#scrolling through my dashboard has been entertaining

[xieliansbignaturals]

Half the fandom, seeing E'ming: A baby!!

The other half: hehe penis metaphor

The first half: NO!!

[miru667]

Okay, I've been in the fandom since 2020, so not that long. I've heard about Ed Helms himself finding out about the fandom, and I gotta ask. How was it that faithful day, and how did the fandom react?

Oh yes I was there when it happened! It was a live interview broadcast on Funny or Die where you could send in questions and Ed Helms would scroll through them and answer whichever ones he wanted. The full video has been made private on youtube so it's lost now but I remember him answering stuff like his opinion on Norma x Onceler (he never considered it!) and also someone tried to ask him to sing How Bad Can I Be but he declined (cuz I don't think he would've been allowed to do that for this interview), oh and also a kind soul reminded him to "drink your agua" in the middle of the interview, so he listened and drank some water from his water bottle. The parts where he talked about Oncest, you can listen to here:

Every single post on my dashboard that day was the live reactions to Ed Helms' interview, and most people were freaking out. Disbelief, and also lots of emotions, frustration, sadness, shame, and then a few hours later someone made a post pointing out that hey. It's okay. Ed Helms is a comedian and he knows how to act, so it was very likely that he wasn't personally bothered by the oncest questions and just wanted to answer in an entertaining way. And then I think we calmed down. But to this day a lot of people are still traumatized by it and feel secondhand embarrassment. As for me, I thought it was hilarious!! 😂 I even set that audio clip above as the only file on my blog's playlist because it cheers me up without fail every time I listen.

It also gave us a LOT of fandom memes!! "Go get psychiatric evaluation", "America is in CRISIS", "200 million dollars", "oncest oncest oncest oncest" it was all SO funny, it's been over 10 years and I swear we'll never forget these phrases!! So yeah, I look back on it fondly, thoughhhh I think I may be an odd one out judging by what I hear from my fellow oncelings ahhhh xD thank you Ed Helms for putting up with that interview 🙏

[notsodailykanji]

I've Been Using MaruMori (Comprehensive Japanese Study Platform)

(Long post! Scroll down for pictures and see the link at the bottom if you want to check it out!)

My journey in learning Japanese has been a serious of fortunate accidents, stumbling upon one new tool/website after another. I spent about 18 months learning kanji on WaniKani from 2018-2020, and reached around level 26/60. Perhaps around 600 kanji and 2000 vocabulary words discovered, though not all learned. After taking a break for several years, I returned to Japanese study intermittently in 2022, but more consistently in 2023. WaniKani was useful for me in the sense that it finally provided a way to memorise kanji (through a spaced repetition system), and I am grateful for that. However, there was a problem: my grammar was stuck in beginner-intermediate, around mid N4. All the grammar I had learned in my entire Japanese learning journey up to that point was through two amazing mobile apps, Human Japanese, and Human Japanese Intermediate.

When I finished them both, I had a decent foundation in Japanese grammar, but my kanji and vocabulary knowledge was rapidly outpacing my command of Japanese grammar. I tried Bunpro for a time (a grammar SRS website), but I was already paying for a WK subscription, and I missed the tongue-in-cheek, entertaining walkthrough of Japanese grammar that I found in the Human Japanese series. HJ and HJI was relatable, fun, accessible, and made clear the passion the authors have for the language, which resonated with me as a learner. The HJ series was a beginning to a comprehensive Japanese tool. It taught kanji, vocabulary, and grammar all in one-place, with in-depth explanations, and even did quizzes at the end. Every chapter was concluded by introducing an element of Japanese culture (often food and scenic places).

When I returned to my old Japanese learning platforms, some of my friends told me about a new Japanese learning platform, Maru Mori. It aims to teach kanji, vocabulary and grammar all in one place. The grammar lessons are detailed, thorough, and interesting, having many of the same qualities of HJ and HJI. The website is leaving Beta soon, launching on August 12th, with grammar srs. As of now, N5 is complete, N4 is almost complete, and the site will eventually cover everything up to and including N1. The website will include mock JLPT tests, and eventually, pitch-accent drills as well. I've been using it since March this year, and seen it grow a lot in such a short space of time. See for yourself:

My cute little Maru panda on the Adventure Map, a journey around a scenic map interspersed with kanji, vocab, grammar lessons, reading exercises, and grammar conjugation drills.

The next reading lesson I'll have to complete tomorrow. Furigana toggle, audio, and English translations.

Kanji lesson pages showing mnemonics, and other supplementary information.

Part of the roadmap for Maru Mori (with much more on the way, but you can check the website for that).

What I've shown here in the screenshots is just a slice of what the site offers. Conjugation drills, crossword puzzles, and even wordle:

My Dashboard, showing some cool statistics. Right now I have about 70% of N5 material revised. Soon I'll reach the N4 region and start digging into new grammar. :D

If you made it to the end of this mammoth post, thank you for sticking with me and scrolling this far. I appreciate it. Let's take a moment to talk about why I made this post. My primary motivation is wanting Maru Mori to succeed and grow as a platform, because I truly believe in its potential. So much so, that I purchased a lifetime subscription back in March of this year. I want this website and company to succeed so that I can continue to study Japanese on it, all the way to N1 level. I want this to be the one and only platform I truly need, other than native exposure. In order for that to happen, I'm doing my part by trying to promote Maru Mori where I think it makes sense, when I can. So that it can grow as a company and continue to deliver just as it has in its launch so far. My secondary motivation is because I am passionate about Japanese language learning. I said I would come back to this blog when I found a method of studying Japanese that I could share with my followers (hello, if you're still around!), and for me, this is it. I want more people to try learning Japanese on this platform. I genuinely believe it is unique in its offering, in its potential, and in terms of user enjoyment while learning.

If any of this post has piqued your curiousity, MaruMori has a 14 day free trial, details are on the on-boarding page after you register for an account. You can register for Maru Mori here: https://marumori.io/register?rcode=komorebi

Yes, that is a referral code. Since I have a lifetime subscription already, I don't expect to get any remuneration from you signing up with my link, but I would appreciate it if you did :D

If you check out the site, let me know what you like and what you don't, I'll pass it on to the developer, he's very active in the Discord. (We have a great community which you should totally join!).

Until next time,

[90sloverwithinsomnia]

Warrior's Descendants - Chapter 5/6

This is one of many archived fanfics featuring 1st and 2nd generation K-pop acts that I've come across recently. It's all in good fun, and maybe a bit cringeworthy! Just to clarify, I don't post fanfics, so I hope to the people that post and read K-pop fanfics makes sense. Credits go out to the original creator AuspiciousAutumn. *Note: Nothing in their post will change (unless necessary), other than being posted here, and the (Link) will be provided to the page that i found it on.

This work is suitable for Mature and has a WARNING of Graphic Depictions Of Violence, and draws inspiration from the fandoms of H.O.T.

The story is enriched with themes of Thriller, Abduction, Mystery and has Minor Character Death and Major Character Injury.

Characters:

Ahn Chilhyun (Kangta), Moon Heejoon, An Seungho (Tony), Jang Woohyuk, Lee Jaewon (H.O.T.), Eun Jiwon, Kim Jaeduck, Jang Suwon, Lee Jaijin, Kwon Boa (BoA), Park Jungsoo (Leeteuk), Jung Yunho (DBSK)

Summary:

H.O.T are so close to becoming an active group again, but not everyone is keen with them doing it on their own terms.

Chapter 5 - Outside Castle:

"I'll see you soon, take care of yourself."

   Beep Beep

   "HEEJUN!" Kangta screamed into his phone, before slamming it onto his sofa and burying his head in hands. "No, no, no, no, no..."

   In the course of a few days, Kangta had never experienced such highs and lows since H.O.T's disbandment. He went from feeling excited about their comeback, to terrified at seeing his closest friends disappearing one by one. To add to it, he was constantly being called into meetings about the future direction of SM Entertainment that frustratingly didn't convey any information, and were mostly a waste of his time. It felt like everyone and everything under the sun were against H.O.T. They had thought that they had overcome through every obstacle, but maybe they just weren't meant to be together again?

   Kakao!

   The vocalist scrambled to pick up his phone, praying Heejun was safe and texting him that he was on his way over.

   Eun Jiwon: Suwon is coming to your place to pick you up. We need to talk.

   Kangta: Do you know where Heejun is??

   Eun Jiwon: That's what we need to talk about.

   The idol was about to reply back, when his manager walked into the room. The man looked worn out, and had been on the phone with executives at the company for the last few hours. "Chilhyun..." Unless they were close friends or family, no one called him by his real name unless they were serious about something.

   Kangta gripped his phone tightly in his hand. "What now?"

   "Meeting at SM in half an hour."

   "Alright, let me just text Jiwon," Kangta responded, as he moved towards the door. He assumed that the meeting was going to be about Kangta's safety, as it was pretty clear that he was in danger.

   Kangta: Tell him to come to SM instead. I'm on my way there now.

   Jiwon: Will do.

   As his manager drove, Kangta scrolled through his phone, looking for any updates on Heejun's whereabouts. His manager had just parked when he read a headline that shocked him to his core: SECHSKIES MEMBER INVOLVED IN DEADLY CRASH. AT LEAST ONE DEAD, ONE IN CRITICAL CONDITION. Instead of reading the article, he frantically called Jiwon. He didn't pick up.

   "DAMN IT!" Kangta screamed, slamming his fist against the dashboard. His manager pulled his arms back, and worriedly asked what was going on. But Kangta wasn't able to reply because he was starting to hyperventilate. His manager was patient, though, and eventually managed to get him to calm down. When Kangta's breathing returned to normal, his manager pulled out his phone to call SM and begged for Kangta to be able to skip the meeting. The worn-down idol could tell that the answer was no, so he put his hand on the van's door, and dove out half-running, half-stumbling into the building. His manager chased after him, and together they managed to make it to the meeting on time. His manager patted his arms and wished him good luck, then went to sit down outside of the meeting room.

   "What the hell is going on with you?" BoA hurriedly whispered, as he took his seat next to her. He didn't reply to her, instead he looked at who all were in the room. There was Lee Sooman, the CEO, Yoo Youngjin, the members of the executive board, a bunch of heads of different departments, Yunho, Leeteuk, Onew, Taeyeon, Baekhyun, and an older man whom Kangta had never met before.

   BoA kicked his leg under the table to get his attention, "Chilhyun, seriously, tell me what's going on. I keep seeing news about the members of H.O.T disappearing, are you in danger?"

   He nodded, but before he could say anymore, Lee Sooman called for the meeting to start. "Now, I know there's been a lot of buzz in the industry over the tragic events that have transpired recently," Kangta sat up straighter in his chair and gave the founder his full attention. "However, today I would like to talk about the exciting future of our company. Mr. Kim, would you please do the honors?"

   Kangta's and BoA's mouth dropped in disbelief, as a man neither of them knew stood up and started his presentation with a smile. He was middle-aged and balding, but dressed rather sharply.

   "SM Entertainment has been the cornerstone of K-Pop for decades. However, while it's good to focus on the future, we should also be promoting the past. Even though the concept of using a museum to preserve the past is undoubtedly a good idea, many people felt that the SMTown museum was lacking, and I couldn't agree more." Kangta felt like ice had engulfed his chest. On the screen was a picture of H.O.T at their last reunion concert. "SM first innovated with this group..." The man went on and on talking about H.O.T's accomplishments, but Kangta couldn't help but wonder where this was going. This wasn't the first time they had been referenced by someone who wanted to name drop the group for some stupid scheme that had nothing to do with them. "And they are once again about to make history with SM Entertainment at the helm." What?

   The slide changed to show the sixth album's artwork that Kangta had paid good money for. It was supposed to play off of the artwork H.O.T had used when they weren't allowed to use their logo for their reunion concerts. They took the image of the members' outlines and added wings in white amongst a black background. The words "Warrior's Descendants" were written at their feet in English. However, there was one thing about the image that shocked him: at one corner was the SM logo.

   Kangta stood up so quickly, he knocked his chair over. "What are you talking about?" He pointed at the company logo. "H.O.T isn't producing this album under SM!" The rest of the idols in the room turned to look at Mr. Kim, their CEO, and Lee Sooman in shock. "The masters of our our old albums are still property of SM, but this one is being made entirely at Tony's company!" Lee Sooman looked away and took a drink of water. Mr. Kim just continued to smile brightly. "Ah, but that's why you're here today! H.O.T is going to be a part of a new campaign."

   A new slide came on the screen with the title: THE IDOL RE-ACQUISITION PROGRAM

 �� Mr. Kim pointed to the title. "H.O.T is going to be the first group to reform under the company they debuted under. After speaking with heads of other companies, I expect that DSP will take Sechskies back soon after. We're going to allow H.O.T's sixth album to be released, so as to please the public, then let them go on tour around the country. Once we made our money back with them, we're going to be pursuing the members of JYJ-" Yunho gasped at this, and dropped something on the floor. "And eventually retrieve all of those whom used to be under this company. And of course, for those who have passed away, we're going to be figuring out who to put in their place." Onew knocked over his water and started shaking in his seat.

   "We didn't agree to this!" Kangta shouted. Lee Sooman looked up at him, "Chilhyun, sit down. You're being rude."

   The idol looked at his long-time boss incredulously. "I'm being rude? NONE of the members have expressed interest in returning after they left, and you know that. Also, if any of you have watched the news since yesterday, you'd know that H.O.T isn't going to be performing at all anytime soon."

   Mr. Kim's smile didn't fade at all. "Oh, don't worry about them. They'll be back in our practice rooms soon."

  "No, they won't!" Kangta seethed. "Unless you know where they are, you need to drop this idea entirely."

   Mr. Kim moved around the table towards Kangta. "Chilhyun, don't worry about them. They're just settling in at their new dorm."

   "New dorm!?" Kangta gasped. "They haven't even signed a contract!"

   The man stopped in front of the idol. "Contracts are just a formality at SM, you should know that. If we want an idol to sign a contract, and they don't agree to do it on SM's terms, they don't sing. That's how it works here."

   Kangta refused to stand down. "How would you know how things work around here?"

   "I'm the new owner."

    The idols in the room gasped, but Mr. Kim wasn't done. He turned to the line of idols who were sitting together. "You all signed contracts to work here. You are all leaders of groups who have had people leave. Except for Baekhyun, as your leader is in the military right now, I have chosen you to be acting in his place. Either convince your wayward members to come on their own, or I will. Obviously BoA, you've never been in a group, so your presence here was merely requested because you're a directly. But for right now, you're all dismissed. I wish to speak to Mr. Ahn alone."

