#seasonal depression kicking my ass <- hates april

[ballad-of-the-lamb]

stuff drawn between things

[sillyguyhotline]

ranking the months of the year bc fuck it

june- the friday of the year. has all the warm and pleasant weather of summer without things being too hot and has the promise of the entire summer stretched out before it. you feel like you have all the time in the world to relax.

july- another really pleasant and leisurely month with enough time left in the summer so you don’t feel too rushed. the fireflies are out at night, the weather is warm, life is good.

october- has one of the most fun holidays of the year and the general vibe of halloween is absolutely palpable throughout the entire month. the air is always really crisp and cool, and it’s one of those months where you’re actually looking forward to the weather becoming colder before the full brunt of seasonal depression kicks your ass. you’ve gotten the chance to adjust to the school year, you’re comfortable, and everything is still pretty nice.

may- the weather is just absolutely lovely, a milder form of june’s weather that carries the anticipation for the summer to come. just a generally warm, pleasant, and optimistic month.

december- the month of holidays, where everyone goes really hard on the cozy winter theme. just has very cozy, familial vibes; would be higher, but bc there are a lot of exams and school events close to the holidays i can’t appreciate it quite as much anymore.

march- while it’s one of the colder spring months, it’s the month where winter starts to melt and things start to look up again. the warm weather for the first time in what feels like ages is a breath of fresh air and you really feel like you can start to enjoy life more again.

august- while june was the friday, august is the sunday of months. it’s still pleasant and affords you time for relaxation, but you know the school year is just around the corner and that puts a damper on your enjoyment.

september- it’s the month of going back to school, but also a month that really feels like you’re starting anew without any burnout or missing assignments on your shoulders. the weather is also very pleasant, caught somewhere between the cool of autumn and the heat of summer.

april- there’s not much that makes april stand out. it’s a warm month, yes, but it’s caught just in the middle between winter and summer and thus doesn’t have much of a personality.

february- a month heavily dampened by the cold of winter, very close to reaching the light at the end of the tunnel but not quite there yet. it’s softened by some pleasant holidays like valentine’s day, but it’s still a rather sorrowful month.

november- cold, grey, and miserable, without the warmth of december’s holiday season to warm it up. thanksgiving is a pleasant enough holiday, but undoubtedly a boring one and insufficient to save this month’s placement.

january- BOO FUCK YOU MY SEASONAL DEPRESSION HATES YOU fuck january. it’s just a cold and sad and miserable month without any warm holidays to brighten it up, accented by the bullshit existence of end of semester exams. the worst and most stressful month, and the one that always tests my will to live the most

[christinamirabilis]

Question thingy cos I’m procrastinating going to bed which I will be heavily regretting at 7:30 when I have to get up for class but yolo

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  I don’t really use any of them tbh, like, I like to have all of my music in iTunes/on my phone - but if I ever stream music it’s actually normally on YouTube.

is your room messy or clean?  Right now it’s very messy, I was supposed to clean it days ago but I’m lazy.

what color are your eyes?  Blue.

do you like your name? why?  I’ve always been indifferent to it - or, really, it’s that depersonalised feel where I tell people my name is Christina and I answer to Christina but when I start to think about it, say it out loud slowly and mindfully, it feels like a foreign object in my mouth.  So I try not to do that because that’s uncomfortable as fuck.  But anyway, yeah, indifferent, but ever since I learned about Christina Mirabilis and how much she has come to mean to me, it’s better, like, it feels like fate I guess.  If such a thing exists, which is another thing I am ambivalent about.

what is your relationship status?  extremely single so if anyone wants to take one for the team and date me, that would be swell.

describe your personality in 3 words or less?  neurotic, means well.

what color hair do you have?  purple

what kind of car do you drive? colour?  sadly I do not have a car, but I do have a scooter, it’s silver.

where do you shop?  like, as in where do I buy my groceries?  Haha lmao but honestly this is so vague.  Bitch I’m poor and fat, I shop anywhere where I can find something that doesn’t look completely hideous and that my card won’t get declined trying to buy.

how would you describe your style?  see above.  Would like to dress way cooler than I do but lack of money, and - more importantly, since thrift shops are a thing when you’re skinny - being fat.

favorite social media account? Tumblr I guess, even though it’s often incredibly frustrating, because Facebook is a shitstain on the fabric of humanity and I don’t have Twitter and rarely use Instagram.

what size bed do you have?  double.

any siblings?  little sister, she’s 25, lives in Melbourne.

