouthful of rice in his mouth. "he made me ride home with them because he was worried - held my hand the whole time." he tells you between chews of his food.

you coo, forking some of your crispy potatoes.

aryne and john tavares had picked you up from the pearson airport terminal, and they greeted you like you were apart of their family and have known you for years. immediately, you felt welcomed by the tavares', all of you falling into comfortable conversation on the drive to their home.

you and aryne had cooked dinner together, laughing and talking like the two of you had done it many times before - making a delicious honey garlic glazed chicken with whole grain rice and crisp baby potatoes.

as you all sat down to eat, john and aryne wasted no time jumping into stories about matthew and his first few months in the NHL - including the most recent one that aryne had been sharing: when matthew got his concussion and their son, Jace, had ran through the arena to make sure matthew was okay.

"didn't stop him from whacking me with a mini stick the next morning," matthew teases after your fond coo.

you all laugh gently, not wanting to wake any of the kids from where they slept upstairs - wiped out from spending the day at their grandparents.

"I love that story," you admit fondly, finishing off your portion of perfectly seasoned rice.

"matthew said you would," john muses, sending your friend a knowing glance through his thick dark lashes, a smirk beginning to tug on the captain's mouth.

"did he now?" you tease in matthew's direction, further contributing to the blush rising on matthew's warm face. he chuckles gently, eyes trained on his empty dinner plate to  avoid his captains tease and your soft gaze.

"he talks about you all the time," john continues to tease, laughing as his younger teammate splutters with embarrassment. "think I know more about you than I do about matthew."

aryne scolds her husband with a smile, smacking his arm gently.

"all good things I hope?" you question gently, a hopeful smile tugging your lips upwards as you look around.

matthew clears his throat quickly. "always" he tells you, rubbing along the top of your thigh, his warm palm tickling your exposed skin underneath the dining room table.

you blush, clearing your throat before taking a healthy sip of your water.

—

the weight of matthew's body on top of yours is foolproof. although his full weight isn't on you, the heat of his skin has you feeling amazing.

the spare bedroom popcorn ceiling of the tavares house is staring down at you, bright white and crisp. the room still smells like matthew - like he never left his home in toronto. his clothes still in the closet, and his cologne and old spice deodorant on the dresser.

a smile breaks out on your face at the sight and thought of matthew being so comfortable and happy in toronto, your eyes darting to his as he looks down at you - his own grin playing at his lips.

"I can believe i'm in your room."

his brows pull together ever so slightly, his lips tugging further upwards. "you've seen this room before."

"yeah," you sigh, "but only on facetime. this is different - I love it."

matthew laughs gently, face dipping down to hide in the crook of your neck. his hair tickles your skin, and the tip of his nose nudges against your pulse point. matthew presses his lips on your sweet spot, but instead of kissing you, he blows a raspberry. the feeling has you squirming, a tiny squeal falling form your lips as you laugh - trying to escape the tickle sensation.

he pulls away to look at you, a cheeky smile on his face.

"you're ridiculous," you laugh, pinching the inside of his bicep.

matthew's smile widens, "you love when I do that."

"no I don't." your smile gives you away, and matthew is leaning back in, blowing a quick raspberry on your flushed cheek - eliciting another laugh from you. he soothes the tickle with a quick kiss, turning your face more pink.

"I missed you so much when I was here," matthew says gently, "I can't believe that you're with me right now."

you blink in suprise, a fond smile blooming on your lips. "nowhere else i'd rather be."

he quirks a brow up playfully, "than with me?"

"no," you deadpan, "this bed. god, that nhl money really gets you the expensive mattresses, huh?" you tease, stretching your arms over your head in an exaggerated stretching motion.

matthew tongues his cheek with a grin before using one of his hands to tickle your exposed under arm. you squeak again, bringing your arms down quickly.

a moment passes, and then matthew is holding your cheek, his face coming down again but this time to kiss you softly. like usual, your stomach swoops, the feeling of his lips tenderly pressing into yours nothing short of perfect.

he pulls away an inch and then presses one more long kiss to your lips. you sigh pleasantly, eyes fluttering open to meet his blue ones again.

in between your spread legs, you feel matthew's dick twitch through his lulu shorts, right against your core. he groans quietly, "you know how many times i've jerked off in this bed thinking about sex with you?"

a mix of a laugh and gasp passes your lips, "matty! that's so gross."

he laughs amused, "and you love it."

you really do.

"so, what? i'm just laying in your cum? you're nasty." you laugh again, covering your face with in the crook of your elbow.

gently, he tugs your arm away, revealing your face to him once more. "my cum is literally in you."

you shush him, burning a deep burgundy all over.

"hey," matthew starts, "tomorrow I was thinking we could go around the city? do all that shitty tourist stuff until our heads explode. then tomorrow night, mitch and steph are having a get together at this club, thought we could go. then you can meet everyone else."

you smile brightly as you listen to matthew, enjoying the way he absentmindedly plays with the baby hairs around your face, pushing them off your forehead as he talks. "sounds perfect," you hum once he finishes.

matthew's smiles and he nods, pressing two quick kisses to your lips.

—

matthew woke you up at 7 a.m. the next morning, claiming you two had to get to the aquarium before the tourists did - when you reminded him that the two of you are also tourists, he shushed you quickly, making you laugh as his index finger pressed to your lips.

like he said he would, matthew took you around the whole city. he showed you the most iconic tourist spots in toronto - like the CN tower and museum, as well as bringing you to leafs square and showing you all his favourite spots. all day, matthew was so bubbly and happy showing you everywhere - he talked and laughed with you, never letting go of your hand or waist as he dragged you around toronto.

for a late lunch, matthew brought you to a cute cafe in trinity bellwoods, which was so delicious. while you both ate cheesy sandwiches, he had trapped your leg between his own, smiling gently anytime you caught gazes. it was all so....domestic and wonderful - you fought hard to not grin like a manic the entire day.

"you still up for tonight? everyone's looking forward to meeting you." matthew spoke into your ear on the walk back to his parked car, arm wrapped around your shoulder to keep you close.

"yes," you said, "i'm excited." and then matthew kissed you right outside the sky dome for everyone to see.

you were....so in love with him.

—

you sighed, hands flattening your black skirt down as you checked your outfit over in the bathroom mirror. your top glittered as it caught the warm glow of the lightbulbs above, elevating a rather simple outfit into one appropriate for an expensive night club.

still unsure, you brought you lip between your teeth, tasting the strawberry lip stain as you did. "matty," you called out gently, padding out of the en suite and into the spare room matthew's stuff occupied, "is this okay?"

sitting on the mattress, matthew looks up from his phone at the sound of your voice. instantly, his eyes soften and glaze over, his plump lips parting as he drinks you in from head to toe.

he stands up, phone long forgotten as he makes his way over towards you. "more than okay," matthew mutters, reaching out to run his calloused fingertips over your bare shoulder, "i'm going to have to fight off other men - you look so pretty. i'm pretty good at fighting though, so don't worry."

"loser," you chime with a smile, "think it's appropriate?"

"yes," he smiles, "they'll be falling at your feet."

you roll your eyes playfully, brushing past him to grab your shoes in your small travel bag, rifling through your options. "is the uber almost here?"

he nods, watching as you pull out your favourite pair of shoes. "yeah, they're about to pull up." matthew answers, walking back over to your side.

"m'kay," you hum, strapping on the heels of your sandals. you teeter without your full balance, and matthew immediately grabs your arm to steady you.

you fight back your grin, finishing with the buckle.

matthew leads you outside with a hand on your lower back, gently guiding you into the back seat of the uber. you think he may choose to sit in the front seat, but he climbs in after you, sliding beside you effortlessly.

in the short ride to the nightclub, matthew's hand doesn't leave your leg, his palm either squeezing the meat of your thigh or a finger stroking along your tanned skin.

there's a moment when your driver makes a turn onto the street for the club, and matthew looks down at you fondly. his free hand brushes away some hair, lingering by your ear when he whispers, "being with you feels like a dream I never want to wake up from."

you feel your body melt into the backseat, your grip on his bicep tightening as you stare up at him. without knowing what words to say, you choose to lean in, kissing him with as much love you can put into a kiss.

as matthew pulls away with a giddy smile, getting ready to guide you out the uber and into the line for the nightclub - you decide you're ready to tell him how you feel. when you both are back home, you're going to confess your love to him and you think - after this trip - he will feel the same.

you can see the way matthew looks at you, how he touches you and the words he says - you are positive your best friend is in love with you. the thought has you giddy, letting matthew pull you into the club with smiles on both your faces.

a cheerful loud chorus of greetings are thrown in your direction as you and matthew approach the teams occupied table at the back of the club. watching matthew light up at seeing and hearing his teammates reactions to him, instantly had you beaming.

your smile widens as matthew introduces you to everyone - first as a group, and then to everyone individually. he praises you everytime, which has you blushing. and when he doesn't introduce you as his best friend, but rather his girl, you just about melt into the sticky flooring.

everybody is friendly with you, and as you sit between matthew and steph marner, you've never felt more included in a new group of people before. steph asks about anything and everything she can think of, and you answer with just as much passion and enthusiasm as she has. then the other wags chime in and ask you about yourself - matthew smiling fondly with an arm strewn over the back of your chair - it was all you could of wanted.

the first hour is spent catching up and getting to know everyone at the table, laughter and appetizers shared between you all.

it was all going perfectly, and then, "kniesy, does your girlfriend want another drink?" you hear jake mcCabe ask matthew. you tune out amber brodie's words at the question, your heart thumping and stomach churning as you anticipate matthew's gentle correction.

she's not my girlfriend, but she'll probably want another one or we're just friends, but sure.

"hey," matthew mumbles against your ear, "want another drink?"

you smile through your momentary moment of shock, "yea...thanks."

matthew didn't correct the title of your relationship to him.

your smile widens, and you turn back to amber with a new sparkle in your eyes.

the music is a dull thump in your ears, the bass of the song sending vibrations through your body as you sway with the beat. matthew's hands are all over you, sliding down your curves and spinning you around to dance with him. it feels like your 18 again, getting drunk and dancing your nights away at the alchemy.

you think you've been out here for at least an hour, and your feet are starting to ache - but you don't find yourself to care. you can see some of matthew's teammates dancing on the floor as well, laughing and moving with one another a little bit aways from you both.

you still can't believe how nice and kind everyone of matthew's teammates and their significant others are - you hope you see them more often.

you hope you'll be coming down to toronto during the season to watch matthew play this season - sitting in the WAG box and wearing your friends last name on your back. steph has already (very tipsily) shouted about how she's adding you to their groupchat - the rest of the girls agreeing just as loud.

you feel so at home.

matthew's hand slides down over the round of you ass, squeezing the flesh tightly. you're pulled from you own thoughts at the feeling, blinking hard to regain reality. there's a glimmer in his eyes, sparkling under the blue lights and he smirks.

"I want to kiss you so bad," he says over the music, his words hitting the side of your face as he leans down.

thankfully, matthew's slightly hunched position has him close enough for you to be able to turn your head and speak directly into his ear. "kiss me," you tell him, your lips brushing the shell of his ear as you do so.

the kiss is messy and hot. the flavours of your respective drinks mixing on your tongues as they swirl in a dance of their own. you feel matthew smile into the kiss, which has you grinning as well.

somebody hollers in passing, and when you open your eyes you catch sight of mitch and steph behind you - sending you both grins and thumbs up, clearly the two of them for the cat calling moments before.

the combination of being flustered, the kiss and being surrounded of sweaty moving bodies has enough for you to pull away form matthew, swallowing thickly. "I need a drink."

"m'kay," he hums, "lets go back to our table first? then you can sit for a bit while I get us some drinks?"

you grin, nodding in agreement, matthew grabbing your hand and interlocking your fingers, pulling you through the crowd of people and in the direction to the table.

the table is covered in various picked through appetizers, half empty glasses and bottles. there's a few people still sitting around and socializing- mostly the older guys who don't feel like dancing.

there's somebody there you haven't met, a pretty blonde girl who is chatting happily to pontus holmbergs girlfriend near the end of the table.

matthew sees her too, and immediately he tenses, his hand in yours going limp as his body goes still, eyes wide and face pale.

you frown at him, "hey, what's wrong-"

"matthew?" the girl asks loudly, a grin taking over her perfect face as she bounds over to you both. "I didn't think you'd be here!"

the girl hugs matthew's tense shoulder and then...she kisses his cheek- very close to the side of his plump pair of lips.

you stomach falls along with your face. you pull your hand away from your friends, bringing it back to your side just as the girl turns in your direction, arms still draped over matthew's shoulders.

"i'm hayley," she says, "i'm matthew's friend."

matthew blinks hard, turning to you with an expression of guilt and sadness and fear....and your heart shatters.

she continues, "well, we've like hooked up a few times. is that friends, I don't know," hayley laughs, clearly unaware of the growing tension, "anyways, who are you? I don't think we've met."

matthew opens his mouth to speak, but you don't let him and you cut him off with a closed mouth smile, "just a friend from home."

"cute," hayley hums.

you nod, tears beginning to gather along your waterline. matthew watches you with that same shocked look, eyes bewildered and chest heaving. the walls feel like they are closing in on you, and your throat closes so you can't breath properly.

"I need some air," you say quickly and quitley, your eyes downcast as you turn around, darting through the crowd of the nightclub and to the door - leaving hayley, the team and matthew without another glance.

you begin to cry as soon as you step outside. your stomach is sitting heavy in your belly, weighing you down as your insides crumble with disappointment and heartbreak.

you don't know where you are going, but you start walking down the sidewalk. you didn't know where you were downtown, but you knew you couldn't go back inside and watch hayley hang over the man you love - even worse, you can't watch the way matthew lets her.

"y/n!"

you don't turn around, speeding up your walk. you pull out your phone, opening the uber app. you are already planning on getting a ride to the nearest hotel for the night - you'd get your bags tomorrow.

"y/n!" matthew calls from behind you again, "please, don't walk away."

you ignore him.

you can hear his footsteps on the pavement getting closer, and you bite down on your lips to stop the gut wrenching sob from leaving you.

"please let's just talk." matthew says loudly, "why are you so upset? stop walking away!"

you stop walking quickly and turn around forcefully. matthew takes a step back, closer than you anticipated, and stares at you breathing heavily, his brows pulled together as he sees your tear soaked face.

you huff, "you lied to me matthew."

he cringes at your angry tone and the use of his full name. matthew closes his eyes momentarily and takes a deep breath. "I should've said something sooner, I know, but it's nothing - there's nothing going on."

you laugh exasperated, "but clearly there was! fuck, I thought we had no secrets."

"we don't!" matthew sighs, "I didn't feel like it was important enough to mention."

"not important enough to mention?" you repeat, brows raised in suprise. "did you forget that we are having sex, matthew? god, I let you fuck me without a condom when you've been sleeping with someone else! the first thing you should've done was tell me."

"I didn't want it to get blown up like how it is right now," he seethes, "honestly, this is why I didn't tell you."

you scoff, "don't make this my fault!" you tell him roughly. "I don't care that you hooked up with somebody matthew! it's the fact you never told me - even before we had sex without protection. I told you there was nobody else and you said the same," you sigh gently, "janie said it first, last week she said we should of had an exclusivity talk a long time ago-"

matthew squints, "you told janie about us? what the fuck."

"you lied to me matthew!" you repeat loudly.

his expression falls, and he sighs gently, blue eyes meeting the sidewalk under his shoes.

a beat passes between you.

"you're making me feel guiltier than I already feel," he tells you harshly.

you laugh harshly again, "good! god matthew, I can't fucking believe this right now! bringing me here and introducing me to your teammates. the touches and kisses and looks you've been giving me! what you said in the cab! I thought...." you pause, bringing your lip into your mouth.

matthew's eyes soften, "you thought what?" he asks you gently. when you don't answer right away, he takes a step towards you, hand outstretched like he will reach out and touch you.

you shake your head, laughing dryly as another set of tears spring into action, dampening your cheeks. you take a step away from him, ignoring the frown tugging at his lips and the emotions in his eyes. "I thought nothing, matthew." you turn away, continuing to walk down the street.

"no," matthew says, catching up and grabbing your arm, spinning you back around and keeping you in place, "don't walk away, y/n. we need to talk."

you sigh sadly, eyes closing as you desperately try and keep your tears from falling further. "what are we doing, matthew?"

he frowns deeper at your question, his brows drawing together as he looks down at your heartbroken expression. matthew doesn't know what to say, eyes darting between the two of yours in search of some sort of indication- an answer.

"I can't keep doing this. I can't keep lying to myself that I don't want more with you, because it's fucking me up so badly." you admit quietly, salty tears falling down your cheeks and wetting your mouth. you weren't expecting to say that to him - especially tonight. but you were so tired and distraught, your body was tired of fighting for his sake.

slowly, matthew's expression changed, mouth slightly parted as he breaths deeply. "what did you say?