    People started getting up and leaving. BoA and Yunho hesitated, but they were shooed out as well. The door closed after the last person left. It was just Mr. Kim and Kangta now.

   "What the hell gave you the idea that something so evil would be okay!?"

   Mr. Kim turned to look back at Kangta. "Because every other 'evil' idea has been. Sure, SM lost whenever it was taken to court, but you and I both know that most of the things idols experience here will never make it to court and can't be proven."

   "You're right, there are a lot of times when terrible events have happened here. Some of which, I was complicit in because I thought things would turn out okay in the end, but then I came to regret my decisions," Kangta looked up at his new boss in defiance. "But, I'm done with trying to keep the peace for the sake of H.O.T. If this is what playing nice leads to, then I'm going to fight until my last breath to make sure it doesn't happen."

   Mr. Kim didn't move for a moment, but then he moved towards Kangta. "Have it your way." The older man lunged at Kangta, but the idol scrambled away from him. He moved to the other side of the table almost facing the door, when Mr. Kim pulled out a handgun. Kangta ducked under the table.

   BANG!

   He had to get out. If he stayed and just tried to hide, he wouldn't make it out alive. Kangta crawled towards the door.

   BANG!

   The vocalist covered his head, as debris from broken glass fell on him. The door slammed open.

    "KANGTA!"

    BANG!

   The idol looked up to see his manager on the floor. Shit. He had to get out of here. The vocalist was almost at the door.

   BANG!

   The bullet missed him, but he saw a security guard fall to the ground with his face covered in blood.

   "DON'T MOVE!" The idol felt a foot slam down on his back. "You move, I'll shoot you!"

    "Is that what you told my friends!?" Kangta shouted. "Is that what you told Jaewon, Woohyuk, Tony, and Heejun!?"

   "No, I actually don't know what was said to them," Mr. Kim laughed. "I hired a few men and told them to get them here by whatever means they chose. You however-" He stomped on Kangta's spine. "Were supposed to say, 'Thank you, Mr. Kim! It's such an honour that you want to make my washed-up 90s boy band relevant again.'"

   Even though Kangta was well-aware that this man was armed, he felt rage. Not anger, no this was something he had never felt before. It felt as if his whole chest was holding in magma and it was about to spew out of his mouth to burn everything in its path. "FUCK YOU!" The vocalist used all of his strength to force his arm muscles up, and caused Mr. Kim to be unbalanced and fall over.

   Kangta kicked him, but the man grabbed his leg raised it over his head, so that Kangta fell into the table and smashed his head on a corner of the surface. Seeing his chance, Mr. Kim sat up and quickly moved to wrap his hands around Kangta's throat. The idol clawed at the man, but it didn't do any good.

   He couldn't breathe.

   He was losing consciousness.

   Mr. Kim didn't stop.

   Kangta lost.

   "Finally, my collection is complete."

[dashboarddiaries]

Dashboard Diaries is a production of Atypical Artists, hosted by Lauren Shippen (@thelaurenshippen) and Cher McAnelly (@overchers).

Our theme was composed by Lauren Shippen and mixed by Brandon Grugle. Art by Shae McMullin. Transcription by Laudable.

For bonus clips, ad-free episodes, and more, become a pal at atypicalartists.co/support.

[intro music]

Cher: Hello, Shippers! I’m Cher McAnelly, Head of Entertainment at Tumblr. And person who ships everyone, including people she knows. So far, resulting in two marriages!

Lauren: That’s pretty good. That’s impressive. 

Cher: Thank you very much. I’m pretty proud of it. You know? I hope that I ship many more people in real life. So, look ...

Lauren: If you wanna get married ...

Cher: I don’t know where I’m going with that. Look, if you wanna get married-

Lauren: Become Cher’s friend!

Cher: Maybe should we do blog-match-making? Anyone wanna?

Lauren: Oh, that’s actually a very fun idea! 

(laughter)

And ... I’m Lauren Shippen, Professional Writer, who has “shippen” in her DNA!

Cher: Ohhh ... my .... gosh!

Lauren: I had to make a shippen joke. 

Cher: Very excited about that. Wow. Can’t believe ... I didn’t even expect ... even though I’ve made that joke multiple times I was like ... 

Lauren: I don’t think I’ve ever made that joke.

Cher: ... it got me.

Lauren: So, I feel proud of myself. 

Cher: And this is Dashboard Diaries, a podcast for you – the folks who are in this internet bunker with us. We talk about what’s going on in our favorite hell site, get into what we like to call “tumbl-lore,” do fandom deep dives, and share the times when we’ve gone feral over a new ship.

Or ... in the case of today’s episode, perhaps an obscure ship, un under-rated ship, a new ship ...

Lauren: Yep, yep.

Cher: So, Lauren, how has your last month been on Tumblr since last time we chatted?

Lauren: Yeah, it’s been good. I was sort of looking through my recent likes to sort of see ... I have a sort of system in place when I’m scrolling on desktop I just immediately queue things I want to queue. But if I’m scrolling on my phone, let’s be honest, while I’m lying in bed trying to go to sleep I’ll like things and then once a week I’ll sort of go through my likes and queue everything. It’s a real system. But anyway ...

I was looking through my recent likes and 911 is coming back in March. Basically, exactly a month. And so it’s like the 911 activity on my dash has started to pick up. And its new season, new network, it’s a shorter season because of the strike. I’m very excited. There’s a huge cruise ship disaster to kick off the season. 911 is like my one network show basically at this point. I love it dearly. So, there’s been just a lot of 911 in my life on my dash recently.

Then the other thing that popped up this week was ... and I’ll be sure to re-blog this to DashboardDiaries.Tumblr.com ... was this old post of a screenshot of someone’s dashboard and the dashboard is from like two- ... when did Tumblr’s mobile app come out? 

Cher: That is a good question. I want to say 2010 but that is an arbitrary year that-

Lauren: That sounds ...

Cher: ... my brain is making up.

Lauren: I’m texting you this, because it was in my likes. But look at the glory of this. It’s a screenshot from a probably 2010 mobile dashboard. 

Cher: Yeah, 2009 on iOs in 2010 on Blackberry. 

Lauren: There you go. Oh my god, on Blackberry ... (laughter) For our younger listeners, Blackberry used to be the alternative to the iPhone basically. Or not even ... it was the alternative to a Palm Pilot. Do you remember Palm Pilot?

Cher: Yeah. A Palm Pilot or a Sidekick or Razor.

Lauren: Oh, the Sidekick. I always wanted a Sidekick so bad. Or a Razor.

Cher: I wanted one so badly. I had a Razor. I had a hot pink Razor.

Lauren: Ohh, the hot pink Razor was THE thing. Anyway, I just really feel like we’re getting into a stage with Tumblr with how old it is and for me personally with how long I’ve been on Tumblr that there’s just now even more Tumblr nostalgia sort of coming through. So, that’s been fun to sort of start off the year with – just looking at a 2010 dashboard and being like, oh my god, I don’t even recognize this dashboard configuration because I don’t think I got the mobile app for Tumblr until probably 2015. I still am in the 98% of the time a desktop user. Only really in the past two years have I become a mobile user. 

Anyway, that’s been my last month on Tumblr. What have you been up to?

Cher: I mean, first off, love that 911 is starting on shipping, too – just a different kind ...

(laughter)

Tee hee.

And then also I love that one of the things you brought up was when we launched the mobile app in the OG dashboard. Because this month is Tumblr’s birthday. So, yeah, Tumblr ... we were just chatting about this in a meeting how the date of Tumblr’s birthday seems to change every year when we get new information. Because it kind of depends on your perspective.

Lauren: Yeah, what do you count?

Cher: Was it when it first launched to a small group or to the public? Or whatever it is. So, this year we’re going with the 19th as the birthday. And so anyway, yeah, I love that. I love looking back at all the OG dashboards and stuff. Definitely a good time to be looking back.

And then for the last month on Tumblr I mean obviously with the Superb Owl happening for all of our What We Do in The Shadows fans, always a fun night on Tumblr. Because we love sports, famously. 

Lauren: Absolutely. Tumblr is a big sports place. 

Cher: Also, on the topic of ships, we came up with a ships list a couple of weeks ago. I’m going to drop it into our little chat. And I thought it would be fun to do a poll on the entertainment Tumblr to see which of the top ships is the most popular, is taking up the most mental space at the moment.

So, first-

Lauren: Fascinating.

Cher: ... in want to show you this poll. I want to make sure that what I’m linking you is the poll without the results, because I really want you to guess. I really, really want you to guess.

Lauren: Ooh. Okay, yeah.

Cher: I really want you to guess which one, because one of these ... there were 12 options. And there’s one winner that got 55%.

Lauren: Interesting. INTERESTING.

Cher: So, I really want you ... 

Lauren: That’s a real quorum. 

Cher: I know. I was shocked. Really, I’m very excited to see what you think the one that won is. For all of our listeners here, I’m going to quickly run through the ship options in the list. 

First one – Hazbin Hotel, Huskerdust

Second one – Percy Jackson, Percabeth

Third one – Good Omens, Ineffable Husbands

Fourth one – Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonadow

Fifth one – Hazbin Hotel, Chaggie

Sixth one – Satosugu, Jujutsu Kaisen

Seventh one – Hannigram 

Eighth one – One Piece, Zosan

Ninth one – Hazbin Hotel, Radioapple

And then there were three options ...

One was another ship on the full list, a ship that isn’t on the top ships list, which is of 20, and then another one that was a fleet of ships sails on the sea of my mind, I cannot choose only one. 

(laughter)

Which I was really laughing at myself for. 

Lauren: I love that.

Cher: Anyway ... which one do you think, Lauren, got that 55%?

Lauren: I mean, part of me thinks that it’s a fleet of ships sail on my mind.

(laughter)

But if we’re going off of those ships ... I mean, I think it would be Ineffable Husbands. I think that would be the winning ship of that bunch. 

Cher: Mm hmm. Yeah.

Lauren: What was it?

Cher: Surprisingly, that’s not what it is. And, oh, actually I was wrong. Actually, the winner got 58.5% of the vote.

Lauren: Oh my god.

Cher: And, oh my gosh, wait! At this moment I just realized, Lauren ... Shoot! This isn’t the ... the poll is not done. It has a day and two hours left! 

Lauren: Oh my goodness! Okay. I’m voting for Hannahgram. I’m sorry!

(laughter)

Okay, yeah, I never ever would have guessed this. So, the winning ship by an enormous margin, as you said, is Sonic and Shadow from Sonic the Hedgehog. What happened? 

Cher: I have no idea. If you look at the notes, they’re all “Sonadow supremacy, rise up”

Lauren: Sonadow sweep.

(laughter)

OH MY GOD. This is incredible. 

Cher: Tumblr continues to surprise. I love this chaotic platform. It’s amazing.

Lauren: Oh, that’s so good. Also, this is a poll and a ship list that actually brings up something about my last month on Tumblr that I forgot about. And that I would love to get your take on.

Cher: Yes?

Lauren: Which is ... what the fuck is Hazbin Hotel!? And why is it all of a sudden everywhere!?

Cher: Okay. So, Hazbin Hotel is a new Amazon MGM Studios animated series.

Lauren: Okay.

Cher: The plot of it, if I’m not mistaken, which I might be vaguely incorrect is essentially the daughter of Lucifer has opened a hotel for wayward souls to try to get into Heaven. 

Lauren: That’s fun.

Cher: So, demons and things. And so there’s obviously just a wide range of shipping happening.

Lauren: Of course.

Cher: And it really feels like it happened, like this show blew up overnight. Suddenly, Hazbin Hotel was everywhere. I haven’t had a chance to watch it yet. I need to, because obviously it’s taking over the Tumblr platform. Which is really exciting to see a brand new show with a completely ... and also Tumblr does love Hell and demons.

Lauren: It’s so true. 

Cher: It’s exciting to see it really take off, a brand new show take off on platform. I think Hazbin Hotel will be a big one for a while.

Lauren: I didn’t know that it was a show. I thought it was a dating SIM or a JRPG. I thought it was a video game for some reason. I don’t know why.

Cher: Because it really does feel like ... oftentimes we at least kind of hear about shows [crosstalk 00:10:25] before they come out and overtake the platform. Or they kind of get big later in season one or around season two. This is a show that came out ... season one I don’t think is even done with new episodes at the moment. Or it has just finished and it’s huge.

Lauren: That’s incredible. 

Cher: So, yeah, super excited to see. On the topic of Hazbin Hotel and just a lot of amazing ships and a lot of chaotic ships and everywhere in between. The ships list is 4/20 Hazbin Hotel, pretty much every week at the moment. So, our topic this week is our pitches for slept on ships. So, Lauren and I have both brought some ships today that we think really should have more of a role in the Tumblr zeitgeist or conversation. We want more fic. We want more conversation. Or any, depending on what we’re bringing. 

Lauren: Right. True.

Cher: So, Lauren, what have you brought today? Which slept on ship or fleet of ships?

Lauren: Yeah, I think we each brought three ships. I didn’t write my other two down, really, but yeah, so start off ... I’m going to start off with the newest one which is what I’m calling the Monarch Founder Polycule. And this is from the Apple TV show, Monarch: Legacy of Monsters. And just like a general sort of blanket spoiler for this show ... I’ll try to stay away from too many spoilers but in order to really describe the ship I need to get into it a little bit.

So, Monarch: Legacy of Monsters ... Have you watched this show?

Cher: I watched the first episode and I’ve seen pretty much all if not most of the other monster films leading up.

Lauren: Got you. Great.

Cher: But I haven’t gotten into this one yet. But I know kind of where it starts, the main characters, and the main monsters so far. I’m sure there are some new ones.

Lauren: There’s a monster every episode, which is awesome. So, yes. This TV show is pretty much the first TV show within the world of Godzilla that’s been built over the last couple of years through ... I’m forgetting what studio it is ... but anyway, whoever owns Godzilla currently. 

It takes place in two different timelines. There’s a 1950s timeline and a 2014 timeline. And the 1950s timeline is about the three people who found Monarch. Monarch is the company that tracks the Titans and studies them and fights against them and stuff. In the modern age they’re kind of a sketchy government organization. They’re sort of good guys, but they’re sort of not. Yeah, there’s a lot to do with Monarch. The show is obviously called Monarch: Legacy of Monsters. It’s about the legacy of Monarch and kind of the family that started it and then their next generation and the generation after that, which is the modern day.

