#second of all he's a traumatised blorbo

[ahdriking]

Mansuang (2023) Apo Nattawin as Khem

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Where’s that post I made about Mike being the companion that broke under the horrors bc I’m still right. When I think abt the THINGS some companions have had to endure and have still seemingly been fine, and then I think of mike losing himself and his values to a festering psychological wound that left him open to radicalisation, it’s like he is the evidence that actually everything isn’t fine.

Which is why it’s so important that he should be next seen in meditation, in the seeking of peace, in quietness and healing because not only is he a character that needs it he’s also a character that knows he needs it and seeks it out for himself, because he doesn’t recognise who he is anymore and he wants, not to redeem himself in the eyes of others (he won’t even go near UNIT, not even when he needs their help, he goes through Sarah Jane instead!), but to become a better person, to stop being a threat, and to heal for his own soul’s sake.

And so he goes from someone who was willing to see the entirety of human history erased, to someone who will risk his life for one person and the fact that that ultimately saves his life always imo comes across as a bit easy if you watch planet of the spiders without this context in mind. But when you do think about where Mike has been, psychologically, from the green death through to planet of the spiders, it doesn’t seem easy at all but actually a significant if understated character moment.

[web-novel-polls]

MXTX Side Characters Tournament

[Image ID - two images. The first is a cropped image of Shang Qinghua from the cover of the English Scum Villain novel. He has brown hair tied up in a loose bun. He is wearing a light blue-gray ribbon in his hair the same color as his robes as he glances over his shoulder at the viewer.

The second image is a drawn image of Jiang Cheng from MDZS looking at the viewer with apparent disgust or contempt. He has long dark hair tied up by a silver hairpiece with bangs framing his face. His eyes are a pale blue. /End ID]

Shang Qinghua / Airplane from SVSSS

Submission: He's a sidekick and he's so sidelined that despite creating the universe he's treated as an afterthought - doubly a side character! But also? So relateable. He would absolutely have been on tumblr in his first life, he gets so excited about his blorbo who treats him terribly (until they finally get a happy ending in the extras - also! he has to wait for the extras to get his happy ending! very side-character of him). He holds the fascinating position of being mostly irrelevant to the story and yet without him the themes would totally fail. He deserves a win on something for once, okay?

Jiang Cheng from MDZS

Submission 1: Extremely traumatized yet also somehow the most normal and functional by the end. Huge bitch but I (and at least one of the other characters) think he deserves to be even worse after everything he's been through

Submission 2: Simultaneously badass and the most cringefail man. Extremely funny and stylish but still manages to be very uncool. Cries a lot. Also he's lost a lot of tumblr polls—let's give him another shot! We definitely love him more than his dad did!

Submission 3: He's got mommy issues AND daddy issues. He loves his sister and his shige so much. He's traumatised and incredibly competent. He rebuilt his whole sect! He's an asshole (affectionate). He's purple! He's got the coolest weapon ever conceived. I'm so worried about his blood pressure basically all the time.

["Anti-Propaganda" that attacks other characters is NOT allowed. Please only give reasons to vote FOR a character.]

[stars-and-magic-swords]

Jwcc for the fandom ask thing!

Thank you for the ask Shadow! Camp Cretaceous deserves all the love and attention, fingers crossed that we see the gang in chaos theory (darius and ben already confirmed let's goooo!!!!)

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): damn this is tough. It's really, extremely close between yaz and darius, but I'll have to go with yaz (why are 90% of all my favourite characters emotionally repressed?) But yeah she's super cool and strong and her character and development are super interesting and together with sammy they're just cuteness incarnate

scrunkly (my "baby", character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): darius my baby dino nerd i will never let anyone hurt you (i want to turn him into a plushie and squeeze the life out of him). Also poor dude was going thru this shit at age twelve wtf get him some therapy

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/ underappreciated fave): I really don't see very much love for sammy, sure it's not like people dislike her or anything, but i feel like her character often gets glossed over (is that even an expression that exists?)

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won't shut up about it for a week): dave and roxie (it's two but who cares) honestly I have so much respect for them, they did their very best regarding the circumstances and i will not let anyone say anything negative about them

poor little meow meow ("problematic"/ unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): hmmmm kenji?? He has some pretty good wet cat vibes in the latest seasons. yes I know there's also early ben but I don't know, maybe because I watched them a long time ago??? I know the fandom adores ben and I love him too but I can't really relate

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): it seems like a habit of mine, to always torment my favourite characters the most. yeah it's between darius and yaz again, what can you do. there's just so many good and creative ways to hurt them, and they're already traumatised so they basically do half the setup on their own

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): wait are we saying send them to hell "affectionately" or literally? Anyway I'm gonna go literally because I cannot decide and I'll of course go with kenji's dad. like, what the fuck is wrong with this man

Just realised I didn't mention brooklyn at all, sorry girl please I love you too 😭😭

[died-but-not-dead-propaganda]

Kim Dokja Propaganda

he canonically dies seven times <3 he's tried and avoided dying even more than that. multiple characters in text have asked him to stop dying.

He literally plans his own death out and then gets surprised when it happens and people react to him dying he's so stupid I love him

he does it 12 times i'm not joking

i lost count but he's died and come back at least 4 times. mf won't stay dead (affectionate) but he's also so damn smug everytime like he didn't just give all his friends lasting trauma for the 3rd time that week

He is like, the perfect person for this tournament. He dies, and dies, and dies like every 5 seconds. And the majority of them are emotional. I think. Like, we know he's not actually dead but his friends don't (in most of them).

So here's some of my hightlights (Contains spoilers):

-His first death was by being incinerated by a dragon's breath (not really interesting, but it's his first death).

-There was an scenario(missions? kinda?) where they had to kill the strongest in the dome and nobody knew who it was so there were two really strong guys having a duel and while everyone else was busy watching it he killed himself behind a building and just waited for everyone to notice (he was the strongest in there).