"nothing," you sigh again, "clearly this arrangement we have doesn't work for us anymore. go back inside with hayley, don't let me stop you anymore."

finally, you walk away from matthew. he calls your name once more, but you don't dare turn to look, keeping your eyes on your phone as you order an uber - leaving your best friend and your heart on the streets of toronto.

Epilogue:

you booked a flight home the next morning. you had to use your entire credit card balance, which you would ultimately suffer for, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

you cried to entire flight home, starring out the small window quitley as music blasted through your headphones - thinking about your fight with matthew over and over again until you landed back in arizona.

as soon as you got the wifi at the airport, you called janie, crying into your phone as you asked her for a ride home. she picked you up, and immediately you told her what happened with matthew - hiccupping through salty tears and laboured breaths.

you were so devastated.

locking yourself in your bedroom as soon as janie dropped you home, not even making an appearance for dinner. you silenced your phone and cried yourself to exhaustion.

you cringe in the early morning sun, tucked solemnly between your fuzzy blankets - cringing further at how stupid you must look thinking that your best friends love wasn't unrequited anymore - that matthew loved you back.

the thought of seeing matthew again seemed taxing - you couldn't see him. not only had you borderline confessed your feelings for him in the middle of the fight, but your heart got shattered in the process.

the look on his face when you said it - makes your stomach churn at the mere thought.

not only was there that heartbreak to process, there was also the whole thing of matthew having a girl in toronto - one that was well enough associated with him for somebody to feel the need to invite her out to the club.

he had slept with her, and then didn't tell you - he kept it all a secret, and when you asked about it, he lied to your face. matthew fucked you without protection knowing that - and he let you believe there was something more growing between you.

sniffing, you sit up in your bed, falling back against the padded headboard with defeat. your gold plated clock sitting above your desk reads 8:37, a reminder of just how early you'd naturally woken up - tear stained cheeks and headache included.

a knock sounds at your door quietly, pulling you from your pity party and a confused frown begins to tugs at your lips. your parents should be at work already, and janie hadn't mentioned coming over. perhaps your mom was home today, or janie was coming to keep you company - you wouldn't of got the message because your phone was still very much silenced.

"y/n?" the voice is muffled through the door, but you'd recognize the sound of his anywhere. after all, you've been replaying anything he's every said to you over in your mind since freshman year.

"y/n? are you awake?" matthew questions again.

you shoot up out of bed, bare feet padding to the closed door. matthew hears the springs of the mattress through the door as you move and the sound of you shuffling towards him.

you don't say anything but matthew had the conformation you're there and awake - all the conformation he needed that you were alive. you hadn't responded to any of his calls or texts - he's pretty sure he even emailed you, desperate to get you to talk to him.

so like any logical person would, matthew hopped on the next flight to arizona, suitcase still in his car while he knocks on your bedroom door.

"can you please open the door? I need to talk to you." he pleads gently.

your voice is shaky, tears of embarrassment and pain threatening to spill. "about what?"

matthew breaths a sigh of relief at the sound of your voice - although you don't sound like you usually do. you sound sad and tired...and that breaks his heart. he sighs again, and firmly asks again, "open the door."

you find your self hesitating for a moment, hand hovering over the bronze knob as you think about what's to come. maybe matthew wants an apology - your hasty exit from the club and making a scene in the streets was embarrassing for him. or maybe he's here to let you down, tell you that you can still be friends, but he doesn't have feelings - or worse, he can't be friends with you anymore.

the unknown is eating you alive, and with a deep breath, you turn the door handle, pulling open the door that separates you from him.

his face changes into something similar to relief at the sight of you, and you look down to the floor, knawing on your lip as you try to stay calm.

"what are doing here?" you ask. you look back towards his kind face, your brows pulled tight as you take him in.

he doesn't seem angry or upset. if anything he looks nervous...anxious even. you wonder if there's a reason for that, after all, he has cut his own trip short and come home to arizona for this conversation.

"did you mean it?" matthew ignores your question, taking a step closer to you. "what you said?"

he has to be talking about your brief confession outside the nightclub during the fight, you think, and you stomach drops. you knaw your bottom lip, further shredding the soft skin you'd been tugging on all night. you nod your head once, so quick you're not sure if matthew even saw.

but he did see it, and he breaths what seems like a sigh of relief, a very faint grin beginning to make its way onto his face. matthew clears his throat, "I did a shitty thing," he starts quietly, his adam's apple with a nervous swallow, "I lied to you because I was embarrassed. I lied because we're not just friends and we haven't been for a long time."

you mouth drops, heavy breaths falling past your lips. before you can even fathom your response, he continues. "I should've told you about that girl, even if I didn't want to. I only hooked up with hayley because I was trying to forget about my feelings for you. I know we're best friends, but I want to be more. so if you really meant what you said the other night, say it again. let me hear you say it again." he takes a deep breath, and an airy chuckle leaves his lips, "and I know this is a lot before 9 in the morning, but I need to hear you say it."

you swallow, saliva thick with nerves. pushing your messy hair off your face, hands desperately trying to keep busy. you don't know what to think. "is this a joke? are you only saying this to make me feel better?"

his brows draw together and he frowns - fingers itching to reach out and touch you. "I would never joke about what I feel for you."

matthew knies confessed he has feelings for you. everything you've ever wanted, everything you've longed for is about to happen - is happening.

"matty," you breath, "I love you and i've loved you for years...and I know that's more than what I said the other night and I hope it's not too much for you, but-"

he kisses you.

matthew holds you close as he leans down to capture your lips with his own, bottom and top enclosing around yours as he kisses like he always does: perfectly.

a moment later, your lips part and breathlessly, he pulls away, forehead resting against yours as you two catch your laboured breath.

"how long?"

"what?" you question quietly.

"how long have you loved me?" he whispers softly.

"since highschool," you admit.

"god," matthew whispers wondrously with a small smile, "I wish we had this conversation sooner....because i've loved you since freshman year. that's why I never had a girlfriend and that's why I proposed the idea of loosing our virginities to one another. I wanted to loose my virginity to you - and only you since the moment we met."

"you've liked me since highschool?" you ask dumbfounded, your pointer finger gesturing between you. "we were both really oblivious, huh?"

"I thought I was being obvious," matthew admits with a laugh, thumb rubbing along your cheekbone.

you shrug, hand coming up to hold his wrist tightly - keeping him close. "well, I think I was the only one being oblivious- janie knew you had a crush on me."

"damn," he smiles, "janie is smarter than I thought."

you giggle just as matthew leans back in, kissing you with as much force he can manage - and this time, you're sure of it - it was love.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

[xomakara]

Wanted Dead Or Alive

(re-posting from my old account seulrinnie-rinrin/xomakara-secondary)

SUMMARY | A handsome cowboy is injured while tending to a wild horse he's rescued miles from town. You're on the run, and can't afford to stop on your way to your destination – but you can't ignore the wounded man when you see him, and decide to help him despite the personal risk.

PAIRING | Mingi x Reader

GENRE/CONTENT/WARNINGS | Cowboy!Mingi, Heiress!Reader, Western au, non-idol au, smut (with some plot), consensual sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up y'all), slight fingering, dirty talk, pet names (darlin', sweetheart, etc), praise kink, bathtub sex, bed sex, gunfights, mentioned abuse

RATING | Mature, Explicit, 18+, NSFW, MDNI

LENGTH | 7,929 words

TAGLIST |  --

NETWORKS |  @cromernet (reuploaded so only tagging nets that haven't reblogged it yet)

AUTHOR’S NOTE | Excuse me, while I go bathe myself in holy water.

ATEEZ Main Masterlist

You can't help but spur the horse forward, your heart thudding in your chest. It had been hours, but the adrenaline was still running rampant in your system, your stomach clenching with dread.

You could hear the sound of hooves, and your body was tense and tight as you pulled the reins, hoping the sound wasn't heading toward you.

It had all started when you woke up with your ex-husband's hands around your throat, a wild look in his eyes. He'd seemed desperate and he had looked at you with an unfamiliar expression as he tightened his grip.

The memory of his hands squeezing the air out of your throat, the burning in your lungs as he tried to squeeze the life out of you. The memory had tears springing into your eyes, and you swallowed them back, forcing the panic away.

He had almost succeeded, if not for the fact that you were more desperate to live than he was for you to die.

You'd fought him with everything you had, and with the steak knife that you hid under your pillow, you stabbed him in the hand so that you could breathe.

And then you ran.

You had a small fortune that you'd stashed away, and you had a bag packed for days like this.

It wasn't enough to keep you safe for very long, but it was enough to get you where you needed to go, and it was enough to keep you warm, and fed and hidden from prying eyes.

You had planned to slip out of town under the cover of darkness and disappear. You'd heard that it was possible to disappear entirely, to leave the country, and you were prepared to do it.

You had no ties, no one waiting for you, nothing to keep you in town except for the fear of being found.

The sun is rising over the horizon, and you know you should probably stop for a rest, but you don't think you can.

You want to keep moving until you can't anymore.

You know there are men on your trail. They're not smart enough to keep up with you, but you know they're going to follow you for as long as it takes.

They'd followed you to this little town, and you knew it was only a matter of time before they found you again.

And they wouldn't stop until they got what they wanted.

You know it was the money they were after.

After all, your family had a lot of it, and your husband had known about it and had wanted to get his hands on it for some time.

That's why he married you.

Sure he was rich and everyone knew it. But with the way that he spent it, he was drying out his funds, and he knew that if he didn't find some source of income, he'd be destitute within the year.

He wouldn't tell anyone, oh no, that would damage his reputation.

Instead, he'd taken a loan and used that loan to buy the nicest ring that he could afford.

And then he'd gone and found himself a rich wife.

He'd been careful in his planning. He'd been charming and he'd made you feel things you'd never felt before. He charmed his way to get your parents' favor, and they'd approved of him almost immediately.

The wedding had been the biggest social event that had happened in town in a long time.

But it didn't matter how well the two of you were liked, because your ex-husband didn't know how to stop spending, and now people were beginning to talk.

And they were beginning to ask questions.

You had been his perfect cover, his perfect alibi, and now that he was losing his power and prestige, he wanted to keep the one thing that was left to him.

And that was the money.

You didn't mind giving him the money, he'd been good to you, and he'd loved you, and had cared for you. But when the love turned to abuse, and the care turned to control, you decided you were better off without him.

So, you left him. Divorced him.

And now he was coming after you, and after the money.

He would not stop until he got what he wanted.

And neither would the men that were chasing you.

Your horse had been galloping for hours, and you were starting to slow down. Your body was sore, and your legs were cramping, but you couldn't bring yourself to stop.

You could hear them getting closer, and it made your blood run cold.

Your eyes scanned the horizon, looking for a place where you could stop. Somewhere you could hide, maybe.

There was a corpse of trees not too far from the road, and you veered towards them, hoping that they were thick enough to hide you from the men who were pursuing you.

And then you see him.

Tall and handsome, leaning against the side of a tree, holding his side. His head is tipped back, his face twisted with pain, and you feel your heart drop at the sight.

You pull your horse to a stop, your hands trembling. You're afraid. You're so scared. But you can't just leave him there, bleeding.

He's a big guy, with broad shoulders and muscular arms, but right now, he looks so small.

He opens his eyes, and his gaze finds yours. His eyes are dark, and you can see the pain in them.

He lifts his hand, and he waves at you.

"Hey there, little lady." Voice hoarse and gravelly. "Looks like I could use a bit of help."

You couldn't help but dismount your horse and carefully walk up to him. "What happened to you?"

His face twists and his shoulders rise as he inhales deeply. "Long story short, I got shot trying to round up some horses for Ol' Man Kim. A bullet got lodged in my side. I ain't sure if it went clean through, but I need a doctor. I can't make it to town."

You hesitate, chewing on your bottom lip. "I can't take you into town, Mister. I can't afford to draw attention to myself."

He gives you a strange look. "Why would that draw attention to yourself? Do you have a criminal record or somethin'?"

You shake your head. "No. It's a lot more complicated than that. It's a long story."

"You can make it short like I did mine."

You laugh softly, your heart skipping a beat. He has a nice smile, and he's even more handsome when he laughs. "Okay. Well, long story short, I'm on the run. My ex-husband is trying to kill me for my money. And some other guys are after me. I can't stop here or else I'm putting myself at risk. I have to keep moving."

He studies you for a moment, his dark eyes boring into yours. "If you're willing, I could be of some assistance. I'm good with a gun, and I can keep you safe."

"But you're injured, mister."

"It's just a flesh wound. I can still use a gun. If you're worried, I can ride along with you, and when we get to the next town, I'll find a doctor. Until then, I'll watch your back. I promise I won't let anyone hurt you."

You hesitate, chewing on your bottom lip. "Why would you do that? You look like the type that would rob me instead."

"Nah, I may be a cowboy but I don't harm women and children." He reaches out his hand, palm up, a kind smile on his face. "I'll protect you, Miss. And when I'm healed up, I'll help you get to wherever it is that you're going."

You swallow, unsure if you should trust him or not. But he seems like a decent guy, and you could use all the help you could get.

"I don't know..." You bit your bottom lip. "I can't afford to pay you right now..."

"That's alright." He smiles again, and it's a reassuring smile. "I don't need any money. Just some help."

You hesitate, your heart racing. "Okay."

He grins. "Well, alright then. What's your name, miss?"

"Y/N."

"Mingi. A pleasure to meet ya."

"Likewise." You nod and walk towards your horse, taking hold of his reins. "You think you can get up on your own, Mingi?"

"Sure thing." Mingi grunts and pushes himself away from the tree, his hand clutching at his side. He takes a few steps, his face twisted in pain. He staggers and nearly falls, but you're quick enough to catch him before he hits the ground.

You grunt and strain to keep him upright. "Easy there."

He looks down at you, and you can see the embarrassment and pain in his eyes.

"Sorry."

"It's alright. Just lean on me, and we'll get you up on the horse. We're not going very far, and I think I saw a doctor a few miles back."

Mingi nods and takes a deep breath. You can't help but notice that his hair is messy and windswept, and his clothes are rumpled. Despite that, he was still very handsome.

You put your arms around his waist and help him climb onto the horse.

"Thank you." He says, his voice soft.

"You're welcome." You reply a small smile on your face.

You can't help but notice the way his broad shoulders taper into a narrow waist. He has the build of a man who does hard work for a living, and his dark brown eyes are bright and clear. He's the first man who's been honest and kind to you in a long time.

As you climb onto the horse, Mingi wraps his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest.

You feel safe and secure, and you can't help but notice how his arms feel around you.

His scent is warm and masculine, and you feel yourself relaxing into him.

"We should get going." You say, your voice barely a whisper.

"Right," Mingi says and nudges the horse forward.

As you ride away, you can't help but notice the way he tightens his arms around you, and how his lips brush against your ear.

You shiver, and close your eyes, enjoying the feeling of his arms around you, and the safety you feel in his embrace.

For the first time in a long time, you feel hopeful.

You arrived in the small town that you passed a few miles back and the first thing that caught your eye was a doctor's office.

Mingi had been quiet the whole ride. The pain must have been intense. You pulled your horse to a stop and quickly dismounted. You helped Mingi off the horse and slowly made your way into the building, his tall frame leaning on you.

"I need a doctor! Now!" You shouted and looked around the waiting room.

"Please wait your turn." A woman, who looked like a nurse, muttered as she sat at a desk looking over some papers.

"Ma'am, please get the doctor or help me." Mingi softly said, the woman looking up at him. Mingi smiled down at you, his face pale. "My little wife here is worried and I'd hate to see her cry."

The woman blushed, and got up from her desk, quickly hurrying down the hall.

"Wife?" You questioned.

"She'll give us priority. Trust me." He softly grinned at you. "It's easier to get what we want this way."

"How's that fair to the other patients?"

"Life's not fair, sweetheart."

"You're lucky that I find you charming." You huffed.

"You find me charming? Well, aren't you sweet?"

"Shut up." You softly chuckled and rolled your eyes.

"Sir, ma'am, follow me." The nurse came back into the waiting room and ushered you down the hall and into an examination room.

After some time, Mingi was patched up, and per the doctor's orders, you had to stay a few nights in town. You were worried about the men that were following you but Mingi assured you that you would be safe.

"So, where are we staying?"

"With a friend of mine."

"Friend?"

"Yep. He'll take good care of us. He owes me a favor and it's his fault that I got shot in the first place."

"Is it Ol' Man Kim, you mentioned before?"

Mingi nodded. "Just don't call him old. He's only a year older than me but I like to mess with him. We grew up together and we've always had each other's backs."

"He sounds like a good friend."