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?  somewhere that is perpetually warm, where I can speak the language well enough to practice as a clinical psychologist, but still in a big city - I’m thinking either Sydney or Queensland, or California.  South of France would be fucking lit too, I guess I know enough French that I could become fluent with total immersion.  Anyway, I just want to be warm year-round, seasonal depression always kicks my ass, I fucking loathe being cold.

favorite snapchat filter?  fuck man I don’t know, I don’t remember the last time I used a snapchat filter.

favorite makeup brand(s)  depends on which type of makeup, I have different favourite brands for different products.  But, generally, cheap, I guess.  Although my two favourite makeup items are an eyeshadow that I got from Topshop, and a Makeup Revolution highlight.

how many times a week do you shower?  most days.

favorite tv show?  that is a really difficult question, I have so many favourites.  Right now it’s Game of Thrones, obviously.  But I think Dollhouse is possibly my all-time favourite TV show.  And right now I’m watching Vikings, which I’m fucking loving, just finished the second season.  Although HONESTLY I don’t give a fuck about Princess Aslaug, when the fuck are Ragnar and Lagertha gonna get back together because Lagertha is my fucking bae.

shoe size?  normally 7 or 8 in NZ sizes, or 38EU.

how tall are you?  5′2″ of pure queer fury.

sandals or sneakers?  docs.

do you go to the gym?  lmao.

describe your dream date?  I’ve done this before but basically - luxury version with the girl I’m in love with involves long extended holiday wandering around the Mediterranean and just having lazy days of eating and napping and swimming and having sex and exploring and shopping. Other than that, I just really love to go to an outdoor bar on a warm summer’s afternoon and have sangria or margaritas or wine and antipasto or tapas, and just chill and chat, and maybe have a sneaky cigarette.  just, like, yeah.  perfect.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?  none, I don’t carry cash most of the time.

what color socks are you wearing?  grey with black polka dots, with a rabbit on each, they used to have pom poms on them for the rabbit’s tale but they’ve long since disintegrated.

how many pillows do you sleep with?  I sleep on one pillow but I have another one on the other side of my bed.

do you have a job? what do you do?  I am a supervisor in a bookstore.

how many friends do you have?  I don’t know off the top of my head, I’m not inclined to sit here and count them.

whats the worst thing you have ever done?  taken my pain out on my own body rather than directing my anger at the people who hurt me.

whats your favorite candle scent?  I don’t know but Sophie got me this Limoncello-scented one from Bath and Body Works in Vancouver but it’s humungous and heavy as fuck so she couldn’t afford to send it to me but I hope maybe when she eventually comes back she’ll bring it with her because I think that would be my favourite scent.

3 favourite boy names?  I don’t know, honestly, I don’t often think about boy names, I guess cos I’m fucking gay as shit so boys never cross my mind in any capacity.  But I like Elliott.  But I also like that name for a girl so idk,

3 favourite girl names?  I have heaps but the first three that spring to mind are Anneke, Rhiannon, and Sinead.

favorite actor?  don’t know tbh.  Probably Harrison Ford as Han Solo, cos he’s my son.

favorite actress?  a hard choice but Emilia Clarke is the one I crush on the hardest so yeah idk.

who is your celebrity crush?  who ISN’T?  I swear I’m in love with half the women in music and film.  Emilia Clarke is a big one, obviously, but also at the moment I’m crushing mega hard on Tash Sultana.

favorite movie?  I don’t know, I’ll just say Amélie because that film never fails to cheer me up.

do you read a lot? what’s your favourite book?  I do read a lot, and I have no fucking idea.

money or brains?  In a partner?  Brains, I guess, although that’s very subjective, given Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences - I guess it depends on what you value.  I, personally, value emotional intelligence.

do you have a nickname? what is it?  Stina.

how many times have you been to the hospital?  Uhhh.  I don’t know off the top of my head, and I probably can’t count accurately because there are a few admissions that I just straight up don’t remember.  At least 10 times, I would say.

top 10 favourite songs?  nah, that’s too hard.

do you take any medications daily?  yeah, I take sertraline (anti-depressant), prazosin (alpha-blocker - for PTSD), and birth control (for PCOS).  I also take magnesium and vitamin D because they’re both fucking lifesaving tbh.