There are a couple of ships in the show that are canon or are headed that way. Including a queer female ship in the modern day that’s really lovely and complex because of various things I won’t spoil. But I really love the three founders. 

Cher: I love that you listed them out by descriptors but not by names. So Tumblr of you, honestly.

Lauren: Yes. In my notes I said there’s one pretty blonde dude in uniform, one kickass smart hot woman, one goofy green bean. Because that’s my pitch for why Tumblr would like these people. The blonde hot guy in uniform is Lee Shaw, played by Wyatt Russell who is Kurt Russell’s real life son. And Kurt Russell plays the older version of Lee Shaw in the modern era. So, it’s very cute because it’s like his son is playing the younger version of him. It’s great.

Yeah, Keiko is the hot, smart woman. She’s the scientist that is studying these anomalies and then Lee is the person who is tasked with protecting her. He’s in the Army and I forget exactly specifically where they are but they are on an island in the Pacific. She is going out to do this study and he is kind of like literally her body guard. So, already we’re getting into good tropes, right? They’ve got sort of some flirty banter and he’s sort of the uptight Army type and she is the adventurous, “Let’s go out and do this thing.” And then they run into the goofy, green bean who is Bill Randa who is played by John Goodman in Skull Island. So, it’s like a young Bill Randa. And he is a crypto zoologist and he’s just a fucking nerd. (laughs) And kind of very Mulder, right? Believes in these really wacky things. 

The three of them end up teaming up and founding Monarch. Their dynamic is so ... the very first scene that you see with them is a few years after they founded Monarch and stuff and they’re going out to find this monster. And this is where I’m going to get into one of the big spoilers, but it does happen in the first episode. They go out and they find this monster and Keiko ends up dying. And so then it’s just the two of them left alone basically without her. But just the first scene of them in the car I’m like, oh, these three people are married. 

Kei and Bill are married actually in the show. And then Lee is their guy. And after she dies Bill and Lee basically raise her son together. And so it’s like there’s all of this ... and Kei and Lee kiss at one point. There is genuinely a real love triangle except there’s no jealousy between any of them. So, I’m like the three of you just need to be together. Then there’s a bunch of other really crazy stuff that happens. And it’s so tragic. It’s such a doomed romance for so many reasons. A classic thing of these three people had a brief period of time where they were all together and right for each other at the right time of their life. And it’s just passing ships the rest of their lives in a really heartbreaking way.

So, that is my pitch for the Monarch Founder Polycule, because it’s like these three Tumblr character types that Tumblr loves, it’s a throuple, it’s got some tragic and amazing fix-it potential, right? I want to get out and read fix-it fics where things aren’t tragic. And there’s co-parenting. There’s generational trauma. It’s just delicious. 

Cher: I mean, it checks so many boxes. I’m immediately sold on the ship. Convinced.

Lauren: What’s crazy is the show is not necessarily half and half, like the founders and the modern day. It is probably 60-70% modern day and 30-40% founders. But I want a show of us them. I love them so much, the dynamics are so good, the actors are so good together, it’s just great. Highly recommend.

Cher: We love a prequel. 

Lauren: We love a prequel. You know? We love knowing ... because also we know what happens to John Goodman in Skull Island, so we know what happens to Bill, too. And it’s like the reveal of what happens to Lee and why he is the way that he is all these years later is like so terrible and so good! So yeah, Cher, I hope you have a ship that maybe isn’t so tragic. what’s your first pitch?

Cher: So, my first pitch is a ship that I thought was completely original and no one had thought of, but why would I ever think that? This is Tumblr. It’s from Lord of the Rings, Gigolas. Which is Gimli and Legolas. I feel like this is a great ship for many reasons. First off, they’re not full on enemies, but the elves and the dwarves definitely kind of like yeah there’s some animosity there. So, there’s some enemies to lovers. There’s some opposites attract. Also, the banter. The consistent banter. They both have some of the best lines and some of the best looks in that entire film. Or series. Trilogy. More than that, whatever it is ... yeah. Books ... you know what I mean. Anyway ... 

All together I love their banter! I love their dynamic. I love their relationship. I feel like they’re meant for each other. And apparently Tumblr feels the same. Because I went and searched Legolas X Gimli and got ... found out that there are 5.4 thousand followers of the tag.

Lauren: That’s a lot!

Cher: Right?

Lauren: That’s not a little, that’s a lot!

Cher: That’s a substantial amount of people. And there was obviously some fan art, which we will re-blog. And so just all together I just love this as a ship. And I’m so glad that Tumblr felt the same. It’s still kind of obscure, I guess, because 5.4K compared to the size of some other ships. But the fact that ... it’s robust, there’s a community. 

Lauren: Oh yeah. I mean, I actually personally follow a bunch of people who are big Gigolas shippers so it’s ... the quality of the content coming from the shippers is great. 

Cher: I’m honestly surprised. I don’t know why I thought I was being so original when Lord of the Rings is so hugely popular and obviously Tumblr loves to ship side characters. You know? 

Lauren: Yeah, but I love that you were on Tumblr’s wavelength. 

Cher: You know what? You’re so right. Yeah. Right there with them. I should work there or something.

(laughter)

Anyway ... what else do you have? What other two surprise ships?

Lauren: Yeah. So, working backwards in sort of newness, one of the ships that I got really into last year that then I also got my sister really into, which always feels like a victory because she and I don’t necessarily always ship the same things. But we like a lot of the same TV shows. But I tend to I don’t know be more of an active shipper than she is. But I got her super into this ship and I feel really vindicated for that. NACE, Nancy and Ace from the CW television series, Nancy Drew, which I watched all of in a very short amount of time in the summer of last year. (laughs)

It is delightful, first of all. And has a really wonderful found family friendship dynamic between sort of the Nancy Drew crew, right? But in this modern adaptation of Nancy Drew, Nancy works at this restaurant and the dishwasher line cook guy, Ace, who she has known for a long time, but they’ve never really clicked is sort of in her orbit and then this crazy stuff happens and they end up teaming up and stuff. It’s just an amazing friends to lovers story that also has ... because of Supernatural things that happen in the show because it’s Nancy Drew but also with Supernatural elements, there’s a forbidden love aspect to it. There’s so much pining! So much pining. 

And it has that element that I love in ships which is a completely incredibly competent but slightly insane woman and the guy who is just absolutely devoted to her. (laughs) And will follow her off the edge of a cliff. 

Cher: I love that dynamic. (laughs)

Lauren: It’s so good. Have you seen any of the show? Have you heard anything about the show? There is a Tumblr fandom, but it’s very small. 

Cher: I have not seen the show. I am familiar with the show. I am familiar with the show because when I watched Riverdale, which I think I stopped maybe three or four seasons ago ... when I watched it right around the time Nancy Drew was coming out they did some crossover episodes to do some Nancy Drew promotion. 

Lauren: A-ha! Interesting.

Cher: Veronica goes into the city and gets drinks with Nancy Drew and chats. 

Lauren: Oh my god!

Cher: So, that’s what I know. I’m also obviously super familiar with the Nancy Drew ... I read the Nancy Drew books growing up. 

Lauren: Same.

Cher: Subject matter is super familiar. I was not aware that they introduced Supernatural elements, but knowing what I know of Riversdale I’m not surprised that they are the same universe. So ...

Lauren: It doesn’t go quite as crazy as Riverdale goes. (laughter) 

Cher: I mean I feel like I need to watch-

Lauren: ... but nothing could.

Cher: ... the final season just to really fully comprehend it. Because I’ve heard so much but also feel like I can imagine it so little because it’s so wild. I stopped around the baby levitating time.

Lauren: Same! That’s about when I stopped, too. Yeah. 

Cher: I was like okay ... 

Lauren: All right .... 

Cher: Um, I don’t ... But apparently it ends with a lot more ... everyone’s different supernatural creatures and they’re in a polycule?

Lauren: Yeah. And I remember seeing a post once that was like, “I can’t believe this season of Riverdale ended with them sacrificing Archie in the woods and cutting his heart out.” And I was like, ha ha, funny post. But I am curious to look it up. Then I was like, oh no, this is real! That’s something they did. They cut out Archie’s heart in the forest. Okay.

Cher: Okay. 

Lauren: He gets better!

Cher: Of course he does. He gets better. With heartburn, amiright?

Lauren: Tee hee.

Cher: I really now want to go through Riverdale text posts and see which ones are-

Lauren: Just shitpost and which ones are ...

Cher: ... shitposts and which ones aren’t. I just feel like that’s just ... it’s got to be really challenging.

Lauren: Yeah. Oh, that could be a fun quiz for us.

Cher: That would be a really fun quiz. I mean, it would also be super easy to do just via re-blogs because you could just re-add a poll in the re-blog and say true or false. 

Lauren: That’s true. Oh great idea. I love that.

Cher: That would be a fun little thing.

Lauren: All right, what next ship do you have for me?

Cher: Okay. Up next, I have a ship that I searched and I do actually think it is obscure. And it’s a new ... we’re doing an answer time for the new Avatar: The Last Airbender. The Netflix live action series that is coming out on the 22nd. And so because of that I’ve been doing a lot of preparing, a lot of watching to prep for the interview. And so my ship is an Avatar: The Last Airbender ship. I came up with two names for it. Either Mopa or Apomo? 

It’s Appa and Momo. If you aren’t familiar with Avatar: The Last Airbender as a story and who these characters are ... first off, Avatar: The Last Airbender TLDR there are four nations in this world. Each nation is kind of centered around an element: earth, air, fire, water. In these nations there are people who have powers to bend those elements. They’re called airbenders, waterbenders, etc. In this world, an avatar is born and re-born into one of these nations pretty much on a consistent loop. There’s always an avatar and they’re always kind of coming. They’re the ones who can master all four of the elements. 

So, Avatar: The Last Airbender is the story of the last airbender who is also the avatar and essentially it’s their journey because they’re obviously being chased for being the avatar. It’s very kind of reminiscent I feel like of Circle of Time, Wheel of Time. 

Lauren: Oh yeah!

Cher: There’s a lot of alignments I’m seeing as I’m talking about this. 

Lauren: I totally see that.

Cher: There are some interesting aligned components there. Very chosen one centered story. I’m really enjoying ... no wonder that it’s huge on Tumblr. Started as an anime, it was a Nickelodeon show, they made a film years ago and ... they think people had notes ... and now there’s a Netflix live action series coming out.

So, anyway, Oppa and Momo are two of the animal sidekicks in Avatar. 

Lauren: Amazing!

Cher: So, Oppa is this giant kind of flying fuzzy creature that is the avatar’s best friend and little animal sidekick. I feel like it’s a flying water buffalo would be a good way to describe it maybe. Or one of those fluffy cows. But it has six legs. So, it’s huge. So, Oppa and then Momo is a little creature/spirit that kind of has really big ears that it can fly around with and it’s a tiny little guy that you can fit into your little bag. They’re friends and they’re cute little sidekicks and I just feel like opposites attract in terms of one being really big and one being really small. But they’re still fuzzy cute little guys who fly around and they’re always around each other. So, why not? 

My biggest pitch here is, look, Donkey and Dragon from Shrek vibes. 

Lauren: That’s a very strong pitch.

Cher: Need I say more? And what’s your final ship, Lauren?

Lauren: I love that. I did not see an animal sidekick ship coming. I think that definitely counts for most obscure. I think that’s awesome. 

Cher: Thank you very much. I try.

Lauren: We need more of that. 

Cher: We should also do a quiz on the Dashboard Diaries Tumblr with each of the ships that we pitch on this episode!

Lauren: Yes. That’s a perfect idea. I love that. So, my final ship is ... I think definitely, yeah, the most obscure in some ways, simply because I think, yeah, the show is subtitled which we talked about before and also I’m at the point with this particular ship where I feel like I actually have re-blogged every single post about them that exists on Tumblr. We’re kind of at that threshold, so a thank you to the people who have made gif sets of these two. 

Cher: So, you’re like, please, can we expand?

Lauren: Can we please expand? Exactly! That’s actually a perfect segue into The Expanse which is the show that I’m talking about. 

Cher: I did not even realize! Ohhhh!

Lauren: Let’s expand The Expanse, right?

Cher: Tee hee.

Lauren: Tee hee. So, yeah. You guys have heard me talk about The Expanse before. I think we are going to do a pitch each other shows that Tumblr should love. So, I’m not going to get too far into the show. It is a sci fi, in space, Amazon series that ran for five seasons I want to say, five or six seasons, I’m forgetting exactly how much. And one of the central characters in it is a character named Amos Burton. I’m just going to read this post that I’ll make sure to re-blog that I think just perfectly encapsulates who he is and why Tumblr should love him.

So, this is from SpursThatJingleJangleJingle, which is a great Tumblr name. Thank you. And it reads, “Amos Burton is what everyone wants their big, buff military men to be, tbh. He knows how to walk in heels. He’s deeply and unapologetically violent. He’s good with kids. He finds people he trusts and sticks next to them like their lapdog pit bull that’s ready to tear out throats on a moment’s notice. He’s a mama’s boy. His sexuality is ‘I ain’t reading all those labels,’ ‘good for you,’ or ‘I’m sorry that happened.’ He’s drawn to found family sisters like a moth to flame. Whenever he is treated with genuine kindness he looks like a deer in headlights. He’s great.” 

That just perfectly describes Amos. (laughs)

Cher: Absolutely. I love that. I love the juxtaposition of all of those descriptors. Amazing.

Lauren: He’s incredible. Orphaned, former sex worker, turned mechanic / muscle of what are essentially fugitive group for the first couple of seasons that then become the most important people in the universe. And his whole story line is about him regaining a lot of the humanity that he lost in his childhood and in his very tragic back-story. And yeah, even the creators of The Expanse have said that his sexuality is just “yes.” He’s just that guy. 

His best friend in the whole world, that is once again textual, he calls him his “best friend in the whole world,” is Prax Meng who is a guy that they sort of pick up after there’s this attack on the planet Ganymede. Prax is a botanist. In the collapse of Ganymede he loses track of his daughter and then the crew of the Rocinante, the sort of main crew, helps him find his daughter.

Prax, he’s not equipped for this crazy life in space. He is plant guy who is a single dad. And he just is thrown into this world of aliens and war and this crazy stuff. And Amos is the guy who teaches him kind of how to take care of himself and protects him. And there is an amazing moment when ... Amos has a thing about kids because of the way that he grew up where he’s like absurdly protective of children. And so when they’re looking for Prax’s daughter he ends up almost beating this guy to death who they think has information. And Prax is the only one of the group to actually stop him successfully. It’s just so ... and there’s a whole thing when they actually find Prax’s daughter that if I speak ... it’s such a great sort of gentle and tough guy ship. And just found family. Adoptive parent type of situation. The way that he is with Nay, the daughter, is so sweet. 