"He's one of the best." Mingi grinned, the pain meds kicking in.

"Alright, well, we better get going then." You sighed and helped Mingi get out of bed. "The doctor said that the medicine will probably make you drowsy."

"I'll be fine. Let's go."

You helped Mingi back to your horse and got him situated on the saddle.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

"Where to?"

"Kim's place. It's not far from here."

"Alright." You mounted your horse and started heading out of town.

You rode for a few hours, the sun beginning to set. You were about to suggest that you should camp somewhere for the night, but Mingi told you to continue straight ahead.

"This is a long stretch of nothing, are you sure we're heading the right way?"

"Yes. Keep going, the house should come into view soon."

"Okay." You said, keeping the horse moving.

It was growing darker, and the air was getting colder.

"Mingi, we really should stop and rest. We can continue tomorrow."

"Not yet. We're almost there. Keep going."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Alright."

You continued to ride, the sky turning darker.

"I'm getting worried, Mingi. It's getting too dark to ride safely."

"Don't worry. The house should be coming up soon."

"Okay."

The moon was high in the sky and the stars were shining brightly.

You were about to give up and insist on making camp when a large house appeared in the distance.

"See? Told you."

"Well, I'll be damned." You sighed.

"It's not much, but it's home."

You followed Mingi's directions and guided the horse to the front door.

"Who's there?" A man opened the door, pointing his rifle at the both of you.

"Calm down, you old fart. It's just me." Mingi waved his hand at the man.

"Mingi?" The man lowered his rifle and squinted his eyes at him. "What the hell happened to you, man?"

"Got shot trying to wrangle up your horses, that's what." Mingi joked before looking at you. "This little lady here helped me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name, Miss." The man smiled at you.

"Y/N."

"Nice to meet ya. Name's Hongjoong. You can call me Joong."

"Joong, this little lady needs our help. She's running from some bad people." Mingi leaned his head against your back, his voice sounding groggy.

"Bad people?" Hongjoong questioned, eyeing you suspiciously.

"Yes. My ex-husband is trying to kill me." You explained. "He's hired people to come after me. I've been on the run for months now."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Miss Y/N."

"Thank you."

"Mingi, why don't you take Miss Y/N and get settled in while I bring your horse to the stable."

"Okay."

Mingi helped you down from the horse, his arms wrapping around your waist as he slowly lowered you to the ground.

"Careful." You softly spoke, helping him down from the horse.

"Thank you, darling." Mingi smiled.

"You two, get inside and get warmed up. I'll take care of the horse." Hongjoong took the reins and led the horse to the stable.

You helped Mingi inside, the two of you entering the large ranch house. You placed Mingi on the couch before taking a look around the house. It was simple but cozy, and it smelled like vanilla and pine.

"Make yourself at home. Joong won't be long." Mingi leaned back against the cushions.

"Thank you." You smiled and went back over to him, sitting on the couch next to him.

You studied his features, his eyes closed and his face relaxed. He looked so peaceful, and you couldn't help but admire his beauty.

"What are you thinking about?" Mingi suddenly asked, opening his eyes and looking at you.

"Nothing. Just how handsome you are." You admitted.

"Well, thank you, darlin'." He smiled. "You're pretty yourself. Real pretty."

"Thank you."

"I'm glad you decided to stop and help me. I owe you my life."

"You're welcome." You smiled and leaned back against the cushions.

"So tell me your story," Mingi muttered. "Why is your husband out to get ya? Is it just for the money or is there something else?"

"It's a long story, Mingi." You sighed, a frown forming on your face.

"I got all night, sweetheart." He smiled, rubbing a hand up and down your arm. "C'mon. Indulge me, please."

You rolled your eyes. "You're lucky you're hurt. You're being very cheeky."

Mingi laughed, his dimpled cheek pressed against the cushions as he closed his eyes. "I am indeed. Tell me about ya. About yer marriage."

"What's to tell?" You shrugged, leaning back against the sofa and closing your eyes. "I met a man I thought would take care of me. He charmed me and my family but in reality, all he ever wanted was my money. Because he was on the verge of being broke." You began, re-living the memories. "At first, he treated me nice and it was wonderful, until it wasn't. It was his love language, lavish gifts, and trips. And then all of a sudden, what I thought was love turned into abuse and control. He wanted to spend my money on everything. When I said no, things went badly and his abuse became physical."

Mingi reached out a hand to you and put it atop yours, giving a little squeeze. "That bastard. I know his type. Those were the men I robbed and stole from. The greedy ones that hurt women." He let out a sigh and laid his head back. "I was an outlaw, for a long time. Joong and I were always looking out for each other. He was the brains and I was the brawn. But, a couple of years back we fell on some rough times and realized we weren't as invincible as we thought. When Joong's mama passed, she left him this property. We went legit and bought some cattle. Things are good now but we were still doing odd jobs. Helping friends and such." He smiled.

You studied him. "You two seem close. Friends can be good to have."

Mingi smiled at you, his dark brown eyes piercing into yours. "Joong and I are good at taking care of ourselves. Never needed anyone else until now."

"Until now?" Your eyebrows raised.

He shrugged a shoulder, an eyebrow lifting. "You never know what the future holds. Better to be prepared."

Mingi chuckled and stretched his limbs.

"I like the way you think." Your lips turned upward as you spoke to him.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence. Mingi's presence brought a feeling of ease to you. A moment later, Hongjoong came through the front door and removed his boots at the entrance.

"Hey, Joongie." Mingi greeted with a sleepy smile.

"How are ya holding up?"

"Better now." Mingi looked at you with a smile on his lips.

"Hey now, don't be all flirty up in this place-"

"Don't get jealous, Joong." Mingi cut him off.

"Me, jealous of you? Hell no." Hongjoong made his way over to you and sat down on a loveseat opposite the sofa. "So Miss Y/N, you got some crazies after you? What for? You some kind of heiress to a fortune? I can't see you doing any sort of wrong."

Your face reddened a bit as the men watched you. "I uh...well you could say that. My parents are wealthy, yes, and I was married to what I thought was a wealthy man...but he was on the verge of being broke. He only wanted my money so he could fund his extravagant life. Over time, he changed and became abusive. Finally, I couldn't handle it anymore so I divorced him. Stabbed him in the hand with a steak knife and ran away. Now he's sent thugs and goons after me. As long as he can get his hands on my money, he doesn't care if I'm dead or alive."

"Unbelievable." Mingi sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Well, I have to hand it to you, Y/N. Most women wouldn't have the strength or gall to stand up to an abuser or their spouse." Hongjoong admired you.

"I have to get out of the country. That was my plan all along." You sighed. "Get out of the country and try to live quietly, like normal. Not to offend, but men like you aren't exactly low-key."

Mingi chuckled. "Good point."

"And now you're saddled with the poor cowboy you've rescued and stuck at a ranch house on the outskirts of nowhere."

'What if they come here?" You bit your bottom lip.

Hongjoong shook his head. "You don't have to worry. Mingi and I are more than capable of handling a few thugs."

"Right." Mingi smiled at you. "Now, how about some food and bed? I'm starved, wounded, and exhausted."

"As am I."

"Okay, you two." Hongjoong stood. "I'll get dinner started, so rest up."

"She's in there!" You heard yelling. "We'll kill her if we have to! Bring her here, now!"

You were thrown on your back, a male body covering yours as you blinked your eyes awake. The tall cowboy covered your body as best he could with his own, a rifle aimed and firing out the window into the night.

"Stay low," Mingi growled in your ear, a primal protective tone. He aimed the rifle once more as shouts and screams pierced the air. More gunshots and the air turned electric. He spoke to you in a hushed tone. "Do you know how to handle a gun?"

"Yeah." You had been forced to learn back with your husband and his controlling nature. You would never use a weapon to harm, though.

Mingi looked to see that you nodded, reaching over he dug in a side drawer of the dresser next to his bed and handed you a pistol.

"Just in case. Try to stay low until it's clear. But if it's an all-out war, don't be afraid. Protect yourself. I don't mind dying for something worth it and you're something worth a lot in my eyes. I promise you, you'll come out alive and whole."

You turned and locked eyes with Mingi. Mingi held eye contact for a second before hopping out of bed.

"You ready?" Mingi moved to the window and looked out over the land surrounding the home, the firelight casting an orange glow.

You swallowed your anxiety and nodded to the cowboy.

"Okay." Mingi readied his weapon and hopped up onto the window, gun first, and fired. He took cover in the window frame, a thump sounded like a body landing, but you weren't sure. You held the gun ready, gripping tight to it tight as sweat lined your palms.

There was no more yelling. Only the crackling of the fire was audible. Mingi sighed heavily. His head dropped and then you watched his chest inflate and fall quickly as his nerves calmed down.

"You good, Darlin'?" He turned his eyes to meet yours.

"I'm...okay."

"Good." He nodded. "Remember to stay low. I'll draw their attention away, then you run like hell. Head to the stables and get on one of the horses. Head to town and find Yunho, the sheriff. Hongjoong and I will be right behind you. Okay?"

You nodded. "Okay."

"Good girl." He gave your knee a light squeeze. "Stay low and quiet."

Mingi disappeared. You took a few breaths, listening to the silence. You then dropped the window and began to make your way through the house and to the stables. You heard the sounds of horses stamping the ground and snorting. You looked over and saw Hongjoong climbing through the window.

"He okay?" Hongjoong whispered, moving his head out the window and seeing Mingi wasn't following you.

"Yes." You looked at him, sadness lining your eyes and fear welling in your voice.

"Hey, he's tough. The guy has been in much worse jams and walked out unscathed. This time isn't going to be any different. Trust me." Hongjoong had his revolver out, keeping his eyes focused on any movement outside. He hoped his words were true and the Mingi was alright.

A second later you heard Mingi's boots hit the floor. You were relieved. He moved quickly to the window.

"Four men dead."

"Is that all of them?" Hongjoong asked.

"Yes. They rode in fast. Just the four men. Heard one of them saying that there's more on the way."

"Damn, you're ex-husband wasn't playing around," Hongjoong grumbled.

Mingi approached you. "Darlin', let's go."

Hongjoong looked at you. "Go with Mingi. I'll hold down the fort. This is my goddamn house after all."

He clasped Mingi on the shoulder. "Just go and get her safe."

"Yeah." Mingi nodded.

Hongjoong loaded the pistol and cocked the hammer. "This ain't goodbye forever, Miss Y/N. I promise." He saluted the pair of you with two fingers, a genuine smile on his lips. "Be safe, you two."

"Take care, Hongjoong. See you on the other side, my friend." Mingi then took your hand and led you to a horse already packed with bags. He then picked you up by your waist, lifting you as though you were nothing more than a pillow. His strength never failed to impress you and excite you at the same time. You tried to situate your skirts appropriately but decided to tear a good portion of fabric from the hem for easier mobility.

You felt Mingi swing up behind you on the horse and place an arm around you. "Hang on. We're heading on to town to get Sheriff Yunho and let him know what's going on. Then we'll head on to the next town over." Mingi clicked his tongue and kicked the horse's flanks gently with his boots and the pair of you raced off the property. You were overwhelmed and felt as though things were starting to go wrong, again. Would the nightmare ever stop? Was there no safety in the world for you? And now, you were putting a new man and his best friend into the situation. Men who weren't bound to you in any way. 

Men who owed you nothing. Who have both saved you already, when they barely even knew you. How could you thank someone for something like that?

After stopping in town and telling the sheriff what had happened and disguising yourself in men’s clothing, you and Mingi were on the road to the next town over. With Mingi behind you and one hand on the reins, you gripped the saddle and tried to focus on breathing. Your heart wouldn't slow down, and Mingi could sense how anxious you were.

"Talk to me, darlin'." Mingi patted your arm and leaned forward a little to listen.

"Oh..." You hadn't noticed until now just how tense your shoulders were.

"It's gonna be fine." Mingi's voice was warm and comforting, the complete opposite of the situation at hand.

"How can you say that?" You looked over your shoulder and locked eyes with him, tears already lining your waterline.

Mingi's breath hitched a moment when he met your gaze. It was an intense moment the two of you sharing, his large eyes drawing you in, pupils dilating ever so slightly. You were breathless when his face lowered to yours, his mouth suddenly pressing to yours in a firm yet gentle kiss. You relaxed as the shock melted away and leaned into him, Mingi's arm sliding over your waist and pulling you against him.

Your hand lifted and rested upon his broad chest. You could feel his heart thrumming away against his ribcage. A soft growl vibrated his throat when his lips parted against yours, allowing the hot sweep of his tongue to dance with yours. You were enjoying the moment, but the stress still lingered and ate away at you.

You were caught completely off-guard by Mingi's actions. Especially considering how you had only met him just a day earlier.

"Mingi..." You gasped a little, a redness spreading over your cheeks as the cowboy pulled back and smiled.

"I promise everything will be just fine, Y/N," Mingi muttered. "We'll be in town soon and on the next train out of there. Then we'll be off far west. Free from that bastard and his goons."

"You're going through all this trouble, and danger, to protect someone you don't even really know." You wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling bad for endangering such a kind and wonderful man like the man behind you.

"Hey." Mingi reached over and brushed a stray tendril of hair from your face. "You're the real deal. I can tell, just by meeting you and hearing your story. Besides, this is me getting away from the life that Hongjoong and I led until just recently. This is redemption in a way, to help a pretty woman and save a good soul." Mingi moved one hand up your neck, fingers sliding along your skin making gooseflesh ripple along the trail.

"But the cost-"

"I think I know the price better than anyone. I was an outlaw, Y/N. Threw in my hand with the wrong people when I was a young idiot. Was lucky to be alive, and eventually met up with Hongoong. So I've seen all there was to see and can read people well. And, it's never too late to change and to choose the right people to surround yourself with. I've realized that I have to help others – the right way. And, besides, if I have to be in a sticky situation, I'm glad it's with someone like you."

You looked up to see Mingi staring down at you, his hands touching your waist.

Mingi grinned a bit as you seemed surprised. You were lost in his gaze for a moment, before coming back to your senses.

"Thanks."

Mingi stroked your cheek softly, admiring the details of your face for a moment, taking note of a certain spot he wouldn't mind having a chance to mark later on. Your face had a healthy dusting of sun-kissed skin that shined. Mingi stared in awe. He's known many a beautiful woman, but you were special. "Come on, darlin', we should keep moving. Should be in town soon enough."

You rode together the remainder of the way in silence. Your mind races over how the last day has unfolded, the danger the beautiful stranger was putting himself in, and the feelings stirring up in you for him. A few hours ago you didn't know him. Now you wanted to protect him and save him from danger. Was there something else driving you? Something hidden deep inside that only this kind-hearted stranger was capable of revealing?

Your mind drifted off and before you realized it, you had arrived in town. It was early morning and the streets were quiet, save a few people starting their day. After tying the horse to a post outside of the inn, Mingi gathered his rifle and your pack then helped you to the inn. After booking a room for both of you, Mingi gently grabbed you by your arm.

"Let's take it easy today, stock up on supplies, and then board the train tomorrow. Better get some rest while we can."

You nodded. Mingi rubbed your arms as your eyes fell. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything to you." His expression softened as your eyes opened and focused back on him. "Not unless you want me to."

You smiled lightly and followed Mingi upstairs to the room you both had booked. Mingi kept the rifle close to him while entering the room, scanning the area, double-checking the closet and any potential hiding places, and making sure the window was locked, before relaxing his shoulders.

"I could use a bath right now." You said as you stood next to the bed.

"My thoughts exactly." Mingi smiled lightly.

"You'd like to bathe too, I presume?" You asked him, turning to the cowboy who was removing his gloves.

"Only if it's alright with you. No worries, I'm fine to wait for another day." He rested his gun and belongings at the foot of his bed. "Wouldn't be very polite of me to invite myself. And I don't want you thinking less of me." Mingi sat on the edge of his bed and started taking his boots off.

You wanted a bath but also a partner to be with. Even after all those kisses on the road, he was still respecting you, and wanting to make sure you were comfortable with him. What a rare and wonderful man you had stumbled upon.

"Well...I'd rather like someone to...bathe with me..." The sentence slipped out as a shy request, barely above a whisper, but Mingi heard and immediately looked over his shoulder with a sweet grin.

"Is that so?"

You nodded timidly and brought your bottom lip in between your teeth as his gaze made your nerves fire up. Mingi smiled, biting his lips as well in thought and lust.

"Well alright, Darlin."

You watched Mingi cross the room and follow you to the door leading to the tub in the corner of the room. "Shall we?" Mingi gestured, his palm opening outward and he held his other palm and wrist to you.

Your hands grabbed onto his and he gave a soft reassuring squeeze before releasing a hand, opening the bathroom door, and letting you inside. The tub was large and sturdy-looking and would easily fit two people. Your back faced Mingi while you started to get undressed, as he slowly shut the bathroom door.