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)  I don’t know.  All I know is that it never fucking does what I want it to.

what is your biggest fear?  The people I love dying, especially my close family.

how many kids do you want?  more than one but no more than three.

whats your go to hair style?  down.  I always wear it down.  I have a pretty large side-undercut, so.

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)  The house itself is really big, it’s an old villa, but it’s divided into two flats, we’re on the bottom floor.  It isn’t huge, we have a tiny lounge, a slightly-larger-than-average kitchen, and average-sized bathroom/laundry - but our rooms are all fucking humungous.

who is your role model?  my therapist, my old high school guidance counsellor, my friends.

what was the last compliment you received?  Owen said my hair looked good today.

what was the last text you sent?  it was a really long Facebook message to the girl I’m currently talking to, we’re going on a date on Thursday, I’m excited.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?  Idk, I figured it out pretty young, I was a bright kid.  Maybe five or six?

what is your dream car?  I don’t really know.  I like 70s muscle cars but honestly at the end of the day any car is a good car.  Plus, practically-speaking, I would like something that is kind on the environment, an electric car or a hybrid.

opinion on smoking?  I think that it is something people do when they need something to alleviate a distressing situation.  It’s no secret that smoking is more prevalent among the poor and the mentally ill, as well as those with high-stress jobs.  I am an ex-smoker who relapses one or two times a year, the last time I had a cigarette was early April.  I sometimes start smoking again when I am not doing well emotionally or if I’m really stressed (eg during exams).  And I don’t like it, it makes me feel tired, it makes my throat phlegmy, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth and it makes me stink of smoke, and it is fucking expensive, but it meets a need.  So my opinion is that I don’t like smoking, but sometimes it has a hold on me that I can’t resist, and I have the utmost compassion for anyone who smokes.

do you go to college?  yeah, I’m in my last year of my undergrad.

what is your dream job?  clinical child and youth psychologist.

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?  inner-city suburbs - far out enough to still live in a free-standing house with a garden, but close enough that I can walk to the city, or be there after a short bus trip. That’s the situation I live in at the moment and it’s perfect.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?  No, because I’m a snob and only like to use my own shampoo and conditioner.  But I don’t see anything wrong with it, since you’re paying for them.  Taking appliances and dressing gowns and towels, however, is not acceptable in my opinion.

do you have freckles?  Not really.

do you smile for pictures?  Sometimes but I hate having my photo taken so it always looks strained.

how many pictures do you have on your phone?  Not that many at the moment, I just did a big dump of photos onto my laptop, I like to do that from time to time so my iCloud doesn’t run out of space.

have you ever peed in the woods?  yeah, and on the side of the road, and once behind Sophie’s house when her flatmate was taking a really fucking long time in the shower and I desperately needed to pee.

do you still watch cartoons?  nah, but only cos they’re not my cup of tea, absolutely no hate.

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?  I’m a vegetarian.

Favorite dipping sauce?  see above.

what do you wear to bed?  pyjama pants and an old t-shirt.

have you ever won a spelling bee?  no, they’re not a thing in New Zealand, but if they were I would have fucking cleaned up - not to blow my own horn or anything but I am a freakishly good speller.  It’s kind of a not terribly useful skill though, and doesn’t say anything about my level of intelligence.  Just like my weird propensity for memorising numbers, even if I haven’t used them in 10 or 15 years (like my NCEA student number, and the mobile number for the cellphone I lost when I was 14).

what are your hobbies?  netflix, napping, and memeing.

can you draw?  nope, not even a little bit.

do you play an instrument?  yeah I play the violin, and I can also play piano, and I’m a decent choral singer, and I was once an okay percussionist, and I am a below-average guitarist, and an abysmal flute player.  But those last three were self-taught so yeah.

what was the last concert you saw?  The Veils BUT I’m going to see Sigur Rós on Friday and I am dying of excitement.

tea or coffee?  peppermint tea.