    +People called him ugly at his funeral

-Idk if it counts as a death but he sacrificed himself and got expelled from the system and I don't remember if his body was destroyed but I think yes. So this would normally mean you will die for real so everyone thought he was dead but he kept his soul alive by talking to himself and eating garbage and went to a doctor and leaded a coup d'etat and gave birth(? kinda?) all while pretending to be someone else.

-He was asleep while using a skill to watch his friends have a serious discussion about his kinks and dies.

this man. keeps. dying. everytime he dies it traumatises his kids and friends and then he does it again! eventually they just straight up locked him up in gay baby jail in an attempt to get him to stop dying. it didnt work. hes a disaster and i love him

That man CANNOT stop dying istg (via sacrificing his life) i don't even know how many times he's died,,, (it's the suicidal tendencies and the feeling he doesn't deserve a happy ending lbr)

(warning for spoilers in the next paragraph)

he has 1)died by throwing himself at a giant dragon 2)died by throwing himself in front of his blorbo/reason for living (who has threatened to kill him multiple times) at the hand of the woman who later on become his daughter    (he came back from those 2 in a few minutes with a power that allowed him to resurrect if he saves 100 people) (he then lost this power and gained another that allowed him 7 resurrections but with a longer delay)

3)died by asking his internet bully/best friend to kill him to save the city  4)there was a prophecy he was going to be killed by the person he loves most. his mum killed him knowing about his resurrection power and hoping it would complete the prophecy. it did not. (fun fact he was passed out when that happened and his previously mentioned best friend was defending him, and she allowed the shot to hit his heart to avoid it hitting his crotch #priorities)  5)sacrificed himself by turning into the villain and making all his friends kill him to stop his blorbo from doing the same. fun fact he was the one to deliver the final blow and it did satisfy the prophecy. also for reasons his resurrection power didn't work here (he still found a way to come back though! but it was much more difficult and complicated

also, it's irrelevant to all this but he literally gets adopted by hades and persephone at some point and becomes the heir to the underworld

anyway this is very long and does not include all his deaths i don't think but you get the idea! orv is very good i promise don't get fooled by my shitty description lmao

This ridiculous man has an addiction to dying istg. He makes a point of obtaining every ability he can that allows him to return from death and chooses to throw himself in harms way constantly. His companions has to sedate him just to get him to take a break because he just will not stop dying on them. Hes a hamster of a man. Hes also just so pathetically average and abnormal at the same time and its great. Throughout the whole story, people try to convince him to stop sacrificing himself for them, but he just keeps doing it because he doesnt really know how else to show how much he cares because he is incredibly emotionally stunted (its the trauma!). Orv is legitimately such a good webnovel, it changed my brain chemistry permanently. Its a really great read because it contains a little bit of everything, so you get to enjoy a bunch of different genres. Its also pretty fast paced but not rushed, so the plot is always moving forward but not feeling forced. There arent really any plotholes either, because it accomplishes what it set out to do as a story. Only issue some people have getting into it is that the first chunk of chapters are kinda slow, but it really starts to pick up after the disasters and keeps getting better from there. Also that it has 551 chapters, but these chapters are all necessary, trust me. The ending is so good. Just try to avoid spoilers some if you do check it out; they dont necessarily ruin the experience but some major plot moments are revealed. Also, I really reccommend reading the actual webnovel instead of the manhwa(which is the webtoon) because the manhwa edits a lot of things out and is much plainer than the actual story. Anyway, sorry that this turned into me telling you to read the novel instead of campaigning for kdj. But! Its what he would have wanted, seeing as he once read a webnovel as the sole reader of it for over 10 years.

Okay so. This man has died over 10 times (I'm not counting the exact number I'm sorry). He got burned to death fighting a super dangerous dragon, he died IN FRONT OF HIS FOUND FAMILY. then he pushed another member of his found family away from a fatal attack and took it on himself, causing him to get a huge hole right through his stomach and said member of his found family to go beserk over his death cause he didn't know he'd come back to life. He then asked a different member of his found family to KILL HIM. because he needed to die for everyone else to survive or whatever so he convinced her to kill him even though she didn't want to. And then HE GOT KILLED BY HIS FOUND FAMILY AGAIN. because once again he had to 'die' for everyone to survive but specifically he had to be killed by his found family, so he got stabbed through the heart by one of his found family members and then crumbled to dust in said family member's arms. He 'died' and disappeared for 3+ YEARS , and came back just as his ff were finally moving on from him. (Also he came back in a giant squid form that couldn't communicate with the FF at all and almost got killed my the ff AGAIN...) there's... A lot. More but it's been a while since I've read the novel so I don't remember every single death unfortunately but yeah 👍

He died like 12 times and traumatized all his companions with that

Over the course of 100 chapters, this man managed to die and get revived FIVE GODDAMN TIMES. And he keeps doing it. Nobody's doing it like him fr fr

i’m still read orv but as far as i’ve heard that’s his whole thing other than being gay for the protagonist of his favourite web comic who is real now

hoooo boy. i think he dies around 8 times in total? and somehow each time is worse than the last..... the first 3-4 times he has a skill that lets him regenerate, so its mostly fine (there is some good angst about his companions worrying he died for real, though, and at least one funeral scene).

then theres a prophecy about how he will be killed by "the person he loves most" and, without spoiling it too much, hes killed by the person he loves most. sword through the heart and touching last words and everything. its fucking DEVASTATING. he survives with a bunch of cheat code bullshit and then next time they see him is weeks or months later in the fucking demon realm with a body thats falling apart.

then a while later he almost dies AGAIN but when they go to save him he gets kidnapped and sent to another world and they dont see him for FOUR YEARS. hes obviously presumed dead while hes off in another worldline trying to get back

uh. there might be more than that. this novel is VERY long. anyway it gets to a point where any problem thats too big gets solved by him sacrificing himself while his companions scream and cry and beg him not to. and then he shows up later like "see! i survived :)" and they get so upset because why does he keep DOING this??? and he doesnt see the issue because he did it to save them! its a happy ending as long as no one dies (but not me though. its fine if i die as long as no one else does)

anyway, all this to say. basically his defining trait is that he dies and comes back. hes infamous for it and his companions start to hate it about him. one of them literally tries to pay a HEAVY price to ensure that he cant die anymore. hes GOTTA be on this bracket

Self-sacrifice is the only way he knows how to express love because it's the only form of love he was shown as a child. He keeps dying for his companions even while knowing that he is traumatizing them and thinking that they will hate him for it eventually (just like he hated his mom) because he thinks he deserves to be hated. The entire novel is about saving him. My god.