You kept your eyes forward, hearing Mingi undo his belt buckle, and let his gun holster drop to the floor. His shirt followed the rustle and whooshing of cloth hinted at what was happening. He stood behind you, pausing and waiting.

"You still want my help, darlin'? I'm not going to push you into doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you'd rather me keep the rest of my clothes on, just say the word."

You turned with wide eyes, biting your lips at his naked chest and broad, sturdy shoulders. Mingi held a knowing, charming grin on his lips as he teased a single button open on his trousers.

"Yes." You breathed, hypnotized by the delicious sight of a gorgeous and almost nude Mingi. "Mingi...I..."

"Shh..." Mingi closed the distance between you and met your mouth, claiming your lips once again, his hand gripping your side firmly. You placed a hand over the larger, muscular one that rested upon your side. It felt incredibly soft and so strong. Your free hand started to play along the band of the loosening trousers. Mingi grunted lowly, moving your hand to slip inside the waistband of his trousers.

Your fingers gripped gently, a needy moan escaping him as you got a taste of his size.

"Fuck..." He muttered, pulling back and kissing along your neck. He groaned, then tugged your shirt up over your head and you pulled your hand back from his waist. He tossed the shirt to the side, a hand rubbing along the delicate curve of your hip and tugging down the waistband of the trousers you were wearing.

"You sure about this, Darlin?" Mingi whispered against the shell of your ear.

"Very sure." You muttered back as you kissed his neck.

Mingi hissed as your mouth sucked softly, his skin vibrating beneath the skin of his throat. He continued to lower your trouser hem, the palm of his hand skating over the naked skin of your thigh, leaving behind a trail of tingles in its wake. 

"Fuck, Darlin..." he breathed, eyes latching onto the sight of your naked hips. Your hands skated down his toned belly and played over his trousers once again.

"Lower.." he asked, his lips pecking your shoulder before nuzzling your cheek.

You complied, fingers brushing and kneading over the growing heat. Your hand pulled his length out, fingers brushing the smooth and hardened skin. Mingi released an exhale, as your thumb grazed the swollen tip of his cock, massaging the fluid that leaked from his throbbing tip.

"Christ..." He buried his nose in your hair, grunting. "We're not even in the bath yet. Fuck.. Y/N.."

"Mmm?" You teased lightly, still stroking the solid flesh gently and slowly.

He chuckled, the hand at your hip brushing gently over the juncture of your thighs, then dipping down to stroke your intimate entrance. You cried out, pressing your body tight to Mingi's while his lips attacked your throat, sucking at your collarbone.

He turned your body around, your back pressing against his front, and slowly steered you towards the waiting tub. Mingi took a seat in the steaming hot water, stretched his legs out, and carefully lifted you into his lap. You moaned at the feeling of Mingi's cock prodding your backside as he brought your hips closer to his own. Mingi growled lowly and purred as your behind settled into his lap, grinding down a little and humming at the hard, thick rod nudging your tailbone.

Mingi laughed through a moan and placed a chaste kiss on the back of your head before you felt his tongue playing with your skin. "Ready?"

"Yes." You muttered back in a gasp. "Mmmmmm..."

"No worries, Darling. You'll enjoy what I do to you." Mingi purred.

"Promise?" Your back arched in pleasure, his thumb dipping low and swiping against the delicate bundle of nerves nestled amongst the folds of your sensitive clit.

"Mmhm..." his finger slid around your inner folds, coating the digit, and he plunged inside, his lips sucking softly on your neck.

"Oooh god..." Your back arched, mouth agape, and hips bucking into the sweet feeling of Mingi's skilled hands pleasuring you.

Mingi hooked his chin on your shoulder and grinned, loving to see the effects his ministrations were causing you.

"Look at you, Darlin'." He gave a harder rub of his finger against that little nub hidden at the peak of your heat. He bit back a moan feeling you clench against his thick finger that was currently prodding your sweet wet center. He shuddered and your hips squirmed. Mingi lifted and lowered his fingers until both sank inside the hot core and massaged. Your back was arched, and a whimpered sob of utter bliss was loud and clear.

"Mingi..." The name came out breathlessly and your hands reached back to grip his forearms, the pads of your fingers gripping tightly as you turned and your eyes locked with Mingi's. Mingi pressed closer to you, lips trailing back up to the side of your neck, and claimed another hungry kiss. Your moans vibrated, Mingi growled in pleasure as he removed his fingers and snaked around you, turning you so that your legs ended up straddling his waist. Mingi sat back, the ends of his hair soaked, strands curling against the nape of his neck and temples as he watched you lower yourself on his cock.

"Just like that, beautiful. God, you feel fantastic." He muttered, reaching up to brush his lips back over yours. "How do you feel, darlin'? My size okay? Any pain? Need me to go softer or harder?"

You bit your lip, marveling at the sweetness the cowboy was treating you. Your insides squeezed, your muscles contracting and pulsating around him. A cuss of pleasure came from him as he slid up a little more, hands taking your waist, guiding you to lean back against his wet chest. The suds and bubbles moved away, exposing more of the heated contact to the cooler air.

Your nails scraped gently up Mingi's thighs and you sank further, feeling a slight resistance, but still feeling wonderful.

"Oh god, Mingi."

"I know, darlin'..." One hand rested on your hips under the water, the other cupping your breast and kneading, enjoying the warm mound beneath his palm. "Tell me, darlin'. How does this compare to your ex-husband? Be honest..." He breathed, burying his face into the back of your neck, kissing the hot skin.

"He never filled me like this...so good...so full...God..."

He ground his teeth a little, groaning through his teeth as he nipped your earlobe, keeping his eyes trained on your back and sides. You moaned, not caring how much noise you were making. Mingi leaned into you and stole another hungry kiss before whispering, "No worries, you can scream as loud as you like with me, darlin’. I'll take you harder and fill you even more."

"Yes, please. Fuck, Mingi...." Your breathless and heady voice caused Mingi's self-control to break. He thrust a little harder and gripped you tightly.

Mingi snaked an arm around the front of you, grabbing your wrist and pushing his weight to the back of you. With each thrust the water began to slosh, threatening to spill from the edges of the tub and onto the wooden floor. "Mingi-" 

The thrusts turned rough, yet there wasn't any pain. You reached out, searching and grabbing, anything, needing something to hold onto. Seeing what you needed, he repositioned you so that your breasts were now pressed against his chest. You wrapped your arms around his neck, rocking against him. You didn't care if the water had gotten everywhere by now. Your pussy throbbed and clutched. He felt so big and you were impossibly full with him, the way his thickness was lodged inside and caressed every inch of your walls.

"Is this all you need, darlin'?" He asked. His words came out short and clipped as he panted.

Your response was only a loud mewl.

His hands pressed tight against your back, keeping you close, and the arm hooked beneath your bottom increased its grip.

You bounced upon his lap, your movements jagged, unable to do anything more. All you could do was cling to Mingi.

"There, Darlin...such a good girl for me..." He mumbled through a moan. His voice was gruff and it made your skin prickle.

"More..." you moaned back.

"Yeah? I'mma need to move this elsewhere to give you more, Darlin'." Mingi spoke against your shoulder, peppering a kiss to soothe you. His cock felt so good inside you. "Don't worry, Darlin'. I'm not done with you, yet. We still have the bedroom, and I need to have you ride me." Mingi purred while his mouth searched your body.

A throaty chuckle erupted from Mingi as he heard your cries for him.

You yelped and whined, surprised as his arms maneuvered you, and lifted you right out of the tub. The world blurred around you, Mingi's wet flesh clinging to your own. A second later, you felt yourself land upon the cool sheets of the mattress. The fluffy bedding was a welcome feeling as Mingi's wet frame pressed to you, your lips reconnecting once more.

"We didn't wash up..." You let out a small moan of contentment against the warmth of Mingi's neck, the skin dewy and soft.

"Guess not, but I certainly enjoyed a bath with you nonetheless, Darlin’." Mingi purred against your shoulder, flipping to lay on his back and bring you on top of him. He spread your legs further and gripped your hips in both his palms as you slid down on him. "Damn...Y/N..."

"You said you wanted me to ride you, didn't you?" You smirked, settling back on him.

"Oh...that was one of the best ideas I've ever had...aight, show me what ya got..." He placed one hand on your waist while the other was laid above his head, his grin impossibly wide and goofy as his eyes met yours. "By all means, show me, darlin'."

Fuck, bathtub sex was good but being atop such a fine specimen like Mingi...this was even better...and a whole other level of sensual.

"Mingi...my god..." Your breath caught, eyes slamming shut and rolling into your skull as you sunk deeper and began riding him with more passion.

He cursed under his breath. "Fuck, your pussy is fucking perfect." He smiled, watching the view from under. Mingi was lying there, watching you move above him and he groaned.

"So hot...the way you are riding me...damn." He was straining with how good you were feeling. Your pussy squeezed around Mingi's thick cock, and your hand slid along his broad chest and down his sculpted torso. You trailed along his muscles, and Mingi watched you explore his body while you bounced atop his erection. He loved this.

"Look at you, Y/N.." Mingi smiled.

"So big.." you were stretched in a way you had never been before. "So full..." You whined, completely lost in him.

His hands wrapped tighter around your hips as he helped bounce you up and down his cock.

You continued riding the cowboy for a few more minutes. Mingi brought a hand up, running his thumb along the wet folds of your pussy and you whimpered, gasping when he started circling your clit. "Mingi.." his name came out louder, turning to a wail as you were right on the verge.

"Do it, cum all over me, let me feel it, I'm getting close. So close, darlin’." Mingi barked back, a growl emerging and his hands gripped hard as he pounded up and into you.

"Ooooh, yes!"

He sat up quickly, kissing you again as he thrust deeply until he could go no more, releasing. He jerked, pumping every last bit into you before easing down onto his back with an exhausted and spent laugh.

You collapsed over him and snuggled in closely.

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow." Mingi agreed and he looked down at you and your naked form, which was intertwined with his. You snuggled in closer and were amazed at his energy. "Better than with your ex-husband?"

You let out a laugh and you pulled his hands and wrapped them around your waist. Your hands ran across his skin and his face had an easy smile, those chocolate eyes softening. You pushed yourself closer to him, which he welcomed. "Most definitely."

"How would you feel if I stayed with you to protect you and ensure you arrived wherever you wanted to go? I promise to make sure you aren't in any trouble. That's if you would like the company."

A smile spread over your lips, and you nodded your approval. You'd love nothing more than the company of a handsome man with a good heart such as Mingi. He smiled in return placed a small kiss on the tip of your nose and held you tighter, drawing the covers of your bed over the both of you. You smiled a little as you looked at him. The night air filled with a beautiful silence. It was comfortable. Neither of you spoke, but eventually, Mingi whispered into the dark:

"Y'know what Darlin'? I reckon we can manage life together just fine."

You giggled and nodded. "I have a feeling you're right about that."

[m4rv3l-girl]

Bucky x reader

In a relationship, bucky doesn't want reader going on mission because it's a hydra Misson, they argue and don't talk to each other, bucky hears reader get hurt and he hears her say "im sorry buck, i love you" and then her comms go out and he can't do anything to help because he's pinned down and by the time he gets to her she's bleeding out and passed out and bucky is breaking down apologising and saying he didn't mean anything of what he said etc and I dunno how you would wanna end it.

Of all base passions, fear is most accursed

Bucky x Y/N

Warnings: Violence. Injury. Angst.

The tension in the living room was palpable.

Bucky paced back and forth, his jaw clenched, his hands running through his hair in frustration. Y/N stood a few feet away, arms crossed, her own frustration mirrored in her tense posture. The disagreement between them had escalated rapidly, spiraling into an argument that neither of them had intended.

“It’s just a mission, Bucky!” Y/N exclaimed, her voice firm. “I’ve done missions like this a hundred times before.”

“Not like this,” he countered, his voice sharp but tinged with worry. “It’s Hydra, Y/N. You don’t understand what they’re capable of.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t patronize me. I know exactly what they’re capable of. That’s why I need to go.”

“No,” he snapped, stepping closer. “You don’t need to go. Let someone else handle it.”

“And let them walk into something I’m prepared for?” she shot back. “You’re not being rational. This isn’t about me—it’s about the mission.”

“It’s always about the mission with you,” he retorted, his tone cutting deeper than he intended. “When are you going to stop risking everything like it’s just a game?”

Y/N flinched at his words, the sting of them landing hard. Her voice dropped, quieter now but no less resolute. “You think I’m reckless? That I don’t care about what I’m risking?”

“That’s not what I said,” Bucky muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose, but the damage was already done.

“I can’t do this with you right now,” she said, grabbing her jacket and storming toward the door.

“Y/N,” he called after her, but she didn’t turn around.

The ride to the Quinjet was a blur. Y/N focused on the mission briefing, tuning out the knot in her chest that Bucky’s words had tied. She couldn’t afford distractions. Hydra facilities weren’t forgiving of mistakes.

The team deployed under the cover of night, slipping into the compound with precision. Y/N’s heart pounded as she moved through the dimly lit corridors, her comm buzzing with updates from the team. Her training kicked in, her body operating on muscle memory even as her thoughts kept circling back to Bucky.

She didn’t want to fight with him. She hated leaving things unresolved, hated the way his worried eyes had looked at her before she walked out the door.

“Barnes, stay sharp!” Steve’s voice over the comm snapped Bucky out of his spiraling thoughts. He was pinned down behind a concrete barrier, gunfire ricocheting off the walls around him.

He had stayed behind with the secondary team, watching the operation unfold from a distance. It had been his idea, a way to keep himself grounded while Y/N was out there. But now, every shot fired, every static crackle over the comms set his nerves on edge.

“Y/N, status?” he found himself asking, breaking protocol.

“I’m fine, Buck,” her voice came through, steady but faint. “Focus on your position.”

That was Y/N—always level-headed, even in the thick of it. But something in her tone didn’t sit right with him.

The hallway leading to the main server room was a cold, metallic stretch of shadows and faintly glowing panels. Y/N moved with practiced precision, her steps light and measured despite the tension crackling in the air. Beside her, Natasha was a blur of calculated efficiency, her movements as sharp as her focus.

“We’re nearing the server room,” Natasha’s voice was low and steady, the faint hum of Hydra’s security systems buzzing ominously around them.

Y/N nodded, her grip tightening on her weapon. The faint tapping of their boots on the steel floor seemed deafening, amplified in the vacuum of silence that surrounded them. For a moment, everything was still—too still. The absence of resistance in what should have been a high-security facility put her on edge.

“Doesn’t feel right,” Y/N muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.

Natasha’s lips tightened into a grim line, her green eyes flicking toward the corridor ahead. “Stay sharp.”

The moment they rounded the corner, the silence shattered. Red emergency lights bathed the hallway in an eerie glow, and the screech of alarms pierced the air. Y/N’s heart kicked into overdrive as metal panels slid open along the walls, Hydra soldiers pouring out with weapons raised.

“Ambush!” Natasha barked, already moving.

Y/N ducked behind a nearby crate, her back pressed against the cool steel as bullets ricocheted off the walls. She could feel the heat of the skirmish, the rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins.

“They’re trying to box us in,” Natasha yelled over the gunfire. “We need to clear them fast!”

“I’m on it!” Y/N shouted back, swinging out from her cover to fire. Her shots were precise, each one finding its mark, but the soldiers kept coming, Hydra’s numbers seemingly endless. Her earpiece buzzed with the frantic chatter of the rest of the team holding the perimeter.

“Server room’s just ahead,” Natasha said, reloading swiftly. “Go, Y/N. I’ll cover you.”

Y/N hesitated for a fraction of a second. “You sure?”

“Go!” Natasha snapped, already moving to draw the fire away from Y/N’s path.

Y/N sprinted forward, her body low and agile as she darted between columns of cover. The hallway narrowed, the looming doorway to the server room coming into view. She could feel the heat of Hydra’s reinforcements closing in behind her, the air thick with the acrid scent of gunpowder and sweat.

“Team, I’m almost at the server room,” she called through her comm, her breath coming in short bursts. “Nat, status?”

“Still breathing,” Natasha quipped, her voice tight but composed. “Just don’t make me regret this.”

Y/N reached the door, her fingers flying over the control panel. The lock disengaged with a mechanical hiss, the heavy door sliding open to reveal the server room bathed in a sterile white light. Towering racks of servers blinked at her, their hum a stark contrast to the chaos outside.

“I’m in,” she reported, slipping inside and sealing the door behind her. Her reprieve was short-lived. The alarms grew louder, and the vibration of approaching footsteps resonated through the floor. Hydra wasn’t letting this go without a fight.