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?  Dunkin Donuts, but not for the coffee, I just really like donuts.  Plus we don’t have Dunkin Donuts in Wellington so it’s a huge novelty for me when I get to have them, I’m almost as excited about getting Dunkin Donuts when I fly into Auckland on Friday as I am about seeing my favourite band live haha.

do you want to get married?  Yes.

what is your crush’s first and last initial?  I don’t currently have a crush.

are you going to change your last name when you get married?  No but I will consider hyphenating if that’s something my wife wants to do.

what color looks best on you?  black I guess.

do you miss anyone right now?  I kinda miss Soph but these days I’m just starting to, like, I don’t know.  Adjust.  Which is nice.  Realising that the way things worked out is for the best, because otherwise I would have been in for a lot of misery.  Even though Sophie is a wonderful person whom I love and care about a huge amount.  Apart from that, I miss being close to Nic, because she is like a sister to me, and I wish that we lived near each other so we could support one another.

do you sleep with your door open or closed?  Closed.

do you believe in ghosts?  No, but I could be convinced to change my mind with enough evidence.

what is your biggest pet peeve?  People with bad manners, it is really not that fucking hard to say “please” and “thank you”?  I mean, I’m talking in a work context here pretty much, customers can be so fucking rude.  And the rude ones are all, without a single exception, baby boomers.  So... yeah.

last person you called?  Owen.

favorite ice cream flavour?  I’m not really an ice cream person but I really like Ben and Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, that’s another thing I’m super looking forward to when I go to Auckland.  If it seems like I’m obsessed with food, it’s because I am - but I am especially obsessed with getting all of the bread and sugar I can into myself in the next week because next week I’m starting the keto diet and I’m dying a little inside just thinking about it, I really fucking love sugar and bread.

regular oreos or golden oreos?  regular.

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?  rainbow.

what shirt are you wearing?  t-shirt with very thin stripes.

what is your phone background?  beyoncé in the formation video.

are you outgoing or shy?  depends on the context, but mostly shy.

do you like it when people play with your hair?  yeah.

do you like your neighbors?  I don’t know them but they seem nice in passing.

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?  always.

have you ever been high?  yes.

have you ever been drunk?  yes.

last thing you ate?  cheesecake.

favorite lyrics right now?  eh.

summer or winter?  SUMMER.

day or night?  Idk I like both, it depends.

dark, milk, or white chocolate?  milk.

favorite month?  January.

what is your zodiac sign?  Aries but I don’t believe in that shit.

who was the last person you cried in front of?  Either my therapist or Owen and Autumn, I can’t remember.  Possibly both, I went through a stage of pretty much constantly crying a couple of weeks back lmao.

[votives]

2016 in Review

Last year I wrote a month-by-month summary of 2015 for my own benefit. I found it last week and it was really fun to see what happened in my own personal life. This is that, but for 2016. A lot happened in the world, but this really is just about my own personal life for me. If for whatever reason you care, feel free to read on. Cheers to 2017!

January: I rung in the new year with my friend Edel and two of her long-time friends, which was casual and fun and a great way to kick-off a year that I wanted to base on self-improvement and self-love. Nearly as soon as I got back to school, I got a job at my favorite coffee shop (which I’ve been working at for almost a year!) Not even a week later I was on my way home from d-hall dinner with my gal pal WXJM friends I made in fall ‘15 when my former roommate called me and told me that there was a package waiting for me when I came home. When I got home and opened my bedroom door, I was sprayed with confetti and a group of strangers (who just spent time in my horribly decorated room complete with a Rupert Grint cardboard cutout) sang the JMU fight song to me — I got into Student Ambassadors! Winter Storm Jonas barricaded me in my apartment allowing me to catch up on all my favorite movies, but also made me shovel several feet of snow out from around my car so I could drive to my first day at work. 

February: I started having friend-dates to find a mentor in SA and knew within 10 minutes of my coffee date with my friend Taylor that I needed her as my mentor. Emma came to visit one weekend, which was significantly less messy than the time she visited the semester before. A little later, at the mentor/mentee reveal, Taylor and I found out we got each other and pretty much became friend soulmates. (Things have continued as such). We started going to weekly yoga together. I had my first tour and became polo official. This month was heavy in that organization. It was also during this month that I absolutely crushed hard on this guy in one of my writing classes. We had the same political views, he was incredibly well spoken and funny, and he was literally a surfer from Hawaii. We went to a house show together, got lunch once or twice and hung out at the library on several occasions, but at the end of the day it didn’t go anywhere. 