This man has died (and revived) about thirteen different times (I think? Very easy to lose count), and that’s only including successful attempts, he tries to sacrifice himself many more times. His companions are literally begging him to stop killing himself to save the world. They come very close to just tying him up so he can’t go running off again.

In terms of his general character he is just a guy who hyperfixates on a bad webnovel for 13 years straight, I’m talking about 3000+ chapters that he was the sole reader of because no one else made it past ch100. Then when the webnovel gets its final update the events of the novel start happening in the real world, as the only person who has read to the end he has vital information to save the world. He pisses off the protagonist within a minute of meeting and then proceeds to have a high-key homoerotic relationship with him, with both of them becoming so intertwined that neither would exist without the other and creating a timeloop that sets the entire plot into motion (I can’t go into more details without spoilers). If you’d like more details then I highly recommend the YouTube video “badly explaining all of omniscient reader in 6 minutes” by ferd because it’s hilarious and leaves out just enough context that you don’t even feel like you’re getting spoiled because it’s so batshit

[avatarofwar]

i saw you talk about wolf a few times from sekiro and was wondering if you'd want to share more of your thoughts on him or sekiro as a whole, the game really interests me compared to other dark souls games so i wanted to ask

sorry for the late reply but oh boy do I have thoughts abt wolf. trying not to spoil the game, so I'm gonna refrain from talking about the story. might go into just restating known things about the game, but I'd much rather play it safe and not spoil the story

before going to that. the game is very much different from dark souls (setting wise, while taking place in a fictional country it is in a historical setting. I cannot comment on the setting properly bc I don't know much about the time period, however), most notably in the combat (primarily shifting from a dodge-centric playstyle to a parry-centric playstyle (significantly easier than dark souls/elden ring parrying, however), with dodges having significantly shorter i-frames and being very unreliable for dodging attacks). it's very different but something I really enjoy, even if I'm not as good as I am at typical soulsborne combat. it's really fun when you get the hang of it, and while I might not be The Best at it (which is mostly bc of how different it is from soulsborne games, so ofc I'm not as good at is as I am at the other fromsoft games I've played), it's something I can still enjoy

a huge thing about sekiro is the difference in how the story is told. in soulsborne games the story is something you have to figure out; progressing through the main path doesn't give you enough to piece everything together if you don't read any lore. with sekiro, however, the story is significantly more obvious, on account of the playable character having unique ties to the world and its characters, rather than going the soulsborne route of being one of many people (wording hard, but the chosen undead for example is no one special, just one of many undead trying to link the flame). it's a very different method of storytelling, but is still something really good. for as much as I adore having to actively hunt down lore and story in soulsborne games, it's also great experiencing story through natural game progression

wolf is also canonically disabled (loses his left arm at the start of the game) and has a really fucking cool prosthetic that is a whole part of the combat system (even though I personally keep forgetting to use it). so good for him. he deserves a prosthetic that can have deadly weaponry attached to it. like a mini-flamethrower. he deserves a mini-flamethrower, as a treat.

putting the wolf thoughts beneath a read more because this is getting long and I might spoil some stuff (mostly relationship with another character, I'll try to refrain from story spoilers. also spoilers in general, but there might be some), and he has definitely become a blorbo (additionally, content warning for abuse)

first of all. wolf makes me want to throw myself off a cliff and I mean this in the most positive way ever. he is great and I love him but man he needs so much fucking therapy and he doesn't even realise it (therapy probably doesn't exist in that time period, but besides the point). he is very much traumatised and has been heavily shaped by it and doesn't even know it.

prior to the events of the game (I forgot how long ago it was) he was orphaned by war and got taken in by owl, a shinobi and also a piece of fucking garbage. owl raises wolf to be a shinobi under the iron code, with the number one rule being loyalty to his father (owl), with his master (kuro, the divine heir) a close second (and also to give his life for his master if necessary. which is also a whole other thing to get into).

owl is very explicitly abusive. he raises wolf as a tool rather than a person, and that upbringing severely affects wolf as a character - he is an incredibly capable shinobi, but lacks any skills other than that; he does not know how to be a proper person, he is a loyal wolf, but he does not know how to be anything other than that. hell, without spoiling too much about the context, there is a cutscene in which owl actively attempts to guilt trip wolf, going as far as using fake tears (saying anything specific is very spoilery. this isn't even the only horrid thing he's done, but I'm trying to refrain from too many spoilers).

wolf canonically does not value himself without anyone to serve (we see this at the beginning of the game, as events prior to the start of the game not yet known about leads him to believe he has no one to serve, and thus no purpose, so he isolates himself from the world in a well for 3 years). while he does have compassion for others (most notable example being concern over victims of dragonrot), he starts off the game driven primarily by duty. he is loyal to a fault, willing to do anything for kuro, but also valuing his service to kuro more than himself (cannot remember the exact wording, but when kuro expresses concern for how many times wolf has died for him, wolf states that it does not matter as it was in service to him).

there's also the fact that wolf canonically eats uncooked rice and genuinely doesn't know - as a fully grown adult - you are supposed to cook it, which is... genuinely something awful if you truly think about it and what more it implies about his upbringing especially considering it's one of the most basic things you could learn how to make (just... says a lot about owl if you seriously think about it).

he is a loyal wolf, but he doesn't know how to be more than that. he doesn't know how to just... exist for himself, to be his own person separate of his duty and he doesn't even recognise just how fucked up it is, because how could he, when he was shaped into this as a child, when his own father wanted him to be nothing more than a tool to use.