She moved quickly, her fingers navigating the terminal with practiced efficiency. Lines of Hydra’s encrypted data scrolled across the screen as she worked to extract the files.

“Y/N, we’ve got a problem,” Natasha’s voice came through, strained. “They’re sending reinforcements your way. I’m pinned down.”

Y/N’s stomach dropped. Her fingers hesitated over the keyboard before resuming their furious pace. “I just need a few more seconds.”

“We don’t have seconds,” Natasha snapped, her voice tight with effort.

“Almost there,” Y/N muttered to herself, ignoring the frantic pounding of her heart. The data transfer bar crawled across the screen, agonizingly slow.

The door behind her rattled, the sound of Hydra soldiers attempting to breach it echoing through the room. Y/N’s pulse spiked, her eyes darting to the terminal as the transfer hit 90%.

“Come on, come on,” she whispered.

The door buckled under the weight of an explosive charge. Y/N barely had time to dive for cover before it blasted open, shards of metal scattering like shrapnel. She hit the ground hard, her comm crackling in her ear.

“Y/N, fall back!” Natasha’s voice was sharp, commanding.

“Not yet,” Y/N replied, scrambling to her feet. Her hand instinctively went to her weapon, firing at the Hydra agents flooding into the room. Each shot was deliberate, buying her precious seconds as the transfer ticked toward completion.

“I’ve got this,” she said into the comm, her voice resolute. But even as she spoke, she knew the odds were stacked against her. She was cut off, alone, and Hydra was closing in fast.

The explosion was deafening.

Bucky’s world narrowed to the static in his comm, drowning out the chaos around him.

“Y/N?!” he shouted, his heart racing. “Y/N, report!”

“I’m sorry, Buck,” her voice came through, faint and trembling. “I love you.”

And then, silence.

“No, no, no,” Bucky muttered, panic setting in. He surged to his feet, ignoring Steve’s shout to stay down. He fought his way through the enemy lines, desperation lending him strength.

By the time he reached her, she was crumpled on the ground, blood pooling beneath her. Her comm lay shattered nearby, her hand limp at her side.

“Doll,” Bucky choked out, dropping to his knees beside her. He pressed his hands to the wound in her abdomen, trying to stem the bleeding. “I’m here. Stay with me, please.”

She didn’t respond, her eyes fluttering closed.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I didn’t mean what I said. You’re not reckless—you’re brave, and I love you for it. Just—don’t leave me.”

Hours later, Y/N woke to the steady beep of monitors. The sterile smell of the medbay filled her senses, and she turned her head slowly, finding Bucky slumped in a chair beside her, his head resting in his hands.

“Hey,” she croaked, her voice weak.

His head shot up, relief flooding his features. “Y/N,” he breathed, moving to sit beside her. “You’re awake.”

“You look terrible,” she teased softly, managing a faint smile.

Bucky let out a shaky laugh, his hand brushing her cheek. “You scared the hell out of me.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes glistening. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Don’t,” he interrupted gently. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I should have trusted you. I let my fear get in the way.”

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their emotions settling between them. Finally, Bucky leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. “I love you, Doll. Always.”

“I love you too,” she murmured, her hand finding his.

It took weeks for Y/N to recover fully, but Bucky never left her side. The mission was a success, but the real victory was in the promises they made to each other—not unspoken, but loud and clear, built on trust and love.

——————————————————————————————————

Hey, I actually really enjoyed writing this, something with a bit more action! I hope you liked it.. 🫶

Requests Open!

[manicrouge]

TASK FORCE: STALKER

Chapter One: Last Woman On Earth

(Keegan x F!Reader)

Word count: 8.5k

About: After an operation in which the Alpha Team has been instructed to distract the Federation troops goes wrong, Alpha 4 finds herself stranded in Caracas, Venezuela. U.S. The city floods and while seeking refuge, she runs into one of the members of Task Force: Stalker. 

TWs: Canon-typical violence, drowning, brief mention of religion, gore, blood, violence, mayhaps some typos here and there too

Note: This story follow the campaign of Cod: Ghosts. If you would like to be added to the tag list, leave a comment :D

‘Alpha team offloads here as discussed.’ 

A voice ringed in your headset as the helicopter slowly lowered. Staring past the head of one of the Bravo team, you spied the shrubbery of the Forest bending around the spinning propellors of the helicopter, raising to your feet as the door slowly opened. Holding your rifle close to you, you offered a short nod to every man you passed on your way out. 

Your boots hit the dirt, a stick snapping beneath your foot. The nerves you felt during your first deployment were lost to the world as soon as the stench of gun powder graced your nostrils. There’s no time to be nervous, you thought back to the words your father spoke while telling stories of his time in battle. He’d hold your dolls, speak with gruff voices as he reenacted stories you had begged to hear. Pulling up the arm of Cinderella, he’d state firmly,  you’re in the deep end now, soldier. To which, in your youth, you’d giggle and clap your hands to. Those words were akin to a Bible verse to you, something you repeated in your head, even when your squad leader was barking orders. It was an essential mission, you’d been briefed more times than you cared to consider which only ever meant one thing: do not fuck this up. 

‘Keep up, yeah?’ a voice said from beside you. 

You turned your head, spying Parker. A man who was in his late twenties, a tad bit older than you were. You'd often referred to him as your older brother, the others in your squad typically addressing the pair of you as siblings.

‘You should listen to your own advice,’ you retorted with a grin.

You set off on foot. Parker walked alongside you as the pair of you walked just behind the rest of the squad. In total, you counted ten men, then yourself and Parker. The noise of chatter was close. You were in the enemy land for sure, listening to the contempt in their voices, you felt adrenaline wash over you as you bent your knees, slowly stalking with the rest of your squad. 

‘Razor-1, all Alpha deployed. Moving to secondary HLZ.’ 

The sputtering of the choppers propellers left you staring in the air, peering through the trees as you watched as the black mass rose into the air, heading further into the District. Your eyes followed the helicopter as you headed further into the greenery, your eyes head not daring to dip. Something in you was aching at the sight of it growing further. The only sound, aside from the distant calls of the enemy, were the short breaths of the soldiers around you, alongside the creeping footsteps as you edge closer and closer. 

‘All Stations — Razor-1 is bracketed. We’re getting hit!’

You looked up, and the cries of the enemy just before you grow louder. And still, you persisted. You weren’t the one under fire, so why would you stop? You watch in the day time sky, witnessing the grey smoke billowing from the missiles fired, heading right for the helicopter, and still, you persist on your operation. 

‘Shit, that was a close one,’ Parker laughed to the right of you. 

Your eyes are still stuck on the helicopter, your lungs aching as you refused to breathe. Another missile was sent into the sky. The radio was muddled, however, the system managed to pick up a disgruntled string of curses before the announcement came. 

‘Razor-1— w- we’re going down!’ 

The sky was then painted with oranges and reds as a whirring filled the emptiness of nature. The helicopter expelled bouts of black smoke as it twisted and turned, falling out of the sky like a dead bird. It dropped graceless, unable to keep itself from its doom. 

‘Hold up,’ said your lieutenant, holding his hand up. 

You stopped, as did the rest of the men surrounding you. A shaky breath escaped you as the crash rumbled the ground you stood on, fire engulfing the wreckage while you stood, the breeze blowing through your hair. A part of you was selfishly thankful that your name had been absent from their list; their fate was far from appealing — and at that point, you didn’t even know if they were dead.

‘Bravo, how copy?’ your lieutenant whispered as you crouched behind him, stray sticks and rocks digging into your knees. You and Parker shared a look as the radio remained silent. ‘Bravo, what’s your status…?’ 

‘Alpha — Bravo compromised. Multiple wounded!’ 

Your grip on your gun tightened. 

‘We’re taking effective fire!’ 

‘Bravo, we’re advancing on the first camp, hold tight,’ called you lieutenant, briefly looking over his shoulder, before pressing onwards.

No one questioned his authority, and even though you couldn’t quite get the image of the helicopter falling out of your mind (the flames of which had seared into you retinas), when you hit the camp the first thing you did is bring your sight to your eye, marking the head of an enemy immediately. He was much too busy to see you, and when your lieutenant fired the first shot, you wasted no time in pulling your own trigger. 

Blood sprayed against the front of the tent the man was standing in front of, his limp body falling into the green canvas. It barely held his weight as his brains poured from the exit would at the back of his head, filling the dip like a swell of rain water would have. It took a few moments for the men standing beside him to react, as they simply stood and blinked at the carnage you had brought with the squeeze of a trigger. Screams exited the mouths of the troops, and you watched as they whipped their heads from side to side in an attempt to find where the bullets were coming from. Waving their guns in the air, you maintained your calmness in the midst of the calamity, not daring to break, even when you and one of the men standing beside the corpse locked eyes. 

From that moment, bullets reigned down hell and you intended to walk out alive. 

Advancing on the war zone was always done with caution and you did so gradually, shooting with key precision. Any missed shot was disregarded in the blink of an eye; you could recover steadily with as little as a hitch in your breath. You continued alongside a handful of your team, whilst the read of them went to the right hand side. The burning of fuel filled your nose, and when you peaked from behind the truck you were crouched behind, you caught sight of a thick cloud of smoke travelling upwards into the sky. 

‘Adams, Jones, flank left,’ demanded your lieutenant, before turning to you, ‘missy, you’re with me. We kill and we get to the Bravo team,’ he stated firmly.

‘Yes sir,’ you nodded, following behind him. You kept your scope upwards in the search for anyone who may have had him in their sights. In the matter of seconds you had advanced, sitting before a crate of ammunition. You watched as he pulled out his magazine, checking his ammo, before snapping it back into his gun. Maintaining a stark look on his face, he sucked on his bottom lip, looking at you. 

‘You got enough?’ 

‘Yeah,’ you hummed, ‘have you?’ 

He chuckled, ‘of course I do, ‘haven’t missed a shot.’ 

You narrowed your eyes at his remark.

Whilst subtle, you were quite sure it was intended to be a jab. However, whatever offence you had quickly shattered when a hand snaked around the corner of the ammunition.

In the blink of an eye, the smug expression on the man’s face quickly fell as chunks of his brains and skull exploded, covering you.

The sound of the gunshot left your ears ringing, a spray of your superiors blood covering your face. A gargled gasp escaped your throat, and you blinked rapidly in an attempt to rid the redness from your eyes. The man fell limp on the ground beside you, the barrel of the gun that had just killed him now aimed at you. You looked death in the eye, snatching your gun and squeezing the trigger as you scrambled to get out of the way of the bullet. 

You landed on your back, the man you’d shot at falling to the ground. A dull ache radiated in your shoulder and you hissed, lifting a shaking hand to assess the damage. Your gloved fingers sank into a bullet wound and you let out a shattered huff.

This entire thing seemed like an ambush — none of the planning made sense in the slightest.

It was a death trap, you swore so under your breath as you pushed yourself up off of your back, a strained grunt escaping you as you did so. It was a pain unlike anything you had felt, and still, it was the least of your concern in that moment. Peaking around the box, you gulped at the sight of your dead superior, using your hand to wipe his blood off of your face. Behind were the feet was a Fed soldier, squirming where he laid, holding his stomach as he screamed out bloody murder.

Maintaining your cover, you pushed up keeping a tight hold on your gun as leaned over him, grabbing the pistol he had shot you with, attaching it to your belt before pressing the barrel of your gun against his chest, lifting your throbbing arm up to the radio attached to your chest. 

‘This is Alpha 4, Lieutenant Williams is KIA.’ 

The shakiness of your tone was embarrassing and when you let go of your radio, you winced as you waited for a response. There were more gunshots, more screaming, yet the radio was silent. 

‘Does anybody copy?’ you asked, looking around, pressing your back against the ammunition station. 

‘It’s a fuckin’ blood bath!’ A voice exclaimed, ‘A- Alpha 2, and 6 are KIA.’ 

‘Parker?’ you asked. 

‘We gotta retreat,’ firmly said the man, ‘fall back to the landing zone and call med evac. We can’t fight all of these, we’re down a full team and three of our own.’ 

Everything in you was insisting on listening to the man; that ultimately seemed like the right call and you supposed you couldn’t exactly turn to your lieutenant for answers. However, when you peaked once again and spied to the crash site, something inside you urged you to persevere. There were people who were injured and as you looked downwards, you swallowed the last of your cowardice and shook your head.

‘No,’ you said through your radio, ‘people are hurt — I’m not going to leave them.’ 

‘Are you fuckin’ stupid?’ he asked, ‘fall back. You will die.’ 

You plotted a bath before yourself. You could rush into the tree line and use the trunks as cover, sneak around the outside of the camp and just a little further to where the helicopter had went down. With the noise from behind you, you were more than sure you could make a break for it; there would be a brief intermission in the fighting and you could slip away without alerting a single soul; for all they knew you had been shot alongside your lieutenant.

‘No, I’m not leaving without trying,’ you said, letting go of the radio. 

Grabbing the dead man’s shoulder, you turned him so he was on his back, taking hold of the dog tag around his neck and yanking it. It snapped off and you shoved it in your pocket before turning your full attention to the tree line.

With your gun in hand, you took one last breath before pushing forward, scurrying away from the position. There were more yells, and had they caught onto the fact that you were rushing away, you were unsure. No bullets were fired in your direction, and you remained crouched, even when you made it back into the shrubbery. 

Smoke continued to float up into the sky, and with your gun close to your chest, you pushed on with your heartbeat ringing in your ears. A voice rattled through your radio, one you recognised to be Parker, however, you disregarded his scolding as you turned it off fully, not daring to compromise yourself. Gunshots from the main camp continued as you creeped further and further to the crash site, stopping just behind a tree trunk when you heard the crackle of flames and the creaking of metal. There was a weeping, followed by a few stray gunshots, but aside from that, the yelling was distant. 

Advancing upwards, you approached the helicopter, finding the entirety of the back to be missing, creating an opening which allowed you to rush into. ‘Bravo team, how copy?’ you called, looking around the wreckage. 

‘Well ain’t you a sight for sore fuckin’ eyes,’ a voice called, and when you lifted your head, you spied a man with his back up against the wall. ‘Where’s the rest of Alpha?’ 

‘Three KIA including Williams,’ you said, rushing up to the mans side, ‘you?’ 

‘All KIA from what I know,’ he said, using the butt of his gun to push himself up off the ground, ‘one wounded if you’re countin’ me.’ 

‘Alpha 7 called for us to fall back — call med evac to get us out of here; the entire things been a fucking shit show.’ 

‘I’ll say,’ said the man, ‘you get hit?’ 

‘Only my shoulder,’ you uttered, ‘I’ll live… can you walk?’ 

‘Just about,’ he hummed, watching as you approached him, wrapping your arm around his shoulders. He leaned on you, however, you noted he was careful with ho much weight he put on you, as the pair of you hobbled to the entrance. It was quite the awkward journey counting that he was a few inches taller than you, luckily for him however, you never feigned in the face of a challenge. ‘Where’d he say he’s callin’ med evac?’ 

‘Original landing site.’ 

‘They won’t make it there,’ he said, ‘they know we’re here now, they’ll shoot that helo down just like the shot our one.’

Grabbing your radio, you tuned back into the channel. ‘Alpha 7, this is Alpha 4. All apart from one in Bravo have been KIA. How do you copy?’ 

‘Med evac is on the way, report back to the original landing site,’ Parker said, ‘we’ll recon here and then go further to get the fuck outta here.’ 

You turned to the man beside you. ’You think you’re gonna be able to make it there?’ 

‘Do I have a fuckin’ choice?’ he asked with a chuckle, ‘you’re basically askin’ if I wanna live or die, love.’

You rolled your eyes at his words. ‘We’ll keep to the outskirts of the camp. How much ammo you got?’ 

‘I’m low, about nine or ten more.’ 

‘Fuck,’ you sighed, ‘we’ll just have to keep a low profile.’ 

He hummed, ‘by the sounds of things they’re distracted enough for us to get around them.’ 

‘I hope so.’ 

Each step was agonising, and with the weight of the man on your shoulder, you found your arm was beginning to ache. At that point, the bullet wound in your shoulder had its own pulse and it was throbbing with a ferocious anger, leaving your eyes watering as the pair of you kept low and out of the way of the camp. Despite the burning in ever inch of your body, you refused to submit to the will of the enemy, and with each shout, you bowed your head further in the hopes to keep in the cover of the bushes around you. The man beside you was trying his best to keep quiet, gritting his teeth to stifle every single grunt that passed his lips. With an uneven ground, there was the occasional stumble which would result in the pair of you cursing under your breaths. 

‘Shit, sorry miss,’ grumbled the man, digging his blunt nails into the black sleeve of your shirt.