Yeah, there’s just something about Prax who is so protective of his daughter who also has this genetic illness, who just immediately trusts Amos with her, it absolutely shatters my heart. I love it so much! It’s so good.

Cher: Please, people. 

Lauren: Please. Post more [crosstalk 00:32:12]

Cher: My last ship is from What We Do In The Shadows. I have been calling it the Guide Robinson. It is Collin Robinson and the Guide. If you are listening and are not familiar with What We Do In The Shadows and the individual characters and their personalities, Collin Robinson is an energy vampire. So, he sucks the energy out of people like as his vibe. Very Dwight in The Office coded I would say in a lot of ways, with less personality or maybe more of a flat personality. 

Then the Guide played by Christian Shaw is this centuries old vampire with mystical powers who has a lot of power in the What We Do In The Shadows universe or in the vampire world, technically. But no one listens to her. And she’s just kind of very awkward and has trouble making friends and really wants to fit in but struggles with it. And I just think that Collin Robinson and the Guide would balance each other out in a lot of special ways. And I don’t know, I think they might be meant for each other. I think this is something that maybe ... I don’t know if it’s been considered at all, but I’m very ... honestly, the more I’m talking about it, the more I am very pro this.

Collin The Guide Robinson. 

Lauren: I love it.

Cher: Also very proud of the ship name.

Lauren: It’s a good ship name. It sounds like its own sort of thing. It’s very cool. I love that. I do love that it’s ... there are those ships where it’s just like, it’s just instinctual. These people just belong together, and I can’t ... there’s not more that you need, right? It’s just that good instinct. 

Cher: I always forget ... do you watch What We Do In The Shadows?

Lauren: You know, I haven’t yet. I need to. 

Cher: Okay. I feel like this is the show I’m going to have to pitch to you. Because oh my god, I love it. It’s so good. 

Lauren: I love that.

Cher: You would love it. 

Lauren: Yeah, I’m sure I would. I just for some reason haven’t gotten around to it. I don’t know why. 

Cher: Well, it’s so exciting that you get to see it for the first time whenever you do. 

Lauren: That’s true. That is always such a delight. 

Cher: So much fun talking about ships. Love it. I feel like ships really are the ... gosh, I was trying to think of a ship related pun. They sail through the dashboard, I don’t know ... 

Lauren: Ships are really the wind beneath our sails.

Cher: Thank you!

Lauren: As art consumers. 

Cher: Oh my gosh. Lauren! What would I do without you? Thank you so much. Anyway ... 

[guitar riff]

Onto our next segment, Dashboard Confessionals. Where we take a look into our archives and see what we were posting about this time however many years ago. So, what do you have for us this week, Lauren?

Lauren: Yeah, so on February 13th, 2015 ... so nine years ago! Good lord. This is just a classic Tumblr post that made me smile. It’s just a photo of Lenny Kravitz wearing an absolutely fucking enormous scarf. (laughs) It’s just ... I don’t know the origin of this photo, because I assume that it’s photoshopped. I’m fairly certain that it’s a fake photo of Lenny Kravitz wearing a huge scarf. I don’t know why. I don’t know what spurred MySharona1987 to make this post. But I do love it. (laughs) 

Cher: But we do thank you.

Lauren: Yes. We do thank you. Thank you for your work. Yeah, a very simple and silly one this week. What about you? What’s in your archives?

Cher: Love it. So, in typical me fashion couldn’t pick just one. So, I picked two. The first one is from February 19, 2017. It’s a post that David Carp, the Founder of Tumblr, posted in Slack. And he just tagged himself in Slack and said @David. And then everyone responded to David tagging himself with the emoji of himself. And then I posted it on Tumblr tagging @David’s Tumblr.

Lauren: That’s very good.

Cher: David did this because it was a bit or a thing to do in the Tumblr full team Slack when David was CEO to put in the @channel @David to tag everyone in the company and then tag the CEO. A few people would do this. It did eventually ... HR was eventually like, “You can’t ...”

Lauren: You have to stop.

Cher: You can’t, you need to stop doing this. But yeah. Before we were fairly and validly stopped from notifying the entire company and its founder and CEO on a regular basis for no reason, David did post @David in the Slack and it was a big day. It was an exciting day for everyone involved.

Lauren: Incredible. I love it.

Cher: Yeah. The other one is really short and sweet, self explanatory. It is my yearbook photo from 2005. (laughs)

Lauren: Look at you! You’re so cute! 

Cher: I am wearing a navy blue flowery polo shirt and a navy blue pooka shell necklace to really accentuate the polo shirt. And of course it’s [crosstalk 00:37:31]

Lauren: A perfect 2005 outfit. Absolutely impeccable. 

Cher: Definitely from Limited Too. 

Lauren: Yes! Yes! That’s amazing. 

Cher: With that, what has you in your feels this week, Lauren?

[gentle music]

Lauren: So, this weekend I did something that I haven’t done in a really long time which is on Sunday I started this book and I’m going to get the pronunciation of the title wrong. I actually don’t know how it is pronounced but Piranesi by Susanna Clarke who is most known for writing Jonathan Strange & MR Norrell. Which is a book that I love. And she has written three books. It’s like Jonathan Strange, The Ladies of Grace Adieu, and this book. And this has been on my “to be read” for four years, since it came out in 2020, since I loved her first two books so much. And I read it. I started it a couple of days ago and then on Sunday, this is Monday as we’re recording this, I just sat down and spent most of the morning and afternoon reading the rest of this book. It wasn’t a particularly long book. And it was just ... it’s been a while since I’ve had that experience of reading a book where you’re just so sucked into it. Then I get to the last line and I just instantly burst into tears. And it was just like, I don’t know, it really ... I’ve been in a little bit of a reading rut for a while. I would say most of what I’ve read in the last 18 months has been nonfiction books, romance novels, and Star Wars books. (laughs)

All of those things are great but there’s something about sitting down with a completely original sort of story that you have no idea where it’s going. Even if it is an original romance, I know kind of what the end goal is. Right? But yeah, it really got me in my feels because it sort of reminded me of the magic of reading.

What about you? What has you in your feels?

Cher: I just started watching the new Amazon MGM Studio series, Mr. & Mrs. Smith. That’s with Maya Erskine and Donald Glover. I am loving it. I think it’s really fun and cute. And I’m shipping them super hard. And I really like them both as individuals. And so I’m really excited about having a new show, a brand new show that I am excited about and watching. So, yeah, that has me in my feels. 

Lauren: That show is definitely next on my list. It looks so fun. I love both of those actors so much. That’s great.

Cher: It’s fun, it’s cute. Definitely a bi panic show overall. Really enjoying it. We love those. It’s most shows as it turns out. 

Lauren: That’s true. Yeah.

Cher: Attractive characters.

Lauren: Which is most shows. 

Cher: Which is most shows. They don’t have to be attractive because it’s in the eye of the beholder. 

Lauren: That’s so true.

Cher: You know what I mean?

Lauren: Yeah. 

Cher: Anyway ... So, yeah. Most shows, it’s just most shows. 

Lauren: We don’t need an excuse to have bi panic. 

Cher: It’s just everything. And also I wanted to quickly before we close, I feel like I bring up this post all the time. And so I just wanted to mention it because it’s a Lord of the Rings post. I feel like when we did Dashboard Confessional last week I read a text post that reads from homosexuals having tea, which it turns out I’ve used as my dashboard confessional twice in a row. The text post says, “Love that one scene in Return of the King that’s like bad news, Sauron knows everything, good news, Pippin knows absolutely fuck all.” 

Lauren: It’s so good.

Cher: And someone made it into a gif set. And I was really excited to see that on my dashboard. And so thank you @RemusJohnSlupin. That’s the username. For making that work of art. So, that also has me in my feels – excited to see this text post that I continue to re-blog for years. Still have new life.

Lauren: It hits every time. 

Cher: It hits every time. 

Lauren: I love that.

Cher: Thank you, yet again. Completed my thoughts. What would I do without you? Anyway ... with that ... we fanic, we fixate, we complete each other’s sentences. 

Lauren: I love that.

Cher: I’m Cher McAnelly and you can find me at OverChers.Tumblr.com. 

Lauren: And I’m Lauren Shippen, and you can find me at TheLaurenShippen.Tumblr.com.

Cher: This has been Dashboard Diaries. And ... 

[outtro music]

Lauren: May your anons always be loving.

Cher: Your dash always refreshed.

Lauren: Your gifs always be loading.

Cher: And your ships always canon.

Lauren: May the fics you’re reading always be finished.

Cher: And the answers you seek always in the re-blogs.Lauren: Thanks for scrolling with us!

Shipping is a vital part of fandom culture and, let's be real, the central pillar of Tumblr's religion. This month, Cher and Lauren bring lesser loved ships to the table and pitch Tumblr users on why it's going to be their next fandom fixation.

Credits and transcript in our reblog. You can find transcripts for this, and every other episode, here.

Find the posts discussed in this episode in this tag!

[the-supreme-g0ddess]

Happy Valentine’s Day guys! I hope you have a wonderful day full of all sorts of love :) thank you all so much for following me! I really appreciate every single one of you liking my posts and reblogging them, it means a lot and I really love you for that. 

This post is mainly dedicated to my mutuals (who I don’t really talk to because yes I’m horrible that way) and it’s what I think of you and your blogs! All good things of course hahaha

@ezra-squall​ You were my first mutual, so that’s really special to me :D your blog is really interesting and your PJO content is amazing (I love your pinned post by the way) I know you haven’t been very active lately but I hope that whenever you see this you have a great day!

@olympusrox​ Your daily updates and memes are honestly so hilarious, as well as your fandom-related posts. I love going through your blog!! Even through our (brief) interactions, I’ve come to think of you as a very fun person :)

@adbrien​ I have not interacted with you at all before but your blog is super super cool! It has a lot of diverse content and scrolling through it is fun!

@moonysideofthesun​ Once again, I don’t think we’ve ever interacted but your blog is amazing! The posts really make me smile and I really like that.

@dizzy-hawthorne​ Your blog is actually very neat and organised hahaha also your live reactions to the PJO and HoO books is very entertaining to read. Have a great day!

@blackrachel-e-dare​ The art you post on your blog is really nice to look at! I love the style of your blog :)

@thedelicioussalad​ We’ve barely interacted but you are like the one person who will like almost all of my posts and thank you, thank you, thank you so much for that! Your blog is one I enjoy scrolling through and the incorrect quotes that you post are just wow.

@nyctophobicselenophile​ You haven’t been too active either but the quotes on your blog??? SO DEEP! It really makes me think about my life in ways I didn’t know possible. Your blog gives a very positive vibe :D

@the-dam-divergent-glader​ You divergent posts make me smile so much. Even though they’e mostly sad, I love them hahaha your blog kinda makes me feel safe?? I don’t know how to explain it, it just does XD enjoy your day!

@xxfanenbyanonymousxx​ Your blog makes up almost all of my dashboard, and I LOVE IT! The content is so chaotic and scattered but it all seems to come together. I also love your Artemis Fowl posts :D

@art-e-gurl​ Oh my gods your introduction post made me laugh so much not gonna lie but it’s so sweet hahaha the art you make is really pretty and your blog seems really energetic to me XD @stepdaughter-of-nero​ Your TOA content >>>>>>> your blog is super fun and really amazing, I enjoy going through it! Have a great day ahead :D

@disaster-bi-shitposts​ Your blog is very relatable and your reactions to some posts just make me crack up really bad XD good luck with wherever your blog takes you!

Also, I know some of you might be hesitant to interact with others generally, so don’t feel pressurised with me :) I would love talking to you all! Well I guess that’s it! I hope you all have a great day ahead, and Happy Valentine’s Day once again to all my followers! :D

[migilini]

Roadtrip - Charlie Gillespie

a/n: just a daydream I had when I saw this GIF. It’s not proofread. I’m open to requests.

Words: 2k

---------------------------------------

You and Charlie were on a road trip from LA to Oklahoma and last to Chigaco. Your boyfriend had to move there due to the fact that he got cast in a movie and you were fortunate enough to move with him, being able to work from home. It wasn't your idea to drive all those miles via car, but Charlie doesn't like flying so he avoided it at all cost and because you love him, you accompanied him for those dreadful hours.

It was way too early for your liking, of course Charlie knew that and put up with your grumpy, nontalkative mood, simply shoving a large cup of coffee into your hands. “Ma cœur, how much longer until you're more awake to talk to me?” Charlie asked after a while, as he glanced over to you on the passenger side, his free hand tracing little hearts on your thigh. You yawned and took a sip of the now lukewarm coffee. “About this much.” You measured the amount still in the cup, making him chuckle.

You and Charlie have been dating for nearly one and a half years now, however it feels like it's been much longer. From the start, the two of you were attached at the hip, instantly comfortable around each other. Everybody said that you two moved too fast because you moved in with each other after only three months of dating, but because of Covid you didn't want to risk being apart. Even though objectively speaking, you and Charlie were not the same, you were more daydreaming than actually paying attention and you didn't need the adrenaline in your life, you completed him in a magical way.

Right now you two were two hours in, the coffee was empty and you ass already sore from all the sitting. It was something you always despided about yourself, you could spend all day laying in bed, but you couldn't sit still, changing position every now and then. Tapping your foot to the beat of the song streaming from the radio. Charlie calmly hummed along to the song, his fingers also tapping along. You looked over at him and couldn't love him more.

“Are you excited to see Owen and Jer?” You asked him, breaking the silence. A breathtaking smile overtook his face “You know it! How about you?” You nodded, also excited to see the boys again. “Mhm. I missed them a lot.” The song on the radio changed and you huffed in annoyance, you hated that song. Sensing that, Charlie took out his phone and connected it to the car.

“Charlie! Don't drive and be on your phone!” You snapped it out of his hand, giving him a displeased look. Scrolling through Spotify you eventually choose a song to your liking. 18 by OneDirection blared through the speakers, while you put the volume higher you turned in your seat. “I have loved you since we were 18. Well technically 20 but that's a detail.” You whispered the last part. He scrunched his nose in amusement, a quirk you loved dearly.