I could say a lot more about his relationships with other characters (that are actually good people) and how it just. makes me lose my mind, but this post is almost 1k words. so, simply put, kuro genuinely caring about him makes me so fucking emotional, especially bc of owl; his father might be horrible and an abuser, he might not know how to be more than he was raised, but at the very least he can serve someone who actively cares about him and his wellbeing.

[cuteniarose]

To undo the headache, fine, fine, I'm cheating, you get two asks! MoM!

Now you’re talking!! Except.. hm, how about we make it more fun? New rule: I am only allowed to put in each character once, because otherwise… we’d just get stuck in an endless repeat of Suiren and Summiya, wouldn’t we?

*pulls up OC list because I just woke up and brain isn’t braining rn*

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) – Do I even have to say it? Suiren. Of course it’s Suiren. Who else would it be? Who else could POSSIBLY measure up to how much this feral wet cat of a traumatised lesbian means to me?? Nobody, absolutely nobody, nobody can compare , it’s not even a competition at this point. She genuinely has lived in my head rent free for almost 6 years now, thinking about her has got me through some hard shit, I draw her so much I could do it with my eyes closed… truly, she is the most important girl in the world and I love her beyond words <3

scrunkly (my "baby", character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) – Another obvious answer, but Ehuang. Come onl I literally call her Sweet Baby Ehuang, who else could I have picked? Specifically in that piece where she’s wrapped in The Blanket held by her mama. She’s the sweetest, most adorable little baby to have ever existed and I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since we created her. But also, honourable mention goes to Midori and Emran (yes, specifically him, not Aiza. Or at least not Lady Aiza, perhaps Acolyte Aiza triggers the same feelings, I’ll have to see if I ever draw her), because little Midori is as adorable as her daughter and Emran is who makes me think “scrunkly” whenever I look at him, he’s the So Shaped one <3 And.. my original Malina art remains my utmost favourite way I’ve ever drawn a face, there’s more character packed in there than in most of my other pieces combined, so perhaps she counts here too? Oh! Oh!! And Kumisai!!! I still love the way I drew her, very cute, very scrunkly 💚💚

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) – The Brothel Gang!! All of them at once, yes. They deserve so much more attention and love (and material for me to get off to 🤭) and like.. the only downside to having so many OCs is that there simply isn’t enough time to pay due attention to them all 😔 And just so we’re clear, Mekhali is very much included in this, because somehow, even though they’re the one who started this OC branch, they’ve become even less relevant than the girls :’) More brothel shenanigans content with the six of them and Mekhali and baby Kumisai and adorably awkward Summiya when???

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won't shut up about it for a week) – LIU AND NUYING AND AFARIN. THE DEAD MOM CLUB. YES YES I GET IT SUNAT IS UNIQUELY FASCINATING AND MAKES US CHEW ON DRYWALL BUT WHERE’S THE LOVE FOR THE REST OF THEM?? JUST BECAUSE THEY CANNOT PROVIDE EMOTIONAL REUNION SHENANIGANS DOESN’T MAKE THEM ANY LESS IMPORTANT, YOU HEAR ME??? (but also, honourable mentions of course go to their respective husbands, Bingwen and Cadeo and Siamak, since I’m weak for good fathers in media, it’s spiritually healing. And Cadeo WILL provide emotional reunion shenanigans at some point even if it kills me!! [And.. Ming-Hua was only 55 when Ehuang was born. Who’s to say that Cadeo can’t be around to meet his great granddaughter, the one named after the same legend as his late wife?? I’m making myself emotional thinking about this, fuck 😭]. As for the really, REALLY obscure honourable mentions, Shezan’s siblings. I’m extremely curious about them and what their lives ended up as.)

poor little meow meow ("problematic"/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) – HAYAAAAA. I know I’m the one who created her and made her as awful as she is, but… once upon a time she was just a fourteen year old girl who loved her Ma very much and had her entire world ripped away from her in a matter of weeks, with no one left to help her raise her little brother or to work so she can keep going to school and meeting with her friends or to simply comfort her as she deals with the biggest loss a child can experience 😭😭😭 Her past and what shaped her and how she became what she is and the way her future plays out makes me genuinely, genuinely insane, and I need to get back to my fic about her one of these days. But given that she is, in fact, a terrible person who, at least in the main verse, abused her nieces for sixteen years.. she is very much “problematic” and controversial 😅

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) – Jia ☠️ She gave me whumperflies once and I was never normal about her again, thanks Kat. She didn’t have to suffer the way she did, but my love for causing characters pain took over and I’m very, very obsessed with her fate and the aftermath and the eventual reunion with Aiza. I even drew her with flogging scars once, I am truly beyond saving when it comes to her. But also Summiya, because somehow my verdict of “a good dicking would fix her” turned into the most visceral and insanity inducing exploration of a character’s breakdown and fall from grace than I have ever seen before or since, and I LOVE shattering that porcelain doll and watching her struggle to put the pieces back together, knowing she will never again be able to hide the cracks >:)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) – Jusamah and Himman. No other commentary necessary, I believe (but fun fact: when I answered this for MC some years ago I put Suleiman and Ibrahim in this same category, and given that they’re essentially the same characters as the previously mentioned ones in a different font… the years pass, the fandom changes, and yet Nia’s hatred of assholes ruining the lives of every woman they know stays the same 😂). Oh, and Daigo. He can rot 😊

[the-whispers-of-death]

i have a lot of ocs lol because i made up an entire merc group just because

but my most fleshed out ocs are:

Romanas Dobrovolnekas - calm dude with a sadistic streak, lowkey the "dad" of an entire subdivision in the merc group, cqc specialist and torturer extraordinaire, likes making things with his hands

Hazzard - big bitch, biochemical weapons engineer, a hater (like seriously man likes only two people in existance), quiet guy who loves animals, plants and two people

Void - mute guy who just spawned in the merc group one day. nobody knows anything about him. the youngest in the group, sneaky and slippery, very flexible, short and not as muscular or burly as the other two but his strong suit is sneaking and assassinations so he's good at what he does. questionably human

their backstories are a whole nother thing lol

i have a few i haven't fleshed out as much and those are:

Johan von Engelmann - head medic. doctor/neurosurgeon with a revoked medical license and questionable morals/ethics, calm but very threatening/unsettling, glasses, always smiling, 7'3 in height and built like a spider. the most feared person in the group after the commander

Diana - apprentice studying under Johan. nice girl with some questionable morals (Johan is slowly pulling her to the dark side) dark, curly hair and very vivid blue eyes, quiet and shy a bit of a pushover but very competent in what she does

Vaccine and Dartboard - twins from the sub division i mentioned before, oppurtunistic cannibals, unhinged and silly goofy, very fast

Vendetta - sniper, haven't decided on their gender yet, red hair/scarf, you'll never know where they are but you'll know they're there, doesn't listen well but gets their job done

Selga - attack dog, sharp teeth, severly traumatised but the commander of the group won't get rid of him or get him the proper help. only listens to Romanas, situational cannibal, very strong and fast and extremely viscious

Boss - the man who takes over the group once the current commander is no longer around. actually a good man who treats his soldiers well, the reason my ocs get soft endings, dilf, the group would kill for him, doesn't really assert his "authority" that much, he's more of a figurehead/for formalities sake, great soldier and he does all the coordinating so he does the job of "leader" despite not really pressing the soldiers to obey, they do because they like him, tamed an entire merc group filled with unhinged, traumatised people and accidentally became their dad whoops

lmao this is probably kind of trash because i suck at describing and didn't want to get in too deep into my dumbass ocs lol

im sorry im actually having fun telling someone about my nonsense made up blorbos

Sorry, first I just want to say Feral!Stone would absolutely love the OCs who are situational/opportunistic cannibals. Because he is a cannibal.

Second of all, don't apologize!

I love Boss but that's my daddy issues coming into play.

Hazzard only liking two people is such a mood and it's on par for him loving animals. Animals are better company than humans.

Johan still being the head medic despite no longer having his medical license is funny to me. Love that he's morally gray.

Selga being an attack dog and only listens to Romanas is relatable. (I really do love OCs who are absolutely feral.)

Vaccine and Dartboard being unhinged and very goofy twins? I love that for them.

Vendetta sounds like a badass regardless of their gender identity. They sound like they pop out of nowhere (like Sarabi does).

Diana sounds like she's so pretty.

Void being questionably human and having just spawned into the group is just chef's kiss. Love that he's mute.

Romanas, sometimes sadistic men are needed.

Anyways, I love them all.

[dominijoyce]

brubo bingo

Since this is on Anon, I'm not sure if you're on Bizarre Retirement, but if you are then you probably already know of the story with Bruno I'm cooking which. I should be put in Fandom Jail for Blorbo Abuse Crimes for. It is just Hurt Comfort story of self exploration and dealing with trauma but with way too much Hurt for one's own good since most of it is self indulgance and exploration of things through pain and consequences.

I am not gonna ramble about it here, I am currently writing first chapter of it but that story is kind of proof that I project onto him too much and give him all of my issues as well as just keeping on traumatising him and putting him through way too much.

Bruno means too much for me, he is definitely something akin to a comfort character but so is near everyone in Bucci Gang. Mostly because I relate to so many aspects of him, his personality, his backstory, his disposition just him as a person. Which is kind of why I hate how fandom keeps on trying to make him so heavily one-dimensional or put him into one box and refuse to expand their view beyond that.

I also don't like people reducing him into a "weirdo". Mostly because things they call him a weirdo for aren't that weird in the context and because as someone who suffers of Catatonia he is just relatable and I really do not find it comfortable people ridiculising something that isn't really that bad. He may do or say "out of ordinary" things sometimes but disregarding his entire character and just putting the "clown" up to 11 because you saw few small scenes that you considered inappropriate [for some reason] is quite literally just removing all the nuance and being boring.

And then the second extreme of removing the weirdness and quirkness and making Bruno into some kind of charming guy with a poker face who is in control of everything, some kind of perfect man who can do no wrong and is just perfect. That is also boring and is also removing all of the nuance he has.

I think fandom doesn't understand Bruno because they are not able to shift their perspective on how Bruno is viewing his life and how he decides to do of it. They just assume one of the extreme because it is easier to put him in a box than to consider.

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

sense8 for the blorbo ask game? <3

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) 

D A N I  thirsty asf adhd aroace finding a place where she is comfortable and has healthy boundaries and is loved for who she is, somehow the most me character ever <333

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Sun 🥺🥺🥺 i KNOW she can kill me with her bare hands but also she is baby and deserves LOVE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

capheusss god the sheer joy and hope and goodness he represents and god what a dork and #1 sun bak fanboy mun get in line he is so important <333

one of my favourite him quotes is the title of this blog and that’s not about to change :’)

ALSO speaking of detective mun my fucking beloved idk how underrated he is bc im not really around there much but i would DIE for him he is there for one purpose and that is to love sun bak even and often especially when she is beating the shit out of him and i love him for that

also he’s so 😳😳🥺🥺😍😍

that scene in the finale when he’s telling diego how sun brought him to meet her family then it just goes to this scene absolute peak of cinema <333

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) 

*kicks down door* MR HOY

*punches desk* there’s no GIFS

n e way sense8 went what is the one thing that could improve this - sylvester mccoy and they were RIGHT

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

will i don’t want to like him he’s a cop so he sucks but in s2 when he’s just ill and traumatised and crying and being Held by his gf i gotta be like 🥺🥺 they let him do that huh good for him

ALSO jonas man is literally kilgharrah he’s such a cryptic and flaky bitch for NO reason godbless when will’s in the final dramatic car chase and jonas just plops down nexct to him bc he’s about to die and will’s jsut like NOT NOW JONAS yeah i felt that <33

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

...kala

LEMME EXPLAIN OK i only want good things for her and her to be happy but when she’s having a crisis it is soo fucking funny and relatable this girl is grappling with being demi and poly and cheating on her husband and falling in love with her husband and a TON of excessive moral ruminations and convictions that she’s a terrible person i am so projecting my ocd onto her godbless and being so salty and dramatic like deadpan saying she has something deeply wrong with her while she’s wearing cute blouses and cat patterned shorts its a little hilarious and i love her and ofc it all comes right in the end :’))

also lito in much the same vein as kala they both learn and grow so much over the course of the series often together all while being as salty and dramatic as possible about it good for them <33

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

LILA i hate her sm she’s the worst character of them all why is she here why is she like that writers you had one job

also whispers obvs but he’s not even worth getting mad at he is LITERALLY only there to provide stakes he’s not a person xx

ty littt 💕💕💕💕

[octavianacidicbreastmilk]

the boys <3 (if you didn't only watch the mommy milk scene) and the alien franchise if you feel like it dlfjsd

chiara im not sure what implication is worse. that ive watched the boys for an extended period of time OR that im deranged enough to have seen only and exclusively the mommy milk scene.......