Biting back a hiss, you gulped back a curse. ‘I- It’s fine,’ you struggled out through gritted teeth in spite of the fact that you felt as though you were two steps away from collapsing. The wound in your arm was leaking, the blood pouring out of it soaking into your torn shit. It was sure to be a bitch when it eventually came to the removal of the bullet. Despite your doubts, gun fire was prolonged behind the pair of you, and the further you moved through enemy territory the more you found hope that more of your squad would make it out alive. 

‘Alpha 4?’ 

‘Parker?’ 

‘I got bad news,’ murmured the man through the radio, ‘radioed med evac and they said they can’t drop here; people know we’re here according to what’s been relayed to the team. If we want to evacuate, we have to push on into the city; apparently a task force is out there looking to assassinate General Almargo — we’ll get out with them.’ 

You paled at the news and both you and your new friend stopped in your tracks. 

‘Are you fuckin’ serious?’ 

‘Unfortunately,’ sighed the man, ‘it’s just me… no one else made it.’ 

‘Fuck,’ cursed the man beside you, looking at you, ‘miss, I can’t make it into the city with my fuckin’ leg, we’re five miles out.’ 

You gulped. ‘I have one of Bravo’s members, his leg is fucked—’

‘We meet up, rob a car and get the fuck out of here and meet up with the soldiers in the city. I’ll be in the roadside just North of the camp; there’s a road that will take us directly into the city.’ 

You kept your mouth shut in spite of your objections. ‘Okay,’ you said, ‘we’ll walk to the road but keep just in the clearing to make sure we’re not spotted.’ 

‘Roger that.’ 

The channel fell silent and you turned to the limping man beside you. ‘It’s the best we can do… I’m sorry.’ 

He sucked in a breath as though he was accepting something. ‘Not your fault, miss,’ he uttered, stumbling. The pair of you wobbled as a result of his misstep, a particularly loud crunch sounding. A strained whimper left his mouth as he fell forward, pulling you along with him. You attempted to catch your fall, turning to your side in the hopes of avoiding landing on your right shoulder. In spite of such, when you hit the ground, a pang of pain which caused goosebumps to form flooded the entirety of your body. Forcing your lips together, you rolled onto your back, immediately holding your arm, a trembling hand hovering over the wound. 

‘Fuck,’ you hissed, the world spinning momentarily. 

Much to you dismay, your fall was not as silent as you had hoped it to be as a whistle confirmed that the men who were hunting you almost heard it. Your pity party was brief as you pushed yourself off of the ground, staring down at the man who nursed his leg. It was only then that you truly assessed the damage done. His bone protruded from his skin, droplets of his blood leaking onto the dirt below the pair of you. 

‘We’ve gotta go,’ you willed, leaning over to grab hold of his wrist, ‘they know we’re here.’ 

‘I’m not going anywhere miss,’ he said through a groan, ‘I can’t walk in this.’ 

‘You can lean on me,’ you whispered, tugging on his arm all for him to raise his hand, prying your hand off him. ‘Come on.’ 

‘No,’ he huffed, dropping his hand to grab his dog tag from around his neck, pulling it off and holding his chain out to you, ‘take this and run.’ 

‘We can—’

‘No,’ he refuted harshly, lifting his head up as footsteps edged closer, ‘take this and get the fuck out of here.’ Pressing your lips together, you looked the man in the eyes. ‘You tried your hardest, but you can’t save everyone,’ he said, shaking the chain in his hand, ‘now take it and get out of here… for the both of us, yeah?’ 

With a sigh, you snatched his dog tag off of him, wasting little time as you swooped down, retrieving your gun from off of the ground. Your aching knees were thankful for the increase of pace and you didn’t care to look back at the certain slaughter of the man who had essentially given up his life for yours. Rather than tightening your hold on him, which you much rather would have, your hands clasped tightly around his chain as you proceeded North, uncaring for anything that might have stopped you in your tracks.

The entire thing was a disaster, so, when you eventually came across Parker hidden near the roadside, you couldn’t quite believe your luck. He’d grabbed your ankle as you were staggering, pulling you into him. Before you could yell out, he hushed you, his paw-like hand covering your mouth. 

‘Chill, it’s just me,’ he whispered. 

Despite knowing you were in safe hands, you drove your elbow into his stomach. His hold on you released immediately as he keeled over with a straight moan. 

‘Asshole,’ you exhaled breathlessly, turning to look at him, ‘you get hit?’ 

‘Not until this point,’ he struggled out, ‘you?’ 

‘Shoulder,’ you said, looking down at your arm, ‘hurts like fuck.’ 

‘I can imagine,’ he hummed, ‘where’s your friend?’ 

‘Didn’t make it,’ you said, your hands hovering over the pocket where you had safely tucked his dog tag away. ‘He had a broken leg, he gave up.’ 

‘Fuck,’ he cursed, ‘that entire thing was a shit show,’ he grumbled, ‘they said it would be easy… there were more than we were told.’ 

‘Tricks of the trade,’ you said, ‘how far are we from the city?’ 

‘Twenty five minutes,’ he said, ‘this road leads to the national park, but if we follow it south we’ll get to the city.’ 

‘Okay,’ you hummed, ‘any traffic in this area?’ 

‘Haven’t seen a car pass me and I’ve been here around twenty minutes — but best to keep out of the way, yeah?’ he asked, ‘how are you for ammo?’ 

‘Still got some.’ 

‘Good,’ he hummed, ‘c���mon, they’ll be gaining on us if we stay here for too long.’ 

The pair of you set off with a fierce hunger, not wanting to be captured by the enemy. Shifting to the other side of the road, you traversed through the dry forest, your hands shaking. Your eyes ached and your head throbbed as the pain in your shoulder worsened. Whilst anyone else would be fleeing from the city and turning around when they caught the sounds of gunshots, you found humour in the fact that the pair of you were charging into battle head on. Parker walked alongside you keeping an eager eye out, his gun poised and prepared to shoot. 

‘I can’t fuckin’ believe this,’ he huffed, ‘I got no fuckin’ intel — didn’t even know we were going in there to just die. Did you know about the other task force?’ 

‘No,’ you answered, ‘we were there to kill and find evidence; that’s what they told us at least.’ 

‘Yeah fuckin’ right,’ snorted the man, ‘more like sent us in there to die.’ 

You bowed your head, your face creasing. The dried blood of your lieutenant was sticky. ‘At least we’re still here,’ you mumbled. 

Parker chuckled, ‘of course we’re still here,’ he said, looking at you, ‘you really think we’d die like that? No; we know what we’re doing. When this task force sees us, they’re gonna be jumpin’ for fucking joy.’ 

You laughed at his enthusiasm. ‘Sure they are.’ 

‘They’ll sign the pair of us and we won’t have to deal with any of this bullshit.’ 

‘Or they’ll kill us on sight.’ 

‘I’d like to see them try,’ he snorted, ‘we’re gonna get there, help them execute that son of a bitch, and then ride out of here on a helicopter.’

‘Into the sunset?’ 

‘You bet,’ he hummed, ‘have a cocktail in hand too.’ 

Even though the pair of you were on the verge of a brutal death, you still had to quiet your laughter at his words. The images of what had happened moments prior were still very much present, and yet, you laughed. It was a strange feeling, for your head to be set alight with horrific images and to still be able to laugh about something ridiculous. Were you even still human for doing so? That, you were unsure of, although, you supposed morality meant nothing in this line of work.

After everything, the pair of you walked together as though you were two school friends walking home. With each step a second passed and you were conscious that the world still proceeded spinning, even though the hearts of many had stopped beating. It was a vindictive cycle — cruel, how everyone simply continued even when a life ended. You supposed, however, that you couldn’t address nature as a monster when you kept putting one foot in front of the other; you were just as bad as her. 

The city appeared on the horizon after what felt like an eternity, not helped by the dry humour of Parker. Much to your surprise, it seemed too easy to have found your way into the city and you raised your brows upwards as the pair of you rested against a wall of a house with shattered windows. It appeared to be a grounds keepers home, only, it was empty and the windows had been shattered. Inside, you spied graffiti across the breast of the living room wall, staining the yellow wallpaper. It was a shame to see such a quaint home in ruin. 

‘Alpha 7 to Home base. Myself and Alpha 4 have made it to the city, looking for exfil; both the rest of Alpha and Bravo are KIA.’ 

You stared at your feet, awaiting a response. ‘Alpha 7, this is home base. Task force Stalker are in the central area, exfil will be near the dam.’ 

‘Roger that,’ Parker said, allowing his hand to drop, ‘we should’ve robbed some of the uniforms from the dead troops; we’re gonna stick out.’ 

‘It’s either we get killed by them or our own men — which is worse?’ 

‘Both are bad,’ he said, ‘from where we are, we fifteen out from the dam,’ he said, pausing for a moment as gunshots echoed in the distance, ‘we’re probably going to walk into a battle.’ 

‘What’s one more?’ you asked, ‘we’re closer to getting home, that’s all that matters.’ 

He nodded his head at your words, ‘keep an eye out. If we see a guard, kill them quietly.’ 

You smiled. ‘Roger that.’ 

Without a word, the pair of you head through the city, ensuring to keep in the shadows in spite of every street the pair of you passed appearing to be that of a ghost town. War had most definitely destroyed the inners of the city; there was rubble in the streets and what were once family homes were shells of their former selves. It was a shame they met such a fate, an undeserved one and thankless all at the hands of corruption. You wondered if the families who lived there made it out alive or if they were forced into the military… or worse.

It was difficult to track the gunfire as with each street you walked past, the sound seemed to travel all the same. For all you knew, the pair of you could have been on the cusp on the battlefield and would have been none the wiser to it.

Either way, you were prepared.

You’d made it that far, you were not going to dare to fold at this point. You could hear yelling from the enemy, resonating off of the houses just like the gunfire did. 

‘You have any idea what they’re saying?’ you asked. 

‘Something about the dam,’ replied Parker. 

‘That’s where the task for is, right?’ 

‘Apparently so,’ he said, ‘whatever it is, it sounds like they’re panicking.’ 

You pursed your lips. ‘Maybe our guys are winning.’ 

The screeching of tires caught your attention and when a car whirled past the pair of you, Parker grabbed you by the forearm and pulled you into an alleyway. Only, there was no way the men in the car couldn’t have seen you, and yet, they didn’t stop. Instead, the sped away as though they were in a police chase, not caring for anything in their surroundings.

Your chest tightened when another car followed suit, and then another, and then another. The stench of burning rubber filled the streets and you watched each car speed past you. Something was not quite right and when you turned to face Parker, you found he felt the same. 

Opening your mouth, you went to question the strange behaviour all for the ground to rumble below the pair of you. Furrowing your brows, you held the wall behind you to steady yourself, all for another rumble to shake the ground again. What sounded like an explosion sounded, however, when you turned your eyes towards the sky, you found it was clear. 

‘What the fuck was that?’ you asked. 

‘It sounded like a bomb went off,’ he remarked, the pair of you moving away from the alleyway. ‘C’mon, we’ve gotta make it to the dam.’ 

Nodding your head, the pair of you cut through the alleyway, onto the main street. It was then you saw it. Very rarely were you surprised, the blood on the face was enough to prove that shock had very little effect on you. However, your burning legs were glued to the spot as your eyes widened at the sight before you.

A wave that must have been three stories was barely a mile out and it was charging with a vengeance with the intention of dragging you down for the life you took that day. A shaky sigh escaped you, and when you turned to Parker, you found the same horror on his face. Turning to look at the house behind you, you cursed under your breath finding that the apartments across the street would be much more suited; the buildings were taller. 

‘Parker, we gotta go,’ you said breathlessly, grabbing his wrist and pulling up. He awoke from his trance, breaking into a sprint. 

You chased after him, your hold on his wrist slipping as he marched forward. Your body was set alight, the last reserves of adrenaline you had within you powering you to make it to the door of the apartment block just as the water came crashing in. Parker was already half way up a flight of stairs, leaving you wading through waist high water which was only growing deeper and deeper. 

‘Parker!’ you yelled, holding your arms out to the side of yourself in an attempt to maintain balance. The current beneath the surface was reckless, pulling you side to side as you battled. No way in hell would you be able to swim your way out of this — especially not with a busted shoulder.

Gritting your teeth, you lunged forward, grabbing onto the bannister of the staircase, letting out a mangled cry as you pulled yourself upwards. Your right arm felt as though it was going to fall off, and the more pressure you put on yourself, the deeper the bullet lodged in your arm dug. A flash of hot pain seared as you continued to use the banister to keep yourself from sinking into the water.  

‘PARKER!’ You screamed, in the hopes of catching the mans attention. 

Your heart was thumping in your ears, your eyes were burning as the water grew higher and higher. Swallowing hard, you fought with all your might to break through the persistent current. It soaked your wound, pooling just above your chin. The sudden flush strained the muscles in your arm, your grip slipping. The building creaked and your arm was pulled behind your back. Blinded by your fury, you opened your mouth to scream the mans name once more, all for it to be a gargle as your hold on the bannister slipped completely and you were pulled into the water. 

The water was murky, hiding all enemies within it. 

You were subjected to travel with the current, forcing yourself to keep your eyes open in spite of how bad the stung. Looking around with each passing metre of water, you searched desperately for something to latch onto, waving your arms like a madman. You broke the water once or twice, gasping for air. Your lungs were flooded and you spluttered before being sucked back under. Your choking continued under water, being damned to a watery grave. Your head grew lighter and your lungs ached. 

This was it. This was how you were going to die. All because of a coward. 

Your vision began to darken, the void yearning for you to fall into her arms. Only your troubles were quelled when you spied a hand in the water. Without a single thought, you reached out to snatch it, choking out under water in agony as you were nearly pulled with the water. However, the hand on you turned into two and you were pulled up and out of the water.

The building you were pulled into was full of water too, only, it was still.

You took a few seconds to choke up the water you had swallowed, unable to thank your saviour — hell, for all you knew, it could have been the enemy. Wiping your eyes with your wet sleeve, you snivelled, lifting your head to see a man adorned in a green gear staring at you. He was masked in spite of the risk it posed to the water. A sniper sat on his back and he reached his hand out to take hold of your arm. You let him, wiping the snot on your upper lip with your gloved hand, blinking away the water. 

‘You American?’ he asked with a gruff tone, observing the patch on your arm. 

You nodded quickly, unable to think of the correct words. ‘Alpha 4,’ you rasped. ‘O- Our team was ambushed… helicopter went down.’ His eyes narrowed. ‘I got away,’ you confirmed, clearing your throat, ‘called for exfil a- and they told us to meet a task force here.’ 

‘Stalker?’ 

‘Yes,’ you nodded. He gave you a nod. ‘Are you with them?’ 

‘Yeah,’ he answered, keeping hold of your arm. ‘You the only survivor?’ 

‘I was with someone else,’ you said, ‘but he left me for dead. We got caught in the flood and he rushed ahead of me… I got swept under. I couldn’t keep hold of anything because of my shoulder.’ 

His eyes fell down, spotting the bloody bullet hole in your shoulder. 

‘He one of your squad mates?’ 

‘Yes,’ you confirmed. 

He shook his head. ‘You got a weapon?’ 

Patting the holster on your thigh, you took hold of the handle of the knife. Pulling it out of the water, you showed it to him. 

‘Good,’ he said, ‘you’re with me.’ 

‘O- Okay,’ you said, ‘where’s the rest of your squad?’ 

‘Watched them run into a warehouse,’ he said, ‘follow me and keep low,’ he instructed, moving through the water without another word. 

Following after him, you held the knife in your hand tightly. You were trembling so much you feared it would slip out of your hold, and then you really thought you might have been fucked. You supposed almost dying would do that, but the betrayal of the man you had thought to be a brother felt worse. It was a dull jab in your spleen and your head throbbed as your face grew hot at the thought. 

What a fucking coward.

‘What the fuck happened?’ you asked the stranger in front of you. 

‘Set off two missiles and blew the dam open.’ 

‘Why would they do that?’ you choked out, their action seeming senseless. 

‘Scorched earth.’ 

‘Oh,’ you mumbled. Your nose continued to run as you wiped away streams of snot. ‘Thank you,’ you blurted out. The man in front of you stopped, looking over his shoulder, appearing what you could only interpret as confused. ‘You could have left me to drown.’ 

He nodded in your direction, it was curt and reeked of professionalism. He turned his back to you again, moving further through the building, expecting you to follow after him — and you did. His quietness was peculiar, unlike the sorts you had seen, especially after living with such a rowdy squad for so many years. The contrast was as sharp as a dagger, and you almost felt offended by his dryness.

Opening his mouth for a ‘you’re welcome’ surely wouldn’t have killed him. Still, you didn’t know him and your grievances fell flat on their face. You couldn’t insult the man who had just saved your life, no. You’d save that anger for the man who left you to die. 

You traversed through the building, eyes darting, surveying each and every corner. 