March: Meredith, my parents & I went on a cruise for spring break. The first cruise Mer or I had ever been on. Was less then great, as one of our stops got cancelled (we were supposed to go to the Ernest Hemingway house) but it was still absolutely amazing to spend a week exploring with my best friend. Highlight: cave-diving in Mexico with Mer & my parents. I had my one year mark with The Breeze. I think everyone was a little shell-shocked when I didn’t apply for editor the month before, but I had just gotten the job and the organization and didn’t want to be overwhelmed. I was getting over Hawaiian boy when my friend suggested I go for this really outgoing boy I met a house show. He was a ball of energy and made me look quiet. With her help, he and a few of his friends became a part of our growing friend group and I tried to spend more time with him. Macrock happened which was 1. amazing 2. horrifying. I missed more of it than I would have liked to, but it was because I was having so much fun with my friends. I volunteered to help at the door of a random show, and ended up working the heavy metal show, also.

April: Either mid-March or early April I got really close to a handful of seniors in SA, which was the most devastating thing I could’ve done. I spent a lot of this month at the library or d-hall with them, and I spent a lot of weekends at their houses. It was around this time that I also developed a crush on a senior in WXJM who was planning to stay another year, which was good timing because I realized that my friend had slept with the boy she was helping to set me up with. I was named top writer in my section for The Breeze, and spent a growing time with my SA friends as I got disenchanted with WXJM for a little. We found out that our fourth-roommate, who we thought was living with us this current year, never signed the lease. I don’t think I ever actually said goodbye to her in person. 

May: I went to the beach for a week with a bunch of friends which was partly horrible and partly amazing. There was a ton of unavoidable drama, but I also learned that sharing a pullout couch with two other people makes you really close. I adopted a Jimmy Buffet mentality for the week and spent the entire week trying to be as happy and carefree as possible, and it worked. My parents, during this time, were moving from our 2015 residence to a house we’re currently renting closer to my dads work. When I got back, I interviewed for and got an internship for the summer. I’m a sneaky ass, so when I hung out with a bunch of friends the day before my birthday I decided to not mention my birthday to any of them. One of my closest friends, Lizzet, knew though and had secretly brought a gift. I got a bunch of angry texts at like 1 in the morning from friends mad that I didn’t remind them. The morning of my 20th birthday my mom informed me that the night before, my little cousin had been diagnosed with Leukemia. I cannot explain how devastated I was and still am about that. Later in the day, Meredith & Josh drove up to visit and spend several days with me. We went to DC, Great Falls, and watched a ton of Gossip Girl & Parks and Rec. 

June: I started my internship. I got surprisingly into Gossip Girl. Edel and I started to get lunches fairly often to discuss the weirdness of being a 20 year old but also having a business-casual job. My godson, Ben was born!  We sold and moved out of our lakehouse of eight years, which was weird to say the least. I went to visit Emma,  Autumn & Emily in Richmond. A lot of it didn’t go according to plan, but some highlights: I spent a TON of time with Daniel, Junaid, Ian & Dan (the senior friends and their roommates from April) and Autumn & I met fuckin Josh Radnor (aka Ted Mosby) when we were out to brunch. Had a mUCH needed catching-up session with Lizzet when I got back. 

July: We moved into our new lakehouse! The goal is to move out of the rental next year and my parents will move full-time to the lake. I went to my school apartment for a weekend to move-out and got to spend much needed time with Taylor and a friend Maddie who left my organization. Moving out of my apartment was weird, because I hated it but it had a lot of memories. Edel and I started a food instagram. Autumn came to visit me at the lake, which included trips to get icecream, kayaking ventures, tubing and trying to watch the stars. I went to NC for a weekend to see my much-missed high school friends. It was overwhelming and amazing and I could’ve spent another week easily. 