THE BOYS

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): annie starlight. idk shes blonde and i want her to raw me. i think that is abt the best i can achieve with this show

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): kimiko!! idk she is cute and she goes all in for murder and violence, whats not to love

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): madelyn stillwell ig? my milf was really out there weaponising milfdom even if by god i wish she didnt. deserved a pay rise for all that she had to do. misoginy at the workplace

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): does the ant-man guy who does the pussy dive in the first episode count? i guess?? icon??

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): ashley barret, for the pathetic fave category. my girl is out there being a secretary to momy kink guy with all the help her wobbly moral compass and spine made of jello can afford. literally so me <3

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): homelander. those freudian issues compel me (derogatory)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): homelander again. im just traumatised. like. heyyo. and ill stand by this statement in the likely case jackles is going to get his tits suckled by this dude.

ALIEN

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): to no-ones, surprise, DAVID 8 WEYLAND. literally the most cunt an android has ever served. literal cultural reset. i cannot talk abt this man enough, and by god if the comments of my mutuals are of any indication yall have heard me talk abt his a whole lot

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): elizabeth shaw. shescute, but shell abort your alien fetus right in your face. queen.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): vickers. those daddy issues give her the edge. less serious response, the homosexual rock guys, homophobia may have killed them but they touched balls for sure before it did

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): the engineer from prometheus. mental illness luv

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): also david, still for the pathetic and 'problematic' (with the quotation marks) fave. HE

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): elizabeth's shitty partner whose name escapes me

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): walter. simply bc he is the castiel of my prometheus. there to homosexual it up, but i do not fundamentally care abt him and superhell is a good place as any to squat and not be on my scree

[punkrockbuttrfly]

for the fandom asks:

- gallifrey

- .........and i know *i* know nothing abt it but if you have the time for it,,,,,, power rangers...? i wanna hear u get excited abt something you really really love again jdhfjfjkf

Send me a fandom and I’ll tell you my:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Gallifrey:

Blorbo: It's hard to say because I love all of them but it's probably going to end up being Romana because she just needs a hug and for people to listen but also to listen to other people because everyone should listen to Romana, she's right, until she's not at which point Romana Stop.

Scrunkly: Narvin, obviously. My Baby War Criminal. It's wild listening to the early episodes and hearing him be such an Asshole (derogatory) when you know he's going to develop and become an Asshole (affectionate) but seeing that development is glorious.

Scrimblo Bimblo: Aaaaaaaaaace! I know she's not underappreciated in the fandom but the series didn't do enough with her. Also Eris, who Deserved Better.

Glup Shitto: Mephistopheles Arkadian, of course! I know he appeared for a few episodes but he just made such an impression, he's The Worst and I love hearing him get stamped on.

Poor Little Meow Meow: Valyes. I know it's popular to hate Valyes. It's also correct to hate Valyes, he's awful and I hate him. But he's such a slimy fucker that I can't help but find him entertaining when he gets stamped on, much like Arkadian.

Horse Plinko: Braxiatel, the Bastard Man himself. I have written a few stories involving him but not enough that involve him losing dignity in funny ways because as much as it's great seeing him be a bastard, watching him get stamped on is just so entertaining. This is a theme now, isn't it?

Eeby Deeby: I know you're expecting me to say Darkel but she's honestly quite entertaining and effective as a villain. Nope, I'm going to say Zakar because fuck him. He's such a bastard that I can't even find him entertaining. He's just disgusting and I hate him.

Power Rangers:

Blorbo: I'm not entirely sure which to pick here. Do I pick the Ranger Slayer, who ended up becoming so runaway popular that she keeps coming back because everyone loves Formerly Evil Punk Rock Alternate Future Kimberly Hart? But also Ellarien the Purple Solar Ranger, who also ended up being runaway popular for being amazing and awesome and the first canon black lesbian in the franchise along with Remi her wonderful girlfriend? Or do I pick Doctor K, who desperately needs so many hugs and whose backstory episode genuinely makes me cry every time (and also the bit in the finale of Power Rangers RPM where she finally erases her greatest mistake and gets vindication on everything she's done since then?). Or maybe I should pick Jen Scotts, the hardass drill sergeant time traveller who learns to love life again as she saves the world time and time again? There's so many options.

Scrunkly: This one I am gonna say Doctor K. The image of the most intelligent woman in the world, but also one of the most traumatised, hanging around eating way too much sugar in bunny slippers while steadfastly refusing to emotionally connect with anyone until she just can't help it anymore is wonderful (oh! Add her reunion with Gem and Gemma onto the list of Doctor K Moments That Make Me Cry!)

Scrimblo Bimblo: Cassie! Cassie Chan is honestly my favourite member of the Zordon Era. She tends to get overshadowed by Kim or Kat or Andros or TJ (and that's not even talking about how fucking everyone in that era gets constantly overshadowed by Tommy and Jason) but she's just the best. Also it's harder to tell in Power Rangers in Space because she's normally in uniform but take one look at any of her outfits from Power Rangers Turbo and tell me that she's straight. She has the most lesbian fashion sense and I love it.