‘To any calls signs on this frequency, please respond. This is Ghost Two-Two.’ 

The man in front of you stopped, pressing his fingers into his earpiece. ‘Clear, Merrick.’ 

‘Keegan?’ said the voice on the other end, ‘you have sights on Elias or Rorke?’ 

‘Negative.’ 

‘Shit,’ huffed the man, ‘we lost ‘em in the water… we’re heading towards the hotel to recon.’ 

‘Roger,’ said the man, ‘I’ll be on the look out for Rorke and Elias. On my way.’

‘Heard,’ said the man before the line fell dead. 

Keegan continued on without a word and you followed after him. He lurked like a shadow as the pair of you came to a set of shattered window. Pushing himself upwards, he hung over the edge, before pushing himself off of it, landing on a bus which had gotten lodged in the middle of the street, acting like a bridge to the other building.

You’d expected him to continue on without you as you pulled yourself out of the water with a wince, hanging off of the ledge. Using your feet, you pressed them against the concrete, propelling your jump. You fell freely for two seconds before landing a top the bus. It creaked with the pair of you standing upon it, urging the pair of you to continue onwards. You took the warning without a question, following after the man. 

Unlike when you followed your squad, you felt like a lost puppy following after the first person who had leant down to pet it. It was demeaning, patronising. But you didn’t change your demeanour, too conscious of upsetting the man who had saved your life. However, there was one burning question that caused your legs to move faster in order to catch up to him. 

‘What is your squad doing here?’ you asked, jumping back into waist-high water as the pair of you entered another building. You landed with a huff, lifting your arms slightly to keep them out of the water. ‘We weren’t informed of there being anyone else… that’s why I’m asking.’ 

He looked you up and down as though you were one of them. Thinking for a second longer, his shoulders raised slightly as his tilted his head to the side. ‘We’re here to neutralise General Almagro,’ he responded, ‘and that’s still the plan.’

His discomfort in confessing such was potent and you had believed that he would have much rather kept it to himself. It seemed as though he thought telling you was a compromise — a breach, despite knowing you and him were fighting the same battle. Granted, even if the pair of you did escape, you were quite sure you wouldn’t be able to look any one in the eye and recount the terrors that had happened in such a short span of time. 

You wondered if you still had blood on your face. 

Navigating the flooding buildings with him was oddly peaceful, contrasting the crashing waves and sirens blurring on the streets. Instead, you waded through the murky water, keeping your mind clear of what else could have been lurking in there with you. Goosebumps ran rampant on your flesh, and your bottom lip trembled as your teeth clattered. Despite the beaming sun outside, the water was ice cold, subzero even. It did, however, work to soothe your burning limbs. 

You travelled building to building, cautious when it came to crossing over to another one. Luckily the cars in the street worked well to be a good enough bridge to ensure your safety. Anyone else would have convinced the gun fire would have been quelled after such a catastrophe, but it raged on, seemingly with more of a vengeance. Not that you were naive enough to believe that an operation would have been abandoned, of course not. Your mind seemed to be escaping you, you concluded, conjuring thoughts you’d typically roll your eyes at. 

It was when you made it one of the last buildings in your pursuit that you stilled, the gun fire being much louder than any you had heard over the passing minutes. Keegan turned to you, motioning towards a set of stairs which, supposedly led to the roof of the building. Reaching in his belt, he retrieved a pistol, holding it out to you. 

‘You need that,’ you said, pushing his hand away whilst shaking his head. ‘I’m fine.’ 

He didn’t speak, rather taking hold of your wrist, forcing the pistol into your hand, leaving you with no time to give it back to you as he turned his back to you, stalking up to the stairs. 

The next few minutes play out in your hands.

The typical battle you have part-took in during your time in the military, only, you had more time (than you would have liked) to watch the man who had been so insistent of you taking his pistol. He moved like the men’s shadows, quiet, slick — it was so impressive that you had only managed to take down one of the men when there had been four; he dealt with the rest, using their own guns against them.

When their bodies were floating in the water, he let out a short breath from behind the mask, turning to look at you as you approached him. It was a wordless token of his appreciation, you supposed, not knowing fully what his look meant. His recovery time from battle was seamless and the pair of you carried on as though nothing had happened. 

‘Merrick, hold your fire, we’re approaching your six,’ Keegan called as the pair of you moved down from atop a building into the remnants of one that had originally been stationed beside it.

Below the pair of you as you climbed was a group of men wearing similar uniforms to the one Keegan was wearing. The tightness in your chest eased ever so slightly upon the sight of the group as, while you had seen Keegan in action and had your own capabilities, there was something about being surrounded by more soldiers which made you feel at home.

‘Happy you could make it,’ an unfamiliar voice called over the radio, ‘thought your luck had finally ran out.’

A man with a black cap approached the pair of you, holding out his hand to you while Keegan jumped down back into the water. While you furrowed your brows at his advanced, you opted to be polite and placed your hand in his, allowing him to help you down. He did so with ease, looking you up and down. His confusion was evident. ‘Who’s your friend?’ he asked, letting go of your hand to hold his gun again. 

‘Her team was ambushed,’ Keegan answered, ‘the groups sent to distract.'

‘Ah,’ breathed the man, ‘you the only one to survive?’ 

‘There was another,’ you responded, trying to swallow down your anger. What the fuck did he mean by distract? ‘Left me for dead to save his own ass.’ 

‘That’s the problem with people in those squads,’ said the man standing in front of you, ‘they never protect their own. But you don’t have to worry about that happening while you’re with us,’ he said, looking around at his group, pride swelling in his chest, ‘does she?’ 

There was a collective ‘negative’ that sounded from all the men standing around you, and you felt your lips twitch, yet bit back your smile. 

A crash alerted all of you as a pile up of cars formed on the street, building a makeshift path to the parking lot across from you akin to the path you and Keegan had taken whilst traversing the wasteland of a city. Water spills up and over the metal, however, it seems to keep steady despite the creaking of the vehicles. 

‘We gotta get across,’ said the man in the black cap. 

Turning to him, a bearded man furrowed his brows. ‘Any ideas?’ 

The man in front of you glanced to the pile up, nodding. ‘Yeah. Follow me!’ 

He pushed first, climbing over the disintegrating wall and jumping onto the side of the car that had gotten caught. You watched as he moved effortlessly, and one by one, the group followed after him. You waited patiently, not wanting to overstep, and when it was only you and Keegan left, you waited for him to move.

However, he didn’t, instead motioning for you to cross over. You did as you were told, your eyes trained on your feet to ensure you did not end up in the treacherous waters again. Keegan was quick behind you, and when you made it to the other side, you allowed yourself to breathe, not noticing you’d been holding your breath. 

Taking cover behind one of the cars, you caught sight of more men in the water before the group, holding the pistol you had been gifted in your hands.

No words are shared as you work on clearing out more enemies, the further you push giving you ample opportunity to tuck the pistol into your waistband as you take one of the dead men’s guns. Pulling the magazine out, you glance into it, ensuring there is more than one shot. You were pleased to see only a few shots had been fired, pushing it back into the gun. You spied dry land in the distance, and the two soldiers who were shooting were dropped quickly. The whirling of propellors was the thing which sparked conversation. 

‘Helo Inbound!’

‘They’re picking up Almagro. We gotta move!’ declared the man with the black cap. 

‘We gotta get through that building!’ 

As though sent into overdrive, the gun fire and rounds shot increased and their determination left your own heart raging. The prospect that you were fighting with one of the best teams dawned upon you and you felt inspired. The day had started so terribly, yet, you made it out alive and you were fighting with a Task Force. How twisted the universe could be — to take so much but still give so much more. 

It almost made the betrayal you suffered hurt a little less. 

‘Elias, Merrick, you’re with me!’ stated the man, ‘Ajax, Keegan, miss! Cover our six!’ 

You promptly nod, although slightly soured. He couldn’t have been blamed, however; neither of you had had the time to share formalities. You pushed up two flights of stairs, being met with a metal door. Both the (who you assume to be their leader) and the bearded man crouch either side of the double doors. 

‘Elias, the door!’ 

The man standing before the pair of them, charged the door and force it open, meanwhile, you, Keegan, and Ajax watch on. When the door is pulled open, a helicopter is right there. Without a second thought, the three men charge it.

The three of you approached their position, keeping your eye trained on the surrounding area to ensure no stray bullets could compromise the objective. You stood idle with your finger on the trigger, all for the sight of a helicopter propelling downwards to catch your attention. Gunshots echoed from the inners of it, as it near enough squealed as it nose-dived downwards. You watched in horror — three men were in that helo, and there was physically nothing anyone could do to help them aside from watch as they met the doom. 

A crash erupted, as it dipped from out of view and you stared wide eyed, looking at the two men standing beside you. Ajax shared your horror, rushing to the edge of the roof, peering over the edge. Meanwhile, Keegan kept his eye out for any possible threat. Following Ajax, you peered over the edge to see that the helicopter had crashed on a balcony below the roof, most of it dangling off of the side. It creaks as a fire rages. 

‘Is there anything we can do?’ you asked. 

‘Negative,’ Ajax said, shaking his head, ‘to go after them would be a death sentence — they didn’t fall far either. I doubt any of them are seriously injured.’ 

You pursed your lips, unsure whether or not his speculation was the truth. The helicopter began to shift, falling forward. Swallowing hard, your throat tightened at the sound of half of the helicopter falling into the water with a splash. 

‘Everyone good?’ a voice called from inside. 

You caught the relief on Ajax’s face. 

There was a mumbled voice, you didn’t quite catch what was said before there was another splash in the water below. 

‘Shit! Rorke! Somebody, grab him! The whole thing’s shifting!’ 

There was a grunt and the crunch of metal. 

‘It’s breaking apart! We gotta move, now!’ 

The remaining part of the helicopter began to teeter on the edge it was sitting on. The weight of the day you had crashed down on you, the adrenaline that had powered you and kept your mind away from the bullet in your shoulder wearing off in the blink of an eye. Your entire body was on fire and you were stuck in a state of peril. Too many people had died that day, and you were going to be forced to witness three more die too. 

‘We’re too heavy! You gotta let him go!’ 

The creaking continued before you heard a shrill yell, ‘ELIAS!’ 

You spotted a body falling into the water, the man condemned to his untimely death as a row of ladders kept him trapped. His yelling was quelled when he his the rushing stream, and just as the rest of the helo followed suit, you watched as two men climbed out, throwing themselves on the ground. The heaved out breaths, Elias forcing himself up off of the ground, peering over the ledge. You couldn’t see his face, but he was trembling. 

Behind him, Merrick grunted, looking up to the three of you on the ledge. 

‘Amalgro’s dead,’ he said breathlessly, pressing his fingers into his ear piece, ‘threat neutralised. Rorke’s MIA. Calling for exfil.’ 

Chapter Two

[literaryvein-reblogs]

hii I love your stuff can you make writing notes about volcanoes I wanted to write abt them for my writing project and I'm having a hard time on in thx ^^

Writing Notes: Volcanoes

Volcano - vent in the crust of Earth or another planet or satellite, from which issue eruptions of molten rock, hot rock fragments, and hot gases.

Volcanoes are Earth's geologic architects.

They've created more than 80 percent of our planet's surface, laying the foundation that has allowed life to thrive.

Their explosive force crafts mountains as well as craters.

Lava rivers spread into bleak landscapes.

But as time ticks by, the elements break down these volcanic rocks, liberating nutrients from their stony prisons and creating remarkably fertile soils that have allowed civilizations to flourish.

Some 75% of the world's active volcanoes are positioned around the ring of fire.

It is a 25,000-mile long, horseshoe-shaped zone that stretches from the southern tip of South America across the West Coast of North America, through the Bering Sea to Japan, and on to New Zealand.

This region is where the edges of the Pacific and Nazca plates butt up against an array of other tectonic plates.

Importantly, however, the volcanoes of the ring aren't geologically connected.

In other words, a volcanic eruption in Indonesia is not related to one in Alaska, and it could not stir the infamous Yellowstone supervolcano.

Active – volcanoes known to have erupted during historical times. (Total Number = 529)

Dormant – volcanoes that have not erupted during historical times, but will probably erupt again. (Total Number = 1,340)

Extinct – volcanoes that are unlikely to erupt again.

The 3 Classic Types of Volcanoes

TYPE — SIZE — LIFESPAN

Cinder Cone — Small (<1,000 ft; 330 m tall) — Short (single eruption of a few months)

Composite Volcano — Large (usually between 6,500 and 20,000 ft; 2,000-3,000 m tall) — Long (hundreds of thousands of years)

Shield Volcano — Very large (up to a maximum of 33,000 ft; 10,000 m tall) — Very long (up to a million years or longer)

Different shapes of volcanoes have different kinds of eruptions.

The most explosive eruptions come from stratovolcanoes, like the Augustine Volcano in Alaska. When they erupt, stratovolcanoes blow huge columns of gas and ash into the air that can collapse in hot, fast-moving clouds called pyroclastic flows.

A shield volcano, like Mauna Kea in Hawaii, has gentle slopes formed by oozing, runny lava. The magma is low in silica and low in gas, so it doesn’t erupt explosively.

A lava dome, like the one of Chaitén Volcano in Chile, forms when thick lava oozes from a vent, piles up, and cools into a steep mound. The lava is thick because it’s high in silica, and it oozes instead of explodes because it’s low in gas. Sometimes lava domes form after explosive eruptions.

A cinder cone volcano, like Tavurvur in Papua New Guinea, forms when erupted fragments harden and fall to the ground, accumulating around the vent in a cone shape. The lava is low in silica, so the lava is runny. High gas levels make for the explosive eruptions that send it flying. Cinder cones typically form at the beginning of eruptions, and lava flow follows.

Olympus Mons - a giant shield volcano on Mars. It is believed to be the largest volcano in the solar system. The entire island of Hawaii would fit in its caldera.

In more-detailed classification schemes based on character of eruption, volcanic activity and volcanic areas are commonly divided into 6 major types, shown schematically in the diagram. They are listed as follows in order of increasing degree of explosiveness:

Icelandic

Hawaiian

Strombolian

Vulcanian

Pelean

Plinian

There are different types of volcanic eruptive events, including:

pyroclastic explosions, with is fast-moving hot gas and volcanic matter

hot ash releases

lava flows

gas emissions

glowing avalanches, when gas and ashes release.

Volcanic eruptions can also cause secondary events, such as floods, landslides and mudslides, if there are accompanying rain, snow or melting ice.

Hot ashes can also start wildfires.

Volcanic eruptions can impact climate change through emitting volcanic gases like sulfur dioxide, which causes global cooling, and volcanic carbon dioxide, which has the potential to promote global warming.

Features and Erupted Material

Viscosity: The resistance of a material (usually a fluid) to flow. Example of comparison would be the higher resistance to flow of cake batter compared to water.

Lava Flow: Lava flow is thin at the top of the cone, while lava pooled at the base is very thick. When eruptions end, erosion processes start on the cooled lava, including glacier erosion, flowing water, rockfall, and landslides. The volcano will only grow in size if the amount/volume of lava erupted is more than the amount that is lost to erosion.

Volcanic Gases: Most gases originate in the mantle and are transported to the crust and surface by complex interactions with magma and rocks along the way. In general, gases are dissolved in the magma. At shallow depths, as pressure on the magma decreases, gases leave the magma. The gases can interact with surrounding rocks or continue to the surface. The most common volcanic gases are: Water Vapor (H2O), Carbon Dioxide (CO2), and Sulfur Dioxide (SO2). Gases can be both dissolved in the magma chamber and also emitted from volcanoes at the surface. It’s the dissolved gases cause volcanoes to erupt.

A magma chamber contains high pressure and dissolved gases.

The density contrast between the magma and the surrounding rock causes more buoyant magma to rise. As the magma rises, the dissolved gases start to come out of the liquid and form bubbles.

As the bubbles grow and increase in volume, it causes the magma to became more buoyant and ascend closer to the surface, allowing the overlying pressure to decrease and produce magmatic foam.

When the pressure in the bubbles is greater than the pressure of the overlying rock, then the chamber will burst causing a volcanic eruption.

The viscosity, temperature and composition of the magma determine whether the explosion is explosive or effusive.

More Features and Erupted Material

Silica: Influences lava viscosity and overall shape of the volcano. Silica molecules form a strong bond that permits entrapment of volcanic gases and promotes explosive volcanic eruptions. Low-silican magmas allow rapid escape of gases and low-explosivity eruptions. Other factors that control magma viscosity include the temperature, gas, water content and the amount of crystals in the magma.

Color: Color and texture of lava vary considerably depending on cooling conditions. Lava rocks at high temperatures appear red to orange in color but cool quickly to shades of red (due to oxidation) and gray.