August: Met up with a friend from high school who happened to be interning in DC and went to my first ever Nats game. Meredith and Josh came to the lake for a weekend, the third time I got to see her this year which is honestly a miracle. Autumn and I moved in to our apartment on the same day, after only being assigned it like three days before after a summer of roommate assignments that fell through. We spent a lot of the night cleaning, then the rest of it unpacking and trying to get ready for orientation (We were FROGS: First Year Orientation Guides). My FROG group was amazing: my partner was a perfect contrast to me, and we ended up having a ton of mutual friends. My entire group of FROGs got really close together, and I particularly bonded with a friend named Taryn who is honestly just me. We’re pretty much twins. We also were both trying to start being some form of vegetarian at the same time, which is how we initially bonded. My first years kind of hated me at times and I didn’t have the same experience as most of my FROG friends, but I’m still really grateful for it. 

September: First few weeks of school were super fun because none of my responsibilities had really kicked in yet, so I could do whatever. I went to my first JMU tailgate which was incredibly fun, and I got to go to several games in the beginning of the season when I missed all of last season. Bikash and I started our third season at WXJM, Bear Necessities. I had dinner at the university presidents house. Emma and I became friends again, after a little bit of a hiatus. 

October: Realized that I have a crush on a good friend, which always sucks. Didn’t do anything about it. Taylor and I saw Chance the Rapper live, which was super weird and super amazing and the most fun. Taylor took me to the lavender farm because she just gets me. We went with the boy who ghosted me, which was weird, but it’s ok. Autumn turned 21! We had a bunch of people over to our apartment. It was so fun. I got a little in WXJM and she’s perfect. She’s my year, she’s cooler than me, and she’s incredibly vocal about the phenomenal things that she is passionate about. I went to Minnesota one weekend for my cousins wedding and got to see my moms side of the family, which I always miss. I impulse bought a razor scooter, which I once rode to work to make fun of my coworkers. Meredith and Josh came to visit JMU for Hallow-homecoming! A bunch of my alumni friends were also visiting that weekend. I didn’t get to see a lot of alumni, but I had a ton of fun with Mer and Josh: highlights include briefly going to a tailgate, going to Rocky Horror and going to Benny’s. 

November: Lizzet turns 21! I went to see Beach House in Charlottesvile, which was an amazing show and an interesting night. I got enough confidence to ask my lingering crush from last semester out to get pizza, but I’m pretty positive it was just as friends because that was the last time we talked even though it couldn’t have possibly gone better. The election happened, which was depressing. I participated in a live discussion on feminism for The Breeze, which was great. There was an armed man barricaded in my apartment building one morning and my roommates and I were told by a police officer (one of many surrounding my building) to evacuate and run to the clubhouse, where I stayed for several hours (not forced) to get updates. It ended peacefully. Mer turned 21 and I missed it, which sucked. For Thanksgiving we went to NC for like 4 hours, which was nice but brief. 

December: Taylor’s birthday! I got her a stuffed goat from You’ve Goat Mail for Christmas and I’m still absurdly proud about it. Lizzet took me to the Smallpools Concert for free, but we accidentally missed the meet & greets. I went to a Christmas Cocktail where I only knew a few people and walked away with a bunch of new friends: namely, a house-dog. I either got food poisoning or the stomach bug, who’s to tell. Operation Santa Claus happened and was super fun. After months of stress, I was accepted into a study abroad program in Italy, which my friend Emily is going on too. I had a really stressful academic end of the semester, but left for break feeling really good about the next semester. I have every intention to apply to be a section editor for The Breeze. I still have a crush on my friend that I realized in September and still haven’t acted on it. I’m torn between going for it or letting it go. Time will tell. A bunch of my family got sick over Christmas, and somehow I didn’t. So I’m either a huge successful germaphobe or I already had the bug. We binge watched The OA, and wow. My brother gave me a ton of records and my mom made some new pillows for me, so I decided to transform my room since we’re staying in our apartment. 

for 2017:

Looking forward to applying for editor

Looking forward to hitting one year @ black sheep

Looking forward to getting my own mentee in SA

Looking forward to studying abroad

Looking forward to turning 21 

Hoping my cousin becomes cancer free

Hoping we get to go on last year’s planned NYC trip, which we delayed

Hoping I either make a move or give up on that boy 

Hoping I get back into yoga & stay relatively healthy  

[justincharlacher]

My Favorite Stuff of 2016

I was asked today if I had any favorite records of 2016, and after some consideration, the answer is no. I just didn’t listen to much music this year, and I’m actually relying on the year end lists of others to rectify that. I did watch a bunch of stuff and listen to a bunch of podcasts this year, so here is a list of stuff that moved me in those media, as well as two live music events that rocked me to bits in 2016.