Glup Shitto: I'd wanna say Ellarien because she appeared in one story arc in the comics that nobody ever seems to talk about (in fact I think I was the first person to write a fic about her on AO3, and that was a couple years after she debuted) but she did get a reappearance later in the comic so maybe she's not as obscure as I tend to assume.

Poor Little Meow Meow: Eric Myers. Much like Narvin I talked about from Gallifrey, he starts out as an asshole (derogatory) but once he confronts his own racism and comes to the conclusion that he's actually wrong he genuinely does a lot of development very quickly and is one of the best characters (seriously, Trip Takes a Stand as an episode may not have aged that great (and I've written essays about that, and how Power Rangers Time Force as a whole handles the awkward subject) but for Eric's development it's a real turning point and afterwards he's a genuinely endearing character once he stops being a racist). He's a cop whose character arc is learning why being a cop is bad and then he (sort of) quits and that's great to me.

Horse Plinko: I mean, half of my Power Rangers writing has been about Ranger Slayer and that whole bucket of Trauma. You can't really write her without either tormenting her or tormenting everyone around her.

Eeby Deeby: This is not an unpopular opinion but Mentor Ji. He just fucking sucks, a mentor character written so badly he ends up coming across as completely unreasonable. He's written like the kind of asshole parental figure that the characters will grow beyond and realise that he's been awful to them (like Wes Collins' father if Mr. Collins didn't have any of his own character development) but he never realises he was wrong, and we're apparently supposed to agree with him. He sucks, and while there are plenty of problems with Power Rangers Samurai, the series would have been orders of magnitude better without him.

Thanks for the ask! Enjoy my wild ramblings!

[dreamdripdistance]

KH for the fandom ask thingy :)

YEAYEAYEYAYEAUYEAHYEHAYEHA

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most):

AQUA!!!! HANDS DOWN!!!! to give you some perspective my thoughts r divided as such:

40% my cats

50% ffxv or whatever Interest is bugging me that day

10% my actual responsibilities

200% Aqua Kingdom Hearts <3 <3 <3

shes just so !!!!!!!!! <3 shes the blorbo that is the main tenant in my brain rn, like shes got the penthouse suite. its to the point where i draw her more than anyone else in kh and is probs the only character where i have their design Memorised™ lmao

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

SORAAAAAA literally he is so Shaped. like. (grabs him and throws him at the wall like a squeaky toy) literally he was the reason i got into kingdom hearts bc for YEARS i was like. love that guy <3 love to know his whole Deal someday and when he was added to smash i was like AAAA ITS TIME

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave):

do the ff characters count? if so, i love leon so much <3 hes literally just some guy that decided to help this poor child with a weird weapon out for shits and gigs, also yuffie and cid r so funny. i care them <3

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week):

see above hehe

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):

axel mainly bc hes kind of fruity and kinda messed up but hes not rlly unpopular or controversial hes just kind of that weird but cool uncle that only comes over on christmas and plays mario kart with all the kids and i love him

im not rlly a "poor little meow meow" type person, i dont watch supernatural

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

the heart hotel bc i like torturing both myself and the skrunglos

(puts them thru the plinko) NOW DEVELOP!!!!!

vanitas is the only one mostly removed from the plinko-ing bc honestly i just want better things for him at this point, but the rest of the Sortas get the horse treatment

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell):

i will personally smite all the 'norts for obvious reasons i dont need to get into but also eraqus gets to go too only bc his younger self was voiced by drake bell. soz bestie you had great hair and being voiced by mark hamil Almost saved you but.... dont traumatise young kids by projecting ur black and white thinking onto them, goddamn

[machinatings]

Who is your blorbo? Your little grungly baby?

Oh man it. It has to be anakin skywalker. Ik I haven’t star wars posted in a while but truly no one I mean no one is doing it like he is. He is my ultimate toxic problematic sparkle princess meow meow no one else can compare.

This man is so traumatised and then his whole rest of his life is just the universe finding new and exciting ways to traumatise him more! And he never rlly gets help but he has a few people who love him so much who see him as family and he loves them so so much in return. And those relationships all have varying amour of problems but there IS love and care there and THEN. And then hurts and betrays every single one. And commits like just sooo many atrocities and goes from an intergalactic hero to the Second Worst Guy Just in General.

To me that’s so good that’s such a good character he goes from the sweetest kindest child to the most terrifying villain you’ve ever seen I love it he’s so fucked up. And he doesn’t even ENJOY it is the thing, palpatine does the fucked up shit he does for kicks vader is MISERABLE! But instead considering hey maybe I should change career paths he just gets Worse! And stays by the guy who’s been manipulating and lying to him since he was 10! Like anakin saw the sunk cost fallacy and used it as an instruction manual.

But anyway yeah. Yeah that’s my blorbo. That’s my grungle boy. The worst guy ever he’s my favourite. Literally what else could you want in a character.

[normal-looking-male]

am i allowed to ask what the deal is with hunter? i don’t mean to be rude im genuinely curious and remember little to nothing about s2 :0

GREAT QUESTION. I'm gonna avoid tagging this as anything Owl House-related at all, but if somebow a fan of Hunter sees this: Scroll past. You're not gonna like this post. (This is written spontaneously and without any reviewing or editing, so if I stop making sense at a certain point, R.I.P. to me, I guess.)

:readmore:

So, in his first appearances as the Golden Guard, he was pretty much just a snarky extension of Belos. A little shit causing trouble for the protagonists, threatening them and clearly revelling in his deeds.

And then the mask came off, and Dana mentioning that he's one of her favourites became glaringly obvious. Suddenly, this guy whose whole thing was that he was unquestioningly loyal and obedient to Evil White Man McGee, and as just another antagonist, he was great! But then suddenly he was this poor innocent little guy that just wanted to impress his uncle. Adorable, but this awkward uwu little guy was a bit of a tone shift. Where was all this timidity and morals when he was all for dropping best titan, my boy King, to his death?