The two of you screamed lyrics at the top of your lungs, the car driving on an empty highway. The rest of the world fading away, leaving the two of you in a cozy little bubble of your own. The day continued just like that, the two of you singing to songs and just enjoying the company. You loved seeing him drive, something about it was just so attractive to you, maybe it was the way his arms flexed when he moved the wheel, or the fact that you yourself were unable to drive. Even with your 21 years of life, you refused to sit behind the steering wheel and Charlie had tried several times, it always ended with you in tears.

“Do you want to stop somewhere to sleep? It's getting kinda late and you have been driving the whole day.” you questioned, looking at the horizon as the last beams of yellow and red vanished slowly. “Yes please. Can you search for a hotel around here?” Nodding, you took his phone and went onto google maps.

“There's one about two hours away in New Mexico. Reviews look good and the price isn't too high. Sadly no breakfast included, so we're gonna get you something on the road, not gonna let you starve, otherwise I will be stranded here.” He gave your thigh a playful slap and a squeeze “Yeah, yeah love you too, Char. I will look it up… Ah perfect! There's a Dunkin Donuts five miles from the hotel. Does that sound good babe?” He hummed in approval.

“Ah a man of words!” he took one of your hands and gave it a light kiss. “You know me. I always wanted to be a Mime.” he joked.

Before you knew it, the car came to a stop in the pitch black. Only a little yellow neon sign lighting up the hotel parking spot.

“This looks like this one Teen Wolf episode…” you murmured, not feeling the best about this place. “You’re just saying that because you're scared of the dark ma cœur. I'm here to protect you. No Monsters are harming you tonight.” he teased, getting out of the car. In typical Charlie fashion, he walked around the car and opened your door and held out a hand for you, immediately intertwining your fingers. 

You smiled up at him, squeezing his hand. “Ha ha…”

The two of you were happy to finally walk off the stiffness of your legs, as you walked over to the reception. 

“Hello. We would have a room please.”

The receptionist was in his late 30s, his greying hair falling messily in his eyes and a big smile sat on his thin lips. “No Problem. Is a king bed alright with the two of you?” he didn't want to assume anything. You and Charlie chuckled, nodding slightly “Preferred actually.”

Five minutes later, you waited in the room 345 while Charlie insisted on getting your bags. Stretching, you tried to get rid of the soreness in your back, your eyes nearly falling shut.

Charlie opened the doors, giving you a tired smile. “Let's get to bed. Tomorrow we rise early!” you groaned, making him chuckle. Standing up, you walked over to him, your arms wrapping around his familiar frame. He was stroking your head, giving it a kiss before walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

In the meanwhile you changed your clothes, changing from some jeans and one of his hoodies to sweatpants and an oversized shirt. 

You gave him a hasty kiss as he came out of the bathroom, smelling the mint of the toothpaste still lingering on his lips. After you washed your face and brushed your teeth, you let yourself fall into the bed. His arms sneaking around your waist, pulling you closer into him. 

“Thank you.” Turning around to face him, you traced his features with your fingertips “For what?”

“Coming on this drive with me. You could have easily convinced me to fly, you know.”

“I know mon amour.” you said, looking into his eyes, as you tried your best to keep yours open. You left several kisses on his bare shoulders until your lips met his. He smiled into the kiss and then nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, pecking it several times before stopping.

“Good night. I love you.”

“Good night babe. Love you more.”

The next morning came way too fast and you didn't want to move out of his comfortable and safe arms into the cold car, but you had to. The sunrise hadn't even begun, the sky still a dark blue, when the two of you drove into the Dunkin drive through, to get you a coffee and a donut. You had to have something sweet in the mornings.

“Actually, I saw a little restaurant on the way here that should have takeaway, do you mind if we take a quick stop?” you shook your head, trying hard not to fall asleep again. An idea ignited in your head and you sat up straighter. “What if we go live while you drive? Maybe I'll be more awake or I'll have stuff to read.” you requested, looking at your boyfriend with a slight pout.

“Sure thing. I'll bet they'll love it.” Smiling, you grabbed his phone from his hand and went into Instagram.

“Hey Char and y/n here.” you introduced while trying to balance the phone on the dashboard “Its freaking early and I’m nearly falling asleep so I thought you guys could entertain me a bit. Mister Gillespie over here isn't as interesting as you guys.” he pouted into the camera, you leaned forward quickly and gave him a kiss on the cheek. The chat was already flooding with hey’s and questions about your relationship and where you were going.

“Is it true that you sometimes talk french to Charlie?” you read from the chat, your eyes widening a little in surprise. 

“Sometimes. I mean my french isn't the best but growing up in Europe, I picked up some stuff.”

“She’s just being humble, she understands a lot and her accent is hella cute.” Charlie piped in, pulling into the drive through he mentioned earlier. “Je vois que tu comprends." He said to you, a slight smile playing on his lips. You got lost in his eyes for a second before responding. “Of course I understand babe!” he grabbed your hand and kissed it softly while chuckling. 

“OMG that was just so cute!” you read out loud from the chat. Blushing slightly, you giggled, “He loves to do stuff like that when he’s driving. Always showing affection in one way or the other.”

“Uhm next question...What are you two doing so early? Someone asks.” with an raised eyebrow you look over to your boyfriend “I think you can answer this.” you turned the camera a bit so he was more in frame. “We're going to Chicoago, Chigacoooo.” he quoted the iconic Victorious scene, his eyes scanning the road before him.

He got himself a cheese thing of some sort, you couldn't quite make out what it was and parked on the side of the road, getting his food ready in front of him.

He bit into his cheese thing while you sipped on your coffee conversing with the chat. Just earlier you had begged for music suggestions, telling them to send their best road trip songs. Charlie looked really good right now, his hair was pulled together in a bun and he was wearing a blue shirt. You on the other hand had your hair in a top bun and the same hoodie from yesterday, a wool blanket draped over your shoulders. You just wanted to ask if you could have a bite, when he got cheese all over his chin. 

He laughed as he looked over to you. Before you knew what you were doing, you leaned forward in your seat. Your face mere inches away from his, you could feel his breath on your face. You stuck out your tongue and licked the cheese away, your eyes never leaving his. 

Without giving it a second thought, you settled back into a comfortable position and took a sip from your coffee with a prominent smirk on your face. Leaving a dumbfounded Charlie and a screaming chat.

Not even an hour later the clip of you licking his chin, in maybe a bit of a too sexual way, went viral in the community.

[ateezmakemeweep]

could you please do a reaction to ateez finding out your tumblr profile? like it was supposed to be hidden but they snuck up or something and saw it? thank you!

❥ kim hongjoong

you had a tumblr before you started dating hongjoong and it was the only form of social media you kept after going public with your relationship. it was an account no one knew about, where you were still able to have close contact with your friends and have some form of entertainment. 

and if you just so happen to stumble upon gifs and videos of your boyfriend, then you’d give it a like or reblog. just for fun and to support the content creators, not because you throughly enjoyed them and thought he was-

“is that me?”

you jump at hearing your boyfriend’s voice, your eyes widening as you turn your phone into your chest; you hadn’t even heard it come in. 

“no!” you tried to deny but he’d already seen it, walking over and raising an eyebrow at you. he pecked your cheek and insisted that if you wanted pictures of him, he’d be more than happy to take some from you while he’s out at practice or in the studio. 

❥ park seonghwa

“let me see it, baby.”

“it’s nothing,” you whine, sitting under your phone with a rampant blush on your cheeks. you were just scrolling through your social media accounts before bed, craning your neck over your shoulder to check if seonghwa had come out of the bathroom; but you still heard the water running and deemed it safe to check, looking through the few ateez accounts you started following a few weeks ago. 

something about it felt weird but you liked seeing his face pop up on your dashboard, knowing that you had an extra outlet for information if you couldn’t get into direct contact with him. 

that was until he came up behind you and called your name softly, a gasp leaving you as your phone fell to the floor. you scrambled to pick it up and sat on it, the boy immediately raising his eyebrow at you. 

and it was with one stern look you let out a sigh, flipping your phone over to show case a gif of him dancing. he bit his lip to hide his smile, something soft and warm filling his chest as he places a kiss on top of your head.

you whine at him in embarrassment but he only presses a finger to your lips, admitting that he thinks it’s cute you look at those things. 

❥ jeong yunho

it was really your friend’s fault in the first place, a link she sent you with yunho and his “cute friend you just have to set her up with,” leading down the spiral of ateez tagged content. 

you had never had a tumblr and didn’t know how it worked but you quickly discovered it was a great place to see cute little pictures and videos of your boyfriend when he was away on tour or shows and you couldn’t see him. 

but when yunho surprised you a day early and walked in unannounced, he saw his face on your phone and a small smile immediately lit his face. “what is that?”  you squealed at the sound of his voice, your phone flying in the air and plopping on the couch as you turned around.

you didn’t even have the time to be embarrassed or mad at him for scaring you because you hadn’t seen him in weeks, rushing over to him and throwing yourself into him. he laughs against your head as he puts his arms around you, pulling back after a long-awaited hug with a small smile on his face. 

and that’s when the embarrassment floods through you, biting down on your lip because he just caught you looking at him on tumblr. “i…can explain, my friend showed me that at first because she has a crush on seonghwa and-“

he shakes his head as he places a kiss on your lips, mumbling that he missed you too.

❥ kang yeosang

“why does he do this? is he kidding me? i could seriously just-“

“what are you doing?”

and if you weren’t tipsy from your night out with him and the boys, you would’ve never outed yourself. would’ve never shoved your phone in his face with your tumblr profile displayed and asked your shy, reserved boyfriend why he does this for other people to see. 

he couldn’t stop the laugh from bubbling out of him, taking you in his arms and guiding your stumbling frame to the bedroom. and it’s only the next morning, your head pounding the second your eyes open and you see yeosang looking down at you, that he smirks and pokes fun at you for last night.

“so…how long have you had that account?” 

you try to play dumb at first but then with morning hair and puffy eyes, he sticks his tongue out and brings his thumb to his mouth teasingly, a horrified gasp leaving you because you can recall that gif far too well.

❥ choi san

a tiny noise in the back of your throat alerts san immediately, eating his food with your feet in his lap. it was rather bold of you to start with, scrolling through tumblr right next to him when you know you see posts of him. 

but you hadn’t ever seen one like this, even given the... obvious duality to your boyfriend. because now, he’s turned and looking at with his mouth stuffed with noodles, his head turned to the side as he asks if you’re okay.

“ye-yeah, sorry,” you mumble out, heating rushing to your cheeks as you get out an excuse about something being stuck in your throat. but then he smirks after swallowing his food, raising an eyebrow that proves he just doesn’t quite believe you. 

and how could he, when the mirror behind you has been giving you away this whole time?

“you sure about that?” he asks with a small smile, ditching his food as he leans over and places a kiss on the tip of your nose. you scrunch it up as you hide your phone away from him, gasping when the boy nods his head behind you and you see your reflection staring back at you.

❥ song mingi

you tried to stay away from looking at your boyfriend’s presence on social media. something about it made you feel awkward, almost like you shouldn’t be looking at it as someone who knows him in real life.

but sometimes they just pop up and you can’t bring yourself to look away or not give it a like. you thought mingi was sleeping as you laid in bed and double clicked your screen, reminding yourself to find a video of that performance and watch it for science. 

“you’re not gonna reblog it?” 

a gasp leaves your mouth at your boyfriend’s deep teasing voice, turning over and smacking him in the arm roughly. “how did you…why do you…how do you even know about that!” a smirk makes its way on his face as he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him, telling you that if you’re good, he’ll let you wear that shirt one day. 

❥ jung wooyoung

wooyoung couldn’t help running over to tease you when he saw you scrolling, the familiar dance move and scene catching his eye on your phone immediately. 

“now who is that?” 

you let out a gasp as you hear wooyoung right behind you, a quiet “ahh,” leaving you that cause him to throw his head back in laughter. he had no idea you followed him or his group’s presence on social media but he can’t say he was mad about it, pressing a kiss on your cheek before rubbing at the warm skin with his finger. 

“what’s your account name? wooyoungswifey?” 

“you’re disgusting, of course not!” you squeal, hitting at your boyfriend who only continues to tease you relentlessly. 

“do you write fan fiction about me? no need to, babe, when you got the real thing right here.”

you hide your face in your pillow and resist the urge to scream, wooyoung’s laugh ringing in your ears only making your embarrassment worse. 

❥ choi jongho

you let out a giggle and eye roll scrolling on your tumblr account, shaking your head at the sight you’re all too familiar with. and jongho must notice because, without your knowledge, he peeks over and catches the sight of him on your phone screen.

he can’t help the smirk that crosses his face as he continues to cook for you, not calling you out until he places your food down. you immediately feel your face flush, stammering and stuttering that you don’t go on a lot and only sometimes like pictures of him.

“sometimes?” he asks with a look of concern on his face. “why only sometimes? you should be liking them all the time.”

you roll your eyes at you throw a carrot at him, embarrassment still coursing through you but happy he didn’t tease you too bad about it.

[christianborle]

Hey friends! In some strange turn of events, I’ve been spending more time on this website again so I think I should make a post reintroducing myself and saying what I use this blog for now (as of December 2020)

So if you just stumbled upon my blog or if you’ve been following me for a while but forgot, hi! I’m tumblr user christianborle (am i really the man himself? well, that’s the question oop) and I’ve been on here since 2012 (oh god). You may know me from reblogging posts about christian borle, obviously, theatre/broadway (shoutout if you’ve been here since smash aired on tv omfg), star wars, doctor who, cartoons, and whatever other kinds of entertainment I enjoy. You may have seen me be involved in fandoms and discussions over the years and I may have been mutuals with some of you!

