#scuze me while I die from cuteness

[melkors-big-tits]

Oh my Gosh💖💖💖

THEY'RE SO ADORABLE💖💖💖💖💖💖

*stuffs them all into a bag and runs off giggling gleefully like a deranged lunatic*

Dear @i-did-not-mean-to you've melted my cold heart with your incredibly adorable art and absolutely hilarious story and for this you have won my favor. So consider your enemies destroyed for hence forth they shall also be My enemies😈

Also you shall get cake💖

Angbang Week - Day 7

@angbangweek So...for the grand finale...One scene of utter madness! (And aaaaaah SO much bad art!!!)

Words: 705

Characters: Mairon, Melkor, Gothmog, Saruman & a surprise guest

Warnings: I am a dumb bitch. Be advised! Also, the jokes are in German...I'll explain :)

Special thanks to @cilil without whom none of these pieces would have been made and who inspired this piece. Yes, we have a lot of BTS discussions...

“Well, this is a surprise,” Melkor bleated and—in his initial panic—promptly kicked a bucket all the way through the small hangar in which he had awoken as from a deep sleep.

“You don’t say, master,” his beloved Mairon grunted, visibly displeased by the dirt clinging to his rosy, pink skin. “We’ll end up on someone’s plate!”

He had already scouted the area and found that—despite the misleading name—the region was overgrown with very regular, green trees. They were hardly black and the picturesque little cottages specking the charming landscape didn’t strike him as particularly sombre either. How disappointing!

Before Melkor would voice his nascent curiosity as to the potential reincarnation—their essences having been poured into delicious meat rather than formidable flesh—of any of his other cronies, a small kid-goat rammed its way through the partition.

“Oi, you won’t believe it,” Gothmog cried. “I still have horns but, for some unfathomable reason, I am really small and very fluffy.” He sounded strangely and unmistakably amused by that fact.

“Gothmog,” Melkor greeted enthusiastically. “Well met, my old friend.”

“You won’t believe what I’ve found!” Gothmog bleated excitedly. “It’s a kind of cake, soft as clouds, with some creamy, delicious stuff layered in and fruit soaked in strong spirits!”

“How would you know?” Mairon—or rather Sau-ron—asked suspiciously, narrowing his gleaming, beady eyes.

“Where did you find it? And did you leave any for me?” Melkor interrupted, seemingly unfazed by the fact that his deplorable sidekick had just singlehandedly made the probability that they’d end up on the chopping block skyrocket.

“Duh! In the kitchen; they put it on the windowsill. Good thing I was given a body willing and able to sample just about anything!”

“You’ll get sick nonetheless,” Mairon predicted with barely dissimulated Schadenfreude. “Congratulations on being reembodied and promptly regressing into theft and other crimes!”

“Ah, but cake!” Melkor whined pleadingly, stomping his hooves and tossing his furry head impatiently. He seemed very eager to follow Gothmog into his hare-brained heist rather than hatch out a solid plan regarding their vitally important and increasingly pressing escape.

“I repeat,” Mairon cut him off sharply, “we are in a much more precarious situation than ever before. We shall be slaughtered and consumed—come to think of it, I’d probably welcome that. Don’t look at me!”

His innate vanity was lethally wounded by the rotund, cushy shape of his physical prison—he had ever despised and loathed swine and it was the summum of punitive measures to bind him to such an undignified form.

“It suits you,” Melkor said soothingly, rubbing his smelly head against the bouncy ribs of his former lieutenant. “And I’d rather see you alive as a little pig than to be deprived of your sparkling company.”

Somewhat reconciled, Mairon’s sharp mind took stock of their situation—they had been freed, which was good, but they were now amongst the lowest of the low, which was distinctively less good.

“We need to escape,” he declared, looking expectantly into the uncanny eyes of two goats. Both were already munching happily on the splinters Gothmog’s tempestuous entrance had left on the floor. “If we don’t want to be returned to the endless nothingness before we’ve even had the chance to subjugate, I mean explore, this new world.”

“Sound plan,” Melkor praised warmly. To Mairon’s distress and annoyance, he went on chomping on everything he could get his voracious mouth on though, instead of offering any good ideas on how they’d manage that necessary jailbreak.

Outside the barn, a rooster screamed melodically.

“Oh, someone is bellyaching,” Gothmog commented, then froze, his woolly ears twitching in dim recognition. “Could this be…?”

A loud crash interrupted his earnest attempts at rational reflection.

“Hmmm-wow,” an enchanting voice exclaimed. The bull—his fur a swirl of blinding white and multi-coloured, iridescent spots—froze within the massive hole he had torn into the wall.

“Master,” he greeted Mairon with a small dip of his bulky head which made the bell tied around his thick neck jingle merrily. “I’ve come to free you. There is a very suspicious bird perched outside, and I feel that he shall not be alone for long.” “Indeed,” Mairon grunted. “Let’s go…”

So, there we have it. The last day. Now for the art!!!

𝒮𝒶𝓊𝓇𝑜𝓃: The word "Sau" means "sow", female pig

𝑀𝑒𝓁𝓀𝑜𝓇: I guess that's just the sound a goat makes...

𝒢𝑜𝓉𝒽𝓂𝑜𝑔: That one is clear and in English :)

𝒮𝒶��𝓊𝓂𝒶𝓃: The word "Kuh" means "cow"

𝑀𝒶��𝓌ë: The word "Hahn" means "cock, rooster"

Am I idiotic? Yes, of course...but it was fun lol

Lots and lots, really, buckets of love from me! This was such a fun event! Thank you for being here with me! 💓💓

-> Masterlist