Live music

The Local H reunion with original drummer Joe Daniels for a tour celebrating the 20th anniversary of their second record, As Good As Dead, kicked off in Chicago at the Metro on the anniversary weekend, April 15 and 16. I was there, and it was huge for me. Folks who know me know that Local H has been the band I’ve most consistently followed ever since seeing them touring for AGAD opening for Stone Temple Pilots in Philadelphia in November of 1996. So to be in their hometown for two sold out shows with Joe behind the kit for a set comprised of the entire AGAD record was amazing. It was made only better by the fact that current drummer Ryan Harding and singer/guitar/bass lunatic Scott Lucas kicked off the proceedings with a blistering set, and Lucas was then flanked by both drummers beating the ever-loving fuck out of a pair of quivering drum kits for a finale heavy on tunes from my favorite H record, 1998′s Pack Up the Cats. I would catch up with the tour a few weeks later in DC and Philly, a night that ended with a cheesesteak outing with the band and began with the fellas even tighter and more comfortable playing together. These dates were the highlights of my crappy 2016.

Nearly as awesome was seeing New Oreans sludge weirdos eyehategod in a tiny club in New York City in the fall. I’ve certainly seen EHG in tiny clubs before, but on this tour Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe was filling in for the ailing Mike Williams, and he was insane. I haven’t been into LoG for many years, and they long ago grew out of playing clubs, but this was a reminder of why I loved them so much. Blythe was a force of nature, a wild animal unleashed on a stage to a small room 2/3 full. Dude is the truth. Williams had a successful liver transplant at the end of the year, so hopefully he’ll back out croaking his unearthly vocals for the band soon enough, but catching the Blythe version was a real treat. 

Podcasts

Extra Hot Great remains my favorite podcast. The crew who brought you Television Without Pity and Fametracker brave tech issues and thousands of miles of distance to bring discussion of television and ridiculous games. David T. Cole, Sarah D. Bunting, and Tara Ariano are the best thing I pipe into my earholes every week. 

Slate’s Panoply network has expanded to include a wealth of great content, but I still gravitate to the OG lineup of The Culture Gabfest, Hang Up and Listen, and The Political Gabfest, which I turn on as soon as I wake up on Friday mornings. Each of these has three hosts with unique points of view and awesome chemistry, though they aren’t afraid to disagree. 

The Read is Kid Fury and Crissle. Angry. Black. Queer. Put on your helmet!

The Film Pigs have the only podcast about movies on the internet, and certainly the only one that Chuck D. composed theme music for. Just ask them. 

The Cracked Podcast often retreads ground covered in the articles on the site, but it’s worth it to hear Jason Pargin aka David Wong talk about anything. Dude is smart, thoughtful, and the kind of voice that needs exposure behind a humor site. 

We Hate Movies. Start with the Boondock Saints II  episode. You’ll thank me.

Television

Fleabag (Amazon Prime): This show you guys! Six episodes. Three hours. I dare you not to do it in one go. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is a revelation as the eponymous hero with a foul mouth and the need to nervously chat with the audience throughout her adventures. To say too much would be doing disservice to the fantastic narrative that Waller-Bridge, who also created and wrote the show, has constructed. Just brace yourself for a wallop of an ending--and the urge to start over again as soon as you’ve finished. This was my favorite tv thing in 2016.

Catastrophe (Amazon Prime): Season two. Rob and Sharon are parents. What could go wrong?

Banshee (Cinemax): This show aired its fourth and final season in 2016, though I only caught up with the first three seasons earlier in the year. It’s the show for folks (like me) who love the kind of R-rated, big dumb action pictures that Hollywood doesn’t make anymore. An unnamed thief gets out of prison after 15 years and hauls ass to small town Pennsylvania to meet up with the woman he left behind. By chance, he witnesses the death of the town’s new sheriff, and using quick thinking and a hacker best friend dressed in drag, assumes the sheriff’s identity. As sheriff Nate Hood, our hero fights crime and corruption, and an apostate Amish kingpin. The action is filmed spectacularly, the violence would make Kurt Sutter blush, and it’s Cinemax, so you know the sex is sultry and plentiful. This show is an underrated gem.  