Sound: Witnesses of slow-moving, partially cooled lava flows report sounds similar to breaking of glass and pottery, caused by the splintering of the cooled outer skin of the lava flow. In contrast, the passing of a pyroclastic flow is eerily quiet. Some people say this is because its sound energy is absorbed within the billowing ash cloud.

Smell: Observers of lava flows report a slight sulfur smell in the air and the odor of burning vegetation.

Texture: Lava at Mount Rainier is not as fluid as lava at the volcanoes on Hawai'i, where lava flows sometimes resemble hot molasses, nor is it as viscous as lava at Mount St. Helens.

Tephra: Fragmental material produced by a volcanic eruption regardless of composition, fragment size or emplacement mechanism. Also referred to as pyroclasms (airborne), and pyroclastic flows (on ground) and rocks. Tephra can stay in the stratosphere for days to weeks following an eruption. It can also reflect light and heat from the sun back into the atmosphere. Tephra mixed with precipitation can also be acidic and cause acidic rain and snowfall. Tephra is made up of ash (fragments of pulverized rock, minerals and volcanic glass), volcanic blocks (a mass of molten rock), and lapilli (little broken up pieces of molten or semi-molten lava ejected from eruption).

Other Types of Volcanic Rock

If a rhyolite lava flow cools quickly, it can quickly freeze into a black glassy substance called obsidian. When filled with bubbles of gas, and usually with explosive eruptions, the same lava will form pumice. If the same lave is allowed to cool slowly…it will form a light-colored, uniformly solid rock called rhyolite.

Pumice most commonly forms with rhyolite lava flows, though it has formed from dacite and andacite. flows as well. It is so lightweight, it will float on water.

Obsidian has been used for centuries in many countries for things such as weapons and art.

The shape and size of a volcano are controlled by several factors

The volume of volcanic products

The interval length between eruptions

The composition of volcanic products

The variety of volcanic eruption types

The geometry of the vent

The environment into which the volcanic products are erupted

Overall, 44 volcanoes were in continuing eruption status as of 23 December 2024.

An eruption marked as "continuing" does not always mean persistent daily activity, but indicates at least intermittent eruptive events without a break of 3 months or more.

There are typically 40-50 continuing eruptions, and out of those generally around 20 will be actively erupting on any particular day (though detailed statistics on daily activity is not usually kept).

Health concerns after a volcanic eruption include:

Infectious disease

Respiratory illness

Burns

Injuries from falls

Vehicle accidents related to the slippery, hazy conditions caused by ash

When warnings are heeded, the chances of adverse health effects from a volcanic eruption are very low.

Volcanic Ash. Exposure to ash can be harmful. Ash is gritty, abrasive, sometimes corrosive, and always unpleasant. Small ash particles can abrade (scratch) the front of the eye. Ash particles may contain crystalline silica, a material that causes a respiratory disease called silicosis.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Thanks so much! Do go through the links above for more details I wasn't able to include here. Hope this helps with your writing :)

[cheriladycl01]

In your Dreams - Lewis Hamilton x FrenchOlympicBadminton! Reader

Plot: Lewis loves Golfing, Surfing and Skiing, so you’d think if he’d end up with an athlete he’d end up with one in one of his secondary sports. But no, hes with you on the red carpet of the debut of a movie airing about your life and your struggles before becoming the youngest Olympic Gold Medalist in Badminton, and having the most consecutive medals too.

Warning: lots of dark themes and undertones about your backstory in this one’s, specifically abuse in the system, parental pressures, grooming and SA (by an ex partner) etc

You walked along the red carpet outside the Leicester Square cinema where the exclusive showing of your new movie was occurring.

Lewis couldn’t keep his eyes off of you in that pretty red dress he loved. The moment he saw you in it, his brain had pretty much short-circuited and his only thoughts were off you.

He knew in the red carpet photos you’d be there radiant as ever and he’d be looking at you like some love sick puppy. But he really didn’t care, this was your night and he was here to support you … his fiancé.

“Thank you for being here tonight. I know it wasn’t easy to get time away” you smile up at him, holding him close to you and looking at him with an adoration he saw often. You knew he was busy with the season as it hadn’t started off as Mercedes Gad expected and he was under a lot of pressure from Toto that he’d been feeling overwhelmed most days.

“You know I’d do just about anything for you my Cherie” he said using the nickname you loved.

“I needed you here tonight” you smile pulling him into a kiss, the camera flashes instantly picking up speed and consistency making you giggle into the kiss.

“I know darling” he says keeping his hold on your waist tight as you walk past the photographers and paparazzi posing every now and then when they ask you to stop.

You eventually get to the people interviewing you, happier to be in a calmer than the one at the start of the carpet.

“Y/N it’s amazing to have you here tonight on the premier. Feeling right now?” She asks and a grin comes into your face.

“Amazing, honestly to have my personal story but out in such a raw and public way is such a helpful step for people who maybe or may have suffered the way I have an gives a message of hope to anyone who has ever felt the way I did that the road doesn’t end there!” You nod loving that you will be helping millions of people who have shared the same experience as you.

“So before we go in, tell us a little about the film!” She probes.

“Well, it’s starts on the note of me growing up pretty tough and with no outlook for my future, being tossed from foster to foster home, the hard times and abuse I went through there before I come across Patrick DuPont, who we know very well as my trainer and the main reason I ended up where I am today. It moves through my teens and realising I’m talented and some things and how I was naive enough to not see the manipulation and abuse I was put through as a result of that and how I was used by many. It guides you through my most important relationships with people both the most gnarly and the most pure. It’s a really moving and emotional movie that I know will being lots of people including myself to tears” you explain the rough synopsis to her, making her nod and check her pad in-front of her that an assistant was holding out for her.

“And obviously adding onto those relationships, who will we be seeing a lot of?” She asks and you nod.

“Obviously towards the start in my early childhood, you’ll see a lot of my foster parents and my childhood best friend Emilie Bustlen, as I grow up you meet Patrick and my main foster family. For legal reasons we had to change names around because of this so they are know as the Laurent’s before we meet Hunter Goshill, my ex partner and some of my competitors. Before we finally find a safe haven, in this man right here beside me” you smile pulling Lewis forward and closer to you, he looks a little shocked that he’s now in the full shot of the camera rather than off the the side and has a mic code to him.

“You guys met when Y/N was 19 and you must have been what 25, 26? How did that work in 2011?” She asks knowing that’s when you met.

“Obviously I met Y/N at a race, she was there alone walking through the paddock and I just fell in love with her. Once I worked out who she was having an Olympic gold medal I was introduced to her by my then team principle Martin Whitmarsh and I proceeded to win that race. Was Germany! Obviously the year after she was travelling to London for the Olympics and as my home country of course I came with her as it tied in nicely to my summer break. After that she was the one that convinced me to make the move to Mercedes and apart from proposing to Y/N that’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done” he admits.

“Woah, what a lovers story obviously prior to that, Y/N you were in a if you don’t mind me saying quite a pressured and dare I say toxic relationship with ex partner Hunter?” She asks and you nod looking down for a second before feeling a squeeze on your hand in reassurance.

“I mean it shows it better in the film that I can get into words, but I was very young and naive. I looked for anything that would give me the slightest bit of affection which I would often just confuse with attention. And of course that came from someone who was older than me, and knew how to take advantage of me, without it ever feeling like he had I’ll intentions because I was so desperate to feel. Lewis has thought me many things but being loved the right way is the best thing” you smile looking to your soon to be husband with pure love, no other intentions just two souls mingled together as they should be.

“Really a beautiful couple and a beautiful story, just is heartwarming finding out what you’ve been through and how Lewis has helped break those walls you spent years building. I’m so excited to see this movie, and everyone at home watching this is your sign to get to your local cinema and buy a ticket for In your Dreams: The Story of Y/N Y/L/N ” she smiles.

You nod beofre saying a polite goodbye and heading off.

You answer some more questions, some about the movie some about your goals for 2024 in Paris if you’ll get your 5th gold medal for Team France, some were as trivial as what and who you were wearing.

“God, I just want to go home to Roscoe now” you sigh as you enter the theatre, going to get some treats for you and Lewis while the movie is on.

“I know baby, just a little longer. Then we can get started on our wedding planning hmmm?” He asks looking over you and making you smile and pull him into a passionate kiss, teeth clashing and you pulling him in by the nape of his neck.

You walk past some critics giving them smiles and some small talk before they let you on your way.

You eventually sat with Lewis at the front row will all the cast and directors next to your guys as the film came up on the screen.

It was everything you’d envisioned. Tear jerking, heartwarming and moving. Lewis was brought to tears and many others in the theatre who didn’t know the full extent of your story were coming up to you after the film talking to you about your life and how your success had a whole new meaning to them now.

y/user

Liked by lewishamilton, nicorosberg and antonia.desplat

y/user: I’ve loved you since I was 19, now that I’m 32 and engaged to you, I wouldn’t want my life any other way. I love you Lew ♥️.

Thank you so much for paramountpictures making my story come to life in the new movie In your Dreams: The Story of Y/N Y/L/N

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paramountpictures: truly amazing to bring your story of strength, resilience and success to life.

-> y/user: thank you for putting your heart and souls into this project it really is magical 💥 Also thank you too, all of the actors and actresses in the movie antonia.desplat who did a fantastic job!

-> antonia.desplat: thank you for giving me this opportunity. This movie has been my big break as a struggling French actress! Merci Du Fond Du Coeur 🇫🇷♥️🥐

lewishamilton: I love you with all of my heart. I’m so proud of everything you’ve achieved this far and am proud to say I’ll be in your life for the remainder of your future successes and achievements. Je vous aime! 🐻❤️

-> y/user: Sir Lewis Hamilton - the man you are 🫶🏼

nicorosberg: that picture is so old, I took this years and years ago!

-> y/user: Nico Rosberg the OG Y/N-Hamilton shipper 🫶🏼

Instagram Story Caption:

Back on the grind 😮‍💨

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @kapsylia @laneyspaulding19 @lazybot @malynn @cassielikereading @viennakarma @teamnovalak @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @jlb20416 @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @formula1mount @tinydeskwriter @butterfly-lover @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount @styl1shl1v

[miscfandomwrites]

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Scientist! Reader Fluff

Warnings: None

Words: 876

Requested by:

Tagging: @tyler-t0t

~~

“When are you coming home?” my girlfriend’s worried tone makes me wince as I change into my secondary clothes.

“I’m almost done with this, Nat. I’m so close to being done and then-”

She cut you off: “It doesn’t matter, (Y/N), you’ve been working on this for the past two days straight. I haven’t seen you since tuesday. I miss you.”  

I sighed as I finished buttoning my pants up. “I don’t know Nat. I don’t want to go home unless I’ve made a breakthrough. I’m so close.” I told her as I picked up the phone, shoving my other clothes into my duffle bag.

“Fine, I’ll come to you.” She replied with a huff, and then hung up. 

She’ll come to me?

~~

“Hi, I’m here to pick up my exhausted and almost burnt out girlfriend, (F/N), (L/N)?” Natasha said to the clerk.

“Thirteenth floor, beware though, I’ve heard she’s on her third pot of coffee and hasn’t slept in two days.” The man replied, waving her through to the elevators. Natasha nodded at the man and headed up to your floor.

~~

“Shit, not another failure…” I muttered as I peered into the microscope, awaiting for the reaction between the cells. Faint lofi music was playing from one of the computers, amidst the sound of another pot of coffee brewing.

“(Y/N)?” Natasha’s voice had me jerking my head away from the scope, nearly making me hit my head on the shelf above me.

I cleared my throat and winced. “Hey, Nat..” I spoke softly. She looked around at the mess of papers, empty coffee cups, mostly papers, the occasional energy drink, and the few notebooks I had around and open.

“C’mon, Любить, let’s go home. When’s the last time you’ve eaten?’ She asked as she started gathering my scattered belongings.

I scratched the back of my head as I took off my lab coat. “I honestly don’t remember.” I told her.

She paused and looked at me. “The last time I remember seeing you eat was when we had dinner on tuesday. What sounds good to you?” She questioned with a worried tone.

“I was thinking-”

“No takeout. Something we can make at home that’s semi-healthy." She cut me off.

I chucked, then started taking down my hair. Wow, when was the last time I washed my hair? 

“Chicken sounds good.” I replied, finger-combing through my hair.

She nodded and shouldered my bag, before holding her hand out for me. I took it, and we headed towards the elevators.

“FIREROX, System save and shutdown.” I called over my shoulders, letting the A.I. take the rest of the task off my shoulders.

“Do you want me to text Natasha that you are on your way home, miss?” it asked me.

I smiled at the redhead holding me hand.

“There’s no need. Thank you and good night.” I told it as the elevator doors closed. 

Once inside, she pulled me into a hug. “Yeah, yeah, I know you smell. I don’t care. I missed you.” She whispered as she held me close.

“I could tell, love.” I replied, hugging her closer to me and breathing in her scent.

Once out of the building, I took a second to breath in the fresh air and roll my shoulders. 

“C’mon, nerd. Let���s go home.” 

~~

Finally back at our house, Nat’s first instructions were to take a shower then do whatever else. Well, she was going to cook and then we’d eat after that, then whatever else.

However, once I got under the warm water I started to realize how exhausted I really was. We’re not made to run on constant caffeine and no sleep for a few days. I did my best to quickly scrub down and get out, drying off as quickly as the cloud of exhaustion would let me. Wrapped in a towel, I headed into our room and pulled on some underwear and a pair of my shorts, and then one of Nat’s hoodies. Drying my hair and dropping the clothes into the room’s laundry basket, I headed out to the kitchen.

“Hey, Любить.” Nat said as I padded into the kitchen. I hummed and sat at one of the barstools, making grabby hands at her. She laughed and tossed the kitchen towel on her shoulder before coming around and holding me. She kissed my cheek before fully holding me, arms wrapped around my torso and her face pressed into my neck. Her hair was tied into a ponytail and wearing one of my black t-shirts and a pair of jeans, she was beautiful. 

After a few minutes she wiggled out of my grip to go finish dinner. Once that was done, and we finished eating, she dragged me over to the couch and yanked me on top of her. 

[heaven-s-black-box]

Notes- Study Time; Anemo boys x gn!reader

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Recovery date: October 6th, 2024

Description: helloooo im back :D im also in the middle of exam season sooo high school au with the anemo boys helping reader to prepare for exams? im starving for some kazuha fluff ( ´ ▽ ` ) tyyyy

-⭐️ anon

Notes: This work was recovered in conjunction with researcher ⭐️, we thank them for their contributions. I've always been really bad at studying, lol, kind of projected on to Aether here.

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Aether

I believe this man does not need to study

Like, as long as he pays attention in class he can get by with a quick once over before the exam

But when he needs to study, geography and math, he finds it easiest to explain to someone else

So it’s a win win

He gets to study and you get to have the things you’re struggling with explained

Will forget to take breaks, so make sure to drag him away to get food at some point

If you also forget to take breaks, good luck

Venti

A strong believer in the importance of breaks

Unfortunately that means you need a really strong will to study with him

He’s really useful if you like to memorize things through song

Great at turning even the most boring knowledged into a catchy song

Somehow he manages to study by making everything into a game

Need to practice definitions? You’re playing match the q-cards

Trying to solve equations? Each answer gives you a letter for a fill in the blank

Xiao

Prefers to study alone

So you two study best side by side reading over and rewriting your notes

Sometimes you swap notes to see if the other is missing something

Doesn’t mind listening to music either

Actually likes hearing whatever you listen to while you study, as long as it doesn’t have lyrics

He doesn’t realize it but he whistles while he studies, it helps him memorize

It’s similar to Venti memorizes through song

Wanderer

He’s going to call you stupid

And he doesn’t really mean it, it’s just how he is

Is actually really good at breaking things down you don’t understand

Like, seriously, he reads the text book page once and knows exactly what you’re having trouble with

And when he doesn’t, you look it up together

Really good with remembering historical dates and names

Don’t ask for his help with bio though, he once forgot that the renal system deals with waste

Heizou

Surprisingly invested in studying

Like, he seems like a jokester but if you decide it's time to study he’s showing up with snacks and drinks and holding down a nice quiet spot in the library

But he’s still a bit of a jokester, so he makes sure you take break

Like Aether he doesn’t really need to study, so he kind of just does whatever you need him to

Actually enjoys quizzing you with flashcards

If you struggle with literary analysis he’s the guy to talk to, he catches all the little details

Kazuha

You will be studying outside

Unless it’s raining, in which case he just finds a seat near a window and props the window enough to let in air

Also understands the importance of breaks, he’ll make you take a walk with him

If you struggle with a secondary language, he’s always happy to help quiz you on verbs and stuff

Encourages you to write poems with him to practice

Studies best through discussing, so you two will write up some questions to ask each other