Around 2017 things were getting toxic on this website and I just needed to step away. With this whole pandemic, I’ve been watching a lot more movies and tv shows and reading more books, and slowly I dipped my toe back into fan stuff because I wanted to find more content. A little bit of Anne with an E, then Steven Universe, then Avatar the Last Airbender, and now Julie and the Phantoms has taken over my life, as you may have seen lol. (also i have maybe been avoiding responsibilities and work recently so if u see me actively reblogging a ton of stuff tell me to get tf off of here lmao)

While I do miss fan communities, it is still a bit overwhelming for me and I still need to focus on other areas of my real life. so how I operate tumblr now is I:

don’t scroll through the dashboard anymore so I can limit my screen time here. I only stalk my friends’ blogs and reblog from them. so if you see me reblogging like 25 posts from you at once, please don’t feel creeped out!

basically if i recently watched a movie or tv show i just go ham and spam y’all with it for a few hours/days. i’m not sorry lmao. so if you see some random influx of, for example, matilda (1996) gifsets for no reason, you can safely assume i rewatched it and i needed a moment to get my feelings out about it. i expected to only blog for a day about julie and the phantoms and now i’ve accidentally turned into a jatp blog so that may happen too lol. as always, you can blacklist whatever you don’t like to see!

a little bit hesitant to join fandoms again because a lot has changed in fan culture since i left and i can’t have too many distractions. but that doesn’t mean i am opposed to making new friends! i love to talk about the things I am passionate about and am always trying to be kind and lend a helping hand :)

if you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know who christian borle is (my url). you can rest easy knowing i am still a fan of his and seeing as his name is attached to this blog, i always try to uphold respectful standards because of that. i would reblog more stuff about him, but the tags are kind of scary tbh and as i said, fandom spaces have changed. but if you want to talk about him and his work and how awesome he is, or if you have any questions about him, my inbox is always open! i miss getting asks haha

So yeah! That is the current situation. Don’t know how long I’ll stick around, maybe it’ll literally just be for a couple more days and that’s it, or maybe a little longer, and I don’t know what the future will be for this blog, I’m just here to vibe. Thank you for reading all of this :)

And if we were mutuals long ago, hi! You probably changed your url and icon so I may not recognize you but I hope you are doing well. I may or may not go through and unfollow inactive blogs or ones I don’t recognize so if I unfollowed you I’m sorry! (it’s time consuming to do that tho so we’ll see lol) I hope everyone is staying healthy and safe!

