#sdjkldjfgk

[autisticpika]

hi AAH this is random i just drew smth bc im tryin to sort out my identity but i feel like the different facets of my personality are in a way things of their own since ive run seperate blogs for all of them (they still feel like me in a way.. except not rly? idk how to explain, except for kenny hes a seperate thing on his own like an imaginary friend or smth and hes been around for like 3 years where my blog personalities are new as of this year)

its interesting i think looking at them like theyre all seperate! mostly because they feel different from each other! i jsut did this to help me organize my thoughts idc if nobody else really reads it. if u do wanna read about my weird self, click the Read More i guess.

ray: thats me.. all the time all the time. the Default (they/them)

kenny: the imaginary friend and boy! helped me out in early high school. hes barely around anymore and i think its because i was misinformed about him and thought he was an alter and i thought i had did but i dont thing i do lol. i had a phase where i really did think i had alters but they were forced and not helpful and not real (it was weird im ashamed i did that, i think i was just doing the alter thing bc ppl i know on tumblr had alters and i wanted to be cool, it was Not a proud time for me) but kenny always felt like a real pal and he still kinda sticks around and sometimes he cheers me up when im down! stagnant but im hopin he comes around again soon (he/him)

big bird: brand new! basically just a kin shift i think, the only time i dont really feel like a dangass pikachu lmao. its weird broe. but i feel like a different person as big bird, im regressing but i still feel like more emotionally stable and like i want to help people and kind of be a caring figure? its complicated idek (he/him and kind of they/them)

kandi: about right after big bird! this is still me, i just thought it would be interesting if i called this “kandi” since thats in my url for my edgy Scene Kid blog as if it was a name. anyways, this is kind of regressing between like 9 and 12 years old but more wild since i never really got a scene kid phase at that age since i felt very pressured to not be made fun of lol. makes me wish i was a warrior cats kid but i cant get into warriors, its tragic (they/them and mew/mewself but nobody uses the mew pronouns... rip)

blankie: literally like brand new lol. i needed another regressing space where i didnt feel like i wanted to care for anyone like big bird does, also im So Picky about my aesthetic on the big bird blog i wanted something where i didnt feel as bothered when a post didnt fit the yellow color scheme. so blankie was born! (once again blankie and kandi arent really Names theyre just seperate feelings of me and i gave them names. also i just realized i typed the word seperate like a million times in this and also dont know how to spell it without an E apparently lol) (idk pronouns yet! probably just they/them and mayyyyyybe he/him but im on the fence abt he pronouns for myself besides big bird)

so yeah i dont really think im a system or anything, im Complicated. but sorting my comfort sideblogs as personalities is interesting and it makes me feel kind of more grounded? because i normally dont feel like these anywhere but on the blogs or when im by myself, my default is always ray (me obviously) and i can kind of switch into these personalities under control and its really soothing for me! (except for kenny, hes a frickin mystery. probably just an imaginary friend but i help run his blog and he helps me forget bad stuff.)

SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG AGH idk what im rambling about or what the deal with me is but this was nice to do.