It's just. So glaringly obvious Dana wanted to pull a Zuko, but Zuko was there from Book One of Avatar, and we could actually see him be an impatient and traumatised teenager, we saw his tragedy before we saw his cruelty. In fact, we are made aware early on that the reason he's on this quest in the first place was because his "crime" was not wanting people to die. We didn't get that with Hunter. We are just informed that he was led to believe what's right and what's wrong by Belos. But unless I missed something, he's most definitely been revelling in the damage he did on his own, without Belos there to tell him "now threaten their dog", or something.

Hunter could see the destruction that was caused by the Emperor's coven, and had an olive branch extended to him one after another by pretty much everyone else in the cast, but none of Belos' actions or the damage they did mattered to him until he found out he's a Grimwalker. He didn't absolutely obey Belos anymore, and would hide Flapjack from him and whatnot, but he was still loyal, and would excuse every horrible thing Witch Hitler ever did, until it affected him personally.

And that was probably the nail in the coffin for me. He only started to team up with the good guys proper after he found out he was just Belos' attempt at resurrecting Caleb. He only cared about the damage Belos has done and will do when he was the victim for a change. Kinda like every other teenage cis white boy that realised Nazism Is Bad, Actually, only when it affected him in a negative way. But, because he made some sad noises and was an awkward dorky uwu bean, the fandom latched onto him. Mostly it was the straight women that saw another angsty Varian-Kylo Ren-Hordak-(HORRIBLY MISINTERPRETED) Zuko-Some other villains whose names I can't be bothered to remember kind of guy, who was blatantly antagonistic and violent, clearly took pleasure or pride in his evil deeds, and had some vUlNeRaBlE sCeNeS, and then did a heel turn at the last possible second. Usually because, again, now that he felt he didn't wanna be a mass murderer anymore, he was now gonna be a good guy, everyone else be damned.

Of course the second his mask came off he was shipped with Luz and Amity (even though Amity is a lesbian, but hey, when has canon ever mattered to that part of the Owl House fandom), of course when that stopped working, he was shipped with Willow. And, here's the fun part, it's not because they work together. It's just shipping for the sake of shipping, just so that their special little blorbo can be shoved into dicussions about characters other than him, and most likely in part just the straight women using Willow as a vessel for projection, because they wanna kiss the angsty white boy, and Willow's more of a self-insert in that scenario. If Amity wasn't confirmed lesbian, I guarantee she'd be shipped with him way more, because the majority of the straight women that would eat the dirt off of Hunter's shoes are... Drumroll... Crackers themselves. Amity would just easier to project onto for them.

The recent episode isn't helping. Even in the conversation at the start that Hunter has with Luz, the second she mentions her worries and struggles, of course he makes it about himself. I shouldn't have been surprised at the audacity, given how self-centered his worldview is, but I just. I can't. I can't overlook that just because he got excited about wolves, or because Flapjack had to sacrifice himself to save his sorry ass, or because other characters just inexplicably care for the guy that would have probably executed them himself, if the Grimwalker part never became apparent to him.

The crew was robbed of a proper third season, we did not get everything Dana had planned for him, and me typing up this whole post is kinda hypocritical, given that the reason I don't even engage with the community anymore is because of the Hunter oversatutation. There's better characters to focus on. I'm just so damn tired of seeing him as a "parallel to Amity", or "sibling to Luz", or "crushing on Willow", or "adopted by Eda", I've genuinely had enough of this guy. He did not have an actual redemption arc. He just abruptly switched to being intended as sympathetic to the audience, because he's Dana's favourite, and the majority or the audience gobbled it up. My general distaste for angsty dickheads becoming The Fandom's Faves is also probably not helping with my growing disdain for his character, and what he represents in fandoms overall.

There's three potential fixes that could have been for him.

Disney not being jerks, and letting us have the full story. Maybe in that alternate timeline where Hunter actually had all his development, grew past what Belos drilled into his head, and actually at least properly apologised to the ones he hurt and betrayed (no, him kneeling before Camila is not cute, it's a sign the guy still thinks he has to serve someone, and no, Luz, he is not family, he triED TO KILL YOUR ACTUAL FOUND FAMILY ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS, ARE YOU INSANE-), I could actually move past my own dislike of him, and at least be neutral about his presence in the show.

Dana making up her mind about him either being a little shit or Just A Little Guy..., and also him actually willingly wanting to leave the Emperor's Coven for the sake of anyone besides himself. She had to just. Make him not selfish, it is not that hard. Make him actually compassionate and caring instead of other characters saying he is, and making him go 🥺🥺🥺 at that. It would change the order of certain events, but would at least work with the rest of the plot.

Keep him a bad guy without the uwu bean part, or just cut him out entirely. You'd have to rewrite the way the story progresses quite a lot, but that wouldn't be too big of a loss.

Also, I tend to half-jokingly headcanon characters as LGBTA+ even though canon would kinda go against that, but he's the exception. Like, not even from a "historical accuracy" standpoint. I can see, for example, Brendan from Secret Of Kells as transmasc. Ninth century my ass, the entire Abbey of Kells is Welcoming And Accepting[tm], and nothing gives me reason to believe any of the inhabitants would have been dicks about it. Meanwhile Belos canonically wants to wipe out witches in a very brutal way, most likely because he's still salty that Caleb boinked one, and is one of the most inarguably evil villains in recent kids' (well, teens seem to be more like the target audience, but y'know) media. If his bro 2.0 exhibited any signs of not being a cishet, he'd be dumped into that one cave where the previous Golden Guards got thrown out, and then patched to be cishet in the next update.

[redvanillabee]

Do Sherlock 👀

oh lordy

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): John Watson my beloved traumatised bisexual son

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Sherlock but specifically Sherlock in Gay Pilot and ASiB

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): I want to say Mrs. Hudson but she's not underrated at all. So. That sack of guns and unmarked cash Rosie Watson.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Molly's date to John and Sherlock Mary's wedding. I think his name is Tom? He gets this purely for the glorious line of 'meat dagger'.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): is there a widely 'problematic' or 'controversial' figure? Maybe S4 John judging by people's reaction to him in that season?

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Mycroft is going down the horse plinko. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Mary Morstan.