Rectify (Sundance Network): Like Banshee, this one wrapped a four season run in 2016, and I had only just caught up with it. The tale of Daniel Holden, a man sentenced to death at 18 and released nearly twenty years later on a technicality (the show is cagey about his guilt), this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen on television, full stop. With standout supporting performances from Abigail Spencer and Clayne Crawford so powerful that I followed the actors to lesser network dramas, this show creates a portrait of people just trying to work through an emotional bomb that as been dropped as the shattered son, brother, friend, and step-brother they thought they’d never see again walks among them. Powerful stuff from Ray McKinnon, who I still think of as Reverend Smith on Deadwood. 

Better Call Saul (AMC): Season two finds Jimmy with the opportunity to settle in as a legit lawyer and partner to Kim. Watching him willfully blow it is agony. 

Search Party (TBS): So yeah...TBS is making quality dramedies now. Alia Shawkat leads a group of painfully self-involved friends as they search for a missing girl who they sort of maybe knew in college. Being lost in life is the real thematic game here, and the show finds a fresh way to engage this age-old trope. 

Bojack Horseman (Netflix): I’m not sure that there has been a show as depressing as this one. Bojack Horseman wraps the self destructive tendencies of Walter White, Don Draper, and James McGill together and multiplies them. It’s made worse because he also really feels things, kind of. The third season dropped on Netflix in 2016, but you have to start from the beginning and give the show some time to hook you. It’s well worth it.

The People V. O.J. Simpson (FX): Never in a million years did I think I would even like this, but boy howdy... I loved it. Sarah Paulson is jaw-dropping in bringing Marcia Clark to life and her chemistry with Sterling K. Brown’s Christopher Darden is scorching. Whether or not Darden and Clark hooked up in real life, I can’t imagine many folks who didn’t want these two characters to just get busy already. Courtney B. Vance crushed the role of Johnnie Cochran. And what in God’s name was Travolta doing?! I hate Ryan Murphy products. I loved this show!

Finally, I’m going to toss out a group of good but not great shows that also watched intently in 2016. The Girlfriend Experience on STARZ expands on Soderbergh’s film with a real actress this time (though I think Sasha Grey did what was asked of her in the film). Quarry on Cinemax tells the story of a man who returns to Memphis after two tours in Vietnam and finds himself drawn into a mysterious underworld as an assassin. Lethal Weapon on FOX is far better than it has any right to be, and casts Rectify’s brilliant Clayne Crawford as Riggs to Damon Wayans’s Murtaugh. And Timeless on NBC tells the story of a hijacked time machine and the ragtag crew sent to chase it through American history. Abigail Spencer shows up in this one, so score another extension of Rectify. None of these shows is going to compete with greats like Rectify or Breaking Bad or The Wire, but even in a crowded tv market, I think they are worth a look. They are solid. 

Movies

This is a short one as I saw very few new movies in 2016.

Green Room: Jeremy Saulnier brings the hurt with this tale of a hardcore band touring the Pacific northwest who get caught up with group of violent skinheads after a gig. Practical gore. Psychological horror. Patrick Stewart bringing soft-spoken menace as the cool leader of the neo-Nazi group. Also, one of Anton Yelchin’s final performances before his tragic death. This one had me watching through my fingers in the theater.

Brand: A Second Coming: This documentary chronicling the ups and downs of Russell Brand was probably the most thought-provoking film I saw all year. Directed by Ondi Timoner, who has made a career of examining male hubris, this film depicts a man who seems to truly mean well but simply cannot get out of his own way. I found it to be a very powerful character study. 

The Nice Guys: I’m in the bag for Shane Black. He still makes the big dumb action pictures. I even liked Russell Crowe in this one.

The Conjuring 2: Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga are terrific. These films are legit scary. James Wan expertly uses his camera for maximum tension.

Blue Jay: Sarah Paulson again. I love her. And I’ve also become very fond of Mark Duplass the actor. I’ve mentioned this film before. A lovely two-hander about what could have (and maybe should have) been. 

So that’s it. On to 2017! Thanks for reading.