Oh, and I’m not giving up this url.

~~~~~~~~~~ tl;dr: not as active in fandoms as I used to be but getting a little bit involved, mostly just here to vibe and reblog stuff i like and not sure what the future will hold for this blog. and i don’t scroll through the dash anymore to minimize screen time, only on friend’s blogs, so if you see me reblogging a ton of stuff from your blog in a row, pls don’t be creeped out!~~~~~~~

[purplesurveys]

1180

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? Yeah, I’m pretty paranoid and always feel the need to use conditioner because of a bad rebonding job from like a decade ago that stiffened up my hair as soon as it would get wet. It lasted for around a year, so I formed the habit of always using conditioner every time I shower. I don’t think I’ve ever used just shampoo since then.

Do you prefer light or dark jeans?  Dark, but I suppose it would be nice to start experimenting with lighter shades as well.

When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen?  It depends if I know the lyrics or I’m feeling the song at the moment. Obviously with my new obsession with BTS I can’t really sing along to entire songs, but I do sing the few English lyrics they have per song, hahaha.

Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook?  Yeah but she’s been muted for like half a year already, as is the rest of her family. I do have plans to unfriend her entirely; I’m just not sure when I would push through with it, and I already gave Angela permission to log onto my account one of these days to be the one to do the unfriending.

Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person?  Gabie. I miss the friendship sometimes; I don’t think I’ll have a friendship as deep and connected as the one we had, so I will always feel sorry about how that went to waste. But I don’t really think about our relationship anymore as I’m pretty good at blocking off certain memories, so I don’t miss her in that sense.

How many cars are parked at your house right now?  Two.

Do you have any Italian ancestry?  I highly doubt so. If anything there’s probably a tiny drop Spanish blood in there but that’s the most European I’ll ever get.

Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature?  Like, drinking water? Ice cold, always. I hate warm water.

Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak?  Not to my face, but I know I’m one so I’m sure other people have said that about me at least behind my back.

Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found?  Yes, my friend Mik and one of my aunts. They were both found eventually.

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten?  Eating ghost pepper instant noodles was a pain I would never want to go through again...I threw that shit out after my first forkful, lmao.

Do you need to talk to someone?  No, not in particular. In a more general sense I do wanna start gaining more friends though, so I’ve been meaning to expand my circle by creating a new Twitter account just for my BTS dump. In other words, I am a 23 year old with a stan Twitter HAHAHAHA

Is something confusing you at the moment?  No, I’m good.

When was the last time you had a real deep chat?  Maybe my conversation with Andi a couple of nights back. We were talking about a tricky situation with their ex-friend who turned out to be a real dick when they came out to him a year ago, and they just wanted to get my perspective on how I would handle it.

Who did you last see on webcam?  The PR manager for one of our clients, who we all despise because he doesn’t know how to do his job. Thankfully he’s resigning soon so we’re all just waiting for him to leave and finally meet a much more competent replacement.

What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)?  Angela has two dogs, Hailey and Kennedy. Andi had Apollo, who I wanted to meet so badly but sadly he passed away a week ago at 15.

Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass?  There are photos of me sitting on grass, but not lying in it. I would imagine that would feel very prickly and uncomfortable.

Who’s your favorite Disney character? Baymax or Flynn Rider.

Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk?  I’ve made my friends chug drinks or down shots and it’s happened vice versa, but it was always in good fun and we never made each other harassed from it. It’s just your typical college rambunctiousness, and if anyone felt uncomfortable or iffy then we didn’t hesitate to move on.

When was the last time you used a pay phone and who were you calling?  I’ve only ever seen those in my first school, when I was in kindergarten. I never got to use it and they also took them out not long after.

Do you like being kissed on the neck?  Yessssssssss

Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later?  Nope. I don’t think I would have sex with anyone I wasn’t dating.

What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a good bra?  Probably a couple thousand bucks if I thought I looked good in it.

Do you have any of your teachers’ personal cell phone numbers saved in your contacts list?  I don’t think so. I never tried getting close with any of them, and I always tried to stay hidden as much as possible. I was just in class to get good grades and pass.

Do you ever stalk peoples’ personal blogs, even if you don’t know them very well?  I never really scroll through people’s Tumblrs anymore. That was more of a thing I did in like 2013, but these days going through my dashboard is enough.

What’s one thing about today’s generation that you just can’t stand?  Some social media trends done for clout make me revolted, especially when it has anything to do with wasting food. I also hate when they do extreme pranks that I know I wouldn’t find funny if I were ever the victim, like tossing someone’s phone into the ocean.

Be honest: how do you feel about abortion?  Pro-choice. 

Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to?  I would love to catch up with Katreen at some point, but I know we’re at different points in our lives now and it would probably never happen.

What is your favorite piece of art you own?  I commissioned my sister to make an artwork of the 2D1N cast, and she did a great job making it! I haven’t gotten to use it or promote it yet, but I will soon. It’s really well-done.

What’s the one thing you apologized for this month?  Replying late.

My favorite color is ______?  Pastel pink.

I wish I had _____?  Longer weekends.

What did you buy today? Nothing – I’d call that a success lmao, I’ve been spending money as if I had a million fucking bucks over the last week. I did have some packages arrive today though: my own copy of 2 Cool 4 Skool (my first physical BTS album!!!!!!); the official poster from their album BE; the Ivy Park sneakers I ordered earlier this month, and an Ivy Park bucket hat Bea had apparently gotten for me as a birthday present.

What has challenged your morals?  Vices.

What made you pick up the last book you started reading?  I had to read it in preparation for a one-on-one session with my employer’s CEO.

What about your life concerns you the most? Whether a stable future is in the cards for me.

What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend?  Probably Filipino-American comedians or influencers who use stereotyping of Filipino accents and habits as a punchline; they do more harm to the culture than good. I can tell you not one Filipino who lives in the Philippines actually finds those funny, and Bretman Rock is probably the only personality who’s able to flaunt the culture in an entertaining and hilarious yet classy way.

When it comes to being offended, I guess it depends on the context. My humor can get pretty dark and low-blowy, but I would have a problem with someone who I know has genuinely problematic views.

What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another?  I think it may had still been Start-Up from last December. I’m not too big on Korean dramas since I find one episode waaaaaaayyyyyyy too long. I don’t think I’ll be starting on anything soon, Korean or otherwise.

What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same?  I’m single now, for the first time in technically six years. I also think I’m doing better and happier, breakup notwithstanding. OH and I love wasabi now, hahah. As for what’s unchanged, I still like taking surveys and I’m still stuck at home, though the latter’s not really in my control anymore.

If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take?  I’d just go back to UP for the free tuition. We also have the widest range of programs out of any university in the country, so it’s a damn good deal.

Name a song you’ve listened to today?  Fly To My Room - BTS

When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard?  We didn’t; but one of our relatives that we’d regularly visit did have a playground that I’d use all the time. It’s still there, just very unmaintained since no one uses it anymore.

Is your mall nice?  Which one? We have five different malls nearby lol. Mall culture here is on another level.

Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there?  No. I’m not so sure what they serve there, either. I’m guessing milkshakes?

Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around?  I’ll always exercise my right to vote.

How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries?  I hate strawberries and I hate fruits, so even if you coat that shit in Nutella and cookie butter and chocolate syrup I still wouldn’t touch it.

Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? No.

Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with?  I’ve never had a thing with guys.

To whom did you last give the finger?  I haven’t had to do that in a while.

What was the last musical instrument played in your presence?  My sister’s keyboard.

Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?  Not particularly. They make things look cute, but they never taste like anything tbh so I never saw the point in paying extra just to have them on my desserts.

Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before?  Nah. I cringe thinking about that.

Do you know how to do the moon walk?  I don’t.

Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice?  Never gotten that specific compliment before because I know I don’t have one.

Onion rings or french fries?  Onion rings.

Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? No.

Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast?  I don’t think so, but I know I have the tendency to do so occasionally, especially while I’m presenting a deck. Once I notice it I make an effort to pace myself.

Who is the best cook that you know?  My dad and both my grandmas all deserve that title.

Which meal throughout the day do you skip the most?  I literally never have lunch ever.

What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time?  I can’t juggle.

What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid?  Sandboxes, since I liked the texture; the sandboxes in school were also often empty, which worked well for my introvert self. I find that it’s carried over to today, since I still enjoy touching things like slime and kinetic sand.

Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much?  I think 5 or 6 lbs, I’m not exactly sure but it’s definitely somewhere in that small range.

Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do?  Work, for sure. I work a normal 9–6 so that’s already 8 hours out of my day, but I also OT a lot after hours, and I work throughout my lunch break as well so that technically makes it 9 hours. I also like getting up earlier and starting some work before my shift so that I would have less tasks on my plate for the day.

Do you enjoy buying gifts for others, or could you do without this?  I LOVE getting people gifts. Food is especially my love language, and I always get food delivery for my friends, family, and my team at work.

What is one thing you are expected to do, if anything?  I mean, I have work deadlines tomorrow so there’s that.

How do you tend to view driving? Monotonous or entertaining?  I love driving. I don’t think I ever complained about having to do it. It’s calming and relaxing when I’m doing it alone or with a partner; and it can be entertaining with the right set of people.

Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Not always. If I don’t listen to the artist then I can find the conversation quite boring, like if my friends would get into a full-blown discussion about Taylor Swift.

Is acting something you enjoy?  No. It wouldn’t even be something I’d be interested in doing.

When do you feel most accomplished?  Finishing a work day with no tasks left behind.

Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross?  Idk what that is.

How many best friends do you have?  Two.

Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above?  I drink sometimes. I also kinda smoke, I guess.

If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced?  My mom had them pierced when I was a month old.

Do you own any exercise machines?  My mom has this rowing equipment thingy. I don’t have any of my own, though.

On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings?  No.

Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait?  I remember having to draw one as a school assignment, but I’m pretty sure I half-assed that because I couldn’t care less for art class back then.

Who was your last voicemail from?  We don’t have voicemails.

Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious?  I don’t think so. That’s the sort of situation that would stick out in my memory if ever.

Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid?  No, not a thing here.

When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language?  Around an hour ago when I went downstairs and chatted with my sister briefly.

Have you ever received an anonymous gift?  Nope.

Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day?  Nope but I definitely still wouldn’t be opposed to doing that haha.

When were you the saddest in your life? 2016 was fucking miserable. < I’d have to agree. 2017 was also awful.

Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you?  I used to know one but she got out of it. In a sense, I suppose I also was in one.

If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you?  Well they’re younger, so they definitely still live here, with our parents. I’m the first one expected to move out, but I’m taking my time.

Have you ever gotten searched by the cops?  No.

Do you like fried rice?  Of course. I like any kind of rice.

What was the last thing you drank?  Water.

[mcmansionhell]

2018 McGingerbread Hell Competition Winners

Happy New Year, Folks! I’m pleased to announce the winners of this (past) year’s McGingerbread Hell Gingerbread House Competition!!

First off, I cannot find the words to say how much joy each and every entry to this competition has brought me. Every single one of the participants put their 100% best McMansion Hell face on and the results were charming, hilarious, and, if we’re being punny here, downright sweet. This may be the best idea this blogger has ever had. 

Second, let me say that the when I say the competition was fierce, I mean, it was fierce. So much so that I drafted the fellow judgement of two of my favorite colleagues, my literary agent Caroline Eisenmann, and fellow architecture critic/Editor of Chicago Architect Magazine Anjulie Rao to help me narrow the 43 contestants down to 8. 

Just a note: Last names of the winners have been abbreviated for privacy reasons. If you would like your full name to be published instead, please email mcgingerbreadhell@gmail.com with your preferred name. 

We’re going to start our line up with the 5 honorable mentions in alphabetical order, after which there will be a break to take those of you scrolling through this on the dashboard to the full article where the top 3 McMansions will be revealed. 

Without further ado... 

Honorable Mention #5 : Manoir de emporte-pièce by Anya D.

The judges were impressed by the whimsy, creativity and finely detailed execution of Anya’s house. Caroline summed it up best: “what else is a McMansion if not a bunch of smaller houses wrapped into one package?” 

Anya writes: 

Hi I'm Anya and I'm 12. I made my Gingerbread house from Gingerbread I mixed and baked myself. The house shapes came from a cookie cutter. It's held together with royal icing frosting I made. The shingles are almonds and the house off to the side is the dog house and has candy dog bones on it. The "lights" on parts of it are candy balls. I hope you like it!

Honorable Mention #4: AMAZING Custom Home with Quality Features by Sydney E.

The judges were impressed by the house’s fine craftsmanship, attention to detail (especially the peppermint columns, the gumdrop crenellations, and the chandelier in the back) and great sense of humor. Anjulie remarked: “Love the inclusion of the nuclear family.” What really had us in stitches was Sydney’s wonderfully rich description, especially this part:

 “...You'll know you're living in the lap of luxury when you see the ENORMOUS GOLD CHANDELIER in the dining room. But it's the ROOFTOP PATIO with no discernible purpose or point of entry that will really set you apart from your neighbors. "Hey, how did you get up there?" they'll ask, but you're not telling (mysterious!). The landscaping will make you feel like you're in the countryside, in a sea of royal icing TURF GRASS (shown here, lightly dusted with coconut snow). The FOUR TREES on the property are either too far from the house to provide any shade (stately!) or extremely close to the house and actively obscuring at least one window (posh!). The entire house, the front walk, and the driveway are all bordered in royal icing ENGLISH IVY, which is definitely never going to be a problem for native plants (colonial!).”

Honorable Mention #3: Suburban Hobbit House by Jennifer K. & Cara M.

The judges were impressed by the difficulty of execution in Jennifer and Cara’s house, especially the dome, the cleverness of using almonds as cladding, and the hilariously barren “asphalt” lawn complete with soul patch. Kate remarked: “Pretty sure I saw this exact house in Bergen County, New Jersey.”

Jennifer and Cara wrote about their house: 

Made of solid gingerbread in shape of skulls (had the pans), graham crackers, lots of icing, nuts, chocolate, a candy cane, grape tic-tacs, decorator sprinkles, butter-rum Lifesavers, fondant, Tootsie Rolls, and a loaf of rosemary bread. Round center mass house with back porch nub, two wings, a charming turret. We totally meant for it to look this way.

Honorable Mention #2: European Charme by Núria O. 

The judges were very impressed with the fine detailing (such as the columns, balustrades, and front door), the crisp, clean execution of the design, and total commitment to the McMansion Aesthetic™ from front to rear, including the completely barren lawn. 

Núria describes the house in finely practice Realtor-ese:

Beautiful gazillion-square-feet chalet featuring lots of personality and European flair. This cozy 4-bedroom, 10-bathroom cottage is made of sturdy construction-grade tan-beige gingerbread from top to bottom. Roof plates are structurally tinted, not painted, ensuring a durable color that will last until the last crumble is eaten. Windows glazing is made of gelatine sheets coated with black-coloured blueberry jam to ensure privacy as you lounge by the bay window or enjoy the views from the beautiful faux-balcony. 

All doors are solid gum paste, with royal icing on all window frames as well as the balustrade. This home is ideal for entertaining, with its luxurious two-story entrance featuring genuine Spanish _neula_ columns with doric capitals, ornated pediment and a quaint half-tindered wall that gives true European _charme_. Utilities are housed in a lovely turret next to the service door. The garage accomodates two SUVs or six European sedan cars. The magnificent brown-sugar-paved front yard features icing plants and a signature landscaped crushed-sprinkle turf patch on cookie soil. The same type of grass was used in the large, sunny backyard which also has a patio area.

Honorable Mention #1: Existential Crisis on 34th Street by Caitlin R. 

The judges were very impressed by the house’s clever use of different baking materials and attention to detailing, especially in the icing work. Kate was especially excited by the rounded gingerbread turret, and Anjulie loved the “Existential Crisis” detail and monumental marshmallow columns. The description had Caroline especially in stitches.

Caitlin describes the house:

This nine-bedroom mansion is made from the most exquisite of gingerbreads. Lovingly handmade from scratch, and crafted by local artisans, it's ready for your own sweet family. Grecian inspired columns impose your might on the neighborhood, while a pebble-clad tower with bay windows adds a touch of country charm. Architectural details include a 'stonework' wall and chimney, sweet dormer windows, and a luxurious back porch. A myriad of windows let light into this expanded historic house - the original building dates all the way back to 1982! Come by today, and soon you'll be calling this three-and-a-half story, Greco-Chateauesque Italian Revival Americana, 18,600 square foot mansion - home!

Now on to the TOP 3 PRIZEWINNING HOUSES!

It all comes down to this. It was stiff competition through and through, and the judges deliberated long and hard about who the top 3 spots should go to. Each house showed tremendous ability in craftsmanship, detailing, and McMansion Engineering. Without further ado: 

Third Prize: Saccharin Sanctuary by Christa H.

The judges were wowed by the amazing craftsmanship and attention to detail present in Christa’s house. Caroline was impressed by the use of Cinnamon Toast Crunch as shingling, Anjulie loved the jellybean stone accents, and Kate found the use of sticks of gum as fake-stucco siding to be very clever. The execution of the lawyer foyer, turret, and appropriately nonsensical rear exterior put this house in to the third place slot. 

Christa’s description, in perfect Realtorese: 

This fabulous 1.5 story house features a gorgeous columned entry, double garage, show-stopping turret, and the picture perfect back patio. Built from the finest gingerbread and white chocolate... you can be sure that this house has a superior foundation that you can trust for years to come. Jelly Beans, spear mint Lifesavers, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Double Mint gum among other award winning materials make this house’s curb appeal unforgettable! List Price: 🍬574,900  Est Mortgage: 🍬2,240/mo Listed By: Sugar & Space Reality®️

Second Prize: The Hundred Thousand by Louisa G.

The judges were blown away by, as they say, the sheer size of this lad. The monumentality of such a massive roof must have taken some serious gingerbread engineering, all while perfectly encapsulating McMansion Roof Culture. The engineering, clean execution, attention to detail (millions of nonpareils!!), and true, well, McMansion-ness of this house vaulted (ceiling) it into 2nd place. 

Louisa describes the house thusly: 

The Hundred Thousand has no equal. This 37-piece towering gingerbread edifice was baked and constructed over four days during the heat of an Australian summer, by an Australian and a Finn, using a Finnish gingerbread recipe. Inspired by Mt. Nub, The Hundred Thousand boasts a porcine screaming porch, eight ahoy-mateys windows, a royally-iced gable front that almost but not entirely obscures the front door, and palatial grounds landscaped with topiary sweets, all topped off with a soaring roof tiled with hundreds & thousands. 

So many hundreds & thousands were used that the builders ran out of material - causing the construction project to grind to a halt for almost ten minutes, until the Australian’s father arrived with more much-needed building supplies. The Hundred Thousand was fixed together using high-quality caramel, and is internally braced by two large gingerbread cross-panels. This fantastic abode required nearly 2kg of flour and eight eggs (provided by the Australian’s chickens) and was constructed as large as the oven would allow, measuring a whopping 40 cm across on the front facade, and nearly 30 cm high. 

And finally, (DRUMROLL PLEASE)

First Prize: Casa de McGingerHell by Beth and Tina C.

From the moat, dome skylight, and lawyer foyer, to the rice crispy treat retaining wall, and chocolate rocks, this house, in the words of Caroline, was “truly next level.” The judges were blown away by the incredible attention to detail and clever use of different materials, specially the pretzel railing on the bridge, the marshmallow penguins, and we all freaked over those sugar glass and water elements. From the several different types of windows, bizarre massing, and three car garage, this house encapsulates the deranged opulence of McMansions in the sweetest way possible. 

Beth and Tina describe their house: 

Located centrally and literally dominating the entire living room, this McGingerMansion features over twenty handcrafted stained glass windows, a double sized garage, and three hand laid rock face walls! This gingermansion also has not one, but two incredible water features including a delightful frozen waterfall in the spacious backyard. Boasting several pre-decorated pine trees surrounding the property, this festive gingermansion showcases several dozen strands of lights and as well as a handful of charming wreaths. 

The one hundred percent genuine pretzel log deck overlooking the backyard is the perfect place to entertain friends and family alike, especially during the holiday season! Standing at just over a foot and a half tall, this truly massive gingermansion has a total composition of just over twenty pans worth of gingerbread. Call now to schedule a tour today; this gingermansion won't last long! *Disclaimer: As required of us by law, we must disclose the presence of a minor pest infestation in the form of roughly a dozen cute, but possibly rabid penguins on the property.

On behalf of the judges and McMansion Hell, we would like to thank everyone who entered the competition for their amazingly wonderful houses, and for the funding from McMansion Hell’s Patreon supporters whose generosity made running the competition and supplying the prizes possible. 

Stay tuned for this year’s new and exciting McMansion Hell features:

- The conclusion of the 50 states, starting with Virginia next week.  - A series of essays on kitsch - Looking at McMansions decade by decades - McMansions in film and media - Updates on the McMansion Hell Book

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon!

There is a whole new slate of Patreon rewards, including Good House of the Week, Crowdcast streaming, and bonus essays!

Not into recurring donations or bonus content? Consider the tip jar! Or, Check out the McMansion Hell Store ! 100% of the proceeds from the McMansion Hell store go to charity!

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs are used in this post under fair use for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2018 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)

[thetortureartist]

Introduction

About me . . .

I am a Dominant, Male, Feeder. . . . An artist, skilled in the areas of Sculpting, Drawing, Painting, Woodworking, Leatherworking Etc. I enjoy expressing my kinks and interests through my art and writing, as well as making my own BDSM equipment and toys.

I have been involved in the BDSM lifestyle, and BDSM community for over eighteen years. My kinks and interests include. . . . Curvy/Thick Girls, BDSM, Pregnant Girls, Enemas, Fat Girls, Feederism, Really Fat Girls, Inflation of all types, including, Fluids, Air, Cum, Food/Stuffing. Etc. . . . Pretty much anything that involves, or results in a girl having a big, round belly. . . . Extremely Fat Girls, Force Feeding, Teasing & Humiliation, Piggy Play, Corporal Play & Punishment . . . and many other related activities that would fall within the BDSM & Feederism lifestyles. . . . Oh . . . and did I mention that I like . . . FAT GIRLS??? . . . Honestly, I appreciate, and I am attracted to beauty in all shapes & sizes. . . . From "Average" to Extremely Huge.

While my "Real Life" involvement in BDSM goes back some eighteen-plus years. . . . My awareness of, and interest in it, has existed since I was very young . . . as early as eleven as I recall.

But my interest and attraction to Feeding and Fat Girls goes back even further . . . to when I was very, very young. I have had an obsession with Fat Girls, the act of feeding them, and making them fatter, almost as long as I can remember.

Both my interest in BDSM and Feederism existing long before I was aware of a sexual/arousal connection.

I can remember being as young as seven or eight. . . . Drawing cartoons of a very hungry girl going from one fast food restaurant to another. . . . Eating and eating . . . growing progressively fatter. . . . Her belly expanding against the table, and pinning her in the booth. . . . Her clothes gradually splitting at the seams. . . . Until finally, she ended up lying flat on her back, too fat and gorged full to move.

I also drew other cartoons of girls being forcibly fed and fattened . . . by usually unseen antagonists, or sometimes by machines. . . . Fed until they were incredibly huge and often perfectly round.

I kept those cartoons well hidden, and was always scared to death someone would find them. . . . I wish I still had those crude cartoons. . . . But sadly, they are long gone. . . . Having been destroyed at some point for fear of being discovered.

So you could say my perversion has been life long. . . . How or why I initially became exposed to it, or how these kinks and interests became so engrained in me I cannot say.

But I do remember . . . the 1937 Merry Melodies cartoon "Pigs Is Pigs" captivated me from the time I first saw it as a child. And it has stuck with me all my life. . . . It certainly contained themes of BDSM and Feeding. . . . Force Feeding against someones will to be exact.

The 1951 cartoon "Chow Hound" also sticks in my mind. . . . Particularly the end scene with the forced, funnel feeding.

So blame cartoons again if you must. . . . But I for one, am so glad someone decided to make those silly little cartoons all those years ago. . . . Though I am sure their intention was to tell a "moral lesson", rather than creating arousal . . . Ooops!

There is also the 1971 movie "Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory" . . . You know . . . the Blueberry Girl scene! . . . Yet another intended moral lesson gone awry. . . . Turned into a life-long perversion/kink for many out there.

But I am who I am. . . . I make no excuses for it . . . and I know there are many, many others out there . . . both male and female, just like me.

About my art and writing.

I am a perverse, imaginative individual, with a highly creative, extremely fertile mind. . . . I have countless thoughts and ideas, and enjoy expressing my kinks and perversions in the form of drawings, sculptures and written material. etc.

Over the years I have created these works primarily for my own personal enjoyment, and as a means of purging my thoughts and ideas, to make room for new ones. . . . When I come up with a thought or idea, it tends to stick with me until I do something with it. . . . So . . . sketching the idea out, or writing it down allows me to get it out of my head and recorded into some tangible form. . . . Thus leaving my brain free to create other new ideas.

Unfortunately most of this material exists only in the form of sketchy outlines, disconnected scenarios and ideas, rough sketches or doodles. Most of it not developed enough for any kind of  public dissemination.

Often times I may work at something, getting it partially developed . . . then, Real Life issues or some new idea interferes, and draws my attentions elsewhere. Some of these ideas may often sit for months . . . or in some cases, years before I come back to them.

Recently, I have been trying to bring some of these works to the point of completion. And I have decided to finally post some of these publicly for the enjoyment of those who are like minded . . . and share my particular kinks.

However, my Real Life / work situation often leaves me very little time for these indulgences . . . an hour here . . . thirty minutes there.  So postings may be few and far between. . . . But, I do have a few works nearing completion, and will post when I can.

I am posting on Tumblr first. . . . I had set up a Tumblr account some time ago with the intention of starting to post there. . . . But then Tumblr had their morality implosion. . . . Though I do still see such material being posted there . . . having to scroll through their dashboard to look at stuff is a fucking pain in the ass.

So I was going to use Twitter . . . as it seemed to be the place to where most have gravitated. . . . But discovered while it is well suited for the posting of pictures . . . it is not well suited for the posting of longer writings.

I have also had a Deviant Art account for many years . . . but never have posted anything there. . . . Turns out, Deviant Art isn't as “deviant” as they profess to be. . . . I am not fond of their censorship practices.

There are other places to post this sort of material . . . but for now, Tumblr seems to be the place to start. . . . I may also cross post to Deviant Art to see what happens. . . . If I do post material anyplace else, I will post appropriate info and links.

By no means do I consider myself a "writer". . . . My writing is crude at best. But let's face it, I am not attempting to write the next best seller, or block buster film here. This is masturbation material! . . . Fatty Porn . . . Fatty-rotica if you will. . . . If my writing manages to make some cocks hard, and some pussies wet . . . well then . . . mission accomplished!

This material is not for everyone. . . . It is intended for “mature” adults only. . . . If you ARE NOT interested in such subject matter, please go elsewhere! . . . There are countless diversions on the internet to entertain you.

For those who are incapable of understanding or accepting this sort of material. Who seek it out purely for the "Freak Factor", and "Shock Value". . . . Who feel compelled to post comments telling me what a Sick Pervert I am . . . a Twisted Fuck . . . a Perverted Freak . . . that I am Fucked In the Head . . . Etc. Etc.

Thank you! . . . I am well aware of this. . . . I embrace it . . . I promote it . . . I live it . . . and I do my best to indulge it, nurture it and grow it every chance I get. ;)

So please don't waste your time and effort, or the time of those who do enjoy such material. . . . Just go find something that you enjoy, whatever it is, and focus your attentions there. . . . Trust me my friend . . . there will come a point in your life when you realize TIME is far to valuable to waste.

For those of you who ARE interested in such things . . . Please. . . . Enjoy!

[thefloatingstone]

I really like your blog! I specifically like the stuff you reblog because it's so in tune with my interests that I can browse for hours while forgetting that this is in fact NOT my dashboard! I hope you're feeling better and talking to someone.

Thank you very very much, Anon! That’s really flattering, and I’m really glad you find my blog so enjoyable. Sometimes I worry I reblog too much and that people may only be following me for my art and become disappointed by my blog as a whole. So it’s really nice to hear.

It’s been a couple of weeks, so I am feeling better, thank you. And I am talking to somebody, I promise

Thank you, anon

It’s really rough, I won’t lie. And it’s been rough for a very long time. But I do hear you on the “it’s impossible to NOT find somebody who’ll click with me.” But I do sometimes fall into the thinking of “how is it possible that there are 7 billion people out there and I seem to struggle in finding anyone irl to even have a conversation with.” But that’s a thought pattern I don’t really want to entertain right now.

Also, it sounds weird to say, but thank you for saying it’ll get worse before it gets better. Because that kinda.... makes it feel more real, you know? It’s way too easy for my brain to just think nice things people say are “empty platitudes”. So when something feels a little more down to earth, it hits me a little harder. So thank you.

Thank you so much @under-the-dragonz-tail. Things are better now. At least for right now. But thank you for sticking with me while I was in a really bad place, and for reach out.

Thank you Anon.

thank you

Thank you @nina-thegamergirl And thank you for the good vibes and sending me some kind words. Nothing has changed yet, but I’m hanging in there a little better now. Thank you for messaging me and making me feel less alone and isolated

@torrikor We may not talk a lot but I still consider you a friend

This legit made me crack a tiny little bit the first time I read it.

Thank you Anon

Thank you @vass-junk It’s really difficult to try and fight feelings when they punch down that hard, but things are better now, at least for now. And thank you for caring about me, even if just in a tumblr fandom sense.

Thank you so much @sin-cognito Things are better now.

While I was trapped in a pit of depression and literally could not keep up with tumblr and did nothing but stare at youtube for 2 days straight, I couldn’t remember who said these things, but somewhere in that pit my brain was clinging onto the things you mentioned, specifically “nobody can predict what tomorrow brings” and how you pointed out that all my negative thoughts all started with “I feel”. So while in that terrible mindset, those two things really hit me and gave me some sort of grounding, and I remembered them clearly despite the rest of those 2 days being kind of a blur.

So I sincerely want to thank you very much for that. It definitely helped, probably more than you realise even after hearing me trying to explain it.

Thank you for being there, and for sending me this message, and for looking out for me and showing me that in whatever way, I’m not completely and utterly alone, even if I am all by myself.

oof. I know that feel. That’s been happening a lot lately.

Thank you @readingatdawn7. And thank you for writing something even after tumblr tried to sabotage you! The move was really hard coming off the back of a year of really hard things. I’m still not sure if it will be alright in this town, but I’ve been making plans and taking steps to change things and I hope they can come to fruition soon.

@legademacinderheart It’s more than just consolation, believe me. And even if online connects can’t replace ones in real life, they do a TOn just to let me know there ARE people out there who actually exist in real life who actually do care, even if just through fandom or because I can draw.

I don’t think I fully realise how lucky I am to have that, and how much worse it could have been if I didn’t.

@xxtc-96xx Thanks TC!

Thank you @itmestine and honestly? Even if it took a year and a half, it’s somehow comforting to hear it happened at all. I still don’t know if it’s even possible for me to find some form of irl friendship here, but I am trying. It’s difficult, but I’m making an effort not to spend all of my time in my room working. Even if it’s just driving to the mall to get groceries or going to a favourite place to eat. I am making a large effort not to just sit by myself all the time.

Somebody suggested getting into a DnD game which can be a good way to meet people. But I haven’t tried it yet. I’m concerned about asking on the town’s facebook page because I’m worried I’ll get marked as some sort of “““satanist”““ for wanting to play DnD. But I’m also worried about starting my own game and inviting people to it because I don’t know how to DM and I feel I’m too awkward and shy to be the person heading a game.

I’m going off topic now though. Thank you for sharing with me. It does give me a little bit of hope.

@54viruses Have I told you how jazzed I am that you’re on tumblr now? Because I am really REALLY jazzed to see you on tumblr!! I was REALLY happy and excited when I saw your avatar pop up on my notifs here! And I’m super happy to see you around

And thank you so much man. And I legit can’t even believe you remember the mayo rice balls. Holy shit.

(I still love them)

@sketchehkimmeh Honestly? that whole “go to a coffee shop” thing just to be around people even if not directly interacting is a really good idea. A coffee shop I really like is moving to the mall around the corner from me, and I’m hoping once they open I can start spending a lot of time there, if only to write fanfics or something. (I’m hoping a change in environment might help the writing thing)

And don’t worry, I am seeing a therapist and he’s helping me with stress management and anxiety problems. He can’t really help me meet other people, but it’s at least one extra person I can speak to.

Thank you for sending me some words of encouragement.

And thank you to everyone else as well. I know I’ve had bad spots in the past before, but this was.... probably the worst I’ve had. I certainly can’t remember being that low before. I’ve never reached a point where I literally shut down and couldn’t do anything but watch youtube while lying in bed for 2 days straight.

Your messages did help though. I read them on my phone as I was notified of them, even though I didn’t have the energy to scroll through tumblr. I don’t know if I fall into that headspace again if I feel they’d be as effective as I do re-reading them while I’m feeling better, but I remember in my fugue state that your words and messages and just the very very simple fact that people cared enough to SAY things to me helped an enormous deal, even if it just meant it chased away dark thoughts and the adrenaline pumping through me for 5 minutes, it was 5 minutes feeling better than I had been previously.

So that you again. I’m sorry I took so long to respond. I was in no condition to do so when you guys sent these, and when I started feeling better I just wanted to ignore those feelings and try get back to normal again.

But thank you.

[usertaylorswift]

the fact that taylor swift’s reputation stadium was my FIRST concert ever and also my FIRST time went out abroad JUST SO I COULD SEE TAYLOR PERFORM...was something beyond my imagination. i really really thanked my dad who allowed me (and yup the rest of the family ofc as my other plus one which were 5 of us) to see taylor even if it took us abroad. SOMEWHERE WHERE IT ISN’T IN MY OWN COUNTRY. i’ve been waiting since speak now tour where i was just sit here in front of my computer screen, scrolling through my dashboard watching all the tour posts and people’s excitements of seeing taylor live and meeting her physically. and even through the rest of her 5th albums afterwards...i tried to contain all my jealousy and kept wondering to myself, “when the hell am i gonna get my chance to see her?”. even when she did it in my country back in RED tour, i couldn’t be able to go due to the school national exam that i had to face. and ofc for the rest of her next albums, she didn’t come here and i had no money to come.

but this year, last month i FINALLY got my chance even when i got to go to australia which was the nearest country from mine. y’know...it took a lot of courage to ask my dad and also made it as a family discussion for asking a permission if they wanted to see taylor swift’s concert abroad. i couldn’t go by myself. parents wouldn’t allow me. ofc i had to involve them on it. and when i told them about the dates and stuff, it was a shocking moment when my dad just answered it with, “okay, let’s go. which show do you want to attend?”. and i was like, “ARE YOU SERIOUS, DAD???”. so i told him about the rest of the shows when it was on August (planned it on that month). my first thought was Japan show but dad wouldn’t want to cuz we just went there. and i picked the nearest country which is Australia. and my dad agreed! also as a plus for holiday too hehe. the buying tickets weren’t done by that moment. it took about 3 or 4 days to remind my dad about the concert and asked him again if he seriously meant it. and he did mean it! so yeah, i went to the ticketing sites which city did i want to go and i picked melbourne. and then BOOM! the magical thing that i’ve been waiting for since 2009.

attending taylor swift’s tour has been one of my life goals in life that i’ve been DYING to crossed check it off my list. and also, it’s been one of the greatest goosebumps i’ve never felt in my life. it wasn’t because i’m scared (HELL NO HAHAHA), but it was because i’m excited and nervous of what it feels like to finally see her. i screamed at the top of my lungs during the whole show from the beginning to the end. i finally got to feel and see what everybody’s has been get. and i FINALLY got to say to my best friend, “i’m finally seeing the person that i’ve been looked up to and i’ve been adored and loved since i was 12 years old”. the excitement is still here...even when the tour ends today.

but ofc it’s not the end of taylor. she still has a lot more to come. to surprise us, to entertain us, to always makes us being seen and looked when nobody else never does. i cannot wait to enjoy the next chapter. and i wish that i get to see you again in another time and i’m planning to go with my best friend who’s also love and adore you on my second chance to see you. i wish that i get to meet you in person and i can be thanking you for helping me with your music, your amazing words on how you want to help others who are in need, and also for exist in music industry.

i love you forever and always, @taylorswift <3

[seelestia]

AAHH it feels good to be back, although temporarily :''D

I've missed you too Lia, my dearest author !!

I'm not gonna lie, I take back missing aircon and cool rooms cuz bro I got a sore throat as soon as I slept with the AC blasting and woke up with a voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard :''D

I hope you had a good time during your mini vacation tho! Hiking up and walking around mountains sounds fun until your legs turn to jelly BUT the added strawberries make up for some of it lmaoo

The new apartment has been pretty good honestly, I actually have yet to feel homesick when I resided there (maybe because my roommates and I are really close and familiar with each other so we've been having fun!) and so far it's been pretty good going from the apartment and getting home for a bit (minus the getting sick part :''D)

Regarding the content I'm able to consume with my limited data back in the apartment- I've been sustaining my boredom with pre-downloaded fics so that I can still be at least entertained when scrolling through my phone :D

I've come to love Tighnari but I haven't seen a lot of content from the other sumeru characters so that's something I've gotta get into!

Since we are currently talking about the sumeru characters- have you any new favorites among them? Like I've said, I don't know much about most of them so I can't really answer my own question heh :'D

I hope you have a nice day/evening! I always await your lovely answers, and they truly have made me smile each time you pop up on my dashboard! :D - Ever so sincerely yours, 👹✨ anon/jae <3 (thank you for the warm welcome!)

hehe, i missed you too~ and noooo, not the sore throat??? i heard it's because AC's take the moisture out of the air so it makes your throat dry 😭 i hope it goes away soon! shall we raid a convenience store for some throat lozenges?? 🏃 (/j)

niceeee, i like that you seem to be settling in fine~ maybe, having your roommate around grants a sense of familiarity??? it feels like there's still a piece of home with you even when you're far away >:)

( talks about the sumeru archon quest utc !! )

the pre-downloaded fics are becoming your top supplier fr fr 😭 i always pick out fics with a long word count because that equals more time without boredom fjwkdkfke and your love for tighnari is SO VALID, he's vv caring and soft, but he might deflect back with some sass (/j)

ohoho, my current fav sumeru character is alhaitham! not necessarily in a 'i simp for him' way but in a way that he vv much intrigues me, especially after i just finished the current sumeru archon quest. we still don't know where his loyalties lie (to the higher-ups of the akademiya? or perhaps, to himself all along?) — so yeah, i'm vv excited to find out more about him in the next update! also, apparently, cyno isn't very fond of him and the scene where the two were fighting in the sumeru trailer was an actual fighting scene and not friendly sparring??? either way, i want to study this man like he's a specimen in a jar (/j)

that's alright~ you're on genshintok and at times, it can be both entertaining and informative (speaking from a fellow someone who is also on genshintok, hehe). also, i saw this tiktok and was reminded of you because remember when you asked me about my opinion on how sumerians view the traveler??? YEAH, THIS IS THE ONE 😭

[therealphantoms]

This is important.

I normally don't get involved in political mumbo jumbo, just not a good idea generally. I'm an entertainer, I entertain, I'm an actor, not a politician or a lobbyist or someone with authority in our judicial or political systems, I'm just another Joe Schmoe like you whose getting by in the world with his own aspirations, objectives, trying to hurdle over my own obstacles both tangible and internal.

But I can't escape... this.. whatever this is. This ongoing debate between two juxtaposed sides of equal extremism and ferocity that has been raging on and on to a point of near total alienation from each other. Opposing political opinion has turned into fights for the soul and epic conflicts of petty jabs and character assassinations.

Everywhere I go, scrolling through my facebook timeline, my twitter feed, my tumblr dashboard, all I see is post after post of one extreme or the other.

Democrats scoff at the idea of the need to have firearms in case our government ever becomes tyrannical, yet will speak to no end as to how there is currently a very dangerous tyrant ruling the country as we speak.

Republicans will gladly talk about our constitutional rights and the importance of american integrity, yet will willingly ignore every lie, cover up, and shred of evidence of foreign interference in our political system, down to even saying actual indictments from the FBI of foreign agents who interfered in that very way are just blatantly untrue or unjustified.

I've seen gun advocates and friends honestly say that its a good idea to repeal laws preventing people with mental illnesses and people with confirmed ties to violent, anti-american organizations from having firearms.

I've seen fellow actors and colleagues outright state that they have completely abandoned the democracy that made this nation great and have fully converted to socialism and have actively pushed for socialist agendas.

When did we lose our ability to compromise?

Why is it not okay to increase the effectiveness of background checks and pass legislation that prevents firearms getting into the hands of irresponsible and potentially dangerous people?

Why do we have to have transgender specific bathrooms with extra doors and extra features. Why is the regular family/all gender bathroom not acceptable?

This great nation is quickly becoming more divided than its almost ever been, and its all because we've allowed pride and prejudice to fuel our arguments and our political platforms and we've allowed ourselves to be unable to compromise.

We need to fix that. Fast.

Drain the swamp, vote for change, do whatever we must do but we must regain our ability to think objectively and be able to compromise, because the decisions we make today will affect our lives and the lives of our children and the lives of our children's children.

There are only 3 other times in our history our nation was this divided.

The first time, we built this nation.

The third time, we stopped conflict and gave African Americans the right to vote.

The second time... ended in civil war.

Be careful what you choose.